January 18, 2024 • 30 mins
Karol kicks off this episode with a discussion on the division of labor in relationships, highlighting the need for clear communication and the tendency for women to shoulder a heavier mental load. Karol welcomes Dana Loesch to talk about her support for Israel and American Jews, and passionately talks about her role as a Second Amendment advocate. Personal anecdotes are shared, including Dana's marriage dynamics and her evolving perspectives on women's roles. The Karol Markowicz Show is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network - new episodes debut every Monday & Thursday.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Marcowitz Show.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I saw this reel the other day, The count is
at the Meadows, fam Let's play it.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I just saw something that was like, imagine being a
man and you ask for toothpaste and then the next
day it's just magically there. But then I was thinking,
I'm like, well, imagine being a woman and every month
our bills are just paid magically, like people ask me
and I'm like, I don't even know how much that was,
Like my husband paid it. Or imagine being a woman
(00:37):
and it snows like super hard, and then you wake
up in the morning and your driveway it's just magically shoveled.
Or oh, a gaslight comes into my car and next
day it's just magically filmed. I love being women, and
I don't think we give enough credit to our mans.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
So this is something I've said for so long. I
don't understand how so many couples seemingly don't have a
division of labor. Yes, when my husband needs toothpaste, it
magically appears, and I'll be real with you, he almost
never needs to ask me for it because that is
just something I get done in our family.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I like to take care of him.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I like to notice when he needs something and then
get it for him. He likes to do the same
thing for me. But the complaint often is is that
husbands don't do the same for wives, and I find
that just crazy. The buzzword of the moment is mental load.
Like women take on a larger mental.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Load than men.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
We have to think about all the things, and we're
constantly keeping track of everything. And it's not enough that
men will do stuff when asked. They should be looking
around and doing stuff on their own, which yes they should,
but when you have a clearer division of labor, this
becomes less of an issue. Like the woman in the video,
my husband handles most of our bills for some reason.
(01:54):
I do stuff like pay our pool guy or when
we've had babysitters. That's in my column. I think I've
only just this moment realized that I pay anyone who
uses Venmo, and he pays all the cash check and
credit card using people.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
So.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
There was another video recently of the football playing Kelsey Brothers,
and Jason Kelsey was wearing shorts on a red carpet
because his wife was running late with his jeans. The
unmarried brother Travis Kelcey, the one that's dating Taylor Swift
mocked him for it.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Let's roll the clip, Let's move on. Is them Kelsey Premiere?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Hey?
Speaker 5 (02:29):
How was it?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Brother?
Speaker 5 (02:30):
It was actually pretty cool? Really enjoyed it. We had
a picture you on the green carpet, not the red carpet.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
You really got dressed up.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I was going to have jeans on, but Kylie, Kylie what?
Kylie was running late? I just came straight from football.
Kylie was going to bring the jeans. Kylie was late.
Why didn't Jason bring jeans for Jason? Because I was
at football and I needed the jeans.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
For after football.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
And I'm not going to wear jeans all day. That's
just not done. Some fun. And I'm realizing now I
probably can't blame Kylie for this anyway. Oh yeah, I
wore shorts and sans. He was too busy putting jeans
on the three girls.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yes, she was too.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Busy getting the entire family situated with the babysitter and
then getting herself ready and making sure our parents are
with her.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Just see you pull it up.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
You don't have my jeans.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
I'm gonna look like an idiot. Gosh, so true. So true.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Women online swooned over Travis understanding that Kylie's mental load
was already heavy. My take is that this is breakdown
responsibilities that is working for this couple. Could she have said, hey, Jason,
bring your own jeans, and I'm sure he would have
been fine with that, But maybe bringing his genes after
the game is in her department, and I bet she's
(03:47):
completely okay with that. If my mental load is larger
than my husband's, and I admit that it almost definitely is,
it's because I choose to think about a lot of
different things that don't necessarily need to be thought about,
you know, as intensely as I do. I'm currently thinking
about a trip we might take next December. It's January.
(04:08):
So does that trip need to take up space in
my brain?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Now? It doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But I like getting things done. I like daydreaming about trips.
I like thinking about things that we're going to do.
I like planning ahead for my kids. I enjoy all
of that, and if I didn't enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
My friend, the writer Kyle Smith, who has been on
this show, once wrote something like, it's not how does
she do it, it's why does she do it? You know,
to the idea of like, how does she do it?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
The woman who's doing it?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
All women tend to have higher standards than men about
a lot of things, so it does often feel like
we're increasing our own mental load. That's not a husband problem,
that's an us problem. I know, it's a me problem.
I know that I think about too many things and
put too many things on my plate and just enjoy
(05:01):
the process of thinking over a lot of different things
and what I need to do. But anyway, before you
get married, have some conversations about expectations. Some couples will
fall into a comfortable routine where the breakdown of who
does what is obvious. Other couples will struggle with this,
and it will lead to resentment and women complaining about
(05:24):
their mental load to their friends. Communication is the answer
to so many problems, and talking about what you expect
to have to handle and what your spouse will have
to handle will lead to an easier relationship and a
happier marriage. Coming up next, Dana lash Hi and welcome
(05:45):
back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My guest
today is nationally syndicated radio host, author, and second Amendment
advocate Dana lash Hi. Dana, thanks so much for coming on.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Hey Carol, thanks for having me well.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
As my listeners know, this is a largely non political show,
but I have to start off with something somewhat political today.
I need to say thank you to you, Dana, for
all of your support for Israel and for American Jews.
In the last few months. It's really been a dark time.
I try not to carry it over into the rest
of my life too much, but it's been tough, and
(06:22):
you have made a bad time better. So I have
to say thank you.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Well, thank you. I'm so I'm happy to hear that
it helped.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
And I can't I just can't stand to see cruelty,
and I can't stand to see the way that the
way that it's been discussed nationally, the way it's been
discussed internationally, and the way that you and so many
others have been treated. I have so many friends who
are Jewish, and I have some people married in my
family who are even Jewish, and I just I get
(06:50):
so angry when I see just that kind of that
purposeful injustice, like a design, purposeful, malicious intent injustice. And
so I'm happy that it helps someonet me and my
big giant mouth.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
You've been just fantastic, and it's yeah, I feel like
that so many people have been you know, questionable, and
you've been steadfast and amazing, and I just appreciate.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You so much.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
And I have to tell you that, you know, your
name just gets mentioned a lot among like people who
have been fantastic and that we really appreciate.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
So I appreciate you. Thank you. It's your appreciation of it.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
So I've been a big fan of yours for a
long time.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We only met for the first time last year, and
I think, I mean not to you know, not to.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Go weird, but I've known you so much longer.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I was going to say, I think it was an
instant connection. And I have to say that when I
bought my first gun this year last year now twenty
twenty three, and then when I bought my second gun
last year, I absolutely thought of you, like what do
you how do you feel being thought of as like,
you know, the gun girl.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
I you know, I love it.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Actually, I have people who who work in politics and
people who are I know that are consultants, and they
always say, well, you don't want to be you want
to be careful not to get pigeonholed with something which
I thought was really weird to say to me or
to anybody else, because it's a right. I don't care
if I'm pigeonholed for supporting your light. I would I
would love. I love the fact that you know that
(08:17):
I'm thought of when people think of exercising your rights
and self defense, and that means that I've done something right.
It means that I've been effective, and I'm just I'm
happy to see it because it means that, you know,
some of the hard things that I've been through my
life were worth it because other people feel empowered and
confident and they feel free to go out and do
(08:38):
what they need to do to protect themselves and their
families and enjoyed and be public about it. And so
I that brings me a lot of just pure joy
knowing that.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
So I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
That's yeah. I mean this was the year.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Last year again was the year that I took it from.
I've always been a Second Amendment advocate. I always supported
the Second Amendment. I just never actually we exercise that right.
So it really was kind of a big step for
me to go from just philosophically supporting gun rights to
you know, owning guns at home myself, and you really
were such an inspiration with that. But yeah, I think
(09:14):
that that's, you know, the right way to think about it.
You're supporting a right, and why should you, you know
not why shouldn't you focus on that? Why should it
be something that isn't you know, part of what you
speak out on.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
And I quite like.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
That, Yeah, especially when it's I mean it's so germane
to everything that's happening right now, particularly with crime rates,
and then I mean just you know, good heavens, you know,
attacks against Jewish Americans and the stuff that we've seen
as of late. I mean, we just saw people blocking
highways and all of that stuff. And we had the
what is it two years now of the BLM riots
(09:48):
and everything else, and we have these activist prosecutors and
people who are just lawless that are encouraged to continue
to be lawless because of this quote unquote restorative justice.
So people see that, and it's no wonder that they
want to feel secure. It's crazy that it's you know,
here in twenty twenty four, we would have to convince
anyone in the United States of America to just, you know,
(10:09):
make sure that you're secure and that your family's secure.
And by the way, you have the right to do
that and the freedom to do that every I mean,
that should be something that's intrinsically known, not something that
people have to be persuaded over. So I yeah, I
completely agree with you on that, and I think it's
I think there's going to be more and more people
that are sort of led to that and see that especially,
I mean, depending on how everything happens after November.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Absolutely, do you get recognized a lot, like.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Do you live a very public life?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Not?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I mean I'm so not.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
I yes, and no, I mean I've never there's I
was thinking about something the other day and it's like
this meme I guess that's online where everyone was taught
to stop drop and roll.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
I'm going to bring this tugboat to short It's going
to make sense.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
And I thought, I'm going to be on fire a
lot when I'm an adult, so we really have to
practice the stop drop and roll. And I always thought,
you know, because that I would be especially after my
advocacy and stuff to went to a national level. I
guess I always thought that any kind of recognition in
public that I would meet would be hateful. And honestly,
(11:10):
I've never had like a one on one or you know,
even a small group experience in public where anybody has
been hateful. I've everybody's been very kind. And you know,
what happens every now and again, especially in Texas, and
I live in a very very conservative area, so it
happens probably more here than it would anywhere else. But
everybody's been really cool, and it you know what happens.
(11:31):
People are usually just you know, oh thanks, you know,
whether it's for the town hall or the worker making,
you know, talking about a policy or explaining a legislative proposal,
people are just.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
You know, they're like, oh, thank you.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
And I mean it's you know, it's not why I
do it, but it's you know, it's it's nice and
and it makes sometimes when you know you're in the
fight and you're in the thick of it, it's those
things that you kind of reflect on that that sort
of you know, light the way forward a little bit.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
So it's nice.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
So when we first met this last year, also the
first time that I met your husband, and I think
you guys are just such a adorable couple, and you're
you seem like very well.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Suited and just, oh my god, have it going on?
How long are you guys together?
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Twenty three years. We've been married for twenty three years.
We actually got engaged after knowing each other for three months.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Yeah, it was a.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Little crazy, and our family was, like his family was
very excited. He's almost eight years older than I am,
and I've always been kind of an old soul, but
I also was, you know, when I was growing up,
I was a little bit different from the way I
am now with some of.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
My ideological outlooks.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
But I'd only been raised one particular way by one
typical type of people, and so I had no views
on women and marriage and everything else. But you know,
God love him because he is honestly the only man
who could put up with me all over the place
all the time. I can't sit still. I always have
to be doing something. I am not the person who
(12:59):
just find is it easy to relax, Like if I
have time off or if I'm on vacation, I still
find the need to do stuff. I mean, I started
to crochet during lockdown because I could not stand to
sit still for so long.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Wow, that wasn't enough. I'm like, I'm going to learn.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
How to needle point because I clearly need more things
to do. I just I love being busy, and I
think that would aggravate the living will out of most people.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
And he just rolls with it.
Speaker 6 (13:23):
He just is like whatever, she's doing her thing, and
he's got love him. He's the only person. He was
made for me. He was absolutely made for me.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So what views of yours on women have changed?
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Oh, my gosh, well, I mean naturally.
Speaker 6 (13:38):
Growing up being in the family of Southern Democrats in
southern Missouri, I was raised to be a Democrat like
everybody else in my family, I didn't even meet I
did not meet a Republican hands to guy until college.
I did not meet a Republican until I was a
freshman in college. It was the first time I ever
met anyone who's a Republican, anybody who was.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Not like me.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
All my family were very far left, and they mostly
still are. They're very far left. And I just thought, well,
I'm a feminist, naturally, because that's everything that I've been told.
I didn't even know the difference between first, second and
third wave. I was just told feminist and I'm like, okay, yeah,
I am one. And then you know, growing up and
you're watching MTV and VH one and everything else, it's
like just shoved in your face. And that's my generation.
(14:19):
I'm kind of on the younger end of Gen X.
That's everything that we consume. Music, you know, MTV when
back when they played music videos, that's all we had,
and pop culture, movies, entertainment, everything that was the narrative
that was shoved in your face. If you're a young woman,
this is how you identify. And so I just adopted
it because I didn't know anything better. And then the
older I got, the more open minded I became. And
(14:41):
my family said that I went to the big city
and got brainwashed, which I thought was funny.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Funny that happens in reverse, right, I have other way.
Speaker 6 (14:50):
So I ended up disagreeing with a lot of positions
that I had inherited and thought were my own and
weren't actually my own. And then when I began questioning,
you know, the inherited positions, that was not good. And
so now here we are. But yeah, that's that's changed
a lot. That was one of the biggest ones that changed.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
We're going to take a quick break and be right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. It's interesting you mentioned,
like the MTV era, there was a magazine called Sase.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I don't know if you remember this.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
It was a yes, I remember that.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, I love Sassy, Like I would wait at the
newsstand for the day that it would come out.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I didn't know about subscribing.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
That was too complicated for me at the store.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
But so it's funny because when I tell people that I, oh,
I read Sassy, they were like, oh, and how did
you end up conservative?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Like that was such a liberal.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Magazine And I was like, that magazine was very much
like be who you are, believe what you want, you know.
It just it's very different than what alternative kind of
magazines would be like today, which I think would push
a very leftist perspective. But back then, it was like
be yourself was the coolest, you know, way to be
and myself was conservative, so I I you know, even
(16:01):
when MTV was like, you know, rocking the vote, I
was like, I will rock the vote. I will vote
for you know, Charge bush Well.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
And I'm so glad that you brought that up because
back then and I remember that was like their whole,
their whole vibe. And and with MTV back then even
I mean, my gosh, Kennedy, who I know, I think
we both know. When she was a v D show
Republican Quail supporter, I didn't know anybody under fifty who
liked Jale and I was the younger woman on television
(16:30):
who liked Dan Quayle and I and I'm like, that's
I had not had that in any type of representation.
But it was cool to have weird Republican friends, right.
That was part of the whole alternative thing, like you, oh, yeah,
you can have It was like almost cool to have
a weird Republican friend, right, yeah, this is my Republican friend.
And just I don't know, like there was some sort
(16:51):
of something that you got from that, some cred that
you got from that.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Now it's like, oh God, you have a friend who's
a Republican. That's a betrayal, right.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I mean if you had like a mainstream famous friend,
like they would have to keep you hidden, Like I mean,
I know that that's the case. I mean, I you know,
somebody like a culture for example, has told me, you
know about kind of mainstream famous people that she's friends
with who they cannot be openly friends, and it's you know,
it's no longer cool to know people or be friends
(17:23):
of people who have different perspectives. It's become you know,
you have to walk that very thin line and you
have to stay with the group at all times.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
It's kind of sad.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I feel like we had a nice time in our
youth where it was okay to be different, and now
it's very much not.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
That was the true counter culture and now it's all boring.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Now it's so boring, and conversations are boring, and that
makes everything that we talk about boring, and entertainment bore
because there isn't a contrast of ideas. I mean, there's
there aren't even any actual debate shows anymore. One of
my favorite shows ever was Tough Crowd.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
With Colin Quinn. I loved that show.
Speaker 6 (18:02):
Colin Quinn was hysterical and he would have people on
that show that were infuriatingly wrong, but they were hysterical
and they all got along afterwards because nobody took it personally.
Everyone's like, oh, we disagreed and we're going to bust
up and now we're all good.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Hi.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
That was yeah, We're right. We had it so good.
The younger generations won't even know what they missed.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
It's so sad we did.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, that's definitely true. So you have this great marriage,
you have an outstanding radio show, super popular, best selling books.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Do you feel like you've made it?
Speaker 6 (18:34):
I actually judge whether or not I've made it by
whether or not I lived.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Up to what I wrote in my senior high school
memory book. And I don't love that.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
Everybody had, like the scrap books everybody signs in. The
girl's books were like you couldn't even close them, and
the boys they didn't even open them. They just wouldn't
want a package for their senior package, and they never
did anything with them. But in mine, I wanted to
work in I wanted to be an author, and I
wanted to drive a jeep, and I wanted to live
in the mountains in Colorado, and I wanted to be
(19:06):
married and have kids. That's what I wanted, I listed,
so I ended up at one point I had a jeep.
I couldn't live in the mountains because I get altitude sickness,
but I do go over there, which was really sad.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I was like, oh, I guess I got to check
that off my book. But that's how I can.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
You know, I'm married and have kids, and I feel
like that is how I made it. I feel like
I accomplished those things and I feel content. I mean,
I do feel content with what I do. I'm not
in need of really, I don't really need to do
anything more. It's just driven by my absolute inability to
just not do anything.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
And I love what I do.
Speaker 6 (19:42):
I love, you know, talking to people like you and
your awesome podcast and your cool audience, and you know,
I love reading your stuff.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
By the way, Carol's you know, she's ad ass and
around right.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
I love I love doing it, and I think that
is that is I love what I do. So I
feel like because of that alone, I feel, Yeah, I do,
I do. I feel completely content, and that's how I
measure it.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
It's so good.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
What would you say is our biggest cultural or societal
problem in America?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And do you think it's solvable?
Speaker 4 (20:11):
I do?
Speaker 6 (20:13):
But whether or not I do think it's solvable. I
don't think it's a question of whether or not it
can be solved. I think it's a question of whether
or not people have the will to solve it, whether
or not they have.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
The interest to solve it.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
And there's so many I think there's so many things
wrong with our society. But I think the first thing
is that people are focused too much on self and
not and not focused on other not focused on others,
I think everyone and you know, I get it. It's
like a doggy dog world and it's just like everything
that we're in an influencer society where literally everyone's a brand,
which sounds just like a walking nightmare, but that's, you know,
(20:46):
the society in which we live and you're being sold
something all the time. Twenty four to seven, I remember
we used to joke just like looking on Instagram and
seeing pictures of people's sandwiches and we all thought that
was going long for those days, like bring.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Back not sandwiches.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, I love that. That was when it was so innocent.
But everyone is so self naval gazing.
Speaker 6 (21:07):
I think that we're not seeing the bigger picture of
what's happening everywhere else. We're focused on what's happening in
our lives and in our only in our communities, which
I think that you have to appreciate the relationship that
it has with the whole. We're focused on just one
party or just one political idea or just won this
or one that, And I think that's a that's a
huge problem because when you get self out of the
(21:30):
way and you put others first, that really dramatically changes society.
But that's not at all what society right now is
constructed to encourage down marketing, to entertainment, to everything. So
I think just at its most basic level, I think,
you know, self, too much focus on self is really
kind of what's one of the biggest the biggest problems.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
And everybody needs God, that's the other.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
But it is an issue of willpower because I think
there's just too much incentive to change or to not change.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Rather, so how do we how do we overcome it?
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I mean, it's it's very hard to get the people
to no longer see themselves as a brand. I mean,
it's funny because you know, we're public people. I think, like,
you know, just living living our lives the way we do,
there's some consideration for you know, I hate to think
of myself as a brand.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I hate that kind of thinking at all.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
But I see people who like have you know, one
hundred fifty followers on Instagram treat themselves like a brand
and get I get that they want to grow and
et cetera. But it's just why would you go that
path if you didn't have to, Like I feel like
if I didn't need to be on social media for
my job, I don't know that I would do it.
Speaker 6 (22:39):
Yeah. Well, I can't stand being on Instagram. I love
looking at other.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
People say it's sort of my favorite one.
Speaker 6 (22:46):
I hate it and I don't even enjoy well x
I guess I mean I enjoy it because I get
a lot of my news from that or.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Really, I don't know. I just I don't. I just
don't know.
Speaker 6 (22:57):
I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or
what it is. But I think my consumption is changing
where I'm not going to want to consume any of it, right.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
But that's what I mean. That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I think that if I didn't have to be on
But Twitter was definitely my most love hate. Like when
I when I need an Internet break, like I take
Twitter off my phone.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
It's because because I can't control myself.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I'm constantly off your phone.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Oh I when I especially when I go on vacation.
It's now standard where I take it off my phone
and I have to tell you how many times I
click the empty space, like just automatically, like click where
the app used to be.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
It's really I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
No, you have some times you have to like disconnect
and really like not not get the news. Like I
was off in December and I basically missed the Nikki
Haley slavery story. It was just coming back to it
what Nick Haley thinks slavery wasn't part of the Civil War.
Like I was like, you know what, I don't even
I'm not even going to catch up on it. Like
(23:57):
it's it's it's over, whatever it was, it's done now.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Yeah. No, I agree with you. I I mean, to
your to your question.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
I think the biggest issue, I mean really is you know,
people not putting others first and and putting themselves first
and being so hyper focused on themselves.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
And it is so reflected digitally.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
It is so reflected with especially the way our kids
are influenced and all of the you know, the social
media appetites that the youth has.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
It just feels like.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
There's a huge set of problems that that the youth
have nowadays that I don't think would exist were it
not for the oversaturation of social media everything, because you're
in constant comparison. You're comparing yourselves with other people and
you and and focusing on what everybody else has and
what everybody else is doing as a way of, you know,
(24:43):
trying to promote yourself and push yourself and and and
and it drives in security. I think it drives a
lot of stuff. I don't I could talk about this
a million different routes forever on it.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
There's so many different things that are related to it.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
But ultimately, you know, the biggest problem I think is
is just people being self centered, selfish and self centered
and not focusing on others first. And I think everyting, no,
I mean nobody, not even myself, are are completely innocent people.
We are all sure, we are all culpable in this
to some extent, some you know more than others, but
(25:15):
you know, by and large we're all guilty of it.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
And I just it does take. It takes.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
It takes a choice, a purposeful choice and will to
actively put others first. And that goes into even saying,
you know, like what people are like, what you're thinking,
and what I'm thinking that the commentary that I started
out in when I was I mean, gosh, I've been
doing this since I was in my twenties, and when
I first started in commentary, I've always been kind of
(25:40):
a loud mouth. And I come by it honest because
all the women in my family are very similar.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
We all are.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
But I did not care how it affected and who
it affected. I didn't care how it affected how someone
else might perceide themselves or others. I did not care
about it. And I still facts don't care about feelings.
Everybody knows that, right. If I wanted to just be mean,
I would just be mean, even if it was just
a way to prove a point. Yeah, And I took great,
(26:07):
you know, satisfaction in that. And with age comes wisdom.
And then I look back and I'm like, well, if
this is about persuasion and I'm not persuading people, and
if what I'm saying is actually turning them away, then
have I not just become my biggest opponent? Like how
stupid am I that I'm actually shooting myself rhetorically in
the foot and I'm driving people away. Now there's a
(26:29):
time and Roadhouse is a great cinematic masterpiece. And there's
an amazing scene in Roadhouse where Patrick Swayze is saying
there's a time to be nice and there's a time
to not be nice.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
And they have a great exchange there that still holds true.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
But I think that there's a lot of nuance there
being mean or trying to own someone for the sake
of doing it. What is the purpose if you're not
trying to persuade someone. It's not like you know, we're
we're not supposed to be in this giant digital fallis
measuring contest. I mean, if you're trying to persuade someone,
that persuade them. But if you're trying to turn them away,
well then aren't you just aiding the people that you're
claiming to oppose and fight against. It doesn't make any sense.
(27:03):
So that is even in the way that we speak
uh to others and about others, I think also plays
into that.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
And you know, I've you know, I've been humbled with
that before. I'm not gonna lie about it. I've been
humbled by my own words before. Right, they have come
back to bite me.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
And like I said, you know, with with age comes wisdom,
and I definitely see the way and importance of that
of that now and how that goes into you know,
like I just said, our greatest issue right absolutely.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
I think I mean just the growth that has to
happen where you you know, view things that the way
you used to handle things. Wait, I know, the way
I used to talk on like my blog originally when
I first started out, I would just be so sarcastic
and kind of.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
You know, biting. That was that was the time. It
was sort of what.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Made people popular. But it is cringe ority definitely.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
And it's still I mean, and we're still it's not
to say not to be honest, but I think that
there's what is the purpose and always asking, you know,
what is what is the purpose of of you know,
the way that we're messaging stuff, And yeah, it's I mean,
there's it's really hard, especially now because in commentary particularly
just sort of grow up publicly in political punditory in
(28:15):
front of the nation. And that's what a lot of
us have done, starting from our twenties going out into
our early forties.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
That's I mean, that's a long time to be in
the public eye.
Speaker 6 (28:24):
And in right commentary and there's you know, that's you
can chart the growth.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
It's very interesting, right, Well, I love talking to you.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
You're so awesome and smart.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
And here with your best tip for my listeners on
how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 6 (28:42):
So I thought about this because you sent us out.
I don't know if I don't like tell people how
the sauceaget make. Yeah, you sent us out, And I thought,
this is actually a really hard question, and I think, honestly,
the biggest thing that I can think of. And I
wrote a whole book about this, and because I was
going to go with a million different things, and I
ended up coming back to this in your book.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
By the way, what's the book called Grace?
Speaker 6 (29:03):
I think I'm a horrible self promoto Grace Canceled and
Grace Cancel was the last book I wrote. And it
dropped literally the week of like right before the country
shut down, which was crazy, so I had everything canceled.
It was it was horrific. Uh, don't write a book
right before lockdowns happened.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Don't have a lot.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
But you know, I was thinking of, you know, telling
people will just you know, be honest with you know
what you think, and be'n afraid to be honest, and
that's all well and good, but honestly, I think that
people should just have some grace. And it's weird for
me to say this because I don't want to have it.
I have to talk myself into stop being, you know,
such a be stop it just to be, you know.
(29:42):
But I think have grace because sometimes you know, people
are going to mess up, and nobody's perfect and we
are in an unprecedented time. I think every time is unprecedented,
but especially so now, and we are all just faulty
beings dealing in the best way that we can. So
if somebody is that says something that you don't necessarily
maybe like all the way or you think is you know,
(30:04):
have some grace and have some grace with each other
in meat space, not just digitally.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
But I think if everybody had a little.
Speaker 6 (30:10):
Bit more grace, which also requires you to sacrifice putting
yourself first, I think that goes a long way into
just everybody kind of getting along a little bit better
and maybe solving some of these problems we're all dealing with.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I love that I will try to have more grace.
Thank you, Dana, Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Love talking to you. Check out her show, get her books.
She's fantastic. Dana Lash, thank.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
You, thank you, thanks so much for joining us on
the Carol Marcowitch Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Marcowitz Show.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I saw this reel the other day, The count is
at the Meadows, fam Let's play it.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I just saw something that was like, imagine being a
man and you ask for toothpaste and then the next
day it's just magically there. But then I was thinking,
I'm like, well, imagine being a woman and every month
our bills are just paid magically, like people ask me
and I'm like, I don't even know how much that was,
Like my husband paid it. Or imagine being a woman
(00:37):
and it snows like super hard, and then you wake
up in the morning and your driveway it's just magically shoveled.
Or oh, a gaslight comes into my car and next
day it's just magically filmed. I love being women, and
I don't think we give enough credit to our mans.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
So this is something I've said for so long. I
don't understand how so many couples seemingly don't have a
division of labor. Yes, when my husband needs toothpaste, it
magically appears, and I'll be real with you, he almost
never needs to ask me for it because that is
just something I get done in our family.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I like to take care of him.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I like to notice when he needs something and then
get it for him. He likes to do the same
thing for me. But the complaint often is is that
husbands don't do the same for wives, and I find
that just crazy. The buzzword of the moment is mental load.
Like women take on a larger mental.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Load than men.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
We have to think about all the things, and we're
constantly keeping track of everything. And it's not enough that
men will do stuff when asked. They should be looking
around and doing stuff on their own, which yes they should,
but when you have a clearer division of labor, this
becomes less of an issue. Like the woman in the video,
my husband handles most of our bills for some reason.
(01:54):
I do stuff like pay our pool guy or when
we've had babysitters. That's in my column. I think I've
only just this moment realized that I pay anyone who
uses Venmo, and he pays all the cash check and
credit card using people.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
So.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
There was another video recently of the football playing Kelsey Brothers,
and Jason Kelsey was wearing shorts on a red carpet
because his wife was running late with his jeans. The
unmarried brother Travis Kelcey, the one that's dating Taylor Swift
mocked him for it.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Let's roll the clip, Let's move on. Is them Kelsey Premiere?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Hey?
Speaker 5 (02:29):
How was it?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Brother?
Speaker 5 (02:30):
It was actually pretty cool? Really enjoyed it. We had
a picture you on the green carpet, not the red carpet.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
You really got dressed up.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I was going to have jeans on, but Kylie, Kylie what?
Kylie was running late? I just came straight from football.
Kylie was going to bring the jeans. Kylie was late.
Why didn't Jason bring jeans for Jason? Because I was
at football and I needed the jeans.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
For after football.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
And I'm not going to wear jeans all day. That's
just not done. Some fun. And I'm realizing now I
probably can't blame Kylie for this anyway. Oh yeah, I
wore shorts and sans. He was too busy putting jeans
on the three girls.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yes, she was too.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Busy getting the entire family situated with the babysitter and
then getting herself ready and making sure our parents are
with her.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Just see you pull it up.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
You don't have my jeans.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
I'm gonna look like an idiot. Gosh, so true. So true.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Women online swooned over Travis understanding that Kylie's mental load
was already heavy. My take is that this is breakdown
responsibilities that is working for this couple. Could she have said, hey, Jason,
bring your own jeans, and I'm sure he would have
been fine with that, But maybe bringing his genes after
the game is in her department, and I bet she's
(03:47):
completely okay with that. If my mental load is larger
than my husband's, and I admit that it almost definitely is,
it's because I choose to think about a lot of
different things that don't necessarily need to be thought about,
you know, as intensely as I do. I'm currently thinking
about a trip we might take next December. It's January.
(04:08):
So does that trip need to take up space in
my brain?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Now? It doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But I like getting things done. I like daydreaming about trips.
I like thinking about things that we're going to do.
I like planning ahead for my kids. I enjoy all
of that, and if I didn't enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
My friend, the writer Kyle Smith, who has been on
this show, once wrote something like, it's not how does
she do it, it's why does she do it? You know,
to the idea of like, how does she do it?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
The woman who's doing it?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
All women tend to have higher standards than men about
a lot of things, so it does often feel like
we're increasing our own mental load. That's not a husband problem,
that's an us problem. I know, it's a me problem.
I know that I think about too many things and
put too many things on my plate and just enjoy
(05:01):
the process of thinking over a lot of different things
and what I need to do. But anyway, before you
get married, have some conversations about expectations. Some couples will
fall into a comfortable routine where the breakdown of who
does what is obvious. Other couples will struggle with this,
and it will lead to resentment and women complaining about
(05:24):
their mental load to their friends. Communication is the answer
to so many problems, and talking about what you expect
to have to handle and what your spouse will have
to handle will lead to an easier relationship and a
happier marriage. Coming up next, Dana lash Hi and welcome
(05:45):
back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My guest
today is nationally syndicated radio host, author, and second Amendment
advocate Dana lash Hi. Dana, thanks so much for coming on.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Hey Carol, thanks for having me well.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
As my listeners know, this is a largely non political show,
but I have to start off with something somewhat political today.
I need to say thank you to you, Dana, for
all of your support for Israel and for American Jews.
In the last few months. It's really been a dark time.
I try not to carry it over into the rest
of my life too much, but it's been tough, and
(06:22):
you have made a bad time better. So I have
to say thank you.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Well, thank you. I'm so I'm happy to hear that
it helped.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
And I can't I just can't stand to see cruelty,
and I can't stand to see the way that the
way that it's been discussed nationally, the way it's been
discussed internationally, and the way that you and so many
others have been treated. I have so many friends who
are Jewish, and I have some people married in my
family who are even Jewish, and I just I get
(06:50):
so angry when I see just that kind of that
purposeful injustice, like a design, purposeful, malicious intent injustice. And
so I'm happy that it helps someonet me and my
big giant mouth.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
You've been just fantastic, and it's yeah, I feel like
that so many people have been you know, questionable, and
you've been steadfast and amazing, and I just appreciate.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You so much.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
And I have to tell you that, you know, your
name just gets mentioned a lot among like people who
have been fantastic and that we really appreciate.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
So I appreciate you. Thank you. It's your appreciation of it.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
So I've been a big fan of yours for a
long time.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We only met for the first time last year, and
I think, I mean not to you know, not to.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Go weird, but I've known you so much longer.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I was going to say, I think it was an
instant connection. And I have to say that when I
bought my first gun this year last year now twenty
twenty three, and then when I bought my second gun
last year, I absolutely thought of you, like what do
you how do you feel being thought of as like,
you know, the gun girl.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
I you know, I love it.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Actually, I have people who who work in politics and
people who are I know that are consultants, and they
always say, well, you don't want to be you want
to be careful not to get pigeonholed with something which
I thought was really weird to say to me or
to anybody else, because it's a right. I don't care
if I'm pigeonholed for supporting your light. I would I
would love. I love the fact that you know that
(08:17):
I'm thought of when people think of exercising your rights
and self defense, and that means that I've done something right.
It means that I've been effective, and I'm just I'm
happy to see it because it means that, you know,
some of the hard things that I've been through my
life were worth it because other people feel empowered and
confident and they feel free to go out and do
(08:38):
what they need to do to protect themselves and their
families and enjoyed and be public about it. And so
I that brings me a lot of just pure joy
knowing that.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
So I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
That's yeah. I mean this was the year.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Last year again was the year that I took it from.
I've always been a Second Amendment advocate. I always supported
the Second Amendment. I just never actually we exercise that right.
So it really was kind of a big step for
me to go from just philosophically supporting gun rights to
you know, owning guns at home myself, and you really
were such an inspiration with that. But yeah, I think
(09:14):
that that's, you know, the right way to think about it.
You're supporting a right, and why should you, you know
not why shouldn't you focus on that? Why should it
be something that isn't you know, part of what you
speak out on.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
And I quite like.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
That, Yeah, especially when it's I mean it's so germane
to everything that's happening right now, particularly with crime rates,
and then I mean just you know, good heavens, you know,
attacks against Jewish Americans and the stuff that we've seen
as of late. I mean, we just saw people blocking
highways and all of that stuff. And we had the
what is it two years now of the BLM riots
(09:48):
and everything else, and we have these activist prosecutors and
people who are just lawless that are encouraged to continue
to be lawless because of this quote unquote restorative justice.
So people see that, and it's no wonder that they
want to feel secure. It's crazy that it's you know,
here in twenty twenty four, we would have to convince
anyone in the United States of America to just, you know,
(10:09):
make sure that you're secure and that your family's secure.
And by the way, you have the right to do
that and the freedom to do that every I mean,
that should be something that's intrinsically known, not something that
people have to be persuaded over. So I yeah, I
completely agree with you on that, and I think it's
I think there's going to be more and more people
that are sort of led to that and see that especially,
I mean, depending on how everything happens after November.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Absolutely, do you get recognized a lot, like.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Do you live a very public life?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Not?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I mean I'm so not.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
I yes, and no, I mean I've never there's I
was thinking about something the other day and it's like
this meme I guess that's online where everyone was taught
to stop drop and roll.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
I'm going to bring this tugboat to short It's going
to make sense.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
And I thought, I'm going to be on fire a
lot when I'm an adult, so we really have to
practice the stop drop and roll. And I always thought,
you know, because that I would be especially after my
advocacy and stuff to went to a national level. I
guess I always thought that any kind of recognition in
public that I would meet would be hateful. And honestly,
(11:10):
I've never had like a one on one or you know,
even a small group experience in public where anybody has
been hateful. I've everybody's been very kind. And you know,
what happens every now and again, especially in Texas, and
I live in a very very conservative area, so it
happens probably more here than it would anywhere else. But
everybody's been really cool, and it you know what happens.
(11:31):
People are usually just you know, oh thanks, you know,
whether it's for the town hall or the worker making,
you know, talking about a policy or explaining a legislative proposal,
people are just.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
You know, they're like, oh, thank you.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
And I mean it's you know, it's not why I
do it, but it's you know, it's it's nice and
and it makes sometimes when you know you're in the
fight and you're in the thick of it, it's those
things that you kind of reflect on that that sort
of you know, light the way forward a little bit.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
So it's nice.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
So when we first met this last year, also the
first time that I met your husband, and I think
you guys are just such a adorable couple, and you're
you seem like very well.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Suited and just, oh my god, have it going on?
How long are you guys together?
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Twenty three years. We've been married for twenty three years.
We actually got engaged after knowing each other for three months.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Yeah, it was a.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Little crazy, and our family was, like his family was
very excited. He's almost eight years older than I am,
and I've always been kind of an old soul, but
I also was, you know, when I was growing up,
I was a little bit different from the way I
am now with some of.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
My ideological outlooks.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
But I'd only been raised one particular way by one
typical type of people, and so I had no views
on women and marriage and everything else. But you know,
God love him because he is honestly the only man
who could put up with me all over the place
all the time. I can't sit still. I always have
to be doing something. I am not the person who
(12:59):
just find is it easy to relax, Like if I
have time off or if I'm on vacation, I still
find the need to do stuff. I mean, I started
to crochet during lockdown because I could not stand to
sit still for so long.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Wow, that wasn't enough. I'm like, I'm going to learn.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
How to needle point because I clearly need more things
to do. I just I love being busy, and I
think that would aggravate the living will out of most people.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
And he just rolls with it.
Speaker 6 (13:23):
He just is like whatever, she's doing her thing, and
he's got love him. He's the only person. He was
made for me. He was absolutely made for me.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So what views of yours on women have changed?
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Oh, my gosh, well, I mean naturally.
Speaker 6 (13:38):
Growing up being in the family of Southern Democrats in
southern Missouri, I was raised to be a Democrat like
everybody else in my family, I didn't even meet I
did not meet a Republican hands to guy until college.
I did not meet a Republican until I was a
freshman in college. It was the first time I ever
met anyone who's a Republican, anybody who was.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Not like me.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
All my family were very far left, and they mostly
still are. They're very far left. And I just thought, well,
I'm a feminist, naturally, because that's everything that I've been told.
I didn't even know the difference between first, second and
third wave. I was just told feminist and I'm like, okay, yeah,
I am one. And then you know, growing up and
you're watching MTV and VH one and everything else, it's
like just shoved in your face. And that's my generation.
(14:19):
I'm kind of on the younger end of Gen X.
That's everything that we consume. Music, you know, MTV when
back when they played music videos, that's all we had,
and pop culture, movies, entertainment, everything that was the narrative
that was shoved in your face. If you're a young woman,
this is how you identify. And so I just adopted
it because I didn't know anything better. And then the
older I got, the more open minded I became. And
(14:41):
my family said that I went to the big city
and got brainwashed, which I thought was funny.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Funny that happens in reverse, right, I have other way.
Speaker 6 (14:50):
So I ended up disagreeing with a lot of positions
that I had inherited and thought were my own and
weren't actually my own. And then when I began questioning,
you know, the inherited positions, that was not good. And
so now here we are. But yeah, that's that's changed
a lot. That was one of the biggest ones that changed.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
We're going to take a quick break and be right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. It's interesting you mentioned,
like the MTV era, there was a magazine called Sase.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I don't know if you remember this.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
It was a yes, I remember that.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, I love Sassy, Like I would wait at the
newsstand for the day that it would come out.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I didn't know about subscribing.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
That was too complicated for me at the store.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
But so it's funny because when I tell people that I, oh,
I read Sassy, they were like, oh, and how did
you end up conservative?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Like that was such a liberal.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Magazine And I was like, that magazine was very much
like be who you are, believe what you want, you know.
It just it's very different than what alternative kind of
magazines would be like today, which I think would push
a very leftist perspective. But back then, it was like
be yourself was the coolest, you know, way to be
and myself was conservative, so I I you know, even
(16:01):
when MTV was like, you know, rocking the vote, I
was like, I will rock the vote. I will vote
for you know, Charge bush Well.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
And I'm so glad that you brought that up because
back then and I remember that was like their whole,
their whole vibe. And and with MTV back then even
I mean, my gosh, Kennedy, who I know, I think
we both know. When she was a v D show
Republican Quail supporter, I didn't know anybody under fifty who
liked Jale and I was the younger woman on television
(16:30):
who liked Dan Quayle and I and I'm like, that's
I had not had that in any type of representation.
But it was cool to have weird Republican friends, right.
That was part of the whole alternative thing, like you, oh, yeah,
you can have It was like almost cool to have
a weird Republican friend, right, yeah, this is my Republican friend.
And just I don't know, like there was some sort
(16:51):
of something that you got from that, some cred that
you got from that.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Now it's like, oh God, you have a friend who's
a Republican. That's a betrayal, right.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I mean if you had like a mainstream famous friend,
like they would have to keep you hidden, Like I mean,
I know that that's the case. I mean, I you know,
somebody like a culture for example, has told me, you
know about kind of mainstream famous people that she's friends
with who they cannot be openly friends, and it's you know,
it's no longer cool to know people or be friends
(17:23):
of people who have different perspectives. It's become you know,
you have to walk that very thin line and you
have to stay with the group at all times.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
It's kind of sad.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I feel like we had a nice time in our
youth where it was okay to be different, and now
it's very much not.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
That was the true counter culture and now it's all boring.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Now it's so boring, and conversations are boring, and that
makes everything that we talk about boring, and entertainment bore
because there isn't a contrast of ideas. I mean, there's
there aren't even any actual debate shows anymore. One of
my favorite shows ever was Tough Crowd.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
With Colin Quinn. I loved that show.
Speaker 6 (18:02):
Colin Quinn was hysterical and he would have people on
that show that were infuriatingly wrong, but they were hysterical
and they all got along afterwards because nobody took it personally.
Everyone's like, oh, we disagreed and we're going to bust
up and now we're all good.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Hi.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
That was yeah, We're right. We had it so good.
The younger generations won't even know what they missed.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
It's so sad we did.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, that's definitely true. So you have this great marriage,
you have an outstanding radio show, super popular, best selling books.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Do you feel like you've made it?
Speaker 6 (18:34):
I actually judge whether or not I've made it by
whether or not I lived.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Up to what I wrote in my senior high school
memory book. And I don't love that.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
Everybody had, like the scrap books everybody signs in. The
girl's books were like you couldn't even close them, and
the boys they didn't even open them. They just wouldn't
want a package for their senior package, and they never
did anything with them. But in mine, I wanted to
work in I wanted to be an author, and I
wanted to drive a jeep, and I wanted to live
in the mountains in Colorado, and I wanted to be
(19:06):
married and have kids. That's what I wanted, I listed,
so I ended up at one point I had a jeep.
I couldn't live in the mountains because I get altitude sickness,
but I do go over there, which was really sad.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I was like, oh, I guess I got to check
that off my book. But that's how I can.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
You know, I'm married and have kids, and I feel
like that is how I made it. I feel like
I accomplished those things and I feel content. I mean,
I do feel content with what I do. I'm not
in need of really, I don't really need to do
anything more. It's just driven by my absolute inability to
just not do anything.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
And I love what I do.
Speaker 6 (19:42):
I love, you know, talking to people like you and
your awesome podcast and your cool audience, and you know,
I love reading your stuff.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
By the way, Carol's you know, she's ad ass and
around right.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
I love I love doing it, and I think that
is that is I love what I do. So I
feel like because of that alone, I feel, Yeah, I do,
I do. I feel completely content, and that's how I
measure it.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
It's so good.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
What would you say is our biggest cultural or societal
problem in America?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And do you think it's solvable?
Speaker 4 (20:11):
I do?
Speaker 6 (20:13):
But whether or not I do think it's solvable. I
don't think it's a question of whether or not it
can be solved. I think it's a question of whether
or not people have the will to solve it, whether
or not they have.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
The interest to solve it.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
And there's so many I think there's so many things
wrong with our society. But I think the first thing
is that people are focused too much on self and
not and not focused on other not focused on others,
I think everyone and you know, I get it. It's
like a doggy dog world and it's just like everything
that we're in an influencer society where literally everyone's a brand,
which sounds just like a walking nightmare, but that's, you know,
(20:46):
the society in which we live and you're being sold
something all the time. Twenty four to seven, I remember
we used to joke just like looking on Instagram and
seeing pictures of people's sandwiches and we all thought that
was going long for those days, like bring.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Back not sandwiches.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, I love that. That was when it was so innocent.
But everyone is so self naval gazing.
Speaker 6 (21:07):
I think that we're not seeing the bigger picture of
what's happening everywhere else. We're focused on what's happening in
our lives and in our only in our communities, which
I think that you have to appreciate the relationship that
it has with the whole. We're focused on just one
party or just one political idea or just won this
or one that, And I think that's a that's a
huge problem because when you get self out of the
(21:30):
way and you put others first, that really dramatically changes society.
But that's not at all what society right now is
constructed to encourage down marketing, to entertainment, to everything. So
I think just at its most basic level, I think,
you know, self, too much focus on self is really
kind of what's one of the biggest the biggest problems.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
And everybody needs God, that's the other.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
But it is an issue of willpower because I think
there's just too much incentive to change or to not change.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Rather, so how do we how do we overcome it?
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I mean, it's it's very hard to get the people
to no longer see themselves as a brand. I mean,
it's funny because you know, we're public people. I think, like,
you know, just living living our lives the way we do,
there's some consideration for you know, I hate to think
of myself as a brand.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I hate that kind of thinking at all.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
But I see people who like have you know, one
hundred fifty followers on Instagram treat themselves like a brand
and get I get that they want to grow and
et cetera. But it's just why would you go that
path if you didn't have to, Like I feel like
if I didn't need to be on social media for
my job, I don't know that I would do it.
Speaker 6 (22:39):
Yeah. Well, I can't stand being on Instagram. I love
looking at other.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
People say it's sort of my favorite one.
Speaker 6 (22:46):
I hate it and I don't even enjoy well x
I guess I mean I enjoy it because I get
a lot of my news from that or.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Really, I don't know. I just I don't. I just
don't know.
Speaker 6 (22:57):
I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or
what it is. But I think my consumption is changing
where I'm not going to want to consume any of it, right.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
But that's what I mean. That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I think that if I didn't have to be on
But Twitter was definitely my most love hate. Like when
I when I need an Internet break, like I take
Twitter off my phone.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
It's because because I can't control myself.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I'm constantly off your phone.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Oh I when I especially when I go on vacation.
It's now standard where I take it off my phone
and I have to tell you how many times I
click the empty space, like just automatically, like click where
the app used to be.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
It's really I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
No, you have some times you have to like disconnect
and really like not not get the news. Like I
was off in December and I basically missed the Nikki
Haley slavery story. It was just coming back to it
what Nick Haley thinks slavery wasn't part of the Civil War.
Like I was like, you know what, I don't even
I'm not even going to catch up on it. Like
(23:57):
it's it's it's over, whatever it was, it's done now.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Yeah. No, I agree with you. I I mean, to
your to your question.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
I think the biggest issue, I mean really is you know,
people not putting others first and and putting themselves first
and being so hyper focused on themselves.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
And it is so reflected digitally.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
It is so reflected with especially the way our kids
are influenced and all of the you know, the social
media appetites that the youth has.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
It just feels like.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
There's a huge set of problems that that the youth
have nowadays that I don't think would exist were it
not for the oversaturation of social media everything, because you're
in constant comparison. You're comparing yourselves with other people and
you and and focusing on what everybody else has and
what everybody else is doing as a way of, you know,
(24:43):
trying to promote yourself and push yourself and and and
and it drives in security. I think it drives a
lot of stuff. I don't I could talk about this
a million different routes forever on it.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
There's so many different things that are related to it.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
But ultimately, you know, the biggest problem I think is
is just people being self centered, selfish and self centered
and not focusing on others first. And I think everyting, no,
I mean nobody, not even myself, are are completely innocent people.
We are all sure, we are all culpable in this
to some extent, some you know more than others, but
(25:15):
you know, by and large we're all guilty of it.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
And I just it does take. It takes.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
It takes a choice, a purposeful choice and will to
actively put others first. And that goes into even saying,
you know, like what people are like, what you're thinking,
and what I'm thinking that the commentary that I started
out in when I was I mean, gosh, I've been
doing this since I was in my twenties, and when
I first started in commentary, I've always been kind of
(25:40):
a loud mouth. And I come by it honest because
all the women in my family are very similar.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
We all are.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
But I did not care how it affected and who
it affected. I didn't care how it affected how someone
else might perceide themselves or others. I did not care
about it. And I still facts don't care about feelings.
Everybody knows that, right. If I wanted to just be mean,
I would just be mean, even if it was just
a way to prove a point. Yeah, And I took great,
(26:07):
you know, satisfaction in that. And with age comes wisdom.
And then I look back and I'm like, well, if
this is about persuasion and I'm not persuading people, and
if what I'm saying is actually turning them away, then
have I not just become my biggest opponent? Like how
stupid am I that I'm actually shooting myself rhetorically in
the foot and I'm driving people away. Now there's a
(26:29):
time and Roadhouse is a great cinematic masterpiece. And there's
an amazing scene in Roadhouse where Patrick Swayze is saying
there's a time to be nice and there's a time
to not be nice.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
And they have a great exchange there that still holds true.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
But I think that there's a lot of nuance there
being mean or trying to own someone for the sake
of doing it. What is the purpose if you're not
trying to persuade someone. It's not like you know, we're
we're not supposed to be in this giant digital fallis
measuring contest. I mean, if you're trying to persuade someone,
that persuade them. But if you're trying to turn them away,
well then aren't you just aiding the people that you're
claiming to oppose and fight against. It doesn't make any sense.
(27:03):
So that is even in the way that we speak
uh to others and about others, I think also plays
into that.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
And you know, I've you know, I've been humbled with
that before. I'm not gonna lie about it. I've been
humbled by my own words before. Right, they have come
back to bite me.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
And like I said, you know, with with age comes wisdom,
and I definitely see the way and importance of that
of that now and how that goes into you know,
like I just said, our greatest issue right absolutely.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
I think I mean just the growth that has to
happen where you you know, view things that the way
you used to handle things. Wait, I know, the way
I used to talk on like my blog originally when
I first started out, I would just be so sarcastic
and kind of.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
You know, biting. That was that was the time. It
was sort of what.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Made people popular. But it is cringe ority definitely.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
And it's still I mean, and we're still it's not
to say not to be honest, but I think that
there's what is the purpose and always asking, you know,
what is what is the purpose of of you know,
the way that we're messaging stuff, And yeah, it's I mean,
there's it's really hard, especially now because in commentary particularly
just sort of grow up publicly in political punditory in
(28:15):
front of the nation. And that's what a lot of
us have done, starting from our twenties going out into
our early forties.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
That's I mean, that's a long time to be in
the public eye.
Speaker 6 (28:24):
And in right commentary and there's you know, that's you
can chart the growth.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
It's very interesting, right, Well, I love talking to you.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
You're so awesome and smart.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
And here with your best tip for my listeners on
how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 6 (28:42):
So I thought about this because you sent us out.
I don't know if I don't like tell people how
the sauceaget make. Yeah, you sent us out, And I thought,
this is actually a really hard question, and I think, honestly,
the biggest thing that I can think of. And I
wrote a whole book about this, and because I was
going to go with a million different things, and I
ended up coming back to this in your book.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
By the way, what's the book called Grace?
Speaker 6 (29:03):
I think I'm a horrible self promoto Grace Canceled and
Grace Cancel was the last book I wrote. And it
dropped literally the week of like right before the country
shut down, which was crazy, so I had everything canceled.
It was it was horrific. Uh, don't write a book
right before lockdowns happened.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Don't have a lot.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
But you know, I was thinking of, you know, telling
people will just you know, be honest with you know
what you think, and be'n afraid to be honest, and
that's all well and good, but honestly, I think that
people should just have some grace. And it's weird for
me to say this because I don't want to have it.
I have to talk myself into stop being, you know,
such a be stop it just to be, you know.
(29:42):
But I think have grace because sometimes you know, people
are going to mess up, and nobody's perfect and we
are in an unprecedented time. I think every time is unprecedented,
but especially so now, and we are all just faulty
beings dealing in the best way that we can. So
if somebody is that says something that you don't necessarily
maybe like all the way or you think is you know,
(30:04):
have some grace and have some grace with each other
in meat space, not just digitally.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
But I think if everybody had a little.
Speaker 6 (30:10):
Bit more grace, which also requires you to sacrifice putting
yourself first, I think that goes a long way into
just everybody kind of getting along a little bit better
and maybe solving some of these problems we're all dealing with.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I love that I will try to have more grace.
Thank you, Dana, Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Love talking to you. Check out her show, get her books.
She's fantastic. Dana Lash, thank.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
You, thank you, thanks so much for joining us on
the Carol Marcowitch Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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