#328 One Dot Left w/ Brian Frange

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am
welcome to the show. It's a Nicki Glezer podcast. It's
Wednesday edition. Um in not in the studio with me remotely,

(00:21):
but it feels like they're here. Um. We've got Anya
in New York. How about uh? And we got Noah
in Arizona, which is also a city. Thank you, Brian. Yeah,
did you look at into it? I did. It's like
like on the side of a highway or something. Oh,
one of the like the ones that just has like

(00:41):
a restop or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly, like a population
of five. Right. And then Brian Frangie is visiting us
again from Los Angeles. Welcome back to the show, Brian.
Have you ever heard Yeah, I'm obsessed with them. Okay,
wait I don't have them, but I want them so bad.
Wait shoes, Wait, there's shoes right? No, no, no. Zizix

(01:04):
is a a roadside town. If you're driving everywhere, lay wa, Zizix.
It's a it's if you're driving from La to I
think Las Vegas. I think it's in between LA and
Las Vegas. You'll see I hate green sign for a
town called Zizzix. It's in the middle of nowhere, and

(01:25):
it's spelled I might get this wrong, but it spelled
zy x x y x x or something. Yes, I
remember that does One time I sat on my keyboard
and I came out a cat walked across a keyboard,
and that's how they got that town. Okay, okay, Zizzix. Well,
how do they name that town? That's what I thought
when I was Okay, did you as you were driving?

(01:48):
I googled it? Well, no, I asked. I asked my
fiance or wife or whatever to google it, and uh,
we discovered that that the person who names Zizzix had
a vendetta against the government and decided to name the
town Zizix just to mess with the people who have
to write that into the register. Oh man, good job, dude.

(02:13):
That would be That would be a fun break in
my day if I was just writing down towns all
day and then I'm like, what is this one? And
that would actually wake me up. I think that's a
good thing to do. Z why x x yeah why
x zz top zz y z x zz y zz

(02:35):
x z y z x. It was formerly non Annesota
Springs and the guy invented this like retreats where you
could go there and like, you know, discover yourself and
become healthy. And then it's turned out to be like
a scam, and so then the government came after him
and then eventually to get a vendetta against them that
he named it zizix Oh man, he showed them that's

(02:59):
a creative angry man an ya. That sounds like a
documentary you would want to watch about soda springs and
whatever cult self help. Yeah, I haven't seen Wild Wild Country,
but I hear that's you would love it. It's so
well done. That's the next document that everyone was in
two years ago that I need to get into and
I'll be obsessed with it for a week and no

(03:19):
one will want to talk to me about it because
they're like, yeah, well we all talked about this already.
So when used to have have a stand up joke like
that of like, do you ever see a movie that
everyone's already seen and you're like, he can't stop talking
about Like I'll get that way with like a few
good men, I'm like, have you guys seen this kind
of like you with Succession? It's cool. I like it
because you're making me rewatch it. Like I'll get back

(03:41):
into wild wild country. Oh my god, I've I've talked
to so many people about Succession that I've actually yesterday
I saw my boyfriend's brother, Tim Convey, Brian Frandi's former roommate,
and I asked him. I was like, have you are
you into Succession? He goes, you already asked me this.
I'm like, I've already already like no, and I'm like,
damn it. He's like, I know, I got a be
and I like, so I'm already like making the rounds

(04:03):
through everyone. Um yeah, it's starting a new season as
this Sunday. It's very exciting. Um so. But the funny
thing about you asked me about Zizzix is that I
literally have an app or like a note on my
phone of like podcast topics, right, and one of them
is the shoes. I think I broke in Zizzis. I
think I may have erased it, But for a while

(04:24):
I had written on here Zizzix because I'm obsessed with
these shoes that keep getting marketed to me on Instagram
where you don't have to tie them their gym shoes,
but you just slip your feet into them. Have you
seen these no they're so cute. Zizzix. I think it's zi. Yeah,
I don't. Someone was trying to fuck with the people

(04:45):
that would have to. Yeah, there was another vendetta. Um,
but they're kiss kiss sorry kissicks. Is that ki s
I K s or something like that. But you don't
have to tie them, and it's just all that. The
Instagram videos are always like women holding babies and like
just being like we've got too much going on, and
they just slip their foot into it and it's like
a dream. And that's why I keep all of my

(05:07):
shoes untied, so that I can just slip like mine
are all very All my shoes are loose, because I
like them to all be like loafers that I can
just put my foot into. But I'm I've been craving
some kissics. I don't know why I haven't bought them yet,
but I want to. I wonder if any of our
besties have them and can report how great they are,
because tying your shoes is annoying and and a lot

(05:30):
of times I'll jam my foot into a shoe and
then the tongue just gets all like fucking crumpled up,
and then I'll just wear it like that because I'm
too lazy even bend over and pull that tongue out.
So kiszics are really my speed. Um. A couple of
other things I've written down because I have this note
up is that um pump And I want to just
talk about what pump is because it's a word that

(05:51):
everyone needs to know. So you've a dog, Brian, right,
what's your dog's name again? Jaldie Jack? Okay? Um, So
Jack is such a cute little dog, and I bet
it could have a pump. And I know that your
dog Willa can have a pump. I even think cats
can have pumps. So a pulp is something on an animal,
most likely a canine animal, where it's um upper lip

(06:14):
gets kind of like, uh, it's maybe when it has
dry teeth and it's upper lip gets kind of like
stuck and yeah, yeah, it gets stuck on the almost
the like the gum line because it's so dry, and
it pumps up, so it like it makes the fur
like kind of raise up, and it kind of just

(06:34):
looks makes it look a little stupid, but it also
looks like, oh, it's got a pump. Like dogs get
up all the time. Do you ever do you know
what I'm talking about, Brian. Where has your dog ever
gotten a pump? I mean, I'm gonna definitely look out
for it, but you can't say you can force it.
You just dry off their teeth and then you raise
up their lip and have it get stuck, and it'll
just be like, oh, little pump. It's so because they

(06:58):
look so cute. Yeah, Elvis for a dog. Elvis had
a poem. Um Matt and I spent seven minutes once
trying to get will it to have a poem? Just
dead seed? Yeah. We just like kept talking and she
was like, whatten that the Lord's name is going on?
We were just it's just light abuse. It's just a
little tickle of abuse. Um uh. Speaking of animals. Yesterday,

(07:22):
I was in a funk. I was just woke up
on the wrong side of my uterus and I was
just hormonally imbalanced, in such a bad mood. I went
to my voice lesson, which I go to twice a week,
and I literally drove a I have to drive a
half hour out there, um and I just went and
we did not sing at all. I just was like,
I'm depressed, and then he like talked to me about

(07:44):
the whole time, Like it's like therapy. I really I
feel bad for this guy because he's become like my
therapist and he's like, this is happening to you way
too often. I'm like, I know. He's like, do you
see someone. I'm like yes, and like it was just
a bad day, you know, one of those days. Thank
god I didn't have to plod. Yes, my Volke coach you. Yeah,

(08:05):
shout out to Michael Rokio. But I just did actually
an interview for STL magazine that's going to come out
in like June. But my buddy Nick, who is a
journalist there and now we're friends through this process. He's
like followed me around. He was at our show an
ya Um in Saint Louis. Remember the guy that was
interviewing me in backstage? Oh yeah, we kept yeah, I'd

(08:27):
be like, okay, I have to like, you know, try
on a different bras so you need to leave again,
And then he didn't come back in. He's a nice guy,
but we were just we just met up at eight
o'clock at Starbucks around the corner to uh extend to
talk more about follow up two months later for this
interview they're doing like an in depth thing. It's going
to be like a big, big thing. But um, he
was talking to me about stuff and I was like,

(08:48):
and I see this voice teacher, and all I do
is like, it's like therapy. And he goes and I go,
he's all the way out in Chesterville and he goes,
is it Michael Rochio? And I was like, wait what
He was like, I see Michael Rokio. I was like,
Oh my god. And I was so excited to talk
to someone else that knows this amazing man who has
helped me so much. Singing wise, not so much, but

(09:10):
I've learned a lot of life's lessons and stories. No
singing wise, he's given me a lot of confidence, which,
if you learned anything from the podcast yesterday, based on
my experience at the Mark Twain Prize for Adam Sandler,
confidence is kind of all you need and the belief
that hard work makes it begets talent if you know that,
if you know that you can do anything, you just

(09:31):
have to work hard. That's all you need and you
can be successful. But anyway, so I was meeting up
with him, Oh yeah, I was really down yesterday and
I just couldn't get out of it all day, and
I tried so many things. I went for a run,
I went took a walk. I I just I took.

(09:51):
I took a three hour nap in the middle of
the day, even though I didn't need it. Things that
were both not helpful and helpful. I was just. I
shared a lot on our Girls Chat of like really
dark stuff. I went to that voice listen. I tried
to get out and do stuff wasn't going away. And
then I saw some story of this burn victim. I
love burn victims. I don't know if you guys know this.

(10:12):
I yesterday Michael Roko by the way, I was like,
what do you like, Like, what are things that bring
you joy? And I go Taylor Swift and he goes, okay,
other than that, I go documentary is about plane crashes.
He was like, I saw that one was very good.
I was like, um, books about Columbine, and I'm like,
I don't know. I'm just into weird stuff. I wish
I liked things that other girls like, like Linen's, but
I can't. And then and then my friends were like,

(10:35):
why do you want to like Linen's And I said, Okay,
here's why I want to like linen's. When like a
girl likes a linen and a threadcount likes to like
feel linen. It's not that I want to like linen's.
If you are able to find joy out of like
a nice piece of like fabric and just like you know,
touch it and go like this is so beautiful and

(10:55):
look at the fringe around it and go like I
love this tablecloth or whatever the fuck it is, that
means your life is pretty good. That means that like
things you have a lot of space for, and you
are present and you're able to somatically take in the
world and feel it on like a molecular level, like
you can it. Just that's not that I want to

(11:16):
like linens. I want to be able to stop and
smell the roses and touch the linens. So it's more
about that. So I was telling him that I liked
all these dark things and I want to add it
to the list burn victims. I like burn victims. I
like reading about them, I like watching them on my
Instagram because my biggest fear is losing my looks, you know, gradually,

(11:38):
which we I think most women in the Western world,
in most Eastern worlds as well, are worried about aging
and men as well. I'll throw you guys into this too.
We're all worried about aging. Makes us feel less relevant,
makes us feel like we're closer to death. People don't
want to fuck us, people aren't nice as nice to us.
It's just like the world gets kind of small dollar

(12:00):
and you were all trying to grasp onto it because
we're constantly filled with images of like fighting wrinkles and
fighting aging, age defying serums, like everything is age defying.
Burn victims instantly go from being hot too unfuckable and
not unfuckable in the sense that they can't still be
loved and people can't have sex with them and be

(12:21):
attracted them. Of course they can. But you go from
being really good looking and a normal person to being
someone that like makes people gasp sometimes when they see you,
because your face is definitely disfigured. There's no doubt about it.
That's not mean baking a judgment on the person. It's
just true, and that's fascinating to me. Does that not

(12:41):
spark your guys's interest at all to see people who
have been horribly disfigured or has had something like catastrophic
happened to them, and yet they still are like talking
about their day like they or they just share how
they go about their normal day. Does that interest you
guys at all? I can understand how you'd be inspired
by their, you know, ability to move on and try

(13:01):
to live life to the fullest despite their disfigurement. Yes,
it's there in my town where I live. And he
has elephant titus of his face. So he has like
a completely disfigured face and like a lot of flesh
hanging off his face, like yes, if a whole nother head. Yeah,

(13:22):
and it's very It's like if you didn't know, you'd
be like, like, he looks like he's wearing the scariest
mask ever. Yeah, And he's very popular in town. He's
very kind, Like I walk by him a lot. He's
always nice. Um, everybody knows him. And the other day
he was on the corner yesterday, I was walking Willa
and he just goes, what a beautiful creature, what a

(13:44):
beautiful dog. I was like, thank you, And I was
just thinking, that's an interesting comment from a man with
an elephantit. Yeah, did they have to call it elephant titus?
I feel like it was either that or zizzis. Honestly,
it's you're so right, Brian, Like they're already like they

(14:09):
couldn't come up with anything. It's like Seinfeld's joke about rhinoplastics,
Like that's come up with it. You got to compare
these or some people who already feel and secure about
their giant nose rhinoplastic. Maybe oh it's called elephantiasis. Maybe
it's outdated. Maybe it's like no, yeah, you don't say it. Yeah,

(14:30):
I'm looking at pictures online. No, it's it's interesting to
me because I like watching less about inspiration. Well, yeah,
I think it's that because I go, man, I wake
up some days and my face feels a little bit
like swollen or I you know, I've talked about it
extensively on here, just fearing facial changes, you know that

(14:52):
we all do. That's why I get botox, I get filler,
I do all these things trying to fight it. And
then you see someone who went from being a really
attractive woman to overnight looking in a way that makes
people makes kids go like, mommy, what's wrong with her?
I mean that is like to live through that and
it is inspiring, but like it just it's fascinating to me.

(15:13):
It's just in the same way that I'm in. I
don't know what it is. But anyway, so last night
I was trying I Michael Rocchio kept like prodding at me,
being like, what are you into? Like stop do this
whole thing. I didn't want to start crying, so I
didn't really want to talk about my feeling so I
was kind of being obstinate, like of just is that
a word of being like all I like is plane crashes.

(15:35):
I'm a dumb person, I'm dark like. I was just
kind of just being like, I don't want to talk
about my feelings. I don't want to get at the
root of this. And because I didn't want to cry,
because his wife is like in the next room, and
I didn't want to hurt like hear me crying. She's
a singer as well, she would have been like, well,
this girl just waste our time. And so I was
just trying to not cry. And then finally I was like,
you know what, animals, I really like animals. That is

(15:57):
something that interests me and I love So last night
I also saw this burn victim that this Australian runner
girl who was doing a long run and she got
caught in a brushfire and completely burned her whole face.
I don't remember her name, but she's very, very famous
in Australia and so inspiring. And she was talking about
how she doesn't start her morning by just like jumping

(16:17):
on her phone and there's a lot of things like
this online and this has nothing to do with her
being a burn victim. It was just a part of
what I was saying. But she's just talking about, like
I just get a book, I go out, and I like,
I don't go on my phone right away. I just
try to like surround myself with things that make me
feel good in the morning because that all is coming later.
Why do I just have to do it right away
and have it hijack my day? But last night I

(16:37):
kind of employed that. I was like, get off my phone,
what can I watch? I was thinking, maybe I'll watch
The Bachelor with Anya because she was watching that and
I do like Anya and I like to watch things
together and text each other during it. We watched the
show Perfect Match on Netflix that is truly one of
the most garbage reality shows I've ever seen. And I'm
the host of Fboey Island. I can tell you like,

(16:58):
I've hosted shows that have crazy premises that don't really
make sense and you know, are just loose and just funny,
and this one is also one of those. But it's
not good and I don't like it. But I was
almost going to put that on or something, and then
I was like, I should watch something with animals in it.
And usually animal stuff is so sad, but there's this
really great documentary that just won an Academy Award on

(17:21):
Netflix called The Elephant Whisperer, and it made me feel
so fucking good to see these Indian people caring for
these baby elephants in the story of how these elephants
get abandoned is sad, but it's really heartwarming. It's only
forty minutes long, and I swear to God, it makes
you feel so good about yourself and about the world
and it makes you cry, and it's like it just

(17:42):
was like the best thing for my soul. So I
just have to remember to maybe put on more animal
like documentary things, but not there's not enough of them.
There's not enough happy animal documentaries. No, they're all sad
because there's always like they're they'll walk you through the
mating rituals and like the babies are born and then

(18:04):
the fires come and then there's like they show babies
just be like like looking for their mom, and then
I'm like, fuck, I can't deal because guess what, there's
no good climate news. You're not gonna watch any documentary
that's really telling you how it is, and you're gonna
be uplifted. It's all grim the world is. It's too
late by twenty thirty to say to change anything. I

(18:26):
don't know if you've heard that report yesterday. Well we'll
talk about this and more after we get back from
the break. So did you guys hear though that by
twenty thirty, Um, it's over, Like that's the that's the date. Yeah,
what's the official statement that if we don't do massive
make massive changes right now by twenty thirty, it's too

(18:47):
late and that's it. But they I feel like we've
been hearing this a while and that's why no one
gives a fuck anymore when it's really being said, Brian,
remember yea or do you remember who watch k when
like the machines were supposed to turn against us? Yes,
but this is based on a reel like atmosphere and

(19:09):
like the polar ice caps melting faster. Like there's literally
never any good news about the climate. There's never of like,
it's not melting as fast as we thought it was.
Oh this, you know, the droughts are actually not as
bad as we thought they would be. It's always way worse.
So I'm with Noah on this one. I think climate
change is like Y two K. I think when twenty

(19:32):
thirty comes, we're all gonna be waiting for the bomb
to drop and nothing's going to happen, and we're like,
why did we save water at all? Do you think
that we'll have like compounds or live slightly differently, or
like have SPF seventy eight, or like, how are we
gonna I don't think most places would be able to
go outside by twenty fifty. You're not going to be

(19:52):
able to go outside and in a lot of the
planet anymore, just or you can, you'll have to like
run really quick between buildings because it's just gonna be
too hot. I mean, it's already too hot in summers
for things to happen. They had to have the World
Cup in the winter. You know, we are adaptable. Maybe

(20:13):
we'll just spend most of our days indoors with sun
that looks like Kirsten, Yeah, that's what will happen. Yeah,
our friend Kurston is always in the morning. She's like, hi, guys,
on the girl's check, just um making salt meal and
just hanging out in front of my sun lamp. What
does she call it? It's like she was does the
brand name from twenty four Yeah? Yeah, I think that. Well.

(20:35):
I don't think we're all going to perish on January first,
twenty thirty, but that is the date where it's worked.
Don't even try anymore. It's irreversible. Yeah, there's no turning exactness.
I feel like there's a lot of that catastrophizing that
comes out too frequently, Like you're saying, like it's every
couple of months there's like, Okay, we've now passed this
threshold where there's no turning back, and then two months

(20:57):
later like and now we've really passed the threshold. And yes,
it's like how many thresholds are there? Maybe we should
just send a child events a recycling center that like
makes all of this, you know, old wine bottles into
canoes or something. I don't know. There's always there is
always something like there's a new bug that eats plastic
bottles and you're like, oh, this bug will save us,

(21:20):
or like there, I do believe that there is technology
out there that will bail us out in little ways,
but it's just gonna make it so we can all
we're not going to be able to like live once
the damage is done. Like if you I don't know,
like you can if you if you pour ink on
a carpet, you can like sop it up, but you're

(21:41):
never gonna get that stain out. It's done, Like you
can't go back. So like, yeah, there'll be things that
we can do to make it look like a little
bit more livable, but you know, if we don't figure
this out, there's it's not going to be the planet
won't be that inhabitable. Did you guys know that Mars
is like millions of miles away? The other day I
saw a picture of Earth from Mars and it said

(22:03):
it was like, no, will you look up how far
Mars is? Because we've landed on Mars with a rover. Correct,
how the fuck did anything travel millions of miles? One
hundred million miles or something? It's like one hundred twenty
six million miles, maybe a one hundred and twenty seven
point two three million miles? How did I mean? That's
pretty impressive? How Nikki that is? So I was off

(22:25):
by a million point two? How many? That is? So
long to travel? Did we send that thing off in
eighteen twenty two and then it finally landed like this year?
How did we get a rope that blew my mind?
I would have guessed thousands of miles? One hundreds of
millions of miles? Does that blow your Maris's mind at all?
It's too large of a number to comprehend, right, which

(22:48):
is very long? Yeah? So you know that a million
seconds a million seconds is something like twelve days, and
a billion seconds is thirty seven years. You know that difference,
isn't there? Envy for women who like Linen's is equal
to my envy for you remembering these numbers. Well, I'm
probably off by that, but I know I committed that

(23:11):
one to memory like you would lyrics to a song
that you wanted to sing. I'm not kidding you, because
that was one where I go, I never remember this one.
It's so interesting, So I worked hard to remember that,
and I don't know that I did. That is so cool.
What is nine times seven? Oh? God, that one's I
think it's I think it's um. If I'm gonna go

(23:31):
off the dome, I'm gonna say it's sixty three, but
I always think it's fifty six. Okay, tell me the
thing I want to know again? It was all fucked up?
What um you would memorize it? Okay? Yeah? A million
seconds is twelve days. I think it's something like that.
It's eleven days, eleven days, Okay. Ready, A million seconds
is eleven days, right. A billion seconds is thirty seven years.

(23:57):
I believe what could be thirty two? Those two numbers
are swirling in my head. So that's the difference when
someone says they have a billion dollars, just it's not
even close to a million. That's a difference between an
eleven year, eleven day old baby and a thirty seven
year old man. That is the difference. So it's like,
there's no don't even think that you ever make a

(24:18):
billion dollars. Sorry, one million seconds is eleven days, okay,
A billion seconds is thirty seven years, thirty two years
or thirty that is. That's a fascinating little factoid, right.
It does put it in comparison. You know how you
have that or you've seen that calendar with the how

(24:38):
many weeks you have that calendar? Get it. Don't even
bring it up. That fucking thing bugs the shit out
of me. If you two guys nobody's talking about it,
tells me how much of life? No it is, Oh,
it is eight it is. Ah, it's a poster of dots, right, Brian,
you've showed us to me. Yeah, it's see this. This

(25:00):
is on my list of things that I like, climate change, disaster,
burn victims, and how many weeks you have to live.
It is a plot, a graph almost of like dots
just across, you know, and then it's probably like twelve
across and then fifty down and then it's all filled
in so it's like a dot forever. Oh no, it's

(25:21):
fifty two across fifty down right, So it's almost like
a square fifty two meeting each week of a year,
fifty meeting, Like you're probably fifty years to live if
you're like or whatever. It is. No, no, no, sorry,
let's say we all live to be eighty. So it's
eighty on one axis, fifty two on the other right,
So that shows a dot for every week of your life,

(25:42):
and then it says like, if you're thirty something, this
is how many dots you are, this is on the dot,
and you can go week by week and you just
see how many dots you have left and it ain't
a lot, and it's like, I can't believe those are weeks.
Those aren't years. Those are fucking weeks. And it is
depressing because you look at the scope of your life
and you're like, it comes down to these dots and

(26:03):
I'm so many dots in That reminds me. I was
watching Bobby Kelly on some interview and he was saying,
how like something that really put life in perspective for
him was he thought how many summers he had left,
and like the number was dwindling. It's like, I only
have many more summers left. Yeah, no, it's sad. Yeah,
I have one of those posters, except it's one dot

(26:25):
is a billion seconds, so it's only two dots and
the first dots built in one dot left. Oh my god,
you only have a billion seconds of life sixty four
years later. Oh that's weird to think that you have
like a billion seconds left to live now and now
it's less than a billion because we've just started into it.

(26:45):
Oh my god, Yeah, it's um and you don't even
you're not even guaranteed that you know, No, that's just
everything could happen. That's why I hate stuff like that.
That's why I hate whenever someone posts on like when
some tragedy happens, and then someone always guaranteed when there's
something horrifically tragic that and someone will always comment like
that just goes to show you that life is precious

(27:06):
and every day county and never know how much time
you have left. And it's like that's not a good
way to think. Like if you go through life thinking
like this might be my last moment on earth, I
have to make the most of it, you'll go into
a squirrels always you're like making phone calls to people
you don't really want to make. You're like, I'll call
my mom. Fine, yeah, but I know. I think it

(27:28):
is a good reminder to be like, what would I
do today if this was I mean, I don't think
we really need to run through that because people are
like if this was the last of your life, it
would you do? I'd be like cry the whole day,
like just be so sad. So yeah, I mean, but
it does. I gotta believe there's something else, because this,
this can't be it. You can't just say goodbye forever

(27:49):
to think it's just too it's too much. I can't
handle it. I can't. I can't. I got from mushrooms.
The one time I did mushrooms in my life and
tripped balls, I left my body. I went up into
the stratosphere or what's past the atmosphere? You guys who
have traveled a billion side. Yeah, but I just knew, Oh,

(28:14):
I will exist after I die, because whatever I am
now is not in the body of Anya. It is
some it's like consciousness, but it's me with you. Do
you really believe that? Yeah, I really believe that. Like,
so you recommend tripping mushrooms because this is what people
always say after they do mushrooms, is like they are
okay with They're a little bit more okay with death. Yeah,

(28:35):
I know, who never needs to do mushrooms again. Like,
it was a terrifying night. I didn't have a great time,
but the gift of that experience is invaluable, and I'm
so glad I did it because I do not believe
that when you die you're just done and like your
life gets snuffed out. And this is just like every
other person who talks about this experience. You can't make

(28:56):
me understand what you know now. There's nothing you can
say that will adequately make me get it without having
that experience, Like talking to people who've done ayahuasca, mushrooms, LSD.
You just it's just doesn't there's no way to communicate it.
It sucks. Have you done that stuff? Brian No, No,
I have not, And I do envy that feeling very

(29:18):
much so. And it's the same way I view about
really religious people, where it's like I envy you because
you have this whole layer of anxiety that's been lifted
because you have faith that there's something else after and
that there's all a purpose and a plan. And I'm
living in this universe that it's just random chaos, and
I feel like when it's over, it's over, and it's

(29:39):
that's a horrible place to be. You gotta watch Tyler
Henry on Netflix, this kid who talks to ghosts that
made me believe that there's something else right right, I'm
not kidding. Can take his word for it like you
can take my word for it. About mushrooms. Can't you
watch Tyler Henry and that convinced you. And if I'm
telling I want to feel it though, I want to

(30:00):
have it in my bones, and I already do kind of,
I just want to. There's other things you get from
mushrooms too, that are like you get more okay with eight,
You just get it more okay with everything, Like there's
they're just so healing, but there is that aspect of
where you could have a really bad trip and it's terrifying.
Like Neil Brennan after he did DMT, the like drug
that you know comes out of your brain when you die,

(30:23):
and you could you know he did that, and he
said that you couldn't pay him a billion dollars, That's
what he said. And he's someone that's motivated my money
for sure. He was like, I wouldn't do it again
for a billion dollars. It was the most horrifying. He
was like, horrifying. Isn't even a fucking fraction of the
of what I felt. But I will never suffer with
depression again because I did it. He was like, I'm
cured because I did this, But what I recommended, God

(30:45):
fucking no. It was the worst thing of my life.
It was. It was I wouldn't recommend to anyone, but
I'm healed now. I'll never suffer with depression again. He said.
Then there's this hat that he's worn his whole life,
and the hat came off. He couldn't describe what happened.
He couldn't describe. There was noe. He just said that.
I remember him saying that terrifying. It was a fraction
of the feeling he felt. It was. It was like

(31:07):
nothing he could describe. He couldn't describe it, much like
what you're saying, like I can't grasp really what happened
to you. But he said that he would not recommend it,
and that he wouldn't do it again for a billion dollars.
I mean, I know people who've taken DMT and it
changed them. Yes, Like he became totally a different person
after that, And it was it was I don't not

(31:28):
necessarily for the better, but like a I don't know,
for the like it changed them in a way that
they became less motivated, they were a little slower. I
know a few people who yeah, like they did DMT
and like all of a sudden they were like did
they lacked the motivation to continue their pall because so
much of motivation is I don't want to die, I

(31:49):
gotta make a legacy. I want money. I like things.
I want validation. I want money that will get me
validation and love. And so when you realize that none
of that actually mattered or whatever they maybe learned, some
of that decreases and you and maybe they are happier
not having as much motivation. You know, I think they are.

(32:09):
I think they are. They are happier, They're more content
with where they are. But then in reality, they don't
have any money anymore. They don't, Yeah, but they're very happier. No,
I wouldn't like the Neil thing, like I don't want
to no matter what is on the other side of that.
I don't want to give up anything that sounds scary.
I will not do even if it means freedom on

(32:31):
the other side of it. I you know, I'll do
a DMT when I die, thank you very much. Like
it will be omitted naturally in that process. But that's
not I don't want to do it anytime sooner. But
I think mushrooms and LSD even though those I've heard
I've been described as terrifying. I think those are roller
coasters that I'm willing to go on because I don't
do you this is DMT specifically that you've seen people

(32:52):
lose motivation, and I'm guessing you're talking about one case
study as opposed to multiple, right, Brian, I'm a few.
I actually have a few. I've talked to a few
people who have experienced this. Okay, wow, well that's the
one I won't touch after what Neil told me. But
the other ones I don't know. Maybe some besties have
experiences with DMT that you can share. But yeah, this

(33:14):
elephant documentary really lifted me out of it and there's
a part of me that wants to go. So they
have to call them elephants. It's just such a high row.
It's so rude, but these little baby elephants are so
cute and they are just so human and they are
just so sweet, and it was just sweet to see
these like Indian people speaking this language that I do
not know and would never know. And then the subtitle

(33:36):
is You're a good boy, aren't you? Are you the
best boy? Are you the best boy? Like talking to
the elephants the same way that we talked to are dogs.
It was just so sweet. I'd screenshot at it, but
it was like, you're the best little boy there ever
was in this whole little village. Like they just talked
to them sweetly. It's just it's so freaking sweet. So

(33:56):
that's just more a proof that we're all the same. Yeah, yeah,
that reminds me of there was some study that a
psychologist did with like a tribe in New Guinea or
somewhere very remote, and they were like the stuff the
women and the men were complaining about was like when
they had a translator figure out, like what is the
thing that troubles you the most? And they were like, well,

(34:20):
he's I think he has a crush on her and
I feel left out. And it was like all this
same petty shit, or not petty, but like the same
shit that we all struggle with everywhere else in the
Western world. And he doesn't get the trash enough and
separate the recycling from the river that we drink from.
He doesn't. Yeah, it's that is interesting, Like we all

(34:45):
do have, like even animals have jealousy, which I used
to tell my parents because they'd be like, we gotta
give Luigi treat if we gave Wiley one. I'm like,
Wiley's two hundred pounds. Luigi does not get the same treat.
He's gonna get fat. And they were like, well, he's jealous,
and I'm like, animals don't have jealousy. Then every time
I've eaten my words for ten years now or since
I said that, every time the dogs like get jealous

(35:06):
of each other, they go and the animost don't know
if Josie Niki and I'm like, okay, they do. I
get it. I'm sorry, but they've heard about the study
about plants where no one which plants. The study about plants,
the one where um, they were testing whether or not
plants could feel emotions. And so they they took like

(35:30):
I think it was like cabbage plants or something, and
they would take a they would attach electrode. I don't
know the science, but they're attached electrodes to the plant
to see whether or not it did register. And they
would take a cabbage plant and they would cut up
a cabbage plant in front of the other cabbage and
the cabbage the living cabbage plant would respond right to
the cabbage plant being chopped up in front, and they

(35:51):
were able to connect it to a device that would
that would take those electrodes and turn them into noises,
so then you would hear hear the screen, Yes, you
would hear it. Oh god damn it. Yeah. Well this
is always what people say to vegans, like, well, plant
of feelings, and it's like, okay, well you know what,
now I'm going to struggle to eat plants. Did you

(36:13):
want like us? It doesn't change the way I feel.
It's still now I'm going to eat plants and feel
bad about it, but I have to fucking eat so um.
Yeah that sucks to hear. But um, that's why you
just don't hook your you don't need You don't hook
your cabbage up to Yeah, you don't listen to your
say never hook ellectrodes up to your fu. Yeah. At

(36:36):
the same time, though, the positive takeaway is that if
you have plants and you like talk to them, oh,
then you grow better. They grow better. That's yeah, that's
that's because of the oxygen, I think. But like they do.
There's a world where your plants are listening to you,
and they can hear what you're saying, and they react
to your emotions. There's a world and everything's listening to

(36:57):
us and say even up on the plants. Um, yeah,
I do the other day I realized I hadn't fed
my plants in a while, watered them, and I was
like so sad, and I was like, I'm sorry, and
I'm picking up like some of the dead leaves because
it had been like anymore. And I was like, I
am so sorry. Plant. I just felt so bad and
I was like, oh no, I'm like, am tremorpathizing whatever

(37:21):
that word is where you like make a thing that
doesn't have human emotions have it? Um wait Briant twice again? No, oh,
I can't any sheds. Yeah the cabbage please, don't to me.

(37:41):
That's a cabbage. They're from like not my mom. Yeah,
oh my god, Um, Brian, you had a bachelor party
this weekend? Is that what you told me? Yeah? No,
I went. I went into the woods and a cab.
Yeah my god, and your bowsome crew? Did you find

(38:04):
Chris on this but he couldn't go. I'm guessing well,
I had a West Coast bachelor party in an East
Coast bachelor party. Yeah, okay, Yeah, you didn't want to
combine those two that would have been don't want people
to have to feel like they have to mingle. I
wanted to separate the friends groups so that everyone can life.

(38:26):
Why why because your friends are socially awkward and they can't.
Don't you think your friends would get along? Come on, man,
they would get along fine. But I wanted everybody to
feel completely at ease and natural. I don't want one
of my friend to be like And I also don't
want to be put in the position where I'm like
in the middle facilitating conversations because like, oh, here's my
friend Mike, here's meet my friend Jim. You buys both, Like,

(38:48):
how about how we don't we stop doing that. I
hate when people go, you, Nikki, this is this person,
this person, and I'm like, I can do this myself.
I guess some people need that, but I hate that
because then I'm like, oh, now I'm being set up
on a date and I don't want to talk to
this person. I never did I would have gradually. I
just feel And by the way, that's not your job.

(39:10):
If people sign up to go to a party, they
just they know. But I get I get wanting to
um erase any kind of feelings of anxiety. So you
kept them separate, so you have you had the West
Coast one yet, yeah I did when the Midwest one.
The Midwest one is uh yeah, it's gonna be next month,
okay um, and then we're gonna do the Upper Peninsula. Yeah. Well,

(39:31):
I feel like people do that thing that you're describing
when they don't want to talk to the person that
they're introducing you exactly, that is what happens. They always
they pawn off someone on you and you go, I
don't and then you and then you have to talk
about you know that they gave you the only piece
of information they gave you. It's so annoying. I like

(39:54):
it because I'm like very awkward socially. And my sister
used to have these part pies with like literary people,
and she had it was her job to be like
the host, and she was like, how do you make
small talk with fifty people at night? And she was
just really good at being like Anya you might you know,
Anya's used to be an ice skater and this one
like she would know these little factoids about people and

(40:16):
like quickly set them up and then leave. And it
was like, okay, well that's better than thing to talk about.
How most people do it, I will say I am
good at finding commonalities and being like, you guys need
to talk about this, and I'm I will set you
up for success. But some people just do it to
get exactly what Brian is saying so they don't have
to talk to either of you. Can you do it
for me and Anya? Like what if we were at

(40:37):
a party and you came up to us and you're like, hey, okay,
plant voice okay, Um, I would say, oh, you guys,
I both I did a podcast with both of you. Brian,
I did a podcast with when I had that Not
Safe show. Anya, I've done podcasts with forever. Um. Brian
is getting married. You guys are both getting married soon
in um this summer. Brian just had his bachelor party

(40:58):
where he introduced people or didn't have to introduce anyone
because he kept it like separate. Ana's not having a
bachelorette party. What do you guys think about that? Like
what or not that I know of? I haven't been
invited yet if she is, and I would talk about
like you're both getting or like Anya, as a musician, Brian,
you like music, like I don't know, like I love
the wedding thing. You could just leave it at that,

(41:18):
but Anya says, Brian, you guys have both worked with
me and lived with me or whatever. Brian hasn't, but
you're both getting married soon and then bye. And then
I'd be like, oh my god, Brian, you're getting married?
Are you stressed out? Does everyone want to know the
best icebreaker for a conversation if someone is married or
has a girlfriend, or just ask how they met? It's
a good It's always a good story, even if it's online.

(41:39):
And if it's online and they want to seem like
they go oh on an app? Which app? Who wrote first?
Where'd you go on your first date? People love if
they're in a good relationship. They love talking about their
relationship and it's always a good story. Oh my god,
can I tell you you're gonna love this? I was
at a I think it was an engagement party where
they were, Um, I would say pretty well to do?

(42:02):
People like one of the people getting married was well
to do hmm yeah, and um I heard that as
his name was to do. Holy seconds like money do
they have? Probably like yeah, um I And I was

(42:22):
with my I was with Ali, my fiance, and um,
someone was like, how'd you guys meet? And then and
then we were like we always think it's cute to
be like, yeah, we met on we met on an app,
and then people are always like, um oh that, oh
my god. Really and then sometimes the other people we
talked to have met on an app and that's you
really connect there. Yeah, we said, They said how did
you meet and we said, oh, we met on an

(42:44):
app and this person was like, oh, that's interesting, and
then she like couldn't handle it. She was like judging
us for having met on an app. No, that is
a that saying you met online was embarrassing in two
thousand and three, and before then we were so confused.
The only way people meet now if you've met in person.

(43:06):
That is when I go, h, what you met a
stranger out in the real world, like at the grocery
store in line, Like why are you talking to someone
in line? Get on your be on your phone and
mind your business, like that is the that is the
weird thing now. So this woman couldn't handle it, okay,
and then we're like, yo, let me have to continue
the conversation with her when she clearly just outwardly judged

(43:27):
us to our face and we're like, yeah, we met
on his miserable and old was she She was probably
late twenties or early thirties. I think it was. I
think it had to do with the fact that she
was well to do. Yeah, I forgot about the well
to do part. Yeah that in her world, Like that
really is an embarrassment. You didn't meet at your father's

(43:48):
country club, didn't meet at your local plane much. Yeah,
you weren't. It wasn't arranged for you by you know,
by two of your wealthy aunts. Well, okay, so when
you say you met on Hinge, what is the story there, like,
because I do want to know. I'm kind of interested.
We have five minutes till the end of this break,
let's get to it. So you met on Hinge? Hinge

(44:11):
is the one where it's like you have friends in common,
but you can pretty much find someone in common with
anyone that you have. Shit. Really, I mean, after like
three days, you no longer have enough friends to have
anybody in common with who you're matching with. Got it?
Even with all of your friends on each of the
coasts that you have that you have to separate your parties. Yeah,
all ten friends? No, what was your mutual friend with?

(44:34):
We didn't have a mutual friend. There was no They
just started giving you what was it about her profile?
Because Hinge has you know, I think most of them
do this now, but back in the day Hinge when
I was on, it always had fun question prompt questions,
and then you put up a picture and you could
just like each other's photo as opposed to like being
like I want to date you. I'm swiping right, you
just like like a photo? Yes, and well that This

(44:56):
is why anyone who's creative excels on Hinge because instead
of just swiping, you have to you comment on the photo,
and so you have to come up with something remotely
interesting to say in the comments in order to get
matched back. You can't just swipe and then hope. And
you can't just and if you comment on the photo
like hey or what's up, that's not good enough. No. No.

(45:19):
And someone wrote to me recently because I said on
the podcast that if you are on Bumble Girls, just
send an emoji. Never write like hey, what's up? Don't
write anything because bumble Girls have to reach out first.
But just do an emoji, because guys don't really like
you to make the first move. They want just you
to like, look at them, so send it emoji. But
this girl wrote to me and goes The emoji thing
has been working for me so much, So many conversations

(45:40):
have popped off because I send it emoji. She was like,
but they never ask me out. And that's the thing
that I think on dating apps that a lot of
people run into, based on what I read on Reddit
from dating advice, is that people don't ask people out.
And I used to do this too on dating apps.
I would match with people and then I would just
like not want to go out with them because I
just because I just wanted the validation that people liked me.

(46:00):
I wasn't really wanting intimacy because or meeting up in person.
And you used to be on the apps, like did
you ever struggle with men like not asking you out
or not like setting a date or taking it from
just conversating too Yeah. I remember like taking it to
therapy and being like, am I doing something wrong? And
my therapist is like, yeah, you're chatting for too long,
Like three or four volleys is enough? Like if the

(46:23):
person doesn't ask you out by then, or if you
don't say like do you want to get together? Which
I never took her advice on that because she was wrong.
She'd be like, just be done. You know none of that.
This isn't a chat app. You're not like here to
make penal friends. And then if you go on forever
like that and I do the same thing, you know
I would. I would definitely like just turned in into
like let's get to know each other, and then you

(46:44):
have nothing to talk about on your date when you
finally go on it, because you've you've done all the cursory,
like what do you do? What do you like? Like
so how quickly did you ask Alli out? Because I'm
guessing you asked her out? Well, by then I was
like an online dating expert and I had this Ryan
was so so I mean, Brian, there's so many layers
to this guy. But Brian was like very adamant about

(47:08):
finding a partner and like, oh my god, you were
you have you? He had a system of his like
that there pillars in his life, and one of the
pillars was finding like a wife, like finding a woman.
I treat everything like that, you know, like there when
I try to find a therapist, I go to like
five six therapists. There was a time when I had
five therapists at the same time, and I was waiting
to see which one would pops which one asked me

(47:31):
how first it was just because we're just chatting. It
so chatting for an hour. We would chat for an hour.
So um, when you met Ali? I mean this was
at the end of like years of online dating and
going on multiple dates a week. Yes, there was a year,
the Year of Dating I call it, where I went
on dates with over fifty different women and multiple dates

(47:57):
for many of them. So it was like on a ridge.
It was like a few dates a week. And there
was a time when I would go on multiple dates
at night. Oh my god, would you make for all
these or would you guys go dodge? Or what it
would be? I would always go on. The date would
always be drinks at a bar, and so if I
paid for oh yeah, and also I don't drink, So

(48:22):
I would go to these bars and let's get drinks,
and then I would pretend to drink the beer. Right,
that's what's called the beer. And one time I had
a bartender. I got there early, I had a beer
and I said to the bartender, can listen. I don't drink.
And this is a first date can you like help
me get rid of this beer? So it looks like

(48:42):
I drank it, And so the bartender was like yeah, man,
And so I was on this date and then the
bartender like when the person wasn't looking, would take my
beer and pour it out a little bit. Oh my god,
is so funny. Yeah, well, you're really bringing your authentic
self to these yeats by the way, Well, I felt
like they would they wouldn't want to get they would
judge you. Well, but discuss what you were dating girls

(49:03):
in their twenties who like, were not secure enough to
probably go on dates and not get a little bit drunk,
because that's what dating in your twenties is, right, Yes, um,
but Ali, what did you guys do on your first
day date? What about what about your what about her profile?
Did you say anything? Do you remember it? Do you
remember or was it just one of another? Like I
remember seeing her on Hinge and I was like, there's

(49:25):
just no way she is going to respond to my
message because she was so beautiful. I was like, there's
no way. And then I made a comment she was
she had like a pirate so beautiful. She had a
pirate costume on this she had a pirate costume on,
and she was wearing an eyepatch and the eye patch

(49:46):
was a little bit a jar. And all I said was, um,
a jar. It was a jar. And all I said
was it was askew. That's what I meant. Okay, a
jar was like it's slightly open. Yeah, probably was. Yeah,
it was slightly open and it was a skew. And
I said, are you a pirate full time? Or is
that your side hustle? That was my comment. So you

(50:08):
see what I'm saying. You have to be just like
a little bit clever. Well, yeah, you should have been,
but a little bit. It was a nice try. I
cannot feel Okay, so she already probably liked you. I
got the but I got the inside scoop since then,
because this is why you're You're you're setting me up
against other comedians in terms of being interesting. Like that

(50:31):
comment is like a ten out of ten compared to
my god, you're so right, you're so right. The gen
pop is not capable of that of Yeah, even so
getting the word a jar wrong, no, yeah, they don't
even know that word even much less even able to
use it wrong incorrectly. Okay, that's right. Um, and so
she told me that. I was like, so, what did

(50:51):
most people say when unhinged to you? And she said, well,
most people would say, and I would hate this is
they would go, hey, you're patches on wrong. That would
be their first comment. Yeah, yeah, that's a nag kind
of like again, was like, are you a part time
pirate or just are you a pirate full time? Or

(51:13):
is it your side hustle? Okay, yeah, yeah, it's good
all right, And so that kicked it off. And then
you asked her out right, yeah, because I mean that
it couldn't get too chatty. And the thing was we lived, Um,
she lived in on the west side and I lived
on the east side, and in in normal people, that's
like separate bachelor partist. That's like, that's like living in

(51:36):
a different state if you're in LA. I mean it's
it's almost like, why would you even have your hinge
to go to those areas because this is going to work. Yeah,
And she had her uh her radius set to like
fifty miles by accident. Yeah, And so it was like
she and so for like one week she accidentally had

(52:00):
it open and I always had mine open as wide
as possible. I was like I'll drive anywhere. Yeah, and
we matched and um yeah and uh then she like
disappeared for a little bit and I was like, of course,
she disappeared, like she's not going to continue talking to me.
And then one day she messaged me back after like
two weeks and was like, oh, hey, she just wasn't

(52:24):
checking the app. And then we went on a date.
Um at a at a lesson. Two girls seemed disinterested.
Don't be too needy. Well cool, she just she wasn't
even trying. She just was cool. Yes, exactly. And your
your emoji comment is one hundred percent correct, like just

(52:44):
send an emoji guy. Don't do anything like you don't
have to do anything. Guys will come after you, Yes,
yes they will. Well, last night, Anya uh discovered something
on the show. She's watching The Bachelor and boiler alert
if you don't want to hear if you haven't seen
the latest episode. But it's down to him picking the

(53:04):
final two. There were three girls left. They all went
to the fantasy suite, which is where you could possibly
have sex. It's kind of like in the air. Now
what happened exactly? Anya? So he decides the Bachelor decides
I'm going to go into this week without sex being
on the table, and he tells each woman this at
the start of dating the bed. No not on tables,

(53:25):
no sex on tables. So with Girl number one, he's like,
just so you know, I want sex to be off
the table this week. And then they cut to her
in review and she's like, that was sort of a
disappointment and I don't like being told what's not going
to happen. And she's very sexual too, and she's like
this beautiful Russian girl and they have tons of chemistry.
She's like a knockout too, and she's like, we'll see

(53:46):
about that. Well, you know. Anyway, they have a date
and you find out afterwards they did not have sex,
and so he moves on to Girl number two. She's
very shy. Yeah, they hang the sheet outside after and
there was not a blood stain upon it. So Chris Harrison, oh,
he's on the show anymore. That other guy that looks
like all the bachelors said they did not have sex, Okay,

(54:09):
they didn't tell. When the bachelor told that guy, Jesse
his plan, you could just see in Jesse's eyes, which
are pretty blank anyway, he was just fighting this urge
to be like, dude, no bad idea, And so he
goes on date number two with this very like sort
of mentally fragile girl. She has bad h adhd. She's
very insecure. They have a lot of chemistry though, but

(54:31):
she's like shy and anyway, same thing. He tells her
his intentions no sex. She's cut to her interview. She's like,
I don't know about that. We'll see if I can
convince him to otherwise. I kind of think sex is
important or whatever. Then after their date, cut to them
snuggling in the morning and you do an interview with
her one on one and she's like, we had a
great cuddle fest and big smile, So you're like, did

(54:55):
they I think they did have sex. Then cut to
the bachelor and he's like, we had an amazing night.
But I changed my mind and it became evident that,
like my rule was not going to fly, and we
both decided, as adults, we wanted to take this further,
and we did. But now I'm in a quandary. I
gotta tell I gotta tell girl number three what I

(55:16):
did because I told Girl number three no sex, right,
he actually hadn't. He had only told each woman so
far that he had seen and got it. Okay, so
we can Jest see. The host is like why do
He's like, you don't really, you're gonna tell him, but
you're going to tell her, and he goes, I have
to be transparent with all the women, and Jesse's just
like okay. So he goes on date number three, which

(55:39):
is in a fucking swamp in Thailand, like the worst setting.
It's in a river, but it's like, oh, cold, dank
river and it's getting darker and darker by the second,
and they're in this horrible canoe. Anyway, he tells her
and she's not crazy. He goes, I wanted this to
be a no sex week for everybody, and I kind
of fucked up and just left with the last girl.
She's horror fied and she's like, I know what this

(56:03):
week is. I didn't need to know this, and now
like this is the beginning of our date, like I
can't be psyched. This is a bummer, Like you didn't
need to tell me this. This is between you and
all the women you know, and it's just awkward and
terrible and it's just getting darker and darker. Is he
apologizing now? Or is this her saying this off camera
of like I didn't even know this, or is she
saying that to him? She's saying that to him, He's

(56:27):
awkwardly like trying to hug her. It's the she just
does not want to be there. He feels kind of dumb,
but he keeps trying to be like, I'm an honest person,
though I would think that you would want this, like
I'm being transparent. She's like, no, I don't need to
know all this, you know, And she's like, I don't
really what did you expect me to just be like,
oh great, like let's have a fun date. Like I'm

(56:47):
not happy. She just kept saying I'm not happy and
I can't sound I feel like if any person that
you could ever relate to, it would be this woman.
I liked her because I actually am afraid to say
all right, have been in the past, afraid to just
say my feelings very simply. And she just kept being like,
I'm just not happy, and she kept repeating, and I
was like, that's pretty powerful to just own that, yeah,

(57:10):
Like why would you be happy anyway? Then she snaps
out of it after a few hours. They go on
their date later that night, they get out of the swamp,
they get cleaned up, they go to dinner. Somehow this
woman's out of total one eighty and she's like, you
know what, I am so into you. I'm falling in
love with you. Let bygones be bygones, don't care. Let's
have a fun night. She pulled the nicky glazer. I

(57:32):
think Nikky would do that of like let me just
re reset, like yeah, you know, power down and power
back up, Like yeah, let's get the political Okay, You're
like logical, I know what show I'm on, Like, well,
thank you. That's very nice of you to that reminds
you of me. Yeah, I was like, this girl's kind

(57:52):
of practical. I've always thought this girl, Katie was the
best match for this boring guy, Jake the Bachelor, whatever
his name is, I forgot anyway, they this whole show.
You don't even know his name. That's out bloring. This
dude was. I think I watched the first episode and
I go because I was like, I'm gonna get back
into the Bachelor. I couldn't care less about this guy.

(58:13):
This guy was so boring. He didn't deserve all these
women to be falling over him. He was just he's
kind of adult. But he's tall and hot, right yeah,
like he's a formerly fat person, so he's very he's
very kind and emotionally mature, I think, but he's a
little I think it's passive aggressive. He's got some rage
in there. But anyway, I'll wrap this up. So they

(58:35):
have date number three together. It's unclear whether they've slept
together until all three women are lined up the next
day at the rose ceremony, at which point he I'm
gonna spoil this completely now he eliminates the no no
no oh, yeah, he start no no, he eliminates um
number one. Right, yeah, that correct. She's very mature about there, goodbye.

(59:01):
It's kind of amazing, and you know, she's like it
was incredible, meaning you goodbye, and they have a hug goodbye.
He comes back and then but as he's saying breaking
up with the Russian girl, these two were together holding
their roses and Katie Girl number three looks to girl
number two, who has slept with the bachelor, and she goes,

(59:21):
I knew. Under her breath, she goes, I knew you'd
be the only one, meaning I know you'd be the
only one he's slept with, So now we know Katie
did not sleep with him. And then they're standing there,
but the girl who slept with him, I wish I
could remember her name. She looks furious. She's pissed off.
I forgot to mention, she told the producers on camera.
In her one on one interview, she's like, I feel

(59:42):
completely blindsided because Jake came to tell her the next day,
like I'm going to tell all the women what we've done.
And she's like no, no, no no, no, no, no no no,
this was our thing, Like this is private, and he's like, no,
I think it's really important to be transparent with everybody else.
Why was she blindsided if he told her that he
was going to tell him. I good question. I think
they must have had an agreement during the sex or

(01:00:04):
their little private night together, like let's just nact on
between us, got it? Yes? And she's like, now you
show up at my house with all these cameras telling
me like, hey, we fucked, let's tell America. And she's like,
I wanted to be a little more subtle about it,
and so he signed up to me on the Bachelor,
so right. But she also she's like, I didn't. I
didn't know. We're telling everybody, yeah, yeah, But the most

(01:00:26):
interesting part is he comes back from the can we
do leave this as a cliffhanger and come back and
tell everyone because this does end in a way that
there's a reason I asked on you to tell a story,
because we're going to come back after this and find
out why. All right, we're back. So he comes back
after letting the first girl go, the two remaining girls,

(01:00:47):
one of whom just goes, I knew you'd be the
only one, meaning the only one he slept with. So
she knows girl who slept with him is horrified that
he has told this girl and that now her secret
that she slept with the bachelor is out. And then
what happens. Then Jake is only making eye contact with Katie,
the woman he has yet number three, Girl number three,

(01:01:08):
and he's just like, next week is going to be
so great, meeting your family's just tunnel vision on. Katie
has completely forgotten about the other woman that he had
this very special night with, and all we see is
cutting back to the girl, Girl number two, who's furious,
pissed off and is staring at both of them like,
all right, I'm just a third wheel here. He's already
moved past her, he's over it. He's like focused on Katie,

(01:01:31):
and it made me think of coming Now, Why Anya,
you've synthesized this pretty well last night I was texting
with you about it because you were filling me in.
Why do you think he wasn't? And it's not just
about that he's slept with her and he's bored with
someone he's slept with already and he's already conquered it.
What is it about a guy sleeping with someone who

(01:01:52):
isn't um their actual boyfriend that makes this? Why do
you think he liked her less? I think he didn't
earn her. He didn't earn it. Really, it was too
easy to come by. Still, he was still dating three
women when she said, fine, I'll give you the one
thing that is SA is supposed to be sacred, and

(01:02:14):
I know some women are like, it's not sacred. I
love sex. I want to give Men look at it
as a sacred thing. They want to earn it, and
as much as they beg for it and convince themselves
that they want it whenever they can get it, they
really want it when they've earned it. And they will
only really stick around afterwards if they feel like they've
earned it. And you're right, he didn't feel like he
earned it because he didn't. He was dating three women

(01:02:36):
still and they I'm sure they did make an adult
decision together, and I'm sure the moment was great, but
the problem is it wasn't an exclusive relationship yet. And
the problem is women more than men, have this oxytocin
thing that happens where even though we feel amazing in
the moment and the sex was great and everything, if
you break up with us after and choose someone else,

(01:02:57):
it is heartbreaking. It is heartbreaking, Like it is hard
to get over that because we're already bonded somewhat. We
don't just shake it off, you know what I mean.
Do you think he's still into this number three girl
because she um, she's still like he hasn't gotten everything
that he wants from her yet, and he really has
gotten I mean, sex is kind of like it's done

(01:03:18):
with them. I actually don't and maybe that's a controversial point,
but I actually think he like he's always liked her
a little. I think they have a deeper connection and
like a more lasting connection, and she's a little less
of a wild card than girl number two. Girl number
two has some like problems, you know, so you're a
little worried about her. I think, yeah, Like, they don't

(01:03:39):
think it's going to go towards her. She's great, but
they just don't have the solid chances the chances she
wins percentage wise the girl number two to me, Wow,
low percentage Okay, okay, so it still could happen. Not likely,
just my opinion. Yeah, do you think if she didn't
sleep with him that he would have been less? Like?

(01:04:02):
Do you think that was a factor. Do you really
believe that that of him being more focused on number three?
I think it's a factor. Yeah, But I think that
ultimately the connection is better with the third girl. I
just think that they shouldn't have had sex because the
girl's going to be heartbroken. Yes, I so much more
than if she didn't. I read all the time in

(01:04:25):
dating advice on Reddit of Girls saying I slept with
this guy. We had been dating five weeks. I finally
stop with him, and I haven't heard from him. He
went away for a week and he said he'd call
me when he got back to town, and I haven't
heard from him. Since and I slept with him the
night before he left. Why haven't I? And it's always
like I want to just get in there and go
read Getting two. I do read Getting two, I do
read like and it's the worst name for a book.

(01:04:45):
But it just sleeping with guys too soon before commitment
is always a bad idea, It just is. So the
thing Jake said, if that is his name, was he
goes it was very important to our relationship to make
that decision. It was important to further our relationship. And
I don't think that's the reason she had sex. Like

(01:05:09):
he thinks for them, it was really good for them,
it got them farther along. But I don't think that's
the reason she had I've had sex with guys because
I think that it's going to get us farther along,
and that that's the next step. It's like that's going
to push our relationship. Once we've had sex, now he's
going to almost feel more close to me. But it doesn't.
It doesn't. He's like he's like to Jake, I think

(01:05:30):
it means it's getting a step closer to where Katie
and I are girl number three, right, you know, like
they're now built intimacy, and it does think Girl number
two had any idea of that. Girls have sex early
on and it comes from like insecurity, and they think
that it'll move the relationship further head. That's why I've

(01:05:52):
done it too. I've done it because I'm like they,
because we only know our own experience, and I know
that when I have sex, I feel much closer with one.
It does. It does up my intimacy. It does that
for me, but it does not work the same way
with men. Brian, can you weigh in on this at all?
It removes them the awkwardness that you have during the
date of like am I gonna kiss you? Or can

(01:06:13):
how you know, touchy feely? Can we be so? Like
if you have sex then afterwards, that removes a lot
of the awkwardness. But I will say I've never had
like a one night stand that I appreciated, you know,
like the earlier the worst in my opinion, Yeah, yeah,
um explain why? Yeah? Well, I think the first time
you have sex with somebody, it's it's already horrible, no

(01:06:36):
matter what. It's so awkward, no matter Yeah, I don't
think that it makes it better. I've had sex with
people and then I go on a date and we're like,
we don't know when we can touch each other. I'm like,
I was like, my mouth was inches from your asshole?
Why is it? Why are we like picking out our
food and being so awkward like this is It doesn't
necessarily make things that much easier. Alcohol does, But until

(01:06:59):
that would to my blood stream, it was still awkward.
You can't enter that state again, like right out of
the gate um. But yet to tell me a little
bit more about why you think it sects me as
soon as not great? I mean, I can't tell I
can't speak for all men because I don't feel like
I'm a typical Okay, well, I think guys the truth

(01:07:19):
about from the West coast Man. Yeah, well the West
coast Man is just flowing with it and he's like,
you know, whatever happens happens, which I hate. Um, the
East coast Man is trying to conquer. So I think
it depends on what coast demands from. But I think
like the earlier you do it, the the more things

(01:07:40):
that you can discover about the person that you don't like. Honestly.
Oh yeah, yeah, one time, one time, I during my
year of dating, I uh, I slept with some woman
early and um, while while we were resting, she she

(01:08:01):
commented that my shoulders didn't have enough hair on them. M.
She said, do you about yourself? She's like, do you
shave your shoulders? And I was like no, but I
did get famously with Tim Convey. I did get a
laser hair removal on my back and shoulders, so there's
less hair on my shoulders than my than my arms.

(01:08:22):
And she was like and she was like, that's hysterical,
and I was like, well, I definitely don't want to
date you if the first time. Yeah, we're doing that.
You're shaming your body, shaming about my shoulder hair, and
you know what that is. That's just her feeling really
insecure and needing to call out the things. She's so
worried you're gonna do that to her. She's doing it
to you before you can get to her. Yeah, I

(01:08:43):
think that's what. And then she went she dated some
surf instructor and I was like, there's nobody he's got
hair on his shoulders. Now there's hairless. They're hair lessons. Yeah. Um.
Final thought, Um, okay, so we can we get some
fan traxes? Is that what we have today. Yeah, I
do have some of you want to look. Okay, let's

(01:09:04):
do some fanthrax. Yeah, okay, that really got me today
for some reason. Okay, let's hear what some besties have
to say. Okay, let's start off with a voicemail from Hadley. Hello,
I'm listening to the most recent episode where you talk

(01:09:25):
about the Reddit post of the people finding the creamatory
smoke in the daytime, and it just made me think
of my hometown. We had a funeral home that was
across the street from a local high school, and the
weights room was right across the street, and they would
open the window to work out, and they would have
to shut it in the morning because specifically in the morning,
they would burn the bodies and the smoke would come

(01:09:47):
out and it was really pungent and smelly, and so
they would have to keep the window closed. That's been
like a thing forever. The juicier part about the story
is that the funeral home was recently shut down and
condemned because the owner was mishandling the bodies. Oh God,
there was a complaint of a smell like a block away.
They did an investigation. They found several like rotting bodies,

(01:10:11):
it's really disgusting and disrespectful and hard to talk about.
But fetuses that had no connection to anyone, and they
have also suspected necrophilia, and he was going to trial
and probably going to jail. So you should look that
up because it's a really interesting case. Also makes me
think about a Twitter thread I saw today of morticians

(01:10:33):
talking about how they don't like to hire men because
they get caught fucking the bodies so we're never safe. Um, okay, cool, no,
thank you, Hadley. This is not surprising. Again, male guynecologists
like get men out of men are by and large
more sexually erratic and motivated to do weird stuff. So

(01:10:56):
if you want to have things not get fucked, don't
hire men no offense. Like of course you wouldn't, most
men wouldn't, but like you women, fewer women would be
motivated to fuck up a dead corpse. Then. I mean,
I used to have a boyfriend that you know, and
college stuck is dick in like a peanut butter jar,

(01:11:18):
like just to see what it was like. Men do
weird stuff, they're motivated, their hormones are going crazy, and um, yeah,
that's really disturbing. I have to maintain though that I
wouldn't mind if someone tried to fuck me when I
was dead. I would be almost I don't think it's
a respectful thing. I'm horrified by that. Um that message.
But if you are a mortician out there creamator or

(01:11:42):
um and you come across my body, you can't fuck it. Um.
If I'm dead, I don't care. I don't think dead
parents would sign off on that. Well, they don't get to.
I'm in charge of my dead body. I get to
say I this is in my living will and my
dead one. I don't care if you try to fuck
me because I'm dead, But I still don't think it's
right to do a matter why an age? Oh oh man,

(01:12:04):
that's that's an interesting one. Noah wow, okay, um, you
are like this is almost dealing with the thing of pedophilia,
where they're like, well if they make dummies of kids, like,
is it okay? I'm saying from this age and beyond.
Oh um. No. If someone wants to fuck my old
body when I'm like ninety and die like also fine,
they can fuck it at anytime because I'm dead. Again,

(01:12:27):
if it's before the open casket, I'd ask you to
have a little respect for my head, Like let's like
keep my head looking okay and not with like come
all over it, like don't really fuck it up, but
the rest of my body go at it, don't care. Um,
have fun. He wouldn't just let you go out there covered.
He would wipe it off. No, but I feel like
it would like dent, like it would just like mush

(01:12:48):
my skin, Like my face already is dead, Like I
don't need like them like humping my face, like it
would just just don't don't do it to my face. Yeah, okay,
if this is the least I can ask for, and
I have teeth still, I'm guessing when I die. Um,
but that was a fascinating story. And it would be
so weird to be working out and then all of
a sudden, your grandpa's ashes like fly in the room.

(01:13:09):
You're like heaving and hoeing as you're trying to like
do have lat pull or whatever. Um, oh my god,
that's curious at all. When she said I forgot the
word a stred but like punging about pungent, Like I
wonder what it smells like. Um, it smells like corpses. Oh,
really pungent. It makes me think of like tangy and

(01:13:31):
like like rotting pungent. Yeah, yeah, I mean that's what
they always say, people that have smelled a dead body,
which I've never smelled a dead human body to my knowledge,
but people that have smelled it say it's the most unforgettable,
awful scent ever. Have you, guys, ever smelled a dead body? Yes?
I lived, you have I know a dead human I

(01:13:51):
lived in a house where a neighbor passed away and
they and we found out because of the smell. Oh
so you sometimes sometimes you die and you have no
one and then you just sit there in your living
room until someone smells it, until someone smells it. Yeah. Yeah.
I was on the subway, um, coming home from a
Guns and Roses concert. It wasn't really Guns and Roses.

(01:14:15):
It was just like them like reuniting in like this
new band, and there was a homeless man on the
subway and it's like a like this like sour chemical smell. Yeah,
train smelled it. If you can you still smell it now,
like if you Yes, that's that's what they describe it as.
I'm so grateful I have never smelled it again. Um, well,

(01:14:36):
I hope you smell it soon for that guy who
kills possums. Fuck that guy, Oh my god, who's tortures possums.
I hope that guy that smell admits from his house soon.
I hope someone traps him and lets him just fucking
die in the cage. Hate that asshole so much. Literally,
I hope he dies um okay next to Fantrax. Okay,
let's uh hate him. Sorry, aunty U just listening to

(01:15:00):
the episode where Nikki you were talking about how used
to go into chat rooms in like the late nineties
and talk to those wolf people and kind of make
fun of that. But it made me think about how
when I was like fourteen with my best friend Sarah Jones,
we would go into those chat rooms and we were
talking to this guy and his name was Ryan Sarge,

(01:15:21):
and we used to like send him pictures and we
would pretend like it was our pussies, but we was
like our lips from our face, and we'd hold our
hair in front of our lips and then scan it
on my dad's scanner in his office, and then we'd
send him those and pretend it was our pussy like
you'd need to shave, And so we just stopped talking

(01:15:43):
to him in chat rooms, love you uh juicy pussy.
Oh my god, that's so funny. I get to see
these little girls like slamming their faces into a scanner,
like the dad's scanner, lifting up that screen and like
it's clanking on their head as they just like smushed
their faces. That I have one at home. Now I

(01:16:04):
know what I'm doing with my afternoon. Yeah, O my god, Um,
that is so funny. Did you ever um go on
chat rooms? Brian? You're of the age? How old are
you again? Thirty seven? Thirty five? And I have tell
your face like two years? You know. I did actually
get I got botox yesterday for my job. What's really

(01:16:28):
I got? Bird? I got It's not for wrinkles. It's
because I have excruciating pain in my jaw and they
injected me with bowtime about dying? Yeah, well yes, because
I clenched my teeth at night thinking about all the
horror of non existing constantly. Sometimes wake up scream. This
is the song Anti here, I wake up screaming from

(01:16:53):
dreaming one day all watch as I'm leaving. That is
so funny. Okay, so you got botox in your jaw.
That's awesome. Oh yeah, and she feels so much better. Well,
you know, I think it takes a few days to
like kick in, but I have to say the first day.
This is the first morning, and I do feel a
little better. Yes, I feel better. That's cool. Yeah, I

(01:17:16):
just got botox in my forehead because I forehead is Yeah,
I've been stressing, screaming a rate that I've sleeped on
my long way. Oh my god, that's exciting. Okay, so
let's listen to then. Oh yeah, I was gonna ask
you about chat rooms, but we'll talk about another time.

(01:17:38):
Let's go to another fan rex. Okay, Um, do you
want sad advice or like regular advice? Sad advice? Because
I feel bad not saying sad advice like that would
encourage you, not tell me sad things. All right, and
I want to be Yeah, let's hello Nikki. Noah, Sorry

(01:18:01):
in advanced my questions a bit of a sad one.
I just wanted to pull the group on a money
ish question since that's kind of been one of the
topics as of late. When just thinking about how when
Anya brought up yearly earnings versus what you would spend
on a hotel room, for example, Yeah, my dog was

(01:18:24):
diagnosed with cancer this week, So I'm just trying to
wrap my head around what's an appropriate number, What is
something that makes sense for a seven year old dog?
He just seems so young. You know, we all expect
to have a lot more time. That's not always the case.

(01:18:46):
Ah he sorry, I'll say it again. He's seven years old.
He's a bullmasted cross. He's about one hundred and thirty
five pounds. He's got humanized I just want to hear
what you ladies would do if you're in my shoes.
I'm in Canada, so emo costs are a little bit
higher down here for us anyways. Hoping sorry, he just snored.

(01:19:10):
Hoping you guys can make this a little light and
give some advice for me and anyone else who's been
in my situation. What you think we should do? Oh?
Jacked up? Pet bellum Man, I'm so sorry. Next to one,
I'm just kidding this next question now, this sucks. I'm

(01:19:35):
so so sorry. What is her name again? It's anonymous? Okay, um,
I'm so sorry about your dog of seven years. It's
fucking terrible. My sister's dog just had to be put
down last week because of probably cancer issues like just
tumors and um just too much complications. Also like a

(01:19:55):
hundred and something pound dog um twelve years old, those
so a little bit more life behind it to justify like, Okay,
maybe it's time for it to go, so um, I
can't you know, I wish I would have know, Like
how much you like you shouldn't go homeless saving your dog?

(01:20:17):
I don't think right like we have to that's I
would financially, But then there's always like go fund means,
and you're like, maybe I could get people to donate
enough and do something like, um, try every avenue. I
I would measure how horrible it would be for your

(01:20:42):
dog to go through this, and what the outcome, how
much life and what kind of what the quality of
life would be for your dog. The nice thing about
having animals, and I have to say that this, even
though this is sad thing, you can euthanize them, unless
unlike humans where you just have to wait for them
to choke on their own vomit and die or like

(01:21:04):
just die of old age. Like you can put them
out of their misery and give them like a nice
send off surrounded by like love, and they kind of
just go to sleep and it's painless and it's humane,
and that is like the cool thing that we get
to do for our pets. So it's not as much
as it is like a horrible thing like and that
it is kind of your choice, and it feels like, oh,

(01:21:25):
I'm choosing to kill my dog, like you're choosing to
not have it suffer, as my thought, like a lot
of people think that. Because I'm vegan, I never want
dogs to like be put down or like cats and stuff.
And I'm actually a big advocate for putting animals down
when they're suffering or when they have to spend their
lives in a small cage. I think they should. I
think in a lot of ways it'd be better to

(01:21:46):
just put them down because it's just the worst life
to be lonely in a cage. So I just would
weigh the suffering. And in terms of money, I mean,
what do you what do you? What are your guys's thoughts.
I think that definitely how much money she makes factors in.
But I will say this, there is an option between

(01:22:10):
putting the dog down and chemotherapy, and that is just
letting nature take its course. I was visiting a farm
one time, and they had this dog who had cancer
for like four or five years and there was a
tumor growing on its back that was literally the size
of like a couch cushion. It was, it was like

(01:22:32):
the size of it. It It was like crazy, like we'd
see this thing and be like, isn't is that? Did
you need to do something about that? And the and
the farmer was like just letting it go. And the
dog was perfectly happy. It had a tumor the size
of a couch cushion, but it was running around, it
was eating its food, it was still you know, and
like that was like four or five years and d yeah, yeah,

(01:22:56):
and people were finding coins underneath it, and I'm with
ban my friend just went through this with her dog,
and um, you know, they did what they could and
this is a very wealthy friend. But ultimately the dog
just basically, you know, was living with cancer for a
few years and they gave it a good sendoff and
had the vet come to the house and euthanize it

(01:23:19):
up thousand dollars to No, it's not that much, it's
not that much. But I would also, yeah, like Nikki said,
like what how much is this chemotherapy? How much is
this in relation to it? You make do not feel
badly if you have to make the choice to euthanize
the dog, but also talked to about salary. Oh wait,

(01:23:41):
that's a wedding ring. Talk to the vet about how
how the dog's life would be if it could just
live with this for yeah, yeah, there's no guarantee. Just
because you're diagnosed with cancer does not mean you're gonna die.
And you know too much for some reason, when I start,
I remember not that long ago, like I just started.

(01:24:01):
My world opened up, maybe on Instagram or something to
people who just live with cancer, and they're just like,
I have cancer for twenty years now. I'm like, wait, what,
like you can I mean, I don't know anything about cancer,
so I should just shut the fuck up. But yeah,
I think that's an interesting option of just like letting
nature take its course until life is so miserable for
your dog and then doing what's necessary to like ease

(01:24:24):
it's pain and send it off to the next realm
that it will experience. If or you can get your
dog to do DMT now and you guys can get
together and you can both accept it. It's you'll be
together in some other realm M Noah as someone who
had a dog that died of cancer, right answer, yeah, yeah,
what are your thoughts? So I think I'm like in

(01:24:44):
between Brian and Anya. Definitely talk to the vet, see
what the dog's quality of life is and also what
your quality of life will be like. For example, with
my dog Bruno, the tumor grew in a way where
I would have to get him over to the hospital
and they'd put a catheter to empty his bladder. So
that was not like a thing I was going to

(01:25:06):
do to keep my dog alive for another five years. UM. Also,
I want to say that UM, I was very lucky
because the doctor that UM in the emergency hospital of
ERG in Brooklyn. He UM runs up like a pet
rescue charity for people who can't afford medical expenses or

(01:25:30):
UM rescuing um animals that don't have homes and stuff
like that and providing them with medical treatment. And when
I like, so, I would drive my dog Brunal like
an hour and a half out of the city just
to save money on the VET than have like being
in New York City. And when I was like, oh,

(01:25:51):
you know, can I just like wait one more day
before you put the catheter the catheter in and take
him to his regular vet. So I think he like,
you know, he knew that I was concerned about the bills,
so um, he was just like, don't worry about it,
and he like entered me as a candidate into this
pet rescue mission UM thing like totally unbeknownst to me

(01:26:14):
because he knew what was going to happen and he
didn't want that stress on it. It was like very
very kind um. And then in return, I started to
go fund me for Bruno and I paid the money
back for someone else to have the same um experience
that I had. So there are organizations out there that
you can reach out to and they're very like sympathetic

(01:26:34):
and kind and you know, just like weigh it all together.
But also I think a very important thing is to
take into consideration the costs of um euthanizing your dog,
which is a very hard thing to look at it,
and also what you're gonna do with the body and
how much that costs? Oh right, I mean is it

(01:26:54):
a lot? And it's one you have someone fuck your
dog discounts that should be an option. That should be
an option you should be able to check that off
before you die for a discount the mortician. Honestly, wait
a second, that sucks that. It's so so if is

(01:27:17):
it free? If you're like just throw them in the dumpster?
Is it free? Well? I I buried Bruno in someone's backyard,
so that was free for me. So that was free. Yes, Okay,
that's good. Did you was that hard to dig? Oh?
My god? Well yes, taking into the ground is so hard.
I mean Jeffrey Dahmer and he there's multiple stories of
him trying to exuom bodies to fuck them, and he

(01:27:39):
would always get tired because he's like, it's so much
deeper than you think in the ground is so cold
and wet and hard. And that's always what I remember,
is like digging a grave is a lot harder than
people think it is. Most people give up, and that's
why bodies are found after like us light flooding is
because people don't dig them deep enough. That's why it's
like it has to be six feet you know, it's

(01:28:01):
hard to get down that far. Did you ever hear
that that Norm McDonald bit about what he would do.
It's on his last album where it's like I would
go into the woods and I would dig a very
very very deep grave. Do you ever hear that bit? No? No,
what is it? Well, that's the bit. I mean, I
don't want to I can't do it justice. So but

(01:28:22):
but Norm McDonald says it's funny. But yeah, I have
to say that there was a friend of mine who
had a problem with their animal and they were like,
do do I What do I do? Like, Um, I
have this animal that is like bites everyone and it's
like causing my life so much turmoil. Do I like
take take a risk and fly out to go get
it and think it's not gonna bite my life and

(01:28:44):
fuck it up? And I was like, you should just
put it down. He keep suggesting people put down their
animals this week, and I swear to God I I
fucking love animals. But like, why am I the only
one who ever thinks that it's a good idea to
just like put things. But I'm also you know, slightly
suicidal and have those ideations where I'm like, I think

(01:29:05):
death is a sweet release. So I've always kind of like,
I think that's the better option. So I don't want
people to misconstrue me telling this girl to put her
dog down. As like I'm being heartless and like careless.
I'm actually just coming at it from a perspective of
someone who, like I hope someone puts me down, like
I hope there's the option for euthanization when I get
to the point where I'm in so much pain instead

(01:29:27):
of just waiting for it to because I because people
are too scared to like see me die, they just
have to watch me die from natural causes. So that
was my point there. But it is hilarious to me
that this week on the Girl's Chat, I gave advice
for someone to put down their cat and no one
co signed on it. Everyone was like, I think there's
a different perspective here, and I was the first to

(01:29:47):
be like, oh me, me, me, put your cat down.
I was like, I'll go with you to do it.
Not because I'm like excited for this cat to die,
but I'm just like, oh, I just don't see another option.
I just don't. But obviously there's many other options. So
thank you for your SADU fan trax. It didn't turn
out to be very funny because we were able to
make some jokes, but I am really really sorry for
what you're going through and it makes me just Yeah,

(01:30:10):
animals suffering is just too much to comprehend, and you
gotta make jokes. So thank you for the disturbing dark
fan traxes today. Guys. Good job. Keep them coming. We
will get to them at some point. I am on
tour again this weekend. If you were in Spokane, Washington
or Eugene, Oregon in those areas, I will be there
this weekend, and then the weekend after that I think

(01:30:33):
I'm oh, I'm in Palm Springs on a girls trip,
and then the weekend after that I'm going to be
in Las Vegas. Are there any other dates that I
can plug Anya that you know of. It's not till
April fourteenth in Bethlehem, PA. And then April fifteenth in Hampton,
New Hampshire. Yeah, tuson Arizona AA April twenty seventh. I'm
going to see Taylor Swift on April second. That's a

(01:30:54):
big deal. I also watch the Kennedy Center Awards this
Sunday for the Mark Twain Prize for um Adam Sandler.
That will be on CNN on Sunday night. UM watch
the iHeart Music Radio Awards on Monday night. I will
be a special presenter on those awards. So I think
that's on Fox. You can watch that. And um, Brian,

(01:31:18):
do you have a podcast right now that we can promote. No,
I don't have a podcast. Okay, we'll just follow Brian
Frangie on Instagram Brian Frangie. UM, support on your Marina
as always, come see me on tour and uh yeah yeah,
don't be cool and just put your dog down. Easy answer.

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