BONUS - Therapists vs TikTok: 7 Therapy Buzzwords They Want You to Stop Using

Are you really setting a boundary… or just making a dramatic exit? In this episode, The Jubal Show dives into the most misused therapy phrases trending on TikTok—and why actual therapists are begging people to stop saying them. From “If they wanted to, they would” to “I’m an empath,” the team unpacks what these phrases really mean, when they’re helpful, and when they’re just emotional red flags dressed in Instagram quotes.

If you’ve ever ghosted someone in the name of “self-care” or blamed your partner for not being a mind reader, this one’s for you. Let’s talk mental health, nuance, and the dangers of pop psychology going viral.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you gone through something traumatic now and is there
to be too expensive?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, have you tried making a TikTok one is that's divorced?

Speaker 3 (00:11):
After my family dog died, my parents said it should
have been me.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
But what they didn't though is I was recording them.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
I got tons of followers and revenge.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Why tell one therapist your problems that you could tell
the world. That's true advertising for TikTok. It's a jewbile
show and the only place anybody gets advice from anymore
is on TikTok. And if you haven't gone on TikTok
in the last five seconds, because everybody's on TikTok.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
All the time.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Therapy is a huge thing on TikTok, and therapists have
released a list of the phrases that they wish people
would stop saying on TikTok. Okay, and then we'll go
over them right now.

Speaker 5 (00:48):
You're thinking was helping too, But if they're using it wrong,
that's the problem.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
I think that is the problem is most of the
people that are handing out therapy advice on TikTok are
not actual therapists, and they're people like this.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I think the waiter forgot our water. He's gaslighting us.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
That's what that's gaslighting.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
That is a pie. You can't hold space for us.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
I literally I hold space all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I'm holding everybody all the time. Like right now, I'm
holding the handicapped space. Yes, I'm holding it for me,
for someone with a handicapp No, it's self care with it.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
Self care is important.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
But the phrases that therapists are begging people to stop
using on TikTok, I'll tell you what the number one
is in the second, but here's one. Cut them off,
no explanation needed.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
Isn't that good for you? Because that's not a bad.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Thing, that's cult behavior.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Well, it says sometimes an explanation can be helpful. Ghosting
isn't self care. It's just confusing and emotionally immature. Not
everything is a snip snip energy moment. Okay, this is.

Speaker 5 (01:48):
Kind of frustrating because I think that sometimes you do
need to do that, just cut them off, yes, because
otherwise you put yourself in a situation where you could
be going into a spiral. But I'm only speaking from experience,
not from psychology.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
I agree with you.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Not everybody deserves an explanation, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
But don't you need like that cut off where it's
like that you like you're communicating with them, Because I
do understand where they say it's like more immature in
a sense of like kind of like closing the book,
like don't ghost them.

Speaker 5 (02:16):
But at the end of the day, you're protecting your
own piece. I don't have to worry about you. Oh
if I do, then I could be putting myself in
a situation where I'm exerting more energy. I don't know, man,
I use a lot of these words because I think
that they make sense.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
There is a time and a place for doing these things.
I'm assuming.

Speaker 6 (02:32):
But it's just like people will do this at the
drop of a hat because some dummy who has a
course on TikTok and no credentials told them too.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
And I think, you know, explanation needed can depend right,
Like people don't want to have the I'm breaking up
with you conversation on a text or whatever, right right,
But at the end of the day, if there's the
relationship is bad and you can't sit down with the
person to have a conversation with them, you send them
a text and say it's over, and then you've communicated
it and then you just don't respond. That's the hard

(03:02):
part is not respond.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
You have to block them, protect your piece. Oh dang
that or other person is going what does that happen?

Speaker 5 (03:10):
But if you're getting blocked, you, if you're getting blocked,
you did something to deserve it. Oh you know what
I mean? You can't say poor other person when the
chances are they're the one that drove you crazy and
it made you block them in the first place.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Another thing that therapists are asking people to stop doing
on TikTok, I'm an EmPATH, so blank.

Speaker 5 (03:32):
Okay, okay, I think I hate this conversation because the
thing is, if you are somebody that identifies as an impath, wait,
what is hand? I'm raised over here? You're somebody that
picks up on other people's energy. Also, like when you
walk into a room, if there's a lot of stuff
going on, you probably feel it and it can get
a little bit overwhelming for you.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
So you have to learn how to tune it down.

Speaker 5 (03:53):
Now, while I understand it can be reckless to have
people like prescribing things and talking about, you know, therapy
and a certain way, it's kind of comforting to hear
other people experience the same things you do, especially for
other people that say that they are empaths or you know,
we're going through a breakup or cut somebody off. Like,
I think there's positive things that come with this.

Speaker 6 (04:13):
I think the issue here is everyone wants to be special,
and there's a difference between having empathy, which is what
we should all have, and being quote end quote an EmPATH.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Empathy is something that everybody should have. It would be
interesting on TikTok go. Yeah, I don't have any I'm
not an impath at all. I don't care what a
great account idea that because I hear the word impath
is thrown around so much on social media. It really is.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
But that's so sack.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
I think it's because a lot of people also just
don't care, which is sad.

Speaker 5 (04:41):
But when some people truly do feel so much and
they don't know what that means, I think you feel
I do. Yeah, that's why that's something.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
But Nina, if the shoe doesn't fit, do not wear it?

Speaker 4 (04:50):
What do you mean if this?

Speaker 2 (04:51):
If it's gonna upset you, like, if you are that,
then you should be mad about It's fine. They're telling
people who are not this to be that, to not
do that?

Speaker 4 (04:59):
Oh are you really?

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (05:01):
Yeah, they're not saying you shouldn't be getting upset right now.
You should be like, yeah, stop doing that.

Speaker 5 (05:04):
That's mine, Okay, I should say that.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
You know what I'm saying, that's mine.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
I'm good at saying that.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
The word therapists are sharing things that they wish people
would stop saying on TikTok because everybody's a therapy expert
on TikTok, and the actual experts are asking people to
stop saying these things. They're usually saying them wrong. I'm
setting a boundary don't contact me ever again, right, Not
a boundary. That's a dramatic exit line, they say, which
also has its place, yes, but.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
It is not a boundary. H.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
The boundary is also thrown around a TikTok like crazy.
A boundary is never about telling somebody else what to do.
It's just what you'll do, right, Yeah, it's Hey, if
you contact me, I will not be responding.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
That's about.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
If you contact me three times, I will block you.
If you contact me seventeen times in a row, I
will polls. That's a boundary, right. A boundary is not
like you can't contact me because you can't control another person.
Like right, they can contact you what they want, but
what are you gonna do? Yeah, and then sticking to
the boundary is the hard thing.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
And that's why blocking helps you sometimes.

Speaker 5 (06:02):
And if you can't stick to your own boundaries, hit
the block button.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
It's another phrase that therapists would like people to stop
saying on TikTok. It's not my job to teach them
how to love me, they say, But you need to
communicate your needs. Being a mind reader looking for mind
readers is not going to get you successful in love.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
I agree with this one.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
The number one thing that therapists are asking people to
stop saying on TikTok is if they wanted to, they would.

Speaker 5 (06:36):
But if they wanted to, what am they is the
therapy talk?

Speaker 4 (06:41):
Or is that just common sense?

Speaker 6 (06:43):
It's also just not true, right? What about life circumstances?
What do you mean think about something? If they wanted to,
they would. Victoria's wanted to go to Spain forever, hasn't
want you would?

Speaker 3 (06:54):
I don't want it.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
If you want, you.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
Have sick days, you have personal dane.

Speaker 5 (07:04):
Do I just know Spain?

Speaker 2 (07:05):
No, that's not the point. My point is you would.
It's a nonsense phrase.

Speaker 6 (07:11):
It's an easy way to boil down the fact that
they're not doing exactly what you want them to do,
discounting the fact that they have life circumstances right.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Also, human behavior is complex. Yeah, so somebody could really,
really really want to love you like you want to
be loved. They also might not have the capacity because
they don't know their own stuff yet, So they might
inside really want to but they just keep failing and
they can't do it. But if that's for them to
work on themselves and for you to be like, well,

(07:39):
I can't be with them because they don't know how
to love me.

Speaker 5 (07:42):
But sometimes I think that people tell themselves that narrative
to make it easier to not worry about understanding where
they're coming from, so that they can block it out
so you don't have to feel it.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, that's the problem, TikTok.

Speaker 6 (07:52):
Everything gets boiled down to four words instead of understanding
humans and nuance.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Therapists added on, have you ever wanted to clean your
room and still didn't?

Speaker 2 (07:59):
Exactly right?

Speaker 3 (08:01):
You have also wanted to ending at some point, so