June 30, 2023 • 39 mins
The desire to be unique and individual is one that we all feel, especially in our 20s as we begin to establish our 'adult' identity and make efforts to distinguish ourselves. In this weeks episode we discuss seven major tips and strategies for being the most interesting and unique person in any room - from embracing unconventional thinking, rejecting the herd mentality of trends and the desire to be the "it" girl, spending time in nature, and challenging yourself creatively, being different is no longer and bad thing. Listen now to learn the psychology behind how we can be completely unique.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
the podcast where we talk through some of the big
life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
(00:27):
Welcome back to the podcast, Near listeners, old listeners, wherever
you are in the world. Thanks for tuning in, Thanks
for joining me. What we're talking about today is something
that has been on my mind a lot recently. It's
really been kind of humming away, not so much bothering me,
just like something that I've been quite fascinated by. I
(00:50):
went to this concert the other day, and when I
was there, I saw like hundreds, if not thousands, of
people who literally could have been my clone. They were
dressed like me, they had the same favorite song as me,
they were living in the same city as me. I'm
sure some of them even had the same name. And
it really kind of got me questioning, are any of
(01:14):
us actually having an original experience? And am I actually unique?
Could you pick someone out of this crowd of like
minded people and kind of replace me? And I guess
with that, the question is who am I? If there
are like a million others that are like me, So
I thought, this is probably something we are all thinking about,
(01:34):
so let's talk about it. A big thing that we
face in our twenties is the need to establish our identity,
one that is unique from our family, from our friends,
from our peers, to not only feel that we kind
of stand out or we're different in some way, but
that what we have to offer is authentic and also
(01:57):
exclusive to us. I think established a sense of self,
concept and identity is a massive task that we face,
and a big part of that is questioning how can
we be unique? How can we be the only versions
of ourselves out there? You know, a rare breed, someone
that people look at and think, wow, I've never met
(02:20):
someone like that before. I think that's a big part
of the allure of individuality and authenticity. You know, nothing
is more attractive or compelling than someone who lives as
their truest and most vibrant self. And this seems impossible
at times on a planet of nine billion people, but
(02:40):
I would like for us to kind of really dive
into what actually makes all of us individual when not
just a copy and paste version of each other. Each
of us is this like wonderfully unique pattern of experiences
who see the world entirely differently, but at times we
(03:02):
also really struggle with this sense of like who am I?
How can I be completely unique? And I want to
talk about it and provide a bit of a psychological
guide into what makes us quote unquote special and my
seven kind of major tips and strategies and theories as
(03:23):
to how we can be completely unique. We're going to
explore some very wide ranging theories, from the theory of
identity development, self actualization, the origin of terms like basic,
how our society has really transformed in recent decades to
embrace uniqueness, and also things like the power of nature
(03:46):
in creating authenticity and self awareness, to ideas of social
conformity and how we can unlearn our need to follow
trends and to be kind of the cool girl or
the it girl. It's jam packed. I love thisscussing this
with my friends with random people I meet at parties.
The psychology behind this topic is also some of my
(04:07):
favorite The psychology behind identity and behind uniqueness is kind
of only recently, I think really begun to be explored
in depth. And I also think that it's really liberating
in our twenties to really embrace what makes us authentic
and individual and wonderful. It unlocks a whole new outlook
(04:29):
on life and a sense of self confidence that I
think we could all do with a lot more of. So,
without further ado, we're going to discuss how we can
be completely unique. So let's get into it. To be
unique is to be like no one else, to be
(04:52):
like no other, to be one of a kind, And
it derives from the Latin word unis, meaning one. I
think as human beings we often strive for uniqueness and individuality.
We naturally want to stand out. We want to express
our true selves and leave a lasting impression on the world.
(05:14):
I would say in Western cultures, especially because of this
strive for individuality versus collectivism, those of us who have
been raised in such societies, we really do take pride
and we have this innate desire to be somewhat in
the spotlight, and an element of that is being unique
(05:35):
enough to be recognized in comparison to the status quo.
The desire to be unique it stems from various psychological
and social factors such as self expression, social differentiation, which
is essentially how our society assigns the role and status
of various members based on sociocultural factors. I think as well,
(06:00):
there's this element or drive for personal fulfillment. When we
express ourselves in unique ways, when we explore our passions
and we pursue our interests, we do experience a deeper
sense of fulfillment. Uniqueness really allows us to feel like
we are having a unique experience of the world, and
(06:23):
it allows us to really foster our own personal sense
of self and growth and development. But additionally, I think
it allows us to feel like our life is meaningful
and that it is distinguishable from others. Especially in recent generations,
I do think that there has been this rising preoccupation
(06:44):
and desire to be unique and to be different, which
is somewhat of a change from what we would have
seen I would say one hundred even fifty years ago,
when individuals and entire groups were really ostracized for diverging
from that socially ingrain norm. It was really an era
of social conformity. Back in the nineteen forties and nineteen fifties.
(07:07):
There was a very inherent idea of what was normal
and acceptable, and that left a lot of people constrained
and limited in their individuality. When we think about a
lot of the major social movements of the last fifty
sixty years. A lot of them were about, of course,
primarily freedom from discrimination and equality, but as a secondary consequence,
(07:32):
the right to be different, and by fighting against that,
either for sexual liberation, for equal rights for women or
people of color. I think the world suddenly became accepting
of different stories and identities, and this social trend towards
nonconformity has created that desire to now be unique, and
(07:55):
as that has naturally evolved, now there is beauty and
and attractiveness to being different, and we see a lot
of people trying to establish their personal brand, as we
often call it on social media, their own aesthetic, their
own style and sense of self. At times, I would say,
even going to quite drastic lengths to be exceptional. You know,
(08:19):
different in this day and age, in this generation is
no longer a bad word. Our twenties are also, obviously,
I think, a critical time period in which we are
trying to establish a unique identity. This period, in particular,
spanning from around eighteen to twenty nine, it's been labeled
(08:40):
as emerging adulthood by psychologists, and it's characterized by exploration
by self discovery and the integration of various life roles
and values. So from a psychological perspective, this process involves
navigating what Eric Erickson called identity versus role confusion, and
(09:00):
also intimacy versus isolation. And in this stage of life,
we strive to establish a very clear sense of who
we are, what we stand for, but also how we
can distinguish ourselves from others and begin to engage in
commitments and responsibilities that are independent from our family unit,
(09:23):
that are very much our own. And I think between
our teen years and our twenties we also experience this
very big shift from being in high school and wanting
to fit in and wanting to conform and be exactly
like our friends, to our twenties when there is a
lot more celebration and acceptance of what makes us different.
(09:45):
And sometimes in that process we have to try on
different identities to see which one fits. That's part of
the self exploration process. If you never go through that,
you end up being quite dissatisfied because you don't have
a true sense of self. And often those identities that
we try on they are archetypes or even stereotypes of
(10:07):
the types of individuals that we admire the types of
people that we have seen around us that have been
most socially influential. So, for example, this is such a throwback.
But I remember in my late teens, I really fell
in with quite a religious group, and that was my
identity for a year or so, and then I tried
out being a bit of a party animal. Then I
(10:29):
was a creative, a painter or an artist. Then I
was someone who was very academic, and I wanted to
be a lecturer or a politician. Every shade of person
I wanted to see if it fit. And I'm not
ashamed of those chapters. This person I am now is
also probably going to change one hundred times over before
the end of my time. It's a very constantly changing thing.
(10:53):
But I think what's important to understand is that uniqueness
and with that authenticity, comes from a strong sense of
self and a strong sense of identity, which we tend
to believe is a lot more stable compared to what's
trending or the people that we're around and the people
that we're exposed to. And before we think about uniqueness,
(11:14):
we obviously have to examine identity, and we need to
think about identity as a series of buckets that we
each fill with different items, and each of these items
will exist on a spectrum. So these buckets, they include
things like personal history and life experiences. This is the
(11:35):
one that's most stable. It's the hardest to change, although
I would say our interpretation of our life experiences may
be altered. Then we have things such as our values
and our beliefs such as creativity and honesty and generosity.
Our social identity, so thinking about gender, ethnicity, nationality, what
(11:57):
religion you follow, even our occupation. We have our interpersonal
relationships as the fourth bucket, so that includes your family,
your partner, your friends. Then personal goals and aspirations, traits
and abilities, interests and hobbies, and finally accessories, which I
(12:17):
kind of like to caol extras. They are the ways
we present or express the other core components of our identity.
Things that are quite external. So I would say things
like physical appearance, how we dress, what kind of music
we like, our favorite season, Just those small added bonuses
(12:38):
of things that kind of sprinkle in with the big
buckets to make us a fully formed, fully rounded out person.
That's a lot of buckets, but no one is going
to have these same composition as you. Maybe some of
those surface level social identity things will be the same, gender, occupation,
(12:59):
even things like goals and ambitions and accessories. But there
are millions, if not trillions, of different combinations, and each
of these elements creates our identity. That combination is what
makes us unique and what makes us individual, and that
is essentially the foundation of what we're talking about today. So,
(13:21):
now that we kind of have our basics downpat we've
explored a little bit about the history around this trend
towards individuality and the value of being unique, how do
we apply this understanding. I want to give you seven
tips on how you can cultivate your uniqueness and establish
your identity in a way that is natural and true
(13:44):
to who you are. So the first three are about
the current versions of you, and the final four are
about how to expand that version of you into new terrain. Firstly,
if you want to be completely unique, you need to
understand the core elements of your identity, Otherwise you're really
not going to get anywhere. I think that any version
(14:06):
of you that is not rooted in something organic is
essentially a facade that you won't be able to sustain
and further to that it won't leave you feeling particularly fulfilled.
It's very easy, I think, to see versions of people
that we want to be on social media and essentially
try and press copy and paste. But the thing is
(14:28):
that person already exists. And let's go back to the
definition of being unique, which is to be one, not
to be two. We each have an inherent mental image
of who we are, and sometimes we need to have
a very nice, long look when we feel ourselves slipping
into someone else's shoes. We really need to get back
(14:50):
to that core kind of internal mirror. So there are
a number of questions that we can actually use to
recenter ourselves, and I think they reveal a lot about
our true priorities and what actually makes us different. So
four questions, and I want you to answer them truthfully.
If someone was to describe you, what five words do
(15:14):
you think they'd use, and what five words would you use?
Would they be different? So that's one question. The second question,
what part of me am I most afraid to reveal?
And why? How am I like my parents? How am
I different? What would I do if I knew I
(15:35):
would not be judged? That last question always gets so
many good responses because I think it frees us from
a very big core insecurity, which is the opinions of others.
I truly believe that that is the biggest factor that
stifles our authenticity and our individuality, because when we constantly
(15:56):
are seeking others approval, we are shifting our behavior and
our expression to be something that is palatable for them.
And I think connection and relationships are a valuable part
of our wellbeing, but not when they really sever our
connection with what makes us unique. So what are you
doing for others? Why are you changing yourself for others?
(16:19):
What part of your existence would no longer be relevant
if you weren't seeking the opinions of those around you.
I think it's really important to sit on that question
for a little while and answer it truthfully. And it
really leads into my second tip, which is to avoid
anything or anyone that shames you for your individuality, and
(16:44):
in some ways also my third tip, which is to
hold yourself accountable when you are changing for others or
adopting a persona Obviously, in life, there are always going
to be people who are cruel, and there are going
to be people who are rude, and that's just part
of our existence as social creatures. But the easiest way
(17:05):
to combat these individuals is to stand your ground. When
we change for someone else, we are only doing ourselves
a disservice. We kind of let them win. There's this
theory known as symbolic interactionism, and it essentially it explains
why we feel this response and want to change for others.
It says that we develop our sense of identity and
(17:27):
our sense of self through interactions. Our identities are formed
and maintained through the social interactions we have with others.
They're very much relational and the meaning that we attribute
to symbols, language, and social roles. But these same interactions
can impact how we express ourselves. Because of that theory,
(17:51):
we have a tendency to change how we act and
our interpretation of the world based on those around us.
And we can create these personas, which are essentially a
fictionalized character, and for each persona we adopt, we become
further and further removed from our true self. At work,
(18:13):
you're one person, and when you hang out with your family,
you're another. And when you're around a group of people
you want to impress, you create another persona, and that
persona is different from the one you have with your
best friend, and which version of you is the real one,
because when you are living based on how you think
(18:34):
others see you and their approval, that disconnect with what
makes you unique is going to be even greater. Those
are my first three tips. They're really around maintaining your
current sense of self and aligning your current behaviors with
that version of you. But I do think that there
are other things that we can do to kind of
(18:55):
expand our identity and to expand how we see ourselves
and how the world sees us as well. So these
next four tips are going to be around how we
can always cultivate a better version of ourselves that is unique,
that is individual, that is authentic. So my fourth tip
for being completely unique is to challenge your socially ingrained
(19:18):
beliefs and break out of your epistemic bubble. So this
idea of an epistemic bubble, it's essentially the theory that
we have all been implicitly taught a certain way of
thinking and a certain set of beliefs about the world,
and that can be incredibly narrow and sometimes causes us
to exclude differing opinions. You become an echo chamber of
(19:44):
those around you, particularly those who have a significant social influence,
such as your parents and your partners, and your friends
and people that you admire, And your opinions are not
your own, they are from those around you. I think
there is nothing less unique. And then someone who just
parrots back what they've been taught. Obviously, I think it's
(20:06):
really hard to break away from that thinking when we
think about social pressure and social conformity. But if you
are listening to this and you are seriously considering what
actually makes me individual, I would say a great way
to figure that out is to embrace unconventional thinking, to
question your thoughts on things like religion, on beauty, on
(20:30):
the meaning of life, on what comes afterwards, what do
you think about happiness, what's your perspective on success? On popularity,
on politics. Uniqueness comes from creating a tapestry of experiences
and beliefs and thoughts that are different. And our twenties
are the best time to really actually question these things,
(20:53):
because the older we get, we all know, the harder
it is to accept new ways of thinking, and we
can become i would say, quite stagnant, and our perspectives
because of factors like neuroplasticity and even our environmental exposure
to new ideas, it all becomes a lot more limited.
(21:15):
So to be unique, expose yourself to new ideas. I
want you to listen to new podcasts like this one,
and read new books and articles, and follow different people
on social media who create content that is different from
what we are normally exposed to. It's really interesting. I
follow so many like spirituality accounts, even though I would
(21:40):
say I'm quite a scientific person, because I think it's
firstly super interesting, but it also allows my own beliefs
to be more nuanced and adaptive, and it allows me
to be able to contribute to different conversations. On the
point of social media, yeah, I would also say unfollow
(22:03):
anyone who makes you feel like you need to conform
or follow trends, particularly as they relate to self expression.
I would say that trends are not inherently bad or negative,
but they do create what we would call a herd
mentality and a sense of tribalism or homogeneous way of living.
(22:24):
It's I think, a really beautiful thing to take inspiration
from others, but I like to think about it in
terms of fashion as the easiest kind of explanation. An example,
there is always going to be a trending bag, or
a trending dress, or a trending pair of shoes that
we feel like we need to own. There is always
(22:45):
an ego that people are trying to emulate, and this
can be attributed to the idea of social conformity, but
also the existence of in groups and of course the
power of consumerism. We want to be part of the
in group and we want to be socially accepted because
our membership to these groups makes us feel better. So,
(23:07):
for example, buying a two thousand dollars bag or some
infamous czar address is a way. It's almost like a
token that allows us to be part of what is
seen as admirable or attractive or stylish, and so we
use those items as a way to signify to others
(23:30):
I belong. But that doesn't allow for social expression or
self expression. Because a crucial element of any in group
is conformity to the group norm. It can be very
easy to observe someone else and decide to be just
like them because it provides us with a mental shortcut
for social acceptance. If we already know that this person
(23:55):
is liked by others as popular and seen as fashionable
and deserve of praise. By copying aspects of their image,
we are looking to gain the same level of social approval.
But I do really believe that trends they create social hierarchies,
and they are based a lot on materialistic possessions rather
(24:20):
than what actually makes us authentic and individual. And I
think they also blatantly go against that very definition of uniqueness,
which is to be one, to be one of a kind.
So I would say, really try and detach from that
kind of fast media and capitalist and consumerius markets of
(24:41):
trend making that is inherently going to ask you to
be a person that you're not. Also, when you make
decisions about what you're wearing and those kind of accessories
we talked about of your identity, ask yourself, Am I
wearing this because this makes me feel comfortable? Am I
dressing this way because I actually like this style? Is
(25:05):
this actually what I would wear? Or is it what
I think others want to see me in? Is it
because I want someone to see me walking down the
street and think that I am fashionable or trendy? And
I think that's a really easy way to kind of
blossom in and kind of move into a space in
(25:25):
which you're making decisions for your inner self and for
the authentic person at your core. I have two more
tips for you, perhaps my favorite, that we are going
to explore after this short break. Stick around Alrightye, so
(25:48):
we have two more tips that I want to share.
Tip six is quite possibly my favorite, and it's not
one that I think we would typically think about, and
that is to spend time in nature. I cannot stress
this highly enough. It might seem like a strange addition,
(26:10):
but I read this paper. It's called The Significance of
Being Unique, and the author talks about how living close
to nature is essential for cultivating identity and to also
exercise our intelligence and to be individual. And I not
only find that very true from personal experience, but I
(26:33):
think that is a really beautiful summary and explanation as
to how nature really cultivates our identity for us. There
was this incredible study. It was conducted in twenty seventeen,
and it essentially showed what I think that we have
known for a long time, which is that exposure to
nature restores a lot of our cognitive capacities and it
(26:57):
is a very important aspect of mainaining our identity and
sense of self. So we're going to do a whole
episode on the healing power of nature because ecopsychology is
possibly my new favorite thing. But when we spend time
in outdoor environments, what it does is it essentially provides
us with different stimuli and experiences that help to rewire
(27:21):
our brain. It provides time for contemplation, and it exposes
us to things that bring us interesting stories and learning
experiences and aspects and beautiful things that we bring back
to ourselves and that allow us to express ourselves differently
and be unique. It's definitely not spoken about enough, but
(27:44):
just I think, watch the change that even ninety minutes
of outdoors time a week will have on your mindset,
on the originality of your thoughts, on your self confidence,
and creativity. I think additionally, it's very easy to spa
and time inside and to do the most convenient thing,
(28:04):
But every new thing that you do, every new challenge,
every unique experience, it really creates a version of you
that is more true and more authentic. Also, it's just
that aspect of doing things that are different, right, most
people don't prioritize spending time in nature and I guess
part of being unique is finding the right identity that
(28:26):
suits you based on your interest and based on kind
of your inner calling. So being prepared to try new
things such as go outdoors, such as you know, just
see the world around you is a great way to
kind of distinguish yourself as well. My final tip for
being completely unique is to engage in something creative creativity
(28:50):
in whatever form you choose. Whether that's doodling or making
up songs, or writing or knitting, or painting or ceramics,
it really doesn't matter. These activities reveal hidden parts of ourselves.
When we engage in a creative activity, we enter what
psychologists call a flow state, which is essentially a place
(29:12):
of deep fulfillment and peace where a lot of our
internal inhibitions are relaxed and we are going to give
our selves permission to access the parts of ourselves that
we have been told to suppress. You don't even need
to be good at it. You can be terrible at
whatever you're doing. But what this theory and this understanding
is going to tell you is that just engaging in
(29:35):
something that is new and fresh and novel and activates
different parts of your brain is going to allow you
to view information in novel ways and to be playful,
and to engage in self discovery and reveal new facets
of your identity, not just to other people, but to yourself.
I think people who have hobbies as well, and who
(29:58):
do something other than work, I can look at their phones,
they are just generally more interesting. It is the easiest
thing in the world to do what is convenient, to
get that lingering in an addictive dopamine hit from social
media and technology, to doom scroll for hours and hours,
(30:19):
and you know, part of it is because these activities
are deliberately made to be addictive. But I think that's
not going to make you an especially unique or fun
person because most people are doing the same. Most people
are really living for their phones and living for technology
(30:41):
rather than living for the things that I think really
bring a lot of flavor and color to our lives.
I want you to find even just that one thing
that you do in your free time that gets you
out of your mind and into your imagination and allows
you to build these new elements of your identity that
(31:01):
are unlike anyone else's, but also to find time to
actually reflect and sit with what's actually going on in
your life. I think self awareness and being unique come
very much hand in hand. So those are my major tips.
But I think regardless of what you think of those,
(31:22):
maybe you're still struggling with what makes you a unique person.
So I just want to quickly take a second, and
I guess it just provides you with some reminders around
why we really are different and special and purposeful. Here
are just some basic things that I found that no
one else in the world has. That you do your fingerprints,
(31:43):
first of all self explanatory, but not even identical twins
have the same fingerprints. Isn't that so beautiful that each
of us has such a unique cell composition that our
body and the patterns on our skin are never going
to be recreated. There's one thing also, Your ears super random.
But since like the nineteen fifties, forensic scientists and psychologists
(32:07):
they have been using the measurements of someone's ears to
match the prints left behind at crime scenes with almost
one hundred percent accuracy. So that is another way that
you are not like anyone else. Your body odor as well,
each of us has like a different scent, which I
think is amazing. It's also why sometimes you're really attracted
(32:31):
to the smell of someone else, and they're pheromones. Everyone's
smell is made up of a combination of like forty
four different compounds. So there you go. There's one way
that you're special. You have your own unique perfume, almost
your unique scars and your moles, even the freckles on
your body and the pores on your nose. They are
(32:54):
like constellations. They're nothing else. There is nothing else in
the universe. I like it, and you'll laugh. I think
that is one of the things that we love the
most about others, is how they laugh, how they express joy.
And it's interesting to know that that is unique to
each of us. It's like our own signature sound, and
(33:14):
of course our thoughts. No matter how much you and
another person agree, no matter how much you are similar,
your individual thoughts will never be replicated. You are like
a walking miracle. There is nothing that will ever exist
quite like you, or has ever existed quite like you.
(33:36):
And I think that is a really beautiful reminder when
we're struggling with where we actually sit in the world.
I think naturally we hate being seen as basic or
as run of the mill. I absolutely hate the use
of the term basic. I think it's always just used
to kind of negate shared interests or general similarities that
you share with others. I also think it's just another
(33:59):
word used to put down people, especially women, for the
aspects of their identity that they value, to imply that
they don't contain multitudes, that they are not individual, and
that they are not someone with unique thoughts and feelings
and worries and in a unique identity. I really hate
that term. I think it's often referred to when we
(34:21):
are like fans of certain like pop culture icons or
certain like fashion brands or TV shows or music. There's
a reason that those things are popular. It's because they
are good, and you do not need to try and
distinguish yourself by pretending to hate those things. I think
people who refer to like certain bands or certain anything
(34:44):
really as basic or really just projecting an insecurity that
they themselves are not fierce and strong enough in their
own identity to feel like they don't need to tear
others down. So there you go. I think that a
reason it can be so powerful and the reason we
use that term is it because it really does tap
into this very human insecurity we want to think that
(35:09):
we are different, because otherwise our existence is somewhat irrelevant.
If someone could take our place in our relationships, if
someone could do our job, if someone could have the
thoughts that we're having create what we're creating, well, that's
quite depressing because it essentially makes our influence and place
(35:30):
in the world quite inconsequential. It's one of the big
pillars of existential dread or even an existential crisis. In psychology,
this refers to that feeling that life is inherently pointless
and that we have no reason for being here. Nothing
we do has meaning, Nothing about our lives is special.
(35:50):
I think that's a really hard thought to counteract. But
by applying those strategies, we can feel more at peace
with what we have to offer. That we are individual,
that we know ourselves, and when we tap into our creativity,
when we question our surroundings and our beliefs, When we
(36:11):
truly examine what we want and who we are, and
we allow ourselves to express who we are authentically beyond trends,
we really bring a sense of meaning to our lives.
You do not feel like just another person walking down
the street. You do not feel like a bit of
a drone. You are yourself, you know, I always think
(36:32):
like I am Gemma, and isn't that beautiful? Like there
is no one else like me. Everyone walking down the
street is like this incredible tapestry of every experience and
everything that's happened, and their lives and their thoughts and
their narrative will never be recreated. Remember, being completely unique,
it's not about trying to be something that you're not.
(36:52):
It's about embracing who you are, your authentic self, and
expressing it in a way that sets you apart. And
that journey towards being unique is a lifelong process, and
I don't think it's one that we can do lightly.
It's one that requires constant self reflection and growth and adaptation.
(37:13):
But by really taking the time to distinguish ourselves from others,
to live our lives as if we are the only
version of ourselves of which we are, we kind of
find a new meaning in a new purpose and we
feel like who we are on this planet actually matters.
So I hope that you have enjoyed this. I hope
that you feel completely unique. I hope that you are
(37:35):
able to apply these strategies and these tips to feel
more confident. I think that's like the general outcome that
I want from today's episode. It's really been something that
I've been trying to apply to my own life, but
also trying to counteract this like weird fear of being
deemed or seen as basic or like everyone else. It's
such I think, a conundrum with social media in which
(37:59):
we're able to really see a thousand different reflections of
ourselves and the people who look like us. But also
this like striving for individuality and to have a brand
and to have a style and to be unlike anyone else,
and fame and success or are just all these themes
that are really hard to escape. But in our twenties,
we do have this opportunity to be able to figure
(38:21):
out who we are. So I would say, don't take
the task too lightly. It's an important thing to do.
And if you did enjoy this episode, please, if you
feel cool to do so, leave a five star review
wherever you are listening right now. I see all the
love I read them more. It is really like it's
such a joyful experience, So thank you for those who
(38:45):
have left a review. I see it and I very
much appreciate it. Also, if you have an episode suggestion,
or you want to be part of the community and
see what we're up to. Please follow along at that
Psychology podcast on Instagram. There's so much over there. You
can also see some filmed slash video versions of the podcast.
(39:09):
If it would be great to have you be part
of the community. And finally, if there was someone in
your life who needs to hear this episode who has
been struggling with their sense of uniqueness with any of
the things we spoke about today, please feel free to
share it along, share the love. It would be great
to have them listening along. We will be back next
(39:30):
week as always with another episode.
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
the podcast where we talk through some of the big
life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
(00:27):
Welcome back to the podcast, Near listeners, old listeners, wherever
you are in the world. Thanks for tuning in, Thanks
for joining me. What we're talking about today is something
that has been on my mind a lot recently. It's
really been kind of humming away, not so much bothering me,
just like something that I've been quite fascinated by. I
(00:50):
went to this concert the other day, and when I
was there, I saw like hundreds, if not thousands, of
people who literally could have been my clone. They were
dressed like me, they had the same favorite song as me,
they were living in the same city as me. I'm
sure some of them even had the same name. And
it really kind of got me questioning, are any of
(01:14):
us actually having an original experience? And am I actually unique?
Could you pick someone out of this crowd of like
minded people and kind of replace me? And I guess
with that, the question is who am I? If there
are like a million others that are like me, So
I thought, this is probably something we are all thinking about,
(01:34):
so let's talk about it. A big thing that we
face in our twenties is the need to establish our identity,
one that is unique from our family, from our friends,
from our peers, to not only feel that we kind
of stand out or we're different in some way, but
that what we have to offer is authentic and also
(01:57):
exclusive to us. I think established a sense of self,
concept and identity is a massive task that we face,
and a big part of that is questioning how can
we be unique? How can we be the only versions
of ourselves out there? You know, a rare breed, someone
that people look at and think, wow, I've never met
(02:20):
someone like that before. I think that's a big part
of the allure of individuality and authenticity. You know, nothing
is more attractive or compelling than someone who lives as
their truest and most vibrant self. And this seems impossible
at times on a planet of nine billion people, but
(02:40):
I would like for us to kind of really dive
into what actually makes all of us individual when not
just a copy and paste version of each other. Each
of us is this like wonderfully unique pattern of experiences
who see the world entirely differently, but at times we
(03:02):
also really struggle with this sense of like who am I?
How can I be completely unique? And I want to
talk about it and provide a bit of a psychological
guide into what makes us quote unquote special and my
seven kind of major tips and strategies and theories as
(03:23):
to how we can be completely unique. We're going to
explore some very wide ranging theories, from the theory of
identity development, self actualization, the origin of terms like basic,
how our society has really transformed in recent decades to
embrace uniqueness, and also things like the power of nature
(03:46):
in creating authenticity and self awareness, to ideas of social
conformity and how we can unlearn our need to follow
trends and to be kind of the cool girl or
the it girl. It's jam packed. I love thisscussing this
with my friends with random people I meet at parties.
The psychology behind this topic is also some of my
(04:07):
favorite The psychology behind identity and behind uniqueness is kind
of only recently, I think really begun to be explored
in depth. And I also think that it's really liberating
in our twenties to really embrace what makes us authentic
and individual and wonderful. It unlocks a whole new outlook
(04:29):
on life and a sense of self confidence that I
think we could all do with a lot more of. So,
without further ado, we're going to discuss how we can
be completely unique. So let's get into it. To be
unique is to be like no one else, to be
(04:52):
like no other, to be one of a kind, And
it derives from the Latin word unis, meaning one. I
think as human beings we often strive for uniqueness and individuality.
We naturally want to stand out. We want to express
our true selves and leave a lasting impression on the world.
(05:14):
I would say in Western cultures, especially because of this
strive for individuality versus collectivism, those of us who have
been raised in such societies, we really do take pride
and we have this innate desire to be somewhat in
the spotlight, and an element of that is being unique
(05:35):
enough to be recognized in comparison to the status quo.
The desire to be unique it stems from various psychological
and social factors such as self expression, social differentiation, which
is essentially how our society assigns the role and status
of various members based on sociocultural factors. I think as well,
(06:00):
there's this element or drive for personal fulfillment. When we
express ourselves in unique ways, when we explore our passions
and we pursue our interests, we do experience a deeper
sense of fulfillment. Uniqueness really allows us to feel like
we are having a unique experience of the world, and
(06:23):
it allows us to really foster our own personal sense
of self and growth and development. But additionally, I think
it allows us to feel like our life is meaningful
and that it is distinguishable from others. Especially in recent generations,
I do think that there has been this rising preoccupation
(06:44):
and desire to be unique and to be different, which
is somewhat of a change from what we would have
seen I would say one hundred even fifty years ago,
when individuals and entire groups were really ostracized for diverging
from that socially ingrain norm. It was really an era
of social conformity. Back in the nineteen forties and nineteen fifties.
(07:07):
There was a very inherent idea of what was normal
and acceptable, and that left a lot of people constrained
and limited in their individuality. When we think about a
lot of the major social movements of the last fifty
sixty years. A lot of them were about, of course,
primarily freedom from discrimination and equality, but as a secondary consequence,
(07:32):
the right to be different, and by fighting against that,
either for sexual liberation, for equal rights for women or
people of color. I think the world suddenly became accepting
of different stories and identities, and this social trend towards
nonconformity has created that desire to now be unique, and
(07:55):
as that has naturally evolved, now there is beauty and
and attractiveness to being different, and we see a lot
of people trying to establish their personal brand, as we
often call it on social media, their own aesthetic, their
own style and sense of self. At times, I would say,
even going to quite drastic lengths to be exceptional. You know,
(08:19):
different in this day and age, in this generation is
no longer a bad word. Our twenties are also, obviously,
I think, a critical time period in which we are
trying to establish a unique identity. This period, in particular,
spanning from around eighteen to twenty nine, it's been labeled
(08:40):
as emerging adulthood by psychologists, and it's characterized by exploration
by self discovery and the integration of various life roles
and values. So from a psychological perspective, this process involves
navigating what Eric Erickson called identity versus role confusion, and
(09:00):
also intimacy versus isolation. And in this stage of life,
we strive to establish a very clear sense of who
we are, what we stand for, but also how we
can distinguish ourselves from others and begin to engage in
commitments and responsibilities that are independent from our family unit,
(09:23):
that are very much our own. And I think between
our teen years and our twenties we also experience this
very big shift from being in high school and wanting
to fit in and wanting to conform and be exactly
like our friends, to our twenties when there is a
lot more celebration and acceptance of what makes us different.
(09:45):
And sometimes in that process we have to try on
different identities to see which one fits. That's part of
the self exploration process. If you never go through that,
you end up being quite dissatisfied because you don't have
a true sense of self. And often those identities that
we try on they are archetypes or even stereotypes of
(10:07):
the types of individuals that we admire the types of
people that we have seen around us that have been
most socially influential. So, for example, this is such a throwback.
But I remember in my late teens, I really fell
in with quite a religious group, and that was my
identity for a year or so, and then I tried
out being a bit of a party animal. Then I
(10:29):
was a creative, a painter or an artist. Then I
was someone who was very academic, and I wanted to
be a lecturer or a politician. Every shade of person
I wanted to see if it fit. And I'm not
ashamed of those chapters. This person I am now is
also probably going to change one hundred times over before
the end of my time. It's a very constantly changing thing.
(10:53):
But I think what's important to understand is that uniqueness
and with that authenticity, comes from a strong sense of
self and a strong sense of identity, which we tend
to believe is a lot more stable compared to what's
trending or the people that we're around and the people
that we're exposed to. And before we think about uniqueness,
(11:14):
we obviously have to examine identity, and we need to
think about identity as a series of buckets that we
each fill with different items, and each of these items
will exist on a spectrum. So these buckets, they include
things like personal history and life experiences. This is the
(11:35):
one that's most stable. It's the hardest to change, although
I would say our interpretation of our life experiences may
be altered. Then we have things such as our values
and our beliefs such as creativity and honesty and generosity.
Our social identity, so thinking about gender, ethnicity, nationality, what
(11:57):
religion you follow, even our occupation. We have our interpersonal
relationships as the fourth bucket, so that includes your family,
your partner, your friends. Then personal goals and aspirations, traits
and abilities, interests and hobbies, and finally accessories, which I
(12:17):
kind of like to caol extras. They are the ways
we present or express the other core components of our identity.
Things that are quite external. So I would say things
like physical appearance, how we dress, what kind of music
we like, our favorite season, Just those small added bonuses
(12:38):
of things that kind of sprinkle in with the big
buckets to make us a fully formed, fully rounded out person.
That's a lot of buckets, but no one is going
to have these same composition as you. Maybe some of
those surface level social identity things will be the same, gender, occupation,
(12:59):
even things like goals and ambitions and accessories. But there
are millions, if not trillions, of different combinations, and each
of these elements creates our identity. That combination is what
makes us unique and what makes us individual, and that
is essentially the foundation of what we're talking about today. So,
(13:21):
now that we kind of have our basics downpat we've
explored a little bit about the history around this trend
towards individuality and the value of being unique, how do
we apply this understanding. I want to give you seven
tips on how you can cultivate your uniqueness and establish
your identity in a way that is natural and true
(13:44):
to who you are. So the first three are about
the current versions of you, and the final four are
about how to expand that version of you into new terrain. Firstly,
if you want to be completely unique, you need to
understand the core elements of your identity, Otherwise you're really
not going to get anywhere. I think that any version
(14:06):
of you that is not rooted in something organic is
essentially a facade that you won't be able to sustain
and further to that it won't leave you feeling particularly fulfilled.
It's very easy, I think, to see versions of people
that we want to be on social media and essentially
try and press copy and paste. But the thing is
(14:28):
that person already exists. And let's go back to the
definition of being unique, which is to be one, not
to be two. We each have an inherent mental image
of who we are, and sometimes we need to have
a very nice, long look when we feel ourselves slipping
into someone else's shoes. We really need to get back
(14:50):
to that core kind of internal mirror. So there are
a number of questions that we can actually use to
recenter ourselves, and I think they reveal a lot about
our true priorities and what actually makes us different. So
four questions, and I want you to answer them truthfully.
If someone was to describe you, what five words do
(15:14):
you think they'd use, and what five words would you use?
Would they be different? So that's one question. The second question,
what part of me am I most afraid to reveal?
And why? How am I like my parents? How am
I different? What would I do if I knew I
(15:35):
would not be judged? That last question always gets so
many good responses because I think it frees us from
a very big core insecurity, which is the opinions of others.
I truly believe that that is the biggest factor that
stifles our authenticity and our individuality, because when we constantly
(15:56):
are seeking others approval, we are shifting our behavior and
our expression to be something that is palatable for them.
And I think connection and relationships are a valuable part
of our wellbeing, but not when they really sever our
connection with what makes us unique. So what are you
doing for others? Why are you changing yourself for others?
(16:19):
What part of your existence would no longer be relevant
if you weren't seeking the opinions of those around you.
I think it's really important to sit on that question
for a little while and answer it truthfully. And it
really leads into my second tip, which is to avoid
anything or anyone that shames you for your individuality, and
(16:44):
in some ways also my third tip, which is to
hold yourself accountable when you are changing for others or
adopting a persona Obviously, in life, there are always going
to be people who are cruel, and there are going
to be people who are rude, and that's just part
of our existence as social creatures. But the easiest way
(17:05):
to combat these individuals is to stand your ground. When
we change for someone else, we are only doing ourselves
a disservice. We kind of let them win. There's this
theory known as symbolic interactionism, and it essentially it explains
why we feel this response and want to change for others.
It says that we develop our sense of identity and
(17:27):
our sense of self through interactions. Our identities are formed
and maintained through the social interactions we have with others.
They're very much relational and the meaning that we attribute
to symbols, language, and social roles. But these same interactions
can impact how we express ourselves. Because of that theory,
(17:51):
we have a tendency to change how we act and
our interpretation of the world based on those around us.
And we can create these personas, which are essentially a
fictionalized character, and for each persona we adopt, we become
further and further removed from our true self. At work,
(18:13):
you're one person, and when you hang out with your family,
you're another. And when you're around a group of people
you want to impress, you create another persona, and that
persona is different from the one you have with your
best friend, and which version of you is the real one,
because when you are living based on how you think
(18:34):
others see you and their approval, that disconnect with what
makes you unique is going to be even greater. Those
are my first three tips. They're really around maintaining your
current sense of self and aligning your current behaviors with
that version of you. But I do think that there
are other things that we can do to kind of
(18:55):
expand our identity and to expand how we see ourselves
and how the world sees us as well. So these
next four tips are going to be around how we
can always cultivate a better version of ourselves that is unique,
that is individual, that is authentic. So my fourth tip
for being completely unique is to challenge your socially ingrained
(19:18):
beliefs and break out of your epistemic bubble. So this
idea of an epistemic bubble, it's essentially the theory that
we have all been implicitly taught a certain way of
thinking and a certain set of beliefs about the world,
and that can be incredibly narrow and sometimes causes us
to exclude differing opinions. You become an echo chamber of
(19:44):
those around you, particularly those who have a significant social influence,
such as your parents and your partners, and your friends
and people that you admire, And your opinions are not
your own, they are from those around you. I think
there is nothing less unique. And then someone who just
parrots back what they've been taught. Obviously, I think it's
(20:06):
really hard to break away from that thinking when we
think about social pressure and social conformity. But if you
are listening to this and you are seriously considering what
actually makes me individual, I would say a great way
to figure that out is to embrace unconventional thinking, to
question your thoughts on things like religion, on beauty, on
(20:30):
the meaning of life, on what comes afterwards, what do
you think about happiness, what's your perspective on success? On popularity,
on politics. Uniqueness comes from creating a tapestry of experiences
and beliefs and thoughts that are different. And our twenties
are the best time to really actually question these things,
(20:53):
because the older we get, we all know, the harder
it is to accept new ways of thinking, and we
can become i would say, quite stagnant, and our perspectives
because of factors like neuroplasticity and even our environmental exposure
to new ideas, it all becomes a lot more limited.
(21:15):
So to be unique, expose yourself to new ideas. I
want you to listen to new podcasts like this one,
and read new books and articles, and follow different people
on social media who create content that is different from
what we are normally exposed to. It's really interesting. I
follow so many like spirituality accounts, even though I would
(21:40):
say I'm quite a scientific person, because I think it's
firstly super interesting, but it also allows my own beliefs
to be more nuanced and adaptive, and it allows me
to be able to contribute to different conversations. On the
point of social media, yeah, I would also say unfollow
(22:03):
anyone who makes you feel like you need to conform
or follow trends, particularly as they relate to self expression.
I would say that trends are not inherently bad or negative,
but they do create what we would call a herd
mentality and a sense of tribalism or homogeneous way of living.
(22:24):
It's I think, a really beautiful thing to take inspiration
from others, but I like to think about it in
terms of fashion as the easiest kind of explanation. An example,
there is always going to be a trending bag, or
a trending dress, or a trending pair of shoes that
we feel like we need to own. There is always
(22:45):
an ego that people are trying to emulate, and this
can be attributed to the idea of social conformity, but
also the existence of in groups and of course the
power of consumerism. We want to be part of the
in group and we want to be socially accepted because
our membership to these groups makes us feel better. So,
(23:07):
for example, buying a two thousand dollars bag or some
infamous czar address is a way. It's almost like a
token that allows us to be part of what is
seen as admirable or attractive or stylish, and so we
use those items as a way to signify to others
(23:30):
I belong. But that doesn't allow for social expression or
self expression. Because a crucial element of any in group
is conformity to the group norm. It can be very
easy to observe someone else and decide to be just
like them because it provides us with a mental shortcut
for social acceptance. If we already know that this person
(23:55):
is liked by others as popular and seen as fashionable
and deserve of praise. By copying aspects of their image,
we are looking to gain the same level of social approval.
But I do really believe that trends they create social hierarchies,
and they are based a lot on materialistic possessions rather
(24:20):
than what actually makes us authentic and individual. And I
think they also blatantly go against that very definition of uniqueness,
which is to be one, to be one of a kind.
So I would say, really try and detach from that
kind of fast media and capitalist and consumerius markets of
(24:41):
trend making that is inherently going to ask you to
be a person that you're not. Also, when you make
decisions about what you're wearing and those kind of accessories
we talked about of your identity, ask yourself, Am I
wearing this because this makes me feel comfortable? Am I
dressing this way because I actually like this style? Is
(25:05):
this actually what I would wear? Or is it what
I think others want to see me in? Is it
because I want someone to see me walking down the
street and think that I am fashionable or trendy? And
I think that's a really easy way to kind of
blossom in and kind of move into a space in
(25:25):
which you're making decisions for your inner self and for
the authentic person at your core. I have two more
tips for you, perhaps my favorite, that we are going
to explore after this short break. Stick around Alrightye, so
(25:48):
we have two more tips that I want to share.
Tip six is quite possibly my favorite, and it's not
one that I think we would typically think about, and
that is to spend time in nature. I cannot stress
this highly enough. It might seem like a strange addition,
(26:10):
but I read this paper. It's called The Significance of
Being Unique, and the author talks about how living close
to nature is essential for cultivating identity and to also
exercise our intelligence and to be individual. And I not
only find that very true from personal experience, but I
(26:33):
think that is a really beautiful summary and explanation as
to how nature really cultivates our identity for us. There
was this incredible study. It was conducted in twenty seventeen,
and it essentially showed what I think that we have
known for a long time, which is that exposure to
nature restores a lot of our cognitive capacities and it
(26:57):
is a very important aspect of mainaining our identity and
sense of self. So we're going to do a whole
episode on the healing power of nature because ecopsychology is
possibly my new favorite thing. But when we spend time
in outdoor environments, what it does is it essentially provides
us with different stimuli and experiences that help to rewire
(27:21):
our brain. It provides time for contemplation, and it exposes
us to things that bring us interesting stories and learning
experiences and aspects and beautiful things that we bring back
to ourselves and that allow us to express ourselves differently
and be unique. It's definitely not spoken about enough, but
(27:44):
just I think, watch the change that even ninety minutes
of outdoors time a week will have on your mindset,
on the originality of your thoughts, on your self confidence,
and creativity. I think additionally, it's very easy to spa
and time inside and to do the most convenient thing,
(28:04):
But every new thing that you do, every new challenge,
every unique experience, it really creates a version of you
that is more true and more authentic. Also, it's just
that aspect of doing things that are different, right, most
people don't prioritize spending time in nature and I guess
part of being unique is finding the right identity that
(28:26):
suits you based on your interest and based on kind
of your inner calling. So being prepared to try new
things such as go outdoors, such as you know, just
see the world around you is a great way to
kind of distinguish yourself as well. My final tip for
being completely unique is to engage in something creative creativity
(28:50):
in whatever form you choose. Whether that's doodling or making
up songs, or writing or knitting, or painting or ceramics,
it really doesn't matter. These activities reveal hidden parts of ourselves.
When we engage in a creative activity, we enter what
psychologists call a flow state, which is essentially a place
(29:12):
of deep fulfillment and peace where a lot of our
internal inhibitions are relaxed and we are going to give
our selves permission to access the parts of ourselves that
we have been told to suppress. You don't even need
to be good at it. You can be terrible at
whatever you're doing. But what this theory and this understanding
is going to tell you is that just engaging in
(29:35):
something that is new and fresh and novel and activates
different parts of your brain is going to allow you
to view information in novel ways and to be playful,
and to engage in self discovery and reveal new facets
of your identity, not just to other people, but to yourself.
I think people who have hobbies as well, and who
(29:58):
do something other than work, I can look at their phones,
they are just generally more interesting. It is the easiest
thing in the world to do what is convenient, to
get that lingering in an addictive dopamine hit from social
media and technology, to doom scroll for hours and hours,
(30:19):
and you know, part of it is because these activities
are deliberately made to be addictive. But I think that's
not going to make you an especially unique or fun
person because most people are doing the same. Most people
are really living for their phones and living for technology
(30:41):
rather than living for the things that I think really
bring a lot of flavor and color to our lives.
I want you to find even just that one thing
that you do in your free time that gets you
out of your mind and into your imagination and allows
you to build these new elements of your identity that
(31:01):
are unlike anyone else's, but also to find time to
actually reflect and sit with what's actually going on in
your life. I think self awareness and being unique come
very much hand in hand. So those are my major tips.
But I think regardless of what you think of those,
(31:22):
maybe you're still struggling with what makes you a unique person.
So I just want to quickly take a second, and
I guess it just provides you with some reminders around
why we really are different and special and purposeful. Here
are just some basic things that I found that no
one else in the world has. That you do your fingerprints,
(31:43):
first of all self explanatory, but not even identical twins
have the same fingerprints. Isn't that so beautiful that each
of us has such a unique cell composition that our
body and the patterns on our skin are never going
to be recreated. There's one thing also, Your ears super random.
But since like the nineteen fifties, forensic scientists and psychologists
(32:07):
they have been using the measurements of someone's ears to
match the prints left behind at crime scenes with almost
one hundred percent accuracy. So that is another way that
you are not like anyone else. Your body odor as well,
each of us has like a different scent, which I
think is amazing. It's also why sometimes you're really attracted
(32:31):
to the smell of someone else, and they're pheromones. Everyone's
smell is made up of a combination of like forty
four different compounds. So there you go. There's one way
that you're special. You have your own unique perfume, almost
your unique scars and your moles, even the freckles on
your body and the pores on your nose. They are
(32:54):
like constellations. They're nothing else. There is nothing else in
the universe. I like it, and you'll laugh. I think
that is one of the things that we love the
most about others, is how they laugh, how they express joy.
And it's interesting to know that that is unique to
each of us. It's like our own signature sound, and
(33:14):
of course our thoughts. No matter how much you and
another person agree, no matter how much you are similar,
your individual thoughts will never be replicated. You are like
a walking miracle. There is nothing that will ever exist
quite like you, or has ever existed quite like you.
(33:36):
And I think that is a really beautiful reminder when
we're struggling with where we actually sit in the world.
I think naturally we hate being seen as basic or
as run of the mill. I absolutely hate the use
of the term basic. I think it's always just used
to kind of negate shared interests or general similarities that
you share with others. I also think it's just another
(33:59):
word used to put down people, especially women, for the
aspects of their identity that they value, to imply that
they don't contain multitudes, that they are not individual, and
that they are not someone with unique thoughts and feelings
and worries and in a unique identity. I really hate
that term. I think it's often referred to when we
(34:21):
are like fans of certain like pop culture icons or
certain like fashion brands or TV shows or music. There's
a reason that those things are popular. It's because they
are good, and you do not need to try and
distinguish yourself by pretending to hate those things. I think
people who refer to like certain bands or certain anything
(34:44):
really as basic or really just projecting an insecurity that
they themselves are not fierce and strong enough in their
own identity to feel like they don't need to tear
others down. So there you go. I think that a
reason it can be so powerful and the reason we
use that term is it because it really does tap
into this very human insecurity we want to think that
(35:09):
we are different, because otherwise our existence is somewhat irrelevant.
If someone could take our place in our relationships, if
someone could do our job, if someone could have the
thoughts that we're having create what we're creating, well, that's
quite depressing because it essentially makes our influence and place
(35:30):
in the world quite inconsequential. It's one of the big
pillars of existential dread or even an existential crisis. In psychology,
this refers to that feeling that life is inherently pointless
and that we have no reason for being here. Nothing
we do has meaning, Nothing about our lives is special.
(35:50):
I think that's a really hard thought to counteract. But
by applying those strategies, we can feel more at peace
with what we have to offer. That we are individual,
that we know ourselves, and when we tap into our creativity,
when we question our surroundings and our beliefs, When we
(36:11):
truly examine what we want and who we are, and
we allow ourselves to express who we are authentically beyond trends,
we really bring a sense of meaning to our lives.
You do not feel like just another person walking down
the street. You do not feel like a bit of
a drone. You are yourself, you know, I always think
(36:32):
like I am Gemma, and isn't that beautiful? Like there
is no one else like me. Everyone walking down the
street is like this incredible tapestry of every experience and
everything that's happened, and their lives and their thoughts and
their narrative will never be recreated. Remember, being completely unique,
it's not about trying to be something that you're not.
(36:52):
It's about embracing who you are, your authentic self, and
expressing it in a way that sets you apart. And
that journey towards being unique is a lifelong process, and
I don't think it's one that we can do lightly.
It's one that requires constant self reflection and growth and adaptation.
(37:13):
But by really taking the time to distinguish ourselves from others,
to live our lives as if we are the only
version of ourselves of which we are, we kind of
find a new meaning in a new purpose and we
feel like who we are on this planet actually matters.
So I hope that you have enjoyed this. I hope
that you feel completely unique. I hope that you are
(37:35):
able to apply these strategies and these tips to feel
more confident. I think that's like the general outcome that
I want from today's episode. It's really been something that
I've been trying to apply to my own life, but
also trying to counteract this like weird fear of being
deemed or seen as basic or like everyone else. It's
such I think, a conundrum with social media in which
(37:59):
we're able to really see a thousand different reflections of
ourselves and the people who look like us. But also
this like striving for individuality and to have a brand
and to have a style and to be unlike anyone else,
and fame and success or are just all these themes
that are really hard to escape. But in our twenties,
we do have this opportunity to be able to figure
(38:21):
out who we are. So I would say, don't take
the task too lightly. It's an important thing to do.
And if you did enjoy this episode, please, if you
feel cool to do so, leave a five star review
wherever you are listening right now. I see all the
love I read them more. It is really like it's
such a joyful experience, So thank you for those who
(38:45):
have left a review. I see it and I very
much appreciate it. Also, if you have an episode suggestion,
or you want to be part of the community and
see what we're up to. Please follow along at that
Psychology podcast on Instagram. There's so much over there. You
can also see some filmed slash video versions of the podcast.
(39:09):
If it would be great to have you be part
of the community. And finally, if there was someone in
your life who needs to hear this episode who has
been struggling with their sense of uniqueness with any of
the things we spoke about today, please feel free to
share it along, share the love. It would be great
to have them listening along. We will be back next
(39:30):
week as always with another episode.
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