January 26, 2022 • 23 mins
On this episode Curly and Maya discuss queerness. Why do people care so much about labels and definitions? To clarify attractions, Maya confesses and Curly gives advice to be comfortable with oneself.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, what are you doing in here? What's the past word? What?
You're queer? You don't even need a password? Didn't hear
you a little queer? My name is Curly and I'm
Maya and welcome to the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast,
a super secret club where we talk about super secret
things secret, more time super secret. In each episode, we'll
(00:23):
talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men, and of course our
favorite secrets. Well, I had a teacher called me queer
one time. I know she was a nun. Whatever, he's
probably in purgatory somewhere now. We love starting out our
podcast with disson dunds it Well, Well, back again with
(00:50):
another episode of the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. Today
we're gonna be talking about queerness and intersectionality within our
identity as Latine people, and we're just going to start
off with how do we identify? Yeah, how do you identify?
(01:10):
I've said this before on TikTok. I think I don't remember,
but I do not identify as straight? What so? Well
you've known that? Of you? When did I tell you
about of you so quirky? Of you so quirky? When
(01:33):
did I tell you that, Curly, that you were queer. Yeah,
I don't even know. I assume everybody's career. To be honest, thing,
I think everybody's queer to a certain degree, whether they
want to admit it or not. And I'm like, who cares? Yeah,
Listen from an early age, when I first saw Atlantis
and I saw my little thatch hottie, and I saw
(01:53):
Princess Kita, and I was like, one side of your
vagin it was like yes, and the other I find
I was like what uh? And as Moralda, I had
a big rushan as Maralda, as Moralea. But they're strong women,
(02:14):
They're strong, and I just I'm just like, tell me
what to do. I don't know. See. And that's the thing,
is I d KA my queerness answers. I d K.
I'm at the very beginning of everything. I've known this
all my life, but it's been something that like I
never want to say me too. Yeah, I'm also I'm
(02:35):
I'm this, and I'm not not that anyone else does that.
I want to be very gentle and kind of keep
and keep this to myself until I really know what
it is. And obviously I'm coming out with it publicly now,
but I just I'm in discovery and I am very
much just trying to see what I like and what
I don't like. And what I do know is that
(02:57):
I'm not just straight. I don't just like men like
I just you know, it's like everyone, it's everyone, but
not just anyone. Yeah, it's I don't know. I d
kay is the thing. I think that's the beauty of queerness.
I think that is a great way to describe it.
Actually is it? It isn't I d K And I
think that the fact that you are still I d
kaying and you're still figuring it all out. It's part
(03:18):
of the beauty of identifying as queer because there's not
just one box. A friend of mine is studios asking
me like, why don't you identify as gay, and I'm like,
I don't know. Gay to me feels like it's I'm
in a box. It also feels very white to me, um,
and I feel like queer kind of gives me the
opportunity to kind of be like, look, I've pugged up
with women before, I poked up with women identifying people,
(03:40):
I wouldn't rule it out, and but my default is man,
I love man. I love a good jick. As you know.
I have to give you credit because every single time
you say that word, you always say it's so creatively.
I think I say it the same way all the time. Look,
I love it. I love a good pair of balls.
I'm here for it. But Jesus, I mean not Jesus,
(04:03):
don't come in here. Jesus is like, yes, you called Jesus.
You know what Jesus is probably queer too. I know
that my Jesus the airplane is Jesus coming in and
be like, I am not queer. My Jesus in my
head is queer. I'm not talking about your Jesus. So
if you get mad, whatever that's on you. UM. I
identify as a queer individual, both in the way that
(04:26):
I expressed myself through gender and in what I like
in bed. I think the closest thing that actually describes
what I am is called andro sexual, and that's somebody
who tends to be attracted to people who are masculine presenting.
So I actually don't care what you're working with or
what you may have been assigned at birth if you
are more masculine and you're gonna kind of take care
(04:49):
of me and not take care of me like taking amy,
but like you know, dumb me, I'm ready. I'm ready
to be You are so creative with your words currently,
definitely very bouncy in the way that I talk all
the time. You Know what I don't get is why
the straights. I don't get them eitherre I like everyone.
I think everyone is beautiful and attractive, and it's very
(05:10):
hard for me to date in general because I am
attracted to personality and conversation and it's hard for me
to call something that what's that called sapio sexual. See,
I have no idea about any of this. I just
know what I know. I don't mean to interrupt you,
but I'm going to interrupt you. Um, sapio sexual is
a person finding intelligence, sexually attractive, or arousing. Yeah, it's that.
(05:32):
It's very that I don't I've never been the person
to be like I mean, I can I can see that,
oh this person is attractive, but never in my life
have I been like, oh my god, I want to
have sex with them. It's just it's just is not
a thing. And I think knowing that, like there was
a little bit of shame for me growing up, knowing
that I was queer and like had crushes on girls
(05:55):
and all that stuff. It was confusing because you know,
you you grow up in society and it's either like
you're gay or you're straight and that's it. Yeah, I
mean that's all we had growing up. It was like
gay straight by that's it. Or people have trans experience,
and it was like, well, how do I pit into
those different Yeah? And I felt like a lot of
pressure to come out or say things because I was like,
(06:16):
am I doing a disservice to people who need that representation?
But I'm also like I want to protect myself and
like when I'm ready to say things, which now I
am obviously on this podcast, um, I will say them. Um.
And I don't feel like I need to have a
whole thing like a post about it. And that's just me.
But I admire a lot of people who do that
(06:37):
and support But it was it took it's still taking
a lot for me to come to terms with what
exactly my identity is. But I know the beginning stages
of it, you know. Yeah. I mean it's always a
whole different ball game for queer kids, right because I
always say, on top of the fact that we all
have to grow up in the closet. We all have
to grow up like um hiding. I always say like
(07:00):
whenever people are like why are queer people? Why are
gay men so aggressive with the way that they fly?
And or why are lesbians cell that's or why are
I'm like, we literally have had to learn how to
be social and how to move in this social construct
in the closet in the dark. Of course we're going
to be a little awkward about ship like of course
we're gonna sunk up like you've had every opportunity to
(07:22):
learn by you, I mean, treat people just have. People
have had every opportunity to figure out what is acceptable,
what is good, what is not like out in the open,
and we haven't. And on top of all of that,
when you come from a community of color or a
culture that is not white or American. And also this
isn't to say that like white folk in America don't
experience this either, but you know, coming from a Latin family,
(07:45):
Latino family, Latin next family, we deal with a lot
of things. And you know, part of the things that
we're talking about like machismo, and like machismo is always
seen as a currency, even like with some of our
women right, like, no, I don't need this, and like
I'm going to be strong. I'm gonna like they act
like they have to be ruthless. It's okay to be soft,
and it's okay to be I don't want to say
(08:06):
fem and equate them with soft because you know, I
just don't get why people are so interested in who
we want to love and kiss and mary or people
love sex, whether or not people want to acknowledge that
people love sex? Do you want to talk about it?
I don't get why people get offended. I mean, I
get it, but I don't. I just don't get the
logic of like, I'm mad that you want to kiss
(08:27):
another guy like me? Who am I to you? Like?
Why should you care about what I'm saying? Me as
saying as a stranger who would say that other people
I want to rub Mike and someone else is it's fine?
You know. I think it's because we're all a mirror
of each other. And maybe it's like some internal thing
where maybe they had I'm talking about like the gatekeepers
(08:48):
are just the haters of queerness and everything, Like maybe
they had an experience where they were shamed because they
were a little too fem or they were showing signs
of like queerness or whatever and got shamed for it.
I equate this to my experience learning Spanish, because a
lot of people would say, why are you so confident
about something that you should be ashamed about? People are
(09:10):
are afraid to go against the grain in that way,
and so for me, I'm like, you know, as I'm
discovering all of these things about myself and just always
knowing how people are just so weird about LGBTQ plus
all the things, all the letters. I don't get it.
(09:31):
It's just is so like, what does it matter to you? Well,
we know people are teaches. People always are trying to
get about other people's business. People are always like what
the Bible says, let me the funk alone, and let
me live my little life with my partner. We have
a dog, we have a white picket fans. We order
from Whole Foods and we do organic. I know that
(10:00):
you said that you felt something in your pants when
you watched Atlantis in my pajamas and you're, oh, I
keep thinking that you're going to say a whole different word.
I think you're gonna say my pagina in my put
Junior in my pajuna. Okay, so what was like your
(10:23):
first experience within the queer community. What do you mean
like when was your your first kind of like, oh, oh, okay, well,
I don't want to give this away. She's probably not
gonna listen to this ever. But there was this guitarist
of this artist that I really love. Do you remember this?
I do remember, and I was like, oh my god,
(10:46):
she's so cute. She played. You know what really gets
me is musicians and anybody. What was that? I opened
my I opened my mouth to yawn, and then I
was like I want to say, Okay, I'm gonna need
you to just put it on you and keep it
(11:07):
on you. You're wilding out on this one, wilding out
and out anyway. Okay, Uh, Yeah, there's this girl. She's
a guitarist. And I love people who play any instrument,
(11:28):
but also just whatever they're passionate about. If they're passionate
about book keeping, yes, anything that shows me that they're
passionate about something. For me, it just that's like a yes,
ding ding ding love it. So she obviously very talented
guitarist and musician, and I saw her, and you know,
(11:52):
I started following her on Instagram, and then I went
to the concert and like tagged her in a video
because I was like, let me just say, and she
followed me and we were like talking, but I got
so shy. I always get so shy because something she's
cooler and I don't know, but that was one of
(12:13):
the not the first, very first time, but that was
the first time in this like part of my life
as an adult, I would love to pursue something because
I've always been very concerned about my career more than love.
I would go on the apps and everything here and
there and like have relationships, but just it just wasn't
important to me. And this was different. This was like, huh,
(12:36):
I like this person and it's not a guy. Interesting,
isn't it. I love that. I wish they have more
straight people and that that you're calling you straight, But
I wish that people who identify a straight would be
more open about the possibility of really sharing in some
experiences with people who are just not necessarily within the
gender that they think. You know, yeah, that was the thing.
(12:57):
And it's very complex because like I've known all my
life that I'm like, hmmm, I don't just like men
but I know that I can't say that right now
because I don't know what I feel. So I'm going
to continue being whatever. And so now that I'm kind
of like more comfortable in it, and I feel a
little embarrassed honestly to be like that was my first
(13:21):
kind of thing. Oh my god. I hope like a
lot of people can relate to this too. I just
feel like a lot of people are way more advanced
in their queerness and can say what they like and
act on it, and I'm still at the beginning stages
of all that stuff. But that was like my first
kind of like, oh my god, I think I'm like
a gay queer. I'm like, I don't really say gay,
(13:43):
but I'm like, I'm like a big queer grandma. I
don't know if you heard me, big queer, big queer grandma.
You got to hear your big grandma. Just bury me.
I just feel like, you know, I came out and
as thirteen, I started going to gay clubs. When I
was twelve, their team, Um, there was a club out
here now called Arena. When your yeah, I went to
(14:07):
this club called the Arena. It was so dope. It
was predominantly latine, black, brown Asian like it was predominantly
BOC and all kids that liked hip hop culture, and
so it was queer in hip hop. And so the
way that we dressed, like our style icons were Missy Elliott, Seampaul,
Shan Ball. And the way that we kind of moved
(14:30):
in the queer world was like we weren't about Brittany,
like we like Brittany, but it was like what's Sierra
doings like I'm on a plane Jesus, and then went
bio because there was like a chicken dancing on a
super Bowl and keep your hands off. When I discovered
(14:50):
that song, I was like, oh my god, this song
is so body and somebody was like, that's a meme
with the chickens. Is the chicken dancing on a pole?
I Identibody's chicken on a pole? Um? But no, that
was like my first thing, and I mean, look, I
love being queer. I to me. Somebody says to me
(15:10):
one time that the reason why people get so upset
with queer people is because queer people have had to
pretend to be one thing for so long that when
they finally come out, they can be all of it
and straight. SI and sis Het people have a fear
because they still live in their boxes. They don't understand
that you can be anything that you want to be.
(15:33):
You can present however you want to present, where whatever
you want to wear, and you can still be a
whole and complete human being. And I really really love that.
That really resonated me because I love it. I love
being queer. We can do so much, say so much, dance,
we can cry, we can duke it out and fight
it out. We can be mask fem strong, soft. I
(15:55):
don't know, I facking love it. I do want to say,
leaning into who you are it's one of the most
live any things in the whole wide world. If you
can't do it, it's also okay. It's a privilege to
be able to come out. It's a privilege to be
able to identify as you are and exist as you
are out in the open. There are still laws in
the world, there are still murders of people in your
very own United States, where people can't be themselves. Have
(16:18):
had a really great support system, and when I told
them about all these things, I feel like people were
not as surprised, and that what made me feel a
little bit better, just because for me, I feel like
if you can, like you know, there's like your chosen family.
Sometimes people are not going to get you even though
their blood and that's fine. But I really find comfort
(16:40):
in like the support system I have out here. Um,
when I told my parents, they didn't really care. The okay, like, yeah,
I love whoever you want as long as you're happy,
like love is love. They pulled the you know, love
is love and like all right, well, and I've told
them about different queer people that I have been interested
in and they're like, oh cool, and that is a privilege.
(17:02):
People don't get that a lot, and I acknowledge that
not safe. So I totally get chosen family and like
the value in that, because it sucks when your family
just doesn't get you and shames you. And it's like, man,
I was born in this family and you guys don't
like me, I wanted to say to like just growing
(17:23):
up in Latina family, Um, it was hard. It was
really hard growing up. Like my parents would make me walk,
would make me practice walking back and forth because I
didn't walk masculine enough. They were not very happy about
the way that I moved my hands a lot when
I talked. I was emulating people that I looked up
to in my family, which just so happened to be
the women. And I love the way that women move
(17:43):
their hands when they talk. I love how graceful they are,
and so for me, that's what I emulated, even down
to I didn't take off my shirt for a very
long time, of course, because of body dysmorphia. But I
remember specifically being a very young kid and noticing, um,
I was in a pool and I noticed that none
of the women were showing their bodies, and so I
(18:04):
remember being like, oh, well, then I too, will not
show my body. But it was something that I was
dealing with growing up as a queer kid, and my
parents were just kind of didn't know how to handle that.
Why don't you take your shirt off? You're a guy,
Why don't you do this? Why do you walk like that?
So it was definitely very hard being a queer kid,
and so I understand when people feel like they can't
(18:25):
come out. And then the other thing too, is like
our own idea of gender roles within the community, right,
like how women are expected to act and how men
are expected to act. Alrighty, guys, here we are again
(18:50):
with your favorite segment astrology astrologically? Why is that how
you say? Do you pronounce the ask stronlangic lanes astrological?
I guess I never thought about it. Which sign do
you think is the gayest sign? Ever? That's what I
was thinking. What ends? Oh that's all we're asking. I
(19:13):
don't know. I feel like burgos are really gay. To
be honest, every time I meet a straight sis I
did date somebody and then somebody else grew up with them,
They're like, yeah, he's very like metro sexual. I'm like,
why did you have to say like that he's a
little gay? And you know what I think he I
(19:33):
think I think he's like fluid. I think he was fluid,
which was fine. I was attracted to him no matter
what because he was like into writing, and I was like,
I don't know, Oh, I know it was just because
someone's a geek or a dork doesn't mean that they're gay.
But you know what, I read somewhere that they were
saying that virgos tends to skew more feminine anyways. I
(19:56):
mean the symbol is it's a woman tend to be
a little bit more feminine anyway. So I always think
are they European? Are they Virgo are getting? You know what,
I wonder if there's anything in our charts? And I
wish I had accurate information to show that we're fluid
or to show that our queerness. There has to be
(20:16):
something in there. You know, there's um something in your
chart that can show you how big your PEPs? Oh
my god, I didn't know that. Who do you thinks
the most? Butch? I don't know. I can't get. That's
why I'm like, I can't give you, I can't give
you much. I'm like, is it aries? We always talk
about aries in Virgo's Basically, I know, I'm so sorry,
(20:39):
give me the most the ones that I think are
the most. Butch Capricorn's butch aries is but why you
got to say it like that? Though tourists? But what
are you going to say like that? But it just
sounds aggressive, right like Butch's butch, She's butch. That doesn't
even sound like a word, sound like a word anymore.
(21:01):
Like whenever you say but you got to you gotta
hear the biceep in the word, but you got to
hear the well that is includes our astrology section of
the podcast. Basically, look however you identify who cares somebody's business.
You don't have to live in one box, living all
the boxes. Do it up? Be the I d K,
suck a dick, look a puss, look whatever is in between,
(21:23):
suck a booty holes, live it up. I love when
you say sucker, suck them in the neck, suck them
in the next Curly has been saying that a lot lately,
like like, don't you just want to suck them in
the neck? I'm like, that is something I never ever
thought would ever cross my mind. And I'm like, it
(21:44):
doesn't even sound that intense, Like what does that do
for you in the neck? Or like karate, it sounds
funny to say, Yeah, we used to say I will
cut you. What do we maybe like I will cut
you in the eyebrow, like in the eyebrow, or I
will kick you in the eyebrows? What used to say?
I used to say when I was little, I'll kick
you in the shin, in the shin. You know. Yes,
(22:08):
queerness is beautiful And I guess I kind of came
out on the podcast a little bit. Is that acreate,
Like did you just come out to everybody? I guess
where's my freaking party. What the heck? This is the
worst party ever. Where's her I d K float? Where's
Where's where the campaigns for the I d KA? Where
(22:29):
my campaigns for the I d K? Now? I don't
really care. I just love who you want to love
and who cares. Be yourselves, love each other, Be kind,
It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter what you're into.
It's fine, it's not that serious. Just be okay with
yourself and that that is all that matters. And maybe yes,
be kind, be kind. Thank you everyone so much for
(22:52):
listening to this episode. We hope you enjoyed it, and
please leave us some comments or d ms on I
d US For future episodes, we want to hear from you,
and if you want to hit us up on social media,
please feel free to do that as well. All right, man,
where can people find you on social media? You can
find me at Mine the Moment, m A y A
in the Moment on all social media platforms, baby, and
(23:15):
you can find me on TikTok and Instagram at the
Curly v Show be as any anyways, a little get
out of hearing a little Queers. The Super Secret Bestie
Club podcast is a production of Sono in partnership with
iHeart Radios Michael podcast Network. For more podcasts from my heart,
(23:39):
visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, what are you doing in here? What's the past word? What?
You're queer? You don't even need a password? Didn't hear
you a little queer? My name is Curly and I'm
Maya and welcome to the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast,
a super secret club where we talk about super secret
things secret, more time super secret. In each episode, we'll
(00:23):
talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men, and of course our
favorite secrets. Well, I had a teacher called me queer
one time. I know she was a nun. Whatever, he's
probably in purgatory somewhere now. We love starting out our
podcast with disson dunds it Well, Well, back again with
(00:50):
another episode of the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. Today
we're gonna be talking about queerness and intersectionality within our
identity as Latine people, and we're just going to start
off with how do we identify? Yeah, how do you identify?
(01:10):
I've said this before on TikTok. I think I don't remember,
but I do not identify as straight? What so? Well
you've known that? Of you? When did I tell you
about of you so quirky? Of you so quirky? When
(01:33):
did I tell you that, Curly, that you were queer. Yeah,
I don't even know. I assume everybody's career. To be honest, thing,
I think everybody's queer to a certain degree, whether they
want to admit it or not. And I'm like, who cares? Yeah,
Listen from an early age, when I first saw Atlantis
and I saw my little thatch hottie, and I saw
(01:53):
Princess Kita, and I was like, one side of your
vagin it was like yes, and the other I find
I was like what uh? And as Moralda, I had
a big rushan as Maralda, as Moralea. But they're strong women,
(02:14):
They're strong, and I just I'm just like, tell me
what to do. I don't know. See. And that's the thing,
is I d KA my queerness answers. I d K.
I'm at the very beginning of everything. I've known this
all my life, but it's been something that like I
never want to say me too. Yeah, I'm also I'm
(02:35):
I'm this, and I'm not not that anyone else does that.
I want to be very gentle and kind of keep
and keep this to myself until I really know what
it is. And obviously I'm coming out with it publicly now,
but I just I'm in discovery and I am very
much just trying to see what I like and what
I don't like. And what I do know is that
(02:57):
I'm not just straight. I don't just like men like
I just you know, it's like everyone, it's everyone, but
not just anyone. Yeah, it's I don't know. I d
kay is the thing. I think that's the beauty of queerness.
I think that is a great way to describe it.
Actually is it? It isn't I d K And I
think that the fact that you are still I d
kaying and you're still figuring it all out. It's part
(03:18):
of the beauty of identifying as queer because there's not
just one box. A friend of mine is studios asking
me like, why don't you identify as gay, and I'm like,
I don't know. Gay to me feels like it's I'm
in a box. It also feels very white to me, um,
and I feel like queer kind of gives me the
opportunity to kind of be like, look, I've pugged up
with women before, I poked up with women identifying people,
(03:40):
I wouldn't rule it out, and but my default is man,
I love man. I love a good jick. As you know.
I have to give you credit because every single time
you say that word, you always say it's so creatively.
I think I say it the same way all the time. Look,
I love it. I love a good pair of balls.
I'm here for it. But Jesus, I mean not Jesus,
(04:03):
don't come in here. Jesus is like, yes, you called Jesus.
You know what Jesus is probably queer too. I know
that my Jesus the airplane is Jesus coming in and
be like, I am not queer. My Jesus in my
head is queer. I'm not talking about your Jesus. So
if you get mad, whatever that's on you. UM. I
identify as a queer individual, both in the way that
(04:26):
I expressed myself through gender and in what I like
in bed. I think the closest thing that actually describes
what I am is called andro sexual, and that's somebody
who tends to be attracted to people who are masculine presenting.
So I actually don't care what you're working with or
what you may have been assigned at birth if you
are more masculine and you're gonna kind of take care
(04:49):
of me and not take care of me like taking amy,
but like you know, dumb me, I'm ready. I'm ready
to be You are so creative with your words currently,
definitely very bouncy in the way that I talk all
the time. You Know what I don't get is why
the straights. I don't get them eitherre I like everyone.
I think everyone is beautiful and attractive, and it's very
(05:10):
hard for me to date in general because I am
attracted to personality and conversation and it's hard for me
to call something that what's that called sapio sexual. See,
I have no idea about any of this. I just
know what I know. I don't mean to interrupt you,
but I'm going to interrupt you. Um, sapio sexual is
a person finding intelligence, sexually attractive, or arousing. Yeah, it's that.
(05:32):
It's very that I don't I've never been the person
to be like I mean, I can I can see that,
oh this person is attractive, but never in my life
have I been like, oh my god, I want to
have sex with them. It's just it's just is not
a thing. And I think knowing that, like there was
a little bit of shame for me growing up, knowing
that I was queer and like had crushes on girls
(05:55):
and all that stuff. It was confusing because you know,
you you grow up in society and it's either like
you're gay or you're straight and that's it. Yeah, I
mean that's all we had growing up. It was like
gay straight by that's it. Or people have trans experience,
and it was like, well, how do I pit into
those different Yeah? And I felt like a lot of
pressure to come out or say things because I was like,
(06:16):
am I doing a disservice to people who need that representation?
But I'm also like I want to protect myself and
like when I'm ready to say things, which now I
am obviously on this podcast, um, I will say them. Um.
And I don't feel like I need to have a
whole thing like a post about it. And that's just me.
But I admire a lot of people who do that
(06:37):
and support But it was it took it's still taking
a lot for me to come to terms with what
exactly my identity is. But I know the beginning stages
of it, you know. Yeah. I mean it's always a
whole different ball game for queer kids, right because I
always say, on top of the fact that we all
have to grow up in the closet. We all have
to grow up like um hiding. I always say like
(07:00):
whenever people are like why are queer people? Why are
gay men so aggressive with the way that they fly?
And or why are lesbians cell that's or why are
I'm like, we literally have had to learn how to
be social and how to move in this social construct
in the closet in the dark. Of course we're going
to be a little awkward about ship like of course
we're gonna sunk up like you've had every opportunity to
(07:22):
learn by you, I mean, treat people just have. People
have had every opportunity to figure out what is acceptable,
what is good, what is not like out in the open,
and we haven't. And on top of all of that,
when you come from a community of color or a
culture that is not white or American. And also this
isn't to say that like white folk in America don't
experience this either, but you know, coming from a Latin family,
(07:45):
Latino family, Latin next family, we deal with a lot
of things. And you know, part of the things that
we're talking about like machismo, and like machismo is always
seen as a currency, even like with some of our
women right, like, no, I don't need this, and like
I'm going to be strong. I'm gonna like they act
like they have to be ruthless. It's okay to be soft,
and it's okay to be I don't want to say
(08:06):
fem and equate them with soft because you know, I
just don't get why people are so interested in who
we want to love and kiss and mary or people
love sex, whether or not people want to acknowledge that
people love sex? Do you want to talk about it?
I don't get why people get offended. I mean, I
get it, but I don't. I just don't get the
logic of like, I'm mad that you want to kiss
(08:27):
another guy like me? Who am I to you? Like?
Why should you care about what I'm saying? Me as
saying as a stranger who would say that other people
I want to rub Mike and someone else is it's fine?
You know. I think it's because we're all a mirror
of each other. And maybe it's like some internal thing
where maybe they had I'm talking about like the gatekeepers
(08:48):
are just the haters of queerness and everything, Like maybe
they had an experience where they were shamed because they
were a little too fem or they were showing signs
of like queerness or whatever and got shamed for it.
I equate this to my experience learning Spanish, because a
lot of people would say, why are you so confident
about something that you should be ashamed about? People are
(09:10):
are afraid to go against the grain in that way,
and so for me, I'm like, you know, as I'm
discovering all of these things about myself and just always
knowing how people are just so weird about LGBTQ plus
all the things, all the letters. I don't get it.
(09:31):
It's just is so like, what does it matter to you? Well,
we know people are teaches. People always are trying to
get about other people's business. People are always like what
the Bible says, let me the funk alone, and let
me live my little life with my partner. We have
a dog, we have a white picket fans. We order
from Whole Foods and we do organic. I know that
(10:00):
you said that you felt something in your pants when
you watched Atlantis in my pajamas and you're, oh, I
keep thinking that you're going to say a whole different word.
I think you're gonna say my pagina in my put
Junior in my pajuna. Okay, so what was like your
(10:23):
first experience within the queer community. What do you mean
like when was your your first kind of like, oh, oh, okay, well,
I don't want to give this away. She's probably not
gonna listen to this ever. But there was this guitarist
of this artist that I really love. Do you remember this?
I do remember, and I was like, oh my god,
(10:46):
she's so cute. She played. You know what really gets
me is musicians and anybody. What was that? I opened
my I opened my mouth to yawn, and then I
was like I want to say, Okay, I'm gonna need
you to just put it on you and keep it
(11:07):
on you. You're wilding out on this one, wilding out
and out anyway. Okay, Uh, Yeah, there's this girl. She's
a guitarist. And I love people who play any instrument,
(11:28):
but also just whatever they're passionate about. If they're passionate
about book keeping, yes, anything that shows me that they're
passionate about something. For me, it just that's like a yes,
ding ding ding love it. So she obviously very talented
guitarist and musician, and I saw her, and you know,
(11:52):
I started following her on Instagram, and then I went
to the concert and like tagged her in a video
because I was like, let me just say, and she
followed me and we were like talking, but I got
so shy. I always get so shy because something she's
cooler and I don't know, but that was one of
(12:13):
the not the first, very first time, but that was
the first time in this like part of my life
as an adult, I would love to pursue something because
I've always been very concerned about my career more than love.
I would go on the apps and everything here and
there and like have relationships, but just it just wasn't
important to me. And this was different. This was like, huh,
(12:36):
I like this person and it's not a guy. Interesting,
isn't it. I love that. I wish they have more
straight people and that that you're calling you straight, But
I wish that people who identify a straight would be
more open about the possibility of really sharing in some
experiences with people who are just not necessarily within the
gender that they think. You know, yeah, that was the thing.
(12:57):
And it's very complex because like I've known all my
life that I'm like, hmmm, I don't just like men
but I know that I can't say that right now
because I don't know what I feel. So I'm going
to continue being whatever. And so now that I'm kind
of like more comfortable in it, and I feel a
little embarrassed honestly to be like that was my first
(13:21):
kind of thing. Oh my god. I hope like a
lot of people can relate to this too. I just
feel like a lot of people are way more advanced
in their queerness and can say what they like and
act on it, and I'm still at the beginning stages
of all that stuff. But that was like my first
kind of like, oh my god, I think I'm like
a gay queer. I'm like, I don't really say gay,
(13:43):
but I'm like, I'm like a big queer grandma. I
don't know if you heard me, big queer, big queer grandma.
You got to hear your big grandma. Just bury me.
I just feel like, you know, I came out and
as thirteen, I started going to gay clubs. When I
was twelve, their team, Um, there was a club out
here now called Arena. When your yeah, I went to
(14:07):
this club called the Arena. It was so dope. It
was predominantly latine, black, brown Asian like it was predominantly
BOC and all kids that liked hip hop culture, and
so it was queer in hip hop. And so the
way that we dressed, like our style icons were Missy Elliott, Seampaul,
Shan Ball. And the way that we kind of moved
(14:30):
in the queer world was like we weren't about Brittany,
like we like Brittany, but it was like what's Sierra
doings like I'm on a plane Jesus, and then went
bio because there was like a chicken dancing on a
super Bowl and keep your hands off. When I discovered
(14:50):
that song, I was like, oh my god, this song
is so body and somebody was like, that's a meme
with the chickens. Is the chicken dancing on a pole?
I Identibody's chicken on a pole? Um? But no, that
was like my first thing, and I mean, look, I
love being queer. I to me. Somebody says to me
(15:10):
one time that the reason why people get so upset
with queer people is because queer people have had to
pretend to be one thing for so long that when
they finally come out, they can be all of it
and straight. SI and sis Het people have a fear
because they still live in their boxes. They don't understand
that you can be anything that you want to be.
(15:33):
You can present however you want to present, where whatever
you want to wear, and you can still be a
whole and complete human being. And I really really love that.
That really resonated me because I love it. I love
being queer. We can do so much, say so much, dance,
we can cry, we can duke it out and fight
it out. We can be mask fem strong, soft. I
(15:55):
don't know, I facking love it. I do want to say,
leaning into who you are it's one of the most
live any things in the whole wide world. If you
can't do it, it's also okay. It's a privilege to
be able to come out. It's a privilege to be
able to identify as you are and exist as you
are out in the open. There are still laws in
the world, there are still murders of people in your
very own United States, where people can't be themselves. Have
(16:18):
had a really great support system, and when I told
them about all these things, I feel like people were
not as surprised, and that what made me feel a
little bit better, just because for me, I feel like
if you can, like you know, there's like your chosen family.
Sometimes people are not going to get you even though
their blood and that's fine. But I really find comfort
(16:40):
in like the support system I have out here. Um,
when I told my parents, they didn't really care. The okay, like, yeah,
I love whoever you want as long as you're happy,
like love is love. They pulled the you know, love
is love and like all right, well, and I've told
them about different queer people that I have been interested
in and they're like, oh cool, and that is a privilege.
(17:02):
People don't get that a lot, and I acknowledge that
not safe. So I totally get chosen family and like
the value in that, because it sucks when your family
just doesn't get you and shames you. And it's like, man,
I was born in this family and you guys don't
like me, I wanted to say to like just growing
(17:23):
up in Latina family, Um, it was hard. It was
really hard growing up. Like my parents would make me walk,
would make me practice walking back and forth because I
didn't walk masculine enough. They were not very happy about
the way that I moved my hands a lot when
I talked. I was emulating people that I looked up
to in my family, which just so happened to be
the women. And I love the way that women move
(17:43):
their hands when they talk. I love how graceful they are,
and so for me, that's what I emulated, even down
to I didn't take off my shirt for a very
long time, of course, because of body dysmorphia. But I
remember specifically being a very young kid and noticing, um,
I was in a pool and I noticed that none
of the women were showing their bodies, and so I
(18:04):
remember being like, oh, well, then I too, will not
show my body. But it was something that I was
dealing with growing up as a queer kid, and my
parents were just kind of didn't know how to handle that.
Why don't you take your shirt off? You're a guy,
Why don't you do this? Why do you walk like that?
So it was definitely very hard being a queer kid,
and so I understand when people feel like they can't
(18:25):
come out. And then the other thing too, is like
our own idea of gender roles within the community, right,
like how women are expected to act and how men
are expected to act. Alrighty, guys, here we are again
(18:50):
with your favorite segment astrology astrologically? Why is that how
you say? Do you pronounce the ask stronlangic lanes astrological?
I guess I never thought about it. Which sign do
you think is the gayest sign? Ever? That's what I
was thinking. What ends? Oh that's all we're asking. I
(19:13):
don't know. I feel like burgos are really gay. To
be honest, every time I meet a straight sis I
did date somebody and then somebody else grew up with them,
They're like, yeah, he's very like metro sexual. I'm like,
why did you have to say like that he's a
little gay? And you know what I think he I
(19:33):
think I think he's like fluid. I think he was fluid,
which was fine. I was attracted to him no matter
what because he was like into writing, and I was like,
I don't know, Oh, I know it was just because
someone's a geek or a dork doesn't mean that they're gay.
But you know what, I read somewhere that they were
saying that virgos tends to skew more feminine anyways. I
(19:56):
mean the symbol is it's a woman tend to be
a little bit more feminine anyway. So I always think
are they European? Are they Virgo are getting? You know what,
I wonder if there's anything in our charts? And I
wish I had accurate information to show that we're fluid
or to show that our queerness. There has to be
(20:16):
something in there. You know, there's um something in your
chart that can show you how big your PEPs? Oh
my god, I didn't know that. Who do you thinks
the most? Butch? I don't know. I can't get. That's
why I'm like, I can't give you, I can't give
you much. I'm like, is it aries? We always talk
about aries in Virgo's Basically, I know, I'm so sorry,
(20:39):
give me the most the ones that I think are
the most. Butch Capricorn's butch aries is but why you
got to say it like that? Though tourists? But what
are you going to say like that? But it just
sounds aggressive, right like Butch's butch, She's butch. That doesn't
even sound like a word, sound like a word anymore.
(21:01):
Like whenever you say but you got to you gotta
hear the biceep in the word, but you got to
hear the well that is includes our astrology section of
the podcast. Basically, look however you identify who cares somebody's business.
You don't have to live in one box, living all
the boxes. Do it up? Be the I d K,
suck a dick, look a puss, look whatever is in between,
(21:23):
suck a booty holes, live it up. I love when
you say sucker, suck them in the neck, suck them
in the next Curly has been saying that a lot lately,
like like, don't you just want to suck them in
the neck? I'm like, that is something I never ever
thought would ever cross my mind. And I'm like, it
(21:44):
doesn't even sound that intense, Like what does that do
for you in the neck? Or like karate, it sounds
funny to say, Yeah, we used to say I will
cut you. What do we maybe like I will cut
you in the eyebrow, like in the eyebrow, or I
will kick you in the eyebrows? What used to say?
I used to say when I was little, I'll kick
you in the shin, in the shin. You know. Yes,
(22:08):
queerness is beautiful And I guess I kind of came
out on the podcast a little bit. Is that acreate,
Like did you just come out to everybody? I guess
where's my freaking party. What the heck? This is the
worst party ever. Where's her I d K float? Where's
Where's where the campaigns for the I d KA? Where
(22:29):
my campaigns for the I d K? Now? I don't
really care. I just love who you want to love
and who cares. Be yourselves, love each other, Be kind,
It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter what you're into.
It's fine, it's not that serious. Just be okay with
yourself and that that is all that matters. And maybe yes,
be kind, be kind. Thank you everyone so much for
(22:52):
listening to this episode. We hope you enjoyed it, and
please leave us some comments or d ms on I
d US For future episodes, we want to hear from you,
and if you want to hit us up on social media,
please feel free to do that as well. All right, man,
where can people find you on social media? You can
find me at Mine the Moment, m A y A
in the Moment on all social media platforms, baby, and
(23:15):
you can find me on TikTok and Instagram at the
Curly v Show be as any anyways, a little get
out of hearing a little Queers. The Super Secret Bestie
Club podcast is a production of Sono in partnership with
iHeart Radios Michael podcast Network. For more podcasts from my heart,
(23:39):
visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
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