May 20, 2023 • 38 mins
Hosts Dulcé Sloan and Josh Johnson go head-to-head about the best way to spend your time off: a vacation or staycation. Why sit at home for a long weekend when you can parasail off the beach of an all-inclusive resort? Why spend money on a trip when you can enjoy food and entertainment from the comfort of your own home? Original Air Date: July 7, 2022
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hey, everybody, we are back with another episode to hold up.
I'm your host, Josh Johnson, right for the Daily Show
and joining me as my co host, you'll say, Sloan
correspondent for the Daily Show. And we're getting right into it.
You know, I know that there's a lot going on
in the world. I know there's big things, there's wars,
there's there's market crashes. We're not gonna be talking about
any of that. We're talking about stuff that probably doesn't
(00:31):
even matter at all to anybody but us. And we're
talking about today staycation versus vacation. Where do you stand?
Where do you land? What do you want to go on? More?
And I'm not gonna put this on you. I'm just
saying that it seems to me like you are a
vacation kind of gal. I'm I'm a I'm a staycation dude.
I'm a homebody. Because for me, this is I'm just
(00:52):
gonna throw this out there, and this is not pointed,
but just just you're you're gonna you're gonna catch some
bass in my voice, all right, You're gonna you're gonna
catch some tone. Okay, I cannot stand the fact that
a vacation includes a trip to the airport, a trip
to a bus station, a trip like I like to
already be places. I don't like to travel. People say
(01:14):
they like traveling. You like to already be there. The
airport is a nightmare.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, so you want to be able to teleport, that's
what that sounds like.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, I'm sick of attacks, like the actual social attacks
at an airport that I have to go through to
have a vacation. It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Do you have clear and pre check?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I have clear, I have pre checked. But you know what,
sometimes those close. I didn't even know that was possible.
Sometimes nobody close them.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Not only will they be closed, they won't be open
early enough. Then customs also closes as if planes don't
land daily. So it's like you should at least see,
like when's the earliest flight coming in from an international flight?
Be open? When's the latest flight leaving? Be fucking open?
Who invented this nonsense? We know who did it, but
(02:08):
we won't have to talk about them. We know who
did this, We know who did it. Have you considered
taking a vacation in a car, like, well, you don't drive.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
No, No, I can't drive. So no, I have not
considered taking a vacation in a car. That would be
a car accident almost immediately.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, well I think you should try. Ooh, you can
do like the best of both worlds. Like you remember
whenever Idy was like had left the city and was
like just took over the mountains of like upstate New
York and all these other places like the Poconos, which
full disclosure, for most of my life I thought was islands.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Uh, I'm just finding out they're not islands right now.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
See don't they sound like islands?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, they're fucking mountains.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
It also sounds like islands. We don't fully understand.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Right, So it's like, oh, we're going to the Poconos.
So if you say that word to me, you're telling
me it's a vacation. I'm hearing the word Poconos expecting
fucking mountains in New York because it's crazy, just blandlocked,
just higher altitudes. Sounds nuts. Have you considered, because then
you can get like the best of both worlds. You
(03:20):
drive up to a cabin and then you're staying in
a cabin, so you're getting your staycation. But You're just
not at your house.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
No, because at my home, I know where everything is.
This cabin, this, this cabin. You know, how do we
know there's not murders? How do we know there's not
somebody waiting? You know what I mean? The cabin is
where the stuff happens from the movie.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You're right, That's why I'm like going up there. I'll say,
for me, it depends. But I think because we have
been in a Panorama, a Panasonic, a Pondul's, a Popeye's
for the past two years. My desire because like I'm
a beach per right, So like my family's from Miami.
I was born there and we used to live there.
(04:05):
So like for me, vacation means beach period. M hm.
Do look at me and go like, oh, we're going
to like somewhere that's not gonna be any geographical place.
It's not a beach for vacation. I'm gonna look at
you like the nets.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
You don't want to go to Montana? You don't want
to I mean, cause here's the thing I look like.
The other thing about vacations that I can't stand is
that there's a pressure to like have fun and do
activities and and and like really be out there whereas
a staycation. Now, it's all up to you. Do you
want Netflix? Do you want to just relax? You want sleep?
That's all happening. It's happening at home.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I have been on vacation with people and it's been
chill as shit, and we're doing whatever, we're doing whatever
we do it. And then there's other people that want
to give you like a full itinerary and itemize and
I'm like, this is not relaxing because I don't like
to do this in my life. So it's like also
(05:07):
like you'll go on vacation with people and they don't
want to spend money on food.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Wait what It's like.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I've gone on vacations with people and it's like, well
I don't want to spend a bunch of money on food,
you know, Like, bitch, what are you talking about? Like
I want to make it. It's like, well, we can
just get maded that I am not eating anywhere where
I can eat where I live.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Do you want to know what that is? Though? That
is a staycation person going on a vacation.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Now, there's a broke person going on vacation. There's a
broke person going on vacation, you should have stayed home.
You should stay home. It's like I like I now
like when I go on vacation, I want like a
hotel room that has like even I it's a kitchenette
or something, right, because like you want to be able
to have like little snackies, and so you have a
place that has like a little kitchen area so you
(06:01):
can keep cold cuts cold. Okay, keeps cold cuts cold.
Nobody's eating hot cold cuts. That's ay. You gets sick,
you get some nice fruits, you bring you some watermelon,
nice little trees, get you some cold drinks, and then
you have a nice day on the beach. You are
not about this.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
No, because you know what you're describing. It's home. No,
that's that's that's that's home to me. I already got
the cold cuts, already got them cold, not warm. I
already got the fruits and the veggies. I'm doing all
of my my my things at home. And this is
the other thing about vacations is that people always end
up doing my stuff out there.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So then you can go That's the way I mean,
a person.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Columbia to watch Netflix, to watch Columbia Netflix. I got
my American.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Netflix listen once. It's like because like when I went
to Turks and Caicos, like a lot of those resort places,
people have been at the beach all day long. They're
probably going to be exhausted. So like some places don't
like So it didn't like a lot of like a
lot of night in life because like a family place,
like I had to meet people that lived there. Remember
I told you one on the date that would just
(07:07):
ended up being a family outing. Yeah right, just wow,
just for the listeners. I went on a boat tour,
was hanging out with like twenty middle aged white people
from New Jersey because they were also on the boat.
We had a great time. Uh. But one of the
guys I was working on the boat, I think it
was like this, he wasn't the captain. Captain was married,
(07:29):
because I would have gone for the captains, but because
you know, gott to go for the nick in charge.
Why would I go for the assistant. That sounds crazy,
So but he was a nice man. We hung out.
He's like, Okay, I want to take you out and
I was like sure. He's like, yeah, there's this bar
we all go to. I said, okay, cool, because I
didn't want to do some stuff where, which is just
like being on the resort all day. So he comes
(07:49):
and picks me up, and when you see him, he's
there's a like older woman in the front seat drinking
a corona. And I was like, I'm not gonna get
a kidnap this. But I had met some girls from Atlanta,
and you know, we don't play that game. So they
took pictures of him when he wasn't looking, and then
they took pictures of the car, and the girl, one
(08:12):
of the girls, was like, she's like, you're coming back,
and I was like, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Look, once again, these are vacation things. I don't have
to take pictures of anything anybody.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
But I used to do this in college, like when
like the younger girls would have a guy like come
and pick them up. Look where'd you meet him?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
We met something like this is like early two thousands.
They might have met like something like black played at
a college club some stupid like that. So if none
of our friends knew who he was, we took a
picture of him, took a picture of the license plate,
and he's like, wow, why would y'all do thisthing? Cause
she's coming back. That's why had no casualties in here,
(08:52):
and some of them would get so spooked. One dude
just left the girl. He was like, I don't want
to deal with this, and I was like, see, you
would have ended up on the news. You're welcome, But.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I mean, I mean maybe, yeah, yeah, that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
May seems why he's so upset, why he's so bothered
by this, right, So going I go and hang so
like it's it's it's his aunty in the car and
then his cousin's in the back seat. And then come
to find out later the reason all of the aunty
and the cousin were in the car because it was
the auntie's car. Right, So these are But I still
had a fun time. I had an experience. He tried
(09:26):
to con me into starting a jet skiing business. I
was like, absolutely not. I don't know your last name.
But it was a nice man, glad I didn't give
him the cookies because he was poor. But what I'm
saying is you go on vacations to have adventures, right,
But the other girls I was hanging out with, they
stayed at the resort the entire time because it's an
(09:49):
all inclusive resort, and one of the girls was like,
She's like, I get my money's worth. I'm drinking everything,
I'm eating all of the food. I am not leaving
this resort because I pay the money.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
On the other hand, I was just like, I've been
on this resort for three day. I had because I
got I was there from Wednesday to a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah yeah, by like now, now, maybe I just haven't
been to as many places as you, so then maybe
that's part of what's happening. But I'll tell you right now,
there are adventures at home. There are adventures that you
could have that you would have never One time I
lost my remote and I genuinely I couldn't find it.
I couldn't find it anywhere, and I looked up and down,
(10:28):
I was tossing cushions, I was everything right, And eventually
I just started walking up to the TV every time
that had changed a channel. Right. And then one day
in my staycation, three day staycation, then on the third day,
I opened one of the drawers in my kitchen boom
remotes right there all right now. I don't know how
(10:49):
it got there. Now I got an adventure and a mystery,
and I don't even have to leave home.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Also, you must
have had cable, because you can't change the stream of
service without it control.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know why my thing is sad and your
thing is normal, all right, I don't. I don't know
why that happened at all.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Listen. I went on an adventure with strangers. Okay. I
found out that about the little dogs they have on
the island. I saw all the all the islands. I
was parasailing. Okay. I found out that I could not
ride a horse on the beach because there's weight limit
on these horses. And now I have a joke about
it because I was like, where did you get these
weak ass horses from? You? See what I'm saying, Like
(11:36):
horses used to be able to put armor on people,
and then armor on horses, and then we go to war.
So I'm like, where did you get these horses from?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Look, I'll tell you right now. I also have had
some riveting staycasions. One time I had a dream about
a turtle and it was wild. Woke up sweating everything.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
How do I hang up? How do I hang up?
How do I what?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Why would you hang out, Why would you Why would
you hang up? I'm making good points.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I would to hang up. You can I tell me
about a dream about a turtle and compare that to
me and another girl swag surfing in the sky. It
doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
No, it worked that way for me. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I was absolutely not Listen, this money you can't take
it with you. Okay, first and foremost, you can't take
this money with you. You work hard, you might as well
spend it. This is the thing about vacations, though, It's
like sometimes it's like like vacations come to an end.
So it's say, even likecations come to an end because
(12:36):
you have to take your ass back to work, right,
So that's the hardest part of either being on a
vacation or a staycation. You know you have to now
go back. Well, I guess you're a staycation ends you
just wake up.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I guess boom, thank you. That's what I was going
to say. I was going to wow, exactly what I
was going to say.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Could you just go to work?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Like?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Every weekend stressing, stressing and flights you know, Oh, how
do I get back? I get back on the train, sir,
excuse me, why I blow my nose. I did not
expect this to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
While we were recording, I think about all the places
that I wanted to go as like a kid. Like recently,
I was like, wait, didn't you go to Hawaii with
your mom?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Mm hmmm for them? That wasn't for me. Wow, that's
I'm trying to give my mom and my aunt a
better life? Are you so that that's just something that
I thought that they would enjoy. I On the other hand,
I could have stayed home. I could have watched all
the net I was binging at the time, so that
(13:47):
I had to quit binging and then and then get
on a plane and watch it on a plane on
a tiny screen. Then I had to get to Hawaii,
which is beautiful. Don't get me wrong. It's beautiful. There's beaches,
there's like, you know, scan clad people, and there's their
son and all the stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
As somebody who doesn't like the beach, like you make
me think you're someone who doesn't like the beach.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
It's just itchy dirt. It's it's just when you have.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You heard Jay Jorden's joke where he says, uh, sand
is just gay dirt.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Wow, wow say, he said, it is so funny fell out.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He's so funny that I have to look at my
But it's like I went to Hawaii back in March
because like we had some we had some off time
from the show, and I wanted to go, but I
was like, I don't know anybody in Hawaii. I want
to go. I want to go just because it's like
I grew up in the nineties. They sent everybody on
every TV show to Hawaii, so it's been like propped
(14:56):
up to us for generations. And I was like, I
want to go, but I want to by myself, because
I definitely went to Turks and KOs by myself. But
I was like, there's black people here, I'll be fine,
But Hawaii, I don't know the cats and as wall
on the other side of the planet, it's literally right
in the middle of the specific Pacific Ocean. You have
no backup. So it's like I don't know nobody, know
(15:16):
nobody out here. And then my big brother Tom Bell
an amazing comic uh and stays on the TV show.
He was doing shows out there, so I was like,
brother going, I'm gonna go with him. I go out there,
we have fun. I meet a young man. I come back,
you know, uh in April, and it hung out with him.
(15:38):
But then I got to go like to more of
the beaches, and you know, he took me all around
and see the island because you were on it was
Oahu when you went, where were you? Oahu? Are Maui?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I was in Maui. And I'll say this even you
know you mentioned you know, the the what, what's the
best way to put it? The brief and citing romance
on a vacation. You know, there's something about meaning a
person on vacation, and you know it's it's it's like
(16:09):
new and it's fresh. And then it's like, ooh, I'm
gonna have to leave soon. So how far is it's
gonna go. I'm into the whole romance novel aspect of
romance vacations. But you know what a staycation? Hey, you
can come back anytime, all right, You can come back
whenever you want, I hear you.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But for that to work, you already have to have
somebody on the hook before your's vacation starts. And also
I thought this was gonna be a brief romance. And
then this man was trying to marry me, which I
did not see coming, and I was like, hey, I
just wanted this to be like a fun, casual.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Thing, trying to make it a staycation. He was trying
to make it a steak cake because then if you
if he had married you and you had moved, my
man is doing the same things that I'm talking about doing.
You know, It's like you meet someone on vacation and
you make it a staycation because you fall for I
was not.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Finn moved to Hawaii. I have so much work to do.
Like you said, I'm trying to get my mom a
better life. I can't do that in Hawaii. I can't.
I don't know what I'm with job I was supposed
to have that was going to keep Maryann Hill from working,
but it did not exist on that particular island. But
like the I because like I was just in Okay.
Here's the best example of the staycation. I was just
(17:23):
in London for the past month shooting a TV show.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So it was a work trip, but I wasn't working
all the time. And then for me sometimes that I'm
in a new place, because like I waited to do
all the real touristy touristy stuff till my mom came.
The first week we were with Wait, you.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Were there, I was there. I was waiting for you
to remember that I was also there.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
But I was waiting for you to mention that you
were also there.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Hey. I didn't want to interrupt, you know, I know
that we argue all this show, but I want to
be rude.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Okay, I hear it.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I get you, yep.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
But like we were there for I was there for
a month. You were there for a week, and so
there were days we weren't working. But there were days
we weren't working. But like I didn't feel like running
around London, and I'm sure there was some days where
you didn't feel like running around London.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
So I didn't feel like running around London because my
chest popped off.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Oh yeah, what happened with that? Could you have to
get their Russian ivy profit?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
This is this is why staycations are better. I'll tell
you right now. So I'm in London and I'm just
doing a regular bench press. I'm not I'm not doing
I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm not trying
to save any lives. I'm not trying to lift a
car off a baby or anything. I'm doing a regular
bitch press that I normally do, and I just hear
a pop and I feel I feel a tear and
I rewrack the bar and my arm is not cooperating,
(18:49):
and I'm sitting there swelling like you like you saw me.
I can't believe I went to the museum. You saw
me like two hours after it happened. And so I
don't know what to do because I just got this
like boulder on the left side of my chest. And
if I had been home doing a staycation doing a
bench press, I would have known what doctor to go to.
(19:09):
I don't even know if they'll see me because I'm
not from here. And apparently the health care is free,
but is it free for everybody? Do they just have
like health care spilling out the back of trucks or
do I need to go fill out a form? So right?
You know, staycation is even better for getting hurt.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, I mean one, that's your fault for working out
why you was on vacation. That's on you.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I mean, wow, Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
You wasn't gonna get out of shape in a week.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, but like the.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Shape wasn't gonna change you. We wasn't gonna stop being
a trappings a week one all of a sudden gonna
be like a.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Huge I want to be one of those big you
know what, I'll go on vacation when I'm torn and ripped.
Like Michael B.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Jordan, I want this for you. You've been talking about
it for years.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well you have to remind me how long I've been trying.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I mean, listen, we know that I've been trying to
do various things with my body and they have not
been coming to fruition. But it's just like I hear
you want to stay because I was really trying to
figure out because it's like because for my birthday, I
was like, oh, I'm going to go to LA for
a couple of days. But then literally this morning, I
was just like, what if I.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Didn't mm hmmm, Well if you had a staycation with
all the people you already know in New York to
come through because.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
But but I did that the last two years for
my birthday with everybody in New York, and I haven't
been able to see my LA friends. So for me,
it's like, you know, getting your acquainted with people, and
also's like I've been to la a few times. It's
like it's always been for work. So then you can't
be around anybody because you got to make sure you
don't catch ORNI so I've done a staycation before, and
(20:52):
it's like, oh, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna
do that. I'm gonna do myart crafting, and then I
just really give myself permission to just lay.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Dawn, which is the best. I don't know. I don't
know why people are trying to have ambitious staycations. Okay,
it was made for you to lay where you lay,
for you to eat where you eat.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
It.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It's absolutely perfect, all right. The people that are out
here trying to go to other countries and like see
other cultures and stuff, it's like what you're trying to prove,
all right, So you don't want to travel worldly?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
So wait, so you don't want to travel at all,
You don't want to go to another place.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
All I'll say is this, I go places. I do
things like I went to London, go to Canada, I
go places for shows. I'm I'm I'm a person that
goes out. I'm just saying I would rather stay at home,
all right, with a good book, because that's the other
thing I do on vacation. Vacations, I end up buying books,
(21:58):
But then I just wish I was home reading because
then you buy a book on vacation and then everybody's like, no,
I come to the beach with us, everything like that,
and then then after all.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Whad books on the beach all the time?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't want to stand in my pages. I don't.
I don't want the binding of my book to be
dirtied with the soiled sweat of the earth.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Wow. Okay, so you can sit by the pool, because
most hotels have pools. You can sit by the pool
and read a.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Book and get splashed with chlorine on my pristine new book.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Listen. I don't. I can't want this for you. I'm
just trying to figure out. I guess I understand, like
there's times that I really want to be home, right,
and then there's times from just like I think. The
other thing for me is like I'm single. Mm hmm,
so being in my house by myself for an extended
(22:54):
period of time just makes me sad mm hmm. Like
if there was another human being in my house, maybe
even a cat, there was another living creature in my house. Well,
another mammal. There's another mammal in my house.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Another more more specific. Every time I don't uh so.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Something I can hug an ear, then I might be
more inclined to be home more. But like I remember,
I was like out like a couple of months ago,
and one of my friends were like, oh, it's like
one in the morning, are you going home? And I
was like, why, there's nobody at my house and he
just started laughing. I was like, what he's thinking, It
(23:39):
is very good. I've no want to go home to
I'm gonna get in the house. When I left, it
was just me. When I got home, it was just me.
These dishes only get washed when I feel like doing them,
and I never felt like doing them. So I think
for me, like going on trips and stuff, it's like
it's really just trying to get to the beach. But
(24:01):
I think that's like the beach is like a relaxing
place for me.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Okay, so how about this. I'll pitch you this. I'll
ask you this. If you live somewhere with a beach,
would you go on vacations if the beach was already there,
It's already outside the window. You can see it. You
can just peek out your blinds and see the beach.
You know, you can just stare at it out your
window like a pervert. Right, You're still going on vacations now,
(24:35):
I don't know, because that's my thing is that if
you got the right environment, a staycation is better than
a vacation because you already know you want to be
at the place that you are.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Well, I guess like that's why I started buying better
seats on planes because the hardest part was just like
just being hemmed up, just shrapped in this tube in
the sky, trying not to pee because I'm in a
window seat and I had to climb over to two
(25:04):
other adults. What all I'm just trying to do was just,
you know, look for the latrine. So just that, so
like just traveling in a different way, And like I
remember there was one time I was in lax and
I don't know if some flights had got canceled or
what happened, but there were people fucking everywhere. I was like,
(25:27):
is this a bus station? What the hell happening here?
Because I was like I was excuse, you know, because
like Costa was telling me, He's like, oh, you should
get a membership in the Delta Lounge in the American Lines,
I'm like, I don't think I need that. And there
was a thousand humans, truly thousands of people, and it
was stressing me out. So I was like, let me
go in the Delta sky Club. And I walked in there,
(25:51):
and I was like, is the air different in here?
Like it was just a different vibe because it wasn't
a million people stressed out about getting on a plane.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Very interesting, very interesting. So you went to an airport
and you were getting overwhelmed by the amount of people
around you and and their franticness, their chaos was was
it was coming at you funny. So you wanted to
get away from that, so you went to a sky lounge,
which is only replicating a staycation.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
A sky lounge is not representing a stacation. And you know,
good and damn well, it's not. It's a whole barn
here it's free because you're still try it's a lounge, Josh,
it's not. I'm currently in the green room of the show.
I don't think I'm in a living room. I know
I'm in a room that is designated for people to
wait in.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
It's not a lounge that moves. It's a lounge that
stays right where it is.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
You know, the whole airport doesn't move. I still have
to leave this lounge to go to my flight. No, this.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Is a point for me.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
I am not making a point for you, because how
about this. They could make the whole airport. That's the
thing that to make it exclusive, because like you're in
a first class seat, you automatically get it right when
you are paying to have a different type of experience
than there is going to be food and drinks because
(27:17):
I paid you more to not be in the franticness
of the people who are getting on a Spirit Airline
flight or whatever, or group nine. Like, that's why it's
gonna sound very lead. Some people are gonna be upset.
That's not my problem, and I not knowing.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
You really came for group nine.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
That's listen. You think I wasn't in group nine.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You think when I started trying.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
We've all been in group nine. When you start going
on the road, you are a group eight, Group nine,
group six. And then when you start whacking up these
frequent flyer miles because you work the more freaking flyer miles,
you get the earlier you can get on a So
I'm always gonna be Sky priority no matter where I
(28:04):
sit on this plane because I have four hundred thousand
miles with Delta.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I think that, you know, we should also point out
that group nine if you're not aware, if you're a
listener and you're not actually someone who's had the misfortune
of being in group nine, you're basically outside the plane.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, you're holding on the way the wing. Yeah you're
that monster on that episode of Twilight Zone who is
terrorizing a very young William Chatner like you're holding onto
the plane for dear life. Also, by the time they
get to group nine, if you don't have a backpack,
that rolling your rolling backs, not getting on the plane
(28:43):
group nine, it's just not no.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
They tell you ahead of time, they tell you they
don't even try.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Don't even try. You are in group nine. Go ahead,
gate check this. Stop playing with people, so you start traveling.
It's you, So you work your way up.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
So can throw this out there to you. You know
what type of place does not have this sort of
hierarchy where you have to work your way up through
money and time and expenses. Is a home. You know,
I don't know that. That's that's true my basement. I
want to sit in my basement for you know, thirty
extra minutes because I'm in group nine.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
First of all, you don't have a basement.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
You don't know my life like that.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I do know your life like that.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I know you don't have no business out there.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Baby, I don't have a basement.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
You never heard of. No, maybe maybe there's a basement.
Look base im, you don't.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Have a basement. The building you're in might have a basement,
but where you say, ain't got no basement. So that's
I play this game. We are only dealing with true
facts and experiences, and in your experience, your black as
ain't got no basement. So I don't want to play
this game. Okay. And the thing is because of time
and experience spent, don't you live in a better apartment
(29:54):
now than you did when you first moved in New York?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
M See, I want to give it to you. But
those are leases.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
No, no, no, no no no, it's not about a lease. You're
talking about a staycation. So where you stay is going
to determine how your cation goes. Right, So when you
and over your very first apartment in New York with
whoever you were staying with, would you want cause so
when you're doing staycation, you're like a solid week at
(30:26):
home doing nothing. So your first apartment when you first
moved to New York, would you have wanted to do
a staycation in that apartment?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I don't even know if I want to talk about it,
you know, no, no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
No no no no no no no.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, I mean my first apartment in New York was
a hallway. So that's that's uh to your point. I
see what you mean that that you work your way
up eventually. I guess I just feel like since I've
lived in the same apartment for years now, I don't But.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
But you had to work, and that's time to get
to the plant where you could afford to live in
an apartment that you would stay in for a week.
Because your other apartment was a tornado drill. Sure, yeah,
see that's not a place you wanted to stay caation. No,
where you stay now with someplace you want to stay caation.
(31:29):
So if you're living in a situation like that, you
would not want to stay there. You would put your
coins together, peel them apart, if you got to you
would collect your coins together and get on that jet
food flight because you can get an eighty dollars ticket
to the Caribbean on Jet Blue and be in a
(31:50):
nice seat and take luggage with you.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I didn't know those things.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
They got a great Listen, It's not that expensive to
get to the Bahamas. It's really not. That's why people
always go. Bama's expensive to go to. That's why I
was like, listen, if I can't deal with a man
who can at least give me to the Bahamas, bro we,
why am I let you see my tips? It's stupid.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Look peak staycation versus peak vacation. I'm trying to stay
cation every time. I want to get enough money to
have a nice enough house to where I never want
to leave, and that's the ultimate staycation experience.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
But do you not want to leave because your house
is so expensive?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, I probably can't afford to leave now, Like.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Well that was a crazy thing, Like this is what
kind of happened, like because of the RONI where it
was like that's why we ran into furniture, because everybody
was in their apartments being like, oh wait a minute,
I got to be in here all day, every day
for months. Oh, we need to change it. Shut up,
I'm losing my mind in here, because that was the
thinking I think I got, like a lot of That's
(32:56):
why so many people like left New York because it's
like you for work at like eight in the morning,
you might not come and if you go, you might
not come back until eight to ten o'clock at night
or even later, and then you just go to sleep.
So you weren't even in your apartment that long. So
you're like, I can handle this. You know. Yes, the door,
(33:17):
the bathroom door hits the toilet when I open the door,
but I'm not here that off anyway, it don't matter.
And then now you're in there because Uther Roney, and
it's like, oh shit, this is I gotta get the
hell about it here. You know that feeling that you
get when you're on vacation, like you don't have any
respond like you don't like you don't like that feeling.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I have that feeling at home, and here's there's no.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, there's no way.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I get that feeling hard at home.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Wow you're home.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah, I don't. I don't care about anything. I'm like, oh,
you know, you know it's about to get read this book,
you know about to get watched this show. Oh, I'm
in it. I seemless to my apartment because I know
what's near me. I don't I don't even think. I
don't even think you'd be ready for the level of
staycation experience that I experienced. I think I think your
(34:15):
mind would be blown.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Is that just reading a book and ordering foods you
eat all the time?
Speaker 2 (34:24):
What can I say? I got a good life.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I can't stand you.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I will say, though, the thing that you mentioned about
vacations and how it, especially in the pandemic, people wanted
to get out there and have new experiences. I understand that,
Like I I get that. I'm it's not even new experiences.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
It's just like leaving. You weren't in your house shaking
in fear for a year and a half. It was like,
I'm finally not mortified to step outside my house. What
if we got on a plane?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I think that's the campaign. It's like that makes sense,
and I do understand the feeling. I'm just like being
in your house and not having to do anything. But
I think a staycation is just a weekend.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Ooh, ooh. That that's that's where I have to slow
you down. That's where I have to back you up.
That's where I have to stop you.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Okay, you have never talked to me like this before.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
A staycation is as long as the imagination lets it go.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Now, staycation as far as long as you are on vacation.
Then the next thing you wake up and go to work.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah, but you you can be on staycation until the
minute you leave that apartment, that house, that condo, that trailer,
that car. It's about the mind. You know, You're You're
the one that that's like hooked on the parameters of
an itinerary. You have to be on that flight by
a certain time or else you're not coming back.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Planes fly daily. You can always get a plane back.
You can always get baby. No.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Fair Yeah, fair enough, that that makes sense. I see
what you mean now of how vacations can be great
and why people want to go on them. I'm I'm
with you.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
See, And and I also can understand because like every
since like this thing started to open back up, I
was like, oh, I don't this feels too open, Like
I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, some people are nasty. Some people you. You're like, oh,
you should still be in lockdown.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Yeah, you should still be in lockdown. You should be
in handcuffed. So yeah, it's like I understand. But what
I do also like, this is what I like what
I'm on vacation. I don't like running around and doing
a bunch of shit because, like, guess why, I like
getting like a hotel, like a balcony or like an
airbeit like a balcony, like I'm gonna be able to
just sit outside and enjoy the air of another place.
(37:01):
I don't like running around having a full ituner race.
So it's like, I guess sometimes I'll do a staycation
while I'm on a vacation. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm with you. I want to get
not only just your thoughts, but the thoughts of the listeners.
Let us know what you think. You know, are you
a vacation person staycation person? Do you think one of
us is absolutely crazy? It's probably me. I understand that
I have very unpopular opinions about things.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Oh, people probably agree with you. They're like, no, I'm
trying to stay in the house, you know, because sometimes.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I feel like a rich person agrees with me. I
feel like, ah, I feel like anybody with money is
probably going to agree with me. I'm just glad that
we could find some common ground, you know. I want
to thank you will Say for being a co host
with me. I want to thank you the listener for
listening to the episode. And we're going to be back
next week with an all new hold Up. Listen to
(37:58):
hold Up on the iHeartRadio app podcast or wherever you
get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Wow.
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hey, everybody, we are back with another episode to hold up.
I'm your host, Josh Johnson, right for the Daily Show
and joining me as my co host, you'll say, Sloan
correspondent for the Daily Show. And we're getting right into it.
You know, I know that there's a lot going on
in the world. I know there's big things, there's wars,
there's there's market crashes. We're not gonna be talking about
any of that. We're talking about stuff that probably doesn't
(00:31):
even matter at all to anybody but us. And we're
talking about today staycation versus vacation. Where do you stand?
Where do you land? What do you want to go on? More?
And I'm not gonna put this on you. I'm just
saying that it seems to me like you are a
vacation kind of gal. I'm I'm a I'm a staycation dude.
I'm a homebody. Because for me, this is I'm just
(00:52):
gonna throw this out there, and this is not pointed,
but just just you're you're gonna you're gonna catch some
bass in my voice, all right, You're gonna you're gonna
catch some tone. Okay, I cannot stand the fact that
a vacation includes a trip to the airport, a trip
to a bus station, a trip like I like to
already be places. I don't like to travel. People say
(01:14):
they like traveling. You like to already be there. The
airport is a nightmare.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, so you want to be able to teleport, that's
what that sounds like.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, I'm sick of attacks, like the actual social attacks
at an airport that I have to go through to
have a vacation. It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Do you have clear and pre check?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I have clear, I have pre checked. But you know what,
sometimes those close. I didn't even know that was possible.
Sometimes nobody close them.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Not only will they be closed, they won't be open
early enough. Then customs also closes as if planes don't
land daily. So it's like you should at least see,
like when's the earliest flight coming in from an international flight?
Be open? When's the latest flight leaving? Be fucking open?
Who invented this nonsense? We know who did it, but
(02:08):
we won't have to talk about them. We know who
did this, We know who did it. Have you considered
taking a vacation in a car, like, well, you don't drive.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
No, No, I can't drive. So no, I have not
considered taking a vacation in a car. That would be
a car accident almost immediately.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, well I think you should try. Ooh, you can
do like the best of both worlds. Like you remember
whenever Idy was like had left the city and was
like just took over the mountains of like upstate New
York and all these other places like the Poconos, which
full disclosure, for most of my life I thought was islands.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Uh, I'm just finding out they're not islands right now.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
See don't they sound like islands?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, they're fucking mountains.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
It also sounds like islands. We don't fully understand.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Right, So it's like, oh, we're going to the Poconos.
So if you say that word to me, you're telling
me it's a vacation. I'm hearing the word Poconos expecting
fucking mountains in New York because it's crazy, just blandlocked,
just higher altitudes. Sounds nuts. Have you considered, because then
you can get like the best of both worlds. You
(03:20):
drive up to a cabin and then you're staying in
a cabin, so you're getting your staycation. But You're just
not at your house.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
No, because at my home, I know where everything is.
This cabin, this, this cabin. You know, how do we
know there's not murders? How do we know there's not
somebody waiting? You know what I mean? The cabin is
where the stuff happens from the movie.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You're right, That's why I'm like going up there. I'll say,
for me, it depends. But I think because we have
been in a Panorama, a Panasonic, a Pondul's, a Popeye's
for the past two years. My desire because like I'm
a beach per right, So like my family's from Miami.
I was born there and we used to live there.
(04:05):
So like for me, vacation means beach period. M hm.
Do look at me and go like, oh, we're going
to like somewhere that's not gonna be any geographical place.
It's not a beach for vacation. I'm gonna look at
you like the nets.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
You don't want to go to Montana? You don't want
to I mean, cause here's the thing I look like.
The other thing about vacations that I can't stand is
that there's a pressure to like have fun and do
activities and and and like really be out there whereas
a staycation. Now, it's all up to you. Do you
want Netflix? Do you want to just relax? You want sleep?
That's all happening. It's happening at home.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I have been on vacation with people and it's been
chill as shit, and we're doing whatever, we're doing whatever
we do it. And then there's other people that want
to give you like a full itinerary and itemize and
I'm like, this is not relaxing because I don't like
to do this in my life. So it's like also
(05:07):
like you'll go on vacation with people and they don't
want to spend money on food.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Wait what It's like.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I've gone on vacations with people and it's like, well
I don't want to spend a bunch of money on food,
you know, Like, bitch, what are you talking about? Like
I want to make it. It's like, well, we can
just get maded that I am not eating anywhere where
I can eat where I live.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Do you want to know what that is? Though? That
is a staycation person going on a vacation.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Now, there's a broke person going on vacation. There's a
broke person going on vacation, you should have stayed home.
You should stay home. It's like I like I now
like when I go on vacation, I want like a
hotel room that has like even I it's a kitchenette
or something, right, because like you want to be able
to have like little snackies, and so you have a
place that has like a little kitchen area so you
(06:01):
can keep cold cuts cold. Okay, keeps cold cuts cold.
Nobody's eating hot cold cuts. That's ay. You gets sick,
you get some nice fruits, you bring you some watermelon,
nice little trees, get you some cold drinks, and then
you have a nice day on the beach. You are
not about this.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
No, because you know what you're describing. It's home. No,
that's that's that's that's home to me. I already got
the cold cuts, already got them cold, not warm. I
already got the fruits and the veggies. I'm doing all
of my my my things at home. And this is
the other thing about vacations is that people always end
up doing my stuff out there.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So then you can go That's the way I mean,
a person.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Columbia to watch Netflix, to watch Columbia Netflix. I got
my American.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Netflix listen once. It's like because like when I went
to Turks and Caicos, like a lot of those resort places,
people have been at the beach all day long. They're
probably going to be exhausted. So like some places don't
like So it didn't like a lot of like a
lot of night in life because like a family place,
like I had to meet people that lived there. Remember
I told you one on the date that would just
(07:07):
ended up being a family outing. Yeah right, just wow,
just for the listeners. I went on a boat tour,
was hanging out with like twenty middle aged white people
from New Jersey because they were also on the boat.
We had a great time. Uh. But one of the
guys I was working on the boat, I think it
was like this, he wasn't the captain. Captain was married,
(07:29):
because I would have gone for the captains, but because
you know, gott to go for the nick in charge.
Why would I go for the assistant. That sounds crazy,
So but he was a nice man. We hung out.
He's like, Okay, I want to take you out and
I was like sure. He's like, yeah, there's this bar
we all go to. I said, okay, cool, because I
didn't want to do some stuff where, which is just
like being on the resort all day. So he comes
(07:49):
and picks me up, and when you see him, he's
there's a like older woman in the front seat drinking
a corona. And I was like, I'm not gonna get
a kidnap this. But I had met some girls from Atlanta,
and you know, we don't play that game. So they
took pictures of him when he wasn't looking, and then
they took pictures of the car, and the girl, one
(08:12):
of the girls, was like, she's like, you're coming back,
and I was like, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Look, once again, these are vacation things. I don't have
to take pictures of anything anybody.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
But I used to do this in college, like when
like the younger girls would have a guy like come
and pick them up. Look where'd you meet him?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
We met something like this is like early two thousands.
They might have met like something like black played at
a college club some stupid like that. So if none
of our friends knew who he was, we took a
picture of him, took a picture of the license plate,
and he's like, wow, why would y'all do thisthing? Cause
she's coming back. That's why had no casualties in here,
(08:52):
and some of them would get so spooked. One dude
just left the girl. He was like, I don't want
to deal with this, and I was like, see, you
would have ended up on the news. You're welcome, But.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I mean, I mean maybe, yeah, yeah, that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
May seems why he's so upset, why he's so bothered
by this, right, So going I go and hang so
like it's it's it's his aunty in the car and
then his cousin's in the back seat. And then come
to find out later the reason all of the aunty
and the cousin were in the car because it was
the auntie's car. Right, So these are But I still
had a fun time. I had an experience. He tried
(09:26):
to con me into starting a jet skiing business. I
was like, absolutely not. I don't know your last name.
But it was a nice man, glad I didn't give
him the cookies because he was poor. But what I'm
saying is you go on vacations to have adventures, right,
But the other girls I was hanging out with, they
stayed at the resort the entire time because it's an
(09:49):
all inclusive resort, and one of the girls was like,
She's like, I get my money's worth. I'm drinking everything,
I'm eating all of the food. I am not leaving
this resort because I pay the money.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
On the other hand, I was just like, I've been
on this resort for three day. I had because I
got I was there from Wednesday to a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah yeah, by like now, now, maybe I just haven't
been to as many places as you, so then maybe
that's part of what's happening. But I'll tell you right now,
there are adventures at home. There are adventures that you
could have that you would have never One time I
lost my remote and I genuinely I couldn't find it.
I couldn't find it anywhere, and I looked up and down,
(10:28):
I was tossing cushions, I was everything right, And eventually
I just started walking up to the TV every time
that had changed a channel. Right. And then one day
in my staycation, three day staycation, then on the third day,
I opened one of the drawers in my kitchen boom
remotes right there all right now. I don't know how
(10:49):
it got there. Now I got an adventure and a mystery,
and I don't even have to leave home.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Also, you must
have had cable, because you can't change the stream of
service without it control.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know why my thing is sad and your
thing is normal, all right, I don't. I don't know
why that happened at all.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Listen. I went on an adventure with strangers. Okay. I
found out that about the little dogs they have on
the island. I saw all the all the islands. I
was parasailing. Okay. I found out that I could not
ride a horse on the beach because there's weight limit
on these horses. And now I have a joke about
it because I was like, where did you get these
weak ass horses from? You? See what I'm saying, Like
(11:36):
horses used to be able to put armor on people,
and then armor on horses, and then we go to war.
So I'm like, where did you get these horses from?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Look, I'll tell you right now. I also have had
some riveting staycasions. One time I had a dream about
a turtle and it was wild. Woke up sweating everything.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
How do I hang up? How do I hang up?
How do I what?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Why would you hang out, Why would you Why would
you hang up? I'm making good points.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I would to hang up. You can I tell me
about a dream about a turtle and compare that to
me and another girl swag surfing in the sky. It
doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
No, it worked that way for me. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I was absolutely not Listen, this money you can't take
it with you. Okay, first and foremost, you can't take
this money with you. You work hard, you might as well
spend it. This is the thing about vacations, though, It's
like sometimes it's like like vacations come to an end.
So it's say, even likecations come to an end because
(12:36):
you have to take your ass back to work, right,
So that's the hardest part of either being on a
vacation or a staycation. You know you have to now
go back. Well, I guess you're a staycation ends you
just wake up.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I guess boom, thank you. That's what I was going
to say. I was going to wow, exactly what I
was going to say.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Could you just go to work?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Like?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Every weekend stressing, stressing and flights you know, Oh, how
do I get back? I get back on the train, sir,
excuse me, why I blow my nose. I did not
expect this to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
While we were recording, I think about all the places
that I wanted to go as like a kid. Like recently,
I was like, wait, didn't you go to Hawaii with
your mom?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Mm hmmm for them? That wasn't for me. Wow, that's
I'm trying to give my mom and my aunt a
better life? Are you so that that's just something that
I thought that they would enjoy. I On the other hand,
I could have stayed home. I could have watched all
the net I was binging at the time, so that
(13:47):
I had to quit binging and then and then get
on a plane and watch it on a plane on
a tiny screen. Then I had to get to Hawaii,
which is beautiful. Don't get me wrong. It's beautiful. There's beaches,
there's like, you know, scan clad people, and there's their
son and all the stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
As somebody who doesn't like the beach, like you make
me think you're someone who doesn't like the beach.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
It's just itchy dirt. It's it's just when you have.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You heard Jay Jorden's joke where he says, uh, sand
is just gay dirt.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Wow, wow say, he said, it is so funny fell out.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
He's so funny that I have to look at my
But it's like I went to Hawaii back in March
because like we had some we had some off time
from the show, and I wanted to go, but I
was like, I don't know anybody in Hawaii. I want
to go. I want to go just because it's like
I grew up in the nineties. They sent everybody on
every TV show to Hawaii, so it's been like propped
(14:56):
up to us for generations. And I was like, I
want to go, but I want to by myself, because
I definitely went to Turks and KOs by myself. But
I was like, there's black people here, I'll be fine,
But Hawaii, I don't know the cats and as wall
on the other side of the planet, it's literally right
in the middle of the specific Pacific Ocean. You have
no backup. So it's like I don't know nobody, know
(15:16):
nobody out here. And then my big brother Tom Bell
an amazing comic uh and stays on the TV show.
He was doing shows out there, so I was like,
brother going, I'm gonna go with him. I go out there,
we have fun. I meet a young man. I come back,
you know, uh in April, and it hung out with him.
(15:38):
But then I got to go like to more of
the beaches, and you know, he took me all around
and see the island because you were on it was
Oahu when you went, where were you? Oahu? Are Maui?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I was in Maui. And I'll say this even you
know you mentioned you know, the the what, what's the
best way to put it? The brief and citing romance
on a vacation. You know, there's something about meaning a
person on vacation, and you know it's it's it's like
(16:09):
new and it's fresh. And then it's like, ooh, I'm
gonna have to leave soon. So how far is it's
gonna go. I'm into the whole romance novel aspect of
romance vacations. But you know what a staycation? Hey, you
can come back anytime, all right, You can come back
whenever you want, I hear you.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But for that to work, you already have to have
somebody on the hook before your's vacation starts. And also
I thought this was gonna be a brief romance. And
then this man was trying to marry me, which I
did not see coming, and I was like, hey, I
just wanted this to be like a fun, casual.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Thing, trying to make it a staycation. He was trying
to make it a steak cake because then if you
if he had married you and you had moved, my
man is doing the same things that I'm talking about doing.
You know, It's like you meet someone on vacation and
you make it a staycation because you fall for I
was not.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Finn moved to Hawaii. I have so much work to do.
Like you said, I'm trying to get my mom a
better life. I can't do that in Hawaii. I can't.
I don't know what I'm with job I was supposed
to have that was going to keep Maryann Hill from working,
but it did not exist on that particular island. But
like the I because like I was just in Okay.
Here's the best example of the staycation. I was just
(17:23):
in London for the past month shooting a TV show.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So it was a work trip, but I wasn't working
all the time. And then for me sometimes that I'm
in a new place, because like I waited to do
all the real touristy touristy stuff till my mom came.
The first week we were with Wait, you.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Were there, I was there. I was waiting for you
to remember that I was also there.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
But I was waiting for you to mention that you
were also there.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Hey. I didn't want to interrupt, you know, I know
that we argue all this show, but I want to
be rude.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Okay, I hear it.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I get you, yep.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
But like we were there for I was there for
a month. You were there for a week, and so
there were days we weren't working. But there were days
we weren't working. But like I didn't feel like running
around London, and I'm sure there was some days where
you didn't feel like running around London.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
So I didn't feel like running around London because my
chest popped off.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Oh yeah, what happened with that? Could you have to
get their Russian ivy profit?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
This is this is why staycations are better. I'll tell
you right now. So I'm in London and I'm just
doing a regular bench press. I'm not I'm not doing
I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm not trying
to save any lives. I'm not trying to lift a
car off a baby or anything. I'm doing a regular
bitch press that I normally do, and I just hear
a pop and I feel I feel a tear and
I rewrack the bar and my arm is not cooperating,
(18:49):
and I'm sitting there swelling like you like you saw me.
I can't believe I went to the museum. You saw
me like two hours after it happened. And so I
don't know what to do because I just got this
like boulder on the left side of my chest. And
if I had been home doing a staycation doing a
bench press, I would have known what doctor to go to.
(19:09):
I don't even know if they'll see me because I'm
not from here. And apparently the health care is free,
but is it free for everybody? Do they just have
like health care spilling out the back of trucks or
do I need to go fill out a form? So right?
You know, staycation is even better for getting hurt.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, I mean one, that's your fault for working out
why you was on vacation. That's on you.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I mean, wow, Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
You wasn't gonna get out of shape in a week.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, but like the.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Shape wasn't gonna change you. We wasn't gonna stop being
a trappings a week one all of a sudden gonna
be like a.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Huge I want to be one of those big you
know what, I'll go on vacation when I'm torn and ripped.
Like Michael B.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Jordan, I want this for you. You've been talking about
it for years.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well you have to remind me how long I've been trying.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I mean, listen, we know that I've been trying to
do various things with my body and they have not
been coming to fruition. But it's just like I hear
you want to stay because I was really trying to
figure out because it's like because for my birthday, I
was like, oh, I'm going to go to LA for
a couple of days. But then literally this morning, I
was just like, what if I.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Didn't mm hmmm, Well if you had a staycation with
all the people you already know in New York to
come through because.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
But but I did that the last two years for
my birthday with everybody in New York, and I haven't
been able to see my LA friends. So for me,
it's like, you know, getting your acquainted with people, and
also's like I've been to la a few times. It's
like it's always been for work. So then you can't
be around anybody because you got to make sure you
don't catch ORNI so I've done a staycation before, and
(20:52):
it's like, oh, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna
do that. I'm gonna do myart crafting, and then I
just really give myself permission to just lay.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Dawn, which is the best. I don't know. I don't
know why people are trying to have ambitious staycations. Okay,
it was made for you to lay where you lay,
for you to eat where you eat.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
It.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It's absolutely perfect, all right. The people that are out
here trying to go to other countries and like see
other cultures and stuff, it's like what you're trying to prove,
all right, So you don't want to travel worldly?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
So wait, so you don't want to travel at all,
You don't want to go to another place.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
All I'll say is this, I go places. I do
things like I went to London, go to Canada, I
go places for shows. I'm I'm I'm a person that
goes out. I'm just saying I would rather stay at home,
all right, with a good book, because that's the other
thing I do on vacation. Vacations, I end up buying books,
(21:58):
But then I just wish I was home reading because
then you buy a book on vacation and then everybody's like, no,
I come to the beach with us, everything like that,
and then then after all.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Whad books on the beach all the time?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't want to stand in my pages. I don't.
I don't want the binding of my book to be
dirtied with the soiled sweat of the earth.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Wow. Okay, so you can sit by the pool, because
most hotels have pools. You can sit by the pool
and read a.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Book and get splashed with chlorine on my pristine new book.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Listen. I don't. I can't want this for you. I'm
just trying to figure out. I guess I understand, like
there's times that I really want to be home, right,
and then there's times from just like I think. The
other thing for me is like I'm single. Mm hmm,
so being in my house by myself for an extended
(22:54):
period of time just makes me sad mm hmm. Like
if there was another human being in my house, maybe
even a cat, there was another living creature in my house. Well,
another mammal. There's another mammal in my house.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Another more more specific. Every time I don't uh so.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Something I can hug an ear, then I might be
more inclined to be home more. But like I remember,
I was like out like a couple of months ago,
and one of my friends were like, oh, it's like
one in the morning, are you going home? And I
was like, why, there's nobody at my house and he
just started laughing. I was like, what he's thinking, It
(23:39):
is very good. I've no want to go home to
I'm gonna get in the house. When I left, it
was just me. When I got home, it was just me.
These dishes only get washed when I feel like doing them,
and I never felt like doing them. So I think
for me, like going on trips and stuff, it's like
it's really just trying to get to the beach. But
(24:01):
I think that's like the beach is like a relaxing
place for me.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Okay, so how about this. I'll pitch you this. I'll
ask you this. If you live somewhere with a beach,
would you go on vacations if the beach was already there,
It's already outside the window. You can see it. You
can just peek out your blinds and see the beach.
You know, you can just stare at it out your
window like a pervert. Right, You're still going on vacations now,
(24:35):
I don't know, because that's my thing is that if
you got the right environment, a staycation is better than
a vacation because you already know you want to be
at the place that you are.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Well, I guess like that's why I started buying better
seats on planes because the hardest part was just like
just being hemmed up, just shrapped in this tube in
the sky, trying not to pee because I'm in a
window seat and I had to climb over to two
(25:04):
other adults. What all I'm just trying to do was just,
you know, look for the latrine. So just that, so
like just traveling in a different way, And like I
remember there was one time I was in lax and
I don't know if some flights had got canceled or
what happened, but there were people fucking everywhere. I was like,
(25:27):
is this a bus station? What the hell happening here?
Because I was like I was excuse, you know, because
like Costa was telling me, He's like, oh, you should
get a membership in the Delta Lounge in the American Lines,
I'm like, I don't think I need that. And there
was a thousand humans, truly thousands of people, and it
was stressing me out. So I was like, let me
go in the Delta sky Club. And I walked in there,
(25:51):
and I was like, is the air different in here?
Like it was just a different vibe because it wasn't
a million people stressed out about getting on a plane.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Very interesting, very interesting. So you went to an airport
and you were getting overwhelmed by the amount of people
around you and and their franticness, their chaos was was
it was coming at you funny. So you wanted to
get away from that, so you went to a sky lounge,
which is only replicating a staycation.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
A sky lounge is not representing a stacation. And you know,
good and damn well, it's not. It's a whole barn
here it's free because you're still try it's a lounge, Josh,
it's not. I'm currently in the green room of the show.
I don't think I'm in a living room. I know
I'm in a room that is designated for people to
wait in.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
It's not a lounge that moves. It's a lounge that
stays right where it is.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
You know, the whole airport doesn't move. I still have
to leave this lounge to go to my flight. No, this.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Is a point for me.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
I am not making a point for you, because how
about this. They could make the whole airport. That's the
thing that to make it exclusive, because like you're in
a first class seat, you automatically get it right when
you are paying to have a different type of experience
than there is going to be food and drinks because
(27:17):
I paid you more to not be in the franticness
of the people who are getting on a Spirit Airline
flight or whatever, or group nine. Like, that's why it's
gonna sound very lead. Some people are gonna be upset.
That's not my problem, and I not knowing.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
You really came for group nine.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
That's listen. You think I wasn't in group nine.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You think when I started trying.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
We've all been in group nine. When you start going
on the road, you are a group eight, Group nine,
group six. And then when you start whacking up these
frequent flyer miles because you work the more freaking flyer miles,
you get the earlier you can get on a So
I'm always gonna be Sky priority no matter where I
(28:04):
sit on this plane because I have four hundred thousand
miles with Delta.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I think that, you know, we should also point out
that group nine if you're not aware, if you're a
listener and you're not actually someone who's had the misfortune
of being in group nine, you're basically outside the plane.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, you're holding on the way the wing. Yeah you're
that monster on that episode of Twilight Zone who is
terrorizing a very young William Chatner like you're holding onto
the plane for dear life. Also, by the time they
get to group nine, if you don't have a backpack,
that rolling your rolling backs, not getting on the plane
(28:43):
group nine, it's just not no.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
They tell you ahead of time, they tell you they
don't even try.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Don't even try. You are in group nine. Go ahead,
gate check this. Stop playing with people, so you start traveling.
It's you, So you work your way up.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
So can throw this out there to you. You know
what type of place does not have this sort of
hierarchy where you have to work your way up through
money and time and expenses. Is a home. You know,
I don't know that. That's that's true my basement. I
want to sit in my basement for you know, thirty
extra minutes because I'm in group nine.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
First of all, you don't have a basement.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
You don't know my life like that.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I do know your life like that.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I know you don't have no business out there.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Baby, I don't have a basement.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
You never heard of. No, maybe maybe there's a basement.
Look base im, you don't.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Have a basement. The building you're in might have a basement,
but where you say, ain't got no basement. So that's
I play this game. We are only dealing with true
facts and experiences, and in your experience, your black as
ain't got no basement. So I don't want to play
this game. Okay. And the thing is because of time
and experience spent, don't you live in a better apartment
(29:54):
now than you did when you first moved in New York?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
M See, I want to give it to you. But
those are leases.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
No, no, no, no no no, it's not about a lease. You're
talking about a staycation. So where you stay is going
to determine how your cation goes. Right, So when you
and over your very first apartment in New York with
whoever you were staying with, would you want cause so
when you're doing staycation, you're like a solid week at
(30:26):
home doing nothing. So your first apartment when you first
moved to New York, would you have wanted to do
a staycation in that apartment?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I don't even know if I want to talk about it,
you know, no, no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
No no no no no no no.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, I mean my first apartment in New York was
a hallway. So that's that's uh to your point. I
see what you mean that that you work your way
up eventually. I guess I just feel like since I've
lived in the same apartment for years now, I don't But.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
But you had to work, and that's time to get
to the plant where you could afford to live in
an apartment that you would stay in for a week.
Because your other apartment was a tornado drill. Sure, yeah,
see that's not a place you wanted to stay caation. No,
where you stay now with someplace you want to stay caation.
(31:29):
So if you're living in a situation like that, you
would not want to stay there. You would put your
coins together, peel them apart, if you got to you
would collect your coins together and get on that jet
food flight because you can get an eighty dollars ticket
to the Caribbean on Jet Blue and be in a
(31:50):
nice seat and take luggage with you.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I didn't know those things.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
They got a great Listen, It's not that expensive to
get to the Bahamas. It's really not. That's why people
always go. Bama's expensive to go to. That's why I
was like, listen, if I can't deal with a man
who can at least give me to the Bahamas, bro we,
why am I let you see my tips? It's stupid.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Look peak staycation versus peak vacation. I'm trying to stay
cation every time. I want to get enough money to
have a nice enough house to where I never want
to leave, and that's the ultimate staycation experience.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
But do you not want to leave because your house
is so expensive?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, I probably can't afford to leave now, Like.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Well that was a crazy thing, Like this is what
kind of happened, like because of the RONI where it
was like that's why we ran into furniture, because everybody
was in their apartments being like, oh wait a minute,
I got to be in here all day, every day
for months. Oh, we need to change it. Shut up,
I'm losing my mind in here, because that was the
thinking I think I got, like a lot of That's
(32:56):
why so many people like left New York because it's
like you for work at like eight in the morning,
you might not come and if you go, you might
not come back until eight to ten o'clock at night
or even later, and then you just go to sleep.
So you weren't even in your apartment that long. So
you're like, I can handle this. You know. Yes, the door,
(33:17):
the bathroom door hits the toilet when I open the door,
but I'm not here that off anyway, it don't matter.
And then now you're in there because Uther Roney, and
it's like, oh shit, this is I gotta get the
hell about it here. You know that feeling that you
get when you're on vacation, like you don't have any
respond like you don't like you don't like that feeling.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I have that feeling at home, and here's there's no.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, there's no way.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I get that feeling hard at home.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Wow you're home.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah, I don't. I don't care about anything. I'm like, oh,
you know, you know it's about to get read this book,
you know about to get watched this show. Oh, I'm
in it. I seemless to my apartment because I know
what's near me. I don't I don't even think. I
don't even think you'd be ready for the level of
staycation experience that I experienced. I think I think your
(34:15):
mind would be blown.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Is that just reading a book and ordering foods you
eat all the time?
Speaker 2 (34:24):
What can I say? I got a good life.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I can't stand you.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I will say, though, the thing that you mentioned about
vacations and how it, especially in the pandemic, people wanted
to get out there and have new experiences. I understand that,
Like I I get that. I'm it's not even new experiences.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
It's just like leaving. You weren't in your house shaking
in fear for a year and a half. It was like,
I'm finally not mortified to step outside my house. What
if we got on a plane?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I think that's the campaign. It's like that makes sense,
and I do understand the feeling. I'm just like being
in your house and not having to do anything. But
I think a staycation is just a weekend.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Ooh, ooh. That that's that's where I have to slow
you down. That's where I have to back you up.
That's where I have to stop you.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Okay, you have never talked to me like this before.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
A staycation is as long as the imagination lets it go.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Now, staycation as far as long as you are on vacation.
Then the next thing you wake up and go to work.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah, but you you can be on staycation until the
minute you leave that apartment, that house, that condo, that trailer,
that car. It's about the mind. You know, You're You're
the one that that's like hooked on the parameters of
an itinerary. You have to be on that flight by
a certain time or else you're not coming back.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Planes fly daily. You can always get a plane back.
You can always get baby. No.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Fair Yeah, fair enough, that that makes sense. I see
what you mean now of how vacations can be great
and why people want to go on them. I'm I'm
with you.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
See, And and I also can understand because like every
since like this thing started to open back up, I
was like, oh, I don't this feels too open, Like
I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, some people are nasty. Some people you. You're like, oh,
you should still be in lockdown.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Yeah, you should still be in lockdown. You should be
in handcuffed. So yeah, it's like I understand. But what
I do also like, this is what I like what
I'm on vacation. I don't like running around and doing
a bunch of shit because, like, guess why, I like
getting like a hotel, like a balcony or like an
airbeit like a balcony, like I'm gonna be able to
just sit outside and enjoy the air of another place.
(37:01):
I don't like running around having a full ituner race.
So it's like, I guess sometimes I'll do a staycation
while I'm on a vacation. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm with you. I want to get
not only just your thoughts, but the thoughts of the listeners.
Let us know what you think. You know, are you
a vacation person staycation person? Do you think one of
us is absolutely crazy? It's probably me. I understand that
I have very unpopular opinions about things.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Oh, people probably agree with you. They're like, no, I'm
trying to stay in the house, you know, because sometimes.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I feel like a rich person agrees with me. I
feel like, ah, I feel like anybody with money is
probably going to agree with me. I'm just glad that
we could find some common ground, you know. I want
to thank you will Say for being a co host
with me. I want to thank you the listener for
listening to the episode. And we're going to be back
next week with an all new hold Up. Listen to
(37:58):
hold Up on the iHeartRadio app podcast or wherever you
get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Wow.
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