September 10, 2025 • 51 mins
We're swiped out! This week we discuss the rage that ensues from the ghosting, lack of commitment and soft lying we’re experiencing with online dating. Find out our hard passes when it comes to dating and why Tara will never meet you for a coffee date and why it’s a caffeinated yes for Friendy Wende.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I am tired of hearing I guess bye bye, I'm
tired of hearing I just heard this today.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
But when men are saying that they are upset that
they're being told to act like women, yeah, fucking welcome
to the club. Do you know how many times I
would be so rich if I got paid every time
I heard someone, including women, like men and women both
do this and say what like say, well, what would
a man do? Act like a man? If you went
(00:28):
to that meeting? What would a man do.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Like I'd be like, fuck off, I don't know, I
don't have a dick. I still am great at my job.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, but that happens all the time. Women are being
told like hey, like, hey, you know what you want
to get up? You know, make your way in the world.
Act like a man and for five seconds and look.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I get to like a woman or act like a
man woman, because okay, men are upset and it's like,
I see you, Scott Galloway.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I get what you're saying. I know that the gender
should not be warring with each other. But I'm just
a little bit of acknowledgment of the fact that we've
been living with this shit for centuries.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Well, here's the thing. It's impossible for men to do that. Okay,
they can't do it. Women are just better at multitasking, organizing,
talking to people in a just a standard nice way,
and even if something makes them mad, it's like, I
feel like women are more in control. That's impossible for
a man, but it is very possible, I believe, for
(01:25):
a woman to go, I'm gonna step up, all right,
fucking you want, you want fucking some male energy, I'll
give it to you.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I'll give it to you.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I mean I already kind of like have a little
more of a you know, but yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
My point is, is that a little acknowledgment of that.
And yeah, we're not saying to be like women. We're
just saying to like, every once in a while, ask
a question and maybe listen.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Fuck. Yeah, that is why we're here. We're on the
freaking Rage Pod where we rage against everything.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
We rage against all things serene and everything in between.
That's right. Yeah, I'm here with Tara Erickson.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And I'm here with e Barr. We are going to
chat about online dating and dating rage. It's gonna be
a lot of fun. I know a lot about it.
But before that, E Barr wants to tease us with
the old cunt of the week.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Just in case you didn't know, courageous.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Unapologetic, notorious, ten of a woman.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, I got a really great woman for us today. Okay,
I have a great cunt for us today. She's been
someone that I've just been like thinking about. I remember
listening to her on another podcast and I was like,
she's fucking cool as shit and she's doing some really
important work even though she shouldn't have to. But yeah,
(03:04):
that's my little teas for it.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
It's gonna be like a good old Christmas present when
you really when you land it there with the con
of the week with.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Us, it's gonna be like, you know, PBS rip buddy,
is this a hard pass for you? And also we
want friendy Wendy to time into Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
But I also want to make it clear I am
only on the apps because Tara made me. I am
doing this against my will.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
She did. I championed her making you do it.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
She did, and I snuck in there a sexy pick.
She's in a robe, sunglasses in the sauna or something,
and after she realizes it's on there, She's like, oh
my god, I never would have posted that, And I'm like,
I know, I don't people to.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Know I have a sauna.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, I don't want people to know also that I'm hot.
Like her boobs were kind of out there. They were
a little.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Bit you could see cleavage.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It is my most liked photo.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Do you see how I'm bringing The matching is on fire.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
People's hands are sore for swiping on. Yeah. Man, Okay,
so what are your three fuck offs? What are your
three hard passes with online dating?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Okay, when they don't offer, well, actually they don't have
to offer, But if they ask me out and I
arrive and we get a drink and he doesn't even
offer to buy me a drink, although I'm like, you
invited me here, Yeah, that to me is upsetting. I
don't need him to buy me that drink. It's just
(04:38):
one little respect thing. Because you know what else I'll do.
I'll pull out my wall, I'll go, oh, thank you
so much, I'll get the next one. That is what
I do. But if you don't break in offer, then
I'm like, I don't ah, it just seems a little odd.
And I know that might seem like antiquated, but I'm like, hey,
you inviting me out here like too a little like.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I mean, yeah, like you said it was he was
hosting you on a night out.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
And the other thing is like when they don't show
up looking like they're pictures like they are bald, they
have short hair in the picture, they're chubby, and I'm like,
there's nothing wrong with any of those things. I love
a good big old teddy bear. Do not lie about it.
If you're looking like you're one hundred pounds and then
I show up and you're two hundred pounds, I'm like,
(05:22):
you don't feel confident with yourself because you're absolutely lying
in every freaking picture. And I don't know how you
feel good about showing up, I mean walking in the
door and you're don't look like how.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
You are right? You want people to lean in. It's
about the truth, right. Sexy comes in so many different packages.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I agree with that. And the last thing is if
I get there and they don't ask any questions, or
if it's like one question at the top, like how
is your day, and then I talk and I'm jamming,
and then they don't like they're they don't follow it
up with anything, I'm like, I down that drink and
I'm gonna get in the hell out.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
There, put the pedal to the metal, windows down and
you know it, fuck out, baby, let's go, Hey, can
you did the lights and turn that up? I was
gonna say one quick thing before I get Freddy Wendy's
hard passes against Shout out to Scott Galloway, who look
I'm giving a thumbs up to on the pain thing.
You know what he says, if we accept the premise
that men in general benefit more from relationships with women
(06:26):
than vice versa, men in general benefit from dating more
than women do, that men should pick up the tab.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, I mean at least for the first time. And
then I'm like, I'm still a girl. That's not going
to be like you pay for everything always. I'm like, no,
I've been living on my own paying all my bills
for the last twenty years. Like, fuck off, I don't
need that. But like, at least for the first date.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You can figure it out at least for the first date,
or you better be cooking me dinner, figuring something that's right.
You better be I don't know, knitting me a sweater.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, I would love that.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I would pay for dinner if they brought me a
cited sweater.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
If your knitter out there, send it on over. We'll
get a pl box soon. Yeah, they'll send us.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
An Okay, so we got Tara's hard passes. Not offering
to pay, being completely different from their photo is a
sign of a lack of confidence in themselves and not
asking any questions. Yeah, which is a hard pass for
me in any conversation. Wendy, what are your hard passes?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Okay, my hard passes are endless texting, but no date
ever gets planned. I don't need a pen pal when
they're too sexual right off the bat, it's just an
immediate no. And then also for me, if anyone is maga,
it's a quick swipe to the left.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
See I wish I was single. I would want nothing
but Mega, that's all.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I would just.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Want a rotating carousel of MAGA. That would be a
great time.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Justin case you didn't realize that's Erica being sarcastics, AF,
I was just gonna say I might have helped you
with people being too sexual right off the bat, because
that I set up the profile that in the robe
cleavage is out. She's got cross legs showing off the legs,
(08:23):
she's got a smile on, sunglasses, eyes down.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
It's a whole vibe in a sana sauna. I mean, steamy, steamy, steamy.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
So I just want to say I apologize for that,
but don't take down that picture.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I'm like, shit, I'm gonna change it.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
No you're not. No, you're freaking not.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
You're not. And by the way, that's all they you
know what I mean saying. If they see that photo
and that's all they think about, like they're just like
fucking sex, well, then like, yeah, they're stupid. They're stupid.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I agree, because you should. It's it's more like, oh wow,
that girl's got a vibe, like she can be cute
and business and sexy and sassy and whatever else, Like.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
She's not afraid to own or hot.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
You know, yeah, exactly. Those guys are stupid. That's the
ones that get the little two six you brought off
to be Anyway, Okay, we got to get into the
rage hotline. Yeah no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
No, you've reached the rage hotline. Please leave us a message.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
The most rage inducing thing is the ghosting. One of
the many things that are infuriating me right now, MS,
I'm gay's gay guys on there they're saying they're not political,
they're moderates. Like, what the fuck it.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Wrong with these people? Don't connect with me? If you're
Polly and I've said i want a monogamous relationship and
I'm looking for a real connection. Read the profile.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
As a tall girly the amount of time that I
go on the date, and then they're like, oh, I
didn't realize you were tall, Well it is right there
on my profile and you can just kind of see
them realize, you know, oh, I actually am an insecure,
little baby bitch.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Any man who's actually interested in seeing you again is
a knock to let you pay the first date.
Speaker 6 (10:02):
When the fuck did we decide that dating was going
to be an interview? Because dating is supposed to be fun.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
So if you are with somebody who is not asking
you questions, that means that that person is not really
into you.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
I want to hear your shark tank elevator pitch right now.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
We had so many texts and voice memos and dms
about this topic, specifically.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Let's go so online dating is pretty much a nightmare
right now. I don't think it's been much worse, and
I've been doing it for like fifteen years or something
like that. Anyway, I would say the most rage inducing
thing is the ghosting. I know everyone's kind of used
to it, but it's extremely frustrating because you'll have these
(10:48):
what you think are great connections with someone, and you
go back and forth, back and forth and share all
these messages and then you possibly talk about meeting up,
et cetera. Uh And I had a guy recently who
turns out works two blocks from where I work, and
after a month of saying let's meet for coffee, let's
(11:10):
meet for coffee, it was getting down to the wire
of like, okay, are we meeting or not? And then
he kind of disappeared for a week. And then he
wrote me and he's like, I'm so sorry, it's been
really busy time, but I'm gonna be in the office
Monday through Wednesday this week. Would you like to meet
up for a coffee finally? And I was like, yeah, no, worries, absolutely,
(11:31):
I'm around on Tuesday and Wednesday, so just let me
know what time works. And I never heard from him again.
So this is what people are dealing with.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Oh god, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. What a
waste of freaking time?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Don't convenient right?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Like two blocks away? Didn't that piss you off?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I would be at least even if you decided like
you don't like or you start dating someone else, tell
him freaking truth, text here and say I already met someone.
I actually don't have time because you know what, you
should be fucking scared that bitch is two blocks away
and that you're not gonna run into her.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I would I.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Probably go up there and just be like, yo, dude, Like,
is ghosting still a fucking thing? We're how old?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Oh my god, it's it's all over the fucking place.
It doesn't matter, the generation doesn't matter. The I agree
part of this on like a macro level, I think
is like the dating app situation is just a mirror
for how dehumanized forgetting and the digital divide. Right, It's
it's so much easier to ghost someone when you're just
texting them versus like if you met somebody, you've seen them, like,
(12:39):
you've interacted with them face to face totally. There's a
better chance that you would have a degree of guilt
for doing that.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I agree. I even if I don't meet up with
the person, but we match on hine. We have a
little bit of combo, but I'm like, maybe not really
into it. I will always say, hey, man, I don't
think we'll be able to meet up. I'm so I'm
not really like catching the vibe. It's awkward, it's weird,
but I do it out of respect for the person
to move the fuck on and not waste your freaking time.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
It's a gift.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
That is a gift, thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But I think people are become so inward from having
relationships with their screens that the fear factor is so high.
Whether it's I can't meet I'm seeing someone, I feel unconfident.
I don't think I can actually go through with it
and meet this girl for a coffee.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't want to meet them. Then, if you can't
be matching on hinge and you're absolutely so terrified that
you're like I can't meet in person, I'm like, you
not in the match for me. Yeah. My best friends
Lara and Mitra, they got together during the pandemic. They
she would not agree to meet her in person for
(13:51):
like weeks and weeks and weeks because she was very honest.
She's like, I've been very guarded. I live with my parents,
YadA YadA. Their relationship is much different now they were
in a house together. But my point being like she
was that person, but she met Lara. And finally, because
I told Lara, I want you to send her an
ultimatum if she doesn't meet you in person, because you're
(14:15):
dealing with a girl who's now like I don't go
out much. I like staying at home. Like that's not you.
So give her an ultimatum and I wrote it for
I was like, if you can't meet up, then like
we got to end this. It's like a waste of time.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
All right, here's a voice memo from Alex.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
I love putting my dating profile together. I love picking
out the pictures, making sure I have references to pop
culture or experiences I had that are great conversation openers,
or getting my sense of humor across, as well as
being really clear about what I'm looking for and what
I'm open to. And the lack of time, care, thought,
(14:51):
and effort people put in men put into their dating
profiles made me so frustrated, because how am I supposed
to get to know you if you're not showing me.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Who you are.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
You're just a dud. And by the way, don't connect
with me if you're Polly And I've said i want
a monogamous relationship and I'm looking for a real connection.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Read the profile. Fuck yeah, dude, there are so many
out there, and you know what, I just write them.
I'm like, hey, you don't really have anything written, so
I can't really ask you any questions, So like, what's
the deal. I'll see the lack of commitment and just
go Even if they're cute, left it.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That screams I'm not going to ask you one question
if we do go out.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I recently talked to a guy who said when I
asked it, I was like, why would someone go out
on a date and not ask one question? And his
answer was, well, I don't think that anyone's going out
on a date like with the intention of I'm not
going to ask this girl any questions. But he's like,
but I think what happens is like maybe they're worried
about where their elbows are, like if they're on the
(15:57):
table or not, or if I said that last thing weird,
or am I laughing weird?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Are they a teenager? Are they eight years old.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well, I think there's a lot of emotional stunting that's happened.
It's the fucking internet and chat ept and online dating apps.
Dating right now is like the worst and like there's
a lot of research to show that and dating apps. Look,
it was a it was a money making endeavor.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, so are we.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Super surprised it's meant to like churn and burn, right, Yeah, Okay.
The idea that we can monetize something that so many
generations we're told is like, hey, it's this thing that happens,
and you have chemistry with people and you have connections
that could build to something to then reduce it down
(16:45):
to a dating app. Just even in the design of it.
Dating apps are all about write a response to the
convenience culture mm hmm, convenience economy, right, And so I
just think we have gotten to an inflection point where
people are so used to the endless scrolling versus having
(17:06):
to be in the moment because you met somebody in person, right,
having to like, you know, gut check, like, oh I
really like this person, and I want to take the
risk to go over and talk to them, and then
in talking to them, I really like them. I want
to take the next step to ask them out on
a date.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
That requires some intention, That requires some thought. It's not
hard to scroll through.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
A dating app, right, No, not at all.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
And I think that from what I was reading is
that people are at the highest level of disenchantment with
dating apps. But then you have this whole younger generation
that's grown up in this like digital world. You add
in the pandemic, and they don't have as many skills,
interpersonal skills. It's kind of a terrible storm of factors.
(17:57):
It's leading to people being very you know, disconnected.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah. What I will say, just popping back, is that
when I was setting up Wendy's profile, she was like,
can we just be done? Can I just write two things?
She was one of those I'm through so just so
you know, and I was like, absolutely not. We are
writing in each freaking prompt otherwise it's gonna be a
freaking disaster. Because what you want right out top is
(18:22):
it that person goes, do they have a personality, what
is their life about? How do we match up? Because
I'll tell you if they don't smoke weed, it's not
gonna be a good match for Herndy. So the first thing.
I went weed and wine. Let's freaking go.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
And it's alliterative. Yep, yeah, double whammy weed, wine and Wendy.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
That's what I should have written, Aircade, wine and Wendy.
Where were you?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Either you're a teenager and you have too much oil
or you're reaching menopause and all you want.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Is oil because you lose it as you age.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
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Speaker 2 (18:57):
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Speaker 1 (19:09):
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There's a lot of studies people are not having sex
although friends, what do you mean? Let me know that
there is a study that gen X women are having sex,
but like people are having less sex than ever right now?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Why?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Because everyone's fucking alone at home.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Everyone's ghosting each other.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Everyone's ghosting each other. I was on their fucking computer.
Everyone's doing the scroll on the dating app, but they're
not taking it to the next level.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
This is why people are poly because they're like, I'm
not having much sex over here, so like now I
can go on a date maybe juice it. Everyone knows
that they're all open.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Maybe, but then it's like what is that just makes
it like again it's a convenience thing. Yeah. Absolutely, So
if that person then also wants to find a like
a longer lasting connection, good for luck.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Well let us know in the comments real quick. We're
gonna get onto the next DM. If you are not
having sex and think you would like to have more,
we want to know.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
All right. This is our buddy Joe who slid into
our DMS and he said, sometimes I also feel like
women just want to be taken out for free drinks.
I've had a few experiences where they've suggested we meet
out a bar, but I've told them that I don't
drink or go to bars, and I would suggest some
other ideas and then it would become an interrogation of
why I don't drink, and then they would just stop
(20:30):
responding to me.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
That's freaking weird. I'll tell you what. It's very easy
to check if someone drinks or not, and if they don't,
I just go nope. Because it's not gonna be a
good match, or if I find out later, I'm like, oh,
that's fine. If he doesn't like going to a bar,
I would never be like, well why not in an act?
You don't even freaking know this person, Dude, Like, back off,
(20:53):
Just say Okay, I like going to bars, it's probably
not gonna be a match, and move the freak on.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I think number one, loud and clear, we need to
stop fucking shaming people for not drinking. I'm with you, dude, like,
and this is someone who loves her bubbles, you know, yeah, Like,
don't fucking like if that's their healthy lifestyle, that's what
they need to do to be happy. Like what am
I have it? What's going on with you that you
need to be like three sheets to the wind every
(21:17):
time you interact with another human being?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Right, I'll always just say I'm like, oh, that's cool.
I'm like, I really do like going to bars and restaurants.
Would that bother you? If if I do have a
drink and most of the time they say no, and
I'm like, and I'll double check because my aunt's been
sober for forty one years, I'll say, cool, are you? How?
Where are you on your sober journey. Are you sober
you just choose not to drink?
Speaker 1 (21:40):
You're sober curious?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, And if they're in the first two years, I'm like,
it's not gonna I'm not gonna do that. You should
wait probably about three years before you start dating someone
who drinks alcohol. I'm all, I'm just like, very aware
of all that, and I ask all the questions. And
that's what I think people should learn, and don't try
to force them or ask them someone you never met,
(22:01):
why don't you drink?
Speaker 5 (22:02):
What?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I'm like, I match live, I.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Let it go. This has suddenly become about you, right
like I heard that's asking all those questions.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Ew And to Joe's point about feeling like women just
want to be taken out for drinks, here is Ellen's
hot take.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
There was a time in my thirties when I went
on over one hundred and fifty first dates. And to
expect all these guys to pay for you is kind
of expecting a lot. With that in mind, I always
used to at least offer to split the bill, but
I have found that if they take you up on it,
then they are not interested. You will not hear from
(22:41):
them again.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Period.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Any man who's actually interested in seeing you again is
not going to let you pay on the first date
because he's wanting to make an impression.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I probably agree with that.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
This feels like one of those bluffing games, though, like
you're supposed to offer, but then if they take you
up on it, that they're telling you that they're not interested.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's honestly very true, because what I will do if
I go on a date and I'm like, oh God,
I'm not vibing with this person at all. When the
check comes, I'm like, oh, we can split it, and
I just all put down my car because I'm like,
I don't want to be like dependent on you, of
being like, well I butt her a drink, I'm like, nope,
I'll pay for my own. Shit. Bye, It's been a
minute since I've been on a date, don't I know it?
(23:24):
That's eleven year relationship with twins.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Look at her go yeah, so I'm definitely the authority here.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
We have a text from Alison and it says one
of the most frustrating things is when men only want
to text. It feels like they enjoy the attention but
have zero intention of ever meeting up or moving things forward.
It happens way too often, and honestly, it's exhausting. And
this is her hot take. New York City is way
better than LA because in New York the guys make plans.
(23:54):
All the guys I've matched with have wanted to make
plans instantaneously, except for a few that are just still texting.
But that's New Yorkers for you. It's their personality.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh for sure, I lived in New York. The issue
with New Yorkers is that, like the benefit of the
honesty can also be like the pain point of the honesty,
right right, get to the point it's like, we're not
here to fuck around, or we are here to fuck around,
and that's a good thing totally, But I would prefer
that if I was dating.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh yeah, absolutely, that's That's like the guys that i've
matched with that go it's a few sentences and I'm like, cool,
I'm not on here to write novels for days. I'll
say it straight up because I don't have the time.
And I'm like, I'd prefer to meet up and they go, yeah, cool,
how about Saturday? And they're like, I'll make reservations and
I'm like, hell, yeah, already wet.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
That's how low the bar is. Yeah, that's how easy
it is. Guys just make a plan and make a reservation,
set a date. It's so easy.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah it is. And I just feel like maybe people
weren't or guys or even girls going on dates. I mean,
I still see it, Like Lara does that for her girlfriend.
She's like, it's fine, baby, I I already got us
a reservation. It's gonna be a fun night. But I
feel like the guys in general, maybe they're not like
taught that. I don't know. I will make reservations for
(25:13):
my friends to go, oh, we're gonna meet here, and
then I'll go on the thing and be like, just
in case, make it Rezi.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think this gets back to what we were talking
about with Ellen. I think a lot of these guys
are just like struggling to get a few words out.
They're just struggling to be in there and be like,
all right, does so we're texting, Oh shit, now she
wants to go to coffee.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Fuck.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
If a guy actually gets to the point and says
I'm gonna make a plan, which apparently that's tough for
him because it's a small percentage. It's a toughie where
they suggest if that's a hard pass or not for you.
So if they suggest like I eat, hey, let's go
grab coffee, not really.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I love a coffee date. I'm in for a coffee date.
I want in and out. I want to buy to
see if I want to see them again and if not,
it's an easy escape. I like a low effort first date.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I like that too, but I want it with a drink.
I'm gonna say because I go, it makes it more
fun if it's a real snooze at least I have
alcoholic system drop it by.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
It's just funny because you say you want it to
be like low effort, right, like you want to be easy.
But for some people, like the idea of coffee is
a lot of effort. That's like, oh, we're gonna sit down,
we're gonna have a conversation where it's not gonna be loud,
it's gonna be focused. So I feel like I could
see that, like for you being like whoa, whoa, that's
(26:40):
a level of commitment out of the gates, like I
need I can't do that yet.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, absolutely, I'm like I don't even freaking know you, dude,
Like I need a drink, let me just like, let
me just vibe in like a dark bar and like
it'll make you look better and me too. And then
if we don't like you, like I gotta really like
you to go for coffee. I don't even go to
coffee with my friends.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Are you freaking nine that time? And it's like to
not working to eliminate dim lighting, background noise, you know,
right the place, like going to a place that you
would love to just go and socialize at anyway, You're
not going to coffee shops?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
God no, yeah, good No, it's not the vibe. It's
like you got people business people are having business meetings.
What is two pm? No? Thanks, not for a day?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Not me, She's not doing.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I'm total opposite where I don't want to give up
a Thursday night. I actually canceled with somebody for tomorrow
because after I went back through his profile, I was like,
I don't want to give up a Sunday, Like literally,
like when I look at these profiles, I'm like, do
I want to leave the house for this person?
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Right? No?
Speaker 3 (27:49):
And if I am going to leave the house for someone,
I'd rather be a quick trip to the coffee place
than give them a Thursday night.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
For some people, coffee is like I'm serious.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
No, coffee is like I am fucking busy and I
am fitting you in. This is a drive by date
for me to get a vibe, check to see if
I want to see you.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
But see, that could be drive by date, drive park
drinked totally.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
But I think also for me, I'm trying not to
drink as much.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, there we have it. I do like the I'm
just constantly trying to drink more. You know, just get
it in, exetize your way through life. Just ivy it in.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
See, I want both. I want the energy of the coffee.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I espressor Martini. Girl, I got your back. Let's freaking
out both worlds.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
But yeah, no, but I mean that totally makes sense.
I just think it's interesting. It's like almost it's like
lifestyle choices. Someone suggests you go to Universal Studios, you
go to an amusement park.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Fucked absolutely not knew it.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Hell fucking yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Tara's like, I'm ready to get married.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah, let's go man, Disney Uni. I'm not going to
six Flags, am, I'm not going to not the two
Uni Disney LFG.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Wendy's like gross, Tara's like, we're getting hitched.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
What what about the library?
Speaker 2 (29:12):
What do you mean? What about the library?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
If a guy was like, Hey, there's a library in
my neighborhood. Let's I thought it would be cool for
us to meet there.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
No, you pose this differently the other night.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
How did I pose that?
Speaker 3 (29:22):
You posed it as, Hey, there's really beautiful grounds at
the Santa Monica Library. Do you want to meet there?
Not in the fucking stacks of books?
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Well, okay, I shouldn't be focusing on the books at
the library. If a guy was like, there's this beautiful
library in my neighborhood. There's a park outside. You know,
dogs get gathered there a lot. I thought it'd be cool.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
To grab a coffee, and I'm in the library, I'm
in absolutely not. Do I want shit on my ass
if we go outside and sit the park, or even
if we go inside the library and you're like, let's
look at the architecture. No, oh, I'm dying inside. Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
If anybody asked me to go to beautiful grounds on
a library, I would be so thrilled. I think that
would be such.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
A thrilled oh my god.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
You know why, because it's they're thinking and putting in
some fun they've thought, they've had a thought.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah I don't just just don't think I wrote it
right there. Just like we go get a drink if
we vibe cool. If we don't, we move on.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
See. I think when guys particularly suggest like not going
to a bar or a restaurant that has a bar.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
They like it more they like.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I think it's usually a guy that's like in a
different place in his life and he's like, I'm tired
of the of like the churn and burn of the
bar scene, and I want to like meet someone that
I could maybe really connect with more than just for
like one night thing.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
I also think it's they just want to save money.
Like I am not joking. A guy goes, we can
walk around the music or like Lakma, and I'm like,
you trying to save money?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Have you seen the prices?
Speaker 2 (31:05):
No, I mean outside. They're not taking me to the restaurant.
They'll literally be like a week and walk around. They're
not buying anything for you. They're like we can walk
around and look at things and then hug and goodbye. See.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I like that. I like that idea, you could pack
a little picnic, bring a.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Bottle of wine. They're not doing that.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Well, I don't mind that, And I actually don't mind
if somebody is on a budget, Like I understand that too,
and I appreciate them being creative. Yeah, coming up with
something different. That doesn't mean they're going to have to
spend one hundred bucks, like.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
If it's a picnic and they put in effort. But
I think of like a while ago, I've been on
a date and it was just like we walked around
somewhere and then he was like, Okay, it was nice
meeting bye, and I was like, I'm not doing this again.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Like nope, Tara doesn't walk unless she's paid to walk
your dog.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
She's not walking. She's not going to dog parks, she's
not going to museums. God forbid. You asked to go
to the fucking library. She's not doing it.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
No, no, no, but she is fucking going to the bar. Okay.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
So we got to get onto swipe or no swipe too.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Each one of us is gonna read a dating profile
and then I'm gonna ask you. We'll ask each other
questions about it. So Erica, you go first, and be
aware that we change the names. There's no specifics with
any any person. This could be anyone writing it, so like,
don't stress, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Don't worry. We have a lawyer. Number one name Jason,
age fifty seven. Relationship style, still figuring out my dating goals? Ugh, okay.
And then here is a prompt by Jason, who's still
figuring out his relationship goals I'm looking for. And then
this is how Jason answers a long term relationship but
(32:49):
open to short interested in monogamy, non monogamy, and still
figuring out my relationship type. Let's not pressure ourselves and
in assuming predefined constructs, we get to decide what works
best for us. Oh wow, Jason, Jason, Jason definitely not
interested Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
No, he's all over, but he doesn't know what he
wants and still figure out my dating goals. Gives him
an out so that if he dates you and likes you,
maybe gets like you make out the second date or something,
he can be like I told you, I'm still figuring
out so I don't know which is fine as long
as you're honest about it. But I find that there's
(33:31):
a lot of guys who are not honest about it
so that they can get juiced. You know.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
My response this is Jason wants to fuck.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Everybody.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah. Yeah, don't say interested in monogamy and non monogamy. Right,
it's like saying like, oh, I am interested in stake
but also being a vegetarian, Like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Yeah, It's like he's leaving it open so that he'll
match with open relationships, poly people, monogamous women, all that stuff.
He's just leaving the door wide open for anyone to
come in. Basically, he'll just stick his dick in a watermelon.
He don't care.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Yeah, this just sounds like this is like a philosophy class.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I feel he's a little manipulating too. Yeah. Where it's like,
do you really feel that? Are you really that confused? Yeah?
Like I don't think so. I think you really thought
about wording it the right way.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Also, you're almost fucking sixty.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Thank you don't include me in your ramble when you
say let's not pressure ourselves. I didn't sign up for that.
Don't make this a wee. Don't make it a wee.
This is a hu Jason, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
I agree, all right, I got one So his name
is Mark, he's forty two. His relationship style is monogamous.
The prompt was I'm overly competitive about he answered, trivia nights,
especially if it involves nineties pop culture. If you can
name the Fresh Prince theme by heart, we're already a team.
(34:58):
He also wrote, we'll get along if you laugh at
puns and bad jokes, enjoy long walks with sarcastic commentary,
and don't mind that I absolutely peek during brunch. Wow,
I have fifty to fifty custody of my eleven year
old daughter and try to spend as much time with
her as possible.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Immediately swiping right.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
What was it was the peaking at brunch?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yea, yep, that's all funny. That's a funny.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Also, I love somebody who is a involved father and
somebody who puts their children first. I think that's something
that's very important to me. And he just seems like
a cutie.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Well, we like that he's being honest, right, Like the
fifty to fifty custody is like again what we were
talking about earlier.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Like people hide that shit on dating profile. They won't,
they won't show any pictures of their kids. They won't
say that they have kids, and then you meet them
and they're like so they'll say something about their kid
and I'm like, what you didn't say? I need to
know that, Like Hiller, I don't know. It's a little
if he for me. I'm not really into trivia, but
(36:02):
I am in a brunch. Well he's just saying I
absolutely peak at brunch. You're like, that's relationship talk. Like
if I was to go to brunch with him later on,
he'd be like this, that's rage. That means that this
man's asleep at six pm. Yeah, I love it. I'm down.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
All right, I got one for you. This guy's name
is Cameron, aged forty five. His relationship style is monogamous.
The prompt says, first date. The answer is, I don't
do coffee, but I'll do a walk on the beach
and land at a bar. Tara, this is your boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I don't want to drive to Santa Monica.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
I think that is a really big point. I got
asked on a date last week in the location with
Santa Monica, and I was like, absolutely fucking not, Nope, nope,
not getting on a freeway to.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
See I don't even I'll tell him I don't even
know how we matched. You live by the beach, I
gotta go.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
You know what this is though, This is all fucking
convenience culture. Nobody wants to inconvence themselves. Right. Well, also
like gas, I mean, I get it if you haven't
met the person. But I'm just saying, like from a
bigger perspective, that's what's going on with me. I like
just like like we want it, but like that's not
how connections work, right, They're not always convenient. You gotta
(37:16):
put time in. Well, they could do it all right.
I got one. Okay. His name's Johnny, He's thirty two
years old. His relationship style is open. His prompt is
what I'm looking for. Well, what he's looking for is
I love a good conversationalist, but I hate getting interrupted.
(37:36):
I'm also okay with quiet moments. Not all silences have
to be awkward. I'm athletic, but also like to binge
watch a great show on the couch.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
I'm going to say no simply on the open status.
And also they're not getting interrupted. I think I would
be a really annoying person to be around for this guy.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
If he wasn't open, would what would.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
It be if he wasn't open, I would be like,
but I hate getting interrupted, Like, why would you even
fucking write that?
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Shut up the thing that point? Why you would write
that because everybody interrupts him because.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I wrote it? Why you hate getting interrupted?
Speaker 1 (38:16):
No, I just made it up. I'm just fucking around.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Oh my god, Well, I feel like who loves getting interrupted?
Speaker 6 (38:21):
Me?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It was a little bit of a bait. I wanted
to see it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
By the way, this is fucking weird. I'm also okay
with quiet moments. Not all silences have to be awkward, right, I'm.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Like, you just made it awkward totally. You wrote that,
and you made it awkward, and now I want nothing
to do with you.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Oh no, Tara didn't swipe on me.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
He kind of pulled me back on the bench with
the shows. Good with that, but everything he let up
with now he's trying to do too many things. I'm athletic,
but I also like to ben shows. I'm this, but
I'm also that, Like, it just feels like he's throwing.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
A lot out of dark out there. Yeah, I agree
with you, and I know this again because he is.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Me one more. Zain is twenty nine. His relationship style
is sexually and emotionally fluid. His prompt was the hallmark
of a good relationship is and his answer is laughing
until our stomach's hurt and having inside jokes that no
one else understands. His simple pleasures are throwing barbecues with
(39:25):
his primary and her boyfriend present, and then with him
and his girlfriend and all of our friends. It's better
when we are all together.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Listen, dude, you've got a right relationship style. I am polly,
not sexually and emotionally fluid. Like, let's just get down
to it. I'm open. I'm Polly because that's basically what
that means, which is fine if you're like sexually open
and you're you're basically trying to say you're emotionally available.
But I'm like the fluid day. It's a little weird.
(39:55):
It's sort of like you'll just kind of go every
which way with anybody and be like, oh, I don't
have to actually match up with my type type. I
can just sort of see how I feel and go
with the flow because you've already got a primary waiting
at home. If you don't fuck this girl tonight.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Right, I don't know this. This seems like a lot
of group planning, and that feels stressful to me.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
It's a lot going on, and I don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
I think he definitely makes it clear that there's going
to be a lot of different partners and a lot
of different planning and connecting going. I mean, he basically
what I'm hearing here, this guy wants to have a
lot of barbecues and he doesn't want to have to
make it hard to find a group of people to
come to the barbecue.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
I agree, I'm down with you.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I'm going to ask you, guys, would this get you
on a second date? Second date? Material?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Let's go?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
You go on a date. He gets drunk and he
gets handsy.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
What happens the first date?
Speaker 1 (40:48):
The first date?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
No, it's too much, too much.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
That's actually happened to me before and it's just kind
of gross.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Well, also, you guys, this is a predator. Yeah, this
is yeah, this is a like.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
What especially if you're not giving the vibes that you're like,
let's like whatever and he's just like hey, and I'm
like that's no.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
I mean, there was a whole movement that was started.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Because I agree, I'm with you on that.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
So no, all right. Next you meet at a cute
wine bar. Five minutes in he's telling you about how
is X never understood him? And by glass two he's
crying over her cat that died in twenty nineteen. Would
you go on a second day?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
That's happened to me before? And I did not go
on a second day with him, Like, I'm not joking.
I was his therapist, he talked. All I asked is
one question. I was like, oh, so your ex, like,
how how long have you been single? And he was
like six months or something and I was like okay.
And then I asked him a bunch of questions about
because he seemed like you wanted to talk about it.
He started crying.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
So at that point when he started crying, I went,
I'll dig in. I'm just gonna ask you questions. I
know you don't have the emotional capacity to ask me any.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
So let's get emotionally fluid.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
No, not at all. And I'm like, let's freaking get
the gossip, like I want to hear about this fucked
up relationship. And I gave him a little bit of
advice of like, and then he he went, I had
a lot of fun. He texted me you want to
go on a second day and I said maybe in
a year and a half. Like, when you're through this
you can text me, but nope.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Not now, and in the meantime get a therapist.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Also, though I could relate to someone being upset about
a cat dying.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
So that's the least.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
That's the least.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
But he should lead with that.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Yeah, I agree he should lead. I agree it's about
the cat dying. I would feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Because then you can veer off into into bonding over
cats and trauma over losing them instead of talking about
it's connectivity to the X.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
That's what we do. We bond over cat. That's right,
let's freaking go.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Next one. He shows up fifteen minutes late in sunglasses
at night.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Oh who is he? My toddler hunts them on?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
He then proceeds to film your entire dinner for his
food review series and ends the night with we should
collapse sometime. Your face is good for thumbnails? Oh God,
would you go on a second date?
Speaker 2 (43:18):
I will say that I have. When I used to
do my an Instagram called La Eats and Drinks, I
was that person. But I would always apologize and be
like really sorry. Let me just get this. I have
an Instagram page about food and drinks. They wouldn't mind,
but the rest of it absolutely not. Is he insane?
Speaker 1 (43:34):
I have to tell you, I would have fucking minded.
Is he gone on a date with you and you
did that? I would have fucking minded.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Really, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
I would have been like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 2 (43:42):
I'll get there a little bit early, I'll do the
intro of the building and whatever, but you're not there.
Then when the food is delivered, I literally go one
second video, one second video. I'm talking video video.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
I'm not in because they like, are you here for
a date? Are you here for work? Your fucking job?
Speaker 2 (43:59):
I mean it's takes twenty seconds.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, it doesn't matter. It would feel weird to me.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
I don't think I would mind. I mean, if it
was the vibe of this guy with the glasses and
all of that, I wouldn't be into it. But if
I was sitting down with someone and he was just like.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
See, I feel like it's all about like the intentionality, right,
like are you there for a date or are you
there to like, you know, maximize what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
This is why you're in an eleven year relationship with twins.
I'd oh, you wouldn't survive.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
I'd be so fucked. I would so well, i'd just
be alone.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Also, what I think about the sunglasses that I'm like
your hide and something you look old as hell under there,
or like you've got.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
The guy he's killed somebody.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Totally and I'm not what the hell is going on here?
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Okay. My cunt of the week is a woman named
Heather McGee. She's like a political commentator, a policy expert.
She wrote this book called The Some of Us, What
Racism Costs Everyone and How we can prosper together. She's
really focused on the benefits of racial equ to everyone,
(45:02):
and I just think as a black woman, to be
doing that work and then with the consideration of how
it can benefit everyone, good lord. I mean, that's just.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Talk about it.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
It's so admirable. Like I don't think that I would
be able to dig down deep to do that and
be like, yeah, I'm just fucking dealing with living with
all you whites, right, and the oppression that you're throwing
at me. To then also take it one step further
and be like, no, look, we're all together and this
is not this is not an attack on you, like,
this is going to better society, diversity and richest society.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
That would be really tough to have to educate people
who have not been on your side and not treated
you well.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
And not only educate them, but then thinking about the
collective interest totally. She can reach everyone and she's clearly
really fucking smart.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
How do we find her?
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Heather McGee will first buy her book The Some of Us,
What Racism Costs Everyone and How we can prosper together.
Her podcast is called The Some of Us Cool and
her instagram is at Heather C McGhee. That's mc g
h ee.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I love that. So let's wrap up. Let's talk about
I guess like online dating and dating rage. Like I
guess from you being in a relationship, Erica, what do
you think? Like would be your top three? Like, just
name them very quickly? Would be your top three? Nos?
Absolutely not? Oh god?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
The not asking questions really yeah really gets me enraged.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I don't understand how people can go through life like that.
I would love to live one day where I didn't
think about how I affect other people.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm with you on that day? Yeah, what if they
were allergic to cats. It's over totally. Did I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
I was in a relationship with a guy that didn't
like cats, and it like because as soon as the relationship, wait,
did he just not like them? Or was he allergic?
He wasn't allergic, but he didn't like them?
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Ewe, why did you even date him? I'd be like,
I'll give you a pass for being allergic. You can
get shots and maybe it still bugs you. But he
just didn't like them, didn't like you're not coming through
the door.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Well he I think he had a little bit of
an allergy, but like he also vissed, like he clearly
didn't like them. And once the relationship started to fade,
which was quickly, then like the resentment of him not
liking cats, yeah, ticked in, really kicked in.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Oh yeah. And I was like, you wanted to kill him?
Well I just didn't.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I did a little bit.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
He did a little bit.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Kind of wanted my cat described.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Hell, yeah, I'm down with that a little bit. People
who don't like animals, I think they're psychotic.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
Well he's a dog guy, but it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
What's the freaking difference? They both got burr cat some cat.
The reason I got two black cats is because if
Erica's black cat, hey like he comes up to me
like a little puppy dog and I'm like, oh my god.
He lets me like pick him up and hold him.
And I was like, I didn't know Casu being like this.
So then I go adopt two black cats and love
him to death. But also I still love dogs and
(48:13):
pigs and horses and all the animals. If you're a
person who's like, well, I'm a dog person, I don't
like cats, I'm like, I still think you're insane. They
both have for they're both animals and you're cuckoo bananas.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
The other thing I was gonna say, yeah, we stop
referring to punching above your weight class when we talk
about dating. That gets back to like we're making everything
about like the numbers and the stats and the like.
We're reducing the idea of human connection, which is what
you need to build a relationship, right. We are reducing
(48:47):
it down to your fucking rate card, right, your status card.
It's like we're in the fucking Black Mirror episode and
we got the little screens up above our heads and
it's telling everyone, I'm this this and this, and that's
just an account for all of the nuances of human interaction. Well,
there's that one guy. He's having a lot of barbecues.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
We could all show up, like you gotta get a
little juicy with him, right, do the.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Fluting, emotionally fluid, and be like, I want all these people.
You can't be mad if a bunch of strengths.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
If three girls show up, he's thinking he's got a
chance with all of us. But what I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna eat the barbecue and the corn, and
you're gonna give me free drinks. I'm gonna say, I'm
really tired, emergency with my cats. Gotta go yep. Sorry,
if you're allergic, skip it, you know, or if.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
You don't like him, thanks for the drinks.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, I would say, like, just be confident in who
you are, and please don't freaking do pictures that are
from you from college and you're forty.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
No, no, have an see that. We can see that.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
Hey your freaking friend say hey, can we And here's
what you should do. I see the scariest freaking selfies, dude,
the scariest selfies from guys and they're not smiling. It's
like low angle and they're in the bathroom and they
think it looks good and they don't smile, and then
it's the exact same room, exact same lighting, move the
camera in like kind of smile, but no teeth. If
(50:11):
you don't have any teeth in your freaking profile at all,
no smiles, I'm gonna assume you have bad teeth. That's
one thing for me. It's gotta be white, nice teeth.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Buffalo fucking Bill.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
I'm with you on these photos that you just described.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
I'm saying I pay you freaking friend and tell them
to like, we gotta go out. You take my picture,
all right.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
We're gonna have Friendy Wendy count us out.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Let's go here we.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
Go, deep breath in one two three, rage, scream into
your pillow.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
I just scream, like chunk from the goodness.
Speaker 3 (50:45):
Okay, all right, good.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Job, y'all.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
Are you pissed off? Do you have something you want
to rage about? Call us on the hotline and tell
us all about it at two one three, two nine
three five nine ninety five. You can leave us a voicemail,
send us a text, or shoot us an email at
the Rage Pod at gmail dot com
I am tired of hearing I guess bye bye, I'm
tired of hearing I just heard this today.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
But when men are saying that they are upset that
they're being told to act like women, yeah, fucking welcome
to the club. Do you know how many times I
would be so rich if I got paid every time
I heard someone, including women, like men and women both
do this and say what like say, well, what would
a man do? Act like a man? If you went
(00:28):
to that meeting? What would a man do.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Like I'd be like, fuck off, I don't know, I
don't have a dick. I still am great at my job.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, but that happens all the time. Women are being
told like hey, like, hey, you know what you want
to get up? You know, make your way in the world.
Act like a man and for five seconds and look.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I get to like a woman or act like a
man woman, because okay, men are upset and it's like,
I see you, Scott Galloway.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I get what you're saying. I know that the gender
should not be warring with each other. But I'm just
a little bit of acknowledgment of the fact that we've
been living with this shit for centuries.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Well, here's the thing. It's impossible for men to do that. Okay,
they can't do it. Women are just better at multitasking, organizing,
talking to people in a just a standard nice way,
and even if something makes them mad, it's like, I
feel like women are more in control. That's impossible for
a man, but it is very possible, I believe, for
(01:25):
a woman to go, I'm gonna step up, all right,
fucking you want, you want fucking some male energy, I'll
give it to you.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I'll give it to you.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I mean I already kind of like have a little
more of a you know, but yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
My point is, is that a little acknowledgment of that.
And yeah, we're not saying to be like women. We're
just saying to like, every once in a while, ask
a question and maybe listen.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Fuck. Yeah, that is why we're here. We're on the
freaking Rage Pod where we rage against everything.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
We rage against all things serene and everything in between.
That's right. Yeah, I'm here with Tara Erickson.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And I'm here with e Barr. We are going to
chat about online dating and dating rage. It's gonna be
a lot of fun. I know a lot about it.
But before that, E Barr wants to tease us with
the old cunt of the week.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Just in case you didn't know, courageous.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Unapologetic, notorious, ten of a woman.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, I got a really great woman for us today. Okay,
I have a great cunt for us today. She's been
someone that I've just been like thinking about. I remember
listening to her on another podcast and I was like,
she's fucking cool as shit and she's doing some really
important work even though she shouldn't have to. But yeah,
(03:04):
that's my little teas for it.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
It's gonna be like a good old Christmas present when
you really when you land it there with the con
of the week with.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Us, it's gonna be like, you know, PBS rip buddy,
is this a hard pass for you? And also we
want friendy Wendy to time into Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
But I also want to make it clear I am
only on the apps because Tara made me. I am
doing this against my will.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
She did. I championed her making you do it.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
She did, and I snuck in there a sexy pick.
She's in a robe, sunglasses in the sauna or something,
and after she realizes it's on there, She's like, oh
my god, I never would have posted that, And I'm like,
I know, I don't people to.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Know I have a sauna.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, I don't want people to know also that I'm hot.
Like her boobs were kind of out there. They were
a little.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Bit you could see cleavage.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It is my most liked photo.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Do you see how I'm bringing The matching is on fire.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
People's hands are sore for swiping on. Yeah. Man, Okay,
so what are your three fuck offs? What are your
three hard passes with online dating?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Okay, when they don't offer, well, actually they don't have
to offer, But if they ask me out and I
arrive and we get a drink and he doesn't even
offer to buy me a drink, although I'm like, you
invited me here, Yeah, that to me is upsetting. I
don't need him to buy me that drink. It's just
(04:38):
one little respect thing. Because you know what else I'll do.
I'll pull out my wall, I'll go, oh, thank you
so much, I'll get the next one. That is what
I do. But if you don't break in offer, then
I'm like, I don't ah, it just seems a little odd.
And I know that might seem like antiquated, but I'm like, hey,
you inviting me out here like too a little like.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I mean, yeah, like you said it was he was
hosting you on a night out.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
And the other thing is like when they don't show
up looking like they're pictures like they are bald, they
have short hair in the picture, they're chubby, and I'm like,
there's nothing wrong with any of those things. I love
a good big old teddy bear. Do not lie about it.
If you're looking like you're one hundred pounds and then
I show up and you're two hundred pounds, I'm like,
(05:22):
you don't feel confident with yourself because you're absolutely lying
in every freaking picture. And I don't know how you
feel good about showing up, I mean walking in the
door and you're don't look like how.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
You are right? You want people to lean in. It's
about the truth, right. Sexy comes in so many different packages.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I agree with that. And the last thing is if
I get there and they don't ask any questions, or
if it's like one question at the top, like how
is your day, and then I talk and I'm jamming,
and then they don't like they're they don't follow it
up with anything, I'm like, I down that drink and
I'm gonna get in the hell out.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
There, put the pedal to the metal, windows down and
you know it, fuck out, baby, let's go, Hey, can
you did the lights and turn that up? I was
gonna say one quick thing before I get Freddy Wendy's
hard passes against Shout out to Scott Galloway, who look
I'm giving a thumbs up to on the pain thing.
You know what he says, if we accept the premise
that men in general benefit more from relationships with women
(06:26):
than vice versa, men in general benefit from dating more
than women do, that men should pick up the tab.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, I mean at least for the first time. And
then I'm like, I'm still a girl. That's not going
to be like you pay for everything always. I'm like, no,
I've been living on my own paying all my bills
for the last twenty years. Like, fuck off, I don't
need that. But like, at least for the first date.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You can figure it out at least for the first date,
or you better be cooking me dinner, figuring something that's right.
You better be I don't know, knitting me a sweater.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, I would love that.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I would pay for dinner if they brought me a
cited sweater.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
If your knitter out there, send it on over. We'll
get a pl box soon. Yeah, they'll send us.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
An Okay, so we got Tara's hard passes. Not offering
to pay, being completely different from their photo is a
sign of a lack of confidence in themselves and not
asking any questions. Yeah, which is a hard pass for
me in any conversation. Wendy, what are your hard passes?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Okay, my hard passes are endless texting, but no date
ever gets planned. I don't need a pen pal when
they're too sexual right off the bat, it's just an
immediate no. And then also for me, if anyone is maga,
it's a quick swipe to the left.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
See I wish I was single. I would want nothing
but Mega, that's all.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I would just.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Want a rotating carousel of MAGA. That would be a
great time.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Justin case you didn't realize that's Erica being sarcastics, AF,
I was just gonna say I might have helped you
with people being too sexual right off the bat, because
that I set up the profile that in the robe
cleavage is out. She's got cross legs showing off the legs,
(08:23):
she's got a smile on, sunglasses, eyes down.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
It's a whole vibe in a sana sauna. I mean, steamy, steamy, steamy.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
So I just want to say I apologize for that,
but don't take down that picture.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I'm like, shit, I'm gonna change it.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
No you're not. No, you're freaking not.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
You're not. And by the way, that's all they you
know what I mean saying. If they see that photo
and that's all they think about, like they're just like
fucking sex, well, then like, yeah, they're stupid. They're stupid.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I agree, because you should. It's it's more like, oh wow,
that girl's got a vibe, like she can be cute
and business and sexy and sassy and whatever else, Like.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
She's not afraid to own or hot.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
You know, yeah, exactly. Those guys are stupid. That's the
ones that get the little two six you brought off
to be Anyway, Okay, we got to get into the
rage hotline. Yeah no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
No, you've reached the rage hotline. Please leave us a message.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
The most rage inducing thing is the ghosting. One of
the many things that are infuriating me right now, MS,
I'm gay's gay guys on there they're saying they're not political,
they're moderates. Like, what the fuck it.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Wrong with these people? Don't connect with me? If you're
Polly and I've said i want a monogamous relationship and
I'm looking for a real connection. Read the profile.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
As a tall girly the amount of time that I
go on the date, and then they're like, oh, I
didn't realize you were tall, Well it is right there
on my profile and you can just kind of see
them realize, you know, oh, I actually am an insecure,
little baby bitch.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Any man who's actually interested in seeing you again is
a knock to let you pay the first date.
Speaker 6 (10:02):
When the fuck did we decide that dating was going
to be an interview? Because dating is supposed to be fun.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
So if you are with somebody who is not asking
you questions, that means that that person is not really
into you.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
I want to hear your shark tank elevator pitch right now.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
We had so many texts and voice memos and dms
about this topic, specifically.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Let's go so online dating is pretty much a nightmare
right now. I don't think it's been much worse, and
I've been doing it for like fifteen years or something
like that. Anyway, I would say the most rage inducing
thing is the ghosting. I know everyone's kind of used
to it, but it's extremely frustrating because you'll have these
(10:48):
what you think are great connections with someone, and you
go back and forth, back and forth and share all
these messages and then you possibly talk about meeting up,
et cetera. Uh And I had a guy recently who
turns out works two blocks from where I work, and
after a month of saying let's meet for coffee, let's
(11:10):
meet for coffee, it was getting down to the wire
of like, okay, are we meeting or not? And then
he kind of disappeared for a week. And then he
wrote me and he's like, I'm so sorry, it's been
really busy time, but I'm gonna be in the office
Monday through Wednesday this week. Would you like to meet
up for a coffee finally? And I was like, yeah, no, worries, absolutely,
(11:31):
I'm around on Tuesday and Wednesday, so just let me
know what time works. And I never heard from him again.
So this is what people are dealing with.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Oh god, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. What a
waste of freaking time?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Don't convenient right?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Like two blocks away? Didn't that piss you off?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I would be at least even if you decided like
you don't like or you start dating someone else, tell
him freaking truth, text here and say I already met someone.
I actually don't have time because you know what, you
should be fucking scared that bitch is two blocks away
and that you're not gonna run into her.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I would I.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Probably go up there and just be like, yo, dude, Like,
is ghosting still a fucking thing? We're how old?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Oh my god, it's it's all over the fucking place.
It doesn't matter, the generation doesn't matter. The I agree
part of this on like a macro level, I think
is like the dating app situation is just a mirror
for how dehumanized forgetting and the digital divide. Right, It's
it's so much easier to ghost someone when you're just
texting them versus like if you met somebody, you've seen them, like,
(12:39):
you've interacted with them face to face totally. There's a
better chance that you would have a degree of guilt
for doing that.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I agree. I even if I don't meet up with
the person, but we match on hine. We have a
little bit of combo, but I'm like, maybe not really
into it. I will always say, hey, man, I don't
think we'll be able to meet up. I'm so I'm
not really like catching the vibe. It's awkward, it's weird,
but I do it out of respect for the person
to move the fuck on and not waste your freaking time.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
It's a gift.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
That is a gift, thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But I think people are become so inward from having
relationships with their screens that the fear factor is so high.
Whether it's I can't meet I'm seeing someone, I feel unconfident.
I don't think I can actually go through with it
and meet this girl for a coffee.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't want to meet them. Then, if you can't
be matching on hinge and you're absolutely so terrified that
you're like I can't meet in person, I'm like, you
not in the match for me. Yeah. My best friends
Lara and Mitra, they got together during the pandemic. They
she would not agree to meet her in person for
(13:51):
like weeks and weeks and weeks because she was very honest.
She's like, I've been very guarded. I live with my parents,
YadA YadA. Their relationship is much different now they were
in a house together. But my point being like she
was that person, but she met Lara. And finally, because
I told Lara, I want you to send her an
ultimatum if she doesn't meet you in person, because you're
(14:15):
dealing with a girl who's now like I don't go
out much. I like staying at home. Like that's not you.
So give her an ultimatum and I wrote it for
I was like, if you can't meet up, then like
we got to end this. It's like a waste of time.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
All right, here's a voice memo from Alex.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
I love putting my dating profile together. I love picking
out the pictures, making sure I have references to pop
culture or experiences I had that are great conversation openers,
or getting my sense of humor across, as well as
being really clear about what I'm looking for and what
I'm open to. And the lack of time, care, thought,
(14:51):
and effort people put in men put into their dating
profiles made me so frustrated, because how am I supposed
to get to know you if you're not showing me.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Who you are.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
You're just a dud. And by the way, don't connect
with me if you're Polly And I've said i want
a monogamous relationship and I'm looking for a real connection.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Read the profile. Fuck yeah, dude, there are so many
out there, and you know what, I just write them.
I'm like, hey, you don't really have anything written, so
I can't really ask you any questions, So like, what's
the deal. I'll see the lack of commitment and just
go Even if they're cute, left it.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That screams I'm not going to ask you one question
if we do go out.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I recently talked to a guy who said when I
asked it, I was like, why would someone go out
on a date and not ask one question? And his
answer was, well, I don't think that anyone's going out
on a date like with the intention of I'm not
going to ask this girl any questions. But he's like,
but I think what happens is like maybe they're worried
about where their elbows are, like if they're on the
(15:57):
table or not, or if I said that last thing weird,
or am I laughing weird?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Are they a teenager? Are they eight years old.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well, I think there's a lot of emotional stunting that's happened.
It's the fucking internet and chat ept and online dating apps.
Dating right now is like the worst and like there's
a lot of research to show that and dating apps. Look,
it was a it was a money making endeavor.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, so are we.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Super surprised it's meant to like churn and burn, right, Yeah, Okay.
The idea that we can monetize something that so many
generations we're told is like, hey, it's this thing that happens,
and you have chemistry with people and you have connections
that could build to something to then reduce it down
(16:45):
to a dating app. Just even in the design of it.
Dating apps are all about write a response to the
convenience culture mm hmm, convenience economy, right, And so I
just think we have gotten to an inflection point where
people are so used to the endless scrolling versus having
(17:06):
to be in the moment because you met somebody in person, right,
having to like, you know, gut check, like, oh I
really like this person, and I want to take the
risk to go over and talk to them, and then
in talking to them, I really like them. I want
to take the next step to ask them out on
a date.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
That requires some intention, That requires some thought. It's not
hard to scroll through.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
A dating app, right, No, not at all.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
And I think that from what I was reading is
that people are at the highest level of disenchantment with
dating apps. But then you have this whole younger generation
that's grown up in this like digital world. You add
in the pandemic, and they don't have as many skills,
interpersonal skills. It's kind of a terrible storm of factors.
(17:57):
It's leading to people being very you know, disconnected.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah. What I will say, just popping back, is that
when I was setting up Wendy's profile, she was like,
can we just be done? Can I just write two things?
She was one of those I'm through so just so
you know, and I was like, absolutely not. We are
writing in each freaking prompt otherwise it's gonna be a
freaking disaster. Because what you want right out top is
(18:22):
it that person goes, do they have a personality, what
is their life about? How do we match up? Because
I'll tell you if they don't smoke weed, it's not
gonna be a good match for Herndy. So the first thing.
I went weed and wine. Let's freaking go.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
And it's alliterative. Yep, yeah, double whammy weed, wine and Wendy.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
That's what I should have written, Aircade, wine and Wendy.
Where were you?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Either you're a teenager and you have too much oil
or you're reaching menopause and all you want.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Is oil because you lose it as you age.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Fun Yep.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
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that we found the unicorn Neon Hippie. It has seven mushrooms,
it hydrates, it's full of nutrients.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Guess what you get a discount on Neon Hippie for
listening to our podcast, the Rage Pod. Use the code
rage for twenty five percent off at neon hippie dot com.
There's a lot of studies people are not having sex
although friends, what do you mean? Let me know that
there is a study that gen X women are having sex,
but like people are having less sex than ever right now?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Why?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Because everyone's fucking alone at home.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Everyone's ghosting each other.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Everyone's ghosting each other. I was on their fucking computer.
Everyone's doing the scroll on the dating app, but they're
not taking it to the next level.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
This is why people are poly because they're like, I'm
not having much sex over here, so like now I
can go on a date maybe juice it. Everyone knows
that they're all open.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Maybe, but then it's like what is that just makes
it like again it's a convenience thing. Yeah. Absolutely, So
if that person then also wants to find a like
a longer lasting connection, good for luck.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Well let us know in the comments real quick. We're
gonna get onto the next DM. If you are not
having sex and think you would like to have more,
we want to know.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
All right. This is our buddy Joe who slid into
our DMS and he said, sometimes I also feel like
women just want to be taken out for free drinks.
I've had a few experiences where they've suggested we meet
out a bar, but I've told them that I don't
drink or go to bars, and I would suggest some
other ideas and then it would become an interrogation of
why I don't drink, and then they would just stop
(20:30):
responding to me.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
That's freaking weird. I'll tell you what. It's very easy
to check if someone drinks or not, and if they don't,
I just go nope. Because it's not gonna be a
good match, or if I find out later, I'm like, oh,
that's fine. If he doesn't like going to a bar,
I would never be like, well why not in an act?
You don't even freaking know this person, Dude, Like, back off,
(20:53):
Just say Okay, I like going to bars, it's probably
not gonna be a match, and move the freak on.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I think number one, loud and clear, we need to
stop fucking shaming people for not drinking. I'm with you, dude, like,
and this is someone who loves her bubbles, you know, yeah, Like,
don't fucking like if that's their healthy lifestyle, that's what
they need to do to be happy. Like what am
I have it? What's going on with you that you
need to be like three sheets to the wind every
(21:17):
time you interact with another human being?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Right, I'll always just say I'm like, oh, that's cool.
I'm like, I really do like going to bars and restaurants.
Would that bother you? If if I do have a
drink and most of the time they say no, and
I'm like, and I'll double check because my aunt's been
sober for forty one years, I'll say, cool, are you? How?
Where are you on your sober journey. Are you sober
you just choose not to drink?
Speaker 1 (21:40):
You're sober curious?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, And if they're in the first two years, I'm like,
it's not gonna I'm not gonna do that. You should
wait probably about three years before you start dating someone
who drinks alcohol. I'm all, I'm just like, very aware
of all that, and I ask all the questions. And
that's what I think people should learn, and don't try
to force them or ask them someone you never met,
(22:01):
why don't you drink?
Speaker 5 (22:02):
What?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I'm like, I match live, I.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Let it go. This has suddenly become about you, right
like I heard that's asking all those questions.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Ew And to Joe's point about feeling like women just
want to be taken out for drinks, here is Ellen's
hot take.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
There was a time in my thirties when I went
on over one hundred and fifty first dates. And to
expect all these guys to pay for you is kind
of expecting a lot. With that in mind, I always
used to at least offer to split the bill, but
I have found that if they take you up on it,
then they are not interested. You will not hear from
(22:41):
them again.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Period.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Any man who's actually interested in seeing you again is
not going to let you pay on the first date
because he's wanting to make an impression.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I probably agree with that.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
This feels like one of those bluffing games, though, like
you're supposed to offer, but then if they take you
up on it, that they're telling you that they're not interested.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's honestly very true, because what I will do if
I go on a date and I'm like, oh God,
I'm not vibing with this person at all. When the
check comes, I'm like, oh, we can split it, and
I just all put down my car because I'm like,
I don't want to be like dependent on you, of
being like, well I butt her a drink, I'm like, nope,
I'll pay for my own. Shit. Bye, It's been a
minute since I've been on a date, don't I know it?
(23:24):
That's eleven year relationship with twins.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Look at her go yeah, so I'm definitely the authority here.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
We have a text from Alison and it says one
of the most frustrating things is when men only want
to text. It feels like they enjoy the attention but
have zero intention of ever meeting up or moving things forward.
It happens way too often, and honestly, it's exhausting. And
this is her hot take. New York City is way
better than LA because in New York the guys make plans.
(23:54):
All the guys I've matched with have wanted to make
plans instantaneously, except for a few that are just still texting.
But that's New Yorkers for you. It's their personality.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh for sure, I lived in New York. The issue
with New Yorkers is that, like the benefit of the
honesty can also be like the pain point of the honesty,
right right, get to the point it's like, we're not
here to fuck around, or we are here to fuck around,
and that's a good thing totally, But I would prefer
that if I was dating.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh yeah, absolutely, that's That's like the guys that i've
matched with that go it's a few sentences and I'm like, cool,
I'm not on here to write novels for days. I'll
say it straight up because I don't have the time.
And I'm like, I'd prefer to meet up and they go, yeah, cool,
how about Saturday? And they're like, I'll make reservations and
I'm like, hell, yeah, already wet.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
That's how low the bar is. Yeah, that's how easy
it is. Guys just make a plan and make a reservation,
set a date. It's so easy.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah it is. And I just feel like maybe people
weren't or guys or even girls going on dates. I mean,
I still see it, Like Lara does that for her girlfriend.
She's like, it's fine, baby, I I already got us
a reservation. It's gonna be a fun night. But I
feel like the guys in general, maybe they're not like
taught that. I don't know. I will make reservations for
(25:13):
my friends to go, oh, we're gonna meet here, and
then I'll go on the thing and be like, just
in case, make it Rezi.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think this gets back to what we were talking
about with Ellen. I think a lot of these guys
are just like struggling to get a few words out.
They're just struggling to be in there and be like,
all right, does so we're texting, Oh shit, now she
wants to go to coffee.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Fuck.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
If a guy actually gets to the point and says
I'm gonna make a plan, which apparently that's tough for
him because it's a small percentage. It's a toughie where
they suggest if that's a hard pass or not for you.
So if they suggest like I eat, hey, let's go
grab coffee, not really.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I love a coffee date. I'm in for a coffee date.
I want in and out. I want to buy to
see if I want to see them again and if not,
it's an easy escape. I like a low effort first date.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
I like that too, but I want it with a drink.
I'm gonna say because I go, it makes it more
fun if it's a real snooze at least I have
alcoholic system drop it by.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
It's just funny because you say you want it to
be like low effort, right, like you want to be easy.
But for some people, like the idea of coffee is
a lot of effort. That's like, oh, we're gonna sit down,
we're gonna have a conversation where it's not gonna be loud,
it's gonna be focused. So I feel like I could
see that, like for you being like whoa, whoa, that's
(26:40):
a level of commitment out of the gates, like I
need I can't do that yet.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, absolutely, I'm like I don't even freaking know you, dude,
Like I need a drink, let me just like, let
me just vibe in like a dark bar and like
it'll make you look better and me too. And then
if we don't like you, like I gotta really like
you to go for coffee. I don't even go to
coffee with my friends.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Are you freaking nine that time? And it's like to
not working to eliminate dim lighting, background noise, you know,
right the place, like going to a place that you
would love to just go and socialize at anyway, You're
not going to coffee shops?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
God no, yeah, good No, it's not the vibe. It's
like you got people business people are having business meetings.
What is two pm? No? Thanks, not for a day?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Not me, She's not doing.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I'm total opposite where I don't want to give up
a Thursday night. I actually canceled with somebody for tomorrow
because after I went back through his profile, I was like,
I don't want to give up a Sunday, Like literally,
like when I look at these profiles, I'm like, do
I want to leave the house for this person?
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Right? No?
Speaker 3 (27:49):
And if I am going to leave the house for someone,
I'd rather be a quick trip to the coffee place
than give them a Thursday night.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
For some people, coffee is like I'm serious.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
No, coffee is like I am fucking busy and I
am fitting you in. This is a drive by date
for me to get a vibe, check to see if
I want to see you.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
But see, that could be drive by date, drive park
drinked totally.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
But I think also for me, I'm trying not to
drink as much.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, there we have it. I do like the I'm
just constantly trying to drink more. You know, just get
it in, exetize your way through life. Just ivy it in.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
See, I want both. I want the energy of the coffee.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I espressor Martini. Girl, I got your back. Let's freaking
out both worlds.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
But yeah, no, but I mean that totally makes sense.
I just think it's interesting. It's like almost it's like
lifestyle choices. Someone suggests you go to Universal Studios, you
go to an amusement park.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Fucked absolutely not knew it.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Hell fucking yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Tara's like, I'm ready to get married.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah, let's go man, Disney Uni. I'm not going to
six Flags, am, I'm not going to not the two
Uni Disney LFG.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Wendy's like gross, Tara's like, we're getting hitched.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
What what about the library?
Speaker 2 (29:12):
What do you mean? What about the library?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
If a guy was like, Hey, there's a library in
my neighborhood. Let's I thought it would be cool for
us to meet there.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
No, you pose this differently the other night.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
How did I pose that?
Speaker 3 (29:22):
You posed it as, Hey, there's really beautiful grounds at
the Santa Monica Library. Do you want to meet there?
Not in the fucking stacks of books?
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Well, okay, I shouldn't be focusing on the books at
the library. If a guy was like, there's this beautiful
library in my neighborhood. There's a park outside. You know,
dogs get gathered there a lot. I thought it'd be cool.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
To grab a coffee, and I'm in the library, I'm
in absolutely not. Do I want shit on my ass
if we go outside and sit the park, or even
if we go inside the library and you're like, let's
look at the architecture. No, oh, I'm dying inside. Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
If anybody asked me to go to beautiful grounds on
a library, I would be so thrilled. I think that
would be such.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
A thrilled oh my god.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
You know why, because it's they're thinking and putting in
some fun they've thought, they've had a thought.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah I don't just just don't think I wrote it
right there. Just like we go get a drink if
we vibe cool. If we don't, we move on.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
See. I think when guys particularly suggest like not going
to a bar or a restaurant that has a bar.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
They like it more they like.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I think it's usually a guy that's like in a
different place in his life and he's like, I'm tired
of the of like the churn and burn of the
bar scene, and I want to like meet someone that
I could maybe really connect with more than just for
like one night thing.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
I also think it's they just want to save money.
Like I am not joking. A guy goes, we can
walk around the music or like Lakma, and I'm like,
you trying to save money?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Have you seen the prices?
Speaker 2 (31:05):
No, I mean outside. They're not taking me to the restaurant.
They'll literally be like a week and walk around. They're
not buying anything for you. They're like we can walk
around and look at things and then hug and goodbye. See.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I like that. I like that idea, you could pack
a little picnic, bring a.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Bottle of wine. They're not doing that.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Well, I don't mind that, And I actually don't mind
if somebody is on a budget, Like I understand that too,
and I appreciate them being creative. Yeah, coming up with
something different. That doesn't mean they're going to have to
spend one hundred bucks, like.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
If it's a picnic and they put in effort. But
I think of like a while ago, I've been on
a date and it was just like we walked around
somewhere and then he was like, Okay, it was nice
meeting bye, and I was like, I'm not doing this again.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Like nope, Tara doesn't walk unless she's paid to walk
your dog.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
She's not walking. She's not going to dog parks, she's
not going to museums. God forbid. You asked to go
to the fucking library. She's not doing it.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
No, no, no, but she is fucking going to the bar. Okay.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
So we got to get onto swipe or no swipe too.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Each one of us is gonna read a dating profile
and then I'm gonna ask you. We'll ask each other
questions about it. So Erica, you go first, and be
aware that we change the names. There's no specifics with
any any person. This could be anyone writing it, so like,
don't stress, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Don't worry. We have a lawyer. Number one name Jason,
age fifty seven. Relationship style, still figuring out my dating goals? Ugh, okay.
And then here is a prompt by Jason, who's still
figuring out his relationship goals I'm looking for. And then
this is how Jason answers a long term relationship but
(32:49):
open to short interested in monogamy, non monogamy, and still
figuring out my relationship type. Let's not pressure ourselves and
in assuming predefined constructs, we get to decide what works
best for us. Oh wow, Jason, Jason, Jason definitely not
interested Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
No, he's all over, but he doesn't know what he
wants and still figure out my dating goals. Gives him
an out so that if he dates you and likes you,
maybe gets like you make out the second date or something,
he can be like I told you, I'm still figuring
out so I don't know which is fine as long
as you're honest about it. But I find that there's
(33:31):
a lot of guys who are not honest about it
so that they can get juiced. You know.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
My response this is Jason wants to fuck.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Everybody.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah. Yeah, don't say interested in monogamy and non monogamy. Right,
it's like saying like, oh, I am interested in stake
but also being a vegetarian, Like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Yeah, It's like he's leaving it open so that he'll
match with open relationships, poly people, monogamous women, all that stuff.
He's just leaving the door wide open for anyone to
come in. Basically, he'll just stick his dick in a watermelon.
He don't care.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Yeah, this just sounds like this is like a philosophy class.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I feel he's a little manipulating too. Yeah. Where it's like,
do you really feel that? Are you really that confused? Yeah?
Like I don't think so. I think you really thought
about wording it the right way.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Also, you're almost fucking sixty.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Thank you don't include me in your ramble when you
say let's not pressure ourselves. I didn't sign up for that.
Don't make this a wee. Don't make it a wee.
This is a hu Jason, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
I agree, all right, I got one So his name
is Mark, he's forty two. His relationship style is monogamous.
The prompt was I'm overly competitive about he answered, trivia nights,
especially if it involves nineties pop culture. If you can
name the Fresh Prince theme by heart, we're already a team.
(34:58):
He also wrote, we'll get along if you laugh at
puns and bad jokes, enjoy long walks with sarcastic commentary,
and don't mind that I absolutely peek during brunch. Wow,
I have fifty to fifty custody of my eleven year
old daughter and try to spend as much time with
her as possible.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Immediately swiping right.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
What was it was the peaking at brunch?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yea, yep, that's all funny. That's a funny.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Also, I love somebody who is a involved father and
somebody who puts their children first. I think that's something
that's very important to me. And he just seems like
a cutie.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Well, we like that he's being honest, right, Like the
fifty to fifty custody is like again what we were
talking about earlier.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Like people hide that shit on dating profile. They won't,
they won't show any pictures of their kids. They won't
say that they have kids, and then you meet them
and they're like so they'll say something about their kid
and I'm like, what you didn't say? I need to
know that, Like Hiller, I don't know. It's a little
if he for me. I'm not really into trivia, but
(36:02):
I am in a brunch. Well he's just saying I
absolutely peak at brunch. You're like, that's relationship talk. Like
if I was to go to brunch with him later on,
he'd be like this, that's rage. That means that this
man's asleep at six pm. Yeah, I love it. I'm down.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
All right, I got one for you. This guy's name
is Cameron, aged forty five. His relationship style is monogamous.
The prompt says, first date. The answer is, I don't
do coffee, but I'll do a walk on the beach
and land at a bar. Tara, this is your boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I don't want to drive to Santa Monica.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
I think that is a really big point. I got
asked on a date last week in the location with
Santa Monica, and I was like, absolutely fucking not, Nope, nope,
not getting on a freeway to.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
See I don't even I'll tell him I don't even
know how we matched. You live by the beach, I
gotta go.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
You know what this is though, This is all fucking
convenience culture. Nobody wants to inconvence themselves. Right. Well, also
like gas, I mean, I get it if you haven't
met the person. But I'm just saying, like from a
bigger perspective, that's what's going on with me. I like
just like like we want it, but like that's not
how connections work, right, They're not always convenient. You gotta
(37:16):
put time in. Well, they could do it all right.
I got one. Okay. His name's Johnny, He's thirty two
years old. His relationship style is open. His prompt is
what I'm looking for. Well, what he's looking for is
I love a good conversationalist, but I hate getting interrupted.
(37:36):
I'm also okay with quiet moments. Not all silences have
to be awkward. I'm athletic, but also like to binge
watch a great show on the couch.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
I'm going to say no simply on the open status.
And also they're not getting interrupted. I think I would
be a really annoying person to be around for this guy.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
If he wasn't open, would what would.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
It be if he wasn't open, I would be like,
but I hate getting interrupted, Like, why would you even
fucking write that?
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Shut up the thing that point? Why you would write
that because everybody interrupts him because.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I wrote it? Why you hate getting interrupted?
Speaker 1 (38:16):
No, I just made it up. I'm just fucking around.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Oh my god, Well, I feel like who loves getting interrupted?
Speaker 6 (38:21):
Me?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It was a little bit of a bait. I wanted
to see it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
By the way, this is fucking weird. I'm also okay
with quiet moments. Not all silences have to be awkward, right, I'm.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Like, you just made it awkward totally. You wrote that,
and you made it awkward, and now I want nothing
to do with you.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Oh no, Tara didn't swipe on me.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
He kind of pulled me back on the bench with
the shows. Good with that, but everything he let up
with now he's trying to do too many things. I'm athletic,
but I also like to ben shows. I'm this, but
I'm also that, Like, it just feels like he's throwing.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
A lot out of dark out there. Yeah, I agree
with you, and I know this again because he is.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Me one more. Zain is twenty nine. His relationship style
is sexually and emotionally fluid. His prompt was the hallmark
of a good relationship is and his answer is laughing
until our stomach's hurt and having inside jokes that no
one else understands. His simple pleasures are throwing barbecues with
(39:25):
his primary and her boyfriend present, and then with him
and his girlfriend and all of our friends. It's better
when we are all together.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Listen, dude, you've got a right relationship style. I am polly,
not sexually and emotionally fluid. Like, let's just get down
to it. I'm open. I'm Polly because that's basically what
that means, which is fine if you're like sexually open
and you're you're basically trying to say you're emotionally available.
But I'm like the fluid day. It's a little weird.
(39:55):
It's sort of like you'll just kind of go every
which way with anybody and be like, oh, I don't
have to actually match up with my type type. I
can just sort of see how I feel and go
with the flow because you've already got a primary waiting
at home. If you don't fuck this girl tonight.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Right, I don't know this. This seems like a lot
of group planning, and that feels stressful to me.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
It's a lot going on, and I don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
I think he definitely makes it clear that there's going
to be a lot of different partners and a lot
of different planning and connecting going. I mean, he basically
what I'm hearing here, this guy wants to have a
lot of barbecues and he doesn't want to have to
make it hard to find a group of people to
come to the barbecue.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
I agree, I'm down with you.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I'm going to ask you, guys, would this get you
on a second date? Second date? Material?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Let's go?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
You go on a date. He gets drunk and he
gets handsy.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
What happens the first date?
Speaker 1 (40:48):
The first date?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
No, it's too much, too much.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
That's actually happened to me before and it's just kind
of gross.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Well, also, you guys, this is a predator. Yeah, this
is yeah, this is a like.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
What especially if you're not giving the vibes that you're like,
let's like whatever and he's just like hey, and I'm
like that's no.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
I mean, there was a whole movement that was started.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Because I agree, I'm with you on that.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
So no, all right. Next you meet at a cute
wine bar. Five minutes in he's telling you about how
is X never understood him? And by glass two he's
crying over her cat that died in twenty nineteen. Would
you go on a second day?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
That's happened to me before? And I did not go
on a second day with him, Like, I'm not joking.
I was his therapist, he talked. All I asked is
one question. I was like, oh, so your ex, like,
how how long have you been single? And he was
like six months or something and I was like okay.
And then I asked him a bunch of questions about
because he seemed like you wanted to talk about it.
He started crying.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
So at that point when he started crying, I went,
I'll dig in. I'm just gonna ask you questions. I
know you don't have the emotional capacity to ask me any.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
So let's get emotionally fluid.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
No, not at all. And I'm like, let's freaking get
the gossip, like I want to hear about this fucked
up relationship. And I gave him a little bit of
advice of like, and then he he went, I had
a lot of fun. He texted me you want to
go on a second day and I said maybe in
a year and a half. Like, when you're through this
you can text me, but nope.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Not now, and in the meantime get a therapist.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Also, though I could relate to someone being upset about
a cat dying.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
So that's the least.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
That's the least.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
But he should lead with that.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Yeah, I agree he should lead. I agree it's about
the cat dying. I would feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Because then you can veer off into into bonding over
cats and trauma over losing them instead of talking about
it's connectivity to the X.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
That's what we do. We bond over cat. That's right,
let's freaking go.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Next one. He shows up fifteen minutes late in sunglasses
at night.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Oh who is he? My toddler hunts them on?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
He then proceeds to film your entire dinner for his
food review series and ends the night with we should
collapse sometime. Your face is good for thumbnails? Oh God,
would you go on a second date?
Speaker 2 (43:18):
I will say that I have. When I used to
do my an Instagram called La Eats and Drinks, I
was that person. But I would always apologize and be
like really sorry. Let me just get this. I have
an Instagram page about food and drinks. They wouldn't mind,
but the rest of it absolutely not. Is he insane?
Speaker 1 (43:34):
I have to tell you, I would have fucking minded.
Is he gone on a date with you and you
did that? I would have fucking minded.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Really, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
I would have been like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 2 (43:42):
I'll get there a little bit early, I'll do the
intro of the building and whatever, but you're not there.
Then when the food is delivered, I literally go one
second video, one second video. I'm talking video video.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
I'm not in because they like, are you here for
a date? Are you here for work? Your fucking job?
Speaker 2 (43:59):
I mean it's takes twenty seconds.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, it doesn't matter. It would feel weird to me.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
I don't think I would mind. I mean, if it
was the vibe of this guy with the glasses and
all of that, I wouldn't be into it. But if
I was sitting down with someone and he was just like.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
See, I feel like it's all about like the intentionality, right,
like are you there for a date or are you
there to like, you know, maximize what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
This is why you're in an eleven year relationship with twins.
I'd oh, you wouldn't survive.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
I'd be so fucked. I would so well, i'd just
be alone.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Also, what I think about the sunglasses that I'm like
your hide and something you look old as hell under there,
or like you've got.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
The guy he's killed somebody.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Totally and I'm not what the hell is going on here?
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Okay. My cunt of the week is a woman named
Heather McGee. She's like a political commentator, a policy expert.
She wrote this book called The Some of Us, What
Racism Costs Everyone and How we can prosper together. She's
really focused on the benefits of racial equ to everyone,
(45:02):
and I just think as a black woman, to be
doing that work and then with the consideration of how
it can benefit everyone, good lord. I mean, that's just.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Talk about it.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
It's so admirable. Like I don't think that I would
be able to dig down deep to do that and
be like, yeah, I'm just fucking dealing with living with
all you whites, right, and the oppression that you're throwing
at me. To then also take it one step further
and be like, no, look, we're all together and this
is not this is not an attack on you, like,
this is going to better society, diversity and richest society.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
That would be really tough to have to educate people
who have not been on your side and not treated
you well.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
And not only educate them, but then thinking about the
collective interest totally. She can reach everyone and she's clearly
really fucking smart.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
How do we find her?
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Heather McGee will first buy her book The Some of Us,
What Racism Costs Everyone and How we can prosper together.
Her podcast is called The Some of Us Cool and
her instagram is at Heather C McGhee. That's mc g
h ee.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I love that. So let's wrap up. Let's talk about
I guess like online dating and dating rage. Like I
guess from you being in a relationship, Erica, what do
you think? Like would be your top three? Like, just
name them very quickly? Would be your top three? Nos?
Absolutely not? Oh god?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
The not asking questions really yeah really gets me enraged.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I don't understand how people can go through life like that.
I would love to live one day where I didn't
think about how I affect other people.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm with you on that day? Yeah, what if they
were allergic to cats. It's over totally. Did I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
I was in a relationship with a guy that didn't
like cats, and it like because as soon as the relationship, wait,
did he just not like them? Or was he allergic?
He wasn't allergic, but he didn't like them?
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Ewe, why did you even date him? I'd be like,
I'll give you a pass for being allergic. You can
get shots and maybe it still bugs you. But he
just didn't like them, didn't like you're not coming through
the door.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Well he I think he had a little bit of
an allergy, but like he also vissed, like he clearly
didn't like them. And once the relationship started to fade,
which was quickly, then like the resentment of him not
liking cats, yeah, ticked in, really kicked in.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Oh yeah. And I was like, you wanted to kill him?
Well I just didn't.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I did a little bit.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
He did a little bit.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Kind of wanted my cat described.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Hell, yeah, I'm down with that a little bit. People
who don't like animals, I think they're psychotic.
Speaker 1 (47:49):
Well he's a dog guy, but it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
What's the freaking difference? They both got burr cat some cat.
The reason I got two black cats is because if
Erica's black cat, hey like he comes up to me
like a little puppy dog and I'm like, oh my god.
He lets me like pick him up and hold him.
And I was like, I didn't know Casu being like this.
So then I go adopt two black cats and love
him to death. But also I still love dogs and
(48:13):
pigs and horses and all the animals. If you're a
person who's like, well, I'm a dog person, I don't
like cats, I'm like, I still think you're insane. They
both have for they're both animals and you're cuckoo bananas.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
The other thing I was gonna say, yeah, we stop
referring to punching above your weight class when we talk
about dating. That gets back to like we're making everything
about like the numbers and the stats and the like.
We're reducing the idea of human connection, which is what
you need to build a relationship, right. We are reducing
(48:47):
it down to your fucking rate card, right, your status card.
It's like we're in the fucking Black Mirror episode and
we got the little screens up above our heads and
it's telling everyone, I'm this this and this, and that's
just an account for all of the nuances of human interaction. Well,
there's that one guy. He's having a lot of barbecues.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
We could all show up, like you gotta get a
little juicy with him, right, do the.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Fluting, emotionally fluid, and be like, I want all these people.
You can't be mad if a bunch of strengths.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
If three girls show up, he's thinking he's got a
chance with all of us. But what I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna eat the barbecue and the corn, and
you're gonna give me free drinks. I'm gonna say, I'm
really tired, emergency with my cats. Gotta go yep. Sorry,
if you're allergic, skip it, you know, or if.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
You don't like him, thanks for the drinks.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, I would say, like, just be confident in who
you are, and please don't freaking do pictures that are
from you from college and you're forty.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
No, no, have an see that. We can see that.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
Hey your freaking friend say hey, can we And here's
what you should do. I see the scariest freaking selfies, dude,
the scariest selfies from guys and they're not smiling. It's
like low angle and they're in the bathroom and they
think it looks good and they don't smile, and then
it's the exact same room, exact same lighting, move the
camera in like kind of smile, but no teeth. If
(50:11):
you don't have any teeth in your freaking profile at all,
no smiles, I'm gonna assume you have bad teeth. That's
one thing for me. It's gotta be white, nice teeth.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Buffalo fucking Bill.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
I'm with you on these photos that you just described.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
I'm saying I pay you freaking friend and tell them
to like, we gotta go out. You take my picture,
all right.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
We're gonna have Friendy Wendy count us out.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Let's go here we.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
Go, deep breath in one two three, rage, scream into
your pillow.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
I just scream, like chunk from the goodness.
Speaker 3 (50:45):
Okay, all right, good.
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Job, y'all.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
Are you pissed off? Do you have something you want
to rage about? Call us on the hotline and tell
us all about it at two one three, two nine
three five nine ninety five. You can leave us a voicemail,
send us a text, or shoot us an email at
the Rage Pod at gmail dot com
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