Nikki and Brian are joined by Chris and former co-host/Bestie Andrew Collin. They discuss various topics: billionaires owning islands, Nikki's music video coming out, and of course, her new special on HBO Someday You'll Die. They each share how they want to be buried and how they want their ashes spread. Some answers may surprise you! Final thought, Kim Kardashian slid a congratulations DM to Nikki this week.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glizer podcastser Hello here, I am welcome to
the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm in Los Angeles.
Uh still, I am joined by three of my favorite
people of all time. Brian Franngie is here. Hey, Brian, Hello, We're.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Gonna we should clap for everybody, just like they do
on the Pat McAfee show. Oh yeah, that's why I'm
wearing all this cold ski.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
That's so fun of you.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
The Pat McAfee.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
It was so fun. We'll talk about it because it
came out of nowhere, and it only came out because
I reached out to you guys. And then Chris convis here,
welcome back. Yeah, Chris conby everyone, and really that's a good.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Fun fun and then christ applause.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah it does feel good. And then Andrew Colin. Everyone
back to the show. Andrew Colin, welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Back, good to be back. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah. So I reached out to you guys because I
was like, I forget who said it to me, But oh,
I was at a podcast yesterday. We're here to help.
Maybe it was them. I forget who I apologized whoever
told me like you need to like go hard in
the sports world. What do all the sports shows? I
think it was Joe Jack Johnson, not Jack Johnson. What's
(01:21):
his name over there, Jake Johnson. So sorry, Jake. I
love you so much. I've never loved anyone more than
Jake Johnson. I've been talking about him all like, I
can't get over how great he is. But he was like,
you need to spin this into something bigger, like you
got to capitalize on this, get the word out on
all the sports shows. So I texted all of you
being like, what are the shows I should do? And
Pat McAfee show is the one? Number one you guys
(01:42):
each all of you said number one.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I knew those guys would love you.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, I mean it was.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It was so much fun and I just did it
and they had me on. You always know it's a
good segment when they have you planned before they go.
It'll be a fifteen minute segment and then you're looking
and it's like, oh, it's.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Been thirty five thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I was sitting outside this building just like, uh, just
watching it on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, it was really fun and and then you buzzed
in and that's the end of the story that I
have nothing more to say that you got in the building.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Walk up the stairs two flights.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, nice, you.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Killed it, man, Yeah, you killed it on that.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
But you guys all helped me. I mean, I was
Brian texted me a slew of things that I should
talk about because you were a fan of the show.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
And I mean, I love Pat McAfee, I love the cults.
I love Pat McAfee. I'm so proud that Pat McAfee
is like the number one sports analysts in the world
and he was a cult.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh he's so I mean, I just had that conversation
with him, and he was so fun and easy to
talk to.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You were amazing on it. It was perfect. You set
the perfect tone. You told a bunch of jokes. They
were laughing, and it's perfect for that show, like they
have a bunch of you know, hockey analysts. And then
general manager. You you followed a general manager who also
was a fan of yours by the way, yeah wow,
and the general of the same.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Team, the Bucks. Well, I gotta go down Florida.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Maybe that's my team too. I got to pick a
team so that that and then Andrew this morning was
texting me a ton of jokes. We were like, maybe
gonna roast Pat a little bit. Yeah, you had some
funny ones. I don't even want to say him because
I feel like I love Pat so much, I know,
and he did not ask for it, so we'll we'll
leave those out of there. But we had some really
good joke.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
He did not seem like he wanted to be roasting no,
and you know what, like some.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
People, I'm the same way, don't fucking ever. Anya still
talks about a day on tour like years ago where
she was roasting you, I guess Andrew, and she goes
and Andrew's like, I'll come back at you, and she
was like, come back at me, Let's see what you got.
And Andrew said something that like she can't I'm not
even gonna say what it was because she can't stop
seeing it. And it's like literally affected herself esteem for
(03:51):
the rest of her life.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yes, I wrote it before.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Every time Andrew sees somebody, he's like, well, if I
have to roast somebody, it's.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Because I was like the small little Jewish kid on
the bus that was always picked on, so I had
to It was so easy to just be like jew
you know, and then I couldn't. I didn't have anything,
like I had to like be creative, right, right, you can.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Make fun of you for being Jewish, but then for
all the Protestants and stuff, you have to come up
with something about their personality.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Exactly, do Bryant?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
My favorite, my favorite joke about being as a Jewish
person was Amy Schumer saying that they used to throw
pennies at her and call her, you know, jew and
throw pennies and then she'd go like what like screws McDuck,
like yes, like that is such a funny, but but yeah,
it's it's it's horrible to be roasted. I don't think anyone.
(04:42):
I would never I don't want it outside of that
kind of arena. Literally, I I don't. I would never
want it. I don't want to know anything about myself
that anyone thinks is negative. It's it's when anyone starts
a sentence like can I be honest with you? Or
like hey, I've been thinking can you sit down, like
can we talk? I don't want because it's that to
me is like there's some criticism coming your way and
(05:04):
I literally can't handle it.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, but I don't mind looks like makes it looks.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Really like because why because you can change it?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
No, I I'm the most self deprecating. I mean, I
think it's hilarious to make fun of looks. I think
when it starts to get like, there's who you are,
who you are and yeah, yeah achievements or work ethic
or my mom didn't love me, you'll never be as
good as your brother. Yes, you're right.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I think looks for me are so much worse. Obviously,
it's just like what you kind of get your worth from,
I guess, but I can get hit in other ways
as well. But it's yeah, it's it's not it's not fun,
and I'm glad I'm out of the woods on that
where it's like the jokes that were made, I'm just
like kind of over already.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, you know you move on.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Yeah, like the one about you being old, Like it's fun.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
It's a good joke though, Yeah, it was so funny.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Struck, Yeah, it was really.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I saw it in the prompter to like right before
he said, you know, he said he's talking about Bill
Belichick dating a young girl and he's like, you, coach,
you need to date someone more your age, Like nicky.
Like the way he delivered it was great too. And
I saw like NICKI coming up and I go, here
it comes. And you even saw his rehearsal set, and
you you were what a what a team player you
(06:22):
are because you had some insider information. You did not
deflate the balls for me because you knew that Gronk
was gonna call me old, but you just said, hey,
I saw Gronk set. He does have a joke about
you that tends to address the fact that your age
is a number, Like you said. You weren't even saying
like old. You were like, your age is a number
that is higher than other numbers, and I was like like,
(06:43):
and I only read it after like, but it was
I like that you like kind of had his back
and were kind of supportive of the roast environment where
I'm not supposed to know anything and you do have to.
I love playing fair. I hate cheating. I will. That's
why it kind of surprised me reading about Tom and
even having Tom and me it that he cheated kind
of or saying no, it wasn't any mission.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Deniability totally because he's that was so funny.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
He could just say you because his joke was like
the investigation that you guys put on to find out
if I had deflated these balls or knew about it?
Was you spent twenty million dollars, pay me to million dollars,
I'll tell you I did it. So he could just
say I was saying I would. I would just lie
and say I did it for twenty million dollars. That
is his deniability, but it's also could be taken as
he admitted it, which was a very I loved that
(07:27):
joke because it told that line of what.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Is he admitting mission?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I think it. I think we all know it was
because we he definitely didn't.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Know Oj Simpsons I did. That's what it was totally.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Also like deflating footballs, really, is that like such a
huge deal?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I guess in the scheme of things it's not. But
if everyone is cheating, I I probably would cheat if
I'm just to be fair with everyone else.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
We all know what they say.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
If wait, hold on, I know it once again. If
you if you're ain't cheating, you're not true.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Ryan basically is that it.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
If you ain't cheating, you ain't try.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
You've heard that, right. Bob Dylan had some line like that,
No he really did Bob Dylan out of line, like.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Fuck the Jets, I think, yeah, yeah, give me said.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Tom Brady killed Anon Hernandez. I think that's what Bob
Dylan said. I remember he was out of his time though. Yeah, yeah,
that was a Bob Dylan lyric of his new B side.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Well, I just found out I'm doing John Mulaney's UH
Live show. I was a fan, like I started out
the weak being like a fan of it, being like, man,
I wish I could do that show and it's so funny,
like it never a million years would I be on
the Pat McAfee show to promote my special Someday You'll
Die that's coming out on Saturday, last Saturday, because you're
hearing this the week after, but this is the week
(08:45):
but we're taping it the week before. And then also
John Mulaney's show, I was not in. John knows of
me were friendly and he's not. There's nothing, no reason
I would not ever be on that show if it
was in a long run. But they're only doing six
episodes and I'm gonna be And they just wrote me
this morning being like John wants to have you on.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We're not gonna harp on this day.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Because I'm sure you don't want to you don't want
to get go too far into this. But Nicky is
continued to be the toast of the town.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Through this whole week.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Like I'm sure you guys, because everybody knows you guys
are very close to Nicki as well. I'm sure people
are texting you about how great Nicky was.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I getting one single text I texted Brian, She's overrated.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
I'm still getting things like pouring in being like I
just saw the roast. Nikki was the best.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's to the point where if you didn't text me
and you're like a friend of like, it's weird. It's
like nothing like that. There's no birth you can skip
my birthdays. People can forget my birthdays. They can forget
me getting if I get have a baby, if I
get married, if I have a special come out, like
I don't care having a baby, right, no, no, not
like I wouldn't do it now because the only reason
(09:49):
I do it. Yeah, right, that was a good joke.
Was that was a great joke that I have the
I have the face of Tiffany Trump and the reproductive
system of Baron or something something like that and the
tits of Trump the tag we wrote for it andrewed it.
But I now I really the only appeal to having
a baby, what part of the peal would be, like
(10:10):
this new identity you get to have, like I'm a mom,
like look like and and I do think some moms
do that, Like it's an identity of like I need
a thing going on and I maybe there's a world
in which that would have been interesting to me at
some point down the line. No interest. Now I've I've
summited Everest. I'm not gonna climb Killimajara. You know what
(10:31):
I mean, Like, I don't why would you? I would never,
It's not even a consideration.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Your new identity now has being on every single show
in podcast in America.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah, that's just I've never been so beloved, Like, let
me just say this, I've never I've never had a
moment where everyone's just like happy for me, they like
me the la times, the the headline was well done, Mickey.
I've never had any kind.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Of like, like am I like make a wish kind
of thing?
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, hey, the best he's were in on this early
all you best? He totally I've always thought that love
Mackey for Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But I do feel like it's like that that article
today and the other times, I'm like, I do feel
like I won the Super Bowl. I'm going to like
the parade, like it kind of feels like that kind
of vibe in the air, and I'll it's gonna get
annoying of me talking about it at some point, but
I just I can't. I wish everyone could experience the
love that I'm feeling from people.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
You're being called the MVP, yeah, which is kind of
amazing because like that's a big deal in sports.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
That's the main deal.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
It's the biggest deal. And I didn't know it was
the biggest deal until I was talking to you about Hey,
I'm going to rank Tom Brady's achievements here, all of them,
and you go, well, MVPs first, and I go, really,
being the MVP of the super Bowl would be the first,
and You're like, yeah, this's be it's up there. I'm like,
I would just think that's like, that's fine, that's good,
But I'm winning the super Bowl.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
He's a big team guy. I think you probably down
if you asked him, maybe if you if you went
into his heart and really found the truth, MVP would
be number one. Yeah, but winning the.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Super Bowl, it is, well, MVP of the super Bowl
already employed, you've won the super Bowl is the same guy.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
But like all team people, I think at their core
are like they want like Tom Brady wants to be
Tom Brady of course, but he is a generous person.
But I think at your core you want to be
the center of it. I don't know, speaking as Tom Brady,
we wouldn't know anything about it.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
This much crazy it could get to the point where
it starts to feel sarcastic, like can you just read
well done Nikki Glazer and like italics.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, that's what's been kind of the response. Like I've
never been someone people have been like you're great and
you work hard and like all these things, and I've
agreed with it. I've never thought I've deserved anything more
than that. I've never been like when is my day
gonna come? Ever? I really haven't, but it has arrived
where I am like the bell of the ball and
cool people, the cool comedy people like me, oh yeah,
(12:51):
and are welcome, like come hang with us. We do
arenas and you are going to do those.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Soon too, Like give you a shout out on flagrant.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
It's nice.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's nice to be Tim Welke. Tim Dillon welcomed me
to the top tier. He did didn't welcome me, but
it felt like he's up there and he's like he
gave me a hand and like pulled me up and
he just said, you're on the top tier now. It's
it's a long time, like it was just a little
but he acknowledged it. And it's like it does feel
like I just got that like seven timers jacket arsenal
(13:22):
or something.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Maybe you'll get the the farm now.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I want to get in these pedophile rings. Is that
in coming?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah a little yeah, Baily.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
My friend's husband is a billionaire and he just got
back from Necker Island.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Oh yeah, and I go, tell us, what.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Isn't that the place where I've heard of this island?
It's where like he was there with Richard Branson and.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yes, yes it is the island.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, it's not good to own an island.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
You shouldn't after Epstein, don't we all think that island
an island no more?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Really?
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
See that's shady.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Well, yeah, you feel like island today?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Really?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Well that there's no, nothing weird there.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Only mister Beast has an island.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I bet they're like buying remember when everyone's buying stars. Yeah,
I bet they're like that. Like there's just little dots
everywhere that you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, and there's a limited number.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
And with the polar ice caps smelting, the rising, less islands.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Less islands, red skins. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Also with the income inequality, just more people can afford
to buy an island and less people can afford to
live on that island that they're going to buy.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, who is going to run the island? Who's going
to change your sheets? Who's going to iron your sheets?
That's what rich people do. They have people iron their sheets.
That's something that I only had one time when I
was on the yacht and it felt totally stupid to
me to do. But I saw these women ironing sheets
on a yacht Like it's just But I can't wait
to be a part of that now. And that's where
my life is. So we'll come back to the show,
(14:59):
but I am to be different. So we're gonna go
on a break, but I'm getting even gonna change in
the next five minutes. After these commercials, So stay with us.
We'll be back into this. We're what are the last night?
What did we do? We went to dinner with Rachel.
(15:21):
Rachel finesein and I went to dinner at Nobu and
we show up and we're both wearing the same blazer
that we both got from a Cynthia Rally show that
we did. She had like comedians on this New York
Fashion Week show a couple of years ago, and they like,
let us go to their showroom and pick out stuff,
and Rachel and I both picked out like this oversized
pitt and stripe blazer. And last night we showed up
(15:41):
at dinner and this was like a year and a
half ago, two years ago that we did this, and
we both were wearing the same blazer, and it felt
I've never felt more. We were so happy to be
wearing the same thing. That's a really magical moment in
a girl's life. To best friends who would don't see
each other. We only see each other five times a year.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I was I was so happy that you guys went
to dinner. I was really jealous because I always said,
if I could you know when the people are like
if you go to dinner with five people. Who would
the five people be? And I would be like, I
want five Rachel Feinstein's.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, well she there was. It was so fun. And
then Andrew joined us about forty five minutes and dropped
in and yeah, I was She's so fucking funny.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Yeah, she's the best.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
She really is, and she's nice and she could like.
I was like, Rachel, I really want to talk to
you about like like I want to go deep with you,
like I want to like I want to talk about everything.
I go, can you are you cool with Andrew Cumming?
Like can you get talk like that? And she's like, yeah,
I don't care, like she just she'll I like that.
She I like when people are like if I vouch
for someone, well she already knows you. But if I
vouch for someone like their a vault, you can be
(16:39):
honest with them. They'll be just as honest about their
life that they trust me and go, yeah, he can
hear about my marriage or my kids, or my insecurities
about like whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
And she has a special coming out on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah Maye's money first called big Guy. Big Guy one
of my favorite comedians of all time. Watch our specials
support female comedy. It's not even female comedy. It's like
the best comment. She's so fucking funny. But yeah, big
guy on Netflix. I can't wait for even the trailer
to come out. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
But yeah, we had a Netflix has amazing trailers too.
I feel like sometimes the trailers are better than the
show really often.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yeah, because I asked her, I go watch, let me
see your trailer, shees. I don't think they do trailers.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Well, they do it on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, Oh okay, I think they just do clips and
I go, you have a trailer.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Well, I don't know how the No, I don't know
how the stand up specials go. But for regular shows,
they'll do a trailer about a week a month before,
a week before. Yeah, and they're almost half the time
they're better than the show. Like, the trailers are so
good if I just watch I used to go to
the gym and like on the screen there there was
a trailer channel. Sometimes you can just watch movie trailers
while running. And if I could just watch Netflix trailers,
(17:45):
I could do a full workout.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Wow are they so? They're different than like movie trailers?
You feel like that you would see it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
They're similar, they're similar, but it just pumps you up
for the show, and the show could never live up
to the.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Two because it's like highlights and set to a song. Yeah,
Like all the cuts are hitting, like when the beat
kicks it like it's.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
There's some like non sequiturs where you're like, you know,
you're just doing kind of funny things and you're it
kind of draws you and you're like, what is she
doing here?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yes, what's this?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Directors and a lot of I've gotten a lot of
compliments on the trailer actually, people from people who like
know what they're talking about. I was like, oh, that's
so nice. But yeah, I mean I've uh one time,
I've I've talked about a million times. But my favorite
movie is the Social Network trailer. Yeah, it's the it's
it's the greatest.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Oh no, no, no, it was.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
It's not that it's I'm a creep.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Then and it's like boys choir, Yes, and it's scorse trailer.
Oh so good, And David Fincher was like, Hey, who
can direct the trailer to my movie?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
It's Oh my god. It's like a music and it's
weird that music videos aren't really getting like their short
form like why why are they dead?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Because there's nowhere to put them.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
It's just on on videos YouTube, but there's tons of
places music video.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
There's nowhere to put video content anymore.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
There's where there's nowhere not to put video content. It
can be anything.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I feel like music is TikTok is just trailers for songs.
Oh really?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, you're getting like tell me like what's going on there?
And like what do you spend your like what's your algorithm?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I have golf, I have random people getting knocked out.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
On crime faces.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Is there a genre of girls with amazing asses going up.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
To drive, like going up to drive? Yeah there are.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, they're always like these fit girls that like you
just look at.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Their still camera from behind while they're swinging and it's
really look at my swing, but it's really look at
my ass.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yes, it couldn't be more clear to look at their
like it's just so I'm almost swing.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Isn't that good?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Well they don't even have a club in there?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
What and so what out? Like what what are you?
Speaker 3 (20:03):
There's some musicians that you wantn't know that I know
are gonna blow up. Jake Jill and maybe oh yeah,
Benson Boone.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
This Benson Boone, so you know Benson Benson Boons. When
the song goes viral and it becomes trending on TikTok,
then that song becomes a number one song on Spotify.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
But people only will know, Like these artists are saying
that they'll go and they'll play the show, and everyone
shows up and they just sing the one fifteen second
part of the song that's from the TikTok.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, that could happen.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
The song, Yeah, they just repeat it seven times.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Sometimes a good thing is sometimes it digs into the
past and resurrects a song that we all loved, Like
it happened to Billy Joel with a couple of his songs.
And there was that song that just that just got
played that was actually played at the Tom Brady Roast
after party. It would never have been played if it
did not trend on TikTok. It's I forgot the guy's name,
but it's a you want to know where I've been,
(20:56):
I've been trying to I can't sing.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
So yeah, yeah, okay, so yeah that no, oh I
don't think.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, I know it's a white guy that everyone used
to think was black because his voice sounded so much
like a soul singer.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I have a song that is out now on Spotify
and iTunes or whatever songs. It's coming out tonight, I
think as we're shooting this, but like it's out now
when people are listening to this. It's called Someday You'll Die.
It's on Spotify. Besties know about it. They've heard about
it since the inception of it. They've been awaiting it.
There's no bestie listening right now to the podcast who
hasn't heard the song already, even you know, I play
(21:35):
it during my lives, so they're well aware. So tell
your friends, put it on your playlist, share it with people.
Tim this morning, Tim Convey, your brother who wrote the
song with me and helped produce or it did produce.
He sent me a lyric video that was made, but
it's using all It's really cool that they did it,
but it's using all like stock footage for every line.
(21:57):
So it's like I get a text from my best
friend and it's like a girl in bed getting a
text and then it's like but I can't get out
of bed, and she like can't get out of bed
and it's like it's all stocks like see and say yes,
and it just it feels like I was like, can
we just say this was made by chat GBT, Like
I don't want to say that I paid anyone to
do this because it's not good. It's not like there's
(22:17):
nothing artistic about but I appreciate that it was made.
But then there's also like he goes, what ideas do
you have for a lyric video? Can we still just
use the lyrics and maybe just put up a picture?
But the like the fonts or even like live Laugh
Love a little bit, like they try to do funny
things with the fonts, and I'm like it was a
nice effort and I appreciate it, but I don't and
I don't know the answer to what a lyric video
should be. But my idea I think I'm gonna shoot
today is just me writing it wow, and then we
(22:40):
just because I like watching people write with like a
cool marker.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Like this is just satisfied you like walking through a fielding.
I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I would do a still shot of me walking down
sunset singing the whole entire thing without without stopping. That's
a good idea, just something like that.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I mean, that's how the to go to Hollywood Forever
Cemetery and walk through.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
That because some day you'll die.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yeh okay, they were on something.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Forrest Lawn. I went to Forest Lawn Cemetery. Ye, it
was like the most depressing thing I've ever Why listen
to this? This is so bad, so I can't. I
shouldn't even tell this, it's too bad. I down to
like whatever, So okay, I'll tell you. It was right
before Easter, and I kind of like cemetery. So I
was walking through and like I think, like anyway, walking through,
(23:28):
and I'm just like looking at at different like gravestones,
and they were decorated for Easter. So anything that was
decorated for Easter. I was like, Oh, these people, there's
something current about this, and I would be kind of curious,
so I'd go along and I saw a gravestone of
a kid that was has been dead for forty years
and it was decorated with all of So somebody who's
been coming for forty years and decorating the gravestone and
(23:51):
the kid was only alive for six days.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
WHOA?
Speaker 4 (23:55):
So that person was going there at least every Easter
and putting like children decorations.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
It was like yeah, it was like touching.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, like absolutely, God's also the day that Jesus came
back to life, right, yeah, but you maybe it'll work.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah, you had to like do a double take reading that.
It just probably it just s had like May eleven
through May seventeen.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Yeah, it was like August like nineteen eighty two to
like August sixth, nineteen eighty. Yeah, it's like August eleventh,
nineteen eighty two.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
And you're like, oh my god, well I've been doing
this joke on stage.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah, more in six days than you did in six minutes.
You know, it was close. It's closed. I don't know.
I wonder when for longer. Yeah, I wonder what I did. Yeah,
well done, kid, well done, kiddy flowers.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But uh no, I di I do this joke about
how people think their kid's gonna like we like, no
one really needs your kids, stop having them, and we
we get it. You think your kid's gonna cure cancer,
but it's more likely your kids will get cancer. And
I and I go and and that always doesn't do
well because people picture kids with cancer and that's sad.
But it is actually more like that your kid, as
(25:00):
a kid, will get cancer. It's just statistics. Then cure cancer.
It's one hundred percent, it's infinitely, infinitely more likely. That's
just true, but it is offensive and it makes people sad.
So now I go, it's more likely that you're your
kid's not got to cure cancer. It's probably gonna get
cancer at some point in its lifetime when it is
an old person. And then I go, because that's more
palatable than saying it they're getting cancer as a kid,
(25:21):
isn't it. And then that now gets a laugh because
I'm calling out like for some reason, both are true
and both are sad, but like it's just so much
like I find them very special. Uh No, that joke
isn't in Special, but the version I'm telling now will
probably be in the next special because now it's working
because I'm addressing the thing that is uncomfortable about it
and now making a joke out of that.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
It's crazy because you're special. You had like an hour
and forty five minutes a material going in and so
much of it got cut.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah it was it was too too much to take.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, too much things.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
But the next special I'm approaching at Rose style six
minutes at a time.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Oh oh wow, on it all trailers. I love that trailers.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Love it being gay or Settleman and sorry, oh that's
a guy I went to high school. I have got
a lot of Edelmans in my wife, and you're they're
all gay, very common name, I think. Actually Alex Edelman
is bisexual.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
So he came out for his special yes special back.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Netflix wouldn't give him on unless he was interesting.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Do you think if you get kid cancer, though, and
you die, you get you're more like people will show
up for forty years? Would you rather have that? Or
die of cancer and an old age and and people show.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Up for me.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I don't care because I'm dead, so I'd like to
live longer.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah, living longer is better.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, that'd be really sad if you just had to
wait by your grave after you died, all the time
waiting for people to come by, Like you're just sitting
there being like I hope someone stops by.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I've never been to my grandparents grave. I don't think
you should go.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
It actually feels nice to do it.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
I love going. I don't know where it is. Yeah, actually,
my one Grandpa got buried in a cemetery and apparently
they just put more bodies. They stack them, they stacked
them up, and we didn't.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Like, it's no ways spooning somebody forever.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Yeah that's crazy, Well not really, I mean the their
body biodegrades after like you know, eight years. Well they're bones,
and that the bones are bones last longer longer.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, sometimes there's mummified things like you see bones of
like the bones like people are sacrificed and they put
them in like a crazy like they're two people cradling
each other. I want to be buried like in a
fetal like that would be cool to like my bones
are like so they think something I was like bludgeoned
to death by someone, even though so in my casket
I'm like crumpled so that when aliens discover me, they go,
(27:51):
what happened on this bitch?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yeah? I like that.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
I want to be like blowing myself down on myself.
Yeah yeah, finally I.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Could, because all of your muscle isn't stopping you, Like
what's stopping you from I guess your spine or is
it your fascia enough?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I mean, when it really comes down to its long enough.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Yeah, I just can't someone who was able to touch
their mouth to it. There was some person I remember that.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Was like, well, there was like a rumor going around.
I forgot who it was where someone got a rib removed.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Who was We had a joke about it the other
day because I was going to talk about how Kim
Kardashian like took quite a beating that night. But then
the next night she was at the met Gallon. She
was wearing a corset that was so painful looking. I
mean literally, her waist was the size of her neck.
It was no difference that small, And we were talking
about like she had a rib removed like Marilyn Manson.
She either wanted to fit in the dress or she
wanted to suck Marilyn Manson's.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Rib.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
It kind of makes sense because then they could like
bond over it, you know, But she would.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Never because he's so white. Was our like, he's the
whitest white makeup. Oh that's true.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Yeah, I don't know. He Yeah, he doesn't go full.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But there are cemeteries all across this world that are
just like forgotten. Like you think there's some permanence in
being buried in a cemetery, and there's like cemeteries from
the Civil War that are just covered up by a
mall or just unmarked graves everywhere. Like you really can't
step on a place on Earth where someone has it
been laid to rest.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Right, I mean it makes sense. There's so many more
dead people than they are alive people.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Well, how do you like, Okay, when when it's all
over for Brian, what do you want to happen to
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Remains frozen and then resurrected technology.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, we don't talk about Brian's death. It's it's not
a thing that happens now.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
My dad, though we've talked about this, he's interested in
a haunted forest. These are trees that have a little
sack underneath of them where you can put the body
in the sack so that it helps a tree grow,
and then the tree is the thing you go see
and not the gravestone. And in a bunch of trees
like this, it's they call it a haunted forest.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Oh god, it's so gross to think of like a
crumpled body like in a.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Saxon your energy or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You're Yeah, I don't mind being thrown into the ground.
Just no casket. Like the worms get you quicker and
you become part of the earth. I like that better
than being like it's going to take billions of millennia
to go through the wood and the shellac on the
wood and then the like.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I won't take billions of millennial you'll you'll biodegrade inside
that coffin.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I don't care what the fuck happens. I literally, I've
talked about this before. If you are someone who wants
to fuck dead people, I'll give my body to neck feelix.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
I don't care if you.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Don't care, Hey, what would be the difference?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
It doesn't I was gonna say the smell, but I
don't even know about that.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
When it happened, I think I might be wetter.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Involving fluid might be.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
To be your biggest special ever.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Oh my god, that's so funny. A plus plus clip it,
clip it, that's clipped. You're getting clipped, brother.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Clip But what do you want?
Speaker 4 (31:16):
What do you want to happen to your bod strapped
to a chair donated to the military and shot at.
Just give it to science. Science, Just do whatever science
wants to do. If it can, like help a kid
learn how to do surgery or it doesn't. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, you can't choose that when you donate it to science,
you don't know where it's going to go. You might
wind up getting strapped to a thing and shot with
a missile.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
But like I said, I don't care. Yeah, it's like
whatever is useful.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
They might study nacrophilia.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
I would like to be useful.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
They might do a study with people want to corpses,
and that might be science.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Couldn't care less.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah, I don't care either.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
That'll be used.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
But you know what I do, even though I feel
that way, Like in movies where people have to like
like recover the body from like a war field, I
always find that very moving.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Sure, yeah, and you know what, second thought on this,
I do like the idea of a ashes spreading thing,
Like I think that's very beautiful and I think that
I would want that gift for my family and friends
to like have a closure moment like that. And there's
just something about being lowered into the ground that is
so sad and being kept Like I would like a
(32:30):
place for them to go to like remember me and
visit because I think that is important, like a gravestone.
And maybe put a little bit of the ashes in that,
but then the rest of the ashes. I don't know
where you'd scatter it over the fucking Kia forum. I'll
tell you that.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Okay, where would you Where would you want ashes? Right now?
Because you, let's say you could do it like a
few places about Taylor.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Swiths, Rhode Island beach House. Now, I would say, probably. God,
that's such a good question right now. Maybe like my
childhood home, like the like Cincinnati front Cincinnati, like the
little like in like the little wooded area on the side.
I think it's not even there, but like in the
front yard where I used to run around as a
(33:10):
little girl. Like I think that's I'm almost getting choked
up thinking about it, Like that's like a that seems nice,
even though I haven't been back there since I was six. Yeah,
what about it? Seems I don't know where were scattering them.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
About?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
You? What are you doing up there?
Speaker 3 (33:24):
You can put my ashes, I think, inside a dildo
and give it to Burno, give her its not the plan. Yeah,
finally I can have a red penis something like special
to me. I here up almost thinking about about it.
It's crazy, what money you got? Everything like your childhood home. Yeah.
(33:45):
Remember I used to run around. I don't it was
a child. Yeah, I don't want to be when we met.
Cut that, clip it. I mean, I don't know. Clip it,
cut it out, burn it, run it around. I'm dead autism.
(34:07):
I think I have it. I yeah, I don't know.
I I get scared about cremation. I don't. For some reason,
I still think I could feel it. Yeah, I'm crazier.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
You should be scared about getting lowered into the ground too.
Then it's really cold.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
I had to do that for my grandpa. Actually I
was never You did go one time just to dig
it years before he died. Get up kill his watch.
That was a present that I stole from my aunt.
She doesn't know she's deaf, so she really is like
(34:40):
clip it, clip it.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Don't do captions.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Captions if anything, turn it down a little. You never know,
so I.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Might just started hearing if it's loud enough.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
You really do know. She got a lot of money.
You know, she gets a lot of money. You never know. Science.
I had to shovel in the Jewish religion. You have
to literally put the dirt.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Oh yeah, everyone takes all.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
That was intense. Yeah, you know, just like hearing it
hit the cast.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
We all got to we send in the line and
each got to do a thing.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Oh really, it was cool.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
It's a nice tradition.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, you guys got some good ones.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
And then you also like let people you have like
what's the morning? Yeah, the morning, Yeah, that's really that's
nice too.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Brings you food for a week.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
It's like the paid leave for a postpartum, paid leave
of like of death. I feel like where it's like
we take a little bit more time to I don't
know why it's I'm comparing it to that, but some
people like to give you no time. They're just like,
come back to work.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Because child is a huge death, death to your body.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yes, yes, I do think that sometimes all the time,
but some people want it.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
It was funny my grandpa got buried and then my
grandma died like eight years late and got buried next
to him, and I could just imagine him being so pissed,
Oh my god that day, like he's like, you know,
I'm banging Hooters girls in heaven and now Grandma, Yeah,
I'm home movin.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Louis has a bit about that. I'm like, why are
he has good We've touched on a couple of things,
and I'm like, Louis.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Has that bit too, Like always got the bit about
getting sucked as a body.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Yeah, like.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
A medical student just gets an They just put an
f on you and just slide you down a shoe.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, Grandma, they put an F plus on it. And
then there's the fucking the dead body. He's like, I
want my body to be like the Willy Wonka, like
someone comes out and you can come on my back
and pretend I am your father.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Yes that no one would know that song. And until
TikTok brought it back.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Yeah, well Timothy Shalloman brought it back.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Watch that chocolate. I don't have to get it. It's
not good. Literally, I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
I felt the joke bubbling in you and I had
to get it, Like I literally felt it physically, the
joke in your stern them. That's so funny. I my
grandma actually went so my grandpa died probably ten years
before she did, and you know, for the first five years,
it was like, I can't wait to see Grandpa like
(37:19):
my husband again. And then she started getting dogs, like
she got senior dogs. They would just give her dogs
and then they would die and she would and then
at the end of her life, she was like, I
can't wait to see my dogs, and I would be
I literally was like, what about Grandpa And she was like,
I'm good, Like I had a really good time with
him while he was here, Like she was like he
was kind of an asshole, like kind of grumpy. She
(37:40):
was constantly like catering to him, and it was like,
it's a different It was a marriage of the forties,
so like that's what it was.
Speaker 4 (37:46):
So she was like, no, I don't really want to
have like one hundred kids together.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
They had so many, ten kids and five miscarriages. Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Julie,
tom Or, Peggy, Chucky, Bobbys, Patty, Sally, Mom and Dad.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Wow, I did it, Peggy, Yeah, your grandpa. It sounds
like they all died like many years apart. It sounds
like they never even loved each other, because we all
know that if they love each other, they die within minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Oh yes, that's exact same sign. Okay, we're gonna go
to break and come back with more after that. All right,
we're back in the final stages of the show. I
don't know, Yeah, it did quick. I gotta go do
three more podcasts today. I'm doing a comedy Bang bang.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
This is wild.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
You're doing a tour of the world here. I can't imagine.
This week is so packed. You you usually when you
come to l A, you pack it with podcasts. You
try to make it was already packed. Already it was packed,
and now you're adding all this other It's like every
five minutes, it's a new podcast you have to go to.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Yes, I got booked on Seth Myers, which was last week.
I'm doing that next week. And then the John Mlaney
thing just came through. But that's John mulaney show is
going to be. There's no preparation for it. I don't
have to have a bit prepared. You just go out
and you just laugh. Sure, and that's that's the joy.
Speaker 4 (38:54):
I mean, you're gonna be so good on it too,
because I love the show.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
So it's nice to be a fan of a show
you're going into. I want to watch Last Nights. But yeah,
I saw Nate Pargazzi the other night and he was like,
I just got done with them on anything. He's like,
you know, you just go out there. You just don't
even know what's gonna happen. There's really nothing you can do.
And it was just like it was like, Okay, that's
just what I need to hear. Is like I was
when he was saying that, I was like, oh, now
I want to do it because it's.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Just those situations.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Yes, I love no prep. Yes, I like no reviewing
what we're gonna go over, not having to hit our marks.
Oh and then it's done. I love that he said
on his first show, like the show is never gonna
find its groove.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
Yes, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Because that's it's such an insider term too.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
That happens with all these TV shows like you're like,
you know, Jimmy, TV.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Shows like like Nicky and Sarah Right, yeah, not safe.
They never felt they weren't allowed to last long enough
to find what they are.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Like even you watch early Conan's and it took them
a little while to find their groove. And when they.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Couldn't believe it lasted, Oh my god. That I really
recommend watching or listening to. Obviously, I recommended Hot Ones Conan,
which was amazing, one of the best pieces of comedy ever.
And then they had that he has on Doctor Arroyo,
his doctor from Hot Ones on for a segment on
his podcast, and it's on YouTube. Just type in doctor Arroyo.
(40:12):
It is so it's so funny. It's just like the
comments underneath, which you know, comments helped me determine how
I feel about it, are like this is a twenty
minute masterclass in improv.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
It's just it's really really hot Ones.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
It was so subtle, just like the subtle.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I was tricked. At the beginning. I was like, this
is this is it's a real doctor because he was
so not purposely funny seeming that I was like, maybe
this is a real guy who just doesn't know what
to say. Yeah, And obviously by the end of it.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
On the interview, he goes, you know, we just have
to talk about some of your practices that you established
during the hot Ones episode. People have questions, you know,
when you took my pulse, you seem to be choking
my neck, and he goes, I thought you wanted me
to actually take your pulse away.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Nikki was like, you know what you like, we were
like going sleep and I was like, oh, Nicky's probably
asleep by now, and then she just kept laughing and
for like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I never do that, Like, I'm never like cracking up
the things I'm listening to as I'm going to bed,
but I couldn't. I was like gasping. There's one where
he goes, and then when you were checking you had
me stick on my tongue at one point and checked
my like tongue with the with the heart monitor, and
he said, yeah, well that's how we did it. I
needed to hear if there was any screaming going on,
(41:27):
like you're talking about that. He goes and it was dead.
Your tongue was dead, so it was good. And he goes, well,
usually one would put that device on my chest to
hear my heartbeat, and he just goes, ough.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
That just at the idea of a heart Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah. It's just these subtle things that you're like, where
are you even going up?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
And that was so funny.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
It's really there's so many more moments that are just
so great to listen to. But what do you guys got.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
You're so sick of talking to yourself?
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Now?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I am a little bit, but it is it is Uh,
it's a good it's it is a good week to
be me.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Yeah, Glazier, No, I thought you're gonna go third person.
You might get there the end of this week. You're
gonna be like Nikki feeling all right. Nik I thought.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Nikki's gotta finish up the show. Yeah, no, I don't
think I'll get to that. I uh, it does feel
good though, to you know. Kim Kardashian DMed me yesterday
what it feels like.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
The lottery for like every morning you're like, what is gonna?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I know?
Speaker 1 (42:31):
What did Kim say? Kim was so nice and wrote,
I mean I could read our conversation verbatim.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
I think I will, But aren't you not supposed to
do that?
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
But I just feel like, yeah, I won't. I won't.
I did it last night on stage, but it wasn't
like a taping. But because she didn't say anything that
would be ever weird, like.
Speaker 4 (42:50):
You just said how amazing you weren't have funny.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Like if she would get offended by Like I was
thinking about this, I was like, maybe I shouldn't have
done that, and I go, well, if if she would
get offended by me reading that, like she's got to
know that if she said something to me, I would
not do that with something that was not good. You
know like she I hope she trusts me that I'm
not just reading this because she sent me something. It's
like I discerned that it was something that is readable,
But I do I knew that. I know that there
is a part of her that's probably like this pitche'll
(43:14):
just read anything I send her, which I would not do, Kim,
if you ever hear this.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
But yeah, I remember she wrote like Kanye had p
Diddy Yes, right, and now when she wrote something like
that something like that, I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
She just said great job, which she had. I mean,
she had to like write a Nikki like she had
to type it in like I'm thinking about like her
like beautiful nails, clicking on it like typing Nikki, Oh
is it two k's or one? Like yeah, and then
she had to go to it and then she had
to go to like mess like it's like a lot
of things that I was just like, oh. And then
she just wrote me a really nice message saying congrats.
(43:48):
And then I was like no you Yeah, I said,
I was trying to make eye contact with you the
whole damn show because I wanted to tell you you
fucking killed and you like you were just so impressive,
and I said, which was no surprise because of how
elite your SNL monologue was, but you really killed it.
And and she was like, I don't know how you
(44:08):
do that. It's like it's it's low key abuse or
something like. She was like, it's abuse, and I go,
you do know how I did it, because you did it.
I go, you did it too, and you did it
so well. And then she was like she hearted that,
and I just wrote like she said something else, and
I said, we are brave exclamation mark, and she hearted it.
So that was the end of it, right, But like, yeah,
but ironically, the ironic thing is is that so many
(44:33):
times people call that family not talented, like why are
they famous? And I didn't even think about that kind
of notion about them, even though I literally read jokes
about Kim that were pitched to me this week to
maybe do that we're like addressing that they don't have talent,
And I literally wrote in that like you are so talented,
because that was talented to be able to. First of all,
whatever happened at the beginning, which by the way, the
(44:53):
boo I met someone who knows who started it, and
they were starting it as a joke. Wow, and it
caught five or like it just like it was a
gasoline over the crowd and a little bit of boot
and because they were just ready to boot, like it
could have been anyone that wasn't that is like associated
with that kind of part of our pop culture.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Sure well, they were booing like football teams and stuff
too that were anti Patriots.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
I thought it might be a swift rio.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
I booed Tom because he said fuck the cults. I
booed him. I was the only one booish, sure.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Like that was the kind of night it was. It
was boo heavy, but like she got fucked on that
boo And it was some comedian, some asshole comedian that
did it as a joke and didn't expect her to
catch on and it wasn't because I thought it was
a swifty thing. Like I was like disappointed on behalf
of Swifties for like, if that's what this is about.
But I think it was just got out of hand.
It was just people being jealous obviously of her fame
(45:43):
and her power and all the like. That was what
it was. But for her to like not address it
but kind of like look like a little disappointed like that.
She just handled it so well, and then she sat
there the rest of the fucking show. She went up
like almost right after me. I think there was one
after me, and then she went up. That's a long
She sat there for two hours whenever. A lot of
people that made appearances in the crowd left after their appearances.
(46:04):
They didn't want to say the whole show because they
had other shit to do. Kim Kardashian definitely has other
shit to do. She had to go to the Metcala
the next day. She probably flew the Red Eye, but
she sat there and waited for Tom Brady's set, and
I thought that was really cool of her.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
You can think what you want about Kim, but in
order to get that famous, you need to have talent.
You can't get that famous. There's a lot of hot,
rich girls who are not as famous as Kim Kardashian,
and it's because they don't have the talent that she does.
It's just impossible to do.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
And just because the talent doesn't look like singing or
dancing or acting or whatever you think it does like
it is about sustaining a public image, captivating It takes
hard work to look.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
At interesting is a talent being, Yes, doing things like
just not making mistakes at public appearances and you know,
planning and your whole public image. Her whole job is
to cultivate a public image. Yes, and that's a talent
and that.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Comes from her. Yes, she might hire people to help
her with her image, but she's hiring those people. She
she's the taste maker at the top. So I will
never I'll always be in her like no, I mean
that the body is insane, and that asked that, But
what's your public image?
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Mine? Guy to eats chicken salad with his hands, and.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
With that we have to go.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Cultivated.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Much that happened before, I would hope.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
So my story, ever was when one day I got
us tie food. We were our hotel room. We only
had one hotel room. The other one wasn't clean yet,
so we were just hanging in the hotel room before
night of shows. The ty food arrives. There's no utensils.
I go down to go get some and I come
back up and he is using the ice tongs, which.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Yeah, no, yeah, but it was just.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
But I always uses the coffee. I use them a
shop six and that really does work. But that was
the next level and I loved it. But yeah, hands,
I've seen a lot.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
Yeah tongs is a strong move because they're on there.
I don't know. I guess they use them with ice.
The huh tom Brady, Tom Brady.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
That's what we're calling.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
You gotta go.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Don't be killing you guys. Check me out. I'm gonna
be in Vegas this weekend with David's made tons of
tour Nadesnicky Glazer dot com. There's the song. There's a
special spread the word. I love you guys so much,
love you, busties. I'll never get big enough for you.
I promise a lot of besties have been like, please,
don't change, never forget us. I would never. I love you.
Don't be killed, and.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
I would never texting Kim K right now, Yeah, Kik.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
You're my only best I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Okay see
The Nicky Glizer podcastser Hello here, I am welcome to
the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm in Los Angeles.
Uh still, I am joined by three of my favorite
people of all time. Brian Franngie is here. Hey, Brian, Hello, We're.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Gonna we should clap for everybody, just like they do
on the Pat McAfee show. Oh yeah, that's why I'm
wearing all this cold ski.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
That's so fun of you.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
The Pat McAfee.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
It was so fun. We'll talk about it because it
came out of nowhere, and it only came out because
I reached out to you guys. And then Chris convis here,
welcome back. Yeah, Chris conby everyone, and really that's a good.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Fun fun and then christ applause.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah it does feel good. And then Andrew Colin. Everyone
back to the show. Andrew Colin, welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Back, good to be back. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yeah. So I reached out to you guys because I
was like, I forget who said it to me, But oh,
I was at a podcast yesterday. We're here to help.
Maybe it was them. I forget who I apologized whoever
told me like you need to like go hard in
the sports world. What do all the sports shows? I
think it was Joe Jack Johnson, not Jack Johnson. What's
(01:21):
his name over there, Jake Johnson. So sorry, Jake. I
love you so much. I've never loved anyone more than
Jake Johnson. I've been talking about him all like, I
can't get over how great he is. But he was like,
you need to spin this into something bigger, like you
got to capitalize on this, get the word out on
all the sports shows. So I texted all of you
being like, what are the shows I should do? And
Pat McAfee show is the one? Number one you guys
(01:42):
each all of you said number one.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I knew those guys would love you.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, I mean it was.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It was so much fun and I just did it
and they had me on. You always know it's a
good segment when they have you planned before they go.
It'll be a fifteen minute segment and then you're looking
and it's like, oh, it's.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Been thirty five thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I was sitting outside this building just like, uh, just
watching it on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, it was really fun and and then you buzzed
in and that's the end of the story that I
have nothing more to say that you got in the building.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Walk up the stairs two flights.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, nice, you.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Killed it, man, Yeah, you killed it on that.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
But you guys all helped me. I mean, I was
Brian texted me a slew of things that I should
talk about because you were a fan of the show.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
And I mean, I love Pat McAfee, I love the cults.
I love Pat McAfee. I'm so proud that Pat McAfee
is like the number one sports analysts in the world
and he was a cult.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh he's so I mean, I just had that conversation
with him, and he was so fun and easy to
talk to.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You were amazing on it. It was perfect. You set
the perfect tone. You told a bunch of jokes. They
were laughing, and it's perfect for that show, like they
have a bunch of you know, hockey analysts. And then
general manager. You you followed a general manager who also
was a fan of yours by the way, yeah wow,
and the general of the same.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Team, the Bucks. Well, I gotta go down Florida.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Maybe that's my team too. I got to pick a
team so that that and then Andrew this morning was
texting me a ton of jokes. We were like, maybe
gonna roast Pat a little bit. Yeah, you had some
funny ones. I don't even want to say him because
I feel like I love Pat so much, I know,
and he did not ask for it, so we'll we'll
leave those out of there. But we had some really
good joke.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
He did not seem like he wanted to be roasting no,
and you know what, like some.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
People, I'm the same way, don't fucking ever. Anya still
talks about a day on tour like years ago where
she was roasting you, I guess Andrew, and she goes
and Andrew's like, I'll come back at you, and she
was like, come back at me, Let's see what you got.
And Andrew said something that like she can't I'm not
even gonna say what it was because she can't stop
seeing it. And it's like literally affected herself esteem for
(03:51):
the rest of her life.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yes, I wrote it before.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Every time Andrew sees somebody, he's like, well, if I
have to roast somebody, it's.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Because I was like the small little Jewish kid on
the bus that was always picked on, so I had
to It was so easy to just be like jew
you know, and then I couldn't. I didn't have anything,
like I had to like be creative, right, right, you can.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Make fun of you for being Jewish, but then for
all the Protestants and stuff, you have to come up
with something about their personality.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Exactly, do Bryant?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
My favorite, my favorite joke about being as a Jewish
person was Amy Schumer saying that they used to throw
pennies at her and call her, you know, jew and
throw pennies and then she'd go like what like screws McDuck,
like yes, like that is such a funny, but but yeah,
it's it's it's horrible to be roasted. I don't think anyone.
(04:42):
I would never I don't want it outside of that
kind of arena. Literally, I I don't. I would never
want it. I don't want to know anything about myself
that anyone thinks is negative. It's it's when anyone starts
a sentence like can I be honest with you? Or
like hey, I've been thinking can you sit down, like
can we talk? I don't want because it's that to
me is like there's some criticism coming your way and
(05:04):
I literally can't handle it.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, but I don't mind looks like makes it looks.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Really like because why because you can change it?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
No, I I'm the most self deprecating. I mean, I
think it's hilarious to make fun of looks. I think
when it starts to get like, there's who you are,
who you are and yeah, yeah achievements or work ethic
or my mom didn't love me, you'll never be as
good as your brother. Yes, you're right.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I think looks for me are so much worse. Obviously,
it's just like what you kind of get your worth from,
I guess, but I can get hit in other ways
as well. But it's yeah, it's it's not it's not fun,
and I'm glad I'm out of the woods on that
where it's like the jokes that were made, I'm just
like kind of over already.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, you know you move on.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Yeah, like the one about you being old, Like it's fun.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
It's a good joke though, Yeah, it was so funny.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Struck, Yeah, it was really.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I saw it in the prompter to like right before
he said, you know, he said he's talking about Bill
Belichick dating a young girl and he's like, you, coach,
you need to date someone more your age, Like nicky.
Like the way he delivered it was great too. And
I saw like NICKI coming up and I go, here
it comes. And you even saw his rehearsal set, and
you you were what a what a team player you
(06:22):
are because you had some insider information. You did not
deflate the balls for me because you knew that Gronk
was gonna call me old, but you just said, hey,
I saw Gronk set. He does have a joke about
you that tends to address the fact that your age
is a number, Like you said. You weren't even saying
like old. You were like, your age is a number
that is higher than other numbers, and I was like like,
(06:43):
and I only read it after like, but it was
I like that you like kind of had his back
and were kind of supportive of the roast environment where
I'm not supposed to know anything and you do have to.
I love playing fair. I hate cheating. I will. That's
why it kind of surprised me reading about Tom and
even having Tom and me it that he cheated kind
of or saying no, it wasn't any mission.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Deniability totally because he's that was so funny.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
He could just say you because his joke was like
the investigation that you guys put on to find out
if I had deflated these balls or knew about it?
Was you spent twenty million dollars, pay me to million dollars,
I'll tell you I did it. So he could just
say I was saying I would. I would just lie
and say I did it for twenty million dollars. That
is his deniability, but it's also could be taken as
he admitted it, which was a very I loved that
(07:27):
joke because it told that line of what.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Is he admitting mission?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I think it. I think we all know it was
because we he definitely didn't.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Know Oj Simpsons I did. That's what it was totally.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Also like deflating footballs, really, is that like such a
huge deal?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I guess in the scheme of things it's not. But
if everyone is cheating, I I probably would cheat if
I'm just to be fair with everyone else.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
We all know what they say.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
If wait, hold on, I know it once again. If
you if you're ain't cheating, you're not true.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Ryan basically is that it.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
If you ain't cheating, you ain't try.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
You've heard that, right. Bob Dylan had some line like that,
No he really did Bob Dylan out of line, like.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Fuck the Jets, I think, yeah, yeah, give me said.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Tom Brady killed Anon Hernandez. I think that's what Bob
Dylan said. I remember he was out of his time though. Yeah, yeah,
that was a Bob Dylan lyric of his new B side.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Well, I just found out I'm doing John Mulaney's UH
Live show. I was a fan, like I started out
the weak being like a fan of it, being like, man,
I wish I could do that show and it's so funny,
like it never a million years would I be on
the Pat McAfee show to promote my special Someday You'll
Die that's coming out on Saturday, last Saturday, because you're
hearing this the week after, but this is the week
(08:45):
but we're taping it the week before. And then also
John Mulaney's show, I was not in. John knows of
me were friendly and he's not. There's nothing, no reason
I would not ever be on that show if it
was in a long run. But they're only doing six
episodes and I'm gonna be And they just wrote me
this morning being like John wants to have you on.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We're not gonna harp on this day.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Because I'm sure you don't want to you don't want
to get go too far into this. But Nicky is
continued to be the toast of the town.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Through this whole week.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Like I'm sure you guys, because everybody knows you guys
are very close to Nicki as well. I'm sure people
are texting you about how great Nicky was.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I getting one single text I texted Brian, She's overrated.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
I'm still getting things like pouring in being like I
just saw the roast. Nikki was the best.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's to the point where if you didn't text me
and you're like a friend of like, it's weird. It's
like nothing like that. There's no birth you can skip
my birthdays. People can forget my birthdays. They can forget
me getting if I get have a baby, if I
get married, if I have a special come out, like
I don't care having a baby, right, no, no, not
like I wouldn't do it now because the only reason
(09:49):
I do it. Yeah, right, that was a good joke.
Was that was a great joke that I have the
I have the face of Tiffany Trump and the reproductive
system of Baron or something something like that and the
tits of Trump the tag we wrote for it andrewed it.
But I now I really the only appeal to having
a baby, what part of the peal would be, like
(10:10):
this new identity you get to have, like I'm a mom,
like look like and and I do think some moms
do that, Like it's an identity of like I need
a thing going on and I maybe there's a world
in which that would have been interesting to me at
some point down the line. No interest. Now I've I've
summited Everest. I'm not gonna climb Killimajara. You know what
(10:31):
I mean, Like, I don't why would you? I would never,
It's not even a consideration.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Your new identity now has being on every single show
in podcast in America.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah, that's just I've never been so beloved, Like, let
me just say this, I've never I've never had a
moment where everyone's just like happy for me, they like
me the la times, the the headline was well done, Mickey.
I've never had any kind.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Of like, like am I like make a wish kind
of thing?
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, hey, the best he's were in on this early
all you best? He totally I've always thought that love
Mackey for Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But I do feel like it's like that that article
today and the other times, I'm like, I do feel
like I won the Super Bowl. I'm going to like
the parade, like it kind of feels like that kind
of vibe in the air, and I'll it's gonna get
annoying of me talking about it at some point, but
I just I can't. I wish everyone could experience the
love that I'm feeling from people.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
You're being called the MVP, yeah, which is kind of
amazing because like that's a big deal in sports.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
That's the main deal.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
It's the biggest deal. And I didn't know it was
the biggest deal until I was talking to you about Hey,
I'm going to rank Tom Brady's achievements here, all of them,
and you go, well, MVPs first, and I go, really,
being the MVP of the super Bowl would be the first,
and You're like, yeah, this's be it's up there. I'm like,
I would just think that's like, that's fine, that's good,
But I'm winning the super Bowl.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
He's a big team guy. I think you probably down
if you asked him, maybe if you if you went
into his heart and really found the truth, MVP would
be number one. Yeah, but winning the.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Super Bowl, it is, well, MVP of the super Bowl
already employed, you've won the super Bowl is the same guy.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
But like all team people, I think at their core
are like they want like Tom Brady wants to be
Tom Brady of course, but he is a generous person.
But I think at your core you want to be
the center of it. I don't know, speaking as Tom Brady,
we wouldn't know anything about it.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
This much crazy it could get to the point where
it starts to feel sarcastic, like can you just read
well done Nikki Glazer and like italics.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, that's what's been kind of the response. Like I've
never been someone people have been like you're great and
you work hard and like all these things, and I've
agreed with it. I've never thought I've deserved anything more
than that. I've never been like when is my day
gonna come? Ever? I really haven't, but it has arrived
where I am like the bell of the ball and
cool people, the cool comedy people like me, oh yeah,
(12:51):
and are welcome, like come hang with us. We do
arenas and you are going to do those.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Soon too, Like give you a shout out on flagrant.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
It's nice.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's nice to be Tim Welke. Tim Dillon welcomed me
to the top tier. He did didn't welcome me, but
it felt like he's up there and he's like he
gave me a hand and like pulled me up and
he just said, you're on the top tier now. It's
it's a long time, like it was just a little
but he acknowledged it. And it's like it does feel
like I just got that like seven timers jacket arsenal
(13:22):
or something.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Maybe you'll get the the farm now.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I want to get in these pedophile rings. Is that
in coming?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah a little yeah, Baily.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
My friend's husband is a billionaire and he just got
back from Necker Island.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Oh yeah, and I go, tell us, what.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Isn't that the place where I've heard of this island?
It's where like he was there with Richard Branson and.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yes, yes it is the island.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, it's not good to own an island.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
You shouldn't after Epstein, don't we all think that island
an island no more?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Really?
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
See that's shady.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Well, yeah, you feel like island today?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Really?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Well that there's no, nothing weird there.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Only mister Beast has an island.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I bet they're like buying remember when everyone's buying stars. Yeah,
I bet they're like that. Like there's just little dots
everywhere that you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, and there's a limited number.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
And with the polar ice caps smelting, the rising, less islands.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Less islands, red skins. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Also with the income inequality, just more people can afford
to buy an island and less people can afford to
live on that island that they're going to buy.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, who is going to run the island? Who's going
to change your sheets? Who's going to iron your sheets?
That's what rich people do. They have people iron their sheets.
That's something that I only had one time when I
was on the yacht and it felt totally stupid to
me to do. But I saw these women ironing sheets
on a yacht Like it's just But I can't wait
to be a part of that now. And that's where
my life is. So we'll come back to the show,
(14:59):
but I am to be different. So we're gonna go
on a break, but I'm getting even gonna change in
the next five minutes. After these commercials, So stay with us.
We'll be back into this. We're what are the last night?
What did we do? We went to dinner with Rachel.
(15:21):
Rachel finesein and I went to dinner at Nobu and
we show up and we're both wearing the same blazer
that we both got from a Cynthia Rally show that
we did. She had like comedians on this New York
Fashion Week show a couple of years ago, and they like,
let us go to their showroom and pick out stuff,
and Rachel and I both picked out like this oversized
pitt and stripe blazer. And last night we showed up
(15:41):
at dinner and this was like a year and a
half ago, two years ago that we did this, and
we both were wearing the same blazer, and it felt
I've never felt more. We were so happy to be
wearing the same thing. That's a really magical moment in
a girl's life. To best friends who would don't see
each other. We only see each other five times a year.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I was I was so happy that you guys went
to dinner. I was really jealous because I always said,
if I could you know when the people are like
if you go to dinner with five people. Who would
the five people be? And I would be like, I
want five Rachel Feinstein's.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, well she there was. It was so fun. And
then Andrew joined us about forty five minutes and dropped
in and yeah, I was She's so fucking funny.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Yeah, she's the best.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
She really is, and she's nice and she could like.
I was like, Rachel, I really want to talk to
you about like like I want to go deep with you,
like I want to like I want to talk about everything.
I go, can you are you cool with Andrew Cumming?
Like can you get talk like that? And she's like, yeah,
I don't care, like she just she'll I like that.
She I like when people are like if I vouch
for someone, well she already knows you. But if I
vouch for someone like their a vault, you can be
(16:39):
honest with them. They'll be just as honest about their
life that they trust me and go, yeah, he can
hear about my marriage or my kids, or my insecurities
about like whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
And she has a special coming out on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah Maye's money first called big Guy. Big Guy one
of my favorite comedians of all time. Watch our specials
support female comedy. It's not even female comedy. It's like
the best comment. She's so fucking funny. But yeah, big
guy on Netflix. I can't wait for even the trailer
to come out. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
But yeah, we had a Netflix has amazing trailers too.
I feel like sometimes the trailers are better than the
show really often.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yeah, because I asked her, I go watch, let me
see your trailer, shees. I don't think they do trailers.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Well, they do it on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, Oh okay, I think they just do clips and
I go, you have a trailer.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Well, I don't know how the No, I don't know
how the stand up specials go. But for regular shows,
they'll do a trailer about a week a month before,
a week before. Yeah, and they're almost half the time
they're better than the show. Like, the trailers are so
good if I just watch I used to go to
the gym and like on the screen there there was
a trailer channel. Sometimes you can just watch movie trailers
while running. And if I could just watch Netflix trailers,
(17:45):
I could do a full workout.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Wow are they so? They're different than like movie trailers?
You feel like that you would see it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
They're similar, they're similar, but it just pumps you up
for the show, and the show could never live up
to the.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Two because it's like highlights and set to a song. Yeah,
Like all the cuts are hitting, like when the beat
kicks it like it's.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
There's some like non sequiturs where you're like, you know,
you're just doing kind of funny things and you're it
kind of draws you and you're like, what is she
doing here?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yes, what's this?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Directors and a lot of I've gotten a lot of
compliments on the trailer actually, people from people who like
know what they're talking about. I was like, oh, that's
so nice. But yeah, I mean I've uh one time,
I've I've talked about a million times. But my favorite
movie is the Social Network trailer. Yeah, it's the it's
it's the greatest.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Oh no, no, no, it was.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
It's not that it's I'm a creep.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Then and it's like boys choir, Yes, and it's scorse trailer.
Oh so good, And David Fincher was like, Hey, who
can direct the trailer to my movie?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
It's Oh my god. It's like a music and it's
weird that music videos aren't really getting like their short
form like why why are they dead?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Because there's nowhere to put them.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
It's just on on videos YouTube, but there's tons of
places music video.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
There's nowhere to put video content anymore.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
There's where there's nowhere not to put video content. It
can be anything.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I feel like music is TikTok is just trailers for songs.
Oh really?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, you're getting like tell me like what's going on there?
And like what do you spend your like what's your algorithm?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I have golf, I have random people getting knocked out.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
On crime faces.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Is there a genre of girls with amazing asses going up.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
To drive, like going up to drive? Yeah there are.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, they're always like these fit girls that like you
just look at.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Their still camera from behind while they're swinging and it's
really look at my swing, but it's really look at
my ass.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yes, it couldn't be more clear to look at their
like it's just so I'm almost swing.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Isn't that good?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Well they don't even have a club in there?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
What and so what out? Like what what are you?
Speaker 3 (20:03):
There's some musicians that you wantn't know that I know
are gonna blow up. Jake Jill and maybe oh yeah,
Benson Boone.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
This Benson Boone, so you know Benson Benson Boons. When
the song goes viral and it becomes trending on TikTok,
then that song becomes a number one song on Spotify.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
But people only will know, Like these artists are saying
that they'll go and they'll play the show, and everyone
shows up and they just sing the one fifteen second
part of the song that's from the TikTok.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, that could happen.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
The song, Yeah, they just repeat it seven times.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Sometimes a good thing is sometimes it digs into the
past and resurrects a song that we all loved, Like
it happened to Billy Joel with a couple of his songs.
And there was that song that just that just got
played that was actually played at the Tom Brady Roast
after party. It would never have been played if it
did not trend on TikTok. It's I forgot the guy's name,
but it's a you want to know where I've been,
(20:56):
I've been trying to I can't sing.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
So yeah, yeah, okay, so yeah that no, oh I
don't think.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, I know it's a white guy that everyone used
to think was black because his voice sounded so much
like a soul singer.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I have a song that is out now on Spotify
and iTunes or whatever songs. It's coming out tonight, I
think as we're shooting this, but like it's out now
when people are listening to this. It's called Someday You'll Die.
It's on Spotify. Besties know about it. They've heard about
it since the inception of it. They've been awaiting it.
There's no bestie listening right now to the podcast who
hasn't heard the song already, even you know, I play
(21:35):
it during my lives, so they're well aware. So tell
your friends, put it on your playlist, share it with people.
Tim this morning, Tim Convey, your brother who wrote the
song with me and helped produce or it did produce.
He sent me a lyric video that was made, but
it's using all It's really cool that they did it,
but it's using all like stock footage for every line.
(21:57):
So it's like I get a text from my best
friend and it's like a girl in bed getting a
text and then it's like but I can't get out
of bed, and she like can't get out of bed
and it's like it's all stocks like see and say yes,
and it just it feels like I was like, can
we just say this was made by chat GBT, Like
I don't want to say that I paid anyone to
do this because it's not good. It's not like there's
(22:17):
nothing artistic about but I appreciate that it was made.
But then there's also like he goes, what ideas do
you have for a lyric video? Can we still just
use the lyrics and maybe just put up a picture?
But the like the fonts or even like live Laugh
Love a little bit, like they try to do funny
things with the fonts, and I'm like it was a
nice effort and I appreciate it, but I don't and
I don't know the answer to what a lyric video
should be. But my idea I think I'm gonna shoot
today is just me writing it wow, and then we
(22:40):
just because I like watching people write with like a
cool marker.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Like this is just satisfied you like walking through a fielding.
I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I would do a still shot of me walking down
sunset singing the whole entire thing without without stopping. That's
a good idea, just something like that.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I mean, that's how the to go to Hollywood Forever
Cemetery and walk through.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
That because some day you'll die.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yeh okay, they were on something.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Forrest Lawn. I went to Forest Lawn Cemetery. Ye, it
was like the most depressing thing I've ever Why listen
to this? This is so bad, so I can't. I
shouldn't even tell this, it's too bad. I down to
like whatever, So okay, I'll tell you. It was right
before Easter, and I kind of like cemetery. So I
was walking through and like I think, like anyway, walking through,
(23:28):
and I'm just like looking at at different like gravestones,
and they were decorated for Easter. So anything that was
decorated for Easter. I was like, Oh, these people, there's
something current about this, and I would be kind of curious,
so I'd go along and I saw a gravestone of
a kid that was has been dead for forty years
and it was decorated with all of So somebody who's
been coming for forty years and decorating the gravestone and
(23:51):
the kid was only alive for six days.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
WHOA?
Speaker 4 (23:55):
So that person was going there at least every Easter
and putting like children decorations.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
It was like yeah, it was like touching.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, like absolutely, God's also the day that Jesus came
back to life, right, yeah, but you maybe it'll work.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah, you had to like do a double take reading that.
It just probably it just s had like May eleven
through May seventeen.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Yeah, it was like August like nineteen eighty two to
like August sixth, nineteen eighty. Yeah, it's like August eleventh,
nineteen eighty two.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
And you're like, oh my god, well I've been doing
this joke on stage.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah, more in six days than you did in six minutes.
You know, it was close. It's closed. I don't know.
I wonder when for longer. Yeah, I wonder what I did. Yeah,
well done, kid, well done, kiddy flowers.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But uh no, I di I do this joke about
how people think their kid's gonna like we like, no
one really needs your kids, stop having them, and we
we get it. You think your kid's gonna cure cancer,
but it's more likely your kids will get cancer. And
I and I go and and that always doesn't do
well because people picture kids with cancer and that's sad.
But it is actually more like that your kid, as
(25:00):
a kid, will get cancer. It's just statistics. Then cure cancer.
It's one hundred percent, it's infinitely, infinitely more likely. That's
just true, but it is offensive and it makes people sad.
So now I go, it's more likely that you're your
kid's not got to cure cancer. It's probably gonna get
cancer at some point in its lifetime when it is
an old person. And then I go, because that's more
palatable than saying it they're getting cancer as a kid,
(25:21):
isn't it. And then that now gets a laugh because
I'm calling out like for some reason, both are true
and both are sad, but like it's just so much
like I find them very special. Uh No, that joke
isn't in Special, but the version I'm telling now will
probably be in the next special because now it's working
because I'm addressing the thing that is uncomfortable about it
and now making a joke out of that.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
It's crazy because you're special. You had like an hour
and forty five minutes a material going in and so
much of it got cut.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah it was it was too too much to take.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, too much things.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
But the next special I'm approaching at Rose style six
minutes at a time.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Oh oh wow, on it all trailers. I love that trailers.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Love it being gay or Settleman and sorry, oh that's
a guy I went to high school. I have got
a lot of Edelmans in my wife, and you're they're
all gay, very common name, I think. Actually Alex Edelman
is bisexual.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
So he came out for his special yes special back.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Netflix wouldn't give him on unless he was interesting.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Do you think if you get kid cancer, though, and
you die, you get you're more like people will show
up for forty years? Would you rather have that? Or
die of cancer and an old age and and people show.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Up for me.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I don't care because I'm dead, so I'd like to
live longer.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah, living longer is better.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, that'd be really sad if you just had to
wait by your grave after you died, all the time
waiting for people to come by, Like you're just sitting
there being like I hope someone stops by.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I've never been to my grandparents grave. I don't think
you should go.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
It actually feels nice to do it.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
I love going. I don't know where it is. Yeah, actually,
my one Grandpa got buried in a cemetery and apparently
they just put more bodies. They stack them, they stacked
them up, and we didn't.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Like, it's no ways spooning somebody forever.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Yeah that's crazy, Well not really, I mean the their
body biodegrades after like you know, eight years. Well they're bones,
and that the bones are bones last longer longer.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, sometimes there's mummified things like you see bones of
like the bones like people are sacrificed and they put
them in like a crazy like they're two people cradling
each other. I want to be buried like in a
fetal like that would be cool to like my bones
are like so they think something I was like bludgeoned
to death by someone, even though so in my casket
I'm like crumpled so that when aliens discover me, they go,
(27:51):
what happened on this bitch?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yeah? I like that.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
I want to be like blowing myself down on myself.
Yeah yeah, finally I.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Could, because all of your muscle isn't stopping you, Like
what's stopping you from I guess your spine or is
it your fascia enough?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I mean, when it really comes down to its long enough.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Yeah, I just can't someone who was able to touch
their mouth to it. There was some person I remember that.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Was like, well, there was like a rumor going around.
I forgot who it was where someone got a rib removed.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Who was We had a joke about it the other
day because I was going to talk about how Kim
Kardashian like took quite a beating that night. But then
the next night she was at the met Gallon. She
was wearing a corset that was so painful looking. I
mean literally, her waist was the size of her neck.
It was no difference that small, And we were talking
about like she had a rib removed like Marilyn Manson.
She either wanted to fit in the dress or she
wanted to suck Marilyn Manson's.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Rib.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
It kind of makes sense because then they could like
bond over it, you know, But she would.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Never because he's so white. Was our like, he's the
whitest white makeup. Oh that's true.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Yeah, I don't know. He Yeah, he doesn't go full.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But there are cemeteries all across this world that are
just like forgotten. Like you think there's some permanence in
being buried in a cemetery, and there's like cemeteries from
the Civil War that are just covered up by a
mall or just unmarked graves everywhere. Like you really can't
step on a place on Earth where someone has it
been laid to rest.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Right, I mean it makes sense. There's so many more
dead people than they are alive people.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Well, how do you like, Okay, when when it's all
over for Brian, what do you want to happen to
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Remains frozen and then resurrected technology.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, we don't talk about Brian's death. It's it's not
a thing that happens now.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
My dad, though we've talked about this, he's interested in
a haunted forest. These are trees that have a little
sack underneath of them where you can put the body
in the sack so that it helps a tree grow,
and then the tree is the thing you go see
and not the gravestone. And in a bunch of trees
like this, it's they call it a haunted forest.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Oh god, it's so gross to think of like a
crumpled body like in a.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Saxon your energy or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You're Yeah, I don't mind being thrown into the ground.
Just no casket. Like the worms get you quicker and
you become part of the earth. I like that better
than being like it's going to take billions of millennia
to go through the wood and the shellac on the
wood and then the like.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I won't take billions of millennial you'll you'll biodegrade inside
that coffin.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I don't care what the fuck happens. I literally, I've
talked about this before. If you are someone who wants
to fuck dead people, I'll give my body to neck feelix.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
I don't care if you.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Don't care, Hey, what would be the difference?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
It doesn't I was gonna say the smell, but I
don't even know about that.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
When it happened, I think I might be wetter.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Involving fluid might be.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
To be your biggest special ever.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Oh my god, that's so funny. A plus plus clip it,
clip it, that's clipped. You're getting clipped, brother.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Clip But what do you want?
Speaker 4 (31:16):
What do you want to happen to your bod strapped
to a chair donated to the military and shot at.
Just give it to science. Science, Just do whatever science
wants to do. If it can, like help a kid
learn how to do surgery or it doesn't. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, you can't choose that when you donate it to science,
you don't know where it's going to go. You might
wind up getting strapped to a thing and shot with
a missile.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
But like I said, I don't care. Yeah, it's like
whatever is useful.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
They might study nacrophilia.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
I would like to be useful.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
They might do a study with people want to corpses,
and that might be science.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Couldn't care less.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah, I don't care either.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
That'll be used.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
But you know what I do, even though I feel
that way, Like in movies where people have to like
like recover the body from like a war field, I
always find that very moving.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Sure, yeah, and you know what, second thought on this,
I do like the idea of a ashes spreading thing,
Like I think that's very beautiful and I think that
I would want that gift for my family and friends
to like have a closure moment like that. And there's
just something about being lowered into the ground that is
so sad and being kept Like I would like a
(32:30):
place for them to go to like remember me and
visit because I think that is important, like a gravestone.
And maybe put a little bit of the ashes in that,
but then the rest of the ashes. I don't know
where you'd scatter it over the fucking Kia forum. I'll
tell you that.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Okay, where would you Where would you want ashes? Right now?
Because you, let's say you could do it like a
few places about Taylor.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Swiths, Rhode Island beach House. Now, I would say, probably. God,
that's such a good question right now. Maybe like my
childhood home, like the like Cincinnati front Cincinnati, like the
little like in like the little wooded area on the side.
I think it's not even there, but like in the
front yard where I used to run around as a
(33:10):
little girl. Like I think that's I'm almost getting choked
up thinking about it, Like that's like a that seems nice,
even though I haven't been back there since I was six. Yeah,
what about it? Seems I don't know where were scattering them.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
About?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
You? What are you doing up there?
Speaker 3 (33:24):
You can put my ashes, I think, inside a dildo
and give it to Burno, give her its not the plan. Yeah,
finally I can have a red penis something like special
to me. I here up almost thinking about about it.
It's crazy, what money you got? Everything like your childhood home. Yeah.
(33:45):
Remember I used to run around. I don't it was
a child. Yeah, I don't want to be when we met.
Cut that, clip it. I mean, I don't know. Clip it,
cut it out, burn it, run it around. I'm dead autism.
(34:07):
I think I have it. I yeah, I don't know.
I I get scared about cremation. I don't. For some reason,
I still think I could feel it. Yeah, I'm crazier.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
You should be scared about getting lowered into the ground too.
Then it's really cold.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
I had to do that for my grandpa. Actually I
was never You did go one time just to dig
it years before he died. Get up kill his watch.
That was a present that I stole from my aunt.
She doesn't know she's deaf, so she really is like
(34:40):
clip it, clip it.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Don't do captions.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Captions if anything, turn it down a little. You never know,
so I.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Might just started hearing if it's loud enough.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
You really do know. She got a lot of money.
You know, she gets a lot of money. You never know. Science.
I had to shovel in the Jewish religion. You have
to literally put the dirt.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Oh yeah, everyone takes all.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
That was intense. Yeah, you know, just like hearing it
hit the cast.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
We all got to we send in the line and
each got to do a thing.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Oh really, it was cool.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
It's a nice tradition.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, you guys got some good ones.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
And then you also like let people you have like
what's the morning? Yeah, the morning, Yeah, that's really that's
nice too.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Brings you food for a week.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
It's like the paid leave for a postpartum, paid leave
of like of death. I feel like where it's like
we take a little bit more time to I don't
know why it's I'm comparing it to that, but some
people like to give you no time. They're just like,
come back to work.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Because child is a huge death, death to your body.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yes, yes, I do think that sometimes all the time,
but some people want it.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
It was funny my grandpa got buried and then my
grandma died like eight years late and got buried next
to him, and I could just imagine him being so pissed,
Oh my god that day, like he's like, you know,
I'm banging Hooters girls in heaven and now Grandma, Yeah,
I'm home movin.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Louis has a bit about that. I'm like, why are
he has good We've touched on a couple of things,
and I'm like, Louis.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Has that bit too, Like always got the bit about
getting sucked as a body.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Yeah, like.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
A medical student just gets an They just put an
f on you and just slide you down a shoe.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, Grandma, they put an F plus on it. And
then there's the fucking the dead body. He's like, I
want my body to be like the Willy Wonka, like
someone comes out and you can come on my back
and pretend I am your father.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Yes that no one would know that song. And until
TikTok brought it back.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Yeah, well Timothy Shalloman brought it back.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Watch that chocolate. I don't have to get it. It's
not good. Literally, I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
I felt the joke bubbling in you and I had
to get it, Like I literally felt it physically, the
joke in your stern them. That's so funny. I my
grandma actually went so my grandpa died probably ten years
before she did, and you know, for the first five years,
it was like, I can't wait to see Grandpa like
(37:19):
my husband again. And then she started getting dogs, like
she got senior dogs. They would just give her dogs
and then they would die and she would and then
at the end of her life, she was like, I
can't wait to see my dogs, and I would be
I literally was like, what about Grandpa And she was like,
I'm good, Like I had a really good time with
him while he was here, Like she was like he
was kind of an asshole, like kind of grumpy. She
(37:40):
was constantly like catering to him, and it was like,
it's a different It was a marriage of the forties,
so like that's what it was.
Speaker 4 (37:46):
So she was like, no, I don't really want to
have like one hundred kids together.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
They had so many, ten kids and five miscarriages. Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Julie,
tom Or, Peggy, Chucky, Bobbys, Patty, Sally, Mom and Dad.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Wow, I did it, Peggy, Yeah, your grandpa. It sounds
like they all died like many years apart. It sounds
like they never even loved each other, because we all
know that if they love each other, they die within minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Oh yes, that's exact same sign. Okay, we're gonna go
to break and come back with more after that. All right,
we're back in the final stages of the show. I
don't know, Yeah, it did quick. I gotta go do
three more podcasts today. I'm doing a comedy Bang bang.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
This is wild.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
You're doing a tour of the world here. I can't imagine.
This week is so packed. You you usually when you
come to l A, you pack it with podcasts. You
try to make it was already packed. Already it was packed,
and now you're adding all this other It's like every
five minutes, it's a new podcast you have to go to.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Yes, I got booked on Seth Myers, which was last week.
I'm doing that next week. And then the John Mlaney
thing just came through. But that's John mulaney show is
going to be. There's no preparation for it. I don't
have to have a bit prepared. You just go out
and you just laugh. Sure, and that's that's the joy.
Speaker 4 (38:54):
I mean, you're gonna be so good on it too,
because I love the show.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
So it's nice to be a fan of a show
you're going into. I want to watch Last Nights. But yeah,
I saw Nate Pargazzi the other night and he was like,
I just got done with them on anything. He's like,
you know, you just go out there. You just don't
even know what's gonna happen. There's really nothing you can do.
And it was just like it was like, Okay, that's
just what I need to hear. Is like I was
when he was saying that, I was like, oh, now
I want to do it because it's.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Just those situations.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Yes, I love no prep. Yes, I like no reviewing
what we're gonna go over, not having to hit our marks.
Oh and then it's done. I love that he said
on his first show, like the show is never gonna
find its groove.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
Yes, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Because that's it's such an insider term too.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
That happens with all these TV shows like you're like,
you know, Jimmy, TV.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Shows like like Nicky and Sarah Right, yeah, not safe.
They never felt they weren't allowed to last long enough
to find what they are.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Like even you watch early Conan's and it took them
a little while to find their groove. And when they.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Couldn't believe it lasted, Oh my god. That I really
recommend watching or listening to. Obviously, I recommended Hot Ones Conan,
which was amazing, one of the best pieces of comedy ever.
And then they had that he has on Doctor Arroyo,
his doctor from Hot Ones on for a segment on
his podcast, and it's on YouTube. Just type in doctor Arroyo.
(40:12):
It is so it's so funny. It's just like the
comments underneath, which you know, comments helped me determine how
I feel about it, are like this is a twenty
minute masterclass in improv.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
It's just it's really really hot Ones.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
It was so subtle, just like the subtle.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I was tricked. At the beginning. I was like, this
is this is it's a real doctor because he was
so not purposely funny seeming that I was like, maybe
this is a real guy who just doesn't know what
to say. Yeah, And obviously by the end of it.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
On the interview, he goes, you know, we just have
to talk about some of your practices that you established
during the hot Ones episode. People have questions, you know,
when you took my pulse, you seem to be choking
my neck, and he goes, I thought you wanted me
to actually take your pulse away.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Nikki was like, you know what you like, we were
like going sleep and I was like, oh, Nicky's probably
asleep by now, and then she just kept laughing and
for like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I never do that, Like, I'm never like cracking up
the things I'm listening to as I'm going to bed,
but I couldn't. I was like gasping. There's one where
he goes, and then when you were checking you had
me stick on my tongue at one point and checked
my like tongue with the with the heart monitor, and
he said, yeah, well that's how we did it. I
needed to hear if there was any screaming going on,
(41:27):
like you're talking about that. He goes and it was dead.
Your tongue was dead, so it was good. And he goes, well,
usually one would put that device on my chest to
hear my heartbeat, and he just goes, ough.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
That just at the idea of a heart Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah. It's just these subtle things that you're like, where
are you even going up?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
And that was so funny.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
It's really there's so many more moments that are just
so great to listen to. But what do you guys got.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
You're so sick of talking to yourself?
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Now?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I am a little bit, but it is it is Uh,
it's a good it's it is a good week to
be me.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Yeah, Glazier, No, I thought you're gonna go third person.
You might get there the end of this week. You're
gonna be like Nikki feeling all right. Nik I thought.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Nikki's gotta finish up the show. Yeah, no, I don't
think I'll get to that. I uh, it does feel
good though, to you know. Kim Kardashian DMed me yesterday
what it feels like.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
The lottery for like every morning you're like, what is gonna?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I know?
Speaker 1 (42:31):
What did Kim say? Kim was so nice and wrote,
I mean I could read our conversation verbatim.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
I think I will, But aren't you not supposed to
do that?
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
But I just feel like, yeah, I won't. I won't.
I did it last night on stage, but it wasn't
like a taping. But because she didn't say anything that
would be ever weird, like.
Speaker 4 (42:50):
You just said how amazing you weren't have funny.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Like if she would get offended by Like I was
thinking about this, I was like, maybe I shouldn't have
done that, and I go, well, if if she would
get offended by me reading that, like she's got to
know that if she said something to me, I would
not do that with something that was not good. You
know like she I hope she trusts me that I'm
not just reading this because she sent me something. It's
like I discerned that it was something that is readable,
But I do I knew that. I know that there
is a part of her that's probably like this pitche'll
(43:14):
just read anything I send her, which I would not do, Kim,
if you ever hear this.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
But yeah, I remember she wrote like Kanye had p
Diddy Yes, right, and now when she wrote something like
that something like that, I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
She just said great job, which she had. I mean,
she had to like write a Nikki like she had
to type it in like I'm thinking about like her
like beautiful nails, clicking on it like typing Nikki, Oh
is it two k's or one? Like yeah, and then
she had to go to it and then she had
to go to like mess like it's like a lot
of things that I was just like, oh. And then
she just wrote me a really nice message saying congrats.
(43:48):
And then I was like no you Yeah, I said,
I was trying to make eye contact with you the
whole damn show because I wanted to tell you you
fucking killed and you like you were just so impressive,
and I said, which was no surprise because of how
elite your SNL monologue was, but you really killed it.
And and she was like, I don't know how you
(44:08):
do that. It's like it's it's low key abuse or
something like. She was like, it's abuse, and I go,
you do know how I did it, because you did it.
I go, you did it too, and you did it
so well. And then she was like she hearted that,
and I just wrote like she said something else, and
I said, we are brave exclamation mark, and she hearted it.
So that was the end of it, right, But like, yeah,
but ironically, the ironic thing is is that so many
(44:33):
times people call that family not talented, like why are
they famous? And I didn't even think about that kind
of notion about them, even though I literally read jokes
about Kim that were pitched to me this week to
maybe do that we're like addressing that they don't have talent,
And I literally wrote in that like you are so talented,
because that was talented to be able to. First of all,
whatever happened at the beginning, which by the way, the
(44:53):
boo I met someone who knows who started it, and
they were starting it as a joke. Wow, and it
caught five or like it just like it was a
gasoline over the crowd and a little bit of boot
and because they were just ready to boot, like it
could have been anyone that wasn't that is like associated
with that kind of part of our pop culture.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Sure well, they were booing like football teams and stuff
too that were anti Patriots.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
I thought it might be a swift rio.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
I booed Tom because he said fuck the cults. I
booed him. I was the only one booish, sure.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Like that was the kind of night it was. It
was boo heavy, but like she got fucked on that
boo And it was some comedian, some asshole comedian that
did it as a joke and didn't expect her to
catch on and it wasn't because I thought it was
a swifty thing. Like I was like disappointed on behalf
of Swifties for like, if that's what this is about.
But I think it was just got out of hand.
It was just people being jealous obviously of her fame
(45:43):
and her power and all the like. That was what
it was. But for her to like not address it
but kind of like look like a little disappointed like that.
She just handled it so well, and then she sat
there the rest of the fucking show. She went up
like almost right after me. I think there was one
after me, and then she went up. That's a long
She sat there for two hours whenever. A lot of
people that made appearances in the crowd left after their appearances.
(46:04):
They didn't want to say the whole show because they
had other shit to do. Kim Kardashian definitely has other
shit to do. She had to go to the Metcala
the next day. She probably flew the Red Eye, but
she sat there and waited for Tom Brady's set, and
I thought that was really cool of her.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
You can think what you want about Kim, but in
order to get that famous, you need to have talent.
You can't get that famous. There's a lot of hot,
rich girls who are not as famous as Kim Kardashian,
and it's because they don't have the talent that she does.
It's just impossible to do.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
And just because the talent doesn't look like singing or
dancing or acting or whatever you think it does like
it is about sustaining a public image, captivating It takes
hard work to look.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
At interesting is a talent being, Yes, doing things like
just not making mistakes at public appearances and you know,
planning and your whole public image. Her whole job is
to cultivate a public image. Yes, and that's a talent
and that.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Comes from her. Yes, she might hire people to help
her with her image, but she's hiring those people. She
she's the taste maker at the top. So I will
never I'll always be in her like no, I mean
that the body is insane, and that asked that, But
what's your public image?
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Mine? Guy to eats chicken salad with his hands, and.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
With that we have to go.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Cultivated.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Much that happened before, I would hope.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
So my story, ever was when one day I got
us tie food. We were our hotel room. We only
had one hotel room. The other one wasn't clean yet,
so we were just hanging in the hotel room before
night of shows. The ty food arrives. There's no utensils.
I go down to go get some and I come
back up and he is using the ice tongs, which.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Yeah, no, yeah, but it was just.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
But I always uses the coffee. I use them a
shop six and that really does work. But that was
the next level and I loved it. But yeah, hands,
I've seen a lot.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
Yeah tongs is a strong move because they're on there.
I don't know. I guess they use them with ice.
The huh tom Brady, Tom Brady.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
That's what we're calling.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
You gotta go.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Don't be killing you guys. Check me out. I'm gonna
be in Vegas this weekend with David's made tons of
tour Nadesnicky Glazer dot com. There's the song. There's a
special spread the word. I love you guys so much,
love you, busties. I'll never get big enough for you.
I promise a lot of besties have been like, please,
don't change, never forget us. I would never. I love you.
Don't be killed, and.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
I would never texting Kim K right now, Yeah, Kik.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
You're my only best I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Okay see
Host
Nikki Glaser
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