Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Good morning. It's a Big Show on the radio for you. Tuesday,
November twenty eighth. Today's feature track for The Big Show
bit Box No Grumby old Man, hate the Holidays. Search
for key words Grumby Holidays. Make you on Christmas album.
Surprise you Big Show fan. You get fifteen tracks just
nine none no none when you hit the bit box
Big Show dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, right now, Pam Squad Ready, Okay, come yard, Jan
car Wills the.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Quiz.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, head around out of Union Grove, Texas.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Good morning, Ron, Good morning.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
How y'all doing down there in Carolina?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Man, we're doing good, acting like we're up here and
you're down there. If you're looking at America like from
where we are, Ron, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You're like we went south probably.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well, glad you got in here, Ron, Glad we got
a bunch of great listeners down to great state of Texas.
I did Ryans listen to Billy you win well.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Last month we told you about people who want to
be taller so much they have surgery to make their legs.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Longer than Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
But if you don't have eighty or ninety thousand dollars
for the operation or nine to twelve months to heal
up from it. eBay is selling an easier way to
look taller, fake belly button stickers. The idea, apparently, is
to stick the fake naval higher up on your belly,
(02:01):
then hike up your pants to hide your.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Real belly button.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
This gives the illusion that you have a longer torso
and longer looking legs or so these sticker people on EBAs,
and it works better for some people than others, obviously.
One seller says to pull off the trick, you'll want
to switch to higher heel shoes at some point, and
of course you'll also need a a shirt that exposes
(02:26):
your belly, be a skin tone that matches the one
on the belly button sticker, or see a friend, group
of complete idiots.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
What you got Rod, I'm gonna have to take sea
to figure it out.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I don't think anybody's really figured it out yet.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Good work for you, Buddie, big old happy herd eyes.
Back head down to Union Grove for you, Down to
Union grow for you.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Gravy then gravy.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Look at you.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Hide now, buddy, you hang over, Jackie, right.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Jump out, catch you up on your news. Right on
the other side.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Our time Capsulmans November twenty eighth, Hango Full Life.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Yo, what's up how y'all doing?
Speaker 6 (04:11):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Man?
Speaker 8 (04:11):
The new Great Depression rolls on. People having a hard
time do anything for money. Even the crime nowadays is
jacked up. He's seen on the news about all these
metal thieves. And I ain't talking about gold and silver.
I'm talking about like breaking in the power company, stealing
copper cable, pulling rain gutters off a man's house, stealing
(04:31):
guardrails and man hole covers. It's like a bunch of
crackhead termites or attack even real crack heads, going what
is wrong with these people?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Hey?
Speaker 8 (04:41):
If you're a cop working on a stolen metal case,
I got a tip for you. You ain't got to
interview none of my people. Ain't no brothers in the
scrap metal game. You're looking for eight big, thick white boys.
I'm trying to steal a guardrail. Has some labor intensive
crime right now. We ain't about that. If a brother
hooked up one of them gangs, he lasted about ten minutes.
(05:04):
First job of the night, boss Man say Okay, Calvin,
put that ladder up against the house. We gonna pull
them rain gutters off and load them in the truck.
Calvin be like, no, man, you gonna pull them gutters
off and put them in the truck. That ain't for me.
I turned the crime because it was easy. If I
wanted to work, I'd get a job. All right, Well,
then run, get that manhole cover out.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Of the street.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Do what why scrap iron? Seventy eight cents a pound?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
May are you out of your mind?
Speaker 8 (05:32):
I ain't picking up no damn hundred pounds man hold cover.
Two things about heavy metal, I don't listen to it,
and I damn sure don't pick it up. I've know
eight ways split on seventy eight cents a pound. Hey,
hamburg yourself about two fifty a pounds. Only go knock
over the meat department at the food Jin. No, man,
get up that pole and cut down a piece of
(05:54):
that power line. That why I got all kind of
copper in it. Yeah, also got fifty thousand volts in it.
I ain't cutting no power lines. Come on, man, they'll
find my dad ass two blocks away when my shoes
blowed off. Yeah, well, you say you want big money
copper go for three dollars and eighty cents a pound.
Oh yeah, well you heard about the stuff that got
now called weed itself about eight hundred dollars a pound,
(06:18):
and you ain't got to tote it but an ounce
at a time.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
This here gang you to get out the scrap business
and get into weed business. Bossmon go Calvin, what you fight?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:28):
I know, man, Look y'all be careful. I'll catch up
with you next week.
Speaker 8 (06:32):
And that, my friends, is why my people ain't in
no scrap metal gap. This crime has got more white
people in it than the NHL Hall of Fame.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Y'all think about it. Dom, Marvin Webs, Jun Wollam.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
Billy, Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Good morning, and it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Go of this weekend.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It is championship weekend in the college football world, gonna
lay it all out for us.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I had to review last weekend.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Rivalry Week, Rivalry Week, Rivalry Week, Rivalry Week.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I've been practicing, but you still sound like an idiot.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Ye had been Mark packing to pack Man about twenty minutes, Bud.
Speaker 9 (07:56):
Right, Now, we all know history, but that's so much
more we don't know I'm Sir David Attenborough, and this
is unknown history. The year is sixteen twenty. A group
(08:16):
of one hundred weary passengers sailed from England to the
New World aboard the good ship Mayflower. They desperately wait
for the news that land is in sight.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
That's the sign you in the christ desk?
Speaker 9 (08:35):
Do you see land?
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Latin hold?
Speaker 9 (08:43):
His name was Kleine, a rather unusual stowaway, and that
he was a dromedary camel. He was hailed as a
hero and quickly took his place among his fellow pilgrims.
But the early days were not easy. Half the settlement
was lost that first year, and food was scarce. If
(09:07):
we do not get our crops to flourish, the entire
colony will perish. Clyde, I fear the future appears bleak.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
What's that yeare?
Speaker 9 (09:18):
Ask the natives? That's madness. They're savages yew Tonto. You say, yeah, Squanto,
I'm sorry, Could you do the introductions? Yeah? Clyde brought
Squanto before William Bradford. An agreement is profit and soon
(09:39):
there was food a plenty, and the colony slowly struggled back.
In a profound gesture of gratitude. The Pilgrims invited the
Native Americans to a feast of thanks and the tradition
of Thanksgiving was born. We would not be here today
(10:01):
if not for the one known as Clyde. Yeah, that
is the truth, is it not. William Bradford Squatto speaks
the truth. And it's only fitting that Clyde give the prayer.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (10:32):
But things would take a dark turn Clyde became romantically
entangled with Bradford's second wife, Dorothy.
Speaker 10 (10:41):
Oh, Clyde, we cannot continue our illcitrists. I fear my
husband is suspicious. Those hoof shaped bruises on my back
were hard to explain. Yeah, I told him I was
trampled by dear but alas he was unconvinced.
Speaker 9 (10:57):
Yeah, hey hearing, Yeah, all right, one last time, and
it would be the last time. Clyde, Dorothy, my wife,
and my best friend be gone and never return him
or me.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Him.
Speaker 9 (11:18):
Yeah, Clyde left in shame and never returned. No one
knew whatever became of him, but he did.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Resurface years later.
Speaker 9 (11:30):
So I just tie this key to this kite, eh,
But what about this stormy until next time?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
This is Sir.
Speaker 9 (11:41):
David Edinburgh, reminding you that it's not a history that's known,
it's the history unknown.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yet morning, a big show is on your radio.
Speaker 11 (11:56):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life. The suns belly up this everywhere, flying through
the air on blights and bowls and hands. People eat
them with their fingers, their feet, other people's feet.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
It's unbelieve it.
Speaker 12 (12:07):
Oi with a spreads you can't imagine.
Speaker 11 (12:09):
Ribs and chickens and biscuits and whole pigs are a great,
big sticky.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
That's what it's like at the jun Boy of Bully
Pig Show.
Speaker 12 (12:15):
It's a buffet from start to finish. There should be
a cover charge.
Speaker 9 (12:18):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 11 (12:18):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for you faded right cleaning bill, Oh my head,
you canna eat that.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. My
Wonderful Things Giveaway. We're still on number eighty seven. We
was off on Friday and we've gotten together. A Wonderful
Thing give Away always happens on Friday, so I can't
mess with that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yes, I'm telling you there's a chance for you to.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Win those two pre blown wooden train missiles.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
We didn't miss.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's good, did you procrastinators? I know you've been meaning
a good around holding.
Speaker 6 (13:37):
Well.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Your chance is not pre blown after all.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Twenty four seventy two hours from right now, that's how
much time you have left with my pre blown whistles.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
They'll go with good news.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Hat Man and minutes, Big Shoe rolls on. Good Morning,
Big Shows on the radio. Coming up, we play wordy
Word Winter is a Redmax prize pack. Red Max makes
the best commercial trimmers and blowers and now commercial zero
turn moors with a two year unlimited hours warning Kawashawk Engines,
heavy duty fabricated deck, Redmax. What the pros use? Click
(14:18):
on that banner when you go to the Big Show
dot com, Hang on play Ford minutes. Right now, it's
time with a pac Man all things college football, covers,
the college scene, throw us a year round. You catch
them on the TV, the ACC Network from the Big
esp in weekdays four pm. And he told us last
week it is conference championship weekend. Good morning, Mark Packer.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
Good morning John Boy, Billy.
Speaker 13 (14:43):
I hope everybody had a good Turkey holiday and all
that good stuff. You know, we just got through all
these rivalry games, Johnny, Like you said, this week we
start playing for hardware, and last week was all about
bragging rights. But before we start the deep dive for
this week, how about what happened over the weekend? I
mean miracle down there and Auburn Alabama game, the mill
(15:03):
Roe miracle fourth.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
And thirty one? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 13 (15:07):
Alabama completes the pass for the touch, breaking all kinds
of hearts.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
Poor Auburn in a week before.
Speaker 13 (15:13):
They got run out of the building by New Mexico
State had to write them a check for one point
eight million.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
If that one bad enough, Alabama.
Speaker 13 (15:20):
Just rips their hearts out and says, thank you very much,
we'll catch you later. That was crazy. Michigan beat Ohio
State for the third straight year.
Speaker 6 (15:29):
Buckeye fans are.
Speaker 13 (15:30):
Coming up with all kinds of excuses about that was
an intercept. Hey guys, just make a play. I mean,
you know, hardball sitting on the couchuck the rest of
us watching the game. You gotta be good enough to
win one at their head coach. On the other side,
Clemson went down to South Carolina and beat the brains
out of South Carolina. They own them in Columbia, NC State,
Johnny just made a mockery of Mac Brown in North Carolina.
Speaker 6 (15:51):
And Drake May, I mean they killed the tar Heels,
blew them out. The Hokies.
Speaker 13 (15:56):
They're up there in Charlotte till they've owned that series.
They've now won eighteen of nine. Team they win the game,
punched their ticket to go bowling. Florida State's got a
backup quarterback spoted the Gators twelve and the swamp and said, hey,
that's cool, We're gonna blow you away twenty.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Four to three.
Speaker 13 (16:09):
The rest of the way, Knowles are doing their thing,
and the Kentucky upsets Louisville five years in a row.
Of the Wildcats are beating the Cards. The Cards now
have to pick themselves up and get ready to move
forward to play Florida State this weekend in the ACC
Championship Game. So they're just just scratching the surface with
all the craziness which happened over the rivalry games over
(16:30):
the weekend. And by the way, this is the first
time Johnny since nineteen ninety six that no unranked teams
during the regular season knocked off somebody in the AP
Top five.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
It has been that long.
Speaker 13 (16:44):
So we keep talking about we're kind of overdue for
some craziness, right we really haven't had the chaotic weekend.
Maybe it's championship weekend. And with that said, here's what
we got, Johnny Friday Friday, carry me out now Friday.
Huge game in the Pac twelve. Last time we're ever
gonna have the Pac twelve Championship. But it'll be a
(17:04):
good one. And it's a rematch Oregon and Washington. It
was a great game earlier this year. Washington kicking the
field goal at the last second. The winner of this game,
especially if it's Washington in a great spot. Great spot
being the College Football Playoff, which we'll find out on Sunday.
And by the way, it's the first time the Pac
twelve has had an AP Top five showdown since nineteen
(17:26):
seventy six. That is a humongous game. Saturday, Bama Georgia.
Here we go again in the SEC Title game down
in Atlanta. By the way, if Bama wins, they're trying
to be the lowest ranked SEC team to win the
SEC Title since Georgia did it way back in five.
Speaker 6 (17:44):
The Dogs are the favorite.
Speaker 13 (17:45):
They haven't lost the game in Forever Kirby smarts, guys
are really playing well. Florida State Louisville told you about
that game right here in our backyard of Charlotte, North
Carolina for the ACC title. By the way, the last
three years in the ACC Championship game, pitt Wake, Clemson,
North Carolina, Florida State, Louisville. Six different teams playing the
(18:05):
ACC title game over the last three years. No other
league can make that comment. In the terms of Power five,
Big ten, Michigan should beat up on Iowa. Iowa can't score,
but they played great d and then you got Big
twelve Texas in Oklahoma State, so that should be awesome.
Of course, tonight the College Football Playoff, Paul comes out.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
It's really no big deal. I don't care where anybody's.
Speaker 13 (18:26):
Ranked, because you got all these humongous games this weekend
in the championships, and then we will find out on
Sunday who are the four lucky teams that have earned
the right to be in the College Football Playoff and
what all the ball matchups are and all that stuff.
And Johnny is if that wasn't enough, how about the
fact that we got new coaches? How about Texas A
and M. I mean, kind of a crazy weekend for them.
(18:49):
It looked like Mark Steeps was going to be the
guy from Kentucky. All of a sudden, the last second,
fake left, go right and Dukes. Mike Elko gets up
in the middle of the night, heads down where he
came from A and M to have to do, get
an incredible job for the Blue Devils for two years.
He is now the head coach at Texas A and M.
Congratulations to him. He is a he's a big time coach.
So we'll see what happens on that front. But we
(19:10):
got hoops, you got the acc SEC challenge in basketball
the next couple of nights, the men tonight and tomorrow, the.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
Women Wednesday and Thursday.
Speaker 13 (19:18):
So it is a awesome, awesome sports weekend. I mean,
I mean, we got everything you want come up this week.
It's gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Well, he's your doing.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
You are the man pack, all right, buddy, Well you'll
you'll lay it all out for us after we get
through this weekend, like you always do. We can't thank
you enough, my boy.
Speaker 13 (19:35):
All right, you got it in Georgian football and the
hoops and all the other stuff, and who knows Johnny.
By the time we get together again next week, there'll
be some more coaching firing.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
And they'll be they'll be in upset somewhere, and we'll.
Speaker 13 (19:46):
Sit back and try to figure this whole thing out.
But we'll know exactly who's in the.
Speaker 6 (19:49):
College football playoff and we get together next week.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You got it, buddy, Thank you Pack. We appreciate you, buddy.
I have a great rest of your week.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
And all right, boys, you too, thank you that my buddy.
Good deal.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
That is Mark Pack ain't networking at ESPN. Good boy?
All right, Dan, y'all, let's play some wordy word. Let's
leave it all on the field. What about on the carpet?
Okay where we are?
Speaker 5 (20:11):
That sounds even worse.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Well, tame up and play next.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Good Morning.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That's a big show on the radio. Roll into your Tuesday,
November twenty eight. Today's featured track from The Big Show
bed box, The Grumpy Old Man Hates the Holidays. Search
your keywords grumpy Holidays. Thank you, feel a little better
about yourself. Make it to the Big Show dot com
click out on their contest. Mind you can't get there,
we'll call you Meganapple.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
I had everybody's head about the bed, the word.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
A word, and the word a word.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Let's meet the contestants. We got Tom from Cookeville, Tennessee.
Good morning, Tom, Good morning, Jim, Buddy, welcome. And we
got Hope from Albertson, North Carolina. Good morning, Hope, good.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Morning, Hey y'all. Welcome. Then Tom, that's Hope, North Carolina.
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Hope.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
That's Tom Tennessee.
Speaker 14 (21:32):
Howdy from Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
All right, then Hope your own team, Tater and Randy
Tom on the John mooreillaside.
Speaker 15 (21:42):
That's right, So it's alushes the boy.
Speaker 14 (21:45):
I'm glad with Randy's clues last week. I'm listening. Randy's
trying to get someone to say plaster. He says, the
things that walls are made of. I'm screaming at my radio.
Walls are made out of wood in the trailer park.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Well, Tom, me and you gonna go for the first
thirty seconds, Let's show him how to do it. Hope,
you relax and we will better record.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
All right, all right, Tom, here we go. Start the clock. Now.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Ooh, I'm a blank main fighting machine opposite a famine. Yes,
uh huh, all right, don't touch the fire. It will
blank you. Yeah, uh rhymes with it. You put ashes
in one of these on a mantle burn, Yes, rhymes
with that. These are plants you hang, yes, uh huh
(22:35):
rhymes with it.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Take a right.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Turn, yes, rhymes with it.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
You do this to butter.
Speaker 6 (22:43):
Turn.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yes, rhymes where they go to school?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
And yeah, he said learn after and I knew you'd
get down Tom, And that was after the buzzer A
six on the board.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That's the way to do it.
Speaker 14 (22:56):
All right, the best move giver, though you.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Don't have to sup.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Alright, Well, let's see what the girls can do, Hope
and Tater for their round one.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Hope, would you like.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
To say anything? I'm here?
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Okay, all right, that's perfect, great choice.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Start the clock a brand new word, and you're not rhyming.
You're welcome, ready.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Go all right?
Speaker 16 (23:24):
The name for a group of pastas.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
All right, hey, all right?
Speaker 16 (23:29):
This is this is the side of the road that
connects with the sidewalk. It's the what don't hit the
or step up on the yep. This is This is
a drink shaken, not stirred.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
It's a mark.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 16 (23:44):
This is another drink. It has tequila in it and
salt rim and you said, this is a drink that's
made out of tomato, juice and vodka.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Buddy, man, if you got to the liquors sooner. So yeah,
what happened was, well, yeah, what happened there? The word
was pasta and she.
Speaker 16 (24:10):
Said, going to say a group of noodles.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Alright, it before when you all got going, all right,
and gave Tom one.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
So Tom leading by three and he's already cocky. Tome
you up with Billy. Are you ready, yes, sir, and
go a.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
Drink you might have on the beach.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
It's made with coconut and pineapple, and it's white.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
And there you see. This is a drink. It is
made with what is it made with?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Wrong?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Okay, it's a tropical drink. Strawberry is a popular flavor
of it. A strawberry, No, no, girls, order it it is.
Speaker 8 (25:00):
It's like a pina colada type drink.
Speaker 17 (25:02):
It's all right, let's say so one on that seven
a total of eight for Tom, so Hope and Randy
four will tie, five will win.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Okay, are you ready, Hope? Come on all right, and
y'all are still on that last one? Ready?
Speaker 6 (25:24):
Go?
Speaker 15 (25:25):
Do you know what drink he's talking about?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
It's usually.
Speaker 15 (25:29):
No, it's like fruity and made with rum. It's one
of the beach drinks. You're on the right track. It's
it's it's not that one though.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
It's strawberry.
Speaker 16 (25:38):
Underage girls order.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
It, yeah, girl o.
Speaker 15 (25:42):
Right, So you might play this with a friend and
you bat the ball back in the forth over a net,
a different one with a rise of racket.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah no, oh yeah five for hope. Tom wins as
almost like a precursor. Now, hope you can try again
any time, baby, and we want you to do that,
all right?
Speaker 15 (26:14):
All right?
Speaker 10 (26:14):
Man?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Oh, can I give.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
A shout out?
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Of course you can.
Speaker 14 (26:19):
I want to give a shout out to my real Dutton,
Raleigh Dutton, my hobby.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
All right, well, good deal. Hope you have a great
rest of your day. Y'all have a merry Christmas. But
don't talk to you before.
Speaker 18 (26:31):
All right, man, thank you?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
All right then, and Tom look at you over and
cookmal winning big old prize package, show him hog caller.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
It'd work out, buddy, Ready for give a shout out?
Speaker 14 (26:42):
You go ahead, that quick, I make it quick. I
want to give a shout out to the soldiers and
veterans that give us freedom to the police and firefighters
that keep us safe, to the truckers and farmers that
keep us fed and well clothed, and to my lovely
wife Lolita.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Man, you have been on everything makes us happy, man,
I mean not.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I mean except for your watch like that. So good work.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
Yeah, buddy, we're sure she's a nice.
Speaker 14 (27:07):
Woman, but never met she'd make it happy if you
come over for.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
I appreciate y'all listening. Man, I got you, buddy, I
ain't gone morning big shows on the radio. So yeah,
Taylor Bartender to Bartender, it must be the truth.
Speaker 16 (27:26):
Girls, it's a tailtale site.
Speaker 10 (27:29):
They're gonna walk up and go like a Manhattan. You're like,
I'm not gonna card.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
You, so you're just getting like virgin diggeries.
Speaker 10 (27:37):
No I card it would card.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
See they were trying to get away with.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
And Dakers are real fruity and sweet.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, well you should know I do.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
All right.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Good work here, let's move on. We got our requested
bit of the morning today. Jim Franklin gets and says, hey,
I need the number for Ward Burton speech in school.
Ha ha, I played out when please, guys, you've got
a gym coming up next. Good morning, It's big show
(28:31):
on the radio, requesting bit every Monday through Friday, about
this time putting on the wall to John woman of
Facebook page Taty Checks, Jim Franklin, is your request, my
boy out of South Bosston.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Mister Ward Burton, you're a.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
Natural old race car driver.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
You've got the skills, you've got the car, You've even
got the team.
Speaker 5 (28:55):
There's only one missing piece of a puzzle.
Speaker 9 (28:59):
Jeezir, talk out there.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
All that butter Gates was raiding my bumper.
Speaker 9 (29:03):
But this year's Kurt was waking fast Haus games. We did.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
If you're gonna make it in racing, you need a
Southern accent. That's why you need the Ward Burton speech
in school. Whether you're a surfer Dans in California, a
uper from the Upper Midwest, or a jumoke from Joyse,
the Ward Burton speech in school can help.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
That's right, Chuck.
Speaker 18 (29:27):
In just twelve short weeks off special high in census program,
I have you signing like he was born and raised
in the heart of South Boston, Virginia, just like me.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
The Ward Burton speech in school features daily classroom training
by the Master Ward Burton himself.
Speaker 18 (29:42):
Okay, class, repeat after me. This Caterpillar crew did just
a soup a job. Kyl was awesome all day long.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Here's student Joey Pinazio before.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
You, I don't want to be a race car drive.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
And here's Joey after completing the Ward Burton program.
Speaker 11 (30:05):
I'm gonna tell you something right now.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Man, got there the first Martiny long doggie.
Speaker 18 (30:09):
Now, don't let the wrong accents screw up your racing career.
Call me now at one eight hundred five six seven
nine four six seven. That's one eight hundred caskis de siloda.
In just twelve short weeks, you'll be American by birth
and Southern by the grace of Ward the war Burton
speech in school.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Don't delay call today.
Speaker 18 (30:32):
Operators are standing bye oh.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
One, and there's a big sh on the radio. Here
for a few more minutes today with our feature tracked
from the Big Show.
Speaker 12 (31:09):
Bid bucks O jinglely jangly doopey doo. I'm old and
I hate the Holidays. In my day, we didn't have
any hormone. Plump turkey with high fiber stuffing, frozen green
bean cascer roll with phony funions, pre packed pre ten
(31:31):
pure eight potatoes smothered in fat free gravy and sugar
free dingleberry pie for Thanksgiving. We were so poor we
draw straws to get to see who was the lucky
one who got to lick the kitchen floor for dinner,
and seeing how it was a dirt floor and we
kept the hogs indoors, it was a real smrgas board.
(31:56):
Then you'd wipe your mouth with the baby and go
outside and find something to feed the rest of the family.
Generations of inbreeding had left us dumber than the pea
brain credits. We were trying to hunt, so it was
pert near a fair fight. That is until we met
bloodhound Bobby Joe Bergen Yawn. He had those big mud
(32:21):
flap jowls like Nixon, and them big droopy eyes. Them
floppy juggiares of his made him look like that dog
on the Beverly Hillbillies. He could sniff out a booger
on a baby's bib two counties over. He was in
big demand, but he didn't work for money because he
(32:42):
was so but ugly. He couldn't get abroad, so he'd
hold your hunger hostage till you hand over what are
your womenfolk? That was the good thing and a good
thing for you that he wasn't picky. That was also
good for our sister Homily Henrietta. She had snaggledy teeth
(33:04):
and a club foot and a big pointy nose. She
cut her own hair and it was missing in big
chunks even when you dressed her up. She looked like
some sort of prehistoric bird march to go into the
prom after a night a noisy connal hijinks, old bloodhound
would get out in the front yard on all fours
(33:25):
and start sniffing out your next meal. In twenty minutes,
you had more possum muskrat sniping skunk than you could
eat in twenty years. And the big bonus was in
nine months, your sister gave birth to the most hideous
demon child you ever did see, and that meant a
mighty fine Christmas after we sold it for a bundle
to the traveling carnival. Whoop dey, poopy pooh, look at us,
(33:49):
We're a bunch of floor licking cousin humpers pipping out
our sister, the bird girl for a little no pants
dance with a village man dog for a big holiday
platter full of skunk. God bless the pilgrims for bringing
us this. We were thankful. We were grateful, and I
(34:12):
weren't no holly jolly Eggnaggie sugarplum fairy and Teddy burying
very merry and Christmas mornings the only thing dancing in
our heads were the nightmare is about another day of
being alive. We'd wake up Christmas morning in tears, realizing
we'd all survive the night. All thirty seven of us
(34:32):
would crawl out of bed, which was just a big
box on the floor of the outhouse. We had to
stack ourselves like sardines, and you never got any sleep
because someone on the bottom always had to pee, and
you had to keep stacking.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
And unstacking all night long.
Speaker 12 (34:51):
In the morning, we'd all run into the living room
and there weren't no tree neither, just a big viner
cudzu that growed through the window during the year, and
it's head of ornaments. We turned Grandpa.
Speaker 9 (35:02):
Loose on it.
Speaker 12 (35:03):
He had tuberculosis, and when he'd start coffident hacking, we'd
aim him at the vines. Whatever stuck to the tree,
we'd throw glitter on the big chunks before it dried,
and that was the symbol of our glorious holiday, and.
Speaker 9 (35:19):
We didn't have no stockings neither. We'd use that old
hollow human leg we found down by the railroad tracks.
We'd prop it up in the corner, and since we
didn't have no fancy gifts or exotic fruit to put
in it, we'd fill it up with little slips of
paper with.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Words of hope and encouragement on them like kill me.
Speaker 12 (35:37):
Now, or why Lord why, or the other popular aim
for my head. I might be a zombie. Then to
cap off our glorious Christmas day, we got in a barnyard,
stripped naked and make poop angels look at me.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I'm a poop covered neck with dancing around.
Speaker 12 (36:04):
The loogie tree and picking out my holiday wish from
a wino's leg. I'm so happy I could crack whistletoe
and we loved it.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And you can forget all about.
Speaker 12 (36:19):
That old langzhine and dick clock drooling cheap hooch guzzlin
or derv horden ball dropping nonsense. When it was time
for another year to come around, you'd set around and
figure out how much farther ahead in life you'd be
if you weren't such a knuckle dragon mouthbreathing, redneck idiot,
and you'd write down all the mistakes you'd made that
(36:39):
year so you'd.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Never make them again.
Speaker 12 (36:41):
But you couldn't read or write, so it just looked
like a bunch of squiggles, and you'd make them all
the exact same mistakes again the coming year. It was
like a great big loser to do lists. Then at
the stroke of midnight, you and all your dumbest dirt
kid would stand in a big circle. Then you turn
to your left and start kicking the ass directly in.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
Front of you.
Speaker 12 (37:00):
You'd keep doing that until you broke your foot and
got a hemiroid. Then you'd go outside and stand in
the middle of the road and pray that someone would
invent the car so they could mow you down and
put an end to this what that ex cycle of
misery known as your life.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Hey, look at me, whooped de doo.
Speaker 12 (37:17):
I'm a terminal loser with a broke foot in a
hemiroid like a party horn. Let's hear it for baby,
new year, here comes another three hundred and sixty five
days a living life in the stupid lane.
Speaker 9 (37:29):
And we liked it.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
We loved it.
Speaker 12 (37:33):
Ahfinity Dinity twoty two toot, I hate the.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Holidays, Lets me anybody.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Bed Box is here all your favorites from four decades
at the Big Show ninety nine says each fifteen for
nine ninety nine. Buy them once, play them anywhere. Shop
bitbox online. After Big Show dot Com you can order
Big Show Stuff I phone the numbers eight hundred and
four seven to one Stuff online services by Animate dot Com.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Run me old man, heage holidays. Just heard sirs, Ricky,
weren't grumpy holidays? You want to put down on your
Christmas album? There you go to the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
A y'all, we'll see you tomorrow. We love it and
we made it.
Speaker 14 (38:10):
Next time, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and
come in tomorrow, so if you could be here, that
would be great.
Speaker 6 (38:20):
Okay, thanks, okay,