Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Curly, why are you scratching your head?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
My brain feels funny. I think it needs more plasticity.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Knock knock, who's there? Amina, and I specialize in neuroplasticity.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What german here?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And Welcome to the Super Secret Pasty Cloud Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets get in here. Well
did you like that? Yeah? That was good we did in.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
One tahe wonder. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
My gosh, I'm so excited, so excited. Why I hope
by the end.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Of this ye're like, Wow, your guys' brains are already
messed up already.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Yeah, brains are amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Bit plastics classicity in my brain. You wish you could
cracked this open and see Yep, it'll be so lucky.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
What do you well? Welcome to another episode of the
Super Secret Bestie Club. Today we have a super amazing,
super amazing friend and guest, Amina Zamani. Did I say
like I said that? Okay? I killed it. Okay, well, welcome.
We're so excited to have you. We always start out
our episodes by asking how's your spirit?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Oh, I love that it's calm and excited.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yeah, like I said before, we are excited have you.
We actually met through a really good friend of ours, Misada.
We met in her place. She knew we were going
to be friends. We swapped outfits the first time we met.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah, I love that best.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah. I think I walked in and you were wearing
my clothes already, and you were like, is that okay?
And I was like, sure, just give me what you're wearing.
And I think I was wearing like it was like
a vintage bast and I was like, just don't get
it dirty or something like that.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I think, well, outfits.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I think I likedalid valid.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, I was like, well what do I get? You know?
And then we just wopped and I thought it was cute,
and then we just became really tight after that. But
so I put in your I ASKEDGBT to give me
a fun bio about you, all right, and I'm going
to read it super fast. It's a little lengthy, but
I want people to know who are listening for the
first time. You are a neuroplasticity specialist. You're a dynamic
(02:26):
coach who fuses neuroscience, wellness, and business to breathe new
life into high achieving individuals. With the passion for unraveling
the root causes of trauma. Amena's mission is to help
people unlock the full potential of their emotional intelligence and
experience the magic of positive change.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Hey, I have a crush on you.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Where can I meet him?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So? Where is born in Pakistan as an Afghan refugee,
I mean a group. Witnessing her family struggles amidst the
Chaoshi embarked in a self improvement journey, finding solace and
strength and yoga, which eventually that led her to India
where meditation became a game changer. I Meana's transformative journey
led her to neuro linguistics and a deep belief and
deep belief work, blending ancient wisdom with cutting edge neuroscience.
(03:11):
With years of rigorous study under her belt, including yoga, meditation,
She's a witch, a witch and consciousness and addiction. She's
crafted a unique approach to coaching. Today. I mean it's
vibrant and youthful spirit today, I mean it's vibrant, youthful spirit,
and innovative methods empower clients to transcend boundaries and achieve
remarkable growth. Through her work, Amana is creating a world
(03:32):
where emotional intelligence reigns supreme and true potential is realized. Wow,
that's beautiful. Want to meet her? Do you agree? And
can you confirm?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
I can confirm and I agree.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, Because how did you get how did you get started? Oh?
My god?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
You know I talk about this all the time too,
because it's such an unlinear path, Like I didn't have
any other ambition other than healing myself at the time.
Like I had really bad anxiety growing up. My parents
are Afghani, and you know, you can just imagine what
that's like growing up with parents that had to flee
(04:11):
their country.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And I'm Salvadorian. Our family had to do the same thing,
Like they had to leave during a civil war and
during kind of like a lot of different things that
were happening in the country.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Yeah, so you know, you end up taking on your parents'
rage and sadness and depression and anxiety and unhealed stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So like literally I had by the.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Time I was sixteen, I was like doing yoga and
you know, when I was nineteen, I was in India
and then I just for the first time in my life,
I felt better and I was like wow, like this
is incredible. And then I came back and I wanted
to learn about the mind. I wanted to learn about
could we change our brain?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Can we heal because all these gimmicks of like, you know,
try this for twenty one days and you'll get better.
And I was like, I don't know, like I don't
feel it. Yeah, you know, like I don't want to
use someone else's framework. I wanted to understand the software
of my brain. So I did it aside. Yeah, like
I did research at UCLA for four years.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I studied this very intensely. I worked with.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
You know, I studied coaching and ne linguistics and trauma
and addiction and very heavily.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
And you get your thing is very much about what
you call like mental hygiene. Yeah right, and you like
to get to the core of things. Can you tell me?
And you talk about neuroplasticity, but let's start there. What what.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
You explain it as if we were five years old?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah, because neuroplasticity stopped at five years Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
So like literally like neuro if you like deconstruct the
word neuros like your nervous system and the signals you
get from your brain to your body. Plasticity is a
Greek word for being mouldable. So neuroplasticity is this idea
that you can mold your brain. Think about it. If
we're five years old Plato. Imagine that you are playing
(06:14):
with Plato and you can mold Plato. And neuroplasticity is
the ability to mold your brain. So just like Plato,
when you decide what shape you want to take, you
focus on it and you can mold that. And neuroplasticity
is something that came out like that got even like
traction in nineteen oh six that in the nineteen forties
(06:36):
it became really important. And before that people thought you
were stuck, you couldn't change your brain. Turns out you
can absolutely change your brain at any time. You can
rewire your brain.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
And that's at any fucking age. But the vibe is
the younger you are, the more.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Plastic and mouldible your brain is what's considered younger.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Because I'm in my mid thirties now, still in the
younger category. Are we still amazing thirty one.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, I mean, look like.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
The reality is when you're six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
your brain's really multiple. Psychology says that by the time
you're seven years old, you've already imprinted all the beliefs
you're going to have about yourself in the world.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Yeah, and like to consider being a teenager, like all
the beliefs you have around money are imprinted, Like what
do we know about money when we're like young? But
it's the ideology of your parents in society, and what
you see is power structures that get embedded in your
mind for money in the world and so but your
(07:43):
brain is fully formed by the time you're twenty five.
So we have to work harder as adults. But it
doesn't mean we can't do it. We just got a
focus virgo style. You got a faux kiss, right, and.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
What about your what if?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Your airy style? And can focus? I have several different
focuses at the same time.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Well, we can.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Talk about that, but it's about the vibe is is
that ner plasticity is possible for everybody, just like learning
languages is really possible for young kids very easily, but
as you get older, it's harder. But whatever you focus on,
you can absolutely do.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
But how do you know, like, and I know you've
talked about almost like as if they become like paths
in your brain, right, like and you say that, like
when you believe the same thing over and over, you
can carve this path like deeper. How do we even
know that that path is there? Because I feel like
a lot of people can't even understand when like, oh,
I'm in a bad mood, Like they don't even know,
(08:41):
they don't even know that they're in a bad mood.
They're just running around, they're triggered, knocking things over there, triggered. Yeah, no,
for sure.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Well, I mean if we take a step back and
realize the path is a thought way and it's a
belief system and body see inside out too.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I haven't seen Okay, it's really good.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
But basically, like they explain this very well, so it
doesn't matter if you haven't seen it. But the idea
is our brains are like a computer software. You have
a blank slate when you're born, and everything gets coded.
Something amazing happens. You're five years old and you win
a race, and then you get coded into a belief.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Of I can win.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
That belief structure is embedded with emotion because there's so
much intensity. That's a pathway, that's a road, right. Then
something else happens. You're fourteen years old, you get into
a relationship and the love of your life crushes you,
and then you think, oh, I'm not lovable.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's a belief that gets formed.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
And so sadly, the way that our thinking and our
mind works is that is governed through our experiences. So
when we have hard stuff happened at an early age,
that gets cemented. And so then you build these pathways
in your brain of you meet somebody new, you know,
(09:56):
you are seventeen years old and you get robbed or
your parents and do something.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I can't trust people, so that pathway has been formed.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
The earlier the instance happens, the easier and faster it
is that that belief structure gets formed. And typically what
happens is we will carry these belief structures to our
adult life. And so we have between twelve to sixty
thousand thoughts per day.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We have twelve to sixty thousand thoughts wow per day,
the same yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Over eighty percent of them were negative?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
What yeah? What?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah? For sure?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
And then over ninety percent of them are from yesterday.
So now, yeah, so if you think of that science
from yesterday and the day before and the day before, well,
what's the source of it? The source of it was
when I got dumped when I was thirteen years old.
By I mean, I don't know, I didn't have a
boyfriend at thirteen.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I'm just saying, but like.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
The vibe is so a lot of times we think
about strategies and a lot of times we want to
optimize for performance, and that's you really can do that.
But if we can take a step backwards and not
ask the question of how can I be better? But
ask the question of what is preventing me from that?
(11:18):
And if you can find some root sources of that, yes, how.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Can I be not how can I be better? But
what is preventing me from that?
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
And what do you is it also connected to, like
you know, for example, fitness and wellness in my family,
like especially with my mom and all the women in
my family, we have like an allergy to it. We're like, ugh,
I mean, yeah, it's just that whole thing of like
it's never been taught to me that like, oh, walking
(11:47):
is it? I know, walking is good. I know being
active is good, but doing it I've always seen my
mom like struggle with it out loud, being like I
don't want to do this, so I don't And is
there some part of it that is also passed down? Yeah,
like from your brain, like your inherent you like that.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
That genetics sort of. Let me tell you a story.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
I've been meditating for basically half my life. I've been
meditating for eighteen years, like without missing. And when I
first learned meditation, it made sense to me. There's very
few things in my life that have made sense to
mean come easy, but meditation was.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
One of them. I went to India.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I was like, yo, like this is the answer. I
felt super high. I came home. I talked to my
family about it and they were like what. And I
remember not being able to meditate. Literally, I wasn't able
to meditate in days turned into weeks and weeks turned
into months, and I was.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Like, man, like, what is wrong? I know how to
do this, but so what occurred?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
It wasn't until you know, shamefully, like a year after
I struggled so damn hard and I finally gave up
that I realized, Oh my God. I had a limiting
belief around my desire to do something different than my family. So,
for example, I discovered that the meaning everything is a
(13:23):
meaning in the brain, the meaning of meditation changed for me.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
At first, I was like, Yo, this is dope, this
is like the answer.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Then my family rejected it, right or they kind of
snarled at it. They were like yeah, they weren't like
cool about it. But in my culture and being really young,
I learned it really young. It's like you're either with
me or against me, And that wiring was coded in
from a long time ago. So the smallest instance of
(13:51):
rejection made me feel like I'm gonna lose my family.
So subconsciously, I would rather be connected to my family
than to choose myself. And in a collectivistic Latin Asian
Indian culture, we choose collectivism versus ourselves. So oftentimes, you know,
I do this one talk where I talk about this
(14:12):
to like fortune five hundred companies all the time, and
the vibe is it's impossible for us to make a change,
Because it's not impossible, but it can feel that way
because we have some limiting beliefs and conflicts, and so
the conflict for me, was this idea that I would
lose my family I would stop, I would I would
(14:34):
not have their connection, I would be ostracized.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
By choosing something different.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Now that's sounds super intense, but we all have all
or nothing thinking in that way. So in your case
with the exercise, it may not be like you cognitively
know you're gonna your family.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, we were all.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Had this awareness of like fitness, being active is good.
But it's like, I guess the specific thing too, is
that when we're doing it, we're like, oh, this is
so hard.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Sure, it's that part.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
So the hard part and what you say to yourself
about it is if that means that it's bad, If
the meaning behind that is it's hard and it's not
worth doing, then you're not going to keep it up, right.
But if the meaning is I'm going to stop the
generation of perfectionism. I get the sense that for you,
you're probably very good at things. I mean, you say
(15:34):
keep saying it, yeah, but you so I can tell
that right away. Right, So your neurology is governed by
that reward system. The rewards system, and your neurology is
based on you achieving.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
So if you're going to do something and suck at it?
Why the fuck starts?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh for sure, I.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Want to be good at it as soon as they start.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Yeah, So the meaning behind it must change. The meanings
not be the result of I'm going to lose ten pounds.
The meaning must be how do I feel about myself?
And I can feel like shit? But you know, how
do I feel after? So the attachment, the the meaning
(16:16):
must be different in your brain.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
That's so deep because you did say that we give
everything meaning, So that can go into so many different
things like relationships, a break up.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Love absolutely especially love.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
How like how do you even especially lease? How can you?
Let's let's dive into love at a water effect. Here
we are at the Olympic jumping off of the high boards.
Let's why I don't want to I don't like it.
I feel like what is love? Like? Why do we feel? Like?
Like even just thinking about why are we single? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Like, yeah for sure, I know, Oh my god, so
many topics, so many topics.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Why are we? Why is it? Well?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Okay, I want to answer your question because I've actually
been thinking about this recently of like, yo, like this
is not easy, Like why is it so hard?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
And why is it that very functional? Amazing?
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Most loving human beings feel like it's hard, Like what
changes in us? I mean if we deconstruct I did
research on this when I was younger, Like, if we
deconstruct what love means to us as children, when our
brain is getting programmed, right, it's protection, it's care, and
(17:38):
it comes from our parents. And so psychology would say, hey, like,
as children, not in any perverted way, we are in
love with our opposite sex parent, right, so I might
be in love with my father. Like, we grow through
a phase where little boys or girls because they become
infatuated by their parents, and so then the parents become God.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
And if the parent does anything to reject them, to.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Ignore them, to do anything that would imply that they
are not worthy, that sets up the pattern of how
you believe you deserve to be treated. So for example,
there is yeah, there's research on this. They're like I
worked with somebody who was exceptionally beautiful, super basically supermodel,
(18:27):
and this person believed that they were ugly, And it's like,
there's no effing way that you would believe you're ugly.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (18:34):
I mean, this is very horrific. But when she was
nine years old, she was raped by her father and
the story, the meaning that she made up behind it
was that I'm ugly and bad because you can't comprehend
as a child that your father would be such a
horrific human being. Because parents are God and we fall
(18:55):
in love with them. So if we have some traumatic
experiences in any way as a child that gets encoded,
and we are all very narcisstic as kids, we all
blame ourselves. So the thing, the reason love is so
hard is the devastating self blame that we have for
the lack of support and acknowledgment that we didn't receive
as children.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I know I still blame myself for me too.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
I like I will.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I just had a moment the other day where I
was like, something that happened five years ago?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
No for sure, I.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Was like and and maybe I like, you know, texted
an X again.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Right, And I'm like, I told her to you to
be honest, I was like, just.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
As a friend.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Whatever I read, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
I think it's all about the motivation doesn't sound like
the motivation.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Regret it.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I regret it because I just feel like I wanted
to be friends exactly and we are friends. Yeah, but
I just like, like he has someone I'm assuming they're
like very much in love and whatever, happy for him.
But I felt like I missed like that friendship. Yeah,
(20:05):
but I wasn't getting that same friendship back, and I
felt like an idiot sure because I'm like, I don't
want to. My main thing is like I don't want
to seem desperate, because that's also a limiting belief too
that I have with my parents would always tell me like,
you know, oh, why do you like this guy? Like
you should like like they kind of would make me
feel valid and judged for my choices and guys, you know,
(20:30):
like back in the day. Now I told them back off,
and they back off and they trust me now, but
that's still that's still there, And I find myself going
back to the past and being like, like, I'm such
an idiot, like these big, juicy, ugly words that I
call myself that I don't really truly believe if you
were to say that about yourself, like I would call
you out and be like, well, why are you talking?
(20:51):
Why is it so that self talk? Why is it
so easy to access that?
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Yeah, because the self talk is easy to access that
because sadly, the negative things get imprinted in our brain
through emotion. Emotion is the viagra for your neu receptors
to connect. So the more emotion there is and anything,
the stronger.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It is not the emotional dress.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well yeah, yeah, so it's the emotional viagraph.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
And when we're children, our hearts.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Are so fucking open, dude, they are open, open, open, open,
and then something.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Slams us and it is as if our life ended.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Is you know, your parents yells as you for the
first time, and you're like, oh, that's how because emotions
are so intense, and then we make up a meaning
of don't ever look stupid ever again, and so that
gets codd so strongly. That's why first love hurts so
badly and never let anyone well, because we're so pure. Yeah,
(21:55):
and so the reason it's hard to overcome it is
because we're found out and we're ashamed. Shame is a
big source. You know, there's a book called The Shame
that Binds Us and shame is a big source of
why we keep secrets and why we try to hide.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I'm like, it's tearing up right now. I would do
this normally.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Too, but so that's the thing that we're missing always
is acknowledgment. So the one thing we can do is
separate ourselves from that critical parent, from the critical thinking.
And if you can for just a fucking millisecond, be
like yo, I hear that, thank you, but like I
(22:40):
still love you. Like that that begins to change your neurology.
That that builds neuroplasticity.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Even if you don't believe it though, because we did
have a conversation and we can get into that too. No,
I'm good.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Not judging me crying. I just like I love to
cry too. If I cried, it's a good day.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
It just because there was a couple of trigger words
of like the shame and and that stuff I can't
like you know, well know it just it's like when
you go back to like.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Let's talk about it, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
It's like when you think of like who who my
positive I'm trying to find like positive real models for
like women and stuff. I felt like some of my
ideas or some of my grandmother's like were so toxic
and just like and in a way where they didn't
even know because it's like a generational thing, like they're
not gonna like be accountable for like.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
You know, we don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah, but I remember like just being a kid sometimes
and being like, you know, like being yelled at for
being too it's always being too sensitive or that I
always cry as a kid, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So that's why I'm like, I'm just because they would
call me crybaby because you yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, but I like learning to not like judge them
judge my tears or anything.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
It feels so.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Much better judge your tears too, because we don't. It's
like who judges their tears? That's how you know you're alive?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I feel, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
But were going.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
To say, I was just going to say, like, if
you have that access to your emotion, it's a very
beautiful thing. And you of Latin descent, in me of
Central Asian Afghanian descent, we have access to that. Many
European Western societies are shut down from that. But the
fact that we have that is a very fucking beautiful thing.
And if you can begin to use that emotion towards
(24:52):
your manifestation.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
That's the vibe.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
So ask for more money when I'm crying, yeah, because
you're because you've released positive, happy chemicals in your brain
and so your brain is more moldable and receptive, so
then you're like I'm lovable, like I remember, like this
(25:18):
is crazy. But like if you masturbate, okay, like for example,
if you by the.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Way, I don't know, I like it. It's it's rain energy.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Like at a point in your life, if you have
after you have sex with a partner or with yourself,
after you get a massage, after you do some yoga, anything,
after you cry, any time where your brain is more
at ease, where your levels of cortisol aren't like you know,
(25:59):
flagging your body and all over it through the roof,
that's when you can start saying the positive afformations. They'll stick.
So the more emotion you have, the more relaxed you are,
that neurochemically will bind the neuro receptors. Like yeah, like yesterday,
I was in a really good mood and I was
just like.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I'm amazing, I'm amazing, you.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Know what I say. Like I was like I'm amazing.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Yeah, And I was walking and saying it because I
wasn't feeling very amazing to be fully honest, like I
had a tough whatever. Who cares what the instance was.
The vibe is it's what I was feeling. And so
then I went to the gym and I started to
feel better, and I was like, you know what, I'm
going to use this energy. So I started walking, moving
my physiology. Moving your physiology takes your shit, takes the
(26:47):
shit out of your brain, and it gets you out
of the unstuck. Anytime you want to make a neurological change, move,
move your move, your physiology will follow.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Anytime you feel stuck, you said it neurological.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
What anytime you want to change you neurology or your
state of mind, get up and move anyway, push anything,
just move.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Because then it like it activates. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
So if you can move and start to feel better,
if you can you know, after any type of relaxation
method of all the ones we just mentioned, sex, massage, whatever,
and you can say those positive things to yourself, they'll
get encoded. They'll go under the defense mechanism.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Wow, it's kind of interesting because I've heard that, like
if they call it like orgasm magic. So like if
you like like a women, yes, as you're orgasming and
you put out an attention and you're like, you know,
whatever you want to do like whatever, saying yeah, yeah,
maybe they'll hit you or something. I don't know, like
(27:52):
to use your that moment, I did want to hop
into a little bit of because one of the things
that I feel like, you know when you get into affirmations, right,
and you're like, look in the mirror and tell yourself
you're beautiful, tell yourself you're worthy. I did it for years, right,
and I am like, okay, like I feel it and
I don't feel it, and I but I didn't. I
don't think I ever really believed it. And we started
(28:14):
talking about shroom psilocybin, and we started to talk about
ketamine therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I told you that
I like started a little bit of ketymine therapy and
while I was on it, I had a moment where
I like hugged myself and I was like, I love
you and I believed it, Yeah, for the first time,
as if somebody else was saying to me, I love you,
(28:36):
and it I almost felt like my brain was like
a new road. Oh, I know how to access that.
And you say something really cool that you I don't
and you said that it's from the book. It's like
from a book you.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Can heal your life.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
What is it called?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
You can heal your life.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
You can heal your life. But you say, like you
can't unsee it after that, you can't unlearn it, and
it's there. Yeah, like how can how can is that
accessible to people who don't want to do them therapy? Oh?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Like how do you do that? How do you believe it?
Speaker 3 (29:07):
How do you believe it?
Speaker 4 (29:08):
I know it's so true, and like, by the way,
that's such a beautiful example.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I was so happy that you share that with me
then and now. Yeah, like it's so specialized when.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
You kind of hug yourself a little bit and you're
doing so good baby, yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Because you can feel yourself being like thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Yeah you. Meyer would do this thing where she'll baby
talk to you, and when she baby talks you, it's
the best feeling, and she'll be like, do what's going on?
Are you mad? Who you're like something? So like it's
almost like when you do that to yourself, like you
are you you're sleepy? You know, like you kind of
(29:47):
believe it, but I feel like it's hard to access
that really.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Yeah, no, one hundred percent, And it's that The statistics
of twelve Tom thoughts per day eighty percent of them
are negative ninety per centers them from yesterday. So you know,
like it's that so exactly what you did with when
you were talking about the orgasm. You're at your highest
peak when you're orgasming, right you are. You are in
(30:12):
pure bliss. Your brain is flooded with safe, happy chemicals.
And remember, emotion is the viagra for your neuro receptors
to bind, so any the way, the way to believe
it is to have emotion around it, and you had
(30:33):
that with the ketamine because you believed it. What kendemine
does is it dissociates your brain from all the bullshit,
you know, from all the monkey mind. And you're like, yo,
like maybe it's true sidework.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
This is prescribed by the way. I'm not getting it
from like an alley somewhere, like it's like through a doctor.
I'm for really, Yeah, it's like it's something that people do,
so I just wanted it.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yeah, And there's all sorts of places online where they'll
prescribe it to you, like better You or mind bloom.
But the point is you can do it in a
sober way through emotion. One of the best ways to
do it is to do basically a three step process.
Number one, we want to find a way in which
we can relax our brain.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
And so, you know, all.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
The hundreds of years of yogi's have said what narroscience
is now proving, which is like, if you focus on
the middle of your forehead, your third eye, and you
just you know, focus on it and breathe, you start
producing happy chemicals. Like literally, what have the yogi's been
saying since like the beginning of time before Christ?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah, I would say.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
My third eye has like a giant lash on it,
you know.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
Yeah, she's fuzzy.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah, she's got a lot of beautiful lashes.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Gorgeous. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
So the first is to do something that can relax you, okay,
relax your mind. The second is to do something to
relax your body, like stretching or I don't know, a
lot of people find relaxation through masturbation or you know
yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
To let everyone know it, Curly likes to masturbate.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Ye, it's about I mean, so we're saying people who
mask are happier, but yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
There's research on that.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
But the third is, when you've done one and two,
to then do it to find a point at which
your mind and body are less resistant. One of the
other ways to access it is through sound sound therapy.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
You know, your body can only.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Resist the vibration of the sound for like thirty seconds
before it just encapsulates you.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
And so if you can even listen to sound bowls,
it'll it'll start taking away your defense mechanisms. The reason
we don't believe it is because our brain is designed
for survival and defense. So I believe we have an
inner child inside of us. You know, parts therapy work,
(33:11):
which is very a popular form of internal family systems.
They say we have a five year old, a three
year old, a ten year old, a teenager, and usually
those when we get activated, it's my five year old
saying fuck.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Oh, y'all, I'm out.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
You know, five year old, how did you yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
So the reason we can't take it in is because
there's like a little shield of this thirteen year old
like trying to fight.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
You be like, no, But when you can.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
Calm that five year old down, what I imagine sometimes
when I'm really anxious and this like you know, have
a negative voice inside my head.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Is I imagine I put them to sleep. It's time
to go to bed.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Baby, like, I know you're tired, I know you're angry.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
We're just going to go to sleep. We're going to
just put that to bed that you know, we're gonna
say nice things.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
To me tree that I feel like for me, that's
how I really helped to heal was inner child healing
from like being three years old or five years old.
My I think the prominent age where I feel like
things happened was like eight years old.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Yeah, And so I felt like I saw her show
up a lot, and I is there something too with
like your brain and doing that inner child healing work.
I literally would imagine myself like hugging Yeah, that eight
year old.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
For sure, you're building doro plasticity. That helped me so much,
But no, I had a therapist. I had a therapist
too who who walked me into that.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
And then so I feel like I'm healed with like
the three year old, five year old, eight year old thirteen.
Now I find myself hitting my early twenties beautiful, Wow,
she comes up. Yeah, she comes up, and I'm like, oh,
cuse thirty one now, And I feel like I you know,
I've been on the internet since I was sixteen and
(35:05):
I everything is documented in my early twenties or since
I was sixteen, so I'm starting to see were you
Carly Star stuff? Like we worked at BuzzFeed together for years. Yeah,
so a lot of on camera stuff talking about really
deep personal stuff that I was not ready to talk about, skits,
just the way that I looked like. I find myself
(35:27):
now in this age where I'm like thirty one, I'm like,
you know, the chunkiest I've ever been, but I'm like
working through, like just be like whatever. I'm like, I'm
cool no matter what size I am. But knowing that
back then I was like way skinnier and kind of
seeing her pop up and being like you didn't appreciate
your body back then, not pointing fingers at her, but
(35:47):
just like, I see how I'm in this body now
and I'm kind of forcing myself to love the state
that I'm in, And I wish that she had loved
the state that she was in. So I'm meeting her
right now and I feel like she is talking to
me and everything and giving me those downloads. But is
it like is that another neural plasticity thing where it's
like the ages when you think about for sure like,
(36:10):
what is it in aging? Like how does that line up?
Speaker 5 (36:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I mean neuroplasticity is this idea of like you know,
you were talking about the roads, Like basically, when you
develop a belief, it's like a little dirt road, and
then if you keep walking on that dirt road over
and over, it can become bigger and bigger and bigger.
And as we become adults, these little dirt roads become
super highways. And so now we have a super highway
(36:50):
of a belief structure or a thought right. And so
when you begin to challenge that thinking in a loving
way or a gentle way, sometimes in a no gentle
way whatever. If you begin to challenge that thinking, it
can reverse the racetrack. If you're so used to running
on a race truck in this way and you're like stop,
(37:10):
like there, the first step is to just make a
decision that that line of thinking is not you. And
if you decide, I'm going to reverse this racetrack. You
know Louise Hay in her book You Can Heal Your Life.
I read that book like thirty times. It changed my
life and love it. C she love her, and she
was saying anytime she gives a talk or a presentation.
(37:32):
What she does is she goes straight to the mirror
and says, you did amazing. I love you because our
emotions are so heightened. Anytime your emotions are hidening, you
need to say positive things to yourself. Then she says,
three hours later, this sho'll then maybe figure out a
critique or two. You know, like when you're talking about
dating and being single. The reason why I think it's
(37:54):
so hard to be.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Close is because it hurts so much. It hurts so much.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
To be close to someone.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
If yeah, or if it's disappointing, like if it doesn't
turn out the way it doesn't turn out the way
you want, it hurts so much, then we don't want
to go through that again.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Well, because that kind of brings up a different thing
that you talk about too, which I love because you
connect neuroscience and to manifestation right thinking things and you
know it could manifest itself. But you also consider things
that might hinder that that we have no control over,
like things that are consciously yeah, like you know, things
that might affect you because of the way that you
look your gender, your sexuality, your race, your ethnicity, right,
(38:36):
Like how that might we you were as watching this
thing that you were talking about where how women get
paid like so much less than like a white cis
hetman in the United States, and you were also talking
about how women get treated in your own background. And
so if you apply sort of that umbrella, like that
lens over what it is that we're talking about, you know,
that can be kind of in a macro way, but
(38:58):
also in a microway where like, let's just say, if
you're like, I don't feel beautiful, and you're like, that's
your belief right, but then you go to like we
always jok, Like you know, if I go to like
a bar or something, nobody else is making me feel
beautiful either. So then I go home and I'm like,
what the hell they drink? They got a drink and
I got nothing, Like, So how do you h with
It's I understand kind of like controlling and owning what
(39:20):
you have in your mind, but then kind of going
into the world and that not being reflectible.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Reflected back to you.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
What do you do?
Speaker 6 (39:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
You do? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:28):
And it's so powerful, right because for example, the thing
we do when we're developing our thinking is we make
meaning of the reactivity of people.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
This is very fucking important.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
We make meaning of the reactivity.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
Yeah, so not what is actually being done. It's their
reaction to us.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Is we're making up almost in our head.
Speaker 6 (39:55):
In a way.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Yeah, but no, no, Like, for example, if my parents'
reaction to me about something was aha, the meaning I
make up about that is what I believe about myself,
which is so crazy because it's not even reality. It's
their reactivity to me. So we believe about ourselves. This
(40:16):
is what Luis says, based on the reactions of the
people around us. Yes, so that can happen structurally societally, right,
with racism, with misogyny, with white supremacy, with scapegoating whatever.
So because their reaction to me, I'm not saying this
(40:38):
is the answer, and this is very complex, but what
society will reflect back to me is of course what
I'm going to believe, because that's how I was trained.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
Right.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
It's so this idea of toxic masculinity or like you know,
toxic positivity of like if you go to a bar
and you're feeling ugly and someone refines flex that back
to you or whatever, Yes, you can't change that, but
what is the meaning you make up about that? That
(41:09):
just because you didn't get validated from them, you're you're ugly.
What if you believed you were pretty and they didn't
reflect that back to you.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
That's what I'm saying. I did feel like I was
pretty and I feel like they didn't reflect it back
to me.
Speaker 5 (41:18):
Yeah, So why is this so important to you?
Speaker 1 (41:21):
That?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
The question is whose interpretation is more important and stronger?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Whose interpretation is more important? Well, the tall hunk in
the corner. But like, what are three things that somebody
watching this can do right now? Like super easy? Like
I want to just feel good about myself today? Like
what are three things that they can do?
Speaker 4 (41:47):
The three things that people can do if they want
to feel good about themselves right away is begin to
learn to relax their mind, and once their mind is
relaxed and bodies relax, say positive things to themselves. The
second thing is they can start contracting their muscles in
the form of yoga or lifting weights, because you start
(42:07):
producing hope molecules in your body. Wow, And it's the
only way to produce hope molecules in your bodies through contraction.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
So just do like three minutes of apps.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
And not like a kegel contraction that could.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Also have been doing.
Speaker 4 (42:25):
Okay, okay, so like literally relax your body, say something
positive in a meaningful way, to eat yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
You know, why are we? Why do we love it?
When our significant other person we're.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
Dating is like, yo, like you look beautiful, like love it.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
It feels so good. Do that to yourself.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Okay, damn you look finest. Book. Yeah it's my own as.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Yeah, yeah in the kitchen, there you go.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
There was a book I read It's called Pussy Reclamation,
where this woman would look at herself naked and look
at her pussy and say, hello, gorgeous, what can I
do to make you happy today? And she like manifested
all this money.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Like wow, yes, cry in the car, yell positively the
next best thing.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
So the third thing is actually what Nara Signs research
has shown is that when people reflect to us what
is good about us, it's can be even more powerful
than us saying it to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
But we don't want to be beholden to that.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
But making that call and saying curly like remind me again,
while you love.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Me anytime any time? Oh my god, I'm like not
me about to cry right now, like I will anytime.
But also don't. We always say that it is so
important to have friends around you who are not yes people,
but that we will like gass each other up, like yeah,
you want to write a book about haikus and kittens,
Like yes, do it? You got this? You're the best,
(43:58):
Like we are really good at that, right, Yes, that's amazing. Okay,
So then relax the mind.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Relax the mind, relax the body, say something good to yourself.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Move around a little bit. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:12):
The second thing is lift some weight to contract your
body to produce hope chemicals. You'll immediately feel better. And
then the third is call someone that you know loves
you in a non judgmental way and ask for affirmation
and hearing that. I mean, this is why we love
people that love us.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
You know, we're a community.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah, you know it's I think that's where our community
shows up and why it's so important to have a
positive and accountable.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Friend group too.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I love that so much.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
I have a tiny little question too.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Is weed ruining my brain?
Speaker 2 (44:48):
And it is coffee ruining your brain?
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Coffee is okay?
Speaker 1 (44:52):
I think listen like specifically edibles, I'm want to take
them like.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
Some multiple.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
I'm not an expert in this, but typically marijuana is
worse for you than many other things. It's truly like
what we learn in junior high. It does like kill
your brain cells. Like it's not great. I would recommend
ketamine over really over marijuana.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Controversial point of view, you think or I don't know.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Probably I think.
Speaker 4 (45:24):
First of all, I think alcohol is the deadliest drugs.
Sugar and alcohol are the deadliest drugs.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
I don't do too much of either one of those.
Speaker 4 (45:32):
Yeah, marijuana is better than those, but not preferred. Like
if you want, I would do Yeah, depends on why.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Maybe switch it to shrooms.
Speaker 4 (45:45):
Or microdosing I think could alleviate the same experience.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Because people get high to relax.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
People get high sometimes to focus, to be social, created,
to get creative, to get inside of your body, right
because we get so in our heads. Microdosing can have
similar effects. I think microdosing acid is a profound way
to have a substitute for getting high.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
I feel like we have a checklist of things to
do after this, I know.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Welcome to the zodiac portion of the podcast. Okay, Amina,
what is your sign?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
First?
Speaker 4 (46:34):
It's Capricorn And let me just tell you right now,
I know, very very very little.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
About astrology and yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Hopefully you haven't listened to any episode you drive Capricorn already.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
That makes sense that you're a Capricorn though, because Capricorns
are like their very business they have their ship together, like,
and it makes sense that like meditation would come to
you so easy because I feel like Capricorns are very
much in the sense of like, this is going to
be good for me, so I'm going to do it,
and they don't need it, they don't need anything else,
(47:13):
but this is good for me, and that's it.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Versus me.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I'm like, oh, well, is there something more fun I
could do? You know, I'm like always chasing that like
whatever it is. But do you feel like some of
the qualities of a Capricorn like that? You do you
like being a Capricorn or are you like.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
I mean, I think that's true.
Speaker 4 (47:34):
I like being a Capricorn. I feel like I like
it sometimes a virgo envy I want to.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Sometimes I do too. You know what, you guys are
better at being virgos, and virgos are, to be honest,
Tepricorns are just so on top of their stuff. They
handle things. The things that they say about virgos being
perfectionists and just good at what they do. I would say,
come seeks. I feel like Capricorns are very like.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
They're great at manifestation.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Something.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
Yeah, they they are determined.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
That nobody else can can convince them otherwise. They're just
hard headed, hard headed for themselves. That's why they're so successful.
And I love Like, are there any signs that you
notice you surround yourself with?
Speaker 4 (48:21):
Yeah, it's interesting. I'm like very Aquarius, like my rising's Aquarius.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
I have a lot of not.
Speaker 4 (48:28):
A lot, but I think I have a significant amount
of virgoes around me, which is interesting.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
I see that.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
I I love the sensitive signs.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Like my sister is a Pisces.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
We love them too.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
We love my rising pis I have a bunch of
life so hard though I know, I mean.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Your sign, I think it's Aquarius.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
Okay, you feel so like light and fund Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Because people were like, girl, you are intense, but I.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
But I don't know.
Speaker 4 (49:07):
I think I have more of this, yeah, like more
of this Aquarius free flowing.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Yes, there's something ethereal about you that's like you're connected
to both sides and you have like your present, but
you're also able to access like the other worldly.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Like nothing you know.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
And I think that's like, that's why I love astrology
so much, because like it just it's like a puzzle piece.
Like it. I'm like, that makes sense that, Like you're
my mom's rising is Aquarius and she's the exact same
way where she's Sagittarius Pisce's moon, so she can be
all over the place. But like, I love the openness
about Aquarius and they're not afraid of authority, like they're
(49:46):
their own authority and it's really beautiful. That concludes the
astrology portion of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
I do you plead?
Speaker 3 (49:55):
How do I plead?
Speaker 4 (49:57):
The emotions can be the via for your sole Uh,
try your hardest, I plead. I beg you to try
your hardest to access your feelings and for the ones
that can use that as ammunition for yourself love. You
can change your brain nor plasticity is real.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
That's so good. I'm so happy. Thank you so much
for coming out with us. Yes, where can people find
you on social media?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, m
A y A in the Moment, wherever you scroll what
about You Curly?
Speaker 2 (50:30):
You can find me at the Curly v Show. On
Instagram or TikTok. You know where can people find you
on social media?
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Dude, I am not on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (50:38):
I adam mean as a MONI A M I N
A Z A M A and I I mean as
a money on LinkedIn and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Thank you so so much, and thank you for being
here and for our audience for listening to another episode
of The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. Make sure to
hit that subscribe button to hear more episodes every single week.
The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast is a production of
(51:11):
Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.