September 19, 2023 • 37 mins
This is a question I have been asking myself a lot recently as someone who is VERY invested in the self-help space. Have we reached a point where we are too aware of our problems, faults, thoughts, actions and behaviours? Self awareness can free us from so many mental restrictions, it allows us to make better decisions, be a better friend, a better person, invest in our dreams and values. But at some point, we can reach a stage where we are too invested in self-reflection and introspection that it interrupts our enjoyment of the moment, can isolate us or even result in obsessive overthinking and rumination. In this episode we explore what it means to be self-aware and how online self help content might be causing us more harm than good. Listen now.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
the podcast where we talk through some of the big
life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
(00:26):
Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever
you are in the world, it is great to have
you here. Back for another episode, Back for another topic. Today,
I think we're going to tackle a very important question
in the self help space, one that I think has
been coming up a lot more but is also the
(00:48):
source of a lot of criticism. And the question is
is it possible to be too self aware? I have
been thinking about this personally for a while, particularly as
someone who has a lot to do obviously with the
self help and the mental health space, and I really
do love it. I have no complaints. It is the
thing I love most in the world. But the one
(01:10):
thing that I do sometimes find really draining is this
tendency and sometimes this need to be constantly assessing and
analyzing my own emotions and contemplating all the psychological and
internal explanations for my behavior, you know, week after week.
And I think at times that has left me quite
(01:33):
mentally burnt out and perhaps thinking that maybe as humans
we are not meant to be constantly thinking about how
we feel who we are wile others perceive us. And
yet I think our increasing acknowledgment of our emotions and
our mental state is so beneficial. It's done wonders for
(01:54):
how we treat ourselves. We are so much more gentle
and kind to ourselves these days, and very much aware
of the people we are, of who we are becoming.
But at what point is that self reflection and contemplation
too much? At what point can that become even harmful
(02:14):
to some extent? So that is really what I want
to discuss today, That's what I want to dive into.
Let's start at the basics, though, What exactly is self
awareness and why is it such I guess a celebrated
trait and our idea in our society, something that I
would say a lot of us who consume self help
content are striving towards self awareness from a very bird's
(02:35):
eye view, is essentially our ability to understand ourselves and
align our emotions, our thoughts, actions, desires, beliefs, and values
align them all together. It's almost about having an objective
view of who we are, why we are that way,
and how we want our future selves to be. You know,
(02:57):
for example, it's about understanding what maybe you are and
you are not good at, or how you act in
front of certain people, Recognizing when something upsets you and
why that might be, Knowing what motivates you, knowing why
you think a certain way, all of these things, all
of these qualities of being someone who has higher self
awareness are really healthy, and they're really positive. I think
(03:21):
it means that we are not left feeling confused about
our behavior or alienated from ourselves, because we feel very
aligned and very stable in who we are. I think
there's also this very deep belief in our society that
by understanding ourselves we can live a better and more
(03:41):
meaningful life. And I do think that that is quite true,
because I don't think there is anyone who is going
to stand up and say that self awareness isn't something
that is incredibly positive. And that's because scientifically, psychologically it
does have so many benefits. There's been a lot of
research on this, especially in recent years and in positive
(04:04):
and organizational psychology, and according to the Harvard Business Review,
most of it, the majority of it suggests that when
we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident, we are
more creative, we make better decisions, we build stronger relationships,
and we communicate more effectively. We're also less likely to
(04:25):
do things that are seen as maybe immoral and legal
or counterproductive or antisocial, so things like lying, cheating, stealing,
and I guess we also just feel generally more content
because it's in this psychological state whereby our self is
the focus of our intention that we can really dig
(04:47):
into things that are bothering us, and we can look
critically at our lives and our surroundings for solutions. And
that self awareness, that thing that we all really want,
we all really are striving for. It's really something that
we start to developing quite early on, at around eighteen
months or so. That is when we first see signs
of self awareness. We're able to identify ourselves in a mirror,
(05:10):
and then by four to five we develop self consciousness
and we're aware of the idea that we can be
perceived by others and that we in turn can perceive them.
I think that development is both a blessing and a
curse in many ways, as we'll discuss later, Because although
(05:31):
that is normally the time when we begin to really
behave within social convention, we start to see that our
actions have cause and effect. It's also at this stage
where we begin to experience things like shame and embarrassment,
and if that is left unchecked, that can create a
lot of insecurities that stay with us into adulthood. The
(05:54):
other important thing to know about self awareness is also
that it can be divided into two distinct types or versions.
We have our public self awareness, also known as external
self awareness, and then our private or internal self awareness.
So public self awareness, as the name kind of suggests,
(06:16):
it typically emerges in situations where we are around other
people and we want to appear socially desirable and we
want to be accepted. It's the part of us that
worries what other people think, and it's sometimes very very
hypervigilant towards social cues that other people might be putting
(06:36):
out that maybe they don't like us, or that we're
behaving strangely, or that we need to be doing a
certain thing to fit in. Then we have our private
self awareness, which is basically kind of what we've been
talking about so far. It's where we are aware of
something about ourselves, maybe our feelings or our attitudes, our cognitions,
(07:00):
and the manner that is quite private that people from
the outside can't really judge or get into. It's really
our ability to introspect. It's our ability to put ourselves
in front of an internal mirror. But interestingly, it's actually
a combination of public and private self awareness that seems
to give us the greatest level of self consciousness. And
(07:22):
not self consciousness in the sense that you feel insecure,
but self consciousness in that you know yourself and you
know yourself well. I'm going to say this, I think
with most things that we talk about on this podcast.
In psychology, in general, self awareness is a spectrum. It
exists on a spectrum. There are some people who can
(07:43):
give you a very logical reason for their every action.
They understand exactly how they tick, what motivates them, why
they behave the way they do, all of their flaws.
They pathologize, they intellectualize everything. And then on the other
end is this other category of people who do things
really without having a reason or an explanation. They can't
(08:08):
really explain why they feel a certain way, or why
they do something a certain way, or who they kind
of truly are at their core people who lack self awareness.
They also typically are pretty low in empathy as well,
and that's not always the case, but I do think
(08:28):
that there is this group of people who we kind
of observe in public who just seem completely unaware that
other people exist. And I saw this TikTok the other
day that I thought really represented this, and it was
this girl kind of holding up a line of I
would say twenty or thirty people, and she was taking
a photo at an art gallery, and she just seemed
(08:49):
so unaware that there were all of these other people
who were waiting in the line behind her for ten, fifteen,
twenty minutes. That is the kind of individual that we're
looking at here when we're talking about specifically low public awareness,
but it also links to low private awareness as well.
(09:10):
And the reason people like this exist is because they
are so unaware of their own emotions and feelings what
might make them feel annoyed or frustrated or angry, that
they are unable to really see how their own behavior
might create similar feelings within others. For people who possess
(09:32):
minimal self awareness, honestly, sometimes I think it would be
nice to never have to think about how other people
see you, to have fewer insecurities based on your public image,
or to not have to identify every emotion but just
feel it. But also these individuals, I think you know,
(09:52):
it's a balance, and often they struggle in other ways.
They have more personal conflict because they are not aware
of the people's emotional states. They make poor choices, they
often have trouble self correcting or accepting responsibility, but perhaps
most crucially, their emotions somewhat control them. I want to
(10:15):
shift to the other end of the spectrum now and
really dig into that primary question that we have for today.
Is it possible to be too self aware? I think
the answer is already pretty clear, But yes, I really
do think it's possible to be almost too conscious of
what we're feeling, to the point of encountering some pretty
(10:36):
counterproductive tendencies like perfectionism, overthinking, in decisiveness, intense self consciousness,
even loneliness to some extent. It's also this strange paradox
whereby the more we attempt to know ourselves, the more
we can start to feel detached because our actions and
(10:58):
emotions they know no longer really feel like they're coming
from us, but from some outside external force that we're
watching and observing. Some people argue that at this point
we're kind of no longer actually experiencing self awareness, but
self evaluation or self obsession. However, I do think that
(11:18):
it's different, right. I think that the primary goal that
results in us getting to this point is wanting to
know ourselves better. But then it does start to almost
look like self obsession because we can no longer control
how much we are reflecting and introspecting. So if you're
someone who really doesn't remember the last time you felt
(11:39):
like there wasn't something you needed to work on or
improve about yourself, or who ruminates on every social interaction,
maybe you have gotten to the point of rationalizing every
emotional response, or really considering every word you say to
others or every slight gesture. I think that's a sign
(12:00):
that your efforts to know yourself better are actually separating
you more from your authentic self that they may have become,
as it would say in psychology, maladaptive. The crucial point
to make is that too much of a good thing
can still be harmful, and I think we see that here.
We see that in this circumstance I think also we
(12:21):
kind of fall into this trap when this is our
pattern of thought, when we are becoming consumed with analyzing
rather than feeling our emotions or looking for answers or
really trying to problem solve every single thing that we're feeling. Firstly,
we're kind of faced with a lot of chronic indecisiveness,
but also the inability to focus on our responsibilities, not
(12:44):
actually feeling like we know who we are, and a
failure to really see the bigger picture, which at times
is going to create social anxiety. Like we said before,
it's going to make it harder to make decisions, but
also that self absorbed And like I said before, I
don't necessarily think that is the case, because a lot
(13:05):
of the time when we overthink or overanalyze, we're actually
worried more about the reactions or feelings of others. But
when we spend too much time in our own thoughts,
sometimes it can be hard to get the perspective you
need to make the right decisions, the perspective that you know,
maybe not everyone really cares all that much, and that
(13:26):
you're doing or making choices for people who don't matter
because you are too a self aware be self conscious,
and I think it's kind of like this spectrum of
load to high awareness in which it's shaped like a horseshoe.
So being at either end of the extreme kind of
results in the same outcomes here, So having too little
(13:49):
self awareness and too much self awareness is going to
result in the same thing, whereby we let our emotions
control us or our thoughts control us more than they
probably should. The other major sign of someone who is
perhaps bordering on being a little bit too self aware
is that need to intellectualize or rationalize everything that they
(14:11):
are feeling. And although I think that might feel like
we're working through our emotions or problem solving, when we
find ourselves intellectualizing every experience or feeling like we have
to understand everything that we're going through, we're actually separating
ourselves from our emotions by putting up this barrier between
(14:33):
us and the actual feeling. So an example I like
to think of is heartbreak. We've all been heartbroken, We've
all had our hearts absolutely shattered, and when we go
through something like a breakup or a betrayal, or just
the natural end of a long, meaningful relationship, we are
going to feel a really intense range of human emotions.
(14:55):
Heartbreak is such a profound experience, one that really cuts
us deeply and causes a lot of real pain, and
our instinct as humans as animals is to avoid pain
at any cost, not just physical but mental as well.
So one way of doing that is by overrationalizing every
(15:16):
little twinge and moment of sadness, by saying, you know, okay,
the reason I'm feeling sad right now is because of X,
Y and Z. I felt bonded to this person. It's
because of the biological addiction to the neurotransmitters that they
released in my brain. And I know that that's going
to wear off, and I know that the only reason
I'm feeling sad is because I'm feeling lonely for some people.
(15:39):
That might make you feel better, right, But there's something
really crucial missing here, and that is that at no
point are you actually feeling that emotion. You are intellectualizing
it almost as a subconscious form of avoidance. Of emotional
avoidance and intellectualization. It does come from a place a
(16:03):
very deep self awareness, but it's also important to recognize that,
like I said before, it is a defense mechanism. At
the end of the day, by which we use reasoning
to prevent us from having to confront uncomfortable emotions, and
some studies, including one conducted back in twenty twelve one
in twenty fourteen, they suggested that this act of intellectualizing
(16:28):
our problems, our emotions, our feelings that can be just
as harmful as completely ignoring uncomfortable emotions altogether. I think
that it can also make it really hard to live
in the moment. And whilst I do sometimes think that
living in the moment is a little bit overrated and
let's face it, very difficult if you're someone who is anxious,
(16:51):
there is an important point to be made that when
we spend too much time in our own minds, and
we get stuck in our own heads and thoughts, self
refine introspecting, you're not going to be able to enjoy
the present moment as much. And I'm sure many of us,
if you're listening to this episode, have found ourselves staring
(17:12):
at a wall or completely blanking in a conversation because
we are too absorbed in trying to think over our
emotions or our actions, or some experience or what we're
going to do next. That can be really alienating and isolating,
but it also reduces not only our enjoyment of life,
but also our ability to really connect with the person
(17:35):
sitting across from us. There's also the additional consequences that
arise from extreme public or external self awareness. And I
know we've spoken a little bit about social anxiety, but
I want to dive into that further. When we have
very high public self awareness, often that can make us
(17:55):
really charismatic, it can make us really agreeable and friendly,
which is all incredible, incredible traits to have. But also
we tend to focus more on how other people view
us in certain situations than doing what makes us happy
or acting in a manner that is aligned with our
(18:16):
true selves, our authentic selves, mainly out of this fear
of being judged and a heightened acknowledgment of other people's
perceptions at the end of the day. So as a result,
we tend to stick to group norms. We try to
avoid situations in which we might embarrass ourselves or step
out of line, and we take less risks, even though,
(18:39):
like we said before, it's unlikely that anyone is even noticing.
So that external self awareness it can lead to evaluation anxiety,
in which we become distressed, anxious, worried about the opinions
of others, and put a lot more importance on them,
therefore almost becoming quite hyghper, vigilant in social situations, less authentic,
(19:02):
enjoying ourselves less and also sometimes even leading to the
development of things like a social anxiety disorder. So we
have that additional component, that social component, and then sometimes
there's a reality that we are not going to have
the answers for everything. Some emotions will just emerge spontaneously
(19:24):
with no reasons. Sometimes we are irrational creatures and we
act in ways that we don't really necessarily need an
explanation for. Hyper intellectualizing or rationalizing everything may mean that
life actually becomes almost too complex for us to actually
enjoy it, and we kind of also become that annoying
(19:46):
person at the party, as I have been many times,
who really needs to psychoanalyze everything, you know, everything that
we're doing, everything that others are doing, rather than just
being there, rather than just having fun. It's not going
to make you someone's favorite person to hang out with.
It's not always actually going to make you happier either.
(20:07):
So we've kind of outlined some of the risks some
of the ways to discern whether you are perhaps too
self aware? So why does this happen? Where does this
come from? Why are some of us bordering kind of
on the precipice of dangerous territory here? I think it's
a really interesting interaction between quite a few things and
(20:30):
one of the main culporates. And I know I'll be
stabbing myself in the back here, but it's consuming too
much self help content, and not just that, but also
contradictory self help content. So what I want to discuss
next is some of the reasons, the origins explanations for
why we have become perhaps too self aware, some of
(20:51):
the other arguments that maybe we aren't even at that
point yet where we could be gaining more knowledge about ourselves,
so much more, all of that and more after this shortbreak,
So we're going to explore a few reasons why we
(21:15):
can kind of tip over to the extreme of the
self awareness spectrum continuum, whatever you would like to call it. Now,
I want to make a quick disclaim me here. I
am in no ways advocating for you to go and
check out all of your self help books that you
spent really good money on or to quit therapy or
to never examine your feelings. I think that's totally against
(21:38):
my ethos and highly unethical to suggest. But what I
do want to explore is how can we become more
balanced such that we can still have a bit of
surprise in our life, live in the moment, and have
an authentic human experience without being tied up by our thoughts,
and also having that level of self understanding that makes
(22:00):
life just that little bit easier. So let's kind of
look at where this comes from. The first explanation has
to do with overthinking and a higher degree of perfectionism,
which is a personality trait. This has also interestingly been
linked in numerous studies to a higher IQ. So if
you are someone who is highly intelligent, the chances that
(22:22):
you are also highly self aware is going to be
pretty high. So the hypothesis or the logic kind of
follows that people who are more intelligent, they have a
greater propensity for self examination and self reflection, which can
make them more prone to things like overthinking or the
reverse relationship. People with a high IQ spend more time
(22:45):
overthinking and therefore naturally have a greater level of self awareness.
So it is the overthinking that makes them more intelligent,
both in a traditional way but also in an emotional
way as well. So overthinking occurs when we repeatedly dwell
or worry about the same thing, the same event, the
(23:07):
same thought, for an extended period of time. Like, you know,
did I say something that was embarrassing? That is a
sign of high public self awareness? Or why am I
feeling so upset or sad? Why am I not over
this by now? That would be a high private self awareness. However,
I think the fallacy of overthinking, and as a result
(23:29):
this high level of self awareness is that we kind
of convince ourselves that thinking about something repeatedly will mean
that we are better able to solve the problem, or
that we are somehow with all of this mulling over
and you know, reflection and introspection, that we're going to
find some hidden answer that we hadn't previously considered. We
(23:53):
use overthinking almost as a way to self soothe or
regulate our emotions, but we also to minimize anxiety in
the short term, because overthinking, as we know, gives us
what we call an illusion of control. However, it can
also be incredibly mentally exhausting and contrary to what we expect.
(24:15):
It can call us to fall into a pattern known
as analysis paralysis, whereby the more we think about a
problem or a situation, the less clear a solution actually becomes.
There's also a pretty strong link between self awareness, overthinking,
and then perfectionism. So a perfectionism occurs when we set
(24:38):
incredibly high standards for ourselves that are at times extremely difficult,
almost impossible to meet, and we also feel an accompanying
sense of self doubt and shame and also blame when
we feel that we cannot meet our own personal expectations.
When you are highly self aware, you are often more
(25:00):
attune to your failures and the ways in which perhaps
your actions may not be aligned with your intentions. And
so you set increasingly higher goals and standards for yourself,
and then you are constantly reflecting on how to achieve them,
and you are highly aware of what happens when you don't.
(25:21):
You feel the emotional consequences of that so deeply, because
you are not someone who can step away from a
hard feeling. You are not someone who can encounter something
like failure and not examine the causes, the effects, everything
That kind of exists in that ecosystem. I also read
this really interesting article whilst I was researching this that
(25:44):
explained how people who were only children growing up are
also more likely to have that higher propensity to spend
a lot of time self examining. And when we think
about the logic and context behind this, that makes a
lot of sense. First, most only children they didn't have
other children around the house to play with and interact
(26:06):
with and to create little games together, so they kind
of had to become really good at self entertaining and
spending a lot of time with their own thoughts. They
also probably spend a lot more time around adults their parents,
for one, but then also their parents' friends or colleagues,
and so they gain a lot of those reasoning skills
(26:29):
a lot earlier. They perhaps are quicker to intellectualize, and
that makes it more likely that they will apply those
cognitive skills not only at an earlier age, but with
more frequency because of that alone time, leading to a
high degree of self awareness, not just as a child,
(26:49):
but then again as an adult. But then there's this
final almost cultural societal explanation that I think we really
need to discuss. And like I said, for I'm kind
of undermining my own authority by discussing this. But I
also think it's important because the increasing consumption of self
(27:10):
help content I think may actually be causing us to
not be as present at times, or to be constantly
bombarded about messaging across social media, in our friendships, relationships,
even the workplace, that we need to spend a lot
more time in our own thoughts and perhaps getting into
(27:30):
psychological practices that may not actually be that evidence based
or that fruitful, And in many ways that is important, right.
Being more in touch with our emotions is important. Having
any kind of exposure to clinical work, therapy, psychology, I
(27:50):
think that is so valuable, especially in the last few decades.
You know, we've seen these enormous strides towards normal not
only conversations around mental health and mental illness, but just
emotional wellbeing in general, which I think is a huge
change from the environment we would have encountered some fifty
(28:12):
years ago, where talking about your feelings, examining your behaviors,
looking for internal explanations was seen as quite odd, was
almost stigmatized or made you the weird person in town.
And you know, I grew up and I still live
in Australia, and even these days when you travel to
(28:32):
some rural or regional areas, there's still this really big
taboo around speaking about your feelings. Things like journaling or
therapy or mindfulness or meditation. They're just seen as quote
unquote and I think completely factually incorrect, but they're seen
as weak, They're seen as quite strange. And so we've
(28:54):
attempted to really counter this by normalizing how we approach
how we're feeling and the when, the where, the why,
the how, normalizing understanding yourself better. That, of course, that
movement has really trickled and filtered into the fast media
(29:14):
that we're consuming. There are hundreds, if not thousands of
creators and public figures and social media accounts who have
really popularized and tried to make mental health content a
lot more accessible. And that is wonderful, But how do
we know that what we are kind of consuming is
(29:36):
a real or be actually helpful. I think you can
kind of find a podcast or an Instagram reel or
a TikTok about literally anything you're going through, and someone
people like myself, we are going to give you an
explanation for exactly why you're feeling a certain way, and
whilst I don't want to deny that that is really
(29:58):
really useful and valuable, obviously that's why I'm doing it.
I see that as really purposeful and important. I think
the issue arises at three major times. Firstly, when the
advice or the information we're receiving is contradictory, so one
person is telling you to do one thing, another person
(30:18):
is telling you to do another. Secondly, when it's inaccurate
or the information that we're consuming is not exactly scientific.
I think that happens all the time, where people are
going to try and give you a simple explanation for
something that and it's not actually correct, and that can
leave us feeling more confused. And then finally, when we
(30:39):
can't separate our reality from looking for an internal explanation,
This is when we fall into the trap of being
too self aware to the point where we really can't
escape the tendency to overthink and excessively self examine, and
I think worse, if we have been provided with the
(31:01):
wrong information, sometimes the conclusion that we're going to reach
is incorrect, and that's just going to leave us more stuck,
more confused, and in some ways spiraling. Also, I think
let's be honest here. It can be incredibly mentally draining
to be completely self aware of your existence and your
(31:22):
actions and how other people perceive you at all times,
and even quite existential to feel like everything you do
needs to have a reason or be aligned with some
version of yourself. It is a very delicate balancing act.
But like I said before, there is something to be
said for the occasional moment of ignorance and the opportunity
(31:46):
to just be free of your thoughts and enjoy your
life for what it is. So how do we go
about striking that balance. We do not want to give
up our self awareness. We don't want to be someone
who is completely unconscious of how we behave or who
we are. But also we want to be able to
actually enjoy our lives. I think firstly, we have to
(32:08):
recognize when we are overthinking or self examining, perhaps excessively,
and the reason why that is is the thing that
you're thinking about necessary for you to become a better
person or to feel more like yourself, or are you
just using this as a coping strategy to perhaps actually
(32:30):
avoid feeling your emotions and just staying with them until
they pass. I think be really conscious of whether the
practices that you are partaking in are they actually making
you feel better or are they just getting you more
and more stuck in a bit of a cycle, less
and less connected with who you really are. Secondly, I
(32:52):
would say be conscious of the media that you are consuming,
whether or not it is actually sound information. That is
something that I think is really crucial, because the thing
about social media that I think we all kind of
implicitly know but not many people really speak on, is
that anytime you view something, especially from a content creator,
(33:14):
those views are engagement, and engagement is money. So people
are trying to get your attention, and sometimes the thing
that is most correct, logical, has the most evidence, is
not going to be the most popular. So you really
have to make sure that what we are looking at,
what we are consuming, is factual. I think also sometimes
(33:36):
we can become almost like emotional hypochondriacs, where we need
to google and examine every little thought to determine whether
it's healthy, unhealthy, useful not useful. And honestly, I'm kind
of the opinion that every emotion has a purpose. No
emotion is inherently bad, it's just what happens when you
(34:00):
let that emotion control you. Your emotions are just there
to tell you something about how you're feeling. They are
not there to be your whole reality, right. They are
not always going to be correct, So I think don't
let the need for self awareness minimize what you're going through.
(34:21):
If you've had a particularly hard week, It's okay to
be upset and angry and not need to integrate that
right away. In fact, I think it's probably better for
you mentally to have an emotional outlet at times that
doesn't feel entirely rational. We also know that overthinking and
(34:41):
with that excessive self awareness has a very deep relationship
and a strong correlation to anxiety. So finding ways to
manage your anxiety and your stress it may also allow
you to better regulate the amount of time you spend
in your own thoughts and not let that time get
(35:03):
in the way of other meaningful, important things. One thing
I like to do for myself is just give myself
twenty minutes every day to feel really worried about something,
or to feel anxious about the things that are on
my mind. Twenty minutes to just let myself process what's
been going on in my life. Potential explanations for my
(35:26):
behavior where I feel like I fit in relation to
others or in relation to my environment, and in that moment,
I'm not suppressing that feeling. I'm not ignoring that feeling.
What I'm doing is acknowledging it and recognizing it's part
of my life, but also containing it to just one
part of my day so that it's manageable. Honestly, I
(35:49):
want to say it just one more time here. Self
awareness is not a bad thing, and I think it
is highly subjective when our level of self awareness has
been perhaps become harmful. So please just use this as
a guide or even as a thought exercise if nothing else,
and come to your own conclusions. Do you actually think
(36:10):
it's possible to be too self aware? And if you
have a different answer, or if you agree with me,
let me know. I would honestly love to hear it.
I don't think that there has been enough research into
this in the broader psychology space, but I think it's
going to be really interesting to see how this trend
might develop over time, and how we might see kind
(36:32):
of a separation between different groups in society, one group
who has had access to this information and who is
reaching these higher levels of introspection and self consciousness, and
then other people who might not be as accepting of
some of these theories and ideas, and how that difference
kind of manifests in our lives. So I think it's
(36:53):
super interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts. If
you don't already follow me on Instagram, it is at
that psychology podcast, so follow me over there, shoot me
a DM if you have an opinion, and as always,
if you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to give
it a five star review whatever you are listening. I
(37:14):
know that I say this all the time, but it
still stands true. I read every single one of your reviews.
I read every single one of your dms, and it's
really honestly mind blowing. Honestly, how many of you are
out there, all the different countries that you're from this
community is just insanely cool. So thank you so much
for following along and supporting me. I really hope you
(37:37):
enjoyed this episode and we will be back next week
with another one.
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
the podcast where we talk through some of the big
life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
(00:26):
Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever
you are in the world, it is great to have
you here. Back for another episode, Back for another topic. Today,
I think we're going to tackle a very important question
in the self help space, one that I think has
been coming up a lot more but is also the
(00:48):
source of a lot of criticism. And the question is
is it possible to be too self aware? I have
been thinking about this personally for a while, particularly as
someone who has a lot to do obviously with the
self help and the mental health space, and I really
do love it. I have no complaints. It is the
thing I love most in the world. But the one
(01:10):
thing that I do sometimes find really draining is this
tendency and sometimes this need to be constantly assessing and
analyzing my own emotions and contemplating all the psychological and
internal explanations for my behavior, you know, week after week.
And I think at times that has left me quite
(01:33):
mentally burnt out and perhaps thinking that maybe as humans
we are not meant to be constantly thinking about how
we feel who we are wile others perceive us. And
yet I think our increasing acknowledgment of our emotions and
our mental state is so beneficial. It's done wonders for
(01:54):
how we treat ourselves. We are so much more gentle
and kind to ourselves these days, and very much aware
of the people we are, of who we are becoming.
But at what point is that self reflection and contemplation
too much? At what point can that become even harmful
(02:14):
to some extent? So that is really what I want
to discuss today, That's what I want to dive into.
Let's start at the basics, though, What exactly is self
awareness and why is it such I guess a celebrated
trait and our idea in our society, something that I
would say a lot of us who consume self help
content are striving towards self awareness from a very bird's
(02:35):
eye view, is essentially our ability to understand ourselves and
align our emotions, our thoughts, actions, desires, beliefs, and values
align them all together. It's almost about having an objective
view of who we are, why we are that way,
and how we want our future selves to be. You know,
(02:57):
for example, it's about understanding what maybe you are and
you are not good at, or how you act in
front of certain people, Recognizing when something upsets you and
why that might be, Knowing what motivates you, knowing why
you think a certain way, all of these things, all
of these qualities of being someone who has higher self
awareness are really healthy, and they're really positive. I think
(03:21):
it means that we are not left feeling confused about
our behavior or alienated from ourselves, because we feel very
aligned and very stable in who we are. I think
there's also this very deep belief in our society that
by understanding ourselves we can live a better and more
(03:41):
meaningful life. And I do think that that is quite true,
because I don't think there is anyone who is going
to stand up and say that self awareness isn't something
that is incredibly positive. And that's because scientifically, psychologically it
does have so many benefits. There's been a lot of
research on this, especially in recent years and in positive
(04:04):
and organizational psychology, and according to the Harvard Business Review,
most of it, the majority of it suggests that when
we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident, we are
more creative, we make better decisions, we build stronger relationships,
and we communicate more effectively. We're also less likely to
(04:25):
do things that are seen as maybe immoral and legal
or counterproductive or antisocial, so things like lying, cheating, stealing,
and I guess we also just feel generally more content
because it's in this psychological state whereby our self is
the focus of our intention that we can really dig
(04:47):
into things that are bothering us, and we can look
critically at our lives and our surroundings for solutions. And
that self awareness, that thing that we all really want,
we all really are striving for. It's really something that
we start to developing quite early on, at around eighteen
months or so. That is when we first see signs
of self awareness. We're able to identify ourselves in a mirror,
(05:10):
and then by four to five we develop self consciousness
and we're aware of the idea that we can be
perceived by others and that we in turn can perceive them.
I think that development is both a blessing and a
curse in many ways, as we'll discuss later, Because although
(05:31):
that is normally the time when we begin to really
behave within social convention, we start to see that our
actions have cause and effect. It's also at this stage
where we begin to experience things like shame and embarrassment,
and if that is left unchecked, that can create a
lot of insecurities that stay with us into adulthood. The
(05:54):
other important thing to know about self awareness is also
that it can be divided into two distinct types or versions.
We have our public self awareness, also known as external
self awareness, and then our private or internal self awareness.
So public self awareness, as the name kind of suggests,
(06:16):
it typically emerges in situations where we are around other
people and we want to appear socially desirable and we
want to be accepted. It's the part of us that
worries what other people think, and it's sometimes very very
hypervigilant towards social cues that other people might be putting
(06:36):
out that maybe they don't like us, or that we're
behaving strangely, or that we need to be doing a
certain thing to fit in. Then we have our private
self awareness, which is basically kind of what we've been
talking about so far. It's where we are aware of
something about ourselves, maybe our feelings or our attitudes, our cognitions,
(07:00):
and the manner that is quite private that people from
the outside can't really judge or get into. It's really
our ability to introspect. It's our ability to put ourselves
in front of an internal mirror. But interestingly, it's actually
a combination of public and private self awareness that seems
to give us the greatest level of self consciousness. And
(07:22):
not self consciousness in the sense that you feel insecure,
but self consciousness in that you know yourself and you
know yourself well. I'm going to say this, I think
with most things that we talk about on this podcast.
In psychology, in general, self awareness is a spectrum. It
exists on a spectrum. There are some people who can
(07:43):
give you a very logical reason for their every action.
They understand exactly how they tick, what motivates them, why
they behave the way they do, all of their flaws.
They pathologize, they intellectualize everything. And then on the other
end is this other category of people who do things
really without having a reason or an explanation. They can't
(08:08):
really explain why they feel a certain way, or why
they do something a certain way, or who they kind
of truly are at their core people who lack self awareness.
They also typically are pretty low in empathy as well,
and that's not always the case, but I do think
(08:28):
that there is this group of people who we kind
of observe in public who just seem completely unaware that
other people exist. And I saw this TikTok the other
day that I thought really represented this, and it was
this girl kind of holding up a line of I
would say twenty or thirty people, and she was taking
a photo at an art gallery, and she just seemed
(08:49):
so unaware that there were all of these other people
who were waiting in the line behind her for ten, fifteen,
twenty minutes. That is the kind of individual that we're
looking at here when we're talking about specifically low public awareness,
but it also links to low private awareness as well.
(09:10):
And the reason people like this exist is because they
are so unaware of their own emotions and feelings what
might make them feel annoyed or frustrated or angry, that
they are unable to really see how their own behavior
might create similar feelings within others. For people who possess
(09:32):
minimal self awareness, honestly, sometimes I think it would be
nice to never have to think about how other people
see you, to have fewer insecurities based on your public image,
or to not have to identify every emotion but just
feel it. But also these individuals, I think you know,
(09:52):
it's a balance, and often they struggle in other ways.
They have more personal conflict because they are not aware
of the people's emotional states. They make poor choices, they
often have trouble self correcting or accepting responsibility, but perhaps
most crucially, their emotions somewhat control them. I want to
(10:15):
shift to the other end of the spectrum now and
really dig into that primary question that we have for today.
Is it possible to be too self aware? I think
the answer is already pretty clear, But yes, I really
do think it's possible to be almost too conscious of
what we're feeling, to the point of encountering some pretty
(10:36):
counterproductive tendencies like perfectionism, overthinking, in decisiveness, intense self consciousness,
even loneliness to some extent. It's also this strange paradox
whereby the more we attempt to know ourselves, the more
we can start to feel detached because our actions and
(10:58):
emotions they know no longer really feel like they're coming
from us, but from some outside external force that we're
watching and observing. Some people argue that at this point
we're kind of no longer actually experiencing self awareness, but
self evaluation or self obsession. However, I do think that
(11:18):
it's different, right. I think that the primary goal that
results in us getting to this point is wanting to
know ourselves better. But then it does start to almost
look like self obsession because we can no longer control
how much we are reflecting and introspecting. So if you're
someone who really doesn't remember the last time you felt
(11:39):
like there wasn't something you needed to work on or
improve about yourself, or who ruminates on every social interaction,
maybe you have gotten to the point of rationalizing every
emotional response, or really considering every word you say to
others or every slight gesture. I think that's a sign
(12:00):
that your efforts to know yourself better are actually separating
you more from your authentic self that they may have become,
as it would say in psychology, maladaptive. The crucial point
to make is that too much of a good thing
can still be harmful, and I think we see that here.
We see that in this circumstance I think also we
(12:21):
kind of fall into this trap when this is our
pattern of thought, when we are becoming consumed with analyzing
rather than feeling our emotions or looking for answers or
really trying to problem solve every single thing that we're feeling. Firstly,
we're kind of faced with a lot of chronic indecisiveness,
but also the inability to focus on our responsibilities, not
(12:44):
actually feeling like we know who we are, and a
failure to really see the bigger picture, which at times
is going to create social anxiety. Like we said before,
it's going to make it harder to make decisions, but
also that self absorbed And like I said before, I
don't necessarily think that is the case, because a lot
(13:05):
of the time when we overthink or overanalyze, we're actually
worried more about the reactions or feelings of others. But
when we spend too much time in our own thoughts,
sometimes it can be hard to get the perspective you
need to make the right decisions, the perspective that you know,
maybe not everyone really cares all that much, and that
(13:26):
you're doing or making choices for people who don't matter
because you are too a self aware be self conscious,
and I think it's kind of like this spectrum of
load to high awareness in which it's shaped like a horseshoe.
So being at either end of the extreme kind of
results in the same outcomes here, So having too little
(13:49):
self awareness and too much self awareness is going to
result in the same thing, whereby we let our emotions
control us or our thoughts control us more than they
probably should. The other major sign of someone who is
perhaps bordering on being a little bit too self aware
is that need to intellectualize or rationalize everything that they
(14:11):
are feeling. And although I think that might feel like
we're working through our emotions or problem solving, when we
find ourselves intellectualizing every experience or feeling like we have
to understand everything that we're going through, we're actually separating
ourselves from our emotions by putting up this barrier between
(14:33):
us and the actual feeling. So an example I like
to think of is heartbreak. We've all been heartbroken, We've
all had our hearts absolutely shattered, and when we go
through something like a breakup or a betrayal, or just
the natural end of a long, meaningful relationship, we are
going to feel a really intense range of human emotions.
(14:55):
Heartbreak is such a profound experience, one that really cuts
us deeply and causes a lot of real pain, and
our instinct as humans as animals is to avoid pain
at any cost, not just physical but mental as well.
So one way of doing that is by overrationalizing every
(15:16):
little twinge and moment of sadness, by saying, you know, okay,
the reason I'm feeling sad right now is because of X,
Y and Z. I felt bonded to this person. It's
because of the biological addiction to the neurotransmitters that they
released in my brain. And I know that that's going
to wear off, and I know that the only reason
I'm feeling sad is because I'm feeling lonely for some people.
(15:39):
That might make you feel better, right, But there's something
really crucial missing here, and that is that at no
point are you actually feeling that emotion. You are intellectualizing
it almost as a subconscious form of avoidance. Of emotional
avoidance and intellectualization. It does come from a place a
(16:03):
very deep self awareness, but it's also important to recognize that,
like I said before, it is a defense mechanism. At
the end of the day, by which we use reasoning
to prevent us from having to confront uncomfortable emotions, and
some studies, including one conducted back in twenty twelve one
in twenty fourteen, they suggested that this act of intellectualizing
(16:28):
our problems, our emotions, our feelings that can be just
as harmful as completely ignoring uncomfortable emotions altogether. I think
that it can also make it really hard to live
in the moment. And whilst I do sometimes think that
living in the moment is a little bit overrated and
let's face it, very difficult if you're someone who is anxious,
(16:51):
there is an important point to be made that when
we spend too much time in our own minds, and
we get stuck in our own heads and thoughts, self
refine introspecting, you're not going to be able to enjoy
the present moment as much. And I'm sure many of us,
if you're listening to this episode, have found ourselves staring
(17:12):
at a wall or completely blanking in a conversation because
we are too absorbed in trying to think over our
emotions or our actions, or some experience or what we're
going to do next. That can be really alienating and isolating,
but it also reduces not only our enjoyment of life,
but also our ability to really connect with the person
(17:35):
sitting across from us. There's also the additional consequences that
arise from extreme public or external self awareness. And I
know we've spoken a little bit about social anxiety, but
I want to dive into that further. When we have
very high public self awareness, often that can make us
(17:55):
really charismatic, it can make us really agreeable and friendly,
which is all incredible, incredible traits to have. But also
we tend to focus more on how other people view
us in certain situations than doing what makes us happy
or acting in a manner that is aligned with our
(18:16):
true selves, our authentic selves, mainly out of this fear
of being judged and a heightened acknowledgment of other people's
perceptions at the end of the day. So as a result,
we tend to stick to group norms. We try to
avoid situations in which we might embarrass ourselves or step
out of line, and we take less risks, even though,
(18:39):
like we said before, it's unlikely that anyone is even noticing.
So that external self awareness it can lead to evaluation anxiety,
in which we become distressed, anxious, worried about the opinions
of others, and put a lot more importance on them,
therefore almost becoming quite hyghper, vigilant in social situations, less authentic,
(19:02):
enjoying ourselves less and also sometimes even leading to the
development of things like a social anxiety disorder. So we
have that additional component, that social component, and then sometimes
there's a reality that we are not going to have
the answers for everything. Some emotions will just emerge spontaneously
(19:24):
with no reasons. Sometimes we are irrational creatures and we
act in ways that we don't really necessarily need an
explanation for. Hyper intellectualizing or rationalizing everything may mean that
life actually becomes almost too complex for us to actually
enjoy it, and we kind of also become that annoying
(19:46):
person at the party, as I have been many times,
who really needs to psychoanalyze everything, you know, everything that
we're doing, everything that others are doing, rather than just
being there, rather than just having fun. It's not going
to make you someone's favorite person to hang out with.
It's not always actually going to make you happier either.
(20:07):
So we've kind of outlined some of the risks some
of the ways to discern whether you are perhaps too
self aware? So why does this happen? Where does this
come from? Why are some of us bordering kind of
on the precipice of dangerous territory here? I think it's
a really interesting interaction between quite a few things and
(20:30):
one of the main culporates. And I know I'll be
stabbing myself in the back here, but it's consuming too
much self help content, and not just that, but also
contradictory self help content. So what I want to discuss
next is some of the reasons, the origins explanations for
why we have become perhaps too self aware, some of
(20:51):
the other arguments that maybe we aren't even at that
point yet where we could be gaining more knowledge about ourselves,
so much more, all of that and more after this shortbreak,
So we're going to explore a few reasons why we
(21:15):
can kind of tip over to the extreme of the
self awareness spectrum continuum, whatever you would like to call it. Now,
I want to make a quick disclaim me here. I
am in no ways advocating for you to go and
check out all of your self help books that you
spent really good money on or to quit therapy or
to never examine your feelings. I think that's totally against
(21:38):
my ethos and highly unethical to suggest. But what I
do want to explore is how can we become more
balanced such that we can still have a bit of
surprise in our life, live in the moment, and have
an authentic human experience without being tied up by our thoughts,
and also having that level of self understanding that makes
(22:00):
life just that little bit easier. So let's kind of
look at where this comes from. The first explanation has
to do with overthinking and a higher degree of perfectionism,
which is a personality trait. This has also interestingly been
linked in numerous studies to a higher IQ. So if
you are someone who is highly intelligent, the chances that
(22:22):
you are also highly self aware is going to be
pretty high. So the hypothesis or the logic kind of
follows that people who are more intelligent, they have a
greater propensity for self examination and self reflection, which can
make them more prone to things like overthinking or the
reverse relationship. People with a high IQ spend more time
(22:45):
overthinking and therefore naturally have a greater level of self awareness.
So it is the overthinking that makes them more intelligent,
both in a traditional way but also in an emotional
way as well. So overthinking occurs when we repeatedly dwell
or worry about the same thing, the same event, the
(23:07):
same thought, for an extended period of time. Like, you know,
did I say something that was embarrassing? That is a
sign of high public self awareness? Or why am I
feeling so upset or sad? Why am I not over
this by now? That would be a high private self awareness. However,
I think the fallacy of overthinking, and as a result
(23:29):
this high level of self awareness is that we kind
of convince ourselves that thinking about something repeatedly will mean
that we are better able to solve the problem, or
that we are somehow with all of this mulling over
and you know, reflection and introspection, that we're going to
find some hidden answer that we hadn't previously considered. We
(23:53):
use overthinking almost as a way to self soothe or
regulate our emotions, but we also to minimize anxiety in
the short term, because overthinking, as we know, gives us
what we call an illusion of control. However, it can
also be incredibly mentally exhausting and contrary to what we expect.
(24:15):
It can call us to fall into a pattern known
as analysis paralysis, whereby the more we think about a
problem or a situation, the less clear a solution actually becomes.
There's also a pretty strong link between self awareness, overthinking,
and then perfectionism. So a perfectionism occurs when we set
(24:38):
incredibly high standards for ourselves that are at times extremely difficult,
almost impossible to meet, and we also feel an accompanying
sense of self doubt and shame and also blame when
we feel that we cannot meet our own personal expectations.
When you are highly self aware, you are often more
(25:00):
attune to your failures and the ways in which perhaps
your actions may not be aligned with your intentions. And
so you set increasingly higher goals and standards for yourself,
and then you are constantly reflecting on how to achieve them,
and you are highly aware of what happens when you don't.
(25:21):
You feel the emotional consequences of that so deeply, because
you are not someone who can step away from a
hard feeling. You are not someone who can encounter something
like failure and not examine the causes, the effects, everything
That kind of exists in that ecosystem. I also read
this really interesting article whilst I was researching this that
(25:44):
explained how people who were only children growing up are
also more likely to have that higher propensity to spend
a lot of time self examining. And when we think
about the logic and context behind this, that makes a
lot of sense. First, most only children they didn't have
other children around the house to play with and interact
(26:06):
with and to create little games together, so they kind
of had to become really good at self entertaining and
spending a lot of time with their own thoughts. They
also probably spend a lot more time around adults their parents,
for one, but then also their parents' friends or colleagues,
and so they gain a lot of those reasoning skills
(26:29):
a lot earlier. They perhaps are quicker to intellectualize, and
that makes it more likely that they will apply those
cognitive skills not only at an earlier age, but with
more frequency because of that alone time, leading to a
high degree of self awareness, not just as a child,
(26:49):
but then again as an adult. But then there's this
final almost cultural societal explanation that I think we really
need to discuss. And like I said, for I'm kind
of undermining my own authority by discussing this. But I
also think it's important because the increasing consumption of self
(27:10):
help content I think may actually be causing us to
not be as present at times, or to be constantly
bombarded about messaging across social media, in our friendships, relationships,
even the workplace, that we need to spend a lot
more time in our own thoughts and perhaps getting into
(27:30):
psychological practices that may not actually be that evidence based
or that fruitful, And in many ways that is important, right.
Being more in touch with our emotions is important. Having
any kind of exposure to clinical work, therapy, psychology, I
(27:50):
think that is so valuable, especially in the last few decades.
You know, we've seen these enormous strides towards normal not
only conversations around mental health and mental illness, but just
emotional wellbeing in general, which I think is a huge
change from the environment we would have encountered some fifty
(28:12):
years ago, where talking about your feelings, examining your behaviors,
looking for internal explanations was seen as quite odd, was
almost stigmatized or made you the weird person in town.
And you know, I grew up and I still live
in Australia, and even these days when you travel to
(28:32):
some rural or regional areas, there's still this really big
taboo around speaking about your feelings. Things like journaling or
therapy or mindfulness or meditation. They're just seen as quote
unquote and I think completely factually incorrect, but they're seen
as weak, They're seen as quite strange. And so we've
(28:54):
attempted to really counter this by normalizing how we approach
how we're feeling and the when, the where, the why,
the how, normalizing understanding yourself better. That, of course, that
movement has really trickled and filtered into the fast media
(29:14):
that we're consuming. There are hundreds, if not thousands of
creators and public figures and social media accounts who have
really popularized and tried to make mental health content a
lot more accessible. And that is wonderful, But how do
we know that what we are kind of consuming is
(29:36):
a real or be actually helpful. I think you can
kind of find a podcast or an Instagram reel or
a TikTok about literally anything you're going through, and someone
people like myself, we are going to give you an
explanation for exactly why you're feeling a certain way, and
whilst I don't want to deny that that is really
(29:58):
really useful and valuable, obviously that's why I'm doing it.
I see that as really purposeful and important. I think
the issue arises at three major times. Firstly, when the
advice or the information we're receiving is contradictory, so one
person is telling you to do one thing, another person
(30:18):
is telling you to do another. Secondly, when it's inaccurate
or the information that we're consuming is not exactly scientific.
I think that happens all the time, where people are
going to try and give you a simple explanation for
something that and it's not actually correct, and that can
leave us feeling more confused. And then finally, when we
(30:39):
can't separate our reality from looking for an internal explanation,
This is when we fall into the trap of being
too self aware to the point where we really can't
escape the tendency to overthink and excessively self examine, and
I think worse, if we have been provided with the
(31:01):
wrong information, sometimes the conclusion that we're going to reach
is incorrect, and that's just going to leave us more stuck,
more confused, and in some ways spiraling. Also, I think
let's be honest here. It can be incredibly mentally draining
to be completely self aware of your existence and your
(31:22):
actions and how other people perceive you at all times,
and even quite existential to feel like everything you do
needs to have a reason or be aligned with some
version of yourself. It is a very delicate balancing act.
But like I said before, there is something to be
said for the occasional moment of ignorance and the opportunity
(31:46):
to just be free of your thoughts and enjoy your
life for what it is. So how do we go
about striking that balance. We do not want to give
up our self awareness. We don't want to be someone
who is completely unconscious of how we behave or who
we are. But also we want to be able to
actually enjoy our lives. I think firstly, we have to
(32:08):
recognize when we are overthinking or self examining, perhaps excessively,
and the reason why that is is the thing that
you're thinking about necessary for you to become a better
person or to feel more like yourself, or are you
just using this as a coping strategy to perhaps actually
(32:30):
avoid feeling your emotions and just staying with them until
they pass. I think be really conscious of whether the
practices that you are partaking in are they actually making
you feel better or are they just getting you more
and more stuck in a bit of a cycle, less
and less connected with who you really are. Secondly, I
(32:52):
would say be conscious of the media that you are consuming,
whether or not it is actually sound information. That is
something that I think is really crucial, because the thing
about social media that I think we all kind of
implicitly know but not many people really speak on, is
that anytime you view something, especially from a content creator,
(33:14):
those views are engagement, and engagement is money. So people
are trying to get your attention, and sometimes the thing
that is most correct, logical, has the most evidence, is
not going to be the most popular. So you really
have to make sure that what we are looking at,
what we are consuming, is factual. I think also sometimes
(33:36):
we can become almost like emotional hypochondriacs, where we need
to google and examine every little thought to determine whether
it's healthy, unhealthy, useful not useful. And honestly, I'm kind
of the opinion that every emotion has a purpose. No
emotion is inherently bad, it's just what happens when you
(34:00):
let that emotion control you. Your emotions are just there
to tell you something about how you're feeling. They are
not there to be your whole reality, right. They are
not always going to be correct, So I think don't
let the need for self awareness minimize what you're going through.
(34:21):
If you've had a particularly hard week, It's okay to
be upset and angry and not need to integrate that
right away. In fact, I think it's probably better for
you mentally to have an emotional outlet at times that
doesn't feel entirely rational. We also know that overthinking and
(34:41):
with that excessive self awareness has a very deep relationship
and a strong correlation to anxiety. So finding ways to
manage your anxiety and your stress it may also allow
you to better regulate the amount of time you spend
in your own thoughts and not let that time get
(35:03):
in the way of other meaningful, important things. One thing
I like to do for myself is just give myself
twenty minutes every day to feel really worried about something,
or to feel anxious about the things that are on
my mind. Twenty minutes to just let myself process what's
been going on in my life. Potential explanations for my
(35:26):
behavior where I feel like I fit in relation to
others or in relation to my environment, and in that moment,
I'm not suppressing that feeling. I'm not ignoring that feeling.
What I'm doing is acknowledging it and recognizing it's part
of my life, but also containing it to just one
part of my day so that it's manageable. Honestly, I
(35:49):
want to say it just one more time here. Self
awareness is not a bad thing, and I think it
is highly subjective when our level of self awareness has
been perhaps become harmful. So please just use this as
a guide or even as a thought exercise if nothing else,
and come to your own conclusions. Do you actually think
(36:10):
it's possible to be too self aware? And if you
have a different answer, or if you agree with me,
let me know. I would honestly love to hear it.
I don't think that there has been enough research into
this in the broader psychology space, but I think it's
going to be really interesting to see how this trend
might develop over time, and how we might see kind
(36:32):
of a separation between different groups in society, one group
who has had access to this information and who is
reaching these higher levels of introspection and self consciousness, and
then other people who might not be as accepting of
some of these theories and ideas, and how that difference
kind of manifests in our lives. So I think it's
(36:53):
super interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts. If
you don't already follow me on Instagram, it is at
that psychology podcast, so follow me over there, shoot me
a DM if you have an opinion, and as always,
if you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to give
it a five star review whatever you are listening. I
(37:14):
know that I say this all the time, but it
still stands true. I read every single one of your reviews.
I read every single one of your dms, and it's
really honestly mind blowing. Honestly, how many of you are
out there, all the different countries that you're from this
community is just insanely cool. So thank you so much
for following along and supporting me. I really hope you
(37:37):
enjoyed this episode and we will be back next week
with another one.
Host
Jemma Sbeghen
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