November 17, 2021 • 16 mins
Recently named Big South Women's Soccer Coach of the Year, Samar Azem led the 2021 Campbell University Camels to their first Big South regular season title. Prior to becoming Campbell's Head Coach in 2017, she held many coaching positions at various collegiate and development levels and was a standout goalkeeper for the Campbell Camels in the early 2000s. A Nigerian-born and raised athlete, Coach Azem joins Nick to discuss her unique perspective on the American youth sports culture, the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality, and the value of enjoying the process.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
In the past, it was get a scholarship because we
can't afford to send you to college. Now it almost
seems like you'd get a scholarship, so we can say
you about one. If you're doing what you enjoy and
you wake up every morning and you're excited about it,
then you're gonna be great at it. If you're great
at it, you're gonna get something out of it and
hopefully be able to give back in some capacity or
(00:24):
some way because of that. This is the Reformed Sports Project,
a podcast about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all
areas of sports through education and advocacy. Hi. This is
Nick Bonacoort from the Reformed Sports Project podcast. Joining me
today is samar Rezem Campbell University's head women's soccer coach
(00:45):
and Big South Women's Soccer Coach of the Year. Your
experience as an athlete growing up? Did you play other
sports beside soccer? And I'm talking specifically thirteen and under. Yeah,
you know, my experiences are probably vastly differ rent then
a lot of college stretches. I grew up in Nigeria,
so my first nineteen years were in Nigeria and the
(01:07):
resources I mean there's there's a lot of incredible things
about the country, and there's some amazing people. But I
would say compared to the United States, compared to England,
compared to a lot of European countries, Nigeria didn't have
a lot of resources. And so growing up, I was
very fortunate enough to go to a school and other
resources that I had to be able to develop as
(01:29):
an athlete. My father was a basketball coach, and so
he really pushed that I'd pick up a number of
different sports, so I did. I grew up playing tennis, basketball, volleyball.
I actually was a dual athlete in college and it
was a great experience, but there wasn't enough Like when
we would try and play teams, a lot of times
the team wouldn't show up or they didn't have enough
money just to literally transport themselves to show up. And
(01:51):
the one sport that we had the most fraction with
was football starter and that's where you'd be able to
get the most teams show up and the most consistency
in competing. But I think, you know, my perspective is
a little different just because there weren't a lot of
resources and there weren't a lot of personnel. There wasn't
a lot of structure to things at home, and so
it was difficult to develop in a number of different sports.
(02:14):
You're now a high level coach, and what do you
notice about the culture here from the kids you're seeing?
Because one of the biggest things that I really think
is important in having young kids myself is I'm seeing
the social impacts from the pressure that's being put on
a lot of these kids so early. And as you know,
when you were younger as a teen and developing and
all those things like I was, those are tough times.
And now the culture is a little bit different where
(02:35):
you have Snapchat and Instagram and all these things. So
now we have pressure that's being put on these kids
to be these athletes because that's what parents are paying
thousands of dollars for, and it's causing inadvertent burnout mentally
and physically. Have you seen things like that firsthand where
you've you've run into kids that you know, I've just
kind of had enough earlier than expected. Absolutely. You know,
(02:56):
if I'm comparing a youth player in Nigeria and a
youth player year, you're looking at someone that's you can
and this is not every parent, but a lot of
the pants that I see in the United States are
already asking. You know, they see that you're a college coach,
and their end goal is if I put my kid
in this program or on this team, is it going
to prepare them to get a college scholarship in eight
(03:16):
years or six years or seven years? And that seems
to be the end goal. How can we get them
playing in college at the highest level, and how early
do we have to start. That's been my experience. I
coached at a Division to school as well, and my
experience there was very, very similar. It was what seems,
do we have to place our kids on at the
youth level so that they can be politically in the
(03:38):
right programs and the right clubs and the right leagues
as they moved into their two years so that they
can get a college scholarship. And mostly at the Division
two level, I saw a lot of kids who were
just they were through with it, you know, they finally
got to college and after that first year, they're like,
it's not worth it. I want to go do other things.
At Campbell, I haven't seen that as much, but I
have seen kids that don't really developed. It seems like
(04:01):
they've missed out on the entire process itself, because once
they get to college, they're like, wait, this was the
end goal. You know, this was why I played for
all those years, and it was to get here. But
then they're a little bit lost, and now it's like, well, okay,
let me win a championship, rather than fully enjoying the
entire process and what the process gives them. If I'll
look at someone at home, they're just happy to play.
(04:23):
They're happy to get a soccer ball, They're happy to
have two pairs of police on their feet, because a
lot of times kids were lucky enough to play with
one shoe, not even a cleek, it was one shoe.
And so for them being a part of a team
that they could rely on, it was an extended family.
It was an opportunity to get away from the stress
of financial implications that a lot of people went through.
And it was just hey, I'm gonna go and I'm
(04:44):
gonna release the stress and I'm gonna develop and I'm
gonna focus on me and I'm gonna focus on how
I can be better. And you know, a lot of
players that I had seen growing up and going through
the process of playing youth sports. It was like a getaway.
It was something that made them better and it made
them here. And yeah, the end goal is just get
to college and get a scholarship. That's all that's talked about.
(05:05):
It's funny. When I was fourteen, I was on an
all star team that went to Cuba and we played
two weeks against you know, Cuban teams, and we went
down there as the you know, i'm gonna say quote unquote,
the well to do Americans, and we weren't well to do,
but that's the perception, right. We had the nice equipment
and we had this and we went down there and
it changed my life. These kids were playing and I
swear to God, with holes in their shoes, with ripped gloves,
(05:27):
broken back and they beat the heck out of us
every game, and it changed my perception. I'm thinking here nowadays,
you go to any youth baseball field, kids are walking
around with fifteen hundred dollars of equipment and you don't
need that stuff. So it kind of ties into what
you're talking about. And I think that's the culture. What
does that mean for the kid? And I think it's
interesting because everyone talks about scholarship, that's like the end goal. Well,
(05:49):
we know because the n c A puts out statistics
that only seven percent of high school participating athletes and
that's across the board, male, female on average and everything
just go on to play in college. That's on level,
whether it's D one, D two, D three, son of
high school athletes don't even play in college. I guess
what I'm thinking is the information is out there. Why
is it that people are so obsessed with this get
(06:10):
to college and play sports for a scholarship when we
know statistically only one percent of kids get scholarships one
and on average it's less than ten grand. But we've
spent maybe exactly what's going into it? Exactly? Is it
just America in your eyes? I don't know that I
can say that honestly because I don't. I don't know enough.
You know, I haven't looked into it enough. I haven't
(06:31):
had enough conversation from the outside looking in. What I
see is a culture that I mean, there's so many
great things, don't get me wrong, but what I see
is a culture that is fixated on comparison and comparison
by material things and comparison by you know how many
likes do I get and did I get more likes
(06:52):
than the other person? And I think it goes back
to you know, parents and even now youth players are
starting to have the same mentality. If my kid has
a scholarship, even if financially, I might have spent you know,
twenty dollars like you said, and we're only getting five
to ten, it really doesn't balance out financially. You know,
in the past, it was get a scholarship because we
can't afford to send you to college. Now it almost
seems like it's like, get a scholarship so we can
(07:13):
say you got one. You I was just gonna say,
it's a keeping up with the jones of status symbol. Yeah,
you know, it's like, let's post the pictures of you
wearing the gear, and you know the fact that people
are tweeting blessed to have received an offer, no offense,
but who cares if you've got an offer. It's where
you choose to make your decision. It's where you choose
to go, it's where you choose to spend the next
four years, and it's what you do with those four years.
Getting the offer is barely the work. That's just you know,
(07:37):
that's like five percent of it, and people are fixated
on posting about that. And you know, for me, if
a kid posts that we offered them, I'm taking that
offer back because if that's what your goal is, then
you're obviously not in it for the right reasons that
I think that unfortunately, our society is leaning towards comparing
and boasting and getting people to see, look what I have,
and we're all forgetting about the process and what that
(07:59):
can do and what that can get of us, not
all a lot of us. Every person I interview says
things a little bit differently, and everyone else I've spoken
to was made it to that level. It doesn't matter
if their parents spent a hundred thousand dollars for them
to go to private clubs or if they grew up
in the projects. They had something in them that was
going to make them get there and no one was
going to hold them back. And I think that parents
and coaches think they can force their will on somebody,
(08:20):
and that's not the case. You need to be willing
to do the things for yourself. Yeah, agree with that.
You know, you can't focus on what somebody else wants,
whether it's your coach, or it's your parents. You can't
focus on what somebody else gets that you don't get,
you know, like we tell kids that come to our
d camps, all that's on, don't compare your process to
somebody else. Do this because you can do it because
it fits what you're good at, because it fits what
(08:42):
you need. But I would even say that, you know,
you rewind five, six, seven years for some of these kids,
and it's play what you want to play, do you know,
I mean considering obviously what's easy for your parents. You know,
if like ballet is like a five hour drives, maybe
maybe not. But do what you enjoy and then be
good at that. Because if you're doing what you enjoy
in you wake up every morning and you're excited about it,
(09:02):
then you're gonna be great at it. If you're great
at it, you're gonna get something out of it and
hopefully be able to give back in some capacity or
some way because of that, whether you're giving back to
an underclassman or as a coach later on, or as
a mentor whatever capacity you can. That's samarasm had women's
soccer coach at Campbell University. When we come back, samar
and I will discuss whether the focus on college scholarships
(09:22):
has caused a rise of individualism and team sports, and
per advice for young athletes who aren't sure whether to
be all in on one sport or not. Welcome back
to the Reformed Sports Project podcast where Samar and I
left off. We're about to dive into whether some of
the current problems in youth sports are created there or
(09:43):
at the college level, and whether kids can play multiple
reck sports and still have an opportunity to play at
the collegiate level. So one thing that you're talking about
and I thoroughly believe, is I think that we're all
here to be of service to one another, and sports
is a great platform to be able to be of service,
you know, to give away your experience, to give away
your ledge, to be able to help somebody else without
expecting anything in return. And I think that message gets
(10:04):
lost in the youth sports culture because nowadays, with kids
playing year round one sport or travel this, you're playing
so many games that if you lose two things number one,
you almost seem like you're losing the desire to want
to win, like the competition aspect of it, because it's
kind of becomes water down and too. It almost seems like,
because it's such a driven message that we're trying to
get a scholarship, it becomes not about trying to help
(10:26):
somebody else or be a good teammate. It's all about individuals.
Have you seen going to camps or clinics and seeing
kids like there's a lot more selfish play as a result. Potentially, Yeah,
I don't know that I see as much selfish play.
I think what I actually and this might not be
what you're asking, but you've got me thinking about it
a little bit. You know, I don't know if necessarily
youth is where the root of the problem is, or
(10:47):
college because and maybe it's professionally. I just don't have
experiences on the professional realm. But you know, we're seeing
a lot of money poured into college programs, sure, you know,
a lot more than I think we've ever seen before.
And that means that we need performers. And because we
need performers, they're starting to become pressure on kids to
be able to do that or if you can't, you cut,
(11:09):
which to an extent I think is a good thing.
You know, there has to be a cut through mentality.
You can't all week be winners. But I wonder how
much of that impact the development process, because you know,
I think, like, for example, the development academy and use soccer.
It's awesome. I think it provides so many great things.
But what you see as college coaches drifting towards the
development academy because hey, that's where all the best players
(11:30):
are because they're training year round, because they're in a
rigorous environment, because it's more demanding, And then there's certain
subjectivity to that, and I wonder if, um, a lot
of the implications of what you're saying are coming more
from the pressure on the top end to get performers
quickly in and out. You know, we want this to
be quick. We wanted to happen as soon as possible,
(11:50):
and um, we're gonna use these kids for what we
can use them for, and then we're gonna you know,
throw them out. And so I think that trickles down obviously,
and then you've got the reverse of that is parents
families being like, yeah, here's what we can give you,
and now we're famous because of it, or now we're
well liked, or now we're popular. I think it kind
of comes from both ends. And unfortunately, I do think
(12:11):
I do notice that the kids get caught in the
middle of the battle between those two. So I spoke
with Kevin Euculus, who was a Boston Red sockey won
two World Series, and he said, basically, we're taking professional
athletes schedules and putting them on young kids. And as
we both know, professional athletes are adults or young adults
at least at minimum, and it's hard and rigorous for
an adult, and professional athletes don't play six baseball games
(12:33):
or six soccer games. And why are we doing that
with kids? I think it has to do a lot
with what you just kind of talked about. It's because
it seems like we're using our kids almost as a
pawn to make ourselves feel better, and there's a lot
of living vicariously through. Have you seen that impacting some
athletes where they're quitting the game, where parents have put
so much pressure on that they're quitting earlier and that
type of stuff. Yeah, I don't know. If we've just
(12:54):
been extremely fortunate we've seen better parents then we've seen
those parents. I mean, we have had in the last
three four four years, we've had three athletes have meetings
with us asking for our playing time and saying they
need that playing time. Is that the parents fault or
is that a pressure the kid puts on themselves. I
don't know, but I have seen Unfortunately, I can't I
(13:18):
can't answer that. Well, I guess fortunately, but I can't
answer that because the kids, by the time they come
to us, I've seen incredible parents, and I've been really
fortunate to see parents that just support their kids to
be happy and to work hard. And maybe it's the
type of athlete we recruit. I'm not sure, but I
haven't seen the Hey, I want to live through you. Yeah.
(13:39):
Do you believe that a kid? Because it seems as
though this is what people think, and this is why
people are spending money. I've heard parents say it to me.
They're very afraid their kids gonna be left behind, so
they spend, spend, spend because there's there that they're going
to miss out. But you're coming from an environment and
a culture where you know it wasn't America and you
still made it and played at a very high level.
Do you think that kids can still play most able sports,
(14:00):
play recreation sports and not be involved in club and
still have an opportunity to play at the collegiate level.
A collegiate level, yes, I think that with women's soccer specifically,
a lot of recruiting happens at the club level, and
because I think the way that coaches recruit, a lot
of that recruiting happens at the e c n L
and the d A levels, which means a lot of money.
(14:22):
So I think that it does. Unfortunately, it does limit
the amount of exposure and development that a player gets
because not a lot of kids sign up for those
clubs that aren't E SNI or d a UM, and
therefore you're not getting the best coaches, and that's not
for everyone. There are definitely clubs that are fantastic and
they're so great players that don't play at that level.
(14:43):
But I think the chances of playing at a high
level usually do, unfortunately go hand in hand, and I
think that's why it comes from the top, at least
in women's soccer. What would be a message you want
to say to a young female soccer player or athlete
who may be struggling with you know, pressure, or feeling uncomfortable,
not sure about whether they want to be all internet
(15:04):
they're ten eleven years old and the parents are struggling.
What would be your advice for a parent and kid
who are good athletes want to play the sport, but
there are feeling this pressure. My biggest piece of advice
is to enjoy the process, because the process is going
to be what allows you to be successful in the future.
If you take it in and you live in the
moment and you enjoy what you have and are grateful
(15:28):
for the opportunity to do what you do, and you're
grateful for the losses. You're grateful for the failures because
those are going to teach you things. You're grateful for
the winds, the success, the relationships, the coaches. Then I
think that's going to be what allows you to be
successful more than anything. And doing that because you enjoy that,
I think that's the biggest thing. You're the one that's
going to have to give up your time and make
(15:49):
sacrifices of your time, and a lot of cases your
parents might support you and give up their time. So
do what you want to do, don't do anything that
you think other people want you to do, and don't
go through those motions feeling. That's samarasm Head women's soccer
coach at Campbell University. Thanks for listening to the Reform
Sports Project podcast dom Nick Bonacourt and Our goal is
to restore a healthy balance and perspective in all areas
(16:12):
of sports through education and advocacy. For updates, please follow
us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check out our
website by searching for the Reform Sports Project
In the past, it was get a scholarship because we
can't afford to send you to college. Now it almost
seems like you'd get a scholarship, so we can say
you about one. If you're doing what you enjoy and
you wake up every morning and you're excited about it,
then you're gonna be great at it. If you're great
at it, you're gonna get something out of it and
hopefully be able to give back in some capacity or
(00:24):
some way because of that. This is the Reformed Sports Project,
a podcast about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all
areas of sports through education and advocacy. Hi. This is
Nick Bonacoort from the Reformed Sports Project podcast. Joining me
today is samar Rezem Campbell University's head women's soccer coach
(00:45):
and Big South Women's Soccer Coach of the Year. Your
experience as an athlete growing up? Did you play other
sports beside soccer? And I'm talking specifically thirteen and under. Yeah,
you know, my experiences are probably vastly differ rent then
a lot of college stretches. I grew up in Nigeria,
so my first nineteen years were in Nigeria and the
(01:07):
resources I mean there's there's a lot of incredible things
about the country, and there's some amazing people. But I
would say compared to the United States, compared to England,
compared to a lot of European countries, Nigeria didn't have
a lot of resources. And so growing up, I was
very fortunate enough to go to a school and other
resources that I had to be able to develop as
(01:29):
an athlete. My father was a basketball coach, and so
he really pushed that I'd pick up a number of
different sports, so I did. I grew up playing tennis, basketball, volleyball.
I actually was a dual athlete in college and it
was a great experience, but there wasn't enough Like when
we would try and play teams, a lot of times
the team wouldn't show up or they didn't have enough
money just to literally transport themselves to show up. And
(01:51):
the one sport that we had the most fraction with
was football starter and that's where you'd be able to
get the most teams show up and the most consistency
in competing. But I think, you know, my perspective is
a little different just because there weren't a lot of
resources and there weren't a lot of personnel. There wasn't
a lot of structure to things at home, and so
it was difficult to develop in a number of different sports.
(02:14):
You're now a high level coach, and what do you
notice about the culture here from the kids you're seeing?
Because one of the biggest things that I really think
is important in having young kids myself is I'm seeing
the social impacts from the pressure that's being put on
a lot of these kids so early. And as you know,
when you were younger as a teen and developing and
all those things like I was, those are tough times.
And now the culture is a little bit different where
(02:35):
you have Snapchat and Instagram and all these things. So
now we have pressure that's being put on these kids
to be these athletes because that's what parents are paying
thousands of dollars for, and it's causing inadvertent burnout mentally
and physically. Have you seen things like that firsthand where
you've you've run into kids that you know, I've just
kind of had enough earlier than expected. Absolutely. You know,
(02:56):
if I'm comparing a youth player in Nigeria and a
youth player year, you're looking at someone that's you can
and this is not every parent, but a lot of
the pants that I see in the United States are
already asking. You know, they see that you're a college coach,
and their end goal is if I put my kid
in this program or on this team, is it going
to prepare them to get a college scholarship in eight
(03:16):
years or six years or seven years? And that seems
to be the end goal. How can we get them
playing in college at the highest level, and how early
do we have to start. That's been my experience. I
coached at a Division to school as well, and my
experience there was very, very similar. It was what seems,
do we have to place our kids on at the
youth level so that they can be politically in the
(03:38):
right programs and the right clubs and the right leagues
as they moved into their two years so that they
can get a college scholarship. And mostly at the Division
two level, I saw a lot of kids who were
just they were through with it, you know, they finally
got to college and after that first year, they're like,
it's not worth it. I want to go do other things.
At Campbell, I haven't seen that as much, but I
have seen kids that don't really developed. It seems like
(04:01):
they've missed out on the entire process itself, because once
they get to college, they're like, wait, this was the
end goal. You know, this was why I played for
all those years, and it was to get here. But
then they're a little bit lost, and now it's like, well, okay,
let me win a championship, rather than fully enjoying the
entire process and what the process gives them. If I'll
look at someone at home, they're just happy to play.
(04:23):
They're happy to get a soccer ball, They're happy to
have two pairs of police on their feet, because a
lot of times kids were lucky enough to play with
one shoe, not even a cleek, it was one shoe.
And so for them being a part of a team
that they could rely on, it was an extended family.
It was an opportunity to get away from the stress
of financial implications that a lot of people went through.
And it was just hey, I'm gonna go and I'm
(04:44):
gonna release the stress and I'm gonna develop and I'm
gonna focus on me and I'm gonna focus on how
I can be better. And you know, a lot of
players that I had seen growing up and going through
the process of playing youth sports. It was like a getaway.
It was something that made them better and it made
them here. And yeah, the end goal is just get
to college and get a scholarship. That's all that's talked about.
(05:05):
It's funny. When I was fourteen, I was on an
all star team that went to Cuba and we played
two weeks against you know, Cuban teams, and we went
down there as the you know, i'm gonna say quote unquote,
the well to do Americans, and we weren't well to do,
but that's the perception, right. We had the nice equipment
and we had this and we went down there and
it changed my life. These kids were playing and I
swear to God, with holes in their shoes, with ripped gloves,
(05:27):
broken back and they beat the heck out of us
every game, and it changed my perception. I'm thinking here nowadays,
you go to any youth baseball field, kids are walking
around with fifteen hundred dollars of equipment and you don't
need that stuff. So it kind of ties into what
you're talking about. And I think that's the culture. What
does that mean for the kid? And I think it's
interesting because everyone talks about scholarship, that's like the end goal. Well,
(05:49):
we know because the n c A puts out statistics
that only seven percent of high school participating athletes and
that's across the board, male, female on average and everything
just go on to play in college. That's on level,
whether it's D one, D two, D three, son of
high school athletes don't even play in college. I guess
what I'm thinking is the information is out there. Why
is it that people are so obsessed with this get
(06:10):
to college and play sports for a scholarship when we
know statistically only one percent of kids get scholarships one
and on average it's less than ten grand. But we've
spent maybe exactly what's going into it? Exactly? Is it
just America in your eyes? I don't know that I
can say that honestly because I don't. I don't know enough.
You know, I haven't looked into it enough. I haven't
(06:31):
had enough conversation from the outside looking in. What I
see is a culture that I mean, there's so many
great things, don't get me wrong, but what I see
is a culture that is fixated on comparison and comparison
by material things and comparison by you know how many
likes do I get and did I get more likes
(06:52):
than the other person? And I think it goes back
to you know, parents and even now youth players are
starting to have the same mentality. If my kid has
a scholarship, even if financially, I might have spent you know,
twenty dollars like you said, and we're only getting five
to ten, it really doesn't balance out financially. You know,
in the past, it was get a scholarship because we
can't afford to send you to college. Now it almost
seems like it's like, get a scholarship so we can
(07:13):
say you got one. You I was just gonna say,
it's a keeping up with the jones of status symbol. Yeah,
you know, it's like, let's post the pictures of you
wearing the gear, and you know the fact that people
are tweeting blessed to have received an offer, no offense,
but who cares if you've got an offer. It's where
you choose to make your decision. It's where you choose
to go, it's where you choose to spend the next
four years, and it's what you do with those four years.
Getting the offer is barely the work. That's just you know,
(07:37):
that's like five percent of it, and people are fixated
on posting about that. And you know, for me, if
a kid posts that we offered them, I'm taking that
offer back because if that's what your goal is, then
you're obviously not in it for the right reasons that
I think that unfortunately, our society is leaning towards comparing
and boasting and getting people to see, look what I have,
and we're all forgetting about the process and what that
(07:59):
can do and what that can get of us, not
all a lot of us. Every person I interview says
things a little bit differently, and everyone else I've spoken
to was made it to that level. It doesn't matter
if their parents spent a hundred thousand dollars for them
to go to private clubs or if they grew up
in the projects. They had something in them that was
going to make them get there and no one was
going to hold them back. And I think that parents
and coaches think they can force their will on somebody,
(08:20):
and that's not the case. You need to be willing
to do the things for yourself. Yeah, agree with that.
You know, you can't focus on what somebody else wants,
whether it's your coach, or it's your parents. You can't
focus on what somebody else gets that you don't get,
you know, like we tell kids that come to our
d camps, all that's on, don't compare your process to
somebody else. Do this because you can do it because
it fits what you're good at, because it fits what
(08:42):
you need. But I would even say that, you know,
you rewind five, six, seven years for some of these kids,
and it's play what you want to play, do you know,
I mean considering obviously what's easy for your parents. You know,
if like ballet is like a five hour drives, maybe
maybe not. But do what you enjoy and then be
good at that. Because if you're doing what you enjoy
in you wake up every morning and you're excited about it,
(09:02):
then you're gonna be great at it. If you're great
at it, you're gonna get something out of it and
hopefully be able to give back in some capacity or
some way because of that, whether you're giving back to
an underclassman or as a coach later on, or as
a mentor whatever capacity you can. That's samarasm had women's
soccer coach at Campbell University. When we come back, samar
and I will discuss whether the focus on college scholarships
(09:22):
has caused a rise of individualism and team sports, and
per advice for young athletes who aren't sure whether to
be all in on one sport or not. Welcome back
to the Reformed Sports Project podcast where Samar and I
left off. We're about to dive into whether some of
the current problems in youth sports are created there or
(09:43):
at the college level, and whether kids can play multiple
reck sports and still have an opportunity to play at
the collegiate level. So one thing that you're talking about
and I thoroughly believe, is I think that we're all
here to be of service to one another, and sports
is a great platform to be able to be of service,
you know, to give away your experience, to give away
your ledge, to be able to help somebody else without
expecting anything in return. And I think that message gets
(10:04):
lost in the youth sports culture because nowadays, with kids
playing year round one sport or travel this, you're playing
so many games that if you lose two things number one,
you almost seem like you're losing the desire to want
to win, like the competition aspect of it, because it's
kind of becomes water down and too. It almost seems like,
because it's such a driven message that we're trying to
get a scholarship, it becomes not about trying to help
(10:26):
somebody else or be a good teammate. It's all about individuals.
Have you seen going to camps or clinics and seeing
kids like there's a lot more selfish play as a result. Potentially, Yeah,
I don't know that I see as much selfish play.
I think what I actually and this might not be
what you're asking, but you've got me thinking about it
a little bit. You know, I don't know if necessarily
youth is where the root of the problem is, or
(10:47):
college because and maybe it's professionally. I just don't have
experiences on the professional realm. But you know, we're seeing
a lot of money poured into college programs, sure, you know,
a lot more than I think we've ever seen before.
And that means that we need performers. And because we
need performers, they're starting to become pressure on kids to
be able to do that or if you can't, you cut,
(11:09):
which to an extent I think is a good thing.
You know, there has to be a cut through mentality.
You can't all week be winners. But I wonder how
much of that impact the development process, because you know,
I think, like, for example, the development academy and use soccer.
It's awesome. I think it provides so many great things.
But what you see as college coaches drifting towards the
development academy because hey, that's where all the best players
(11:30):
are because they're training year round, because they're in a
rigorous environment, because it's more demanding, And then there's certain
subjectivity to that, and I wonder if, um, a lot
of the implications of what you're saying are coming more
from the pressure on the top end to get performers
quickly in and out. You know, we want this to
be quick. We wanted to happen as soon as possible,
(11:50):
and um, we're gonna use these kids for what we
can use them for, and then we're gonna you know,
throw them out. And so I think that trickles down obviously,
and then you've got the reverse of that is parents
families being like, yeah, here's what we can give you,
and now we're famous because of it, or now we're
well liked, or now we're popular. I think it kind
of comes from both ends. And unfortunately, I do think
(12:11):
I do notice that the kids get caught in the
middle of the battle between those two. So I spoke
with Kevin Euculus, who was a Boston Red sockey won
two World Series, and he said, basically, we're taking professional
athletes schedules and putting them on young kids. And as
we both know, professional athletes are adults or young adults
at least at minimum, and it's hard and rigorous for
an adult, and professional athletes don't play six baseball games
(12:33):
or six soccer games. And why are we doing that
with kids? I think it has to do a lot
with what you just kind of talked about. It's because
it seems like we're using our kids almost as a
pawn to make ourselves feel better, and there's a lot
of living vicariously through. Have you seen that impacting some
athletes where they're quitting the game, where parents have put
so much pressure on that they're quitting earlier and that
type of stuff. Yeah, I don't know. If we've just
(12:54):
been extremely fortunate we've seen better parents then we've seen
those parents. I mean, we have had in the last
three four four years, we've had three athletes have meetings
with us asking for our playing time and saying they
need that playing time. Is that the parents fault or
is that a pressure the kid puts on themselves. I
don't know, but I have seen Unfortunately, I can't I
(13:18):
can't answer that. Well, I guess fortunately, but I can't
answer that because the kids, by the time they come
to us, I've seen incredible parents, and I've been really
fortunate to see parents that just support their kids to
be happy and to work hard. And maybe it's the
type of athlete we recruit. I'm not sure, but I
haven't seen the Hey, I want to live through you. Yeah.
(13:39):
Do you believe that a kid? Because it seems as
though this is what people think, and this is why
people are spending money. I've heard parents say it to me.
They're very afraid their kids gonna be left behind, so
they spend, spend, spend because there's there that they're going
to miss out. But you're coming from an environment and
a culture where you know it wasn't America and you
still made it and played at a very high level.
Do you think that kids can still play most able sports,
(14:00):
play recreation sports and not be involved in club and
still have an opportunity to play at the collegiate level.
A collegiate level, yes, I think that with women's soccer specifically,
a lot of recruiting happens at the club level, and
because I think the way that coaches recruit, a lot
of that recruiting happens at the e c n L
and the d A levels, which means a lot of money.
(14:22):
So I think that it does. Unfortunately, it does limit
the amount of exposure and development that a player gets
because not a lot of kids sign up for those
clubs that aren't E SNI or d a UM, and
therefore you're not getting the best coaches, and that's not
for everyone. There are definitely clubs that are fantastic and
they're so great players that don't play at that level.
(14:43):
But I think the chances of playing at a high
level usually do, unfortunately go hand in hand, and I
think that's why it comes from the top, at least
in women's soccer. What would be a message you want
to say to a young female soccer player or athlete
who may be struggling with you know, pressure, or feeling uncomfortable,
not sure about whether they want to be all internet
(15:04):
they're ten eleven years old and the parents are struggling.
What would be your advice for a parent and kid
who are good athletes want to play the sport, but
there are feeling this pressure. My biggest piece of advice
is to enjoy the process, because the process is going
to be what allows you to be successful in the future.
If you take it in and you live in the
moment and you enjoy what you have and are grateful
(15:28):
for the opportunity to do what you do, and you're
grateful for the losses. You're grateful for the failures because
those are going to teach you things. You're grateful for
the winds, the success, the relationships, the coaches. Then I
think that's going to be what allows you to be
successful more than anything. And doing that because you enjoy that,
I think that's the biggest thing. You're the one that's
going to have to give up your time and make
(15:49):
sacrifices of your time, and a lot of cases your
parents might support you and give up their time. So
do what you want to do, don't do anything that
you think other people want you to do, and don't
go through those motions feeling. That's samarasm Head women's soccer
coach at Campbell University. Thanks for listening to the Reform
Sports Project podcast dom Nick Bonacourt and Our goal is
to restore a healthy balance and perspective in all areas
(16:12):
of sports through education and advocacy. For updates, please follow
us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check out our
website by searching for the Reform Sports Project
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