June 22, 2022 • 24 mins
On this episode Curly and Maya discuss queerness. Why do people care so much about labels and definitions? To clarify attractions, Maya confesses and Curly gives advice to be comfortable with oneself.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, everyone, Happy Pride. Every month for us is Pride Month.
But this week we thought we would share an episode
that originally aired on January where we talk about queer news.
Keep celebrating, Happy Bride, Happy Pride. You a little queer babies,
you little cubis? Hey, what are you doing in here?
(00:25):
Let's the past word? What you're queer? You don't even
need a password? Didn't hear you a little queer? My
name is Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the
Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. A super secret club where
we talk about super secret things, a super secret, more
time super secret. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men,
(00:49):
and of course our favorite secrets. Well, I had a
teacher called me queer one time. I know she was
a nun. Whatever. He's probably in Pergector somewhere now. We
love starting out our podcast with dissendence. Well, well, back
(01:12):
again with another episode of the Super Secret Festie Club Podcast.
Today we're gonna be talking about queerness and intersectionality within
our identity as Latina people, and we're just going to
start off with how do we identify? Yeah, how do you?
(01:32):
I've said this before on TikTok. I think I don't remember,
but I do not identify as straight. Why what um?
So well you've known that? When did I tell you
about of you so quirky, of you so quirky? When
(01:56):
did I tell you that curly that you were queer? Yeah,
I don't even know. I assume everybody is queer, to
be honest thing, I think everyone's queer to a certain degree,
whether they want to admit it or not. And I'm like,
who cares? Yeah, Listen, from an early age, when I
first saw Atlantis and I saw my little thatch hottie,
and I saw Princess Keita, and I was like, one
(02:20):
side of your vagin it was like yes, and the
other side same. I was like what uh? And as
Moralda had a big crush in as Maralda. As Moralda.
But there's strong women, they're strong, and I just I'm
just like, tell me what to do, fem top. I
(02:43):
don't know, see. And that's the thing, is I d
K my queerness answers. I d K. I'm at the
very beginning of everything. I've known this all my life,
but it's been something that like I never want to say,
me too. Yeah, I'm also I'm I'm this, and I'm
not not that anyone else does that. I want to
be very gentle and kind of keep and keep this
(03:04):
to myself until I really know what it is. And
obviously I'm coming out with it publicly now, but I
just I'm in discovery and I am very much just
trying to see what I like and what I don't like.
And what I do know is that I'm not just straight.
I don't just like men like I just you know,
(03:24):
it's like everyone, it's everyone, but not just anyone. Yeah,
it's I don't know. I d kay is the thing.
I think that's the beauty of queerness. I think that
is a great way to describe it. Actually, is it?
It isn't I d K And I think that the
fact that you are still I d kaying and you're
still figuring it all out, It's part of the beauty
of identifying as queer because there's not just one box.
(03:45):
A friend of mine is study was asking me like,
why don't you identify as gay? And I'm like, I
don't know. Gay to me feels like it's I'm in
a box. It also feels very white to me. Um
and I feel like queer kind of gives me the
opportunity to kind of be like, Look, i've pugged up
with women before, I looked up with women identifying people.
I wouldn't rule it out, and but my default is man.
(04:06):
I love man. I love a good jick. As you know.
I have to give you credit because every single time
you say that word, you always say it's so creatively.
I think I say it the same way all the time. Look,
I love it, I love a good pair of balls.
I'm here for it. But Jesus, I mean not Jesus,
don't come in here. Jesus is like, yes, Jesus. You
(04:32):
know what Jesus is probably queer too. I know that
my Gus the airplane is Jesus coming in and be like,
I am not queer. My Jesus in my head is queer.
I'm not talking about your Jesus. So if you get mad,
whatever that's on you. Um. I identify as a queer
individual both in the way that I expressed myself through
gender and in what I like in bed. I think
(04:52):
the closest thing that actually describes what I am is
called andro sexual, and that's somebody who tend to be
attracted to people who are masculine presenting, So I actually
don't care what you're working with or what you may
have been assigned at birth if you are more masculine
and you're gonna kind of take care of me and
not take care of me like taking any but like
(05:14):
you know, dumb me. I'm ready. I'm ready to be
You are so creative with your words currently, definitely very
bouncy in the way that I talk all the time.
You know what I don't get is why the Straights.
I don't get them either. I like everyone. I think
everyone is beautiful and attractive, and it's very hard for
me to date in general because I am attracted to
(05:36):
personality and conversation and it's hard for me to call
something that what's that called sapio sexual. See, I have
no idea about any of this. I just know what
I know. I don't mean to interrupt you, but I'm
going to interrupt you. Um. Sapio sexual is a person
finding intelligence, sexually attractive, or arousing. Yeah, it's that. It's
very that I don't I've never been the person to
(05:58):
be like I mean, I can I can see that,
oh this person is attractive, but never in my life
have I been like, oh my god, I want to
have sex with them. It's just it's just is not
a thing. And I think knowing that, like there was
a little bit of shame for me growing up, knowing
that I was queer and like had crushes on girls
and all that stuff. It was confusing because you know,
(06:21):
you you grow up in society and it's either like
you're gay or you're straight, and that's it. Yeah, I
mean that's all we had growing up. It was like
gay straight by that's it, or people have trans experience,
and it was like, well, how do I fit into
those different And I felt like a lot of pressure
to come out or say things because I was like,
am I doing a disservice to people who need that representation?
(06:42):
But I'm also like I want to protect myself and
like when I'm ready to say things, which now I
am obviously on this podcast, um, I will say them. Um.
And I don't feel like I need to have a
whole thing like a post about it. And that's just me.
But I admire a lot of people who do that
and support but it was it took it's still taking
(07:04):
a lot for me to come to terms with what
exactly my identity is, but I know the beginning stages
of it, you know, Yeah, I mean it's always a
whole different ball game for queer kids, right because I
always say, on top of the fact that we all
have to grow up in the closet, we all have
to grow up like um hiding, I always say like
whenever people are like, why are queer people? Why are
(07:26):
gay men so aggressive with the way that they fly?
And or why are lesbians cell that's or why are
I'm like, we literally have had to learn how to
be social and how to move in this social construct
in the closet in the dark. Of course we're going
to be a little awkward about ship like of course
we're going to suck up like You've had every opportunity
to learn by you, I mean, shape people. People have
(07:47):
had every opportunity to figure out what is acceptable, what
is good, what is not like out in the open,
and we haven't. And on top of all of that,
when you come from a community of color or a
culture that is not white or American. And also this
isn't to say that like white folk in America don't
experience this either, but you know, coming from a Latin family,
(08:07):
Latino family, lat the next family. We deal with a
lot of things, and you know, part of the things
that we talking about like machismo, and like machismo as
always seen as a currency, even like with some of
our women, right like no, I don't need this, and
like I'm gonna be strong. I'm gonna like they act
like they have to be ruthless. It's okay to be soft,
and it's okay to be I don't want to say
(08:29):
fam and equate them with soft because you know, I
just don't get why people are so interested in who
we want to love and kiss and marry or people
love sex, whether or not people want to acknowledge that
people love sex and you want to talk about it.
I don't get why people get offend. I mean, I
get it, but I don't. I just don't get the
logic of like, I'm mad that you want to kiss
(08:49):
another guy, like I mean, and who am I to you? Like?
Why should you care about what I'm saying? Me as
saying as a stranger, who would say that other people?
I want to rub Michael hound someone else, it's going
to have It's fine, you know. I think it's because
we're all a mirror of each other, and maybe it's
like some internal thing where maybe they had I'm talking
(09:10):
about like the gatekeepers are just the haters of queerness
and everything, Like maybe they had an experience where they
were shamed because they were a little too firm, or
they were showing signs of like queerness or whatever and
got shamed for it. I equate this to my experience
learning Spanish because a lot of people would say, why
are you so confident about something that you should be
(09:31):
ashamed about? People are are afraid to go against the
grain in that way, and so for me, I'm like,
you know, as I'm discovering all of these things about
myself and just always knowing how people are just so
weird about LGBTQ plus all the things, all the letters.
(09:53):
I don't get it. It's just is so like, why
does it matter to you what we know? People are
People always are trying to get up other people's business.
People are always like, but the Bible says, let me
the funk alone and let me live my little life
with my partner. We have a dog, we have a
white picket fans. We order from Whole Foods and we
do organic. I know that you said that you felt
(10:24):
something in your pants when you watched Atlantis in my
pajamas and your Oh, I keep thinking that you're going
to say a whole different word. I think you're gonna
say in my pagina, in my pa junor in my pajuna. Okay,
(10:44):
So what was like your first experience within the queer community,
you mean, like when was your your first kind of like, oh, oh, okay, well,
I don't want to give this away. She's probably not
gonna listen to this ever. But there was this guitarist
of this artist that I really love. Do you remember this? Remember?
(11:07):
And I was like, oh my god, she's so cute.
She played You know what really gets me is musicians
and anybody. What was that? I opened my opened my
mouth to yawn, and then I was like, I want
to say, Okay, I'm gonna need you to just put
(11:28):
it on. You keep on. You're wild and out on
this one, wild and out and out anyway, Okay, uh, yeah,
there's this girl. She's a guitarist. And I love people
(11:48):
who play any instrument, but also just whatever they're passionate about.
If they're passionate about book keeping, yes, anything that shows
me that they're passionate about something. For me, it just
that's like a yes, ding ding ding love it. So
she obviously very talented guitarist and musician, and I saw her,
(12:14):
and you know, I started following her on Instagram and
then I went to the concert and like tagged her
in a video because I was like, let me just say,
and she followed me and we were like talking, but
I got so shy. I always get so shy because
something she's cooler and I don't know, but that was
(12:35):
one of the not the first, very first time, but
that was the first time in this like part of
my life as an adult, I would love to pursue
something because I've always been very concerned about my career
more than love. I would go on the apps and
everything here and there and like have relationships, but just
it just wasn't important to me, and this was different.
(12:57):
This was like, huh, I like the person and it's
not a guy. Interesting, isn't it. I love that. I
wish they have more straight people and that that you're
calling you straight, But I wish that people who identify
a straight would be more open about the possibility of
really sharing in some experiences with people who are just
not necessarily within the gender that they think. You know, yeah,
(13:19):
that was the thing, and it's very complex because like
I've known all my life that I'm like, hmmm, I
don't just like men, but I know that I can't
say that right now because I don't know what I feel,
so I'm going to continue being whatever. And so now
that I'm kind of like more comfortable in it, and
I feel a little bit embarrassed honestly, to be like
(13:42):
that was my first kind of thing. Oh my god.
I hope like a lot of people can relate to
this too. I just feel like a lot of people
are way more advanced in their queerness and can say
what they like and act on it. And I'm still
at the beginning stages of all that stuff. But that
was like my first kind of like, oh my god,
I'm like a gay queer. I'm like, I don't really
(14:06):
say gay, but I'm like, I'm like a big queer grandma.
I don't know if you heard me queer, big queer grandma.
You got to hear your big grandma. We're just bury me.
I just feel like, you know, I came out when
I was thirteen. I started going to gay clubs. When
I was twelve of their team. Um, there was a
club out here now like called Arena. When you're thirteen, Yeah,
(14:29):
I went to this club called the Arena. It was
so dope. It was predominantly Latino, black, brown, Asian like,
it was predominantly BOC and all kids that liked hip
hop culture. And so it was queer in hip hop.
And so the way that we dressed, like our style
icons were Missy Elliott, Sean Paul, Sean Ball, and the
(14:52):
way that we kind of moved in the queer world
was like we weren't about Brittany, like we like Brittany,
but it was like what's Sierra doing? Sears like I'm
gonna play Jesus and what went bio? Because there was
like a chicken dancing on a super Bowl and keep
your Hands Off. When I discovered that song, I was like,
(15:14):
oh my god, this song is so good. And somebody
was like, that's au meme with the chicken dance on poles?
Is the chicken dancing on a pole? Chicken on a pole? Um?
But no, that was like my first thing, And I mean, look,
I love being queer. I to me, somebody says to me,
one time that the reason why people get so upset
(15:36):
with queer people is because queer people have had to
pretend to be one thing for so long that when
they finally come out, they can be all of it
and straight SI and sis het people have a fear
because they still live in their boxes. They don't understand
that you can be anything that you want to be.
You can present however you want to present, where whatever
(15:58):
you want to wear, and you can still be a
whole and complete human being. And I really really love that.
I really resonated me because I love it. I love
being queer. We can do so much, say so much, dance,
we can cry, we can duke it out and fight
it out, we can be masked, fem strong, sobb I
don't know, I facking love it. I do want to say,
(16:21):
leaning into who you are it's one of the most
liberating things in the whole wide world. If you can't
do it, it's also okay. It's a privilege to be
able to come out. It's a privilege to be able
to identify as you are and exist as you are
out in the open. There are still laws in the world.
There are still murders of people in your very own
United States, where people can't be themselves. Have had a
(16:42):
really great support system, and when I told them about
all these things, I feel like people were not as surprised,
and that what made me feel a little bit better,
just because if you can, like you know, there's like
your chosen family. Sometimes people are not going to get
you even though their blood and that's fine, but I
really find comfort in like the support system I have
(17:03):
out here. Um, when I told my parents, they didn't
really care, like okay, like, yeah, I love whoever you
want as long as you're happy, like love is love.
They pulled the you know, love is love and like
all right, well, and I've told them about different queer
people that I have been interested in and they're like,
oh cool, And that is a privilege. People don't get
(17:25):
that a lot, and I acknowledge that not safe. So
I totally get chosen family and like the value in that,
because it sucks when your family just doesn't get you
and shames you. And it's like, man, I was born
in this family and you guys don't like me. I
wanted to say it to like just growing up in
(17:45):
Latina family, Um, it was hard. It was really hard.
Growing up, like my parents would make me walk, would
make me practice walking back and forth because I didn't
walk masculine enough. They were not very happy about the
way that I moved my hands a lot when I talked.
I was emulating people that I looked up to in
my family, which just so happened to be the women.
And I love the way that women move their hands
(18:06):
when they talk. I love how graceful they are, and
so for me, that's what I emulated, even down to
I didn't take off my shirt for a very long time,
of course, because of body dysmorphia. But I remember specifically
being a very young kid and noticing, Um, I was
in a pool, and I noticed that none of the
women were showing their bodies, and so I remember being like, oh, well,
(18:27):
then I too will not show my body. But it
was something that I was dealing with growing up as
a queer kid, and my parents were just kind of
didn't know how to handle that. Why don't you take
your shirt off, you're a guy, Why don't you do this?
Why do you walk like that? So it was definitely
very hard being a queer kid, and so I understand
when people feel like they can't come out. And then
(18:49):
the other thing too, is like our own idea of
gender roles within the community, right, like how women are
expected to act and how men are expected to act.
(19:11):
Alrighty guys, here we are again with your favorite segment,
astrology astrolangicles. Is that how you say, do you pronounce
the astrolangic lanes? Astrological? I guess I never thought about it.
Which sign do you think is the gayest sign? Ever?
That what I was thinking, what ends? Oh, that's we're asking.
(19:34):
I don't know. I feel like burgos are really gay.
To be honest, every time I meet a straight sis
I did date somebody and then somebody else grew up
with them. They're like, yeah, he's very like metro sexual.
I'm like, why did you have to say like that
he's a little gay? And you know what I think
he I think I think he's like fluid. I think
(19:58):
he was fluid, which was fine. I was is attracted
to him no matter what, because he was like into writing,
and I was like, I don't care it is. Oh,
I know, just because someone's a geek or a door
doesn't mean that they're gay. But you know what I
read somewhere that they were saying that Virgos tends to
skew more feminine anyways. I mean the symbol is it's
(20:20):
a woman tend to be a little bit more feminine anyway.
So I always think, are they European? Are they virgo?
You know what, I wonder if there's anything in our charts,
and I wish I had accurate information to show that
we're fluid or to show that our queerness. There has
to be something in there. You know, there's um something
(20:41):
in your chart that can show you how big your PEPs?
Oh my god, I didn't know that. Who do he
thinks the most? Butch? I don't know. I can't get
That's why I'm like, I can't give you. I can't
give you much. I'm like, is it aries? We always
talking about aries in virgos? Basically? I know, I'm so
sorry to be the most the ones that I think
(21:02):
are the most Butch Capricorn's butch aries Butch? Why you
got to say it like that, though, tourists is butch?
Are you going to say like that? It just sounds aggressive,
right like he like butch, he's butch, she's butch. That
doesn't even sound like a word sound a word anymore,
(21:23):
like whenever you say, but you gotta, you gotta hear
the bicep in the word butch, you got to hear
the well. That is includes our astrology section of the podcast. Basically, look,
however you identify who cares somebody's business, You don't have
to live in one box, living all the boxes. Do
it up. Be the I d K, suck a dick,
look a pus, look whatever is in between, sucker, booty holes,
(21:48):
live it up. I love when you say sucker, suck
them in the neck, suck them in the next Curly
has been saying that a lot lately, like like, don't
you just want to suck them in the neck? I'm like,
that is something I never ever thought would ever cross
my mind. And I'm like, it doesn't even sound that intense,
Like what does that do for you? It sounds funny
(22:13):
to say, Yeah, we used to say I will cut you.
What do we maybe like, I will cut you in
the eyebrow, like in the eyebrow, or I will I
will kick you in the eyebrows? What we used to say?
I used to say when I was little, I'll kick
you in the shin, in the shin, you know, yes,
queerness is beautiful. And I guess I kind of came
(22:34):
out on the podcast a little bit. Is that acreate? Like,
did you just come out to everybody? I guess? Where's
my freaking party? What the heck? This is the worst
party ever? Where's her? I d K float, Where's Where's
where the campaigns for the KA? Where my campaigns for
the I d K Now? I don't really care. I
(22:56):
just love who you want to love and who cares.
Be yourselves of each other. Be kind, It doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter what you're into. It's fine, it's
not that serious. Just be okay with yourself. That that
is all that matters. And maybe yes, be kind, be
kind rewind. Thank you everyone so much for listening to
this episode. We hope you enjoyed it, and please leave
(23:18):
us some comments or d ms on ideas for future episodes.
We want to hear from you, and if you want
to hit us up on social media, please feel free
to do that as well. All right, man, where can
people find you on social media? You can find me
at Mine, the Moment, m A y A and the
Moment on all social media platforms, baby, and you can
find me on TikTok and Instagram at the Curly v Show.
(23:40):
By Anyways, a little get out of here, you little queers.
The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast is a production of
Sono in partnership with iHeart Radios Michael Podcast Network. For
more podcast from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app,
(24:02):
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
H
Hey, everyone, Happy Pride. Every month for us is Pride Month.
But this week we thought we would share an episode
that originally aired on January where we talk about queer news.
Keep celebrating, Happy Bride, Happy Pride. You a little queer babies,
you little cubis? Hey, what are you doing in here?
(00:25):
Let's the past word? What you're queer? You don't even
need a password? Didn't hear you a little queer? My
name is Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the
Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. A super secret club where
we talk about super secret things, a super secret, more
time super secret. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men,
(00:49):
and of course our favorite secrets. Well, I had a
teacher called me queer one time. I know she was
a nun. Whatever. He's probably in Pergector somewhere now. We
love starting out our podcast with dissendence. Well, well, back
(01:12):
again with another episode of the Super Secret Festie Club Podcast.
Today we're gonna be talking about queerness and intersectionality within
our identity as Latina people, and we're just going to
start off with how do we identify? Yeah, how do you?
(01:32):
I've said this before on TikTok. I think I don't remember,
but I do not identify as straight. Why what um?
So well you've known that? When did I tell you
about of you so quirky, of you so quirky? When
(01:56):
did I tell you that curly that you were queer? Yeah,
I don't even know. I assume everybody is queer, to
be honest thing, I think everyone's queer to a certain degree,
whether they want to admit it or not. And I'm like,
who cares? Yeah, Listen, from an early age, when I
first saw Atlantis and I saw my little thatch hottie,
and I saw Princess Keita, and I was like, one
(02:20):
side of your vagin it was like yes, and the
other side same. I was like what uh? And as
Moralda had a big crush in as Maralda. As Moralda.
But there's strong women, they're strong, and I just I'm
just like, tell me what to do, fem top. I
(02:43):
don't know, see. And that's the thing, is I d
K my queerness answers. I d K. I'm at the
very beginning of everything. I've known this all my life,
but it's been something that like I never want to say,
me too. Yeah, I'm also I'm I'm this, and I'm
not not that anyone else does that. I want to
be very gentle and kind of keep and keep this
(03:04):
to myself until I really know what it is. And
obviously I'm coming out with it publicly now, but I
just I'm in discovery and I am very much just
trying to see what I like and what I don't like.
And what I do know is that I'm not just straight.
I don't just like men like I just you know,
(03:24):
it's like everyone, it's everyone, but not just anyone. Yeah,
it's I don't know. I d kay is the thing.
I think that's the beauty of queerness. I think that
is a great way to describe it. Actually, is it?
It isn't I d K And I think that the
fact that you are still I d kaying and you're
still figuring it all out, It's part of the beauty
of identifying as queer because there's not just one box.
(03:45):
A friend of mine is study was asking me like,
why don't you identify as gay? And I'm like, I
don't know. Gay to me feels like it's I'm in
a box. It also feels very white to me. Um
and I feel like queer kind of gives me the
opportunity to kind of be like, Look, i've pugged up
with women before, I looked up with women identifying people.
I wouldn't rule it out, and but my default is man.
(04:06):
I love man. I love a good jick. As you know.
I have to give you credit because every single time
you say that word, you always say it's so creatively.
I think I say it the same way all the time. Look,
I love it, I love a good pair of balls.
I'm here for it. But Jesus, I mean not Jesus,
don't come in here. Jesus is like, yes, Jesus. You
(04:32):
know what Jesus is probably queer too. I know that
my Gus the airplane is Jesus coming in and be like,
I am not queer. My Jesus in my head is queer.
I'm not talking about your Jesus. So if you get mad,
whatever that's on you. Um. I identify as a queer
individual both in the way that I expressed myself through
gender and in what I like in bed. I think
(04:52):
the closest thing that actually describes what I am is
called andro sexual, and that's somebody who tend to be
attracted to people who are masculine presenting, So I actually
don't care what you're working with or what you may
have been assigned at birth if you are more masculine
and you're gonna kind of take care of me and
not take care of me like taking any but like
(05:14):
you know, dumb me. I'm ready. I'm ready to be
You are so creative with your words currently, definitely very
bouncy in the way that I talk all the time.
You know what I don't get is why the Straights.
I don't get them either. I like everyone. I think
everyone is beautiful and attractive, and it's very hard for
me to date in general because I am attracted to
(05:36):
personality and conversation and it's hard for me to call
something that what's that called sapio sexual. See, I have
no idea about any of this. I just know what
I know. I don't mean to interrupt you, but I'm
going to interrupt you. Um. Sapio sexual is a person
finding intelligence, sexually attractive, or arousing. Yeah, it's that. It's
very that I don't I've never been the person to
(05:58):
be like I mean, I can I can see that,
oh this person is attractive, but never in my life
have I been like, oh my god, I want to
have sex with them. It's just it's just is not
a thing. And I think knowing that, like there was
a little bit of shame for me growing up, knowing
that I was queer and like had crushes on girls
and all that stuff. It was confusing because you know,
(06:21):
you you grow up in society and it's either like
you're gay or you're straight, and that's it. Yeah, I
mean that's all we had growing up. It was like
gay straight by that's it, or people have trans experience,
and it was like, well, how do I fit into
those different And I felt like a lot of pressure
to come out or say things because I was like,
am I doing a disservice to people who need that representation?
(06:42):
But I'm also like I want to protect myself and
like when I'm ready to say things, which now I
am obviously on this podcast, um, I will say them. Um.
And I don't feel like I need to have a
whole thing like a post about it. And that's just me.
But I admire a lot of people who do that
and support but it was it took it's still taking
(07:04):
a lot for me to come to terms with what
exactly my identity is, but I know the beginning stages
of it, you know, Yeah, I mean it's always a
whole different ball game for queer kids, right because I
always say, on top of the fact that we all
have to grow up in the closet, we all have
to grow up like um hiding, I always say like
whenever people are like, why are queer people? Why are
(07:26):
gay men so aggressive with the way that they fly?
And or why are lesbians cell that's or why are
I'm like, we literally have had to learn how to
be social and how to move in this social construct
in the closet in the dark. Of course we're going
to be a little awkward about ship like of course
we're going to suck up like You've had every opportunity
to learn by you, I mean, shape people. People have
(07:47):
had every opportunity to figure out what is acceptable, what
is good, what is not like out in the open,
and we haven't. And on top of all of that,
when you come from a community of color or a
culture that is not white or American. And also this
isn't to say that like white folk in America don't
experience this either, but you know, coming from a Latin family,
(08:07):
Latino family, lat the next family. We deal with a
lot of things, and you know, part of the things
that we talking about like machismo, and like machismo as
always seen as a currency, even like with some of
our women, right like no, I don't need this, and
like I'm gonna be strong. I'm gonna like they act
like they have to be ruthless. It's okay to be soft,
and it's okay to be I don't want to say
(08:29):
fam and equate them with soft because you know, I
just don't get why people are so interested in who
we want to love and kiss and marry or people
love sex, whether or not people want to acknowledge that
people love sex and you want to talk about it.
I don't get why people get offend. I mean, I
get it, but I don't. I just don't get the
logic of like, I'm mad that you want to kiss
(08:49):
another guy, like I mean, and who am I to you? Like?
Why should you care about what I'm saying? Me as
saying as a stranger, who would say that other people?
I want to rub Michael hound someone else, it's going
to have It's fine, you know. I think it's because
we're all a mirror of each other, and maybe it's
like some internal thing where maybe they had I'm talking
(09:10):
about like the gatekeepers are just the haters of queerness
and everything, Like maybe they had an experience where they
were shamed because they were a little too firm, or
they were showing signs of like queerness or whatever and
got shamed for it. I equate this to my experience
learning Spanish because a lot of people would say, why
are you so confident about something that you should be
(09:31):
ashamed about? People are are afraid to go against the
grain in that way, and so for me, I'm like,
you know, as I'm discovering all of these things about
myself and just always knowing how people are just so
weird about LGBTQ plus all the things, all the letters.
(09:53):
I don't get it. It's just is so like, why
does it matter to you what we know? People are
People always are trying to get up other people's business.
People are always like, but the Bible says, let me
the funk alone and let me live my little life
with my partner. We have a dog, we have a
white picket fans. We order from Whole Foods and we
do organic. I know that you said that you felt
(10:24):
something in your pants when you watched Atlantis in my
pajamas and your Oh, I keep thinking that you're going
to say a whole different word. I think you're gonna
say in my pagina, in my pa junor in my pajuna. Okay,
(10:44):
So what was like your first experience within the queer community,
you mean, like when was your your first kind of like, oh, oh, okay, well,
I don't want to give this away. She's probably not
gonna listen to this ever. But there was this guitarist
of this artist that I really love. Do you remember this? Remember?
(11:07):
And I was like, oh my god, she's so cute.
She played You know what really gets me is musicians
and anybody. What was that? I opened my opened my
mouth to yawn, and then I was like, I want
to say, Okay, I'm gonna need you to just put
(11:28):
it on. You keep on. You're wild and out on
this one, wild and out and out anyway, Okay, uh, yeah,
there's this girl. She's a guitarist. And I love people
(11:48):
who play any instrument, but also just whatever they're passionate about.
If they're passionate about book keeping, yes, anything that shows
me that they're passionate about something. For me, it just
that's like a yes, ding ding ding love it. So
she obviously very talented guitarist and musician, and I saw her,
(12:14):
and you know, I started following her on Instagram and
then I went to the concert and like tagged her
in a video because I was like, let me just say,
and she followed me and we were like talking, but
I got so shy. I always get so shy because
something she's cooler and I don't know, but that was
(12:35):
one of the not the first, very first time, but
that was the first time in this like part of
my life as an adult, I would love to pursue
something because I've always been very concerned about my career
more than love. I would go on the apps and
everything here and there and like have relationships, but just
it just wasn't important to me, and this was different.
(12:57):
This was like, huh, I like the person and it's
not a guy. Interesting, isn't it. I love that. I
wish they have more straight people and that that you're
calling you straight, But I wish that people who identify
a straight would be more open about the possibility of
really sharing in some experiences with people who are just
not necessarily within the gender that they think. You know, yeah,
(13:19):
that was the thing, and it's very complex because like
I've known all my life that I'm like, hmmm, I
don't just like men, but I know that I can't
say that right now because I don't know what I feel,
so I'm going to continue being whatever. And so now
that I'm kind of like more comfortable in it, and
I feel a little bit embarrassed honestly, to be like
(13:42):
that was my first kind of thing. Oh my god.
I hope like a lot of people can relate to
this too. I just feel like a lot of people
are way more advanced in their queerness and can say
what they like and act on it. And I'm still
at the beginning stages of all that stuff. But that
was like my first kind of like, oh my god,
I'm like a gay queer. I'm like, I don't really
(14:06):
say gay, but I'm like, I'm like a big queer grandma.
I don't know if you heard me queer, big queer grandma.
You got to hear your big grandma. We're just bury me.
I just feel like, you know, I came out when
I was thirteen. I started going to gay clubs. When
I was twelve of their team. Um, there was a
club out here now like called Arena. When you're thirteen, Yeah,
(14:29):
I went to this club called the Arena. It was
so dope. It was predominantly Latino, black, brown, Asian like,
it was predominantly BOC and all kids that liked hip
hop culture. And so it was queer in hip hop.
And so the way that we dressed, like our style
icons were Missy Elliott, Sean Paul, Sean Ball, and the
(14:52):
way that we kind of moved in the queer world
was like we weren't about Brittany, like we like Brittany,
but it was like what's Sierra doing? Sears like I'm
gonna play Jesus and what went bio? Because there was
like a chicken dancing on a super Bowl and keep
your Hands Off. When I discovered that song, I was like,
(15:14):
oh my god, this song is so good. And somebody
was like, that's au meme with the chicken dance on poles?
Is the chicken dancing on a pole? Chicken on a pole? Um?
But no, that was like my first thing, And I mean, look,
I love being queer. I to me, somebody says to me,
one time that the reason why people get so upset
(15:36):
with queer people is because queer people have had to
pretend to be one thing for so long that when
they finally come out, they can be all of it
and straight SI and sis het people have a fear
because they still live in their boxes. They don't understand
that you can be anything that you want to be.
You can present however you want to present, where whatever
(15:58):
you want to wear, and you can still be a
whole and complete human being. And I really really love that.
I really resonated me because I love it. I love
being queer. We can do so much, say so much, dance,
we can cry, we can duke it out and fight
it out, we can be masked, fem strong, sobb I
don't know, I facking love it. I do want to say,
(16:21):
leaning into who you are it's one of the most
liberating things in the whole wide world. If you can't
do it, it's also okay. It's a privilege to be
able to come out. It's a privilege to be able
to identify as you are and exist as you are
out in the open. There are still laws in the world.
There are still murders of people in your very own
United States, where people can't be themselves. Have had a
(16:42):
really great support system, and when I told them about
all these things, I feel like people were not as surprised,
and that what made me feel a little bit better,
just because if you can, like you know, there's like
your chosen family. Sometimes people are not going to get
you even though their blood and that's fine, but I
really find comfort in like the support system I have
(17:03):
out here. Um, when I told my parents, they didn't
really care, like okay, like, yeah, I love whoever you
want as long as you're happy, like love is love.
They pulled the you know, love is love and like
all right, well, and I've told them about different queer
people that I have been interested in and they're like,
oh cool, And that is a privilege. People don't get
(17:25):
that a lot, and I acknowledge that not safe. So
I totally get chosen family and like the value in that,
because it sucks when your family just doesn't get you
and shames you. And it's like, man, I was born
in this family and you guys don't like me. I
wanted to say it to like just growing up in
(17:45):
Latina family, Um, it was hard. It was really hard.
Growing up, like my parents would make me walk, would
make me practice walking back and forth because I didn't
walk masculine enough. They were not very happy about the
way that I moved my hands a lot when I talked.
I was emulating people that I looked up to in
my family, which just so happened to be the women.
And I love the way that women move their hands
(18:06):
when they talk. I love how graceful they are, and
so for me, that's what I emulated, even down to
I didn't take off my shirt for a very long time,
of course, because of body dysmorphia. But I remember specifically
being a very young kid and noticing, Um, I was
in a pool, and I noticed that none of the
women were showing their bodies, and so I remember being like, oh, well,
(18:27):
then I too will not show my body. But it
was something that I was dealing with growing up as
a queer kid, and my parents were just kind of
didn't know how to handle that. Why don't you take
your shirt off, you're a guy, Why don't you do this?
Why do you walk like that? So it was definitely
very hard being a queer kid, and so I understand
when people feel like they can't come out. And then
(18:49):
the other thing too, is like our own idea of
gender roles within the community, right, like how women are
expected to act and how men are expected to act.
(19:11):
Alrighty guys, here we are again with your favorite segment,
astrology astrolangicles. Is that how you say, do you pronounce
the astrolangic lanes? Astrological? I guess I never thought about it.
Which sign do you think is the gayest sign? Ever?
That what I was thinking, what ends? Oh, that's we're asking.
(19:34):
I don't know. I feel like burgos are really gay.
To be honest, every time I meet a straight sis
I did date somebody and then somebody else grew up
with them. They're like, yeah, he's very like metro sexual.
I'm like, why did you have to say like that
he's a little gay? And you know what I think
he I think I think he's like fluid. I think
(19:58):
he was fluid, which was fine. I was is attracted
to him no matter what, because he was like into writing,
and I was like, I don't care it is. Oh,
I know, just because someone's a geek or a door
doesn't mean that they're gay. But you know what I
read somewhere that they were saying that Virgos tends to
skew more feminine anyways. I mean the symbol is it's
(20:20):
a woman tend to be a little bit more feminine anyway.
So I always think, are they European? Are they virgo?
You know what, I wonder if there's anything in our charts,
and I wish I had accurate information to show that
we're fluid or to show that our queerness. There has
to be something in there. You know, there's um something
(20:41):
in your chart that can show you how big your PEPs?
Oh my god, I didn't know that. Who do he
thinks the most? Butch? I don't know. I can't get
That's why I'm like, I can't give you. I can't
give you much. I'm like, is it aries? We always
talking about aries in virgos? Basically? I know, I'm so
sorry to be the most the ones that I think
(21:02):
are the most Butch Capricorn's butch aries Butch? Why you
got to say it like that, though, tourists is butch?
Are you going to say like that? It just sounds aggressive,
right like he like butch, he's butch, she's butch. That
doesn't even sound like a word sound a word anymore,
(21:23):
like whenever you say, but you gotta, you gotta hear
the bicep in the word butch, you got to hear
the well. That is includes our astrology section of the podcast. Basically, look,
however you identify who cares somebody's business, You don't have
to live in one box, living all the boxes. Do
it up. Be the I d K, suck a dick,
look a pus, look whatever is in between, sucker, booty holes,
(21:48):
live it up. I love when you say sucker, suck
them in the neck, suck them in the next Curly
has been saying that a lot lately, like like, don't
you just want to suck them in the neck? I'm like,
that is something I never ever thought would ever cross
my mind. And I'm like, it doesn't even sound that intense,
Like what does that do for you? It sounds funny
(22:13):
to say, Yeah, we used to say I will cut you.
What do we maybe like, I will cut you in
the eyebrow, like in the eyebrow, or I will I
will kick you in the eyebrows? What we used to say?
I used to say when I was little, I'll kick
you in the shin, in the shin, you know, yes,
queerness is beautiful. And I guess I kind of came
(22:34):
out on the podcast a little bit. Is that acreate? Like,
did you just come out to everybody? I guess? Where's
my freaking party? What the heck? This is the worst
party ever? Where's her? I d K float, Where's Where's
where the campaigns for the KA? Where my campaigns for
the I d K Now? I don't really care. I
(22:56):
just love who you want to love and who cares.
Be yourselves of each other. Be kind, It doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter what you're into. It's fine, it's
not that serious. Just be okay with yourself. That that
is all that matters. And maybe yes, be kind, be
kind rewind. Thank you everyone so much for listening to
this episode. We hope you enjoyed it, and please leave
(23:18):
us some comments or d ms on ideas for future episodes.
We want to hear from you, and if you want
to hit us up on social media, please feel free
to do that as well. All right, man, where can
people find you on social media? You can find me
at Mine, the Moment, m A y A and the
Moment on all social media platforms, baby, and you can
find me on TikTok and Instagram at the Curly v Show.
(23:40):
By Anyways, a little get out of here, you little queers.
The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast is a production of
Sono in partnership with iHeart Radios Michael Podcast Network. For
more podcast from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app,
(24:02):
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
H
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