May 21, 2025 • 23 mins
Beomhan and Dr. Belinda Narine mental health specialist discuss mental health and Beomhan’s personal traumas.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everybody, and welcome back to The K Factor Everything
k Pop, a podcast hosted by me Bomhan and I
(00:20):
am a former K pop trainee slash former idol who
uh did tours and performances around the country. And kind
of a continuation from last week's episode, this is going
to be a episode about mental health, mental health in
the industry of K pop, and as promised, we have
a very very special guest here today talking about herself
(00:42):
and also my very specific situation. I'm going to give
a quick intro of our guest today. Our guest, Belinda,
is a dual Oh my gosh, these are way bigger
words than I am a custom too. This is why
I do not have a degree. Our guest today is Belinda,
who is a dual Board certified adult and psychiat mental
health nurse practitioners specializing in anxiety depression by polar disorder
(01:05):
OCD and ADHD. She provides inclusive, patient centered care that
integrates psychopharmacology and therapy. Her co owned, rem certified practice
offers intrizzle, ketamine and FDA approved ADHD neuropsychological testing.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Killed it, killed it, Okay, point.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Everybody, please welcome Belinda. Thanks you thank you and welcome
to the K Factor.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Thank you pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Okay, well, is there anything that you wanted to add
to this bio, anything that you wanted the audience to
know about you.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, we also or for services to schizophrenia as well. Okay,
it's effective disorder. That's pretty much you covered everything. A
lot of people, you know, voweling a lot of anxiety
depression by polar disorder now where they have these things
going on. So and we also do make sure that
with our whole work of any psychiatric disorders that we
also include a full organic like medical work up to
(02:02):
make sure there's no medical conditions happening. Because a lot
of times people think they have ADD or ADHD or
anxiety depression and your thyroid function is off, or your
farentin levels are off, or your vitamin d's in the
toilet and that's why you're having symptoms. So we do
a whole service of care when you come to our
office and you get all out work done before we
even start you on certain things in medications. So we
do well visits, integrated psychiatry, holistic psychiatry, and then we
(02:25):
really need to tack on real mence. We do that
as well.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I think it's cool that you mentioned that, like a
lot of people go on with their whole lives like
not knowing that they have these things right for sure. Yeah,
Like how often does someone come to your session and
they just like they just like they're venting and then
you're like, oh, wait, this is actually this, this is
actually that.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
A lot of times that happens. Well, unfortunately, you know,
stigma plays a lot of roles, and culture plays a
lot of roles. So I even have many patients in
mind that are like, well, what when you brint the
package at the house, is it going to say something
that has to do with like psychiatry on it. She
happens to be from Nigeria and parents are very anti
you know, mental health. Get it. I come from a
Caribbean background. They get it too, However they took time
(03:02):
for them to get it. Over time, however, what happens
is I have a lot of patients that have come
to me and say, hey, listen, I've been having the
sun on set of like these mood disorders, or I've
been having like I've been snapping. I have this I
have that you know, you know, I get really really
anxious in social situations, and I'll always take it from
the top wind to the start because psychiatry is very
based on timeframe. So some people vibe I had ADHD
since you know, I was a kid. No, you're actually
(03:23):
battling anxiety because if you can't concentrate, you know, you
could be anxious. If you can't focus, you could be anxious.
But it's easy to take on, you know, tackle like
add or ADHD, you know, because it's just easier, you know.
But you know that's why we do neuropsychological testing. You
have add No, you're just anxious. Maybe you know your
favorits and levels. You know, the blood work is a
little bit off, which can mimic a lot of sign
and symptoms of some psychiatric disorders. So a lot of
(03:45):
times when especially when you have a sudden onset of symptoms,
I have a lot of patients that will come to
me and like, you know, all of a sudden, you know,
I've had like these weird voices. Now, yeah, well no
that's not from childhood. That's something that's really acute, that's
kind of happening. So we'll definitely work them up. In
a lot of things that are missed, especially in a
lot of women of Asian descent or if we have
any like how black women or Hispanic. There's a lot
(04:05):
of order. Immune diseases play a lot of significant roles
in white patients experience her and symptoms. So for a
sudden onset and you're having like hearing, you're not supposed
to have that A lot of times like a psychiological factors,
a lot of on immune diseases, if they manifest and exacerbate,
can actually mimic a lot of psychiatric features. There was
a big, big story actually on Suffolk County, a young
lad named Ape Barrel. It's all over the news, so
(04:27):
it's not even like a secret I'm not. There's no
hippop combines issue. And she was twenty one. She has
a psychotic break. She was catatonic, She wasn't really talking
to anyone. She had like hearing voices, seeing things a
number and she was institutionalized for ten years. There was
a resident actually he was actually from Korea as a
matter of fact, that did his medical school rotation. He
did it there and then he actually came back after
(04:49):
his residency to wonder why she was still institutionalized after
ten years. She had what they call order mune and ccephalitis,
and it came from lupis, and unfortunately, a lot of
lupus and ccephalitis actually mimics a lot of psychotic features.
She was on ivy ibu violence, she was on pretizone,
she was on an older measuge you would use for
someone who has lupus simple, So you have to totally
(05:09):
work up your patient before you just jump into a
true diagnosis. And that's what we do it all. That's
what makes us very different. We have our primary care
on site, work things all the way up, and once
we get a clear note, then we start intervening.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
That's super interesting that you say that, because I actually
had a really poor experience with like approaching this in
the past, which is why I'm kind of like like
right now, I'm like terribly nervous, Like I'm like shaking almost.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
You really got a good sugarcoating like this.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, So it's like I'm glad to see that you
put so much care into your practice.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Congratulations, thank you, thank you. My dad would be proud
of you with you because I was the last one.
I was the menace. You know, what do you do
with yourself? I'm like I don't know, so I wind
up being the good one in the end.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You know, I think a lot of creatives also go
through their lives without like really kind of attributing like
any of like the things kind of how do I
say that's like a I don't want to say there's
something wrong with them. But there's a lot of people
like creative in the field, like especially in Korea because
of the culture and like distigmatism, Like they don't approach
(06:14):
the topic of mental health, and they'll go their whole
life without like knowing that there's something that could be
there absolutely like seeking help. So like, I think your
openness to approaching it can like change a lot of
things in the future, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yep, myham and I have a lot of different patients
that are of all the sense and I have a
few from Korea, and I know some get it, some don't.
But you know, again, neither one of my parents were educated,
you know, they came from the next country. They pushed
us all through school. My mother could you know, she
be like, oh, can you read this from me? She's like,
so I put all you guys through school. So again,
but the ignorance is just not there. So sometimes when
I approach my mom a certain things that say certain things.
(06:48):
They automatically say, it's worst, it's crazy, she's nuts, she's insane.
I'm like, no, no, you don't know, don't know that.
So sometimes people are balanced certain things because they think, oh,
it's demonic or it's this, it's that, and I'm like, no,
it's not. She really has a psychiatric disorder, you know,
I mean, it really is true. And then you go
into family history. And sometimes when I take family history
and take from my initial patients, I have to be
(07:09):
very mindful because they don't know. If somebody asks me,
anybody your household had many you know, mom and dad
had anxiety depression. No, their answer, well, you need to work,
they're lazy. You don't you have anxiety presion because you don't
want work. You know, you don't want to get a job.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
That was my parents' response. So sometimes they don't know
the family history and family history plays a significant role,
especially with you know, and anxiety depression, especially with like
bipolar sword and schizophrenia, and they're like no, not really,
and suicide you know is major, you know, and a
lot of times people think, oh, you're a coward, if
you're suicidal. I don't think Miss America was a coward.
I don't think the CEO of you know, bed Beth
(07:42):
and Beyond was a coward. I don't think Anthony Bourbin
Boarding was a coward. Kate Spade wasn't a coward. So
that heaviness is internal, you know what I mean? And
that's why me as a provider, I try to yeah, yeah, okay.
And on top of that, it's not a state. I
hate when people say, oh, you're a coward. No, you're
not a coward. You are feeling things that people could
only internalize what's happening with them. And that's why I
(08:03):
always tell my patients, I would rather rather hear your
story than attend your funeral, So please open up. And
I always create a safe space for all my patients,
no matter what color, what you choose to do behind
closed doors. And I always say you always analyze the
messenger before you analyze the message. People could say things.
Do things hurt you? Where's it coming from? Are you
transferring aggression? Are you transferring itemssia? Are you dealing with
(08:24):
post traumatic stress disorder? Do you have a lot of
childhood trauma? I know that some of the ex boyfriends
that I've had, Like, you have a lot childhood trauma.
That's why you're weird, you know what I mean. But again,
I look at the whole picture. But unfortunately you don't
have many people that do that, and suicide is our
major major. I just went to the Nami Walk on
Sunday and South Street Seaport and to hear how many therapists, doctors,
nurses lost someone to suicide. And we're talking about professionals.
(08:47):
They look like you and I. They're not disheveled, they're
not you know, not groomed and not taking showers. Those
are the easy ones to pick out because you can
help them. They identified Miss America was Miss America. Who
would thinks you would leave from the top of the building.
No one. That's why I always say check on your
happy and healthy friends. And I'm a personal and being
completely transparent. I lost my I'm always the one to
get everybody together, So I lost my dad. I battled
(09:09):
with a lot of significant loaws, feeling like dark and out.
I felt like nobody was there to help me, and
I felt like I wish I could trade places with him.
I was going through that, going with that emotion, that's
suicide ideations. I would go to work, mind you. I
worked through COVID. I was doing death certificates ten of shift,
at twelve hour shifts. I was writing deertificates for coworkers.
Had no problem. You're a battle PTSD if you work
in the household with SA many deaths that you saw.
(09:30):
But when it hits home, it's different. I went to
work the whole time, no problem, no issues, and people
are like, wow, you were real. Yeah, seven days a
week suicidal, just thinking like wow, if I could just help.
And I felt like it was my fault. And I
think the only reason why you and I having a
conversation today is because I have a son because I
feel like I couldn't do that to him, so I
make sure you have some kids.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I felt like it was my fault, and I
felt like things were my fault. And you're newer transmitted
in your brain just go all over the place. They
stop working after a while when you have a significant impact,
no what it no matter what it was. It could be.
It could be a death, it could be a bad relationship,
it could be a financial hardship, it could just be bidy.
This morphie. We don't know. Everybody battle things differently, And
I always say that I'm glad that I was able
to kind of take that grip and something allowed me
(10:17):
to be able to sit with you today. But I
always say that, don't thank you for being here.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah, beyond everything, thank you for being here today too.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And like even when you were talking about like oh,
like clocking in seven days a week and Algy like
she's she's she's killing it right now. But then like actually,
like at home, it's like all these thoughts and like
like hip hop idols, like like we go through like
these schedules that are like twenty hours long, and then
it's like, oh okay, then it's just the next day.
That is the next day, and you never really know
what someone's dealing with. Yep.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I always say that I'm such a firm belief in
that I go to work. I'm like, this person is balance,
a little bipolar. This one doesn't know she's getting you straight.
This one actually doesn't. She's having bodies more. Everybody's got
stuff going on. I get it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
However, just walking around, these red flags are clicking all
this time, and.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I'm like, you know what. But you know, fortunately a
lot of times, you know, put it this way. The
chief of psychiatry, I believe it. Yeah, I'm not sure
if he's still there. Who runs the whole school of medicine.
He is a borderline s gets effective disorder. So people
who bad in this meltal are very intelligent, especially someone
like myself who has ADD. You know, although if I
just blame it all, I'm just busy. I'm no, No,
(11:21):
you have ADD It's okay, you know what I mean,
It's okay, But myself and other people battle ADD or ADHD.
We don't have dope mean that brain, so we have
less dopening, so we have to create it from somewhere,
whether it's from adderall or whether it's from vitamin dB six.
We are high functioning, and people think that, well, you
have good grades, so you don't have ADD. No, that's
not the case. It doesn't manifest like that because we don't.
(11:41):
We don't have much dope in our brain, and we
have to overcompensate. That's what make us so intelligent.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh. I remember when I first took medication to kind
of like help treat the ADHD a bit, I felt
this huge weight that was like lifted off my shoulder.
I was like, wait, this is how regular people live, right, Wow, you.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Actually were able to start that on time and finish
it on time.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I was like, wait, I can just do it. I
have some close family members who kept going with their
lives for like a similar reason. And when I found
myself like a couple of years ago, like I was
at like the edge of a building and like things
are just like so autopilot and going on and on
and on until I was like, Okay, this doesn't matter,
(12:22):
and then this doesn't matter, and then like I kind
of reached my last doesn't matter. And when I woke
up in that moment, I was at the edge of
the building and then like what there was like a
kind of like a battle, like a tug of war.
At that moment, it was like okay, if I go
right now, who cares? And in my head, like it
(12:45):
was so deranged that I was like no one because
I was going through like a whole bunch of internet
bullying at that time, where like I had like a yeah,
it's like like all like the negative thoughts I had
about myself were like confirmed for the first time, and
like an outside source you know, gotcha. And then I
was dealing with like a death of a family member.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
That's so heavy because death is finalsclan, and you don't
mean just shut them off, block them. You know, it's
very easy, but you know this, this will be the
mom but just do this, just turn it off, this match, ny,
but death is final. You know, certain things are just final.
And I always tell people that my son was believed
that a lot in high school and unfortunately due to
the fact of you know, complexion of skin is unfortunate.
(13:25):
But okay, fine, whatever, He's totally fine. Now he goes
Then while he's great, he's doing well, he's worried about
his curls and his hair stupid stuff. But again, he
was going through that. No one would understand that, but you.
So when people try to come to you or come
at you from the outside, always remember that's why they're outside.
They need to stay there. They're not in your inner circle.
They're not in your unitary human being. They're not inside.
And honestly tell you to you know, thank god you
(13:47):
were unsuccessful, because we've gonna have this conversation right now.
You want to be as awesome as you are, and
thank god, you know, I mean your parents, you know
what I mean. I always look at what we leave behind,
and we always say they're going to suffer, you know,
but sometimes when you're in that moment, and statistics have
shown that a lot of patients who have attempted to
take their life, unfortunately and if they wanted to change
(14:07):
their mind or it's almost within seconds and sometimes they're
able to kind of get out that, thank god. Yeah,
and then some unfortunately successful they were successful with suicide
doesn't go well together. But I'm just trying to make
it sound you know what I mean, But you know, unfortunate.
That's a very small ratio, and a lot of times
show your small ratio.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Thank you for saying that, because in that moment, it
was at an airport, like I was a mid schedule
and I just like I stepped away from the group
and then like one of the workers like saw me
and was like it was a really nice day today.
And I looked up and I was like, oh, that's
pretty nice, ADHD.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I was like, wait, what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And then I sat down and then I talked to
the person and like we had like a cry, and
then like I and then I came back down and
I continue with like my life, I guess. But then
I was still like calling like hotlines and still all
this stuff. But I felt like and validated a little
bit because I was like, oh, like, oh, was it fake?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Right?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
You know, It's like, oh, I could just get off
like that, right, you know, So like you're saying that, like, oh,
it could just change at any moment.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Literally seconds. Patients would be at that point and then
before they wanted up like yeah, I'm like, yeah, it
happened a lot all the time, and they've done studies
on it and it's show them to be proven and
a lot of times, especially when you have, unfortunately have
patients that have multiple attempts, whether it be for whatever
different reasons it is. You know, people have multiple attempts
and things of that sort. Some people are battling, they're
(15:30):
getting raped at home from family members and stuff, and
they're like why are they why do they want to
take their life? You don't know what they're battling. That
person is like messed up for life, you know, so
they'd rather just be on the other side because they
feel it's more comfortable. And I always tell patients, you know,
have I had a few my patients that unfortunately that
was successful, you know, unfortunately taking their life. It bothers
me to it today because like why didn't you call me?
(15:51):
Why don't you call them like you call them for
everything else. We feels on this, We fools on that
why don't you call me? And the one just the
one time I didn't answer or the one time they
didn't reach out is heavy. So I always look at
the fact that when they did that, never point anybody
as being a coward. It's very painful.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Then, may I ask, what do you what would you
say to that to the people, because for me, I
wanted help. I wanted help so bad, and like one
bad thing that I did was I didn't know where
to ask for help or how to ask for help,
and I would do it in stupid ways. And like
(16:29):
like one thing that happened on the internet was like
I would I would self harm and then I would
go on live and like intentionally like not show, like
like not wear sleeves and all these things, just hoping
someone would check on me because I was so alone
in like Korea and all these things, and like the
schedules were NonStop. I didn't have any time to like
ask for help, and then like the people around me
(16:49):
like I'll just kind of like drop hints. I'll be
like really sucks, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And they're looking at you like yoka, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Right, because like I didn't ask for their permission to
like kind of listen to me in that moment, you know.
So like for these people who are kind of like
they're just acting out or like like people around them
are like seeing them as being weird, like what is
the best way to be Okay, stop doing this instead,
do this so we'll see instead.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
And I always tell they have to be able to
understand that barrier. They have to be able to let
that guard down. I know, you have to have boundaries,
but when it comes to boundaries of harming yourself, of
being in a psychotic phase or just having that significant depression,
no one could really read minds unfortunately, you know, because
you thought someone would probably pay attention, and some people
are so caught up in your image that they're just like, oh, no,
he's gonna be fine, this is going to be good,
(17:34):
no big deal. You have to be able to come
to grips with yourself and say, hey, listen, you know
I need to go ahead and ask for help for
resources because sometimes you just don't know me. I offer
resources because my patients come to me. I'm like, hey,
guess what if I don't ask my phone you feel
this way, call this, this, this, this is this, and
then you have four numbers when you have this, this,
this is There's so many ways to get in touch
with me, my assistant, my business partner, so many people,
(17:55):
so many different therapists that I have I communicate, but
a lot of different therapists that also have emergency lines
on top of everything across the America. That's could cool, Like,
you know, so many resources. I mean, I can only
be justified for the States because we have so many
ways to get in touch with someone. In the event
you could just three one one, you call nine one one,
you can cool. It's so many ways. It's so many
(18:16):
ways to not dial that number. But you're not going
to dial that number if you're feeling like embarrassed or
you feel you can't. So that's where that therapy kind
of comes in, you know, And that's we're talking to you.
If you could confide in a friend. Sometimes I believe
in that. Sometimes I don't because you're getting a problem
with the friend and your business on the street. You know,
you get a real dedicated if that was we can't
(18:38):
tell your business drink and that's our license, you know.
But I always say, try your best even if you can,
you know, even do anonymous things are as anonymous things
on Facebook. There's things that be to communicate about.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Ye, no seek professional hope. I remember I remember asking
my sister and she was just go crash out, dude,
and I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Did you jump yet? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Are you still jumping?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
You know? No?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
No? Sorry? So sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I think I think what's cool? Is uh something that's useful?
That was for me was like this isn't the answer,
you know, like, before you get to this answer, this
ultimate answer, try this, this, this, and that. Here's forty
five things in between. You get through all these things
and your life still sucks. Here's another forty five because
(19:28):
this is not the answer, correct, right, And like I
had to build these middle steps from scratch because I
was jumping straight. So I was like, oh, I'll just
don't kill.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Myself, right exactly. You build a gratitude list. You see
how much okay, things that you're like Wow, I actually
did this. I did it. I did it. Things to
just be grateful for. You don't even realize just the
fact they're able to get them and have a conversation,
you know. And I'm not telling you to be this
whole religious person and believe in God, because everybody's very
different with what they believe in. If you want to
be spiritual, what have you? Just think about the simplest things,
(19:59):
Like you know, some people can't even just feed themselves,
and they have their complete faculties, then they're totally alert
in oriented times ten they're able to kind of converse
with everyone, but they can't even just take a fork
and just eat. And we're just worried about the fact
that I'm hitting a microphone, so we can't even move
their extremities. So I always try myself my best to
go ahead and just make a gratitude isst be thankful
for things that you have and then give yourself some credit.
(20:20):
A lot of us battle a lot of imposter syndrome,
which is bad. It's like, you know, why am I
hearing up? Because you're awesome. That's why you're here, that's why,
That's why you're dope, That's what it is one money.
I'm young, and how come I have all these follow
because you are who you are that you you didn't
get you need any handouts. You did what you did.
You you work like you know what I mean. So
so hold on to that. You're dope, that's it, That's
what it is. I'm just lying, that's it, you know,
(20:40):
taking what it is. And that's why once you realize
what you've done and what you work hard for, you
sacrifice for, you might think twice like you don't really
want to end up, keep my life going a little
bit longer, enjoy, you know, and then the extend it
becomes like a thing in the brain that kind of
just also and that positive self talk back talk with you.
So I talk to myself in the mirror all the time.
My mother's probably this girls, and I know I'm just
talking to myself. That's all it is.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Mm hmm, just kind of like digesting that like form
my current situation. I don't care if I talk about
myself of it.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You can talk about yourself. This is your show.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
This is my show. Wow, Okay, okay, so you guys
have problems start a show.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I think a lot of that empowerment. That self empowerment
were like, Okay, you know what, I did work hard
for this. You know, I'm gonna stand up for myself.
I don't know where I went wrong in handling that.
So these things have have happened along my career like
a bunch of times. So the first time I started
dealing with like the waves of hate and all this stuff,
(21:52):
I was like, oh, okay, time to die because I
care about this, you know, and I'm doing this for
you and you don't care about it. And like I
associate my identity my worth to my job and like
all these things, and it's like if that's nothing, then
I'm nothing. And if I'm nothing, then I should die, right.
(22:14):
And it's like it's like I also like grew up
like wanting to be like a good guy and like
defeat the bad guys. And you're telling me that I'm
the bad guy. So I'm gonna take him out. I'm
gonna do this for you guys, you know. And I
realized that over the years. This was around twenty twenty
(22:34):
twenty one maybe, so it's been like a couple of
years now and throughout those years, like like kind of
going through that and then trying to build those systems,
those in betweens. I realized I was like, Okay, I
need to establish my worth outside of my work. I
need to go live life. I need to see what
I believe and see what I value and all these things.
(22:55):
And I fear that I may have gone too far.
And it's like it happened again recently, which is why
we were kind of just kind of topic that we
wanted to talk about, because I had like this huge
crash out on the internet because like I felt so
justified in the things that I was doing. I was like, Okay,
(23:16):
I worked hard to be here. Hello, guys, sorry to interrupt.
Is bum behind here. If you guys are enjoying the episode,
please tune in next week for the second part.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Of this episode where we finish off the top. Thank you.
Hello everybody, and welcome back to The K Factor Everything
k Pop, a podcast hosted by me Bomhan and I
(00:20):
am a former K pop trainee slash former idol who
uh did tours and performances around the country. And kind
of a continuation from last week's episode, this is going
to be a episode about mental health, mental health in
the industry of K pop, and as promised, we have
a very very special guest here today talking about herself
(00:42):
and also my very specific situation. I'm going to give
a quick intro of our guest today. Our guest, Belinda,
is a dual Oh my gosh, these are way bigger
words than I am a custom too. This is why
I do not have a degree. Our guest today is Belinda,
who is a dual Board certified adult and psychiat mental
health nurse practitioners specializing in anxiety depression by polar disorder
(01:05):
OCD and ADHD. She provides inclusive, patient centered care that
integrates psychopharmacology and therapy. Her co owned, rem certified practice
offers intrizzle, ketamine and FDA approved ADHD neuropsychological testing.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Killed it, killed it, Okay, point.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Everybody, please welcome Belinda. Thanks you thank you and welcome
to the K Factor.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Thank you pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Okay, well, is there anything that you wanted to add
to this bio, anything that you wanted the audience to
know about you.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, we also or for services to schizophrenia as well. Okay,
it's effective disorder. That's pretty much you covered everything. A
lot of people, you know, voweling a lot of anxiety
depression by polar disorder now where they have these things
going on. So and we also do make sure that
with our whole work of any psychiatric disorders that we
also include a full organic like medical work up to
(02:02):
make sure there's no medical conditions happening. Because a lot
of times people think they have ADD or ADHD or
anxiety depression and your thyroid function is off, or your
farentin levels are off, or your vitamin d's in the
toilet and that's why you're having symptoms. So we do
a whole service of care when you come to our
office and you get all out work done before we
even start you on certain things in medications. So we
do well visits, integrated psychiatry, holistic psychiatry, and then we
(02:25):
really need to tack on real mence. We do that
as well.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I think it's cool that you mentioned that, like a
lot of people go on with their whole lives like
not knowing that they have these things right for sure. Yeah,
Like how often does someone come to your session and
they just like they just like they're venting and then
you're like, oh, wait, this is actually this, this is
actually that.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
A lot of times that happens. Well, unfortunately, you know,
stigma plays a lot of roles, and culture plays a
lot of roles. So I even have many patients in
mind that are like, well, what when you brint the
package at the house, is it going to say something
that has to do with like psychiatry on it. She
happens to be from Nigeria and parents are very anti
you know, mental health. Get it. I come from a
Caribbean background. They get it too, However they took time
(03:02):
for them to get it. Over time, however, what happens
is I have a lot of patients that have come
to me and say, hey, listen, I've been having the
sun on set of like these mood disorders, or I've
been having like I've been snapping. I have this I
have that you know, you know, I get really really
anxious in social situations, and I'll always take it from
the top wind to the start because psychiatry is very
based on timeframe. So some people vibe I had ADHD
since you know, I was a kid. No, you're actually
(03:23):
battling anxiety because if you can't concentrate, you know, you
could be anxious. If you can't focus, you could be anxious.
But it's easy to take on, you know, tackle like
add or ADHD, you know, because it's just easier, you know.
But you know that's why we do neuropsychological testing. You
have add No, you're just anxious. Maybe you know your
favorits and levels. You know, the blood work is a
little bit off, which can mimic a lot of sign
and symptoms of some psychiatric disorders. So a lot of
(03:45):
times when especially when you have a sudden onset of symptoms,
I have a lot of patients that will come to
me and like, you know, all of a sudden, you know,
I've had like these weird voices. Now, yeah, well no
that's not from childhood. That's something that's really acute, that's
kind of happening. So we'll definitely work them up. In
a lot of things that are missed, especially in a
lot of women of Asian descent or if we have
any like how black women or Hispanic. There's a lot
(04:05):
of order. Immune diseases play a lot of significant roles
in white patients experience her and symptoms. So for a
sudden onset and you're having like hearing, you're not supposed
to have that A lot of times like a psychiological factors,
a lot of on immune diseases, if they manifest and exacerbate,
can actually mimic a lot of psychiatric features. There was
a big, big story actually on Suffolk County, a young
lad named Ape Barrel. It's all over the news, so
(04:27):
it's not even like a secret I'm not. There's no
hippop combines issue. And she was twenty one. She has
a psychotic break. She was catatonic, She wasn't really talking
to anyone. She had like hearing voices, seeing things a
number and she was institutionalized for ten years. There was
a resident actually he was actually from Korea as a
matter of fact, that did his medical school rotation. He
did it there and then he actually came back after
(04:49):
his residency to wonder why she was still institutionalized after
ten years. She had what they call order mune and ccephalitis,
and it came from lupis, and unfortunately, a lot of
lupus and ccephalitis actually mimics a lot of psychotic features.
She was on ivy ibu violence, she was on pretizone,
she was on an older measuge you would use for
someone who has lupus simple, So you have to totally
(05:09):
work up your patient before you just jump into a
true diagnosis. And that's what we do it all. That's
what makes us very different. We have our primary care
on site, work things all the way up, and once
we get a clear note, then we start intervening.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
That's super interesting that you say that, because I actually
had a really poor experience with like approaching this in
the past, which is why I'm kind of like like
right now, I'm like terribly nervous, Like I'm like shaking almost.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
You really got a good sugarcoating like this.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, So it's like I'm glad to see that you
put so much care into your practice.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Congratulations, thank you, thank you. My dad would be proud
of you with you because I was the last one.
I was the menace. You know, what do you do
with yourself? I'm like I don't know, so I wind
up being the good one in the end.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You know, I think a lot of creatives also go
through their lives without like really kind of attributing like
any of like the things kind of how do I
say that's like a I don't want to say there's
something wrong with them. But there's a lot of people
like creative in the field, like especially in Korea because
of the culture and like distigmatism, Like they don't approach
(06:14):
the topic of mental health, and they'll go their whole
life without like knowing that there's something that could be
there absolutely like seeking help. So like, I think your
openness to approaching it can like change a lot of
things in the future, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yep, myham and I have a lot of different patients
that are of all the sense and I have a
few from Korea, and I know some get it, some don't.
But you know, again, neither one of my parents were educated,
you know, they came from the next country. They pushed
us all through school. My mother could you know, she
be like, oh, can you read this from me? She's like,
so I put all you guys through school. So again,
but the ignorance is just not there. So sometimes when
I approach my mom a certain things that say certain things.
(06:48):
They automatically say, it's worst, it's crazy, she's nuts, she's insane.
I'm like, no, no, you don't know, don't know that.
So sometimes people are balanced certain things because they think, oh,
it's demonic or it's this, it's that, and I'm like, no,
it's not. She really has a psychiatric disorder, you know,
I mean, it really is true. And then you go
into family history. And sometimes when I take family history
and take from my initial patients, I have to be
(07:09):
very mindful because they don't know. If somebody asks me,
anybody your household had many you know, mom and dad
had anxiety depression. No, their answer, well, you need to work,
they're lazy. You don't you have anxiety presion because you don't
want work. You know, you don't want to get a job.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
That was my parents' response. So sometimes they don't know
the family history and family history plays a significant role,
especially with you know, and anxiety depression, especially with like
bipolar sword and schizophrenia, and they're like no, not really,
and suicide you know is major, you know, and a
lot of times people think, oh, you're a coward, if
you're suicidal. I don't think Miss America was a coward.
I don't think the CEO of you know, bed Beth
(07:42):
and Beyond was a coward. I don't think Anthony Bourbin
Boarding was a coward. Kate Spade wasn't a coward. So
that heaviness is internal, you know what I mean? And
that's why me as a provider, I try to yeah, yeah, okay.
And on top of that, it's not a state. I
hate when people say, oh, you're a coward. No, you're
not a coward. You are feeling things that people could
only internalize what's happening with them. And that's why I
(08:03):
always tell my patients, I would rather rather hear your
story than attend your funeral, So please open up. And
I always create a safe space for all my patients,
no matter what color, what you choose to do behind
closed doors. And I always say you always analyze the
messenger before you analyze the message. People could say things.
Do things hurt you? Where's it coming from? Are you
transferring aggression? Are you transferring itemssia? Are you dealing with
(08:24):
post traumatic stress disorder? Do you have a lot of
childhood trauma? I know that some of the ex boyfriends
that I've had, Like, you have a lot childhood trauma.
That's why you're weird, you know what I mean. But again,
I look at the whole picture. But unfortunately you don't
have many people that do that, and suicide is our
major major. I just went to the Nami Walk on
Sunday and South Street Seaport and to hear how many therapists, doctors,
nurses lost someone to suicide. And we're talking about professionals.
(08:47):
They look like you and I. They're not disheveled, they're
not you know, not groomed and not taking showers. Those
are the easy ones to pick out because you can
help them. They identified Miss America was Miss America. Who
would thinks you would leave from the top of the building.
No one. That's why I always say check on your
happy and healthy friends. And I'm a personal and being
completely transparent. I lost my I'm always the one to
get everybody together, So I lost my dad. I battled
(09:09):
with a lot of significant loaws, feeling like dark and out.
I felt like nobody was there to help me, and
I felt like I wish I could trade places with him.
I was going through that, going with that emotion, that's
suicide ideations. I would go to work, mind you. I
worked through COVID. I was doing death certificates ten of shift,
at twelve hour shifts. I was writing deertificates for coworkers.
Had no problem. You're a battle PTSD if you work
in the household with SA many deaths that you saw.
(09:30):
But when it hits home, it's different. I went to
work the whole time, no problem, no issues, and people
are like, wow, you were real. Yeah, seven days a
week suicidal, just thinking like wow, if I could just help.
And I felt like it was my fault. And I
think the only reason why you and I having a
conversation today is because I have a son because I
feel like I couldn't do that to him, so I
make sure you have some kids.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I felt like it was my fault, and I
felt like things were my fault. And you're newer transmitted
in your brain just go all over the place. They
stop working after a while when you have a significant impact,
no what it no matter what it was. It could be.
It could be a death, it could be a bad relationship,
it could be a financial hardship, it could just be bidy.
This morphie. We don't know. Everybody battle things differently, And
I always say that I'm glad that I was able
to kind of take that grip and something allowed me
(10:17):
to be able to sit with you today. But I
always say that, don't thank you for being here.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, yeah, beyond everything, thank you for being here today too.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And like even when you were talking about like oh,
like clocking in seven days a week and Algy like
she's she's she's killing it right now. But then like actually,
like at home, it's like all these thoughts and like
like hip hop idols, like like we go through like
these schedules that are like twenty hours long, and then
it's like, oh okay, then it's just the next day.
That is the next day, and you never really know
what someone's dealing with. Yep.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I always say that I'm such a firm belief in
that I go to work. I'm like, this person is balance,
a little bipolar. This one doesn't know she's getting you straight.
This one actually doesn't. She's having bodies more. Everybody's got
stuff going on. I get it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
However, just walking around, these red flags are clicking all
this time, and.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I'm like, you know what. But you know, fortunately a
lot of times, you know, put it this way. The
chief of psychiatry, I believe it. Yeah, I'm not sure
if he's still there. Who runs the whole school of medicine.
He is a borderline s gets effective disorder. So people
who bad in this meltal are very intelligent, especially someone
like myself who has ADD. You know, although if I
just blame it all, I'm just busy. I'm no, No,
(11:21):
you have ADD It's okay, you know what I mean,
It's okay, But myself and other people battle ADD or ADHD.
We don't have dope mean that brain, so we have
less dopening, so we have to create it from somewhere,
whether it's from adderall or whether it's from vitamin dB six.
We are high functioning, and people think that, well, you
have good grades, so you don't have ADD. No, that's
not the case. It doesn't manifest like that because we don't.
(11:41):
We don't have much dope in our brain, and we
have to overcompensate. That's what make us so intelligent.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh. I remember when I first took medication to kind
of like help treat the ADHD a bit, I felt
this huge weight that was like lifted off my shoulder.
I was like, wait, this is how regular people live, right, Wow, you.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Actually were able to start that on time and finish
it on time.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I was like, wait, I can just do it. I
have some close family members who kept going with their
lives for like a similar reason. And when I found
myself like a couple of years ago, like I was
at like the edge of a building and like things
are just like so autopilot and going on and on
and on until I was like, Okay, this doesn't matter,
(12:22):
and then this doesn't matter, and then like I kind
of reached my last doesn't matter. And when I woke
up in that moment, I was at the edge of
the building and then like what there was like a
kind of like a battle, like a tug of war.
At that moment, it was like okay, if I go
right now, who cares? And in my head, like it
(12:45):
was so deranged that I was like no one because
I was going through like a whole bunch of internet
bullying at that time, where like I had like a yeah,
it's like like all like the negative thoughts I had
about myself were like confirmed for the first time, and
like an outside source you know, gotcha. And then I
was dealing with like a death of a family member.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
That's so heavy because death is finalsclan, and you don't
mean just shut them off, block them. You know, it's
very easy, but you know this, this will be the
mom but just do this, just turn it off, this match, ny,
but death is final. You know, certain things are just final.
And I always tell people that my son was believed
that a lot in high school and unfortunately due to
the fact of you know, complexion of skin is unfortunate.
(13:25):
But okay, fine, whatever, He's totally fine. Now he goes
Then while he's great, he's doing well, he's worried about
his curls and his hair stupid stuff. But again, he
was going through that. No one would understand that, but you.
So when people try to come to you or come
at you from the outside, always remember that's why they're outside.
They need to stay there. They're not in your inner circle.
They're not in your unitary human being. They're not inside.
And honestly tell you to you know, thank god you
(13:47):
were unsuccessful, because we've gonna have this conversation right now.
You want to be as awesome as you are, and
thank god, you know, I mean your parents, you know
what I mean. I always look at what we leave behind,
and we always say they're going to suffer, you know,
but sometimes when you're in that moment, and statistics have
shown that a lot of patients who have attempted to
take their life, unfortunately and if they wanted to change
(14:07):
their mind or it's almost within seconds and sometimes they're
able to kind of get out that, thank god. Yeah,
and then some unfortunately successful they were successful with suicide
doesn't go well together. But I'm just trying to make
it sound you know what I mean, But you know, unfortunate.
That's a very small ratio, and a lot of times
show your small ratio.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Thank you for saying that, because in that moment, it
was at an airport, like I was a mid schedule
and I just like I stepped away from the group
and then like one of the workers like saw me
and was like it was a really nice day today.
And I looked up and I was like, oh, that's
pretty nice, ADHD.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I was like, wait, what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And then I sat down and then I talked to
the person and like we had like a cry, and
then like I and then I came back down and
I continue with like my life, I guess. But then
I was still like calling like hotlines and still all
this stuff. But I felt like and validated a little
bit because I was like, oh, like, oh, was it fake?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Right?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
You know, It's like, oh, I could just get off
like that, right, you know, So like you're saying that, like, oh,
it could just change at any moment.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Literally seconds. Patients would be at that point and then
before they wanted up like yeah, I'm like, yeah, it
happened a lot all the time, and they've done studies
on it and it's show them to be proven and
a lot of times, especially when you have, unfortunately have
patients that have multiple attempts, whether it be for whatever
different reasons it is. You know, people have multiple attempts
and things of that sort. Some people are battling, they're
(15:30):
getting raped at home from family members and stuff, and
they're like why are they why do they want to
take their life? You don't know what they're battling. That
person is like messed up for life, you know, so
they'd rather just be on the other side because they
feel it's more comfortable. And I always tell patients, you know,
have I had a few my patients that unfortunately that
was successful, you know, unfortunately taking their life. It bothers
me to it today because like why didn't you call me?
(15:51):
Why don't you call them like you call them for
everything else. We feels on this, We fools on that
why don't you call me? And the one just the
one time I didn't answer or the one time they
didn't reach out is heavy. So I always look at
the fact that when they did that, never point anybody
as being a coward. It's very painful.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Then, may I ask, what do you what would you
say to that to the people, because for me, I
wanted help. I wanted help so bad, and like one
bad thing that I did was I didn't know where
to ask for help or how to ask for help,
and I would do it in stupid ways. And like
(16:29):
like one thing that happened on the internet was like
I would I would self harm and then I would
go on live and like intentionally like not show, like
like not wear sleeves and all these things, just hoping
someone would check on me because I was so alone
in like Korea and all these things, and like the
schedules were NonStop. I didn't have any time to like
ask for help, and then like the people around me
(16:49):
like I'll just kind of like drop hints. I'll be
like really sucks, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And they're looking at you like yoka, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Right, because like I didn't ask for their permission to
like kind of listen to me in that moment, you know.
So like for these people who are kind of like
they're just acting out or like like people around them
are like seeing them as being weird, like what is
the best way to be Okay, stop doing this instead,
do this so we'll see instead.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
And I always tell they have to be able to
understand that barrier. They have to be able to let
that guard down. I know, you have to have boundaries,
but when it comes to boundaries of harming yourself, of
being in a psychotic phase or just having that significant depression,
no one could really read minds unfortunately, you know, because
you thought someone would probably pay attention, and some people
are so caught up in your image that they're just like, oh, no,
he's gonna be fine, this is going to be good,
(17:34):
no big deal. You have to be able to come
to grips with yourself and say, hey, listen, you know
I need to go ahead and ask for help for
resources because sometimes you just don't know me. I offer
resources because my patients come to me. I'm like, hey,
guess what if I don't ask my phone you feel
this way, call this, this, this, this is this, and
then you have four numbers when you have this, this,
this is There's so many ways to get in touch
with me, my assistant, my business partner, so many people,
(17:55):
so many different therapists that I have I communicate, but
a lot of different therapists that also have emergency lines
on top of everything across the America. That's could cool, Like,
you know, so many resources. I mean, I can only
be justified for the States because we have so many
ways to get in touch with someone. In the event
you could just three one one, you call nine one one,
you can cool. It's so many ways. It's so many
(18:16):
ways to not dial that number. But you're not going
to dial that number if you're feeling like embarrassed or
you feel you can't. So that's where that therapy kind
of comes in, you know, And that's we're talking to you.
If you could confide in a friend. Sometimes I believe
in that. Sometimes I don't because you're getting a problem
with the friend and your business on the street. You know,
you get a real dedicated if that was we can't
(18:38):
tell your business drink and that's our license, you know.
But I always say, try your best even if you can,
you know, even do anonymous things are as anonymous things
on Facebook. There's things that be to communicate about.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Ye, no seek professional hope. I remember I remember asking
my sister and she was just go crash out, dude,
and I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Did you jump yet? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Are you still jumping?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
You know? No?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
No? Sorry? So sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I think I think what's cool? Is uh something that's useful?
That was for me was like this isn't the answer,
you know, like, before you get to this answer, this
ultimate answer, try this, this, this, and that. Here's forty
five things in between. You get through all these things
and your life still sucks. Here's another forty five because
(19:28):
this is not the answer, correct, right, And like I
had to build these middle steps from scratch because I
was jumping straight. So I was like, oh, I'll just
don't kill.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Myself, right exactly. You build a gratitude list. You see
how much okay, things that you're like Wow, I actually
did this. I did it. I did it. Things to
just be grateful for. You don't even realize just the
fact they're able to get them and have a conversation,
you know. And I'm not telling you to be this
whole religious person and believe in God, because everybody's very
different with what they believe in. If you want to
be spiritual, what have you? Just think about the simplest things,
(19:59):
Like you know, some people can't even just feed themselves,
and they have their complete faculties, then they're totally alert
in oriented times ten they're able to kind of converse
with everyone, but they can't even just take a fork
and just eat. And we're just worried about the fact
that I'm hitting a microphone, so we can't even move
their extremities. So I always try myself my best to
go ahead and just make a gratitude isst be thankful
for things that you have and then give yourself some credit.
(20:20):
A lot of us battle a lot of imposter syndrome,
which is bad. It's like, you know, why am I
hearing up? Because you're awesome. That's why you're here, that's why,
That's why you're dope, That's what it is one money.
I'm young, and how come I have all these follow
because you are who you are that you you didn't
get you need any handouts. You did what you did.
You you work like you know what I mean. So
so hold on to that. You're dope, that's it, That's
what it is. I'm just lying, that's it, you know,
(20:40):
taking what it is. And that's why once you realize
what you've done and what you work hard for, you
sacrifice for, you might think twice like you don't really
want to end up, keep my life going a little
bit longer, enjoy, you know, and then the extend it
becomes like a thing in the brain that kind of
just also and that positive self talk back talk with you.
So I talk to myself in the mirror all the time.
My mother's probably this girls, and I know I'm just
talking to myself. That's all it is.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Mm hmm, just kind of like digesting that like form
my current situation. I don't care if I talk about
myself of it.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You can talk about yourself. This is your show.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
This is my show. Wow, Okay, okay, so you guys
have problems start a show.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I think a lot of that empowerment. That self empowerment
were like, Okay, you know what, I did work hard
for this. You know, I'm gonna stand up for myself.
I don't know where I went wrong in handling that.
So these things have have happened along my career like
a bunch of times. So the first time I started
dealing with like the waves of hate and all this stuff,
(21:52):
I was like, oh, okay, time to die because I
care about this, you know, and I'm doing this for
you and you don't care about it. And like I
associate my identity my worth to my job and like
all these things, and it's like if that's nothing, then
I'm nothing. And if I'm nothing, then I should die, right.
(22:14):
And it's like it's like I also like grew up
like wanting to be like a good guy and like
defeat the bad guys. And you're telling me that I'm
the bad guy. So I'm gonna take him out. I'm
gonna do this for you guys, you know. And I
realized that over the years. This was around twenty twenty
(22:34):
twenty one maybe, so it's been like a couple of
years now and throughout those years, like like kind of
going through that and then trying to build those systems,
those in betweens. I realized I was like, Okay, I
need to establish my worth outside of my work. I
need to go live life. I need to see what
I believe and see what I value and all these things.
(22:55):
And I fear that I may have gone too far.
And it's like it happened again recently, which is why
we were kind of just kind of topic that we
wanted to talk about, because I had like this huge
crash out on the internet because like I felt so
justified in the things that I was doing. I was like, Okay,
(23:16):
I worked hard to be here. Hello, guys, sorry to interrupt.
Is bum behind here. If you guys are enjoying the episode,
please tune in next week for the second part.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Of this episode where we finish off the top. Thank you.
Host
Beomhan
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