October 3, 2023 • 42 mins
Antonio Wiley grew up in inner city Dallas with high crime rates, gangs and drugs. In this episode, he shares how he took the lessons he learned growing up in that tough environment to the sidelines of a prominent 6A Texas High School football team. Coach Wiley epitomizes leadership and instills in his athletes the importance of hard work, responsibility and accountability.
Follow Antonio Wiley on:
Twitter: @A_Wiley30
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm Jacob Schick and I'm joined by my co host
and wife.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Ashley Shick.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a
gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,
first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental
and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
At One Tribe Foundation, we.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Believe everyone has a story to tell, not only about
the peaks, but also the valleys they've.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Been through to get them where they are today.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Each week, we invite a guests to tell us their story,
to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape
who they are and what they're doing to pay it
forward and give back.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Our mission with this show is to dig deep in
our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope
and inspiration their story has to offer.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
We're thrilled you're joining us again.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Our guest today is a great man. We met at
Jake's alma mater and where he played football, Koppel High
School in North Texas.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Go Cowboys.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Regardless of where you are in the world, football is religion.
Here in Texas and Texas high school football head coaches
are highly regarded.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
High school football brings communities together, and the coaches are
the ones who help shape these young athletes and leaders
in their communities.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We are so stoked to have head football coach at
Coppel High School, Coach Antonio Wiley here on the Good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
He's here to share his journey with us of growing
up in East Dallas in the path.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
That led him to where he is today.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Antonio Wiley, thank you so much for joining us and
welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Thank you guys for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
We're thrilled you're here. We talk about football a lot
on this podcast.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
We just do.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
We're in Texas, Jake and I both grew up in it,
and from the moment we met you, we were.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Like, we've got to have Antonio on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Coach Antonio.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Coach Antonio just called me coach Antonio.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Why they don't do that?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Not your full name? Coach Antonio?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Cool the way, Yeah, but that's like asking me when
a four star general walks up to me, he's like
just call me Tom. I'm like, that's not gonna happen.
Like No, It's like I think it's a trap.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
But not only are you a head football coach in Texas,
you're the head football coach at Coppel High School, which
is drum roll please, Jake's alma mater.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Damn right, it is.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
That's what I'm talking about, telling me, go cowboy ouh,
let's get it.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Donet's cowboy all the way all day.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Y'all could sit here and do this for like the
whole the l the podcast.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Some people get it and some don't.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You guys are just so energetic, and it's like, yeah,
there's a reason that we don't suck that much, no doubt,
because everything's with purpose, speed, intensity. I don't get out
of bed and put my leg on before I go
to the bathroom and go I'm going to go completely
out of my way to be completely average today.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
In mys there's no place for average. If you're accept
being average, you need to go find something else to
do other than live because average ain't a place where
I can ever survive. Being a competitor and being an
athletics your whole life and growing up a certain way,
it breeds for competition, and if you accept being average,
you need to go play with the average. Kids don't
come in my world.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
And that's one of the main reasons we wanted to
have you here on the good stuff, because that is
what it's all about, right, that mindset, that good energy
that you just again have exuded from the moment that
Jake and I met you. We've been blessed to work
with not only your athletes, but a lot of the
athletes at cop LISD on some of our service projects
that we have. We love getting the kids involved, to
(03:45):
include our own. But I mean, you've got a fascinating story.
Take us back to the beginning.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Grew up Inner City Dallas. You know, a few blocks
from the State Fair, a neighborhood that was really high
crime rates, a lot of drugs, a lot of things
like that going on in the neighborhood. Crimes are normal there.
Gunshots are normal in that neighborhood. There's no such thing as, oh,
I live in a safe place. It was safe because
we made it safe because we took care of each other.
But outside people coming in and that kind of stuff,
(04:12):
or you had conflict with somebody from four blocks over.
You know, that's the thing about that neighborhood. We call
it East Dallas. But some people if you drove to
it like this is South Dallas. But you better not
tell us guys who were from East Dallas that to
South Dallas because we would have a problem with that,
you know what I mean. So it was a tough neighborhood.
I wouldn't change anything about that because it molded me
into the man I am today. I never walk out
(04:34):
worried about what's gonna happen. I just go in and
I say, whatever takes place, we're gonna jump in with
both feet and find a way to handle it. You know,
when we were coming up, games were a big deal.
During that time, we didn't have a lot, and I
didn't know it because we had I had a big
family growing up there. You know, we went through times
with not having a lot. Then my dad started a
playing company and that changed and things we had a lot,
and then we went back and forth. You know, you
(04:54):
go to times where lights might be off and then
in other times you've got you know, brand new cars
and other thing going your way. But I think growing
up in the neighborhood I grew up in, you see
a lot of things, you know. You see a lot
of a single parent homes, You see a lot of
young men get lost into the system. And I was
blessed because you know, I was that young man who
would toe that line. But I knew my dad would
kill me if I went too far, you know, But
(05:16):
also not saying I didn't go too far. Sometimes I
was just blessed God saw fit to let you walk
away from that situation, as opposed to where two days
later one of your friends didn't walk away from a situation,
or they got caught into something that would have normally
been a routine. You did something and you thought, all
it's easy, and all of a sudden it turns out
bad for him. And when I turned thirteen, I remember
twelve thirteen, we bought a house. We moved a pleasant grove.
(05:37):
You know. I was from eat Dallas right there, and
so I'm thinking, hey, we're moving up. Don't know, not
much difference in the neighborhood. Just you got a brick
house now instead of up here in Beam. That was
the one thing I went to Samuel, But games were
still relevant. I grew up in a place where right
there in these Dallas, where everybody were bloods, and it
was you're not in a gang, but everybody around you
is somewhat affiliated and that kind of stuff. So it's
(05:57):
one of those deals where when I went to Pleasant
grow I didn't understand it. That was unc territory when
I was in school, and they were all crips. So
I'm walking down the street with red jerseys and red
laces own and thinking everything's okay. Well I learned pretty quick.
I got jumped a couple of times time. But you
know what, life gave me opportunities that I would never
change anything about my life. My dad was a great
(06:18):
man in the short time that he was here on
her with us, great man. He taught me how to
take care of my family. He taught me the value
of just doing things the right way. I think that
all came from my grandpa, who was also a great man,
who would just give you the shirt off his back
and do anything for a person. He's one of the
best souls you ever gonna meet. I remember one time vividly.
My mom tells this story. If you listen to her talk,
(06:39):
she'll say, my grandpa just got a new car and
she's out. He let her drive it and she wrecks it,
so she's freaking out. She don't know what to do.
She gets him on the phone. That was back before
cell phones were real heavy. So you call him out
the landline and she goes, mister Clarence, I'm so sorry
that I wrecked your car. And he goes, baby, are
you all right? And she goes, yeah, he said, forget
that car, we'll get another one at something. You know,
(07:00):
that's just kind of the person he was. He was
all about and he would tell his sons when they
were wrong about their daughter in laws. They were all
crazy about him, you know, because like he got with
great credit and that kind of stuff. So when when
my dad got older he started having business and stuff
and he was doing well, my mom wanted a car
well my dad and didn't have to established credit that
my grandpa had, so he goes in. He was that guy.
(07:21):
Though once he said no about something, he meant it.
So when he went to when he went to him,
my mom go to car lots, and he'd ask my
mom before they walked in there, how much can you
afford to pay for this car? What's the monthly payment?
And she'd go this and he go okay. So when
they walk in there, you know, salesman always comes in
with these sales pictures and that kind of stuff. And
(07:41):
they come in and it could be ten cents over
what she said, and he goes, Nope, ain't doing it.
And if they can't budget, he's not budgeting. He'll tell her,
let's get in the car. She'd be like, I can
do that. Nope, you said this, and that's what we're doing.
You know, I'll tell you this is my life. My
life's been great. I had a great family. We were
poor and didn't even know it sometimes, you know what,
I just had three but I had a big family,
(08:04):
and so we talk about this. Let's talk about it.
My grandma had seven children, one girl. My family is
full of boys, I mean like from the top, so
that when people got in their scuffles with us, they
just like, oh crap, there's a try full of boys.
Because it's like within my grandma's children, there's only my
(08:24):
cousin Debora and my cousin Niecy are the two girls
in the immediate family right there. The rest of all
of her boys had boys too. And so you go
back to because I don't have any sisters, I got
two younger brothers. So it's just like we've got a
family full of boys. You know what. I mean yes,
and they were all a little rough cut, so when
it came time to get their hands dirty and mix
(08:45):
it up, we were Definitely. It was one of those
deals where if you come home and you've been in
a tussle with somebody and they didn't feel like you
wanted choose from to go back over and we're gonna
do it again, you know what I mean, So you
better get it done right the first time, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So we talk about this a lot trauma, right, But
in your case, it sounds like you had some very
strong men that, regardless of your environment, you had these
strong examples your grandfather and your father to live by
that they actually passed on that generational goodness of this
is how to be a man.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Yep, they did. They did a great job. The men
in my life were great, But we had some strong
women in our families too, my mom, my aunts. They
all just kind of locked on and held us down. Now,
I don't get me wrong. Did we get in trouble. Absolutely,
did we go out and find ways to do things
that we knew were possibly going to be suspect from
time to time. Absolutely, we also figured out that there
(09:38):
ain't no way to avoid it. Some people want to
avoid conflict so much in their life that they never
deal with those tough situations. Me and I think it's
been one of the biggest blessings of my life is
the fact that I learned how to take on conflict
head on and not dodge it and not avoid it
and have tough conversations, and when it had to get physical,
we took care of it and we moved on. Nowadays,
(09:58):
I think there's a weird dynamic going on because you
got people who want to be tough in front of
a camera on social media, but they also don't want
to actually do it when the rubber meets the road.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Keyboard Warriors, oh I keyboard warriors.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
No, That right there drives me crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
We live in a very passive society. People go out
of their way to avoid conflict or discomfort. Nobody wants
to be uncomfortable, and it's like that's the only place
you coul grow, you know, and you've got to meet
it head on. You have to step up and book
and right things, just like we tell the boys all
the time. Well you heard me tell your boys, Hit Coppell,
right things, right reasons, arrest, take care of yourself, no
(10:38):
matter what, if you fail, it better beat one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Don't be a fright to fail. That's the fear of
failure drives me every day. I tell people this all
the time. I say, because if I fail, I have
fifteen assistant coaches. I have a wife and kids at home.
They have wives and children at home. So if I
fail as a head coach, I don't only fail myself,
I failed them, so my job. What did I say?
They said, The fear of failure forces me to prepare.
(11:03):
And if you're not preparing, you're preparing to fail.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
That's what I always.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I said it yesterday morning, I said it this afternoon.
I said all the time, the fear of failure dictates
your greatness.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
What do you do with that failure? Are you afraid
to take a shot because you might fail?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
You know?
Speaker 5 (11:21):
I tell our kids all the time. I say, if
I put a mirror in front of you. I talk
to my football team. If I put a mirror in
front of you and it said, this is what you
have to go through to have a chance to play
sixteen games, to have a chance to play for a
state championship, are you willing to go through it? Even
though you might go zer and ten. That doesn't mean
you're not gonna fail. This is what you have to
(11:42):
go to to have a chance. How many of you
guys are gonna say, Coach, I'm in the boat still,
let's do it.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, you had these life lessons that a lot of kids,
like our kids do not have. Don't have a clue
what that's like, don't have an idea like, oh, it
depends on what color shoelaces I wear when I walk
like I might have to, I might have to throw down.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That is not a thing where they are.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I love this episode because you're proof positive.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That you channel it for good. You use it for good.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
And not only have you used it for good, you
practice gratitude daily because of it. And that is a mindset.
That's a decision you make and you use it to
your advantage. I just think it's an awesome thing that
is also unfortunately a dying thing in this country.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
And that's the thing I tell you a lot of time,
some of the best leaders are in rough neighborhoods. What
did I lead kids to do? What did I lead
their community in? That's the difference. Like some of the
worst criminals are the best leaders. People believe in them.
You go back through generation some of the biggest gangsters
and all that stuff. What did they do. They got
people to believe in them and by their message. It's
the same thing. So you can generate that power one
way or the other. You can decide to take people
(12:56):
down this path, lead them to a place of destruction,
or you can decide to take down the path of
greatness and say, hey, we're gonna find a way to
do right by people, do right by society. But it's
funny how you brought that up about our kids. Don't
understand that, because that was one of my biggest concerns
when I walked into Coppell as the head football coach,
because I was at which toftose Hershey, which has a
(13:17):
different socio economic status. I mean, it's different population, and
those kids needed me on a different scale. And in
a way that kind of fed my soul a little
bit as a human being because you get to go
out and every day you having a major impact on
youth lives. So the way I looked at it was
when I went to Copel and then I had to
kind of readjust because you get from the outside looking
in you think everything's always great because there's a little
(13:38):
bit of a bubble there, but it's not always what
people expected to be. And those kids needed me too,
just on a different level. Sometimes they need reality because
they don't get it anywhere else. Fact, and we have
great kids, great parents, great community, all that put together.
But one thing I get to do in the football
world is I get to give you reality all the time.
There's a reality check when you come to me every day.
(14:00):
There is no well I felt like I deserve now
you don't deserve anything. The only thing in life is
guaranteed to you. And football is a hard time. So
let's figure it out.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
So how did your path lead you to football when
you were a young kid there in eats Dallas, oh Man.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
We moved to Pleasant Grove, like I said, right there,
and I started. I didn't play high school football to
my sophomore year, and so I was a pretty athletic kid.
Could run, could jump, and do all that well. Going
through my sophomore year, I felt like I should be
a varsity player, but you know I was wasn't all
the way accountable. I was just kind of flirting with
the line. They didn't want to buy in one hundred percent.
So going into my junior year, my high school coach
Steve Pearce, who's still the head coach at Dallas Samuel Right.
(14:36):
Really yeah, still drive that same little white Toyota probably too.
He calls me into his office and he goes Antonio.
He said, there ain't no more straddling the fence for you.
He said, you either all the way in or all
the way out. I was that kid that was gonna
run around, possibly get in trouble, but nothing too major,
that kind of stuff. But I wasn't committed to the
(14:57):
task at hand. I wouldn't committed to the team goal
way that I needed to be. And so he told me,
he said you all the way in, all the way out.
He said, to tell you something, if you hangle crap,
you're gonna smell like crap. And that was his exact
message to me. And you know, I decided that at
that point I wanted to lock in and be a
high school football player and do that. Things went well.
I ended up getting a scholarship to go play at
Eastern New Mexico University and for the next four or
(15:18):
five years. That was great. I played straight through four
straight years It's weird though, because as you played through
those times in college, you have this structure, Boom, we're
gonna we're gonna work out at six am. We got
to be in class by eight, so you have to
eat breakfast between workouts and class. From eighth to noon,
you always had class and then you'd have two o'clock
position meetings and then so you'd have that little time
(15:41):
at two hours span or to eat lunch and get
ready for meetings. You go do that. So this is
an everyday reoccurrence. So two o'clock position meetings, you on
to feel at three thirty, off the field at five
forty five or something like that, head to the cafeteria,
go eat, go back, go to meetings, come back, do homework,
and do it all again. It's just a repetitive miss.
And then all of a sudden they snatched that structure
(16:04):
from around you. When you're done playing football and you
walk around lost. For I was lost. I mean for
three semesters. My GPA went from like a three seven
to a one nine because I didn't I did absolutely nothing.
I wasn't going to class half the time, wasn't doing anything.
Lost that purpose, yes, because that was my day. That
was what drove me, you know what I mean every day.
(16:25):
I knew it wasn't even a question in it. So
my coach called me in, another coach that was big
in my life, Eric Bowl, and he goes, you know
cause my parents like a lie to them. In college,
you say, oh yeah, my grades are grazy great. Ain't
nobody checking them up?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I'm going to class, I'm doing Ain't nothing going on.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
You're good, ain't Ain't no teacher call and said, hey, Antonio,
ain't been turning there nothing that don't work that way.
He said, you're grown in now. So coach Boll called
me because he knew he should have saved. He said, hey, tone,
he called me tone. So I go in as obvious,
say where you being?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Man?
Speaker 5 (16:53):
I go, coach, I ain't even gonna lie to you.
I ain't been doing nothing. I ain't even going to class,
ain't doing nothing. I'm just lost, man, I said, I
don't know what to do. He goes, let me ask
you this, what kind of life do you want to
give a little Tom? Because I had my oldest son
at this time. I had him when I was a
sophomore in college. And I go, coach, I ain't never
got to be rich in life, you know what I mean?
I said, All I got to be able to do
is buy my son a car when he leaves to
go to college, and raise him to be a productive
(17:15):
human being, an asset to society, not a blight, not
a leech. I want him to do something in society,
be an asset to his community. He goes, well, have
you ever thought about coaching? I go, no, not really.
I love a game, but I ain't never thought about
coaching it, you know what I mean. And so he
had me to come out. He talked to me a
little bit. So I decided to do it. So I
go in. I've changed my major at four times by
this point, so I'm so far away from graduating it's
(17:36):
unreal probably. And then so I go in. They say,
I said what I got to do to get into education?
I want to teach. I want to coach. And he goes, well,
it's a little late. You've missed the train on the
education side of it, he said, but you can change
your major from I like. At that time, I was
Business Communication Systems. So he said, you can change it
to university studies with emphasis on history and physical education.
(17:58):
He said, but you got a one nine GPA, so
you're gonna take twenty one hours. You can be done
in one semester. And you got to get a four
point oh GPA on it at the time. So I'm
over there, I'm like, sign me up. And so I
gotta go to so I gotta go to the dean's office,
and they got they gotta approve it. And I did it,
and I feed it out and I finished it. I
look back on those key moments, and a couple of them.
(18:19):
Outside of my dad and my family and my mom,
coaches had a major impact on where I landed.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So going back to when that high school coach sat
you down, what was it like when you stopped straddling
the fence and you fully committed to football.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
You lose some friends along the way that normally not
so much as you lose them, but y'all grow apart.
You don't become enemies or anything, just grow apart because
y'all's interest levels changed. You're growing into the next phase
of your life as a person, and they're going down
whatever path they chose. And if those two paths on
the line, it naturally creates separation. You still love them.
You know, you'll still say what's up, You're still hang
(18:54):
out with each other, but you know that day to
day interaction with y'all is going to be lessened because
y'all don't have the same goal right now, right.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And that takes a lot of conviction and discipline too.
I mean, I know that being clean and sober, you know,
I mean a lot of my great friends were no
longer my great friends when I decided to get clean
and sober. And it's the same type of thing. It's like, Okay,
well I want to be down this path. You're gonna
say on that path, that's fine, but I'm not coming
(19:23):
over there.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
I've been there, don't ask me to, right. And the
good friends, the true friends, the one that actually care
about you, they won't try to drag you down there.
They'll let you take your own path and they'll still
say what's up. But the dealer, they just know y'all
have grown apart.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
What was it about football?
Speaker 5 (19:40):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Man?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Is not about football, I say, it's a lot, man,
But it's the brotherhood part of it. The part of it.
You got a group of guys that when y'all walk
in there and y'all are playing this game together. This
game is all focused on all of us doing our
individual job to finish one goal. And when that unit
works as a whole and things go the way they should,
(20:03):
it's a beautiful thing. It's like any other thing in life.
You watch a car come down to the assembling line,
one of those machines work wrong, it's shut the whole
assembly line down. Watch a good football team work as
a unit. Watch a good offensive line work as a unit.
Offensive line and the other unsung heroes of a football game,
because everybody can tell when the old lineman is doing
it wrong, and they get no credit when they're doing
(20:25):
it right. For nobody but the o line parents. And
one thing they gotta tell running back to my quarterbacks,
you can celebrate with the rest of those skinny dudes anytime.
Go celebrate with your with your old line. Go tell
them thank you because he kept your quarterback clean. He
may created that gap for you to run the ball.
But watch a good old line, watch a good line
of work in unison. They take the first step running
outside zone or running zone, the zone comes up. Whatever,
(20:48):
it's a beautiful thing when you watch it happen.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Giant ballas there's nothing in the world like it. There's
nothing in the world.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Like one of the one of the coaches we know,
we're having dinner with his wife and it was like, god,
I mean, these guys are just getting bigger, stronger, faster.
And he was coaching another line and he said, you know, Jake,
really what it is is they're just giant ballerinas.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
I think they're a lot tougher.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, and I but it was like, you watch how
fast their feet are, how light they are on their feet,
and they're these massive human beings. And it's like we
tell the boys all the time, you got quick feet,
you can play in the sports.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Gotta have quick feet.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
I went out and watched a Cowboys practice last fall
one day and Tyron Smith walks up and he is
a massive human being. I mean you walk up on
him and you know, you think, oh, lineman, you think
out of shape kind of good. You know, No, these
dudes are six seven machines that got six packs. And
I mean, you're like, somebody, somebody bring my gun. If
(21:44):
I get into it him, it's gonna be something with
you know, you don't want like that guy. If he
hits on your wife. You're like, hey, really that's fine.
Just you hey, ba, we're good. He didn't say anything,
let's go. Let's go because I don't. I'm not gonna
back down. But I know this could get ugly real fast.
You know what.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, I'm with you. It's crazy. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean just watching the combine and watching it's like
one of these giants, I think it was three.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Hundred and what was he?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I think he was like three seventy or something like that,
and you ran, I think it was a sub four seven.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
That's like a Volkswagon running down, you know, like a
little v W. Yeah, to be in front of that,
So you know, that's that's I mean. But that's what
we're getting now. I'm getting to that generation where I'm
not the old coach, but I'm getting to where I've
been in it for a while. So I get these
young coaches that are twenty five, twenty six years old,
and they come in, you know, the age old question
(22:34):
about who's the greatest of all time basketball? All that
I don't even get me and my Corners coach started
because he he will like the day that Lebron James
broke the all time scoring record, he shows up the
next day with the lebron James Jersey, and so I
gave him the business. I tell him, I said, win
is win man, I said, And I'm gonna tell you
I never seen him Jay not win it, you know,
(22:54):
and he gets so welled up. So but you know,
that's the thing these kids are. They are bigger, faster,
more physical. That's why there are more serious injuries that
take place because these are violent collisions that are taking
place every play.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Talk about the heighs and lows of a football game,
how can you apply that to your life.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
I think that's why coaches coach football, because there's only
a few things in life that's going to give you
that same roller coaster of emotion that you go through
on a football field, and the roller coaster of emotion
you have to watch kids go through. You watch kids
completely tank and they're in a bad place and you
have to go pick them up, and you watch them
at the height that one moment where they look up,
(23:35):
their eyes are lit up and things are just right
and it's like everything in the universe just came together
for them right there in that moment. And in life,
there's only a few moments outside of you know, if
you're in the military, or you're a coach, or you're
an athlete or something like that, that you get to
experience those type of moments. That's watching your kids take
their first ship, watching them be born, that first time
(23:55):
you hold your baby, because it's a deal. Moms have
an instant connection with that baby. The first time that
baby moves around and they feel it it's done. Their
hearts are locked in. In my opinion, dads don't develop
that emotion until they hold them and until that baby's
in front of them. Now, ohs crap. Life's bigger than me,
you know what I mean. But there's only so many
moments for the average human being to come out and
(24:17):
experience those moments. But in the world of athleticism, you
get to re create those moments week in and week out.
That big play takes place and that kids come running
to the sideline and you body fiving them and you're
loud and you're screaming and you're getting after them, and hey,
we're gonna know. It's one of those things I always
tell them. I said, listen, let's blood in the water.
Let's go finish, because our quote, our thing, this shit
(24:39):
was deep water and you know, and we always talked about, Hey,
it's getting deep now. Because my thing is when people
ask me what do you mean by that, I say,
we're gonna train for those places like you talked about earlier,
of being in a place of discomfort. We're gonna train,
We're gonna get familiar, we're gonna get used to, we're
gonna get okay, we're being uncomfortable, and then we're gonna
drag our opponents to that point and see if they
can tread water with us, and if they can't, we're
(25:00):
gonna drown. But I think that's the same thing we
start talking about their emotional ride of life.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I mean, I want to want I want to run
through a wall right now.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
I know you want to suit up and go seriously.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Like I think I could do.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I could give you a good four minutes probably couch.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
Okay. It annoyed me, probably because I wanna say I
got about six hot plays, but I'm gonna say it's
gonna be six plays of fury. But after that, somebody
don't have to come pull me off and ambulance.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
I think it's so beautiful that you had this sport,
that you were able to put your everything into and
then turn it into a profession. How did you then
enter into coaching? Okay, this is the path I'm going
to go and then take us through that journey.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Oh man, I knew I loved the game, and I
knew I wanted to continue to be around it once
I figured out coaching was the avenue to do it
in You know, I started out in a little school
out in Nevada, Texas Community High School had an enrollment
of about three one hundred and fifty kids, and I
struck goal. I got lucky. I was the first year
coach that taught one PE class and got to stay
in the coach's office. Brian on Neil was the head
(26:09):
coach and got to hang out with him and talk
football all day and just go through it. Those small
moments that take place where a young man really needs you,
you know, whether it be a life situation, life circumstance,
or it's just something as small as a coach, I
really can't get this. Can we stop and go back
over it after practice? You know, you just see that, Oh,
and that kid comes back to you five years down
(26:31):
the road. You said something to that kid. You don't
even remember seeing it, but he goes, Coach, Remember when
you said this to me and you don't really but
you know, but Coach, you don't know, that meant the
world to me. I was struggling with this, so I
was going through that, you know what I mean, those
other moments in life that we'll never get back. So
be intentional. Start talking about when I'm talking to kids
and we're talking about life, or we're talking about whatever
(26:53):
circumstance they bring to me, I try to be very
intentional and very present in the moment with them because
different kids have differ strung and I promise you some
of the places I've been you'll see some real life
struggles from children that you feel like, Man, I go
home and I want to hoog my babies because you
know they they're blessed. They don't know that life's not
their bubble. They don't come you know, like when you
(27:14):
hit that light switch at home and the lights come on.
You turn that water foster and the water comes on
at over that friends and there's food in there. There's
kids that don't have that when they go home. You know.
That's why it was a big deal for me at
multiple places to make sure that we found a way
to feed kids like whatever it looked like. You know,
we wanted to find a way to get it done.
And I'll tell you I had some people in both communities,
(27:35):
every community that I've been into, like as a head coach,
which is which Taft Falls and Copel, that are willing
to go above and beyond for our kids. And that's
what it's about. I mean, that's a future.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
And that's it, and that's a community come together for
the greater good exactly to provide for that stability for
that future. And it's through a sport, you know why
it's a big deal. We ate lunch before we went
to the game and spoke to the kids. That night,
I was watching, I am serving everything, I am reading
all the kids.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I'm watching you, watching the.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Other coaches because I wanted to see, like how wired
tight is this unit that's my own mater And if
I needed to call you out, I was going to
And man, you got up and it was food. It
was done eating, time to get back to the stadium.
And it was like, as soon as you said something,
I looked at Ash and I was like, he's got
(28:28):
this shit wire tight. I said, that just reminded me
in the Marine Corps. You hear one snap and it's
like eyeballs and just a finger and everybody's gone.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
It's it was like, okay, good, they respect them. That's
most important, you know that.
Speaker 5 (28:43):
How do you get that from them?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Though?
Speaker 5 (28:45):
Right consistency, I'm consistently the same person. Whether it's I'm
consistently getting after their butt or I'm consistently loving on them,
it's all gonna come full circle. So when I say something,
I follow through.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
If I tell them don't, if the locker room's not clean,
I'm gonna get after you tomorrow. I'm gonna do it
like there's no well, they almost did it right, almost
gets you beat. You know, there's no almost got in
from the one yard line, almost got your beat, You
got stuffed. Live in the world of right now. I
take care of it right now, And I tell them,
how do you train kids? How do you train kids?
(29:20):
How you train grown ups? How do you change every train?
Everybody immediate response, not I was handling tomorrow. Don't put
it off till tomorrow. Let's do it right now. Let's
handle it right now. And I think that's living in
a right now society. You know that's the world I
live in, and I can live life that way as
a football coach. My wife it drives her crazy because
(29:42):
I'm like, I'm fiery, I'm wired up, but I don't
get stressed out like things that stress her out, Like
people will call me and ask me, hey, coach, you
want to come talk to us about this head job
or that head job, or possibly moving here or something
like that. She gets she gets all wound tight, like
I don't. I told her, I said, what do you
wound worried about? I'm passionate about everything I do, but
(30:03):
situations don't stress me out. I don't live in a
stressful place. Now, I'm wound tight. My heart rate gets up,
but as far as folding the pressure and stress. For
some people, stress overwhelms them stressful situations. I'll tell my
wife this. Since I was younger, even when I got
into tussles and got in the fights with people, everything
(30:23):
around me slowed down like it was in slow motion.
I promise you. I could see things that were happening
around me, and I wouldn't even understand how that happened.
But it's just my body's response to stressful situations. The
way I'm wired that's a gift.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah, you know, that's a gift.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I guarantee, see you, I've been in just so many
fist fights, if not more than you, And I promise
you that's a gift because not a damn thing slowed
down when I was in fist place.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
It was weird. It's weird to me, man. I don't
know how it happens, but that's the way it's always been.
Like I can remember everything that took place in that situation.
Like so when things get crazy and people are out
of control, I don't know if it's just something that
kicks into where I can kind of see it and
watch it for what it is or whatever's happening. But
I hardly ever lose my composure. And I tell our
kids that all the time. If you see me lose
(31:09):
my composure, hit the panic. But they know me losing
my composure is not me chewing you out of the numbers, right,
because that's what I do. That's part of who I am.
But if I'm freaking out, I don't know what we're
gonna do. You'll never see that from me, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
And that's why your kids respect you. That's why your
football players respect you, and your other coaches respect you
because you're consistent. It's so refreshing and Jake mentioned it earlier,
but we do it. It's more often than not that
we're talking to someone and we ask them who influenced
you or who.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Really played a part in that.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Coaches, you see it as a privilege, but you also
get the huge responsibility.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, because.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
What did football unlock in you?
Speaker 5 (31:47):
A sense of responsibility and accountability. I'm accountable for more
than just myself. It unlocked that before I had children,
and then children really brought it full circle, as in
this world is bigger than me, seriously and my desiring drive.
I was always competitive, but I think it unlocked a
different level of competitiveness for me because you know, I
(32:09):
think everybody wants to be successful, but who wants to
do the dirty work to be good at those things?
That's where rubber Measter Road and the greater are separated
from the average. When nobody's watching and nobody's they're pushing
you in PROD and you to be better. Are you
willing to show up and find a way to get better?
What's your day look like if you're trying to win?
(32:31):
Or are you trying to win in everything you do.
Are you like, Okay, I'll win at this because I'm
good at it. But this I'm not very good at it.
So I'm just gonna not try not to do this
as much. No, those great players find a way to
find their weakness and push their weight through those things.
You know, like ray Lewis is one of my favorite
football players, and everybody asked me why I said this
(32:53):
because of the way he played the game, his passion,
his fire, and one of his biggest quotes was, you
may be bigger than me, stronger than me, but you'll
never outwork me for sixty minutes. So will you allow
your opponents to outwork you? Will you allow when you
settle in life? Let's talk about that a little bit.
When you settle in life, I settle for being the
(33:15):
second best on my team. That means it's time for
me to quit doing that because now I don't have
no job to be better than you. And I tell
my backups every day, people who are not the starters,
your job is to take his job every day every day.
The starter's job is to try to keep that divide,
to keep you as his backup every day. If your job.
Ain't coming in here every day to try to take
his job and make me tell you not this week.
You almost had him, but not this week. And when
(33:37):
I tell you that, that doesn't light another fire under
you to be like, Okay, what do I gotta do
to jump him next week. That's where great teams are created.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Absolutely, most definitely, And that's what it's proof positive too,
that you can have that inner competition, right, You're after
the same goal when it's a championship, you after the
freaking dub. But having that inner competition it makes you better.
It's that iron Sharpen's iron saying you're only as strong
(34:06):
as your weakest slink. Hey, I can relate to that
from the days when I played and people I mean
just challenging you and you knew who was there and
who had it, and then you knew who was close
and the coach is damn sure.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
And you know what you do as a coach. You
put that guy in the feel More often you don't
take the job, but you find ways to get him
snaps at a different place where I got to get
him on the field because I know what he brings
to the party. You know, That's why I said, how
about that settling for being second? I tell kids all
the time, ever settle, because if you settle, you're settling
for being second best in life. Once you settle once
(34:38):
and you become a place where you're comfortable with settling,
you're gonna settle for being second best at finding a wife.
You're gonna see this girl over here, you think she's awesome,
but you're gonna allow somebody else to walk in and
talk to her before you do, because you settling. You're like, ah,
she may be out of my league. You're gonna settle
for being second and finding a job because he's a
little smarter than me. I know, I might out working,
but he's smarter and better than me, so I'll take
(34:59):
his assistant job.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
You see.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
And that's what people need to understand, all right, Because
I know that we talked about football a lot on
the show, and here's why. Because you were molding the
future leaders of this country, of possibly the world.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
We don't know, but you were making an impact.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
And you know because you were on the receiving end
as a kid who had no idea what the hell
you wanted to do or which way you were gonna go,
and the coach helped you get there, somebody who was
convicted and who they are and driven to give of
themselves just like you do with these kids. The same
reason they respect you, why you stand up and walk out.
They know it's time to go, so.
Speaker 5 (35:35):
You know, and I I've had coaches tell me that before,
like how you listen? How do you get them to
do that? So it's the standard. There ain't no dropping
the ball. It's a standard that we said and it's
going to be done that way or you won't be
on my team. That's the truth of it. And I'll
tell you this, I'm blessed I have a staff full
of coaches. You've always got this vision of what you
want your program to look like, but I need those
other fifteen men to pull that vision out. I'm telling
(35:58):
them what I want. But they helped me bring it
to fruition.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
And they would bleed for it, you know what I mean.
We got to Ashton, I got a spendi of time
with all of them. I mean, they would absolutely bleed
for you. You're you're a great people collector, and I
think that attributes to your success on the gridiron. And
I think that has everything to do with where you
started and where you are now.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
I just believe in doing right by people. I tell
guys all the time, I'll run through a wall for
you as long as you're doing your job. But you
better know if you ain't, I'm coming for you too. No,
and our coach will tell you. They're like, hey, we
love him, he's great to work for, but he's gonna
get after you if it ain't right. Sometimes I'll get
after a coach for a different response, because I don't
always get after a coach to get after the coach
(36:42):
that was indirectly at the kid. But I want to
see how that young man handles that situation. If he
goes down, sits on that bench, starts eating nice and
not in drinking gatorade and not worried about what just happened.
His coach got his butt shootout for him, that tells
me things have happened. Wow, that coach has failed to
create a create an environment where that kid loves his coach.
(37:04):
He don't have a relationship with that kid, so that
kid is not invested in him in the appropriate situation.
When you get after a coach about a kid and
that kid knows directly it was about his performance. He's
gonna be sitting over there waiting for you to quit
talking to that coach, And like, coach, that's.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Ownership and account that's exactly.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
What do you do to relax and recharge.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
I'll go fishing. I like to go out and do
some fishing, but I like to go catching a lot
of a lot of draw fishing. But you know, I'm
a big tinker, so I'll be out in the garage,
like you go, look at my grans. Wife gets so
upset with me because there's always stuff in there that
she can't park in the garage. He gets all upset.
So I'm I'm a guy that will I'll buy a
(37:45):
little small engines and work on him and do that
kind of stuff. Just something to keep myself busy, I
promise you. I'm probably ADHD all that all wrapped up
in the one, but I was never diagnosed, So it's
just one of those deals where I found ways to
cope with that extra energy without the medicaid and that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'd like to know one person or entity that had
the biggest impact on you, Okay, So it's the one
person that you can't go through a day living or
not and it'll be like this rest of your life
without thinking about that person.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
Probably my dad, no matter what, through all his faults,
because he wasn't perfect, you know what I mean, mistakes,
fought his own demons with prescription painkillers and all that
kind of stuff. But through all that, he showed me
how to be a man. He showed me how to
put my family first. He showed me that it's okay
to be selfless, you know, because I remember sometimes he
would cook dinner for us when we had moo to
(38:40):
Pleasant Grove and the paving company hadn't took off yet,
and he would make sure I ate, my mom ate,
my brothers ate, and it would be not as much left.
But he made sure his kids ate, and his wife ate.
So I think he's this. If I had to say
one person or one entity, it's him, because no matter
through all his faults, he showed me how to take
care of my family and be a man and treat
people right.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
I get emotional at least one episode.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
That's just that's beautiful, like truly a parental sacrifice. I
want to know, what would you say to a young
man sitting in East Dallas.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
Oh man, I tell him the world is bigger than
East Dallas. Just give yourself a chance to get out.
I saying you don't. You can't go back. I go back. Still.
My grandma still lives there, not as often as I
would like to. My Grandma's ninety three and she still
gets around and she does great. One matriarch of our
family does. But I'll tell you this, I tell him,
don't be afraid to embrace new challenges. The world is
(39:33):
a lot bigger than that small area that you're in.
Go out, enjoy life. Spend time learning about other cultures
and finer things in life, and not saying it's got
to all be about money and finances. Just find a
way to invest in other people. Learn about people, watch
people a lot earlier in life.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
Great advice.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
Coach antonio' Wiley not only the head football coach at Coppel.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
High School, the Coppo High School in Coppel.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Texas, where football is king, but also a great father,
a great leader, and a great friend.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Thank you so much for being here with us on
the good stuff.
Speaker 5 (40:06):
Thank you guys for having me. It's been amazing.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
You're a blessing for us to be able to call
family and brother bro and we appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (40:12):
Well appreciate you guys. I think it's amazing what you
guys are doing. Like I said, we love to jump
in and join in on some other stuff that you
guys got going. So just know that we're a phone
call away and Copeil Football still loves you and we
want you around.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
How pumped up are you right now?
Speaker 1 (40:29):
There's not a wall I couldn't run through.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
You were so ready to go put on that uniform again.
I mean, it's in our wall in a shadow box.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
It's kind of a drag that, like, I can't leave
here and go put this energy into something.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
It's like, no, just gotta go to dinner and do
normal life stuff.
Speaker 5 (40:49):
It's not it sucks.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
It's because we need this stuff, man, and we gotta.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
But that's on me.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
We got to figure out how to channel it and
use it for the greater good. But I mean, that's
why I could do this every day. I just need
this once a month, yeah, just once a month, just
one quick energy recharger, Like just open your mouth and
let the words flow feed my soul.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Absolutely, he's such a great leader of young men. He
is such a great husband and father, and clearly that
comes from his own upbringing and just that love of football,
which obviously you.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
And I share and have since day one. It's contagious.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yeah, I mean he's turned his passion into a paycheck.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Yeah, and he turned that program around the year before
he came to Coppel, they were four and six, nine
and two his first season, nine and two.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Like you said, he wants to win. He has no
interest in second place, and that's why he demands the
most of his people. That's not only his kids on
the team, but his assistant coaches. I mean, he's the
leader all the way around because he lives the example.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Coach Antonio Wiley such energy, It just it feels so
good to have these conversations. We hope that you were
inspired as well, and thank you so much for listening today.
If this episode touched you, please share it and be
part of making someone else's day better.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Put on your bad ass capes and go be great today.
And remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.
Thank you for listening to the good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick,
Leah Pictures and q Code Media, Hosted by Ashley Shick
and Jacob Shick, Produced by Nick Cassellini and Ryan Contos.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Post production supervisor Will Tindi.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
Music editing by Will Haywood Smith, Edited by Mike Robinson,
Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm Jacob Schick and I'm joined by my co host
and wife.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Ashley Shick.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a
gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,
first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental
and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
At One Tribe Foundation, we.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Believe everyone has a story to tell, not only about
the peaks, but also the valleys they've.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Been through to get them where they are today.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Each week, we invite a guests to tell us their story,
to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape
who they are and what they're doing to pay it
forward and give back.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Our mission with this show is to dig deep in
our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope
and inspiration their story has to offer.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
We're thrilled you're joining us again.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Our guest today is a great man. We met at
Jake's alma mater and where he played football, Koppel High
School in North Texas.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Go Cowboys.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Regardless of where you are in the world, football is religion.
Here in Texas and Texas high school football head coaches
are highly regarded.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
High school football brings communities together, and the coaches are
the ones who help shape these young athletes and leaders
in their communities.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We are so stoked to have head football coach at
Coppel High School, Coach Antonio Wiley here on the Good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
He's here to share his journey with us of growing
up in East Dallas in the path.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
That led him to where he is today.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Antonio Wiley, thank you so much for joining us and
welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Thank you guys for having me.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
We're thrilled you're here. We talk about football a lot
on this podcast.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
We just do.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
We're in Texas, Jake and I both grew up in it,
and from the moment we met you, we were.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Like, we've got to have Antonio on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Coach Antonio.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Coach Antonio just called me coach Antonio.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Why they don't do that?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Not your full name? Coach Antonio?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Cool the way, Yeah, but that's like asking me when
a four star general walks up to me, he's like
just call me Tom. I'm like, that's not gonna happen.
Like No, It's like I think it's a trap.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
But not only are you a head football coach in Texas,
you're the head football coach at Coppel High School, which
is drum roll please, Jake's alma mater.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Damn right, it is.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
That's what I'm talking about, telling me, go cowboy ouh,
let's get it.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Donet's cowboy all the way all day.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Y'all could sit here and do this for like the
whole the l the podcast.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Some people get it and some don't.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You guys are just so energetic, and it's like, yeah,
there's a reason that we don't suck that much, no doubt,
because everything's with purpose, speed, intensity. I don't get out
of bed and put my leg on before I go
to the bathroom and go I'm going to go completely
out of my way to be completely average today.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
In mys there's no place for average. If you're accept
being average, you need to go find something else to
do other than live because average ain't a place where
I can ever survive. Being a competitor and being an
athletics your whole life and growing up a certain way,
it breeds for competition, and if you accept being average,
you need to go play with the average. Kids don't
come in my world.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
And that's one of the main reasons we wanted to
have you here on the good stuff, because that is
what it's all about, right, that mindset, that good energy
that you just again have exuded from the moment that
Jake and I met you. We've been blessed to work
with not only your athletes, but a lot of the
athletes at cop LISD on some of our service projects
that we have. We love getting the kids involved, to
(03:45):
include our own. But I mean, you've got a fascinating story.
Take us back to the beginning.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Grew up Inner City Dallas. You know, a few blocks
from the State Fair, a neighborhood that was really high
crime rates, a lot of drugs, a lot of things
like that going on in the neighborhood. Crimes are normal there.
Gunshots are normal in that neighborhood. There's no such thing as, oh,
I live in a safe place. It was safe because
we made it safe because we took care of each other.
But outside people coming in and that kind of stuff,
(04:12):
or you had conflict with somebody from four blocks over.
You know, that's the thing about that neighborhood. We call
it East Dallas. But some people if you drove to
it like this is South Dallas. But you better not
tell us guys who were from East Dallas that to
South Dallas because we would have a problem with that,
you know what I mean. So it was a tough neighborhood.
I wouldn't change anything about that because it molded me
into the man I am today. I never walk out
(04:34):
worried about what's gonna happen. I just go in and
I say, whatever takes place, we're gonna jump in with
both feet and find a way to handle it. You know,
when we were coming up, games were a big deal.
During that time, we didn't have a lot, and I
didn't know it because we had I had a big
family growing up there. You know, we went through times
with not having a lot. Then my dad started a
playing company and that changed and things we had a lot,
and then we went back and forth. You know, you
(04:54):
go to times where lights might be off and then
in other times you've got you know, brand new cars
and other thing going your way. But I think growing
up in the neighborhood I grew up in, you see
a lot of things, you know. You see a lot
of a single parent homes, You see a lot of
young men get lost into the system. And I was
blessed because you know, I was that young man who
would toe that line. But I knew my dad would
kill me if I went too far, you know, But
(05:16):
also not saying I didn't go too far. Sometimes I
was just blessed God saw fit to let you walk
away from that situation, as opposed to where two days
later one of your friends didn't walk away from a situation,
or they got caught into something that would have normally
been a routine. You did something and you thought, all
it's easy, and all of a sudden it turns out
bad for him. And when I turned thirteen, I remember
twelve thirteen, we bought a house. We moved a pleasant grove.
(05:37):
You know. I was from eat Dallas right there, and
so I'm thinking, hey, we're moving up. Don't know, not
much difference in the neighborhood. Just you got a brick
house now instead of up here in Beam. That was
the one thing I went to Samuel, But games were
still relevant. I grew up in a place where right
there in these Dallas, where everybody were bloods, and it
was you're not in a gang, but everybody around you
is somewhat affiliated and that kind of stuff. So it's
(05:57):
one of those deals where when I went to Pleasant
grow I didn't understand it. That was unc territory when
I was in school, and they were all crips. So
I'm walking down the street with red jerseys and red
laces own and thinking everything's okay. Well I learned pretty quick.
I got jumped a couple of times time. But you
know what, life gave me opportunities that I would never
change anything about my life. My dad was a great
(06:18):
man in the short time that he was here on
her with us, great man. He taught me how to
take care of my family. He taught me the value
of just doing things the right way. I think that
all came from my grandpa, who was also a great man,
who would just give you the shirt off his back
and do anything for a person. He's one of the
best souls you ever gonna meet. I remember one time vividly.
My mom tells this story. If you listen to her talk,
(06:39):
she'll say, my grandpa just got a new car and
she's out. He let her drive it and she wrecks it,
so she's freaking out. She don't know what to do.
She gets him on the phone. That was back before
cell phones were real heavy. So you call him out
the landline and she goes, mister Clarence, I'm so sorry
that I wrecked your car. And he goes, baby, are
you all right? And she goes, yeah, he said, forget
that car, we'll get another one at something. You know,
(07:00):
that's just kind of the person he was. He was
all about and he would tell his sons when they
were wrong about their daughter in laws. They were all
crazy about him, you know, because like he got with
great credit and that kind of stuff. So when when
my dad got older he started having business and stuff
and he was doing well, my mom wanted a car
well my dad and didn't have to established credit that
my grandpa had, so he goes in. He was that guy.
(07:21):
Though once he said no about something, he meant it.
So when he went to when he went to him,
my mom go to car lots, and he'd ask my
mom before they walked in there, how much can you
afford to pay for this car? What's the monthly payment?
And she'd go this and he go okay. So when
they walk in there, you know, salesman always comes in
with these sales pictures and that kind of stuff. And
(07:41):
they come in and it could be ten cents over
what she said, and he goes, Nope, ain't doing it.
And if they can't budget, he's not budgeting. He'll tell her,
let's get in the car. She'd be like, I can
do that. Nope, you said this, and that's what we're doing.
You know, I'll tell you this is my life. My
life's been great. I had a great family. We were
poor and didn't even know it sometimes, you know what,
I just had three but I had a big family,
(08:04):
and so we talk about this. Let's talk about it.
My grandma had seven children, one girl. My family is
full of boys, I mean like from the top, so
that when people got in their scuffles with us, they
just like, oh crap, there's a try full of boys.
Because it's like within my grandma's children, there's only my
(08:24):
cousin Debora and my cousin Niecy are the two girls
in the immediate family right there. The rest of all
of her boys had boys too. And so you go
back to because I don't have any sisters, I got
two younger brothers. So it's just like we've got a
family full of boys. You know what. I mean yes,
and they were all a little rough cut, so when
it came time to get their hands dirty and mix
(08:45):
it up, we were Definitely. It was one of those
deals where if you come home and you've been in
a tussle with somebody and they didn't feel like you
wanted choose from to go back over and we're gonna
do it again, you know what I mean, So you
better get it done right the first time, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So we talk about this a lot trauma, right, But
in your case, it sounds like you had some very
strong men that, regardless of your environment, you had these
strong examples your grandfather and your father to live by
that they actually passed on that generational goodness of this
is how to be a man.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Yep, they did. They did a great job. The men
in my life were great, But we had some strong
women in our families too, my mom, my aunts. They
all just kind of locked on and held us down. Now,
I don't get me wrong. Did we get in trouble. Absolutely,
did we go out and find ways to do things
that we knew were possibly going to be suspect from
time to time. Absolutely, we also figured out that there
(09:38):
ain't no way to avoid it. Some people want to
avoid conflict so much in their life that they never
deal with those tough situations. Me and I think it's
been one of the biggest blessings of my life is
the fact that I learned how to take on conflict
head on and not dodge it and not avoid it
and have tough conversations, and when it had to get physical,
we took care of it and we moved on. Nowadays,
(09:58):
I think there's a weird dynamic going on because you
got people who want to be tough in front of
a camera on social media, but they also don't want
to actually do it when the rubber meets the road.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Keyboard Warriors, oh I keyboard warriors.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
No, That right there drives me crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
We live in a very passive society. People go out
of their way to avoid conflict or discomfort. Nobody wants
to be uncomfortable, and it's like that's the only place
you coul grow, you know, and you've got to meet
it head on. You have to step up and book
and right things, just like we tell the boys all
the time. Well you heard me tell your boys, Hit Coppell,
right things, right reasons, arrest, take care of yourself, no
(10:38):
matter what, if you fail, it better beat one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Don't be a fright to fail. That's the fear of
failure drives me every day. I tell people this all
the time. I say, because if I fail, I have
fifteen assistant coaches. I have a wife and kids at home.
They have wives and children at home. So if I
fail as a head coach, I don't only fail myself,
I failed them, so my job. What did I say?
They said, The fear of failure forces me to prepare.
(11:03):
And if you're not preparing, you're preparing to fail.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
That's what I always.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I said it yesterday morning, I said it this afternoon.
I said all the time, the fear of failure dictates
your greatness.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
What do you do with that failure? Are you afraid
to take a shot because you might fail?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
You know?
Speaker 5 (11:21):
I tell our kids all the time. I say, if
I put a mirror in front of you. I talk
to my football team. If I put a mirror in
front of you and it said, this is what you
have to go through to have a chance to play
sixteen games, to have a chance to play for a
state championship, are you willing to go through it? Even
though you might go zer and ten. That doesn't mean
you're not gonna fail. This is what you have to
(11:42):
go to to have a chance. How many of you
guys are gonna say, Coach, I'm in the boat still,
let's do it.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, you had these life lessons that a lot of kids,
like our kids do not have. Don't have a clue
what that's like, don't have an idea like, oh, it
depends on what color shoelaces I wear when I walk
like I might have to, I might have to throw down.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That is not a thing where they are.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I love this episode because you're proof positive.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That you channel it for good. You use it for good.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
And not only have you used it for good, you
practice gratitude daily because of it. And that is a mindset.
That's a decision you make and you use it to
your advantage. I just think it's an awesome thing that
is also unfortunately a dying thing in this country.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
And that's the thing I tell you a lot of time,
some of the best leaders are in rough neighborhoods. What
did I lead kids to do? What did I lead
their community in? That's the difference. Like some of the
worst criminals are the best leaders. People believe in them.
You go back through generation some of the biggest gangsters
and all that stuff. What did they do. They got
people to believe in them and by their message. It's
the same thing. So you can generate that power one
way or the other. You can decide to take people
(12:56):
down this path, lead them to a place of destruction,
or you can decide to take down the path of
greatness and say, hey, we're gonna find a way to
do right by people, do right by society. But it's
funny how you brought that up about our kids. Don't
understand that, because that was one of my biggest concerns
when I walked into Coppell as the head football coach,
because I was at which toftose Hershey, which has a
(13:17):
different socio economic status. I mean, it's different population, and
those kids needed me on a different scale. And in
a way that kind of fed my soul a little
bit as a human being because you get to go
out and every day you having a major impact on
youth lives. So the way I looked at it was
when I went to Copel and then I had to
kind of readjust because you get from the outside looking
in you think everything's always great because there's a little
(13:38):
bit of a bubble there, but it's not always what
people expected to be. And those kids needed me too,
just on a different level. Sometimes they need reality because
they don't get it anywhere else. Fact, and we have
great kids, great parents, great community, all that put together.
But one thing I get to do in the football
world is I get to give you reality all the time.
There's a reality check when you come to me every day.
(14:00):
There is no well I felt like I deserve now
you don't deserve anything. The only thing in life is
guaranteed to you. And football is a hard time. So
let's figure it out.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
So how did your path lead you to football when
you were a young kid there in eats Dallas, oh Man.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
We moved to Pleasant Grove, like I said, right there,
and I started. I didn't play high school football to
my sophomore year, and so I was a pretty athletic kid.
Could run, could jump, and do all that well. Going
through my sophomore year, I felt like I should be
a varsity player, but you know I was wasn't all
the way accountable. I was just kind of flirting with
the line. They didn't want to buy in one hundred percent.
So going into my junior year, my high school coach
Steve Pearce, who's still the head coach at Dallas Samuel Right.
(14:36):
Really yeah, still drive that same little white Toyota probably too.
He calls me into his office and he goes Antonio.
He said, there ain't no more straddling the fence for you.
He said, you either all the way in or all
the way out. I was that kid that was gonna
run around, possibly get in trouble, but nothing too major,
that kind of stuff. But I wasn't committed to the
(14:57):
task at hand. I wouldn't committed to the team goal
way that I needed to be. And so he told me,
he said you all the way in, all the way out.
He said, to tell you something, if you hangle crap,
you're gonna smell like crap. And that was his exact
message to me. And you know, I decided that at
that point I wanted to lock in and be a
high school football player and do that. Things went well.
I ended up getting a scholarship to go play at
Eastern New Mexico University and for the next four or
(15:18):
five years. That was great. I played straight through four
straight years It's weird though, because as you played through
those times in college, you have this structure, Boom, we're
gonna we're gonna work out at six am. We got
to be in class by eight, so you have to
eat breakfast between workouts and class. From eighth to noon,
you always had class and then you'd have two o'clock
position meetings and then so you'd have that little time
(15:41):
at two hours span or to eat lunch and get
ready for meetings. You go do that. So this is
an everyday reoccurrence. So two o'clock position meetings, you on
to feel at three thirty, off the field at five
forty five or something like that, head to the cafeteria,
go eat, go back, go to meetings, come back, do homework,
and do it all again. It's just a repetitive miss.
And then all of a sudden they snatched that structure
(16:04):
from around you. When you're done playing football and you
walk around lost. For I was lost. I mean for
three semesters. My GPA went from like a three seven
to a one nine because I didn't I did absolutely nothing.
I wasn't going to class half the time, wasn't doing anything.
Lost that purpose, yes, because that was my day. That
was what drove me, you know what I mean every day.
(16:25):
I knew it wasn't even a question in it. So
my coach called me in, another coach that was big
in my life, Eric Bowl, and he goes, you know
cause my parents like a lie to them. In college,
you say, oh yeah, my grades are grazy great. Ain't
nobody checking them up?
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I'm going to class, I'm doing Ain't nothing going on.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
You're good, ain't Ain't no teacher call and said, hey, Antonio,
ain't been turning there nothing that don't work that way.
He said, you're grown in now. So coach Boll called
me because he knew he should have saved. He said, hey, tone,
he called me tone. So I go in as obvious,
say where you being?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Man?
Speaker 5 (16:53):
I go, coach, I ain't even gonna lie to you.
I ain't been doing nothing. I ain't even going to class,
ain't doing nothing. I'm just lost, man, I said, I
don't know what to do. He goes, let me ask
you this, what kind of life do you want to
give a little Tom? Because I had my oldest son
at this time. I had him when I was a
sophomore in college. And I go, coach, I ain't never
got to be rich in life, you know what I mean?
I said, All I got to be able to do
is buy my son a car when he leaves to
go to college, and raise him to be a productive
(17:15):
human being, an asset to society, not a blight, not
a leech. I want him to do something in society,
be an asset to his community. He goes, well, have
you ever thought about coaching? I go, no, not really.
I love a game, but I ain't never thought about
coaching it, you know what I mean. And so he
had me to come out. He talked to me a
little bit. So I decided to do it. So I
go in. I've changed my major at four times by
this point, so I'm so far away from graduating it's
(17:36):
unreal probably. And then so I go in. They say,
I said what I got to do to get into education?
I want to teach. I want to coach. And he goes, well,
it's a little late. You've missed the train on the
education side of it, he said, but you can change
your major from I like. At that time, I was
Business Communication Systems. So he said, you can change it
to university studies with emphasis on history and physical education.
(17:58):
He said, but you got a one nine GPA, so
you're gonna take twenty one hours. You can be done
in one semester. And you got to get a four
point oh GPA on it at the time. So I'm
over there, I'm like, sign me up. And so I
gotta go to so I gotta go to the dean's office,
and they got they gotta approve it. And I did it,
and I feed it out and I finished it. I
look back on those key moments, and a couple of them.
(18:19):
Outside of my dad and my family and my mom,
coaches had a major impact on where I landed.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So going back to when that high school coach sat
you down, what was it like when you stopped straddling
the fence and you fully committed to football.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
You lose some friends along the way that normally not
so much as you lose them, but y'all grow apart.
You don't become enemies or anything, just grow apart because
y'all's interest levels changed. You're growing into the next phase
of your life as a person, and they're going down
whatever path they chose. And if those two paths on
the line, it naturally creates separation. You still love them.
You know, you'll still say what's up, You're still hang
(18:54):
out with each other, but you know that day to
day interaction with y'all is going to be lessened because
y'all don't have the same goal right now, right.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And that takes a lot of conviction and discipline too.
I mean, I know that being clean and sober, you know,
I mean a lot of my great friends were no
longer my great friends when I decided to get clean
and sober. And it's the same type of thing. It's like, Okay,
well I want to be down this path. You're gonna
say on that path, that's fine, but I'm not coming
(19:23):
over there.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
I've been there, don't ask me to, right. And the
good friends, the true friends, the one that actually care
about you, they won't try to drag you down there.
They'll let you take your own path and they'll still
say what's up. But the dealer, they just know y'all
have grown apart.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
What was it about football?
Speaker 5 (19:40):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Man?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Is not about football, I say, it's a lot, man,
But it's the brotherhood part of it. The part of it.
You got a group of guys that when y'all walk
in there and y'all are playing this game together. This
game is all focused on all of us doing our
individual job to finish one goal. And when that unit
works as a whole and things go the way they should,
(20:03):
it's a beautiful thing. It's like any other thing in life.
You watch a car come down to the assembling line,
one of those machines work wrong, it's shut the whole
assembly line down. Watch a good football team work as
a unit. Watch a good offensive line work as a unit.
Offensive line and the other unsung heroes of a football game,
because everybody can tell when the old lineman is doing
it wrong, and they get no credit when they're doing
(20:25):
it right. For nobody but the o line parents. And
one thing they gotta tell running back to my quarterbacks,
you can celebrate with the rest of those skinny dudes anytime.
Go celebrate with your with your old line. Go tell
them thank you because he kept your quarterback clean. He
may created that gap for you to run the ball.
But watch a good old line, watch a good line
of work in unison. They take the first step running
outside zone or running zone, the zone comes up. Whatever,
(20:48):
it's a beautiful thing when you watch it happen.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Giant ballas there's nothing in the world like it. There's
nothing in the world.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Like one of the one of the coaches we know,
we're having dinner with his wife and it was like, god,
I mean, these guys are just getting bigger, stronger, faster.
And he was coaching another line and he said, you know, Jake,
really what it is is they're just giant ballerinas.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
I think they're a lot tougher.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, and I but it was like, you watch how
fast their feet are, how light they are on their feet,
and they're these massive human beings. And it's like we
tell the boys all the time, you got quick feet,
you can play in the sports.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Gotta have quick feet.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
I went out and watched a Cowboys practice last fall
one day and Tyron Smith walks up and he is
a massive human being. I mean you walk up on
him and you know, you think, oh, lineman, you think
out of shape kind of good. You know, No, these
dudes are six seven machines that got six packs. And
I mean, you're like, somebody, somebody bring my gun. If
(21:44):
I get into it him, it's gonna be something with
you know, you don't want like that guy. If he
hits on your wife. You're like, hey, really that's fine.
Just you hey, ba, we're good. He didn't say anything,
let's go. Let's go because I don't. I'm not gonna
back down. But I know this could get ugly real fast.
You know what.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, I'm with you. It's crazy. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean just watching the combine and watching it's like
one of these giants, I think it was three.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Hundred and what was he?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I think he was like three seventy or something like that,
and you ran, I think it was a sub four seven.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
That's like a Volkswagon running down, you know, like a
little v W. Yeah, to be in front of that,
So you know, that's that's I mean. But that's what
we're getting now. I'm getting to that generation where I'm
not the old coach, but I'm getting to where I've
been in it for a while. So I get these
young coaches that are twenty five, twenty six years old,
and they come in, you know, the age old question
(22:34):
about who's the greatest of all time basketball? All that
I don't even get me and my Corners coach started
because he he will like the day that Lebron James
broke the all time scoring record, he shows up the
next day with the lebron James Jersey, and so I
gave him the business. I tell him, I said, win
is win man, I said, And I'm gonna tell you
I never seen him Jay not win it, you know,
(22:54):
and he gets so welled up. So but you know,
that's the thing these kids are. They are bigger, faster,
more physical. That's why there are more serious injuries that
take place because these are violent collisions that are taking
place every play.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Talk about the heighs and lows of a football game,
how can you apply that to your life.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
I think that's why coaches coach football, because there's only
a few things in life that's going to give you
that same roller coaster of emotion that you go through
on a football field, and the roller coaster of emotion
you have to watch kids go through. You watch kids
completely tank and they're in a bad place and you
have to go pick them up, and you watch them
at the height that one moment where they look up,
(23:35):
their eyes are lit up and things are just right
and it's like everything in the universe just came together
for them right there in that moment. And in life,
there's only a few moments outside of you know, if
you're in the military, or you're a coach, or you're
an athlete or something like that, that you get to
experience those type of moments. That's watching your kids take
their first ship, watching them be born, that first time
(23:55):
you hold your baby, because it's a deal. Moms have
an instant connection with that baby. The first time that
baby moves around and they feel it it's done. Their
hearts are locked in. In my opinion, dads don't develop
that emotion until they hold them and until that baby's
in front of them. Now, ohs crap. Life's bigger than me,
you know what I mean. But there's only so many
moments for the average human being to come out and
(24:17):
experience those moments. But in the world of athleticism, you
get to re create those moments week in and week out.
That big play takes place and that kids come running
to the sideline and you body fiving them and you're
loud and you're screaming and you're getting after them, and hey,
we're gonna know. It's one of those things I always
tell them. I said, listen, let's blood in the water.
Let's go finish, because our quote, our thing, this shit
(24:39):
was deep water and you know, and we always talked about, Hey,
it's getting deep now. Because my thing is when people
ask me what do you mean by that, I say,
we're gonna train for those places like you talked about earlier,
of being in a place of discomfort. We're gonna train,
We're gonna get familiar, we're gonna get used to, we're
gonna get okay, we're being uncomfortable, and then we're gonna
drag our opponents to that point and see if they
can tread water with us, and if they can't, we're
(25:00):
gonna drown. But I think that's the same thing we
start talking about their emotional ride of life.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I mean, I want to want I want to run
through a wall right now.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
I know you want to suit up and go seriously.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Like I think I could do.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I could give you a good four minutes probably couch.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
Okay. It annoyed me, probably because I wanna say I
got about six hot plays, but I'm gonna say it's
gonna be six plays of fury. But after that, somebody
don't have to come pull me off and ambulance.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
I think it's so beautiful that you had this sport,
that you were able to put your everything into and
then turn it into a profession. How did you then
enter into coaching? Okay, this is the path I'm going
to go and then take us through that journey.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Oh man, I knew I loved the game, and I
knew I wanted to continue to be around it once
I figured out coaching was the avenue to do it
in You know, I started out in a little school
out in Nevada, Texas Community High School had an enrollment
of about three one hundred and fifty kids, and I
struck goal. I got lucky. I was the first year
coach that taught one PE class and got to stay
in the coach's office. Brian on Neil was the head
(26:09):
coach and got to hang out with him and talk
football all day and just go through it. Those small
moments that take place where a young man really needs you,
you know, whether it be a life situation, life circumstance,
or it's just something as small as a coach, I
really can't get this. Can we stop and go back
over it after practice? You know, you just see that, Oh,
and that kid comes back to you five years down
(26:31):
the road. You said something to that kid. You don't
even remember seeing it, but he goes, Coach, Remember when
you said this to me and you don't really but
you know, but Coach, you don't know, that meant the
world to me. I was struggling with this, so I
was going through that, you know what I mean, those
other moments in life that we'll never get back. So
be intentional. Start talking about when I'm talking to kids
and we're talking about life, or we're talking about whatever
(26:53):
circumstance they bring to me, I try to be very
intentional and very present in the moment with them because
different kids have differ strung and I promise you some
of the places I've been you'll see some real life
struggles from children that you feel like, Man, I go
home and I want to hoog my babies because you
know they they're blessed. They don't know that life's not
their bubble. They don't come you know, like when you
(27:14):
hit that light switch at home and the lights come on.
You turn that water foster and the water comes on
at over that friends and there's food in there. There's
kids that don't have that when they go home. You know.
That's why it was a big deal for me at
multiple places to make sure that we found a way
to feed kids like whatever it looked like. You know,
we wanted to find a way to get it done.
And I'll tell you I had some people in both communities,
(27:35):
every community that I've been into, like as a head coach,
which is which Taft Falls and Copel, that are willing
to go above and beyond for our kids. And that's
what it's about. I mean, that's a future.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
And that's it, and that's a community come together for
the greater good exactly to provide for that stability for
that future. And it's through a sport, you know why
it's a big deal. We ate lunch before we went
to the game and spoke to the kids. That night,
I was watching, I am serving everything, I am reading
all the kids.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I'm watching you, watching the.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Other coaches because I wanted to see, like how wired
tight is this unit that's my own mater And if
I needed to call you out, I was going to
And man, you got up and it was food. It
was done eating, time to get back to the stadium.
And it was like, as soon as you said something,
I looked at Ash and I was like, he's got
(28:28):
this shit wire tight. I said, that just reminded me
in the Marine Corps. You hear one snap and it's
like eyeballs and just a finger and everybody's gone.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
It's it was like, okay, good, they respect them. That's
most important, you know that.
Speaker 5 (28:43):
How do you get that from them?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Though?
Speaker 5 (28:45):
Right consistency, I'm consistently the same person. Whether it's I'm
consistently getting after their butt or I'm consistently loving on them,
it's all gonna come full circle. So when I say something,
I follow through.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
If I tell them don't, if the locker room's not clean,
I'm gonna get after you tomorrow. I'm gonna do it
like there's no well, they almost did it right, almost
gets you beat. You know, there's no almost got in
from the one yard line, almost got your beat, You
got stuffed. Live in the world of right now. I
take care of it right now, And I tell them,
how do you train kids? How do you train kids?
(29:20):
How you train grown ups? How do you change every train?
Everybody immediate response, not I was handling tomorrow. Don't put
it off till tomorrow. Let's do it right now. Let's
handle it right now. And I think that's living in
a right now society. You know that's the world I
live in, and I can live life that way as
a football coach. My wife it drives her crazy because
(29:42):
I'm like, I'm fiery, I'm wired up, but I don't
get stressed out like things that stress her out, Like
people will call me and ask me, hey, coach, you
want to come talk to us about this head job
or that head job, or possibly moving here or something
like that. She gets she gets all wound tight, like
I don't. I told her, I said, what do you
wound worried about? I'm passionate about everything I do, but
(30:03):
situations don't stress me out. I don't live in a
stressful place. Now, I'm wound tight. My heart rate gets up,
but as far as folding the pressure and stress. For
some people, stress overwhelms them stressful situations. I'll tell my
wife this. Since I was younger, even when I got
into tussles and got in the fights with people, everything
(30:23):
around me slowed down like it was in slow motion.
I promise you. I could see things that were happening
around me, and I wouldn't even understand how that happened.
But it's just my body's response to stressful situations. The
way I'm wired that's a gift.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah, you know, that's a gift.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I guarantee, see you, I've been in just so many
fist fights, if not more than you, And I promise
you that's a gift because not a damn thing slowed
down when I was in fist place.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
It was weird. It's weird to me, man. I don't
know how it happens, but that's the way it's always been.
Like I can remember everything that took place in that situation.
Like so when things get crazy and people are out
of control, I don't know if it's just something that
kicks into where I can kind of see it and
watch it for what it is or whatever's happening. But
I hardly ever lose my composure. And I tell our
kids that all the time. If you see me lose
(31:09):
my composure, hit the panic. But they know me losing
my composure is not me chewing you out of the numbers, right,
because that's what I do. That's part of who I am.
But if I'm freaking out, I don't know what we're
gonna do. You'll never see that from me, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
And that's why your kids respect you. That's why your
football players respect you, and your other coaches respect you
because you're consistent. It's so refreshing and Jake mentioned it earlier,
but we do it. It's more often than not that
we're talking to someone and we ask them who influenced
you or who.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Really played a part in that.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Coaches, you see it as a privilege, but you also
get the huge responsibility.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, because.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
What did football unlock in you?
Speaker 5 (31:47):
A sense of responsibility and accountability. I'm accountable for more
than just myself. It unlocked that before I had children,
and then children really brought it full circle, as in
this world is bigger than me, seriously and my desiring drive.
I was always competitive, but I think it unlocked a
different level of competitiveness for me because you know, I
(32:09):
think everybody wants to be successful, but who wants to
do the dirty work to be good at those things?
That's where rubber Measter Road and the greater are separated
from the average. When nobody's watching and nobody's they're pushing
you in PROD and you to be better. Are you
willing to show up and find a way to get better?
What's your day look like if you're trying to win?
(32:31):
Or are you trying to win in everything you do.
Are you like, Okay, I'll win at this because I'm
good at it. But this I'm not very good at it.
So I'm just gonna not try not to do this
as much. No, those great players find a way to
find their weakness and push their weight through those things.
You know, like ray Lewis is one of my favorite
football players, and everybody asked me why I said this
(32:53):
because of the way he played the game, his passion,
his fire, and one of his biggest quotes was, you
may be bigger than me, stronger than me, but you'll
never outwork me for sixty minutes. So will you allow
your opponents to outwork you? Will you allow when you
settle in life? Let's talk about that a little bit.
When you settle in life, I settle for being the
(33:15):
second best on my team. That means it's time for
me to quit doing that because now I don't have
no job to be better than you. And I tell
my backups every day, people who are not the starters,
your job is to take his job every day every day.
The starter's job is to try to keep that divide,
to keep you as his backup every day. If your job.
Ain't coming in here every day to try to take
his job and make me tell you not this week.
You almost had him, but not this week. And when
(33:37):
I tell you that, that doesn't light another fire under
you to be like, Okay, what do I gotta do
to jump him next week. That's where great teams are created.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Absolutely, most definitely, And that's what it's proof positive too,
that you can have that inner competition, right, You're after
the same goal when it's a championship, you after the
freaking dub. But having that inner competition it makes you better.
It's that iron Sharpen's iron saying you're only as strong
(34:06):
as your weakest slink. Hey, I can relate to that
from the days when I played and people I mean
just challenging you and you knew who was there and
who had it, and then you knew who was close
and the coach is damn sure.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
And you know what you do as a coach. You
put that guy in the feel More often you don't
take the job, but you find ways to get him
snaps at a different place where I got to get
him on the field because I know what he brings
to the party. You know, That's why I said, how
about that settling for being second? I tell kids all
the time, ever settle, because if you settle, you're settling
for being second best in life. Once you settle once
(34:38):
and you become a place where you're comfortable with settling,
you're gonna settle for being second best at finding a wife.
You're gonna see this girl over here, you think she's awesome,
but you're gonna allow somebody else to walk in and
talk to her before you do, because you settling. You're like, ah,
she may be out of my league. You're gonna settle
for being second and finding a job because he's a
little smarter than me. I know, I might out working,
but he's smarter and better than me, so I'll take
(34:59):
his assistant job.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
You see.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
And that's what people need to understand, all right, Because
I know that we talked about football a lot on
the show, and here's why. Because you were molding the
future leaders of this country, of possibly the world.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
We don't know, but you were making an impact.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
And you know because you were on the receiving end
as a kid who had no idea what the hell
you wanted to do or which way you were gonna go,
and the coach helped you get there, somebody who was
convicted and who they are and driven to give of
themselves just like you do with these kids. The same
reason they respect you, why you stand up and walk out.
They know it's time to go, so.
Speaker 5 (35:35):
You know, and I I've had coaches tell me that before,
like how you listen? How do you get them to
do that? So it's the standard. There ain't no dropping
the ball. It's a standard that we said and it's
going to be done that way or you won't be
on my team. That's the truth of it. And I'll
tell you this, I'm blessed I have a staff full
of coaches. You've always got this vision of what you
want your program to look like, but I need those
other fifteen men to pull that vision out. I'm telling
(35:58):
them what I want. But they helped me bring it
to fruition.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
And they would bleed for it, you know what I mean.
We got to Ashton, I got a spendi of time
with all of them. I mean, they would absolutely bleed
for you. You're you're a great people collector, and I
think that attributes to your success on the gridiron. And
I think that has everything to do with where you
started and where you are now.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
I just believe in doing right by people. I tell
guys all the time, I'll run through a wall for
you as long as you're doing your job. But you
better know if you ain't, I'm coming for you too. No,
and our coach will tell you. They're like, hey, we
love him, he's great to work for, but he's gonna
get after you if it ain't right. Sometimes I'll get
after a coach for a different response, because I don't
always get after a coach to get after the coach
(36:42):
that was indirectly at the kid. But I want to
see how that young man handles that situation. If he
goes down, sits on that bench, starts eating nice and
not in drinking gatorade and not worried about what just happened.
His coach got his butt shootout for him, that tells
me things have happened. Wow, that coach has failed to
create a create an environment where that kid loves his coach.
(37:04):
He don't have a relationship with that kid, so that
kid is not invested in him in the appropriate situation.
When you get after a coach about a kid and
that kid knows directly it was about his performance. He's
gonna be sitting over there waiting for you to quit
talking to that coach, And like, coach, that's.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Ownership and account that's exactly.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
What do you do to relax and recharge.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
I'll go fishing. I like to go out and do
some fishing, but I like to go catching a lot
of a lot of draw fishing. But you know, I'm
a big tinker, so I'll be out in the garage,
like you go, look at my grans. Wife gets so
upset with me because there's always stuff in there that
she can't park in the garage. He gets all upset.
So I'm I'm a guy that will I'll buy a
(37:45):
little small engines and work on him and do that
kind of stuff. Just something to keep myself busy, I
promise you. I'm probably ADHD all that all wrapped up
in the one, but I was never diagnosed, So it's
just one of those deals where I found ways to
cope with that extra energy without the medicaid and that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'd like to know one person or entity that had
the biggest impact on you, Okay, So it's the one
person that you can't go through a day living or
not and it'll be like this rest of your life
without thinking about that person.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
Probably my dad, no matter what, through all his faults,
because he wasn't perfect, you know what I mean, mistakes,
fought his own demons with prescription painkillers and all that
kind of stuff. But through all that, he showed me
how to be a man. He showed me how to
put my family first. He showed me that it's okay
to be selfless, you know, because I remember sometimes he
would cook dinner for us when we had moo to
(38:40):
Pleasant Grove and the paving company hadn't took off yet,
and he would make sure I ate, my mom ate,
my brothers ate, and it would be not as much left.
But he made sure his kids ate, and his wife ate.
So I think he's this. If I had to say
one person or one entity, it's him, because no matter
through all his faults, he showed me how to take
care of my family and be a man and treat
people right.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
I get emotional at least one episode.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
That's just that's beautiful, like truly a parental sacrifice. I
want to know, what would you say to a young
man sitting in East Dallas.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
Oh man, I tell him the world is bigger than
East Dallas. Just give yourself a chance to get out.
I saying you don't. You can't go back. I go back. Still.
My grandma still lives there, not as often as I
would like to. My Grandma's ninety three and she still
gets around and she does great. One matriarch of our
family does. But I'll tell you this, I tell him,
don't be afraid to embrace new challenges. The world is
(39:33):
a lot bigger than that small area that you're in.
Go out, enjoy life. Spend time learning about other cultures
and finer things in life, and not saying it's got
to all be about money and finances. Just find a
way to invest in other people. Learn about people, watch
people a lot earlier in life.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
Great advice.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
Coach antonio' Wiley not only the head football coach at Coppel.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
High School, the Coppo High School in Coppel.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Texas, where football is king, but also a great father,
a great leader, and a great friend.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Thank you so much for being here with us on
the good stuff.
Speaker 5 (40:06):
Thank you guys for having me. It's been amazing.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
You're a blessing for us to be able to call
family and brother bro and we appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (40:12):
Well appreciate you guys. I think it's amazing what you
guys are doing. Like I said, we love to jump
in and join in on some other stuff that you
guys got going. So just know that we're a phone
call away and Copeil Football still loves you and we
want you around.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
How pumped up are you right now?
Speaker 1 (40:29):
There's not a wall I couldn't run through.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
You were so ready to go put on that uniform again.
I mean, it's in our wall in a shadow box.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
It's kind of a drag that, like, I can't leave
here and go put this energy into something.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
It's like, no, just gotta go to dinner and do
normal life stuff.
Speaker 5 (40:49):
It's not it sucks.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
It's because we need this stuff, man, and we gotta.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
But that's on me.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
We got to figure out how to channel it and
use it for the greater good. But I mean, that's
why I could do this every day. I just need
this once a month, yeah, just once a month, just
one quick energy recharger, Like just open your mouth and
let the words flow feed my soul.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Absolutely, he's such a great leader of young men. He
is such a great husband and father, and clearly that
comes from his own upbringing and just that love of football,
which obviously you.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
And I share and have since day one. It's contagious.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yeah, I mean he's turned his passion into a paycheck.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Yeah, and he turned that program around the year before
he came to Coppel, they were four and six, nine
and two his first season, nine and two.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Like you said, he wants to win. He has no
interest in second place, and that's why he demands the
most of his people. That's not only his kids on
the team, but his assistant coaches. I mean, he's the
leader all the way around because he lives the example.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Coach Antonio Wiley such energy, It just it feels so
good to have these conversations. We hope that you were
inspired as well, and thank you so much for listening today.
If this episode touched you, please share it and be
part of making someone else's day better.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Put on your bad ass capes and go be great today.
And remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.
Thank you for listening to the good Stuff.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick,
Leah Pictures and q Code Media, Hosted by Ashley Shick
and Jacob Shick, Produced by Nick Cassellini and Ryan Contos.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Post production supervisor Will Tindi.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
Music editing by Will Haywood Smith, Edited by Mike Robinson,
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