January 24, 2024 • 39 mins
Join Maya and Curly in their attempt to find the bright side in bidding farewell to sentimental clutter. As they recount their most absurd encounters with the relics of relationships past and attempt to extract valuable life lessons from the rubble of heartbreak.
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good band band.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I know you're going your chukagum look at it.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
I love and singer seeing that song no that I
was singing the Spice Girls hit single when Ginger Spice
left the band because of allegations that she was fighting
with other people in the band.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I love Ginger on my sushi.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Oh I am so do I not what I'm talking about.
I'm okay, man, just get in here, get it. My
name is Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the
Super Secret Pusty Club Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets. Get in here. We'll
been Afraid change Cloud.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm not ready for your your country album. I'm ready
for your country era.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh my god. When I was younger, every song that
I sang sounded like country. Like not. I would be like,
if you want to be my lover, you gotta get
with my friends, and my friends would be everybody would
be like, why do you sound country when you sing everything?
I'm like, I don't sound country, but anyway, well, guys,
Welcome to another episode of The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcasts.
(01:30):
Today we'll be talking about something kind of I think
it's really it's it's it's a part of growing up
and everybody has to do it, and it's basically goodbyes.
How they can be hard but somehow very important and
it's something that you know, is a big deal, I think.
But before we get into that, maya, how is your
spirit today?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yes, hi, everyone, My spirit is good. You know how
when you start your period period talk like yesterday I
started my period, and you know, sometimes you're like, did
I start my period to start my period? And then
you're like, no, no, it's fine. It's just a little
cold down there. She just went down there. And so
(02:11):
yesterday I started my period and I was like, wow,
this is the first time that I bled on myself
in a long time. Wow, what an experience. And so
I'm just kind of recovering from.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That one, like a little one or like a big one,
big one. Oh wow, big one.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
But it's fine. I was like, oh, okay, it just
is like bodies are so interesting, and so I'm kind
of like, you know, my friend is in town and
we're gonna like rally tonight. So I'm like, put in
that super jumbbo tampon and get to step in, get
to the marikana, get you some get you some drinks
(02:49):
at the cheesecake factory, and take a little gummy, get
a little cross baited, and go see mean girls, That's
what I'm doing today.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Nice. I always all my friends with periods, Like I
think that y'all kind of y'all make it look really easy,
but I can feel like if I were to have
a period, I would be absolutely devastated. Every month. I
would be like I would for sure get it on everything,
Like I just know I would get it on everything.
I know that I would be like so moody, I
(03:19):
would be so like don't I would just be the
worst person. And so you know, I really just hats
off to you what I'm trying to say, because I
know that it's not easy, and like, truly, I don't
even know how you contain it where you're like it
hasn't happened to me a long time, Like it would
happen to me all the time everything I get boogers
and just on everything. And that's just jizz.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Did you say jizz?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Anyways? My spirit is. It's just like an old thing
to say.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Now, that's a little raunchy.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I wasn't gonna tell you. I, Oh, my spirit's really good. Actually,
I'm kind of This week was really nice. I've just
been working a lot, drinking a lot of coffee, eating
a lot of food. I realized that I've been living
in a hoodie for like the past I don't know month.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Oh yeah, it's been big sweater season.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah it's cold. Yeah, it's so cold in La. I
was like, you for new photos to put on my
Tinder and my hinge profile, and I realized I was like, ah,
that that's a good profile. And I was like, oh,
I'm literally in a hoodie in all of my photos.
So anyways, but yeah, so I guess that brings us
to our topic of the day, which is goodbyes. I
(04:35):
wanted to talk about this because I feel like I
am terrible, Like I'm afraid of saying goodbye. Goodbye is
kind of really freaked me out in a lot of ways.
Not in a way that I'm paralyzed by it, but
I like they're very dramatic for me. They're very like
just like I was just listening to Anaga before and
(04:56):
she was just called Bestino and it's like and it's
like and I feel like that to me is what
a goodbye sounds like? Like it's just so much of
her songs.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
All of her songs are goodbye songs. Yeah, you know
what my NA would saying, like, do you know she's
a lesbian?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Oh? I know my mom too. Every time I'm like mom.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, her CD in the car, Yeah, nanny.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I think my mom's trying to relate to me.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
She just goes, you know she's a lesbian.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
But I feel like with me, I think I'm so
bad at saying goodbyes that I actually have had the
same best friends in my life since I was eight
years old. I'm still cool with all my ex boyfriends.
I still somehow keep in touch with a little bit
of people here and there. All the time, I feel
like I don't I'm not good at goodbyes. What about you?
(05:57):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
There's so many goodbye songs with the word goodbye. The
Beyonce song best I ever had by Beyonce. Thank God,
I've found the good and good. Thank God I found
the good and goodbye. I so much you so mad,
thank God, I found the good and goodbye.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
That's the truth, finding the good and goodbye. You know.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Well, in this episode, we basically want the intention to
be to talk more about goodbyes and just like to
make them a little easier. You know. I feel like
a lot of people don't want to talk about death
or the ending of things, and that's why they're so difficult.
Sometimes it's because we don't talk about it. Like I
(06:46):
think a lot of the things with my anxiety that
you kind of helped me with Curly, like what's the
worst possible thing that could happen? Like take your mind there,
Like okay, you get there, and so and so is
there and what do you do? You know? So I
feel like this is kind of like a healing moment
for everyone right now on the pod is just to
(07:06):
we're all sitting down. It's the end of the night.
It's like one in the morning. Nobody wants to leave yet,
so we're finding like random topics to talk about and
they might get a little deep. So just a little
bit of a trigger warning. But also I never leave
a phone call without saying goodbye. I'm never leaving phone
go saying like goodbye without saying I love you either
(07:27):
I say goodbye.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Love you me too.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I love you because I my anxiety will be like.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
If you don't say I love you, that could be
the last time that you could ever talk to them.
But again, and then you didn't say I love you.
And you know what, I don't know if it's like
very la or what, but I say I love you
to everyone. I'm like love you like I'm not like
a big like you know me, go, oh my god,
I can't say I love you. It's visit there. I mean,
do you like, I don't care whatever you're into. But
for me, I'm like even I feel like there's different
levels of love and I can love you. I can
(07:55):
absolutely be like, yeah, I've met them like five times
and I love them. They're amazing, you know. But I
do say that a lot because I don't want the
last thing again for them to hear or hear from me,
or the last thing for me to say is something
outside of like love, you know, right? But you know me,
I always want to do research. I always want to
find out like what is the reason why goodbyes are
(08:18):
so hard? And I couldn't really find a lot of research.
But the one thing that I could find was like
on some magazine. I think it was like psychology dot
com or something. I don't know if that's magazine website.
I don't be magazine. And they were talking about how
like goodbyes can be harder for different people because it
stimulates different parts of your brain. Of course, like everything,
every emotion is stimulated from something happening in your brain.
(08:39):
And it was saying that in some with some people,
the process the area of your brain that processes grief,
you know, is stimulated when you're saying goodbye. But for others,
the pain, the pain processing areas, but also the pleasure
parts are stimulated at the same time. So it can
get a little hard for people to kind of like
(08:59):
deal with goodbyes, sometimes more so than others. And so
I thought, oh, maybe that's me because I tend to
kind of like romanticize goodbyes in almost like a spiritual
romantic way, right, like, like, I'm so thankful for the
time that we had together. I'm so thankful for whether
(09:21):
it was a good experience a bad experience. You know,
we had somebody that was in our orbit for a while,
and when they left our orbit, I remember our last
day together and I was so sad to like have
them go. And even though it wasn't the most pleasurable experience,
I remember like going home and being like, thank you
(09:42):
so much life for that experience, Thank you so much
for that. It was hard, but it was beautiful and
like like so like there's a song in the goodbye
song like so glad we made it. Time will never
change it. And I think about, like, I'm so glad
that we made it, so glad that we came this far.
I'm sorry that it didn't work out. It's so sad
(10:04):
that we didn't have a good time together. But goodbye,
you know, but I think that it's still whether they're
good or bad goodbye is they do tend to be
kind of really hard on me.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I want to know first what kind of goodbye are you?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Do you say bye or bye bye or see you later,
like when you're leaving a party. I'm like, and how
do you say goodbye? That's what I want to know.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I always say bye, y'all, I'm out, No, you know me,
I'm out east, I'm out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
And you do a peace sign, yeah, come across the room.
And it's always me running to like what what are you.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Doing what I literally am out. I'm out, ease.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Bye, I give a hug, see you later. I have to.
I have to give hugs otherwise I feel like I
don't know. It's do you irish goodbye?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
No? Not with the people that I'm not like, No,
I don't. I usually say goodbye to the people that
invited me. I say goodbye to like key players at
the party, and then I leave key players. Otherwise you
guys will text me where'd you go? I'd rather just like, right,
where'd you go?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I left?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
You know what I left already down. But my favorite
thing is I'm always like to I'm like tutulu.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah. But goodbyes, when you say goodbyes, like I need
a specific like you know, there's so many different types.
So when you talk about goodbyes are being hard, like
what type of goodbyes?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I feel like, you know, goodbyes can be They're always different, right.
You can say goodbye to a friend, you can say
goodbye to a job, your co workers.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You can say yeah, they are hard for me. Yeah,
it is hard for me sometimes because it's hard. But
then it's not, I'm very much. I can be like, okay, bye,
see you later. I'm over this experience. I'm done, Like,
no hard feelings at all, I'm just when I'm done.
I'm done. When I want to leave, I want to
leave when I don't want to talk, I don't want
(12:03):
to talk. Like that's something that my parents are like,
it's very much like when they want to leave, when
they're ready to go, or when they're ready to leave
an experience or something, they're like, I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I don't have I have that at parties, but I
don't have that with like people, right. So, Like if
I'm at work or something and I'm leaving that job
and I'm thinking by my coworkers, it's not easy for
me to go, that's over. It's very hard for me
to not let me like it's.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Over as you're leaving the job.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Not for that, Yeah, like friendships, relationships, family, Like it's
if you're like, oh, I'm going to stay with you
for like a week when you leave, it's very hard
for me to go. Maybe that's like a codependent thing.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, all of a sudden of
my it's giving a little anxious attachment style.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Bab I'm all, where are you going I'm all like, honey,
I baked and anyways, I will say that, like in
(13:13):
saying goodbye is like we're gonna go between all of them, friendships, breakups, death,
like actually grieving. There are different types of goodbyes, right.
Some of them are absolutely necessary when you have to
say goodbye to somebody who's toxic, and then they're goodbyes
that you that are just kind of like forced. Somebody
breaks up with you, someone says goodbye to you. You know,
(13:34):
when do you think that for you, like in the
sake of like a friendship or a job, When do
you feel like goodbyes are necessary?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I think when my spirit feels like my time like
I have nothing else to gain, or like everything my
experience moving forward is just kind of like not the same,
you know. But that's I don't really think it's like
a goodbye. I think it's like a see you later.
I'm very much like a see you later where maybe
(14:01):
I will remove my energy as and and you know,
put it to someone else or something else who is
showing up for me in those ways, you know. So
I think it's I think I've been trying not to
associate like that with being mad that they I feel
(14:24):
disrespected that they're not showing up for me or whatever.
It's more so like accepting people where they're at. Yeah, yeah,
and that like at this point in my life, yes,
people can change, but most people are pretty settled in
their ways, you know, So who am I to be?
Like you need to change, I need to be called me,
(14:45):
call me moore, Like, I'm not going to do that,
Like I'm not going to force someone to do something
that they're not naturally doing. So I'm going to like
take a step back. I'm not going to say goodbye, though, But.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What about like like I've had I had a really
close friend of mine say goodbye to me. She was
just like, you're not capable of being the type of
friend that I need and I just feel like I
can't do this, and so I'm gonna have to say goodbye.
And and she was absolutely right, like I just couldn't.
I couldn't give that, you know, I didn't. I couldn't
(15:19):
hold the emotional space to do that. And so I
feel like, you know, it was necessary for her perhaps
to be able to set that boundary. And by the way,
we still we're still cool. We ended up. It was
it kind of was a little bit of a see
you later. But in terms of like, you know, somebody
breaking up with you or being like I have to go,
I think that that can be really painful. It can
(15:40):
activate a lot of parts of mentally of abandonment. It
can activate parts of you of like not feeling adequate
enough when people say goodbye. And I really think that
even when you're the one saying goodbye, I feel like
it could still activate parts of like abandonment. It could
feel like when something comes to an end and there's
(16:00):
a sense of loss, there's a sense of grief, and
so it's still really painful. I feel like for me,
goodbyes are necessary when they kind of become it's not
when this situation no longer serves you. Because Oprah often
says like, you know, when something no longer serves you,
like move on. I don't think that that's fair, because
(16:22):
a lot of people can be like you no longer
serve me, and it's like, bitch, I was never here
to serve you in the first place, where this relationship
is you know. But I think it's more of like
when something becomes toxic, when something becomes painful, when the
pain outweighs the good. I think that it is time
to say goodbye. It is time to go, you know what.
I've reached the glass ceiling in all capacities and at work,
(16:44):
in this friendship, in this relationship, like there's no growing
from here ceiling. We've hit the ceiling. And it's like
I have to go, and I love you, and I
thank you, and I honor the time that we had together,
and truly maya like, I've had so many instances where
spiritually I feel like I am on my knees, head
(17:07):
to the ground in awe and just so thankful for
no matter how fucked up these people were to me,
no matter how fucked up the toxic relationships were or
whatever happened between us, at some point, there was some goodness,
at some point there was some love. And I think
that honoring it in a way of saying like goodbye,
(17:31):
you know, like uh, farewell, you know, it allows me
to honor it, Vidas.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
And to you and you you know that's all. Oh well, well,
this is what I wanted to say. Also, is all
of this is kind of like letting go of an attachment,
like you're saying, And I think it's good to as
(18:01):
you get older, become more detached from people, from family,
from friends, from everything, from material objects, not in a
way of like you're isolating yourself, but that you're not
attached to the expectations of them or like even expectations
of yourself. I feel like, and this is like an
(18:21):
extreme way, because I feel like I was so overly
obsessive with like my community and my friend group and
my friends and like my family, my coworkers, to where
if anyone was mad at me or something, or if
anyone thought I was a bad friend and wanted to
say goodbye to me, it was like devastating, you know.
And I never would say goodbye to anyone because I'm like, well, why,
(18:45):
like there, I can still fit myself into being their
friend or fit myself into what they need me to be,
you know, And so I need to keep them. I
need to keep all these people. I need to keep
all these things. And I think it just got too
much to hold. Yeah, And now I feel like if
a friend wanted to be like, you know what, I'm
(19:07):
not getting what I need out of this friendship or whatever.
And if they just want to say goodbye, I'm not
gonna run after that or chase them, like if you're
ready to go, if you're done, then it's okay. You know,
if you don't feel like I was a good enough
friend for you to come to me and address certain things,
and if you have never addressed these things that do
(19:30):
you want to say goodbye to, like, then we were
not that good of friends anyway.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
So I think it's kind of being open to changes
and open that people are able to make their own
decisions and that at any time, you know, death is inevitable,
people can change their minds. So I'm not going to
hold on super tight to those types of things because
(19:55):
it just I feel like I didn't have enough time
for myself and I was saying good by to myself. WHOA.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I feel like I don't know how people used to
say goodbye to each other back in the day before
the internet, before telephones, like when they would go on
like the Oregon Trail or some ship or they had
to our families across the borders or do whatever. Organ trail, Yeah,
like didn't the settlers to old Yeah, there was like
a there was an old game called the organ Trail,
The organ Trail, isn't it called the organ trail.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
What do you what is the organ trail? Like organ
like Oregon. Okay, you're saying organ tapes.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Organ trail, don't. I'm not gonna Organ doesn't deserve the poses.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
An organ? Two different things? Are you an organ donor.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Oregon? You don't deserve the I don't say that.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Organ's pretty sorry organ?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Whatever is like if you're like, how did they? Because
for me, I'm like, oh, I don't. I can't imagine
being like see you never see you. Like I'm very
much like there's two types of things for me, Like
when we went to Hawaii with my best with my
best friends, with my cousins who are like some of
my closest friends too, when we were coming back, we cried,
(21:19):
you know, when we literally were getting on the plane
in Hawaii and we cried because we were like, we're
not going to see each other. Yeah, when I like
say goodbye to people at work, I cry. When I
graduated in eighth grade, I cry. When I leave some
of my best friend's houses that don't live here in
LA I cry, Like I'm just so like I get
so moved by the emotions and just so happy about.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Them because it's love, right, It's.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
So much love. It's so much love, and you're kind
of like, I'm going to miss you. And that's the
thing too, like I'm going to miss you.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, I had my I used to visit California all
the time when I lived in Arizona, and there was
one of my best friends and every single time we
had to leave each other from a trip, we would
sob we would cry and each other's arms. There was
this one time when they were dropping me off at
the airport and XO by Beyonce started playing and we
(22:16):
were crying, like just crying because like, I don't we
just every single time we hung out was on a trip,
so we only had like a week together and it
was like we were in we were on a cruise,
or we were in California doing something. And so that
(22:37):
song is a good goodbye song, like it's so freaking good.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
And that's the other part of it too, that when
they're good, you kind of go goodbye. I love you
and I'll miss you, you know, and it's kind of
just like the absence of somebody being there and you're like,
this is really painful, this is really hard, you know.
So I can see that being really intense I feel
(23:03):
like now in my age, like you know, I'm in
my late thirties now or going into my late thirties
this year, I'm thirty six. It's now. I am now
as of now, learning that I can say goodbye and
keep and lock that door and keep it away and
be like and still have the same emotions of like goodbye,
(23:25):
I love you, I can miss you, but stay away goodbye.
But I am learning that I have learned that as
an older person, and I just did not understand that
I had that capacity. I don't think that I had
that thing. I don't think that I had that When
I was younger. Everything was I's see you later.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
My mom calls it leaving the porch light on and
the screen door unlocked.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
But I feel like I'm there's some instances with some
people where you're just like, nope, turning the lights off.
There's no one home. Actually we moved. Actually the plot
has been the.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Entire building has been demolished, and now it's a kmart
and it's not open.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Is not open, it's not open. We actually are underground
three miles of worth of tunnel that you have undisclosed location.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
You can't find me, You'll never find me, don't try
forget about me, get your memory raised.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Don't even But what do you feel like in terms
of somebody who you know is anxious about either saying goodbye,
like what advice would you give them in terms of like,
you know, dealing with having to do it and then
dealing with having said it.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
If let's create a hypothetical scenario, so like let's say
they are they have talked to a friend or something
and they need to say tutulu bitch in a respectable
way to them. I would stand on your business. I
would say, like I would write down all the reasons
(24:59):
why you you want to do.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
This and.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Know that it's for you and it's for like boundaries
and mental health all that stuff, like really ground yourself
in that you are making a decision for yourself, not
based on ego, but more so like this this is
my boundary, you know, like, stand firm in the decision
because I'm very much like I will flip flop, you know,
(25:27):
I will be like during the conversation like, oh, I
don't actually want to say goodbye. Maybe we can fix
this or maybe we can, but if you're really serious
about it, it needs to be a one and done.
You know, cut the cord. Cut the cord. Well, I'm
better at that when it comes to people who have
severely disrespected my boundaries, for sure, for people who are
(25:49):
nice to me, if you're nice to me, I will
stick around for years.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I feel like for me, I'm just like whatever, Like
I don't care like it has to be I can
still be nice and still be cool, and Sty'll be
like whatever, like it's fine. I think that what tends
to happen with goodbyes is we tend to feel like
this is an end versus thinking about it as like
a new beginning, right, Like when you can say goodbye
to anybody a job, a person, a friend, you open
(26:31):
the door to new possibilities. You open the door to
people coming in and changing your life. You know, if
you say goodbye to a shitty partner, you invite different
energy to kind of maybe be what you're looking for,
or you learn new lessons. Like I'm not sure that
I have any sort of regrets in terms of any
job that I've ever said goodbye to, any partner, that
(26:52):
I've ever said goodbye to, any friends that I've ever
said goodbye to. I actually don't have any regrets because
it's opened up different parts of my life and who
I am now. Having learned all of those lessons has
really helped me, has really allowed me to grow. I
think the most impactful goodbye is death, right, like dealing
(27:12):
with dealing with death and grief and being able to
kind of be like there really is no way to
come back from that, and saying goodbye. I think that
that can be really hard. Grief in terms of dealing
with that is a whole nother of beests. But I
feel like knowing that goodbyes are a part of life.
(27:34):
They are just the inevitable. You say goodbye to your
friends in preschool, you say goodbye to your friends in
high school, college, whatever. You say goodbye to the person
you met at the sizzler for ten minutes, Like, it's
just a part.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Of what we can You got food poisoning.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Oh my god, I got food poisoning at Sizzlers.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm psychic and that's why I said, I said, because
you got food poisoning.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, I think just to too one time. Actually, I
think anyways, I let her tell that story, but we
I feel like, yeah, I think that it can be
It can be anxiety inducing but it is a part
of a part of it. And then once you do it,
just keep going. It's uh, it's something that I think
that if you felt they need to do it, it's
(28:15):
absolutely needed. A right and now for our SoC section,
we are going to be talking about which signs are
(28:36):
good at saying goodbye and which signs are not good
at being told goodbye? What do you think.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Capricorns are good at being a saying goodbye? Yeah? The
Earth signs are really good at saying goodbye, for sure,
all of them.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Burgle Taurus, Capricorn. I'm out just I just give them
a knife of slice through whatever, like you never existed.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
But also, y'all say goodbye, but you're still you're still creeping.
I feel it, and you'll admit it too, really, Virgos
will admit it, not you specifically, but like they'll admit
it for sure.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I definitely will say goodbye, but I always will keep like, no,
I'll say goodbye.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You say goodbye for yourself, but it's not actually goodbye.
Hold up, Capricorn, say goodbye. That's it. Virgos are little
fakers because they'll say it, but they won't actually do
it because they have their own ways okay, because they
want to see like was I actually I know I
(29:42):
was right, I know I was right, but I just
want to see I just want.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
To see it.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
And then they'll go back and be like, Yep, definitely right,
I was right. And then they'll go back and get
and be like wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
That was right. But virgos are always right. So what
about those Earth signs? What about the other Earth sign?
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, Taurus, they'll I think they've already said goodbye in
their mind a long time ago, but they're just kind
of waiting on you to do something, to be like Okay,
now I'm out, you know, give them a reason to leave.
I've experienced that firsthand.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
But I feel like Tauruses are also like give them
a few months and they're like, oh, I wonder, I
wonder how they My mom's a Taurus, my sister's a Taurus.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Sometimes they'll come back like nothing. Sometimes they'll come back
like nothing, like didn't you just make a big stink
about like a dramatic think about how you deserve better?
Go deserve better?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah. I feel like fire signs are kind of like
that too, though I feel like Leo's are very stubborn
with that like fuck that, I'm out. I don't give
a shit. But I feel like aries are very open
to like burning shit down. And then I think that
because aries are known for me, they know that they
can be reactive. I think that they'll doubt their decision
too and be like, oh shit.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
That I Here's the thing is, sometimes we will self
sabotage so much to where we are forced to say
goodbye because we've done too much creeper shit, you know,
to be like I already burned this down, so what
more can I do?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Yeah, Saga's already gone.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah they left at the beginning of the podcast. Any
of this episode, they're like, goodbye is what is?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
No bye? Sages are just waiting for you to fucking
crack the champagne on their ship, on their little boats.
They can be like I think scorpios.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Scorpios are like they'll say goodbye, but they have to
make it a big fanfare sometimes or or slip out
like and be like bye. It just I just feel
like they're very dramatic, and I'm just kind of like, girl,
you didn't have to do all that.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
You have to do all that say goodbye when they're
like lowering you to the ground and throwing frame over
your grape.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Like that's what That's what I'm saying. But it has
to be a big it has to be like a
big kind of thing, because or they will leave without
saying goodbye and make a big deal about that. Like
I feel like scorpios are they want to be like
so mysterious, so fucking bad, but I'm so sorry. Like
(32:25):
I think aries can see right through that. I can
see right through every single scorpio and I love it.
I'm here for the theatrics. I will help you get
more dirt so you can throw it on their coffin.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, I feel I feel like scorpio energy because I'm
double scorpio. I feel like it's less about like wanting
to be mysterious. I think there's just parts of the
scorpio that just are and so I think that like
the goodbye is kind of like oh, like I don't know,
like you, I don't know. I feel like I'm thinking
about all the scorpions in my life and I and
I just I feel like they're all like burrow, burrowers burrow,
(33:00):
like like the little animals are like burrow underground. That's
how I think of them. Like I think of them
as like just all like the scorpions, like exactly that
like just going in and being like yeah, I get it.
I think the other water signs like cancer and Pisces.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Pisces will not say goodbye at all. I mean, Pisce's
men will not say. They don't say goodbye to me.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I feel like Pisces, it takes them a lot to
say goodbye. But once they do, you do not exist.
Like you have never existed. You were never born, you
don't have a birth certificate, there was never any like
egg to sperm contact. You are you are wiped just
into the black hole of existence. That's it. Like Pisces
(33:49):
are just like when they're through, they're through. I'm like hello,
and I'm like hello Pisces, and I'm like hello, hello, hello, hello,
And they.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Just don't because they turned their usibility cloak on.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
They're there. They're there. Cancers, I feel.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Like cans are dramatic.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I feel like I feel like they've already taken notes
of all the ways that you've heard him whoa them,
not him. Cancers will take notes on how you've hurt them,
and so when they say goodbye, it's based off of
all of that, Like I'm gone because of this. Air
(34:27):
Sins don't care. They don't have they don't have souls,
they don't have motions, they don't care.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Air signs I don't know many they are. Air signs
are the true mysterious ones. Honestly, they don't have to
they don't have to make an aesthetic. Sometimes they just are.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
They just are.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Yeah they Gemini, yeah, Geminis. You won't know if they've
said goodbye to you, but you'll know if you don't
get a Christmas card that year. I didn't get a
Christmas card Gemini. This year, I'm like, oh fuck, okay.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah, Joyce, where were you this Christmas?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yeah? And and Aquarius are they don't care about like
I mean, they're so like against anything society wants or
themes acceptable that they're just they do with things their
own way. So they're they're not even checked in. They're
on another planet right now.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
My dad's an Aquarius. My dad says goodbye to people
like there's a moment. My dad's very like not even
just like a goodbye or like a final thing or
something that broke the camel's back. It's literally just like
like a gradient like a fade out and then the
whole new life like that never existed. That just they
My dad is like.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Oh my god, that's so true. I I Yeah, I
have an aquarius ex who literally has lived like five
hundred thousand lives where I'm like, damn boy, last a
couple of years ago, you wanted to make me move
in with me, and now you got another girl pregnant.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Damn girl. Okay, another girl pregnant because you didn't get pregnant,
but like a girl pregnant he got.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
He got a girl pregnant after me, and then again
like ten years he came back ten years later and
then he got another girl pregnant. So he has two
baby mamas that are not me.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Oh, I know exactly who we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, do you love me?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Not sorry, libras, they're good.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
You're good at my book, baby.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Yeah, maya. How do you plead on goodbyes?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Bye? I go to my mom. My mom goes bye
bye bye bye bye bye bye. I go bye bye.
And when I talked to my little nephew, I go
bye baby bye bye.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Bite. Every time we hang out, but go well, we
always do that with each other. We'll talk for like
three hours, like.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Well, text I always go my my out is text me.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So I hit drive later.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah, I always like text me love you.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
I did want to say. Goodbyes are hard. You're not alone.
Whether you're saying goodbye to your friend, your lover, your situationship,
your coworkers, or death or an identity or that crazy
little white hair that grows out in the middle of your
forehead all of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Or on your cheek like the top of your cheek.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
They can be hard, but they sometimes are very necessary,
and so if you're going through it, just be kind
to yourself, be kind to others. Try to send them
off with a lot of love. Uh And in the
words of the Spice Girls, look the rainbow and every storm,
(38:03):
find out for ser and Love's gonna be there for you.
Click yeah perfect, Okay.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast Curly. How can They
Find You? On social media?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
You can find me at the Curly V Show on
TikTok Instagram. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, n
A y A in the Moment, anywhere online because we're
chronically online love you bye.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
You're shaking my titties right now.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Oh, make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear
more episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club
podcast is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's
Michael Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Good band band.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I know you're going your chukagum look at it.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
I love and singer seeing that song no that I
was singing the Spice Girls hit single when Ginger Spice
left the band because of allegations that she was fighting
with other people in the band.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I love Ginger on my sushi.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Oh I am so do I not what I'm talking about.
I'm okay, man, just get in here, get it. My
name is Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the
Super Secret Pusty Club Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets. Get in here. We'll
been Afraid change Cloud.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm not ready for your your country album. I'm ready
for your country era.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Oh my god. When I was younger, every song that
I sang sounded like country. Like not. I would be like,
if you want to be my lover, you gotta get
with my friends, and my friends would be everybody would
be like, why do you sound country when you sing everything?
I'm like, I don't sound country, but anyway, well, guys,
Welcome to another episode of The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcasts.
(01:30):
Today we'll be talking about something kind of I think
it's really it's it's it's a part of growing up
and everybody has to do it, and it's basically goodbyes.
How they can be hard but somehow very important and
it's something that you know, is a big deal, I think.
But before we get into that, maya, how is your
spirit today?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yes, hi, everyone, My spirit is good. You know how
when you start your period period talk like yesterday I
started my period, and you know, sometimes you're like, did
I start my period to start my period? And then
you're like, no, no, it's fine. It's just a little
cold down there. She just went down there. And so
(02:11):
yesterday I started my period and I was like, wow,
this is the first time that I bled on myself
in a long time. Wow, what an experience. And so
I'm just kind of recovering from.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That one, like a little one or like a big one,
big one. Oh wow, big one.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
But it's fine. I was like, oh, okay, it just
is like bodies are so interesting, and so I'm kind
of like, you know, my friend is in town and
we're gonna like rally tonight. So I'm like, put in
that super jumbbo tampon and get to step in, get
to the marikana, get you some get you some drinks
(02:49):
at the cheesecake factory, and take a little gummy, get
a little cross baited, and go see mean girls, That's
what I'm doing today.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Nice. I always all my friends with periods, Like I
think that y'all kind of y'all make it look really easy,
but I can feel like if I were to have
a period, I would be absolutely devastated. Every month. I
would be like I would for sure get it on everything,
Like I just know I would get it on everything.
I know that I would be like so moody, I
(03:19):
would be so like don't I would just be the
worst person. And so you know, I really just hats
off to you what I'm trying to say, because I
know that it's not easy, and like, truly, I don't
even know how you contain it where you're like it
hasn't happened to me a long time, Like it would
happen to me all the time everything I get boogers
and just on everything. And that's just jizz.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Did you say jizz?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Anyways? My spirit is. It's just like an old thing
to say.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Now, that's a little raunchy.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I wasn't gonna tell you. I, Oh, my spirit's really good. Actually,
I'm kind of This week was really nice. I've just
been working a lot, drinking a lot of coffee, eating
a lot of food. I realized that I've been living
in a hoodie for like the past I don't know month.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Oh yeah, it's been big sweater season.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah it's cold. Yeah, it's so cold in La. I
was like, you for new photos to put on my
Tinder and my hinge profile, and I realized I was like, ah,
that that's a good profile. And I was like, oh,
I'm literally in a hoodie in all of my photos.
So anyways, but yeah, so I guess that brings us
to our topic of the day, which is goodbyes. I
(04:35):
wanted to talk about this because I feel like I
am terrible, Like I'm afraid of saying goodbye. Goodbye is
kind of really freaked me out in a lot of ways.
Not in a way that I'm paralyzed by it, but
I like they're very dramatic for me. They're very like
just like I was just listening to Anaga before and
(04:56):
she was just called Bestino and it's like and it's
like and I feel like that to me is what
a goodbye sounds like? Like it's just so much of
her songs.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
All of her songs are goodbye songs. Yeah, you know
what my NA would saying, like, do you know she's
a lesbian?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Oh? I know my mom too. Every time I'm like mom.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, her CD in the car, Yeah, nanny.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I think my mom's trying to relate to me.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
She just goes, you know she's a lesbian.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
But I feel like with me, I think I'm so
bad at saying goodbyes that I actually have had the
same best friends in my life since I was eight
years old. I'm still cool with all my ex boyfriends.
I still somehow keep in touch with a little bit
of people here and there. All the time, I feel
like I don't I'm not good at goodbyes. What about you?
(05:57):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
There's so many goodbye songs with the word goodbye. The
Beyonce song best I ever had by Beyonce. Thank God,
I've found the good and good. Thank God I found
the good and goodbye. I so much you so mad,
thank God, I found the good and goodbye.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
That's the truth, finding the good and goodbye. You know.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Well, in this episode, we basically want the intention to
be to talk more about goodbyes and just like to
make them a little easier. You know. I feel like
a lot of people don't want to talk about death
or the ending of things, and that's why they're so difficult.
Sometimes it's because we don't talk about it. Like I
(06:46):
think a lot of the things with my anxiety that
you kind of helped me with Curly, like what's the
worst possible thing that could happen? Like take your mind there,
Like okay, you get there, and so and so is
there and what do you do? You know? So I
feel like this is kind of like a healing moment
for everyone right now on the pod is just to
(07:06):
we're all sitting down. It's the end of the night.
It's like one in the morning. Nobody wants to leave yet,
so we're finding like random topics to talk about and
they might get a little deep. So just a little
bit of a trigger warning. But also I never leave
a phone call without saying goodbye. I'm never leaving phone
go saying like goodbye without saying I love you either
(07:27):
I say goodbye.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Love you me too.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I love you because I my anxiety will be like.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
If you don't say I love you, that could be
the last time that you could ever talk to them.
But again, and then you didn't say I love you.
And you know what, I don't know if it's like
very la or what, but I say I love you
to everyone. I'm like love you like I'm not like
a big like you know me, go, oh my god,
I can't say I love you. It's visit there. I mean,
do you like, I don't care whatever you're into. But
for me, I'm like even I feel like there's different
levels of love and I can love you. I can
(07:55):
absolutely be like, yeah, I've met them like five times
and I love them. They're amazing, you know. But I
do say that a lot because I don't want the
last thing again for them to hear or hear from me,
or the last thing for me to say is something
outside of like love, you know, right? But you know me,
I always want to do research. I always want to
find out like what is the reason why goodbyes are
(08:18):
so hard? And I couldn't really find a lot of research.
But the one thing that I could find was like
on some magazine. I think it was like psychology dot
com or something. I don't know if that's magazine website.
I don't be magazine. And they were talking about how
like goodbyes can be harder for different people because it
stimulates different parts of your brain. Of course, like everything,
every emotion is stimulated from something happening in your brain.
(08:39):
And it was saying that in some with some people,
the process the area of your brain that processes grief,
you know, is stimulated when you're saying goodbye. But for others,
the pain, the pain processing areas, but also the pleasure
parts are stimulated at the same time. So it can
get a little hard for people to kind of like
(08:59):
deal with goodbyes, sometimes more so than others. And so
I thought, oh, maybe that's me because I tend to
kind of like romanticize goodbyes in almost like a spiritual
romantic way, right, like, like, I'm so thankful for the
time that we had together. I'm so thankful for whether
(09:21):
it was a good experience a bad experience. You know,
we had somebody that was in our orbit for a while,
and when they left our orbit, I remember our last
day together and I was so sad to like have
them go. And even though it wasn't the most pleasurable experience,
I remember like going home and being like, thank you
(09:42):
so much life for that experience, Thank you so much
for that. It was hard, but it was beautiful and
like like so like there's a song in the goodbye
song like so glad we made it. Time will never
change it. And I think about, like, I'm so glad
that we made it, so glad that we came this far.
I'm sorry that it didn't work out. It's so sad
(10:04):
that we didn't have a good time together. But goodbye,
you know, but I think that it's still whether they're
good or bad goodbye is they do tend to be
kind of really hard on me.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I want to know first what kind of goodbye are you?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Do you say bye or bye bye or see you later,
like when you're leaving a party. I'm like, and how
do you say goodbye? That's what I want to know.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I always say bye, y'all, I'm out, No, you know me,
I'm out east, I'm out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
And you do a peace sign, yeah, come across the room.
And it's always me running to like what what are you.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Doing what I literally am out. I'm out, ease.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Bye, I give a hug, see you later. I have to.
I have to give hugs otherwise I feel like I
don't know. It's do you irish goodbye?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
No? Not with the people that I'm not like, No,
I don't. I usually say goodbye to the people that
invited me. I say goodbye to like key players at
the party, and then I leave key players. Otherwise you
guys will text me where'd you go? I'd rather just like, right,
where'd you go?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I left?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
You know what I left already down. But my favorite
thing is I'm always like to I'm like tutulu.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah. But goodbyes, when you say goodbyes, like I need
a specific like you know, there's so many different types.
So when you talk about goodbyes are being hard, like
what type of goodbyes?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I feel like, you know, goodbyes can be They're always different, right.
You can say goodbye to a friend, you can say
goodbye to a job, your co workers.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You can say yeah, they are hard for me. Yeah,
it is hard for me sometimes because it's hard. But
then it's not, I'm very much. I can be like, okay, bye,
see you later. I'm over this experience. I'm done, Like,
no hard feelings at all, I'm just when I'm done.
I'm done. When I want to leave, I want to
leave when I don't want to talk, I don't want
(12:03):
to talk. Like that's something that my parents are like,
it's very much like when they want to leave, when
they're ready to go, or when they're ready to leave
an experience or something, they're like, I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I don't have I have that at parties, but I
don't have that with like people, right. So, Like if
I'm at work or something and I'm leaving that job
and I'm thinking by my coworkers, it's not easy for
me to go, that's over. It's very hard for me
to not let me like it's.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Over as you're leaving the job.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Not for that, Yeah, like friendships, relationships, family, Like it's
if you're like, oh, I'm going to stay with you
for like a week when you leave, it's very hard
for me to go. Maybe that's like a codependent thing.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, all of a sudden of
my it's giving a little anxious attachment style.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Bab I'm all, where are you going I'm all like, honey,
I baked and anyways, I will say that, like in
(13:13):
saying goodbye is like we're gonna go between all of them, friendships, breakups, death,
like actually grieving. There are different types of goodbyes, right.
Some of them are absolutely necessary when you have to
say goodbye to somebody who's toxic, and then they're goodbyes
that you that are just kind of like forced. Somebody
breaks up with you, someone says goodbye to you. You know,
(13:34):
when do you think that for you, like in the
sake of like a friendship or a job, When do
you feel like goodbyes are necessary?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I think when my spirit feels like my time like
I have nothing else to gain, or like everything my
experience moving forward is just kind of like not the same,
you know. But that's I don't really think it's like
a goodbye. I think it's like a see you later.
I'm very much like a see you later where maybe
(14:01):
I will remove my energy as and and you know,
put it to someone else or something else who is
showing up for me in those ways, you know. So
I think it's I think I've been trying not to
associate like that with being mad that they I feel
(14:24):
disrespected that they're not showing up for me or whatever.
It's more so like accepting people where they're at. Yeah, yeah,
and that like at this point in my life, yes,
people can change, but most people are pretty settled in
their ways, you know, So who am I to be?
Like you need to change, I need to be called me,
(14:45):
call me moore, Like, I'm not going to do that,
Like I'm not going to force someone to do something
that they're not naturally doing. So I'm going to like
take a step back. I'm not going to say goodbye, though, But.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What about like like I've had I had a really
close friend of mine say goodbye to me. She was
just like, you're not capable of being the type of
friend that I need and I just feel like I
can't do this, and so I'm gonna have to say goodbye.
And and she was absolutely right, like I just couldn't.
I couldn't give that, you know, I didn't. I couldn't
(15:19):
hold the emotional space to do that. And so I
feel like, you know, it was necessary for her perhaps
to be able to set that boundary. And by the way,
we still we're still cool. We ended up. It was
it kind of was a little bit of a see
you later. But in terms of like, you know, somebody
breaking up with you or being like I have to go,
I think that that can be really painful. It can
(15:40):
activate a lot of parts of mentally of abandonment. It
can activate parts of you of like not feeling adequate
enough when people say goodbye. And I really think that
even when you're the one saying goodbye, I feel like
it could still activate parts of like abandonment. It could
feel like when something comes to an end and there's
(16:00):
a sense of loss, there's a sense of grief, and
so it's still really painful. I feel like for me,
goodbyes are necessary when they kind of become it's not
when this situation no longer serves you. Because Oprah often
says like, you know, when something no longer serves you,
like move on. I don't think that that's fair, because
(16:22):
a lot of people can be like you no longer
serve me, and it's like, bitch, I was never here
to serve you in the first place, where this relationship
is you know. But I think it's more of like
when something becomes toxic, when something becomes painful, when the
pain outweighs the good. I think that it is time
to say goodbye. It is time to go, you know what.
I've reached the glass ceiling in all capacities and at work,
(16:44):
in this friendship, in this relationship, like there's no growing
from here ceiling. We've hit the ceiling. And it's like
I have to go, and I love you, and I
thank you, and I honor the time that we had together,
and truly maya like, I've had so many instances where
spiritually I feel like I am on my knees, head
(17:07):
to the ground in awe and just so thankful for
no matter how fucked up these people were to me,
no matter how fucked up the toxic relationships were or
whatever happened between us, at some point, there was some goodness,
at some point there was some love. And I think
that honoring it in a way of saying like goodbye,
(17:31):
you know, like uh, farewell, you know, it allows me
to honor it, Vidas.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
And to you and you you know that's all. Oh well, well,
this is what I wanted to say. Also, is all
of this is kind of like letting go of an attachment,
like you're saying, And I think it's good to as
(18:01):
you get older, become more detached from people, from family,
from friends, from everything, from material objects, not in a
way of like you're isolating yourself, but that you're not
attached to the expectations of them or like even expectations
of yourself. I feel like, and this is like an
(18:21):
extreme way, because I feel like I was so overly
obsessive with like my community and my friend group and
my friends and like my family, my coworkers, to where
if anyone was mad at me or something, or if
anyone thought I was a bad friend and wanted to
say goodbye to me, it was like devastating, you know.
And I never would say goodbye to anyone because I'm like, well, why,
(18:45):
like there, I can still fit myself into being their
friend or fit myself into what they need me to be,
you know, And so I need to keep them. I
need to keep all these people. I need to keep
all these things. And I think it just got too
much to hold. Yeah, And now I feel like if
a friend wanted to be like, you know what, I'm
(19:07):
not getting what I need out of this friendship or whatever.
And if they just want to say goodbye, I'm not
gonna run after that or chase them, like if you're
ready to go, if you're done, then it's okay. You know,
if you don't feel like I was a good enough
friend for you to come to me and address certain things,
and if you have never addressed these things that do
(19:30):
you want to say goodbye to, like, then we were
not that good of friends anyway.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
So I think it's kind of being open to changes
and open that people are able to make their own
decisions and that at any time, you know, death is inevitable,
people can change their minds. So I'm not going to
hold on super tight to those types of things because
(19:55):
it just I feel like I didn't have enough time
for myself and I was saying good by to myself. WHOA.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I feel like I don't know how people used to
say goodbye to each other back in the day before
the internet, before telephones, like when they would go on
like the Oregon Trail or some ship or they had
to our families across the borders or do whatever. Organ trail, Yeah,
like didn't the settlers to old Yeah, there was like
a there was an old game called the organ Trail,
The organ Trail, isn't it called the organ trail.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
What do you what is the organ trail? Like organ
like Oregon. Okay, you're saying organ tapes.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Organ trail, don't. I'm not gonna Organ doesn't deserve the poses.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
An organ? Two different things? Are you an organ donor.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Oregon? You don't deserve the I don't say that.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Organ's pretty sorry organ?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Whatever is like if you're like, how did they? Because
for me, I'm like, oh, I don't. I can't imagine
being like see you never see you. Like I'm very
much like there's two types of things for me, Like
when we went to Hawaii with my best with my
best friends, with my cousins who are like some of
my closest friends too, when we were coming back, we cried,
(21:19):
you know, when we literally were getting on the plane
in Hawaii and we cried because we were like, we're
not going to see each other. Yeah, when I like
say goodbye to people at work, I cry. When I
graduated in eighth grade, I cry. When I leave some
of my best friend's houses that don't live here in
LA I cry, Like I'm just so like I get
so moved by the emotions and just so happy about.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Them because it's love, right, It's.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
So much love. It's so much love, and you're kind
of like, I'm going to miss you. And that's the
thing too, like I'm going to miss you.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, I had my I used to visit California all
the time when I lived in Arizona, and there was
one of my best friends and every single time we
had to leave each other from a trip, we would
sob we would cry and each other's arms. There was
this one time when they were dropping me off at
the airport and XO by Beyonce started playing and we
(22:16):
were crying, like just crying because like, I don't we
just every single time we hung out was on a trip,
so we only had like a week together and it
was like we were in we were on a cruise,
or we were in California doing something. And so that
(22:37):
song is a good goodbye song, like it's so freaking good.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
And that's the other part of it too, that when
they're good, you kind of go goodbye. I love you
and I'll miss you, you know, and it's kind of
just like the absence of somebody being there and you're like,
this is really painful, this is really hard, you know.
So I can see that being really intense I feel
(23:03):
like now in my age, like you know, I'm in
my late thirties now or going into my late thirties
this year, I'm thirty six. It's now. I am now
as of now, learning that I can say goodbye and
keep and lock that door and keep it away and
be like and still have the same emotions of like goodbye,
(23:25):
I love you, I can miss you, but stay away goodbye.
But I am learning that I have learned that as
an older person, and I just did not understand that
I had that capacity. I don't think that I had
that thing. I don't think that I had that When
I was younger. Everything was I's see you later.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
My mom calls it leaving the porch light on and
the screen door unlocked.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
But I feel like I'm there's some instances with some
people where you're just like, nope, turning the lights off.
There's no one home. Actually we moved. Actually the plot
has been the.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Entire building has been demolished, and now it's a kmart
and it's not open.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Is not open, it's not open. We actually are underground
three miles of worth of tunnel that you have undisclosed location.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
You can't find me, You'll never find me, don't try
forget about me, get your memory raised.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Don't even But what do you feel like in terms
of somebody who you know is anxious about either saying goodbye,
like what advice would you give them in terms of like,
you know, dealing with having to do it and then
dealing with having said it.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
If let's create a hypothetical scenario, so like let's say
they are they have talked to a friend or something
and they need to say tutulu bitch in a respectable
way to them. I would stand on your business. I
would say, like I would write down all the reasons
(24:59):
why you you want to do.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
This and.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Know that it's for you and it's for like boundaries
and mental health all that stuff, like really ground yourself
in that you are making a decision for yourself, not
based on ego, but more so like this this is
my boundary, you know, like, stand firm in the decision
because I'm very much like I will flip flop, you know,
(25:27):
I will be like during the conversation like, oh, I
don't actually want to say goodbye. Maybe we can fix
this or maybe we can, but if you're really serious
about it, it needs to be a one and done.
You know, cut the cord. Cut the cord. Well, I'm
better at that when it comes to people who have
severely disrespected my boundaries, for sure, for people who are
(25:49):
nice to me, if you're nice to me, I will
stick around for years.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I feel like for me, I'm just like whatever, Like
I don't care like it has to be I can
still be nice and still be cool, and Sty'll be
like whatever, like it's fine. I think that what tends
to happen with goodbyes is we tend to feel like
this is an end versus thinking about it as like
a new beginning, right, Like when you can say goodbye
to anybody a job, a person, a friend, you open
(26:31):
the door to new possibilities. You open the door to
people coming in and changing your life. You know, if
you say goodbye to a shitty partner, you invite different
energy to kind of maybe be what you're looking for,
or you learn new lessons. Like I'm not sure that
I have any sort of regrets in terms of any
job that I've ever said goodbye to, any partner, that
(26:52):
I've ever said goodbye to, any friends that I've ever
said goodbye to. I actually don't have any regrets because
it's opened up different parts of my life and who
I am now. Having learned all of those lessons has
really helped me, has really allowed me to grow. I
think the most impactful goodbye is death, right, like dealing
(27:12):
with dealing with death and grief and being able to
kind of be like there really is no way to
come back from that, and saying goodbye. I think that
that can be really hard. Grief in terms of dealing
with that is a whole nother of beests. But I
feel like knowing that goodbyes are a part of life.
(27:34):
They are just the inevitable. You say goodbye to your
friends in preschool, you say goodbye to your friends in
high school, college, whatever. You say goodbye to the person
you met at the sizzler for ten minutes, Like, it's
just a part.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Of what we can You got food poisoning.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Oh my god, I got food poisoning at Sizzlers.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm psychic and that's why I said, I said, because
you got food poisoning.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, I think just to too one time. Actually, I
think anyways, I let her tell that story, but we
I feel like, yeah, I think that it can be
It can be anxiety inducing but it is a part
of a part of it. And then once you do it,
just keep going. It's uh, it's something that I think
that if you felt they need to do it, it's
(28:15):
absolutely needed. A right and now for our SoC section,
we are going to be talking about which signs are
(28:36):
good at saying goodbye and which signs are not good
at being told goodbye? What do you think.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Capricorns are good at being a saying goodbye? Yeah? The
Earth signs are really good at saying goodbye, for sure,
all of them.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Burgle Taurus, Capricorn. I'm out just I just give them
a knife of slice through whatever, like you never existed.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
But also, y'all say goodbye, but you're still you're still creeping.
I feel it, and you'll admit it too, really, Virgos
will admit it, not you specifically, but like they'll admit
it for sure.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I definitely will say goodbye, but I always will keep like, no,
I'll say goodbye.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You say goodbye for yourself, but it's not actually goodbye.
Hold up, Capricorn, say goodbye. That's it. Virgos are little
fakers because they'll say it, but they won't actually do
it because they have their own ways okay, because they
want to see like was I actually I know I
(29:42):
was right, I know I was right, but I just
want to see I just want.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
To see it.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
And then they'll go back and be like, Yep, definitely right,
I was right. And then they'll go back and get
and be like wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
That was right. But virgos are always right. So what
about those Earth signs? What about the other Earth sign?
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, Taurus, they'll I think they've already said goodbye in
their mind a long time ago, but they're just kind
of waiting on you to do something, to be like Okay,
now I'm out, you know, give them a reason to leave.
I've experienced that firsthand.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
But I feel like Tauruses are also like give them
a few months and they're like, oh, I wonder, I
wonder how they My mom's a Taurus, my sister's a Taurus.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Sometimes they'll come back like nothing. Sometimes they'll come back
like nothing, like didn't you just make a big stink
about like a dramatic think about how you deserve better?
Go deserve better?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah. I feel like fire signs are kind of like
that too, though I feel like Leo's are very stubborn
with that like fuck that, I'm out. I don't give
a shit. But I feel like aries are very open
to like burning shit down. And then I think that
because aries are known for me, they know that they
can be reactive. I think that they'll doubt their decision
too and be like, oh shit.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
That I Here's the thing is, sometimes we will self
sabotage so much to where we are forced to say
goodbye because we've done too much creeper shit, you know,
to be like I already burned this down, so what
more can I do?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Yeah, Saga's already gone.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah they left at the beginning of the podcast. Any
of this episode, they're like, goodbye is what is?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
No bye? Sages are just waiting for you to fucking
crack the champagne on their ship, on their little boats.
They can be like I think scorpios.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Scorpios are like they'll say goodbye, but they have to
make it a big fanfare sometimes or or slip out
like and be like bye. It just I just feel
like they're very dramatic, and I'm just kind of like, girl,
you didn't have to do all that.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
You have to do all that say goodbye when they're
like lowering you to the ground and throwing frame over
your grape.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Like that's what That's what I'm saying. But it has
to be a big it has to be like a
big kind of thing, because or they will leave without
saying goodbye and make a big deal about that. Like
I feel like scorpios are they want to be like
so mysterious, so fucking bad, but I'm so sorry. Like
(32:25):
I think aries can see right through that. I can
see right through every single scorpio and I love it.
I'm here for the theatrics. I will help you get
more dirt so you can throw it on their coffin.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, I feel I feel like scorpio energy because I'm
double scorpio. I feel like it's less about like wanting
to be mysterious. I think there's just parts of the
scorpio that just are and so I think that like
the goodbye is kind of like oh, like I don't know,
like you, I don't know. I feel like I'm thinking
about all the scorpions in my life and I and
I just I feel like they're all like burrow, burrowers burrow,
(33:00):
like like the little animals are like burrow underground. That's
how I think of them. Like I think of them
as like just all like the scorpions, like exactly that
like just going in and being like yeah, I get it.
I think the other water signs like cancer and Pisces.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Pisces will not say goodbye at all. I mean, Pisce's
men will not say. They don't say goodbye to me.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I feel like Pisces, it takes them a lot to
say goodbye. But once they do, you do not exist.
Like you have never existed. You were never born, you
don't have a birth certificate, there was never any like
egg to sperm contact. You are you are wiped just
into the black hole of existence. That's it. Like Pisces
(33:49):
are just like when they're through, they're through. I'm like hello,
and I'm like hello Pisces, and I'm like hello, hello, hello, hello,
And they.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Just don't because they turned their usibility cloak on.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
They're there. They're there. Cancers, I feel.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Like cans are dramatic.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I feel like I feel like they've already taken notes
of all the ways that you've heard him whoa them,
not him. Cancers will take notes on how you've hurt them,
and so when they say goodbye, it's based off of
all of that, Like I'm gone because of this. Air
(34:27):
Sins don't care. They don't have they don't have souls,
they don't have motions, they don't care.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Air signs I don't know many they are. Air signs
are the true mysterious ones. Honestly, they don't have to
they don't have to make an aesthetic. Sometimes they just are.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
They just are.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Yeah they Gemini, yeah, Geminis. You won't know if they've
said goodbye to you, but you'll know if you don't
get a Christmas card that year. I didn't get a
Christmas card Gemini. This year, I'm like, oh fuck, okay.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah, Joyce, where were you this Christmas?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yeah? And and Aquarius are they don't care about like
I mean, they're so like against anything society wants or
themes acceptable that they're just they do with things their
own way. So they're they're not even checked in. They're
on another planet right now.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
My dad's an Aquarius. My dad says goodbye to people
like there's a moment. My dad's very like not even
just like a goodbye or like a final thing or
something that broke the camel's back. It's literally just like
like a gradient like a fade out and then the
whole new life like that never existed. That just they
My dad is like.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Oh my god, that's so true. I I Yeah, I
have an aquarius ex who literally has lived like five
hundred thousand lives where I'm like, damn boy, last a
couple of years ago, you wanted to make me move
in with me, and now you got another girl pregnant.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Damn girl. Okay, another girl pregnant because you didn't get pregnant,
but like a girl pregnant he got.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
He got a girl pregnant after me, and then again
like ten years he came back ten years later and
then he got another girl pregnant. So he has two
baby mamas that are not me.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Oh, I know exactly who we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, do you love me?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Not sorry, libras, they're good.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
You're good at my book, baby.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Yeah, maya. How do you plead on goodbyes?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Bye? I go to my mom. My mom goes bye
bye bye bye bye bye bye. I go bye bye.
And when I talked to my little nephew, I go
bye baby bye bye.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Bite. Every time we hang out, but go well, we
always do that with each other. We'll talk for like
three hours, like.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Well, text I always go my my out is text me.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So I hit drive later.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah, I always like text me love you.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
I did want to say. Goodbyes are hard. You're not alone.
Whether you're saying goodbye to your friend, your lover, your situationship,
your coworkers, or death or an identity or that crazy
little white hair that grows out in the middle of your
forehead all of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Or on your cheek like the top of your cheek.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
They can be hard, but they sometimes are very necessary,
and so if you're going through it, just be kind
to yourself, be kind to others. Try to send them
off with a lot of love. Uh And in the
words of the Spice Girls, look the rainbow and every storm,
(38:03):
find out for ser and Love's gonna be there for you.
Click yeah perfect, Okay.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast Curly. How can They
Find You? On social media?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
You can find me at the Curly V Show on
TikTok Instagram. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, n
A y A in the Moment, anywhere online because we're
chronically online love you bye.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
You're shaking my titties right now.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Oh, make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear
more episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club
podcast is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's
Michael Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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