June 13, 2023 • 54 mins
Jacob & Ashley tell the story of how their paths continued to cross for years before eventually uniting for life. A third-generation combat Marine, Jacob was severely wounded in Iraq in 2004. As he began his journey of physical and emotional recovery, he also began working to help his fellow warriors. Ashley’s family history of military service inspired her to live a life supporting active duty & Veterans in need as well. As they each dedicated themselves to serving others, they met each other and joined forces in life, love and a united mission to fight suicide in the veteran community and beyond. Out of this mission, The Good Stuff Podcast was born. Welcome to their story.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to the Good Stuff. I'm Jacob Schick and I'm
joined by my co host and wife, Ashley shik.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a
gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,
first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental
and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy. At
One Tribe Foundation.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We believe everyone has a story to tell, not only
about the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through
to get them to where they are today.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story,
to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape
who they are and what they're doing to pay it
forward and give back.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Our mission went to show is to dig deep into
our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope
and inspiration their story has to offer.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
We're thrilled you're joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Again, Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
We want to introduce ourselves and our show to the audience,
and it's important to us that listeners know who we
are and why we're making this podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Absolutely. Our show invites guests to tell us their stories,
which is always a vulnerable undertaking, so we thought it
was only necessary and right that we do the same,
which is both scary and freeing and frightening exhilarating because
we know firsthand the therapeutic nature of telling your story
(01:27):
and more importantly, listening to other stories without further ado.
Here's us today's guests as a severely wounded marine returning
from combat with multiple wounds, amputation on my right leg,
dramatic brain injury, being a government issued drug addict, what
name boy's fault is the way it works out, and
doing eighteen months in the hospital, trying to figure out
(01:50):
my new norms, trying to learn to love myself again.
Well new to me I discovered through being voluntold by
my grandma. Telling my story was going to be my
first step in my journey of healing. That was something
that played a big role and saving my life, which
(02:10):
is empowering at the same time because it took me
walking through my fear and embracing my vulnerability to start
that journey, because we all suffer with that fear of
ridicule and judgment and all those things that they're the
constant extremely loud bullhorns and megaphones in our head telling
us you can't do this because of XYZ and being
(02:34):
able to embrace my inner warrior, not the marine one,
the one that everybody's born with. Is I think what
gave me the courage to say, you know what, I
need to do this one. I can't tell my grandmother
I'm not doing something that's not a thing. And I've
got to be able to walk through this valley regardless
(02:54):
of feeling like I was naked and people were shooting
at me. I had to walk through the.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Valley and ultimately it made you stronger.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Still does.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
We believe in this show because we know firsthand, not
only through the work that we do, but through both
of our own journeys, the healing power of accessing your
truth and telling your own story.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And we know how difficult it can be.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's the point. Anything we're doing, it is supposed to
be hard. It's by design.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You're exposing your emotions.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You feel like you're walking naked in front of the world,
But there's power in that and being able to speak
your truth freely.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
It's very empowering.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah, And that's the thing is that in everybody's story
there's still the victories, right there's still the triumph the winds,
because that's a daily basis thing, right, right, We wake
up and we decide as soon as our feet hit
the ground, our foot in my case, you're a victim
or a victor.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
You have two feet. The government just owns one, that's right.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
One of them is a loner. And that's okay. People
ask me how I feel about it. It's just a
tool for me to do the things I need to do.
That's all it is.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's just like being vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, I mean, and that's why I do what I
do still. Yeah, all over the world, I go in
front of complete strangers and I unzip my chest cavity,
and I spill my soul all over them with truth
and conviction and not really giving it damn who likes
(04:21):
me or not in the process, because it's my.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Truth and it does inspire people.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I've seen it firsthand because along with all of the
heartache and along with all of the loss comes the
triumphs and the victories and the celebrations.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
And that's what this podcast aims to do.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
All it is is just like you'll hear from so
many of our guests, and we've talked about so much.
It's mindset perspective. You know, you were your biggest advocate
or your own worst enemy. You. Every day you wake up,
you versus you, not you, versus your spouse not you,
versus your boss not you, versus your kids to you
versus you. The side victory as soon as your feet
(04:57):
hit the ground or foot and borrowed foot, whatever the
case is.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
And while I never enlisted in the military or the
Armed Forces, I grew up in a household where it
was extremely important to our family to have love of
country and respect the military and the sacrifices that they make.
We're a gold Star family, which means we lost a
family member while they were serving in our Armed forces.
My grandfather, Lieutenant Larry Dwayne Voss, was actually killed when
he was twenty four years old serving for the United
(05:23):
States Air Force. He was killed in a T thirty
three plane crash in Fairbanks, Alaska, and he left behind
his widow and his young two year old daughter at
the time, that daughter being my mother. Even through this
very tragic situation, you know, my mom still was a
forever patriot.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Still blows my mom to this day what she instilled
in you and your sister considering what happened right like,
it's just so very admirable.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
And that was the household that we grew up in.
And I found myself later in life after college working
in media in Austin and got the opportunity to do
a radio show to tell people's stories, and that was
really important to me to be able to share the
stories to the ninety nine percent of what the one
percent went through. We highlighted military members from the Austin,
(06:11):
Texas area. And while this work was rewarding, I was
always telling other people's stories. I was never vulnerable myself.
I never came out and told my truth and my story.
I found myself years later in an airport in Austin, Texas,
sitting across from a friend and being vulnerable, not by choice,
but that conversation is one that really changed my life
(06:34):
because that conversation and that friend was you.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I'm here to help, always have been, and I get that.
I understand the difficulty in being vulnerable and telling your
truth that's unadulterated, unmitigated, there's no boundaries. I know the
difficulty in doing that and asking people to do that,
(06:58):
but people will find that if they try it not
worried about who's going to show up to their funeral.
You shouldn't care. You'll be dead anyway. Like you're not
trying to get more people there, You're not trying to
be cooler. If people try to walk through that valley
of their own truth, they will see it is And
I'm speaking from life experience here. This isn't from a
(07:19):
book I read. It is the first step to you
not being a prisoner in your own mind anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And everybody's got a story, and those stories can often
provide the inspiration that we need or the perspective we
need to check ourselves to be inspired to go achieve
everything that we can achieve as human beings. Someone else's story,
someone else's trauma or tragedy can help. That's why we
want to make this show. We want to inspire people,
(07:48):
and we want people to know that they can live
their life to the fullest extent.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
All while I embracing their humanality. I have generation after
generation after generation of people that served in the military,
and I was raised in a house that didn't really
talk about it much. But luckily I spent pretty much
all my free time with my grandmother, who was if
I could idolize somebody. It was her Memi, Memi, like
(08:16):
Gunna used to always say about certain marines. She was
harder than would pick her lips. But I loved her
and she loved me, and it was boundaryless love. She
was my ultimate example of service and sacrifice on what
that looks like, and being a servant leader and giving
of yourself to help others. And I was with her
(08:39):
every step of the way, and I learned so much
from her about being kind, staying humble, and working hard.
That was me me. If she loved you, you knew it.
If she didn't, you knew it. That was as used
to always say, what I suffer from, what comes up
comes out syndrome. She had no filter, and I loved
(09:00):
that about her. I got to see at a very
early age why things got done, how things should get done.
There shouldn't be sugarcoating or fluff. There shouldn't be emotions involved.
You have an objective. To accomplish that objective, you have
to straight line it. That's what Mimi was and I
got to see that on the regular. And I remember
Mimi being so convicted and me knowing and understanding how
(09:24):
much she loved and was devoted to my grandfather, who
unfortunately died a couple of years before I was born
and was the first generation marine in our family. And
how she would talk about him and her eyes would
light up, literally, her eyes would light up, and her
chest would swell with pride, and she would always tell
me she reminded me up until the day she died.
So maybe ever since your papa died, I never so
(09:45):
much to dance with another man.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That was her soulmate.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
That was where I learned loyalty, That was where I
learned faithfulness and dedication, all those things. It almost all
of dare I say, everyone takes for granted today, and
I'm grateful. There was a guy in her neighborhood everybody
(10:10):
called Red. I'm pretty sure what was his name, but
everybody called him Red. And she said, come on, baby,
we're gonna go down to Red's house. And I just said, yes, ma'am.
We went to Red's house. I think I was five
when this happened. I'm pretty sure I was five years old.
It's one of my only memories at that age. Whether
(10:30):
that's from Trump, from childhood and trying to block things
out or what have you, but I remember going to
Red's house with me and me she sat me on
his lap and Red pulled out the scrap book. Well,
and it turns out Red was a combat photographer in
World War Two. And he started flipping through the scrap
book and I was looking at all these pictures from
(10:53):
all over the world, and then he got to this
one spot and he went to turn the page, but
he stopped and he placed his hand on the page
so I couldn't turn it. And he looked at her,
and she looked at him, dead in his eyeballs like
it was high noon, and said show him. And he
turned the page and it was pictures of a liberated
(11:14):
concentration camp and just the piles of emaciated bodies and
the destruction and showing how evil humans can be. And
I remember that like it pierced my soul. It was
something that spoke to me, almost at a spiritual level,
(11:35):
like Okay, you've got to do something. You have to
do something to be a part of something bigger than
you'll ever be, to help stop something like this happening
ever again. And then just a few years later, the
age of eight, is when I made the absolute determination,
all right, I'm going to be a marine, come hell
or high water.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Eight years old, I felt.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
It in my bones that this is what I was
supposed to do. I was put on this earth do
this thing. And I felt it and it never left me,
you know. And I played sports growing up and excelled
as a football player here in Texas, and but I
which yeah, which is here. It's a religion. But I
knew this is what I want to do, and I
was so convicted in it, but I just never talked
(12:18):
about it. Yeah, and then the beginning of my senior year,
I signed up and just didn't tell anybody. I'm so
grateful I did that. I have zero regrets about any
of my service to this day.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Can you signed up in two thousand and one?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, it was actually two thousand. It was actually beginning
of my senior year was two thousand because I graduated
no one, so clearly it was like August two thousand
and I went in took the asvab My recruiter, awesome recruiter.
I mean a lot of guys don't can't say that
(12:55):
guys and girls have been screwed by the recruiter. I'm
not one of them. I had a really locked on
recruiter who actually tried to taught me how to going
if tree. He was like, Jake me, you know you
don't have to do that. You're never really crappy living
conditions and it's going to suck. And I'm like, that's
the point. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to experience
the conditions of Eugima, which your grandfather did, right Like,
(13:16):
I'm pretty sure it's not going to be that bad.
And quite frankly, like I kind of need to have
my ass kicked because I'm just kind of spinning out
of control right now. I'm young, and I'm stupid, and
I know that I don't have enough self discipline to
go be in a college setting and be productive and
(13:36):
all those things. And besides that, I've wanted this since
I was a little kid. You're not talking me out anything.
And so I did, and then of course not loving happened,
and that was a huge, huge awakening for me. When
I watched that second plane at the South Tower, I knew,
you know. I looked at Danny and I said, we're
going to war. Yeah, and we did. I was nineteen
(13:58):
at the time, and it was like, Okay, tough guy
about to see how talk you really are.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And I remember I was in college in sam Marcus
on nine to eleven and I was in an eight
am psychology class and some kid came running into the
room and I immediately left the class and ran down
to the quad to watch this tiny little TV and
saw the second plane hit the South Tower and I
just remember, you know, the day the world stopped turning, like,
(14:25):
how helpless and how vulnerable and how scared we all
were back then. And I had two friends deploy immediately,
one Marine and one Army. And I remember I was
just this broke college kid in sam Marcus, Texas. But
I wanted to help, right, I wanted to do something.
And I knew I wasn't going to go put on
a uniform and serve because I was on a different path.
(14:48):
But I wanted to contribute, so I just I started
writing letters like for me, and it was probably you know,
more for me, but I just thought, well, this is
a way I can contribute, right, what's the cost of
a stamp?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
And that mindset that was why we won World War
One and World War Two because it was a collective effort, right,
everybody came together, raised color, creed, religion, was all irrelevant.
Everybody came together and supported the war effort, and so
you doing that it had more of an impact than
you realized. Not only was it therapeutic for you, but
it was therapeutic for the people receiving the letters.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I would probably be so embarrassed if I read any
of the letters today, because I'm sure that it was mundane.
It was just, you know, this is what happened today
back here in college.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
But speaking for someone who's been on the receiving end,
didn't matter. You didn't want to hear about I saw
on the news blah blah blah. Right, you wanted to
hear about the mundane seemingly doesn't matter to ubs that
the everyday people were doing because for a moment, it
took you out of the place you.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Were, and that was the goal.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
That's honestly where the tiny little spark that was already
inside of me to serve really grew. That was the
fanning of the flame that hey, this is something I
want to do. And I started getting more involved, and
that's really where it began for me.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You know, for me, the more time we spent in
the workup and then eventually deploying and going to Iraq,
and the more we went through, the more hardships. And
we were already a tight knit unit even when we
got to twenty nine Palms. Every day we got tighter
and tighter and tighter. I mean, we were a straight
(16:28):
up family, no doubt about it, no questions asked, none
of us shared DNA, and we had an unbreakable bond.
You know. It was something that is extremely hard to
replicate on the civilian sector. It is so very difficult,
and I think that's because essentially we flow around in
our little bubbles, that's our own reality. Comfortable, yeah, no doubt.
(16:53):
And we were able to have human to human connection
in a way that we otherwise didn't because of very
high highs and super low lows. Yeah, and we had
to find some type of commonality to get us back
to what was somewhat our middle baseline in order to
(17:16):
be effective for the next and then the next and
then the next. And it was a constant You're going, going, going, going, going, going, going,
and you don't have time really to sit back and
go hmm, oh no, what my parents have for dinner.
That type of stuff doesn't like, it didn't even cross
your mind. You're just like, Okay, what's the next thing.
(17:37):
You just keep moving, moving, moving, just a.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Huge adrenaline dump, exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
It's hard to describe. And it's one of those things
that's like unless you've been there and done it, Like
it's really hard to explain. Right, I remember the day
that I got hit, because I always say I got
blown blown thirty feet the top of the Humbee when
are our lead vehicle hit the ied. I landed on
(18:04):
my head because I'm a marine and we believe in
good form because we're the best. But I never lost
consciousness and I never wanted a shock. And it took
the black Hawk forty two minutes come and get me,
and it was a really long day at the office.
I get ruined my whole day. But I remember, to
this day, I can see it, just like when I
was on Red's lap, Like I still see it in
(18:25):
my mind's eye, like it literally happened yesterday when the
pilot took off and he dipped the bird and I
could see my guys, my family out of the corner
of my eye looking up. And that to this day
is the hardest part of all of it. By leaving
(18:46):
my fellow warriors behind, it felt like it was worse
than death. And to this day I can say that
is a fact, which I think is why I dealt
with some anger. And I was such a awesome patient.
I felt like I was robbed of the one thing
(19:07):
I wanted since I was a little boy. And I
didn't get the quote God given right unquote to die
as a gladiator on a field of battle. And even
though I told God, just don't take me in front
of my brothers, I'll ask, it's so contradictory. But there's
a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
You just had that absolutely unbreakable bond that so you're right,
so many people don't experience that.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, And it's sad to me because the global pandemic
has proven we're herd animals. We need interaction with each other, right,
and when you do it at an extreme level, you
get a taste of that, and then that becomes the
definition of what you need and who you are and
all those things and your why.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
And I started to experience that.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
At the time, I had just gotten out of college
and I was working a media in Austin, and that
led to me working for one of my clients who
was a national homebuilder, which led to me going to
Fort Hood, Texas and working with a Congressional Medal of
Honor recipient at Fort Hood, Texas helping military families. And
that's when my eyes were really opened to what military spouses,
(20:19):
military families, military individuals themselves, and veterans, wounded veterans were
coming back and really what they were dealing with and
what they were lacking.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, you got a front row seat to the other
side of the ball that most people don't think.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
About, absolutely being there at Fort Hood and working firsthand,
not only employing military spouses with the organization that I
was running, but just all of the ones that would
come into the office and sharing with us.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Some of these kids.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Were fresh out of their hometown. They'd never left their hometown.
Then they got married to their high school sweetheart. Now
the high school sweetheart's deployed and they don't know basic
stuff like banking or how to find housing.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Then there were the extremes.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Stories where the guy was over in Afghanistan with two
young children back home and the wife took off and
took everything and left the kids at home, and he
had to come home from Afghanistan because his kids were
at home unattended you know, it's it's again, it's what
do we do well? We can adopt them for Christmas?
And having the little girl go to church and say,
(21:21):
you know, I heard Santa's not coming to our house
this year. Stuff like that that it was like, okay,
if not me, who if not? Now went That's when
the heart for service grew because there was the need
and it wasn't just the basic stuff at forehood. It
wasn't just the extreme circumstances. It was even our veterans
coming home and finding out that some of them weren't
(21:42):
getting paid what they were doing, so they were struggling
to make ends meet while they were in the hospital
recovering from a double imputation. It was all kinds of stories,
and we've got to do better as a country to
this day. Even though we've been at this for years
and we've already done the draw down overseas in both
of the major locations we were in, we still have
(22:03):
to do better. I knew from my own personal experience.
Gold Star families don't get treated as well as they should.
Their loved one gave their ultimate, gave it all in
service to this country. We've got to step up and
do better.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, well, I'm not going to disagree.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
You better not.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
And it's important for me to state though that I
come from a place that is obviously a much different
perspective than yours for obvious reasons. But I don't I
didn't do anything I did for somebody to owe me anything, right,
And I think that's important too, is that we have
to have ownership and accountability of the fact that nobody
made us do anything. You know, that's important that people
(22:45):
remember everything has a price. Yeah, nothing's free. Free is
a made up marketing word. Period. Someone somewhere, somehow paid
for it some way. Nothing's free to include our freedom.
And regardless of how you feel about this nation, regardless
of the faults, the division, the politics, it is the
(23:08):
freest country in the world.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yes, guaranteed you know the struggles because you first hand
dealt with them. Eighteen months you spent in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I found myself in the hospital, and I found myself angry,
reverting back to all I knew fighting just everything was
a fight, and I feel like that's where, for whatever reason,
growing up, like that's what I did. When I'm backed
into a corner, I'm going to fight my way out
and I went from fighting in a combat zone to
fighting from a hospital bed, and a lot of relying
(23:43):
on my grit to get me to the next minute,
and then the next minute, then the next minute, because
it was not a day by day thing. Yeah, especially
the first several months I was home. It was a
minute by minute thing where even when I blinked hard,
it felt like getting blown up all over again. And
dealing with the people I dealt with. The loss and
the trauma and the tragedy didn't stop when I got
(24:06):
back home, meaning to America, because it seemed like once
a week, every week I was in the hospital, I
was paying my respects to a flag great body in
a hospital room, and then talking to the families and
telling them I'm sorry, knowing that a lot of them
(24:27):
were looking at me and thinking how come you lived,
not having an answer for that. That's an interesting position
to be in, because then you feel guilty, and then
you feel shame, and then you feel all these things
of Okay, well, why did I live? Why was I spared?
Why did I get to keep carrying on regardless of
(24:49):
the fact that I'm a now drug addict soon to
be alcoholics, Like why now I'm able to answer that.
I think it was a lot more conviction through truth
and with the pure heart where was before? You know,
I couldn't because I was lost for a long time.
And I remember the first time I was asked to
go speak, and it was by my grandmother. You know
(25:10):
that you can't say no to even if she said
something crazy, which to me, I need you to come
speak to my rotary club, Like that was crazy. It's like,
are you crazy? And of course I didn't say that,
but I'm thinking it.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Yes, ma'am, What the hell are you?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Why are you asking me to do this? Completely forgetting
the fact that she has been on this earth way
longer than me and has a ton more wisdom. And
so of course I went and did it, and it
was horrible and I was high and all I thought
about was getting more high. I'm pretty sure eighty percent
(25:49):
of the room fell asleep because I was probably about
fifty years the junior in the room, and it was
just a horrible, horrible deal. Like I was sitting there,
I was sweating grind aids, and I was just like
I just ready for this to be over. With the
fact that I even do question and answer now when
I do public engagements is crazy to me because when
I was done, I remember, like, I walked off the
(26:13):
back part of this podium inside a white room with
a lot of white hairs, and I walked out the
back doors and when I finished, I don't even remember
how I finished, but I'm pretty sure. I'm like, that's it.
And I was already walking out, you know, not well
because I was still healing, but I couldn't get a
(26:36):
cigarette fast enough, right, And I walked outside and I
burned one, and my grandmother walked out there and she said, so,
how do you feel. I looked at her and I said,
you know what, actually knowing that it was it was crap,
and that it was just me tripping over myself. But
it was the first time I told my story, and
it was the first time I told my truth and
(26:58):
how it had happened. And I left a lot of
stuff out because I wasn't fully embracing my vulnerability yet.
And I just said, you know, I feel lighter, I
feel a little bit better. And she just looked right
at me and said, good, that was a point and
walked away. And I was like, damn it, freaking brain ninja.
But now I totally get it well for sure. It
(27:18):
was just like when people ask you, how long are
you going to do this speaking stuff? Because inevitably I
bitch about having to do it because we're so spoiled,
and I'm like, you know, you hear me do it
weekly when I'm like, oh, I don't want to go
do this thing or whatever because there's so much going on.
And then I get done and I look at you
and I'm like, hey, I'm so glad I did this thing.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, because you feel lighter because every time it's.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Therapy, it's therapeutic, it's cathartic. And when people ask me,
and you've heard me say it to him, how long
are you going to do this? When are you going
to stop doing this? And I always say, when I
walk off of a stage or I leave a place
and I don't feel lighter, is the day all stop?
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
But now I'm just very honest with the audience. Isn't
like tell him like, hey, I'm here for me just
as much as you're here for me, exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
And by the time we had met in twenty fourteen,
you had been public speaking for years and had really
honed your craft. I'd been doing my real hero show
for a couple of years at that point, and we
actually met at a veterans event in Fort Worth. It
was just such a great thing to meet you. And
I remember, and I remember Jackson, your oldest was three
(28:25):
at the time, and he looked so cute in his
little cowboy outfit, and we were at the stockyards and
I just remember walking up to him and saying, you're
gonna push me around the dance floor later, and he did,
and that was the well I carried him. But I
was the first person he ever danced with. That's super
special to me.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I remember that as hammered as I was, I remember
that it was a beautiful moment. That is something that
it's almost like God knows what he's doing. Yes, I'd
been speaking for a while, and I'd been doing a
lot of work and trying to discover things about me
(29:03):
that made me do things that I did, or decisions
I made or whatever. And I was very much in
my journey to healing. And it was not pretty because
I was definitely abusing alcohol, doing the occasional drug, not
yet living the way I needed to live. Yeah, I was,
by no means being an effective example to my son.
(29:25):
I was by no means being an example to my family,
my community, And it was something that I really struggled
with because we all deal with this form of hypocrisy
when we say one thing and we know that we're
not doing the thing, you know, which makes it harder
for us to ultimate goal love the person staring back
(29:45):
at him in the mirror. Only then can you truly
be effective in your fight for the greater good. Doesn't
mean you can't have grit, doesn't mean you can't get
things done. It doesn't mean you can't be effective for
other human souls, because I did all that for years.
But how much was I truly fighting for the greater
(30:06):
good while I was fighting myself every step of the way.
Now that I'm able to most times be in a
peaceful place and be convicted who I am and love
the person inside this skin or what's left of this skin,
like I feel it now more than I ever have.
(30:29):
And now that I'm clean and sober and understand human
psychology and the human element the way that I do
because of my own demons, I'm taking the bull by
the horns, if you will, and understanding why my mind
works the way it works, and what post traumatic stress
really means and what that is, which ultimately for everybody listening,
(30:50):
is nothing more than a normal reaction to an otherwise
abnormal situation. Does it mean like you're completely messed up
and there's no turning back. It's not what that means.
It means that was completely normal.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
And I know veterans are the ones that were that term,
and that kind of got coined initially. We don't own it,
but veterans don't own PTS to.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
You've been around a long time.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
It doesn't matter what you've been through diabetes, or if
you've been raped, or you've gone through family abuse or what.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Anything, anything, It makes you normal. Our bodies have things
that are built in to help us survive these situations
in order to thrive. That's all that means. And that's
why you hear me say all the time to people
all over it's okay to not be okay. That makes
you normal.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
You're not going to ever wake up every day the
rest of your life and ride on your unicorn on
the rainbow to and back from the office. That's not
real life. That's not reality. But the more that you
can embrace it and fill it, which through my journey
through sobriety. It was very free and I learned a
(32:01):
lot of these things at the Center for Brain Health
and Brain Performance Institute well before I actually got into
the nonprofit realm. It was a constant discovery of my
own soul. It was like an onion pill in the
layer's back and then having all of these epiphanies like, oh,
that's why I did that thing, was to counteract that thing, right,
(32:22):
probably happened when I was a little kid.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Childhood trauma.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
But you also had veterans they're working with you that
you were able to kind of start some of that
peer to peer support.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Absolutely, that's something that I think doesn't get enough praise,
and it doesn't have to be just through veterans. And
that's what I think is really important for our listeners
to understand is this is not a show about veterans.
This is not what that has to do with. This
is a show about human beings dealing with human issues
(32:54):
in order to thrive and what tools they utilize to
get them through the valley. It's not just about veterans.
And I was very adamant from the very beginning, like
it doesn't need to be veteran heavy. I don't want
this to be veteran heavy because I need people to
understand we're all relatable through pain and suffering. That's the
(33:16):
thing that we all are on the same playing field.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I'm uncomfortable right now. I am so used to telling
other people's stories. I've been doing for decades.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
But I really appreciate you right now, and I've got
to just I've got to say my gratitude. I'm really
grateful to you for owning that shit right now because
I know how much you've been stressing about this, and
it's so huge to me. I want people to feel
what I feel when I walk off the stage. I
want people to feel the freedom of embracing their humanality
(33:50):
in the truest way that you possibly can, because that
is the first step to reaching your full potential. Right, So,
gratitude moment, and I just want to give that to
you realquick. Yeah, you're exactly right about that peer to
peer thing, and I think that that's something that is
really really vital to people's growth forward. I've been in
(34:12):
so many different situations, in so many different rooms with
my fellow brothers and scissors in arms, having these conversations
and being able to watch their soul actually get lighter
through this period of peer talking about and sometimes and
oftentimes actually it doesn't have anything to do with combat,
doesn't have anything to do with a wartime experience, doesn't
(34:35):
have anything to do with what the media is obsessed
with showing over and over and over and over, because
for a lot of us, we were really prepared to
know because of what we volunteered to do, it's highly
likely we're going to be in a very volatile situation
that's going to be memorable. There's a lot of us
(34:55):
that were a lot more prepared that the media gives
us credit for. But what we don't talk about is
the demons we had before we put on the uniform.
That's not talked about, like what was there before, the
gnarliness from the military, the.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Childhood trauma, and then you just exacerbate it. But that's
putting on that uniform.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And you're right because there are so many resources out there.
One of our best friends, Renee McQuillan, she lost her
husband two years ago who was a very very dear
friend of mine for twenty years and it was extremely
traumatic and she got up and forced herself to go
to one of the grieving widow's support groups, and I
know her soul felt lighter after that. Whatever you're facing,
(35:36):
there are resources out there. That is one of the
beautiful things about the peer to peer and reaching out
and sitting in a room with like minded people that
just have the opportunity to talk it out.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah, And I mean I remember the column though I
had with Renee, pacing in my office back and forth,
back and forth because I was like, I have no
idea how this is going to end. But I remember
her telling me after the fact that was the springboard
I needed to take that deep dive into the journey
of healing. And that was a prime example of peer
(36:08):
to peer. That was somebody who's experienced significant trauma giving
someone else, empowering someone else to take that first step.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And it's one of the things that I think about
and I try to think about often. You have to
be so careful, just like people with diets and who
want to be fit and be healthy. You watch what
you put in your body. That goes the same with words,
that goes the same with music that you listen to.
You have to be so protective over your environment and
over what you're putting into your body. And I think
(36:38):
that's part of the reason. You know, after we met
in our friendship blossomed more. I came to really admire
you as a speaker because it was so powerful and
so effective, to the point that I mean, you remember
anytime I had an event, because then I had gotten
really involved down in the Austin, Texas area with all
of the military and veteran events going on in the area,
and I had you come down multiple times and speak, and.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
I wouldn't charge you too, And he took full advantage
of that.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Damn right, I'd free ninety nine. Oh marketing word. There
it is.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
But you know, it was one of those things where
I knew the power of the spoken word, and I
knew that you spoke your truth. And so yeah, you
came down a couple of times. You know, you stood
me up a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
There's look, if you know what, if you're going to
talk about that in front of God and everybody, tell
the whole story, tell the whole story.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Okay, Well here's what happened.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Okay. The first time it was because I just got
completely schmamwork. There was no way I was going to
make it.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Assent, thank you for your ownership.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
For a second time. That's not what happened.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
For seven years, I ran the military appreciation night at
the Round Rock Express, which is the Triple A affiliate
to the Houston Astros at the time and now the
Texas Rangers, and I asked Jake to come and throw
out the first pitch one year, and he called and
canceled on me the day of.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
So the next year I put.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Him back, and then first year totally my fault, one
hundred percent accountabil I got completely hammered and I knew,
like I woke up and I was it was a
timing thing. I was like, there's no.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Way, thank you for owning it.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
The second year, I put him in the slot to
throw out the first pitch again, and everybody on the
planning team was like, are you sure. You know he
canceled on us last year he was a no show,
and I was like, yeah, shickle, pull through. He called
me the day of and I said, you are not
canceling on me again, and sure enough, and of course, I,
you know, just started give him all kinds of heck.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
But then I interrupted you and told me why. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Then I felt like a jerk.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
As you should. Yeah. I said, oh, by the way,
just so you know, my cousin died this morning. And
you were like, oh my god, I'm so I'm like, no, no, no,
it's fine. But I get it. You know, I'm terrible.
I'm horrible. I totally turned it back on you. But
then ultimately you got the last laugh when I actually
did show up.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
There are times the charm so to get him back,
of course, the first pitch goes out and stands on
the pitcher's mound, and I had him standing out there
and I made them read however bio.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
It was the never ending bio.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
It was amazing.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
It was like I would rather be prison shanked than
have to go through something like that again.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I think I added extra sentences just.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
To guarantee you did that. That's that's I know you did.
Like you put in You put in craft that didn't
need to be in there. And I was I remember
standing up there on the mountain thinking of myself, I
wonder if I could hit or with this baseball.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Nope, nope.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
But it was at that time that I was really
involved with a lot of different military nonprofits and veteran nonprofits,
and you were also doing the work just across the
board up here in the DFW area. And you know
that if you remember at that time, there were a
lot of nonprofits that were being exposed for misappropriated funds
(39:52):
or not not not doing what they were saying they
were doing. And so that was a time where we
were grateful because there were so many resources that were
becoming available for military and veterans, you know that were returning.
Guys that survived Iraq and Afghanistan probably would have bled
out in Vietnam. Right, So the technology has gotten better,
the response time has gotten better, and so we have
(40:14):
more wounded coming back. Well, fortunately there were nonprofits stepping
up to do that.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
I always knew that if we.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Had a veteran in need, in distress, that I could
call on you, that you would be there. That was
something that was very comforting for me to have, and that's,
you know, part of the reason our friendship continued to blossom.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeh through tragedy. You ever thought about huh, Yeah, I
knew anytime it hurts me it wouldn't and be like, hey,
just seeing how you're doing, immediately went into all right,
next step mode. Right. It was something that I poured
myself into and I did that via twenty two Kill Right,
which was started by a group of warriors and a
(40:56):
couple of business people here in Dallas years ago, and
it was started because of the study that came out
in twenty twelve that where the VA stated that on average,
twenty two veterans died by suicide every day. I've caught
so much flak over the years, Like Jake, there's not
the real number, and that's not the point. It's not
(41:16):
the point. One is too many, period of story. Suicide
is just a word, just like hero that it's been
diluted and doesn't have the original meaning that it was
intended to have. But I tell people suicide is just
a word until you get punched in the mouth by it.
Then it becomes a very real thing. And I pray
to God you never know what that feels like. Yeah,
(41:38):
Because I've buried over thirty of my friends who have
died by suicide. And this is something that affected me
years before the study came out, when I knew it
was a thing, not only struggling with mown suicide ideation,
but burying friends over and over and over and over
and over, finding myself speaking at funerals, because having the
(42:01):
widow ask me, Jake, will you be the first one
to speak is like having my grandmother say I need
you to do this thing. It's an automatic yes, regardless
of how much I don't want to do it, because
then I have to focus on not falling apart and
being stoic and pillar of strength and all the societal
things and all the labels, and when ultimately I just
(42:24):
need to get up there and tell my truth. We
put all this undue pressure on us to be something
that we don't need to be, Like we need to
wake up and just do us. Everybody else is taken
and be okay with that. And I remember it was
five and a half years ago somewhere in there. You're
the human calendar or not. It was like God poked
(42:45):
his head through a ceiling and said, if you don't
stop drinking, you were going to be the next one
they bury. And I mean I felt it to my core,
just like the day we got hit and I knew
we were going to get hit. I felt it that much.
And that was the last day I had a drink
of alcohol or the occasional line or joint or whatever,
(43:10):
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. That was the last
time that has completely changed my journey. It's completely changed
my path so much so that I was hitting the
face with reality about the name twenty two kill. You know,
twenty two vets. That's where the twenty two comes from,
(43:33):
and then the kill, because suicide's and act, regardless of how
you slice it. I got told so many times by
so many people, you're never gonna get anywhere with that name.
It's too strong of a name. Well, the more I
hear that you're just feeding my ego, the more you
tell me I can't or you won't, the more I'm like,
hold my salad and watch this, like, the more you're
just feeding the internal beast that doesn't understand. Stop all gas,
(43:58):
no break, Like that's who I am, Like I suck
at anything in moderation, it's all go or I just
don't even show up, which I mean, you've witnessed them
all different aspects, and that's ultimately it'll be a hell
of a show either way, good, better, indifferent, It'll be
a show. Let's just hope way less Jerry Springer more,
(44:19):
Tony Robbins. But I got a very tough phone call
right before the world shutdown. It was a very tough
phone call about an officer from a very large department
that we would we've done a lot of work with.
And you remember this phone call, I mean you were
(44:40):
in the living room and I was told that this
officer had started his beat, took a handle of liquor,
went out in the middle of nowhere, drink almost the
whole bottle, called his wife from a cell phone, pulled
out a service pistol, and he shot himself. And I
(45:01):
remember being dumbfounded because I was like, he knew all
about us, why wouldn't he come to us? And I
was told, Jake, because he was non veteran, think about it.
Your name is twenty two kill. That has nothing to
do with law enforcement, right, And I was like, Okay,
it's time to stop being a hostage to my pride.
(45:22):
It's not about me. And I called them mercracy board
meeting and told him it's time to change the name.
I remember one of them said right away, like, Jake,
did you start drinking again? And he was He wasn't
joking because that's how convicted I was in that name
not changing And I said, it's time for me to
(45:42):
put my ego to bed and stop being a hostage
to my pride because it's not about me, and this
will be the last time I get a phone call
like that because of me. And so that's when One
Trap foundation was birthed. And it's very simple. People are
like one tribe. What's that mean? Human trib? We all
(46:05):
bleed red, We're all connected by default. I want to
help everybody, not just certain demographics, because I feel like
ultimately we end up segregating people that have one thing
in common, pain and suffering, and I think it is
an equation that we have fallen victim to that needs
(46:26):
to change. We got to remember the one thing we
all have in common. We're humans first, everything else secondary
to that. That's the whole idea behind this foundation is
one tribe, one fight.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
We're all in this together.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
That's it. You know, when I started my journey through sobriety,
and I'm sure you remember, for the whole first year,
I wouldn't say I was sober. I would say I
wouldn't drinking, because I think those are two different things,
living a sober lifestyle and not drinking or two different things.
And that's where I really begin to fill everything that
I had gone out of my way to numb. That's
(47:05):
where I really started to grow. And it was uncomfortable
and ugly and not pretty, and I'm so grateful for
all of it because that's how I begin to truly
start tapping into my full potential without crutches. In regardless
of the fact that I'd gone through a divorce and
which majority of said divorces because of me and the
(47:26):
decisions I was making to go out of my way
to numb and not feel and then at the very
same time go out of my way to feel anything.
I was a walking, eating, breathing contradiction because I wasn't
dealing with my demons. I was avoiding. And so this
journey through being clean and sober has really opened my eyes.
(47:51):
It's really expanded my spirituality. I feel like my walk
with God is as close to being in lockstep as
it's ever been, and I'm grateful that I feel like
the rides you're just starting agreed.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
And while at the time I wasn't dealing with PTSD
or addiction, I certainly was drinking a lot. I was
trying to numb, and I was hiding, and I was
avoiding vulnerability. Right, my life on social media looked amazing.
I was traveling the world, and I was involved in
all these things, and I was still serving. I was
still doing work for others, but I wasn't working on myself.
(48:24):
I was in a toxic relationship that was truly eating
me alive, and I needed to step up, and I
needed to take that step to be vulnerable. Unfortunately, I
was able to do that across from you.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
At a cafe.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
I'm not sorry in an airport when you look at
me and you lied, just straight up, that's what you did.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
We hadn't seen each other in a little while, and
you just texted me and said, heyes.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Like I always did going through Austin.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Hey, camerath, I'm coming to Austin. And we literally found
this one that we both happened to be at the airport.
I was flying out, you were flying in, and we
sat down across from each other at the cafe for
this one hour that we had and you looked at
me and said, so, how are you doing? And I
said I'm great, everything's fine, and you looked at me
and you said, bs, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yah? Eyes are the windows of the soul.
Speaker 3 (49:21):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure mine watered up at that point.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yeah, you definitely were like right, Row, you got me.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
But you know, that was the first time that I
was able to start speaking my truth and stop hiding
behind everything that I was going through at the time,
And I'm.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
So grateful for the ability to.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Open up and be honest with you, the strength that
that conversation gave me after the fact to go and
change my life for the better, get out of the
toxic relationship, and start focusing on me so that I
could reach my full potential.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
The beautiful thing about that night in the airport and
that conversation we were able to have is that because
of the decisions that I've made to live with truth
and conviction, I was able to be ever present for you.
Our relationship was purely a platonic friendship, and I'm grateful
(50:28):
because that night, because of decisions I made and the
ways that I chose to start living my life on
a daily basis, I was able to be there for
you in a capacity that I'd never been able to
be there for you before.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
And your friendship was so important and vital to me
at that time. For months when I was dealing with
everything that I was dealing with, and I'm so grateful
for that because it was hard.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
It's hard to share it right now.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
Yeah, well, because nobody likes sharing their scars, right, especially
ones you.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Can't see, but they're there.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
But it starts with empowerment, right, That's the first step
is having the courage to take the first step in
that valley. That's scary and it's full of a bunch
of unknowns, but you know, you have to make the
journey in order to get to the peak, because if
you don't, you will never ever ever be able to
enjoy the view from the top, right, not truly, not
(51:22):
the way God intended. And that precisely is what this
podcast is all about.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
And we came up with the idea for this podcast
not too long after we got together, that the world
needs more positivity. We've both led interesting lives where we've
come in contact with so many people that have a story.
Everybody's got a story going through this trauma, going through
this tragedy, and then coming out on the other side
a victor, not a victim, coming out on the other
side with lessons that they can share with others to
(51:51):
inspire others. And we all need it on a daily basis.
We all need inspiration, we all need perspectives like bathing.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
It's good, have it daily.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Every single day, and we're so excited to bring this
to you. Not only are we inspired on the daily,
when we go back and listen to episodes and ed
of episodes, we're inspired by the words that come from
our guests. This season on The Good Stuff, we feature
some truly amazing people telling incredible stories of overcoming hardships.
And many of these guests that we have are people
(52:23):
that we're honored to call friends and family. And each
episode is a lived experience of us getting to know
fellow human beings on a deeper level.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
Not only us, but our entire team has worked incredibly hard,
yes to make this podcast straight up soul food. Yes,
it is food for the soul.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Stories of triumph.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I mean some absolutely hilarious moments, stories I promise you've
never heard.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
Before in every guest. Every guest is just the roller
coaster of human life. It's awesome and that's why we
come away from it better every single time. Like, I
can't believe we get to do this, Agreed, It's amazing
and moreover, I can't believe we get to give this
(53:08):
to other people.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
But that's the whole point. That's the good stuff. Thank
you so much for listening. If this episode touched you today,
please share it and be part of making someone else's
day better.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Put on your bad ass capes and go be great today,
and remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.
Thank you for listening to the good Stuff. The Good
Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick, Leah
Pictures and q Code Media. Hosted by Ashley Shick and
(53:43):
Jacob Shick, Produced by Nick Cassilini and Ryan Kountzhouse post
production supervisor Will Tindi. Music editing by Will Haywood Smith,
Edited by Mike Robinson,
Welcome to the Good Stuff. I'm Jacob Schick and I'm
joined by my co host and wife, Ashley shik.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a
gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,
first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental
and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy. At
One Tribe Foundation.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We believe everyone has a story to tell, not only
about the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through
to get them to where they are today.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story,
to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape
who they are and what they're doing to pay it
forward and give back.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Our mission went to show is to dig deep into
our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope
and inspiration their story has to offer.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
We're thrilled you're joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Again, Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
We want to introduce ourselves and our show to the audience,
and it's important to us that listeners know who we
are and why we're making this podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Absolutely. Our show invites guests to tell us their stories,
which is always a vulnerable undertaking, so we thought it
was only necessary and right that we do the same,
which is both scary and freeing and frightening exhilarating because
we know firsthand the therapeutic nature of telling your story
(01:27):
and more importantly, listening to other stories without further ado.
Here's us today's guests as a severely wounded marine returning
from combat with multiple wounds, amputation on my right leg,
dramatic brain injury, being a government issued drug addict, what
name boy's fault is the way it works out, and
doing eighteen months in the hospital, trying to figure out
(01:50):
my new norms, trying to learn to love myself again.
Well new to me I discovered through being voluntold by
my grandma. Telling my story was going to be my
first step in my journey of healing. That was something
that played a big role and saving my life, which
(02:10):
is empowering at the same time because it took me
walking through my fear and embracing my vulnerability to start
that journey, because we all suffer with that fear of
ridicule and judgment and all those things that they're the
constant extremely loud bullhorns and megaphones in our head telling
us you can't do this because of XYZ and being
(02:34):
able to embrace my inner warrior, not the marine one,
the one that everybody's born with. Is I think what
gave me the courage to say, you know what, I
need to do this one. I can't tell my grandmother
I'm not doing something that's not a thing. And I've
got to be able to walk through this valley regardless
(02:54):
of feeling like I was naked and people were shooting
at me. I had to walk through the.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Valley and ultimately it made you stronger.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Still does.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
We believe in this show because we know firsthand, not
only through the work that we do, but through both
of our own journeys, the healing power of accessing your
truth and telling your own story.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And we know how difficult it can be.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's the point. Anything we're doing, it is supposed to
be hard. It's by design.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You're exposing your emotions.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You feel like you're walking naked in front of the world,
But there's power in that and being able to speak
your truth freely.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
It's very empowering.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah, And that's the thing is that in everybody's story
there's still the victories, right there's still the triumph the winds,
because that's a daily basis thing, right, right, We wake
up and we decide as soon as our feet hit
the ground, our foot in my case, you're a victim
or a victor.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
You have two feet. The government just owns one, that's right.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
One of them is a loner. And that's okay. People
ask me how I feel about it. It's just a
tool for me to do the things I need to do.
That's all it is.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's just like being vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, I mean, and that's why I do what I
do still. Yeah, all over the world, I go in
front of complete strangers and I unzip my chest cavity,
and I spill my soul all over them with truth
and conviction and not really giving it damn who likes
(04:21):
me or not in the process, because it's my.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Truth and it does inspire people.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I've seen it firsthand because along with all of the
heartache and along with all of the loss comes the
triumphs and the victories and the celebrations.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
And that's what this podcast aims to do.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
All it is is just like you'll hear from so
many of our guests, and we've talked about so much.
It's mindset perspective. You know, you were your biggest advocate
or your own worst enemy. You. Every day you wake up,
you versus you, not you, versus your spouse not you,
versus your boss not you, versus your kids to you
versus you. The side victory as soon as your feet
(04:57):
hit the ground or foot and borrowed foot, whatever the
case is.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
And while I never enlisted in the military or the
Armed Forces, I grew up in a household where it
was extremely important to our family to have love of
country and respect the military and the sacrifices that they make.
We're a gold Star family, which means we lost a
family member while they were serving in our Armed forces.
My grandfather, Lieutenant Larry Dwayne Voss, was actually killed when
he was twenty four years old serving for the United
(05:23):
States Air Force. He was killed in a T thirty
three plane crash in Fairbanks, Alaska, and he left behind
his widow and his young two year old daughter at
the time, that daughter being my mother. Even through this
very tragic situation, you know, my mom still was a
forever patriot.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Still blows my mom to this day what she instilled
in you and your sister considering what happened right like,
it's just so very admirable.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
And that was the household that we grew up in.
And I found myself later in life after college working
in media in Austin and got the opportunity to do
a radio show to tell people's stories, and that was
really important to me to be able to share the
stories to the ninety nine percent of what the one
percent went through. We highlighted military members from the Austin,
(06:11):
Texas area. And while this work was rewarding, I was
always telling other people's stories. I was never vulnerable myself.
I never came out and told my truth and my story.
I found myself years later in an airport in Austin, Texas,
sitting across from a friend and being vulnerable, not by choice,
but that conversation is one that really changed my life
(06:34):
because that conversation and that friend was you.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I'm here to help, always have been, and I get that.
I understand the difficulty in being vulnerable and telling your
truth that's unadulterated, unmitigated, there's no boundaries. I know the
difficulty in doing that and asking people to do that,
(06:58):
but people will find that if they try it not
worried about who's going to show up to their funeral.
You shouldn't care. You'll be dead anyway. Like you're not
trying to get more people there, You're not trying to
be cooler. If people try to walk through that valley
of their own truth, they will see it is And
I'm speaking from life experience here. This isn't from a
(07:19):
book I read. It is the first step to you
not being a prisoner in your own mind anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And everybody's got a story, and those stories can often
provide the inspiration that we need or the perspective we
need to check ourselves to be inspired to go achieve
everything that we can achieve as human beings. Someone else's story,
someone else's trauma or tragedy can help. That's why we
want to make this show. We want to inspire people,
(07:48):
and we want people to know that they can live
their life to the fullest extent.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
All while I embracing their humanality. I have generation after
generation after generation of people that served in the military,
and I was raised in a house that didn't really
talk about it much. But luckily I spent pretty much
all my free time with my grandmother, who was if
I could idolize somebody. It was her Memi, Memi, like
(08:16):
Gunna used to always say about certain marines. She was
harder than would pick her lips. But I loved her
and she loved me, and it was boundaryless love. She
was my ultimate example of service and sacrifice on what
that looks like, and being a servant leader and giving
of yourself to help others. And I was with her
(08:39):
every step of the way, and I learned so much
from her about being kind, staying humble, and working hard.
That was me me. If she loved you, you knew it.
If she didn't, you knew it. That was as used
to always say, what I suffer from, what comes up
comes out syndrome. She had no filter, and I loved
(09:00):
that about her. I got to see at a very
early age why things got done, how things should get done.
There shouldn't be sugarcoating or fluff. There shouldn't be emotions involved.
You have an objective. To accomplish that objective, you have
to straight line it. That's what Mimi was and I
got to see that on the regular. And I remember
Mimi being so convicted and me knowing and understanding how
(09:24):
much she loved and was devoted to my grandfather, who
unfortunately died a couple of years before I was born
and was the first generation marine in our family. And
how she would talk about him and her eyes would
light up, literally, her eyes would light up, and her
chest would swell with pride, and she would always tell
me she reminded me up until the day she died.
So maybe ever since your papa died, I never so
(09:45):
much to dance with another man.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That was her soulmate.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
That was where I learned loyalty, That was where I
learned faithfulness and dedication, all those things. It almost all
of dare I say, everyone takes for granted today, and
I'm grateful. There was a guy in her neighborhood everybody
(10:10):
called Red. I'm pretty sure what was his name, but
everybody called him Red. And she said, come on, baby,
we're gonna go down to Red's house. And I just said, yes, ma'am.
We went to Red's house. I think I was five
when this happened. I'm pretty sure I was five years old.
It's one of my only memories at that age. Whether
(10:30):
that's from Trump, from childhood and trying to block things
out or what have you, but I remember going to
Red's house with me and me she sat me on
his lap and Red pulled out the scrap book. Well,
and it turns out Red was a combat photographer in
World War Two. And he started flipping through the scrap
book and I was looking at all these pictures from
(10:53):
all over the world, and then he got to this
one spot and he went to turn the page, but
he stopped and he placed his hand on the page
so I couldn't turn it. And he looked at her,
and she looked at him, dead in his eyeballs like
it was high noon, and said show him. And he
turned the page and it was pictures of a liberated
(11:14):
concentration camp and just the piles of emaciated bodies and
the destruction and showing how evil humans can be. And
I remember that like it pierced my soul. It was
something that spoke to me, almost at a spiritual level,
(11:35):
like Okay, you've got to do something. You have to
do something to be a part of something bigger than
you'll ever be, to help stop something like this happening
ever again. And then just a few years later, the
age of eight, is when I made the absolute determination,
all right, I'm going to be a marine, come hell
or high water.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Eight years old, I felt.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
It in my bones that this is what I was
supposed to do. I was put on this earth do
this thing. And I felt it and it never left me,
you know. And I played sports growing up and excelled
as a football player here in Texas, and but I
which yeah, which is here. It's a religion. But I
knew this is what I want to do, and I
was so convicted in it, but I just never talked
(12:18):
about it. Yeah, and then the beginning of my senior year,
I signed up and just didn't tell anybody. I'm so
grateful I did that. I have zero regrets about any
of my service to this day.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Can you signed up in two thousand and one?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, it was actually two thousand. It was actually beginning
of my senior year was two thousand because I graduated
no one, so clearly it was like August two thousand
and I went in took the asvab My recruiter, awesome recruiter.
I mean a lot of guys don't can't say that
(12:55):
guys and girls have been screwed by the recruiter. I'm
not one of them. I had a really locked on
recruiter who actually tried to taught me how to going
if tree. He was like, Jake me, you know you
don't have to do that. You're never really crappy living
conditions and it's going to suck. And I'm like, that's
the point. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to experience
the conditions of Eugima, which your grandfather did, right Like,
(13:16):
I'm pretty sure it's not going to be that bad.
And quite frankly, like I kind of need to have
my ass kicked because I'm just kind of spinning out
of control right now. I'm young, and I'm stupid, and
I know that I don't have enough self discipline to
go be in a college setting and be productive and
(13:36):
all those things. And besides that, I've wanted this since
I was a little kid. You're not talking me out anything.
And so I did, and then of course not loving happened,
and that was a huge, huge awakening for me. When
I watched that second plane at the South Tower, I knew,
you know. I looked at Danny and I said, we're
going to war. Yeah, and we did. I was nineteen
(13:58):
at the time, and it was like, Okay, tough guy
about to see how talk you really are.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And I remember I was in college in sam Marcus
on nine to eleven and I was in an eight
am psychology class and some kid came running into the
room and I immediately left the class and ran down
to the quad to watch this tiny little TV and
saw the second plane hit the South Tower and I
just remember, you know, the day the world stopped turning, like,
(14:25):
how helpless and how vulnerable and how scared we all
were back then. And I had two friends deploy immediately,
one Marine and one Army. And I remember I was
just this broke college kid in sam Marcus, Texas. But
I wanted to help, right, I wanted to do something.
And I knew I wasn't going to go put on
a uniform and serve because I was on a different path.
(14:48):
But I wanted to contribute, so I just I started
writing letters like for me, and it was probably you know,
more for me, but I just thought, well, this is
a way I can contribute, right, what's the cost of
a stamp?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
And that mindset that was why we won World War
One and World War Two because it was a collective effort, right,
everybody came together, raised color, creed, religion, was all irrelevant.
Everybody came together and supported the war effort, and so
you doing that it had more of an impact than
you realized. Not only was it therapeutic for you, but
it was therapeutic for the people receiving the letters.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I would probably be so embarrassed if I read any
of the letters today, because I'm sure that it was mundane.
It was just, you know, this is what happened today
back here in college.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
But speaking for someone who's been on the receiving end,
didn't matter. You didn't want to hear about I saw
on the news blah blah blah. Right, you wanted to
hear about the mundane seemingly doesn't matter to ubs that
the everyday people were doing because for a moment, it
took you out of the place you.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Were, and that was the goal.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
That's honestly where the tiny little spark that was already
inside of me to serve really grew. That was the
fanning of the flame that hey, this is something I
want to do. And I started getting more involved, and
that's really where it began for me.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You know, for me, the more time we spent in
the workup and then eventually deploying and going to Iraq,
and the more we went through, the more hardships. And
we were already a tight knit unit even when we
got to twenty nine Palms. Every day we got tighter
and tighter and tighter. I mean, we were a straight
(16:28):
up family, no doubt about it, no questions asked, none
of us shared DNA, and we had an unbreakable bond.
You know. It was something that is extremely hard to
replicate on the civilian sector. It is so very difficult,
and I think that's because essentially we flow around in
our little bubbles, that's our own reality. Comfortable, yeah, no doubt.
(16:53):
And we were able to have human to human connection
in a way that we otherwise didn't because of very
high highs and super low lows. Yeah, and we had
to find some type of commonality to get us back
to what was somewhat our middle baseline in order to
(17:16):
be effective for the next and then the next and
then the next. And it was a constant You're going, going, going, going, going, going, going,
and you don't have time really to sit back and
go hmm, oh no, what my parents have for dinner.
That type of stuff doesn't like, it didn't even cross
your mind. You're just like, Okay, what's the next thing.
(17:37):
You just keep moving, moving, moving, just a.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Huge adrenaline dump, exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
It's hard to describe. And it's one of those things
that's like unless you've been there and done it, Like
it's really hard to explain. Right, I remember the day
that I got hit, because I always say I got
blown blown thirty feet the top of the Humbee when
are our lead vehicle hit the ied. I landed on
(18:04):
my head because I'm a marine and we believe in
good form because we're the best. But I never lost
consciousness and I never wanted a shock. And it took
the black Hawk forty two minutes come and get me,
and it was a really long day at the office.
I get ruined my whole day. But I remember, to
this day, I can see it, just like when I
was on Red's lap, Like I still see it in
(18:25):
my mind's eye, like it literally happened yesterday when the
pilot took off and he dipped the bird and I
could see my guys, my family out of the corner
of my eye looking up. And that to this day
is the hardest part of all of it. By leaving
(18:46):
my fellow warriors behind, it felt like it was worse
than death. And to this day I can say that
is a fact, which I think is why I dealt
with some anger. And I was such a awesome patient.
I felt like I was robbed of the one thing
(19:07):
I wanted since I was a little boy. And I
didn't get the quote God given right unquote to die
as a gladiator on a field of battle. And even
though I told God, just don't take me in front
of my brothers, I'll ask, it's so contradictory. But there's
a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
You just had that absolutely unbreakable bond that so you're right,
so many people don't experience that.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, And it's sad to me because the global pandemic
has proven we're herd animals. We need interaction with each other, right,
and when you do it at an extreme level, you
get a taste of that, and then that becomes the
definition of what you need and who you are and
all those things and your why.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
And I started to experience that.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
At the time, I had just gotten out of college
and I was working a media in Austin, and that
led to me working for one of my clients who
was a national homebuilder, which led to me going to
Fort Hood, Texas and working with a Congressional Medal of
Honor recipient at Fort Hood, Texas helping military families. And
that's when my eyes were really opened to what military spouses,
(20:19):
military families, military individuals themselves, and veterans, wounded veterans were
coming back and really what they were dealing with and
what they were lacking.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, you got a front row seat to the other
side of the ball that most people don't think.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
About, absolutely being there at Fort Hood and working firsthand,
not only employing military spouses with the organization that I
was running, but just all of the ones that would
come into the office and sharing with us.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Some of these kids.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Were fresh out of their hometown. They'd never left their hometown.
Then they got married to their high school sweetheart. Now
the high school sweetheart's deployed and they don't know basic
stuff like banking or how to find housing.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Then there were the extremes.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Stories where the guy was over in Afghanistan with two
young children back home and the wife took off and
took everything and left the kids at home, and he
had to come home from Afghanistan because his kids were
at home unattended you know, it's it's again, it's what
do we do well? We can adopt them for Christmas?
And having the little girl go to church and say,
(21:21):
you know, I heard Santa's not coming to our house
this year. Stuff like that that it was like, okay,
if not me, who if not? Now went That's when
the heart for service grew because there was the need
and it wasn't just the basic stuff at forehood. It
wasn't just the extreme circumstances. It was even our veterans
coming home and finding out that some of them weren't
(21:42):
getting paid what they were doing, so they were struggling
to make ends meet while they were in the hospital
recovering from a double imputation. It was all kinds of stories,
and we've got to do better as a country to
this day. Even though we've been at this for years
and we've already done the draw down overseas in both
of the major locations we were in, we still have
(22:03):
to do better. I knew from my own personal experience.
Gold Star families don't get treated as well as they should.
Their loved one gave their ultimate, gave it all in
service to this country. We've got to step up and
do better.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, well, I'm not going to disagree.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
You better not.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
And it's important for me to state though that I
come from a place that is obviously a much different
perspective than yours for obvious reasons. But I don't I
didn't do anything I did for somebody to owe me anything, right,
And I think that's important too, is that we have
to have ownership and accountability of the fact that nobody
made us do anything. You know, that's important that people
(22:45):
remember everything has a price. Yeah, nothing's free. Free is
a made up marketing word. Period. Someone somewhere, somehow paid
for it some way. Nothing's free to include our freedom.
And regardless of how you feel about this nation, regardless
of the faults, the division, the politics, it is the
(23:08):
freest country in the world.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yes, guaranteed you know the struggles because you first hand
dealt with them. Eighteen months you spent in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I found myself in the hospital, and I found myself angry,
reverting back to all I knew fighting just everything was
a fight, and I feel like that's where, for whatever reason,
growing up, like that's what I did. When I'm backed
into a corner, I'm going to fight my way out
and I went from fighting in a combat zone to
fighting from a hospital bed, and a lot of relying
(23:43):
on my grit to get me to the next minute,
and then the next minute, then the next minute, because
it was not a day by day thing. Yeah, especially
the first several months I was home. It was a
minute by minute thing where even when I blinked hard,
it felt like getting blown up all over again. And
dealing with the people I dealt with. The loss and
the trauma and the tragedy didn't stop when I got
(24:06):
back home, meaning to America, because it seemed like once
a week, every week I was in the hospital, I
was paying my respects to a flag great body in
a hospital room, and then talking to the families and
telling them I'm sorry, knowing that a lot of them
(24:27):
were looking at me and thinking how come you lived,
not having an answer for that. That's an interesting position
to be in, because then you feel guilty, and then
you feel shame, and then you feel all these things
of Okay, well, why did I live? Why was I spared?
Why did I get to keep carrying on regardless of
(24:49):
the fact that I'm a now drug addict soon to
be alcoholics, Like why now I'm able to answer that.
I think it was a lot more conviction through truth
and with the pure heart where was before? You know,
I couldn't because I was lost for a long time.
And I remember the first time I was asked to
go speak, and it was by my grandmother. You know
(25:10):
that you can't say no to even if she said
something crazy, which to me, I need you to come
speak to my rotary club, Like that was crazy. It's like,
are you crazy? And of course I didn't say that,
but I'm thinking it.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Yes, ma'am, What the hell are you?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Why are you asking me to do this? Completely forgetting
the fact that she has been on this earth way
longer than me and has a ton more wisdom. And
so of course I went and did it, and it
was horrible and I was high and all I thought
about was getting more high. I'm pretty sure eighty percent
(25:49):
of the room fell asleep because I was probably about
fifty years the junior in the room, and it was
just a horrible, horrible deal. Like I was sitting there,
I was sweating grind aids, and I was just like
I just ready for this to be over. With the
fact that I even do question and answer now when
I do public engagements is crazy to me because when
I was done, I remember, like, I walked off the
(26:13):
back part of this podium inside a white room with
a lot of white hairs, and I walked out the
back doors and when I finished, I don't even remember
how I finished, but I'm pretty sure. I'm like, that's it.
And I was already walking out, you know, not well
because I was still healing, but I couldn't get a
(26:36):
cigarette fast enough, right, And I walked outside and I
burned one, and my grandmother walked out there and she said, so,
how do you feel. I looked at her and I said,
you know what, actually knowing that it was it was crap,
and that it was just me tripping over myself. But
it was the first time I told my story, and
it was the first time I told my truth and
(26:58):
how it had happened. And I left a lot of
stuff out because I wasn't fully embracing my vulnerability yet.
And I just said, you know, I feel lighter, I
feel a little bit better. And she just looked right
at me and said, good, that was a point and
walked away. And I was like, damn it, freaking brain ninja.
But now I totally get it well for sure. It
(27:18):
was just like when people ask you, how long are
you going to do this speaking stuff? Because inevitably I
bitch about having to do it because we're so spoiled,
and I'm like, you know, you hear me do it
weekly when I'm like, oh, I don't want to go
do this thing or whatever because there's so much going on.
And then I get done and I look at you
and I'm like, hey, I'm so glad I did this thing.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, because you feel lighter because every time it's.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Therapy, it's therapeutic, it's cathartic. And when people ask me,
and you've heard me say it to him, how long
are you going to do this? When are you going
to stop doing this? And I always say, when I
walk off of a stage or I leave a place
and I don't feel lighter, is the day all stop?
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
But now I'm just very honest with the audience. Isn't
like tell him like, hey, I'm here for me just
as much as you're here for me, exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
And by the time we had met in twenty fourteen,
you had been public speaking for years and had really
honed your craft. I'd been doing my real hero show
for a couple of years at that point, and we
actually met at a veterans event in Fort Worth. It
was just such a great thing to meet you. And
I remember, and I remember Jackson, your oldest was three
(28:25):
at the time, and he looked so cute in his
little cowboy outfit, and we were at the stockyards and
I just remember walking up to him and saying, you're
gonna push me around the dance floor later, and he did,
and that was the well I carried him. But I
was the first person he ever danced with. That's super
special to me.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I remember that as hammered as I was, I remember
that it was a beautiful moment. That is something that
it's almost like God knows what he's doing. Yes, I'd
been speaking for a while, and I'd been doing a
lot of work and trying to discover things about me
(29:03):
that made me do things that I did, or decisions
I made or whatever. And I was very much in
my journey to healing. And it was not pretty because
I was definitely abusing alcohol, doing the occasional drug, not
yet living the way I needed to live. Yeah, I was,
by no means being an effective example to my son.
(29:25):
I was by no means being an example to my family,
my community, And it was something that I really struggled
with because we all deal with this form of hypocrisy
when we say one thing and we know that we're
not doing the thing, you know, which makes it harder
for us to ultimate goal love the person staring back
(29:45):
at him in the mirror. Only then can you truly
be effective in your fight for the greater good. Doesn't
mean you can't have grit, doesn't mean you can't get
things done. It doesn't mean you can't be effective for
other human souls, because I did all that for years.
But how much was I truly fighting for the greater
(30:06):
good while I was fighting myself every step of the way.
Now that I'm able to most times be in a
peaceful place and be convicted who I am and love
the person inside this skin or what's left of this skin,
like I feel it now more than I ever have.
(30:29):
And now that I'm clean and sober and understand human
psychology and the human element the way that I do
because of my own demons, I'm taking the bull by
the horns, if you will, and understanding why my mind
works the way it works, and what post traumatic stress
really means and what that is, which ultimately for everybody listening,
(30:50):
is nothing more than a normal reaction to an otherwise
abnormal situation. Does it mean like you're completely messed up
and there's no turning back. It's not what that means.
It means that was completely normal.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
And I know veterans are the ones that were that term,
and that kind of got coined initially. We don't own it,
but veterans don't own PTS to.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
You've been around a long time.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
It doesn't matter what you've been through diabetes, or if
you've been raped, or you've gone through family abuse or what.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Anything, anything, It makes you normal. Our bodies have things
that are built in to help us survive these situations
in order to thrive. That's all that means. And that's
why you hear me say all the time to people
all over it's okay to not be okay. That makes
you normal.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
You're not going to ever wake up every day the
rest of your life and ride on your unicorn on
the rainbow to and back from the office. That's not
real life. That's not reality. But the more that you
can embrace it and fill it, which through my journey
through sobriety. It was very free and I learned a
(32:01):
lot of these things at the Center for Brain Health
and Brain Performance Institute well before I actually got into
the nonprofit realm. It was a constant discovery of my
own soul. It was like an onion pill in the
layer's back and then having all of these epiphanies like, oh,
that's why I did that thing, was to counteract that thing, right,
(32:22):
probably happened when I was a little kid.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Childhood trauma.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
But you also had veterans they're working with you that
you were able to kind of start some of that
peer to peer support.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Absolutely, that's something that I think doesn't get enough praise,
and it doesn't have to be just through veterans. And
that's what I think is really important for our listeners
to understand is this is not a show about veterans.
This is not what that has to do with. This
is a show about human beings dealing with human issues
(32:54):
in order to thrive and what tools they utilize to
get them through the valley. It's not just about veterans.
And I was very adamant from the very beginning, like
it doesn't need to be veteran heavy. I don't want
this to be veteran heavy because I need people to
understand we're all relatable through pain and suffering. That's the
(33:16):
thing that we all are on the same playing field.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I'm uncomfortable right now. I am so used to telling
other people's stories. I've been doing for decades.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
But I really appreciate you right now, and I've got
to just I've got to say my gratitude. I'm really
grateful to you for owning that shit right now because
I know how much you've been stressing about this, and
it's so huge to me. I want people to feel
what I feel when I walk off the stage. I
want people to feel the freedom of embracing their humanality
(33:50):
in the truest way that you possibly can, because that
is the first step to reaching your full potential. Right, So,
gratitude moment, and I just want to give that to
you realquick. Yeah, you're exactly right about that peer to
peer thing, and I think that that's something that is
really really vital to people's growth forward. I've been in
(34:12):
so many different situations, in so many different rooms with
my fellow brothers and scissors in arms, having these conversations
and being able to watch their soul actually get lighter
through this period of peer talking about and sometimes and
oftentimes actually it doesn't have anything to do with combat,
doesn't have anything to do with a wartime experience, doesn't
(34:35):
have anything to do with what the media is obsessed
with showing over and over and over and over, because
for a lot of us, we were really prepared to
know because of what we volunteered to do, it's highly
likely we're going to be in a very volatile situation
that's going to be memorable. There's a lot of us
(34:55):
that were a lot more prepared that the media gives
us credit for. But what we don't talk about is
the demons we had before we put on the uniform.
That's not talked about, like what was there before, the
gnarliness from the military, the.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Childhood trauma, and then you just exacerbate it. But that's
putting on that uniform.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And you're right because there are so many resources out there.
One of our best friends, Renee McQuillan, she lost her
husband two years ago who was a very very dear
friend of mine for twenty years and it was extremely
traumatic and she got up and forced herself to go
to one of the grieving widow's support groups, and I
know her soul felt lighter after that. Whatever you're facing,
(35:36):
there are resources out there. That is one of the
beautiful things about the peer to peer and reaching out
and sitting in a room with like minded people that
just have the opportunity to talk it out.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah, And I mean I remember the column though I
had with Renee, pacing in my office back and forth,
back and forth because I was like, I have no
idea how this is going to end. But I remember
her telling me after the fact that was the springboard
I needed to take that deep dive into the journey
of healing. And that was a prime example of peer
(36:08):
to peer. That was somebody who's experienced significant trauma giving
someone else, empowering someone else to take that first step.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And it's one of the things that I think about
and I try to think about often. You have to
be so careful, just like people with diets and who
want to be fit and be healthy. You watch what
you put in your body. That goes the same with words,
that goes the same with music that you listen to.
You have to be so protective over your environment and
over what you're putting into your body. And I think
(36:38):
that's part of the reason. You know, after we met
in our friendship blossomed more. I came to really admire
you as a speaker because it was so powerful and
so effective, to the point that I mean, you remember
anytime I had an event, because then I had gotten
really involved down in the Austin, Texas area with all
of the military and veteran events going on in the area,
and I had you come down multiple times and speak, and.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
I wouldn't charge you too, And he took full advantage
of that.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Damn right, I'd free ninety nine. Oh marketing word. There
it is.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
But you know, it was one of those things where
I knew the power of the spoken word, and I
knew that you spoke your truth. And so yeah, you
came down a couple of times. You know, you stood
me up a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
There's look, if you know what, if you're going to
talk about that in front of God and everybody, tell
the whole story, tell the whole story.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Okay, Well here's what happened.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Okay. The first time it was because I just got
completely schmamwork. There was no way I was going to
make it.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Assent, thank you for your ownership.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
For a second time. That's not what happened.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
For seven years, I ran the military appreciation night at
the Round Rock Express, which is the Triple A affiliate
to the Houston Astros at the time and now the
Texas Rangers, and I asked Jake to come and throw
out the first pitch one year, and he called and
canceled on me the day of.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
So the next year I put.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Him back, and then first year totally my fault, one
hundred percent accountabil I got completely hammered and I knew,
like I woke up and I was it was a
timing thing. I was like, there's no.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Way, thank you for owning it.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
The second year, I put him in the slot to
throw out the first pitch again, and everybody on the
planning team was like, are you sure. You know he
canceled on us last year he was a no show,
and I was like, yeah, shickle, pull through. He called
me the day of and I said, you are not
canceling on me again, and sure enough, and of course, I,
you know, just started give him all kinds of heck.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
But then I interrupted you and told me why. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Then I felt like a jerk.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
As you should. Yeah. I said, oh, by the way,
just so you know, my cousin died this morning. And
you were like, oh my god, I'm so I'm like, no, no, no,
it's fine. But I get it. You know, I'm terrible.
I'm horrible. I totally turned it back on you. But
then ultimately you got the last laugh when I actually
did show up.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
There are times the charm so to get him back,
of course, the first pitch goes out and stands on
the pitcher's mound, and I had him standing out there
and I made them read however bio.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
It was the never ending bio.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
It was amazing.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
It was like I would rather be prison shanked than
have to go through something like that again.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I think I added extra sentences just.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
To guarantee you did that. That's that's I know you did.
Like you put in You put in craft that didn't
need to be in there. And I was I remember
standing up there on the mountain thinking of myself, I
wonder if I could hit or with this baseball.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Nope, nope.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
But it was at that time that I was really
involved with a lot of different military nonprofits and veteran nonprofits,
and you were also doing the work just across the
board up here in the DFW area. And you know
that if you remember at that time, there were a
lot of nonprofits that were being exposed for misappropriated funds
(39:52):
or not not not doing what they were saying they
were doing. And so that was a time where we
were grateful because there were so many resources that were
becoming available for military and veterans, you know that were returning.
Guys that survived Iraq and Afghanistan probably would have bled
out in Vietnam. Right, So the technology has gotten better,
the response time has gotten better, and so we have
(40:14):
more wounded coming back. Well, fortunately there were nonprofits stepping
up to do that.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
I always knew that if we.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Had a veteran in need, in distress, that I could
call on you, that you would be there. That was
something that was very comforting for me to have, and that's,
you know, part of the reason our friendship continued to blossom.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeh through tragedy. You ever thought about huh, Yeah, I
knew anytime it hurts me it wouldn't and be like, hey,
just seeing how you're doing, immediately went into all right,
next step mode. Right. It was something that I poured
myself into and I did that via twenty two Kill Right,
which was started by a group of warriors and a
(40:56):
couple of business people here in Dallas years ago, and
it was started because of the study that came out
in twenty twelve that where the VA stated that on average,
twenty two veterans died by suicide every day. I've caught
so much flak over the years, Like Jake, there's not
the real number, and that's not the point. It's not
(41:16):
the point. One is too many, period of story. Suicide
is just a word, just like hero that it's been
diluted and doesn't have the original meaning that it was
intended to have. But I tell people suicide is just
a word until you get punched in the mouth by it.
Then it becomes a very real thing. And I pray
to God you never know what that feels like. Yeah,
(41:38):
Because I've buried over thirty of my friends who have
died by suicide. And this is something that affected me
years before the study came out, when I knew it
was a thing, not only struggling with mown suicide ideation,
but burying friends over and over and over and over
and over, finding myself speaking at funerals, because having the
(42:01):
widow ask me, Jake, will you be the first one
to speak is like having my grandmother say I need
you to do this thing. It's an automatic yes, regardless
of how much I don't want to do it, because
then I have to focus on not falling apart and
being stoic and pillar of strength and all the societal
things and all the labels, and when ultimately I just
(42:24):
need to get up there and tell my truth. We
put all this undue pressure on us to be something
that we don't need to be, Like we need to
wake up and just do us. Everybody else is taken
and be okay with that. And I remember it was
five and a half years ago somewhere in there. You're
the human calendar or not. It was like God poked
(42:45):
his head through a ceiling and said, if you don't
stop drinking, you were going to be the next one
they bury. And I mean I felt it to my core,
just like the day we got hit and I knew
we were going to get hit. I felt it that much.
And that was the last day I had a drink
of alcohol or the occasional line or joint or whatever,
(43:10):
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. That was the last
time that has completely changed my journey. It's completely changed
my path so much so that I was hitting the
face with reality about the name twenty two kill. You know,
twenty two vets. That's where the twenty two comes from,
(43:33):
and then the kill, because suicide's and act, regardless of how
you slice it. I got told so many times by
so many people, you're never gonna get anywhere with that name.
It's too strong of a name. Well, the more I
hear that you're just feeding my ego, the more you
tell me I can't or you won't, the more I'm like,
hold my salad and watch this, like, the more you're
just feeding the internal beast that doesn't understand. Stop all gas,
(43:58):
no break, Like that's who I am, Like I suck
at anything in moderation, it's all go or I just
don't even show up, which I mean, you've witnessed them
all different aspects, and that's ultimately it'll be a hell
of a show either way, good, better, indifferent, It'll be
a show. Let's just hope way less Jerry Springer more,
(44:19):
Tony Robbins. But I got a very tough phone call
right before the world shutdown. It was a very tough
phone call about an officer from a very large department
that we would we've done a lot of work with.
And you remember this phone call, I mean you were
(44:40):
in the living room and I was told that this
officer had started his beat, took a handle of liquor,
went out in the middle of nowhere, drink almost the
whole bottle, called his wife from a cell phone, pulled
out a service pistol, and he shot himself. And I
(45:01):
remember being dumbfounded because I was like, he knew all
about us, why wouldn't he come to us? And I
was told, Jake, because he was non veteran, think about it.
Your name is twenty two kill. That has nothing to
do with law enforcement, right, And I was like, Okay,
it's time to stop being a hostage to my pride.
(45:22):
It's not about me. And I called them mercracy board
meeting and told him it's time to change the name.
I remember one of them said right away, like, Jake,
did you start drinking again? And he was He wasn't
joking because that's how convicted I was in that name
not changing And I said, it's time for me to
(45:42):
put my ego to bed and stop being a hostage
to my pride because it's not about me, and this
will be the last time I get a phone call
like that because of me. And so that's when One
Trap foundation was birthed. And it's very simple. People are
like one tribe. What's that mean? Human trib? We all
(46:05):
bleed red, We're all connected by default. I want to
help everybody, not just certain demographics, because I feel like
ultimately we end up segregating people that have one thing
in common, pain and suffering, and I think it is
an equation that we have fallen victim to that needs
(46:26):
to change. We got to remember the one thing we
all have in common. We're humans first, everything else secondary
to that. That's the whole idea behind this foundation is
one tribe, one fight.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
We're all in this together.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
That's it. You know, when I started my journey through sobriety,
and I'm sure you remember, for the whole first year,
I wouldn't say I was sober. I would say I
wouldn't drinking, because I think those are two different things,
living a sober lifestyle and not drinking or two different things.
And that's where I really begin to fill everything that
I had gone out of my way to numb. That's
(47:05):
where I really started to grow. And it was uncomfortable
and ugly and not pretty, and I'm so grateful for
all of it because that's how I begin to truly
start tapping into my full potential without crutches. In regardless
of the fact that I'd gone through a divorce and
which majority of said divorces because of me and the
(47:26):
decisions I was making to go out of my way
to numb and not feel and then at the very
same time go out of my way to feel anything.
I was a walking, eating, breathing contradiction because I wasn't
dealing with my demons. I was avoiding. And so this
journey through being clean and sober has really opened my eyes.
(47:51):
It's really expanded my spirituality. I feel like my walk
with God is as close to being in lockstep as
it's ever been, and I'm grateful that I feel like
the rides you're just starting agreed.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
And while at the time I wasn't dealing with PTSD
or addiction, I certainly was drinking a lot. I was
trying to numb, and I was hiding, and I was
avoiding vulnerability. Right, my life on social media looked amazing.
I was traveling the world, and I was involved in
all these things, and I was still serving. I was
still doing work for others, but I wasn't working on myself.
(48:24):
I was in a toxic relationship that was truly eating
me alive, and I needed to step up, and I
needed to take that step to be vulnerable. Unfortunately, I
was able to do that across from you.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
At a cafe.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
I'm not sorry in an airport when you look at
me and you lied, just straight up, that's what you did.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
We hadn't seen each other in a little while, and
you just texted me and said, heyes.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Like I always did going through Austin.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Hey, camerath, I'm coming to Austin. And we literally found
this one that we both happened to be at the airport.
I was flying out, you were flying in, and we
sat down across from each other at the cafe for
this one hour that we had and you looked at
me and said, so, how are you doing? And I
said I'm great, everything's fine, and you looked at me
and you said, bs, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yah? Eyes are the windows of the soul.
Speaker 3 (49:21):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure mine watered up at that point.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yeah, you definitely were like right, Row, you got me.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
But you know, that was the first time that I
was able to start speaking my truth and stop hiding
behind everything that I was going through at the time,
And I'm.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
So grateful for the ability to.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Open up and be honest with you, the strength that
that conversation gave me after the fact to go and
change my life for the better, get out of the
toxic relationship, and start focusing on me so that I
could reach my full potential.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
The beautiful thing about that night in the airport and
that conversation we were able to have is that because
of the decisions that I've made to live with truth
and conviction, I was able to be ever present for you.
Our relationship was purely a platonic friendship, and I'm grateful
(50:28):
because that night, because of decisions I made and the
ways that I chose to start living my life on
a daily basis, I was able to be there for
you in a capacity that I'd never been able to
be there for you before.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
And your friendship was so important and vital to me
at that time. For months when I was dealing with
everything that I was dealing with, and I'm so grateful
for that because it was hard.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
It's hard to share it right now.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
Yeah, well, because nobody likes sharing their scars, right, especially
ones you.
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Can't see, but they're there.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
But it starts with empowerment, right, That's the first step
is having the courage to take the first step in
that valley. That's scary and it's full of a bunch
of unknowns, but you know, you have to make the
journey in order to get to the peak, because if
you don't, you will never ever ever be able to
enjoy the view from the top, right, not truly, not
(51:22):
the way God intended. And that precisely is what this
podcast is all about.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
And we came up with the idea for this podcast
not too long after we got together, that the world
needs more positivity. We've both led interesting lives where we've
come in contact with so many people that have a story.
Everybody's got a story going through this trauma, going through
this tragedy, and then coming out on the other side
a victor, not a victim, coming out on the other
side with lessons that they can share with others to
(51:51):
inspire others. And we all need it on a daily basis.
We all need inspiration, we all need perspectives like bathing.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
It's good, have it daily.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Every single day, and we're so excited to bring this
to you. Not only are we inspired on the daily,
when we go back and listen to episodes and ed
of episodes, we're inspired by the words that come from
our guests. This season on The Good Stuff, we feature
some truly amazing people telling incredible stories of overcoming hardships.
And many of these guests that we have are people
(52:23):
that we're honored to call friends and family. And each
episode is a lived experience of us getting to know
fellow human beings on a deeper level.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
Not only us, but our entire team has worked incredibly hard,
yes to make this podcast straight up soul food. Yes,
it is food for the soul.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Stories of triumph.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I mean some absolutely hilarious moments, stories I promise you've
never heard.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
Before in every guest. Every guest is just the roller
coaster of human life. It's awesome and that's why we
come away from it better every single time. Like, I
can't believe we get to do this, Agreed, It's amazing
and moreover, I can't believe we get to give this
(53:08):
to other people.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
But that's the whole point. That's the good stuff. Thank
you so much for listening. If this episode touched you today,
please share it and be part of making someone else's
day better.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Put on your bad ass capes and go be great today,
and remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.
Thank you for listening to the good Stuff. The Good
Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick, Leah
Pictures and q Code Media. Hosted by Ashley Shick and
(53:43):
Jacob Shick, Produced by Nick Cassilini and Ryan Kountzhouse post
production supervisor Will Tindi. Music editing by Will Haywood Smith,
Edited by Mike Robinson,
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