Nikki and Brian return into the groove of podcasting on their respective coasts. They discuss Nikki's weekend in Vegas, returning to St. Louis, and feeling relieved and thankful for all the fans and family. They discuss Nikki's garbage man accident story from high school. You'll be surprised to hear the trial twist! Final thought: female orgasms on screen, let's reel it in and do the sex scene. Page Six, be sure to clip this on your sound bites!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nikki Glaser Podcast Glazers.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello here, I am Snicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show.
It's Nicky Glazer. I'm here with Brian Frangie. I'm not
here with him, but he's here on Indian Spirit. Yeah,
I mean and more than that video. I see your
face moving.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
That's audio.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You're actually you're not here in spirit. That's the linking
you are here in for me. How's how's your going?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Uh? Mine's going good. I uh, I'm doing all right. Well,
you know, I'm doing terrible as usual, but I'm me
and I my headspace is decent, which is good.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh okay.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I feel like now this is an interesting time. This
is probably this is obviously not more interesting than your
last two weeks, which have been a whirlwind, roller coaster
ride of insanity. Yes, but I feel like this period
is the frequently and not talked about period, which I
would like to call the reflections period, where things start
(01:05):
to slow down and now you're like, what just happened? Yeah?
And how do I feel now?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah? That's a good point. Thank you for the dovetailing
this into about me after I asked you how you
were doing well. I don't want to do good headspace.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I don't want to spiral into you know what am
I going to talk about? You know, everything that's going wrong?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Let's talk about Well, let me guess your you can't sleep,
your teeth hurt, your dog is restless, and your wife
is happy and her spirits are high, which can be
annoying at times. There's uh, coconuts fallen down from pine
cones are starting to fall.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah. No, it's in the season where the pine cones
are falling and it's dangerous out there.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I can't even go outside my house without worrying.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah. Well, we'll get into your anxieties because I think
it all tracks together of like all the things. You know, Uh,
we're we're all going through things right now. If you're
not going through something, get out. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You know. Someone once told me I was like complaining
about something. It was like I was confiding in a
friend over lunch about a problem.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Big mistake.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I know, that was my first mistake. You can't confide
in friends. That's what you go that's what you go
to the anything.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So I was talking to him and he said this thing,
and it made me so mad. He goes, well, everyone's
dealing with something and I wanted to jump across the
table and cut his head off with a butter knife.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
So why are people so bad at being friends or
like just saying the right thing like this whole? Haven't
Haven't we all seen enough memes of like when people
say they're starving kids, not memes, but just like culturally
we make fun of like, well they're starving kids in Africa.
Stop complaining or whatever it is that it don't We
(02:54):
all know that it doesn't matter, and that yes, we
have it better than any group of people in the
history of human like human beings existing for thousands of years,
we have a better hundreds of thousands of years. We
have a better than any of them lifestyle wise, and
yet we're all miserable. It doesn't matter because the reason
we're miserable is because we feel lack of purpose. Because
(03:15):
we used to always just be hunting and gathering, trying
to stay alive, trying to not get eaten, trying to
make sure our babies don't die, trying to find drinking water.
Like we were consumed with purpose and ye every waking second,
and you didn't have time to get depressed.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Wait wait, wait, wait, so you're telling me the cavemen
weren't dealing with seventeen different types of pillows and not
knowing which one is going to be best for your nick.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I mean, I wonder at what point they realized, like
that some of them were getting different moss that would
resemble like a temp repedic, you know, like and we're upgrading,
and then that moss became like you like, at what point, Yeah, there.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Was probable point the caveman moss become an issue. I mean,
probably right around the time that Jesus said came around.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah. I mean, honestly, Brian, our issues, your issues with
the pillows, it's it's bigger than that. It's it's deeper.
There's something else going on. All of the things that
I worry about are just masking for some other thing
in my life that I'm not ready to address. I mean,
my wrist has been hurting recently, like carbal Tunnel, and man,
(04:27):
I've been doing such a good job of every time
it acts up, I just go, it's all in my head.
It's all in my head. It's all in my head,
And this isn't real, This isn't an injury, this isn't
my I'm picturing like where it's hurting and that it's
enflamed and there's tendonitis. Even so I just go, it's
all in my head and it's been going away. When
I do that, oh really, yeah, it works, yeah, and
it goes And then it starts hurting again when I
(04:48):
start stressing about this very specific thing in my life
a volleyball game I have coming up. No, it starts
hurting immediately when I start stressing about a specific area
of my life that I'm stressed about. And then there's
this back injury I have that you know, always flares
up when there's some kind of stress going on, and
I always go, no, I twisted it in pilates or
(05:09):
whatever I tell myself, which could be true. Like I
was aggravating things in plates one day and then I
was I couldn't move my neck for a couple days.
But I also was going through a ton of stress.
And I think it's that I would I'm not like
people who want to be injured. I would rather it
be in my head.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
That is.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's why I think I can get over these things
so quickly, because as soon as I go it's in
your head. I really accept that and then it goes away,
which is the sort of it. You have to accept it.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
The beauty of it is even if you do have
an injury like a muscle pull, not not if your
like bone is broken or something, but if you have
a muscle pull or strain or something like that, and
you just make your head say it's fine, it's okay,
then even though it's injured and it's hurting, your brain
learns to kind of ignore it and you just kind
of proceed and it's like, yeah, it's kind of annoying
and kind of limiting, but it becomes pushed back into
(05:58):
the depths of your consciousness so that you're not really
focused on it and it doesn't bother you.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, pain can be mitigated, pain can be lessened. Like
your pain is your nerves feeling something, and you can psychologically,
you can kind of turn off your nerves with meditation
and with mindfulness. Like it actually does work and it
doesn't take away from the fact that you are injured.
But what it does take away from is the fact
that you get to complain like you don't have control
(06:23):
over it, and that's something people really like to do.
And the fact is you can have control over it.
You just have to do things that seem kind of
woo woo and hard and and you know, and maybe
you don't want to do them, and you don't have
control over it because you're the type of person that
will never believe in that stuff and you were born
that way and you can't help it. So you deserve
to feel your pain. It's all okay. But I will
say in talking about the it's we're two weeks out
(06:46):
of the roast. Yeah, the night my life changed from
New York. I was in New York. I just got
back from I did a week of press right after
the roast. I did a week of press in LA
for my special. My special came out that next Saturday,
and then I did. I flew from LA to New
York and did a week three days of press in
New York, two days really, but I was there three
(07:08):
days for my special and you know, obviously the rows stuff.
And then I flew back Thursday to Saint Louis. Was
there for or Wednesday night. Was there Thursday, and then
went to go see my dad play music Thursday night,
fun Little Saint Louis Night, and then Friday was in Vegas,
UH for two shows with David Spade Friday and Saturday.
(07:30):
Those were sold out. They haven't been before.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Something something changed.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I mean they were close. Yeah, grown Ups three is
in the mix being being floated. No, I don't know.
So that was really fun and those shows were just
so fun. And I got to hang with friends and
relax by the pool during the day and it was
just a great time. And then came home to Saint
Louis on Sunday and today is Tuesday, and I'm feeling
(07:59):
it's a little weird being back and feeling like, but
I'm not. I'm not having the crash because I knew
there would be of like if I led this attention
in too much, and I'm too like, Oh my god,
my life is so good right now. Everyone loves me,
everyone wants a piece of me. My numbers are going up.
I just knew it would go away because it's the
it will, and so I I didn't let it into much.
(08:21):
I led it in enough. I'm proud of myself, which
I don't think pride is a good quality. So I'm
I'm grateful for everything how my life landed up here.
I'm grateful that for everything that led me to doing
well at that roast, the hard work, the people who
helped me, the parents who believed in me to even
have this career, being a woman born in a country
(08:44):
that can even say dirty things like all the things
that led me to believe.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
To be the man that the garbage man. You know,
without them, you wouldn't even have.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You have garbage, Yes that I have. I hit a
garbage sport. Did I tell you that?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I know. When I was in high school, I hit
a garbagevan with my car and I went to he
sued me, and yeah, it was a whole thing. No,
I actually won. They divvied up the blame. They said
I was thirty percent to blame and he was seventy percent,
and so we only had to pay him thirty percent
of what he was asking, which was ideal because if
(09:21):
he would have gotten zero, he would have just appealed it.
So it was honestly, our lawyers were like, thirty percent
is exactly what you want because any lower he would
have done it again.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Right, Oh god, you know these garbage men have been
getting off too easy for too long.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
And I'll just tell you, never speed and I wasn't speeding,
but never always cautiously go past the garbage truck because
they will jump out. They might not hear your car.
It might be like one of those like I've avoided
so many different pedestrian incidents because I've just been I'm
obsessed with not hitting someone again.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, well, they're you know, they're constantly jumping off. It's
like Universal Studio. It's like it's like they're just jumping
off and jumping out from behind the truck and garing you.
And because they don't they're not thinking. It's they wake
up at four o'clock in the morning to pick up
trash and they have to jump off the do you
have the guys it's the used to be the guys
that hang off the back of the truck and they
(10:13):
have to physically get off and dump and now and
at least in Culver City, it's like the arms that
go out the mechanical arms that grab.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
We have both.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, those guys were jumping off, but they are very
savvy about what when to jump and when not like
usually they are. I was in an area when I
hit a garbage man. It was at night. It was
about it was like dust.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Garbage man in the morning.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, sorry, not dust ran at night, like dusk is
like when the sun's going down, right, Like it was
probably like dusk is down. Yeah, So it was around
six o'clock, which in my neighborhood we only have garbage
been in the morning, and so.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Why would a garbageman be out at night. It's so weird.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
So I was I thought it was parked like, I
didn't even think, so I just went past it at
a normal speed and then he jumped out. And then
when I was on trial, they were making me out
to be some like kind of white privileged yeah bitch,
because he was. He was not a white man. And
I think it was about like, she just is driving
recklessly and doesn't care about black people, and she was
and it was just like and I said, I do
(11:16):
think it was part of the I do think it
was part of their prosecution, was to make me out.
And and you know, so.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
If it was a white garbage man, you would have swerved.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Around if it was not even that. It was just
like maybe it wasn't about him being black, It was
about me being white and entitled and not. And I
was in an area of my town that had garbage
men pick up at night, So I guess that made
that a poorer part of town or something, and I'm
from the elitist part of town where because I said,
(11:46):
I never knew garbage men worked past the morning or like,
you know, midday, I'd never seen a garbage truck out.
And they're like, oh, so the neighborhoods you go in,
garbage men only work in the morning. They like, well,
it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I don't know garbage pick up white. I didn't even
know that.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
That's how I just thought that was when they pick
it up.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I just know, so they go to the white neighborhoods first,
and then if they have time, they'll go to the
black neighborhoods and pick up the garbage.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't think it was it was. It was more
because I was not in a It was just in
an area that was probably not as well off as mine, right.
And so they also made me, the woman made me
out to be like you were just driving la la La.
I'm not even joking you. This was the first stand
up thing I've ever did, because I was on the
stand and she was this woman defending this guy, and
(12:35):
she goes, so you were with your friend blaring music,
just driving la la la la la, just driving down
the road and I go, well, I didn't look like that,
and it killed. Dude. The whole jury laughed because I
just go, I didn't look like that, and it I mean,
it was I'm not even joking you was the first
time publicly I had gotten laughter. I think i'd start
(12:56):
started stand up the next year, or maybe I was
still doing something. It was just there was something about
it that I was like, ooh, that killed. And then
I had them on my side because.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
You're in the when said that, Yeah, I was on
the witness stand and the microphone out of the witness
stand I dropped walking around.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I took it out and then I dropped it. Wow, yeah,
it was great.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I said, you're gonna have to pay for that.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
That's actually yeah, we'll put that towards that thirty percent.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
You wo.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
They know it was. It was an interesting trial. The
craziest part of the trial was I really I've said
this on podcasts before, so I'm sorry if long term
besties have heard this many times. They were I think
it was gonna go like fifty to fifty. Maybe maybe
they were even gonna give me more of the blame.
And I swear to God this happened. I'm on the stand,
(13:45):
and oh no, I'm not on the stand. I'm in
I'm like sitted at sitted. I'm seated at the you
know where OJ sat or whatever, you know, like where
you sit on the trial. I'm just like thinking of.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Like, yeah, on his wife's corpse.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, and and my his he's on the stand. The
guy that I hit, which, by the way, when I
hit him, I hit him and he was taken away
an ambulance, and I tried to get information about what
happened to him, and I never heard anything until four
years later, right before the statute ran out, we get
a call from his lawyer. Suit then I had to
go do a deposition. Taylor had to go do a deposition.
(14:21):
Taylor mcgath, she was in the car with me and
so I'm on the rondage.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Did some great sound effects during her deposition sound effects.
She is, well, she always makes noises.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, she's good at noises and she's good at and
then she was like, I'm not good to do that,
and we were like, oh no, yeah, I could see
her doing that.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
No.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
We were listening to Z one oh seven, probably loudly,
but that's like allowed. It's not like I would have
not hit a garbage man if.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I wasn't remember the song.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
No, but I'm sure it was something like jaw rules,
like everybody want to live it up? What do I
do every mony? I don't live it up?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Ru Maybe that would have helped you, you know, Fiona
Apple bullshit and you're like, actually it was jaw.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You hit a black man, but at least you're supporting
black excellence in pop music. No, I am. I went
over to his body because he was laying in the grass.
He had jumped up and I hit his legs. So
if he hadn't jumped, he would have gone under and
it would have been horrible.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
He was laying in the ground.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Dude, I hit a man severely, Like I'm not getting
you like trauma, like from this. I almost killed a man.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
So he dropped from behind the truck.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
So he I was driving. Our car's got parallel right,
My car is going there. We're facing different directions. He's
on the side of street. I think he's parked because
it's a garbage truck past hours and it's I don't
see lights, I don't see moving it's and it's a dusk,
and I doubt he had lights on, because I don't
think we did. And my car, my mom's land cruiser,
little white bitch driving our mom's big old land Cruiser,
(15:56):
gets parallel with the back of his truck and he
jumps out to get a garbage can across the street.
And I see him run out. We lock eyes. It
is slow motion, and he jumps and then my car
just hits his legs and he goesubling into the street
and then into the grassy knoll. Yeah, he's laying in
(16:18):
a grassy knoll. And I pull forward, like I stop,
and then I look at Taylor and I'm like, oh
my god. And then I start laughing because that is
a response, a trauma response. I found out. I felt
really embarrassed about laughing before because there's nothing funny about it,
but I just couldn't. I thought it was a dream
kind of and so I just had to laugh because
it was just my like a lot of times ridiculous.
(16:40):
They will see people, like even rape victims will like
laugh before it when it's happening, or like when people
are getting you know, it's a common response to being terrified.
And so I remember laughing and then I remember feeling
really bad about laughing, and so I stopped. And then
there was a part of me that was like, just run,
just go, just drive, like I do see the psychology
(17:02):
behind a hit and run, because there is this thing
in you that's like fight or flight and you're about
to either go to prison. And also I hate seeing
bloody injuries, and so I was like, I'm the first
on the scene. I'm I know all of this is
sound horrible, and if you've never lived something like it,
you can totally point at me and be like, you're
not compassionate. You didn't get up. I just I don't
like gore and I was too scared to see it.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
And I and you're a teenager, remember that?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah? Can everyone remember I was sixteen and my brain
had not developed properly, so I didn't run obviously, But
I will say I don't even need to share the
fact that I thought that. I'm only sharing it because
I do. I did feel it, and I didn't. And
then my mom had a car phone, like one of
the first car phones, you know, the ones that would
like latch on and have the big buttets on the outside.
(17:46):
So I called nine to one one and I didn't
want to get out of the car because I was
so scared.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
But that's her white privilege help the situation.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
There we go, We're one of the first ones with carphone,
and I think we had one nineteen ninety five and
so then and this is too who this is yeah,
two thousand. So then he uh so. Then I got
out and all of his garbage truck friends colleagues are
surrounding him, and then one of them comes up to
me and is like, he's always jumping out. I told
(18:14):
him this was gonna happen. He's never looking out. That
really helped. Well. That guy changed his story by the
time he gets to the stand. But I swear to
God that I only remember it not because I was
like trying to find evidence it wasn't my fault. I
remember it because he said it so many times to
me and was trying to calm me down and was like,
this is not your fault over and over and over,
(18:35):
and so I remembered it because I needed that. And
so by the time we were sued four years later,
that guy was mum on that kind of language, and
I was only my hearsay. But on the on during
the trial, we got to go to break. He is
on the stand and his attorney and I know I've
(18:56):
told this before, so I really I'm sorry. We'll talk
about other things after this. His attorney is cross examining
him and asks him, have you ever been charged with
a felony? He said yes. We're like, hmm, what was
the charge? Child molestation?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Oh? God, well it's over.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
It was over. I don't feel like it's fair that
it was over. But my side of things, we didn't
even know about that my side, And I promise you
this really happened. He said that I waited about twenty
seconds so it wouldn't be connected. But I turned around.
My mom was in the very back of the courtroom,
and I just looked at her and raised my eyebrows,
like this is done. Because the whole jury had already
(19:39):
laughed at my joke. They were kind of like making
fun of the circus that was his attorneys that were
being so buffoonish in interrogating me. And then they find
out he's a child molester, and it's just like, you're
not going to give that guy money, And it's not
fair because it shouldn't be connected and he should not
have to be judged for that, but it did come
up and his atturny he brought it up.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
No one even asked attorney sucks. That's what happens when
you don't have money to afford and it's probably like
a cheap billboard attorney or something. But you're a hero,
Nikki Glazer, right around town running down child molesters. You're
a hero in the end.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yes, But you know, that's my advice. If you do
hit someone with your car, which we are all very
prone to hitting someone with our car because pedestrian hits
are up so much in this country because of distracted driving,
just hit someone who has been charged with molesting a
child before. Now it's hard to get charge those people,
but you can just tell, you know, in the way. Yeah.
(20:38):
I don't know how you are supposed to tell someone's
chid moluster, but chances are they are. But have they
got to cot with it? I don't know. Okay, we
have to go to break not everyone's child molestor I
was just joking. Okay, be back up with this. All right,
we are back. Let's do it quick before we get
into anything else. Noah, update, oh, because people are dying
to know what's going on. So she has been a
(20:59):
mom since Let's see, what did she tell us? Oh wait, no,
that's not the right threat. Okay, here we go. She
has been a mom since Saturday, April twenty seventh, twenty
twenty four. Wow. Congratulations, Noah, congratulations, Noah. It's a palindrome
birthday if you shortened the year. So four two seven
(21:20):
two four cool two that's cool. Her baby's name is
Toby tob Y Leah ku Lawi k u la w
y Toby Leah Kuwali cool lawi. Yeah, yeah, No.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
The last names yeah yeah, Kalawi.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Okay, that is her husband's last name. Toby is her name.
She's so cute. Wow.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
So Toby kind of like a guy's name as for
a girl. Usually it's like a unisex name, which I like.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah, it kind of is. Toby's are such a like
it's for a girl that's just such a girl who's
like precocious, knows who she is. I really do feel
like names dictate how someone is going to be, and
Toby is not going to be like soft spoken and
scared and insecure. Toby just like knows who she is
right out of the gate. You literally can't be a Toby.
Who's I don't think.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, I think I'm trying to think if I've met
at Toby.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Is there besides Toby Keith. I don't know any other
Toby's and.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I haven't met him. No, I don't really know, but
I think Toby is like a great name. It was
really uh, it's satisfied with that decision. She's just so cute.
She's sent a lot of pictures to me into the
girl's chat. Toby is a beautiful little girl. She has
Noah's I told her Noah that she has her eyes
and Noah's like, I don't see it. I keep seeing AVI.
(22:48):
What did Noah say? Yeah, she said that she sees
av No. Hold on, I have scrolled because we had
a huge conversation. Oh my god, oh yeah Toby, Oh
my god, she's so cute. Yeah, she is happy. And
I'm going to post this conversation that we had because
(23:09):
I go, how's tobes and she goes she sucks, and
I said and then I wrote, ha ha ha, and
she goes on my boobs all the time. I was like,
I like that.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Noah, Yeah, so good timing.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, right, She's like she says it's nice that she's
filling in and not so much like Gelatine, so it's
easier to handle her. Yeah, yeah, she's really happy, and
she just like we haven't talked a ton and heard
her on the Girl's Chat in a ton, but I
have let no one know that she has been missed
(23:44):
and that not only the fans missed her, but we
miss her and I miss her on girls Chat. But
she's just like in moms zone right now, which I'm
interested to find out from her, how like if it's boring,
if she wishes she were doing other stuff, or is
it just so fascinating all the time that you birth
this thing that you're kind of not bored, or are
you on your phone a lot? Like do you still
(24:05):
care about the stuff you used to care about now
that you've brought a baby into this world?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Interesting questions, yeah, And I don't know the answers, but
I do know what my brother went through, and I
can tell you that they all say that they're just
exhausted constantly. They can't think about like stuff they're interested
in because they're just tired. No, thank you, Yeah, that's what,
But I don't know. That's not my experience I never have.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Some people can have some people can have it all
and still be But also you almost don't want to
be interested in the same things you were interested in
because your life. That's why you had a kid, was
to bring meaning to your life, and you didn't want
your meaning to be like watching tiktoks all day like
you wanted more, And so it always makes me laugh.
I love Lisa Tragger's joke about how she's like my
friend who had kid. She's like, it's changed me, and
(24:51):
she's like, no, I just think now you're like you're
still an anorexic with but now you just have a kid.
Like you think that people won't care about stuff they
used to, but I think, Noah, Noah is still like
I'm looking at our chat and I'm like, oh, I
want to find Toby stuff, and it's like all stuff.
She's like asking about my life, and so she's still
like a really good friend, really present, is it making
(25:11):
everything about being a mom when she really could, like
I want to just say to all of my friends
with babies. Literally, I was like, send me a daily
Toby picture. I would There's no part of me that
would not want to look at a picture of my
best friend's baby, like it's just other babies not so much,
but like, especially like men who have babies, like I
(25:32):
don't really care because I just I mean, I'll look
at them, but I don't care as much as when
a when a mom I know has a baby, I'm
so much more like, show me everything about it. I've
noticed that when men are like, this is my baby,
I'm just like, and where's your wife? Show me a
picture of her, like, let's celebrate her for a second happens.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I mean, you know, the you just kind of like
lose track of your spouse when you have a kid.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Not that would be really hard for me as someone
who who likes attention that I would be very pregnant.
I would get so much attention, which I think is
you know, I've said and I'm working on a bit
about if you want as much attention as being a
celebrity of my stature gives you, you should get engaged
and talk about it a lot. Just mention you're engaged,
and people will have so many questions for you and
(26:19):
be very interested in your life. And also being pregnant
is a ton of attention. And then you have a
baby you don't look as you don't you look a
little bit pregnant, but if anyone does think you're still pregnant,
it's really insulting to you. It's not like a fun
feeling to be thought of as pregnant when you're not anymore.
And then people you're at home a lot because you're
not bringing the baby out, so all of a sudden,
(26:40):
you went from being like out and about with your
stomach and looking so cute, and everyone's going, oh, what
are you do all this attention to like you have
the baby. Then you get a flood of text, You're
sending a bunch of stuff to family members, and then
the baby's just it has to drop off. It has
to be a similar thing to what I'm going through
of like so much attention. Now everyone's seen it, Like
(27:00):
everyone that's seen the Roast is going to see the Roast.
It was number one on Netflix for two weeks, over
two weeks, and now it's not. It's trickling down the
top ten, and I feel it going like, oh no,
but everyone who's going to see it has seen it,
and it's millions and millions and millions of people. Yes,
but there is less attention less fun.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I have a baby to distract you from the lack
of attention.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
That's that's true. I don't well. What I will say
is I'm having more responsibility because of the roast things are,
things are being brought my way, and there's a lot
of like, Okay, you did this thing, and now people
are want more from you. Now you have just so
there's something that needs the industry needs to suckle at
those teats.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I mean, the fact that UTA made a car about
you is insane.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
It's so for those who don't know, Like my agency
is UTA and.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Which is one of the top four agencies, and there's
only four agencies that are really big and they represent
like every single star in the known universe.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, like Brad Pitt's at my agency, you know, like
it's it's and I only know that because and I
don't I don't even want to. I can't even say
how I feel about it. I like am grateful for
my agents. I really love all of them. But sometimes
I forget where I'm at. Like I literally I've been
at so many agencies. I'm like I think I'm at
ut Like it's changed so much and people change. But
I do love the individual people, but the agency itself
(28:22):
like the brand. I'm like, it's interchangeable to me, no
offense to.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
What they be good, but in general it can I have.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
A sports literally, I have a sports agent now, Brian,
I have Jerry. I'm not even joking you. I have
a sports agent. His name isn't Yes, his name is Ryan.
I'm so sorry, Ryan, I'm not remembering your last name.
But he is such a sports agent. He was you know,
I was on a zoom with all of them to
kind of like come together and be like what's going on.
(28:55):
And because I've been like a little bit of a
darling in the you know, in the sports world, because
of the roast and and because I was able to
say I don't know much about football in my roast set,
so no one it can expect me to know much
about football. I'm like squarely aligned with what I can
bring to the NFL, which is jokes about an outsider's
(29:16):
perspective that doesn't have to do with knowing exactly how
the game works. Like, I really feel comfortable working with
the NFL because they know who I am and they
don't want anything from me that isn't what I gave
it that roast, and I can give it that roast.
So I'm desp I like, can't wait to work with
the NFL. So uh, and I am getting into football
in a real way. Like I the other night, I
(29:36):
woke Chris up in the middle of the night to
be like, Okay, if they go for the conversion, do
they like, how many yards do they move back? Because
I couldn't find I was watching a tutorial on YouTube
and they kind of just skipped over it. And I'm like, no,
we don't understand what it means to and and Chris
that it can depend He said, anywhere from like three
yards to seven.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
If I go for a two point conversion, yeah, like
after a touchdown.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Well wait, is there a one point conversion that's.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Just called the extra point when you kick it through the.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah, that's just a kick. But if okay, so if
they're going for the two point conversion, I'm sorry, I
thought the conversion was just the play. Okay, if they're
going for the two point conversion, how many yards back?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
I don't know. I think it's like five.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Why would you guys know that? That seems like an
important thing to know, Like as soon as they changed
it and yeah, he s something changed it.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, I think it's five. I'm not sure, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Well, it's something you should know. Yeah, it wasn't a
question because it just was like talked about anyway I
and then so anyway I have Yeah, I have a
sports agent now and he is. He was like a
little bit more ballbustery than all the other ones on
the call. He was like, and I love Jerry Maguire
and that's my probably top five favorite movie. And it
(30:48):
was giving that and I really I just like the
sports people because they remind me of comics because they
talk shit and they're really honest, and there's just like
a I don't know, I think the sports world in
the comic world is really there's the Venn diagram is
of kind of like personalities is pretty is almost a circle.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, this makes so much sense. And it's not something
I ever would have like predicted for you or would
have even like been like, you know what, you should
like try to go into this field, But now that
it's here and it's happening, it just makes so much
sense that Nicki Glazer would be a sports NFL comedian.
You're just that you have the right personality, you have
the right types of jokes. I think it makes perfect
(31:31):
sense in my mind. But I would have never predicted it.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
No ever, And that's great. I love when things happen
in my career that I'm not like aiming for, because
then it always feels like I manipulated somehow to get it,
and this is just a natural thing. It's like I
like you and you like me. Oh my god, okay,
let's start dating. Like, yeah, I didn't even consider dating you.
It just feels like kind of just a meetcute of sorts,
and so, but yeah, Uta made a post about me
(31:56):
and my friend Dan Levy, not the one from Shit's Creek,
but Dan Levy. Uh, he's a comedian. He's written a
bunch of stuff. He's one of my favorite people. Comedian
Dan Levy spelled the same way as the other one,
but he he DMed me first and was like, oh,
you know, you've made it when Uta posts about you,
and I was like, oh my god. And so I
joked in my story and I was like, thank you,
(32:17):
my agency. And I hope people didn't think I was
actually being like thank you my agency. It was just
I was calling out that like an entity is celebrating
me and then an entity that literally is like, let's
just be honest, like they are into me because I'm
hot right now, and like, yes, they've believed in me
in certain ways, but they got on board once I was.
You know, they'll get rid of me when I'm not hot,
(32:39):
and I won't take any offense because that's just the
way this business works, and I expect it.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
That's more ag but that happens more frequent with age.
I feel like managers will hold on to you a
little bit longer.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Yeah, they wait.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Agents are like brutal, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I And that's the way it should be. Like they're
fuck boys, you know, like they're really They're gonna make
you have a great fucking time, but don't trust them
for the longhime. And that is what I realized. Show
business is. You cannot get into showbiz thinking that you are.
It's not a marriage that's gonna last forever. You will
be divorced, you will separate. You might you might stay
(33:14):
married but sleep in separate bedrooms the rest of your
life and always resent each other. But at some point,
unless you are maybe William Shatner or Betty White and
I've talked about this before it's it is a relationship
I am entering into knowing it will not be forever,
and it's just the way it is. And there's the
illusion that it's going to be forever because you're hot
(33:35):
right now and how could this go away? But every
piece of evidence, aside from a couple people, leads me
to believe it will not be forever. And if it is,
it will never be at the level that you think
it will be. It will ebb and flow. And so
I'm excited for this time in my life right now,
and I'm just working on figuring out what I want
(33:57):
to do next, because that's the I've always been able
to just kind of go I don't know, I'll see
what I want to do when it comes up, Like
I don't have any real goals, and now it's like, well,
you can kind of do anything you want, like what
do you want to make who do you want to
make it with? And like people are excited, like it's
just it's it's awesome, And but I also have to think,
(34:18):
do I want to spend my life on a movie set?
Do I want to send my life working on a
movie script with someone who might be great at writing movies.
But isn't that good of a hang? And the truth
is no, I don't care that much because it is
all fleeting. So if I win an Academy Award for
a comedy which has never been done but could be,
(34:39):
even that will be forgotten some day. It's all It's
about doing, working with fun people, and working with people
you admire. So I'm just consuming a lot right now
to be like, what kind of stuff, Where's there a
deficit in in movies and TV that I want to
fill that I would want to watch and what I
(34:59):
want to make something that is that thing? And right
now I'm thinking rom com movie. Rom com is something
I'm I'm like starting to imagine what that would look
like for me, because I watched a couple rom coms
last week, namely The Idea of You, which is Anna
(35:21):
Hathaway going to a Coachella and meeting a boy band
guy who is almost half her age. And that was
a movie that I saw, and true, now I have
to feel now I feel a little bit cagey about
talking shit. But here's the thing. I don't feel bad
talking shit about the movies because I know that the
(35:43):
people that made these movies probably set out to make
a great movie, and the script was probably great, and
the studios fucked it up. So I can always shit
on things knowing and not really offend to me. I'm
not attacking the writer or the performers or the directory necessarily,
who I think has a big hand and whether something
looks good. I can always rely on the fact that
(36:05):
probably the studio got in there and fucked this up
and made it unwatchable and made it insulting to people
who are watching it and are trying to actually be
challenged with how they think and where they see things going.
There's no challenge.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Coming from the writer's side of it. I can say
that there's probably a fifty percent chance that the writer
sucks and they wrote a shitty script and okay, they're
just not funny.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Well, I want to just air on the side of
the studios fucking it up, because it's easier to come
after a conglomerate. Is that the word than it is
in an individual? Yeah, technical away in silver Lake.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
I'm just same with agents. It's like, there can be
good agents, there could be good writers, but there's so
many of them that are not good. Yea, there's so
many of them that are bad. It's it's mind boggling.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Well, yeah, I don't know how it happened. And same
with comedians. There's so many bad comedians that are successful
because I think the problem is and I don't want
to sound elitist because I was. I just think that
some people are there needs to be entertainment for dumb people. Yeah,
it is. There are a lot of dumb people in
(37:09):
the world. And I'm saying dumb with with no judgment
that that dumb. It's just no, I'm not even judging it.
It's just a fact they have lower intelligence than other people.
It doesn't mean that they should die. It doesn't mean
I think they deserve worse lives. It just is true
that there are people with less intelligence that also deserve
to have a good time at the cinema, and they
(37:31):
are pro creating more than people who aren't. Like you know,
the one movie that no one like wasn't as popular
as it should be because people are dumb. Yeah, ideocracy,
it's it's inderocracy. So those people. When I get frustrated
a comedian who I think is just not challenging anyone
doing the most hacked stuff, I'm like, but and they're
selling out places. I go, well, these people are enjoying it.
(37:55):
They're not like lying to themselves. They actually are and
they deserve to have fun too. And just because they
aren't as intelligent doesn't mean that they deserve less or
I need to like hate them. I can be frustrated
with them because I want them to, because I think
with less intelligence comes less compassion and less kindness and
all and less introspection that leads to a better world.
(38:16):
So I get frustrated with the unintelligent people, but I'm
not mad that they like dumb things. I'm over that thing.
I'm like, Okay, this is for this isn't for me,
and not because and by the way, Oppenheimer's not for
me because I'm too stupid. So there's always something that's
for someone else. Like I'm.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
No, here's the beauty of it. If you're smart, you
can enjoy the dumb stuff too. You can go like, oh,
I'm gonna I'm gonna put I'm gonna put myself on
that head to have a good time.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
No, I don't. I don't think I can. No, you
know what, Yes, I can, because I can watch it
ironically and I can pause it and make fun of
how dumb they think we are, and why that makes
any fucking sense that that guy would like, Okay, we're
gonna go to break and I'm gonna come back and
talk about the idea of you, which is the Anne
Hathaway movie where she meets a guy to Coachella. And
(39:06):
I'm also gonna talk about the Sydney Sweeney movie anywhere
but here. And then I watched another one whatever it is. Literally,
these titles are terrible, too, terrible. What's the one with
Jennifer Lawrence? Another bad title that I cannot no strings
attached or no feelings hurt the kid not kid, but like, yeah,
(39:27):
it's all.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
It's and then becomes a garbage band and gets hit
by a teenager and I think there.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Is a garbage man involved in that movie. But anyway,
I want to talk about women's I want to talk
about sex scenes after this in rom comms. And if
you've seen these movies, which I know you girls have bussy's.
I know some of you have seen them. If not,
you need to watch them because they are entertaining to
make fun of and there's a little bit of fun
in them too, when you let yourself go and you go, baby,
(39:54):
that could be me meeting that guy after this. Okay,
So we put on the Idea of You the other
night because I'm like, okay, what's the state of the
rom com right now? And I've been wanting to see
the idea of You I heard. It really kind of
indulges women in this desire to meet a celebrity and
(40:14):
fall in love, which is something we all kind of
fantasize about. You run into the raw. You you're trying
to find the bathroom at Coachella, which who even knows
how she got back to those trailers. That wasn't really addressed,
but she walks into a trailer and she imagine this,
Imagine some you're at Coachella in a tent and and
you have to go to the bathroom, and you ask
(40:35):
where's the bathroom? And they go this way, So you go,
you walk that way, and that way just takes you
out into a field with a bunch of trailers. Now,
wouldn't you figure those trailers are for people that are
performing at the event you're at, and that maybe they're
not your bathroom. What don't you maybe find someone else
and go are their porta potties? Not this girl. She
just walks into a trailer. The trailer is seemingly empty
(40:56):
when she walks in, and then she walks to the
bathroom of the trailer and she tries to open it
and there's someone in there. Now, what would you or
anyone else do?
Speaker 1 (41:05):
And that's hot girl dumb. She she she's been, she's
not due her, but she's going without reason art.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Gallery and silver Lake. She is a she is a.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Well respectrabled privilege.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
She has bangs and a daughter, and she wears flowy dresses.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
But she's a hot girl. Like it's hot girl privilege
because she's been.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Doing stuff like that the way hot, which is like
super hot but like also approachable and can kind of
like that's even worse. Register is like quirky and she
you know, it's a movie.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
In the movie. I think they're trying to say that
everyone's agreed, agreeing in the movie that she's a hot person.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
But this is not This is not hot girl privilege.
They're not trying to be like, she just walks. This
is just they're trying to paint a picture in which
this could happen to you. So you walk into a
trailer and you knock on the door. You try to
open the bathroom of the trailer and there's someone in there,
what would you, and literally everyone in the world do.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I would if there's someone in the trailer I knocked
on it, I would probably say, oh my.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
God, you're inside the trailer and you knock on the
bathroom of the trail.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Oh my god. I Well, first of all, I wouldn't
even be in that situation. I wouldn't have the gall
to walk into a trailer and try to find the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Literally, no one would.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
That person would probably call the police. Would I would say,
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that
this was a trailer.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Perfect answer, Yeah, I shouldn't even be here. I'm sorry
that I'm knocking on your trailer door, your bathroom trailer door. Instead,
she sits and waits for the bathroom to be open.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
And so then this hot guy comes out. He looks
exactly like Matt Ryan.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Oh lucky.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
And this guy is so hot and young, and he's
supposed to be twenty four but he's really twenty nine.
And she's supposed to be forty but she's really forty two.
And her daughter is supposed to be sixteen and is
literally twenty three. It is so dumb. Her daughter, but
being her daughter who looks twenty three, goes to summer
camp with like a pillow und her arm, like a
sleepover summer camp at one point while her mom is
(43:03):
off banging this rock star pop star who's in a
band called us. It's called like August Moon, that's the
name of it. And yeah, yeah, totally. And so my
problem is sex scenes, and the sex scenes now are
not like actual sex. What they do in these shows
(43:23):
now is the woman will the guy will start will
approach her from behind and start kissing her neck and
they'll kind of kiss while she's in front of him,
and then there will be a arm that like you
see his hand like go down, and then you know
he's fingering her because clothes aren't coming off, and then
she will have a full blown orgasm on camera where
(43:45):
she is acting a fool yo like it happened with
the Natalie Portman thing, where she's like simulating sex in
that pet in that fish tank area in that movie
that she did with Julian Moore that everyone loved and
I didn't. I'm tired of watching these amazing actresses. No, no, no,
it was the one where she did she I like
(44:07):
panned it because I didn't understand it was suposed to
be ironical. No, no, no. Natalie Portman was in a
movie that was the last Oscar season.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
She was like.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Nominated for mm okay. I think it was with Julianne
Moore and then julian Moore fucked a kid in high school.
That yeah, that one.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
The garbage got it.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Yeah, so so she. But but I'm so tired of
watching women orgasm on camera. Is very vulnerable. I would
honestly rather see them just get like full penetrated. Would
rather see titch shaking and like getting slammed, then this
girl going and then going like oh and like biting
her lip. And it's like there is something going on
(44:44):
in Hollywood right now where people like to see women orgasm.
And by the way, we never have to see the
guy orgasm, not that anyone wants to see that, but
we never ever see him. He's just stoically fingering and
kind of just like looking hot and cool while she
he's writhing around like she's having an exorcism. And it's
so embarrassing, and I really think actresses need to stand
(45:07):
the fuck up and maybe they wanted to do this
and say I'm not gonna do porn for you because
why like.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
People, it feels like they want to, Like like did
Emma Stone want to that? And poor things? She was
like basically it was like a porn for her for
a lot of it. Did she say I want to
do this because it's like as sexuality.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
I'm sure she did, because she seems like someone that
I listen no matter how much you think you want
to do things. The fact that it's even written in
is part is because a man, because they know women
having sex cells, you don't need to show sex all
the time. And I'm someone who loves pornography, I obviously
love to talk about sex very openly. I don't feel
(45:51):
like I need a sex scene in every fucking movie.
I think that making out is enough. Even that grosses
me out. Sometimes we know what sex looks like, hopefully
we've all seen it, and so you can just have
a couple laying down kissing and then waking up in
the morning.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Niki, it's all you need, your Mormon phase, your puritan phase.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Final thought, I just think it's taking advantage of women
to have to writhe around and have orgasms on an
otherwise PG. Thirteen movie, and it gets away with being
PG thirteen because it's not explicit the guy.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
What if you saw the guy orgasm too, would that
make it fair and easy? Yes?
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yes, absolutely, yes, yes, but it wouldn't be because for
some reason that's disgusting and are hilarious.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
A man orgasming is one of the funniest things on
planet Earth.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
I think. I think the whole discussion of like women
being women having sexist beautiful and men not is not
beautiful is a way for them to convince women that
it's art when we have to come on camera and
to make us do it more so it's artistic, and
men it's gross and it's like, no, it's all. If
you're trying to portray what really happens in the world,
you need to show the man coming too, And in fact,
(47:00):
you should show the woman coming a lot less and
you should show her not coming fucking ten seconds after
he starts touching her. Yeah, it's insane, And I just
don't want to see Anna Hathaway orgasming, and I don't
want to see who else Sidney Sweeney orgasming in a shower,
And we didn't need to see her nipples in that scene.
I hope she got paid so fucking much for that
(47:21):
shower scene where you see her nipple for a half
a second. Sidney, see, yeah, you see her nipple.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Well, you see her nipple in Euphoria a lot too,
So she's known for showing her nipples.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Good for her. Which if I my tits look like
that too, I would show them off. But I just
find it, like I just I just think there's some
corsion involved in I don't want to take anything from
these women who have full autonomy over themselves. I just
think that if it's written in the script for you
to be topless, yeah you can negotiate how topless, But
why do we need to be topless? Can't Sidney Sweety's
(47:52):
talent speak for itself.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I don't know. But if it's like seeing a movie
where Sidney Sweeney is not topless is like watching of
Michael Jordan.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Well then maybe we don't put Sidney Sweeney in things.
If we have her talent can't stand alone without seeing
her nipple, we don't put her in things. I don't
think that's what you should do. I like Sidney Sweeney's acting,
but I think that if it's not good enough and
you have to show her tits.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Maybe maybe, but it's like she's got this great trick
that she could perform, and it's like you don't do it,
you listen, don't have to do it every time, but
it is like it is it gives her a leg up.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
I just picture a male director behind the camera like
it's I just and and I don't mean to take
anything from these women. This is gonna get to wait
for this to show up on a fucking page. Six.
Nikki Glazer slam Sidney Sweeney for not standing up for
yourself at an hour.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
I defend Sidney Sweeney. I think she should be allowed
to show her tits and anything she wants. It's perfectly fine.
I'm on her side on this one.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
I am also offside and I I just pose nude
for Peta. You can see my full tit minus my nipple.
You can see everything. It's coming out. I think it'll
be out tomorrow, which is the day this comes out,
So go check out my pa ad. I am fully nude,
and I did it because I like the campaign, because
it's for Peta, and I support Peta and any kind
(49:12):
of attention Pita gets will be great. And if my
nude body gets more eyes on the fact that you
shouldn't wear fur or you know, leather, then great or wool.
But also I wanted to get naked. I am in
a place in my life where i'm can And yes,
Sidney Sweeney might be in a place in her life
too where she can get naked and feel really good
about it, and she should be because she looks amazing.
(49:33):
But I just feel there's just an inkling in me
that we are being served this because we don't feel
like it's good enough on its own.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
And I think your inklings are correct. I mean it,
definitely there's been men saying that this is what you
need to do in order to succeed. But I do
feel like this new generation of people, these new generations,
are more comfort with nudity for some reason.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
As they should be. And you know what I am,
I'm kind of changing my mind. Page six, Stop writing
your little headline about me shaming Anne Hathaway and Sidney Sweeney.
I hope you listen to this far because I keep
getting clipped by page six for these fucking things I
say on podcasts that are so out of context. It
is a nightmare. And like I truly I said about
Ben Affleck. I said on We Might Be Drunk the podcast,
(50:24):
I said, they were talking about Ben Affleck's performance at
the roast, and I was like, oh, I think I
know what happened. Like he didn't take it seriously. He
thought it was probably beneath him. This was just a speculation.
He thought it was beneath him, and he didn't prepare
as much as he should. And I said, which I
have done a million times in my career, where you
don't know how big something's going to be, and you
do kind of think it's beneath you and you kind
of phone it in. I literally empathized with him. I
(50:47):
didn't say it was a bad choice on his part.
I didn't slam him. It was. But no one's going
to listen to the podcast. They're just gonna see that
I slammed Ben Affleck. Especially Ben Affleck, if you ever
saw that, I'd be embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
To meet him. Now.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
Shit, I know I know he's he's getting slammed so
much in the media that he's not going to pay attention.
That's what I told my dad, because my dad was like,
you need to find Ben Affleck and tell him you
didn't mean that. I'm like, he doesn't care to.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
I know that's all bullshit. But at page six, if
you are listening, I want you to write into the
article that straight white male comedian Brian Frangie defended Sidney
Sweeney's right to go topless in any movie that she wants.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
I I want her to go topless too in all things,
because they are amazing and they're fun to look at,
and she is so sexy and it does, I guess,
add to her character. But I and I will also say,
they gave us a lot of Glenn Powell nude and
I do appreciate that. I want to say from the
bottom of my heart that, and they definitely there was
a There was a dick in that movie. It wasn't
(51:44):
Glenn Powell's. I wouldn't mind seeing his in a movie
coming up if he feels like that. He's at a
point in his career where his acting needs that help.
Not saying that's what Sidney even thinks, but I do.
I did appreciate a very naked Glenn Pale throughout it,
and as a woman, I felt scene and I was
(52:04):
glad for that. So I guess it was even, but
I don't want to see any more orgasming on for
our sex scenes. Give me. If you're gonna have a
sex scene, make it nude, make it messy. Let's get
in there. Let's let's actually have a sex scene. Let's
make this an R rated thing. Don't keep a PG
and have people orgasming because it is.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
That's interesting now, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Indecent for little kids to go to a PG thirteen
thing and see a woman thriving around and having convulsions.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Now I'm on board. I get what you're saying. It's like,
if you're gonna do a sex scene, then do a
sex scene. Don't just throw in. Don't throw a towel
over a woman and see her riding and be like
that's not sex. It's like that joke that Luis c
k joke about the N word, where if like you
said the N word, now I know I'm now I'm
saying it in my head. Now you're making me say it,
you piece of shit. Yeah, same thing with the sex scene.
(52:49):
It's like we know what they're doing. The kids are
subconsciously knowing what they're doing. It's like where you're imagining
it now, Well.
Speaker 2 (52:55):
I want to you know what, as a kid watching that,
I'd go like, what is he doing to her? And
what is what's what's happening to her? Is she being electrocuted?
Like it? With more information and more of a context,
I think that it would be less confusion and less
like kind of scarring because it is. Please go watch
(53:16):
the scene where she's getting fingered by the guy. It's
probably three quarters of it's probably half the way through
the movie, half of the way, half the way through
the movie.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Half the way through the movie. But the but sex,
it should be a kiss on the cheek. And then
we just assume.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
I watched Mister and Missus Smith last night because I
was craving some actual chemistry between two leads, which I
will say Saidie Sweeny and Glen Pell had amazing chemistry.
YEA loved it. And then but mister and Missus Smith,
Holy shit what. I lost interest immediately because I don't
like action, so I'd stopped any scene where there was
like shooting going on. I wasn't I was on my phone.
(53:53):
But the Jennifer Aniston didn't stand a chance having her
husband come back from that film.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
Oh yeah, no. Like similarly, Ben affleck did you watch
Deep Water?
Speaker 2 (54:05):
Oh? Yeah, I know you're a big fan of that.
That was fucking steamy as shit.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Yea, and they they were together.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
I love watching movies where they got together. That's why
I went back and watched Mister and Missus Smith because
I go, I know they were fooled around during this.
I can't imagine how hot it is and it was
pretty good. All Right, we have to go. Thank you
so much for joining us. We'll be back tomorrow on
the podcast Besties Are the Best. You know, we love
you. You're my number one fans, You're my ogs. We have
a lot of new listeners, welcome to the show. It
(54:32):
is this every time. And we do have some Taylor
Swift gush Fest episode coming up on Friday that I
want to warn people about. That is if you're a
new bestie and you're not a Taylor Swift ted, you
might go, what the fuck is this? That episode's not
for you. It's just bonus content for like Swifty besties,
and it really is. You will not understand it and
you will be almost mad at me for the way
I talk on it. So I wouldn't recommend listening to
(54:55):
that unless you're swifty, but we will have two episodes
this week normally. So bye Brian, bye, and wish Noah
all the love for Toby who's born on April twenty seventh.
And and I know she misses you, guys and misses
hearing from you, So shoot her a note if you
if you feel inclined to congratulate her and to keep
her company. That's all for the show. Brian is gone,
(55:16):
he went to a doctor's appointment. My producer who's filling
in Olivia is I think in the other room. And
so I'm all alone, just talking to Nolan. You guys
are the best, Dobeka and come see me on tour.
So many new dates coming out Kikeyglazer dot com. New
one's added for June, so I'm coming to Chandler Arizona.
That one was just freshly announced. But there's so many
(55:37):
because you know, I'm having a moment, So dates are
filling up a new David, So if you haven't took
my dates in a while, go do that. Nicki Glazer
dot com and I can't wait to see what I
have show love you guys, me in Abe. Good Bye,
The Nikki Glaser Podcast Glazers.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello here, I am Snicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show.
It's Nicky Glazer. I'm here with Brian Frangie. I'm not
here with him, but he's here on Indian Spirit. Yeah,
I mean and more than that video. I see your
face moving.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
That's audio.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You're actually you're not here in spirit. That's the linking
you are here in for me. How's how's your going?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Uh? Mine's going good. I uh, I'm doing all right. Well,
you know, I'm doing terrible as usual, but I'm me
and I my headspace is decent, which is good.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh okay.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I feel like now this is an interesting time. This
is probably this is obviously not more interesting than your
last two weeks, which have been a whirlwind, roller coaster
ride of insanity. Yes, but I feel like this period
is the frequently and not talked about period, which I
would like to call the reflections period, where things start
(01:05):
to slow down and now you're like, what just happened? Yeah?
And how do I feel now?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah? That's a good point. Thank you for the dovetailing
this into about me after I asked you how you
were doing well. I don't want to do good headspace.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I don't want to spiral into you know what am
I going to talk about? You know, everything that's going wrong?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Let's talk about Well, let me guess your you can't sleep,
your teeth hurt, your dog is restless, and your wife
is happy and her spirits are high, which can be
annoying at times. There's uh, coconuts fallen down from pine
cones are starting to fall.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah. No, it's in the season where the pine cones
are falling and it's dangerous out there.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I can't even go outside my house without worrying.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah. Well, we'll get into your anxieties because I think
it all tracks together of like all the things. You know, Uh,
we're we're all going through things right now. If you're
not going through something, get out. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You know. Someone once told me I was like complaining
about something. It was like I was confiding in a
friend over lunch about a problem.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Big mistake.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I know, that was my first mistake. You can't confide
in friends. That's what you go that's what you go
to the anything.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So I was talking to him and he said this thing,
and it made me so mad. He goes, well, everyone's
dealing with something and I wanted to jump across the
table and cut his head off with a butter knife.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
So why are people so bad at being friends or
like just saying the right thing like this whole? Haven't
Haven't we all seen enough memes of like when people
say they're starving kids, not memes, but just like culturally
we make fun of like, well they're starving kids in Africa.
Stop complaining or whatever it is that it don't We
(02:54):
all know that it doesn't matter, and that yes, we
have it better than any group of people in the
history of human like human beings existing for thousands of years,
we have a better hundreds of thousands of years. We
have a better than any of them lifestyle wise, and
yet we're all miserable. It doesn't matter because the reason
we're miserable is because we feel lack of purpose. Because
(03:15):
we used to always just be hunting and gathering, trying
to stay alive, trying to not get eaten, trying to
make sure our babies don't die, trying to find drinking water.
Like we were consumed with purpose and ye every waking second,
and you didn't have time to get depressed.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Wait wait, wait, wait, so you're telling me the cavemen
weren't dealing with seventeen different types of pillows and not
knowing which one is going to be best for your nick.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I mean, I wonder at what point they realized, like
that some of them were getting different moss that would
resemble like a temp repedic, you know, like and we're upgrading,
and then that moss became like you like, at what point, Yeah, there.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Was probable point the caveman moss become an issue. I mean,
probably right around the time that Jesus said came around.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah. I mean, honestly, Brian, our issues, your issues with
the pillows, it's it's bigger than that. It's it's deeper.
There's something else going on. All of the things that
I worry about are just masking for some other thing
in my life that I'm not ready to address. I mean,
my wrist has been hurting recently, like carbal Tunnel, and man,
(04:27):
I've been doing such a good job of every time
it acts up, I just go, it's all in my head.
It's all in my head. It's all in my head,
And this isn't real, This isn't an injury, this isn't
my I'm picturing like where it's hurting and that it's
enflamed and there's tendonitis. Even so I just go, it's
all in my head and it's been going away. When
I do that, oh really, yeah, it works, yeah, and
it goes And then it starts hurting again when I
(04:48):
start stressing about this very specific thing in my life
a volleyball game I have coming up. No, it starts
hurting immediately when I start stressing about a specific area
of my life that I'm stressed about. And then there's
this back injury I have that you know, always flares
up when there's some kind of stress going on, and
I always go, no, I twisted it in pilates or
(05:09):
whatever I tell myself, which could be true. Like I
was aggravating things in plates one day and then I
was I couldn't move my neck for a couple days.
But I also was going through a ton of stress.
And I think it's that I would I'm not like
people who want to be injured. I would rather it
be in my head.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
That is.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's why I think I can get over these things
so quickly, because as soon as I go it's in
your head. I really accept that and then it goes away,
which is the sort of it. You have to accept it.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
The beauty of it is even if you do have
an injury like a muscle pull, not not if your
like bone is broken or something, but if you have
a muscle pull or strain or something like that, and
you just make your head say it's fine, it's okay,
then even though it's injured and it's hurting, your brain
learns to kind of ignore it and you just kind
of proceed and it's like, yeah, it's kind of annoying
and kind of limiting, but it becomes pushed back into
(05:58):
the depths of your consciousness so that you're not really
focused on it and it doesn't bother you.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, pain can be mitigated, pain can be lessened. Like
your pain is your nerves feeling something, and you can psychologically,
you can kind of turn off your nerves with meditation
and with mindfulness. Like it actually does work and it
doesn't take away from the fact that you are injured.
But what it does take away from is the fact
that you get to complain like you don't have control
(06:23):
over it, and that's something people really like to do.
And the fact is you can have control over it.
You just have to do things that seem kind of
woo woo and hard and and you know, and maybe
you don't want to do them, and you don't have
control over it because you're the type of person that
will never believe in that stuff and you were born
that way and you can't help it. So you deserve
to feel your pain. It's all okay. But I will
say in talking about the it's we're two weeks out
(06:46):
of the roast. Yeah, the night my life changed from
New York. I was in New York. I just got
back from I did a week of press right after
the roast. I did a week of press in LA
for my special. My special came out that next Saturday,
and then I did. I flew from LA to New
York and did a week three days of press in
New York, two days really, but I was there three
(07:08):
days for my special and you know, obviously the rows stuff.
And then I flew back Thursday to Saint Louis. Was
there for or Wednesday night. Was there Thursday, and then
went to go see my dad play music Thursday night,
fun Little Saint Louis Night, and then Friday was in Vegas,
UH for two shows with David Spade Friday and Saturday.
(07:30):
Those were sold out. They haven't been before.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Something something changed.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I mean they were close. Yeah, grown Ups three is
in the mix being being floated. No, I don't know.
So that was really fun and those shows were just
so fun. And I got to hang with friends and
relax by the pool during the day and it was
just a great time. And then came home to Saint
Louis on Sunday and today is Tuesday, and I'm feeling
(07:59):
it's a little weird being back and feeling like, but
I'm not. I'm not having the crash because I knew
there would be of like if I led this attention
in too much, and I'm too like, Oh my god,
my life is so good right now. Everyone loves me,
everyone wants a piece of me. My numbers are going up.
I just knew it would go away because it's the
it will, and so I I didn't let it into much.
(08:21):
I led it in enough. I'm proud of myself, which
I don't think pride is a good quality. So I'm
I'm grateful for everything how my life landed up here.
I'm grateful that for everything that led me to doing
well at that roast, the hard work, the people who
helped me, the parents who believed in me to even
have this career, being a woman born in a country
(08:44):
that can even say dirty things like all the things
that led me to believe.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
To be the man that the garbage man. You know,
without them, you wouldn't even have.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You have garbage, Yes that I have. I hit a
garbage sport. Did I tell you that?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I know. When I was in high school, I hit
a garbagevan with my car and I went to he
sued me, and yeah, it was a whole thing. No,
I actually won. They divvied up the blame. They said
I was thirty percent to blame and he was seventy percent,
and so we only had to pay him thirty percent
of what he was asking, which was ideal because if
(09:21):
he would have gotten zero, he would have just appealed it.
So it was honestly, our lawyers were like, thirty percent
is exactly what you want because any lower he would
have done it again.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Right, Oh god, you know these garbage men have been
getting off too easy for too long.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
And I'll just tell you, never speed and I wasn't speeding,
but never always cautiously go past the garbage truck because
they will jump out. They might not hear your car.
It might be like one of those like I've avoided
so many different pedestrian incidents because I've just been I'm
obsessed with not hitting someone again.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, well, they're you know, they're constantly jumping off. It's
like Universal Studio. It's like it's like they're just jumping
off and jumping out from behind the truck and garing you.
And because they don't they're not thinking. It's they wake
up at four o'clock in the morning to pick up
trash and they have to jump off the do you
have the guys it's the used to be the guys
that hang off the back of the truck and they
(10:13):
have to physically get off and dump and now and
at least in Culver City, it's like the arms that
go out the mechanical arms that grab.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
We have both.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, those guys were jumping off, but they are very
savvy about what when to jump and when not like
usually they are. I was in an area when I
hit a garbage man. It was at night. It was
about it was like dust.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Garbage man in the morning.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, sorry, not dust ran at night, like dusk is
like when the sun's going down, right, Like it was
probably like dusk is down. Yeah, So it was around
six o'clock, which in my neighborhood we only have garbage
been in the morning, and so.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Why would a garbageman be out at night. It's so weird.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
So I was I thought it was parked like, I
didn't even think, so I just went past it at
a normal speed and then he jumped out. And then
when I was on trial, they were making me out
to be some like kind of white privileged yeah bitch,
because he was. He was not a white man. And
I think it was about like, she just is driving
recklessly and doesn't care about black people, and she was
and it was just like and I said, I do
(11:16):
think it was part of the I do think it
was part of their prosecution, was to make me out.
And and you know, so.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
If it was a white garbage man, you would have swerved.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Around if it was not even that. It was just
like maybe it wasn't about him being black, It was
about me being white and entitled and not. And I
was in an area of my town that had garbage
men pick up at night, So I guess that made
that a poorer part of town or something, and I'm
from the elitist part of town where because I said,
(11:46):
I never knew garbage men worked past the morning or like,
you know, midday, I'd never seen a garbage truck out.
And they're like, oh, so the neighborhoods you go in,
garbage men only work in the morning. They like, well,
it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I don't know garbage pick up white. I didn't even
know that.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
That's how I just thought that was when they pick
it up.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I just know, so they go to the white neighborhoods first,
and then if they have time, they'll go to the
black neighborhoods and pick up the garbage.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't think it was it was. It was more
because I was not in a It was just in
an area that was probably not as well off as mine, right.
And so they also made me, the woman made me
out to be like you were just driving la la La.
I'm not even joking you. This was the first stand
up thing I've ever did, because I was on the
stand and she was this woman defending this guy, and
(12:35):
she goes, so you were with your friend blaring music,
just driving la la la la la, just driving down
the road and I go, well, I didn't look like that,
and it killed. Dude. The whole jury laughed because I
just go, I didn't look like that, and it I mean,
it was I'm not even joking you was the first
time publicly I had gotten laughter. I think i'd start
(12:56):
started stand up the next year, or maybe I was
still doing something. It was just there was something about
it that I was like, ooh, that killed. And then
I had them on my side because.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
You're in the when said that, Yeah, I was on
the witness stand and the microphone out of the witness
stand I dropped walking around.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I took it out and then I dropped it. Wow, yeah,
it was great.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I said, you're gonna have to pay for that.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
That's actually yeah, we'll put that towards that thirty percent.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
You wo.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
They know it was. It was an interesting trial. The
craziest part of the trial was I really I've said
this on podcasts before, so I'm sorry if long term
besties have heard this many times. They were I think
it was gonna go like fifty to fifty. Maybe maybe
they were even gonna give me more of the blame.
And I swear to God this happened. I'm on the stand,
(13:45):
and oh no, I'm not on the stand. I'm in
I'm like sitted at sitted. I'm seated at the you
know where OJ sat or whatever, you know, like where
you sit on the trial. I'm just like thinking of.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Like, yeah, on his wife's corpse.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, and and my his he's on the stand. The
guy that I hit, which, by the way, when I
hit him, I hit him and he was taken away
an ambulance, and I tried to get information about what
happened to him, and I never heard anything until four
years later, right before the statute ran out, we get
a call from his lawyer. Suit then I had to
go do a deposition. Taylor had to go do a deposition.
(14:21):
Taylor mcgath, she was in the car with me and
so I'm on the rondage.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Did some great sound effects during her deposition sound effects.
She is, well, she always makes noises.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, she's good at noises and she's good at and
then she was like, I'm not good to do that,
and we were like, oh no, yeah, I could see
her doing that.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
No.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
We were listening to Z one oh seven, probably loudly,
but that's like allowed. It's not like I would have
not hit a garbage man if.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I wasn't remember the song.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
No, but I'm sure it was something like jaw rules,
like everybody want to live it up? What do I
do every mony? I don't live it up?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Ru Maybe that would have helped you, you know, Fiona
Apple bullshit and you're like, actually it was jaw.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You hit a black man, but at least you're supporting
black excellence in pop music. No, I am. I went
over to his body because he was laying in the grass.
He had jumped up and I hit his legs. So
if he hadn't jumped, he would have gone under and
it would have been horrible.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
He was laying in the ground.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Dude, I hit a man severely, Like I'm not getting
you like trauma, like from this. I almost killed a man.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
So he dropped from behind the truck.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
So he I was driving. Our car's got parallel right,
My car is going there. We're facing different directions. He's
on the side of street. I think he's parked because
it's a garbage truck past hours and it's I don't
see lights, I don't see moving it's and it's a dusk,
and I doubt he had lights on, because I don't
think we did. And my car, my mom's land cruiser,
little white bitch driving our mom's big old land Cruiser,
(15:56):
gets parallel with the back of his truck and he
jumps out to get a garbage can across the street.
And I see him run out. We lock eyes. It
is slow motion, and he jumps and then my car
just hits his legs and he goesubling into the street
and then into the grassy knoll. Yeah, he's laying in
(16:18):
a grassy knoll. And I pull forward, like I stop,
and then I look at Taylor and I'm like, oh
my god. And then I start laughing because that is
a response, a trauma response. I found out. I felt
really embarrassed about laughing before because there's nothing funny about it,
but I just couldn't. I thought it was a dream
kind of and so I just had to laugh because
it was just my like a lot of times ridiculous.
(16:40):
They will see people, like even rape victims will like
laugh before it when it's happening, or like when people
are getting you know, it's a common response to being terrified.
And so I remember laughing and then I remember feeling
really bad about laughing, and so I stopped. And then
there was a part of me that was like, just run,
just go, just drive, like I do see the psychology
(17:02):
behind a hit and run, because there is this thing
in you that's like fight or flight and you're about
to either go to prison. And also I hate seeing
bloody injuries, and so I was like, I'm the first
on the scene. I'm I know all of this is
sound horrible, and if you've never lived something like it,
you can totally point at me and be like, you're
not compassionate. You didn't get up. I just I don't
like gore and I was too scared to see it.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
And I and you're a teenager, remember that?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah? Can everyone remember I was sixteen and my brain
had not developed properly, so I didn't run obviously, But
I will say I don't even need to share the
fact that I thought that. I'm only sharing it because
I do. I did feel it, and I didn't. And
then my mom had a car phone, like one of
the first car phones, you know, the ones that would
like latch on and have the big buttets on the outside.
(17:46):
So I called nine to one one and I didn't
want to get out of the car because I was
so scared.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
But that's her white privilege help the situation.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
There we go, We're one of the first ones with carphone,
and I think we had one nineteen ninety five and
so then and this is too who this is yeah,
two thousand. So then he uh so. Then I got
out and all of his garbage truck friends colleagues are
surrounding him, and then one of them comes up to
me and is like, he's always jumping out. I told
(18:14):
him this was gonna happen. He's never looking out. That
really helped. Well. That guy changed his story by the
time he gets to the stand. But I swear to
God that I only remember it not because I was
like trying to find evidence it wasn't my fault. I
remember it because he said it so many times to
me and was trying to calm me down and was like,
this is not your fault over and over and over,
(18:35):
and so I remembered it because I needed that. And
so by the time we were sued four years later,
that guy was mum on that kind of language, and
I was only my hearsay. But on the on during
the trial, we got to go to break. He is
on the stand and his attorney and I know I've
(18:56):
told this before, so I really I'm sorry. We'll talk
about other things after this. His attorney is cross examining
him and asks him, have you ever been charged with
a felony? He said yes. We're like, hmm, what was
the charge? Child molestation?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Oh? God, well it's over.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
It was over. I don't feel like it's fair that
it was over. But my side of things, we didn't
even know about that my side, And I promise you
this really happened. He said that I waited about twenty
seconds so it wouldn't be connected. But I turned around.
My mom was in the very back of the courtroom,
and I just looked at her and raised my eyebrows,
like this is done. Because the whole jury had already
(19:39):
laughed at my joke. They were kind of like making
fun of the circus that was his attorneys that were
being so buffoonish in interrogating me. And then they find
out he's a child molester, and it's just like, you're
not going to give that guy money, And it's not
fair because it shouldn't be connected and he should not
have to be judged for that, but it did come
up and his atturny he brought it up.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
No one even asked attorney sucks. That's what happens when
you don't have money to afford and it's probably like
a cheap billboard attorney or something. But you're a hero,
Nikki Glazer, right around town running down child molesters. You're
a hero in the end.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yes, But you know, that's my advice. If you do
hit someone with your car, which we are all very
prone to hitting someone with our car because pedestrian hits
are up so much in this country because of distracted driving,
just hit someone who has been charged with molesting a
child before. Now it's hard to get charge those people,
but you can just tell, you know, in the way. Yeah.
(20:38):
I don't know how you are supposed to tell someone's
chid moluster, but chances are they are. But have they
got to cot with it? I don't know. Okay, we
have to go to break not everyone's child molestor I
was just joking. Okay, be back up with this. All right,
we are back. Let's do it quick before we get
into anything else. Noah, update, oh, because people are dying
to know what's going on. So she has been a
(20:59):
mom since Let's see, what did she tell us? Oh wait, no,
that's not the right threat. Okay, here we go. She
has been a mom since Saturday, April twenty seventh, twenty
twenty four. Wow. Congratulations, Noah, congratulations, Noah. It's a palindrome
birthday if you shortened the year. So four two seven
(21:20):
two four cool two that's cool. Her baby's name is
Toby tob Y Leah ku Lawi k u la w
y Toby Leah Kuwali cool lawi. Yeah, yeah, No.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
The last names yeah yeah, Kalawi.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Okay, that is her husband's last name. Toby is her name.
She's so cute. Wow.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
So Toby kind of like a guy's name as for
a girl. Usually it's like a unisex name, which I like.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah, it kind of is. Toby's are such a like
it's for a girl that's just such a girl who's
like precocious, knows who she is. I really do feel
like names dictate how someone is going to be, and
Toby is not going to be like soft spoken and
scared and insecure. Toby just like knows who she is
right out of the gate. You literally can't be a Toby.
Who's I don't think.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Yeah, I think I'm trying to think if I've met
at Toby.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Is there besides Toby Keith. I don't know any other
Toby's and.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I haven't met him. No, I don't really know, but
I think Toby is like a great name. It was
really uh, it's satisfied with that decision. She's just so cute.
She's sent a lot of pictures to me into the
girl's chat. Toby is a beautiful little girl. She has
Noah's I told her Noah that she has her eyes
and Noah's like, I don't see it. I keep seeing AVI.
(22:48):
What did Noah say? Yeah, she said that she sees
av No. Hold on, I have scrolled because we had
a huge conversation. Oh my god, oh yeah Toby, Oh
my god, she's so cute. Yeah, she is happy. And
I'm going to post this conversation that we had because
(23:09):
I go, how's tobes and she goes she sucks, and
I said and then I wrote, ha ha ha, and
she goes on my boobs all the time. I was like,
I like that.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Noah, Yeah, so good timing.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, right, She's like she says it's nice that she's
filling in and not so much like Gelatine, so it's
easier to handle her. Yeah, yeah, she's really happy, and
she just like we haven't talked a ton and heard
her on the Girl's Chat in a ton, but I
have let no one know that she has been missed
(23:44):
and that not only the fans missed her, but we
miss her and I miss her on girls Chat. But
she's just like in moms zone right now, which I'm
interested to find out from her, how like if it's boring,
if she wishes she were doing other stuff, or is
it just so fascinating all the time that you birth
this thing that you're kind of not bored, or are
you on your phone a lot? Like do you still
(24:05):
care about the stuff you used to care about now
that you've brought a baby into this world?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Interesting questions, yeah, And I don't know the answers, but
I do know what my brother went through, and I
can tell you that they all say that they're just
exhausted constantly. They can't think about like stuff they're interested
in because they're just tired. No, thank you, Yeah, that's what,
But I don't know. That's not my experience I never have.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Some people can have some people can have it all
and still be But also you almost don't want to
be interested in the same things you were interested in
because your life. That's why you had a kid, was
to bring meaning to your life, and you didn't want
your meaning to be like watching tiktoks all day like
you wanted more, And so it always makes me laugh.
I love Lisa Tragger's joke about how she's like my
friend who had kid. She's like, it's changed me, and
(24:51):
she's like, no, I just think now you're like you're
still an anorexic with but now you just have a kid.
Like you think that people won't care about stuff they
used to, but I think, Noah, Noah is still like
I'm looking at our chat and I'm like, oh, I
want to find Toby stuff, and it's like all stuff.
She's like asking about my life, and so she's still
like a really good friend, really present, is it making
(25:11):
everything about being a mom when she really could, like
I want to just say to all of my friends
with babies. Literally, I was like, send me a daily
Toby picture. I would There's no part of me that
would not want to look at a picture of my
best friend's baby, like it's just other babies not so much,
but like, especially like men who have babies, like I
(25:32):
don't really care because I just I mean, I'll look
at them, but I don't care as much as when
a when a mom I know has a baby, I'm
so much more like, show me everything about it. I've
noticed that when men are like, this is my baby,
I'm just like, and where's your wife? Show me a
picture of her, like, let's celebrate her for a second happens.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I mean, you know, the you just kind of like
lose track of your spouse when you have a kid.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Not that would be really hard for me as someone
who who likes attention that I would be very pregnant.
I would get so much attention, which I think is
you know, I've said and I'm working on a bit
about if you want as much attention as being a
celebrity of my stature gives you, you should get engaged
and talk about it a lot. Just mention you're engaged,
and people will have so many questions for you and
(26:19):
be very interested in your life. And also being pregnant
is a ton of attention. And then you have a
baby you don't look as you don't you look a
little bit pregnant, but if anyone does think you're still pregnant,
it's really insulting to you. It's not like a fun
feeling to be thought of as pregnant when you're not anymore.
And then people you're at home a lot because you're
not bringing the baby out, so all of a sudden,
(26:40):
you went from being like out and about with your
stomach and looking so cute, and everyone's going, oh, what
are you do all this attention to like you have
the baby. Then you get a flood of text, You're
sending a bunch of stuff to family members, and then
the baby's just it has to drop off. It has
to be a similar thing to what I'm going through
of like so much attention. Now everyone's seen it, Like
(27:00):
everyone that's seen the Roast is going to see the Roast.
It was number one on Netflix for two weeks, over
two weeks, and now it's not. It's trickling down the
top ten, and I feel it going like, oh no,
but everyone who's going to see it has seen it,
and it's millions and millions and millions of people. Yes,
but there is less attention less fun.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I have a baby to distract you from the lack
of attention.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
That's that's true. I don't well. What I will say
is I'm having more responsibility because of the roast things are,
things are being brought my way, and there's a lot
of like, Okay, you did this thing, and now people
are want more from you. Now you have just so
there's something that needs the industry needs to suckle at
those teats.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I mean, the fact that UTA made a car about
you is insane.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
It's so for those who don't know, Like my agency
is UTA and.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Which is one of the top four agencies, and there's
only four agencies that are really big and they represent
like every single star in the known universe.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, like Brad Pitt's at my agency, you know, like
it's it's and I only know that because and I
don't I don't even want to. I can't even say
how I feel about it. I like am grateful for
my agents. I really love all of them. But sometimes
I forget where I'm at. Like I literally I've been
at so many agencies. I'm like I think I'm at
ut Like it's changed so much and people change. But
I do love the individual people, but the agency itself
(28:22):
like the brand. I'm like, it's interchangeable to me, no
offense to.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
What they be good, but in general it can I have.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
A sports literally, I have a sports agent now, Brian,
I have Jerry. I'm not even joking you. I have
a sports agent. His name isn't Yes, his name is Ryan.
I'm so sorry, Ryan, I'm not remembering your last name.
But he is such a sports agent. He was you know,
I was on a zoom with all of them to
kind of like come together and be like what's going on.
(28:55):
And because I've been like a little bit of a
darling in the you know, in the sports world, because
of the roast and and because I was able to
say I don't know much about football in my roast set,
so no one it can expect me to know much
about football. I'm like squarely aligned with what I can
bring to the NFL, which is jokes about an outsider's
(29:16):
perspective that doesn't have to do with knowing exactly how
the game works. Like, I really feel comfortable working with
the NFL because they know who I am and they
don't want anything from me that isn't what I gave
it that roast, and I can give it that roast.
So I'm desp I like, can't wait to work with
the NFL. So uh, and I am getting into football
in a real way. Like I the other night, I
(29:36):
woke Chris up in the middle of the night to
be like, Okay, if they go for the conversion, do
they like, how many yards do they move back? Because
I couldn't find I was watching a tutorial on YouTube
and they kind of just skipped over it. And I'm like, no,
we don't understand what it means to and and Chris
that it can depend He said, anywhere from like three
yards to seven.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
If I go for a two point conversion, yeah, like
after a touchdown.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Well wait, is there a one point conversion that's.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Just called the extra point when you kick it through the.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah, that's just a kick. But if okay, so if
they're going for the two point conversion, I'm sorry, I
thought the conversion was just the play. Okay, if they're
going for the two point conversion, how many yards back?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
I don't know. I think it's like five.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Why would you guys know that? That seems like an
important thing to know, Like as soon as they changed
it and yeah, he s something changed it.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, I think it's five. I'm not sure, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Well, it's something you should know. Yeah, it wasn't a
question because it just was like talked about anyway I
and then so anyway I have Yeah, I have a
sports agent now and he is. He was like a
little bit more ballbustery than all the other ones on
the call. He was like, and I love Jerry Maguire
and that's my probably top five favorite movie. And it
(30:48):
was giving that and I really I just like the
sports people because they remind me of comics because they
talk shit and they're really honest, and there's just like
a I don't know, I think the sports world in
the comic world is really there's the Venn diagram is
of kind of like personalities is pretty is almost a circle.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah, this makes so much sense. And it's not something
I ever would have like predicted for you or would
have even like been like, you know what, you should
like try to go into this field, But now that
it's here and it's happening, it just makes so much
sense that Nicki Glazer would be a sports NFL comedian.
You're just that you have the right personality, you have
the right types of jokes. I think it makes perfect
(31:31):
sense in my mind. But I would have never predicted it.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
No ever, And that's great. I love when things happen
in my career that I'm not like aiming for, because
then it always feels like I manipulated somehow to get it,
and this is just a natural thing. It's like I
like you and you like me. Oh my god, okay,
let's start dating. Like, yeah, I didn't even consider dating you.
It just feels like kind of just a meetcute of sorts,
and so, but yeah, Uta made a post about me
(31:56):
and my friend Dan Levy, not the one from Shit's Creek,
but Dan Levy. Uh, he's a comedian. He's written a
bunch of stuff. He's one of my favorite people. Comedian
Dan Levy spelled the same way as the other one,
but he he DMed me first and was like, oh,
you know, you've made it when Uta posts about you,
and I was like, oh my god. And so I
joked in my story and I was like, thank you,
(32:17):
my agency. And I hope people didn't think I was
actually being like thank you my agency. It was just
I was calling out that like an entity is celebrating
me and then an entity that literally is like, let's
just be honest, like they are into me because I'm
hot right now, and like, yes, they've believed in me
in certain ways, but they got on board once I was.
You know, they'll get rid of me when I'm not hot,
(32:39):
and I won't take any offense because that's just the
way this business works, and I expect it.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
That's more ag but that happens more frequent with age.
I feel like managers will hold on to you a
little bit longer.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Yeah, they wait.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Agents are like brutal, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I And that's the way it should be. Like they're
fuck boys, you know, like they're really They're gonna make
you have a great fucking time, but don't trust them
for the longhime. And that is what I realized. Show
business is. You cannot get into showbiz thinking that you are.
It's not a marriage that's gonna last forever. You will
be divorced, you will separate. You might you might stay
(33:14):
married but sleep in separate bedrooms the rest of your
life and always resent each other. But at some point,
unless you are maybe William Shatner or Betty White and
I've talked about this before it's it is a relationship
I am entering into knowing it will not be forever,
and it's just the way it is. And there's the
illusion that it's going to be forever because you're hot
(33:35):
right now and how could this go away? But every
piece of evidence, aside from a couple people, leads me
to believe it will not be forever. And if it is,
it will never be at the level that you think
it will be. It will ebb and flow. And so
I'm excited for this time in my life right now,
and I'm just working on figuring out what I want
(33:57):
to do next, because that's the I've always been able
to just kind of go I don't know, I'll see
what I want to do when it comes up, Like
I don't have any real goals, and now it's like, well,
you can kind of do anything you want, like what
do you want to make who do you want to
make it with? And like people are excited, like it's
just it's it's awesome, And but I also have to think,
(34:18):
do I want to spend my life on a movie set?
Do I want to send my life working on a
movie script with someone who might be great at writing movies.
But isn't that good of a hang? And the truth
is no, I don't care that much because it is
all fleeting. So if I win an Academy Award for
a comedy which has never been done but could be,
(34:39):
even that will be forgotten some day. It's all It's
about doing, working with fun people, and working with people
you admire. So I'm just consuming a lot right now
to be like, what kind of stuff, Where's there a
deficit in in movies and TV that I want to
fill that I would want to watch and what I
(34:59):
want to make something that is that thing? And right
now I'm thinking rom com movie. Rom com is something
I'm I'm like starting to imagine what that would look
like for me, because I watched a couple rom coms
last week, namely The Idea of You, which is Anna
(35:21):
Hathaway going to a Coachella and meeting a boy band
guy who is almost half her age. And that was
a movie that I saw, and true, now I have
to feel now I feel a little bit cagey about
talking shit. But here's the thing. I don't feel bad
talking shit about the movies because I know that the
(35:43):
people that made these movies probably set out to make
a great movie, and the script was probably great, and
the studios fucked it up. So I can always shit
on things knowing and not really offend to me. I'm
not attacking the writer or the performers or the directory necessarily,
who I think has a big hand and whether something
looks good. I can always rely on the fact that
(36:05):
probably the studio got in there and fucked this up
and made it unwatchable and made it insulting to people
who are watching it and are trying to actually be
challenged with how they think and where they see things going.
There's no challenge.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Coming from the writer's side of it. I can say
that there's probably a fifty percent chance that the writer
sucks and they wrote a shitty script and okay, they're
just not funny.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Well, I want to just air on the side of
the studios fucking it up, because it's easier to come
after a conglomerate. Is that the word than it is
in an individual? Yeah, technical away in silver Lake.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
I'm just same with agents. It's like, there can be
good agents, there could be good writers, but there's so
many of them that are not good. Yea, there's so
many of them that are bad. It's it's mind boggling.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Well, yeah, I don't know how it happened. And same
with comedians. There's so many bad comedians that are successful
because I think the problem is and I don't want
to sound elitist because I was. I just think that
some people are there needs to be entertainment for dumb people. Yeah,
it is. There are a lot of dumb people in
(37:09):
the world. And I'm saying dumb with with no judgment
that that dumb. It's just no, I'm not even judging it.
It's just a fact they have lower intelligence than other people.
It doesn't mean that they should die. It doesn't mean
I think they deserve worse lives. It just is true
that there are people with less intelligence that also deserve
to have a good time at the cinema, and they
(37:31):
are pro creating more than people who aren't. Like you know,
the one movie that no one like wasn't as popular
as it should be because people are dumb. Yeah, ideocracy,
it's it's inderocracy. So those people. When I get frustrated
a comedian who I think is just not challenging anyone
doing the most hacked stuff, I'm like, but and they're
selling out places. I go, well, these people are enjoying it.
(37:55):
They're not like lying to themselves. They actually are and
they deserve to have fun too. And just because they
aren't as intelligent doesn't mean that they deserve less or
I need to like hate them. I can be frustrated
with them because I want them to, because I think
with less intelligence comes less compassion and less kindness and
all and less introspection that leads to a better world.
(38:16):
So I get frustrated with the unintelligent people, but I'm
not mad that they like dumb things. I'm over that thing.
I'm like, Okay, this is for this isn't for me,
and not because and by the way, Oppenheimer's not for
me because I'm too stupid. So there's always something that's
for someone else. Like I'm.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
No, here's the beauty of it. If you're smart, you
can enjoy the dumb stuff too. You can go like, oh,
I'm gonna I'm gonna put I'm gonna put myself on
that head to have a good time.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
No, I don't. I don't think I can. No, you
know what, Yes, I can, because I can watch it
ironically and I can pause it and make fun of
how dumb they think we are, and why that makes
any fucking sense that that guy would like, Okay, we're
gonna go to break and I'm gonna come back and
talk about the idea of you, which is the Anne
Hathaway movie where she meets a guy to Coachella. And
(39:06):
I'm also gonna talk about the Sydney Sweeney movie anywhere
but here. And then I watched another one whatever it is. Literally,
these titles are terrible, too, terrible. What's the one with
Jennifer Lawrence? Another bad title that I cannot no strings
attached or no feelings hurt the kid not kid, but like, yeah,
(39:27):
it's all.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
It's and then becomes a garbage band and gets hit
by a teenager and I think there.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Is a garbage man involved in that movie. But anyway,
I want to talk about women's I want to talk
about sex scenes after this in rom comms. And if
you've seen these movies, which I know you girls have bussy's.
I know some of you have seen them. If not,
you need to watch them because they are entertaining to
make fun of and there's a little bit of fun
in them too, when you let yourself go and you go, baby,
(39:54):
that could be me meeting that guy after this. Okay,
So we put on the Idea of You the other
night because I'm like, okay, what's the state of the
rom com right now? And I've been wanting to see
the idea of You I heard. It really kind of
indulges women in this desire to meet a celebrity and
(40:14):
fall in love, which is something we all kind of
fantasize about. You run into the raw. You you're trying
to find the bathroom at Coachella, which who even knows
how she got back to those trailers. That wasn't really addressed,
but she walks into a trailer and she imagine this,
Imagine some you're at Coachella in a tent and and
you have to go to the bathroom, and you ask
(40:35):
where's the bathroom? And they go this way, So you go,
you walk that way, and that way just takes you
out into a field with a bunch of trailers. Now,
wouldn't you figure those trailers are for people that are
performing at the event you're at, and that maybe they're
not your bathroom. What don't you maybe find someone else
and go are their porta potties? Not this girl. She
just walks into a trailer. The trailer is seemingly empty
(40:56):
when she walks in, and then she walks to the
bathroom of the trailer and she tries to open it
and there's someone in there. Now, what would you or
anyone else do?
Speaker 1 (41:05):
And that's hot girl dumb. She she she's been, she's
not due her, but she's going without reason art.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Gallery and silver Lake. She is a she is a.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Well respectrabled privilege.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
She has bangs and a daughter, and she wears flowy dresses.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
But she's a hot girl. Like it's hot girl privilege
because she's been.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Doing stuff like that the way hot, which is like
super hot but like also approachable and can kind of
like that's even worse. Register is like quirky and she
you know, it's a movie.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
In the movie. I think they're trying to say that
everyone's agreed, agreeing in the movie that she's a hot person.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
But this is not This is not hot girl privilege.
They're not trying to be like, she just walks. This
is just they're trying to paint a picture in which
this could happen to you. So you walk into a
trailer and you knock on the door. You try to
open the bathroom of the trailer and there's someone in there,
what would you, and literally everyone in the world do.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I would if there's someone in the trailer I knocked
on it, I would probably say, oh my.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
God, you're inside the trailer and you knock on the
bathroom of the trail.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Oh my god. I Well, first of all, I wouldn't
even be in that situation. I wouldn't have the gall
to walk into a trailer and try to find the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Literally, no one would.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
That person would probably call the police. Would I would say,
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that
this was a trailer.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Perfect answer, Yeah, I shouldn't even be here. I'm sorry
that I'm knocking on your trailer door, your bathroom trailer door. Instead,
she sits and waits for the bathroom to be open.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
And so then this hot guy comes out. He looks
exactly like Matt Ryan.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Oh lucky.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
And this guy is so hot and young, and he's
supposed to be twenty four but he's really twenty nine.
And she's supposed to be forty but she's really forty two.
And her daughter is supposed to be sixteen and is
literally twenty three. It is so dumb. Her daughter, but
being her daughter who looks twenty three, goes to summer
camp with like a pillow und her arm, like a
sleepover summer camp at one point while her mom is
(43:03):
off banging this rock star pop star who's in a
band called us. It's called like August Moon, that's the
name of it. And yeah, yeah, totally. And so my
problem is sex scenes, and the sex scenes now are
not like actual sex. What they do in these shows
(43:23):
now is the woman will the guy will start will
approach her from behind and start kissing her neck and
they'll kind of kiss while she's in front of him,
and then there will be a arm that like you
see his hand like go down, and then you know
he's fingering her because clothes aren't coming off, and then
she will have a full blown orgasm on camera where
(43:45):
she is acting a fool yo like it happened with
the Natalie Portman thing, where she's like simulating sex in
that pet in that fish tank area in that movie
that she did with Julian Moore that everyone loved and
I didn't. I'm tired of watching these amazing actresses. No, no, no,
it was the one where she did she I like
(44:07):
panned it because I didn't understand it was suposed to
be ironical. No, no, no. Natalie Portman was in a
movie that was the last Oscar season.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
She was like.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Nominated for mm okay. I think it was with Julianne
Moore and then julian Moore fucked a kid in high school.
That yeah, that one.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
The garbage got it.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Yeah, so so she. But but I'm so tired of
watching women orgasm on camera. Is very vulnerable. I would
honestly rather see them just get like full penetrated. Would
rather see titch shaking and like getting slammed, then this
girl going and then going like oh and like biting
her lip. And it's like there is something going on
(44:44):
in Hollywood right now where people like to see women orgasm.
And by the way, we never have to see the
guy orgasm, not that anyone wants to see that, but
we never ever see him. He's just stoically fingering and
kind of just like looking hot and cool while she
he's writhing around like she's having an exorcism. And it's
so embarrassing, and I really think actresses need to stand
(45:07):
the fuck up and maybe they wanted to do this
and say I'm not gonna do porn for you because
why like.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
People, it feels like they want to, Like like did
Emma Stone want to that? And poor things? She was
like basically it was like a porn for her for
a lot of it. Did she say I want to
do this because it's like as sexuality.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
I'm sure she did, because she seems like someone that
I listen no matter how much you think you want
to do things. The fact that it's even written in
is part is because a man, because they know women
having sex cells, you don't need to show sex all
the time. And I'm someone who loves pornography, I obviously
love to talk about sex very openly. I don't feel
(45:51):
like I need a sex scene in every fucking movie.
I think that making out is enough. Even that grosses
me out. Sometimes we know what sex looks like, hopefully
we've all seen it, and so you can just have
a couple laying down kissing and then waking up in
the morning.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Niki, it's all you need, your Mormon phase, your puritan phase.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Final thought, I just think it's taking advantage of women
to have to writhe around and have orgasms on an
otherwise PG. Thirteen movie, and it gets away with being
PG thirteen because it's not explicit the guy.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
What if you saw the guy orgasm too, would that
make it fair and easy? Yes?
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yes, absolutely, yes, yes, but it wouldn't be because for
some reason that's disgusting and are hilarious.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
A man orgasming is one of the funniest things on
planet Earth.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
I think. I think the whole discussion of like women
being women having sexist beautiful and men not is not
beautiful is a way for them to convince women that
it's art when we have to come on camera and
to make us do it more so it's artistic, and
men it's gross and it's like, no, it's all. If
you're trying to portray what really happens in the world,
you need to show the man coming too, And in fact,
(47:00):
you should show the woman coming a lot less and
you should show her not coming fucking ten seconds after
he starts touching her. Yeah, it's insane, And I just
don't want to see Anna Hathaway orgasming, and I don't
want to see who else Sidney Sweeney orgasming in a shower,
And we didn't need to see her nipples in that scene.
I hope she got paid so fucking much for that
(47:21):
shower scene where you see her nipple for a half
a second. Sidney, see, yeah, you see her nipple.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Well, you see her nipple in Euphoria a lot too,
So she's known for showing her nipples.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Good for her. Which if I my tits look like
that too, I would show them off. But I just
find it, like I just I just think there's some
corsion involved in I don't want to take anything from
these women who have full autonomy over themselves. I just
think that if it's written in the script for you
to be topless, yeah you can negotiate how topless, But
why do we need to be topless? Can't Sidney Sweety's
(47:52):
talent speak for itself.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I don't know. But if it's like seeing a movie
where Sidney Sweeney is not topless is like watching of
Michael Jordan.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Well then maybe we don't put Sidney Sweeney in things.
If we have her talent can't stand alone without seeing
her nipple, we don't put her in things. I don't
think that's what you should do. I like Sidney Sweeney's acting,
but I think that if it's not good enough and
you have to show her tits.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Maybe maybe, but it's like she's got this great trick
that she could perform, and it's like you don't do it,
you listen, don't have to do it every time, but
it is like it is it gives her a leg up.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
I just picture a male director behind the camera like
it's I just and and I don't mean to take
anything from these women. This is gonna get to wait
for this to show up on a fucking page. Six.
Nikki Glazer slam Sidney Sweeney for not standing up for
yourself at an hour.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
I defend Sidney Sweeney. I think she should be allowed
to show her tits and anything she wants. It's perfectly fine.
I'm on her side on this one.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
I am also offside and I I just pose nude
for Peta. You can see my full tit minus my nipple.
You can see everything. It's coming out. I think it'll
be out tomorrow, which is the day this comes out,
So go check out my pa ad. I am fully nude,
and I did it because I like the campaign, because
it's for Peta, and I support Peta and any kind
(49:12):
of attention Pita gets will be great. And if my
nude body gets more eyes on the fact that you
shouldn't wear fur or you know, leather, then great or wool.
But also I wanted to get naked. I am in
a place in my life where i'm can And yes,
Sidney Sweeney might be in a place in her life
too where she can get naked and feel really good
about it, and she should be because she looks amazing.
(49:33):
But I just feel there's just an inkling in me
that we are being served this because we don't feel
like it's good enough on its own.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
And I think your inklings are correct. I mean it,
definitely there's been men saying that this is what you
need to do in order to succeed. But I do
feel like this new generation of people, these new generations,
are more comfort with nudity for some reason.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
As they should be. And you know what I am,
I'm kind of changing my mind. Page six, Stop writing
your little headline about me shaming Anne Hathaway and Sidney Sweeney.
I hope you listen to this far because I keep
getting clipped by page six for these fucking things I
say on podcasts that are so out of context. It
is a nightmare. And like I truly I said about
Ben Affleck. I said on We Might Be Drunk the podcast,
(50:24):
I said, they were talking about Ben Affleck's performance at
the roast, and I was like, oh, I think I
know what happened. Like he didn't take it seriously. He
thought it was probably beneath him. This was just a speculation.
He thought it was beneath him, and he didn't prepare
as much as he should. And I said, which I
have done a million times in my career, where you
don't know how big something's going to be, and you
do kind of think it's beneath you and you kind
of phone it in. I literally empathized with him. I
(50:47):
didn't say it was a bad choice on his part.
I didn't slam him. It was. But no one's going
to listen to the podcast. They're just gonna see that
I slammed Ben Affleck. Especially Ben Affleck, if you ever
saw that, I'd be embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
To meet him. Now.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
Shit, I know I know he's he's getting slammed so
much in the media that he's not going to pay attention.
That's what I told my dad, because my dad was like,
you need to find Ben Affleck and tell him you
didn't mean that. I'm like, he doesn't care to.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
I know that's all bullshit. But at page six, if
you are listening, I want you to write into the
article that straight white male comedian Brian Frangie defended Sidney
Sweeney's right to go topless in any movie that she wants.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
I I want her to go topless too in all things,
because they are amazing and they're fun to look at,
and she is so sexy and it does, I guess,
add to her character. But I and I will also say,
they gave us a lot of Glenn Powell nude and
I do appreciate that. I want to say from the
bottom of my heart that, and they definitely there was
a There was a dick in that movie. It wasn't
(51:44):
Glenn Powell's. I wouldn't mind seeing his in a movie
coming up if he feels like that. He's at a
point in his career where his acting needs that help.
Not saying that's what Sidney even thinks, but I do.
I did appreciate a very naked Glenn Pale throughout it,
and as a woman, I felt scene and I was
(52:04):
glad for that. So I guess it was even, but
I don't want to see any more orgasming on for
our sex scenes. Give me. If you're gonna have a
sex scene, make it nude, make it messy. Let's get
in there. Let's let's actually have a sex scene. Let's
make this an R rated thing. Don't keep a PG
and have people orgasming because it is.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
That's interesting now, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Indecent for little kids to go to a PG thirteen
thing and see a woman thriving around and having convulsions.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Now I'm on board. I get what you're saying. It's like,
if you're gonna do a sex scene, then do a
sex scene. Don't just throw in. Don't throw a towel
over a woman and see her riding and be like
that's not sex. It's like that joke that Luis c
k joke about the N word, where if like you
said the N word, now I know I'm now I'm
saying it in my head. Now you're making me say it,
you piece of shit. Yeah, same thing with the sex scene.
(52:49):
It's like we know what they're doing. The kids are
subconsciously knowing what they're doing. It's like where you're imagining
it now, Well.
Speaker 2 (52:55):
I want to you know what, as a kid watching that,
I'd go like, what is he doing to her? And
what is what's what's happening to her? Is she being electrocuted?
Like it? With more information and more of a context,
I think that it would be less confusion and less
like kind of scarring because it is. Please go watch
(53:16):
the scene where she's getting fingered by the guy. It's
probably three quarters of it's probably half the way through
the movie, half of the way, half the way through
the movie.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Half the way through the movie. But the but sex,
it should be a kiss on the cheek. And then
we just assume.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
I watched Mister and Missus Smith last night because I
was craving some actual chemistry between two leads, which I
will say Saidie Sweeny and Glen Pell had amazing chemistry.
YEA loved it. And then but mister and Missus Smith,
Holy shit what. I lost interest immediately because I don't
like action, so I'd stopped any scene where there was
like shooting going on. I wasn't I was on my phone.
(53:53):
But the Jennifer Aniston didn't stand a chance having her
husband come back from that film.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
Oh yeah, no. Like similarly, Ben affleck did you watch
Deep Water?
Speaker 2 (54:05):
Oh? Yeah, I know you're a big fan of that.
That was fucking steamy as shit.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Yea, and they they were together.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
I love watching movies where they got together. That's why
I went back and watched Mister and Missus Smith because
I go, I know they were fooled around during this.
I can't imagine how hot it is and it was
pretty good. All Right, we have to go. Thank you
so much for joining us. We'll be back tomorrow on
the podcast Besties Are the Best. You know, we love
you. You're my number one fans, You're my ogs. We have
a lot of new listeners, welcome to the show. It
(54:32):
is this every time. And we do have some Taylor
Swift gush Fest episode coming up on Friday that I
want to warn people about. That is if you're a
new bestie and you're not a Taylor Swift ted, you
might go, what the fuck is this? That episode's not
for you. It's just bonus content for like Swifty besties,
and it really is. You will not understand it and
you will be almost mad at me for the way
I talk on it. So I wouldn't recommend listening to
(54:55):
that unless you're swifty, but we will have two episodes
this week normally. So bye Brian, bye, and wish Noah
all the love for Toby who's born on April twenty seventh.
And and I know she misses you, guys and misses
hearing from you, So shoot her a note if you
if you feel inclined to congratulate her and to keep
her company. That's all for the show. Brian is gone,
(55:16):
he went to a doctor's appointment. My producer who's filling
in Olivia is I think in the other room. And
so I'm all alone, just talking to Nolan. You guys
are the best, Dobeka and come see me on tour.
So many new dates coming out Kikeyglazer dot com. New
one's added for June, so I'm coming to Chandler Arizona.
That one was just freshly announced. But there's so many
(55:37):
because you know, I'm having a moment, So dates are
filling up a new David, So if you haven't took
my dates in a while, go do that. Nicki Glazer
dot com and I can't wait to see what I
have show love you guys, me in Abe. Good Bye,
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