November 24, 2023 • 40 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’re pulling out all of the stops! - This whole show is a doorbuster blowout!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, God, good duddle.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Shut up.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
We've been on our little beach outy.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
I called him, called his house, and.
Speaker 5 (00:15):
I just I've been in the room with him when
he has that voice on. You don't want to know
where his hand been.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I thought it was between two.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
No, No, you know I'm right. You know I'm right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
You lay in bed.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Holding on to those things down there around the doodle, dude.
Speaker 6 (00:38):
That's why the next thing you usually hear is tell
me a story.
Speaker 5 (00:42):
Or I've heard him actually turning with that pose and
what are you gonna do today?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
That before or after we spoon the question. I didn't
butt you over, but I see you kind of got
your hands full.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And you know all these times have been traveling, Randy,
and I've never seen you naked.
Speaker 6 (01:05):
Yeah, to keep it that well, Oh my gosh, it's
a vote from Sandy Pinkard a finger.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I remember remember that belly. It was years ago. But
he said they fired another drummer and they went there
more than spinal thing.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I never trust him anyway, all them days on the
road and I never saw him naked.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
They fired him.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
He druss him on the road.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Maybe he don't like people comporting and his new toy,
and Mad said, do you want me to change the
wording on the ad and the trade papers? Yeah, no, kidding.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Listen, I don't even like to see me naked.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Well, there's nothing about like because they read the whole
thing wrong. You need to spend some time on the road.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'll rephrase it. I don't even want to see me.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Randy, peel him off. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And I said, the pills, why don't you die? He said,
what color is it now? Number nineteen, number nineteen. So
cocka dottle doo in. Yeah, yeah, I hear.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It was going to be sweet in the morning. You
got the dude dang gummy.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Good morning to.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Make show us on the radio heavy Thanksgiving weekend.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Let's go back.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
We live Thanksgiving moment.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
We all know history, but there's so much more we
don't know. I'm Sir David Edinburgh and this is unknown history.
The year is sixteen twenty. A group of one hundred
(03:14):
weary passengers sailed from England to the New World aboard
the good ship Mayflower. They desperately wait for the news
that land is in sight. That's the sign you in
the christ nest. Do you see land? Latinold his name
(03:41):
was Kleine, a rather unusual stowaway, and that he was
a dromedary camel. He was hailed as a hero and
quickly took his place among his fellow pilgrims. But the
early days were not easy. Half the settlement was lost
that first year, and food was scarce. If we do
(04:04):
not get our crops to flourish, the entire colony will perish. Clyde,
I fear the future appears bleak. No, what's that rare?
Ask for the natives. That's madness, that's savages. Yeah, Tonto,
you say, yeah, Squanto, I'm sorry, could you do the introductions? Yeah?
(04:29):
Clyde brought Squanto before William Bradford. An agreement is profit,
and soon there was food a plenty and the colony
slowly struggled back. In a profound gesture of gratitude, the
Pilgrims invited the Native Americans to a feast of thanks
and the tradition of thanksgiving was born. We would not
(04:57):
be here today if not for the one known as Clyde. Yeah,
that is the truth, is it not, William Bradford. Squatto
speaks the truth, and it's only fitting that Clyde give
the prayer.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, but things would take a dark turn. Clyde became
romantically entangled with Bradford's second wife, Dorothy.
Speaker 7 (05:38):
Oh, Clyde, we cannot continue our illiscitrists. I fear my
husband is suspicious. Those hoof shaped bruises on my back
were hard to explain. Yeah, I told him I was
trampled by dear but alas he was unconvinced.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah yeah, all right, one last time.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
And it would be the last time Clyde, Dorothy, my
wife and my best friend be gone and never return
him or me.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Him.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Clyde left in shame and never returned. No one knew
whatever became of him, but he did resurface years later.
Speaker 8 (06:27):
So I just tie this key to this kite. Eh,
but what about this storm until next time? This is
Sir David Edinburgh reminding you that.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
It's not the history. That's no, it's the history.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I know.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Coome wanting to make shows on your radio.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
All ride, I.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Turner, Let me see this is number eight and forty seven.
Yea our series.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
All right, we're good. Well we'll ask him about it
next Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
(07:27):
It's time to Axite.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Yo, what's up? Welcome to a hold on Patrick, Leave
astront alone. He is not gonna autograph your copy of
zombie Land. I know that's how he looks, but it
ain't him. Go out and get out of here. I
spelled meet. Look, if you can find me some Welcome
(07:51):
to Axe, the place to go for all of for
one one you need for all?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yo?
Speaker 4 (07:57):
What you call holy rulation over nation? Trimps dig this,
dear ike. My wife and I just retired and moved
from Maine to a small town in Georgia. I don't
want to say the name because they listened to the
show here. I really enjoy the laid back lifestyle and
the people are wonderful. As part of our New Year's resolution,
(08:21):
we decided to go back to church. We're just not
sure where to go. I know this is outside your
area of expertise, but what should I expect from a
small country church? If you don't know, could you pass
this on to someone who might like Bidley? Thanks an
awful lot Mark and Gisell. Gizell, I'd be married to
(08:41):
an antelope. Small town Georgia, dead geesus hell, The ain't nothing.
I don't know something about I've been to a little
bitter at Southern church, and despite what you might have
heard from some wanna be half calf Latte brothers, it's
not a bunch of white people clinging the gun in religion.
(09:01):
They was clinging to they cousins. Though you know it's
a scientific fact that cousins are good for practice. Word
to John Boy. Now, these were pretty good folks. It's
not a bunch of goober's snotting at the nose and
swinging rattlesnakes through the air and speaking in tongues.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
They do that on Monday nights.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
But it was different. I was dating this fine, thick,
pale faced princess and she insisted I go to church
with her and her family. Well, since she was throwing
down in the booudoir, I figured what I try to
make her happy with my clothes on for a change.
Here was an eye opener to say the least, let
me preach on it. Now, instead of a bell, the
(09:44):
call to worship is recording to jerk Cloud going, oh,
I can't do the boy. At least twice a week
someone in the congregation complains about Noah putting coyotes on
the ark. It ain't perfect world. Super Bowl Sunday is
the first official church holiday of the year, followed by
(10:06):
the first day a da season. One of the church
members requested to be buried in his four wheel drive
pickup because it ain't never been in a hole it
couldn't get out of. It's real good folks too. Now
the only time anyone locks their car doors is the summertime,
so no one can leave a back of squash on
the front seat. People are grossome, damn squashed down here.
(10:30):
The choir they was just average. They called him the
Okay Corral. I like that one. They all thought rapture
was what you got from helping your fat cousin in
the truck man. During parables, the preacher used bad Guy
(10:52):
Restless to illustrate the seven deadly seas, and down here
flipp probably covered five to six. Somebody his own cells.
The preacher offers BC powders instead of the host way
for if you come in hungover on Sunday. The baptismal
tubble doubles is a live baitwhell. The coat room also
(11:16):
had a gun rack. They might steal your gun with
they leaving the squash in the front seat of your car,
the choir rooms covered with church sponsored logos like a nashcar,
and of course the preacher works you'd a done in
every service you people in your damn kits. Preach got
to be fair. This is just what went down with me.
These results are not typical and may vary from your
(11:39):
individual experience. And no butt cracks were harmed with a
tor of a boot during these services. He sees height
peace out.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
If you feel the need to acche. Mail to ixyche.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
John Moore, Billay and Pilbox seventy six sixty three Charlotte
didn't see two eighty two four one a live Baitwell,
good morning, the Big Show is on the radio, I
think for today. By the way, last week we looked
at us here at a big show. Today we turned
the camera, well we would if we had one, I
guess microphones in this case.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
To you, the Big Show listener, So get your clothes off.
If we don't see your naked, we don't trust you.
We learned that earlier the show.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
All right, So yeah, let's turn it around, honor you,
the Big Show listener. We'll start off with another letter
coming up next.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Good morning, the Big Show is on the radio.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Come in, let us look at you. Oh we get letters.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh boy, alrighty a flurry of activity out of all
these cities. The John boyd Billy Big Show broadcast Annway.
Heir a lot from Dallas, from Austin, and it seemed
from Macon, Georgia.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
For some reason.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Remember we had the uh letter from forty five people
at a party and Making Georgia listing things they hated
about the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
We had to bring mister Taylor in. He recommended that
maybe their future parties.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
A little drinking, little drinking, maybe some Chester. Well there's
another one from Macon, Georgia. BAM, addressed to John boy
Dear John Boy. The Big Show was recently picked up
here in Making Georgia on Q one oh six. Billboards
off You and Billy are plastered all over town. See
your face six or more times each day. I wake
(14:07):
up to your voice each day, and you shower with
me and then get me off.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
To work. I have developed quite a crush on you
and have even began to dream of you.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
And I.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Please don't think this is a joke. I mean closing
my business card in a recent photo, hoping that you'll
take this seriously. If you would consider meeting me, I'll
be happy to come where you are. Please respond sincerely, Tracy.
I'll just give your first name, Tracy, And here is
the picture of Tracy.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
All right.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I think I had listen. Uh well, Tracy, that.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Mister two minutes.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I think I can handle this.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Come on in, come on in.
Speaker 6 (15:08):
Oh my good morning, John Boy, morning there being good
morning to you, Tracy.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I feel like I need y'all need me on this one.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Now, Tracy, we appreciate your interest in the show, honey,
although it is possible to take a little bit too
fart and may I say you're a creeping up on
that line you say, Now, believe me, I've seen John
Boy and Billy on a billboard before running into them
(15:42):
five six times a day. Well, I can see how
that prey on a person's mind, especially a kindly high
strung woman like you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Say.
Speaker 6 (15:52):
It was mighty nice of you run down to the
mall to glamour shots and take your real pretty picture there, Yes, ma'am,
are real picture. But I got to say, now, this
thing about being in the Shire is johenre Well, you're
starting to scare me just the tensiest little beef now,
(16:12):
you say, Please, don't think this is a joke.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Man.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Believe me, if you're wanting to climb in the shire
with John Boy, I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
You're just real serious about it. You'd have to.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
But let me just say, like Jackie over there always
says you don't want to go there, No, ma'am, you
don't want that at all. You see now, John Boy,
he's already got a girl and a fine looking zest
for a living woman like yourself. Maybe you ought to
(16:46):
find you a good local man to cosey too. In fact,
I hear tell there's a group of about forty five
of them right.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
There in town.
Speaker 6 (16:53):
That's just real right for some female companionship. Y'all got
the return of from that one of that party last week.
Maybe we could pass out a lot of the trace
now if I can just say a word to the
folks and making as a group.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Y'all sure do run hot and cold.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
Got forty five people at some party writing in wanting
to fight with us, And right down the road there
there's old Tracy wanting to slobber all over John bar.
Could y'all try to find what they call a happy medium?
Maybe he could have a town meeting or something and
talk this thing over now, Tracy, we appreciate you writing
(17:35):
to us, don't get me wrong. Oh and John Wombilly,
y'all laughed like he got some smarts.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Good morning, The Big Show is on the radio.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Okay, let's see we got here a little correspondence actions
on the Big Show. Dear guys, Robert D said, all
you had to do to get on your show was
to go to high school with John Boy.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Well, here are ten other ways to get on your show.
All right, good, this is some girls. Let me see
some Alabama girls from a felony manning felony.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yes her name, yes, she says, yes, my name is
pronounced felony. Well it is spelled p h E. L
Amy and my brother Arson. So anyway, so we just
had a top ten. Let's let's see how the felling
and the girls in her office, she says, The girls
and I got on the roll. And this is what
we came up with, ten ways to get on your show. Okay,
(19:03):
number ten, Sure you have the drum roll. And no
that's not worth it, believe me. Okay, So don't over expect,
don't over expect this. This is felonies Okay, the Alabama
Girls Top ten how to get on the Big Show.
Number ten be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
That's a way to get to host the show.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Number nine be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini. No, be a beautiful large breasted blonde Miss
Winston in a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Number eight be a beautiful, large breasted woman in a
bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke. Number seven
be a beautiful, large breasted woman bringing chicken wings, donuts
and a coke. Number six be a large breasted woman
bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke. Number five be
(20:02):
a breasted woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number four be a woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and
a coke. Number three bring chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number two bring donuts and a coke, and number one
bring donuts. So all right, that wasn't pretty good? Let
(20:31):
it go Felony Manning and the Girls in Alabama. Good
morning the Big Shows on it?
Speaker 7 (20:37):
Ready?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Can we go back a minute? And talk about naked
in a hotel room talking about my sister in law.
That was from my earlier conversation. Well, get that, this
is my family. Man, you talk about like that.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Hey, hey, I've seen your sister in law. I know
your sister in law. I know you.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Oh no, no, my cousins, Now.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Are you actually gonna sit here and try to truthfully
say if you had the chance, are you kidding me?
Speaker 4 (21:06):
I mean no, excuse me just a second.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
I'm gonna say right now, I am more of a
man than John Boy is. And it's obvious y'all know
my sister in law, Barbara. I'm gonna tell you right now,
I don't care if my wife is sitting on my lap.
I'm gonna take the opportunity. Yeah, but say but but
but that goes back a long way for you. I mean,
you know, Oh, it's mean to your wife. You say,
(21:33):
the worst thing you ever said to him is your
sister at home? The worst thing I ever said to Barbara?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yeah, is your sister home.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
If y'all have Barbara, our big show reception is here.
She is a baby doll.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
See that's okay for ready to say that because you know, well,
knowing true, that's never gonna happen. You actually might have
a shot.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I won't take that, man. I mean she was like
running around in diapers when I was dating hers sister.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
So was Barbara.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
She still might from time to time. Enough tequila and
you think you can talk Patty.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Into doing that's so much trouble.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I love my wife.
Speaker 6 (22:13):
I love her.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
That's too late.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
We're getting into a weird area.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
All right, dall well, your heterosexuality is flaming right.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
You're grating.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Everybody's gonna see him naked.
Speaker 8 (22:27):
To see me.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Oh that was let's level the playing field. Film a
cracking is coming up. Rather have more coffee, come on
(22:59):
to the make shows on a radio. Let's check it
on our part time receptionist Phil McCracken at the front desk.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
All the sad old men in their trust. They strain
when playing shuffle board. They can't bend down. Oi.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
They Oh, a deep.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Breath is going overboard. I go to the store, pickup Milt.
That's when I feel a stab in pain. Pick up
my cat. Oi. They oh, there's that awful pain again.
I heard the doc who was in shock say way, oh, way, way, way.
Life with the hernie. Uh life with the hernie. Uh
(23:39):
hollo bab, Please be patient with me today. It seems
I've herniated myself. How did I do it? I can
tell you exactly how I did it. I tried to
lift up John Boy's legendary big bag. Well I should
have looked at it before I even attempted that clean
and jerk. Let's see, there was a pan of left
(24:00):
over chicken wings, two cases of diet coke, five twelve
packs of cherry pop tarts, cups, plates, paper, towel, and
toilet paper. It's like he was channeling mister Rayford. But
I guess it's easier to shop here than stop at
the store. I'm sorry, I meant to say cheap per.
(24:21):
So what's to do with you?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Bubbaloo?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Uh huh? You had to you had to retake your
driving test, Oh, because of the tickets right right, right,
right right, and you failed?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
How on earth?
Speaker 4 (24:35):
Ah? Every time the car stopped you jumped in the
back seat. Well, you know, old habits are hard to break. This,
why don't you touch up the fabulous and well goot
along to Eron's. Okay, okay, okay, there she goes a
little further. Had a girl. No, no, no, he's married.
(24:56):
Keep going the planter again. That's the door she's in,
and it's clothed. God, you know the difference between butter
and a blonde butter can be hard to spread. Job
(25:18):
a bit cho fipping. I'm help you, yes, ma'am, uh huh,
you have a complaint. Welcome to the club. I bought
a pair of French cut tappants at Cato, and when
I got him home I could barely squeeze it. Oh,
I'm sorry, let's make this all about you. Hello, Oh,
(25:41):
my stars and garters. That was better than cheesecake. You
need a cigarette and I don't even smoke, John sham fifting.
I'm help you. You've got a complaint? Oh did you
pick the wrong day? Bring it on? You're mad about
a song they played? Really really here, try the take
(26:03):
the index finger and push the channel changer. Then take
the thumb, spin on it and stick it. Oh, here
comes the blonde bombshell. Gotta go, and now dust I
don't know I always say that, Hello, my angel. Oh
gossip yum yum yum yum yum yum yum. What's the
dirt skirt? Amber is pregnant again? Good, heavens, what does
(26:29):
she use for protection? The bus shelter? Good? Good, good cold?
Oh my head better stuck up on the BC.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Powders to the carry on straight, Good morning, the Big
show is on the radio.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
If you have written us, if you have asked questions,
we will attempt to answer some of them today.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Send pictures.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
No, no, don't remember the nickname that I gave you
while back and you didn't like. But first we will
answer a question that we get. Sometimes it might be
from you. Hang on, Good morning, the big shows on
(27:33):
the radio.
Speaker 9 (27:34):
This may be a good day to turn the focus
away from us and onto the listener's going.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Put folks among us. We did last week when was
suppose bye holding out here d d.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
D.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
We got letters, get your.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
Right here.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Those letters.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Say, oh boy, alright, out of the old mail bag.
A letter from Dallas, Billy.
Speaker 6 (28:22):
Yes, indeed, let's read that, sucker, John Boy and Billy.
I've been listening to your show for a few days
now and have a question. Are we in the Dallas
area getting the show the same day or is there
a tape delay? I hear you guys saying seventeen after
the hour a lot, or is that because you're on
the air in more than one time zone. Pardon my ignorance,
I just wanted to know, sincerely, Becky King, Plano, Texas.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Well, Billy, let me answer that. Of course, we are
absolutely live. This is a live broadcast. This is not
take delayed. Everything you hear is going to live in
our big Sell studio throughout the South.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Into different radio stations in our Big Show family soon.
Bro I think wonder.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Asked that as there are a old guys who do
syndicated radio from say the West Coast, and a lot
of them are tape delayed.
Speaker 10 (29:11):
Yeah, but not on this broad You don't like they
think we really want to hear it that bad to
listen to that's going on. But no, not right here
on this Big Show. Everything is absolutely loud. You're wearing
it as it happens.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I mean, if we had a chance to go back
and listen to it would cut out some of the stupo.
Absolutely listen to it would cut out some of the stupo,
would cut out some of the stupid.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
So and we're not trying to fool you.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
This show is live. Because if we were like said
it was live and it wouldn't that would be wrong.
They'll be very very wrong.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
So, as you're hearing the big show in your city,
it is happening here in a big show studio.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Thank you for your love. What do we have for it? Okay?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Not a thing?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
To Big Show, absolutely live and free. Did I mention
good morning to big shows on the radio?
Speaker 10 (30:23):
All right?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I was hoping a playhouse was popping up here sometime soon.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I need to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I'm looking forward to this playhouse coming up next. Good
(30:55):
morning to big show's on the radio.
Speaker 9 (30:56):
It's time, wellcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode the Holidays Shakedown. As our story opens, Ricky B.
Sharp is preparing for a relaxing Saturday at the Sharp
home in doth Un, Alabama.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Let's see here, two ice cooled twelve packs of beer,
two boxes of fun sized hot pockets, new batteries in
the remote, and the wife's out of town for the day.
It's the perfect couch potato Saturday. Hello, Hello that gum.
(31:45):
Oh hey Lisey, Now I'm finding lose my mind. I
was answering the phonefore I've picked it up. Well, how's
your sister's foot?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Still can't put wade on it. Huh and you're standing
in Opa Loka for an extra day? Well, I reckon,
I can muddle through somehow. You just get home when
you can. Okay, buger bye, a whole extra day to myself.
(32:18):
Couch Potato Saturday is getting better and better. She loves
that stupid as Jetson show. Oh oh the sam hell
could that be? Hang on? I swear to god, I'm
(32:44):
getting rid of this monster floor. That's other the hinges
of the hot pokers are coming back. Bless your heart.
Speaker 11 (32:58):
Is such a heavy door for such a small fer. Well,
good morning are you mister sharp?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Who wants to know?
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Debbie Moran?
Speaker 11 (33:07):
I'm with the Christmas Fund of Dothan. I ran into
your wife at the grocery store the other day and
she said this would be a good time to stop
buying chay it.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
Let me guess you're looking for money and you thought
you would hit up the big local celebrity cover. You're
nut for the whole month. Why he's Dothan's most beloved
fast food mask. He's bound to be loaded. Well, didn't
my wife tell you about her sister and the chronic
(33:43):
foot problems and no health insurance? She tell you about
my idiot brother the lost his house in a divorce.
He ain't got two nickels to rub together? Well, or
am I dope pet nephew running up a massive bill
at the rehab place. More, my skaky niece to got
dumped by some wormy little pot liquor that got her pregnant.
That stupid Jensen's doorbell cost me a fortune, freaking monster's doors,
(34:04):
breaking my heart. She mentioned any of that, No, sir,
she did is well, riddle me this blondie. If I
don't give money to any of them, why would I
give it to you?
Speaker 7 (34:17):
Son of them?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
We hope enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
But that that that that that that you could leave
the top two buttons.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
Dr mikel Tune up again next time when we hear
the crusty old foot doctor in opals.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. This good morning.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
The Big Show's on the radio, turning our attention to you,
the Big Show listener.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
God, let's sing, Oh.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
We get letters.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
We get your letters every day, man.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Today, turn mine up. Okay, maybe we don't know all
the word.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Boy thing doll mal today.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
All right, we got a letter here from uh beaver West, Virginia,
from the correctional institute there, John barn Billy. Let me
first say I'm one of your most dedicated fans. Captive
fans is more like it, since I'm presently under the
watchful eyes of the federal government at a correctional facility
in Beaver West, Virginia, which brings me to the reason
(35:58):
I'm writing. I listened to crook News all the time
and have yet to hear anything that tops my ordeal.
After a long day of bruise swilling, a friend and
I decided to find a pizza. We drove across the
state line and rolled into a small dark town. It
was small and dark because it was one thirty in
the morning and everything was closed. Oh just then, I
(36:20):
closed one eye I'm sure you've done that, and saw
a light in the distance. As we drew near, we
could make out the words bar and grill and it
was open. Well, well, we figured where there's beer, there's
bound to be pizza, so we went inside. Bad news,
the grill was closed. Good news, the bar was open.
Speaker 10 (36:41):
Huh oh.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Now, like the guy who wrote you recently about his
beer run, said, alcohol tends to make you think somewhat differently,
and after downing another twelve pack, we decided to relieve
the establishment of their daily cash intake.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Oh, it's taken an ugly turn.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Needless to say, this didn't go over too well with
these folks, and they started to get a little fussy.
Here's where the dumb really comes in. Since alcohol on
an empty stomach never did get our pizza, by the way,
tends to make you feel like a cross between Al
Capone and John Dillinger, we decided to take the folks
there in the bar for a ride.
Speaker 10 (37:20):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
We returned to our starting point just across the state
line with our passengers. We have since learned that the
FBI are automatically involved when you cross a state line
with folks that don't walk across the state line.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
I've heard that yet.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
In other words, what we called a ride, the authorities
call kidnapping. Imagine our surprise. It's now two thirty in
the morning. As we come to a stoplight, our adventure
takes a new twist. We run out of gas. This
stop light is at one of the town's major intersections,
(37:59):
and one of the several cars behind us is a
police cruiser. As we saw it. We had three options.
A run like heck, B give up and plead insanity,
or C get out and push. Thinking quickly, we of
course chose the only logical option, of course, see get
out and push. After we pushed the car into a
(38:23):
vacant lot, my partner went for gas. Well, as luck
would have it, the police car that had been behind
us at the intersection pulled in behind our car. I
got out and explained our situation carefully, leaving out the
part about the two people who were lying prone on
the floorboard of the car.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
That was a good move. Yeah, the officer seemed.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Satisfied, at least he did up until he saw the
two people lying prone on the floorboard. I quickly ran
through my options again, this time choosing a run like heck.
As you can tell from my return address, that option
failed miserably. Well, guys, that's pretty much the story. I
(39:06):
tell you the moral, but well there's not one. You're
paal Tom Kent.
Speaker 4 (39:11):
Beaver, West Virginia Correctional Institute.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
All right, y'all, group, stop, good morning, the big show
is on the Radio's see.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
We're looking at y'all on this show. Let's look what
we got coming up? To this hour.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Uh, Marcus the Painter on Outburst, one of our favorite contestants.
All right, a response to Jan Holly about Andy Taylor.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Was an advertisement that you and Billy were spokesman for
for an agency, and the.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Agency didn't think we did a very good job.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
That's a snippy letter. You remember that one, Oh good
good and it to it will be good. Let's say, uh.
And we have a follow up to that as well.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
That's why we brought Floyd in on it apparently.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
And then I say here, Matthew can't get through. So
we are fielding questions as we turn our spotlight on
the big show listening.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
The more we seem to be turning it on the listeners,
the more buttholes we seem to be.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Thank you for noticing Marcus the Painter on Outburst. Let's
start off with that next
Good morning, God, good duddle.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Shut up.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
We've been on our little beach outy.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
I called him, called his house, and.
Speaker 5 (00:15):
I just I've been in the room with him when
he has that voice on. You don't want to know
where his hand been.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I thought it was between two.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
No, No, you know I'm right. You know I'm right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
You lay in bed.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Holding on to those things down there around the doodle, dude.
Speaker 6 (00:38):
That's why the next thing you usually hear is tell
me a story.
Speaker 5 (00:42):
Or I've heard him actually turning with that pose and
what are you gonna do today?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
That before or after we spoon the question. I didn't
butt you over, but I see you kind of got
your hands full.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And you know all these times have been traveling, Randy,
and I've never seen you naked.
Speaker 6 (01:05):
Yeah, to keep it that well, Oh my gosh, it's
a vote from Sandy Pinkard a finger.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I remember remember that belly. It was years ago. But
he said they fired another drummer and they went there
more than spinal thing.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I never trust him anyway, all them days on the
road and I never saw him naked.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
They fired him.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
He druss him on the road.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Maybe he don't like people comporting and his new toy,
and Mad said, do you want me to change the
wording on the ad and the trade papers? Yeah, no, kidding.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Listen, I don't even like to see me naked.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Well, there's nothing about like because they read the whole
thing wrong. You need to spend some time on the road.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'll rephrase it. I don't even want to see me.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Randy, peel him off. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And I said, the pills, why don't you die? He said,
what color is it now? Number nineteen, number nineteen. So
cocka dottle doo in. Yeah, yeah, I hear.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It was going to be sweet in the morning. You
got the dude dang gummy.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Good morning to.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Make show us on the radio heavy Thanksgiving weekend.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Let's go back.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
We live Thanksgiving moment.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
We all know history, but there's so much more we
don't know. I'm Sir David Edinburgh and this is unknown history.
The year is sixteen twenty. A group of one hundred
(03:14):
weary passengers sailed from England to the New World aboard
the good ship Mayflower. They desperately wait for the news
that land is in sight. That's the sign you in
the christ nest. Do you see land? Latinold his name
(03:41):
was Kleine, a rather unusual stowaway, and that he was
a dromedary camel. He was hailed as a hero and
quickly took his place among his fellow pilgrims. But the
early days were not easy. Half the settlement was lost
that first year, and food was scarce. If we do
(04:04):
not get our crops to flourish, the entire colony will perish. Clyde,
I fear the future appears bleak. No, what's that rare?
Ask for the natives. That's madness, that's savages. Yeah, Tonto,
you say, yeah, Squanto, I'm sorry, could you do the introductions? Yeah?
(04:29):
Clyde brought Squanto before William Bradford. An agreement is profit,
and soon there was food a plenty and the colony
slowly struggled back. In a profound gesture of gratitude, the
Pilgrims invited the Native Americans to a feast of thanks
and the tradition of thanksgiving was born. We would not
(04:57):
be here today if not for the one known as Clyde. Yeah,
that is the truth, is it not, William Bradford. Squatto
speaks the truth, and it's only fitting that Clyde give
the prayer.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, but things would take a dark turn. Clyde became
romantically entangled with Bradford's second wife, Dorothy.
Speaker 7 (05:38):
Oh, Clyde, we cannot continue our illiscitrists. I fear my
husband is suspicious. Those hoof shaped bruises on my back
were hard to explain. Yeah, I told him I was
trampled by dear but alas he was unconvinced.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah yeah, all right, one last time.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
And it would be the last time Clyde, Dorothy, my
wife and my best friend be gone and never return
him or me.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Him.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Clyde left in shame and never returned. No one knew
whatever became of him, but he did resurface years later.
Speaker 8 (06:27):
So I just tie this key to this kite. Eh,
but what about this storm until next time? This is
Sir David Edinburgh reminding you that.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
It's not the history. That's no, it's the history.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I know.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Coome wanting to make shows on your radio.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
All ride, I.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Turner, Let me see this is number eight and forty seven.
Yea our series.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
All right, we're good. Well we'll ask him about it
next Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
(07:27):
It's time to Axite.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Yo, what's up? Welcome to a hold on Patrick, Leave
astront alone. He is not gonna autograph your copy of
zombie Land. I know that's how he looks, but it
ain't him. Go out and get out of here. I
spelled meet. Look, if you can find me some Welcome
(07:51):
to Axe, the place to go for all of for
one one you need for all?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yo?
Speaker 4 (07:57):
What you call holy rulation over nation? Trimps dig this,
dear ike. My wife and I just retired and moved
from Maine to a small town in Georgia. I don't
want to say the name because they listened to the
show here. I really enjoy the laid back lifestyle and
the people are wonderful. As part of our New Year's resolution,
(08:21):
we decided to go back to church. We're just not
sure where to go. I know this is outside your
area of expertise, but what should I expect from a
small country church? If you don't know, could you pass
this on to someone who might like Bidley? Thanks an
awful lot Mark and Gisell. Gizell, I'd be married to
(08:41):
an antelope. Small town Georgia, dead geesus hell, The ain't nothing.
I don't know something about I've been to a little
bitter at Southern church, and despite what you might have
heard from some wanna be half calf Latte brothers, it's
not a bunch of white people clinging the gun in religion.
(09:01):
They was clinging to they cousins. Though you know it's
a scientific fact that cousins are good for practice. Word
to John Boy. Now, these were pretty good folks. It's
not a bunch of goober's snotting at the nose and
swinging rattlesnakes through the air and speaking in tongues.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
They do that on Monday nights.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
But it was different. I was dating this fine, thick,
pale faced princess and she insisted I go to church
with her and her family. Well, since she was throwing
down in the booudoir, I figured what I try to
make her happy with my clothes on for a change.
Here was an eye opener to say the least, let
me preach on it. Now, instead of a bell, the
(09:44):
call to worship is recording to jerk Cloud going, oh,
I can't do the boy. At least twice a week
someone in the congregation complains about Noah putting coyotes on
the ark. It ain't perfect world. Super Bowl Sunday is
the first official church holiday of the year, followed by
(10:06):
the first day a da season. One of the church
members requested to be buried in his four wheel drive
pickup because it ain't never been in a hole it
couldn't get out of. It's real good folks too. Now
the only time anyone locks their car doors is the summertime,
so no one can leave a back of squash on
the front seat. People are grossome, damn squashed down here.
(10:30):
The choir they was just average. They called him the
Okay Corral. I like that one. They all thought rapture
was what you got from helping your fat cousin in
the truck man. During parables, the preacher used bad Guy
(10:52):
Restless to illustrate the seven deadly seas, and down here
flipp probably covered five to six. Somebody his own cells.
The preacher offers BC powders instead of the host way
for if you come in hungover on Sunday. The baptismal
tubble doubles is a live baitwhell. The coat room also
(11:16):
had a gun rack. They might steal your gun with
they leaving the squash in the front seat of your car,
the choir rooms covered with church sponsored logos like a nashcar,
and of course the preacher works you'd a done in
every service you people in your damn kits. Preach got
to be fair. This is just what went down with me.
These results are not typical and may vary from your
(11:39):
individual experience. And no butt cracks were harmed with a
tor of a boot during these services. He sees height
peace out.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
If you feel the need to acche. Mail to ixyche.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
John Moore, Billay and Pilbox seventy six sixty three Charlotte
didn't see two eighty two four one a live Baitwell,
good morning, the Big Show is on the radio, I
think for today. By the way, last week we looked
at us here at a big show. Today we turned
the camera, well we would if we had one, I
guess microphones in this case.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
To you, the Big Show listener, So get your clothes off.
If we don't see your naked, we don't trust you.
We learned that earlier the show.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
All right, So yeah, let's turn it around, honor you,
the Big Show listener. We'll start off with another letter
coming up next.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Good morning, the Big Show is on the radio.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Come in, let us look at you. Oh we get letters.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh boy, alrighty a flurry of activity out of all
these cities. The John boyd Billy Big Show broadcast Annway.
Heir a lot from Dallas, from Austin, and it seemed
from Macon, Georgia.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
For some reason.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Remember we had the uh letter from forty five people
at a party and Making Georgia listing things they hated
about the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
We had to bring mister Taylor in. He recommended that
maybe their future parties.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
A little drinking, little drinking, maybe some Chester. Well there's
another one from Macon, Georgia. BAM, addressed to John boy
Dear John Boy. The Big Show was recently picked up
here in Making Georgia on Q one oh six. Billboards
off You and Billy are plastered all over town. See
your face six or more times each day. I wake
(14:07):
up to your voice each day, and you shower with
me and then get me off.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
To work. I have developed quite a crush on you
and have even began to dream of you.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
And I.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Please don't think this is a joke. I mean closing
my business card in a recent photo, hoping that you'll
take this seriously. If you would consider meeting me, I'll
be happy to come where you are. Please respond sincerely, Tracy.
I'll just give your first name, Tracy, And here is
the picture of Tracy.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
All right.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I think I had listen. Uh well, Tracy, that.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Mister two minutes.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I think I can handle this.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Come on in, come on in.
Speaker 6 (15:08):
Oh my good morning, John Boy, morning there being good
morning to you, Tracy.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I feel like I need y'all need me on this one.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Now, Tracy, we appreciate your interest in the show, honey,
although it is possible to take a little bit too
fart and may I say you're a creeping up on
that line you say, Now, believe me, I've seen John
Boy and Billy on a billboard before running into them
(15:42):
five six times a day. Well, I can see how
that prey on a person's mind, especially a kindly high
strung woman like you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Say.
Speaker 6 (15:52):
It was mighty nice of you run down to the
mall to glamour shots and take your real pretty picture there, Yes, ma'am,
are real picture. But I got to say, now, this
thing about being in the Shire is johenre Well, you're
starting to scare me just the tensiest little beef now,
(16:12):
you say, Please, don't think this is a joke.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Man.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Believe me, if you're wanting to climb in the shire
with John Boy, I'm sure.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
You're just real serious about it. You'd have to.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
But let me just say, like Jackie over there always
says you don't want to go there, No, ma'am, you
don't want that at all. You see now, John Boy,
he's already got a girl and a fine looking zest
for a living woman like yourself. Maybe you ought to
(16:46):
find you a good local man to cosey too. In fact,
I hear tell there's a group of about forty five
of them right.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
There in town.
Speaker 6 (16:53):
That's just real right for some female companionship. Y'all got
the return of from that one of that party last week.
Maybe we could pass out a lot of the trace
now if I can just say a word to the
folks and making as a group.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Y'all sure do run hot and cold.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
Got forty five people at some party writing in wanting
to fight with us, And right down the road there
there's old Tracy wanting to slobber all over John bar.
Could y'all try to find what they call a happy medium?
Maybe he could have a town meeting or something and
talk this thing over now, Tracy, we appreciate you writing
(17:35):
to us, don't get me wrong. Oh and John Wombilly,
y'all laughed like he got some smarts.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Good morning, The Big Show is on the radio.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Okay, let's see we got here a little correspondence actions
on the Big Show. Dear guys, Robert D said, all
you had to do to get on your show was
to go to high school with John Boy.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Well, here are ten other ways to get on your show.
All right, good, this is some girls. Let me see
some Alabama girls from a felony manning felony.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yes her name, yes, she says, yes, my name is
pronounced felony. Well it is spelled p h E. L
Amy and my brother Arson. So anyway, so we just
had a top ten. Let's let's see how the felling
and the girls in her office, she says, The girls
and I got on the roll. And this is what
we came up with, ten ways to get on your show. Okay,
(19:03):
number ten, Sure you have the drum roll. And no
that's not worth it, believe me. Okay, So don't over expect,
don't over expect this. This is felonies Okay, the Alabama
Girls Top ten how to get on the Big Show.
Number ten be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
That's a way to get to host the show.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Number nine be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini. No, be a beautiful large breasted blonde Miss
Winston in a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Number eight be a beautiful, large breasted woman in a
bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke. Number seven
be a beautiful, large breasted woman bringing chicken wings, donuts
and a coke. Number six be a large breasted woman
bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke. Number five be
(20:02):
a breasted woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number four be a woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and
a coke. Number three bring chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number two bring donuts and a coke, and number one
bring donuts. So all right, that wasn't pretty good? Let
(20:31):
it go Felony Manning and the Girls in Alabama. Good
morning the Big Shows on it?
Speaker 7 (20:37):
Ready?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Can we go back a minute? And talk about naked
in a hotel room talking about my sister in law.
That was from my earlier conversation. Well, get that, this
is my family. Man, you talk about like that.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Hey, hey, I've seen your sister in law. I know
your sister in law. I know you.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Oh no, no, my cousins, Now.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Are you actually gonna sit here and try to truthfully
say if you had the chance, are you kidding me?
Speaker 4 (21:06):
I mean no, excuse me just a second.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
I'm gonna say right now, I am more of a
man than John Boy is. And it's obvious y'all know
my sister in law, Barbara. I'm gonna tell you right now,
I don't care if my wife is sitting on my lap.
I'm gonna take the opportunity. Yeah, but say but but
but that goes back a long way for you. I mean,
you know, Oh, it's mean to your wife. You say,
(21:33):
the worst thing you ever said to him is your
sister at home? The worst thing I ever said to Barbara?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yeah, is your sister home.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
If y'all have Barbara, our big show reception is here.
She is a baby doll.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
See that's okay for ready to say that because you know, well,
knowing true, that's never gonna happen. You actually might have
a shot.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I won't take that, man. I mean she was like
running around in diapers when I was dating hers sister.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
So was Barbara.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
She still might from time to time. Enough tequila and
you think you can talk Patty.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Into doing that's so much trouble.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I love my wife.
Speaker 6 (22:13):
I love her.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
That's too late.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
We're getting into a weird area.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
All right, dall well, your heterosexuality is flaming right.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
You're grating.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Everybody's gonna see him naked.
Speaker 8 (22:27):
To see me.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Oh that was let's level the playing field. Film a
cracking is coming up. Rather have more coffee, come on
(22:59):
to the make shows on a radio. Let's check it
on our part time receptionist Phil McCracken at the front desk.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
All the sad old men in their trust. They strain
when playing shuffle board. They can't bend down. Oi.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
They Oh, a deep.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Breath is going overboard. I go to the store, pickup Milt.
That's when I feel a stab in pain. Pick up
my cat. Oi. They oh, there's that awful pain again.
I heard the doc who was in shock say way, oh, way, way, way.
Life with the hernie. Uh life with the hernie. Uh
(23:39):
hollo bab, Please be patient with me today. It seems
I've herniated myself. How did I do it? I can
tell you exactly how I did it. I tried to
lift up John Boy's legendary big bag. Well I should
have looked at it before I even attempted that clean
and jerk. Let's see, there was a pan of left
(24:00):
over chicken wings, two cases of diet coke, five twelve
packs of cherry pop tarts, cups, plates, paper, towel, and
toilet paper. It's like he was channeling mister Rayford. But
I guess it's easier to shop here than stop at
the store. I'm sorry, I meant to say cheap per.
(24:21):
So what's to do with you?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Bubbaloo?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Uh huh? You had to you had to retake your
driving test, Oh, because of the tickets right right, right,
right right, and you failed?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
How on earth?
Speaker 4 (24:35):
Ah? Every time the car stopped you jumped in the
back seat. Well, you know, old habits are hard to break. This,
why don't you touch up the fabulous and well goot
along to Eron's. Okay, okay, okay, there she goes a
little further. Had a girl. No, no, no, he's married.
(24:56):
Keep going the planter again. That's the door she's in,
and it's clothed. God, you know the difference between butter
and a blonde butter can be hard to spread. Job
(25:18):
a bit cho fipping. I'm help you, yes, ma'am, uh huh,
you have a complaint. Welcome to the club. I bought
a pair of French cut tappants at Cato, and when
I got him home I could barely squeeze it. Oh,
I'm sorry, let's make this all about you. Hello, Oh,
(25:41):
my stars and garters. That was better than cheesecake. You
need a cigarette and I don't even smoke, John sham fifting.
I'm help you. You've got a complaint? Oh did you
pick the wrong day? Bring it on? You're mad about
a song they played? Really really here, try the take
(26:03):
the index finger and push the channel changer. Then take
the thumb, spin on it and stick it. Oh, here
comes the blonde bombshell. Gotta go, and now dust I
don't know I always say that, Hello, my angel. Oh
gossip yum yum yum yum yum yum yum. What's the
dirt skirt? Amber is pregnant again? Good, heavens, what does
(26:29):
she use for protection? The bus shelter? Good? Good, good cold?
Oh my head better stuck up on the BC.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Powders to the carry on straight, Good morning, the Big
show is on the radio.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
If you have written us, if you have asked questions,
we will attempt to answer some of them today.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Send pictures.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
No, no, don't remember the nickname that I gave you
while back and you didn't like. But first we will
answer a question that we get. Sometimes it might be
from you. Hang on, Good morning, the big shows on
(27:33):
the radio.
Speaker 9 (27:34):
This may be a good day to turn the focus
away from us and onto the listener's going.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Put folks among us. We did last week when was
suppose bye holding out here d d.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
D.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
We got letters, get your.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
Right here.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Those letters.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Say, oh boy, alright, out of the old mail bag.
A letter from Dallas, Billy.
Speaker 6 (28:22):
Yes, indeed, let's read that, sucker, John Boy and Billy.
I've been listening to your show for a few days
now and have a question. Are we in the Dallas
area getting the show the same day or is there
a tape delay? I hear you guys saying seventeen after
the hour a lot, or is that because you're on
the air in more than one time zone. Pardon my ignorance,
I just wanted to know, sincerely, Becky King, Plano, Texas.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Well, Billy, let me answer that. Of course, we are
absolutely live. This is a live broadcast. This is not
take delayed. Everything you hear is going to live in
our big Sell studio throughout the South.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Into different radio stations in our Big Show family soon.
Bro I think wonder.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Asked that as there are a old guys who do
syndicated radio from say the West Coast, and a lot
of them are tape delayed.
Speaker 10 (29:11):
Yeah, but not on this broad You don't like they
think we really want to hear it that bad to
listen to that's going on. But no, not right here
on this Big Show. Everything is absolutely loud. You're wearing
it as it happens.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I mean, if we had a chance to go back
and listen to it would cut out some of the stupo.
Absolutely listen to it would cut out some of the stupo,
would cut out some of the stupid.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
So and we're not trying to fool you.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
This show is live. Because if we were like said
it was live and it wouldn't that would be wrong.
They'll be very very wrong.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
So, as you're hearing the big show in your city,
it is happening here in a big show studio.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Thank you for your love. What do we have for it? Okay?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Not a thing?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
To Big Show, absolutely live and free. Did I mention
good morning to big shows on the radio?
Speaker 10 (30:23):
All right?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I was hoping a playhouse was popping up here sometime soon.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I need to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I'm looking forward to this playhouse coming up next. Good
(30:55):
morning to big show's on the radio.
Speaker 9 (30:56):
It's time, wellcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode the Holidays Shakedown. As our story opens, Ricky B.
Sharp is preparing for a relaxing Saturday at the Sharp
home in doth Un, Alabama.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Let's see here, two ice cooled twelve packs of beer,
two boxes of fun sized hot pockets, new batteries in
the remote, and the wife's out of town for the day.
It's the perfect couch potato Saturday. Hello, Hello that gum.
(31:45):
Oh hey Lisey, Now I'm finding lose my mind. I
was answering the phonefore I've picked it up. Well, how's
your sister's foot?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Still can't put wade on it. Huh and you're standing
in Opa Loka for an extra day? Well, I reckon,
I can muddle through somehow. You just get home when
you can. Okay, buger bye, a whole extra day to myself.
(32:18):
Couch Potato Saturday is getting better and better. She loves
that stupid as Jetson show. Oh oh the sam hell
could that be? Hang on? I swear to god, I'm
(32:44):
getting rid of this monster floor. That's other the hinges
of the hot pokers are coming back. Bless your heart.
Speaker 11 (32:58):
Is such a heavy door for such a small fer. Well,
good morning are you mister sharp?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Who wants to know?
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Debbie Moran?
Speaker 11 (33:07):
I'm with the Christmas Fund of Dothan. I ran into
your wife at the grocery store the other day and
she said this would be a good time to stop
buying chay it.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
Let me guess you're looking for money and you thought
you would hit up the big local celebrity cover. You're
nut for the whole month. Why he's Dothan's most beloved
fast food mask. He's bound to be loaded. Well, didn't
my wife tell you about her sister and the chronic
(33:43):
foot problems and no health insurance? She tell you about
my idiot brother the lost his house in a divorce.
He ain't got two nickels to rub together? Well, or
am I dope pet nephew running up a massive bill
at the rehab place. More, my skaky niece to got
dumped by some wormy little pot liquor that got her pregnant.
That stupid Jensen's doorbell cost me a fortune, freaking monster's doors,
(34:04):
breaking my heart. She mentioned any of that, No, sir,
she did is well, riddle me this blondie. If I
don't give money to any of them, why would I
give it to you?
Speaker 7 (34:17):
Son of them?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
We hope enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
But that that that that that that you could leave
the top two buttons.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
Dr mikel Tune up again next time when we hear
the crusty old foot doctor in opals.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. This good morning.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
The Big Show's on the radio, turning our attention to you,
the Big Show listener.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
God, let's sing, Oh.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
We get letters.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
We get your letters every day, man.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Today, turn mine up. Okay, maybe we don't know all
the word.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Boy thing doll mal today.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
All right, we got a letter here from uh beaver West, Virginia,
from the correctional institute there, John barn Billy. Let me
first say I'm one of your most dedicated fans. Captive
fans is more like it, since I'm presently under the
watchful eyes of the federal government at a correctional facility
in Beaver West, Virginia, which brings me to the reason
(35:58):
I'm writing. I listened to crook News all the time
and have yet to hear anything that tops my ordeal.
After a long day of bruise swilling, a friend and
I decided to find a pizza. We drove across the
state line and rolled into a small dark town. It
was small and dark because it was one thirty in
the morning and everything was closed. Oh just then, I
(36:20):
closed one eye I'm sure you've done that, and saw
a light in the distance. As we drew near, we
could make out the words bar and grill and it
was open. Well, well, we figured where there's beer, there's
bound to be pizza, so we went inside. Bad news,
the grill was closed. Good news, the bar was open.
Speaker 10 (36:41):
Huh oh.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Now, like the guy who wrote you recently about his
beer run, said, alcohol tends to make you think somewhat differently,
and after downing another twelve pack, we decided to relieve
the establishment of their daily cash intake.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Oh, it's taken an ugly turn.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Needless to say, this didn't go over too well with
these folks, and they started to get a little fussy.
Here's where the dumb really comes in. Since alcohol on
an empty stomach never did get our pizza, by the way,
tends to make you feel like a cross between Al
Capone and John Dillinger, we decided to take the folks
there in the bar for a ride.
Speaker 10 (37:20):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
We returned to our starting point just across the state
line with our passengers. We have since learned that the
FBI are automatically involved when you cross a state line
with folks that don't walk across the state line.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
I've heard that yet.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
In other words, what we called a ride, the authorities
call kidnapping. Imagine our surprise. It's now two thirty in
the morning. As we come to a stoplight, our adventure
takes a new twist. We run out of gas. This
stop light is at one of the town's major intersections,
(37:59):
and one of the several cars behind us is a
police cruiser. As we saw it. We had three options.
A run like heck, B give up and plead insanity,
or C get out and push. Thinking quickly, we of
course chose the only logical option, of course, see get
out and push. After we pushed the car into a
(38:23):
vacant lot, my partner went for gas. Well, as luck
would have it, the police car that had been behind
us at the intersection pulled in behind our car. I
got out and explained our situation carefully, leaving out the
part about the two people who were lying prone on
the floorboard of the car.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
That was a good move. Yeah, the officer seemed.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Satisfied, at least he did up until he saw the
two people lying prone on the floorboard. I quickly ran
through my options again, this time choosing a run like heck.
As you can tell from my return address, that option
failed miserably. Well, guys, that's pretty much the story. I
(39:06):
tell you the moral, but well there's not one. You're
paal Tom Kent.
Speaker 4 (39:11):
Beaver, West Virginia Correctional Institute.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
All right, y'all, group, stop, good morning, the big show
is on the Radio's see.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
We're looking at y'all on this show. Let's look what
we got coming up? To this hour.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Uh, Marcus the Painter on Outburst, one of our favorite contestants.
All right, a response to Jan Holly about Andy Taylor.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Was an advertisement that you and Billy were spokesman for
for an agency, and the.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Agency didn't think we did a very good job.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
That's a snippy letter. You remember that one, Oh good
good and it to it will be good. Let's say, uh.
And we have a follow up to that as well.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
That's why we brought Floyd in on it apparently.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
And then I say here, Matthew can't get through. So
we are fielding questions as we turn our spotlight on
the big show listening.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
The more we seem to be turning it on the listeners,
the more buttholes we seem to be.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Thank you for noticing Marcus the Painter on Outburst. Let's
start off with that next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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