Are Soulmates Trash?

On this episode, Curly and Maya discuss "soulmates," if they believe in them and how to find your ideal partner.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, you're back again. Oh my gosh, what's the best word?
What you want to be? Soul mates? Wait, Curly, is
that the past word? No, I don't believe in soul mates.
Getting here. My name is Curly Maya and welcome to
this Super Secret Club podcast, A super secret club where

(00:23):
we talk about super secret things, a super secret, more
time secret. In each episode we'll talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets. So today we're gonna
be talking about soul mates, which is a huge topic
that I feel like almost everyone is kind of looking for.

(00:45):
There's so many essentially, right, Like, we're all in a
quest for love, and even when you sometimes find love,
you think, is this person my soul mate? I know,
why do we always go there? I'm like that with everyone,
I'm like, this is it? This is my soul mate,
this is it? So. Acording to wiki dot com, a
soul mate is a person with whom one has a
feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love,

(01:09):
all moms, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity. Basically
everything under the sign is what this It keeps going.
But it's like a feeling of deep or natural affinity.
Um so. According to Psychology Today dot com, the idea
of a soul mate comes from the ancient tale of
I'm going to make it that you know arist Fineness,

(01:31):
a comic playwright and contemporary of Plato. He told the
story of some two headed hermaphroditic giants who were cleaved
apart by a jealous zeus, faded thereafter to seek their
other halves forever. If you can look past the unromantic
image of two headed giants, um, I suppose there is
some romantic appeal to the idea of a one in
a million quality of one supposed soul mate. So they so, basically, yes,

(01:59):
you too are a two headed giant, two headed giant.
I feel like, curly, we were two headed giant at point.
I don't know, you still kind are two headed giant
by yourself. Oh yeah, you're right. There's there's definitely multiple
people living in my head. But isn't that so interesting

(02:19):
how they think like this is maybe the first time
that people kind of were getting familiar with the idea
of being split into two and then being doomed to
an eternity of needing to find each other. In fine.
I hate it. I don't like the thing of my
other half, like you should strive to be whole and
find somebody who is like a match. Absolutely. Do you

(02:42):
believe in soul mates? Yes, so fast. I do believe
in soul mate. Tell me what do you think is
your personal definition of a soul mate. For me, it's
a feeling like you just feel it in your soul,
you know. I think it's some one who tickles your
soul a little bit. It's somebody who makes you feel

(03:06):
something different than everybody else, but deeper, who like teaches
you something but not really like to where it's super dramatic,
but something to where it actually makes your soul feel
alive and calm. Do you believe in soul mates? I
don't necessarily believe in the Hollywood, fairy tale, Disney concept

(03:28):
of a soul mate. What I will say is that
I can look at people and understand that we might
potentially be cut from the same fabric in time and
space and then put into different experiences in life. I
have one of my good friends, but probably the love
of my life. I always talk about um. I consider

(03:48):
him to be one of my soul mates, and I
just look at him, and I'm like, I know that
had I gone through the certain circumstances that you have
gone through or that other people like, I would be
exactly like you. Like I can see so much of
myself and this person. And also I think they act
as reflections, right, reflectors of you and who you can be,
and they allow you to kind of see parts of

(04:11):
your stuff that you would never have been able to
see without them. But I don't think that it's limited
to or confined to that being just one person. I agree.
I think we have multiple soulmates, and I don't think
that we actually end up with our soulmates like in
our lives. Sometimes in other lives. I think we end

(04:34):
up with them in other lives. I feel like we
like meet them and like I feel like in a
past life we were soulmates. You know. I feel like
I've had a couple of those in this life, which
is very tragic. I know I've told you about one
of them, Curly and he swears. Curly swears, He's like,
that man was not your soul mate. Oh. I'm always like,
oh God, what's the karmic dep you guys having one another?

(04:56):
I don't know, we just you know, we just get
each other. Well I guess not, because I mean he's trash. Anyways,
respect and see the divinity and every single person because
everybody alive and every creature on earth is a divine
spark and I am here to honor it. Thank you. Okay,
well do you so on that? On that note, like

(05:21):
you said, yes, so you think you can have more
than one soulmate? Absolutely, I really believe that you can
have multiple soulmates. You can have them in different parts
of your life. Soulmates that were, you know, reflections of
you in your youth, soulmates that are reflections of you
in your young adult life, and then maybe some that
are in your full on adult life. I am thankful

(05:43):
for all of my soul mates. I don't think that
it's just one person. Yeah, and I also think that
I have a lot of friend soulmates and family soulmates
that are platonic like platonic love. Um, it has nothing
to do with like Roman take all that stuff. But
definitely just like, oh, you know what, this is a

(06:04):
sole friend, you know, I feel like Curly your sole friend. Yes,
I agree to soul friend. I'm talking about a soul friend.
Brings me to kind of like the term that I
like to use in my daily life, which is like
soule teammate. So in like my head, I believe that
every spirit comes to earth with like a mission, right,
everybody your own personal mission and how to grow and

(06:26):
how to meet the fullest potential of what you can be,
which is basically where I'll go back to the all
we all go back to the one. In my head,
I believe that there are teams of spirits on the
other side or whatever you believe in, who kind of
come in being like I'm going to help you get there.
We're going to go together. I have this mission in
this mission, and I'm going to help you get there.
And sometimes they have the bad role, right, Sometimes they're

(06:47):
gonna like teach you things you're like like that was
really hurtful, and that hurt me, um, And sometimes they're
really good and supportive. Like I really believe that some
of my exes and some people in my life who
hurt me are actually a part of my soul team
and they are a soul teammate, And I'm just like, oh,
you were sent because we probably love each other so much.

(07:08):
On the other side that I trusted you to hurt
me so that we knew that when we get back
to the other side, and that that's I don't want
to get toxic and I don't want you to get
into the space where you're like, oh, they fucking sucked
me in the face because they must love me. Like
not that, I just mean like a good, healthy state
of mind of being, like I see you for what
you did, I thank you for the lessons. Goodbye you.

(07:30):
Saying that brings up a thing I wanted to bring
up to everyone. And people may know about this term,
people may not. You can mistake a soulmate for being
your twin flame's twin flame. According to Google, a twin
flame is an intense soul connection, sometimes called a mirror soul,
thought to be a person's other half same thing as

(07:52):
soul mate, like same ideas your soul gets split into
two bodies. One of the main characteristics of a twin
flame relation ship is that it will be both challenging
and healing. This is due to the mirroring nature of
a twin flame. They show you your deepest insecurities, fears,
and shadows, but they also help you overcome them, and

(08:14):
vice versa. Your twin flame will be equally affected by you.
I thought my first love was my soul mate, like
up until recently, I was like, that was my soul mate.
Like it just didn't work out that man was my
twin flame because to what no, no, no no no,

(08:35):
no no no, you can't tell me who's my twin
to plame. You can't tell me who my twin flame
was or not. Sorry, you can't tell me. I'm a
fire sign um No. I fully believe he was my
twin flame because our relationship was so chaotic. Tell me

(08:58):
why he came back ten years later. It was like
I still love you, and I'm like, you know what,
I still love you too. He got worse, he got worse.
I was like, oh, whoa, I have healed because you
know that. Imagine like your first love coming back because
you guys were like young. We were like I don't know,
eighteen nineteen at the time, and it's like, yeah, like

(09:21):
it's something you've always wanted, like finally now we're older.
No no no no no no no no. I blocked
all all that stuff. It's we don't go down that
road ever again. It's almost like maybe he was like
now he's like a photo of who you were at
that time, like a reflection of who you were as
a spirit in that time. Yes, that is not my

(09:41):
soul mate. That was a twin flame because I really
believe that he knew my soul he knew everything I
knew him, Like, that's why it was so kind of
addicting to be with each other because he was so comfortable,
but it was also very chaotic and just negative at times.

(10:02):
But it was a mirror soul thing. But that person
is not my soul mate, Like, that is not the
person I meant to be with. Kind of the idea
of soul mates can kind of lead you into spaces

(10:24):
that can be toxic, and you kind of put up
with different things and put up with abuse and trauma
because you're like, but it's my soul mate, and you're like, yeah,
but no, I feel it can get toxic because in
the beginning of all this, you even said you don't
believe in the Disney fairy tale soul mate theme, and

(10:44):
I think, honestly, love you, love you, Disney, love you
fairy Tale. But sometimes those stories do plant these narratives
in our heads that we only have one soul mate,
and like maybe this person is the soul met It's like, ah,
it gets exhausting at somebody who has done that to myself.

(11:08):
It's exhausting, it is, and like the thing is he
was like even for me, I know that I think
about what I was into in my early twenties, like
I just really want to date like a DJ or
a photographer, and that's what I want to date now.
I'm like, I just want to date someone that I
can laugh with when we're having sex, like someone that
we are enjoying each other. I want to be friends,
and then I also want to be like, hey, you're

(11:29):
kind of hut, like when we see each other in
the hallway, like hello, So how do we know if
somebody is our soul mate? For me, I have to
believe that my spirit will know what to do when
it meets somebody that we are meant to be with.
I just have to believe that I would not put
any sort of expectations. I would not put any sort

(11:49):
of unrealistic expectations on somebody to be my match to
be into what I'm into. I hope that I would
feel it in my low as they say, feel it
in my guts in the walls of Okay, okay, alright, alright,

(12:11):
really okay, relative um. For me, I have an issue
with expectations, and sometimes I just self sabotage certain situations
and it's kind of like, oh, is that person my
soul mate? No? Okay. I feel like you will know

(12:32):
when you know. It is so hard to say how
you will know, because we are all individuals with our
own karmic stories and soul stories and narratives. Like it's
all set up for us. That's what I believe certain
things in my intuition, Like I've been trying to like
strengthen my intuition. It's just this like feeling that is

(12:57):
soft and strong and doesn't sound like your anxiety, and
it's just kind of like a soft yes, you know,
and it comes from a certainly I don't know. It's
like it's like yes, yes, no, that's the highest Oh

(13:18):
that's all high know. Okay, Mara, you know what? Okay.
I just had this conversation with the straight guy by
the way on set. He really gave me like a
big aha moment. He was like, I have been with
people who have been marriage material, but I just knew

(13:38):
that they weren't the one until I met might fiance
now and I just knew, and when you know, you know,
and I really love that kind of offers the space
of being like you will meet several people in your
life who will be close, who might be close to
somebody that you might want to spend the rest of
your life with, and you know what. The expectations stuff
comes from Disney. I love Disney, by the way. No,

(13:58):
I mean not only that, but it comes from wanting
to avoid the hurt. It comes from wanting It comes
from wanting to be a little defensive in that like
is this person it or not? Okay? Cool? I don't
want to waste my time, Like I don't want to
go through the hurt. I don't want to do this.
It's like you kind of just have to take the risk,
and it's if they're not it, then they're not it. Yeah.

(14:22):
I feel like when the concept of soul mates, it's
almost like a lazy kind of love, Like you are
expecting to go into a relationship be with the person
who is exactly like you. There can be no wrong.
You are going to have like a notebook type of
love where you're like in the rain. But every relationship
whether it is your friend, your mother, your father, your daughter.
Everything requires work, it requires practice, and I think that

(14:47):
for me, soul mates are kind of dangerous. The idea
is kind of dangerous because it kind of like omits
or makes you feel like if you have to do
the work, there's something wrong and there's only one. I
don't really believe that I haven't met my soulmate yet. Um.
I haven't felt that yet from anyone, like romantically. I
just honestly, if you're listening and you are tatted and

(15:09):
you're over five A and here you're ambitious, um, and
you like to giggle, this is not not a dating apps,
not a radio show where we call in. No, you
know what, I think your soul mate is going to

(15:29):
be the complete opposite of everything you just described. I
I bet on it. Oh my god. I mean, look,
I have dated somebody very much like me. I have
also dated my opposite. I think that for me, I
just think that if we can giggle and have a
good time, I'm done. I feel like I haven't met
my soul mate for this lifetime, but I feel like

(15:53):
I have met soul mates from in this lifetime, from
another lifetime. Okay, got to get you. Yeah, oh my god,
I know exactly from a past life. I feel like
I have met like, oh, you were a soul made
of mine in a past life, you know. And so
I have met soul mate friends like you and like

(16:17):
my other friends. But you know, I wonder like who
we were in a past life. I believe me and
Curly were married in a past life. Yeah, I could
see that too. I think in every single life will
always kind of have this like soul connection where in
this one we're just like besties. I feel like we're siblings.
At one point we're married, you know. I also feel

(16:38):
like I was a hooker in a past life or
like a madam. So and so sometimes I'll meet people
where I'm like, oh, you were either probably something I
fell in love, whether you're one of my clients. Welcome

(17:00):
to the astrology portion of the podcast. We're so exciting
to have you here. I'm not going to say my
star signs because I feel like you guys already know,
but I'm ad double aries, pint sings go ahead. I'm
a Burgo, double Scorpio and super queer beautiful. So Curly,
which zodiac signs are you most likely to find a

(17:23):
soul mate in the ones that you're like, mm I
love Damn. I have a feeling that it's going to
be a cancer because the cancers are so drawn to
me a taurist or an aries like for some reason,
tourists and aries make my like the walls of my
pudanda shake like they are like aries, hairies, period aries

(17:46):
like smell like colone. You know what you know? It's
so funny. Every single episode we've just talked about how
amazing our signs are. We talk about burgos. Okay, let's
make burgos. I'm always like, oh God, I was going
to say mine is virgo. I think it's either virgo

(18:07):
or I heard libra. According to my entire chart, like
a virgo or a libra would be great. Um. I
wish the listeners could see my face right now. When
you said that, I was like, I don't want to
see your face. I don't even see your face. Sucks
to you. I was just thinking, man, the amount of
like trauma I've experienced from virgos dating virgos exponential, astronomical.

(18:34):
We're intense. It's just like we're kind of I don't know,
but you know what it taught me that I don't
give bleep me on this. I don't give a funk
what y'all think. I don't care about what virgos think
because I know you guys hate yourself. I don't hate myself.
Not you know it's true. Not you that isn't do it.

(19:01):
It's not that you already know. You guys are in
You guys are in your own personal like damnation. It's true,
so fire, and I'm not. I'm like, all right, well,
but I didn't want to ask you, like, who do
you think your select soulmate would be? Joe Jonas? Period

(19:21):
has always been, has never not been. My boyfriends would
look like Joe Jonas and nobody will ever know unless
you're friends with me and unless you are that X. Yes,
it's true. I did date you because you look like
Joe Jonas. What are you going to do about it? Wow?
What do you want? Joe Jonas? I just breped in
my own mouth and saying he deserved you deserve that. Um.

(19:43):
Joe Jonas is the middle child Leo of the Jonas brothers,
the one with the really pretty eyebrows. Yes, yes, he's
very pretty. Did you? I'm sorry you just offended me
so much. I hate this Joe. Wait, let me see
if I can guess Joe Jared and I hate you

(20:04):
know what. I take back everything I've ever said about
us being soul mate. Jonas is the thing, Nate Jonas,
Nate n Daniel Anyway, it's Joe. I can't Kevin, Joe
and Nick and their little brother. Do you two out
of three? No? I didn't know that fourth one. Never mind,

(20:27):
Jesus Scott, I don't think we should be soulmates in
the next life. Speaking of soul mates, yes, mine is,
Jesus God, thank you for bringing that. Just kidding. I mean,
you're freaking funny right now? Do you think you're so funny?
My celebrity soul mate is the band a band heart.
I literally proposed to him at least once or twice

(20:50):
a year. It's like, not a creepy way, but I
literally would just write a comment on his Instagram and
be like, how do we get married? Actually, I don't
know who that is. I proposed to him a lot,
and I propose to Justice from generation Oh I met
justice in Japan. My husband might be draftman. He doesn't know. Yeah,
so in full maya, how do you feel about soulmates.
I believe in them. I don't think I've met my soulmate.

(21:12):
It's weird because, like, I don't believe that you can
have like just one. But I don't believe I've met
like a romantic soulmate just yet. In this lifetime, I've
met a bunch of friends soulmates, and I love them.
And I think we should open ourselves up to the
idea that we can have more than one and release
your expectations and just let things play out. Yeah, and

(21:35):
I would like to say, just throw the whole concept
out the window, you know, and I welcome to use
a soul teammates and also donate one dollar to my
venmo if you do for every time that you do.
That sounds like a pyramid scheme, teammates, like a pyramid scheme,
Well it is. This whole thing is a parent life
is a pyramid scheme. May is that I've been paying

(21:56):
you monthly to be your friend for five years. Look,
I think the life and whole in total life and
whole um. Okay, So look, you can use you can
use the old teammate. You will find multiple people who
are willing and excited to help you on your spiritual
journey on your way to become the best version of yourself.

(22:19):
So maya. Where can people find you on the Internet.
You can find me on all social media platforms at
my in the Moment, m A y A in the Moment,
Curly What About You? You can find me across the
internet at the Curly b Show bus in Victor Ignore
my Little Lift. We would love to hear what topics
you want us to talk about on our next podcast,

(22:40):
So please blow us up in the comments, d m
us all the things. What do you guys want us
to talk about? Yes, I'm also okay with being like
the side chick. I'm also okay with beings like somebody
that you don't What are you talking about? Okay, I'm
gonna I'm gonna take it away, Sorry you guys, Okay bye.

(23:04):
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