May 10, 2024 • 46 mins
The Eds are celebrating all the moms in their lives. But, who almost forgot a Mother’s Day gift? Remember the robot baby from Season 9 of RHOC? Eddie shares why it tested his parenting skills.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the DS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyave
the husbands know best too, Cheese production. Can you believe
we'rere episode five already?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Man? It is flying by.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We are back for episode five, and since Mother's Day
is right around the corner, we're going to talk about motherhood.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yes, and Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms
out there.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All the beautiful moms. Hey, real quick before we get going,
do you have the same holiday as my? Well, yeah,
you're Latin American. In Latin American they celebrated on the
tenth and in America they celebrated every Sunday, right maybe yeah, yeah,
so it's.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
The tenth, But I just always usually celebrated on Sunday.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
You know. Funny story, man.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
So this three days ago, Teddy's assistant sends me a text, Hey,
Mother's Day's coming up, Mark. I don't know when I
think of Mother's Day, I still think of my mom. Yeah,
like I still think of mom my mom first and
then Teddy. Which I'm probably gonna in trouble for saying.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
That, but yes you will. So I'm like, oh, yeah,
can you get give me some stuff from alo My?
I'm like, she loves alo and then she sends me
like this black sweatsuit, right, and and I'm like, no,
she likes colorful. She likes everything very colorful. And anyways,
I'm on my call and then I'm like, oh, shoot,
(01:31):
she's talking about Teddy. I'm like, hey, by the way,
I was talking about my mom, not Teddy. So like seriously,
I'm just like, I'm such a mama's boy. You know
my dad, you know, before he went in jail, like
he said, hey, you got one thing I want you
to always remember. He's like, you got one mom. You
(01:53):
need to take care of her.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
And you know, things are you know, one of my
mentors ed, my lad always says things are caught, not taught.
And I always saw how much my dad would take
care of his mom. Yeah, and it's why I've always
taken care of my mom because as a kid, I'd
always see my dad like my dad would always get
in front of, you know, my mom and say, hey,
(02:15):
don't mess with my mom, right, And I would see that,
and I've sort of become the same way. And then
that's why I visit moms every Saturday, my kids. I
take my kids with me because I want them to see, Hey,
you got one mom, you take care of her first.
You know, you know your mom's not going to be
around as long as maybe your wife, right, so you
want to make sure that you're taking care of mom.
So anyways, I have this thing where I'm such a
(02:37):
big mama's boy that I'm like, Mother's Day is like
my Mom's Day, but you know Teddy.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Then I go celebrate with Teddy as well. But yeah,
I got to get better at it.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I was just going to say, and it's very
convenient to have a Latin American Mother's Day and then
a regular American Mother's Day because you can celebrate it
in two separate days. I mean, I don't I don't
know how it goes when you're celebrating your mom and
your wife and you know, maybe another generation of moms,
you know, all at the same time.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Teddy loves them when I celebrate both of them at
the same time, and they get matching.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Gifts, so there's no jealousy. That's hilarious. Well, let me
let me ask you this. When you were looking for
a partner, how much did motherhood contribute to your decision?
I think you hit on this a little bit, But
tell me a little bit more about why Teddy.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I mean, I think that was one of the number
one reasons that I decided that I wanted to marry her.
In fact, now as I look back at pictures, there's
a picture of her of Teddy basically raising Bella. My
daughter is a Bella like this when she's a year old,
and there's like this big smile. I'm looking at Teddy
the way she's holding my daughter, and I knew that.
(03:57):
I remember that moment like it was yesterday, because I'm like,
she's the one I need, because you know, you always
want to at least for me, I wanted to marry
someone that I knew would be a good mom. More
than anything. I wanted that. I wanted to marry someone
that was going to be a good mom, and.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Teddy's exceeded all those expectations. Can you tell me a
little bit about what your mom did to embed that?
And You're like, well, obviously we get this from our parents.
We are our parents, right, So what did you learn
from your mom that that kind of solidified that you
want that from a partner.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
You know, we had humble beginnings, right, so we didn't
have much I mentioned on the first episode that we
lived in this tiny little bedroom without any windows. Right,
it was four of us living in this bedroom, so
it wasn't the best living conditions. But I always had love.
My mom always showed me a lot of love, and
that's the one part I remembered. And she would always like,
figure out a way to put me in sports and
(04:57):
just get me out of like potential t bubble. And
she just worked her butt off for us, and I
saw how much she cared, and it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Just really I felt the love.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And I'm like, I want to I want to be
able to show that, and I want the person I
marry to be able to show that to my kids.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Is that love?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
And and Teddy's great with that, And again it's it's
one of the reasons why I was like, this is
going to be my wife. Yeah, yeah, what about you?
What do you think about that? Is was obviously yours
you met, uh. I think when you got married, Tamara
obviously had kids, right was it three year?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
How many kids? Four?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
She had four, Ryan, Spencer, Sophia, and Sydney. And when
I first met her, Ryan was already an adult essentially,
you know, he wasn't a kid kid and Sophia was
the littlest kid, and she was just so uh, neutral
(05:55):
and open and loving and and and playful, you know,
just like most kids are at that age. And Sydney
and Spencer were about the same age. They were, I
think in their teenage years, and they were a little
bit you know, standoffish because of all the negative stuff
that their father would put in their head. Right, I mean,
at least the first two years they they didn't want
(06:16):
to be around me. You can totally see that as
they got older and things changed between you know, what
they knew and what they learned, they figured it out
and they realized, Okay, maybe Eddie is not such a
bad guy, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know what I think is is so cool is
that you know, sometimes women that you know, maybe get
divorced or have kids, they think, oh, no, one's gonna
want to marry me because I don't because I have kids.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Now, what's going to want that? Right? And I think
it was so great that you didn't even care about that, right?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Was it was that something that ever crossed your mind, like,
I don't know if I want to marry her because
she's got kids.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Did that ever crossed your mind or was it? Did
you just know, like, Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
That's actually a very good question, because I've thought about
that many times, Like, you know, sitting here, how did
I end up in a relationship with four kids that
are not mine?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
You know, especially because you didn't have any kids either, right, right?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Right? I don't have any kids in my own and
that's because I never wanted kids in my own. Tama
and I have talked about this before. It was one
of those kind of things about, well, I didn't have
a really great upbringing, you know, a stable upbringing, if
you will. I kind of had to do it all
on my own. And I always had this thought like
(07:35):
why would I bring a child into this world that
is so difficult, so hard, And you know, I had love,
I had family, I had affection, but you know, we
didn't get to do a whole lot of things, you know,
And that was just my mentality growing up. The other part,
the other side of it, was understanding. When I finally
(07:56):
understood okay, you need money to do things, I thought, well,
if I can't support myself, then how the hell am
I going to support another being? And it wasn't until
I can make enough money and make a good living
that I could, you know, afford to have a child.
And by then, I think I was in my mid
(08:16):
thirties and I was already kind of thinking I really
don't want children at this point in my life. You know,
it would have been nice and maybe in my mid
twenties if I was financially stable and it all made sense.
But that's I think those are the two reasons why
I never had kids of my own. And interestingly enough,
this is the other thought that always comes through my head.
(08:39):
I've dated a lot of women in my life that
have had children, you know, whether it's one or two kids,
and I never never considered it as a problem. Like,
you know, I had a relationship with a woman who
had two kids, and my experience was that she took
care of them. She was there, her responsibility and her
(09:02):
mother and when it came to me, I really couldn't
step in as a father because their father was still
alive and still in the picture. But she made damn
sure that those kids respected me, and they respected everybody
at any adult in their life. Right. So that's kind
of the only experience I had where Okay, so this
(09:24):
is how it can work, you know. But I was
still scared. I was scared that you know, I'm not
going to be able to afford to raise the child, right,
It's expensive.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Seriously, I love that answer so much because there's probably
a lot of women out there that are in relationships
right now that they know they wi want to leave,
but they're like, they're afraid they'll never be able to
find someone better. And you know, you're you're a great
testament that there are some great guys out there if
you're not in a good place, right, because I know
(09:56):
there's a lot of women that are fearful of that,
like if I leave, I have three kids, kids, and no,
they're not I'm not going to be able to find anyone.
And there's always someone, right, especially if you're not in
a good relationship. And you know, I know many women
that stay unfortunately abusive relationships just because they're scared to
be alone, right, Because again, they're a great example of that.
(10:19):
So yeah, man, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Well that was a deep them.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
By the way, one of the things that you said
actually makes a lot of sense to me as far
as like you know, looking at your children as like
it costs a lot of money to have children, and
at least for me, I mean, if it was up
to me, I'd have more kids. But sometimes if you
have a ton of them, you're kind of taking away
from the other ones because if you don't have enough
(10:47):
to support all of them, and you're sort of taking
some options and opportunities from your other kids.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
If you just decide to have.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
You know, eight kids, all of a sudden, you have
eight kids. You can't send all of them to private school,
right or you better be making more money if you're
gonna have eight kids. Yeah, you know, you just there's
certain things that get taken away if you have too many.
So I've always been to that thinking as well as like,
can I afford to have another kid so I could
(11:17):
give them the things that I want.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
To be able to provide for them, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
So again, some people don't think about that. I'm not
saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying I thought
about it that way, where Okay, four I can handle.
I don't know if I could finance, well, I might
be able to handle another one. But that's another story
for Teddy.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Well. The interesting thing is that my grandmother, who was
the one that brought me to the United States, she
had eight kids, so I have like four or five
uncles and my aunt and my mom, and they didn't
grow up with money. You know, they didn't have money.
But how she and she pretty much raised them on
(11:59):
her own. So how the hell did she do it?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
And and and you know it was love, right raise them? Love? Yeah,
Love and affection I think is the most valuable commodity
out there. If you don't And honestly, you can grow
up with all the money in the world, but if
you don't have love, it's empty. It's an empty life.
(12:29):
I have a question for you. I just found out
that Slate and Cruise were conceived via I v F
and Dove was natural.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
One.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
What was that like going through I v F.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah, So Teddy had a hard time with getting pregnant,
and when we first had Slate, in my head, I
always thought like, you're gonna have nothing but girls like
that was literally my thought, right, So when we we're
gonna do IBF again, I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Like, man, I gotta have a boy. Like what if
I end up not having a boy?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Like?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I want my boy.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
So I actually asked Teddy, well, if we're gonna go
kind of the first level, why don't we take it
all the way and let's ensure that I have a boy.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
But you can do this in IBF.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, you can do that in IBF. It's like a
second you know. I'm sure Teddy can explain it better,
but yeah, it's like a second level of or third
level where you can pick the sex of the baby.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So it sounds like like you can design your own baby.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Well, that's why I had a problem with it because
for vanity reasons, I kind of wanted my boy. I
just wanted a boy that you know, everybody wants their boy. Yeah,
And the way they do it is obviously they get
the eggs, they get the sperm, they mix it and
then it'll tell you you got x many girls, you
got x many.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Boys, right, wow.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Well we did it three different times and it kept failing.
But each time we did it, I'm not exaggerating, it
was ninety five percent female and like one boy, so
we of course put the one boy in. The first
one she had a miscarriage. Then we did a second
round and same thing, ninety five percent.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Girls, one boy.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
We put the boy in didn't make it. So finally
on the last one we did it again, and this
time I told Teddy Hey, it doesn't work. It's not
meant to be. Maybe it's not meant for me to
have boys, right, And we did it again and it worked.
And then but the whole time I.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Was struggling with it because I'm like, am I trying
to play god here? Like I didn't feel right about it,
and because every time it was a miscarriage.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Well, all of a sudden, six months passed by. Everything's
great anyway. The day of the birth, I'm in my
head about it and I'm like, I hope nothing goes
wrong today because I did this because I was struggling
with it. It wasn't an easy decision for me. Yeah,
and then sure enough Cruz comes out and he's not breathing.
And then all of a sudden, I don't know, fifteen
doctors come in. They pushed me to the side. You know,
(15:05):
my mom's in there, my sister's in there there crying.
I can't see. I'm trying to look over to see
what's up with Cruise, and it's just silence. And then Teddy.
I just hear Teddy screaming, like, what's wrong with the baby.
What's wrong with the baby? You don't hear a cry,
it's silent for I want to say at least a minute.
It felt like fifteen, and all of a sudden he
(15:28):
cries and everything's fine, but then they take them immediately
out and he spent the entire night in the nick
you and I think he was there for a couple
of days, and it was just scary. And while that
was going on, I was like praying to God. I
was like, God, I'll never do that again. Please, just
(15:48):
you know, save them. I promise you I'll never do
it again. And that was it and I'll never do
it again. And then with Dove, we you know, it
came natural. We're like, we weren't expecting it were.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Like, what you could have a baby. And then there
was this.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Slight hope that she would be a boy because I
wanted two boys and two girls, like that would be perfect.
And I was like, it's going to be a boy.
I know it's going to be a boy.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Sure enough.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Another female. So I'm a female maker, Yes you are.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I would have had.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I'm if we would have done if we wouldn't have
done IBF, I would have had nothing but girls.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And I just have had friends that have had that
scenario where there's like fifteen girls in the house and
they're just going crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, and then there's some males that just have nothing,
but I mean some some guys that just have nothing
but boys. Yeah, that's funny because I hear the guys
the one that actually determines what sex comes out this
from when I yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
I don't know, but I've heard rumors that it depends on,
you know, how you do it, if it's you know, missionary,
or if it's you know, other animals.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I did all kinds of positions didn't work for me.
It was off. So tell me we saw what a
robot baby? She's a nine on the show? What was
that about or whose idea was that?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Well, you know, it was the same subject about do
I want kids? I can't tell you. If I had
a dollar for every time somebody asked me that question,
I think I'd make a lot of money. But it
was a scene or an episode. I should say that
with film where she asked me, do you you sure
you don't want kids? And I said, no, I don't
want kids, and they somehow produced a robot child that
(17:40):
you literally had to carry like a baby and if
it starts crying, you put your finger in its mouth,
or you put the bottle in its mouth like a
real baby, and every single and it's kind of random,
how it's computerized and it cries randomly, and it was
probably as real as it could get to having a baby.
And here's the thing about me and kids. There's there's
(18:04):
one thing that I do know about me and babies.
They seem so fragile to me that I was always
afraid of picking up babies. You know, I was that
guy like I don't want to pick it up. I'm
gonna heard it, I'm gonna squeeze it. You know, it's
so fragile. So I was afraid of babies. But when
it's a robot baby, I was a little bit more relaxed.
They're like, okay, I could do with And we ended
(18:25):
up taking turns, and you know, she took care of
him when he cried. I took care of when he cried.
I think we named them astro like, oh, I love that.
I think it came from the Jetsons.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
But I knew we weren't meant to have kids because
I think by day three or four, the baby wouldn't
stop crying. And Tamra took it downstairs, came back to sleep,
and the next morning I found the baby in the
couch behind the pillows, not breathing. So I said, yeah,
we're not gonna have kids. Yeah, it was funny, it
(19:06):
was a good time. It was interesting to experience that though.
You know, one thing that I do, I think you've
shared it with me too. But every guy I know,
every friend that I know that has ever shared their
experience about having a kid, and that whole birth experience,
(19:27):
it's like the most magical experience you ever experienced in life,
right like, this is this is you, this is part
of you coming to the world. That's probably something I
will never experience in my life. And that's probably the
only thing that I regret not having in life, you know,
But there's so many other things in life that I
experience that you know, I am very fortunate to be
(19:50):
in love and in a relationship where I just I
adore my wife and I know I can't imagine life
without her, you know. It's I adore the kid. I
just this is this is a good life. You know.
I'm not deprived in any way, you know, But that's
that's the only thing that every friend of mine, male
even just male friend of mine just told me like,
(20:13):
this is the most magical experience you'll ever have in
your life.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
So, speaking of magical experiences, I decided because it's such
a magical experience. When Teddy was having the baby, I
filmed the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Really. I was so excited, like literally filmed the baby's
head coming out. And I was so excited that I
sent the video to John, her dad, her sister Mice,
and he was so upset, Why did you show my
vagina to everyone? But I was just so excited. I
(20:47):
was like, oh shit, I got this on video, Like
dad's gonna want her dad's gonna want to see this
magical moment. So, like a dumbass, I sent a video
to her dad or sister, and you know, so they
still make fun of me because I sent you know, Dad,
he's jj going baby coming out, So yeah, who knows,
Maybe I'll send you the video you can watch the
(21:07):
magical moment. What advice You've obviously been a great step dad,
what advice would you give to someone that is maybe
just got married to someone that has you know, kids,
(21:29):
and you know what, what's I guess the best advice
you you would give for somebody stepping into that step
dad role.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I would say, I mean, it depends on a lot
of variables. Because if you have a dad who's just
a but he's still a dad and and is willing
to be a part of the children's life, you can't
you can't take that role, you know, those that's the
(21:58):
father's role. So your role is just to be there
and be a positive role model for the children and
if they need anything, you help, you let them come
to you. Essentially. That's that's just my experience, right. There's
there's been other you know, friends that are been in
my shoes that say, you know, opposite, they want to
take an active role, they want to be there and
(22:20):
and sort of prevent the kids from going, you know,
rogue because their father is such a right in other
circumstances which I've never experienced, where the father is not
in the picture or he's a deadbeat dad, that's that's
where I would step in and say, okay, kids, whatever
you need, anytime you need them, and and and you know,
(22:40):
follow through as a real like step father where you're
in there being the father role.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
But I just felt that always if the dad is
willing to do or be a part, no matter what
much of it is. If he's willing to be part
of the children's life, you can't take that role. You
can't be a step dad, right, You can't really have
two dads. The father's role is equally as important as
(23:07):
the mother's role, and you can't. You can't blur that
by saying, well, I'm your dad too, right, right, Yeah,
it'll be mixed signals to the kids.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
So were you.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
More of had to be a dad or were you
able to maybe not be as much as involved with
like dad decisions because dad has been around.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
No, I wasn't as involved with dad decisions because dad
was around, and that was typically something that that was
a triage between Tamra and her ex and the kids.
You know, that was their role. So when it came
to you know, particularly disciplinary actions, and I understand why
(23:49):
she made this decisions she's made before, but at the
time I was like, how come you're not being disciplinary?
How come you're not you know, disciplining in the kids
or giving them the structure. Understand it now in hindsight,
but at the time it was like, well, you know,
I don't want to get into this with her. Because
it's her children and it's his children, and unless she
(24:09):
wants me to give my advice, I really can't step
in there and say you should do this, because that
would just cause a fight with us, you know what
I mean. They're not my kids, they're there kids, and
they still hold that mutual responsibility of making sure the
kids are healthy and happy. So yeah, my role was
(24:31):
really just to be a a arm to lean on,
someone you know, to talk to. But unfortunately for the children,
their father brainwashed them so much that they were afraid
to open up to me or ask me for anything.
And it's not until now like most of the most
(24:52):
of the kids except for Sophia, and she's getting to
that point where they're starting to feel like comfortable about
themselves and comfortable and having conversations with me and asking
me for stuff. But for a very long time, it
was very much like no, my dad said, you're a
bad person, and my dad said, you know, not to
like you. My dad said, it was ingrained in their heads.
(25:15):
So I understand, you know, if I totally understand what
they went.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Through, well, shout out to step dads that are good guys.
I've been blessed to have you know, my daughter's got
a stepdad and he's been completely awesome. I couldn't have
asked for a better step dad on my end, and
I know you've been great as well.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
So yeah, and that's actually great. I wish it was
like that. I wish we could have conversations about the
kids like that, because it really is for the benefit
of the kids. You know, just because your relationship doesn't
work with that person doesn't mean your kids have to suffer.
So I wish it was like that.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
So I have a.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Question for you. Tamer was telling me that Teddy has
been very open about her postpartum struggles. How did you
show support did that? How do you how do you
help somebody going through postpartum because I heard that's like
a severe case of depression.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, I man, I'm I didn't even know it was
going on. I mean I was so into I mean,
I was working so much that I had no idea
she was even going through that. I want to say
that I found out because I think I saw what
(26:31):
she was researching, and I was like, she depressed, Why
is she researching this stuff? And then then that's when
I asked her, and then that's when she told me,
but I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Well, I just caught.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
It, did you you didn't notice any signs?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Like she No, I mean she was.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
She was pretty good with like when I got home, like,
I honestly didn't see her. Maybe I was so into
my work that I didn't even notice. I mean, it
was probably more about me not noticing and just you
know that that's probably my fault on that I probably
should have seen it. But yeah, no, I That's how
I found out.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Is when you found out, how did you handle it
or did you guys get professional help or did you
guys just read and research and figure it out?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Well, so I asked her, Hey, is are you depressed?
Are you going through? Because you know, I I just
never I don't know much about that kind of stuff.
You know. I've always been one that's just kind of like, no,
you just that stuff doesn't exist, right, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Now obviously I know, But at the time, I had
no idea. I was just like you, just what do
you mean you just figure stuff out?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Like yeah, like, what do you mean, I don't I
don't get that stuff.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
And no, yeah, then she you know, she started working
on herself and and but.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I don't think she I don't think she got therapy.
If I'm trying to remember, I don't think she got therapy,
but or maybe she'd. Yeah, there's those years were.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I want to say that was probably twenty fourteen. Yeah,
those were those were some of these tough years that
her and I had. So I was kind of I
was in laala land myself when that was going on.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
It Do you think that's kind of a normal thing
when you get married, you build a life together, and
you have kids, and then it's another struggle, and then
the kids finally grow up and leave the house, and
then you're just empty nesters and now it's a struggle
and you know, all those severe life changes.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yeah, I think it's just it's like different cycles I
guess that you're going through. But we were, you know,
I was working all the time, and then she was
staying with the kids.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
You know, she was staying at home.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
And she was kind of like I'd come home and
she'd have her friends there and they'd be you know,
you know, hanging out.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
And you know there's a.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Part too that I was, you know, not upset, but
I'm like, man, I'm working all day and every time
I come home.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
It's just like the girls are all hanging out, you know,
like and yeah, and there was like no food and
I was like, what have you been doing all day?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
So there was a part of now that that was
just me being selfish at the time, Like I wasn't
you know, I was just not in a good place myself.
I was, you know, I there was a part of
me that was just like, Oh, you've been here all day,
what's going on?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You know, I've been working all day? And it was
just this it was a me problem at the time.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, well I could totally see how that could happen. Yeah,
when you're when when as an entrepreneur, when you've set
your mind to accomplish something, everything else kind of fades away.
It becomes a shadow until you come out of it
and you're like, where am I? Oh I have a family?
Yeah exactly, Oh, okay, I have kids. Did you see
(30:05):
Teddy become a different person when she became a mom,
like or when she had her own children?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Did she She's always been?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I mean she you know, that's the beautiful thing about
Teddy's that I didn't see really much difference from when
Bella came out to the way Slate came out.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
She treated them both the same. That's awesome, and I
mean that's.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Again I was I saw how much she loved Bella,
and then again when Slate came out, at least I
couldn't see the difference, right, And even to this day,
it's you know, she treats Bella like like if like
if she's her own, you know, which is.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Again just a lot of love. So yeah, she's always
been great.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I think that's amazing. And one of the most important
parts about you know, having a family, you know, is
being able to treat a child that's yours, it's that's
not yours, like that's yours.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You know, when you when you uh, now, let me
ask you this.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
When you were you know, obviously step Dad did you
was there a part of you that wanted to be
a little bit of a role model with them, and
you know, just showing them kind of again, things aren't taught.
They're caught showing them what a you know, what a
good person kind of lives by.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
And oh yeah, one hundred percent. I wanted to influence
them as much as I could, you know, because I
felt like I've made it through life, I've struggled, and
you know, and and and I can teach them a
little bit about that. And the irony is is that
our kids grew up pretty privileged. You know, we live
(31:46):
in Orange County in a very beautiful area. You know,
we have a pretty good living, and they've never ever
relative to me and relative to even kids that you know,
let's say kids, this is out of context, but kids
in Africa, you know who, you know, born in the jungle.
My struggle was was not like that. But I struggled.
(32:09):
And when these kids come to me and or they
tell their mom, you know, life is so hard, like
I don't get it, you know, Can I can I
talk to you about this?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
You know?
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Can I teach you? You know what? Can I take
you down town and show you how people really are
struggling so you can understand what real struggle is. And
I never got the opportunity to do that. You know,
I really think that's a valuable lesson. When you take
somebody outside their bubble and take them to a community
where there are people that are really struggling. I think
(32:39):
it'll open up people's eyes, especially kids, especially when they're
little and they're impressionable, and they realize, you know what,
I have it freaking pretty damn good, right, because all
they have to compare themselves with is other kids in
the neighborhood who obviously might have ten times more than
we have. You know, while our kids are getting brand
(33:01):
new Mas, does you know their friends might be getting
brand new Lamborghinis, right, right?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
Yeah, It's so important for them to see what it
looks on the other side, right, because you don't know
what you don't know, right. And I also think in
the same way, it's important if you don't grow up
with much to at least go touch the dream once
in a while, you know, take your kids to some
nice areas so that they can see, whoa, there's a
(33:29):
whole different lifestyle here.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Maybe I want a piece of this, right Yeah, But
if you never exposed them to it, why would they
want it? Exactly?
Speaker 3 (33:36):
If they don't know any different, right, right, It's almost
like so it goes both ways, yeah right, So you
know for me, I know that was such a big
part of me, is that I was exposed to even
though we didn't grow up with money, I was exposed
to like nice areas, and being exposed to those nice
areas made me realize like, wait a minute, this is where.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I want to live. Yeah, I don't want to live there,
you know, And I think back, if I wouldn't have
been exposed to it, you don't know what you don't know, right,
You can't improve on something you're not aware of. So
I think it goes both ways on that for sure.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah, But what do you think as far as like
what about like I'm big on this is like not
getting smashed in front of the kids.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
What I mean like I don't drunk drink.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, like I yeah, very particular about I can drink.
They could see me drink, but you'll never see me.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Smashed in front of my kids.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah, you know, I'm very particular with that because again,
things are caught not topped right right, they start seeing
you get smashed all of a sudden, they're like, oh,
it's okay to get smashed, right.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
So were you did you take that into consideration in
front of the.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Kids or yes? Yes, between that which was not a
problem because you know, I wasn't a big drinker. I
think I've been drunk the two or three times here
in this house I live in, and two of them
were when I was single. You know, and usually when
we have parties, the kids are at their friend's house, right,
so we had we had we had a few rules.
(35:13):
One of the biggest rules is we don't fight in
front of the kids. You know, we don't curse at
each other and put each other down in front of
the kids. I think that one thing I don't remember
how I learned, but one thing I learned is that
kids will emulate you more than repeat what you say
than what they learned elsewhere. Right, they can read it
(35:34):
in a book how to be, but if they grow
up in an abusive household, they're going to be abusive too,
regardless of you know, what they've read or what they've
learned in school. So it was important to me to
understanding that, to know that the kids are very impressionable,
and I believe from what I understand, it's the first
six to eight years of their life where they're the
(35:54):
most absorbent of everything, you know, and once they absorb it,
it's not going anywhere. No amount of therapy is gonna
take it away.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
That's so true.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
And by the way, no one, no matter, no one's perfect.
So the idea is it happens less and less and
less but like once in a while, I'll still blur
like a bad word and I don't realize that the kids.
So this last Sunday, I'm taking uh.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Uh, we're going to church.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
It's dub and I and cruise and someone cuts me
off and I'm like and then all of a sudden,
in the back.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Seat, she didn't skip a beat. She's like, I'm like,
oh no, no, starts laughing. I start laughing. I'm just sorry, kids,
I did not mean to say that.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Sorry, sorry, sorry funny.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
And right away she says it. She's like a freaking parrot.
She repeats anything funny.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
The best ones there when they go to school and
say it, and the teacher is like, what are you
teaching your kids?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Kids are funny, so funny. I think that's all I
got for you.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Uh yeah, I think you know what. I have a
couple ones for you. Still, so no, So.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Was there ever any part of you that wanted biological children?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
The only time, like I said earlier, is when my
friends would share that, Like you could really see that
magic in their eyes when they're telling me the story
about what it's like having your own kid right and
watching the birth. That's it. That's the only time I've
ever thought, you know, maybe it would be nice to
have my own kid another time. And this was recently.
(37:41):
Now that I'm in my fifties, I'm thinking, well, you know,
I'm starting I have a lot of friends that are older.
Some of the guys that I ride dirt bikes with
are in their mid sixties to late sixties, and they're badasses,
but their parents are older and they're starting to, you know,
either live in a home or die of cancer or
you know, shit like that is happening. So it led
(38:05):
me to believe, like, what's going to happen to me,
you know, when I get to that point. And that's
thinking way way down the line. Because my grandmother is
going to be ninety nine years old this year. So
I know, my jeans are good and I take care
of myself, so I might live to one hundred and four.
But these are the thoughts that I've been having and
(38:27):
conversations I've been having with my wife, Like even with
my buddy yesterday, sitting at lunch after a ride, we
looked across the table and there's probably an eighty five
year old couple. Like both of them are in their eighties.
And they're still eating dinner together and they're still enjoying
each other's time, and it just makes me reflect like,
is that are we going to still? I hope we're
(38:47):
still going to be doing that, you know, in our eighties.
And how long are we going to be doing that
before we get to the point where we're either getting
help to go to the bathroom or getting help to
you know, get up? You know, it's it's it's I'm
struggling with it a little bit because my mother is
ninety nine, or my grandmother is ninety nine, and she
(39:09):
has more good days than bad, but she still is
having bad days that I've never seen before, right, So
I'm wondering, like, is it any time now? I mean,
she is ninety nine years old? But when when it happens,
who's going to be there for me?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah? Is it?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Kind? I don't have any kids. Is Ryan, Sophia, Sidney
or Spencer going to be there for me? I don't know,
It's I guess will I guess It's to be determined.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And so are you going to celebrate with grandma? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, ninety nine years old?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
I wish you did you take the tenth or how
do you how do you do it?
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I usually do because that's where when she wants to
she's still and she's starting to have some amnesia or
signs dementia, because every time I go see her, she's
just like, so, do you still live in New Mexico? Like, Mom, no,
I'm only twenty five minutes away. That's that's that's not
(40:13):
very far. It's like, wait, you rode your bike from Mexico.
So it's it's happening. And you know, not just the
fear of losing her, but the fear of getting to
that point in my life is kind of scaring me, Like,
you know, what's going to happen? You know, I And
no matter how much money you have in your life
(40:34):
and you have, you know, all the nurses to take
care of you, it's not the same as having somebody
who loves you really take care of you, right, And
that that, to me is going to be Probably the
hardest part is like is there going to be somebody there?
Because I might outlive my wife. You know, I'm the
crazy one, but I think my genes have shown that
(40:57):
I'm gonna live longer than her.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, well, everything I think in life, everything is reciprocal.
So I think if if you're constantly showing people love,
you'll get that back. And if you're there for people,
they'll be there for you. So sure that you know
there's there's going to be someone there taking care of you.
And again, I think you know Teddy as much as
much as she's like now, she knows like, yeah, go
(41:21):
visit moms because she knows that that eventually my kids
are going to now eventually be taking care of her
because they're going to see the way I treated my
mom exactly. And again everything is sort of reciprocal. And
but yeah, so now what are your thoughts on You know,
we're speaking to grandma's Tamra's a grandma, which I still
(41:42):
don't I can't even understand that she looks so young.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I would never look at her as a grandma.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
But she had her first child at seventeen years old.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
I know that's that's crazy. So how do you feel
about her being a grandma?
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Oh, it's no different.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Do you give her a crap for that grandma?
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Oh? No, she's such a young grandma and even her
mom is such a young grandma, a great grandma. Actually,
you know, they always tay you look at the mother
before you marry the girl, because that's what she's going
to look like. And I love her mom. She's so
just full of life and takes good care of herself
(42:19):
and and just it's always active. So Tama has some
good genes too, and she's going to be active for
a long time.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
You know.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
That's that's what I'm looking forward to. It's like we're
going to be doing things till we're dead.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Yeah, And How's what's Tama's role as a grandma? Is
she like involved? Does she try to maybe just not
not get involved too much?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Or is she no? She she does get involved. When
when her mom used to live here, we used to
get the opportunity to see Ava once a week. But
when mom moved away, it's been kind of challenging. And
especially when Tama films, it's really hard for her to
stop and do anything with anybody, including myself. But now
(43:01):
that she's not filming, and she has spent time, you know,
going and taking Ava out. There was I think her
her mom, Ava and Sophia went out and hung out yesterday,
you know, like I was like four different generations and
that was fun. That was really cool. But she loves
to do stuff like that she loves Ava. She has
seen Ava grow up and you know, just become her own.
(43:23):
And just like the other kids, they to see the
evolution of a child go from you know to you know,
give me money, right, you know, it's it's it's a
great life experience, I think. And I think she's enjoying
Ava tremendously.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
Yeah, I can't wait to be a grandpa, I think, Oh, definitely.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
I feel like my first kids.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I you know, I was so in work that I
you know, I probably well, my first one, I was very,
very involved, right because you know, it was you know,
Teddy came into it I think four months or actually
technically three weeks, but I would I would spend you know,
like I changed diapers with my first with my first daughter,
(44:13):
and I like literally took care of but I used
to take you know, give her bats. Once the second
one was around and Teddy was you know, now it
was more like Teddy doing all of it.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
I always tell Teddy I'm a better dad when she's
not around. She's around, I'm not as good as as
good of a dad as I probably could be, just because.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
I'm like, oh, Teddy's got it. Teddy's got it. I'm
more the fun dad.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
But but yeah, no, just again, shout out to all moms.
I mean, we we love you so much. And you know, mother,
being a mother is not easy. Whenever you think it's easy,
I was gonna say, whenever you think being a mom
is easy, stay with your kids for all day and
(44:56):
take care of them all day. And you tell me
if that's easy, especially when they're one year or two
years old.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
That thing is hard.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yes, yeah, yes, it is hard. I have so much
respect for moms because you know, they obviously make this
world go around. They're the ones that have kids. But
their job is so hard in the first probably eighteen
years of the kids alive, right, so much work. But yeah,
(45:26):
I can't imagine what they go through. But I have
a lot of respect for moms of the world.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
Not to mention the pain they have to go through,
uh labor like I can't even imagine.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I can't even imagine. So just much respect.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Be Mother's Day. I hope you got to have an
amazing day.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
And that's our podcast. Yes, great catching up brother, Good
to see you, ye brother, and we will see you
next podcast. I'm really excited because it's going to be
our first guest.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Oh, that's gonna be fun. One yeah, yeah, yes, is yet.
Or we're just gonna leave, leave them in suspense.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
We'll leave in suspense. It will be a surprise. I'm
really excited about it. It'll be fine. I think it'll
be a good time.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
It'll be a house husband.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yes, it's just gonna be a house husband.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
All right, until next time.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Until next time.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
H
This is the DS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyave
the husbands know best too, Cheese production. Can you believe
we'rere episode five already?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Man? It is flying by.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We are back for episode five, and since Mother's Day
is right around the corner, we're going to talk about motherhood.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yes, and Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms
out there.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All the beautiful moms. Hey, real quick before we get going,
do you have the same holiday as my? Well, yeah,
you're Latin American. In Latin American they celebrated on the
tenth and in America they celebrated every Sunday, right maybe yeah, yeah,
so it's.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
The tenth, But I just always usually celebrated on Sunday.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
You know. Funny story, man.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
So this three days ago, Teddy's assistant sends me a text, Hey,
Mother's Day's coming up, Mark. I don't know when I
think of Mother's Day, I still think of my mom. Yeah,
like I still think of mom my mom first and
then Teddy. Which I'm probably gonna in trouble for saying.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
That, but yes you will. So I'm like, oh, yeah,
can you get give me some stuff from alo My?
I'm like, she loves alo and then she sends me
like this black sweatsuit, right, and and I'm like, no,
she likes colorful. She likes everything very colorful. And anyways,
I'm on my call and then I'm like, oh, shoot,
(01:31):
she's talking about Teddy. I'm like, hey, by the way,
I was talking about my mom, not Teddy. So like seriously,
I'm just like, I'm such a mama's boy. You know
my dad, you know, before he went in jail, like
he said, hey, you got one thing I want you
to always remember. He's like, you got one mom. You
(01:53):
need to take care of her.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
And you know, things are you know, one of my
mentors ed, my lad always says things are caught, not taught.
And I always saw how much my dad would take
care of his mom. Yeah, and it's why I've always
taken care of my mom because as a kid, I'd
always see my dad like my dad would always get
in front of, you know, my mom and say, hey,
(02:15):
don't mess with my mom, right, And I would see that,
and I've sort of become the same way. And then
that's why I visit moms every Saturday, my kids. I
take my kids with me because I want them to see, Hey,
you got one mom, you take care of her first.
You know, you know your mom's not going to be
around as long as maybe your wife, right, so you
want to make sure that you're taking care of mom.
So anyways, I have this thing where I'm such a
(02:37):
big mama's boy that I'm like, Mother's Day is like
my Mom's Day, but you know Teddy.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Then I go celebrate with Teddy as well. But yeah,
I got to get better at it.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I was just going to say, and it's very
convenient to have a Latin American Mother's Day and then
a regular American Mother's Day because you can celebrate it
in two separate days. I mean, I don't I don't
know how it goes when you're celebrating your mom and
your wife and you know, maybe another generation of moms,
you know, all at the same time.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Teddy loves them when I celebrate both of them at
the same time, and they get matching.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Gifts, so there's no jealousy. That's hilarious. Well, let me
let me ask you this. When you were looking for
a partner, how much did motherhood contribute to your decision?
I think you hit on this a little bit, But
tell me a little bit more about why Teddy.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I mean, I think that was one of the number
one reasons that I decided that I wanted to marry her.
In fact, now as I look back at pictures, there's
a picture of her of Teddy basically raising Bella. My
daughter is a Bella like this when she's a year old,
and there's like this big smile. I'm looking at Teddy
the way she's holding my daughter, and I knew that.
(03:57):
I remember that moment like it was yesterday, because I'm like,
she's the one I need, because you know, you always
want to at least for me, I wanted to marry
someone that I knew would be a good mom. More
than anything. I wanted that. I wanted to marry someone
that was going to be a good mom, and.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Teddy's exceeded all those expectations. Can you tell me a
little bit about what your mom did to embed that?
And You're like, well, obviously we get this from our parents.
We are our parents, right, So what did you learn
from your mom that that kind of solidified that you
want that from a partner.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
You know, we had humble beginnings, right, so we didn't
have much I mentioned on the first episode that we
lived in this tiny little bedroom without any windows. Right,
it was four of us living in this bedroom, so
it wasn't the best living conditions. But I always had love.
My mom always showed me a lot of love, and
that's the one part I remembered. And she would always like,
figure out a way to put me in sports and
(04:57):
just get me out of like potential t bubble. And
she just worked her butt off for us, and I
saw how much she cared, and it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Just really I felt the love.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And I'm like, I want to I want to be
able to show that, and I want the person I
marry to be able to show that to my kids.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Is that love?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
And and Teddy's great with that, And again it's it's
one of the reasons why I was like, this is
going to be my wife. Yeah, yeah, what about you?
What do you think about that? Is was obviously yours
you met, uh. I think when you got married, Tamara
obviously had kids, right was it three year?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
How many kids? Four?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
She had four, Ryan, Spencer, Sophia, and Sydney. And when
I first met her, Ryan was already an adult essentially,
you know, he wasn't a kid kid and Sophia was
the littlest kid, and she was just so uh, neutral
(05:55):
and open and loving and and and playful, you know,
just like most kids are at that age. And Sydney
and Spencer were about the same age. They were, I
think in their teenage years, and they were a little
bit you know, standoffish because of all the negative stuff
that their father would put in their head. Right, I mean,
at least the first two years they they didn't want
(06:16):
to be around me. You can totally see that as
they got older and things changed between you know, what
they knew and what they learned, they figured it out
and they realized, Okay, maybe Eddie is not such a
bad guy, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know what I think is is so cool is
that you know, sometimes women that you know, maybe get
divorced or have kids, they think, oh, no, one's gonna
want to marry me because I don't because I have kids.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Now, what's going to want that? Right? And I think
it was so great that you didn't even care about that, right?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Was it was that something that ever crossed your mind, like,
I don't know if I want to marry her because
she's got kids.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Did that ever crossed your mind or was it? Did
you just know, like, Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
That's actually a very good question, because I've thought about
that many times, Like, you know, sitting here, how did
I end up in a relationship with four kids that
are not mine?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
You know, especially because you didn't have any kids either, right, right?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Right? I don't have any kids in my own and
that's because I never wanted kids in my own. Tama
and I have talked about this before. It was one
of those kind of things about, well, I didn't have
a really great upbringing, you know, a stable upbringing, if
you will. I kind of had to do it all
on my own. And I always had this thought like
(07:35):
why would I bring a child into this world that
is so difficult, so hard, And you know, I had love,
I had family, I had affection, but you know, we
didn't get to do a whole lot of things, you know,
And that was just my mentality growing up. The other part,
the other side of it, was understanding. When I finally
(07:56):
understood okay, you need money to do things, I thought, well,
if I can't support myself, then how the hell am
I going to support another being? And it wasn't until
I can make enough money and make a good living
that I could, you know, afford to have a child.
And by then, I think I was in my mid
(08:16):
thirties and I was already kind of thinking I really
don't want children at this point in my life. You know,
it would have been nice and maybe in my mid
twenties if I was financially stable and it all made sense.
But that's I think those are the two reasons why
I never had kids of my own. And interestingly enough,
this is the other thought that always comes through my head.
(08:39):
I've dated a lot of women in my life that
have had children, you know, whether it's one or two kids,
and I never never considered it as a problem. Like,
you know, I had a relationship with a woman who
had two kids, and my experience was that she took
care of them. She was there, her responsibility and her
(09:02):
mother and when it came to me, I really couldn't
step in as a father because their father was still
alive and still in the picture. But she made damn
sure that those kids respected me, and they respected everybody
at any adult in their life. Right. So that's kind
of the only experience I had where Okay, so this
(09:24):
is how it can work, you know. But I was
still scared. I was scared that you know, I'm not
going to be able to afford to raise the child, right,
It's expensive.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Seriously, I love that answer so much because there's probably
a lot of women out there that are in relationships
right now that they know they wi want to leave,
but they're like, they're afraid they'll never be able to
find someone better. And you know, you're you're a great
testament that there are some great guys out there if
you're not in a good place, right, because I know
(09:56):
there's a lot of women that are fearful of that,
like if I leave, I have three kids, kids, and no,
they're not I'm not going to be able to find anyone.
And there's always someone, right, especially if you're not in
a good relationship. And you know, I know many women
that stay unfortunately abusive relationships just because they're scared to
be alone, right, Because again, they're a great example of that.
(10:19):
So yeah, man, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Well that was a deep them.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
By the way, one of the things that you said
actually makes a lot of sense to me as far
as like you know, looking at your children as like
it costs a lot of money to have children, and
at least for me, I mean, if it was up
to me, I'd have more kids. But sometimes if you
have a ton of them, you're kind of taking away
from the other ones because if you don't have enough
(10:47):
to support all of them, and you're sort of taking
some options and opportunities from your other kids.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
If you just decide to have.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
You know, eight kids, all of a sudden, you have
eight kids. You can't send all of them to private school,
right or you better be making more money if you're
gonna have eight kids. Yeah, you know, you just there's
certain things that get taken away if you have too many.
So I've always been to that thinking as well as like,
can I afford to have another kid so I could
(11:17):
give them the things that I want.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
To be able to provide for them, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
So again, some people don't think about that. I'm not
saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying I thought
about it that way, where Okay, four I can handle.
I don't know if I could finance, well, I might
be able to handle another one. But that's another story
for Teddy.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Well. The interesting thing is that my grandmother, who was
the one that brought me to the United States, she
had eight kids, so I have like four or five
uncles and my aunt and my mom, and they didn't
grow up with money. You know, they didn't have money.
But how she and she pretty much raised them on
(11:59):
her own. So how the hell did she do it?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
And and and you know it was love, right raise them? Love? Yeah,
Love and affection I think is the most valuable commodity
out there. If you don't And honestly, you can grow
up with all the money in the world, but if
you don't have love, it's empty. It's an empty life.
(12:29):
I have a question for you. I just found out
that Slate and Cruise were conceived via I v F
and Dove was natural.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
One.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
What was that like going through I v F.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah, So Teddy had a hard time with getting pregnant,
and when we first had Slate, in my head, I
always thought like, you're gonna have nothing but girls like
that was literally my thought, right, So when we we're
gonna do IBF again, I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Like, man, I gotta have a boy. Like what if
I end up not having a boy?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Like?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I want my boy.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
So I actually asked Teddy, well, if we're gonna go
kind of the first level, why don't we take it
all the way and let's ensure that I have a boy.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
But you can do this in IBF.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, you can do that in IBF. It's like a
second you know. I'm sure Teddy can explain it better,
but yeah, it's like a second level of or third
level where you can pick the sex of the baby.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So it sounds like like you can design your own baby.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Well, that's why I had a problem with it because
for vanity reasons, I kind of wanted my boy. I
just wanted a boy that you know, everybody wants their boy. Yeah,
And the way they do it is obviously they get
the eggs, they get the sperm, they mix it and
then it'll tell you you got x many girls, you
got x many.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Boys, right, wow.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Well we did it three different times and it kept failing.
But each time we did it, I'm not exaggerating, it
was ninety five percent female and like one boy, so
we of course put the one boy in. The first
one she had a miscarriage. Then we did a second
round and same thing, ninety five percent.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Girls, one boy.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
We put the boy in didn't make it. So finally
on the last one we did it again, and this
time I told Teddy Hey, it doesn't work. It's not
meant to be. Maybe it's not meant for me to
have boys, right, And we did it again and it worked.
And then but the whole time I.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Was struggling with it because I'm like, am I trying
to play god here? Like I didn't feel right about it,
and because every time it was a miscarriage.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Well, all of a sudden, six months passed by. Everything's
great anyway. The day of the birth, I'm in my
head about it and I'm like, I hope nothing goes
wrong today because I did this because I was struggling
with it. It wasn't an easy decision for me. Yeah,
and then sure enough Cruz comes out and he's not breathing.
And then all of a sudden, I don't know, fifteen
doctors come in. They pushed me to the side. You know,
(15:05):
my mom's in there, my sister's in there there crying.
I can't see. I'm trying to look over to see
what's up with Cruise, and it's just silence. And then Teddy.
I just hear Teddy screaming, like, what's wrong with the baby.
What's wrong with the baby? You don't hear a cry,
it's silent for I want to say at least a minute.
It felt like fifteen, and all of a sudden he
(15:28):
cries and everything's fine, but then they take them immediately
out and he spent the entire night in the nick
you and I think he was there for a couple
of days, and it was just scary. And while that
was going on, I was like praying to God. I
was like, God, I'll never do that again. Please, just
(15:48):
you know, save them. I promise you I'll never do
it again. And that was it and I'll never do
it again. And then with Dove, we you know, it
came natural. We're like, we weren't expecting it were.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Like, what you could have a baby. And then there
was this.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Slight hope that she would be a boy because I
wanted two boys and two girls, like that would be perfect.
And I was like, it's going to be a boy.
I know it's going to be a boy.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Sure enough.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Another female. So I'm a female maker, Yes you are.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I would have had.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I'm if we would have done if we wouldn't have
done IBF, I would have had nothing but girls.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And I just have had friends that have had that
scenario where there's like fifteen girls in the house and
they're just going crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, and then there's some males that just have nothing,
but I mean some some guys that just have nothing
but boys. Yeah, that's funny because I hear the guys
the one that actually determines what sex comes out this
from when I yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
I don't know, but I've heard rumors that it depends on,
you know, how you do it, if it's you know, missionary,
or if it's you know, other animals.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I did all kinds of positions didn't work for me.
It was off. So tell me we saw what a
robot baby? She's a nine on the show? What was
that about or whose idea was that?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Well, you know, it was the same subject about do
I want kids? I can't tell you. If I had
a dollar for every time somebody asked me that question,
I think I'd make a lot of money. But it
was a scene or an episode. I should say that
with film where she asked me, do you you sure
you don't want kids? And I said, no, I don't
want kids, and they somehow produced a robot child that
(17:40):
you literally had to carry like a baby and if
it starts crying, you put your finger in its mouth,
or you put the bottle in its mouth like a
real baby, and every single and it's kind of random,
how it's computerized and it cries randomly, and it was
probably as real as it could get to having a baby.
And here's the thing about me and kids. There's there's
(18:04):
one thing that I do know about me and babies.
They seem so fragile to me that I was always
afraid of picking up babies. You know, I was that
guy like I don't want to pick it up. I'm
gonna heard it, I'm gonna squeeze it. You know, it's
so fragile. So I was afraid of babies. But when
it's a robot baby, I was a little bit more relaxed.
They're like, okay, I could do with And we ended
(18:25):
up taking turns, and you know, she took care of
him when he cried. I took care of when he cried.
I think we named them astro like, oh, I love that.
I think it came from the Jetsons.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
But I knew we weren't meant to have kids because
I think by day three or four, the baby wouldn't
stop crying. And Tamra took it downstairs, came back to sleep,
and the next morning I found the baby in the
couch behind the pillows, not breathing. So I said, yeah,
we're not gonna have kids. Yeah, it was funny, it
(19:06):
was a good time. It was interesting to experience that though.
You know, one thing that I do, I think you've
shared it with me too. But every guy I know,
every friend that I know that has ever shared their
experience about having a kid, and that whole birth experience,
(19:27):
it's like the most magical experience you ever experienced in life,
right like, this is this is you, this is part
of you coming to the world. That's probably something I
will never experience in my life. And that's probably the
only thing that I regret not having in life, you know,
But there's so many other things in life that I
experience that you know, I am very fortunate to be
(19:50):
in love and in a relationship where I just I
adore my wife and I know I can't imagine life
without her, you know. It's I adore the kid. I
just this is this is a good life. You know.
I'm not deprived in any way, you know, But that's
that's the only thing that every friend of mine, male
even just male friend of mine just told me like,
(20:13):
this is the most magical experience you'll ever have in
your life.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
So, speaking of magical experiences, I decided because it's such
a magical experience. When Teddy was having the baby, I
filmed the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Really. I was so excited, like literally filmed the baby's
head coming out. And I was so excited that I
sent the video to John, her dad, her sister Mice,
and he was so upset, Why did you show my
vagina to everyone? But I was just so excited. I
(20:47):
was like, oh shit, I got this on video, Like
dad's gonna want her dad's gonna want to see this
magical moment. So, like a dumbass, I sent a video
to her dad or sister, and you know, so they
still make fun of me because I sent you know, Dad,
he's jj going baby coming out, So yeah, who knows,
Maybe I'll send you the video you can watch the
(21:07):
magical moment. What advice You've obviously been a great step dad,
what advice would you give to someone that is maybe
just got married to someone that has you know, kids,
(21:29):
and you know what, what's I guess the best advice
you you would give for somebody stepping into that step
dad role.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I would say, I mean, it depends on a lot
of variables. Because if you have a dad who's just
a but he's still a dad and and is willing
to be a part of the children's life, you can't
you can't take that role, you know, those that's the
(21:58):
father's role. So your role is just to be there
and be a positive role model for the children and
if they need anything, you help, you let them come
to you. Essentially. That's that's just my experience, right. There's
there's been other you know, friends that are been in
my shoes that say, you know, opposite, they want to
take an active role, they want to be there and
(22:20):
and sort of prevent the kids from going, you know,
rogue because their father is such a right in other
circumstances which I've never experienced, where the father is not
in the picture or he's a deadbeat dad, that's that's
where I would step in and say, okay, kids, whatever
you need, anytime you need them, and and and you know,
(22:40):
follow through as a real like step father where you're
in there being the father role.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
But I just felt that always if the dad is
willing to do or be a part, no matter what
much of it is. If he's willing to be part
of the children's life, you can't take that role. You
can't be a step dad, right, You can't really have
two dads. The father's role is equally as important as
(23:07):
the mother's role, and you can't. You can't blur that
by saying, well, I'm your dad too, right, right, Yeah,
it'll be mixed signals to the kids.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
So were you.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
More of had to be a dad or were you
able to maybe not be as much as involved with
like dad decisions because dad has been around.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
No, I wasn't as involved with dad decisions because dad
was around, and that was typically something that that was
a triage between Tamra and her ex and the kids.
You know, that was their role. So when it came
to you know, particularly disciplinary actions, and I understand why
(23:49):
she made this decisions she's made before, but at the
time I was like, how come you're not being disciplinary?
How come you're not you know, disciplining in the kids
or giving them the structure. Understand it now in hindsight,
but at the time it was like, well, you know,
I don't want to get into this with her. Because
it's her children and it's his children, and unless she
(24:09):
wants me to give my advice, I really can't step
in there and say you should do this, because that
would just cause a fight with us, you know what
I mean. They're not my kids, they're there kids, and
they still hold that mutual responsibility of making sure the
kids are healthy and happy. So yeah, my role was
(24:31):
really just to be a a arm to lean on,
someone you know, to talk to. But unfortunately for the children,
their father brainwashed them so much that they were afraid
to open up to me or ask me for anything.
And it's not until now like most of the most
(24:52):
of the kids except for Sophia, and she's getting to
that point where they're starting to feel like comfortable about
themselves and comfortable and having conversations with me and asking
me for stuff. But for a very long time, it
was very much like no, my dad said, you're a
bad person, and my dad said, you know, not to
like you. My dad said, it was ingrained in their heads.
(25:15):
So I understand, you know, if I totally understand what
they went.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Through, well, shout out to step dads that are good guys.
I've been blessed to have you know, my daughter's got
a stepdad and he's been completely awesome. I couldn't have
asked for a better step dad on my end, and
I know you've been great as well.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
So yeah, and that's actually great. I wish it was
like that. I wish we could have conversations about the
kids like that, because it really is for the benefit
of the kids. You know, just because your relationship doesn't
work with that person doesn't mean your kids have to suffer.
So I wish it was like that.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
So I have a.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Question for you. Tamer was telling me that Teddy has
been very open about her postpartum struggles. How did you
show support did that? How do you how do you
help somebody going through postpartum because I heard that's like
a severe case of depression.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yeah, I man, I'm I didn't even know it was
going on. I mean I was so into I mean,
I was working so much that I had no idea
she was even going through that. I want to say
that I found out because I think I saw what
(26:31):
she was researching, and I was like, she depressed, Why
is she researching this stuff? And then then that's when
I asked her, and then that's when she told me,
but I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Well, I just caught.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
It, did you you didn't notice any signs?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Like she No, I mean she was.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
She was pretty good with like when I got home, like,
I honestly didn't see her. Maybe I was so into
my work that I didn't even notice. I mean, it
was probably more about me not noticing and just you
know that that's probably my fault on that I probably
should have seen it. But yeah, no, I That's how
I found out.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Is when you found out, how did you handle it
or did you guys get professional help or did you
guys just read and research and figure it out?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Well, so I asked her, Hey, is are you depressed?
Are you going through? Because you know, I I just
never I don't know much about that kind of stuff.
You know. I've always been one that's just kind of like, no,
you just that stuff doesn't exist, right, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Now obviously I know, But at the time, I had
no idea. I was just like you, just what do
you mean you just figure stuff out?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Like yeah, like, what do you mean, I don't I
don't get that stuff.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
And no, yeah, then she you know, she started working
on herself and and but.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I don't think she I don't think she got therapy.
If I'm trying to remember, I don't think she got therapy,
but or maybe she'd. Yeah, there's those years were.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I want to say that was probably twenty fourteen. Yeah,
those were those were some of these tough years that
her and I had. So I was kind of I
was in laala land myself when that was going on.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
It Do you think that's kind of a normal thing
when you get married, you build a life together, and
you have kids, and then it's another struggle, and then
the kids finally grow up and leave the house, and
then you're just empty nesters and now it's a struggle
and you know, all those severe life changes.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yeah, I think it's just it's like different cycles I
guess that you're going through. But we were, you know,
I was working all the time, and then she was
staying with the kids.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
You know, she was staying at home.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
And she was kind of like I'd come home and
she'd have her friends there and they'd be you know,
you know, hanging out.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
And you know there's a.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Part too that I was, you know, not upset, but
I'm like, man, I'm working all day and every time
I come home.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
It's just like the girls are all hanging out, you know,
like and yeah, and there was like no food and
I was like, what have you been doing all day?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
So there was a part of now that that was
just me being selfish at the time, Like I wasn't
you know, I was just not in a good place myself.
I was, you know, I there was a part of
me that was just like, Oh, you've been here all day,
what's going on?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You know, I've been working all day? And it was
just this it was a me problem at the time.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, well I could totally see how that could happen. Yeah,
when you're when when as an entrepreneur, when you've set
your mind to accomplish something, everything else kind of fades away.
It becomes a shadow until you come out of it
and you're like, where am I? Oh I have a family?
Yeah exactly, Oh, okay, I have kids. Did you see
(30:05):
Teddy become a different person when she became a mom,
like or when she had her own children?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Did she She's always been?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I mean she you know, that's the beautiful thing about
Teddy's that I didn't see really much difference from when
Bella came out to the way Slate came out.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
She treated them both the same. That's awesome, and I
mean that's.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Again I was I saw how much she loved Bella,
and then again when Slate came out, at least I
couldn't see the difference, right, And even to this day,
it's you know, she treats Bella like like if like
if she's her own, you know, which is.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Again just a lot of love. So yeah, she's always
been great.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I think that's amazing. And one of the most important
parts about you know, having a family, you know, is
being able to treat a child that's yours, it's that's
not yours, like that's yours.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You know, when you when you uh, now, let me
ask you this.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
When you were you know, obviously step Dad did you
was there a part of you that wanted to be
a little bit of a role model with them, and
you know, just showing them kind of again, things aren't taught.
They're caught showing them what a you know, what a
good person kind of lives by.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
And oh yeah, one hundred percent. I wanted to influence
them as much as I could, you know, because I
felt like I've made it through life, I've struggled, and
you know, and and and I can teach them a
little bit about that. And the irony is is that
our kids grew up pretty privileged. You know, we live
(31:46):
in Orange County in a very beautiful area. You know,
we have a pretty good living, and they've never ever
relative to me and relative to even kids that you know,
let's say kids, this is out of context, but kids
in Africa, you know who, you know, born in the jungle.
My struggle was was not like that. But I struggled.
(32:09):
And when these kids come to me and or they
tell their mom, you know, life is so hard, like
I don't get it, you know, Can I can I
talk to you about this?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
You know?
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Can I teach you? You know what? Can I take
you down town and show you how people really are
struggling so you can understand what real struggle is. And
I never got the opportunity to do that. You know,
I really think that's a valuable lesson. When you take
somebody outside their bubble and take them to a community
where there are people that are really struggling. I think
(32:39):
it'll open up people's eyes, especially kids, especially when they're
little and they're impressionable, and they realize, you know what,
I have it freaking pretty damn good, right, because all
they have to compare themselves with is other kids in
the neighborhood who obviously might have ten times more than
we have. You know, while our kids are getting brand
(33:01):
new Mas, does you know their friends might be getting
brand new Lamborghinis, right, right?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
Yeah, It's so important for them to see what it
looks on the other side, right, because you don't know
what you don't know, right. And I also think in
the same way, it's important if you don't grow up
with much to at least go touch the dream once
in a while, you know, take your kids to some
nice areas so that they can see, whoa, there's a
(33:29):
whole different lifestyle here.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Maybe I want a piece of this, right Yeah, But
if you never exposed them to it, why would they
want it? Exactly?
Speaker 3 (33:36):
If they don't know any different, right, right, It's almost
like so it goes both ways, yeah right, So you
know for me, I know that was such a big
part of me, is that I was exposed to even
though we didn't grow up with money, I was exposed
to like nice areas, and being exposed to those nice
areas made me realize like, wait a minute, this is where.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I want to live. Yeah, I don't want to live there,
you know, And I think back, if I wouldn't have
been exposed to it, you don't know what you don't know, right,
You can't improve on something you're not aware of. So
I think it goes both ways on that for sure.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah, But what do you think as far as like
what about like I'm big on this is like not
getting smashed in front of the kids.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
What I mean like I don't drunk drink.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, like I yeah, very particular about I can drink.
They could see me drink, but you'll never see me.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Smashed in front of my kids.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah, you know, I'm very particular with that because again,
things are caught not topped right right, they start seeing
you get smashed all of a sudden, they're like, oh,
it's okay to get smashed, right.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
So were you did you take that into consideration in
front of the.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Kids or yes? Yes, between that which was not a
problem because you know, I wasn't a big drinker. I
think I've been drunk the two or three times here
in this house I live in, and two of them
were when I was single. You know, and usually when
we have parties, the kids are at their friend's house, right,
so we had we had we had a few rules.
(35:13):
One of the biggest rules is we don't fight in
front of the kids. You know, we don't curse at
each other and put each other down in front of
the kids. I think that one thing I don't remember
how I learned, but one thing I learned is that
kids will emulate you more than repeat what you say
than what they learned elsewhere. Right, they can read it
(35:34):
in a book how to be, but if they grow
up in an abusive household, they're going to be abusive too,
regardless of you know, what they've read or what they've
learned in school. So it was important to me to
understanding that, to know that the kids are very impressionable,
and I believe from what I understand, it's the first
six to eight years of their life where they're the
(35:54):
most absorbent of everything, you know, and once they absorb it,
it's not going anywhere. No amount of therapy is gonna
take it away.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
That's so true.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
And by the way, no one, no matter, no one's perfect.
So the idea is it happens less and less and
less but like once in a while, I'll still blur
like a bad word and I don't realize that the kids.
So this last Sunday, I'm taking uh.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Uh, we're going to church.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
It's dub and I and cruise and someone cuts me
off and I'm like and then all of a sudden,
in the back.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Seat, she didn't skip a beat. She's like, I'm like,
oh no, no, starts laughing. I start laughing. I'm just sorry, kids,
I did not mean to say that.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Sorry, sorry, sorry funny.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
And right away she says it. She's like a freaking parrot.
She repeats anything funny.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
The best ones there when they go to school and
say it, and the teacher is like, what are you
teaching your kids?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Kids are funny, so funny. I think that's all I
got for you.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Uh yeah, I think you know what. I have a
couple ones for you. Still, so no, So.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Was there ever any part of you that wanted biological children?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
The only time, like I said earlier, is when my
friends would share that, Like you could really see that
magic in their eyes when they're telling me the story
about what it's like having your own kid right and
watching the birth. That's it. That's the only time I've
ever thought, you know, maybe it would be nice to
have my own kid another time. And this was recently.
(37:41):
Now that I'm in my fifties, I'm thinking, well, you know,
I'm starting I have a lot of friends that are older.
Some of the guys that I ride dirt bikes with
are in their mid sixties to late sixties, and they're badasses,
but their parents are older and they're starting to, you know,
either live in a home or die of cancer or
you know, shit like that is happening. So it led
(38:05):
me to believe, like, what's going to happen to me,
you know, when I get to that point. And that's
thinking way way down the line. Because my grandmother is
going to be ninety nine years old this year. So
I know, my jeans are good and I take care
of myself, so I might live to one hundred and four.
But these are the thoughts that I've been having and
(38:27):
conversations I've been having with my wife, Like even with
my buddy yesterday, sitting at lunch after a ride, we
looked across the table and there's probably an eighty five
year old couple. Like both of them are in their eighties.
And they're still eating dinner together and they're still enjoying
each other's time, and it just makes me reflect like,
is that are we going to still? I hope we're
(38:47):
still going to be doing that, you know, in our eighties.
And how long are we going to be doing that
before we get to the point where we're either getting
help to go to the bathroom or getting help to
you know, get up? You know, it's it's it's I'm
struggling with it a little bit because my mother is
ninety nine, or my grandmother is ninety nine, and she
(39:09):
has more good days than bad, but she still is
having bad days that I've never seen before, right, So
I'm wondering, like, is it any time now? I mean,
she is ninety nine years old? But when when it happens,
who's going to be there for me?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah? Is it?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Kind? I don't have any kids. Is Ryan, Sophia, Sidney
or Spencer going to be there for me? I don't know,
It's I guess will I guess It's to be determined.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And so are you going to celebrate with grandma? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, ninety nine years old?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
I wish you did you take the tenth or how
do you how do you do it?
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I usually do because that's where when she wants to
she's still and she's starting to have some amnesia or
signs dementia, because every time I go see her, she's
just like, so, do you still live in New Mexico? Like, Mom, no,
I'm only twenty five minutes away. That's that's that's not
(40:13):
very far. It's like, wait, you rode your bike from Mexico.
So it's it's happening. And you know, not just the
fear of losing her, but the fear of getting to
that point in my life is kind of scaring me, Like,
you know, what's going to happen? You know, I And
no matter how much money you have in your life
(40:34):
and you have, you know, all the nurses to take
care of you, it's not the same as having somebody
who loves you really take care of you, right, And
that that, to me is going to be Probably the
hardest part is like is there going to be somebody there?
Because I might outlive my wife. You know, I'm the
crazy one, but I think my genes have shown that
(40:57):
I'm gonna live longer than her.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, well, everything I think in life, everything is reciprocal.
So I think if if you're constantly showing people love,
you'll get that back. And if you're there for people,
they'll be there for you. So sure that you know
there's there's going to be someone there taking care of you.
And again, I think you know Teddy as much as
much as she's like now, she knows like, yeah, go
(41:21):
visit moms because she knows that that eventually my kids
are going to now eventually be taking care of her
because they're going to see the way I treated my
mom exactly. And again everything is sort of reciprocal. And
but yeah, so now what are your thoughts on You know,
we're speaking to grandma's Tamra's a grandma, which I still
(41:42):
don't I can't even understand that she looks so young.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I would never look at her as a grandma.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
But she had her first child at seventeen years old.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
I know that's that's crazy. So how do you feel
about her being a grandma?
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Oh, it's no different.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Do you give her a crap for that grandma?
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Oh? No, she's such a young grandma and even her
mom is such a young grandma, a great grandma. Actually,
you know, they always tay you look at the mother
before you marry the girl, because that's what she's going
to look like. And I love her mom. She's so
just full of life and takes good care of herself
(42:19):
and and just it's always active. So Tama has some
good genes too, and she's going to be active for
a long time.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
You know.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
That's that's what I'm looking forward to. It's like we're
going to be doing things till we're dead.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Yeah, And How's what's Tama's role as a grandma? Is
she like involved? Does she try to maybe just not
not get involved too much?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Or is she no? She she does get involved. When
when her mom used to live here, we used to
get the opportunity to see Ava once a week. But
when mom moved away, it's been kind of challenging. And
especially when Tama films, it's really hard for her to
stop and do anything with anybody, including myself. But now
(43:01):
that she's not filming, and she has spent time, you know,
going and taking Ava out. There was I think her
her mom, Ava and Sophia went out and hung out yesterday,
you know, like I was like four different generations and
that was fun. That was really cool. But she loves
to do stuff like that she loves Ava. She has
seen Ava grow up and you know, just become her own.
(43:23):
And just like the other kids, they to see the
evolution of a child go from you know to you know,
give me money, right, you know, it's it's it's a
great life experience, I think. And I think she's enjoying
Ava tremendously.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
Yeah, I can't wait to be a grandpa, I think, Oh, definitely.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
I feel like my first kids.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I you know, I was so in work that I
you know, I probably well, my first one, I was very,
very involved, right because you know, it was you know,
Teddy came into it I think four months or actually
technically three weeks, but I would I would spend you know,
like I changed diapers with my first with my first daughter,
(44:13):
and I like literally took care of but I used
to take you know, give her bats. Once the second
one was around and Teddy was you know, now it
was more like Teddy doing all of it.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
I always tell Teddy I'm a better dad when she's
not around. She's around, I'm not as good as as
good of a dad as I probably could be, just because.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
I'm like, oh, Teddy's got it. Teddy's got it. I'm
more the fun dad.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
But but yeah, no, just again, shout out to all moms.
I mean, we we love you so much. And you know, mother,
being a mother is not easy. Whenever you think it's easy,
I was gonna say, whenever you think being a mom
is easy, stay with your kids for all day and
(44:56):
take care of them all day. And you tell me
if that's easy, especially when they're one year or two
years old.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
That thing is hard.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yes, yeah, yes, it is hard. I have so much
respect for moms because you know, they obviously make this
world go around. They're the ones that have kids. But
their job is so hard in the first probably eighteen
years of the kids alive, right, so much work. But yeah,
(45:26):
I can't imagine what they go through. But I have
a lot of respect for moms of the world.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
Not to mention the pain they have to go through,
uh labor like I can't even imagine.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I can't even imagine. So just much respect.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Be Mother's Day. I hope you got to have an
amazing day.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
And that's our podcast. Yes, great catching up brother, Good
to see you, ye brother, and we will see you
next podcast. I'm really excited because it's going to be
our first guest.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Oh, that's gonna be fun. One yeah, yeah, yes, is yet.
Or we're just gonna leave, leave them in suspense.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
We'll leave in suspense. It will be a surprise. I'm
really excited about it. It'll be fine. I think it'll
be a good time.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
It'll be a house husband.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yes, it's just gonna be a house husband.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
All right, until next time.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Until next time.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
H
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