Paulie & Tony give their GENIUS idea to save these BORING NBA Finals, and explain why the NBA needs to copy the WNBA. Plus, so-called "sports expert" David Samson gets VOTED OFF THE SHOW for giving the dumbest take in human history. Also, the guys give their SMART solution to stop the NFL schedule uproar.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
On today's show, we'll tell you what the NBA needs
to do right now to make this Nuggets Finals remotely interesting.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Let's go role intro. All right, all right, yo yo yo.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Or you're live from Philly. It's the number one rated
Polly and Tony Fools go show, Yom yom, y'are always
Polly Fools go here with Tony Foolsco and Tony Yo
huge show today.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
You know we get some smart ideas, very small fix
the NBA and NFL.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
It's gonna blow your mind people.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yup, yup, You're gonna have a whole new Paradigham neft today.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yeah you are? You sure right?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
You know, by the way, Tony just the quicker s idea.
You know, these morons they keep coming up to us,
and you know what they say. They say, why do
you guys, you know I listened to the show. Why
do you guys always agree on everything?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
They're so dumb.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
We agree on everything because we're right, because we're always right, dummy.
You know all the problems with sports me and you know,
and if I may say, this whole country, you know
they started when people started thinking there were two sides.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
To every debate.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Absolutely, people there's only one side, and the sooner you
realize that, the better.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, get with the programer ready, Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And yeah, yeah, you better move fast because we're about
to hit you with some ideas, I tell you. Oh yeah, well,
all that and talking about lot with ideas, you know,
we got to bring on this guest today. This guy
he thinks he's so smart. This guy he's you know,
he's always given expert insight quote unquote expert insight on
what leagues and teams should do. We're going to show
him what smart really looks like, what an expert looks like.
(01:38):
He's the host of Nothing Personal on Metalwock Media, former
president of the Miami, Florida Marlins. So that tells you
everything right there. Anyway, his name is David Samson.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, it's going to be David versus Goliath on the
show today.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But before we get to that, a quick word from
our newest sponsor, our good friends at Amazon Prime. When
you order something, do you wait more than twenty four
hours to get it, Well, then you're wasting your life away.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah. And if you can wait more than a day
for the things you need, then clearly you got nothing
going on in your life loser.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
And we've arranged a special deal for all our loyal
viewers and listeners. Log on to Amazon dot com now
enter the promo code FUSCO, and you'll receive point two
percent off your first order of five hundred dollars a more.
Offer only valid in the Gayman Islands Amazon Prime.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, say, there you go.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
We got that business out of the way.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So let's get right into our top story story. All right,
That dot story is truly the biggest story in all
of basketball. And no, it's not the Denver Nuggets making
the NBA Finals, No nobody cares. And it's definitely not
Lebron possibly retiring.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Nobody's getting good riddance to him.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, exactly. And it's definitely not Carmelo Anthony retiring.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I thought he tied like five years ago.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Yeah, same here.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Anyway, the biggest story is clearly what's going on in
the WNBA. Britney Grinder's WNBA return to the Phoenix Mercuries
was the league's most watched game since nineteen ninety nine.
It scored six hundred and eighty three thousand viewers. You know,
watch so virtually nothing, but you know, in WNBA terms,
(03:24):
that's your numbers exactly. Anyway, Tony, don't be surprised, you
know if other leagues take notice.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Of this, right absolutely, you know, if I'm NHL Commissioner
Gary Bettman, I have to consider copying the Britney grinder
strategy to juice ratings. You take that conom McDavid guy,
and you send him over to Russia and have him
imprisoned in a Russian jail for only a year or so.
Then we trade him back to America for a Russian
(03:51):
war criminal and bada bing, bada bum. Everyone's watching oiler
games again, record ratings exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And you know, you look at the NBA right now,
you know you got this possible Nuggets heat turn of
a final that nobody wants to watch.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, Adam Silver right now has got.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
To be considering having North Korea maybe captured Jamal Murray,
you know, just for a few days, you know, just
before the series starts, and maybe you know, you think
about it right at game time, you know, Jamal Murray
just parachutes down.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Into the arena like a fan man. You know, the
ratings would be ratings through the roof.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
In fact, the PGA Championship just got its lowest ratings
since two thousand and eight. Don't be surprised that before
the US Open Rooks Koepka winds up being captured by
a Venezuelan drug cartel or maybe a roving band of
sea pirates.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Terrific points Tony bound to happen. Absolutely, let's move to
another story. This out of the NFL big controversy. You know, people,
they're up in arms about the NFL's flex scheduling. So
what happened is, you know, the league announced that Thursday
night games could get moved to different days at the
very last minute, you know, sickly screwing over the fans
(05:02):
who flew into down and booked hotel rooms.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Exactly. Yeah, you know, But Donny, you.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Know, one of the reasons we've been so successful in
this business for so many years is, you know, we
just don't bitch and moan like other hosts about No,
we have answers.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Yeah, we come up with solutions.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
You had a great one for this. Tell the people,
here's my solution. The games are being broadcast on Amazon right, Well,
if the game gets moved, what if Amazon uses Prime
to ship all sixty thousand fans to the new location
for the game.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I mean, if Amazon's already shipping all the shit around
every day, like dishwashers and toilet plungers and whatnot, why
not just ship the people too. It would be a
great sponsor integration. Like, wow, look at this, everybody, all
the fans were shipped here tonight courtesy of Amazon Prime.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Just a brilliant solution, Tony.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
And you know, you talk about sponsor integration, Well, that
was a great way to'll bring back our sponsor.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
For today's show.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Now they got to pay us twice for that.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Just brilliant exactly, another check in the mail.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And you know, just when we're at it, Tony, you know,
just spitball and piggyback and here, what if every week
a player in the Thursday night NFL game was captured
by a hostile foreign government, you know, and then they
will shipped back to America by Amazon Prime.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
That would be huge ratings through the roof, must see TV.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know, this is this is why Tony was so
respected in the business. It's it's for solutions like this
that are just sitting right there for the people.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And that's what we do, you.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Know, talking about respecting the business.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You know, people they you know, they've been coming up
to us to talking to us about the Sports Emmys,
you know, which we're handed out this week. You know,
people keep asking us, say what you're nominated for Outstanding
Sports Studios. And you know what we tell everybody, which
is obvious, is you know, the award isn't given to
people like us. No, see, it's given and rewarded to
(07:04):
the safest, most non threatening people in the business. You know,
to make yourself eligible for this award, you have to
have as few opinions as possible. That's that's just that
automatically disqualifies us. You see, the award goes to the
host who makes his corporate bosses feel the most comfortable.
(07:25):
Point in fact, let's check out the list of nominees.
Al right here with the nominees, let's go down this list.
So you got rich Eisen, you know, a good choice,
but he does give an opinion about once a month, Yeah,
which is not good. You know, that's too much. Scott
Van Pelt, you know, nice guy, but you know.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
He makes jokes, he makes to make a little quip
here and there that you know, disqualification automatic.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
There.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Riece Davis, great guy, but host College game day.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Which is to get a little crazy over raucus. Then
off the list.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
James Brown, you know, always a solid choice, but he's
already won it three so this voter fatigue. Yeah, please
do our clear runaway winner of course for the second
straight year. Mike Turriko. Yeah, Mikey, true professional. Tony sticks
to the script.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Ye never goes off script, no improvising.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
He's the perfect host for the Olympics and horse races.
Just a corporation, get worried and there there we go.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Congratulations round for you, Mikey.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
T Well, speaking of someone who didn't ever get any votes,
and you'll find out why in just a moment. Our
guest is coming on the line, so let's bring him
on the FUSCO Satellite Network.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Satellite all right.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
This guy fancies himself an expert at everything. Listen to
this resume. Tony started out as a lawyer, so that
does your something right there. Yeah, he became president of
the Florida Marlins from O two to twenty seventeen when
they won a world series and then totally you know,
went to ship but that's another story. I currently host
a podcast called Done Nothing Personal on Metalwalk Media and
(09:05):
get this. He was once a contestant on Survivor, where
he was the first contested voted off in the first episode.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
You're killing me, so yeah, it.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Probably tells you how this interview is going to go.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, exactly, and guess what, there's no immunity over here
on this show.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Oh you don't have that anyway, Let's bring him in,
David Sampson.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
I can't believe you're leading with Survivor. Seriously, it looks.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Like we hit a saw subject here, Tony. What happened then?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (09:33):
You know, why do you get voted half so early?
You got a body o the problem or something?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
What didn't you get you didn't get naked fast enough.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
They put me on the brains tribe. They dressed me
like Thurston Howell. They had an ascot on me. And
you wonder why I was voted off first.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
No, actually I don't, because Thurston Howell lasted on his
island for six years.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So yeah, exactly, great point, great point.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Terrible comparison there. Yeah, you think you'd have a better
one worked out by now?
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Nope, I think that that one's worked perfectly until today.
So I will try to think of a better one.
But frankly, all right, that's it. I'm not trying anymore.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
All right, See, that's what we do. That's what we do.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
We g as we make you bet. All right, well
let's get into it. Let's talk about the top story
in basketball.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
You probably think it's the NBA Finals coming up, a
Lebron retiring, because you know your mainstream media, that's how.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
You people, that's what they do. The big story is
what just happened in the w NBA exactly. See Britney
Grinder's return became the highest rated game in the WNBA
since nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
So, David, come here.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Don't you think other leagues should consider copying the smart strategy?
You know, have a stop player, you know, maybe kidnapped
by a foreign country, then released a year later, build
that drama in juice ratings isn't that shot?
Speaker 5 (10:50):
It says though you should be a general manager. I mean,
that is the ago brilliant. It's one of the things
I didn't think of when running a team for eighteen years.
Let's go full Midnight Express and let's see if we
can win more games.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
We love terrific modern movie rac exactly great. When you
were with the Mallins, nobody was watching those crappy games.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
You know, it's terrible. I had to watch them every day,
every game.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I feel sorry for you.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, you had a better chance of catching an actual
malin than catching someone watching those games. But you know, now,
looking back, don't you think maybe you should have had
Dontrell Willis kidnapped.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
No, I would like to have actually seen some better
hitting that may have been better when we because.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Now you're missing the point.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
Until he left us and he couldn't really pitch as
well with the Tigers. I feel as though to raise attendance,
we should have done a whole lot more. Maybe we
could have done that everyone in the crowd was subject
to a search, and that it was like a lottery,
and that one of every ten people, so a total
of two people every game would be detained and forced
to watch every game.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
No, No, you missing the point. That you're missing the point.
What you would have happen is have Dontrelle Willis may
be kidnapped by a drug cartel and then released several
months later in a prisoner swap.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, and then like you know, in the first inning,
he's not there, but in the seventh he's wondering, maybe
you'll come in for the save if they release him.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Would we still have to pay him if he got kidnapped?
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Oh see, I know how you people think, you people
in the front office.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
So yeah, the front office, that's all that. You're unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
I'm just saying that if we don't have to pay
a player if they're kidnapped, because when they're injured, you
have to pay him.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
But maybe kidnapped.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Interesting, does Metal Luck pay you for these takes? Not
nearly enough?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Clearly, yeah, exactly too much. Yeah, all right, let's go to.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Another story here that you know, seems up your rally
here NFL. You know, they're just they're pissing off people
with this Thursday night flex scheduling. Now, yeah, you heard
about this, you're talking about it the other day. You
had nothing interesting to say. So we're going to give
you a solution and listen to it. When you listen there,
you're going to be jealous. You know, you're a businessman.
Here's our solution. The game is on Amazon. What if
(13:07):
Amazon just used Prime if they you know, if they
flex the game? What if Amazon just used Prime to
ship all the sixty thousand fans to the city where
the game is.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
It's called brand integration.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, problem solved.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
He's mind blown, Tony Yep.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Would it be two days shipping or would it be
overnight shipping because that's a big difference in terms.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Of the hotel.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
You're slow on the uptake here.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Of course, it's prime. Next day. Prime is next day,
next day. Ologize to our sponsors at Amazon.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, Amazon, good people, next day, not two day. Where
I live, it's day.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I have a thought.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yeah, God, where I live, it's not next day, So
I absolutely will not co sign your take.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
However, a two day shipping. Here's what I.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Would suggest they do in the NFL for a Thursday
night flex. Oh, I think that they should take always
the two worst teams every week and put him on
the Thursday night Amazon game, because it will prove that
no matter who's playing, the same number of people are
gonna watch.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
All right, So let me try and follow your train
of thought if there is one. So you would just
have the Colts play the Titans every single week?
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Is that what you said?
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Well, the first the first week, everybody's tied for last,
so you can take anybody week one. But week two
it's got to be two Ozho to one teams. Week
three it's got to be two Oho and two teams.
You know, it's always the two worst tea.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
This guy ran the Marlins. Now it's all making sense.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, it was also why he got a show. He
got kicked off Survivor day one.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Also, I mean, if there's one thing you know, it's
how not to.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Get an audience.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
Let me tell you the reason I got kicked off
Survivor is that all my great ideas they went up
in smoke. Absolutely in smoke because of the way that
I was treated on that show, and it's very disappointing.
But the idea of playing bad teams and flexing every
week instead of just two out of the last five,
I think it's brilliant. I'm gonna maybe go with that.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
That would be the definition of show. That is forget
the fans. Who cares? I honestly, this is the Marlins.
This is the Florida Marlins, brand Tony, this is what
this messo.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
It is.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Forget the fans might as well have been their slogan. Yeah, man,
this is you're not doing yourself any favors, David. You know,
we're gonna give you another chance here. Maybe you'll say something.
Let's hold along here to them. I probably saw it
last week. Who has made national news? Or take on
Jahn Morant? You know we said we defended him. We said,
you know, he plays for Memphis. The team name is
(15:39):
the Grizzlies. If you're a bunch of Grizzlies running around
all over the mountains, wouldn't it be stupid not to
carry a gun?
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Don't you agree?
Speaker 5 (15:49):
I think that as I think about Jahn Morant, that
is the difference that everyone on the Grizzlies should carry
a gun, because then he would stick out at all.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
You go.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
There you go, Now you again, you're back on the
right track. There you go. That's what we're going to
push for.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
I'm going to push for that at the next league meeting,
that we should arm every player and then there's no
way to certain and we should hold all practices in
strip clubs.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Well see, there you go again. You had a good
point right in the palm of your hand and then
you threw it away. That's what I do. I'm famous
for that.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, he's having trouble, Tony. Maybe you gotta just put
this in terms you can understand.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's like, let's say you're in Florida, right, and you
got all those marlins swimming around. If your player goes
out boating, what did you want him to have a
fishing rod or a harpoon gun. There's nothing wrong with that, right,
I think that dynamite actually works better.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
No, you know, all right, but it's not the terrible solution.
They We'll give him a break down. One last question
for you, all right. You know you're when you ate
with the Marlins, you were big into salary management, right,
that's what you did. You know you were screwing players
over usual exactly. You're just trying to do it here
with Don True So your team was anyway. You know
(17:07):
people saying Patrick Mahomes should be paid more than Jalen Hurts, right,
saying that, But did you see this. Jalen Hurts actually
went and got his master's degree from the University of Oklahoma.
Now we all know that people with master's degrees should
be paid.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
More than people who don't have them.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Don't you agree that Jalen Hurts should be paid, you know,
at least twenty thirty percent more for that extra education.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
I think that lawyers actually should get thirty percent less,
and people who get a master should get twenty percent less,
but doctors should get twenty percent more. So I would propose,
actually that you pay players according to whether or not
they're doctors, because then they can fix themselves when they
get injured.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
That is the dumbest fucking take I've ever heard in
my whole life.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I've tried it. You know, we we had players.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
We didn't think any doctor can possibly fix you, Tony.
Before this, you know what, you know, before this reaches
a new low the show. Guess what, David Sampson, the
votes of vid and you've been voted off Fosco Island
because you're off the show.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
You're off the show. You're done. You're voted off the
show on prime ship. Build off to it, Irish, torch
no immunity.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Your house and burn it down, just like you torched
the whole Marlins franchise.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
See up?
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Is he off the line?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Jay? Hang up the phone.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
You know I can't believe that the Florida Marlins let
that guy run their organization for fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, actually I can believe it.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, you know, you're a good point, Tony. I kind
of do believe it to anyway. Yeah, you know, let's
not let him ruin, which was a terrific show for
right show of yues. We want to thank uh sponsor
is a good friends at Amazon.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Prime Amazon the way to go if it.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Isn't someone who's ass kicking.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, produce Jay, What do you want?
Speaker 7 (19:10):
What corrections?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
What hurry up?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Go you said?
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Brittany Grinder plays for the Phoenix Mercuries.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, bro wnba we never miss a game. Yeah, that's
the name. Yeah, bro, it's not Mercury's. It's just Mercury.
You don't add an S at the end of it.
It's singular.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Oh yeah, well you know what's at the end your
time on Earth.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, and I just checked your relationship status. Looks like
that's also singular.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Oh got it.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, let's go. Well we're done. No second, what hurry
up go? You guys?
Speaker 7 (19:47):
Said? The PGA champion was brooks Cepka.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Yeah, bro legend, he's awesome.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
It's not Kleepka, it's brooks Keopka.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Oh yeah, Well I'm going to Crapca down your throat.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and you know what's going to be a hole
in one. You're a grave dony, You're done. Let's get
out of here.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
No more, what last one?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
What hurry up?
Speaker 7 (20:15):
You said the word paradigam.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, bro, it's a wave of seeing things.
Speaker 7 (20:21):
Yeah, you clearly meant to say paradie. There's no such
word as parentigam. No.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
See what I meant to say, is you?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah? I hope you paradime a horrible death boom poor ly, Shit,
he's soaking poorly.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
He's seeing things from a new paradigam. Now sure enough
sad life? Oh wait, hold on, Tony, a better way
to close out this show? Just got this in next
guest on a next show, super Bowl Hero just booked,
Nick will be Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
That is huge news, huge news.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And in the meantime, while we wait for that, remember
subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Dick doc.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
We're all episodes, we're just taking off.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Listen to them all again.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, and Tony, great job as always, same to you,
fully another flawless show.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
We'll see you people next week.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
See uh
On today's show, we'll tell you what the NBA needs
to do right now to make this Nuggets Finals remotely interesting.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Let's go role intro. All right, all right, yo yo yo.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Or you're live from Philly. It's the number one rated
Polly and Tony Fools go show, Yom yom, y'are always
Polly Fools go here with Tony Foolsco and Tony Yo
huge show today.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
You know we get some smart ideas, very small fix
the NBA and NFL.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
It's gonna blow your mind people.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yup, yup, You're gonna have a whole new Paradigham neft today.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yeah you are? You sure right?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
You know, by the way, Tony just the quicker s idea.
You know, these morons they keep coming up to us,
and you know what they say. They say, why do
you guys, you know I listened to the show. Why
do you guys always agree on everything?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
They're so dumb.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
We agree on everything because we're right, because we're always right, dummy.
You know all the problems with sports me and you know,
and if I may say, this whole country, you know
they started when people started thinking there were two sides.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
To every debate.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Absolutely, people there's only one side, and the sooner you
realize that, the better.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, get with the programer ready, Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And yeah, yeah, you better move fast because we're about
to hit you with some ideas, I tell you. Oh yeah, well,
all that and talking about lot with ideas, you know,
we got to bring on this guest today. This guy
he thinks he's so smart. This guy he's you know,
he's always given expert insight quote unquote expert insight on
what leagues and teams should do. We're going to show
him what smart really looks like, what an expert looks like.
(01:38):
He's the host of Nothing Personal on Metalwock Media, former
president of the Miami, Florida Marlins. So that tells you
everything right there. Anyway, his name is David Samson.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, it's going to be David versus Goliath on the
show today.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But before we get to that, a quick word from
our newest sponsor, our good friends at Amazon Prime. When
you order something, do you wait more than twenty four
hours to get it, Well, then you're wasting your life away.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah. And if you can wait more than a day
for the things you need, then clearly you got nothing
going on in your life loser.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
And we've arranged a special deal for all our loyal
viewers and listeners. Log on to Amazon dot com now
enter the promo code FUSCO, and you'll receive point two
percent off your first order of five hundred dollars a more.
Offer only valid in the Gayman Islands Amazon Prime.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, say, there you go.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
We got that business out of the way.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So let's get right into our top story story. All right,
That dot story is truly the biggest story in all
of basketball. And no, it's not the Denver Nuggets making
the NBA Finals, No nobody cares. And it's definitely not
Lebron possibly retiring.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Nobody's getting good riddance to him.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, exactly. And it's definitely not Carmelo Anthony retiring.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I thought he tied like five years ago.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Yeah, same here.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Anyway, the biggest story is clearly what's going on in
the WNBA. Britney Grinder's WNBA return to the Phoenix Mercuries
was the league's most watched game since nineteen ninety nine.
It scored six hundred and eighty three thousand viewers. You know,
watch so virtually nothing, but you know, in WNBA terms,
(03:24):
that's your numbers exactly. Anyway, Tony, don't be surprised, you
know if other leagues take notice.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Of this, right absolutely, you know, if I'm NHL Commissioner
Gary Bettman, I have to consider copying the Britney grinder
strategy to juice ratings. You take that conom McDavid guy,
and you send him over to Russia and have him
imprisoned in a Russian jail for only a year or so.
Then we trade him back to America for a Russian
(03:51):
war criminal and bada bing, bada bum. Everyone's watching oiler
games again, record ratings exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And you know, you look at the NBA right now,
you know you got this possible Nuggets heat turn of
a final that nobody wants to watch.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, Adam Silver right now has got.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
To be considering having North Korea maybe captured Jamal Murray,
you know, just for a few days, you know, just
before the series starts, and maybe you know, you think
about it right at game time, you know, Jamal Murray
just parachutes down.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Into the arena like a fan man. You know, the
ratings would be ratings through the roof.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
In fact, the PGA Championship just got its lowest ratings
since two thousand and eight. Don't be surprised that before
the US Open Rooks Koepka winds up being captured by
a Venezuelan drug cartel or maybe a roving band of
sea pirates.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Terrific points Tony bound to happen. Absolutely, let's move to
another story. This out of the NFL big controversy. You know, people,
they're up in arms about the NFL's flex scheduling. So
what happened is, you know, the league announced that Thursday
night games could get moved to different days at the
very last minute, you know, sickly screwing over the fans
(05:02):
who flew into down and booked hotel rooms.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Exactly. Yeah, you know, But Donny, you.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Know, one of the reasons we've been so successful in
this business for so many years is, you know, we
just don't bitch and moan like other hosts about No,
we have answers.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Yeah, we come up with solutions.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
You had a great one for this. Tell the people,
here's my solution. The games are being broadcast on Amazon right, Well,
if the game gets moved, what if Amazon uses Prime
to ship all sixty thousand fans to the new location
for the game.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I mean, if Amazon's already shipping all the shit around
every day, like dishwashers and toilet plungers and whatnot, why
not just ship the people too. It would be a
great sponsor integration. Like, wow, look at this, everybody, all
the fans were shipped here tonight courtesy of Amazon Prime.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Just a brilliant solution, Tony.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
And you know, you talk about sponsor integration, Well, that
was a great way to'll bring back our sponsor.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
For today's show.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Now they got to pay us twice for that.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Just brilliant exactly, another check in the mail.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And you know, just when we're at it, Tony, you know,
just spitball and piggyback and here, what if every week
a player in the Thursday night NFL game was captured
by a hostile foreign government, you know, and then they
will shipped back to America by Amazon Prime.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
That would be huge ratings through the roof, must see TV.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know, this is this is why Tony was so
respected in the business. It's it's for solutions like this
that are just sitting right there for the people.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And that's what we do, you.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Know, talking about respecting the business.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You know, people they you know, they've been coming up
to us to talking to us about the Sports Emmys,
you know, which we're handed out this week. You know,
people keep asking us, say what you're nominated for Outstanding
Sports Studios. And you know what we tell everybody, which
is obvious, is you know, the award isn't given to
people like us. No, see, it's given and rewarded to
(07:04):
the safest, most non threatening people in the business. You know,
to make yourself eligible for this award, you have to
have as few opinions as possible. That's that's just that
automatically disqualifies us. You see, the award goes to the
host who makes his corporate bosses feel the most comfortable.
(07:25):
Point in fact, let's check out the list of nominees.
Al right here with the nominees, let's go down this list.
So you got rich Eisen, you know, a good choice,
but he does give an opinion about once a month, Yeah,
which is not good. You know, that's too much. Scott
Van Pelt, you know, nice guy, but you know.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
He makes jokes, he makes to make a little quip
here and there that you know, disqualification automatic.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
There.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Riece Davis, great guy, but host College game day.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Which is to get a little crazy over raucus. Then
off the list.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
James Brown, you know, always a solid choice, but he's
already won it three so this voter fatigue. Yeah, please
do our clear runaway winner of course for the second
straight year. Mike Turriko. Yeah, Mikey, true professional. Tony sticks
to the script.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Ye never goes off script, no improvising.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
He's the perfect host for the Olympics and horse races.
Just a corporation, get worried and there there we go.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Congratulations round for you, Mikey.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
T Well, speaking of someone who didn't ever get any votes,
and you'll find out why in just a moment. Our
guest is coming on the line, so let's bring him
on the FUSCO Satellite Network.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Satellite all right.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
This guy fancies himself an expert at everything. Listen to
this resume. Tony started out as a lawyer, so that
does your something right there. Yeah, he became president of
the Florida Marlins from O two to twenty seventeen when
they won a world series and then totally you know,
went to ship but that's another story. I currently host
a podcast called Done Nothing Personal on Metalwalk Media and
(09:05):
get this. He was once a contestant on Survivor, where
he was the first contested voted off in the first episode.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
You're killing me, so yeah, it.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Probably tells you how this interview is going to go.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, exactly, and guess what, there's no immunity over here
on this show.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Oh you don't have that anyway, Let's bring him in,
David Sampson.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
I can't believe you're leading with Survivor. Seriously, it looks.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Like we hit a saw subject here, Tony. What happened then?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (09:33):
You know, why do you get voted half so early?
You got a body o the problem or something?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
What didn't you get you didn't get naked fast enough.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
They put me on the brains tribe. They dressed me
like Thurston Howell. They had an ascot on me. And
you wonder why I was voted off first.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
No, actually I don't, because Thurston Howell lasted on his
island for six years.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So yeah, exactly, great point, great point.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Terrible comparison there. Yeah, you think you'd have a better
one worked out by now?
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Nope, I think that that one's worked perfectly until today.
So I will try to think of a better one.
But frankly, all right, that's it. I'm not trying anymore.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
All right, See, that's what we do. That's what we do.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
We g as we make you bet. All right, well
let's get into it. Let's talk about the top story
in basketball.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
You probably think it's the NBA Finals coming up, a
Lebron retiring, because you know your mainstream media, that's how.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
You people, that's what they do. The big story is
what just happened in the w NBA exactly. See Britney
Grinder's return became the highest rated game in the WNBA
since nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
So, David, come here.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Don't you think other leagues should consider copying the smart strategy?
You know, have a stop player, you know, maybe kidnapped
by a foreign country, then released a year later, build
that drama in juice ratings isn't that shot?
Speaker 5 (10:50):
It says though you should be a general manager. I mean,
that is the ago brilliant. It's one of the things
I didn't think of when running a team for eighteen years.
Let's go full Midnight Express and let's see if we
can win more games.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
We love terrific modern movie rac exactly great. When you
were with the Mallins, nobody was watching those crappy games.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
You know, it's terrible. I had to watch them every day,
every game.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I feel sorry for you.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, you had a better chance of catching an actual
malin than catching someone watching those games. But you know, now,
looking back, don't you think maybe you should have had
Dontrell Willis kidnapped.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
No, I would like to have actually seen some better
hitting that may have been better when we because.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Now you're missing the point.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
Until he left us and he couldn't really pitch as
well with the Tigers. I feel as though to raise attendance,
we should have done a whole lot more. Maybe we
could have done that everyone in the crowd was subject
to a search, and that it was like a lottery,
and that one of every ten people, so a total
of two people every game would be detained and forced
to watch every game.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
No, No, you missing the point. That you're missing the point.
What you would have happen is have Dontrelle Willis may
be kidnapped by a drug cartel and then released several
months later in a prisoner swap.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, and then like you know, in the first inning,
he's not there, but in the seventh he's wondering, maybe
you'll come in for the save if they release him.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Would we still have to pay him if he got kidnapped?
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Oh see, I know how you people think, you people
in the front office.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
So yeah, the front office, that's all that. You're unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
I'm just saying that if we don't have to pay
a player if they're kidnapped, because when they're injured, you
have to pay him.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
But maybe kidnapped.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Interesting, does Metal Luck pay you for these takes? Not
nearly enough?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Clearly, yeah, exactly too much. Yeah, all right, let's go to.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Another story here that you know, seems up your rally
here NFL. You know, they're just they're pissing off people
with this Thursday night flex scheduling. Now, yeah, you heard
about this, you're talking about it the other day. You
had nothing interesting to say. So we're going to give
you a solution and listen to it. When you listen there,
you're going to be jealous. You know, you're a businessman.
Here's our solution. The game is on Amazon. What if
(13:07):
Amazon just used Prime if they you know, if they
flex the game? What if Amazon just used Prime to
ship all the sixty thousand fans to the city where
the game is.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
It's called brand integration.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, problem solved.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
He's mind blown, Tony Yep.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Would it be two days shipping or would it be
overnight shipping because that's a big difference in terms.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Of the hotel.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
You're slow on the uptake here.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Of course, it's prime. Next day. Prime is next day,
next day. Ologize to our sponsors at Amazon.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, Amazon, good people, next day, not two day. Where
I live, it's day.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I have a thought.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yeah, God, where I live, it's not next day, So
I absolutely will not co sign your take.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
However, a two day shipping. Here's what I.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Would suggest they do in the NFL for a Thursday
night flex. Oh, I think that they should take always
the two worst teams every week and put him on
the Thursday night Amazon game, because it will prove that
no matter who's playing, the same number of people are
gonna watch.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
All right, So let me try and follow your train
of thought if there is one. So you would just
have the Colts play the Titans every single week?
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Is that what you said?
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Well, the first the first week, everybody's tied for last,
so you can take anybody week one. But week two
it's got to be two Ozho to one teams. Week
three it's got to be two Oho and two teams.
You know, it's always the two worst tea.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
This guy ran the Marlins. Now it's all making sense.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, it was also why he got a show. He
got kicked off Survivor day one.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Also, I mean, if there's one thing you know, it's
how not to.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Get an audience.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
Let me tell you the reason I got kicked off
Survivor is that all my great ideas they went up
in smoke. Absolutely in smoke because of the way that
I was treated on that show, and it's very disappointing.
But the idea of playing bad teams and flexing every
week instead of just two out of the last five,
I think it's brilliant. I'm gonna maybe go with that.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
That would be the definition of show. That is forget
the fans. Who cares? I honestly, this is the Marlins.
This is the Florida Marlins, brand Tony, this is what
this messo.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
It is.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Forget the fans might as well have been their slogan. Yeah, man,
this is you're not doing yourself any favors, David. You know,
we're gonna give you another chance here. Maybe you'll say something.
Let's hold along here to them. I probably saw it
last week. Who has made national news? Or take on
Jahn Morant? You know we said we defended him. We said,
you know, he plays for Memphis. The team name is
(15:39):
the Grizzlies. If you're a bunch of Grizzlies running around
all over the mountains, wouldn't it be stupid not to
carry a gun?
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Don't you agree?
Speaker 5 (15:49):
I think that as I think about Jahn Morant, that
is the difference that everyone on the Grizzlies should carry
a gun, because then he would stick out at all.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
You go.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
There you go, Now you again, you're back on the
right track. There you go. That's what we're going to
push for.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
I'm going to push for that at the next league meeting,
that we should arm every player and then there's no
way to certain and we should hold all practices in
strip clubs.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Well see, there you go again. You had a good
point right in the palm of your hand and then
you threw it away. That's what I do. I'm famous
for that.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, he's having trouble, Tony. Maybe you gotta just put
this in terms you can understand.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's like, let's say you're in Florida, right, and you
got all those marlins swimming around. If your player goes
out boating, what did you want him to have a
fishing rod or a harpoon gun. There's nothing wrong with that, right,
I think that dynamite actually works better.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
No, you know, all right, but it's not the terrible solution.
They We'll give him a break down. One last question
for you, all right. You know you're when you ate
with the Marlins, you were big into salary management, right,
that's what you did. You know you were screwing players
over usual exactly. You're just trying to do it here
with Don True So your team was anyway. You know
(17:07):
people saying Patrick Mahomes should be paid more than Jalen Hurts, right,
saying that, But did you see this. Jalen Hurts actually
went and got his master's degree from the University of Oklahoma.
Now we all know that people with master's degrees should
be paid.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
More than people who don't have them.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Don't you agree that Jalen Hurts should be paid, you know,
at least twenty thirty percent more for that extra education.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
I think that lawyers actually should get thirty percent less,
and people who get a master should get twenty percent less,
but doctors should get twenty percent more. So I would propose,
actually that you pay players according to whether or not
they're doctors, because then they can fix themselves when they
get injured.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
That is the dumbest fucking take I've ever heard in
my whole life.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I've tried it. You know, we we had players.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
We didn't think any doctor can possibly fix you, Tony.
Before this, you know what, you know, before this reaches
a new low the show. Guess what, David Sampson, the
votes of vid and you've been voted off Fosco Island
because you're off the show.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
You're off the show. You're done. You're voted off the
show on prime ship. Build off to it, Irish, torch
no immunity.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Your house and burn it down, just like you torched
the whole Marlins franchise.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
See up?
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Is he off the line?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Jay? Hang up the phone.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
You know I can't believe that the Florida Marlins let
that guy run their organization for fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, actually I can believe it.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, you know, you're a good point, Tony. I kind
of do believe it to anyway. Yeah, you know, let's
not let him ruin, which was a terrific show for
right show of yues. We want to thank uh sponsor
is a good friends at Amazon.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Prime Amazon the way to go if it.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Isn't someone who's ass kicking.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, produce Jay, What do you want?
Speaker 7 (19:10):
What corrections?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
What hurry up?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Go you said?
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Brittany Grinder plays for the Phoenix Mercuries.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, bro wnba we never miss a game. Yeah, that's
the name. Yeah, bro, it's not Mercury's. It's just Mercury.
You don't add an S at the end of it.
It's singular.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Oh yeah, well you know what's at the end your
time on Earth.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, and I just checked your relationship status. Looks like
that's also singular.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Oh got it.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, let's go. Well we're done. No second, what hurry
up go? You guys?
Speaker 7 (19:47):
Said? The PGA champion was brooks Cepka.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Yeah, bro legend, he's awesome.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
It's not Kleepka, it's brooks Keopka.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Oh yeah, Well I'm going to Crapca down your throat.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and you know what's going to be a hole
in one. You're a grave dony, You're done. Let's get
out of here.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
No more, what last one?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
What hurry up?
Speaker 7 (20:15):
You said the word paradigam.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, bro, it's a wave of seeing things.
Speaker 7 (20:21):
Yeah, you clearly meant to say paradie. There's no such
word as parentigam. No.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
See what I meant to say, is you?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah? I hope you paradime a horrible death boom poor ly, Shit,
he's soaking poorly.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
He's seeing things from a new paradigam. Now sure enough
sad life? Oh wait, hold on, Tony, a better way
to close out this show? Just got this in next
guest on a next show, super Bowl Hero just booked,
Nick will be Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
That is huge news, huge news.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
And in the meantime, while we wait for that, remember
subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Dick doc.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
We're all episodes, we're just taking off.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Listen to them all again.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, and Tony, great job as always, same to you,
fully another flawless show.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
We'll see you people next week.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
See uh
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