February 3, 2025 • 40 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Randy’s sister is having a birthday.. - Mr. Sulu plays spokesman for Old Spice.. - Rev Billy Ray Collins takes to the pulpit to invite all to his now annual Super Salvation Bowl gathering for the big game.. - Astronerd tries out his Star Trek material.. - The Grumpy Old Man goes off the rails over sex education.. - and Murray shares some of the screenplay ideas his nephew Sherman has cooked up…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It's a big show on the radio without feature track
from the Big Show bit box. Don't mind our agent Murray.
It's all about Sherman screenplays. If his nephew's got the talent,
he worn't screenplay the big Box at the Big Show,
Dot coming out. Let's play Pete the Blonde, got our blonde?
(00:54):
Now a get our contested? David had a Lufkin Texas.
Good morning, Dave is.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hey, good morning, John Boy. How y'all doing that?
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Man?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We awe somebody welcome in here? By David, you will
ask t there's some questions. You agree or disagree, Get
two bests for two buzzers, and you get the gold prize.
Pack a buddy a jump in there and take tape.
According to a famous dress designer, a dress should be
(01:26):
tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough
to show what.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
That you're affordable adable. Don't make me think that you
are adventurous, that you are adventurous. What do you say, David,
Agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Well, I guess I'm gonna agree.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Gonna agree with the adventurous for a loose dress. Ah
really does have that many dresses you don't know tight
enough to show you're a woman, and loose enough to
show that you.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Are a lady. She didn't have a chance to do
that much either, adventurous.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Because like your clothes wouldn't be too never mind, I
won't quit thinking about it.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
You know, you want to go on a bike ride,
you know, unless.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
They when you get David a bell here to keep alive?
All right, africod crocodiles. All right, you often lie in
the sun and let birds fly into their mouths.
Speaker 6 (02:41):
Why, well, of course, if you let them fly to
the other end, it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I don't even know where that is. The other end
around there somewhere.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Birds fly in the mouth of the alligator. Why do
they let them do that?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Well, the birds like to pick the food out of
their teeth.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Wow, alligator lets the bird pick food out of his teeth.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
David agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Well, I kind of agree. I think they clean their
whole mouth every time. But yeah, inside, okay, I so
agree with that.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, they flying and pick the teeth whatever else food's
lying around in there? Okay, good word? All right, don
see what happens here, Tanner. Let's go to polar bears.
Oh my wheelhouse yeah, although polar bears are very good
(03:42):
at it, they usually only use their front feet to
do it.
Speaker 7 (03:49):
Do what well, I mean that's the only way they
can reach it. I don't know, no nose.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Oh, it's front feet to swim.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
To swim, all holder bears use their front feet to swim. David,
agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I agree?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, they prefer to paddle using just their front Paul's
dragging their back feet alone for ze.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Sounds like a John Boy Bear brother dead work.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
There, y'all, So David, you hang on, We'll get you
a prize pack down the luft can bodyngratulation, Yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Can I give a quick shout out?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
You go ahead, y'all.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Want to thank all my guys that work for me
at Quality Renovation, And I want to thank you and
your morning crew for making our short drive enjoyable every morning.
And I want to give a shout out to all
my good friends down here, specially Michael Habard and his family.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Hello, Rah, David, appreciate you and your crew. Listening to
the big show. All right, let's jump out, catch you
up on your news. Sulu Mania is what.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
We started last week.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
We'll try to finish it right on the other's side.
(05:47):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio well a
Jana Sulu's ears. After that took off, of course, John
Connery before he passed away, moved on to host Jeopardy,
and Szulu went into the recordings to go this is
at Psulu Mania. I was talking about turn it up.
Speaker 8 (06:30):
Captain Kirk and all us other guys. We're all aboard
Starship Enterprise. When mister Spock said, hey, Jim, let's go
out and get some trip. He said, hey Jim, he
could walk on the wild sack. He said, hey, Bart,
(06:51):
they could walk from the wilds act Scotty beamed him
down two tallows four somewhere they had never been before.
(07:13):
Captain Kirk made the scene, meant this baby and she
was green. She said, hey Captain, he could walk from
the wild side. She said, hey Kirk, he could walk
from the wild side.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
And the Captain goes, do you do? Do you do? Do you?
You do? You? You do? Do you do you You
do you? You do? You do? You do you do
you do? You do you do you do?
Speaker 7 (07:37):
Do you?
Speaker 9 (07:37):
Doo do doo doo doo do doo doo do doo
doo doo do doo doo do doo doo do do
do do do do doo doo doo.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Do do.
Speaker 8 (07:56):
Mystery Spot never once showed emotion until he hit the
space bar looking for some local motion. You found the
best girl he could find. Went out of his bulking mind, said, hey, baby,
take a walk on the wild side. She said, hayespot,
(08:16):
take a walk on the wild side.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
All right.
Speaker 8 (08:29):
Doctor McCoy really had a jones, said hey, hey baby,
what do you think they call me?
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Bones?
Speaker 8 (08:38):
Scotty sat there looking sour, said.
Speaker 10 (08:41):
Botty, God, I can't got no power.
Speaker 8 (08:43):
Said hey, Bones, take a walk on the wild side.
She said, hey, Scotty, take a walk on the wild side.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
And the captain goes, do you do you? Do you?
Speaker 11 (08:54):
Do? You?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Did you do you? Did you? Did you? Did you?
You did you? Did you? You you? You did you?
Did you did you?
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Doo doo doo doo do doo doo do do do
do do doo doo doo doo do do doo doo
doo doo doo do do.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Do Good minding my on the big shows already? Why
(10:02):
go one?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That one right there, That's all that's all.
Speaker 10 (10:06):
I readly knew it was this when I here, good morning,
John Boy, Bill ad Randy Jackie with her girl reddend
ernestly say said, hell, you know, I had an invitation
to speak at the Rotary Club at the monthly meeting
last week. They asked me to speak because the topic
was gonna be a biblical look at the topic of
sex and marriage. Well, I was very flatter that they
(10:28):
asked me to speak. I did a little Bible study,
prepared a very carefully research look at sex in the
context of the marriage relationship. But now, to tell you
the truth, my wife, you know, she pretty old fashioned,
and she find she's kind of screaming about the subject
of sex in general, and especially screaming about he.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
About me talking about it than public.
Speaker 10 (10:47):
So I told her I won't give her a speech
to the Rotary Club, honey, And she said, what's it about.
I said, well, is it gonna be about the horseback riding?
She said, horseback riding?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I said yeah.
Speaker 10 (10:57):
So a couple of days later, some of the guys
from the club ran into Missus Sinseil over at the mall.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
They walked up and said, well, man.
Speaker 10 (11:04):
We sure did enjoy Reverend and He's talk this week.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
She said, say you did that kind of surprises me.
And they said, well, really, well, why is that?
Speaker 10 (11:13):
And she said, wow, Reverend, I don't know nothing at
all about that particular subject. I mean, he ain't done
it but twice. First time he was so soorry he
couldn't walk the next day, and the second time he
fell off and broke his leg. What's up with that now, lisdien, Jimmy,
let's keep it going for your headline of hair. He is, yeah,
he's good.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
You you.
Speaker 12 (11:34):
And the congregation said, alrighty, hey, I got a true
story hair about about about a guy and a wife
and it involved.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Said already, we don't believe.
Speaker 12 (11:46):
I have been wanting the kid for a long time, fighting.
The wife is pregnant, getting ready to give birth.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
That is there.
Speaker 12 (11:51):
The hospital rope comes out. Bow, ain't nothing but a head,
that it is. That's right, what big handed down, No
torso or LEXI nothing. White Dash still loved that son,
that big oldhead, and raised him with love all his life.
When it come time he turned twenty one, Dad took
him to the bar. He's all right, son, type you
first drake hit her into bad hood. All the bar
(12:11):
patriots was looking over the bartender alight, he go bade
a strong drake. Boy took a gump, bam, a body
popped out way oh again did the bar dead silent,
and then burst into a whoop of joy. The father
he shocked a whoop of joy, and he begs us say.
He says, have another drake. The patriots are chatting, take
(12:32):
another drink, taking another drake. Bartender back there, you're shaking
his head this way swoop, two arms pop out.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Another whoop of joy.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
In the bar going wild.
Speaker 12 (12:41):
Another daddy was crying and waiting, begs his son take
another drake, on by you and take another drake. That bartender,
he's a nord. The whole affair by now. Boy getting
a little tipsy with his new heads. He reaches down,
grabs his drink, guzzles the last of it. Bam, bam,
two legs pop out. Heartble ain't but true. The bars
and chaos. The father's so thankful. Oh yeah, several walks of.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Joy right there.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
When the boy stands, I'm on his new legs. He
stumbles to the left, then to.
Speaker 12 (13:10):
The right, right through the front door into the street,
where a truck runs into him and kills him down
on the spot.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
The bar falls silent. The father bodes in grief.
Speaker 12 (13:21):
That bartender cleans his glasses and whistles and old irish
too that dad and looks a bartender said, how can
you be so cold and callous? Bartender looks up and
said that boy should have quit while he's a head.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
And then day.
Speaker 12 (13:36):
Morning if they got over hey, and she got pregnant again?
I you definitely what happened another head? I don't believe
had another head? And for well, here we go again.
He's thankful just to have him with the other hand,
but it's old. He wasn't really a dice boy and
good with like the other one. Wee he's just wide
and could play what thankful about nothing?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
They being there?
Speaker 10 (13:55):
He ain't gonna get lucky.
Speaker 12 (13:56):
Twice it was Christmas morning and he comes out white
and firely comes in there.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Dad plops him down, said, well, don't you want to hope?
Do you present? It's Christmas morning? Said what for? What
is it?
Speaker 5 (14:08):
Another hat?
Speaker 4 (14:12):
What?
Speaker 10 (14:13):
That story had the same mile as the last one?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
What was it? You should have quit?
Speaker 5 (14:17):
Why you was Whyn't you talking to me?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's strange like that? In the two hey, oh yeah,
and yeah, it happened. I don't get all out of
here that. Please come on Good Morning.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
The Big Show's on the radio, and more Big Show
right around the corner.
Speaker 13 (14:43):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit. I
like listening to John Boy and Billy and they're Big Show.
I like the way they talk. We're funny ha ha,
not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow, I figured
out what good boy has a hard time getting started
in the morning. Ain't gotten the gaze.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
It was something that I could do.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
You're challenging the world.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Are you doing?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I'm trying to get as much attention as Selena Gomez
for crying on the air about those poor legal immigrants.
The rape, Yes, the murderers.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
You know, I don't think those are the ones she
was crying about.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But yeah, she kind of made it about.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Her, if you know.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Oh yeah, boy, Well that's the last thing I'll ever do.
All No, it's making about her. Now now back to me,
All right, fine, don't worry about it. I thought I
was finished with Sulu, but Astro Nerd says he's got
some good but he's got some.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Materials blowing out.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
You won't work on that later Big Show rolls home,
Good morning, Big Shows. All the radio ard hang on.
Let ast Nerd have a couple of minutes. Well, we
get ready to play wordy word and the prize pack
one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bullsnot cleaning products
made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America moving and
(16:56):
bullsnot make sure they look good doing it. But that
our last contest, it was a truck driver winning the bullsnut.
So I love it how it works out like that,
bull snots at truck stops across America. Also, you can
click on that banner at the Big Show dot com. Ahi,
we should play for it in Mills. Okay, astro Nerd,
it's you.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
It's nice to see Star Trek back in syndication, the
real Star Trek with Kirk and Spock, not the other
versions where they got all politically correct and the enterprise
looked like a TGI Friday's Rush and they always wanted
to talk to the aliens rather than vaporize them with
their Reagan right. Yeah, and while Star Trek was still
(17:41):
cutting edge, I think they stopped too soon. The producer
said that they ran out of material, but how could
that be. I've come up with some ideas myself, the
stuff they could have done. Let me perch on at
the misprint. Let me preach on it. Cobby, you're gonna
have to be a little faster that snare drummer. I'm
(18:01):
gonna let Tater do it again. Here's some of the
ideas I come up with for Star Trek. The Enterprise
runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it
has encountered many times before, with no adverse effects whatsoever.
(18:28):
The crew of the Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists,
and not one of them has gone mad. That would
be the last thing you'd expect. Where's Jackie's here?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
We gotta go through this, I said, Everybody stays in.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
I sent her out there to move traffic.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, excuse me, Master Nerd back the end.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
I'll point to you, and could you make your life
a little higher? Like another girl in the room. Some
of the crew takes shore leave and has a wonderful time.
The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life form,
(19:20):
which later turns out to be a rather well known
old life form, wearing a different hat, perhaps one with
a propeller. The crew of the Enterprise are struck down
by a mysterious plague, the only cure for which can
be found in the ship's well stocked stick base. The Enterprise.
(19:46):
Have you got a minute? The Enterprise successfully escorts an
alien VIP from one place to another without serious incidents. Marcy,
would you come over here and put Cobby up on
the counter so he can see when I quille him.
(20:08):
The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence,
which does not put them on trial, see because usually, yeah,
almost every time, Yeah, the Enterprises. This is more y'all
speed Okay. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior
(20:30):
alien intelligence, which they quickly pacify with chocolate and trimming.
That's good, Cobby, that's the one I want. Yeah, yeah,
this is going a lot better than The Enterprise visits
(20:51):
an earth like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy
all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to
be exactly what it appears to be. A major starfleet emergency,
Geene Roddenberry, are you listing? A major starfleet emergency breaks
(21:12):
out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in
the area are able to deal with it. To everyone's satisfaction.
Kirk falls in love with a woman on a planet
he visits and isn't tragically separated from her at the end,
but they agree they should just be good friends. When
(21:38):
the warp engines have you got him on the delay?
When the warp engines malfunction, Scotty has plenty of time
and dilisium crystals to solve the problem. A landing party
returns from a hostile planet surface having suffered no casualties
(21:59):
or life wrecking injuries among the extra during a freak
space storm, Sulu Warren's crew members not to use the transporter,
but they do it anyway with no problems. Whatsoever?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Is this stuff that should happen? What was the set
up so long ago? I forgot?
Speaker 5 (22:20):
These are ideas I've got for other Star trek epis.
I'll go back to page one. Spock gives his trademark
hands signed and coins one of the most memorable catchphrases
in television history, Look what I can do?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Look what?
Speaker 5 (22:44):
And finally page four, after a lengthy analysis, that's discovered
that doctor McCoy is in fact a doctor and not
a mind ring and the lift and the Lift got
on live on and take care of your writing.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Adam, I just shoot me.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Resterner Okay, says had the word. Thing's good.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Now we're ready to play worthy word one eight hundred
big shows your toll free line across America. We got
a couple of contestants play.
Speaker 14 (23:23):
Next Good morning, and that's a big shaw a radio
(23:50):
for your mondays.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Have you every third?
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Am, I see the gad.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Today's sweet your track from the big show bo you know,
actually did it? What Murray?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Our agent's got all about Sherman's screenplays selling his nephew.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Morning's helping us.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
But that's all right.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
We love him like our folks or something like that.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Screenplay keywork was selling the sizzle at the makeshow dot com.
Speaker 6 (24:17):
What el says?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
What happens when you click out on their contest button
you can't get through?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
We'll call you.
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Listen to everybody's head about the bad.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
The wordy word and a wordy word. Let's meet the contestants.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
We got marked from Hampstead, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Good morning, Mark morning, John Boy, first down caller.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
All right, welcome in here, buddy, stay close to the
Atlantic ocean down.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
There, Mark, right right close to rights.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
Will be.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
You got that? All right, we'll meet me and Mark.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Let's meet Tater's teammatee oh, that's Matthew out of Drake's
branch for Rginia.
Speaker 13 (24:59):
Good morning, Matthew, good morning, how y'all doing, first time caller?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Hey man? All right, get that Matthew too. All right,
Mark and Matthew, two of the apostles. Here's all right.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
All right, Mark man, okay, boy, let's say we do so, Matthew,
you and Tator relax. Let's see what me and Mark
can put on the board. Okay, all right, Jason Brass here, Mark,
are you.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Ready, buddy?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Ready man, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
All right, start the clock now. The stoplight color means go.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah. Uh huh. The opposite of hard is.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
The guy that brings the ball down court is the
blank guard.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
The opposite of light load is a blank load.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Yeah. Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You must be a vip A very what person, very important?
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
The opposite of tate is yeah the boy my way
to go on that six the boar?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
All right, come on, date day you Matthew do a sixth?
Matthew you readybody? Yes, we are, okay, okay, and.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
Go a cardinal is one a peacock? What are they up?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yes?
Speaker 15 (26:33):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (26:33):
You when you you work for yourself, you go into
blank for yourself. I own a small you know a
small blank day. Yes, it's better than good.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
It's this.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
No, frosted flakes are great.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
You live in the U.
Speaker 11 (26:50):
S A.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
That is your what?
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Yes, the opposite of week?
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yes, how right? Good work.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Oh you put a five on the board to keep
this game, and it's six to five after round one.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
All right, margare, let's see what we can do for two?
Are you better? Run out of words?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
There is?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Okay? All right, okay, Mark, we go starting to clock. Now,
my mom and daddy, brother and sister, that is my family. Yeah,
uh huh. You gotta pay me with cash? Pay me?
What do you call it? How much blank? Have you
got cash? Money? Money? Money? Blank? Absorbers on your car?
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Yeah, uh huh?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
A blank state a test blank scientists used. Put this
in a test blank? Yeah, uh huh the opposite. Okay,
this is like somebody's.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Like, I'm gonna leave it.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yeah, that was good work, buddy. Four on the six
ten for Mark. All right, Tady, you and Matthew need
what five? Yeah? Just another five, we'll tie the score
and force overtime.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Okay, all right, Matthew, and go all right.
Speaker 6 (28:12):
If you're always tripping and dropping stuff, people might say
you're very this calamity change. You go, you go shooting,
you go hunting with one of these. Yes, this is
not permanent. The opposite of permanent is like a like
a cap. You get one of these from the dentist,
and then your cap comes in. You have a blank filling.
(28:35):
It's just just there for a short time. You work here. No,
you work for a short time. You're just I'm gonna
stay with you for a short time.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
The word was temporary. Yeah, temporary was a word I
was giving that next ten to seven. I just got
to give them the bill because they get it.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No, he did well, Matthew up Drake's Branch. We appreciate you, buddy.
Want you to try again.
Speaker 12 (29:05):
Okay, yeah, man, every time, can I give a shout out?
Speaker 16 (29:09):
You go ahead, Yeah, I want to give a shout
out to Drake's Branch.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Elderly apartment.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Drake's branch, what what department? Elderly elderly department. Okay, yes,
old people, yeah, yeah, I'm familiar.
Speaker 6 (29:24):
With the elderly he's in a room full of them,
said department or apartments?
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Oh did he say apartments? Apartments? Apartments?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Okay, yeah, I got you, all right, Drake's branch elderly,
all right, right, shout out all right, buddy, Well let's
uh and Mark over Hampstead, look at you. We were
on the same wavelength on that deal. You got your
boss not headed your way?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Great minds think alike.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
You know, Mark, you ain't on my boy unless you
want to give a shout out right quick?
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I want? Can I give a shout out to my grandson?
Speaker 17 (30:00):
And he's the reason I'm on here today.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
He's got you on seed dial every morning.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
I'll until you go into school.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
You know it has turned around, useless granddad turning on
the kid to the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
What's your grandson's name?
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Again?
Speaker 16 (30:16):
He's a boy?
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Oh justin.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Ru running you all down there this spring?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
When when we get back out and can hurt some fish,
don't you get.
Speaker 17 (30:27):
A liv him?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Many? My boy? Hang on the morning, got the Big
Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Is big request time we got Scott Frederick's out of Greer,
South Carolina said, how about the grumpy old man hating
sex education?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
We can do this I found it. Go right, they
just got it coming up next.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Good mornin. Big Shoe is on the radio. Wow, one
of the grossest ones. I'm saying something here for this pardhip.
Just go ahead and put your breakfast aside. Blaming on
Scott Frederick's South Carolina. This is his big show, requests.
Speaker 16 (31:37):
Liberty flu I'm old and I hate six education. In
my day, we didn't have no pointy head, intellectual jabbering,
blow up doll fondling dirty movies showing closet fruity cake
sense education teachers. We learned about the intricacy of intimacy
(32:00):
the old fashioned way from Wars. We didn't have them
painted up boatox puffy plastic booby hoochy mamas that you
see on the Jersey shore.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
We had real women. Brother.
Speaker 16 (32:18):
They had dirty, stringy hair that smelled like year old
egg noon. They had yellow, snaggy teeth that looked like
bob wire with chunks of last night stew hanging there
like wet wash on the clothesline. They were bow legged,
wal eyed, and had hooters that looked like the pancakes
special and eyehop on. Their backs were covered with white
(32:44):
heads and moles on their faces with hair sticking out
of them that was longer than their mustaches.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
And those were the purty ones.
Speaker 16 (32:55):
They'd served generations of the town's horny, ignorant backwardons. They
had more miles on them than Obama's golf cardo. They
had more diseases than an NBA team. And two weeks
after doing the hibbit egibbitty with Henry and a hooker,
your privates looked like an egg plant and you started
(33:16):
having conversations with fence posts and trying to kill the
flies on your head with a hammer. You'd either die
foaming at the mouth, or you'd wake up one morning
looking like a Barbie doll from the waist down.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
WHOOPTI dang did he do? Look at me? I'm an
illiterate hillbilly horn dog playing pre.
Speaker 16 (33:35):
Marin opogo stick with a lazy eyed human petrie dish
past the syrup.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I'm having boobies for breakfast.
Speaker 5 (33:43):
Glory be.
Speaker 16 (33:44):
It's the age of Aquarius, and we like it. We
loved it, and we didn't need no high for louten
ivy league pinhead professor to school us on.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
The birdies and the bees.
Speaker 16 (33:59):
We had our own genius of the g spot loopy
Old Humpback Hendrick, the town pimp. He taught us everything
we needed to know about getting dizzy from getting busy.
Humpback was crazy as a bed bug from having untreated
syphilis for twenty odd years, and he leaked like a
plumber's nightmare. He got his hunch backed by always bending
(34:23):
over the peak through the keyhole, and his right arm
was as big as a horse's leg. He owned every
house of ill repute in the county, but he was
still dirt poor because all we had to pay him
with was chickens and manure. And if you didn't have
any bird or turn to buy you some love and
with he lets you have your away with the livestock.
(34:44):
And before you knew it, you were the proud papa
of a race of mutant pig boys and hidious sheep girls.
And surprise, surprise, they'd all start to inbreed because we
was in the South, and in the blink of your
one good eye you'd be up to your giblets and
half human pig sheep and sheep pigs, and then you'd
go insane trying to decide if you wanted to eat
(35:07):
them or send them the pre school. Wobbledy Bobbledy Google
d look at me. I'm a graduate of Professor Drippy
School for perverts.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
My cap and gown is covered.
Speaker 16 (35:19):
With feathers and poop. I can't wait to get home
and let the children out to graze. It's an age
of medical miracles, hallelujah.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
And we like it.
Speaker 18 (35:32):
We loved it, Oh sex Education. All right here, you
(36:04):
made a wrapper up here.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
On a Monday morning, Mars, we head towards the big
game on a TV this Sunday with expensive commercials on.
Speaker 6 (36:17):
A network near you.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
That way, we'll hit it.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Right down in our featured track from the Big Show,
Big Box. This keyword is screenplay called to our agent.
Speaker 11 (36:29):
Hello, right, Hotel Incorporated?
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Hi, is this mister Pestel?
Speaker 11 (36:34):
No?
Speaker 1 (36:35):
This yeah, John boy, Billy here I sail. You sound
a little out of breath this morning to.
Speaker 11 (36:40):
Say the truth. I was just walking the door. That's
the phone ringing. I was out kind of late last
night with Murray's nephew, Sherman.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Oh, Sherman's in town.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Huh so you you two spending a lot of time together.
Speaker 11 (36:52):
We're just putting it mildly. We've been out every night
for the last week and a half. I've been in
a side constantly ever since he walked in the door
and said those three little words.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Three what three little words?
Speaker 11 (37:05):
Murry's my uncle.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Still trying to get that raised, he promised you.
Speaker 11 (37:13):
Yeah, how could you tell?
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Well, I've seen Sherman. Oh so you knew it couldn't
be loved exactly. So anyways, Murray ann he's marginally here. No, no,
I mean is he there?
Speaker 11 (37:22):
Hold on, I'll pat him for you.
Speaker 17 (37:23):
Thank you, may Hey, Yeah, thank you, Zillo.
Speaker 15 (37:35):
Murray love you. Yeah, Hey, Mabe, are you sitting down?
Speaker 6 (37:38):
Uh?
Speaker 15 (37:38):
Huh, this is big. My nephew Sherman's in town. He's
been working on some screenplays. Huh. I've just looked them
on the Jimbo. These are all home lines here. Hollywood
is gonna eat these scripts up, and I believe one
of them gets produced Red Hottawlent incorporated. While the inside
track on casting for the movie.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
You know what that means, I sure do.
Speaker 15 (38:01):
Hundreds of firm, leggy young actresses in the skin tight
leather miniskirts will do almost anything to break in the Mollys.
I tell you, this is gonna be the biggest score
of my entire career.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Hy Murray, is there a place in it for us?
Speaker 15 (38:13):
For sure? You can come down and look at the
girl's tone.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
No, no, no, what about parts for us?
Speaker 15 (38:19):
I don't know, Jimbo, how do you look in a
skin tight leather miniskirt?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Forget the leather miniskirts? Hey tell us about some of
these screenplay sureman's come up with?
Speaker 15 (38:27):
Okay, dig this concept. A scientist uses fossilized DNA to
clone a dinosaur for a new theme part, but the
dinosaur dies before the financing is in place, so he
and a friend carry the dead dinosaur around to show
to the moneyman. And here's the kicker. Nobody knows he's dead.
It's called weekend at Barney's. Or a scientist cross this
(38:52):
dinosaur DNA and pig DNA and opens up a restaurant
that sys up giant barbecue ribs in Jurassic Port. Or
I can't find the magic movie ticket, but instead of
ending up in Schwarzenegger's car, he accidentally gets a job
and a Greek restaurant in the Last Action Hero.
Speaker 12 (39:12):
Or I don't reverse your bubble, but I don't know
if Hollywood's gonna go for any of those ideas.
Speaker 15 (39:19):
Man, are you kidding? Cop and a half, Burt Reynolds
and some eight year old black kids if that got
the green light? Anything besides, I think I know what
this is all about. You're worried that if red hot
talent breaks into the movie business, I'll put you guys
on the back burner that I won't lavish the generous
loving attention on your careers that I do now. Well,
(39:42):
don't let him wear you, babe. You are still my
number one guys. Kings of my heel, toss of my heat,
numeral owners on my l listo or something on this
Nothing is more important to me than the success of
hold on, babeigger name on. They have a lot Nastcar Greg,
I'll call him my fast Oh.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Nest Car, Yeah yeah, Nestcar. Hi Murray? What what did
Nascar Greg say? He said, give that's Billy Jim?
Speaker 4 (40:15):
What toll me?
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Bit box is here all your favorites from four decades
and Big Show ninety nine says he's fifteen for nine
ninety nine by him once play you manywhere shopping blitbox
online at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Order Big Show Stuff I follow.
Speaker 8 (40:28):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one.
Stuff online services by animing dot com.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
This is any big show today, Don't let that happen.
TuS it up, John Obill and Late Rossers podcast Man.
Wherever you get your podcasting, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free iHeartRadio app ai.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Hey, rest your days, you own tomorrow. Love you mane
it
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It's a big show on the radio without feature track
from the Big Show bit box. Don't mind our agent Murray.
It's all about Sherman screenplays. If his nephew's got the talent,
he worn't screenplay the big Box at the Big Show,
Dot coming out. Let's play Pete the Blonde, got our blonde?
(00:54):
Now a get our contested? David had a Lufkin Texas.
Good morning, Dave is.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hey, good morning, John Boy. How y'all doing that?
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Man?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We awe somebody welcome in here? By David, you will
ask t there's some questions. You agree or disagree, Get
two bests for two buzzers, and you get the gold prize.
Pack a buddy a jump in there and take tape.
According to a famous dress designer, a dress should be
(01:26):
tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough
to show what.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
That you're affordable adable. Don't make me think that you
are adventurous, that you are adventurous. What do you say, David,
Agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Well, I guess I'm gonna agree.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Gonna agree with the adventurous for a loose dress. Ah
really does have that many dresses you don't know tight
enough to show you're a woman, and loose enough to
show that you.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Are a lady. She didn't have a chance to do
that much either, adventurous.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Because like your clothes wouldn't be too never mind, I
won't quit thinking about it.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
You know, you want to go on a bike ride,
you know, unless.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
They when you get David a bell here to keep alive?
All right, africod crocodiles. All right, you often lie in
the sun and let birds fly into their mouths.
Speaker 6 (02:41):
Why, well, of course, if you let them fly to
the other end, it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I don't even know where that is. The other end
around there somewhere.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Birds fly in the mouth of the alligator. Why do
they let them do that?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Well, the birds like to pick the food out of
their teeth.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Wow, alligator lets the bird pick food out of his teeth.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
David agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Well, I kind of agree. I think they clean their
whole mouth every time. But yeah, inside, okay, I so
agree with that.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, they flying and pick the teeth whatever else food's
lying around in there? Okay, good word? All right, don
see what happens here, Tanner. Let's go to polar bears.
Oh my wheelhouse yeah, although polar bears are very good
(03:42):
at it, they usually only use their front feet to
do it.
Speaker 7 (03:49):
Do what well, I mean that's the only way they
can reach it. I don't know, no nose.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Oh, it's front feet to swim.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
To swim, all holder bears use their front feet to swim. David,
agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I agree?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, they prefer to paddle using just their front Paul's
dragging their back feet alone for ze.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Sounds like a John Boy Bear brother dead work.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
There, y'all, So David, you hang on, We'll get you
a prize pack down the luft can bodyngratulation, Yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Can I give a quick shout out?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
You go ahead, y'all.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Want to thank all my guys that work for me
at Quality Renovation, And I want to thank you and
your morning crew for making our short drive enjoyable every morning.
And I want to give a shout out to all
my good friends down here, specially Michael Habard and his family.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Hello, Rah, David, appreciate you and your crew. Listening to
the big show. All right, let's jump out, catch you
up on your news. Sulu Mania is what.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
We started last week.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
We'll try to finish it right on the other's side.
(05:47):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio well a
Jana Sulu's ears. After that took off, of course, John
Connery before he passed away, moved on to host Jeopardy,
and Szulu went into the recordings to go this is
at Psulu Mania. I was talking about turn it up.
Speaker 8 (06:30):
Captain Kirk and all us other guys. We're all aboard
Starship Enterprise. When mister Spock said, hey, Jim, let's go
out and get some trip. He said, hey Jim, he
could walk on the wild sack. He said, hey, Bart,
(06:51):
they could walk from the wilds act Scotty beamed him
down two tallows four somewhere they had never been before.
(07:13):
Captain Kirk made the scene, meant this baby and she
was green. She said, hey Captain, he could walk from
the wild side. She said, hey Kirk, he could walk
from the wild side.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
And the Captain goes, do you do? Do you do? Do you?
You do? You? You do? Do you do you You
do you? You do? You do? You do you do
you do? You do you do you do?
Speaker 7 (07:37):
Do you?
Speaker 9 (07:37):
Doo do doo doo doo do doo doo do doo
doo doo do doo doo do doo doo do do
do do do do doo doo doo.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Do do.
Speaker 8 (07:56):
Mystery Spot never once showed emotion until he hit the
space bar looking for some local motion. You found the
best girl he could find. Went out of his bulking mind, said, hey, baby,
take a walk on the wild side. She said, hayespot,
(08:16):
take a walk on the wild side.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
All right.
Speaker 8 (08:29):
Doctor McCoy really had a jones, said hey, hey baby,
what do you think they call me?
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Bones?
Speaker 8 (08:38):
Scotty sat there looking sour, said.
Speaker 10 (08:41):
Botty, God, I can't got no power.
Speaker 8 (08:43):
Said hey, Bones, take a walk on the wild side.
She said, hey, Scotty, take a walk on the wild side.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
And the captain goes, do you do you? Do you?
Speaker 11 (08:54):
Do? You?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Did you do you? Did you? Did you? Did you?
You did you? Did you? You you? You did you?
Did you did you?
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Doo doo doo doo do doo doo do do do
do do doo doo doo doo do do doo doo
doo doo doo do do.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Do Good minding my on the big shows already? Why
(10:02):
go one?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That one right there, That's all that's all.
Speaker 10 (10:06):
I readly knew it was this when I here, good morning,
John Boy, Bill ad Randy Jackie with her girl reddend
ernestly say said, hell, you know, I had an invitation
to speak at the Rotary Club at the monthly meeting
last week. They asked me to speak because the topic
was gonna be a biblical look at the topic of
sex and marriage. Well, I was very flatter that they
(10:28):
asked me to speak. I did a little Bible study,
prepared a very carefully research look at sex in the
context of the marriage relationship. But now, to tell you
the truth, my wife, you know, she pretty old fashioned,
and she find she's kind of screaming about the subject
of sex in general, and especially screaming about he.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
About me talking about it than public.
Speaker 10 (10:47):
So I told her I won't give her a speech
to the Rotary Club, honey, And she said, what's it about.
I said, well, is it gonna be about the horseback riding?
She said, horseback riding?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I said yeah.
Speaker 10 (10:57):
So a couple of days later, some of the guys
from the club ran into Missus Sinseil over at the mall.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
They walked up and said, well, man.
Speaker 10 (11:04):
We sure did enjoy Reverend and He's talk this week.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
She said, say you did that kind of surprises me.
And they said, well, really, well, why is that?
Speaker 10 (11:13):
And she said, wow, Reverend, I don't know nothing at
all about that particular subject. I mean, he ain't done
it but twice. First time he was so soorry he
couldn't walk the next day, and the second time he
fell off and broke his leg. What's up with that now, lisdien, Jimmy,
let's keep it going for your headline of hair. He is, yeah,
he's good.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
You you.
Speaker 12 (11:34):
And the congregation said, alrighty, hey, I got a true
story hair about about about a guy and a wife
and it involved.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Said already, we don't believe.
Speaker 12 (11:46):
I have been wanting the kid for a long time, fighting.
The wife is pregnant, getting ready to give birth.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
That is there.
Speaker 12 (11:51):
The hospital rope comes out. Bow, ain't nothing but a head,
that it is. That's right, what big handed down, No
torso or LEXI nothing. White Dash still loved that son,
that big oldhead, and raised him with love all his life.
When it come time he turned twenty one, Dad took
him to the bar. He's all right, son, type you
first drake hit her into bad hood. All the bar
(12:11):
patriots was looking over the bartender alight, he go bade
a strong drake. Boy took a gump, bam, a body
popped out way oh again did the bar dead silent,
and then burst into a whoop of joy. The father
he shocked a whoop of joy, and he begs us say.
He says, have another drake. The patriots are chatting, take
(12:32):
another drink, taking another drake. Bartender back there, you're shaking
his head this way swoop, two arms pop out.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Another whoop of joy.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
In the bar going wild.
Speaker 12 (12:41):
Another daddy was crying and waiting, begs his son take
another drake, on by you and take another drake. That bartender,
he's a nord. The whole affair by now. Boy getting
a little tipsy with his new heads. He reaches down,
grabs his drink, guzzles the last of it. Bam, bam,
two legs pop out. Heartble ain't but true. The bars
and chaos. The father's so thankful. Oh yeah, several walks of.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Joy right there.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
When the boy stands, I'm on his new legs. He
stumbles to the left, then to.
Speaker 12 (13:10):
The right, right through the front door into the street,
where a truck runs into him and kills him down
on the spot.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
The bar falls silent. The father bodes in grief.
Speaker 12 (13:21):
That bartender cleans his glasses and whistles and old irish
too that dad and looks a bartender said, how can
you be so cold and callous? Bartender looks up and
said that boy should have quit while he's a head.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
And then day.
Speaker 12 (13:36):
Morning if they got over hey, and she got pregnant again?
I you definitely what happened another head? I don't believe
had another head? And for well, here we go again.
He's thankful just to have him with the other hand,
but it's old. He wasn't really a dice boy and
good with like the other one. Wee he's just wide
and could play what thankful about nothing?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
They being there?
Speaker 10 (13:55):
He ain't gonna get lucky.
Speaker 12 (13:56):
Twice it was Christmas morning and he comes out white
and firely comes in there.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Dad plops him down, said, well, don't you want to hope?
Do you present? It's Christmas morning? Said what for? What
is it?
Speaker 5 (14:08):
Another hat?
Speaker 4 (14:12):
What?
Speaker 10 (14:13):
That story had the same mile as the last one?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
What was it? You should have quit?
Speaker 5 (14:17):
Why you was Whyn't you talking to me?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's strange like that? In the two hey, oh yeah,
and yeah, it happened. I don't get all out of
here that. Please come on Good Morning.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
The Big Show's on the radio, and more Big Show
right around the corner.
Speaker 13 (14:43):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit. I
like listening to John Boy and Billy and they're Big Show.
I like the way they talk. We're funny ha ha,
not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow, I figured
out what good boy has a hard time getting started
in the morning. Ain't gotten the gaze.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
It was something that I could do.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
You're challenging the world.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Are you doing?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I'm trying to get as much attention as Selena Gomez
for crying on the air about those poor legal immigrants.
The rape, Yes, the murderers.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
You know, I don't think those are the ones she
was crying about.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But yeah, she kind of made it about.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Her, if you know.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Oh yeah, boy, Well that's the last thing I'll ever do.
All No, it's making about her. Now now back to me,
All right, fine, don't worry about it. I thought I
was finished with Sulu, but Astro Nerd says he's got
some good but he's got some.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Materials blowing out.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
You won't work on that later Big Show rolls home,
Good morning, Big Shows. All the radio ard hang on.
Let ast Nerd have a couple of minutes. Well, we
get ready to play wordy word and the prize pack
one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bullsnot cleaning products
made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America moving and
(16:56):
bullsnot make sure they look good doing it. But that
our last contest, it was a truck driver winning the bullsnut.
So I love it how it works out like that,
bull snots at truck stops across America. Also, you can
click on that banner at the Big Show dot com. Ahi,
we should play for it in Mills. Okay, astro Nerd,
it's you.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
It's nice to see Star Trek back in syndication, the
real Star Trek with Kirk and Spock, not the other
versions where they got all politically correct and the enterprise
looked like a TGI Friday's Rush and they always wanted
to talk to the aliens rather than vaporize them with
their Reagan right. Yeah, and while Star Trek was still
(17:41):
cutting edge, I think they stopped too soon. The producer
said that they ran out of material, but how could
that be. I've come up with some ideas myself, the
stuff they could have done. Let me perch on at
the misprint. Let me preach on it. Cobby, you're gonna
have to be a little faster that snare drummer. I'm
(18:01):
gonna let Tater do it again. Here's some of the
ideas I come up with for Star Trek. The Enterprise
runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it
has encountered many times before, with no adverse effects whatsoever.
(18:28):
The crew of the Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists,
and not one of them has gone mad. That would
be the last thing you'd expect. Where's Jackie's here?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
We gotta go through this, I said, Everybody stays in.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
I sent her out there to move traffic.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, excuse me, Master Nerd back the end.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
I'll point to you, and could you make your life
a little higher? Like another girl in the room. Some
of the crew takes shore leave and has a wonderful time.
The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life form,
(19:20):
which later turns out to be a rather well known
old life form, wearing a different hat, perhaps one with
a propeller. The crew of the Enterprise are struck down
by a mysterious plague, the only cure for which can
be found in the ship's well stocked stick base. The Enterprise.
(19:46):
Have you got a minute? The Enterprise successfully escorts an
alien VIP from one place to another without serious incidents. Marcy,
would you come over here and put Cobby up on
the counter so he can see when I quille him.
(20:08):
The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence,
which does not put them on trial, see because usually, yeah,
almost every time, Yeah, the Enterprises. This is more y'all
speed Okay. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior
(20:30):
alien intelligence, which they quickly pacify with chocolate and trimming.
That's good, Cobby, that's the one I want. Yeah, yeah,
this is going a lot better than The Enterprise visits
(20:51):
an earth like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy
all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to
be exactly what it appears to be. A major starfleet emergency,
Geene Roddenberry, are you listing? A major starfleet emergency breaks
(21:12):
out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in
the area are able to deal with it. To everyone's satisfaction.
Kirk falls in love with a woman on a planet
he visits and isn't tragically separated from her at the end,
but they agree they should just be good friends. When
(21:38):
the warp engines have you got him on the delay?
When the warp engines malfunction, Scotty has plenty of time
and dilisium crystals to solve the problem. A landing party
returns from a hostile planet surface having suffered no casualties
(21:59):
or life wrecking injuries among the extra during a freak
space storm, Sulu Warren's crew members not to use the transporter,
but they do it anyway with no problems. Whatsoever?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Is this stuff that should happen? What was the set
up so long ago? I forgot?
Speaker 5 (22:20):
These are ideas I've got for other Star trek epis.
I'll go back to page one. Spock gives his trademark
hands signed and coins one of the most memorable catchphrases
in television history, Look what I can do?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Look what?
Speaker 5 (22:44):
And finally page four, after a lengthy analysis, that's discovered
that doctor McCoy is in fact a doctor and not
a mind ring and the lift and the Lift got
on live on and take care of your writing.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Adam, I just shoot me.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Resterner Okay, says had the word. Thing's good.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Now we're ready to play worthy word one eight hundred
big shows your toll free line across America. We got
a couple of contestants play.
Speaker 14 (23:23):
Next Good morning, and that's a big shaw a radio
(23:50):
for your mondays.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Have you every third?
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Am, I see the gad.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Today's sweet your track from the big show bo you know,
actually did it? What Murray?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Our agent's got all about Sherman's screenplays selling his nephew.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Morning's helping us.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
But that's all right.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
We love him like our folks or something like that.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Screenplay keywork was selling the sizzle at the makeshow dot com.
Speaker 6 (24:17):
What el says?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
What happens when you click out on their contest button
you can't get through?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
We'll call you.
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Listen to everybody's head about the bad.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
The wordy word and a wordy word. Let's meet the contestants.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
We got marked from Hampstead, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Good morning, Mark morning, John Boy, first down caller.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
All right, welcome in here, buddy, stay close to the
Atlantic ocean down.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
There, Mark, right right close to rights.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
Will be.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
You got that? All right, we'll meet me and Mark.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Let's meet Tater's teammatee oh, that's Matthew out of Drake's
branch for Rginia.
Speaker 13 (24:59):
Good morning, Matthew, good morning, how y'all doing, first time caller?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Hey man? All right, get that Matthew too. All right,
Mark and Matthew, two of the apostles. Here's all right.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
All right, Mark man, okay, boy, let's say we do so, Matthew,
you and Tator relax. Let's see what me and Mark
can put on the board. Okay, all right, Jason Brass here, Mark,
are you.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Ready, buddy?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Ready man, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
All right, start the clock now. The stoplight color means go.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah. Uh huh. The opposite of hard is.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
The guy that brings the ball down court is the
blank guard.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
The opposite of light load is a blank load.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Yeah. Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You must be a vip A very what person, very important?
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
The opposite of tate is yeah the boy my way
to go on that six the boar?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
All right, come on, date day you Matthew do a sixth?
Matthew you readybody? Yes, we are, okay, okay, and.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
Go a cardinal is one a peacock? What are they up?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yes?
Speaker 15 (26:33):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (26:33):
You when you you work for yourself, you go into
blank for yourself. I own a small you know a
small blank day. Yes, it's better than good.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
It's this.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
No, frosted flakes are great.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
You live in the U.
Speaker 11 (26:50):
S A.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
That is your what?
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Yes, the opposite of week?
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yes, how right? Good work.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Oh you put a five on the board to keep
this game, and it's six to five after round one.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
All right, margare, let's see what we can do for two?
Are you better? Run out of words?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
There is?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Okay? All right, okay, Mark, we go starting to clock. Now,
my mom and daddy, brother and sister, that is my family. Yeah,
uh huh. You gotta pay me with cash? Pay me?
What do you call it? How much blank? Have you
got cash? Money? Money? Money? Blank? Absorbers on your car?
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Yeah, uh huh?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
A blank state a test blank scientists used. Put this
in a test blank? Yeah, uh huh the opposite. Okay,
this is like somebody's.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Like, I'm gonna leave it.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yeah, that was good work, buddy. Four on the six
ten for Mark. All right, Tady, you and Matthew need
what five? Yeah? Just another five, we'll tie the score
and force overtime.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Okay, all right, Matthew, and go all right.
Speaker 6 (28:12):
If you're always tripping and dropping stuff, people might say
you're very this calamity change. You go, you go shooting,
you go hunting with one of these. Yes, this is
not permanent. The opposite of permanent is like a like
a cap. You get one of these from the dentist,
and then your cap comes in. You have a blank filling.
(28:35):
It's just just there for a short time. You work here. No,
you work for a short time. You're just I'm gonna
stay with you for a short time.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
The word was temporary. Yeah, temporary was a word I
was giving that next ten to seven. I just got
to give them the bill because they get it.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No, he did well, Matthew up Drake's Branch. We appreciate you, buddy.
Want you to try again.
Speaker 12 (29:05):
Okay, yeah, man, every time, can I give a shout out?
Speaker 16 (29:09):
You go ahead, Yeah, I want to give a shout
out to Drake's Branch.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Elderly apartment.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Drake's branch, what what department? Elderly elderly department. Okay, yes,
old people, yeah, yeah, I'm familiar.
Speaker 6 (29:24):
With the elderly he's in a room full of them,
said department or apartments?
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Oh did he say apartments? Apartments? Apartments?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Okay, yeah, I got you, all right, Drake's branch elderly,
all right, right, shout out all right, buddy, Well let's
uh and Mark over Hampstead, look at you. We were
on the same wavelength on that deal. You got your
boss not headed your way?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Great minds think alike.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
You know, Mark, you ain't on my boy unless you
want to give a shout out right quick?
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I want? Can I give a shout out to my grandson?
Speaker 17 (30:00):
And he's the reason I'm on here today.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
He's got you on seed dial every morning.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
I'll until you go into school.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
You know it has turned around, useless granddad turning on
the kid to the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
What's your grandson's name?
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Again?
Speaker 16 (30:16):
He's a boy?
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Oh justin.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Ru running you all down there this spring?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
When when we get back out and can hurt some fish,
don't you get.
Speaker 17 (30:27):
A liv him?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Many? My boy? Hang on the morning, got the Big
Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Is big request time we got Scott Frederick's out of Greer,
South Carolina said, how about the grumpy old man hating
sex education?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
We can do this I found it. Go right, they
just got it coming up next.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Good mornin. Big Shoe is on the radio. Wow, one
of the grossest ones. I'm saying something here for this pardhip.
Just go ahead and put your breakfast aside. Blaming on
Scott Frederick's South Carolina. This is his big show, requests.
Speaker 16 (31:37):
Liberty flu I'm old and I hate six education. In
my day, we didn't have no pointy head, intellectual jabbering,
blow up doll fondling dirty movies showing closet fruity cake
sense education teachers. We learned about the intricacy of intimacy
(32:00):
the old fashioned way from Wars. We didn't have them
painted up boatox puffy plastic booby hoochy mamas that you
see on the Jersey shore.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
We had real women. Brother.
Speaker 16 (32:18):
They had dirty, stringy hair that smelled like year old
egg noon. They had yellow, snaggy teeth that looked like
bob wire with chunks of last night stew hanging there
like wet wash on the clothesline. They were bow legged,
wal eyed, and had hooters that looked like the pancakes
special and eyehop on. Their backs were covered with white
(32:44):
heads and moles on their faces with hair sticking out
of them that was longer than their mustaches.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
And those were the purty ones.
Speaker 16 (32:55):
They'd served generations of the town's horny, ignorant backwardons. They
had more miles on them than Obama's golf cardo. They
had more diseases than an NBA team. And two weeks
after doing the hibbit egibbitty with Henry and a hooker,
your privates looked like an egg plant and you started
(33:16):
having conversations with fence posts and trying to kill the
flies on your head with a hammer. You'd either die
foaming at the mouth, or you'd wake up one morning
looking like a Barbie doll from the waist down.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
WHOOPTI dang did he do? Look at me? I'm an
illiterate hillbilly horn dog playing pre.
Speaker 16 (33:35):
Marin opogo stick with a lazy eyed human petrie dish
past the syrup.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I'm having boobies for breakfast.
Speaker 5 (33:43):
Glory be.
Speaker 16 (33:44):
It's the age of Aquarius, and we like it. We
loved it, and we didn't need no high for louten
ivy league pinhead professor to school us on.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
The birdies and the bees.
Speaker 16 (33:59):
We had our own genius of the g spot loopy
Old Humpback Hendrick, the town pimp. He taught us everything
we needed to know about getting dizzy from getting busy.
Humpback was crazy as a bed bug from having untreated
syphilis for twenty odd years, and he leaked like a
plumber's nightmare. He got his hunch backed by always bending
(34:23):
over the peak through the keyhole, and his right arm
was as big as a horse's leg. He owned every
house of ill repute in the county, but he was
still dirt poor because all we had to pay him
with was chickens and manure. And if you didn't have
any bird or turn to buy you some love and
with he lets you have your away with the livestock.
(34:44):
And before you knew it, you were the proud papa
of a race of mutant pig boys and hidious sheep girls.
And surprise, surprise, they'd all start to inbreed because we
was in the South, and in the blink of your
one good eye you'd be up to your giblets and
half human pig sheep and sheep pigs, and then you'd
go insane trying to decide if you wanted to eat
(35:07):
them or send them the pre school. Wobbledy Bobbledy Google
d look at me. I'm a graduate of Professor Drippy
School for perverts.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
My cap and gown is covered.
Speaker 16 (35:19):
With feathers and poop. I can't wait to get home
and let the children out to graze. It's an age
of medical miracles, hallelujah.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
And we like it.
Speaker 18 (35:32):
We loved it, Oh sex Education. All right here, you
(36:04):
made a wrapper up here.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
On a Monday morning, Mars, we head towards the big
game on a TV this Sunday with expensive commercials on.
Speaker 6 (36:17):
A network near you.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
That way, we'll hit it.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Right down in our featured track from the Big Show,
Big Box. This keyword is screenplay called to our agent.
Speaker 11 (36:29):
Hello, right, Hotel Incorporated?
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Hi, is this mister Pestel?
Speaker 11 (36:34):
No?
Speaker 1 (36:35):
This yeah, John boy, Billy here I sail. You sound
a little out of breath this morning to.
Speaker 11 (36:40):
Say the truth. I was just walking the door. That's
the phone ringing. I was out kind of late last
night with Murray's nephew, Sherman.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Oh, Sherman's in town.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Huh so you you two spending a lot of time together.
Speaker 11 (36:52):
We're just putting it mildly. We've been out every night
for the last week and a half. I've been in
a side constantly ever since he walked in the door
and said those three little words.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Three what three little words?
Speaker 11 (37:05):
Murry's my uncle.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Still trying to get that raised, he promised you.
Speaker 11 (37:13):
Yeah, how could you tell?
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Well, I've seen Sherman. Oh so you knew it couldn't
be loved exactly. So anyways, Murray ann he's marginally here. No, no,
I mean is he there?
Speaker 11 (37:22):
Hold on, I'll pat him for you.
Speaker 17 (37:23):
Thank you, may Hey, Yeah, thank you, Zillo.
Speaker 15 (37:35):
Murray love you. Yeah, Hey, Mabe, are you sitting down?
Speaker 6 (37:38):
Uh?
Speaker 15 (37:38):
Huh, this is big. My nephew Sherman's in town. He's
been working on some screenplays. Huh. I've just looked them
on the Jimbo. These are all home lines here. Hollywood
is gonna eat these scripts up, and I believe one
of them gets produced Red Hottawlent incorporated. While the inside
track on casting for the movie.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
You know what that means, I sure do.
Speaker 15 (38:01):
Hundreds of firm, leggy young actresses in the skin tight
leather miniskirts will do almost anything to break in the Mollys.
I tell you, this is gonna be the biggest score
of my entire career.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Hy Murray, is there a place in it for us?
Speaker 15 (38:13):
For sure? You can come down and look at the
girl's tone.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
No, no, no, what about parts for us?
Speaker 15 (38:19):
I don't know, Jimbo, how do you look in a
skin tight leather miniskirt?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Forget the leather miniskirts? Hey tell us about some of
these screenplay sureman's come up with?
Speaker 15 (38:27):
Okay, dig this concept. A scientist uses fossilized DNA to
clone a dinosaur for a new theme part, but the
dinosaur dies before the financing is in place, so he
and a friend carry the dead dinosaur around to show
to the moneyman. And here's the kicker. Nobody knows he's dead.
It's called weekend at Barney's. Or a scientist cross this
(38:52):
dinosaur DNA and pig DNA and opens up a restaurant
that sys up giant barbecue ribs in Jurassic Port. Or
I can't find the magic movie ticket, but instead of
ending up in Schwarzenegger's car, he accidentally gets a job
and a Greek restaurant in the Last Action Hero.
Speaker 12 (39:12):
Or I don't reverse your bubble, but I don't know
if Hollywood's gonna go for any of those ideas.
Speaker 15 (39:19):
Man, are you kidding? Cop and a half, Burt Reynolds
and some eight year old black kids if that got
the green light? Anything besides, I think I know what
this is all about. You're worried that if red hot
talent breaks into the movie business, I'll put you guys
on the back burner that I won't lavish the generous
loving attention on your careers that I do now. Well,
(39:42):
don't let him wear you, babe. You are still my
number one guys. Kings of my heel, toss of my heat,
numeral owners on my l listo or something on this
Nothing is more important to me than the success of
hold on, babeigger name on. They have a lot Nastcar Greg,
I'll call him my fast Oh.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Nest Car, Yeah yeah, Nestcar. Hi Murray? What what did
Nascar Greg say? He said, give that's Billy Jim?
Speaker 4 (40:15):
What toll me?
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Bit box is here all your favorites from four decades
and Big Show ninety nine says he's fifteen for nine
ninety nine by him once play you manywhere shopping blitbox
online at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Order Big Show Stuff I follow.
Speaker 8 (40:28):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one.
Stuff online services by animing dot com.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
This is any big show today, Don't let that happen.
TuS it up, John Obill and Late Rossers podcast Man.
Wherever you get your podcasting, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free iHeartRadio app ai.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Hey, rest your days, you own tomorrow. Love you mane
it
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