November 26, 2025 • 54 mins
Comedian, author, and fellow podcast host Chelsea Handler joins Questlove for a candid, laugh-filled conversation about her unconventional daily routines, family stories, her love of travel, and the art of living in the moment. Chelsea opens up about finding humor in chaos, navigating relationships, embracing failure, and the importance of taking extended vacations. She shares wisdom, wit, and unforgettable personal anecdotes throughout the episode. Don’t miss this inspiring episode packed with laughs and wisdom. Chelsea's High & Mighty Tour will run throughout early 2026.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Quest Love Show is a production of iHeartRadio. Hey What's up, Everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome to The Questlove Show, a new era and a
format for QLs. After close to a decade of award
winning podcast You Know and Love, I'm back with a
new idea after a lengthy hiatus having conversations with people
who always wanted to get to know on a deeper level.
This week I spoke with Chelsea Handler virtually. She was
(00:30):
at home in Los Angeles and I was in my
office at thirty Rock in New York City, the Red Room.
We know Chelsea as a comedian, television host, and a
seven time New York Times bestselling author, with her latest book,
I'll Have What She's Having out this year. Chelsea is
also part of the iHeart Podcast family.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
With her Dear Chelsea Show.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
This year, you can catch Chelsea Handler on her High
and Mighty tour along with her Las Vegas residency at
the Cosmopolity.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I was really happy to have her.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
On the sho as the launch of this QLs two
pointoero period.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
For me.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
This conversation you're gonna hear why Chelsea is present. She
lives in the moment, She loves vacations, She also prides
herself as a listener, which she was with some of
my questions. Chelsea is raw and unfiltered, and in this
conversation we discussed perhaps traveling together. Listening to Chelsea talk
about her favorite places. You know, sounds fun, liberating, and
(01:25):
grateful her work ethic. Like me, she wears many hats,
and this one was for me and Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Like a few QLs guests in the past, she was
opening to random questions and jumping around a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So I hope you liked this new approach for QLs
and let's get to it all right, enjoy.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Hey, Chelse, welcome to the quest Left Show. How are
you today? How's it going?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I'm good. I like the looks of where you are.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
It looks like it is a marijuana infuse dark room.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I am so not that person.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
I am.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, okay, So this is what I want to know.
What time did you wake up this morning?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Six twelve am?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Is that typically where your body clock sets off? Or yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Unfortunately I kind of would prefer to sleep a little
bit later, but like, I kind of need a good
two to three hours before things get going.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Just to decuntify.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Do you know what I mean like I'm a bitch
and I have to wake up.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I write in my gratitude journal that's now on my phone.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
So that's a lot easier than writing because I've lost
the I've lost the aptitude.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
For writing or the design. It hurts. So I do
my little gratitude.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I say everything I'm grateful for, even if you know
I'm not feeling great.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Then I meditate for twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I play with my dog, I let him out, and
I just slowly.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Come to you know what I mean. I need a
good two to three hour lead time to start. I
had everyone else to start my day.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
So yes, wherever I am in the world, typically I
wake up pretty early.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Okay, so that's what your first fifteen minutes. But what
I want to know.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Is, what was the last half hour of your last night,
of your day? Last night? What is the last half hour?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Huh? Last half hour?
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I went to this tech conference or like this kind
of tech gathering. So I came home from that pretty early.
I was home by like nine p thirty. I came
home from that, I got into bed, I put on
Charlie Sheen's documentary and then that's like background noise. So
I'm not really watching it, but I just kind of
liked the TV to lull me into sleep. And then
(03:45):
while that's happening, I'm checking my phone, returning my emails.
I'm doing a big stand up tour next year, so
I looked at my ticket accounts because it just went
on sale, so I peruse that.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Then I looked.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
At my emails, look at my day tomorrow, and then
I just put my eye shades on. I put my
rain machine on so that I have the thunderstorm going,
and then Charlie Sheen, and then usually about like ten
minutes of whatever background TV I have on. After I
put my eye shades on, I turn off, and then
(04:18):
I'm usually down.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Okay, I was going to ask, do you sleep with
the TV on or off?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
So off off, but I fall asleep with it on.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
I find it helpful to fall asleep, And I know
that's not Everyone will say that's a bad but I
don't really give a shit. I'm fifty years old. I
know what's best for me.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
During the uh what I'll say in air quotes the
first cycle, I used to always sleep to the news,
just to make sure that we are all in one piece.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
The next morning, right right.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
But then the more I started studying about how the
brain works and how the subconscious works, I realized that
sleeping the doom and gloom as I was sleeping was
making my day worse. So I actually started maybe turning
off the television maybe in yeah, three years ago.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Yeah, I mean, in general, it's probably a good privent,
like not to watch the news at all. I mean,
there's really nothing that we're gaining from watching that. Listening
to a podcast, a political podcast, I find is much
less damaging, especially while you're out and driving.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
There's something about.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Driving and listening to the news that is less damaging
to your system than actually just sitting on your couch
and watching the news.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
So the way that I take an information, for instance,
like if the Roots have a difficult song to master,
or if I have to do something that requires like memory,
I'll actually sleep to that loop, you know, like, oh yeah,
when you're in your sleepy, tired, THETA state, that's where
(05:53):
you retain. But I also believe that when you're driving,
that's the equivalent of sleeping, because you're still in your
subconscious state even though you're.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Aware in driving.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
But I tend to read a lot of audiobooks and
listen to podcasts while driving because I'll retain the information better.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I don't know why, but you know I love driving.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I love driving.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That is like my live in California.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Yeah, I live in LA. So there's a lot of
traffic here and that's the lamee.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
But it's so nice to know when I can leave
somewhere and it's like a forty five minute drive, not
sitting in traffic, but an actual forty five minute drive
Like that, I can go up to maulhalland and look
at the views and have a long ride with myself,
Like that's my kind of that's my vibe.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
People are often shocked that when I get to LA,
I want to drive myself. For me, especially you know,
when I'm testing music, Like I whenever an album was complete,
I would go up the Pacific Coast Highway and test
the material because for me, if it works on that drive,
then it works elsewhere. So it's it's a therapeutic thing
(07:02):
for me. But I never heard a person that lives
in California.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Like I thought I was the only one.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
People look at me like, wait, you like to drive,
And I thought I was the only one so I'm
glad to know that.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Yeah, I prefer I don'tfer I like, if I'm in
New York City, I prefer to be driven.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
If I'm in LA, I prefer to drive.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Okay, So how old were you when you realize you
had a gift? Be it charisma or organizational skills or.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
It's definitely not organizational skills. I've never realized anything about that.
In fact, I mean, yeah, don't.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
I don't have that.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I have no logistical expertise, no domesticity. I think I
realized I was precocious and that I got attention for that.
And I was the youngest of six children, so like,
to me, that was an avenue to get what I
wanted was to be kind of bold and brazen and
say the things that nobody would accept a little five
or six year old girl to say. And I got
(08:01):
rewarded a lot from my three brothers because they thought
it was so funny because I was obnoxious, and they'd
be like, go up and tell that guy that he's
an idiot, and I'd be like, no problem, and then
I'd go and tell them and they'd be laughing, you know,
like they made me do stuff like that all the time,
and I loved their reaction to that. So then that
became my commodity. Like I became that kind of personality
(08:22):
and I leaned into it pretty hard.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Six siblings, five siblings. I'm the youngest of six.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Can you rank them in order?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yes? I can.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Rank your siblings in order.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Chat Roy, Glad Simone and Shashana Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I don't mean by age, I mean by closeness.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Oh oh oh, sorry, I thought my brothers and sisters.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I'm like, fuck it, I hope so.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Or what skill set does each sibling have that you
admire the most? I won't make you okay.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Okay, Well, my brother, my oldest brother, not to be
a bummer, but he died when I was nine years old,
so he's out of the picture. But I still account
to him as my brother because obviously my brother, my
second oldest brother. Roy is a chef and he is
the biggest teddy bear in the world. He was the
chef on Chelsea Lately. He was the chef on my
Netflix show. He's the one you just always want around.
(09:16):
He's like a party favor. Roy is the sweetest, most
gentle man you know, Like we just all love him.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
My sisters and I are like, that's our teddy bear.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Then there's Glenn, my other brother, who's very intelligent but
also slightly misogynist and like he's married to a Russian
woman who's a real Putin sympathizer. So I have a
little of a bit of a challenging relationship with that
part of the family.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I spent my last twenty.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Five years going on vacation with my whole family, Like
I take a lot of pleasure and like taking my
whole family away. And after, like, you know, like four
years ago, I was like I'm wrapped. I was like,
I didn't marry this woman, Olga, you did you go
on vacation with her. I no longer want to finance
a vacation where I'm listening to Russian state propaganda, So
that relationships a little bit, you know, it's got some friction.
(10:04):
My sisters are Simone and Shashana, and my sister's a
healthcare attorney, and my other sister has her own ear
piercing company in New Jersey, and the.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Girls are always reyal tight.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Our whole family's pretty close and communicative.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
But like, you know, are you the family alpha? Yes,
you're the organizer.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Okay, so Thanksgiving time.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Who's Thanksgiving time?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Thanksgiving start for you.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Well, Thanksgiving time starts for me by telling my family
we're not celebrating together this year.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Leave me out of it.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I don't care about holidays. I don't care about Christmas.
I don't like being told when to celebrate general.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, I just I.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Find that all very annoying. Like I want to celebrate.
I want to have a life when I want to
have a life. I don't like when people are like, Okay,
today's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
I'm just not into it. Butgiving whatever the hell.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
I feel like I hopefully ski somewhere, but yeah, or
I'll go to a friend's house, Like, I just don't
like it to be I don't like the formality of that,
you know. I want it to be casual and I'm
going to do my own thing. But we do vacation
several times. I mean, we usually vacation over Christmas, like
for a long week, and then in the summer we'll
go to Martha's vineyard or something. Typically speaking, although in
(11:18):
the last couple of years, like I just said, I've
kind of taken ownership over.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
My holidays again.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
And I'm vacationing less with my family and more with myself.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
You said, now you're even preparing for your set, Like
for you, like what is the process of honing your
skill set as far as having fresh material for a comedian,
which I know, like especially when all of you are
choosing from the same subjects, like your take on where
we are now, Like how do you what's that whole
(11:48):
creative process?
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Like well, I think you know, for me personally, like
I've made a living by being myself. You know, I've
made a living off of my personality, which is not
something as a little kid even and knew I could do.
I didn't even know that was possible. You know, when
you do stand up, you're writing your own script. I
mean some people in may of writers, but still there,
Like it's so important. Whether it's me writing books, whether
(12:12):
it's me doing my podcast Dear Chelsea, or whether it's
me doing stand up. These are all self generative, right,
I'm all like they're all coming from me, And I
think that, you know, like I work really hard when
I work, and then I you know, don't work really hard.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
When I don't work, I go and vacation.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Really hard, and I experience really hard because I want
to have experiences to talk about. Like you have to
live a life to gain the material to write books.
You have to live a life to gain the material
to write a set.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I like, last year, I put out my my most
recent special on Netflix, and that means you start over
that you have to have a whole new hour of material.
So then you go into your life and you're like,
what haven't I talked about yet? What's happened in the
last year, you know, Just like I was telling you
about my family and my family vacations, like that's a
topic in my stand up, Like I started editing people
(13:05):
in my family. I'm like, listen, I didn't marry your wife.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
I'm not required to go.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
I've extended my generosity for twenty five years. I want
to go on vacation with your kids, bring me your kids,
but you.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Guys stay back.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Or I want to go on vacation with my siblings
and none of their spouses, you know. Like I'm actually
setting different a set of rules now because I just
don't feel like doing that anymore.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Like I'm a woman.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I pay for almost everything that my family does together,
and now I'm making the rules to fit what I desire,
and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Okay, So maybe a decade and a half ago, I
was in the beginning process of maybe maybe will they
or won't they dating a comedian and someone put something
in my ear and I couldn't get rid of it,
which is basically they were like, you know, you've better
(14:02):
not never mess up, or you'll be part of her.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Set, right, And I almost think.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
That I subconsciously sabotage the relationship so I could get
out of it. Do you find it hard to sort
of draw in people? And I don't mean like your
comedy circle or whoever your creative circle is, but do
they often have is that apprehension or are they slow
to come into your sphere for fear that they might
(14:30):
be the subject of your life, which is the stage.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I'm sure that that is something that lots of men
think about, if there's ever a chance of connecting with them.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
I'm sure many men are like, oh god, I've talked.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I've spoken publicly about almost every relationship I've had, not everyone,
because some people who are private, like, if you're not
a public figure, I try to leave you out of
it because it's not fair.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
But if you know, like I dated Joe Coy.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Who's also a median, so I've spoken about that publicly,
very limited. Nobody really knows why we broke up, but
you know, we were a very public relationship, so we
publicly broke up.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
But I didn't drag him.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
You know, I would have done that probably ten years ago,
but now I'm a little bit more mature, So I
try not to humiliate men because I know, a my
feeling is a lot of men are already turned off
by me and my bold personality and the fact that
I'm confident. That turns a lot of men off sadly,
you know, instead of men going, oh my god, that's
a woman who knows what she wants and is confident.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I often say that, like, you know, we'll say like, yeah,
I want to strong, will d d D D D
D da da da. But then in almost every situation,
the person that tells me that we'll have some sort
of buyers remorse later and I'm like, well, you got
to be honest with what you really want in relationship.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Because yeah, it looks good like what.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Paper, yeah, right, what you think you may not want
when it's put to the test. And it's real, Like,
you know, I'm an independent I don't really need a
lot from a guy.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
You actually have to be a great guy and we
have to have great chemistry for you to be in
my life.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I'm not like my standards are so high because I
really don't want to settle or have to for anything less.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
And you know that's not a threat, that's just my truth.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Like I've been through gross guys and idiots, Like I'm
not doing that again. I'm too secure and I'm totally
fine also being single. Like I'm not one of those
women who's on dating apps every night going, oh, I
got to hook up, I got to find somebody, I
got to go on dates.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I don't operate like that.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
So who's in your trusted circle then that you really trust,
like that knows where the bodies are buried?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Like what's the number?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
A number of people? Probably like five people. Okay, yeah,
but you know I'm.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Not like a private person. Obviously, I'm not precious about
my privacy. I'm a very public I've always been very public.
That's kind of part.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Of my deal.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
You know, there's not a lot of mystique here because
I'm always willing to talk about everything. So it's not
like I have a ton of secrets. You know, they're
out there. It's not like I have a ton of
like hidden stuff that only certain people know about.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, there's stuff that is in public.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
But as far as like bodies being buried, like I
would have already outed myself on.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
That, who's your first like life role model, like a
real life person that you know in your childhood, And
then I was going to say, who's your north star?
As far as creativity?
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yeah, Like, I think my sister was my hero, my
oldest sister, Timoe, when I was growing up, because she
kind of played the role of my second mother.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
She was my de facto mother. My parents were you know,
when you have six children, they're out to lunch.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
They were exhausted. My mom slept like a cat throughout
my whole childhood. I mean they would forget to pick
me up from school. I'd walk home, like in the
middle of a blizzard, and I'd walk home and my
dad would be sitting at the kitchen table reading the
New York Times.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I'm like, hello, hello.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Devin, and I just walked home and a in a snowstorm.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
So yeah, my sister was my hero.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Because she was kind of the one that mediated between
me and my father and my parents when our relationship
was more volatile as far as artists or creatives.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
You know, I grew up on The Cosby Show like
that was my show. I wanted to be part of
the family.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Like I considered myself to be a Huxtable. I wanted
Rudy and Vanessa to be my sister. I wanted to
fuck my brother, you know, not my real brother, but
my brother.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
On the show.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
And I love the idea that my father was a
guynecologist or an obgyn basically with those swinging kitchen doors
and those sitcoms in the way, it just felt like
the most idyllic childhood, right the Huxtables.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
To me, that was it.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
And then you know, we all know what happened with that,
So there you go for heroes.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I was going to say that watching Malcolm Jamal Warner vicariously,
I was him on that hill, right, And when he
passed away, I had to return to like dust off
my my my DVD player and break out the box
set and rewatch all eight seasons as a mournful process.
(19:21):
And I realized how much that show kind of pushed
me forward in life, you know, like I didn't know
that we could live like that, and so, yeah, it
is a hurtful process if you get betrayed on that level,
like how do you how do you even deal or
return to it?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
And so I was also also this is I've told
the story before, but maybe you haven't heard it. I
went to I was performing in Atlantic City doing stand
up and Bill Cosby was also performing in Atlantic City.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
The end of the story.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Okay, so this casino manager approaches me. I was doing
two nights. He was doing two nights. We were in
two different rooms.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
And he calls me.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I mean, we're performing in two different rooms. Obviously we
were staying in two different rooms. But the casino manager
approaches me. She's like, oh, Bill Cosby would like to
meet you. And I'm like twenty seven, twenty eight or no, no,
I was in my thirties because I was on Chelsea
Lately at the time.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And I was like, They're like, Bill Cosby wants to
meet you.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
He's you know, he wants you to come to his
hotel room at three pm. And I was like, oh
my god, are you kidding me? Bill Cosby knows who
I am? What And so I go up and I
brought the guy that was opening for me, who was
also on Chelsea Lately with me in one of the comics,
Chris Frangola. I had a security guard with me, and
I was like, guys, do you want to meet Bill Cosby?
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Knowing nothing, knowing just like the more the merrier. We
go up. We knock on the door and I'm like,
oh my god, Oh my god, mister Huxtable's coming like this.
He opens the door.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Bill Cosby opens the door and you know, you know,
he's got that great face, at least it used to
be great, and it was like, you know, that jello pudding.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Smile he had on his face. And he opens the
door and he's got this big smile and he doesn't
see the two guys that are standing next to me
because they were like to my right.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
And I jump into Bill Cosby's arms. I'm like, dad,
I'm home. Like That's how I greeted him. And he
was holding on to me, and I was holding on
to him. He held on a little bit longer than
I and then and then I said, and these are
my friends, Chris, and then my security guard and.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
His face dropped.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yes, and we go in, and we go in and
we sit and it's like, you know, he's got this
huge suite and we're sitting. We sit down and he's like,
who are these guys, blah blah. I'm like, oh, well,
this is Chris my opener. And he proceeds to go
in on Chris Frangola for opening for a woman and
telling him how he'll never be successful in comedy because
(21:48):
he's opening for a woman.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
And I was like, wait, what is this? Like I
thought we were being punked.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
I was like, is this a And then you know,
at a certain point, I had to stand up for
my friend because he was just dragging him. And I
finally went up and I'm like, you know what, I'm sorry,
We're out of here, Like we don't need to listen
to this.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
This isn't pleasant or fun.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Oh we got that serious?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, it was like it was really obnoxious.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
So we walk out and that feeling of you know,
you meet someone that you should you know, we couldn't
even speak to each other, the three of us.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
We walked down the hall out out of his room
and we're all just like, you know, speechless.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
So I'm very grateful that I had the enough intuition
to bring people with me.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I think what people don't know when they look at
your life as a goldfish or as a person that's
separate from their lives, is that you.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Haven't met that. It's easy.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Can I ask you what was your version of air
quote making it when you were ten years old? What
was your version of what you thought success was going
to be?
Speaker 4 (23:09):
First class? And like being flying first class at ten
years old? I went on my first flight and I
walked past the first class section and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa?
Who are these people right here? Like this looks like
my group? And my mother was like, keep walking, sweetheart,
that is not our group. That will never be our group.
We have six children. We will never be able to
(23:31):
afford to fly first class. And I was like, fuck
that shit. I'm like, the next time I fly, that's
where I'm sitting. And it took me about three years
of saving up babysitting money and lemonade stand money. But
when I took my next flight, I was thirteen years old,
and guess who sat in tuc while my family sat
all the way and coach, wait.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Did you do this independent of them as well.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yes, I went down the street.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
We had a neighbor who was a travel agent. I
bought my own first class ticket. It was something like
eighteen hundred dollars. It was like nineteen. It would have
been nineteen eighty eight because I was thirteen flying from
We're flying from Newark to LA. I had grandparents that
lived in LA and I bought my own first class ticket.
And I didn't tell anyone because I was flying with
(24:18):
my two brothers, Glenn and Roy, and I want I
could not wait to see the looks on their faces
when I sat down in my seat.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
I couldn't wait.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
And when I did, I stopped and I was like,
you know, thirteen years old, but acting like I was,
you know, forty.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I was like a businesswoman. I had a briefcase. I
was like in California, I had kidneys.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I had to dress up back then, correct, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah, well you didn't have to, but I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I was told you had to dress up. If you
said I had to wear suits until yeah, that.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Was like the SEVENTI yeah, I guess that was the
eighties two when people dressed up. But I sat down
in tuc My brothers thought I was joking. I put
my little briefcase in the over had been with my
little Barbie, you know, backpack and for my week in California,
we were going to Disneyland, and my brothers are like
looking at me, and I just showed them my ticket
and I was like, I'll see you counts at the
(25:12):
end of the flight, and then I went back to
coach where they belonged. And at one point my brother
came up to the first class like we were up
in the air for like an hour. You know, I'm
enjoying a glass of champagne because they don't know how
old I am. And my brother comes up to my
seat and he's like, you can't do that.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
You can't do that. I go, I can't do what
he goes.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
You can't fly first class without giving it to You
can't buy a first class ticket and not give it
to one of us or mom. And I'm like, are
you I go, what are you serious? Get the fuck
out of my face. I'm like, you're ten years older
than me. I'm thirteen, you're twenty three years old, and
I figured out how to do this before you did. No,
(25:52):
thank you, sir. And I'm like, I don't even know
how you got up in this section.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Go back to your robe.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Please behind the curtain.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Yeah, get back on the garden.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
What unfair rule was implemented in your childhood? Don't go
out past eleven?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
You know?
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
If this wasn't I don't know if this was unfair,
but I got caught. I got when my girlfriends and
I were like eight years old, we did what was
called the feeling, where you would basically masturbate but over
your clothes so everyone would call. You would just like
rub your vagina but over your genes. Actually, the thicker
(26:30):
the material, the better the traction, so you wanted more attraction,
so you would never actually touch your vagina directly, but
we would do it in school. We would use rulers.
We would just all be like, are you going to
get the feeling? During math class? Like whenever we could
try and hide it. So I got pretty confident about
getting the feeling. I'd go home and I'd lie down
in front of like an ottoman and kind of shade
(26:51):
my body so that I could, like, you know, just
watch General Hospital and masturbate the whole time. And then
my parents caught me, and I guess they had known
for some time that I was.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Doing it, but I thought it was unfair, and they.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Were like, you cannot masturbate in the living room anymore.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
They shamed you.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Yeah, yeah, totally shamed me because I was starting to
use appliances like spoons, like a wooden spoon or you know,
I would see a corner of a wall and I'd
go up to that. I was getting a little carried
away in truth. So they told me I couldn't masturbate
at home anymore, or.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
No in the living room.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
They're like, if you want to do that, save it
for the privacy of your own room. And I thought
that was unfair because I was just experimenting with my
body and finding out what my desires were.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Wow, this is not the answer I was expecting. Wow.
So no master being with our utensils or I know.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
And also I felt like keeping my clothes on was
the first step, you know, like, that's pretty respectful being.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yes, you're being respectful. Absolutely. Are there any mementos or
toys from your childhood that you've kept this entire time?
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Not toys, I would to say, but mementos, yes, like
you know, school pictures or family lots of family stuff,
like when you have such a big family, We had
like a lot of fun ridiculousness, you know, it was
always chaos. And we had this summer house in Martha's
Vineyard and so we have a lot of.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Fun up there.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
So yeah, Like and we always had dogs, like, we
always had a family dog. So I have a lot
of like memories from that and mementos like pictures of
my childhood dogs and stuff. But as far as like
actual mementos or toys, no, I don't think I'm not
like sentimental like that, Like I'm not somebody who saves
a lot of stuff. All I care about is anything
(28:39):
that's in writing, like a card or a photo. Those
are the things that mean the most to me.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Well, wait, you can't say that you're not sentimental, because
I would assume that for you. I mean you've written
seven books, correct, yes, seven books, and what you do
for a living is recalling the past. So I mean
there's a part of you that has to be somewhat sentimental.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Well, I mean sentimental it lends that that word kind
of means that you're holding onto the past in this
kind of Yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Well, it's just like you know, it's like I miss it.
You know, it's more of a reflective than it is sentimental,
Like it's more of a I mind it for material.
I mean, there are parts of it that I am
sentimental about, you know, like my brother who passed away.
Of course I'm sentimental about his stuff, and I do
have a couple of his things actually, But like I
(29:34):
find the word sentimental to mean, like, oh, I get
emotional when I think about things, Like a lot of
things are just references and reflections that I take with me,
and my past is so much a part of who
I am, Like I had to be salty to survive.
I had to have a big personality to be heard,
and so it's part of the fabric of who I am.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Can you tell me a story of the worst time
you ever got in trouble in your childhood?
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Oh? Well, I mean there were a couple. I once
had a party at my house.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
My dad was actually in the hospital, and I was
like perfect, and we have the house free. And I
was like in seventh grade and I had a huge
party at my house and everyone just started taking stuff
from my house, and the cops came.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Like people were.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Stealing stuff like pieces of furniture and then the cops came.
And when the cops came out, I was like, I'm
out of here too, and I left my own party
and went and hit at our elementary school in the
woods until they left, because I didn't want to get
in trouble.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
So you thought you could get her away with so
obviously you raised on like eighties, nineties teen movies, like
you thought you could get away with us.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, totally. I was like, Oh, if they don't see me,
then they can't prove I was there.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
And it's like, where are your parents? Did you? What
did your parents do for a living?
Speaker 4 (30:49):
My dad was a used car dealer and my mom
was like a home health care nurse, but she didn't work.
She only worked when my dad's business was doing pretty badly,
which was quite often because he was he was a
used car dealer, but he didn't have like a place
of business. He just sold cars out of our driveway.
So our driveway was like this big circular driveway covered
(31:10):
in these terrible geloppies, like there would be tire irons
and tires and everything was just strewn. It looked like
like the front yard of Sanford and Son.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
So they were sentiment.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
Well, my dad was I mean or he just couldn't
sell a car, depending on how you look.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
At it, got it.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
So wait, what happened when when you got found out?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Oh, I mean I got in trouble.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
I mean the police found me in the woods, like
we were all gathered there together. We had no experience
in like dodging the police or anything. Another embarrassing thing.
I got caught shoplifting at Sears. Remember Sears. I don't
know Sears still exists, maybe.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
But I got caught shoplifting.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
But bras and underwear. First of all, it's like a
home appliance store, so buying bras and underwear from Sears.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Is already off.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
And my girlfriend and I, Jill, got caught shoplifting and
then I had to go and that was really shameful,
Like my mom wouldn't even talk to me for a week.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
She was like, that is so gross that you went
and stole.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
And my dad had to take me to these shoplifting
classes where you had to get up and the father
was like, I am the father of a shoplifter.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
And then I had to go out.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
You had to take the photo in like the were
they hanging in the back?
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Yeah, And then I had to get up and be like,
I'm a shoplifter, and then you have to talk about
what you shoplifted. And mine was like a red bra
and underwear panty set. And I was in seventh grade.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
I mean, who's buying launcherie from Seers? Like none of
it made any sense at all.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Ah, Okay, what's the last thing that you cooked for yourself?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Oh? This is I did this the other night.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
I was staying with a girlfriend because my house is
under construction, So I was staying with a girlfriend and
she cooks, she can cook. I was staying with her
for about a month, and I wanted to not leave
until she taught me how to cook at least one thing.
I am terrible in the kitchen. I'm very bad with instructions.
If you'd give me the instructions, it's very hard for.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Me to follow through.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
So I wanted to cook chicken pacata, and we cooked
it together with her help.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
She did probably about seventy percent of the work.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
I did about thirty percent, and it's still tasted like garbage.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Got it? What restaurant would you fly across.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
The world for Kespatra March.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Is that that's.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
That's a restaurant in Mayorca in Day of Mayorca. I
have a house in Myorca and we go there. We
ride our bikes to this restaurant. It's up this huge
hill and then you ride down and it's right on
the water, so you're sitting on the Mediterranean while you
eat the most fresh fish and fried onion. They put
(33:52):
these little fried onion rings on everything that they serve,
so you get this beautiful like dorado fish or sea
bream or whatever you're into. And then they have these
crispy onion rings that they put everywhere, and then you
can jump off from your table into the sea and
it's this beautiful cave.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
I mean, it's just heaven on earth.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
I want to go to this.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Yeah, come anytime. I'm going for the month of October
quest You're welcome to join me.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
So you're big on vacations and break and self care, yeah,
I take it.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yes, Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
So I'm a person who is notoriously known for, you know,
filling up every second of the day with I don't
see it as work.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
It's a passion to me, but I was.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
You know, when you start dating, you you're forced to
go on vacations, and it was hard for me to
not work. Convince me why taking vacations are important.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Oh my god, I mean, listen, there's always a little work,
like I'm always always a little bit working, Like I need.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
To just decompress. I need My life is crazy, as
I'm sure yours is. All of our lives are crazy.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
It's just so important to get to a point where
you feel recharged, where you feel like where you can
just take your stress. Because first of all, you go
on vacation for a week, you don't start relaxing until
like the fifth or sixth.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Day, and then you're leaving the next day.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
That's why I go on vacation for a month, because
I take a first week to adjust, and then I
can actually chill out. I can read a book and concentrate.
I can go on a bike ride for two hours
without thinking about a million things.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Like.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
To me, vacation is letting your mind not run you.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
To me, vacation is like getting so relaxed that it
doesn't matter which way the wind blows. You might go
to dinner that night, you might just sit at home.
You might stay in bed all day and watch TV.
You might be out in the ocean all day. Like
to not have a plan and let see where the
day takes you. That's my idea of a vacation, to
not have anything regimented.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
What is your preferred month of not working?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
It could be any month.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
I mean, I like working during the summer because it's
gotten so hot, so it's like I don't enjoy that.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Being in the heat and vacation. But I love the
winter to ski.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
I go to Canada in the winter to do my skiing,
So I base myself out of Whistler, Canada for like
four months in the wintertime.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
That's also part vacation.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
I mean, I do my podcast from there, and I'll
be on tour from there. But it's just a different
kind of I like to change the channel a lot,
you know what I mean. I get bored being in
the same place. I find La to be a little
bit sleepy. I find New York to be much more stimulative.
And then I split my time between Spain and Canada.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
All right, So have you ever gotten lost in another country? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (36:49):
All the time.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
I got lost on a vespa in France for an
hour and a half in a bathing suit on a
freeway with eighteen wheelers driving by me because I couldn't
even follow direction. With my friends, We're all on vespos,
and I was like, just had my head in the clouds.
I was like, oh, I guess I'll make a left
here when no one else made a left and I
got on a major freeway. I was in beer Ritz, France,
(37:10):
and I got on a major freeway and could not
get off of it for miles and miles, and a
vespa only goes like forty five miles an hour at tops,
and these cars are blowing past me, beeping like, get
out of the lane, get out of the lane. So
I was a very dumb American on that trip. But
I get lost all the time. Quest I have no
sense of direction all right?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
When traveling? Are you a window or an out seat person?
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Doesn't really matter.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
I'll probably because I have to pee a lot, so
it's easier for me not to walk over anybody.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Okay, when all is said and done, what city would
you like to retire in?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Probably I mean somewhere. I'd probably like to live out
my last days in my Orca. Yeah, that's pretty much
in my happy magic place.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
What is it about it?
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
So I love to be on the water. I love
to hear water when I'm sleeping. I love to be
in the water. I love to sail. I just love
that whole vibe like outdoorsy. And the great thing about
my house in my Orca is it's got this huge
outdoor terrace, so it's like you kind of don't even
have to leave the house to feel like you're part
of Like there's this little port and all these shops
(38:24):
and restaurants and people are always walking back and forth.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
I'm bringing my dog this time so he can experience
like the magic of it.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
We got him a life jacket so we can go
into the Mediterranean and throw him off of a paddle
board or a catamaran, whatever we decide. But also New
York I think like in terms of you know, New
York is so stimulating that I think as you get older,
that really is the place to live, because you can't
really La is too sleepy to get older, you know
what I mean. I could die early here just from
(38:54):
being so lazy. When I come here, it's almost like
a rehab. Like I sleep a lot, I get healthy,
I work out all the time. New York I'm out
and about, you know, there's a lot more fomo there.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
What time do you normally go to bed?
Speaker 4 (39:08):
I go to bed pretty early in LA, Like I
go to bed around ten ten thirty in LA. I mean, listen,
this weekend, let's be honest. I went out to a
party and I got home at six am on Saturday morning.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
But that was an anomaly for me.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I usually don't do that, so that was really fun
because I hadn't done that in a long time.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
So you don't go as heavy as he used to
go in.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Your oh oh no no.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I like day partying, Like I like to go out
to a fun lunch. I'd like to go do something.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Early at night.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
It's kind of why I love ski culture, because you
get up early, you go skiing, you have a little
margarita juice boost at around eleven thirty in the morning,
then you have app ray around three thirty, and that
kind of counts as my dinner, and then I'm home
and bed by like eight o'clock, and I get up
in the morning and do it all again. So I
kind of like that lifestyle. But I mean there's a
(39:56):
lot of lifestyles I like.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Okay, So practical Advice twenty twenty is what I consider
to be. You know, we might be living through another
type of pandemic, a spiritual pandemic. But twenty twenty for
me was a crucial year of what I consider like
my BC eighty years in terms of I wasn't the
(40:31):
same person now than I was before then.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
So twenty twenty was a pivotal change for me.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
What was different for you in your life now post
twenty twenty that you're still implementing.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
I mean, I don't think anyone is really recovered from that.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
I mean I don't think you know, the work ethic
is not the same for a lot of people. People
don't want to go back to work. They didn't want
to go back to work for a while, so there's.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
That in the air.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
In general, there's a kind of malaise about working hard.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
So you're not as hustle based now as you were
before twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
No, I didn't impact me as much. Like I mean,
I grew up as a hustler. So I'm from New Jersey, Like,
you're not going to get that out of me. What city,
Livingstone and they it's by like Montclair, Like we's Caldwell. Okay, No,
but I mean I think just the reflection of so
many like whether it's gen Z or what you know,
(41:30):
millennials or their attitude from COVID. You kind of absorb it,
or you're constantly exposed to the fact that people liked
not going into work, people liked the virtual life, people
liked talking like this rather than being in person. I
would always choose to be in person with people. That's
just my preference. I feel like there's much more of
(41:50):
a connection. So but my life, my life has a change.
I mean, I would say I'm busier now than I
was before twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
That was, like, you know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (42:01):
Busier now without a talk show than I was when
I had a talk show, which doesn't really make a
lot of sense to me, but.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Somehow it's true. So I don't know.
Speaker 4 (42:12):
I mean, that whole pandemic, it just changed our country
and our like you know, it changed the whole world.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
But on a personal level, I don't feel so changed
by it. I felt more of an observer of it
rather than in the thick of it. I wasn't upset
by it.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
It didn't freak me out, I wasn't scared. I welcomed
the break quite frankly.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
I liked it. I read a lot of books, and
I took a lot of mushrooms. Same.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
All right, we're going to be friends, Chelsea. What book
would you say probably changed your life?
Speaker 2 (42:45):
What was a paradigm shift for you? Hmmm, or at
least the author that pushed you.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Yeah, letting Go.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
There's a book called Letting Go by David Hawkings that
I always talk about.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
That book. Have you read that.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Somebody was explaining to me, you know, like his enlightened,
like his number system that he has as far as
our vibration. Yes, okay, So someone was explaining that to
me and they sent me a clip and then the
next thing I know, I fell down a vicious rabbit
(43:21):
hole and damn near his So I'm reading his entire anthology,
if you will, and anything he's ever written I've read over.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Like him and Neville Goddard are my two go tos?
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Oh Okay, I don't know him. Nevill Goddard. I'll have
to look him up.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Well.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Number one, I'm working on a movie right now in
which the lead subject it's a documentary, but he believes
in metaphysics and you know, the idea of positive thinking, affirmations, breathing, meditation,
all those things, and so in order to understand that subject,
(44:03):
I had to at least I took about a year
off just to read all the metaphysical so between like
Joe Despenza and but David Hawkins to me is God
of them all.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
So yeah, yeah, it's fascinating stuff.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
It's fascinating to stuff to be like because it's scientific,
but you know, it doesn't get as much airtime because
it's not as easily measurable. You know what the ideas
that he's talking about, even though they are scientific and
they are measurable.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Do you find it hard to talk about this with
other people?
Speaker 4 (44:36):
Well, I mean I just frame it in the way
that energy is. You know, like you're going there's a
magnetic attraction. If you're going to put out positive energy,
that's usually what you're going to get back. If you
practice being positive, if you practice being upbeat, that becomes
infectious and contagious.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
If you're negative, that's what you attract.
Speaker 4 (44:55):
Like, I mean, how many times have we sat around
feeling sorry for ourselves or being negative and and then
you just draw more negativity towards you. So it is like,
it's it's pretty powerful to understand like the laws of attraction,
and to understand that you can like higher your frequency,
like you can get on a higher frequency, and the
higher your frequency is, the more good that comes your
(45:17):
way and the more people that you're able to positively impact.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
I find that to be just like the kind of
point of that.
Speaker 4 (45:24):
Whole book is to really let go of the negative,
like let things go, do not resist reality. Something doesn't
work out your way, that's okay, make a left you
know what I mean, that didn't work out. Don't sit
there and bemoan that it didn't work out over and
over and over again.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Move forward.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
So you're big on pivots.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
Yes, I'm big on pivots, all right.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
So how do you handle what I call the F word?
Speaker 2 (45:50):
I'm a reform perfectionist, and so for me, I would
take failure very hard, like obsessively reading every record review,
every show review, writing angry letters to you know you
want you know. And it took me maybe half a
(46:12):
decade like to finally not to let that go. But
for you, how do you so now when something doesn't work?
I almost I think I've convinced myself that when I
see the F work, failure is a gift because technically
it's it's a teachable lesson.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
But for you, how do you handle failure? Well in
the lightest way.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
You're a comedian, so sometimes every joke doesn't work, and
so how do you handle it in that sense? And
then I want to know, how do you handle a
major perceived failure?
Speaker 4 (46:50):
Yeah, I mean a joke not working is not a
huge failure. That's a part of the work. Like, that's
a part of trial and error, you know, that's my
job is to test things out, see if they work,
and then you know, let go of something if it
doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
As far as a failure.
Speaker 4 (47:03):
Like you know, trying to do something it not working, Yeah,
those hit they can hint a little harder. But it's
also like, you know, I just have this kind of philosophy.
You know, it's a bummer. You can be okay, you know,
bummed out for a day or two, but I'm not
going to get angry.
Speaker 3 (47:17):
I'm going to get motivated. I'm going to like, you know,
re pivot. I'm going to figure out what the next
thing is.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
Like you can't, you know, I just don't have the
patience or the time.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
To be in victim mode for too long. So if
something doesn't work out.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
First of all, most things, you know, I understand a
review is personal or feels personal, I should say, but
most of that shit isn't personal. Most of that shit
is about somebody else's bullshit. And like if someone doesn't
like me, or if I don't sell a project that
I'm going out to sell, it's like, Okay, well it
didn't work at the right time, that person doesn't like me,
(47:54):
or then look over where the light is, Like go
where the light is instead of focusing on the negative.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
So I just always try to practice that, you know.
I mean, I've had lots of failures, but that's part
of the process. You're not just going to be good
all the time.
Speaker 4 (48:09):
You know. Things can really irk me, Like if I
find out someone doesn't like me, I'm like, wait what,
I've never even met that person or I've never done
anything to that person. And you know, when I was younger,
I used to get a little bit upset about that.
You know, if someone would be like, oh, we don't
want her on the show, she's not for us, or
I would hear something like that, I'd be like.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
What, Like what do they think of me? You know?
But then you just kind of outgrow all of that.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
It's like that really has That's really not on me,
you know what I mean. I haven't done anything wrong
to hurt people, you know, like, I'm just doing my thing.
Either it's for you or it's not for you, that's fine.
If you don't like it, don't listen to it.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Kind of a dark question. Who would you want to
deliver your eulogy?
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Probably? Well, God, who would I want to delive for
my eulogy?
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I guess it would have to be someone who do
You would probably be my sister Simone. She wouldn't be
able to do it though, because she can't even give
me a birthday toast she gets too emotional. So I
would say either my sister Simone or my friend Michael
Tiberi and Dean Ward. They've been my writers for since
(49:23):
Chelsea Lately days, and they know me inside and out
and they know everything about me and my gardener. I
wouldn't mind him chiming in because he knows a lot
about me too.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
Do you believe in bucket list?
Speaker 2 (49:35):
And are there is there anything that you've not checked
off your bucket list for your life?
Speaker 3 (49:44):
I don't really believe in bucket lists. I'm not like that.
I'm not a planner. I don't have goals. I just
am like I kind of fly, just kind of fly
by the seat of my pants.
Speaker 4 (49:53):
Like you know, my plans change all the time, and
I always just kind of go with that. I don't
make huge plan I don't have like a five year
prospectus or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
But is there anything that? I mean?
Speaker 4 (50:05):
All I care about really is traveling and seeing as
much of the world as I possibly can and meeting
as many interesting people as I possibly can. Those are
the things I care about the most. I'm very into
people and I'm very into experience.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Okay, what's the best compliment you've ever received.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
That I'm a good listener?
Speaker 1 (50:27):
Really? Are you?
Speaker 3 (50:28):
Yeah? I am when I'm interesting.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Okay, it comes with the all right, okay, cool.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Comes with the caveat. You have to write to be
one of two things interesting, compelling or funny.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
My last question for you, what's more important to you?
Respect or love?
Speaker 3 (50:51):
Love? But I care about being respected, absolutely, it's close.
But love is obviously more important than respect.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, but love requires a certain amount of guard dropping.
I think as we get older, it's harder to drop
our guard.
Speaker 4 (51:05):
You know, yeah, maybe yeah, or it becomes easier depending
on you know, how self actualized you become as a
as a grown person. I think I was probably much
more guarded in my twenties than.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
I am now.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Okay, you know, at the end of every conversation I have,
I have to figure out what it is that I've
learned from you, and I will say that probably people
are always saying live in the present, and to me
that sounds like a good sound bite, and I'll be like, yeah, yeah, sure,
live in the present. But you know, I'm such a
meticulous planner. And of course I'm a meticulous planner because
(51:44):
of whatever trauma is in my rear view mirror in
the past makes me think, oh, I got to plan
my future out. And so for me, one of the
hardest things ever is living in the present. But more
than that, you're the first person that I've heard that
really makes not working sound appealing to me. Yeah, so
(52:09):
I might have to seriously take you on your offer.
I'm getting your information when we're done this taping, but
I will absolutely take you on your offer because I
just I need advice on I don't know where to
go or who to I mean, for a person that
did at least two hundred and fifty days, like I've
traveled the world at least fifteen times over as a musician.
(52:33):
But you know, I don't feel comfortable unless I am
doing a three hour show or DJing at night, So
like to go, nothing is like terrifying for me.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
So I think this kismet that we're.
Speaker 2 (52:48):
Talking right now because I need someone to convince.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Me of that. I thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
Text, Quest, I appreciate it for you.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Thank you so much, Chelse.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
The Quest Love Show is hosted by me Amir Quest
Love Thompson. The executive producers are Sean g Brian Calhoun,
and Me. Produced by Brittany Benjamin and Jake Paine.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Produced for iHeart by Noel Brown, Edited by Alex Convoy.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
iHeart Video support by Mark Canton, Logos Graphics and animation
by Nick Lowe. Additional support by Lance Coleman. Special thanks
to Kathy Brown. Special thanks to Sugar Steve Mandel. Please subscribe, rate, review,
and share The Quest Love Show wherever you stream your podcast, make.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
Sure you follow us on socials That's at q LS.
Check out hundreds and hundreds of QLs episodes, including The
Quest Love Supreme Shows and our podcast archives. Couslum Shows,
(54:06):
a production of iHeartRadio
Quest Love Show is a production of iHeartRadio. Hey What's up, Everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome to The Questlove Show, a new era and a
format for QLs. After close to a decade of award
winning podcast You Know and Love, I'm back with a
new idea after a lengthy hiatus having conversations with people
who always wanted to get to know on a deeper level.
This week I spoke with Chelsea Handler virtually. She was
(00:30):
at home in Los Angeles and I was in my
office at thirty Rock in New York City, the Red Room.
We know Chelsea as a comedian, television host, and a
seven time New York Times bestselling author, with her latest book,
I'll Have What She's Having out this year. Chelsea is
also part of the iHeart Podcast family.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
With her Dear Chelsea Show.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
This year, you can catch Chelsea Handler on her High
and Mighty tour along with her Las Vegas residency at
the Cosmopolity.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I was really happy to have her.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
On the sho as the launch of this QLs two
pointoero period.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
For me.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
This conversation you're gonna hear why Chelsea is present. She
lives in the moment, She loves vacations, She also prides
herself as a listener, which she was with some of
my questions. Chelsea is raw and unfiltered, and in this
conversation we discussed perhaps traveling together. Listening to Chelsea talk
about her favorite places. You know, sounds fun, liberating, and
(01:25):
grateful her work ethic. Like me, she wears many hats,
and this one was for me and Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Like a few QLs guests in the past, she was
opening to random questions and jumping around a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So I hope you liked this new approach for QLs
and let's get to it all right, enjoy.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Hey, Chelse, welcome to the quest Left Show. How are
you today? How's it going?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I'm good. I like the looks of where you are.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
It looks like it is a marijuana infuse dark room.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I am so not that person.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
I am.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, okay, So this is what I want to know.
What time did you wake up this morning?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Six twelve am?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Is that typically where your body clock sets off? Or yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Unfortunately I kind of would prefer to sleep a little
bit later, but like, I kind of need a good
two to three hours before things get going.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Just to decuntify.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Do you know what I mean like I'm a bitch
and I have to wake up.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I write in my gratitude journal that's now on my phone.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
So that's a lot easier than writing because I've lost
the I've lost the aptitude.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
For writing or the design. It hurts. So I do
my little gratitude.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I say everything I'm grateful for, even if you know
I'm not feeling great.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Then I meditate for twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I play with my dog, I let him out, and
I just slowly.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Come to you know what I mean. I need a
good two to three hour lead time to start. I
had everyone else to start my day.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
So yes, wherever I am in the world, typically I
wake up pretty early.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Okay, so that's what your first fifteen minutes. But what
I want to know.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Is, what was the last half hour of your last night,
of your day? Last night? What is the last half hour?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Huh? Last half hour?
Speaker 4 (03:24):
I went to this tech conference or like this kind
of tech gathering. So I came home from that pretty early.
I was home by like nine p thirty. I came
home from that, I got into bed, I put on
Charlie Sheen's documentary and then that's like background noise. So
I'm not really watching it, but I just kind of
liked the TV to lull me into sleep. And then
(03:45):
while that's happening, I'm checking my phone, returning my emails.
I'm doing a big stand up tour next year, so
I looked at my ticket accounts because it just went
on sale, so I peruse that.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Then I looked.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
At my emails, look at my day tomorrow, and then
I just put my eye shades on. I put my
rain machine on so that I have the thunderstorm going,
and then Charlie Sheen, and then usually about like ten
minutes of whatever background TV I have on. After I
put my eye shades on, I turn off, and then
(04:18):
I'm usually down.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Okay, I was going to ask, do you sleep with
the TV on or off?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
So off off, but I fall asleep with it on.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
I find it helpful to fall asleep, And I know
that's not Everyone will say that's a bad but I
don't really give a shit. I'm fifty years old. I
know what's best for me.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
During the uh what I'll say in air quotes the
first cycle, I used to always sleep to the news,
just to make sure that we are all in one piece.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
The next morning, right right.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
But then the more I started studying about how the
brain works and how the subconscious works, I realized that
sleeping the doom and gloom as I was sleeping was
making my day worse. So I actually started maybe turning
off the television maybe in yeah, three years ago.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Yeah, I mean, in general, it's probably a good privent,
like not to watch the news at all. I mean,
there's really nothing that we're gaining from watching that. Listening
to a podcast, a political podcast, I find is much
less damaging, especially while you're out and driving.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
There's something about.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Driving and listening to the news that is less damaging
to your system than actually just sitting on your couch
and watching the news.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
So the way that I take an information, for instance,
like if the Roots have a difficult song to master,
or if I have to do something that requires like memory,
I'll actually sleep to that loop, you know, like, oh yeah,
when you're in your sleepy, tired, THETA state, that's where
(05:53):
you retain. But I also believe that when you're driving,
that's the equivalent of sleeping, because you're still in your
subconscious state even though you're.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Aware in driving.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
But I tend to read a lot of audiobooks and
listen to podcasts while driving because I'll retain the information better.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I don't know why, but you know I love driving.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I love driving.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That is like my live in California.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Yeah, I live in LA. So there's a lot of
traffic here and that's the lamee.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
But it's so nice to know when I can leave
somewhere and it's like a forty five minute drive, not
sitting in traffic, but an actual forty five minute drive
Like that, I can go up to maulhalland and look
at the views and have a long ride with myself,
Like that's my kind of that's my vibe.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
People are often shocked that when I get to LA,
I want to drive myself. For me, especially you know,
when I'm testing music, Like I whenever an album was complete,
I would go up the Pacific Coast Highway and test
the material because for me, if it works on that drive,
then it works elsewhere. So it's it's a therapeutic thing
(07:02):
for me. But I never heard a person that lives
in California.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Like I thought I was the only one.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
People look at me like, wait, you like to drive,
And I thought I was the only one so I'm
glad to know that.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Yeah, I prefer I don'tfer I like, if I'm in
New York City, I prefer to be driven.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
If I'm in LA, I prefer to drive.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Okay, So how old were you when you realize you
had a gift? Be it charisma or organizational skills or.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
It's definitely not organizational skills. I've never realized anything about that.
In fact, I mean, yeah, don't.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
I don't have that.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I have no logistical expertise, no domesticity. I think I
realized I was precocious and that I got attention for that.
And I was the youngest of six children, so like,
to me, that was an avenue to get what I
wanted was to be kind of bold and brazen and
say the things that nobody would accept a little five
or six year old girl to say. And I got
(08:01):
rewarded a lot from my three brothers because they thought
it was so funny because I was obnoxious, and they'd
be like, go up and tell that guy that he's
an idiot, and I'd be like, no problem, and then
I'd go and tell them and they'd be laughing, you know,
like they made me do stuff like that all the time,
and I loved their reaction to that. So then that
became my commodity. Like I became that kind of personality
(08:22):
and I leaned into it pretty hard.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Six siblings, five siblings. I'm the youngest of six.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Can you rank them in order?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yes? I can.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Rank your siblings in order.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Chat Roy, Glad Simone and Shashana Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I don't mean by age, I mean by closeness.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Oh oh oh, sorry, I thought my brothers and sisters.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I'm like, fuck it, I hope so.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Or what skill set does each sibling have that you
admire the most? I won't make you okay.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Okay, Well, my brother, my oldest brother, not to be
a bummer, but he died when I was nine years old,
so he's out of the picture. But I still account
to him as my brother because obviously my brother, my
second oldest brother. Roy is a chef and he is
the biggest teddy bear in the world. He was the
chef on Chelsea Lately. He was the chef on my
Netflix show. He's the one you just always want around.
(09:16):
He's like a party favor. Roy is the sweetest, most
gentle man you know, Like we just all love him.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
My sisters and I are like, that's our teddy bear.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Then there's Glenn, my other brother, who's very intelligent but
also slightly misogynist and like he's married to a Russian
woman who's a real Putin sympathizer. So I have a
little of a bit of a challenging relationship with that
part of the family.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I spent my last twenty.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Five years going on vacation with my whole family, Like
I take a lot of pleasure and like taking my
whole family away. And after, like, you know, like four
years ago, I was like I'm wrapped. I was like,
I didn't marry this woman, Olga, you did you go
on vacation with her. I no longer want to finance
a vacation where I'm listening to Russian state propaganda, So
that relationships a little bit, you know, it's got some friction.
(10:04):
My sisters are Simone and Shashana, and my sister's a
healthcare attorney, and my other sister has her own ear
piercing company in New Jersey, and the.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Girls are always reyal tight.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Our whole family's pretty close and communicative.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
But like, you know, are you the family alpha? Yes,
you're the organizer.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Okay, so Thanksgiving time.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Who's Thanksgiving time?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Thanksgiving start for you.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Well, Thanksgiving time starts for me by telling my family
we're not celebrating together this year.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Leave me out of it.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I don't care about holidays. I don't care about Christmas.
I don't like being told when to celebrate general.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, I just I.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Find that all very annoying. Like I want to celebrate.
I want to have a life when I want to
have a life. I don't like when people are like, Okay,
today's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
I'm just not into it. Butgiving whatever the hell.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
I feel like I hopefully ski somewhere, but yeah, or
I'll go to a friend's house, Like, I just don't
like it to be I don't like the formality of that,
you know. I want it to be casual and I'm
going to do my own thing. But we do vacation
several times. I mean, we usually vacation over Christmas, like
for a long week, and then in the summer we'll
go to Martha's vineyard or something. Typically speaking, although in
(11:18):
the last couple of years, like I just said, I've
kind of taken ownership over.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
My holidays again.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
And I'm vacationing less with my family and more with myself.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
You said, now you're even preparing for your set, Like
for you, like what is the process of honing your
skill set as far as having fresh material for a comedian,
which I know, like especially when all of you are
choosing from the same subjects, like your take on where
we are now, Like how do you what's that whole
(11:48):
creative process?
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Like well, I think you know, for me personally, like
I've made a living by being myself. You know, I've
made a living off of my personality, which is not
something as a little kid even and knew I could do.
I didn't even know that was possible. You know, when
you do stand up, you're writing your own script. I
mean some people in may of writers, but still there,
Like it's so important. Whether it's me writing books, whether
(12:12):
it's me doing my podcast Dear Chelsea, or whether it's
me doing stand up. These are all self generative, right,
I'm all like they're all coming from me, And I
think that, you know, like I work really hard when
I work, and then I you know, don't work really hard.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
When I don't work, I go and vacation.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Really hard, and I experience really hard because I want
to have experiences to talk about. Like you have to
live a life to gain the material to write books.
You have to live a life to gain the material
to write a set.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I like, last year, I put out my my most
recent special on Netflix, and that means you start over
that you have to have a whole new hour of material.
So then you go into your life and you're like,
what haven't I talked about yet? What's happened in the
last year, you know, Just like I was telling you
about my family and my family vacations, like that's a
topic in my stand up, Like I started editing people
(13:05):
in my family. I'm like, listen, I didn't marry your wife.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
I'm not required to go.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
I've extended my generosity for twenty five years. I want
to go on vacation with your kids, bring me your kids,
but you.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Guys stay back.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Or I want to go on vacation with my siblings
and none of their spouses, you know. Like I'm actually
setting different a set of rules now because I just
don't feel like doing that anymore.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Like I'm a woman.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I pay for almost everything that my family does together,
and now I'm making the rules to fit what I desire,
and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Okay, So maybe a decade and a half ago, I
was in the beginning process of maybe maybe will they
or won't they dating a comedian and someone put something
in my ear and I couldn't get rid of it,
which is basically they were like, you know, you've better
(14:02):
not never mess up, or you'll be part of her.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Set, right, And I almost think.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
That I subconsciously sabotage the relationship so I could get
out of it. Do you find it hard to sort
of draw in people? And I don't mean like your
comedy circle or whoever your creative circle is, but do
they often have is that apprehension or are they slow
to come into your sphere for fear that they might
(14:30):
be the subject of your life, which is the stage.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I'm sure that that is something that lots of men
think about, if there's ever a chance of connecting with them.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
I'm sure many men are like, oh god, I've talked.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I've spoken publicly about almost every relationship I've had, not everyone,
because some people who are private, like, if you're not
a public figure, I try to leave you out of
it because it's not fair.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
But if you know, like I dated Joe Coy.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Who's also a median, so I've spoken about that publicly,
very limited. Nobody really knows why we broke up, but
you know, we were a very public relationship, so we
publicly broke up.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
But I didn't drag him.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
You know, I would have done that probably ten years ago,
but now I'm a little bit more mature, So I
try not to humiliate men because I know, a my
feeling is a lot of men are already turned off
by me and my bold personality and the fact that
I'm confident. That turns a lot of men off sadly,
you know, instead of men going, oh my god, that's
a woman who knows what she wants and is confident.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I often say that, like, you know, we'll say like, yeah,
I want to strong, will d d D D D
D da da da. But then in almost every situation,
the person that tells me that we'll have some sort
of buyers remorse later and I'm like, well, you got
to be honest with what you really want in relationship.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Because yeah, it looks good like what.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Paper, yeah, right, what you think you may not want
when it's put to the test. And it's real, Like,
you know, I'm an independent I don't really need a
lot from a guy.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
You actually have to be a great guy and we
have to have great chemistry for you to be in
my life.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I'm not like my standards are so high because I
really don't want to settle or have to for anything less.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
And you know that's not a threat, that's just my truth.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Like I've been through gross guys and idiots, Like I'm
not doing that again. I'm too secure and I'm totally
fine also being single. Like I'm not one of those
women who's on dating apps every night going, oh, I
got to hook up, I got to find somebody, I
got to go on dates.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I don't operate like that.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
So who's in your trusted circle then that you really trust,
like that knows where the bodies are buried?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Like what's the number?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
A number of people? Probably like five people. Okay, yeah,
but you know I'm.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Not like a private person. Obviously, I'm not precious about
my privacy. I'm a very public I've always been very public.
That's kind of part.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Of my deal.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
You know, there's not a lot of mystique here because
I'm always willing to talk about everything. So it's not
like I have a ton of secrets. You know, they're
out there. It's not like I have a ton of
like hidden stuff that only certain people know about.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, there's stuff that is in public.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
But as far as like bodies being buried, like I
would have already outed myself on.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
That, who's your first like life role model, like a
real life person that you know in your childhood, And
then I was going to say, who's your north star?
As far as creativity?
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yeah, Like, I think my sister was my hero, my
oldest sister, Timoe, when I was growing up, because she
kind of played the role of my second mother.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
She was my de facto mother. My parents were you know,
when you have six children, they're out to lunch.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
They were exhausted. My mom slept like a cat throughout
my whole childhood. I mean they would forget to pick
me up from school. I'd walk home, like in the
middle of a blizzard, and I'd walk home and my
dad would be sitting at the kitchen table reading the
New York Times.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I'm like, hello, hello.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Devin, and I just walked home and a in a snowstorm.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
So yeah, my sister was my hero.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Because she was kind of the one that mediated between
me and my father and my parents when our relationship
was more volatile as far as artists or creatives.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
You know, I grew up on The Cosby Show like
that was my show. I wanted to be part of
the family.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Like I considered myself to be a Huxtable. I wanted
Rudy and Vanessa to be my sister. I wanted to
fuck my brother, you know, not my real brother, but
my brother.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
On the show.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
And I love the idea that my father was a
guynecologist or an obgyn basically with those swinging kitchen doors
and those sitcoms in the way, it just felt like
the most idyllic childhood, right the Huxtables.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
To me, that was it.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
And then you know, we all know what happened with that,
So there you go for heroes.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I was going to say that watching Malcolm Jamal Warner vicariously,
I was him on that hill, right, And when he
passed away, I had to return to like dust off
my my my DVD player and break out the box
set and rewatch all eight seasons as a mournful process.
(19:21):
And I realized how much that show kind of pushed
me forward in life, you know, like I didn't know
that we could live like that, and so, yeah, it
is a hurtful process if you get betrayed on that level,
like how do you how do you even deal or
return to it?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
And so I was also also this is I've told
the story before, but maybe you haven't heard it. I
went to I was performing in Atlantic City doing stand
up and Bill Cosby was also performing in Atlantic City.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
The end of the story.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Okay, so this casino manager approaches me. I was doing
two nights. He was doing two nights. We were in
two different rooms.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
And he calls me.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I mean, we're performing in two different rooms. Obviously we
were staying in two different rooms. But the casino manager
approaches me. She's like, oh, Bill Cosby would like to
meet you. And I'm like twenty seven, twenty eight or no, no,
I was in my thirties because I was on Chelsea
Lately at the time.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And I was like, They're like, Bill Cosby wants to
meet you.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
He's you know, he wants you to come to his
hotel room at three pm. And I was like, oh
my god, are you kidding me? Bill Cosby knows who
I am? What And so I go up and I
brought the guy that was opening for me, who was
also on Chelsea Lately with me in one of the comics,
Chris Frangola. I had a security guard with me, and
I was like, guys, do you want to meet Bill Cosby?
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Knowing nothing, knowing just like the more the merrier. We
go up. We knock on the door and I'm like,
oh my god, Oh my god, mister Huxtable's coming like this.
He opens the door.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Bill Cosby opens the door and you know, you know,
he's got that great face, at least it used to
be great, and it was like, you know, that jello pudding.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Smile he had on his face. And he opens the
door and he's got this big smile and he doesn't
see the two guys that are standing next to me
because they were like to my right.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
And I jump into Bill Cosby's arms. I'm like, dad,
I'm home. Like That's how I greeted him. And he
was holding on to me, and I was holding on
to him. He held on a little bit longer than
I and then and then I said, and these are
my friends, Chris, and then my security guard and.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
His face dropped.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yes, and we go in, and we go in and
we sit and it's like, you know, he's got this
huge suite and we're sitting. We sit down and he's like,
who are these guys, blah blah. I'm like, oh, well,
this is Chris my opener. And he proceeds to go
in on Chris Frangola for opening for a woman and
telling him how he'll never be successful in comedy because
(21:48):
he's opening for a woman.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
And I was like, wait, what is this? Like I
thought we were being punked.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
I was like, is this a And then you know,
at a certain point, I had to stand up for
my friend because he was just dragging him. And I
finally went up and I'm like, you know what, I'm sorry,
We're out of here, Like we don't need to listen
to this.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
This isn't pleasant or fun.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Oh we got that serious?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, it was like it was really obnoxious.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
So we walk out and that feeling of you know,
you meet someone that you should you know, we couldn't
even speak to each other, the three of us.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
We walked down the hall out out of his room
and we're all just like, you know, speechless.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
So I'm very grateful that I had the enough intuition
to bring people with me.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I think what people don't know when they look at
your life as a goldfish or as a person that's
separate from their lives, is that you.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Haven't met that. It's easy.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Can I ask you what was your version of air
quote making it when you were ten years old? What
was your version of what you thought success was going
to be?
Speaker 4 (23:09):
First class? And like being flying first class at ten
years old? I went on my first flight and I
walked past the first class section and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa?
Who are these people right here? Like this looks like
my group? And my mother was like, keep walking, sweetheart,
that is not our group. That will never be our group.
We have six children. We will never be able to
(23:31):
afford to fly first class. And I was like, fuck
that shit. I'm like, the next time I fly, that's
where I'm sitting. And it took me about three years
of saving up babysitting money and lemonade stand money. But
when I took my next flight, I was thirteen years old,
and guess who sat in tuc while my family sat
all the way and coach, wait.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Did you do this independent of them as well.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yes, I went down the street.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
We had a neighbor who was a travel agent. I
bought my own first class ticket. It was something like
eighteen hundred dollars. It was like nineteen. It would have
been nineteen eighty eight because I was thirteen flying from
We're flying from Newark to LA. I had grandparents that
lived in LA and I bought my own first class ticket.
And I didn't tell anyone because I was flying with
(24:18):
my two brothers, Glenn and Roy, and I want I
could not wait to see the looks on their faces
when I sat down in my seat.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
I couldn't wait.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
And when I did, I stopped and I was like,
you know, thirteen years old, but acting like I was,
you know, forty.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I was like a businesswoman. I had a briefcase. I
was like in California, I had kidneys.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I had to dress up back then, correct, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah, well you didn't have to, but I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I was told you had to dress up. If you
said I had to wear suits until yeah, that.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Was like the SEVENTI yeah, I guess that was the
eighties two when people dressed up. But I sat down
in tuc My brothers thought I was joking. I put
my little briefcase in the over had been with my
little Barbie, you know, backpack and for my week in California,
we were going to Disneyland, and my brothers are like
looking at me, and I just showed them my ticket
and I was like, I'll see you counts at the
(25:12):
end of the flight, and then I went back to
coach where they belonged. And at one point my brother
came up to the first class like we were up
in the air for like an hour. You know, I'm
enjoying a glass of champagne because they don't know how
old I am. And my brother comes up to my
seat and he's like, you can't do that.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
You can't do that. I go, I can't do what
he goes.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
You can't fly first class without giving it to You
can't buy a first class ticket and not give it
to one of us or mom. And I'm like, are
you I go, what are you serious? Get the fuck
out of my face. I'm like, you're ten years older
than me. I'm thirteen, you're twenty three years old, and
I figured out how to do this before you did. No,
(25:52):
thank you, sir. And I'm like, I don't even know
how you got up in this section.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Go back to your robe.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Please behind the curtain.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Yeah, get back on the garden.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
What unfair rule was implemented in your childhood? Don't go
out past eleven?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
You know?
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
If this wasn't I don't know if this was unfair,
but I got caught. I got when my girlfriends and
I were like eight years old, we did what was
called the feeling, where you would basically masturbate but over
your clothes so everyone would call. You would just like
rub your vagina but over your genes. Actually, the thicker
(26:30):
the material, the better the traction, so you wanted more attraction,
so you would never actually touch your vagina directly, but
we would do it in school. We would use rulers.
We would just all be like, are you going to
get the feeling? During math class? Like whenever we could
try and hide it. So I got pretty confident about
getting the feeling. I'd go home and I'd lie down
in front of like an ottoman and kind of shade
(26:51):
my body so that I could, like, you know, just
watch General Hospital and masturbate the whole time. And then
my parents caught me, and I guess they had known
for some time that I was.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Doing it, but I thought it was unfair, and they.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Were like, you cannot masturbate in the living room anymore.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
They shamed you.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Yeah, yeah, totally shamed me because I was starting to
use appliances like spoons, like a wooden spoon or you know,
I would see a corner of a wall and I'd
go up to that. I was getting a little carried
away in truth. So they told me I couldn't masturbate
at home anymore, or.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
No in the living room.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
They're like, if you want to do that, save it
for the privacy of your own room. And I thought
that was unfair because I was just experimenting with my
body and finding out what my desires were.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Wow, this is not the answer I was expecting. Wow.
So no master being with our utensils or I know.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
And also I felt like keeping my clothes on was
the first step, you know, like, that's pretty respectful being.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yes, you're being respectful. Absolutely. Are there any mementos or
toys from your childhood that you've kept this entire time?
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Not toys, I would to say, but mementos, yes, like
you know, school pictures or family lots of family stuff,
like when you have such a big family, We had
like a lot of fun ridiculousness, you know, it was
always chaos. And we had this summer house in Martha's
Vineyard and so we have a lot of.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Fun up there.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
So yeah, Like and we always had dogs, like, we
always had a family dog. So I have a lot
of like memories from that and mementos like pictures of
my childhood dogs and stuff. But as far as like
actual mementos or toys, no, I don't think I'm not
like sentimental like that, Like I'm not somebody who saves
a lot of stuff. All I care about is anything
(28:39):
that's in writing, like a card or a photo. Those
are the things that mean the most to me.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Well, wait, you can't say that you're not sentimental, because
I would assume that for you. I mean you've written
seven books, correct, yes, seven books, and what you do
for a living is recalling the past. So I mean
there's a part of you that has to be somewhat sentimental.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Well, I mean sentimental it lends that that word kind
of means that you're holding onto the past in this
kind of Yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Well, it's just like you know, it's like I miss it.
You know, it's more of a reflective than it is sentimental,
Like it's more of a I mind it for material.
I mean, there are parts of it that I am
sentimental about, you know, like my brother who passed away.
Of course I'm sentimental about his stuff, and I do
have a couple of his things actually, But like I
(29:34):
find the word sentimental to mean, like, oh, I get
emotional when I think about things, Like a lot of
things are just references and reflections that I take with me,
and my past is so much a part of who
I am, Like I had to be salty to survive.
I had to have a big personality to be heard,
and so it's part of the fabric of who I am.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Can you tell me a story of the worst time
you ever got in trouble in your childhood?
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Oh? Well, I mean there were a couple. I once
had a party at my house.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
My dad was actually in the hospital, and I was
like perfect, and we have the house free. And I
was like in seventh grade and I had a huge
party at my house and everyone just started taking stuff
from my house, and the cops came.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Like people were.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Stealing stuff like pieces of furniture and then the cops came.
And when the cops came out, I was like, I'm
out of here too, and I left my own party
and went and hit at our elementary school in the
woods until they left, because I didn't want to get
in trouble.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
So you thought you could get her away with so
obviously you raised on like eighties, nineties teen movies, like
you thought you could get away with us.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, totally. I was like, Oh, if they don't see me,
then they can't prove I was there.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
And it's like, where are your parents? Did you? What
did your parents do for a living?
Speaker 4 (30:49):
My dad was a used car dealer and my mom
was like a home health care nurse, but she didn't work.
She only worked when my dad's business was doing pretty badly,
which was quite often because he was he was a
used car dealer, but he didn't have like a place
of business. He just sold cars out of our driveway.
So our driveway was like this big circular driveway covered
(31:10):
in these terrible geloppies, like there would be tire irons
and tires and everything was just strewn. It looked like
like the front yard of Sanford and Son.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
So they were sentiment.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
Well, my dad was I mean or he just couldn't
sell a car, depending on how you look.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
At it, got it.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
So wait, what happened when when you got found out?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Oh, I mean I got in trouble.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
I mean the police found me in the woods, like
we were all gathered there together. We had no experience
in like dodging the police or anything. Another embarrassing thing.
I got caught shoplifting at Sears. Remember Sears. I don't
know Sears still exists, maybe.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
But I got caught shoplifting.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
But bras and underwear. First of all, it's like a
home appliance store, so buying bras and underwear from Sears.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Is already off.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
And my girlfriend and I, Jill, got caught shoplifting and
then I had to go and that was really shameful,
Like my mom wouldn't even talk to me for a week.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
She was like, that is so gross that you went
and stole.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
And my dad had to take me to these shoplifting
classes where you had to get up and the father
was like, I am the father of a shoplifter.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
And then I had to go out.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
You had to take the photo in like the were
they hanging in the back?
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Yeah, And then I had to get up and be like,
I'm a shoplifter, and then you have to talk about
what you shoplifted. And mine was like a red bra
and underwear panty set. And I was in seventh grade.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
I mean, who's buying launcherie from Seers? Like none of
it made any sense at all.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Ah, Okay, what's the last thing that you cooked for yourself?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Oh? This is I did this the other night.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
I was staying with a girlfriend because my house is
under construction, So I was staying with a girlfriend and
she cooks, she can cook. I was staying with her
for about a month, and I wanted to not leave
until she taught me how to cook at least one thing.
I am terrible in the kitchen. I'm very bad with instructions.
If you'd give me the instructions, it's very hard for.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Me to follow through.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
So I wanted to cook chicken pacata, and we cooked
it together with her help.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
She did probably about seventy percent of the work.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
I did about thirty percent, and it's still tasted like garbage.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Got it? What restaurant would you fly across.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
The world for Kespatra March.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Is that that's.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
That's a restaurant in Mayorca in Day of Mayorca. I
have a house in Myorca and we go there. We
ride our bikes to this restaurant. It's up this huge
hill and then you ride down and it's right on
the water, so you're sitting on the Mediterranean while you
eat the most fresh fish and fried onion. They put
(33:52):
these little fried onion rings on everything that they serve,
so you get this beautiful like dorado fish or sea
bream or whatever you're into. And then they have these
crispy onion rings that they put everywhere, and then you
can jump off from your table into the sea and
it's this beautiful cave.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
I mean, it's just heaven on earth.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
I want to go to this.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Yeah, come anytime. I'm going for the month of October
quest You're welcome to join me.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
So you're big on vacations and break and self care, yeah,
I take it.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yes, Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
So I'm a person who is notoriously known for, you know,
filling up every second of the day with I don't
see it as work.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
It's a passion to me, but I was.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
You know, when you start dating, you you're forced to
go on vacations, and it was hard for me to
not work. Convince me why taking vacations are important.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Oh my god, I mean, listen, there's always a little work,
like I'm always always a little bit working, Like I need.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
To just decompress. I need My life is crazy, as
I'm sure yours is. All of our lives are crazy.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
It's just so important to get to a point where
you feel recharged, where you feel like where you can
just take your stress. Because first of all, you go
on vacation for a week, you don't start relaxing until
like the fifth or sixth.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Day, and then you're leaving the next day.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
That's why I go on vacation for a month, because
I take a first week to adjust, and then I
can actually chill out. I can read a book and concentrate.
I can go on a bike ride for two hours
without thinking about a million things.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Like.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
To me, vacation is letting your mind not run you.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
To me, vacation is like getting so relaxed that it
doesn't matter which way the wind blows. You might go
to dinner that night, you might just sit at home.
You might stay in bed all day and watch TV.
You might be out in the ocean all day. Like
to not have a plan and let see where the
day takes you. That's my idea of a vacation, to
not have anything regimented.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
What is your preferred month of not working?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
It could be any month.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
I mean, I like working during the summer because it's
gotten so hot, so it's like I don't enjoy that.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Being in the heat and vacation. But I love the
winter to ski.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
I go to Canada in the winter to do my skiing,
So I base myself out of Whistler, Canada for like
four months in the wintertime.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
That's also part vacation.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
I mean, I do my podcast from there, and I'll
be on tour from there. But it's just a different
kind of I like to change the channel a lot,
you know what I mean. I get bored being in
the same place. I find La to be a little
bit sleepy. I find New York to be much more stimulative.
And then I split my time between Spain and Canada.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
All right, So have you ever gotten lost in another country? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (36:49):
All the time.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
I got lost on a vespa in France for an
hour and a half in a bathing suit on a
freeway with eighteen wheelers driving by me because I couldn't
even follow direction. With my friends, We're all on vespos,
and I was like, just had my head in the clouds.
I was like, oh, I guess I'll make a left
here when no one else made a left and I
got on a major freeway. I was in beer Ritz, France,
(37:10):
and I got on a major freeway and could not
get off of it for miles and miles, and a
vespa only goes like forty five miles an hour at tops,
and these cars are blowing past me, beeping like, get
out of the lane, get out of the lane. So
I was a very dumb American on that trip. But
I get lost all the time. Quest I have no
sense of direction all right?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
When traveling? Are you a window or an out seat person?
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Doesn't really matter.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
I'll probably because I have to pee a lot, so
it's easier for me not to walk over anybody.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Okay, when all is said and done, what city would
you like to retire in?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Probably I mean somewhere. I'd probably like to live out
my last days in my Orca. Yeah, that's pretty much
in my happy magic place.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
What is it about it?
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
So I love to be on the water. I love
to hear water when I'm sleeping. I love to be
in the water. I love to sail. I just love
that whole vibe like outdoorsy. And the great thing about
my house in my Orca is it's got this huge
outdoor terrace, so it's like you kind of don't even
have to leave the house to feel like you're part
of Like there's this little port and all these shops
(38:24):
and restaurants and people are always walking back and forth.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
I'm bringing my dog this time so he can experience
like the magic of it.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
We got him a life jacket so we can go
into the Mediterranean and throw him off of a paddle
board or a catamaran, whatever we decide. But also New
York I think like in terms of you know, New
York is so stimulating that I think as you get older,
that really is the place to live, because you can't
really La is too sleepy to get older, you know
what I mean. I could die early here just from
(38:54):
being so lazy. When I come here, it's almost like
a rehab. Like I sleep a lot, I get healthy,
I work out all the time. New York I'm out
and about, you know, there's a lot more fomo there.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
What time do you normally go to bed?
Speaker 4 (39:08):
I go to bed pretty early in LA, Like I
go to bed around ten ten thirty in LA. I mean, listen,
this weekend, let's be honest. I went out to a
party and I got home at six am on Saturday morning.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
But that was an anomaly for me.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I usually don't do that, so that was really fun
because I hadn't done that in a long time.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
So you don't go as heavy as he used to
go in.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Your oh oh no no.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I like day partying, Like I like to go out
to a fun lunch. I'd like to go do something.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Early at night.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
It's kind of why I love ski culture, because you
get up early, you go skiing, you have a little
margarita juice boost at around eleven thirty in the morning,
then you have app ray around three thirty, and that
kind of counts as my dinner, and then I'm home
and bed by like eight o'clock, and I get up
in the morning and do it all again. So I
kind of like that lifestyle. But I mean there's a
(39:56):
lot of lifestyles I like.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Okay, So practical Advice twenty twenty is what I consider
to be. You know, we might be living through another
type of pandemic, a spiritual pandemic. But twenty twenty for
me was a crucial year of what I consider like
my BC eighty years in terms of I wasn't the
(40:31):
same person now than I was before then.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
So twenty twenty was a pivotal change for me.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
What was different for you in your life now post
twenty twenty that you're still implementing.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
I mean, I don't think anyone is really recovered from that.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
I mean I don't think you know, the work ethic
is not the same for a lot of people. People
don't want to go back to work. They didn't want
to go back to work for a while, so there's.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
That in the air.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
In general, there's a kind of malaise about working hard.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
So you're not as hustle based now as you were
before twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
No, I didn't impact me as much. Like I mean,
I grew up as a hustler. So I'm from New Jersey, Like,
you're not going to get that out of me. What city,
Livingstone and they it's by like Montclair, Like we's Caldwell. Okay, No,
but I mean I think just the reflection of so
many like whether it's gen Z or what you know,
(41:30):
millennials or their attitude from COVID. You kind of absorb it,
or you're constantly exposed to the fact that people liked
not going into work, people liked the virtual life, people
liked talking like this rather than being in person. I
would always choose to be in person with people. That's
just my preference. I feel like there's much more of
(41:50):
a connection. So but my life, my life has a change.
I mean, I would say I'm busier now than I
was before twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
That was, like, you know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (42:01):
Busier now without a talk show than I was when
I had a talk show, which doesn't really make a
lot of sense to me, but.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Somehow it's true. So I don't know.
Speaker 4 (42:12):
I mean, that whole pandemic, it just changed our country
and our like you know, it changed the whole world.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
But on a personal level, I don't feel so changed
by it. I felt more of an observer of it
rather than in the thick of it. I wasn't upset
by it.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
It didn't freak me out, I wasn't scared. I welcomed
the break quite frankly.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
I liked it. I read a lot of books, and
I took a lot of mushrooms. Same.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
All right, we're going to be friends, Chelsea. What book
would you say probably changed your life?
Speaker 2 (42:45):
What was a paradigm shift for you? Hmmm, or at
least the author that pushed you.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Yeah, letting Go.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
There's a book called Letting Go by David Hawkings that
I always talk about.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
That book. Have you read that.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Somebody was explaining to me, you know, like his enlightened,
like his number system that he has as far as
our vibration. Yes, okay, So someone was explaining that to
me and they sent me a clip and then the
next thing I know, I fell down a vicious rabbit
(43:21):
hole and damn near his So I'm reading his entire anthology,
if you will, and anything he's ever written I've read over.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Like him and Neville Goddard are my two go tos?
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Oh Okay, I don't know him. Nevill Goddard. I'll have
to look him up.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Well.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Number one, I'm working on a movie right now in
which the lead subject it's a documentary, but he believes
in metaphysics and you know, the idea of positive thinking, affirmations, breathing, meditation,
all those things, and so in order to understand that subject,
(44:03):
I had to at least I took about a year
off just to read all the metaphysical so between like
Joe Despenza and but David Hawkins to me is God
of them all.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
So yeah, yeah, it's fascinating stuff.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
It's fascinating to stuff to be like because it's scientific,
but you know, it doesn't get as much airtime because
it's not as easily measurable. You know what the ideas
that he's talking about, even though they are scientific and
they are measurable.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Do you find it hard to talk about this with
other people?
Speaker 4 (44:36):
Well, I mean I just frame it in the way
that energy is. You know, like you're going there's a
magnetic attraction. If you're going to put out positive energy,
that's usually what you're going to get back. If you
practice being positive, if you practice being upbeat, that becomes
infectious and contagious.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
If you're negative, that's what you attract.
Speaker 4 (44:55):
Like, I mean, how many times have we sat around
feeling sorry for ourselves or being negative and and then
you just draw more negativity towards you. So it is like,
it's it's pretty powerful to understand like the laws of attraction,
and to understand that you can like higher your frequency,
like you can get on a higher frequency, and the
higher your frequency is, the more good that comes your
(45:17):
way and the more people that you're able to positively impact.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
I find that to be just like the kind of
point of that.
Speaker 4 (45:24):
Whole book is to really let go of the negative,
like let things go, do not resist reality. Something doesn't
work out your way, that's okay, make a left you
know what I mean, that didn't work out. Don't sit
there and bemoan that it didn't work out over and
over and over again.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Move forward.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
So you're big on pivots.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
Yes, I'm big on pivots, all right.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
So how do you handle what I call the F word?
Speaker 2 (45:50):
I'm a reform perfectionist, and so for me, I would
take failure very hard, like obsessively reading every record review,
every show review, writing angry letters to you know you
want you know. And it took me maybe half a
(46:12):
decade like to finally not to let that go. But
for you, how do you so now when something doesn't work?
I almost I think I've convinced myself that when I
see the F work, failure is a gift because technically
it's it's a teachable lesson.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
But for you, how do you handle failure? Well in
the lightest way.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
You're a comedian, so sometimes every joke doesn't work, and
so how do you handle it in that sense? And
then I want to know, how do you handle a
major perceived failure?
Speaker 4 (46:50):
Yeah, I mean a joke not working is not a
huge failure. That's a part of the work. Like, that's
a part of trial and error, you know, that's my
job is to test things out, see if they work,
and then you know, let go of something if it
doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
As far as a failure.
Speaker 4 (47:03):
Like you know, trying to do something it not working, Yeah,
those hit they can hint a little harder. But it's
also like, you know, I just have this kind of philosophy.
You know, it's a bummer. You can be okay, you know,
bummed out for a day or two, but I'm not
going to get angry.
Speaker 3 (47:17):
I'm going to get motivated. I'm going to like, you know,
re pivot. I'm going to figure out what the next
thing is.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
Like you can't, you know, I just don't have the
patience or the time.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
To be in victim mode for too long. So if
something doesn't work out.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
First of all, most things, you know, I understand a
review is personal or feels personal, I should say, but
most of that shit isn't personal. Most of that shit
is about somebody else's bullshit. And like if someone doesn't
like me, or if I don't sell a project that
I'm going out to sell, it's like, Okay, well it
didn't work at the right time, that person doesn't like me,
(47:54):
or then look over where the light is, Like go
where the light is instead of focusing on the negative.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
So I just always try to practice that, you know.
I mean, I've had lots of failures, but that's part
of the process. You're not just going to be good
all the time.
Speaker 4 (48:09):
You know. Things can really irk me, Like if I
find out someone doesn't like me, I'm like, wait what,
I've never even met that person or I've never done
anything to that person. And you know, when I was younger,
I used to get a little bit upset about that.
You know, if someone would be like, oh, we don't
want her on the show, she's not for us, or
I would hear something like that, I'd be like.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
What, Like what do they think of me? You know?
But then you just kind of outgrow all of that.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
It's like that really has That's really not on me,
you know what I mean. I haven't done anything wrong
to hurt people, you know, like, I'm just doing my thing.
Either it's for you or it's not for you, that's fine.
If you don't like it, don't listen to it.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Kind of a dark question. Who would you want to
deliver your eulogy?
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Probably? Well, God, who would I want to delive for
my eulogy?
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I guess it would have to be someone who do
You would probably be my sister Simone. She wouldn't be
able to do it though, because she can't even give
me a birthday toast she gets too emotional. So I
would say either my sister Simone or my friend Michael
Tiberi and Dean Ward. They've been my writers for since
(49:23):
Chelsea Lately days, and they know me inside and out
and they know everything about me and my gardener. I
wouldn't mind him chiming in because he knows a lot
about me too.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
Do you believe in bucket list?
Speaker 2 (49:35):
And are there is there anything that you've not checked
off your bucket list for your life?
Speaker 3 (49:44):
I don't really believe in bucket lists. I'm not like that.
I'm not a planner. I don't have goals. I just
am like I kind of fly, just kind of fly
by the seat of my pants.
Speaker 4 (49:53):
Like you know, my plans change all the time, and
I always just kind of go with that. I don't
make huge plan I don't have like a five year
prospectus or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
But is there anything that? I mean?
Speaker 4 (50:05):
All I care about really is traveling and seeing as
much of the world as I possibly can and meeting
as many interesting people as I possibly can. Those are
the things I care about the most. I'm very into
people and I'm very into experience.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Okay, what's the best compliment you've ever received.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
That I'm a good listener?
Speaker 1 (50:27):
Really? Are you?
Speaker 3 (50:28):
Yeah? I am when I'm interesting.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Okay, it comes with the all right, okay, cool.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Comes with the caveat. You have to write to be
one of two things interesting, compelling or funny.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
My last question for you, what's more important to you?
Respect or love?
Speaker 3 (50:51):
Love? But I care about being respected, absolutely, it's close.
But love is obviously more important than respect.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, but love requires a certain amount of guard dropping.
I think as we get older, it's harder to drop
our guard.
Speaker 4 (51:05):
You know, yeah, maybe yeah, or it becomes easier depending
on you know, how self actualized you become as a
as a grown person. I think I was probably much
more guarded in my twenties than.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
I am now.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Okay, you know, at the end of every conversation I have,
I have to figure out what it is that I've
learned from you, and I will say that probably people
are always saying live in the present, and to me
that sounds like a good sound bite, and I'll be like, yeah, yeah, sure,
live in the present. But you know, I'm such a
meticulous planner. And of course I'm a meticulous planner because
(51:44):
of whatever trauma is in my rear view mirror in
the past makes me think, oh, I got to plan
my future out. And so for me, one of the
hardest things ever is living in the present. But more
than that, you're the first person that I've heard that
really makes not working sound appealing to me. Yeah, so
(52:09):
I might have to seriously take you on your offer.
I'm getting your information when we're done this taping, but
I will absolutely take you on your offer because I
just I need advice on I don't know where to
go or who to I mean, for a person that
did at least two hundred and fifty days, like I've
traveled the world at least fifteen times over as a musician.
(52:33):
But you know, I don't feel comfortable unless I am
doing a three hour show or DJing at night, So
like to go, nothing is like terrifying for me.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
So I think this kismet that we're.
Speaker 2 (52:48):
Talking right now because I need someone to convince.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Me of that. I thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
Text, Quest, I appreciate it for you.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Thank you so much, Chelse.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
The Quest Love Show is hosted by me Amir Quest
Love Thompson. The executive producers are Sean g Brian Calhoun,
and Me. Produced by Brittany Benjamin and Jake Paine.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Produced for iHeart by Noel Brown, Edited by Alex Convoy.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
iHeart Video support by Mark Canton, Logos Graphics and animation
by Nick Lowe. Additional support by Lance Coleman. Special thanks
to Kathy Brown. Special thanks to Sugar Steve Mandel. Please subscribe, rate, review,
and share The Quest Love Show wherever you stream your podcast, make.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
Sure you follow us on socials That's at q LS.
Check out hundreds and hundreds of QLs episodes, including The
Quest Love Supreme Shows and our podcast archives. Couslum Shows,
(54:06):
a production of iHeartRadio
Hosts And Creators
Laiya St. Clair
Questlove
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