January 29, 2024 • 33 mins
In this episode, Karol expresses concerns about media portrayal of polyamory, citing a New York Times article and discomfort with the book "More." She advocates for traditional marriage representation. Plus, Annika Hernroth-Rothstein, an election advisor and CEO, Annika shares her global experiences, particularly in Iran and Venezuela, discussing cultural identity and societal issues. Annika's stories of connection and risk in these countries highlight her advocacy work. The Karol Markowicz Show is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network - new episodes debut every Monday & Thursday.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We have to be aware of bad ideas, and.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
That's why I'm sharing with you that I cringed through
an article in The New York Times reviewing a new
book about polyamory called More So that you don't have
to a.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Rich lady who lives in Parkslope, Brooklyn, which is where
we lived before we moved to Florida, so I can
tell you park Slope is where the worst of ideas
are born. She goes out one night and flirts with
a man in a bar. When she tells her husband
about it, he suggests she's sleep with the man and
tell him about it. They proceed to open their marriage
(00:42):
and have what sounds like the most horrific experiences ever,
and they suggest you do the same. The husband admits
he was not at all discerning about who he slept
with when they first open their marriage, but it doesn't
really sound like the wife was either. At first, she
mostly slept with men who were cheating on their wives.
Great and then she describes people like Carl the German,
(01:05):
who pushes her to have a threesome with him and
his fiance and then never calls her again. Or the
French guy who refuses to wear condoms and likes to
have sex in public bathrooms and she ends up getting
kicked out of a coworking space because you're really not
supposed to have sex in there, and she talks about
a younger guy who is well endowed but can't actually
perform in bed so hot, And then there's the part
(01:28):
about her kids finding out that the parents have opened
their marriage that just made me.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Want to die.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
The truth is that, in general, I'm very free wheeling
about what you want to do with your own life.
Are there people who will be happy with polyamory? I
don't really believe it because it discounts human nature completely.
But if that's what you're into and it works for you,
go on have fun. What bothers me is that marriage,
(01:56):
actual marriage where two people love and support each other
and are actually happy together, really never get the New
York Times treatment. It's all unhappy marriages and unhappy people
stepping out on their spouses and trying to convince the
rest of us that this is the best way. I
get that stories about happy people with functioning relationships and
(02:17):
non cringy sex isn't a story, but we have to
wonder why that is. And something I think about is
that most people still believe that fifty percent of marriages
end in divorce, and it's completely not true. That was
at its peak in the eighties, and I would say
that part of that was cultural and portraying divorces like
this fun, amazing thing you should try. But that number
(02:39):
is actually about a third of marriages today, and that's
genuinely a sharp decline. Part of the reason I started
this show was because of all this negativity around marriage
and our culture, and the constant push of these kinds
of stories that portray marriage as a burden and family
life as something you need to shrug off into order
(03:00):
to be happy. I like having guests on who are
in happy marriages or hoping to get into one. I
like showing that the better path is to find a
real partner, to have a balanced marriage, and to get
to be your actual self and not be scouring cheating
websites to find random men to fulfill something in you
that just won't ever be satisfied. On this show, I
(03:24):
hope to be the antidote to stories like the ones
The New York Times shows you, and I thank you
for listening. Coming up next an interview with Anaka Rothstein.
Join us after the break.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.
My guest today is Anika hernroth Rothstein. Anika is an
election advisor and author, CEO of the ad Agency No
Mad Ghana and just all around badass. Hi, Anika, so
nice to have you.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So nice.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
We're an introduction.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I love it. I added that last bitch.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
No, I'm like, I kind of feel like I need
to update my business cards.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I agree, I definitely like I leave that's not already
on your business card?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Honestly, No, I mean it's so it's your's.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
You're our first international guest obviously, and you're yeah. I
mean it's been all people in America thus far, and
you're a Swedish woman in Ghana.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
How did that happen?
Speaker 4 (04:28):
So?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Oh wow? By accident is in my life? I would say.
The very short, the condensed version is that I had
just gotten back from Venezuela. Was supposed to take a
break because I had like an int as you now,
like an intense time in Venezuela. I get a message.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I remember the Venezuela years.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
That was a lot. So I was like, Oh, I'm
going to chill out, like maybe write my second book
or do something. And then I get a DM on
Twitter from somebody who says want to work on elections
in Africa. I feel like it would be a really
great bit. Saw what you did in Venezuela. If you
can survive that, you can do anything. And because I
(05:10):
have no impulse control whatsoever thing in the city, I
thought to myself, that sounds wild. Let's do that. And
that is now four years ago. Wow, and some change.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah, So do you see yourself staying there?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I don't know. I've learned not to think too hard
on these things because it just tends to not work
out that way. I gave myself five years when I came,
and it ended up like being a good situation for me.
Initially I said five years because five years is as like,
after five years you live lived somewhere. Maybe that's just
(05:51):
my infernal logic, but after five years you're properly sid
at all. And I haven't reached my level of maturity
in life yet where I'm comfortable being properly settled in.
I think I think five years makes sense, Yeah, because
it just felt it felt right. So I'm thinking that
I'm going in six months, I'll take like a mini
(06:15):
break somewhere and think about it and figure some stuff out.
But that's that's the level of planning that I'm at.
I always and so far good kind of.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
So Anaka's book is Exile. It's very you could see,
it's very well worn.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I read it a lot.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
It's portraits of the Jewish diaspora, and it what it
is is.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It traces Jewish communities all.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Around the world in different places that you wouldn't imagine
there are Jewish communities. So what would you say was
your kind of most unique place that you.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Visited and what did you like about it?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Why?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I mean Iran is the thing that stands out, I
suppose because it's it's a Jewish community that a lot
of people think about, have opinions about, used as a
tool for in various debates, whether it's for or against something.
The Persian Jews are and the Jews of Iran are
(07:17):
are used a lot. You know, that's something I found
after the fact, but being there it impacted me. It
made me a much more art and sight and is
I think I mean, I was pretty cooper to courts
a begin Withay, but if you made me understand, like, yeah,
I was sort of to the to the right of
(07:38):
Genghis Khan before that, and then it just moved. But
most of us have never had an experience, been able
to figure out what life is like before Israel or
without Israel. Thank God, we don't know that. But being
in Iran made me understand what my life would be
like as a Jew or not for this date of Israel.
(08:01):
That was the I could walk in their shoes for
a moment, and I mean, of course I could leave,
so it's different. But it made me understand the enormest
freedom that comes with even me in the diaspora, for
me to be a Jew feel free to speak, act
(08:23):
be Jewish, speak out, act out because I know that
I have a light wrap, you know, somebody watching my back. Yeah,
there's always a backup, right, And I was able to
spend two months with people who have no backup. It
humbled me to what they have to do, what they
(08:45):
can't do, what they have to do with, they can't say,
what they have to say, all of those things, which
is why I'm today. I must start seeking the bender
of them and also very sensitive to when people speak
about them. I would say, but it was. And then
of course I was able to go to the tomb
of Estern Mordecai, which was, you know, a tremendously emotional
(09:06):
experience to be in an ancient Jewish community and and
just it felt I mean, everywhere you go where there's Jews,
that's home, you know, to some extent. But it was
it's more with the political aspects of it, the the autrocities,
atrocities that they go through every day. But how do
(09:27):
you shabat mew and Tehran is something that will they
would read forever. It was like, it's it's the amazing experience.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
So you spent a lot of time in Venezuela, and
I think you really quite have an affinity for the
Venezuelan people.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Is that fair to say?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I feel like I've heard some real warmth from you
about them.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
What was that like? What was your How long did
you spend in Venezuela? Excited you were there?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I was there? Yeah, I was there, And.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
I'm not like a long time ago either, like it
was I mean I'm saying and it wasn't like pre revolution.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
It was like right, it was like fury half years ago,
I guess now that I left, or even less. And
I mean, it's it's affinity, it's passion, it's love for them,
and I sirened it salts like home. I guess maybe
that also speaks to my love of chaos from chaos
(10:22):
and noise, you know, So maybe that's between me and
my therapist what went on minutter, But but it just
I it was one of those places. And the same
thing with Iran. I was supposed to be there for
like a week and it turned into two months, which
was ill advised in a lot of ways. The same
thing happened in Venezuela because I was supposed to go
(10:45):
there cover. I came there right after Unguido had announced,
so it's like, I'm going to go there. I'm not
gonna write about it. Maybe go to shool and we're done.
And I stayed a year because I just could not
stop digging at it, because it's one of those places
where you think you get it and then something happens
(11:11):
and then you understand, oh, so it's all shit. I
thought that, you know, I came there. I think I
was I still wanted to believe that there's like a
good and a bad and you know that I there
could be just this unequivocally good side and somebody is
(11:31):
fighting in the freedom and justice thing of it all.
Of course we all love that on the the curve
of that drama is it speaks to it all of us.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Do you want to tell us about that?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Or is that a touch well if it's not touchy,
I mean I was deported, so I was so as
you are right, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I love the first deported, by the way, the first.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Time I was deported, yes, because obviously that was not
the only time.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
ANKA was deported.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
No, it was the signs of two kidnappings, one deportation,
one illegal entry and one warrant for my arrest by
being sabine, which is that's why I ultimately left after
a year, because I was deported and of course you
can't enter again technically, but it's quite easy to smuggle
(12:30):
oneself in through into Venezuela from Colombia. Usually people go out,
as we know, usually bye, I usually me, But I
actually I had the help of a rabbi. I won't
mention his name, but a rabbi helped me right sneak
into Venezuela across the bridge. So I came back. I
(12:54):
got kidnapped again for the second time after having done that.
And then and they found out I was there illegally
and use that as an excuse to issue a warrant
for my arrest the intelligence services, does it be? And
then that even I realized that you don't want to
get disappeared in Venezuela by people who are trained by Cubans. Yeah,
(13:19):
so so.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I got I remember thinking I need anaka to get
out of there, like right now.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
And that's an Yeah, that was there were again, I
knew there were you obviously.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I love that there's that there's this amazing you know,
Jewish Swedish woman who goes to these crazy places and
tells us the stories. But like a lot of people,
I'm sure in your life you you worry me.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You definitely worry me.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, I mean there was there was a time when
during that time, my best friend was a very calm
and collected woman wrote me and said, I would like
you to send me your funeral plans as I assuming
that I'm the one that didn't.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
The foot bull fall.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
And at that point I realized she sounds Russian.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Honestly, yes, she was very light to that is that
I would like to know. I'm assuming you want to
be clone to Israel, so please let me know how
I should go about that. But that was the point
at which when you have to negotiate your exits with
a foreign intelligence service, which was what I was doing.
I hit an abrothel for a few days and negotiated
(14:28):
my way out. The only leverage I had was my
Twitter following and basically putting them on blasts and and
basically they are anti Semitism because they believed that I
was much more connected than I actually am. So that
was because I had been accused of being as always
a Zionist entity, spy, et cetera. You know, the user,
(14:51):
the usual style interloper. Yeah, you know, that's just what
they usually the classic the hits. I'm so so I
use that to my advantage and basically play that side
up dramatically and said, you know, if you do not
allow me like safe passage, you know, the Mussad will
(15:13):
come down on you, which I verish scouted at anybody.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I totally know them, but I totally know no. I
can tweet at method right now.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Actually, let me go so there, so that was it.
That was the end of that year, and a lot
of people, are you really on both sides that right?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I'm sure we're going to take a quick break and
be right back on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
So I don't know if I've told you this before,
but I've been.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
To Venezuela a few times when I was young. Oh,
it's actually our first trip. Well, so you know, I'm
born in Russia. I moved to America. My parents super poor,
but their whole life is as soon as they make
any money is to travel. And our very first international trip,
(16:07):
or I think it might have been our very first
trip anywhere, is to Venezuela. And we get there and
we get to the Caracas Hilton and it is, oh
my god, magical a pool. I don't think I'd ever
swam in a pool until that point. And then we
take like a rickety plane to Canaima National Park, which
is you know, red water and piranhas and and just
(16:31):
the most beautiful thing ever. But for me, I was like,
can we go back to that pool.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
At the Hilton, because that was way better than this
hut that we're sleeping in at night.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
So I have warm, warm memories of Venezuela, and it
was a Russian hot spot. I don't want to say Russian.
I mean ex Soviet Jews who live in New York,
not Russians in Russia. But Venezuela was a big tourist
destination for a long time until until it wasn't. So
I hope that they get back to, you know, being
(17:05):
a country where you can be safe and I can
take my kids on a rickety plain to Kanaima again someday.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Because it is that would be the goal.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
It's the goal. And it's also even now when I
live in Ghana. My favorite place in Ghana is a
region that lives exactly like Venezuela. So it's really what's
the region, the Volta region, So it has the same
you know, the mountain and river and rainforests, and it's
(17:39):
both slow and fast paced at the same time in
a very strange way. There's like an intensity to it,
and it's I mean, I guess there's some irony in
The places that I love the most are places that
that maybe I could get into those countries again, but
I'm not sure how I would be allowed to lead.
So the list of those countries are growing, which.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Is really the most important part.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
I found that it is I've learned through the yess
that that leaving is really essential, or leaving on your
own terms, right is essential. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
So a question that I ask all of my guests
is what do you think is our largest cultural societal
problem in America? But obviously you're not Americans. So what
would you say? Is worldwide the largest cultural or societal problem?
And is it solvable? Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Wow, okay, worldwide? That's a lot of responsibility.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
I mean, I think a country if you want, well,
I hoppy too, you eat it. You know, Sweden's biggest
cultural problem.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Is I'd get care soled if I said yes, yes.
But I mean as a person. You know this, I've
written extensively about it that as a kid, I spent
my summers in Dallas and Texas and it kind of
started my whole love affair with the US. And it
was so drastically different because Sweden and like the nineties
(19:09):
early nineties was a closed country. I mean a lot
of socialism, a lot of like one chance from the TV,
one kind of ketchup that kind of thing, and right,
you're right, And I got to Texas As like an
eight year old, and I was like, whatever this is,
(19:32):
like put it straight into my vein, Like I was the.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Most like I'm converting to American right now.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
It was always amazing thing I've ever experienced.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
And that and also just to have Texas, Yeah, to
have Texas be your first American experience, like the most American,
you know.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yeah, And I kept going back and going back, and
I stayed with my dad's best friend from high school.
My dad went to high school in Dallas. This guy
was it wouldn't happen today, single man in his fifties,
hardcore Republican. We basically watched the news, went to the Alamo,
(20:16):
went to the school, the book depository, and like he
was like taking me through. We watched the OJ trial together.
Like there was a lot of like different wow memory.
But the thing that I fell in love with was
how unapologetic it all was. Right, Like there was clear identity.
(20:38):
I understood what it was like some of it was
loud and strange and a lot, but I unders added
what it was because people understood who they were, which
to me as a Swedish part so big yeah, And
as a European that's like Wow, people are saying like this,
who I am, I'm standing by I had a shirt
that said, don't mess it with Texas. I'm like, okay,
(20:59):
I love that, right, Like I get this, yeah, And
to ject the post that with Europe's dramatic lenning, and
I what I see today because I went through most
of my life assuming that everything else can change. Europe
changes a lot through my adults are growing into an
adult that has changed drastically. But I knew that the
(21:20):
US would always stay the same, I thought. And what
I see now in the US is very reminiscent of
what I've seen in Europe over the past, that's say,
ten to fifteen years, which is lack of identity so interesting,
And it's the thing that has because we've all the
(21:40):
movements you've seen in the US now all this extreme.
Isn't this sad pick in the vitriol, the bizarre identity
politics we lived with that, Like I've lived in this
story already, like I've seen the movie already. Never in
my wildest dreams would I think that this would take
place in the US. But I think it's although the
(22:03):
European lack of identity comes from a different wound in
my opinion, which is the Second World War and sort
of the lessons, the wrong lessons that were taken from that.
They kind of cast off nationalism and national identity and
all of these things. Right, I'm working very hard not
to make this like a Ted Talks of Skip but
(22:24):
what I.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
But I'm like in my head, I'm like, after this,
I'm going to message Onnica and say you have to
write about this, Like, you must write something about this.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
This is such a good point that I really don't
think I've seen made elsewhere.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Well what I saw, go on, please, Yeah, what I
saw is that I'm going to take one thing that
to me when I watched it as a person wise
strong ways to the to the Middle East and to Europe,
as a Jew, all of these things, although I hate
saying as a Jew, so it's.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Just as a Jew, right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
When I saw Obama's Cairo speech, I was like, wait, wait, wait,
this is different. This is like a crack in the veneer.
This is a way of speaking about America and the
world that I don't and I'm not American, but somebody
who is like wholeheartedly adopted America and he has a
(23:18):
love affair with that country. This is not the identity
that I know it to be. It is apologetic. It
is moving away from like, oh, we're not all that.
We don't want to be too involved, we don't want
to be this, we don't want to be that. It's
it was distinct. He was distancing himself, and by such
(23:39):
shame the US from all the things that we desperately
need the US to be. Because it's applicable to draw
like a very very perhap strange conclusion from it me
as it like as a European Jew, I learned very
early often if I become of myself, they're gonna punch
(24:03):
me twice as hard. Nothing good will ever come of
me saying sorry, sorry, sorry, I don't like Israel. I'm
not that Jewish. I'm Jewish. Don't worry about it, right,
your food don't.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, they don't even kill you last at that point anymore, you.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Know, like there are now like like my mom always said,
there are no first class tickets on the trains Auschwitz,
and I understand it's a very hard statement, but it's
also no, it's real. It's what it is. And so
what I loved about the US was like, Okay, sometimes
it's like that guy that we sometimes think is an asshole.
(24:39):
I'm not sure I'm allowed to say that, but way,
you're totally loud to yeah, okay, but we respect him
because he is a monopoly. We know what he's about,
and we also know that like if I'm back into
a corner, this is the guy I'm calling. So yeah,
we aren't your man that entity, and now none of
(25:02):
that exists anymore. So it's like the same thing that
I see in Europe that for fifteen years we've been
in a tail span nobody went past. In Sweden specifically,
somebody asked what is it to be Swedish? They go, well,
I don't know. I'm saying I'm Swedish. It's a compliment.
And if you say somebody you're so UnSwedish, that's a
compliment in Sweden because we have some disdain for ourselves
(25:26):
and that is But yeah, I know you probably wanted
to do you.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
See the pedulum swinging?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
No?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
No, I love this answer.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I think this is like amazing and you definitely should
write about this and I'm going to read it.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
And share it. But do you think the pendulum will swing?
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Because I have to say, there was right before Brexit,
which you know, everybody was like no way, Bregsit's going
to pass, Like the polls were all like absolutely no.
A British lefty friend of mine posted something like what's
the big deal about being British? Like why do we
need to be on our own? Like why can't we
just like join, you know, join stay in the European Union?
(26:05):
Nothing makes us that special? And I swear when he
posted that, I was like, oh, wow, this thing is
going to pass. Like nobody wants to think they're not special,
nobody wants to think there's nothing unique about their culture.
Like I was like, this is passing. That was my moment,
and when it did, I was like, yeah, I mean
this is it. British people want to feel British, and
(26:26):
Swedish people, I think somewhere in there want to feel Swedish.
I think that's just like what's becoming and morble to say.
And every time, every time a right wing party wins
in Europe, it's like, how could this happen?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Well, I can tell you how this happens.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Well, Well, the problem is that in lieu of national identity,
everybody is the main character. Every single thing is the
main character with the goal should always be to have
a strong national identity so that we unite under a
certain Now we're living in a house without walls, you
know this, right, and everything kind of goes right. And
(27:03):
and with national identity comes sense of purpose, unity, religion,
most likely all of these things that are values allive
equal down. And when you take that away, you know,
a vacuum will will will long to fill itself with something.
And it's all these little piecers that come in and
(27:27):
where everybody is the main character. Everybody needs to replace
us because we need that identity and it's been taken
from us in Europe where we gave it out rather
and it's the pendulum swaying. Well, I think that what
I see in Europe is that, yeah, we have fractions,
right like, there are fractions where there's very strong identity
(27:48):
in this corner over here, in that corner over there,
But that's not what we're looking for. I have had
a strong sense of paradise lost for I don't know,
I guess it's twenty years now, Oh God forbid. Because
I grew up in a place that was very, very different.
It wasn't the most exciting place, but I knew what
(28:10):
it was, and that I don't think I in my
lifetime I will ever see again.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
We haven't talked about it, but you have these two
beautiful teenage sons, and you lived this exciting, amazing life.
You're you know, CEO of a company and you're just awesome.
Do you feel like you've made it?
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I don't think it's in the Jewish nature to ever
feel you've made it. I feel like I hover around
seventy five percent on a good day, like that's a
really good day. On a bad day, I'm like thirty
four perhaps so, and I don't expect that to ever change.
Like I recognize that there are some aspects of my life.
(28:50):
I have moments when I think, wow, this is crazy,
this is amazing. But it's like, you know, you know,
like Jewish parents when you come home and you have
like straight a's and then one being jam or in
my case, an amping jam. Then the fun the focus
in the gym like nobody.
Speaker 5 (29:11):
That's I am that Jewish parent that we flacted. The
joke in my house is like an a why not?
Like you know it's it a hundred why not one
hundred and five?
Speaker 3 (29:22):
You know it works? You know it's like my dad
every on every birthday I've ever had, Like that used
to be the running joke that his only question, like
no happy birthday, was always it's just the year you're
getting a PhD. And because it's like embarrassing to be
the person without a PhD, so come on, get some shanza.
(29:45):
So so I think that it's kind of in one's
nature to not feel like because I don't expect in
my life like to ever feel like, Oh I made it,
I'm cool, now I'm good. So but if I can
maintain a seventy five percent where I like that that's
the average, I'd be very pleased with that.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So end here with your best tip for my listeners
on how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Well, so the tip is as well, I thought about
this and I was like, oh, I have to be
like really profound, and then I thought, no, I have
to be like no, it's a lot of pressure. But
then I remember, So it's actually I'm the youngest of
three girls and my oldest sister gave me the best
(30:31):
advice I ever got and it changed my entire life.
And I was about twenty one twenty two. I was
in my very like naval gazing face that lasted about ten.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Years among us.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Right, yeah, it was a little, but it was also
like I was in the catch space where it was
a lot like Dad did this and mom did this
and won't me, and like I was really like heavy
into therapy and heavy into myself and heavy into what
everybody else owed me. And I guess she got sick
of it when they had coddled me for a long time,
(31:05):
because again, I'm the baby, so I expected that. And
then she kind of, yeah, she had a nap, and
she said, I'd like you to make a list of
the five best qualities in yourself, the fine things about
yourself that you're the most proud of, and I need this.
I really thought about it, because again I loved thinking
and talking about myself. So I was happy to get
(31:26):
this assignment because that was like pretty much my all
getting that. And I was like, oh, you know it, independence,
I'm intelligent, I'm a survivor, like all of these things,
and just said okay, and now i'd like you to
tell me how many of these are because you had
a happy childhood. And it shut me.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
It shut me.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Yeah, I'm going to use that A happy childhood it
really does, right, you know, lead to a lot of
other good things.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
So she looked at me, she was like, yes, so
things were kind of shit. Okay, dig where you stand,
say thank you very much. I'm an adult now and
I'm going to go deal with the world, deal with
my shit, and take my own responsibility.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And I like it.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
It really it.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Was the slab in the face that I needed. But
I've applied it. I've applied it because it's I'm an adult,
which means that whatever goes wrong now it's on me.
Whatever goes right is on me, and that sent us
some responsibility.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
That's the worst part of adult I hate it.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I mean, it's it's us. But what I found is
it helped me to get out of the place that
so many of us get stuck in for a long
time and getting back to what we spoke about before
and what we see going on in the US and
Europe and everywhere right now. I think a lot of
people would do well to kind of apply that in
(32:53):
one's life and to realize that, yeah, it's easy if
we look even for a second, we can find people
to blame for all kinds of things. But once you
get out of that business. It leads to really positive
placess and so that's the best advice I ever got it.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
It's really great. Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Anka.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Her name is Anika Hernroth Rothstein. She's fantastic. Check out
her book Exile. She's truth and Fiction on Twitter, really
good follow.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Thank you so much for having me on. It's actual pleasure.
Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We have to be aware of bad ideas, and.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
That's why I'm sharing with you that I cringed through
an article in The New York Times reviewing a new
book about polyamory called More So that you don't have
to a.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Rich lady who lives in Parkslope, Brooklyn, which is where
we lived before we moved to Florida, so I can
tell you park Slope is where the worst of ideas
are born. She goes out one night and flirts with
a man in a bar. When she tells her husband
about it, he suggests she's sleep with the man and
tell him about it. They proceed to open their marriage
(00:42):
and have what sounds like the most horrific experiences ever,
and they suggest you do the same. The husband admits
he was not at all discerning about who he slept
with when they first open their marriage, but it doesn't
really sound like the wife was either. At first, she
mostly slept with men who were cheating on their wives.
Great and then she describes people like Carl the German,
(01:05):
who pushes her to have a threesome with him and
his fiance and then never calls her again. Or the
French guy who refuses to wear condoms and likes to
have sex in public bathrooms and she ends up getting
kicked out of a coworking space because you're really not
supposed to have sex in there, and she talks about
a younger guy who is well endowed but can't actually
perform in bed so hot, And then there's the part
(01:28):
about her kids finding out that the parents have opened
their marriage that just made me.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Want to die.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
The truth is that, in general, I'm very free wheeling
about what you want to do with your own life.
Are there people who will be happy with polyamory? I
don't really believe it because it discounts human nature completely.
But if that's what you're into and it works for you,
go on have fun. What bothers me is that marriage,
(01:56):
actual marriage where two people love and support each other
and are actually happy together, really never get the New
York Times treatment. It's all unhappy marriages and unhappy people
stepping out on their spouses and trying to convince the
rest of us that this is the best way. I
get that stories about happy people with functioning relationships and
(02:17):
non cringy sex isn't a story, but we have to
wonder why that is. And something I think about is
that most people still believe that fifty percent of marriages
end in divorce, and it's completely not true. That was
at its peak in the eighties, and I would say
that part of that was cultural and portraying divorces like
this fun, amazing thing you should try. But that number
(02:39):
is actually about a third of marriages today, and that's
genuinely a sharp decline. Part of the reason I started
this show was because of all this negativity around marriage
and our culture, and the constant push of these kinds
of stories that portray marriage as a burden and family
life as something you need to shrug off into order
(03:00):
to be happy. I like having guests on who are
in happy marriages or hoping to get into one. I
like showing that the better path is to find a
real partner, to have a balanced marriage, and to get
to be your actual self and not be scouring cheating
websites to find random men to fulfill something in you
that just won't ever be satisfied. On this show, I
(03:24):
hope to be the antidote to stories like the ones
The New York Times shows you, and I thank you
for listening. Coming up next an interview with Anaka Rothstein.
Join us after the break.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.
My guest today is Anika hernroth Rothstein. Anika is an
election advisor and author, CEO of the ad Agency No
Mad Ghana and just all around badass. Hi, Anika, so
nice to have you.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So nice.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
We're an introduction.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I love it. I added that last bitch.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
No, I'm like, I kind of feel like I need
to update my business cards.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I agree, I definitely like I leave that's not already
on your business card?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Honestly, No, I mean it's so it's your's.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
You're our first international guest obviously, and you're yeah. I
mean it's been all people in America thus far, and
you're a Swedish woman in Ghana.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
How did that happen?
Speaker 4 (04:28):
So?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Oh wow? By accident is in my life? I would say.
The very short, the condensed version is that I had
just gotten back from Venezuela. Was supposed to take a
break because I had like an int as you now,
like an intense time in Venezuela. I get a message.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I remember the Venezuela years.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
That was a lot. So I was like, Oh, I'm
going to chill out, like maybe write my second book
or do something. And then I get a DM on
Twitter from somebody who says want to work on elections
in Africa. I feel like it would be a really
great bit. Saw what you did in Venezuela. If you
can survive that, you can do anything. And because I
(05:10):
have no impulse control whatsoever thing in the city, I
thought to myself, that sounds wild. Let's do that. And
that is now four years ago. Wow, and some change.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah, So do you see yourself staying there?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I don't know. I've learned not to think too hard
on these things because it just tends to not work
out that way. I gave myself five years when I came,
and it ended up like being a good situation for me.
Initially I said five years because five years is as like,
after five years you live lived somewhere. Maybe that's just
(05:51):
my infernal logic, but after five years you're properly sid
at all. And I haven't reached my level of maturity
in life yet where I'm comfortable being properly settled in.
I think I think five years makes sense, Yeah, because
it just felt it felt right. So I'm thinking that
I'm going in six months, I'll take like a mini
(06:15):
break somewhere and think about it and figure some stuff out.
But that's that's the level of planning that I'm at.
I always and so far good kind of.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
So Anaka's book is Exile. It's very you could see,
it's very well worn.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I read it a lot.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
It's portraits of the Jewish diaspora, and it what it
is is.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It traces Jewish communities all.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Around the world in different places that you wouldn't imagine
there are Jewish communities. So what would you say was
your kind of most unique place that you.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Visited and what did you like about it?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Why?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I mean Iran is the thing that stands out, I
suppose because it's it's a Jewish community that a lot
of people think about, have opinions about, used as a
tool for in various debates, whether it's for or against something.
The Persian Jews are and the Jews of Iran are
(07:17):
are used a lot. You know, that's something I found
after the fact, but being there it impacted me. It
made me a much more art and sight and is
I think I mean, I was pretty cooper to courts
a begin Withay, but if you made me understand, like, yeah,
I was sort of to the to the right of
(07:38):
Genghis Khan before that, and then it just moved. But
most of us have never had an experience, been able
to figure out what life is like before Israel or
without Israel. Thank God, we don't know that. But being
in Iran made me understand what my life would be
like as a Jew or not for this date of Israel.
(08:01):
That was the I could walk in their shoes for
a moment, and I mean, of course I could leave,
so it's different. But it made me understand the enormest
freedom that comes with even me in the diaspora, for
me to be a Jew feel free to speak, act
(08:23):
be Jewish, speak out, act out because I know that
I have a light wrap, you know, somebody watching my back. Yeah,
there's always a backup, right, And I was able to
spend two months with people who have no backup. It
humbled me to what they have to do, what they
(08:45):
can't do, what they have to do with, they can't say,
what they have to say, all of those things, which
is why I'm today. I must start seeking the bender
of them and also very sensitive to when people speak
about them. I would say, but it was. And then
of course I was able to go to the tomb
of Estern Mordecai, which was, you know, a tremendously emotional
(09:06):
experience to be in an ancient Jewish community and and
just it felt I mean, everywhere you go where there's Jews,
that's home, you know, to some extent. But it was
it's more with the political aspects of it, the the autrocities,
atrocities that they go through every day. But how do
(09:27):
you shabat mew and Tehran is something that will they
would read forever. It was like, it's it's the amazing experience.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
So you spent a lot of time in Venezuela, and
I think you really quite have an affinity for the
Venezuelan people.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Is that fair to say?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I feel like I've heard some real warmth from you
about them.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
What was that like? What was your How long did
you spend in Venezuela? Excited you were there?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I was there? Yeah, I was there, And.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
I'm not like a long time ago either, like it
was I mean I'm saying and it wasn't like pre revolution.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
It was like right, it was like fury half years ago,
I guess now that I left, or even less. And
I mean, it's it's affinity, it's passion, it's love for them,
and I sirened it salts like home. I guess maybe
that also speaks to my love of chaos from chaos
(10:22):
and noise, you know, So maybe that's between me and
my therapist what went on minutter, But but it just
I it was one of those places. And the same
thing with Iran. I was supposed to be there for
like a week and it turned into two months, which
was ill advised in a lot of ways. The same
thing happened in Venezuela because I was supposed to go
(10:45):
there cover. I came there right after Unguido had announced,
so it's like, I'm going to go there. I'm not
gonna write about it. Maybe go to shool and we're done.
And I stayed a year because I just could not
stop digging at it, because it's one of those places
where you think you get it and then something happens
(11:11):
and then you understand, oh, so it's all shit. I
thought that, you know, I came there. I think I
was I still wanted to believe that there's like a
good and a bad and you know that I there
could be just this unequivocally good side and somebody is
(11:31):
fighting in the freedom and justice thing of it all.
Of course we all love that on the the curve
of that drama is it speaks to it all of us.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Do you want to tell us about that?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Or is that a touch well if it's not touchy,
I mean I was deported, so I was so as
you are right, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I love the first deported, by the way, the first.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Time I was deported, yes, because obviously that was not
the only time.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
ANKA was deported.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
No, it was the signs of two kidnappings, one deportation,
one illegal entry and one warrant for my arrest by
being sabine, which is that's why I ultimately left after
a year, because I was deported and of course you
can't enter again technically, but it's quite easy to smuggle
(12:30):
oneself in through into Venezuela from Colombia. Usually people go out,
as we know, usually bye, I usually me, But I
actually I had the help of a rabbi. I won't
mention his name, but a rabbi helped me right sneak
into Venezuela across the bridge. So I came back. I
(12:54):
got kidnapped again for the second time after having done that.
And then and they found out I was there illegally
and use that as an excuse to issue a warrant
for my arrest the intelligence services, does it be? And
then that even I realized that you don't want to
get disappeared in Venezuela by people who are trained by Cubans. Yeah,
(13:19):
so so.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I got I remember thinking I need anaka to get
out of there, like right now.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
And that's an Yeah, that was there were again, I
knew there were you obviously.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I love that there's that there's this amazing you know,
Jewish Swedish woman who goes to these crazy places and
tells us the stories. But like a lot of people,
I'm sure in your life you you worry me.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You definitely worry me.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, I mean there was there was a time when
during that time, my best friend was a very calm
and collected woman wrote me and said, I would like
you to send me your funeral plans as I assuming
that I'm the one that didn't.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
The foot bull fall.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
And at that point I realized she sounds Russian.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Honestly, yes, she was very light to that is that
I would like to know. I'm assuming you want to
be clone to Israel, so please let me know how
I should go about that. But that was the point
at which when you have to negotiate your exits with
a foreign intelligence service, which was what I was doing.
I hit an abrothel for a few days and negotiated
(14:28):
my way out. The only leverage I had was my
Twitter following and basically putting them on blasts and and
basically they are anti Semitism because they believed that I
was much more connected than I actually am. So that
was because I had been accused of being as always
a Zionist entity, spy, et cetera. You know, the user,
(14:51):
the usual style interloper. Yeah, you know, that's just what
they usually the classic the hits. I'm so so I
use that to my advantage and basically play that side
up dramatically and said, you know, if you do not
allow me like safe passage, you know, the Mussad will
(15:13):
come down on you, which I verish scouted at anybody.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I totally know them, but I totally know no. I
can tweet at method right now.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Actually, let me go so there, so that was it.
That was the end of that year, and a lot
of people, are you really on both sides that right?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I'm sure we're going to take a quick break and
be right back on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
So I don't know if I've told you this before,
but I've been.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
To Venezuela a few times when I was young. Oh,
it's actually our first trip. Well, so you know, I'm
born in Russia. I moved to America. My parents super poor,
but their whole life is as soon as they make
any money is to travel. And our very first international trip,
(16:07):
or I think it might have been our very first
trip anywhere, is to Venezuela. And we get there and
we get to the Caracas Hilton and it is, oh
my god, magical a pool. I don't think I'd ever
swam in a pool until that point. And then we
take like a rickety plane to Canaima National Park, which
is you know, red water and piranhas and and just
(16:31):
the most beautiful thing ever. But for me, I was like,
can we go back to that pool.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
At the Hilton, because that was way better than this
hut that we're sleeping in at night.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
So I have warm, warm memories of Venezuela, and it
was a Russian hot spot. I don't want to say Russian.
I mean ex Soviet Jews who live in New York,
not Russians in Russia. But Venezuela was a big tourist
destination for a long time until until it wasn't. So
I hope that they get back to, you know, being
(17:05):
a country where you can be safe and I can
take my kids on a rickety plain to Kanaima again someday.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Because it is that would be the goal.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
It's the goal. And it's also even now when I
live in Ghana. My favorite place in Ghana is a
region that lives exactly like Venezuela. So it's really what's
the region, the Volta region, So it has the same
you know, the mountain and river and rainforests, and it's
(17:39):
both slow and fast paced at the same time in
a very strange way. There's like an intensity to it,
and it's I mean, I guess there's some irony in
The places that I love the most are places that
that maybe I could get into those countries again, but
I'm not sure how I would be allowed to lead.
So the list of those countries are growing, which.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Is really the most important part.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
I found that it is I've learned through the yess
that that leaving is really essential, or leaving on your
own terms, right is essential. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
So a question that I ask all of my guests
is what do you think is our largest cultural societal
problem in America? But obviously you're not Americans. So what
would you say? Is worldwide the largest cultural or societal problem?
And is it solvable? Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Wow, okay, worldwide? That's a lot of responsibility.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
I mean, I think a country if you want, well,
I hoppy too, you eat it. You know, Sweden's biggest
cultural problem.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Is I'd get care soled if I said yes, yes.
But I mean as a person. You know this, I've
written extensively about it that as a kid, I spent
my summers in Dallas and Texas and it kind of
started my whole love affair with the US. And it
was so drastically different because Sweden and like the nineties
(19:09):
early nineties was a closed country. I mean a lot
of socialism, a lot of like one chance from the TV,
one kind of ketchup that kind of thing, and right,
you're right, And I got to Texas As like an
eight year old, and I was like, whatever this is,
(19:32):
like put it straight into my vein, Like I was the.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Most like I'm converting to American right now.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
It was always amazing thing I've ever experienced.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
And that and also just to have Texas, Yeah, to
have Texas be your first American experience, like the most American,
you know.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yeah, And I kept going back and going back, and
I stayed with my dad's best friend from high school.
My dad went to high school in Dallas. This guy
was it wouldn't happen today, single man in his fifties,
hardcore Republican. We basically watched the news, went to the Alamo,
(20:16):
went to the school, the book depository, and like he
was like taking me through. We watched the OJ trial together.
Like there was a lot of like different wow memory.
But the thing that I fell in love with was
how unapologetic it all was. Right, Like there was clear identity.
(20:38):
I understood what it was like some of it was
loud and strange and a lot, but I unders added
what it was because people understood who they were, which
to me as a Swedish part so big yeah, And
as a European that's like Wow, people are saying like this,
who I am, I'm standing by I had a shirt
that said, don't mess it with Texas. I'm like, okay,
(20:59):
I love that, right, Like I get this, yeah, And
to ject the post that with Europe's dramatic lenning, and
I what I see today because I went through most
of my life assuming that everything else can change. Europe
changes a lot through my adults are growing into an
adult that has changed drastically. But I knew that the
(21:20):
US would always stay the same, I thought. And what
I see now in the US is very reminiscent of
what I've seen in Europe over the past, that's say,
ten to fifteen years, which is lack of identity so interesting,
And it's the thing that has because we've all the
(21:40):
movements you've seen in the US now all this extreme.
Isn't this sad pick in the vitriol, the bizarre identity
politics we lived with that, Like I've lived in this
story already, like I've seen the movie already. Never in
my wildest dreams would I think that this would take
place in the US. But I think it's although the
(22:03):
European lack of identity comes from a different wound in
my opinion, which is the Second World War and sort
of the lessons, the wrong lessons that were taken from that.
They kind of cast off nationalism and national identity and
all of these things. Right, I'm working very hard not
to make this like a Ted Talks of Skip but
(22:24):
what I.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
But I'm like in my head, I'm like, after this,
I'm going to message Onnica and say you have to
write about this, Like, you must write something about this.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
This is such a good point that I really don't
think I've seen made elsewhere.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Well what I saw, go on, please, Yeah, what I
saw is that I'm going to take one thing that
to me when I watched it as a person wise
strong ways to the to the Middle East and to Europe,
as a Jew, all of these things, although I hate
saying as a Jew, so it's.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Just as a Jew, right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
When I saw Obama's Cairo speech, I was like, wait, wait, wait,
this is different. This is like a crack in the veneer.
This is a way of speaking about America and the
world that I don't and I'm not American, but somebody
who is like wholeheartedly adopted America and he has a
(23:18):
love affair with that country. This is not the identity
that I know it to be. It is apologetic. It
is moving away from like, oh, we're not all that.
We don't want to be too involved, we don't want
to be this, we don't want to be that. It's
it was distinct. He was distancing himself, and by such
(23:39):
shame the US from all the things that we desperately
need the US to be. Because it's applicable to draw
like a very very perhap strange conclusion from it me
as it like as a European Jew, I learned very
early often if I become of myself, they're gonna punch
(24:03):
me twice as hard. Nothing good will ever come of
me saying sorry, sorry, sorry, I don't like Israel. I'm
not that Jewish. I'm Jewish. Don't worry about it, right,
your food don't.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, they don't even kill you last at that point anymore, you.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Know, like there are now like like my mom always said,
there are no first class tickets on the trains Auschwitz,
and I understand it's a very hard statement, but it's
also no, it's real. It's what it is. And so
what I loved about the US was like, Okay, sometimes
it's like that guy that we sometimes think is an asshole.
(24:39):
I'm not sure I'm allowed to say that, but way,
you're totally loud to yeah, okay, but we respect him
because he is a monopoly. We know what he's about,
and we also know that like if I'm back into
a corner, this is the guy I'm calling. So yeah,
we aren't your man that entity, and now none of
(25:02):
that exists anymore. So it's like the same thing that
I see in Europe that for fifteen years we've been
in a tail span nobody went past. In Sweden specifically,
somebody asked what is it to be Swedish? They go, well,
I don't know. I'm saying I'm Swedish. It's a compliment.
And if you say somebody you're so UnSwedish, that's a
compliment in Sweden because we have some disdain for ourselves
(25:26):
and that is But yeah, I know you probably wanted
to do you.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
See the pedulum swinging?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
No?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
No, I love this answer.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I think this is like amazing and you definitely should
write about this and I'm going to read it.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
And share it. But do you think the pendulum will swing?
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Because I have to say, there was right before Brexit,
which you know, everybody was like no way, Bregsit's going
to pass, Like the polls were all like absolutely no.
A British lefty friend of mine posted something like what's
the big deal about being British? Like why do we
need to be on our own? Like why can't we
just like join, you know, join stay in the European Union?
(26:05):
Nothing makes us that special? And I swear when he
posted that, I was like, oh, wow, this thing is
going to pass. Like nobody wants to think they're not special,
nobody wants to think there's nothing unique about their culture.
Like I was like, this is passing. That was my moment,
and when it did, I was like, yeah, I mean
this is it. British people want to feel British, and
(26:26):
Swedish people, I think somewhere in there want to feel Swedish.
I think that's just like what's becoming and morble to say.
And every time, every time a right wing party wins
in Europe, it's like, how could this happen?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Well, I can tell you how this happens.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Well, Well, the problem is that in lieu of national identity,
everybody is the main character. Every single thing is the
main character with the goal should always be to have
a strong national identity so that we unite under a
certain Now we're living in a house without walls, you
know this, right, and everything kind of goes right. And
(27:03):
and with national identity comes sense of purpose, unity, religion,
most likely all of these things that are values allive
equal down. And when you take that away, you know,
a vacuum will will will long to fill itself with something.
And it's all these little piecers that come in and
(27:27):
where everybody is the main character. Everybody needs to replace
us because we need that identity and it's been taken
from us in Europe where we gave it out rather
and it's the pendulum swaying. Well, I think that what
I see in Europe is that, yeah, we have fractions,
right like, there are fractions where there's very strong identity
(27:48):
in this corner over here, in that corner over there,
But that's not what we're looking for. I have had
a strong sense of paradise lost for I don't know,
I guess it's twenty years now, Oh God forbid. Because
I grew up in a place that was very, very different.
It wasn't the most exciting place, but I knew what
(28:10):
it was, and that I don't think I in my
lifetime I will ever see again.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
We haven't talked about it, but you have these two
beautiful teenage sons, and you lived this exciting, amazing life.
You're you know, CEO of a company and you're just awesome.
Do you feel like you've made it?
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I don't think it's in the Jewish nature to ever
feel you've made it. I feel like I hover around
seventy five percent on a good day, like that's a
really good day. On a bad day, I'm like thirty
four perhaps so, and I don't expect that to ever change.
Like I recognize that there are some aspects of my life.
(28:50):
I have moments when I think, wow, this is crazy,
this is amazing. But it's like, you know, you know,
like Jewish parents when you come home and you have
like straight a's and then one being jam or in
my case, an amping jam. Then the fun the focus
in the gym like nobody.
Speaker 5 (29:11):
That's I am that Jewish parent that we flacted. The
joke in my house is like an a why not?
Like you know it's it a hundred why not one
hundred and five?
Speaker 3 (29:22):
You know it works? You know it's like my dad
every on every birthday I've ever had, Like that used
to be the running joke that his only question, like
no happy birthday, was always it's just the year you're
getting a PhD. And because it's like embarrassing to be
the person without a PhD, so come on, get some shanza.
(29:45):
So so I think that it's kind of in one's
nature to not feel like because I don't expect in
my life like to ever feel like, Oh I made it,
I'm cool, now I'm good. So but if I can
maintain a seventy five percent where I like that that's
the average, I'd be very pleased with that.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So end here with your best tip for my listeners
on how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Well, so the tip is as well, I thought about
this and I was like, oh, I have to be
like really profound, and then I thought, no, I have
to be like no, it's a lot of pressure. But
then I remember, So it's actually I'm the youngest of
three girls and my oldest sister gave me the best
(30:31):
advice I ever got and it changed my entire life.
And I was about twenty one twenty two. I was
in my very like naval gazing face that lasted about ten.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Years among us.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Right, yeah, it was a little, but it was also
like I was in the catch space where it was
a lot like Dad did this and mom did this
and won't me, and like I was really like heavy
into therapy and heavy into myself and heavy into what
everybody else owed me. And I guess she got sick
of it when they had coddled me for a long time,
(31:05):
because again, I'm the baby, so I expected that. And
then she kind of, yeah, she had a nap, and
she said, I'd like you to make a list of
the five best qualities in yourself, the fine things about
yourself that you're the most proud of, and I need this.
I really thought about it, because again I loved thinking
and talking about myself. So I was happy to get
(31:26):
this assignment because that was like pretty much my all
getting that. And I was like, oh, you know it, independence,
I'm intelligent, I'm a survivor, like all of these things,
and just said okay, and now i'd like you to
tell me how many of these are because you had
a happy childhood. And it shut me.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
It shut me.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Yeah, I'm going to use that A happy childhood it
really does, right, you know, lead to a lot of
other good things.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
So she looked at me, she was like, yes, so
things were kind of shit. Okay, dig where you stand,
say thank you very much. I'm an adult now and
I'm going to go deal with the world, deal with
my shit, and take my own responsibility.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And I like it.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
It really it.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Was the slab in the face that I needed. But
I've applied it. I've applied it because it's I'm an adult,
which means that whatever goes wrong now it's on me.
Whatever goes right is on me, and that sent us
some responsibility.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
That's the worst part of adult I hate it.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I mean, it's it's us. But what I found is
it helped me to get out of the place that
so many of us get stuck in for a long
time and getting back to what we spoke about before
and what we see going on in the US and
Europe and everywhere right now. I think a lot of
people would do well to kind of apply that in
(32:53):
one's life and to realize that, yeah, it's easy if
we look even for a second, we can find people
to blame for all kinds of things. But once you
get out of that business. It leads to really positive
placess and so that's the best advice I ever got it.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
It's really great. Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Anka.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Her name is Anika Hernroth Rothstein. She's fantastic. Check out
her book Exile. She's truth and Fiction on Twitter, really
good follow.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Thank you so much for having me on. It's actual pleasure.
Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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