May 27, 2023 • 53 mins
“So I’m a summertime gal because your best family get-togethers, out here in the summertime, right? Also, my birthday is the ultimate summertime gig.” - Dulcé Sloan
“Winter comes with a lot of the good foods, comes with a ton of indoor activities. If you're an introvert, winter reigns supreme.” - Josh Johnson
It’s Summer vs. Winter this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. Original Air Date: November 3, 2022.
Hold Up is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to hold up. I'm your co host, Josh shatts
of a writer for the Daily Show, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Joined bye me dull, stay sloan, and I did not
want to. I'll say this sometimes as someone who hold on,
hold on. I'll say this sometimes as someone who is
(00:37):
in the public eye right and who is a performer.
People will make requests of you m hm when it
comes to how you express yourself. If you are a
fan of a comedian or performer, mainly comedian, and you
want to d m them, message them, come up to
(00:59):
them after a show and give them a joke, give
them notes, tell them about what you think you should
they should change. Shut the fuck up, put something in
your mouth. I don't care what it is, and go away.
You are the worst person because you are not a fan.
(01:24):
I don't need your notes. I don't need you. None
of us need your notes. None of us are going
to tell your bar joke to anybody. And don't get
offended when you ask us, can I tell you a joke?
And we say no, We write our own material. We
don't need you. Also, if you were dating a comedian,
you are not that interested the number of dudes that
(01:47):
I've talked to us like, don't put this in your act.
Don't worry I won't. You're either annoyed that I did
put it in or annoy or you're annoyed that I
might put something in, or nor that I won't put
something in. And my favorite is because we've told men
they're funny, because that's what the ugly men have to
go off of, or even men want to be interesting, right,
(02:07):
so we've told men that they're funny. That's why we
have this thing about women not being funny. The number
of men I've had to say to me, I bet
I'm funnier than most of your friends, sir. My friends
have comedy specials. My friends have comedy specials, albums, tours.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I feel like this, it would be funny to do this.
This episode is don't say versus the dia ops.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I can say I'm very annoyed by the amount
of respect that I get in my DMS. There's never
a man trying to holler at me in my DMS.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Ever, there's always some annoying woman.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
One good thing that has been happening is I've been
getting lots of pitches in my DM for potential episodes,
and I think you're gonna like a couple of them,
a couple of them.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
No one's sending me anything for pretent I would love
that one.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I got a bunch of good ones, and so we're
gonna have to start doing shout outs like on the
specific person that's like, hey, we thank you so much
to the person, because I feel like some of them
were so specific that I was like, Yeah, this is
this is great.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh man, I cannot wait to hear. But what are
some of the ones that we're never gonna do.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I mean, I I don't see us doing DC versus Marvel. No,
one's not really gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
No, no, Uh, could don't know enough about either Camp,
don't know who's who. I don't know where spider Man stay.
I don't know where Batman live. Also, Michael Keaton is
the only Batman I care about.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
That's a hot take, bro, That's wow. Before we get
into like a bad, bad debate, let's tell the people
what this episode is about today is one that's actually
very close to our hearts.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Very close to my heart, am my titties.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
See see what I mean? Though about the like like
I you know, I sort of said a thing and
then you sang a thing you felt, you know, like
you were gonna stunt on me in my face.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I'm not trying to stunt. I'm just trying to live
my best life. Listen, I got these nails done. Okay,
I have the nails of the woman, like I said
on Instagram are the nails of the woman in Dolly
Park and warned us about. Okay, and Joline, Joline, you
get it?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, no, no, look I Joline, so whoutn't you?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Joline? Listen, I didn't have a proper warm up, so
that Joe Listen, I'm gonna have to come back up
to that as well episode after I've had a proper
warm up because I just embarrassed myself.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
You know, I'm doing great, And tell the people what
this episode is about, and then tell them where you stand.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
This episode is about a conversation that I have on
a regular basis and a war that I have been
waging since I was a wee girl. And the topic
of today's episode is as if you didn't read it
on the caption, but but all of you who did not,
(05:39):
it is summer versus winter.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Be I know versus in Vietnam? Do I know how
to say versus and Spanish? No, it's probably versus. I
don't know. No one's ever asked me. What I'm saying
is summertime versus winter time? And since we know that
Josh has a tendency to be wrong, WHOA what side
(06:04):
are you for? Josh?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
What time I'm for? Winter?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Wrong? Wrong?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
What are you wrong?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
You are? You are wrong? You're absolutely categorically in core
fucking wreted. And I will tell you all of the
ways right after this and we're back listen, Josh, I
(06:36):
can say, in the history of us doing this podcast,
I never really let you fully get your points out
mm hmm before I stopped them out of existence.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You know.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
So I want you, I want to give you a
chance on this good Christian morning, Josh, unless you go
ahead and tell us why you live.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
This life. Okay. So, I think that this time we're
that we're in right now in the month, is the
perfect time to talk about this because right now we're
in fall. We're in an equal split between the two. Okay.
You know, we still have memories of summer and we
still have a winter to look forward to. And for me,
(07:27):
I think that winter is just the coziest.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
You're inside, you're snuggled up, you're eating some good, some good,
hearty food that's warm. You can't have that during the summer,
all right. If someone made you like a nice, thick,
full stew, you don't want that in the summer. You
can't eat it. It's too hot outside. You don't want
hot in your mouth. Okay. You can't be snuggled up
(07:55):
under quilts all sorts of covers and comforters. You can't
be under blankets in the summer, all right, snuggled up
with a good book. Yeah, maybe outside while you're roasting mhmm.
But in the winter, you're inside, maybe next to a fireplace, right,
all all cozied up with a honey bun, you know,
(08:19):
literal or figurative, depending where you.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
You got a honey bunch. You cuddling up with Josh
Josh out here referencing cuffing season. You, Josh Johnson, celebrate
cuffing season.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Wow, I'm not saying celebrate cuffing. I'm just saying, if
you're with somebody, it's nice to be with somebody when
it's cold outside. You can snuggle up warm each other.
You know, I will say the other thing that's really great.
It's like any any inside activity for a homebody is
only elevated in the winter because now there there's no
(09:00):
guilt about not going out and outside your window depends
on where you live, you get to see the beautiful
trenk will snow.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Fall, all right.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
There's there's something about there's something about snow on the
horizon that's just peaceful and beautiful. Okay. Winter comes with
a lot of good foods, it comes with a ton
of the indoor activities. If you're a if you're an introvert,
winter reign supreme. Get to wear mittens. Tell me you
(09:31):
don't love.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Mittens, No, nigga, I'm not six years old.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Mittens are superior. All right. I'm tired of this thing where,
you know, as a black man, I gotta be so tough.
I gotta act like I love mittens. All right. I
wish I had them all.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Right now, listen, no one's asking you to be tough.
Don't wow what.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Oh you know what a what is? Oh? Wow?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
The nerve?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
What you know?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
What? What is?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I'm just saying, no one's asking Josh Ezekiel Johnson to
throw hands. No one's asking you to do that.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I'm not even saying throw hands. I'm saying be tough.
I'm saying that sometimes in life, especially as a man,
you're expected to be a certain level of tough where
you don't even like stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Okay, there are at mittens.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Mitten.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
First of all, you don't buy many of them. Okay,
A lot of them are gifted to you by grandmothers,
women in your life that are of a certain age
that love to knit. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
I hear you. Listen. I disagree with everything you just said.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
But.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Listen, I wear my best summertime dress because I'm trying
to keep hope alive. Nice. This is uh, this is
a dress. Whenever I wear it on stage is to
let white people know that I have white friends. Are
they sleep? Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, the sleeves, the sleeves scream yeah. You know. I
didn't enjoy Midsummer, but I watched it, you know, to
support the white community.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Midsummer Night's Dream? What do we?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Oh? No, no, the horror movie Midsummer That.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I don't watch horror movies. It's hard enough out here, dog,
I don't need my brain attacking me anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That that's what I'm saying. It says that I'm not
saying you did that.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Oh yeah, this dress definitely I support. Yes, this dress
definitely said yes, I'll have a beer, you know, as
it is just I don't drinking. I pah disgusting, right.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yeah, I called them ias for the longest.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No one corrected you.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No one corrected me for like a while.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yo, that's not even Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, I worked at Trailer Joe's.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
You worked to Trader Joe's.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's where they're Yeah. I worked Joe's for years.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh I know, you worked to Trader Jos for years.
What I'm saying is that the fact that you worked
at a Trader Joe's where I pas live. Yeah, and
no one took the time to pull a young man.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Aside and was like stop saying.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
How did you find out?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I eventually said it out louder for somebody. Yeah, I
was just I was like living in ignorance. But it
never came up because in your.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Defense, they put an S on the end, but the
S is little. Also, I don't know what the letters.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Mean, uh Indian pale alere do.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
We mean like Native American Oh.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I have no idea. I just I just know that
that when it's spelled out, that's what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
There is there is there a beer making history among
the Native Americans or the people of India.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I have no idea. Yeah, I mean I didn't understand
it even when it was explained to me. I wished
that Ipa was right.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I mean, at the end of the day, they're still nasty. Yeah.
I think you have to really be a white man
to enjoy them. I truly think they're tuned perfectly mm
hmm to that palette mm hmmm, because I've never seen
(13:52):
anyone who wasn't one.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah. Yeah, I don't drink, So I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh, I always forget you nine, never forget you don't drink.
I'm always like Josh, I love imagining you at like
a college party, just being like I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Oh yeah, no, I was standing there.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Good lord, I can't say I don't. I don't not drink.
Some of my friends was like, one of my friends
was like, have you considered not like stopping drinking, And
I was like, I don't drink enough to stop drinking,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I feel like I've only ever seen you have a
drink twice and I've known you for years.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, I don't drink. I don't drink all the time,
and if I do drink, I'll have one or two.
I don't like being drunk.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Now, I guess I'll ask you this. Then, since you're
on the side of summer, hell, do you still drink
the same things in the summer as you do in
the winter.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I do the same thing year round, year round. Okay,
So I enjoy sold you year round. I enjoy a
whiskey and soda, tequila soda year round. If I am
going to go for a fruity bevarrage, your coladas, your Jackeries,
(15:05):
your Marguerite's, it is usually warm outside, Okay, I would
now if there is now, I will have a margherita
year round, if there is caso.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Wow, Okay, that first of all, that makes perfect sense.
I used to work at a Mexican restaurant, and that
makes perfect sense. But also would not have if you
had not said anything. Paired them together.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
In my mind, you gotta margarit if you're eating case
you got.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like that
makes so much sense, and looking back on when I would,
you know, do the orders and when I was serving yep,
but also never put it together until just now.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Oh yeah, because you need the acidity to bust up
all that cheese, but then you need the cheese to
help regulate the acidity.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I want you to have your own cooking show because
bust up is oh an incredible way to describe it.
Bust up.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well, the thing is you can't and you usually can't
get I did not realize this until I left the South.
But you can't get white kso out of like a couple.
So others like, would you leave?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Also, I recently bought a knitting machine and now I'm
out here making beanies. Scarf, Josh, what colored beanie you want,
baby boy? I got a red color coming up. Listen,
I've seen you in a beanie.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Now look look, look, I will take a red beanie.
But if you could make me some red mittens, hey
out here all right?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So you're saying, if I can get you red mittens
to go at this red beanie, you would wear them.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I would. I would not just wear them, I would
sport them. There'd be Instagram posts, there'd be a lot
going on mittens and a matching beanie. I don't think
I've had that in life.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Now do you when you want your beanie, do you
want the little like faux fur little poof on the top.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
What's the poof?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Do?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I guess?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
At decoration I got sixty of them, so if you
want one.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
A kid once told me that it breaks up the wind,
and I was like, I don't see how that's possible.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I don't think. But maybe wind breakers don't even break
up the wind. Wind breakers just hold wind. Yeah, wind
breakers should be called wind catchers.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
But I get what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Then.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, it's like a lot of what you prefer happens
during the summertime.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Right. Also, it's like I don't like being hot indoors,
and I don't like being cold outside, right, Okay. Also
I enjoy sitting outside. You know, I've got a nice
terrace about. It's like, I enjoy sitting outside. I have
patio furniture, right, and it is much easier to sit outside.
(18:00):
You know, you're talking about reading your books people who
are like introverts and such. I mean, I think introverts
do the same thing year round, because they just do
what they do. But if you're going to sit up
and enjoy a nice like like a couple of weeks ago,
I was sitting on my terrace because on the top floor,
so like I can see, like you know, the sky
is so big. Sit down there on my patio furniture
(18:23):
reading the book. And if it's thirty degrees outside, you're
not gonna enjoy sitting outside reading shit because you're you're
dabbing an eye, you're dabbing a nose, your finger, you
can't fit your fingers to turn the pages. Right.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Also, I'm a beach person.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
All right, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
So, oh, should we have to do an episode about
beaches versus mountains like vacations?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Down for that because I have so many thoughts and
feelings about that situation, because we have to admit, like
a beach, it's like a summertime vaca the mountains lost month,
hogyas there's really a winter time gig, right, like going
to the mountains in the summer. It's like, girl, for who?
For why? Who asked for those?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Absolutely? For absolutely, we don't have to. We don't have to.
It's fine, it's fine, but yeah, but I'll tell you
why you wrong later?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Okay, sure, all right, So like I'm a team summer
because it's you're out and about, you're seeing people. It's
just the ability to It doesn't even have to be
like a big trip like you go on the day trips.
You could just be in a park. You could just
sit in a park and enjoy your day. You can
(19:41):
have a couple of nibbles, you know, a couple of nibbles,
maybe some Boobli, maybe some epas, whatever you and like
enjoying when you're out enjoying a nice day. You can
just do that. It's easier to do things and just
getting groceries is easier summertime. Getting doing laundry is easier.
(20:03):
Just running an erran is easier in the summertime because
you're not out here looking like the kid from a
Christmas story.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
This is I understand where you're coming from, because a
lot of the things that you're saying makes sense for you.
As long as I've known you, all these things have
been have been true. So I get why you lean
towards summer. But there are just certain things that hey,
you're not having hot chocolate when it's hot out, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Okay, that's a beverage. I'm talking about sitting in the park.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, no, no, no, Still I still say there are plenty
of activities that you can go do in the winter.
There's a whole Winter Olympics for people that love the winter.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
All right, okay, but what about if you live somewhere
that gets cold mm hmm but doesn't always snow, like Atlanta,
for instance. People do not know because somebody gave Atlanta
to some white people in a fucking building, gave Atlanta
this nickname of Hotlanta, and people think that it's hot
(21:04):
year round, which is not true, and Atlanta will get
down on the teens.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I thought it was called hot Lanta because of the people.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
No, that was marketing bullshit.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Wow, okay, because when it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Came out, we all went the fuck we didn't vote
for this, and they put it on everything. Yeah, and
now every corny ass person I've ever met it's like, so,
you're from Hotlanta. No, bitch, I'm not. I'm not from
a marketing campaign. None of us enjoy all of us
saw it, and we're like, this is gonna be a
(21:39):
fucking problem. Like no one's running around like New York,
but no New Yorker is like, yeah, I'm from the
Big Apple. Like, no one's doing this, no one is
doing that. I'm not running around them calling the peach safe.
I think for me, the things that I enjoyed doing
the most are during my favorite season, so because I
enjoy it out aquatic activity. Right, you can't be in
(22:03):
nobody's swimming pool when it's forty degrees outside, when your
pool is probably frozen somewhat. It's cold as shit. Yeah,
cold enough to kill you.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
This is this one. It's important to have friends with
indoor pools.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, sure, that's long as I could do a lot
of hotels like up North, a lot of them I
have indoor pools or heated pool So it's like, I
can't say. This summer summer of twenty twenty two, I
kept seeing it on Instagram. It was like, yo, this
summer left like it had.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Somewhere to be it did.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I thought it was just me. I looked up and
was like, bitch, is this September?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Yeah, well it was not very quick, and I thought
it was just your girl. But everyone else looked up
and I'm like, oh, fuck about wearing a jacket. It
was it's been and she's she flew the fucking coop
shit bills to pay.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
And she was upset before she left because those were
some heat waves.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
I couldn't even say outside it was hot, because I
was like, I love sitting out doors, but also I
know that New York is hot? Wrong, what do you mean?
I was talking to Telle late about this and he
completely understood.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Okay, listen, So uh huh.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
First of all, it's building hot, It's not nature hot, right, Okay, So,
like I remember a couple years ago, I was supposed
to do this thing called Ausie Fest and they canceled
it because of the heat. And I called my mother,
who grew up in Miami. It is the most of
(23:38):
her adult life in the Great State of Georgia, as
you can see on my Nicholas, and so I was like, Mommy,
they canceled this comedy show because of a heatwave. She said, girl,
how hot was it? One hundred and five? One hundred,
one hundred and five? How hot was it? I said, Mommy,
(24:00):
it was gonna be ninety four degrees and we laughed
for ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, Because in the South, we would have whole outdoor festivals,
whole fucking barbecues and it'd be ninety four degrees outside.
Why because it's nature hot. And we got enough watermelon
out here to keep everybody alive. Okay, sit that baby
in the shade, Come get some of these ribs. We're
gonna have a good day. Okay. We got enough cold
joints out here, enough coke and that is any carminated beverage.
(24:29):
We got enough water, We got enough, We got enough.
We got sweet tea out here to keep everybody the
fuck alive. You remember, right, you grew up in Louisiana
and up here first of all the number of places
that do not have air conditioning because they love to
call the self ignorant, but we have figured out HVAC.
(24:51):
They want to call us all kind of backwards and
barefoot and stupid or whatever, these Yankee bastards, But we
have figured out how to cool a home.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
The fact that my other apartment I had to have
a window unit as a grown adult, and I couldn't
control and I couldn't control my heat came on, which
was also truly fucking disrespectful. I'll pay you American dollars
with a comma in the bitch. Yeah, I got a
whole apartment, and my heat just come on when you
(25:22):
say so. So now I'm just in here, wearing the
least time to figure out to take my fucking skin
off because it's hotter, and a bitch in here because somebody,
because you know, Dino, doesn't turn the fucking heat on.
I ain't ask nobody. So I'm a summertime gal because
(25:42):
your best family get togethers out here in this summer
time right. Also, my birthday is the ultimate summertime gig. Yeah,
my birthday is July fourth. Wait, Josh, when's your birthday?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
March sixth? That I don't know. I don't really bring
it up.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
White a man and white a man at white a minute, Josh,
Jebediah Johnson, how dare Ah?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah, I just I just let it, you know what
I mean. I think that for me, I truly understand
what you're saying. I'm not saying summer doesn't have a
lot of amazing merits to it. My con with summer
is the heat waves. And you're saying that New York
is hot wrong, But isn't California having the same sort
(26:32):
of concrete heat issue.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
California, first of all, is a desert. That's the main thing.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, they don't have water.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, And I mean the thing is they put that there,
which is very confusing that they even did that.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah. I think at the time it was cheap land
and so then they built there.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Oh that makes sense. I mean it's not probably the best, No,
it's not.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
It's not a great idea long term.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
So, like, I've lived during the heat. This is the
weird thing about being in an La in a heat wave.
There was one day where it was one hundred and
eight degrees and then the sun went down and it
was seventy degrees yeah, and I was like, how do
you not catch your death in this pitch? Because I've
been in Georgia and it's been ninety two degrees at
(27:20):
two o'clock in the morning. The sun hasn't been out
for hours and it's still not in the nineties.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Yeah, but the temp has sense enough to regulate right the.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Time by since that doesn't regulate, so like LA bounces around.
Because that was the weird thing. When I first moved there,
I was like, okay, you know it's it's it's eighty
five degrees out here, we all here looking cute, and
then at nighttime, it'll be sixty five. I was like, oh,
that's why everybody in this pitch always has a jacket
with them.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah. Yeah, it's very confusing.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
And then when you get there, you're like, oh, I
get it. So that's why everyone's closed out here. Don't
make any sense? Yeah, because once the sun goes down,
you don't know what the hell temperature it's going to be.
But it's like, your most fun activities are in the summertime. Also,
and I hate super Also, you enjoy snowboarding, you enjoy
(28:10):
to boggining, you enjoy skiing.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
It's not about snowboarding or skiing, all right, It's about
having like a nice nature walk in the winter. If
I'm in the woods.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
It's thirty degrees outside, go inside. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
People act like you can't gear up for the winter.
You could be so comfortable if you just gear up
for the for the temperature in a heat wave that
you can't take off the skin, You can take off everything,
but you be naked and still hot. All right, But
in winter, you gear up enough and you're just comfortable.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Until you go inside somewhere and then you're sweating your
life away because that's The other thing about the winter.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Time is that, oh okay, all right. The other thing
about the winter time is.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
It's so hot indoors because I think now everybody's fucking
everybody's out regulating this ship, right, right, So like I
got on this sweat because like that's why I learned
to where winter on the outside and summer on the inside.
Because you'll see somebody have like a full thick ass whatever.
(29:40):
A cable knit is what the kids SAYI ass cable
nit sweater, right, and they look cozy. Yeah, but now
they've come inside a building.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
In the building, it's set to hell. Right. I've been
inside of bars that was too hot. When I was
a minute in Indiana over the weekend. Everywhere we went
inside was too warm. It was too warm. It wasn't
cold enough outside for as warm as it was inside. Right.
And so because the jacket that I brought was to
(30:15):
the coat that I brought a coat, I should have
brought a jacket. Right in New York, you're like, okay,
light jacket, jacket, coat cool. So it's like there's these
levels where it's just like you know, they all got
a jacket. I got a light jacket, right, I'm running around,
but da da da da da dada. Okay, let me
let me get a coat. Okay, now, let me call
(30:39):
north Face, let me get goose down involved. Okay, I
had to bring animals as reinforcement because I fucking freezing.
I mean, you know, you've seen my coats. They're they're warm,
They're very much warm. But so it's like you have
to have so many there's hats and scarves and boots
and gloves, and then then you gotta have salt for
(31:00):
the snow because like this is the thing I will
give you. This snow is pretty mm hmm the first
two days, and then it needs to go the fuck on.
Snow needs to find it, Snow needs to know. Snow
doesn't know when to leave.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Snow doesn't know when to leave.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Okay, snow show up. They'd be like, hey, y'all, the
first snow is very cute. It's nice, it's cute, it's quiet. Yeah,
you know, but too much snow shut your fucking city down. Okay.
Remember the bomb cyclone that hit New York at twenty eighteen,
(31:45):
because this was.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Not that crazy. If it was a bomb cyclone, why.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Did they call it a bomb cyclone? If it wasn't so.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Crazy because they were getting too hyped.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
It was just a fucking blizzard. We already had a
word for a bunch of snow showing the fuck up that.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's kind of where I was. Where I was like,
I heard bomb cyclone even I was like, a, this
may be too much snow, like maybe maybe we're in
for it, right, But then it hit and it maybe
it's because I lived in Chicago for a while, but
it hits and it wasn't like all that wild to.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Your barometer is different Chicago.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Chicago is egregious, like Chicago. They called it Shiberia that
one year because the lake almost froze over.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
That's a big ass leake.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
It's a huge lake. And then isn't that see the
sky view You see how far out of the shoreline
that it froze. And I was like, oh, yes, this
is this is actually too cold?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Is that lake Michigan? Uh, let's see which lake is
that you lived there for years and don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I wasn't really paying attention, negro. Let me see one second,
one second, hold on, I can look it up in
a moment. Not a huge deal. Nobody freak out, No,
what's freaking out?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I'm just saying it.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Everybody calmed down.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeahs Lake Michigan.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, Lake Michigan.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Why do you not know that?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Because you know it's a it's a great lake. So
I would just say the great lake.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
You would just not pick at the lake.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I just would pick the lake. I'd be like, you know,
a great lake right over there.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Because there's Lake Michigan. There's Eerie, there's Huron. Mm uh.
Which what's what's what's the superior? Which I think is
you know, being just a little full of yourself. What's
this other bitch called Ontario?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
You never met him? You never met him. Maybe it
is superior.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Maybe it is, maybe it ain't. I don't know. I
don't work here. What I'm saying is Chicago is the
fact that you even survived. Like one of my friends,
who's a thin man, moved to Chicago a couple of
years ago, and I was really worried about him. I
was like, you're gonna have to get ankle weights. It
was like, why, I said, because the wind has a name,
(34:12):
You're gonna get blown down the street like tumbleweed. So
you're Nigerian not made for this. You're not made for
that we're not even supposed to be here. Like you
know the joke that I have on my half hour
I talk about like black people were not supposed to
be here, m h. Because we're not supposed to fucking
be here. Bro, this ain't this, ain't this ain't snow hair.
(34:33):
That's why I don't trust these Yankee niggas, because they'd
be out here like yo, I fuck with snow like no, no, no,
just to get your jeans. Nigga, this doesn't make no sense.
You can't trust these Yankees. You cannot trust these snow niggas.
You can't. No, It's beautiful for two days and then
it shuts your fight. Snow is great and then you
(34:56):
know what happens in New York. This is what happens
in New York. You just watch the layers of snow
and just the amount of dog shit that shows up
all this other like you're just watching trash show up.
Is what happens when snow melts in New York. Okay,
dirty snow, yellow stoke, just ice just to snow. Like
(35:16):
That's why I was when that bomb cyclone hit. I
was like, this is a blizzard. Why are we not
calling this a blizzard. This is just a bunch of
fucking snow. Yes, I'm fully aware that summertime maybe the
time of the hurricane. I'm aware the hurricane season starts
(35:37):
in August.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
And runs until about what October. Remember, look so technically
fall it could be fallse fault. I'm not stressing. I'm
not stressing that summer is hurricane season or anything. All
I'm saying is that the heat wave. I'd be interested
in what kills more people? Is that the heat wave
(36:00):
or is it the potential blizzards?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
And I can tell you that in a lot of
states you are not allowed to cut people's gas or
power off in the wintertime. It was funny. I used
to work with this power company in Florida years ago
and there was a big freeze that happened in Florida.
Remember the year we didn't have any tomatoes, like every
(36:24):
like fast with the places like we got a tomatoes.
There's a big freeze in Florida. The price of oranges
shot up, and the prices in tomatoes were fucking gone.
The price of orange just shot the fuck up because
it was a huge freeze in Florida. And like I
the last time there was a big freeze in Florida.
I was living in Florida, and to see people in
Miami who have never felt forty degrees have to deal
(36:46):
with forty degrees was a wild thing. But you're not
allowed to cut people's So people were calling and like, hey,
you're not allowed to turn my power off. It's the
wintertime and it's freezing. And I was like, well, ma'am,
technically that's not a law in your state, I say,
because it's never been cold enough to pass that law.
(37:07):
So it's not.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Enough to kill you, right, we're.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Turning your lights off. Your lights are already off. I'll try,
but technically this law is not apply to you because
you don't live in Detroit. Concrete hot. It's a different
kind of hot. Also, there's no trees to absorb like
city hots. Different there's no trees to absorb any heat.
(37:34):
There's no real wind coming through nature to alleviate any
of it. Like all the wind that you get in
New York in the fall in the wintertime is wind
that you needed in the summer, Okay, to give some relief.
That's how you know. It's just we're not supposed to
(37:55):
be here, like, honestly, we throw all these buildings up,
made everything fucking hot. Like I remember as a kid
watching David Letterman and when I would see the joke like, oh,
it's hot enough to cook a egg on the sidewalk,
And then David Medelan was like what I'd say, it
was like the nineties, any little loop put an egg
on sidewalk and it was like sunnyside up.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
And I was like, this is this is clearly a
bad place.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Then clearly you're literally making breakfast on concrete, Like this
ship is not great. She should throw some home fries
next to that bitch. So it's summertime here is different
than summertime other places, because it's like it's just not.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Right, like all of your like just being I mean,
the humidity for me in Louisiana during the summer was
what killed me.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
It was like, that's because you always have pants and
long sleeve shirts on, probably.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Even when I was just like when I was young
and I wore shorts even then.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
It was so ugly the things I just made. Did
you see that? Like it just a mes hard.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I was looking down. I didn't see you at all.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
It was just your This man said what I wore sure.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Back in those days when I wore shorts, it was
just it was still like walking through hot water.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
The humidity in Louisiana is a different is a different boost.
It's a difference to Joasha. That's that's a different campaign.
Because the humidity in Miami, I'm fully aware of, will
just really I don't care how many Dominicans you go
to that blowout if you don't get it in that state.
(40:00):
I've took an Atlanta blowout to Miami and it did
not make it. My hair swollen up like one of
those fucking magic washcloths. Oh good girl, hair is done, though.
You got to get your hair done in that humidity
to fight that humidity. But the thing is when you
(40:20):
live somewhere as humid, your skin ooh mm hmm. Beach,
because that's what fucked me up. When I moved to
La it was so dry, and I grew up in
places with humanity. I had scabs on my face.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah, yeah, I will say here during the winter, it
does get extra.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Dry, oh all of the things you applied to your face.
But it was also really dry on a lake. Because
I remember talking to one of my friends and she
just looked at me. She was like, bitches ass, like
everything's dry at all of it.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
The last thing I'll say about winter and then its
defense is that I think that there's some things that
can be debunked as summer things. All right, all all
you really need for some good barbecue.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I knew you were gonna mention a barbecue. I knew
you was. Don't mention a barbequee.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
Is to know how to barbecue and to have the ingredients.
You don't actually need sun to barbecue.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Do you want to sit out? So you're saying, okay, okay, okay.
I think the act of barbecuing and having a barbecue
are two different things. Okay, you can cook meat on
a grill, yeah, year round, but having a bunch of
(41:42):
people come over to your house to enjoy grilled meats
is easier. I've been to barbecues in the winter time
and they don't hit the same now barbecue in the
fall early, where like when it comes nighttime and there's
just like that, it's like crisp in the air, somebody
(42:05):
will start a fire or something like that that I
can fux with, right, okay, Because a barbecue is something
that goes all day and everybody knows the temperature drops
at night regardless most of the time. So a barbecue
when it's cold, it's like, bro, it was already cold
(42:25):
when the sun was out. Now you want me to
hold this chicken leg when it's even colder. So you're saying,
I understand eating barbecue and eating indoors in the winter time. Yeah,
but standing outside eating potato salad, I'm not doing it.
It's too cold.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
But it's not about it's not about being outside for me.
For me, sometimes the outside is to the detriment of
the barbecue. Sometimes it's so hot that I'm actually not
having fun at this barbecue waiting for the meat to cook.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
There's a time and place used to be in your house,
and there's a time and place to be in these streets.
And I know we're coming to the time in this
trash ass city where it's gonna be a lot up
in the house. And that's why I got a knitting machine,
(43:21):
because that's why Josh Johnson's finished. I'll be out here
in a nice beanie and a fresh pair of mittens.
So do you want the poof at the top, Because
I can make it. I can make it where it's
like a real cool guy beanie where there's no little
kid poof at the top, or we can have you
out here being poof Johnson.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
I mean I would, I would honestly take the no poof.
And I don't know if this is too much to ask,
but can the inner lining be satin?
Speaker 1 (43:48):
I will figure that out for you, friend, because I.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Because then if it's already satin in the oof, I'm
wearing it like every day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
I'll figure that out. I'll figure that out. I'll figure
out how to make that happen for you, because I
need to make that happen for me. And I don't
care if I gotta buy a bonnet it's so it inside,
because that might be the easiest way to do it.
(44:18):
It just gets the biggest size satin bonnets and sew
them inside these heads.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Look, we want to kick it to you, the listener.
Tell us what you think, because this is the first
episode where I can confidently say that there is going
to be a Part two extension, because once we get
to beach houses versus cabins, that's that's the in my mind,
the continuation. We're doing like a mountain cabin.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Beach versus mountains, all the things you can do with
that their beach versus the things you do. Listen, I've
been say.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
I described it with hat in your heart. I understand
your bias are of course, this is the verse.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
It's fine, it's fine. You know. I said my fig
like you were crazy. I said my thing like, oh,
you know, beach houses or the beach or and then
you you had the inflection. I heard it. You had
the inflection in there like whatever you do.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
You know, I'm all about expression. Okay, you know, I
am all about telling and like it is. But yeah,
so we'll kick it over to the listener. Because if
you have been keeping score, johnsh is wrong a lot.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
First of all. First of all, first of all, check yourself,
all right, check check yourself, be check myself. You check.
You should blue check yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
That's another one usual blue. I should be verified because
what you tell me, because I'm so wrong, I'm so
inappropriate for what I'm doing right now that I need
to get blue jacked.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Yeah. Yeah, because here's the thing. Yeah, sometimes sometimes you win,
even I can admit it, all right, But sometimes it's
real close, all right, it's it's very close, and then
you still take a w like it's just old to you,
like you just know it for sure, and it's not.
It's not always that. I feel like I'm pretty gracious
(46:27):
when I'm right, you know, I feel like I'm I
feel like I don't even bring it up really, you know.
And then and then sometimes what have you been right?
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Givey wants that?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
I think I was pretty right for staycation versus vacation.
I think I think I was on point. I think
I came with facts. I think I came with figures
and figurines.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
All right, you know what, I'm so happy about it.
Now you're just trying to start to sound like me,
and yeah, yeah, it's just ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
And the last thing I'll say about this, because we're
gonna we're gonna do this extra episode to extend it.
So if you don't even have an opinion yet and
you really want to be swayed, you can.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Let me know that.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
You can let me know, Hey, Josh, you you did
your best, but you're really gonna have to bring it
in the next one because I'm leaning towards summer. I understand,
all right, But the last thing I'll say about summer
versus winter is. Summer is about a lot of payoff.
You know, you're out in the world. You're getting to
see your friends, go on vacation, stuff like that. The winter,
the wintertime is about the grind, all right. It's about
(47:36):
staying home. It's about staying home. It's about no days off,
it's about doing. It's about doing what the other people
don't see because you're inside grinding. Okay, I was.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
I was in La.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
I was talking to some friends while I was in La,
and I was telling them about the grind, you know,
And I was telling them about the no days off,
and it's like, look, you need to work until you
can't work anymore. And if you have a heart attack,
that means your heart was a quitter and it couldn't
grind hard enough. All right, So stay warm, stay grinding,
(48:14):
and stay winny. Okay. You if you want to be
a summertime bug, I get that too, all right. I
get I get you want to flap your wings and
fly and go all the places and stuff. But if
you really care about the grind, that's a wintertime thing.
The winter isn't always fun. Sometimes it's hard, and you
need hard to grind you into the diamond that you
(48:36):
are when it's cold outside, you want to be a
frozen diamond or you want to be a like warm, warm,
little bikini top. You know what I'm saying, Like, what
do you really want to your life? Okay?
Speaker 3 (48:50):
I hate you?
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Just this has been holed up, which you've never fully
explained the entire title of the show because it's hold up, sure,
but really it's hold up? Are you grinding? Okay? Hold up?
Are you trying to take your life to the next level?
Speaker 1 (49:15):
Josh? Josh, Ladies and gentlemen, hev.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
They I'm doing my best out here to bring you
the great points and the way in which you can
elevate your life. Okay. All you need to do to
get the rest of the blueprint is by my book.
It's on Amazon right now, self published because I'll really
(49:41):
work with publishers because I'm on to grind. Okay did
they tell me no? Sure, but they also missed out
on opportunity to grind with me all the way up.
So give us your summertime wintertime thoughts. All right, put
your grinds on social where we could see a comment
(50:02):
on any hold up content that you see on the
Daily show pages. They're gonna be on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter,
We're grinding all day. It's on every platform. If we're
not on that platform, that means that platform really didn't
popping like that.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
And if you can find it in your heart to
send Joshson message to let him know he's a fucking miscreant.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
At least miscreated.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Okay, listen by Josh Joseph's book, Grind That You Die.
I wrote the forward for it because he wouldn't stop
calling me. And let's just it's illegal in fifteen states,
so just because the.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
Fifteen stints aren't motivated, Okay.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
And he also believes in child labor, so which I
don't wholly disagree with.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Look, let the kids grind, hey man, Not every kid's
going to college, bro, Let the kids work.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Not every kids going to college. Do they need to
be in a factory at the age of nine. No,
but put some hot but a man, put some step
ladders here, these coffee making machines and the Starbucks and
get these kids. I'm so not one hundred percent serious.
I'm just saying I've been working since I was nine
(51:28):
years old. And look at me, m h, look at me.
Look at this grind I'm doing okay. Yeah, my mama
hasn't worked since twenty eighteen because I've been working on you.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
Yeah, see get the Flint administration. Okay, because I've been
I've been grinding, all right. I've been grinding since I
was four years old. And what do I have to
show for only two loans?
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Okay, ladies and jentlemen, thank you so much for listening
to Hold Up. Josh Johnson doesn't really have a book.
Please don't go looking for it on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
You will end up buying someone else's book.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
And yes, grind till you die. I promise you you
can find it. So listen to hold Up. Go see
me and Josh Johnson in the places that we're gonna
be follow us on social media's I guess we have
to tell you. It's Dual Say Sloan at dul Say
Sloan on all of the social platforms, including Tumblr, if
(52:23):
that's even still around. Do you have a Geocity's website?
If you do keep it, it's probably going to be
the last part of the Internet when all this falls apart.
Josh Jedediah Johnson.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Oh yeah, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy
on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, and at Josh Johnson on Twitter.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
We Love You, The Lord Loves You, and call your Mama.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcast. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Central and stream pull episodes anytime on Faaramount Plus.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
This has been a Comedy Central podcastow
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to hold up. I'm your co host, Josh shatts
of a writer for the Daily Show, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Joined bye me dull, stay sloan, and I did not
want to. I'll say this sometimes as someone who hold on,
hold on. I'll say this sometimes as someone who is
(00:37):
in the public eye right and who is a performer.
People will make requests of you m hm when it
comes to how you express yourself. If you are a
fan of a comedian or performer, mainly comedian, and you
want to d m them, message them, come up to
(00:59):
them after a show and give them a joke, give
them notes, tell them about what you think you should
they should change. Shut the fuck up, put something in
your mouth. I don't care what it is, and go away.
You are the worst person because you are not a fan.
(01:24):
I don't need your notes. I don't need you. None
of us need your notes. None of us are going
to tell your bar joke to anybody. And don't get
offended when you ask us, can I tell you a joke?
And we say no, We write our own material. We
don't need you. Also, if you were dating a comedian,
you are not that interested the number of dudes that
(01:47):
I've talked to us like, don't put this in your act.
Don't worry I won't. You're either annoyed that I did
put it in or annoy or you're annoyed that I
might put something in, or nor that I won't put
something in. And my favorite is because we've told men
they're funny, because that's what the ugly men have to
go off of, or even men want to be interesting, right,
(02:07):
so we've told men that they're funny. That's why we
have this thing about women not being funny. The number
of men I've had to say to me, I bet
I'm funnier than most of your friends, sir. My friends
have comedy specials. My friends have comedy specials, albums, tours.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I feel like this, it would be funny to do this.
This episode is don't say versus the dia ops.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I can say I'm very annoyed by the amount
of respect that I get in my DMS. There's never
a man trying to holler at me in my DMS.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Ever, there's always some annoying woman.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
One good thing that has been happening is I've been
getting lots of pitches in my DM for potential episodes,
and I think you're gonna like a couple of them,
a couple of them.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
No one's sending me anything for pretent I would love
that one.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I got a bunch of good ones, and so we're
gonna have to start doing shout outs like on the
specific person that's like, hey, we thank you so much
to the person, because I feel like some of them
were so specific that I was like, Yeah, this is
this is great.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh man, I cannot wait to hear. But what are
some of the ones that we're never gonna do.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I mean, I I don't see us doing DC versus Marvel. No,
one's not really gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
No, no, Uh, could don't know enough about either Camp,
don't know who's who. I don't know where spider Man stay.
I don't know where Batman live. Also, Michael Keaton is
the only Batman I care about.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
That's a hot take, bro, That's wow. Before we get
into like a bad, bad debate, let's tell the people
what this episode is about today is one that's actually
very close to our hearts.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Very close to my heart, am my titties.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
See see what I mean? Though about the like like
I you know, I sort of said a thing and
then you sang a thing you felt, you know, like
you were gonna stunt on me in my face.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I'm not trying to stunt. I'm just trying to live
my best life. Listen, I got these nails done. Okay,
I have the nails of the woman, like I said
on Instagram are the nails of the woman in Dolly
Park and warned us about. Okay, and Joline, Joline, you
get it?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, no, no, look I Joline, so whoutn't you?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Joline? Listen, I didn't have a proper warm up, so
that Joe Listen, I'm gonna have to come back up
to that as well episode after I've had a proper
warm up because I just embarrassed myself.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
You know, I'm doing great, And tell the people what
this episode is about, and then tell them where you stand.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
This episode is about a conversation that I have on
a regular basis and a war that I have been
waging since I was a wee girl. And the topic
of today's episode is as if you didn't read it
on the caption, but but all of you who did not,
(05:39):
it is summer versus winter.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Be I know versus in Vietnam? Do I know how
to say versus and Spanish? No, it's probably versus. I
don't know. No one's ever asked me. What I'm saying
is summertime versus winter time? And since we know that
Josh has a tendency to be wrong, WHOA what side
(06:04):
are you for? Josh?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
What time I'm for? Winter?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Wrong? Wrong?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
What are you wrong?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
You are? You are wrong? You're absolutely categorically in core
fucking wreted. And I will tell you all of the
ways right after this and we're back listen, Josh, I
(06:36):
can say, in the history of us doing this podcast,
I never really let you fully get your points out
mm hmm before I stopped them out of existence.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You know.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
So I want you, I want to give you a
chance on this good Christian morning, Josh, unless you go
ahead and tell us why you live.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
This life. Okay. So, I think that this time we're
that we're in right now in the month, is the
perfect time to talk about this because right now we're
in fall. We're in an equal split between the two. Okay.
You know, we still have memories of summer and we
still have a winter to look forward to. And for me,
(07:27):
I think that winter is just the coziest.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
You're inside, you're snuggled up, you're eating some good, some good,
hearty food that's warm. You can't have that during the summer,
all right. If someone made you like a nice, thick,
full stew, you don't want that in the summer. You
can't eat it. It's too hot outside. You don't want
hot in your mouth. Okay. You can't be snuggled up
(07:55):
under quilts all sorts of covers and comforters. You can't
be under blankets in the summer, all right, snuggled up
with a good book. Yeah, maybe outside while you're roasting mhmm.
But in the winter, you're inside, maybe next to a fireplace, right,
all all cozied up with a honey bun, you know,
(08:19):
literal or figurative, depending where you.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
You got a honey bunch. You cuddling up with Josh
Josh out here referencing cuffing season. You, Josh Johnson, celebrate
cuffing season.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Wow, I'm not saying celebrate cuffing. I'm just saying, if
you're with somebody, it's nice to be with somebody when
it's cold outside. You can snuggle up warm each other.
You know, I will say the other thing that's really great.
It's like any any inside activity for a homebody is
only elevated in the winter because now there there's no
(09:00):
guilt about not going out and outside your window depends
on where you live, you get to see the beautiful
trenk will snow.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Fall, all right.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
There's there's something about there's something about snow on the
horizon that's just peaceful and beautiful. Okay. Winter comes with
a lot of good foods, it comes with a ton
of the indoor activities. If you're a if you're an introvert,
winter reign supreme. Get to wear mittens. Tell me you
(09:31):
don't love.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Mittens, No, nigga, I'm not six years old.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Mittens are superior. All right. I'm tired of this thing where,
you know, as a black man, I gotta be so tough.
I gotta act like I love mittens. All right. I
wish I had them all.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Right now, listen, no one's asking you to be tough.
Don't wow what.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Oh you know what a what is? Oh? Wow?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
The nerve?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
What you know?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
What? What is?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I'm just saying, no one's asking Josh Ezekiel Johnson to
throw hands. No one's asking you to do that.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I'm not even saying throw hands. I'm saying be tough.
I'm saying that sometimes in life, especially as a man,
you're expected to be a certain level of tough where
you don't even like stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Okay, there are at mittens.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Mitten.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
First of all, you don't buy many of them. Okay,
A lot of them are gifted to you by grandmothers,
women in your life that are of a certain age
that love to knit. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
I hear you. Listen. I disagree with everything you just said.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
But.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Listen, I wear my best summertime dress because I'm trying
to keep hope alive. Nice. This is uh, this is
a dress. Whenever I wear it on stage is to
let white people know that I have white friends. Are
they sleep? Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, the sleeves, the sleeves scream yeah. You know. I
didn't enjoy Midsummer, but I watched it, you know, to
support the white community.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Midsummer Night's Dream? What do we?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Oh? No, no, the horror movie Midsummer That.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I don't watch horror movies. It's hard enough out here, dog,
I don't need my brain attacking me anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That that's what I'm saying. It says that I'm not
saying you did that.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Oh yeah, this dress definitely I support. Yes, this dress
definitely said yes, I'll have a beer, you know, as
it is just I don't drinking. I pah disgusting, right.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yeah, I called them ias for the longest.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No one corrected you.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No one corrected me for like a while.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yo, that's not even Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, I worked at Trailer Joe's.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
You worked to Trader Joe's.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's where they're Yeah. I worked Joe's for years.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh I know, you worked to Trader Jos for years.
What I'm saying is that the fact that you worked
at a Trader Joe's where I pas live. Yeah, and
no one took the time to pull a young man.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Aside and was like stop saying.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
How did you find out?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I eventually said it out louder for somebody. Yeah, I
was just I was like living in ignorance. But it
never came up because in your.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Defense, they put an S on the end, but the
S is little. Also, I don't know what the letters.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Mean, uh Indian pale alere do.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
We mean like Native American Oh.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I have no idea. I just I just know that
that when it's spelled out, that's what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
There is there is there a beer making history among
the Native Americans or the people of India.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I have no idea. Yeah, I mean I didn't understand
it even when it was explained to me. I wished
that Ipa was right.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I mean, at the end of the day, they're still nasty. Yeah.
I think you have to really be a white man
to enjoy them. I truly think they're tuned perfectly mm
hmm to that palette mm hmmm, because I've never seen
(13:52):
anyone who wasn't one.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah. Yeah, I don't drink, So I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh, I always forget you nine, never forget you don't drink.
I'm always like Josh, I love imagining you at like
a college party, just being like I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Oh yeah, no, I was standing there.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Good lord, I can't say I don't. I don't not drink.
Some of my friends was like, one of my friends
was like, have you considered not like stopping drinking, And
I was like, I don't drink enough to stop drinking,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I feel like I've only ever seen you have a
drink twice and I've known you for years.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, I don't drink. I don't drink all the time,
and if I do drink, I'll have one or two.
I don't like being drunk.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Now, I guess I'll ask you this. Then, since you're
on the side of summer, hell, do you still drink
the same things in the summer as you do in
the winter.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I do the same thing year round, year round. Okay,
So I enjoy sold you year round. I enjoy a
whiskey and soda, tequila soda year round. If I am
going to go for a fruity bevarrage, your coladas, your Jackeries,
(15:05):
your Marguerite's, it is usually warm outside, Okay, I would
now if there is now, I will have a margherita
year round, if there is caso.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Wow, Okay, that first of all, that makes perfect sense.
I used to work at a Mexican restaurant, and that
makes perfect sense. But also would not have if you
had not said anything. Paired them together.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
In my mind, you gotta margarit if you're eating case
you got.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like that
makes so much sense, and looking back on when I would,
you know, do the orders and when I was serving yep,
but also never put it together until just now.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Oh yeah, because you need the acidity to bust up
all that cheese, but then you need the cheese to
help regulate the acidity.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I want you to have your own cooking show because
bust up is oh an incredible way to describe it.
Bust up.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well, the thing is you can't and you usually can't
get I did not realize this until I left the South.
But you can't get white kso out of like a couple.
So others like, would you leave?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Also, I recently bought a knitting machine and now I'm
out here making beanies. Scarf, Josh, what colored beanie you want,
baby boy? I got a red color coming up. Listen,
I've seen you in a beanie.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Now look look, look, I will take a red beanie.
But if you could make me some red mittens, hey
out here all right?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So you're saying, if I can get you red mittens
to go at this red beanie, you would wear them.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I would. I would not just wear them, I would
sport them. There'd be Instagram posts, there'd be a lot
going on mittens and a matching beanie. I don't think
I've had that in life.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Now do you when you want your beanie, do you
want the little like faux fur little poof on the top.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
What's the poof?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Do?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I guess?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
At decoration I got sixty of them, so if you
want one.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
A kid once told me that it breaks up the wind,
and I was like, I don't see how that's possible.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I don't think. But maybe wind breakers don't even break
up the wind. Wind breakers just hold wind. Yeah, wind
breakers should be called wind catchers.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
But I get what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Then.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, it's like a lot of what you prefer happens
during the summertime.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Right. Also, it's like I don't like being hot indoors,
and I don't like being cold outside, right, Okay. Also
I enjoy sitting outside. You know, I've got a nice
terrace about. It's like, I enjoy sitting outside. I have
patio furniture, right, and it is much easier to sit outside.
(18:00):
You know, you're talking about reading your books people who
are like introverts and such. I mean, I think introverts
do the same thing year round, because they just do
what they do. But if you're going to sit up
and enjoy a nice like like a couple of weeks ago,
I was sitting on my terrace because on the top floor,
so like I can see, like you know, the sky
is so big. Sit down there on my patio furniture
(18:23):
reading the book. And if it's thirty degrees outside, you're
not gonna enjoy sitting outside reading shit because you're you're
dabbing an eye, you're dabbing a nose, your finger, you
can't fit your fingers to turn the pages. Right.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Also, I'm a beach person.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
All right, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
So, oh, should we have to do an episode about
beaches versus mountains like vacations?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Down for that because I have so many thoughts and
feelings about that situation, because we have to admit, like
a beach, it's like a summertime vaca the mountains lost month,
hogyas there's really a winter time gig, right, like going
to the mountains in the summer. It's like, girl, for who?
For why? Who asked for those?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Absolutely? For absolutely, we don't have to. We don't have to.
It's fine, it's fine, but yeah, but I'll tell you
why you wrong later?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Okay, sure, all right, So like I'm a team summer
because it's you're out and about, you're seeing people. It's
just the ability to It doesn't even have to be
like a big trip like you go on the day trips.
You could just be in a park. You could just
sit in a park and enjoy your day. You can
(19:41):
have a couple of nibbles, you know, a couple of nibbles,
maybe some Boobli, maybe some epas, whatever you and like
enjoying when you're out enjoying a nice day. You can
just do that. It's easier to do things and just
getting groceries is easier summertime. Getting doing laundry is easier.
(20:03):
Just running an erran is easier in the summertime because
you're not out here looking like the kid from a
Christmas story.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
This is I understand where you're coming from, because a
lot of the things that you're saying makes sense for you.
As long as I've known you, all these things have
been have been true. So I get why you lean
towards summer. But there are just certain things that hey,
you're not having hot chocolate when it's hot out, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Okay, that's a beverage. I'm talking about sitting in the park.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, no, no, no, Still I still say there are plenty
of activities that you can go do in the winter.
There's a whole Winter Olympics for people that love the winter.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
All right, okay, but what about if you live somewhere
that gets cold mm hmm but doesn't always snow, like Atlanta,
for instance. People do not know because somebody gave Atlanta
to some white people in a fucking building, gave Atlanta
this nickname of Hotlanta, and people think that it's hot
(21:04):
year round, which is not true, and Atlanta will get
down on the teens.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I thought it was called hot Lanta because of the people.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
No, that was marketing bullshit.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Wow, okay, because when it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Came out, we all went the fuck we didn't vote
for this, and they put it on everything. Yeah, and
now every corny ass person I've ever met it's like, so,
you're from Hotlanta. No, bitch, I'm not. I'm not from
a marketing campaign. None of us enjoy all of us
saw it, and we're like, this is gonna be a
(21:39):
fucking problem. Like no one's running around like New York,
but no New Yorker is like, yeah, I'm from the
Big Apple. Like, no one's doing this, no one is
doing that. I'm not running around them calling the peach safe.
I think for me, the things that I enjoyed doing
the most are during my favorite season, so because I
enjoy it out aquatic activity. Right, you can't be in
(22:03):
nobody's swimming pool when it's forty degrees outside, when your
pool is probably frozen somewhat. It's cold as shit. Yeah,
cold enough to kill you.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
This is this one. It's important to have friends with
indoor pools.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, sure, that's long as I could do a lot
of hotels like up North, a lot of them I
have indoor pools or heated pool So it's like, I
can't say. This summer summer of twenty twenty two, I
kept seeing it on Instagram. It was like, yo, this
summer left like it had.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Somewhere to be it did.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I thought it was just me. I looked up and
was like, bitch, is this September?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Yeah, well it was not very quick, and I thought
it was just your girl. But everyone else looked up
and I'm like, oh, fuck about wearing a jacket. It
was it's been and she's she flew the fucking coop
shit bills to pay.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
And she was upset before she left because those were
some heat waves.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
I couldn't even say outside it was hot, because I
was like, I love sitting out doors, but also I
know that New York is hot? Wrong, what do you mean?
I was talking to Telle late about this and he
completely understood.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Okay, listen, So uh huh.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
First of all, it's building hot, It's not nature hot, right, Okay, So,
like I remember a couple years ago, I was supposed
to do this thing called Ausie Fest and they canceled
it because of the heat. And I called my mother,
who grew up in Miami. It is the most of
(23:38):
her adult life in the Great State of Georgia, as
you can see on my Nicholas, and so I was like, Mommy,
they canceled this comedy show because of a heatwave. She said, girl,
how hot was it? One hundred and five? One hundred,
one hundred and five? How hot was it? I said, Mommy,
(24:00):
it was gonna be ninety four degrees and we laughed
for ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, Because in the South, we would have whole outdoor festivals,
whole fucking barbecues and it'd be ninety four degrees outside.
Why because it's nature hot. And we got enough watermelon
out here to keep everybody alive. Okay, sit that baby
in the shade, Come get some of these ribs. We're
gonna have a good day. Okay. We got enough cold
joints out here, enough coke and that is any carminated beverage.
(24:29):
We got enough water, We got enough, We got enough.
We got sweet tea out here to keep everybody the
fuck alive. You remember, right, you grew up in Louisiana
and up here first of all the number of places
that do not have air conditioning because they love to
call the self ignorant, but we have figured out HVAC.
(24:51):
They want to call us all kind of backwards and
barefoot and stupid or whatever, these Yankee bastards, But we
have figured out how to cool a home.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
The fact that my other apartment I had to have
a window unit as a grown adult, and I couldn't
control and I couldn't control my heat came on, which
was also truly fucking disrespectful. I'll pay you American dollars
with a comma in the bitch. Yeah, I got a
whole apartment, and my heat just come on when you
(25:22):
say so. So now I'm just in here, wearing the
least time to figure out to take my fucking skin
off because it's hotter, and a bitch in here because somebody,
because you know, Dino, doesn't turn the fucking heat on.
I ain't ask nobody. So I'm a summertime gal because
(25:42):
your best family get togethers out here in this summer
time right. Also, my birthday is the ultimate summertime gig. Yeah,
my birthday is July fourth. Wait, Josh, when's your birthday?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
March sixth? That I don't know. I don't really bring
it up.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
White a man and white a man at white a minute, Josh,
Jebediah Johnson, how dare Ah?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah, I just I just let it, you know what
I mean. I think that for me, I truly understand
what you're saying. I'm not saying summer doesn't have a
lot of amazing merits to it. My con with summer
is the heat waves. And you're saying that New York
is hot wrong, But isn't California having the same sort
(26:32):
of concrete heat issue.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
California, first of all, is a desert. That's the main thing.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, they don't have water.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, And I mean the thing is they put that there,
which is very confusing that they even did that.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah. I think at the time it was cheap land
and so then they built there.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Oh that makes sense. I mean it's not probably the best, No,
it's not.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
It's not a great idea long term.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
So, like, I've lived during the heat. This is the
weird thing about being in an La in a heat wave.
There was one day where it was one hundred and
eight degrees and then the sun went down and it
was seventy degrees yeah, and I was like, how do
you not catch your death in this pitch? Because I've
been in Georgia and it's been ninety two degrees at
(27:20):
two o'clock in the morning. The sun hasn't been out
for hours and it's still not in the nineties.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Yeah, but the temp has sense enough to regulate right the.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Time by since that doesn't regulate, so like LA bounces around.
Because that was the weird thing. When I first moved there,
I was like, okay, you know it's it's it's eighty
five degrees out here, we all here looking cute, and
then at nighttime, it'll be sixty five. I was like, oh,
that's why everybody in this pitch always has a jacket
with them.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah. Yeah, it's very confusing.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
And then when you get there, you're like, oh, I
get it. So that's why everyone's closed out here. Don't
make any sense? Yeah, because once the sun goes down,
you don't know what the hell temperature it's going to be.
But it's like, your most fun activities are in the summertime. Also,
and I hate super Also, you enjoy snowboarding, you enjoy
(28:10):
to boggining, you enjoy skiing.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
It's not about snowboarding or skiing, all right, It's about
having like a nice nature walk in the winter. If
I'm in the woods.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
It's thirty degrees outside, go inside. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
People act like you can't gear up for the winter.
You could be so comfortable if you just gear up
for the for the temperature in a heat wave that
you can't take off the skin, You can take off everything,
but you be naked and still hot. All right, But
in winter, you gear up enough and you're just comfortable.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Until you go inside somewhere and then you're sweating your
life away because that's The other thing about the winter.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Time is that, oh okay, all right. The other thing
about the winter time is.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
It's so hot indoors because I think now everybody's fucking
everybody's out regulating this ship, right, right, So like I
got on this sweat because like that's why I learned
to where winter on the outside and summer on the inside.
Because you'll see somebody have like a full thick ass whatever.
(29:40):
A cable knit is what the kids SAYI ass cable
nit sweater, right, and they look cozy. Yeah, but now
they've come inside a building.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
In the building, it's set to hell. Right. I've been
inside of bars that was too hot. When I was
a minute in Indiana over the weekend. Everywhere we went
inside was too warm. It was too warm. It wasn't
cold enough outside for as warm as it was inside. Right.
And so because the jacket that I brought was to
(30:15):
the coat that I brought a coat, I should have
brought a jacket. Right in New York, you're like, okay,
light jacket, jacket, coat cool. So it's like there's these
levels where it's just like you know, they all got
a jacket. I got a light jacket, right, I'm running around,
but da da da da da dada. Okay, let me
let me get a coat. Okay, now, let me call
(30:39):
north Face, let me get goose down involved. Okay, I
had to bring animals as reinforcement because I fucking freezing.
I mean, you know, you've seen my coats. They're they're warm,
They're very much warm. But so it's like you have
to have so many there's hats and scarves and boots
and gloves, and then then you gotta have salt for
(31:00):
the snow because like this is the thing I will
give you. This snow is pretty mm hmm the first
two days, and then it needs to go the fuck on.
Snow needs to find it, Snow needs to know. Snow
doesn't know when to leave.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Snow doesn't know when to leave.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Okay, snow show up. They'd be like, hey, y'all, the
first snow is very cute. It's nice, it's cute, it's quiet. Yeah,
you know, but too much snow shut your fucking city down. Okay.
Remember the bomb cyclone that hit New York at twenty eighteen,
(31:45):
because this was.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Not that crazy. If it was a bomb cyclone, why.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Did they call it a bomb cyclone? If it wasn't so.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Crazy because they were getting too hyped.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
It was just a fucking blizzard. We already had a
word for a bunch of snow showing the fuck up that.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's kind of where I was. Where I was like,
I heard bomb cyclone even I was like, a, this
may be too much snow, like maybe maybe we're in
for it, right, But then it hit and it maybe
it's because I lived in Chicago for a while, but
it hits and it wasn't like all that wild to.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Your barometer is different Chicago.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Chicago is egregious, like Chicago. They called it Shiberia that
one year because the lake almost froze over.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
That's a big ass leake.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
It's a huge lake. And then isn't that see the
sky view You see how far out of the shoreline
that it froze. And I was like, oh, yes, this
is this is actually too cold?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Is that lake Michigan? Uh, let's see which lake is
that you lived there for years and don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I wasn't really paying attention, negro. Let me see one second,
one second, hold on, I can look it up in
a moment. Not a huge deal. Nobody freak out, No,
what's freaking out?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I'm just saying it.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Everybody calmed down.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeahs Lake Michigan.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah, Lake Michigan.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Why do you not know that?
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Because you know it's a it's a great lake. So
I would just say the great lake.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
You would just not pick at the lake.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I just would pick the lake. I'd be like, you know,
a great lake right over there.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Because there's Lake Michigan. There's Eerie, there's Huron. Mm uh.
Which what's what's what's the superior? Which I think is
you know, being just a little full of yourself. What's
this other bitch called Ontario?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
You never met him? You never met him. Maybe it
is superior.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Maybe it is, maybe it ain't. I don't know. I
don't work here. What I'm saying is Chicago is the
fact that you even survived. Like one of my friends,
who's a thin man, moved to Chicago a couple of
years ago, and I was really worried about him. I
was like, you're gonna have to get ankle weights. It
was like, why, I said, because the wind has a name,
(34:12):
You're gonna get blown down the street like tumbleweed. So
you're Nigerian not made for this. You're not made for
that we're not even supposed to be here. Like you
know the joke that I have on my half hour
I talk about like black people were not supposed to
be here, m h. Because we're not supposed to fucking
be here. Bro, this ain't this, ain't this ain't snow hair.
(34:33):
That's why I don't trust these Yankee niggas, because they'd
be out here like yo, I fuck with snow like no, no, no,
just to get your jeans. Nigga, this doesn't make no sense.
You can't trust these Yankees. You cannot trust these snow niggas.
You can't. No, It's beautiful for two days and then
it shuts your fight. Snow is great and then you
(34:56):
know what happens in New York. This is what happens
in New York. You just watch the layers of snow
and just the amount of dog shit that shows up
all this other like you're just watching trash show up.
Is what happens when snow melts in New York. Okay,
dirty snow, yellow stoke, just ice just to snow. Like
(35:16):
That's why I was when that bomb cyclone hit. I
was like, this is a blizzard. Why are we not
calling this a blizzard. This is just a bunch of
fucking snow. Yes, I'm fully aware that summertime maybe the
time of the hurricane. I'm aware the hurricane season starts
(35:37):
in August.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
And runs until about what October. Remember, look so technically
fall it could be fallse fault. I'm not stressing. I'm
not stressing that summer is hurricane season or anything. All
I'm saying is that the heat wave. I'd be interested
in what kills more people? Is that the heat wave
(36:00):
or is it the potential blizzards?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
And I can tell you that in a lot of
states you are not allowed to cut people's gas or
power off in the wintertime. It was funny. I used
to work with this power company in Florida years ago
and there was a big freeze that happened in Florida.
Remember the year we didn't have any tomatoes, like every
(36:24):
like fast with the places like we got a tomatoes.
There's a big freeze in Florida. The price of oranges
shot up, and the prices in tomatoes were fucking gone.
The price of orange just shot the fuck up because
it was a huge freeze in Florida. And like I
the last time there was a big freeze in Florida.
I was living in Florida, and to see people in
Miami who have never felt forty degrees have to deal
(36:46):
with forty degrees was a wild thing. But you're not
allowed to cut people's So people were calling and like, hey,
you're not allowed to turn my power off. It's the
wintertime and it's freezing. And I was like, well, ma'am,
technically that's not a law in your state, I say,
because it's never been cold enough to pass that law.
(37:07):
So it's not.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Enough to kill you, right, we're.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Turning your lights off. Your lights are already off. I'll try,
but technically this law is not apply to you because
you don't live in Detroit. Concrete hot. It's a different
kind of hot. Also, there's no trees to absorb like
city hots. Different there's no trees to absorb any heat.
(37:34):
There's no real wind coming through nature to alleviate any
of it. Like all the wind that you get in
New York in the fall in the wintertime is wind
that you needed in the summer, Okay, to give some relief.
That's how you know. It's just we're not supposed to
(37:55):
be here, like, honestly, we throw all these buildings up,
made everything fucking hot. Like I remember as a kid
watching David Letterman and when I would see the joke like, oh,
it's hot enough to cook a egg on the sidewalk,
And then David Medelan was like what I'd say, it
was like the nineties, any little loop put an egg
on sidewalk and it was like sunnyside up.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
And I was like, this is this is clearly a
bad place.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Then clearly you're literally making breakfast on concrete, Like this
ship is not great. She should throw some home fries
next to that bitch. So it's summertime here is different
than summertime other places, because it's like it's just not.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Right, like all of your like just being I mean,
the humidity for me in Louisiana during the summer was
what killed me.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
It was like, that's because you always have pants and
long sleeve shirts on, probably.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Even when I was just like when I was young
and I wore shorts even then.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
It was so ugly the things I just made. Did
you see that? Like it just a mes hard.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I was looking down. I didn't see you at all.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
It was just your This man said what I wore sure.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Back in those days when I wore shorts, it was
just it was still like walking through hot water.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
The humidity in Louisiana is a different is a different boost.
It's a difference to Joasha. That's that's a different campaign.
Because the humidity in Miami, I'm fully aware of, will
just really I don't care how many Dominicans you go
to that blowout if you don't get it in that state.
(40:00):
I've took an Atlanta blowout to Miami and it did
not make it. My hair swollen up like one of
those fucking magic washcloths. Oh good girl, hair is done, though.
You got to get your hair done in that humidity
to fight that humidity. But the thing is when you
(40:20):
live somewhere as humid, your skin ooh mm hmm. Beach,
because that's what fucked me up. When I moved to
La it was so dry, and I grew up in
places with humanity. I had scabs on my face.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah, yeah, I will say here during the winter, it
does get extra.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Dry, oh all of the things you applied to your face.
But it was also really dry on a lake. Because
I remember talking to one of my friends and she
just looked at me. She was like, bitches ass, like
everything's dry at all of it.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
The last thing I'll say about winter and then its
defense is that I think that there's some things that
can be debunked as summer things. All right, all all
you really need for some good barbecue.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I knew you were gonna mention a barbecue. I knew
you was. Don't mention a barbequee.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
Is to know how to barbecue and to have the ingredients.
You don't actually need sun to barbecue.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Do you want to sit out? So you're saying, okay, okay, okay.
I think the act of barbecuing and having a barbecue
are two different things. Okay, you can cook meat on
a grill, yeah, year round, but having a bunch of
(41:42):
people come over to your house to enjoy grilled meats
is easier. I've been to barbecues in the winter time
and they don't hit the same now barbecue in the
fall early, where like when it comes nighttime and there's
just like that, it's like crisp in the air, somebody
(42:05):
will start a fire or something like that that I
can fux with, right, okay, Because a barbecue is something
that goes all day and everybody knows the temperature drops
at night regardless most of the time. So a barbecue
when it's cold, it's like, bro, it was already cold
(42:25):
when the sun was out. Now you want me to
hold this chicken leg when it's even colder. So you're saying,
I understand eating barbecue and eating indoors in the winter time. Yeah,
but standing outside eating potato salad, I'm not doing it.
It's too cold.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
But it's not about it's not about being outside for me.
For me, sometimes the outside is to the detriment of
the barbecue. Sometimes it's so hot that I'm actually not
having fun at this barbecue waiting for the meat to cook.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
There's a time and place used to be in your house,
and there's a time and place to be in these streets.
And I know we're coming to the time in this
trash ass city where it's gonna be a lot up
in the house. And that's why I got a knitting machine,
(43:21):
because that's why Josh Johnson's finished. I'll be out here
in a nice beanie and a fresh pair of mittens.
So do you want the poof at the top, Because
I can make it. I can make it where it's
like a real cool guy beanie where there's no little
kid poof at the top, or we can have you
out here being poof Johnson.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
I mean I would, I would honestly take the no poof.
And I don't know if this is too much to ask,
but can the inner lining be satin?
Speaker 1 (43:48):
I will figure that out for you, friend, because I.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Because then if it's already satin in the oof, I'm
wearing it like every day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
I'll figure that out. I'll figure that out. I'll figure
out how to make that happen for you, because I
need to make that happen for me. And I don't
care if I gotta buy a bonnet it's so it inside,
because that might be the easiest way to do it.
(44:18):
It just gets the biggest size satin bonnets and sew
them inside these heads.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Look, we want to kick it to you, the listener.
Tell us what you think, because this is the first
episode where I can confidently say that there is going
to be a Part two extension, because once we get
to beach houses versus cabins, that's that's the in my mind,
the continuation. We're doing like a mountain cabin.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Beach versus mountains, all the things you can do with
that their beach versus the things you do. Listen, I've
been say.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
I described it with hat in your heart. I understand
your bias are of course, this is the verse.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
It's fine, it's fine. You know. I said my fig
like you were crazy. I said my thing like, oh,
you know, beach houses or the beach or and then
you you had the inflection. I heard it. You had
the inflection in there like whatever you do.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
You know, I'm all about expression. Okay, you know, I
am all about telling and like it is. But yeah,
so we'll kick it over to the listener. Because if
you have been keeping score, johnsh is wrong a lot.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
First of all. First of all, first of all, check yourself,
all right, check check yourself, be check myself. You check.
You should blue check yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
That's another one usual blue. I should be verified because
what you tell me, because I'm so wrong, I'm so
inappropriate for what I'm doing right now that I need
to get blue jacked.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Yeah. Yeah, because here's the thing. Yeah, sometimes sometimes you win,
even I can admit it, all right, But sometimes it's
real close, all right, it's it's very close, and then
you still take a w like it's just old to you,
like you just know it for sure, and it's not.
It's not always that. I feel like I'm pretty gracious
(46:27):
when I'm right, you know, I feel like I'm I
feel like I don't even bring it up really, you know.
And then and then sometimes what have you been right?
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Givey wants that?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
I think I was pretty right for staycation versus vacation.
I think I think I was on point. I think
I came with facts. I think I came with figures
and figurines.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
All right, you know what, I'm so happy about it.
Now you're just trying to start to sound like me,
and yeah, yeah, it's just ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
And the last thing I'll say about this, because we're
gonna we're gonna do this extra episode to extend it.
So if you don't even have an opinion yet and
you really want to be swayed, you can.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Let me know that.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
You can let me know, Hey, Josh, you you did
your best, but you're really gonna have to bring it
in the next one because I'm leaning towards summer. I understand,
all right, But the last thing I'll say about summer
versus winter is. Summer is about a lot of payoff.
You know, you're out in the world. You're getting to
see your friends, go on vacation, stuff like that. The winter,
the wintertime is about the grind, all right. It's about
(47:36):
staying home. It's about staying home. It's about no days off,
it's about doing. It's about doing what the other people
don't see because you're inside grinding. Okay, I was.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
I was in La.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
I was talking to some friends while I was in La,
and I was telling them about the grind, you know,
And I was telling them about the no days off,
and it's like, look, you need to work until you
can't work anymore. And if you have a heart attack,
that means your heart was a quitter and it couldn't
grind hard enough. All right, So stay warm, stay grinding,
(48:14):
and stay winny. Okay. You if you want to be
a summertime bug, I get that too, all right. I
get I get you want to flap your wings and
fly and go all the places and stuff. But if
you really care about the grind, that's a wintertime thing.
The winter isn't always fun. Sometimes it's hard, and you
need hard to grind you into the diamond that you
(48:36):
are when it's cold outside, you want to be a
frozen diamond or you want to be a like warm, warm,
little bikini top. You know what I'm saying, Like, what
do you really want to your life? Okay?
Speaker 3 (48:50):
I hate you?
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Just this has been holed up, which you've never fully
explained the entire title of the show because it's hold up, sure,
but really it's hold up? Are you grinding? Okay? Hold up?
Are you trying to take your life to the next level?
Speaker 1 (49:15):
Josh? Josh, Ladies and gentlemen, hev.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
They I'm doing my best out here to bring you
the great points and the way in which you can
elevate your life. Okay. All you need to do to
get the rest of the blueprint is by my book.
It's on Amazon right now, self published because I'll really
(49:41):
work with publishers because I'm on to grind. Okay did
they tell me no? Sure, but they also missed out
on opportunity to grind with me all the way up.
So give us your summertime wintertime thoughts. All right, put
your grinds on social where we could see a comment
(50:02):
on any hold up content that you see on the
Daily show pages. They're gonna be on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter,
We're grinding all day. It's on every platform. If we're
not on that platform, that means that platform really didn't
popping like that.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
And if you can find it in your heart to
send Joshson message to let him know he's a fucking miscreant.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
At least miscreated.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Okay, listen by Josh Joseph's book, Grind That You Die.
I wrote the forward for it because he wouldn't stop
calling me. And let's just it's illegal in fifteen states,
so just because the.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
Fifteen stints aren't motivated, Okay.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
And he also believes in child labor, so which I
don't wholly disagree with.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Look, let the kids grind, hey man, Not every kid's
going to college, bro, Let the kids work.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Not every kids going to college. Do they need to
be in a factory at the age of nine. No,
but put some hot but a man, put some step
ladders here, these coffee making machines and the Starbucks and
get these kids. I'm so not one hundred percent serious.
I'm just saying I've been working since I was nine
(51:28):
years old. And look at me, m h, look at me.
Look at this grind I'm doing okay. Yeah, my mama
hasn't worked since twenty eighteen because I've been working on you.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
Yeah, see get the Flint administration. Okay, because I've been
I've been grinding, all right. I've been grinding since I
was four years old. And what do I have to
show for only two loans?
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Okay, ladies and jentlemen, thank you so much for listening
to Hold Up. Josh Johnson doesn't really have a book.
Please don't go looking for it on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
You will end up buying someone else's book.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
And yes, grind till you die. I promise you you
can find it. So listen to hold Up. Go see
me and Josh Johnson in the places that we're gonna
be follow us on social media's I guess we have
to tell you. It's Dual Say Sloan at dul Say
Sloan on all of the social platforms, including Tumblr, if
(52:23):
that's even still around. Do you have a Geocity's website?
If you do keep it, it's probably going to be
the last part of the Internet when all this falls apart.
Josh Jedediah Johnson.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Oh yeah, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy
on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, and at Josh Johnson on Twitter.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
We Love You, The Lord Loves You, and call your Mama.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcast. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Central and stream pull episodes anytime on Faaramount Plus.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
This has been a Comedy Central podcastow
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