November 17, 2025 • 37 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ve got too many Top 10’s and the ALL have to go!.. - Buckle up Top 10 fans - today is your day! - We’ve got Top 10’s dealing with: State Slogans - Viagra Ads - Pillars’ Big Mouth - Motel 6 - The T.S.A. - The State of Florida - and Motivational Posters.. - Also our latest John Boy & Billy Playhouse, a call from Hoyt and Mary Busey’s entry into the Diary of Gary Busey…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's a big show on the radio Monday morning. Your
feature track from the Big Show, Big Box, mad Max.
That's a big fat world after all key words, big
fat world. Here in the mid box at the Big
Show dot Com. Right out, let's play beat the Blonde.
Let's meet our contestant. Here's Kevin out of Greenville, South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Morning, Kevin, come boy, Good morning, sir.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hell are you and buddy awesome?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Welcome in him?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I thank you, sir. Well we'll last than you some questions.
You agree or disagree, and you at two bells for
two buzzers and you win.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
You know that, right, was like playing and let's do it.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Let's do it now, Tayler. According to the National Archives,
while Vice President Dan Quayle was in office, how many
times did he accidentally hit the Secret Service emergency button
located under his desk?
Speaker 5 (01:23):
Okay, now, you've seen folks with like the jumpy leg
right like they're like they're like they're Tommy Lee on
the kick drum, like they're just like this crazy leg.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Dan had the crazy leg.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
He hit it something like fifteen times.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Wow, it something like fifteen times. Kevin, Way, you think
you agree or disagree? With Dan Quayle's crazy leg.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
I'm will have to disagree on that one, John.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Bod disagree on fifteen. That was the thing to do? Yeah,
only three times?
Speaker 7 (01:50):
Only three?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, just three? Okay, there's one, Bill cam Let's get
you another one here, mar set Which member of the
Beatles was the oldest?
Speaker 5 (02:03):
Now this is something every Beatles fan knows?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Uh huh do you notice? Are you a Beatles fan?
Speaker 6 (02:11):
Sure, yeah we are.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's Ringo Ringo the oldest Beetle. Kevin, agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Tomboy, I'm gonna have to disagree on that one too.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Disagreeing on the Ringo, Yeah, rain In Ringo and McCartney
is a two left right now? That's right? All right, Dan?
Whatever it was? When us?
Speaker 7 (02:37):
All right?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Ken, we got a full count going into the final question, Taylor,
how many personal products does the average American woman use
to get out of the house in the morning?
Speaker 5 (02:48):
Average American woman?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
A personal products? Are you starling?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
You can google the none to a ton I say
twelve to get out of the house comfortably.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Okay, well even dozen. Kevin agree or disagree, John.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Boyle, I'm gonna make it three for three and have
to disagree on that one too.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
And.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, share a countertop with its twenty one. Yeah, personal,
all right, Kevin was good job buddy, big old blue
EMU prize back head down in Greenville for you.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Well, John boy, I want to tell you something. I
met you long before either one of us was a
big deal back in the back in the eighties.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Jehn boy, when you and the mississ was living in
a town hall.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
They're off Park Road, right by Park Road shopping Center.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yeah, I had, I had started my climb up the
business world. I was at the time delivering flowers and
it must have been your wife's birthday.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
And I come to the door that morning, knocked on
the door. She came. I said, man, my name's Kevin,
and it's such a pleasure to meet you, and these
flowers are for you. John boy, you come running down
the steps. You was wearing shorts a T shirt. Well
he was wearing the same thing he got on right now.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, probably exact.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And John Boy, you come running down the steps saying,
read the card, Read the card. I want to see
what I said.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
That was back when you had me sending flowers.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Well, Joe boy, I recognized that comedic genius in you
at that point.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
And.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Forty five years later, I've had a career in the
corporate world and sales and sales management.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I've always been on the road, and I tell you,
John Boy, every morning you made life better. You and
Billy made life better.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
I know Billy held all this stuff together and so
to Jackie. But uh man, what a joy it's been.
In fact, in fact, me and my buddies.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
We speak John boyd Is that right?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
I got I got one? Uh Bill Lewis. We call
him Billy Mack. Every time we call each other on
the phone, we say, is this holy? You know what
the other one says? All my life?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I want the fire out?
Speaker 4 (05:25):
And you know what we say when we hang out.
You gonna see Goober later on? Yeah, tell him, I said,
tell him.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I said, uh huh, you go.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
And somewhere and somewhere in the middle of that time, Boy,
we always comment comment on the Reverend Billy ray Collins.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
So I want you and Billy, Jackie, Tater, Old dead Pool,
Robert Rayford, all of Randy, all of them, y'all, y'all.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Meant the world us. You've been a You've been a
treasurer to us. Here in the Carolinas, we appreciate.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, and thanks a lot, buddy, Thanks for that memory.
Man cool stuff. Yeah, an first apartment down Park Road,
first got the town three hundred dollars a week. I
couldn't afford flowers, and I got a hundred bucks.
Speaker 8 (06:13):
Says they weren't shorts, they were boxers, buddy, body.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
When they were on top of your news. On the
other side, I remembering Rayford for this Monday morning you
just gotta shout out most Kevin I do.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
Man Roberty Ryford kicking off the big show and wondering
(07:06):
why people always have to have some.
Speaker 10 (07:08):
Number to put in the dead Blame computers. When you
buy something, no matter what it might be, they want
your telephone number to go to rent a dog go
one DVD or video or something like that. What's your
telephone number? And if you don't give them some telephone number,
they won't let you rent the doggone thing go somewhere,
and they say, what's your social Security number? Want your
(07:29):
social security number? Shoot, my daddy used to tell me
when the first started out with that social security stuff,
don't give it out, oh sir. He even had it
written in obscure places. So if he forgot it, he
could go there and look and see what it was.
If he didn't have his card with him, people used
to carry their card along with him. Most people have
to give it out so many times nowadays that hell,
(07:50):
they got it memorized. Everybody wanting some kind of number
to put in your zip code? What's your zip code number?
And goodness sakes, you know, I don't object to people
coming into my country to which I was born and bred,
will one day be a native born American dead. But
I get fidgeting when I find out that these joss
and Julios and the rest of them might be using
(08:12):
my social Security number. They say it's all they need
to get a job, and the government won't notify me
or crack down. Big headline in our paper illegal workers
take others card numbers. Story leads off for saying and
illegal immigrant may have used your Social Security number to
get a job. In fact, several million immigrants are illegally
(08:34):
illegally they have likely hijacked American numbers. That's what it
says right here, And the Social Security Administration doesn't even
notify immigration officials or pursue employers who routinely accept bogus numbers.
Now accept that for the truth that comes from a
reputable newspaper. We hear a lot of stories about illegals.
(08:54):
They don't pay taxes, they don't do this, that and
the other. They get all these advantages that we don't get.
Take much of that with a grain of salt. But
when you get something here that's certainly legitimate, a legitimate
news item and begins, so you begin to wonder about it.
For goodness sake, it's getting too close to home. Why
don't they crack down on the people to hire these
(09:15):
illegals knowing they're using fake numbers. Yes, people are getting
fed up with this business. Something's got to be done
one way or the other. Robert d Rafer, John Boy
and Billy Show, Good morning, make.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Shows on the radios.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
If we get through here.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Is this hot all my life on a find of rightm.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
On, Milly here, Hody ayway say you they're all Harry
nose picking knuckle dragon, butt stretching goblin and.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
He hull looking goat goblin.
Speaker 7 (10:17):
I ain't real sure what that in leaves myself.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Well, whatever it is, I don't like it. Well, how's
it going over? In temptation trailer. Huh, hey, what's up
with Delburn his new girlfriend?
Speaker 7 (10:27):
Well, there seems a big a couple of things keeping
them from having the perfect relationship. Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Number one is.
Speaker 7 (10:34):
Delbert's part of it. And number two she's got a chat.
Uh oh yeah, you know Debor.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
He don't like a chat.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Can I tell you Old Ginger Worset w J. Reynolds.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, she come out Taylor other day.
Speaker 7 (10:49):
Want him a little pet carrier deal, says honey, I
got to run up to Winston Salem for a couple
of days for this seminar. Can you take care of
mister Snuggles?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Form me walk down?
Speaker 7 (10:59):
Well, Geral would rather take a butt whooping and spend
two days with a cat.
Speaker 10 (11:03):
You know.
Speaker 7 (11:04):
He starts thinking about all that hot monkey love and
Ginger's been laying on him all him free Winston Light
coupons you got in your pocket book? He says, Okay, Honey,
I'd be glad to And how did go?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I tell you.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
As he opened up that box, old mister Snuggles jumped
out and latched right onto his lower lips. Yeah, that's
what he said. Turns out he didn't like Delbert no
better than Debt liked him. I mean that durnk cat
wore him slap out. At about three hours Paul, Devil
was a bit up and scratched from one end of
the other. He finally grabbed him up by the back
(11:39):
of the neck and told him in that little cat
box says enough is enough. I be right back. Well
about ten minutes later he comes back in the door,
all smiling and says, the mister Snuggles problem is fixed.
I said, Debork, you didn't take a cat down the
creek and drown him, did you. He said, no, of
course not. I just drove down the highway couple of offs.
Thought him out by the side of the road. Somebody
(12:00):
find him to take care of them. May I always do?
And then when Ginger gets back, I'll just tell her
he run off. It's about ten minutes later, we sitting
there watching TV. We hear this scratching sound at the door.
Devil walks over and opens it up. There's old mister Snuggles.
He goes to hissing, run straight up Dell's pant leg again. Well,
Devil prows of them all, says I reckon, I didn't
take him fair enough down the road. Be back directly.
(12:22):
This time he's gone for about twenty minutes. He comes back,
wasn't five minutes later? We heard that scratching again. Debord says,
you don't reckon. I said, well, animals has got him
a keen sense of direction.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
We open up the door. There he see it.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
Debar says, all right, hair a ball, it's time I'm
taking you on a ride. So Furar, you ain't never
gonna find you way back. He grabs up that cat
and they take off. So this time he stays gone
a real long time, and by an hour and a
half goes by, and he still hain't come back. Finally,
I hear something scratching at the door again. Sure enough,
open it up. There's old mister Snuggles sitting there on
the porch just in the phone rings. It's Deborah, he says,
(13:01):
is the cat backer?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I said, yeah.
Speaker 7 (13:03):
He said, oh, put that little slb on the phone.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I need some direction.
Speaker 7 (13:10):
Uh yeah, like I was saying, Texas all hat and
no cattle. Hey, let's there and run here and me
and doctor Doolittle's later on, Yeah, well, well you tell him,
I said, you know what you mean? Y'all came straight
verr did here.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
It's a big show on the radio. I can't be
read this all right, sir, I'll read it.
Speaker 11 (13:36):
Good morning, This is Nigel Cadbury, Master Boys, Faithful Gentleman's Gentlemen,
and you're listening to Master Boy and young Sir William
on the Big Show. It's my responsibility to make sure
that Master Boy gets up and gets to work on time,
so when he's laid it's my fault.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh shirt, I feel so.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
If the top ten is going, all these ears now
obligated after let them and retired. There's always been better.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Today.
Speaker 12 (14:50):
Do you take one day at a time? Do you
believe in the power of your dreams? Today's big show?
Top ten list is has not seen on the wall
in the conference room at work. Top ten rejected motivational
poster slogan boy. Number ten It's never too late to
go back to bed. Number nine. Everybody's glad you work hard,
(15:15):
but nobody wants to hear how hard you work.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Number eight.
Speaker 12 (15:21):
The problem with big ideas is even idiots come up
with them. Number seven. The only thing that has to
be finished by next Tuesday is next Monday. Number six
sometimes you have to let go of your dreams and
get some actual work done. Number five you miss one
(15:43):
hundred percent of the personal days you don't take.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Number four.
Speaker 12 (15:50):
If you can't laugh at yourself, the rest of us
will do it for you. Number three. You have the
same number of hours in your day as Beyonce. You
don't have are the looks, or the money or the talent.
Number two Be the idiot you want to be, not
the idiot everyone thinks you are. And the number one
(16:14):
rejected motivational slogan, you look like I need a drink.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Good morning, got a big shon the radio. Hang on
for the last top ten. Listen the morning. Let me
tell you about the prize fact that you can win
if you can play wordy word with us in a sec.
It's a big old assortment of small batch, handcooked peanuts
from Birtee County Peanuts. It's a Southern tradition for over
one hundred years. So we want you to make Birtee
County Peanuts party holidays. A lot of y'all started last
(16:50):
year and you back at them this year. It's what
we said, man, you're gonna have to have them every year.
So they got a wide riter to choose from, and
they got something for everybody on you gift lists family clients.
If you enter code JBB at checkout, you get twenty
five percent off plus free shipping when you shop online
Bertie County Peanuts dot net or look for the link
(17:11):
at the Big Show dot com. Hang on play for
ten minutes.
Speaker 12 (17:15):
But first well you may find this hard to believe,
but not every idea for reality TV show actually makes
it to TV. We've been keeping track of this for
several years.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
As a matter of fact.
Speaker 12 (17:26):
Today's Big Show Top ten list. Top ten rejected reality
TV show ideas number ten, Pickleball Wives number nine, Man
versus food Court at the Mall Number eight, Deadliest cash
cab number seven, Comedians in Cars workshopping jokes about high
(17:53):
gas prices number six, Bitch slap with Will Smill Number five,
Rue Paul the Bounty Hunter Number four, Pittbulls and Paroles
versus toddlers and tiaras number three, Judge Judy Tanuda number two,
(18:21):
Naked and allergic to peanuts, and the number one rejected
reality TV show idea Doctor Oz medicine woman.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Wow. I had a bunch of them this morning. You
ain't got to miss any of the top tens. Check
out the John Boynbilly Late Risers podcast after the broadcast
sometime later this morning. Oh boy, we'll come out les
play what he worded one night hundred bigshit. We're gonna
come a contestant some play next Good morning. It's a
(19:31):
big show on the radio. I feature track for the
make show Big Box Mad Mix is a big fat
world after all keywords big fat world. When ahead the
bed box at the Big Show dot com click out
on their contest but kagizoo, we'll call you somebody on
the play May that happen to like right now?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I went to everybody's head.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I buy the bed can bear anywhere?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
That a way word.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Let's meet our contestants. We got a boy friend and
a girlfriend. We got Mike from Monroe, Tennessee. Good morning, Mike,
good morning, Hey, welcome. And Valerie from zell Wood, Floridah.
Long distance morning, Valerie, good morning.
Speaker 7 (20:15):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
All right, that long distance relationship working?
Speaker 7 (20:18):
Huh right?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, I'd like to try up my marriage.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
By five.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
This guy, he knows what he's talking about. No. I
am glad y'all here, glad y'all here, let's play for
the big old birnteen County peanuts. And this is more
to it because you can't share. You're not the same spot, right, yeah, okay,
so it'll be the girls against the boys. Okay, okay,
Tater and Valerie John board, Mike, just random words this morning.
(20:48):
Random words. All right, Mike, Let's see what we can
do for the first thirty seconds. Are you ready?
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
All right, start the clock now. Okay. You don't want
a blank playing field. And you use this when you're
measuring to make sure the flat the surface is flat.
Is a little bubble in the level?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Level?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yes, okay. This is what you call your people on
the boat. Your deck makes no another word, has no
the whole can no another word? True, Yes, that's it.
How you shave with a blank blade? Razor? Razor? All right,
good word, Mike. That's the top of starting off. Vampa.
(21:34):
The three on the board. All right, Tanner and Valerie
for round one? Valerie, are you ready and go.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
The candy blank of honey, it's awesome. Yes, this is
not unleaded gasoline. It's the stuff that big trucks use.
This is you put you put H two O in
this and you go out and uh give a drink
to your plants.
Speaker 6 (22:00):
It's two words.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
You're playing.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
No, they drink the H two O. But you don't
use a hose, use a blank blank to to pour
it on them.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
Wow, it's hard to say this, camp.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yes, whoa watering can? That's the hardest one in the while.
I've been whining about that good word. Yeah, so put
a three on the three. All right, we're tied up
after round one, Mike. We're gonna need some points right here, buddy,
are you ready?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yes, that's all right.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Start the clock now on your car the blank absorbers yes,
uh huh, I live on ELM what yes, uh huh.
You turn this on when you come into a room
so it's not dark. The light the light, the light?
What turn it on? This right on the wall, the light? Yes, yes, okay,
(23:00):
I'm an adult, I am not a.
Speaker 10 (23:04):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, okay. The panther is a what terrible? Alright, four
on the board, Mike. You did great with what I
gave you, buddy. That's a seven score, so Tatar Valerie.
Four will tie and five will win. All right, ready, Valerie,
(23:25):
okay and go.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
The Gator is the Florida blank team blank. Yes you ay,
you have two of these on your feet? You wear them?
Speaker 7 (23:38):
No?
Speaker 5 (23:38):
No, no, yes, put a blank next to his name.
He's going to detention. Put a blank next to his name.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Check what a Bengal blank? It's a big cat a bangle?
I say it again?
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Tie up?
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Oh sofa blank?
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Oh no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I added three to three and that was six, but
you needed four to three to make it the seventh.
I didn't do it on purpose, I promise.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Oh well, let's let them find about it. Mike quins.
Speaker 6 (24:17):
Now we're tired, dear sauldn't I what?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
No, never mind, we are tired. Okay, we go to overtime.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
All right, I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's just my whole self afare. Okay, Well, let's see.
We have a fifteen second clock to see if we
can get a winner between the boyfriend and girlfriend, Mike
and Valerie. So me and Mike will go for the
first fifteen seconds. Mike's gonna go by quick. You got
the right clock up tighter?
Speaker 5 (24:51):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
All right, all right, Mike, are you ready? Yes, sir,
let's do it. Okay, start the clock, now use it.
This seat blank is a flotation device, a seat cushion, yes,
uh huh. Candy blank at Christmas? You eat it red
and white, a candy kan yes, uh huh.
Speaker 13 (25:12):
You put your boat tied up at the dock. Yeah,
that's it, buddy, put a three on there within fifteen
and now Tat and the Valerie three will tie, I promise,
lonely tied up at three?
Speaker 6 (25:29):
Okay, all right, I believe it, Jackie.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
What math do I need?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Far?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Will we I need three?
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Valerie and Tater ready go.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
After the gold medal comes the what metal the You
look up and this is the top of your room.
You look up at the feeling yep. This you hauled
dirt away in one of these A blank blank yep.
Egg Sharpie is a what barker.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Marker the buzzer for the wind.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Got a lover.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
That was an awesome game.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
That was good man.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
I appreciate y'all playing with us. So man, y'all think
about us when you get together.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
I like y'all as a couple.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I think you sh let's see it.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
I'll see you here shortly.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I tell y'all, y'all there, Jackie hook him up. Well,
the hardy hookup.
Speaker 7 (26:32):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Good Morning, I got to make show on the radio.
It is big re question, I know, Matt McDowell. Matt says,
when I heard the Diary of Mary Beaucy, it was
the funnest thing I've heard in a while. Heard a
lot of y'all's comments about that. It is the funny
stuff and Matt, let's all enjoy Mary Bucy coming up
next Good Morning to make sewan a radio something you'd
(27:21):
like to hear about this time Monday through Friday, after
Worthy Word it was helping the John Boy Billy Facebook page.
Matt McDowell over hear Mary Abusey and now an entry
into the diary of Gary Busey's cousin Mary.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Dear Diary, this is Mary Bucy cousin Gary. Weren't able
to make the entry this week. He's taking a little
break courtesy of the state, not the Charlie Sheen's sweet
at the Charlie Napier Correctional Facility. I don't know all
the details, but it seems like I heard he got
into a pissing call test with wee man from Jacks.
(28:04):
They should have called him wee wee man. Do you
get it? Diary? I mean a literal pissing contest. They
had little Filler hit the road as soon as he
seed the blue lights. But cousin Gary, well, he's too
prone to stop midstream.
Speaker 14 (28:21):
Put a talk from the tepee type two pea pee.
My drawers are wet. I feel on the seafeast swooping
up streams, just like on water. I guess Cousin Gary's
making water splitch splenched. I was taking a bleak just
till the po po showed up.
Speaker 12 (28:36):
Heads up, don't poot.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
So diary. I'm in charge of cossa debuty for a spell.
Came all the way out from Tosa, Oklahoma. Yeah, ain't
never been to LA before. I wanted my fat brother
Mooseybausey to tag along, but he's in a pie eating contest,
so I'm on my own here. Los Angeles has a
(29:06):
different sortie place.
Speaker 14 (29:08):
Back home, you have to look pretty hard to find
a weirdo.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
I mean, we got plenty of rednecks, Jehovah witnesses and
order or tupperware salesman, but.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Not many weirdos.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
I tell you out here, you can't fart without crop
dust and some ding dong with green hair. A ballerina
dress and a daddy's girl two shirt or fake boobs
and face pierced to the Bejesus belt. And the women
are even worse, dirine.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
I mean, what in the world is that a girl?
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Either that or a rabbit's quarrel?
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Thanks a lot, but no, damn thankye. I think I'll
pass on this ganggay bangay diarie trying to get a
bite to eat out here. No frosty creams, no golden Corral,
and the dennis alsomell like ransid.
Speaker 6 (30:01):
Jalapenos and expired pasels.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
I mean, the Indians own all the Mexican restaurants, and
the Greeks owned the Indian restaurants, and the Mexicans own
the Chinese joints, and the Vietnamese on the donut shops.
I got gagama. I just gave up on all that,
decided to look for a good wainer back home. We
got der winterer Snitzels, wiener world Chef's Wally's wiener Wigwam
(30:27):
and of course the famous handsome whistling waners. Eat one
of those and they gotcha, gotcha, gotcha? Oh gorgeous out here,
they told me they call them glizzlies. Glizzies I mean
that sounded to me like it was being set up
for a joke or something.
Speaker 7 (30:47):
Just my luck.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
I asked some bird where I can get a gizzie
And the next thing you know, I'm in a bathtub
little vice of the Motel five and missing a kidney.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
Oh not interested now.
Speaker 5 (30:59):
So I was driving rental car around the city looking
for a wonderful wiener. As I do, Hey, we're get
a girl from out of town. Find a tasty wiener.
I finally asked that guy who's standing on the corner,
and before the cops toted him off, he gave me
his phone number. Oh, I hope he gets out for.
I hope he gets out for I gotta leave because
I still ain't got that waner.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
No, sir wiener, listen, old La, what awaitness about the day?
Eight hours later and no toobesteak?
Speaker 5 (31:25):
Somebody give a girl a break, y'all y'all wait, okay,
I'll take up a ridle what I heard from cousin
Gary that celebrities was everywhere. The only place I saw
Anny was out in front of that big old Chinese theater.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I'll be damned to.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
Find out why more people wasn't there. I mean, I
met Batman, Superman, Captain Jack Sparrow. Hell, even SpongeBob was there,
taller than I thought he'd be, and he was a
smoker too. I tried to shake Supermann, but he wouldn't
put down that bottle of Thunderbird. I then kryptonite ain't
his only weakness. I even met a pack band. I
(32:09):
might be from Tulsa, but I'm no dummy. They weren't
the real pac Man. No, it weren't, at least I
don't think so. I mean them video game guys ain't real,
are they? Hunhy teenage mutant Ninja Turtles, Madonna and a
jowk of a girdle. A five ft two Freakin's tiny
egg got two fresh and grabbed Behindeunynky's.
Speaker 6 (32:27):
Monkey Turtle's the junkie in my trunky.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I'm not that kind of girl.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
Not to Dirk well Diary, I got a skid dad all.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
Some guy named Crazy Frankie's coming over says that the
scher is talking smack about me. Let's see if she
believes in life after all.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Blipper As.
Speaker 6 (32:54):
Until next time, x'es and ups, Good.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Morning make shows on the radio. You want those mad
mags for your collection keywords, big fat world.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Come on, Milly'll mad Mags? How you doing, man? I'm
just fit as a fiddling ready for love?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Really, no, man.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
The wife just got back from Florida visiting her sister,
her nerve wracking kids, and of course they had to
drag us off the Disney World while I was down there.
Oh boy, couldn't we I tell how I can swell idea, myrtle,
my big old Mickey mouse buck Hey to get on
meckey too much here. But after about three days of
(34:10):
standing in one line after another, the Orlando Airport was
starting to look like the happiest place on it.
Speaker 10 (34:18):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
I talking to the boy works at that coot one
night he says, they're fetching the shut down. It's a
Small World ride at Disneyland. Now, anybody that's ever rolled
this thing had that crappy song stuck in their head
the rest of the day is probably thinking, good, it's
about that. Well, don't get too excited. They ain't tearing
(34:39):
it down. They're just upgrading it. And there's more bad news.
They're upgrading the equipment, not the song. Now here's the deal.
When Small World was built back in nineteen sixty four.
It is designed to carry men that weighed one hundred
and seventy five pounds and women that weighed one hundred
and thirty five pounds. Anybody that's been to the mall
(35:01):
lately knows them.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Day is long hard, y'all.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
We walked around Disney World for three days last week.
I ain't never seen so many fat people in my life.
We must come through the gate I thought was call
up in the middle of some new Dumbo parade. Pat
They foreverywhere, and half of them riding them little electric scooters.
They keep them head for them ninety year old grannies. Nowadays,
(35:26):
it ain't granny riding it if a forty year old
big girl from Arkansas starring with one honey eating marshmallow
Mickey's with the others that Disney everybody under two years
old is in a stroller. Now everybody over two hundred
pounds on a little alascal. Needless to say, a steady
(35:47):
stream of fat people take a toll on amusement park ride.
According to the fellow I talked to, what's happening on
small roar is the riders have got so fat the
boots are bottom and out. Kid, you know, Hello, these
big old butt steaks goes into shooting, is up getting
stuck halfway through it cause ain't no cameras inside. The
(36:10):
people running a ride don't know there's a stuck card
if somebody says, hey, how come nobody's coming out down there?
So you could end up trapped on the worst ride
in the park with him little robot Eskimo kids singing
It's a small world at you over and over. He's
thinking the haunted mansion is creepy. You ain't say nothing
(36:32):
in so here's a reality check for you, America. Walt
Disney says, you're officially too fat to ride. It's a
small world. Now, put down that Mickey Mouse ice cream bar,
keep your scooter off my toes, and quick running my life, y'all.
Bore Billy, y'all, have a nice day.
Speaker 12 (36:53):
Big boxes here all your favorite from four decades of
The Big Show, running nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine. Buy them once, play them anywhere. You can
shop to bid bots online right now at the Big
Show dot Com.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Order Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 12 (37:05):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Have you missed any of the Big Show this morning.
You can hear it all the John Boremilly Late Risers
podcast up next.
Speaker 10 (37:16):
A wait.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free I Heart Radio app. I Love
you mean It
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's a big show on the radio Monday morning. Your
feature track from the Big Show, Big Box, mad Max.
That's a big fat world after all key words, big
fat world. Here in the mid box at the Big
Show dot Com. Right out, let's play beat the Blonde.
Let's meet our contestant. Here's Kevin out of Greenville, South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Morning, Kevin, come boy, Good morning, sir.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hell are you and buddy awesome?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Welcome in him?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I thank you, sir. Well we'll last than you some questions.
You agree or disagree, and you at two bells for
two buzzers and you win.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
You know that, right, was like playing and let's do it.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Let's do it now, Tayler. According to the National Archives,
while Vice President Dan Quayle was in office, how many
times did he accidentally hit the Secret Service emergency button
located under his desk?
Speaker 5 (01:23):
Okay, now, you've seen folks with like the jumpy leg
right like they're like they're like they're Tommy Lee on
the kick drum, like they're just like this crazy leg.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Dan had the crazy leg.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
He hit it something like fifteen times.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Wow, it something like fifteen times. Kevin, Way, you think
you agree or disagree? With Dan Quayle's crazy leg.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
I'm will have to disagree on that one, John.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Bod disagree on fifteen. That was the thing to do? Yeah,
only three times?
Speaker 7 (01:50):
Only three?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, just three? Okay, there's one, Bill cam Let's get
you another one here, mar set Which member of the
Beatles was the oldest?
Speaker 5 (02:03):
Now this is something every Beatles fan knows?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Uh huh do you notice? Are you a Beatles fan?
Speaker 6 (02:11):
Sure, yeah we are.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's Ringo Ringo the oldest Beetle. Kevin, agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Tomboy, I'm gonna have to disagree on that one too.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Disagreeing on the Ringo, Yeah, rain In Ringo and McCartney
is a two left right now? That's right? All right, Dan?
Whatever it was? When us?
Speaker 7 (02:37):
All right?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Ken, we got a full count going into the final question, Taylor,
how many personal products does the average American woman use
to get out of the house in the morning?
Speaker 5 (02:48):
Average American woman?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
A personal products? Are you starling?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
You can google the none to a ton I say
twelve to get out of the house comfortably.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Okay, well even dozen. Kevin agree or disagree, John.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Boyle, I'm gonna make it three for three and have
to disagree on that one too.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
And.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, share a countertop with its twenty one. Yeah, personal,
all right, Kevin was good job buddy, big old blue
EMU prize back head down in Greenville for you.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Well, John boy, I want to tell you something. I
met you long before either one of us was a
big deal back in the back in the eighties.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Jehn boy, when you and the mississ was living in
a town hall.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
They're off Park Road, right by Park Road shopping Center.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yeah, I had, I had started my climb up the
business world. I was at the time delivering flowers and
it must have been your wife's birthday.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
And I come to the door that morning, knocked on
the door. She came. I said, man, my name's Kevin,
and it's such a pleasure to meet you, and these
flowers are for you. John boy, you come running down
the steps. You was wearing shorts a T shirt. Well
he was wearing the same thing he got on right now.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, probably exact.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And John Boy, you come running down the steps saying,
read the card, Read the card. I want to see
what I said.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
That was back when you had me sending flowers.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Well, Joe boy, I recognized that comedic genius in you
at that point.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
And.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Forty five years later, I've had a career in the
corporate world and sales and sales management.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I've always been on the road, and I tell you,
John Boy, every morning you made life better. You and
Billy made life better.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
I know Billy held all this stuff together and so
to Jackie. But uh man, what a joy it's been.
In fact, in fact, me and my buddies.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
We speak John boyd Is that right?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
I got I got one? Uh Bill Lewis. We call
him Billy Mack. Every time we call each other on
the phone, we say, is this holy? You know what
the other one says? All my life?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I want the fire out?
Speaker 4 (05:25):
And you know what we say when we hang out.
You gonna see Goober later on? Yeah, tell him, I said,
tell him.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I said, uh huh, you go.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
And somewhere and somewhere in the middle of that time, Boy,
we always comment comment on the Reverend Billy ray Collins.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
So I want you and Billy, Jackie, Tater, Old dead Pool,
Robert Rayford, all of Randy, all of them, y'all, y'all.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Meant the world us. You've been a You've been a
treasurer to us. Here in the Carolinas, we appreciate.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, and thanks a lot, buddy, Thanks for that memory.
Man cool stuff. Yeah, an first apartment down Park Road,
first got the town three hundred dollars a week. I
couldn't afford flowers, and I got a hundred bucks.
Speaker 8 (06:13):
Says they weren't shorts, they were boxers, buddy, body.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
When they were on top of your news. On the
other side, I remembering Rayford for this Monday morning you
just gotta shout out most Kevin I do.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
Man Roberty Ryford kicking off the big show and wondering
(07:06):
why people always have to have some.
Speaker 10 (07:08):
Number to put in the dead Blame computers. When you
buy something, no matter what it might be, they want
your telephone number to go to rent a dog go
one DVD or video or something like that. What's your
telephone number? And if you don't give them some telephone number,
they won't let you rent the doggone thing go somewhere,
and they say, what's your social Security number? Want your
(07:29):
social security number? Shoot, my daddy used to tell me
when the first started out with that social security stuff,
don't give it out, oh sir. He even had it
written in obscure places. So if he forgot it, he
could go there and look and see what it was.
If he didn't have his card with him, people used
to carry their card along with him. Most people have
to give it out so many times nowadays that hell,
(07:50):
they got it memorized. Everybody wanting some kind of number
to put in your zip code? What's your zip code number?
And goodness sakes, you know, I don't object to people
coming into my country to which I was born and bred,
will one day be a native born American dead. But
I get fidgeting when I find out that these joss
and Julios and the rest of them might be using
(08:12):
my social Security number. They say it's all they need
to get a job, and the government won't notify me
or crack down. Big headline in our paper illegal workers
take others card numbers. Story leads off for saying and
illegal immigrant may have used your Social Security number to
get a job. In fact, several million immigrants are illegally
(08:34):
illegally they have likely hijacked American numbers. That's what it
says right here, And the Social Security Administration doesn't even
notify immigration officials or pursue employers who routinely accept bogus numbers.
Now accept that for the truth that comes from a
reputable newspaper. We hear a lot of stories about illegals.
(08:54):
They don't pay taxes, they don't do this, that and
the other. They get all these advantages that we don't get.
Take much of that with a grain of salt. But
when you get something here that's certainly legitimate, a legitimate
news item and begins, so you begin to wonder about it.
For goodness sake, it's getting too close to home. Why
don't they crack down on the people to hire these
(09:15):
illegals knowing they're using fake numbers. Yes, people are getting
fed up with this business. Something's got to be done
one way or the other. Robert d Rafer, John Boy
and Billy Show, Good morning, make.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Shows on the radios.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
If we get through here.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Is this hot all my life on a find of rightm.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
On, Milly here, Hody ayway say you they're all Harry
nose picking knuckle dragon, butt stretching goblin and.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
He hull looking goat goblin.
Speaker 7 (10:17):
I ain't real sure what that in leaves myself.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Well, whatever it is, I don't like it. Well, how's
it going over? In temptation trailer. Huh, hey, what's up
with Delburn his new girlfriend?
Speaker 7 (10:27):
Well, there seems a big a couple of things keeping
them from having the perfect relationship. Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Number one is.
Speaker 7 (10:34):
Delbert's part of it. And number two she's got a chat.
Uh oh yeah, you know Debor.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
He don't like a chat.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Can I tell you Old Ginger Worset w J. Reynolds.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, she come out Taylor other day.
Speaker 7 (10:49):
Want him a little pet carrier deal, says honey, I
got to run up to Winston Salem for a couple
of days for this seminar. Can you take care of
mister Snuggles?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Form me walk down?
Speaker 7 (10:59):
Well, Geral would rather take a butt whooping and spend
two days with a cat.
Speaker 10 (11:03):
You know.
Speaker 7 (11:04):
He starts thinking about all that hot monkey love and
Ginger's been laying on him all him free Winston Light
coupons you got in your pocket book? He says, Okay, Honey,
I'd be glad to And how did go?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I tell you.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
As he opened up that box, old mister Snuggles jumped
out and latched right onto his lower lips. Yeah, that's
what he said. Turns out he didn't like Delbert no
better than Debt liked him. I mean that durnk cat
wore him slap out. At about three hours Paul, Devil
was a bit up and scratched from one end of
the other. He finally grabbed him up by the back
(11:39):
of the neck and told him in that little cat
box says enough is enough. I be right back. Well
about ten minutes later he comes back in the door,
all smiling and says, the mister Snuggles problem is fixed.
I said, Debork, you didn't take a cat down the
creek and drown him, did you. He said, no, of
course not. I just drove down the highway couple of offs.
Thought him out by the side of the road. Somebody
(12:00):
find him to take care of them. May I always do?
And then when Ginger gets back, I'll just tell her
he run off. It's about ten minutes later, we sitting
there watching TV. We hear this scratching sound at the door.
Devil walks over and opens it up. There's old mister Snuggles.
He goes to hissing, run straight up Dell's pant leg again. Well,
Devil prows of them all, says I reckon, I didn't
take him fair enough down the road. Be back directly.
(12:22):
This time he's gone for about twenty minutes. He comes back,
wasn't five minutes later? We heard that scratching again. Debord says,
you don't reckon. I said, well, animals has got him
a keen sense of direction.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
We open up the door. There he see it.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
Debar says, all right, hair a ball, it's time I'm
taking you on a ride. So Furar, you ain't never
gonna find you way back. He grabs up that cat
and they take off. So this time he stays gone
a real long time, and by an hour and a
half goes by, and he still hain't come back. Finally,
I hear something scratching at the door again. Sure enough,
open it up. There's old mister Snuggles sitting there on
the porch just in the phone rings. It's Deborah, he says,
(13:01):
is the cat backer?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I said, yeah.
Speaker 7 (13:03):
He said, oh, put that little slb on the phone.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I need some direction.
Speaker 7 (13:10):
Uh yeah, like I was saying, Texas all hat and
no cattle. Hey, let's there and run here and me
and doctor Doolittle's later on, Yeah, well, well you tell him,
I said, you know what you mean? Y'all came straight
verr did here.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
It's a big show on the radio. I can't be
read this all right, sir, I'll read it.
Speaker 11 (13:36):
Good morning, This is Nigel Cadbury, Master Boys, Faithful Gentleman's Gentlemen,
and you're listening to Master Boy and young Sir William
on the Big Show. It's my responsibility to make sure
that Master Boy gets up and gets to work on time,
so when he's laid it's my fault.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh shirt, I feel so.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
If the top ten is going, all these ears now
obligated after let them and retired. There's always been better.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Today.
Speaker 12 (14:50):
Do you take one day at a time? Do you
believe in the power of your dreams? Today's big show?
Top ten list is has not seen on the wall
in the conference room at work. Top ten rejected motivational
poster slogan boy. Number ten It's never too late to
go back to bed. Number nine. Everybody's glad you work hard,
(15:15):
but nobody wants to hear how hard you work.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Number eight.
Speaker 12 (15:21):
The problem with big ideas is even idiots come up
with them. Number seven. The only thing that has to
be finished by next Tuesday is next Monday. Number six
sometimes you have to let go of your dreams and
get some actual work done. Number five you miss one
(15:43):
hundred percent of the personal days you don't take.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Number four.
Speaker 12 (15:50):
If you can't laugh at yourself, the rest of us
will do it for you. Number three. You have the
same number of hours in your day as Beyonce. You
don't have are the looks, or the money or the talent.
Number two Be the idiot you want to be, not
the idiot everyone thinks you are. And the number one
(16:14):
rejected motivational slogan, you look like I need a drink.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Good morning, got a big shon the radio. Hang on
for the last top ten. Listen the morning. Let me
tell you about the prize fact that you can win
if you can play wordy word with us in a sec.
It's a big old assortment of small batch, handcooked peanuts
from Birtee County Peanuts. It's a Southern tradition for over
one hundred years. So we want you to make Birtee
County Peanuts party holidays. A lot of y'all started last
(16:50):
year and you back at them this year. It's what
we said, man, you're gonna have to have them every year.
So they got a wide riter to choose from, and
they got something for everybody on you gift lists family clients.
If you enter code JBB at checkout, you get twenty
five percent off plus free shipping when you shop online
Bertie County Peanuts dot net or look for the link
(17:11):
at the Big Show dot com. Hang on play for
ten minutes.
Speaker 12 (17:15):
But first well you may find this hard to believe,
but not every idea for reality TV show actually makes
it to TV. We've been keeping track of this for
several years.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
As a matter of fact.
Speaker 12 (17:26):
Today's Big Show Top ten list. Top ten rejected reality
TV show ideas number ten, Pickleball Wives number nine, Man
versus food Court at the Mall Number eight, Deadliest cash
cab number seven, Comedians in Cars workshopping jokes about high
(17:53):
gas prices number six, Bitch slap with Will Smill Number five,
Rue Paul the Bounty Hunter Number four, Pittbulls and Paroles
versus toddlers and tiaras number three, Judge Judy Tanuda number two,
(18:21):
Naked and allergic to peanuts, and the number one rejected
reality TV show idea Doctor Oz medicine woman.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Wow. I had a bunch of them this morning. You
ain't got to miss any of the top tens. Check
out the John Boynbilly Late Risers podcast after the broadcast
sometime later this morning. Oh boy, we'll come out les
play what he worded one night hundred bigshit. We're gonna
come a contestant some play next Good morning. It's a
(19:31):
big show on the radio. I feature track for the
make show Big Box Mad Mix is a big fat
world after all keywords big fat world. When ahead the
bed box at the Big Show dot com click out
on their contest but kagizoo, we'll call you somebody on
the play May that happen to like right now?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I went to everybody's head.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I buy the bed can bear anywhere?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
That a way word.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Let's meet our contestants. We got a boy friend and
a girlfriend. We got Mike from Monroe, Tennessee. Good morning, Mike,
good morning, Hey, welcome. And Valerie from zell Wood, Floridah.
Long distance morning, Valerie, good morning.
Speaker 7 (20:15):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
All right, that long distance relationship working?
Speaker 7 (20:18):
Huh right?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, I'd like to try up my marriage.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
By five.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
This guy, he knows what he's talking about. No. I
am glad y'all here, glad y'all here, let's play for
the big old birnteen County peanuts. And this is more
to it because you can't share. You're not the same spot, right, yeah, okay,
so it'll be the girls against the boys. Okay, okay,
Tater and Valerie John board, Mike, just random words this morning.
(20:48):
Random words. All right, Mike, Let's see what we can
do for the first thirty seconds. Are you ready?
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
All right, start the clock now. Okay. You don't want
a blank playing field. And you use this when you're
measuring to make sure the flat the surface is flat.
Is a little bubble in the level?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Level?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yes, okay. This is what you call your people on
the boat. Your deck makes no another word, has no
the whole can no another word? True, Yes, that's it.
How you shave with a blank blade? Razor? Razor? All right,
good word, Mike. That's the top of starting off. Vampa.
(21:34):
The three on the board. All right, Tanner and Valerie
for round one? Valerie, are you ready and go.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
The candy blank of honey, it's awesome. Yes, this is
not unleaded gasoline. It's the stuff that big trucks use.
This is you put you put H two O in
this and you go out and uh give a drink
to your plants.
Speaker 6 (22:00):
It's two words.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
You're playing.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
No, they drink the H two O. But you don't
use a hose, use a blank blank to to pour
it on them.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
Wow, it's hard to say this, camp.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yes, whoa watering can? That's the hardest one in the while.
I've been whining about that good word. Yeah, so put
a three on the three. All right, we're tied up
after round one, Mike. We're gonna need some points right here, buddy,
are you ready?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yes, that's all right.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Start the clock now on your car the blank absorbers yes,
uh huh, I live on ELM what yes, uh huh.
You turn this on when you come into a room
so it's not dark. The light the light, the light?
What turn it on? This right on the wall, the light? Yes, yes, okay,
(23:00):
I'm an adult, I am not a.
Speaker 10 (23:04):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, okay. The panther is a what terrible? Alright, four
on the board, Mike. You did great with what I
gave you, buddy. That's a seven score, so Tatar Valerie.
Four will tie and five will win. All right, ready, Valerie,
(23:25):
okay and go.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
The Gator is the Florida blank team blank. Yes you ay,
you have two of these on your feet? You wear them?
Speaker 7 (23:38):
No?
Speaker 5 (23:38):
No, no, yes, put a blank next to his name.
He's going to detention. Put a blank next to his name.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Check what a Bengal blank? It's a big cat a bangle?
I say it again?
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Tie up?
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Oh sofa blank?
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Oh no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I added three to three and that was six, but
you needed four to three to make it the seventh.
I didn't do it on purpose, I promise.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Oh well, let's let them find about it. Mike quins.
Speaker 6 (24:17):
Now we're tired, dear sauldn't I what?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
No, never mind, we are tired. Okay, we go to overtime.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
All right, I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's just my whole self afare. Okay, Well, let's see.
We have a fifteen second clock to see if we
can get a winner between the boyfriend and girlfriend, Mike
and Valerie. So me and Mike will go for the
first fifteen seconds. Mike's gonna go by quick. You got
the right clock up tighter?
Speaker 5 (24:51):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
All right, all right, Mike, are you ready? Yes, sir,
let's do it. Okay, start the clock, now use it.
This seat blank is a flotation device, a seat cushion, yes,
uh huh. Candy blank at Christmas? You eat it red
and white, a candy kan yes, uh huh.
Speaker 13 (25:12):
You put your boat tied up at the dock. Yeah,
that's it, buddy, put a three on there within fifteen
and now Tat and the Valerie three will tie, I promise,
lonely tied up at three?
Speaker 6 (25:29):
Okay, all right, I believe it, Jackie.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
What math do I need?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Far?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Will we I need three?
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Valerie and Tater ready go.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
After the gold medal comes the what metal the You
look up and this is the top of your room.
You look up at the feeling yep. This you hauled
dirt away in one of these A blank blank yep.
Egg Sharpie is a what barker.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Marker the buzzer for the wind.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Got a lover.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
That was an awesome game.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
That was good man.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
I appreciate y'all playing with us. So man, y'all think
about us when you get together.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
I like y'all as a couple.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I think you sh let's see it.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
I'll see you here shortly.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I tell y'all, y'all there, Jackie hook him up. Well,
the hardy hookup.
Speaker 7 (26:32):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Good Morning, I got to make show on the radio.
It is big re question, I know, Matt McDowell. Matt says,
when I heard the Diary of Mary Beaucy, it was
the funnest thing I've heard in a while. Heard a
lot of y'all's comments about that. It is the funny
stuff and Matt, let's all enjoy Mary Bucy coming up
next Good Morning to make sewan a radio something you'd
(27:21):
like to hear about this time Monday through Friday, after
Worthy Word it was helping the John Boy Billy Facebook page.
Matt McDowell over hear Mary Abusey and now an entry
into the diary of Gary Busey's cousin Mary.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Dear Diary, this is Mary Bucy cousin Gary. Weren't able
to make the entry this week. He's taking a little
break courtesy of the state, not the Charlie Sheen's sweet
at the Charlie Napier Correctional Facility. I don't know all
the details, but it seems like I heard he got
into a pissing call test with wee man from Jacks.
(28:04):
They should have called him wee wee man. Do you
get it? Diary? I mean a literal pissing contest. They
had little Filler hit the road as soon as he
seed the blue lights. But cousin Gary, well, he's too
prone to stop midstream.
Speaker 14 (28:21):
Put a talk from the tepee type two pea pee.
My drawers are wet. I feel on the seafeast swooping
up streams, just like on water. I guess Cousin Gary's
making water splitch splenched. I was taking a bleak just
till the po po showed up.
Speaker 12 (28:36):
Heads up, don't poot.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
So diary. I'm in charge of cossa debuty for a spell.
Came all the way out from Tosa, Oklahoma. Yeah, ain't
never been to LA before. I wanted my fat brother
Mooseybausey to tag along, but he's in a pie eating contest,
so I'm on my own here. Los Angeles has a
(29:06):
different sortie place.
Speaker 14 (29:08):
Back home, you have to look pretty hard to find
a weirdo.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
I mean, we got plenty of rednecks, Jehovah witnesses and
order or tupperware salesman, but.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Not many weirdos.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
I tell you out here, you can't fart without crop
dust and some ding dong with green hair. A ballerina
dress and a daddy's girl two shirt or fake boobs
and face pierced to the Bejesus belt. And the women
are even worse, dirine.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
I mean, what in the world is that a girl?
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Either that or a rabbit's quarrel?
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Thanks a lot, but no, damn thankye. I think I'll
pass on this ganggay bangay diarie trying to get a
bite to eat out here. No frosty creams, no golden Corral,
and the dennis alsomell like ransid.
Speaker 6 (30:01):
Jalapenos and expired pasels.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
I mean, the Indians own all the Mexican restaurants, and
the Greeks owned the Indian restaurants, and the Mexicans own
the Chinese joints, and the Vietnamese on the donut shops.
I got gagama. I just gave up on all that,
decided to look for a good wainer back home. We
got der winterer Snitzels, wiener world Chef's Wally's wiener Wigwam
(30:27):
and of course the famous handsome whistling waners. Eat one
of those and they gotcha, gotcha, gotcha? Oh gorgeous out here,
they told me they call them glizzlies. Glizzies I mean
that sounded to me like it was being set up
for a joke or something.
Speaker 7 (30:47):
Just my luck.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
I asked some bird where I can get a gizzie
And the next thing you know, I'm in a bathtub
little vice of the Motel five and missing a kidney.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
Oh not interested now.
Speaker 5 (30:59):
So I was driving rental car around the city looking
for a wonderful wiener. As I do, Hey, we're get
a girl from out of town. Find a tasty wiener.
I finally asked that guy who's standing on the corner,
and before the cops toted him off, he gave me
his phone number. Oh, I hope he gets out for.
I hope he gets out for I gotta leave because
I still ain't got that waner.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
No, sir wiener, listen, old La, what awaitness about the day?
Eight hours later and no toobesteak?
Speaker 5 (31:25):
Somebody give a girl a break, y'all y'all wait, okay,
I'll take up a ridle what I heard from cousin
Gary that celebrities was everywhere. The only place I saw
Anny was out in front of that big old Chinese theater.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I'll be damned to.
Speaker 5 (31:46):
Find out why more people wasn't there. I mean, I
met Batman, Superman, Captain Jack Sparrow. Hell, even SpongeBob was there,
taller than I thought he'd be, and he was a
smoker too. I tried to shake Supermann, but he wouldn't
put down that bottle of Thunderbird. I then kryptonite ain't
his only weakness. I even met a pack band. I
(32:09):
might be from Tulsa, but I'm no dummy. They weren't
the real pac Man. No, it weren't, at least I
don't think so. I mean them video game guys ain't real,
are they? Hunhy teenage mutant Ninja Turtles, Madonna and a
jowk of a girdle. A five ft two Freakin's tiny
egg got two fresh and grabbed Behindeunynky's.
Speaker 6 (32:27):
Monkey Turtle's the junkie in my trunky.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I'm not that kind of girl.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
Not to Dirk well Diary, I got a skid dad all.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
Some guy named Crazy Frankie's coming over says that the
scher is talking smack about me. Let's see if she
believes in life after all.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Blipper As.
Speaker 6 (32:54):
Until next time, x'es and ups, Good.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Morning make shows on the radio. You want those mad
mags for your collection keywords, big fat world.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Come on, Milly'll mad Mags? How you doing, man? I'm
just fit as a fiddling ready for love?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Really, no, man.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
The wife just got back from Florida visiting her sister,
her nerve wracking kids, and of course they had to
drag us off the Disney World while I was down there.
Oh boy, couldn't we I tell how I can swell idea, myrtle,
my big old Mickey mouse buck Hey to get on
meckey too much here. But after about three days of
(34:10):
standing in one line after another, the Orlando Airport was
starting to look like the happiest place on it.
Speaker 10 (34:18):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
I talking to the boy works at that coot one
night he says, they're fetching the shut down. It's a
Small World ride at Disneyland. Now, anybody that's ever rolled
this thing had that crappy song stuck in their head
the rest of the day is probably thinking, good, it's
about that. Well, don't get too excited. They ain't tearing
(34:39):
it down. They're just upgrading it. And there's more bad news.
They're upgrading the equipment, not the song. Now here's the deal.
When Small World was built back in nineteen sixty four.
It is designed to carry men that weighed one hundred
and seventy five pounds and women that weighed one hundred
and thirty five pounds. Anybody that's been to the mall
(35:01):
lately knows them.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Day is long hard, y'all.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
We walked around Disney World for three days last week.
I ain't never seen so many fat people in my life.
We must come through the gate I thought was call
up in the middle of some new Dumbo parade. Pat
They foreverywhere, and half of them riding them little electric scooters.
They keep them head for them ninety year old grannies. Nowadays,
(35:26):
it ain't granny riding it if a forty year old
big girl from Arkansas starring with one honey eating marshmallow
Mickey's with the others that Disney everybody under two years
old is in a stroller. Now everybody over two hundred
pounds on a little alascal. Needless to say, a steady
(35:47):
stream of fat people take a toll on amusement park ride.
According to the fellow I talked to, what's happening on
small roar is the riders have got so fat the
boots are bottom and out. Kid, you know, Hello, these
big old butt steaks goes into shooting, is up getting
stuck halfway through it cause ain't no cameras inside. The
(36:10):
people running a ride don't know there's a stuck card
if somebody says, hey, how come nobody's coming out down there?
So you could end up trapped on the worst ride
in the park with him little robot Eskimo kids singing
It's a small world at you over and over. He's
thinking the haunted mansion is creepy. You ain't say nothing
(36:32):
in so here's a reality check for you, America. Walt
Disney says, you're officially too fat to ride. It's a
small world. Now, put down that Mickey Mouse ice cream bar,
keep your scooter off my toes, and quick running my life, y'all.
Bore Billy, y'all, have a nice day.
Speaker 12 (36:53):
Big boxes here all your favorite from four decades of
The Big Show, running nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine. Buy them once, play them anywhere. You can
shop to bid bots online right now at the Big
Show dot Com.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Order Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 12 (37:05):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Have you missed any of the Big Show this morning.
You can hear it all the John Boremilly Late Risers
podcast up next.
Speaker 10 (37:16):
A wait.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free I Heart Radio app. I Love
you mean It
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