Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Nicky Glazer, Nikki, Yeah, thank you know.
Uh hi guys, it's Nicky Glazer, It's Nicki Lazer podcast.
I hope you're doing a while out there, and I
mean that sincerely, not like Andrew before he gets to
(00:21):
the news. Uh no, how are you today? I'm doing good. Um.
I don't like the angle that my laptop computers facing
because it accentuates my atoms. Apple. You don't have an
atom's apple, Yes, I do. Women don't have an atom's apple, baby,
I have one Adam's apple bottom jeans boots with the
(00:44):
wait no you don't, then get it. It's like a
little bomp. Wait, dude, google this. Women do not have
atoms apples? Or do we just have less accentuated ones.
I don't know the difference. I know that Caitlyn Jenner
had hers shaved down, and that was the first sign
that she was possibly transitioning. I remember that whisper, and
I couldn't think of anything more disturbing, like viscerally than
(01:07):
having your atoms apple like bones shaving like keep me
out of that. I don't want to hear about shaved bones.
I uh, my makeup artist, who uh Robin, who made
fun of me for having a zet next to my
lip that she announced was her pies for humor, even
(01:28):
though everyone doesn't know that she's someone who does that,
so everyone on set probably thinks I've heard but now
not that there's anything wrong with that. Plan on getting
it can't wait. She also said one time that like
my Adam's Apple was sticking out as like a joke.
And by the way, I'm on the show with like
(01:49):
surrounded by um men who I'm like, you know, are
attractive men, and I'm just like, how about we not
say that? And then I was like, because my neck
is very long and has lots of like you can
see almost like my vocal cords which are now probably
inflamed because my voice is disgusting right now. And I
apologize for it if it's hard to listen to because
(02:12):
I did an Instagram story last night, I was like, yikes,
I should stop talking, but I can't because it's my job. Um,
but she made an Adam's Apple joke and now it's
like a running joke and I don't care for it. Well.
On Roast, people have compared me to men are looking
like uh a um transitioning, you know, like, and I've
(02:36):
made jokes that without makeup, I look like a yoga
instructor named Jasper. It's like that has long air um,
which is not about like a lot of women have
masculine features and a lot of hot got a lot
of hot women have masculine features, and a lot of
hot guys look very feminine and you're trying to do
them because you're probably gay ladies. Um No, But my
(02:59):
point is I don't don't have an Adam's Apple. I
don't think women can get them. Did you google it?
Do we have Adams Apples? I didn't google it. I
just don't want to know the answer to it. But
you don't have one. I don't know what you're talking about.
It's moving. It's just oh wait, okay, I do see
a bump, but like, what's wrong with that? It's just like, wait,
you do have what the fuck? No? Uh, maybe it's cancer,
(03:21):
Maybe have a tumor in there? I mean, whatever it is,
it's like, who cares, it's a bump in your neck.
When I was just with a bunch of ladies last
night and we were all talking about the work we
wanted to have done, and by one friend is like, oh,
I'm I'm getting a chin and plant, like as soon
as I get home, and I feel bad because I
(03:42):
was like, yeah you should. I have a friend who
got one and she looks way hotter because of it,
and not that being I go, you should get it
if it's something that's bothered you your whole life, and
and you want to. I mean, like, why is not
getting a chim amplant or facial uh, you know, plastic
surgeries frowned upon? But fake eyelashes and pounds of makeup
(04:07):
and fake hair dye and uh jewel piercings and just
any other thing that you add to your hair extensions?
Why are what's the difference between a bunch of fake
fucking hair that, by the way, I've been offered on
my show a lot, and I used to wear it
in my show Nicki and Sarah Alive. And once you
(04:29):
get hair extensions, you first of all, I don't like
to wear it on TV because I think when I'm
on TV, women can look at me and know, oh,
she's wearing makeup. That's why she looks good. That's like
that's probably a fake tan that's not a real color
color of her skin because I put it out there
that my skin is not like that. But hair extensions,
I think are so convincing that many women look at
(04:53):
women on TV and compare their own hair like me,
this is me talking and go, why don't I Why
isn't my hair that thick? There's something wrong with me?
And um So, although the other girls on the show
this season of the show are wearing lots and lots
of fake hair, um which there's nothing wrong with that. Literally,
(05:14):
I want to just tell every woman that's listening. Every
woman is wearing hair extensions, even women not on TV,
including Miss Adam's Apple producer. No. Uh, I mean you
have them too, but uh, and there's nothing wrong with it.
I just opted out because I'm so insecure about my
hair being thin that I did not And it's based
(05:36):
on the fact that women are wearing hair extensions and
I compare myself that I know now my hair is
not thin. It was just my perception is off because
of my surroundings. And I don't want to promote that anymore.
I don't want to put that out there and I
don't want it for myself because once I have thought
lots of hair on TV I'm never gonna not want it.
(05:56):
And I literally looked like a show pony when she
put in a fake ponytail. Was like this, it's like
ariana grande gigantic ponytail. And I felt like a beautiful
horse that. Um. I just felt like a rich person's
horse with that thing in my hair. And I was like,
get it out now. And it's not like I'm being noble.
(06:17):
I don't want to be like, oh, I'm making the
sacrifice to women. See, it's really for myself at the
end of the day, which everything is. So last night
I've told this girl, I'm like, yeah, you should get
the chin thing if you want to get it, and
she would and she didn't take it, and I go,
you don't need it. I assure you you have a
good chin. But if it that, it would look bad.
I mean, it's not gonna not look better. But I
(06:39):
told all the girls, I go, please do not do filler.
Please please please, if you're listening at home, please don't
do filler if you're under the age of thirty six.
And I even and I'm third about to be thirty seven,
and I don't think i'd get it again until it
was like, really necessary. I did a lot of filler
(06:59):
in two thousand eighteen after Dancing with the Stars and
after I got called, um, what do they call me? Uh?
They said I looked like Owen Wilson at that roast,
and I just myself esteem was in the gutter and
so and I had a lot of money from Dancing
with the Stars and I hadn't spent a lot of
money because I was on Dancing with the Stars in
a fucking dance bubble. So I was like, Oh, I'll
(07:19):
get out of here and spend thirty thou dollars I
think at the fucking most overpriced place, because Carlile forrest
Ar convinced me that I should go to the best
of the best, which is the car Dashians doctor, which
by the way, is not their doctor. It's just the
one that he pays to use their faces as promo
(07:40):
for his place, not even an say who. It is
so angry about it because I later went to another
injection guy and he was like you paid what He
was like, they literally overcharged you. But and I was like,
I had a feeling. Um, but I did get laughing
gas for the laser that they gave me, and it
was the first time I fell drunken, you know, nine
(08:01):
years and it was a blast. God, I have so
much more to say. All I want to say is
don't get filler. I really regret it. I'm so glad
it's out of my face right now. I would get
it again in my lips, by the way, I really would,
so I take it back. I would get filler in
my lips again, very subtle though, although I haven't and
I could and I haven't again, so maybe I wouldn't.
(08:22):
I like my thin lips um. And then also I oh,
and I was thinking, and I've always said this about
a nose job. If you, ladies, if you take down
your nose, if you have a big nose, pointing nose
like I have a pretty prominent nose, um, if you
take it down, the tent pole is your your face.
(08:46):
Skin is a tent and you will flatten, it will
lose some of its tent like the the tent pole
will fall and so the skin will all fall. So
think of your nose as a tent pole for your face,
and consider that before I want build up to pull
the tent totter. Has anyone ever thought of that? For uh,
(09:06):
lifting your skin? Build a bigger nose. No, uh, I
I this is controversial, Nikki. This is I've never been
said before to hear women right into the show about
their feelings or men to please about plastic surgery and
what you've had done, what you would recommend, if you
(09:27):
talk about it, if you're open about it. Because I
just went round Robin. We had a little party for
my friend Robin birthday party, birthday hang at my apartment
or apartment, you know, hotel room last night, and I
just went around Robin was like, you know, I went
around Robin's body and I said, this is what you
should have done. Is what you should have done. Now,
I went round Robin with the girls and I go,
(09:48):
have you had work done? Have you? Like? I just
flat out asked him. They can lie to me, but
I think we should be open about these things. And uh,
for the first time I wanted to be open about
I mean, I think I've talked about the stuff all before.
But I'm trying to think of anything else I've had
done that I want to disclose. Trying to think of
anything I want to get done. At this point, I
feel like I have too much of a presence that
(10:09):
if I did something it would be very obvious, but
at the same time I would talk about it then,
So who cares? Noah, do you want to get anything done? Yeah?
I want to get like a couple of things subtle. Um,
I want to do a chemical peel. There's like nose
job using botox, so it's like not invasive. And I've
(10:31):
gotten the higherlonic uh gel like in my lips and
that's looked good. Yeah. I just got a bunch of
ships in my cheeks and my under my eyes and
on my forehead. I mean they just went. The thing is, girls,
between you and me, when you get this stuff, when
(10:53):
you go in and you get a consultation, you go
I just want to go subtle a little bit. The
strongest woman cannot like stay true to what she goes
into one of these places. They know how to get
you to do more than you want, and it's just
(11:13):
it's it's a gamble. And like I've always said, I
really think women who get stuff done on their face
are braver than women who don't. Not that I appreciate
women who don't, and I respect you, but I don't
think women who have face work done should be labeled
as weak or insect. I mean, it is an insecurity,
but what a risk to take. And I think it's
I really have always thought it's very brave, um and
(11:35):
I want to change the perception of that that when
you see a woman that has a fucked up face
from a lot of surgery, go that woman took a
risk and it didn't pay off, and that sucks for her.
But at least, I mean, that's a risk, and it's
you know, she's like she went bungee jumping in the
cord snapped, you know, like it was of risk, that
she wanted her life to be better and it didn't
(11:56):
get better, and she's trying to fix it. No one
wants a look like a shiny cat. So when you
see a woman whose face is all sucked up, can
we all please agree right now to stop going what
did she do to her face? Girls, when you say
that about other women, and I've done it too, you
are you are make you're you're acting like that woman
(12:18):
chose to look that way? Girls, have you ever chosen
to look less attractive? Has anyone ever wanted that to
be the goal? Maybe if you maybe in some weird
but most of the time, all you all we want
is to be loved, and we're doing this stuff so
that people like us. So cut women some slack when
they've gone too far, and men, you do this too.
(12:38):
Oh her face, she sucked her face up. She was
trying to look better because she knows that her value
is based on looking better. No one's trying to look worse.
So be gentle to these people that have gone too far.
They're only trying to fix it. They're just trying to
be better. The same goes for people who are overweight.
Stop eating. Do you think they to be obese? I mean,
(13:01):
I think some people probably are happy being obese, and
they should be. Like you should love who you are,
but stop making people feel bad about what they are,
because no one wants to be ostracized and in a
way that makes them feel criticized by others. So this
whole vibe of why would they do that, No one's
trying to do it. And this is a nice reminder
for myself because I yelled at Andrew this morning about
(13:25):
the way he ate pizza last night. And we'll get
to that and we'll delve into that when he gets here.
So sorry to get on my little soapbox here, but um, yeah.
I just think that's all these things are for me,
by the way, you guys, important things for me to remember.
Know what. Let's get Andrew in here. We'll be right back. Hey, Andrew, Colin, Hey,
(13:47):
Nikky Glazer, how are you? I'm good Umn. No one's
here too, Hey, No, how are you? Hi? Andrew? Good morning?
Good morning. How do you sleep last night? Buddy? I good?
I love like four teen hours last night. I know you?
Did you you? We had a little soare over here
for Robin's birthday, and um, you went to the store
(14:08):
with her to get boozed and we ordered um, three
pizzas and some wings, and then we had people come over.
And then um, I would say, about forty minutes after
people came over, Andrew went to bed at like a
eight forty. He just sauntered upstairs. He just disappeared. Did did? Did?
(14:29):
I knew it's I guess Irish accided in my own
by going upstairs. Um, I I just knew that it
would the conversation if I go, Hey, I wanna I'm
really tired. I just ate six pieces of pizza that
I won't He wanted to eat four, and I'm really tired,
and I just want to go to sleep, and I'm
(14:49):
so sorry. I noticed a birthday party I would get
hit with, don't be a bit stay down here, and
which is nice because that means people want you at
the party. You were really us I have to say,
like I want to do there because you add so
much fun to those things. But I understood that you
weren't in the mood to be the person that would
have brought the fun, and you weren't that feeling well,
(15:10):
I would not have brought the fun, and so like
almost I was selfless actually by taking it for the
team that we didn't want. Yeah, your presence would have
actually brought down the bath, so thank you for taking
that hit for us. Um. It was also like, uh,
a lot of girls. We hang out with these same
people all day too, so it's not like we're getting
(15:33):
a new influx of people which would make a party scene.
There were five or six women there that you don't
hang out with all day and it was just me
and Robin and that was that was pretty much it
who you do hang out with all days, So um,
that doesn't really uh, I see those women all day,
you don't. I don't know where which women which on
(15:58):
uh Jen here all day. Know you don't uh Sean,
you don't even know who Sean is? Okay, keep anyways,
point being is I just like, yeah, what do you
how do you feel about Irish exciting? What are you thinking?
It's so shitty? I I understand though, when you say
it was like we would have been like Andrew w
(16:20):
um so it was okay in your own apartment because
you're already home, you know, So I give that a pass.
But I gotta say, like, Irish exiting is okay if
everyone of the party's drunk and it's just gonna be
such a mess to like say goodbye everyone. But it
really irritates me. And I've had this happened to me
a few times here where people go, oh, I'm gonna
go to the bathroom where I gotta go do this thing,
(16:41):
and then they just never come back and or never
follow up with like, hey, I went back, and I
honestly like I want to go take a ship and
I'm just like wanting to get in bed. I'm sorry,
I'm not going to return something like that. And it's
it's happened to me over and over here with different
guys that have like I've been friends with, and I
(17:03):
guess it's just the way people conduct themselves. I think
it's rude. I don't think it's rude to just duck out,
But if you duck out without saying goodbye, follow up
with the people that you that are going to wonder
where you are and maybe depend on you so that
you don't have to talk to drunk people and get
pulled into conversations you don't don't want to get pulled into.
Because you were depending on those people coming back from
(17:23):
the bathroom or wherever they scampered off to Andrew, there
was still a bill to be paid. That's a whole
another Irish. That's a I don't know what kind of act.
That's the Nashole X. Yeah, we went to dinner with
that a night in. A couple three guys from the
dinner that I was already planning on paying for left
before the bill came. And I did get the bill,
(17:43):
even though I was intending to get it, so it
wasn't a big deal. But three of the people that
eight never came back after they went to the bathroom
or whatever they were going to do, and so I
was already going to get the bill. But then I
was annoyed that that was just assumed that it would
be taking care of. Is like really irritating. And that's
my fault for not calling those people out. And I'm
(18:05):
doing it now hoping that they'll hear this and then
they're going to instantly pick up their phone once they
hear this and text me an apology for that, I
send you a thinking note or anything after or they
just disappeared. No, no, they just disappeared. And it's just
like that's just the way that people do things. Though
in in l A. I think that like l A
or in this business, especially like I'm working in TV
(18:28):
and show business, people are not that great in show business.
Like not that they're not great, but they're not. I
think people in show businesses, including myself, are they They're
looking out for themselves and so not as considerate. And
that's just and these people are nice people, like everyone
I invited to this dinner and was there at that
table are all men who I feel like are actually
empathetic and like listen and our good friends of mine.
(18:51):
And it was just like, why has this happened now
a couple of times with these people where they just
like disappear just and I don't mind if you disappear
in Oh, I'm so sorry. And I don't even care
about the Bill thing. Honestly, I was planning on getting it.
It was just the fact of like, I'll be right back, uh,
and then you know, it doesn't come back. Bill doesn't
(19:11):
come back for the Yeah, it was just like, I
understand an Irish exit if everyone is wasted and your
exit will not even be remembered, even if you were
to say goodbye. But um not, Okay, it's just stop
doing that, you guys. Just be do one to others, right,
I agree. I think coming from living in New York
(19:32):
City for ten years, it's it's probably the most accepted
place to have an Irish exit where you're out because
no one cares because there's other ship to do. Like,
no one's relying on you or needing you to bring
it because they could turn to their left exiting from
a dinner. Yes, that's a different kind of so it's weird.
(19:53):
Especially Yeah, it was three to three of the gentlemen
that I was at this dinner with left me. You
came back eventually, but it was after a very long time,
and by that time I and I had I think
I had stated that I didn't want to be left
alone at this and and and actually I was so
(20:15):
sulky about it afterwards because I was like, three people
I wanted to like hang out with and talk have
now gone, and there's a couple left over, but they're
talking to other people. I said, fuck it, you know what,
I'm not going to let this ruin my night and
be like upset about this that they did not mean
to hurt my feelings. This isn't a personal attack, Nikki.
Let it go. And and I really do realize that
that's not about me. I'm not thinking, like God, they
(20:37):
didn't like me. I let it go, and I fucking
danced my face off. And you know what, I was
so excited to dance because I felt like the people
that because those guys that I probably would be a
little bit insecure dancing in front of, because they're like
new friends that I would have to like see. The
next day, I was able to go dance on the
dance floor. Two, I learned the Chacha slide, which I've
never felt empowered to learn. Um, even though it's very simple,
(21:01):
I just like always thought I couldn't do it. I
did Um the It started about with the electric slide
and moved into the Chatto slide, and then I learned
this other one that's like the wobble, and then we
did the mark Arena, which was the worst of the four,
and it was so much fun. I sang wop, I
sang the Boy is Mine karaoke, and these were all
things I wouldn't have done if those guys would have
(21:22):
stuck around. So I had the best time dancing and
I felt so like sexy and free, like I didn't care.
I really danced like no one was watching. It was
so fun. And I was with all these girls that
like taught me how to dance and uh, and we're
like supportive of me and like, girl, get it, yes,
(21:43):
you've got it, like and I'm so insecure about my dancing,
and it was just it was the best. It turned
in the best night. So that's how I slept. Yeah,
when you did the electric it's hard to be upset
while doing the electric slide. It's true. It's like the
annual toss joke about being on a jet ski, Like
you can't not smile, like trying to look piste off
on a jet skin. You're like it's like that one
(22:03):
video where the girls dancing with their girlfriends, or like
a TikTok video where someone's crying, like and they're doing
it dance Yeah, Sara and I Yeah, there's that girl
though she's dancing with her friends and you see her
like one tears coming out, but she wants to keep
she wants to keep partying and again and her emotions.
The electric slide was a big It's like on a
cruise ship, like there's only certain places you really break
(22:26):
it out, but it really brings everyone together the thing,
and I want to dance more that. I'm like, it
is so much fun to dance. It gets me just
in the best mood and learn. I was learning that
Cardi B dance to um uh it's Cardi B's dance
up in the music video, and um, I've learned the
(22:46):
first part and it's so sexual. I just like love.
I love Cardi B. I love Wop, I love Cardie,
I love any I just love how sexual and how
dirty and funny. Those lyrics are like I'd let him
run a train if he had a twin, I'd let
him run a train. It's like, oh god, girl, even
(23:07):
if the twin wasn't identical if you have, but he's
got to be identical. He can't be fraternal when it's up,
they both have to be six three with beautiful. I
slept like a champion. No. I I had a fitting today,
which I fucking hate fittings more than anything. And I
know that's like, you know, uh, first world problem, not
(23:29):
even first world like one problems of like I had
to go trying a bunch of clothes that were tailored
to my body. But um, I'm pale. My spray tann
is gross, my hair is disgusting, my face is like everything.
I haven't getten getting enough sleeps, so my skin is
just like dry, and I'm getting blemishes not herpes, and
and so I was like and I was late to
(23:51):
it this morning, so I was in a bad mood
and I hadn't had coffee yet and or eaten. I
was just like a kind of a bit and I
had to suit an apology to my I wasn't a bit,
but was just like, can we be done really soon?
Like I hate this? Um? And I slept okay. I
was up to like four and then I slept till
(24:11):
ten fifty. What is how many hours is that six
and change it. Get a great night's sleep tonight. I
probably having too much fun hanging out. I know I'm
pushing my voice is my voice is showing. That's that's tiredness.
Someone that slept seventeen hours last night? Will you give
(24:32):
me some huh? Will you give me some of those
couple of hours? Yeah? Alright, let's get to the first.
It makes me happy. Oh, then the stories are on, folks,
And boy do I hope you're having fun out there? Um,
(24:56):
this is a fun headline. A ship carrying sex toys
among hundreds of block vessels in the seas canal may
soon be free you even trying anymore? I mean, honestly
that everyone go back and press your little fifteen second
back button on your podcast listening app and just hear
his delivery. And I know you're, like, you're so mean
(25:17):
to him that you want to just try to deliver
that with like to make it understandable. And I don't
want to throw anyone under the bus. But I'm reading
what someone else wrote. I understand that. Can I read
it like? I don't think it made sense to begin with,
to be honest, Oh, let me read it how I
would read it and let's see. And I am open
to the fact that this is unreadable, right, Okay, A
(25:42):
ship carrying sex toys among hundreds of block vessels in
the Suez Canal may soon be free, so listen. It's
it's a clunker of a sentence. There's ways to intonate
and to maybe add the word a at the beginning,
which is like an edit you can make on the fly,
or you could just look at this before we get
to recording and change it. I've read all the stories.
(26:04):
I understand that, but the headline, if it's not good,
why did wouldn't you just reward it? Because I don't. Okay,
let's get to it. Ship carrying sex toys among hundreds
of blocked vessels as canal mass soon be free. Wait,
why do you keep saying sweats? Huh? Why do you
ass ship carrying sex? Okay, I'll do it for real.
(26:25):
This is me being the most real I can be.
Ship carrying sex toys? No, a ship like, just add
a to it. A ship carrying sex toys among hundreds
of blocked vessels in Suez Canal, not in Suez. So
so the ship got stuck in the Sues Canal, causing
millions of of other ships or thousands of other ships
(26:48):
to be able not to go through, causing people to
lose ten billion dollars can Like, honestly, I have no idea.
And by the way, I am so out of the
news being on the show and working on this, like,
I don't even I don't know where the Swiss Canal is.
I'm admitting that right now. I thought it was like
I just pictured it in Panama, even though that already
has a canal of its own. That's where they all are,
(27:09):
I think are in the same Panama state, in Panama City,
and I used to go down for spring break Panorama City. Okay,
that's that's that's actually what I did think if I
would have thought harder. I mean, so this boat got
stuck because of strong winds. That's what the driver saying.
I think he had a couple hennessy texting or texting
(27:33):
yet texting. Gail Hammered ship bearing about twenty containers of
Dildo's vibrators and male masturbators, may finally continue its voyage
and get the adult toys into the eager hands of
frustrated customers. Yeah, so, I guess, uh, the biggest supplier
of sex toys in uh the Dutch Denmark in Denmark? Okay? Uh?
(27:57):
And those are some horny people, uh Danish? The Danish
in Denmark? Is that? Yeah? There? Do you know? Would
you call them den what would you call them? What's that?
Never mind? No? No, no, the dudge I thought, is
in Amsterdam, Denmark. But what are people who are from
(28:20):
Denmark called Danish? Right? Yes? Okay, but that is a
little confusing, right, because I almost want to say deadmark Ians?
But okay, where's is Amsterdam country? I've been there. It's
the city, I think. So I don't know if we're
going to include international news in this segment anymore. I
(28:40):
know this is really hold on, this is not international,
this is sex news. Okay. By the way, I picked
this story out of the lineup because sex toys are
so important. I'm in We're in the Grand Caymans right now, where, um,
they don't sell sex toys and they're prohibited on the island.
The amount of dildos you brought here, you would have
been in jail for a good un that. Well, my
(29:02):
friend on the set, she said that she didn't bring
any sex toys because she was she knew that they
didn't sell MoMA Island. I didn't know that, and she
thought she would be smuggling them. Thank god, I didn't
know that. Um, but I would have been very worried.
I probably would have stuck put one in my vagina
and stuck it in and put one in my ass too,
and just smuggled it in the way you do like
the something by how you're smiling. I mean I can
(29:24):
I tell you something? Ye? No, but I UM. I
did a workout probably four weeks ago, and I just
stuck a vibrator at myself with the whole workout and
like planked and did a whole workout with it. Why
did that do? I just wanted to like feel something.
I wanted to like have something too. I wanted to
(29:45):
be horny during it. I don't know. Why does it
give you energy? You think? Yeah, I mean like I
like it's almost like watch listening to a podcast when
you're running, or listening like something to distract you from
the fact that you're working out. So it's kind of fun.
It makes but it wouldn't stay in because it was
one of those ones with like a handle that has
like the rabbit part on it, So it was kind
of annoying and got in the way. Were you masturbating?
(30:08):
And then you're like I need to work out or
were you working corny and was like I also want
to work out. Let's just combine two. So anyway, last
night I gave the girl the girl I know, right,
the girl that came here without a vibrator. She mentioned
that the first time I met her, just like because
that's how we talk here, and I go, I have extras?
Do you want one? And she was like yeah, And
(30:30):
I was like, I'll clean it really well, and so
I gave her my vibrator last night. You came down
pretty quick. How did you clean this thing with soap
and water? It's pretty quick? And now you're dealing by
the way, oh my god, I am holy sh it.
We might not even be able to put this out.
Came by it. I am like, I'm like a methodon't
(30:50):
I'm like helping people that are trying to get off it,
but I'm not hurting anyone. Yeah. Um. I gave her
my vibrator and it was funny because it was one
that has the clips sucking part on it, and I
took it out of its thing and there were two
guys here, and one of them was like we were
talking about um, like asking guys about like women's things
(31:13):
and wondering if they knew different. We're talking about a
bit that we might do on the show and asking
men about like women's products and being like what is
this object? And it's like one of the things attachments
you put on a hair dryer, you know, to make
it more like a diffuser, and be like what is this?
And like ask guys, and I go, this would be
a fun one to ask guys, like what is this
part of the vibrator, like the little clips sucking part?
(31:35):
And one of the guys goes, what is that? What
is that? Is how his voice is and I go,
it's you put it over your clip and it sucks
your clip and uh he like. And this guy's a
very sexual person, I think, and has a lot of
experience and he didn't even recognize what that was. And
all the girls at the I taught the girls how
to use it the best ways, or like the girl
that I gave it to, and I think she had
(31:56):
a blast lesson. I'm so excited for her and I
left all the way as I laugh. Um for myself,
I picked the one that I didn't need anymore. You
would think you would give her the one you've used
the least, and it is. No. It's the one that
was easiest to clean, and it was my newest one,
but I definitely haven't used it the least. And it's
just like the cutest one and just like the most compact,
(32:18):
and it's just the best one for her. I don't
really need the clip thing right now, because um, I
just haven't been mastermating that much recently. Yeah, it kind
of looks like a little elephant trunk. Yeah, it's fun,
it's cute. What do you feel like now that you're
breaking the law, that you're a bad girl and it
turns your I didn't even think about that. I I
(32:38):
do think that's kind of hotter now. Yeah, every time
I use a pocket pussy, I'm like, oh, I put
my collar out. I mean, you did get sent I
got to send a ton of toys from Blessa. By
the way. The one that I gave this girl is
on Blessa, and it's like it's red. It looks like
it's in a little polly pocket case. It charges in
a case that literally looks like pollypocket. It's red it
(32:59):
has the clips that thing and it's I think it's
like a buzz feed like it's made by buzz feed.
I know that sounds weird, but go to blessa b
E L L e s a dot com, which, by
the way, they also have the Netflix of porn there
that I talked about earlier. But they also say it's
be boutique actually be as in the letter b boutique
dot com and you can get this thing. It's red
and gold and it's in a little eminem case. It
(33:19):
looks like polypop case. And that's my that's the one
I gave this girl. And it's amazing story is that
you have known this girl for three days like when
I offered her the second seconds. That is incredible because
you know, guys, imagine if I met a guy and
be like, yo, dude, this isn't a woman, this is
(33:40):
a me thing Andrew I am. And women don't do that, okay, okay, okay.
Besides the point even okay, me doing that, which I
think it would probably offer I would offer. I just
don't think any guy would take anything. And you guys
have like lots of calm coming out like women have less,
and these things are so perfect and easy to wash
because they're just of like this. Really whatever, Next story.
(34:02):
I think it's awesome. Thank you. I can't wait too.
I think women should share toys. They shouldn't be these
things that if they're easy to clean, there's nothing wrong
with reusing it. Guys, you go to hotel rooms where
everything has been just on and you you reuse towels
that have been just on you, that have been just washed.
You know you. You you bathe in tubs in hotels
(34:24):
that have had so much jizz and probably ship in them,
and they've just been washed with soap and water. So
why not wash your dildos and give them to your friends?
And by the way, we will get an update from
her to see how it works. Yes, well, she's our neighbor,
so I got an update last night when she was
howling through the walls. Now I didn't hear it. Next story.
(34:45):
Researchers find that b d s M and meditation have
a lot in common a lot of sex stories on
the pot today. Sorry about that, um, but not sorry,
b d s M and meditation. B DSM research is
finding similarities between b DSM and mindfulness and other worms
of meditation especially in the context of heightened awareness and
relaxing altered states of mind. That's why I love it.
(35:07):
I love it so much. I like to I like, uh, yeah,
I need um that kind of stuff in my sex
life because for me, orgasms are not achievable unless I'm
very um, just aware of my body, my breathing, and
very present. If I'm worried about what the other person
(35:27):
is thinking and what I'm thinking and how I look,
it's not going to be achievable. Um And so yeah,
I I when I'm put in a situation of where
I'm the control is taken from me, or it's being
given like the control is given to me, or being
like it's clear that someone else is driving it and
(35:48):
telling me what to do, or like putting me in
a state that I can't control any of my body
parts so that I can just really focus on my
brain or or just focus on my presence. Then yeah,
I mean I see totally see what they're connected and
it's being able to like. So it says here. Mindful
sex specifically can help you shift your attention away from
negative thoughts and painful stim why through accepting it without
(36:10):
reacting to it, so you can then refocus on pleasure instead. Yes,
because what meditation does is they it teaches you that
your thoughts are like waves with if you're trying to
get out in the ocean and get out to where
it's calmer and get through the waves, you dive under
the wave. You don't just let it hit you and
try to fight it. It'll take so much longer to
get out. If you dive under it, you can dodge
(36:31):
your thoughts much like waves. And that's during sex. I mean,
how many times have you been having sex and the
thoughts are just like, oh, my tips look weird, or
my hurt it's look she might have a thing that
I don't know. Like all these thoughts keep you from
actually concentrating on your genitals or your heart or your
breathing where like where all the arousals taking place, and
(36:51):
they block that. So no wonder so many people have
trouble coming or getting hard or staying aroused. It's too much.
That's like a thing like if I'm like looking in
her eyes and it's like it could be an overload,
where like I'm like, oh no, this is this is
like too heavy, And so then you kind of block
your brain from being like where I'm in the moment
(37:14):
connecting with this person so much that like it could
be overwhelming. So then I disconnect so much that I
can't even enjoy her body or enjoy connection between your
souls through eye contact is too strong? Yeah, it could
be too strong. So then I think I I deflect that,
and then I completely disassociated. I don't think of other ship.
(37:35):
I just I'm not in the moment. I really recommend
people when you're having sex, the next time you're intimate,
challenge yourselves because I just read about this two, not
worry about the other person at all, and just focus
on your own pleasure, and by doing that, you will
bring more pleasure to them. Only stay in your own body,
focus on your don't don't worry yourself about are they happy?
(37:59):
Leave the to them because that's their thing, and leave
your own hap like, focus on your own how you're feeling.
It's really hard to do. It's really hard to do
because so much of sex is like, am I doing
this right? Do I look good enough for him? Do I?
But just like try to stay in yourself and even
like almost forget they're there, and I bet it will
(38:19):
lead to more connectedness. I mean It makes sense because
when we masturbate, we're only thinking about our own general
I'm always thinking about the porn, and when I focus
back in all myself, I'm able to experience something totally different.
I just started doing it, and it's it's I'm just
at the precipice of understanding what that means, but it's
there's something there. Yeah, the b DSM, though, I feel
(38:41):
like also, you just hear anything that has like initials
to it, You're like, that's like weird and in a dungeon,
and like weird people, do you know what I mean?
And then like we we feel like we're dirty or
if we even like think that we might enjoy it.
It's like, how would society view us if we like
to be in leather or whatever getting whipped or and uh, yeah,
(39:05):
I love it and I'm trying to normalize it. I
love being tied up. I love being I would like
a ball gag in my mouth. I would like and
this is not every time I would like to be
I wouldn't mind if the one whipped me with I'm
not crazy, but I have a ball gag in your mouth?
Dat now right? It's that's a couple of people wish
that as well. Um, all right, don't I respect with
(39:27):
this podcast yet? The next story, Um, do you own
a ball? Gag? No, but I would get I would want.
I would want a guy to buy one for me, like,
and that's not something I want. Like the nature of
that is like a guy being like, you can't fucking talk, bitch,
I'm gonna fuck you so good and you're not gonna
be able to even make a noise. Like not bitch,
but like in a loving bitch way. It's kind of
(39:49):
like headgear but naughty like braces, head just drooling all over.
It's not a good look, but it's so there's something
so like I just like, I like being defenseless a
little bit during sex, not all the time. Oh my god.
Next story, I hope you're still having fun. Um Little
Nods breaks the Internet with Montero call Me by Your
Name video and limited I'm Sorry Montero video and limited
(40:15):
edition sneakers that have been inked made with human blood.
So he came out with this video. He you know,
he did Old Town Road. Then he came out of
the closet afterwards. So he made his video essentially being like, uh,
he has sex with Satan at the end of it,
and so are losing their fucking mind, like loving it
(40:38):
or hating it. Hating it? I mean, well, like the
Christian people that there's been mega churches with like his
shoe being like do you air mac nine seven has
made that there's been changes doing Oh no, like oh,
they're all fucking going nuts about the devil because Old
Town Road apparently was a song a lot of kids
(41:00):
like and now like so they're connecting that. But that
song he wrote about He's like, yeah, I talked about
lean and committing adultery in that song. It just sounded fun. Yeah,
you all my baby, Like yeah, there's lyrics in that
that are not Christian, yet they're probably Christians that are like,
we love that song. And now it's a gay man
(41:20):
is having sex with the devil, and he's that's a
bad example. Now my kids are gonna gonna want to
be gay and have sex with the devil and bleed
on their shoes. Yeah, and and and what's crazy is
like they tell this, you know. His whole thing I
think is that when he was coming up and he
was afraid to come out as gay because everyone said
you'll go to hell. Like so they're told their whole
(41:43):
life to hate themselves because they'll go to hell. So
he's just going, hey, I'm going to hell. And not
only am I going to Hell, I'm gonna have a
pretty good time down there. This is where you wanted me.
I'm down where you want And and I think it's
the people can't handle. And and I'll speak honestly, like
when I see like, um, you know, a gay man
on top of another man or Satan and he's like
(42:04):
grinding like a stripper, my first like thought as like
a d as a straight dude, it's like, oh, you know.
And then I watched it again, I'm like, no, this
is fucking bad ass. I'm not like turned on by it,
but I'm just like, this is fucking badass. That initial
thought has been trained in my head to be disgusted.
But then you'll fucking watch some stripper in a movie, uh,
(42:25):
you know, dance on a guy and he'll be like
a guy that is probably worse than Satan, like the
disgusting guy that's at a strip club, like and it's
the same exact dance movie. Yeah. Yeah, so anyways, but yeah,
I totally agree with that, Like I remember being reluctant
to watch Broke Back Mountain back when that came out,
because I'm like, it's you know, I love romantic movies
(42:46):
because I can put myself in them, and that one
I just didn't seem where I fit, you know. And
then I watched it and was like, oh my god,
this is the hottest thing I've ever seen, and it's
it makes me feel just the same ways that heterosexual
romantic comedies are. And then I watched Call Me by
Your Name a couple of weeks ago. It's my one
(43:06):
of my favorite movies, top five favorite movies. It was
so sexy, and the fact that it was a gay
love story had no impact upon my enjoyment of it
and an ability to empathize with those characters. I think
it's such a nice lesson to how how conditioned we
are to just expect heterosexual relationships to be the norm,
(43:31):
and that we can't like, yeah, that's fine for them,
but I don't. I don't need to. It's I can't
relate to it, so I'm not going to expose myself
to it. But it's absolutely relatable and and I can't
wait for more of them. Billy Eichner's going to be
in a rom com the first like gay rom com,
and I'm very excited for that. Yeah. Call Me by
Your Name was incredible, Oh god it was. And there's
(43:52):
a scene where Timothy shall May jumps up on you know,
the Army Hammer who's now not doing great, but it's
a he's a character. Yeah, he jumps up on him
and he's like he plays like the woman in the world,
or like not the woman, but like the feminine energy energy,
And like, at first I watch it, I'm like I
(44:12):
can't and then like I watch it again, Oh, this
is beautifully what this brain of ours that trained, that
is trained this seat is as a negative read something
right it last night that the devil, the creation of
the idea of hell and the Devil is just was
used to control people so that they fear. It's just
a it's a made up thing, obviously. I mean, I
(44:34):
know some people believe it's real, but it's a made
up thing to make you scared so that you stay
in the right lane. It's the same as telling kids
Santa is watching like Santa, or you're gonna get coal
for Christmas. It's the same you if you believe in
hell and are scared of going to hell. You are
just You're the same as a child who believes Santa
is not going to bring you gifts and give you
(44:56):
coal when you're sucking it is. Tell me why that's
not the same. It is the same. And are you so?
Hell Boy is a movie that can I do believe
in God, by the way, So don't get at me
of being like you're a godless horror. I'm not. I
do believe in but it's my own version of it.
But hell boy, hell boy. Uh, there's been video games
(45:16):
with Satan. There's been There's been millions. So is it
saying or is it the gay guy? Like you know
what I mean? What are they upset about? Yeah? Are
you upset about? Oh no, he brings up about someone
like having sex with Satan and like enjoying it and
like he's being it's beautiful. Will nazas we love you?
Last headline, why do we? Why do I care? Why
(45:38):
do I care? I don't know? You tell me. Sharon
Stone says that I'm sorry my she was My phone
is like has a virus. I mean it's cracked a
thousand times on the screen and on the back of it,
it's falling apart, So I understand she was drake, Oh
(46:00):
my god, it keeps going down, dude. It was tricked
into taking off her underwear for the infant scene and
do you want to just start over? Kind of okay,
Sharon Stone what says she was tricked in the infamous
scene and basic Instinct where she on crosses her legs
and she's wearing no underwear. I've never seen that scene.
Do you really see her vagina in it? You see something?
(46:21):
You see something, you see like a little bit of hair,
Like it was so big back then because there were
not that the Internet wasn't huge yet vagina so easily.
I mean, it was the most talked about thing for
young still very another night for the show, my hair
was done in a way of like I said, oh
my god, this is Sharon Stone's hair in that scene
(46:42):
and basically the movie I haven't seen, but that scene
I know it was iconic. And I didn't wear underwear
the other night either, because it was showing on my
scene on my dress and we were like, oh my god,
that's so weird. You said you look like Sharon Stone,
and then later you had to take off your underwear
and the whole show. I didn't have underwear on, and
I couldn't sit down because I so sweaty. I was
scared it was going to sweat through the back and
(47:03):
people are gonna be able to see, like up, you know,
a back pussy imprint on my dress. Um. But she
said that she was in her new book. She has
a new book that has a lot of revelations. But
I think this is very important to know. She was told,
much like I was, by people who meant well, But
she was not told by people who meant well, that
you can see your underwear in the shot, so take
(47:25):
them off and we won't be able to see it.
And then they use that against her in the movie
and put her like that is so fucked up, And
now that's what she's known for, and it's almost like
she's it's almost like her cacter like we don't know
that her character did that. We say Sharon Stone did that,
so we don't even separate it. I couldn't even tell
you what her character's name is. Yeah, I mean, I
(47:47):
mean that is so manipulative and disgusting, and it was
like with agents and lawyers. But she's also molested by
her grandfather. I mean, this girl has had a history
of sex, old abuse, and then you know she's like
leave it in though because she thought it did go.
It did go with the car, she had them leave
(48:08):
it in an interesting way to perceive something that you
thought you knew the story of of like that was
written in the script. It was probably written into like
uncrosses her legs and then how many sex scenes and
movies did like they're probably go, you won't see your
kids completely and then they see the cut and it's
like them completely naked. I'm sure it's happened. Well, you
(48:31):
know what, Actually, I do have a good story about
that happening to me that I'll say for our final
thought at the end of the show, we've got to
get to our next segment. And I also want to
get back to something I teased in the beginning with
you to explain. So, um, let's move on to a
segment we will do often on the show. First time
hearing it, Um, this is the first time we're doing
this segment, but it's one that you will hear very often.
(48:53):
It's called finish my sentence. Noah gives us a sentence,
and Andrew and I tried to predict how the other
person would complete the sentence. And this is just an
example of how well we know each other and how
well we think we know each other and just trying
to um, you know, getting someone else's head and I
and then we will confirm whether or not we got
(49:16):
it right. But we've we've always always in practice, and
we did a pretty good job. Because you do this
to me constantly when we're off there. I know I
have a problem with that. I tell people what they're thinking,
and I'm oftentimes I would say I'm about accuracy. That's right. Okay,
are you ready for the prompt? Yes? What what sentence
will be? Will we be finishing for each other? Okay?
(49:37):
My deepest insecurity is oh dude, okay, okay I can
I you go first? Okay, Hi, my name is Andrew Colin,
and my deepest insecurity here's what hold on? Can I
just talk through my process of what I'm going through
(49:58):
to get to this for my approach, and I think
you should also approach it this way. For me, if
I was telling you what how to think and how
to act, is that you try to think about what
I criticize about other people the most, because if you.
You just if you look at what you are paying
attention to and you hate in other people the most,
(50:19):
it's probably what you hate about in yourself the most,
and it's probably your deepestphere about yourself. So for me
being your friend, I hear you mostly criticize people for
um using their SOB stories to get attention. You always
think that people are trying to like get likes and
like using stuff for like, oh, he just posted about
(50:40):
at his brother dying so that he could get likes,
as opposed to like, oh, maybe he just wants to
talk about his brother and like maybe he wants attention
for it and is asking for you know, support from
his friends. UM or he's bringing awareness to suicide because
his brother comes whatever. But you're like, no, he did
for the likes. It's like you do that a lot,
(51:00):
but it's okay Because I think My name is Andrew
Colin and my deepest insecurity is that people don't is
that people think I'm successful based on things that are
not inherently, that people think I'm successful not for my talent,
(51:22):
but because of things I've gotten from other people or
because of sheer luck, or because of something that's not
in my control, and not because I'm actually talented and
worthy of success. That's good and people and um and
a group of and a group of really attractive younger
college age men seeing my puffy nipples. I mean the
(51:45):
second one. Really, you really nailed me? All right, let
me do my Oh man, It's interesting because I I
I was kind of thinking the same thing. First I
thought your bunyan's, and then I was like, no, I
am so into my bunyans right now around. I'm can
I finish? You might finish? Oh wait, that just like
(52:06):
turned me on. That's all I want to hear is
a guy being like you can you could finish? No? Um,
my deepest insecurity is that you're going to interrupt me
when I'm trying to have a thought. No, my deepest insecurity, honestly, okay,
this is my show reminder to everyone who might be
writing and being like your mean to andrewinal and I'm
talking about me. It's my show deepens insecurity? Is that that? Well?
(52:33):
Now that brought him? I told you that I really
do look show. I guess um, we never even get
to it because I don't let you do it because
I'm so insecure. I don't even want talk about my insecurities. Potentially,
I'm really interested in what you think mightiness. I think
there is something I think like you're very competitive, but
I don't know exactly how I put that as your
(52:54):
deepest insecurity not winning, Yeah, but I think you're deepest
insecurity that I've heard you say that mode is that
I'm Nikki Glazer, and my deepst insecurity is that I
will come that I'm really a fraud and that I'm
not as talented or smart as people may perceive me,
and they're going to find out who I really am.
(53:16):
What you've said a lot, Okay, yeah, um, now I'm
you want to address my Can I address that first? Okay?
That used to be one of my insecurities, but I
at this point, I am very confident in my talent
and how far it goes and how far it doesn't go.
And I'm okay that I'm not as good at the
(53:36):
things that i'm good at or that I want to
be better at. And I do think that I actually
am deserving of the things I get now. I really
and it wasn't so long ago that I felt like
a fraud. But I if I work hard enough, I
am not a fraud and I'm capable of great things.
But it's it's more an insecurity of not working hard
enough and people being like you, you could have done better,
(53:58):
and and and knowing my cell like, yeah, you're right,
I could have done butter, but that was pretty spot
on and can I defend mine? Um, I feel like
that I have said that about the likes and like,
but I feel that I have. I I've seen people
say this tragic thing happened to me where I wouldn't
(54:19):
feel that way. It's a certain person or a certain
uh you know you think, like a fun boy type guy. Yeah,
funk boy type person that like bases their life like
you could I just see I think I see through things.
But a lot of it is probably I just see
myself in that person, and I can admit that. But
(54:40):
I can also see it when I'll be honest, when
I insecurity, I mean, nut's up there. I think I
think you nailed it with the that people. It's the
same thing with like talent and like wondering, you know
why I'm in a certain situation. Did I just get
lucky or did I just fall into it because I was,
you know, a dog walker or whatever, like, am I
(55:01):
actually talented? Yeah, I'm sure that's one of the things.
Or that's a big one and my nipples, I guess,
but um, yeah, I think so. I think that's probably
up there. All right, let's get to the final thought
moving into our departure on today's episode. I wanted to
get back to a couple of things. But that was
(55:21):
very enlightening, everything that we just talked about, and I
think it's going to lead to an intense discussion later
on where we we usually have a heart to heart
about once a month where we get all of our
frustrations out and we um, we usually come to an
understanding of you know, uh that our friendship is and
I think it's steroid in a current situation. Yeah, like
(55:44):
we we literally are with each other twenty is a
pressure cooker or uh emotions, Yes, absolutely, and especially I
think you said it before you want to repeat what
you're saying about, like, uh, it's it's mind boggling that
we would get into an argument based on Oh yeah,
it's crazy that we would end up getting into any
(56:07):
kind of argument considering we just broke down each other's
deepest insecurity. How weird, Yeah, how weird that would bring
up some stuff for us that we both are talking
telling each other what we should be insecure about. Yeah,
and then and then and then and then breaking it apart. Yeah,
you know what you want to do? Find your best
(56:28):
friend at home out there and just tell each other
you're deep what you think is most insecure post So
final thought though, um I teased in the beginning, will
you tell people what about the pizza incident last night?
What did I had six pieces know about talking about deconstructing? Okay,
(56:53):
I'm not a cheese Okay. My perfect pizza is five
times sauce uh and and very little amount of cheese.
And I know that drives people wild. A lot of
people are cheese heads out there. I'm not one. Are
you trying to avoid calories or It's like if cheese
had no calories, would that still be the same. Okay,
(57:15):
I'm gonna go a little deeper here. I think I
don't love a ton of cheese because your boy was
afraid of choking for a little while in his life,
and a lot of cheese is tough to swallow at times,
so I avoid it, and it has a little bit
of fear of choking on the cheese as well as
I just don't love a ton of cheese. So let
(57:37):
me just say what I witnessed last night. First of all,
we're having a party. Before everyone got there, Andrew made
a dinner for himself and for Robin, and a full dinner,
like all the food groups were hit. It was like
a stir fry with everything in it. You do these
meals a lot, very filling. And then I ordered pizza
for the people that would be coming to the party.
(57:58):
And the pizza gets here and no one's eating it,
and then I think Andrew got a little anxious. And
I saw him going to the pizza and this wasn't
directly after his meal, so it had time to like
he had time to get full from his meal. And
then I think he was feeling left out of conversations
or something was happening. It was before you decided to
leave anxiously. But I saw you go into this like
(58:22):
zone of like eating a little bit compulsively. But I
only notice it because I do that. And I take
a piece of pizza that this was maybe his sixth piece,
and I could see him even going for it like
he was on autopilot, like he wasn't thinking about anymore.
And he you know that time when you when you
decided to start binging and you've turned off the part
(58:45):
of your brain that feels bad about what you're doing
and you're just letting yourself do it. I think that
was that was the like the third piece, so you
feel bad, and then the fourth, fifth, and six, you're
just like, it's already done, let's just do this. So
you were in the sixth I saw you take the
piece of pizza, peel the entire piece of cheese off,
like the whole cheese came off in a coagulated like
in the triangle, and where there's six people around us.
(59:09):
Many of these are attractive young girls that probably Andrew,
as an adult male, would might want to look desirable
around women or men. So at this point he is
literally a two ft He's surrounded by these girls and
none of us, I think, are eating at this point.
And I watched him at the corner of my eye
in his own world, like totally like not even paying
(59:31):
attention to anyone else. Take the pizza, cheese off the pizza,
hold it in his hand, take one bite of the
pizza without the cheese on it, and then eat, shoved
the whole thing of cheese in his mouth that he's
just it was like like it was either all or
at least three quarters of it. And then look at
(59:51):
it and kind of go, do I want this? Go
back to the un cheese less pizza, cheese pizza, eat
finished that, then eat the rest of the cheese, and
this isn't like So I'm just so Later this morning,
I go, I have to ask you what was I
wasn't going to call it on in person because I
didn't want embarrass you, but I needed but I wanted
to do it on our podcast where many more people
were listening. So what was that? If you don't like cheese,
(01:00:17):
why wouldn't you take the cheese often put in the
trash or put it on a plate. Why would you
take it off and immediately eat it? Dude? Sometimes, like
you said, I got lost in a binge. It's a
blur to me. I black out a little bit. I
guess when I eat like that, I was I was
a little anxious. Just I think I was just overly
tired last night. Um, haven't had much sleep. I just
(01:00:37):
lost myself in the pizza. I think a lot of
people I also had a beer and I haven't drank
in two years, but it was a non alcoholic beer,
and that might have sparked something, because every time I
would drink back in the day, your boy was eating everything.
I would wake up with a roast beef like eighteen
foot sandwich that I probably fucked with mayonnaise all over
(01:00:59):
my face or something else. She sucked it. The mayonnaise
might have been something else, because you sucked the sandwich person,
then you ate it. Come whatever it was. Your boy
was eating it. I didn't care what it was, and
so I think it might like I had this Heineken zero,
and I think it might have sparked this feeling in
me of like, who that loose, let my hair down,
that's receding and let's get after this fucking Did you
(01:01:21):
go work out today thinking about the six pieces? But
I didn't. I didn't go extra hard because of it.
I did in the middle of the night think about
the pizza I eight and how many slices I had.
I'm not gonna lie, but um, I bet you weren't
shirtless last night. I started off no, I went shirtless
(01:01:41):
halfway through. I think after the pizza dissolved yeah, totally evaporate.
And then with one minute left in the show, I
wanted to follow up on the Sharonstone story that happened
to me, where something that was edited in a way
to make me look more horrsh than I ever intended
to be. I was shooting a sketch and it was
a where I had to flash my tits and I
(01:02:02):
was wearing a bra, strapless nude bra, and I thought
it was going to be shot and what did I
think it was going to. I thought it was going
to Oh, I was wearing a regular bra, sorry, And
I thought it was just gonna be me flashing my
bra in the in the film, in the short thing
(01:02:22):
we did, but instead they blurred it so it looked
like my loose tits were out, like like I had
actually exposed my breasts, and they made it almost like
pixelated to look like my boobs were out. And I
was so fucking furious, even though its pixelated that that
this dumb sketch I wasn't even getting paid for and
was I was already so mad I was doing was
(01:02:42):
then made me out to show that I would do
I would do nudity in front of a whole crew
uh for that role, and I was, and I was
furious and I felt really violated by it because I
was under depression. I was the character was flashing her bra,
which is hilarious to flash your bra, but it's said
it looked like I flashed my tips to the crew
(01:03:02):
and to be deceived in a in a short that
was yeah, like not being paid for it was like
some internet thing that I didn't even want to do,
and I felt like it was so was a mix
of all those things. But that's a very small level
of deception that happens. I mean, there's so many stories
you show your Hell, yes I would. I can't wait
to get these things out there. They're fantastic. They got
(01:03:27):
a couple more years less, but I want them to
be like I'd have to we'd have to shoot around
when I'm obviulate or like when I'm about to start
a period, because they're like bigger and taught, like I
can literally have like a cup size bigger, and they
just sit better right now, like I they're not as
great as they could be, and I they're about a
(01:03:48):
week away from being just fantastic. When do you ever
feel your own kids and go, wow, these kids are great,
like no, but I should, I should, all right, And
with that, we're going to wrap up today's show. Thank
you so much for listening you guys. We are going
to name our listeners tomorrow, so make sure you are
there for that. Thank you for all your submissions you've
sent so far. You can always write to the show
(01:04:08):
UM at the Nikki Laser Podcast at gmail dot com,
or you can follow us on Instagram at Nikki Glaser
Pod on Instagram, and that's where we're gonna put exclusive
content that is more um, you know, fitted for fans
of this show, because we just feel more connected to
you than we do with our fans maybe on our
own accounts. At least for me, that's that's how I feel.
(01:04:29):
So make sure you follow us over there and and
keep subscribing and rating and reviewing on on the podcast.
It really means a lot. Thank you for everyone who's
done it so far, and thank you for all your
feedback for the show and the d m s. It's
meant so much to me. I love you guys. Yeah,
it's been very nice and overwhelming and uh yeah it
feels awesome. UM. You know, I just want to we
(01:04:52):
have to thank you Okay, goodbye, thanks no uh, we'll
see you tomorrow too. Enjoy uh huh. And