October 2, 2024 • 46 mins
Join our hosts as they dive into the wild world of manipulation—but don’t worry, it’s all in good fun (mostly). They explore the sneaky tactics everyone secretly uses, from convincing your partner to pick the restaurant you wanted all along, to getting your cat to believe it’s a good idea to stop knocking things off the counter.
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Curly, do you want to go to the park?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
No? I'm okay, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Though, oh well, all the most beautiful people in the
world are going to be there and usually go to
the park, so I thought that you would go.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
But we're going to be there, maybe I can go.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
No, No, it's okay, you don't have to go.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You didn't mention before that it was like the beauty.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm actually thinking you would probably fail out a place there.
So yeah, oh you want to go, Okay, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
You know, I was inbnded when we first rehearsed this bit,
and I'm still abnded. Now get in here.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya, and welcome to
the Super Secret Best Club podcast. A super secret club
where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Get in here and that ladies and gentlemen, and the's
and them's was an example a manipulation with a little
bit of a zinger at the end.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
See she they them zay's, z's and everyone in betweens.
Welcome to the episode of manipulation.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Manipulation station. So curly, how's your spirit?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Oh my god, it's kind of been crazy, to be honest,
which I feel like if you watched the video of this,
go and look for the video or listen to the
podcast here and go watch the video. But you'll see
I'm hiding like my crazy hair underneath the hat and
wearing a shirt that looks like a pajama top. But
it's also giving like nineties vibes. No, I love it,
(01:53):
but like this morning, I woke up. My dogs wake
me up every single day at six am six am
because they want to go out, so but every morning
that I take them out, it is absolute chaos. It's chaos.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
You walk them both at the same time.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I walk them both at the same time. Two dogs
that were found in the hood in the cut that
were just like found on the streets found them. They're
now living in this gay apartment in West Adams and
we go out every morning, and there's always just one
thing that happens, like always, Like yesterday it was this
cat that just now lives like on the next building
over or like next door, and this cat like is
(02:29):
not afraid of dogs, so it doesn't usually want there's
a cat, we're coming up with the cat, the cat
will run. This one goes like arches its back and
it's like and I'm like, girl, I'm just trying to
get into the house. I don't want to fight you.
I don't want you to get scared, them to get scared.
I'm just trying to get in. That was one thing.
Then today I'm like leaving. I'm trying to come back
into my home and my next door my next door neighbor,
(02:50):
bless her heart, like like older Asian lady who has
the sweet little white dog decides sees me coming up,
decides to run towards me with her dog. So my
dogs are getting riled up and like I'm I mean,
like Blue the pipples like ninety pounds. Chloe's like a
(03:14):
solid maybe like fifteen, but she's she's a jumpin bier.
So she's in the air. She's like not even like
she's just fluttering her little wings and trying to attack
this woman and her dog, Blue trying to eat the dog.
I'm just looking at the lady like why would you
run towards us in this way? Like what is happening?
I'm losing my balance and I'm like, I'm just trying
to get back inside. I'm trying to get back inside,
(03:36):
brush my teeth, get some food in me because the
sun hasn't even come up yet.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
A single mom who works too hard, loves her kids,
never stops.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
But look in the house. They're the best in the house.
They'll come up to me every like thirty minutes. They
like want attention, they want love, And it's a nice
break from work, or it's a nice break from reality.
But like when I get into the world and they're
not like trying to eat the trash bags that I
need to use to pick up their poop, or the
dogs aren't from the neighbors aren't trying to get us,
(04:10):
or the cats aren't coming, or the ladies aren't coming.
You know. I just hope that I hope that there
is a heaven so that the Good Lord you're in it.
I mean, this is it. If this was If this
is it, you know, I'd just be like just leaving
my apartment, throw food in the mail slot. I'll just
live in here and like let the dog shut all over.
(04:30):
But other than that, how's your spirit?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Definitely less chaotic, for sure. I have heard these kind
of stories with people who have pets, and every single time,
I'm like, yeah, maybe I'm not ready for a pet,
or maybe I'm just, you know, should just take care
of myself. It's it's enough, and it's it's equally, if
(04:56):
not more as exhausting, because I feel like I I
am a pitple and a little a little yapper i
inside as well.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So, I mean, I heard this thing a long time
ago that said that you should at least at some
point in your life care for something outside of yourself.
It is one of the most like you know, and
that can mean anything. That can mean caretaking, that can
mean dogs. I mean, a baby can be a plant girl.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I just feel like I've done that growing up with
being like the eldest daughter. I mean, I'm I'm the
baby of the family. I'm the baby of the family,
but I feel like the eldest daughter, and I will
take that.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I listen, I'm the only daughter, which I am the
eldest daughter. There's no other daughter older than me and
my family, so I'm taking it and I'm kind of
I feel like an older sister. I sometimes I feel
like a little sister. But I feel like I've I
have caretake my entire care took my entire life. So
(06:01):
I think now I'm I feel like on vacation, you know,
until I have kids.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I was thinking about that this morning, actually, about how
when they went to your house this last time, you
were like maneuvering the couch and bringing out blankets.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I'm the family manager, so I can have like.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
A place to sleep in because I like was like,
I'm okay, and you're like, no, we're going to figure it out.
You're gonna sleep comfortable. You're can turn you about this,
and you had blankets, fresh blankets for me, And I
was thinking like, oh, that's really like like thoughtful in
advance to be like, let me make sure that he's comfortable,
because when people come to my aplace, I'm like, oh,
I only have one I only have one blanket. No,
(06:36):
you let me.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Sleep in your bed that one time. You know, you're
very hospitable.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I usually will be like, hey, I only have one
good blanket because I'm kind of like a minimalist. And
I'm like you can and it's all my bad, so
you could have my bed like it's fine, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
And that was during a time when we had like
a storm and my brother and his wife and the
little baby had to come stay with us, and Curly
was already staying with us, so it was a full house.
So we had to turner couches, which are not that comfortable,
into a bed. So that's the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
But it was so fun by the way too.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
So yes, today's episode is about manipulation.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
So I mean, look, this is something that I why
did this even come up? What were we talking about? Though?
We were like, oh, that would be a good topic
to talk about, manipulation.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Besides, I don't know you you kind of brought it up.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah. I brought it up because I think I was
watching something. Oh, I was having a conversation with somebody,
and I was telling them that when it comes to relationships,
and it comes to whether it's friendships, family, or romantic relationships,
I'm very good at conflict resolution. And the way that
I resolve conflict is that I have certain steps that
(07:49):
I do right. And he was like, oh, that's really
cool that you do that. That's really cool, and I
was and that You're like that's really sweet. Yeah, And
I was like, well, I don't know if I'm really
good at conflict resolution or if I'm just a master
manipulator and trying.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
To Aren't we all conflict Aren't all virgos master manipulators?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Well that that's what brings us to today's episode, is
that essentially we are all master manipulators, absolutely, and it's
kind of just like it's kind of just even just
the science of being alive. Right, Like, we manipulate each
other every single day. You manipulate your coworkers, You manipulate
your boyfriend, your partner, your child, your children are manipulating you.
(08:32):
The child that isn't sitting in the backseat of your
car right now as you're driving to work or school
to drop them off, has manipulated your ass down to
your fake eyelashes and your two little teeth and your
your crusty eyebrows. They that's too little teeth, which but
it's okay. Like so we basically like we started to
(08:54):
go have a little bit more of a conversation and like,
you know, let's start off with defining manipulation, right, it
is handle or control or a tool or mechanism, typically
in a skillful manner. So to manipulate water or to
handle it, right, to control it or it's to control
or influence a person or a situation cleverly, unfairly or scrumpuscrumpulously, unscrumpluously.
(09:21):
I don't know how to I don't even know how
to say that word, a scrump unscrupulously, unscrupulously anyway, so
it's yes, it's very much that, like she needing why, oh,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I don't know. I saw it in a movie. I
saw it in a movie. It wasn't in Star Wars.
I'm trying to do a Star Wars thing.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
You vile literally put her hand up like she was
gonna choke me, And I said, why I saw it.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
In a movie. I'm an actor, am I not?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know? But so this kind of defines manipulation as
like a bad thing, right, But I beg to differ that.
I think that it could be used in a positive way,
so you could use your powers. Energy is neither good
nor bad. You just get to decide how you want
to use it, you know. But like, do you, like,
(10:21):
I don't know, have you ever used manipulation before, Like
do you think it's good or bad? Like do you
think that in your own life used manipulation?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Absolutely? How do you think I got to where I am.
Every single person I've ever wanted something from, I say,
give it to me, Yeah, and I give it to me,
And I'm like, this is easy. No, for sure, I
feel like I have. You can manipulate your reality and
(10:48):
you can manipulate your circumstances by just like manifestation stuff. Right,
But at its core, I do feel like I was
a great manipulator growing up, but I didn't know exactly
what I was doing.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Because people don't know that they're doing it when they're
doing it.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Because it I feel like with my family and and
the some of the toxicity within the Latinas of my family,
they taught how they they teach you how to manipulate
because sometimes you have to. And is it manipulation or
is it just kind of like you know, you know,
(11:30):
you know in my big factory wedding where she's like,
the man is the head of the family, but the
woman is the neck and I can turn the head
any way that I want.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's that?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
And is that bad? Because you know, you get shit done?
And so I feel like in that sense, I feel
like it was it was a learned trait that later
on I found out was really toxic and you know,
through as lighting, through not gaslighting. Was it, uh, what
(12:06):
is it called? Were you guilt tripping?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Guilt tripping?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
It was the number one tactic that my mom would
my mom and her mom and her mom and her
mom's mom, like all of the girls, all of the
women in my family would use. And now my mom's like,
I'm so sorry. I didn't know what I was doing.
I knew what I was doing, but I didn't know
what I was doing. And so in that sense, yeah,
I remember growing up with that.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I feel like guilt tripping is one of the first
tactics that we all learned, because I feel like all
people in our family, at least you know, the women
in my family and maybe some of the men, like
they've all kind of done it to some extent, right,
And I remember being a kid and being like, it's fine,
I'll just starve at lunch while everybody else gets pizza
lunchibles you know what I mean, like certain things like that,
(12:50):
and sometimes like you don't mean too, but you're just
saying kind of like the reality and it makes your
parents or whoever feel likes in every way, but you
just mentioned too top like ways popular I'm and call
them popular ways that people manipulate that are very common.
And gaslighting, which is a term that like a lot
of people kind of use now but they don't really
(13:11):
know that it's sorry, my children are gonna be barking
up a storm. A lots of people don't know. The
gaslighting comes from like a nineteen forty eight film in
which a man confuses his wife about like actual gas
lights like flickering in the house, like he pretends like
they're not, and he drives her crazy. So the term
kind of became this thing now where people kind of
are gaslighting each other. Gaslighting is not necessarily disagreeing with
(13:35):
the individual on what happened. It's negating their experience completely.
So like when you gaslight, it's not like you're like, no,
that's something happened, and people are like, you're gaslighting me.
It's like, I'm not gaslighting, I'm just disagreeing. I'm just
disagreeing with you on what on what happened and what
I think happened. And then gil tripping is when you
(13:57):
make people feel kind of bad about themselves and you're
like it's fine, I mean I always spend Christmas alone,
but can.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I tell a little I feel like I've told this before,
but one time, my mom she would want me to
do British accents with her all the time, and we
were in the car and she's like, please, can we
do a British accent together. I'm like I don't want to.
I'm like I don't feel like it. She's like, it's okay,
(14:25):
I'll just get the other little girl at my work
to do it. And I go, hello, mommy. That type
of shit.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Well, you know. The other thing too, is like even
just the parent, the parent, teacher, the parent children child
dynamic is also that of influencing, like I'm in manipulation.
It's also like, you know, I looked up. I was
asking TADGBT a lot of different questions and one of
them was like, are kids manipulators? And it was like absolutely,
Like kids will use tactics like crying emotions to get
(15:13):
what they want, Like they'll use negotiation like bargaining tactics.
Like I used to be like if you let me
go to bed at nine o'clock versus eight thirty, I'll
clean my room, you know, And it's kind of like
you should be cleaning your room anyway, it's not be
negotiating with my ass about going to bed, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I mean I was a great negotiator growing up. My
parents said that I should be a lawyer growing up
because they'd be like, eat your peas, and I'm like,
I don't really like peas, and they're like, I don't care,
like eat everything off of your plate. Well, if I'm full,
why are you forcing me to eat? And they're like,
I'm not, You're wasting food? Am I wasting food? Or
did you just make too much?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Or do you just not know how much I eat?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Oh? My god? See, and like how do you do
with that? I mean. The other thing too, is like
I don't know if you used to do this, but
waiting for the right time to ask your parents for
something or just.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Generally or knowing like okay, I know that my dad
is gonna say yes, or want me to ask my
mom okay, so then I'll I know, not to ask
my mom as soon as she gets home. You know
what my brother and I would do. My mom would
want us to rub her feet all the time. She
(16:25):
was so tired, she worked so hard, and we hated
it because her feet were so stinky, and so we
would as we were rubbing her feet and she was
in this twilight zone of like kind of meditation stage,
like falling asleep. Then we would ask her for things
and then she would remember. We'd be like, remember you
told us yesterday that we could go, that we could
(16:45):
do it, and she'd like, I don't remember it. Oh
well it was while we were rubbing her feet, and
she's like, well I was asleep.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, well you said yes, so I'm so dead. There's
a joke not the same, but like there was a
joke in the names where they were saying like, ladies,
if you want something like do this like blow your
man and right when he's about to not pull it
away from your face and be like, oh my god,
I forgot to pay my water bill. He's so poor?
(17:18):
Which did I said, totally try, But like you know,
it's kind of like the other things to where they
say like waiting for the right time to ask your
parents and also like you kind of see like we
always think about how our parents manipulate us to do
things like oh well, like my mom was like, oh, well,
you know your just graduated college, Like that's really good.
(17:38):
He got his BA blah blah blah, like have you
thought about maybe going back to school? And this was
like when I was already kind of popping up in
my fashion career, and I was like, mom, I just
dressed this one celebrity. She's wearing my outpit to like
the brit Awards, which is like the Grammys of Britain,
of Britain, We're tome, And so I'm like, okay, and
then you feel kind of bad, like you well, the
(18:00):
other boys are wearing this or the other the other
girls are looking like this, but also too. It brought
up like another thing to me too, where I was like,
you can find manipulation like in nature, right, like they
say that a cat like the Mealba cat mimics. They
call it like a mimic cry, like it copies that
of like a baby, supposedly because I heard where I
(18:22):
heard this, but it was like, you know, it sounds
like a human baby, so that you can learn to
like love it and feed it and take care of
it a little bit.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
With cats manipulating cats, okay, boy, get except for kebots,
except for KBOs our producer engineers cats.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
You know the other part of it was like, you know,
even dogs They talk about how the evolution of how
dogs evolved to to kind of grow bigger puppy dog
eyes to kind of get what they want to get food,
like to get all these things, and like trust me,
like my dogs, I'll be so mad at them and
they look at me and I'm like, ugh, fucking manipulators.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
But you see it by doing it right now.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
You kind of have to go a little bit lower, Yeah,
like lower your face a little bit more like yeah,
oh please, oh please.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Pease.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
You know. The other thing too, is like you know,
you see it in like parasites, right, Like parasites they
kind of will manipulate their hosts. There's this one parasite
that goes into snails and they have you seen it,
Like they get like little like like there's like you know,
snails have like those little like eyeballs or feeler things
that move like they turn it like little like zombie.
And they have like little like ring orbs that kind
(19:38):
of go up and down them like they look like
little snails zombies, and they basically manipulate the hosts to
do whatever the fuck they want them to do, down
to using chemicals to manipulate other to other other creatures
like it is a part of what we do on
the daily. And one other things too that I wanted
to bring up was that, like, there's some ways that
(20:03):
you might be doing it every day that you just
don't know. Like people pleasing is a form of manipulation.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I saw that absolutely, because you're manipulating their view of
you that you're always a team player, you're always going
to be there, you're nice, you're kind, you're thoughtful, and
that not that any of those are not true, but
you're doing it for a gain, you know, for a reason,
(20:32):
And is it just survival at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It is, I mean doing things, doing kind things for
others and expecting a little bit of payback or expecting
people you.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Know, it's security, it's it's security.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
My sister back in the day used to be like,
can you do this for me? And I'd be like,
I don't want it. She'd be like, wow, okay, should go.
I'm gonna remember that. I'm gonna remember that when you
want me to take you to the mall. Well no, no, no,
it's okay, it's okay, it's my I.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Don't think there's anything wrong with that. I don't think
there's anything wrong with that, because yeah, I'm gonna I'm
gonna remember did you guys.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Did you used to say that to Okay, I'll be
like I remember that.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
No, Yeah, that's fine. You have every right to say no,
so do I.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I feel like it's some nineties though, to be like
I remember that. Okay, Yeah, no, it's fine. Don't ask
me to take you and your little stupid friends of
the mall next time.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, it's like, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Okay, but when you want me to take you to
the store the way you want me to do you
a favorite, I see it that Okay, Okay, that's fine,
you know. And it's like, girl, did you want to
take me to the mall out of the kindness of
your heart? Or you just wanted to hold something over
my head for the rest of my life?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Anything? Actually out of the kindness of our hearts?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
And that's the thing, right, Like, is our relationships just
an exchange of something. I am one of the people
that think that, like, well, we'll get to that too.
It is intention right, because the other ones that I
wrote here is like flattery is another one, which is like,
oh my god, you look so amazing, mom, you're the
best mom or like, boyfriend, you're the best boyfriend. You're
(22:09):
just so kind and then like you're like, babe, do
you want to go to see like I don't know,
the fucking cold play with me or some shit, and
they're like not my thing, like babe, but I don't know.
I was just saying my that you're just the cutest
boyfriend because even if you don't like it, you're always
down to go with me, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Like what but you know another one is like I
used to do this all the time, so embarrassing. I
don't do this anymore. It's like when you want them
to do something for you, so you say, oh my god,
you know, Brendan to offer to come over because I
was scared because of that thing that happened, Like isn't
(22:49):
he so nice to offer protection? I straight up to
I have said this to like a guy that I
was dating, and then that guy's like, oh that's good. Yeah,
And I'm like, don't aren't you offended? Aren't you like activated?
Aren't you like you know that this this other guy
(23:09):
offered to stay with me and you did it. And
you're the guy that like I'm seeing right.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Now, like to get what you want, and what you
want is for him to come and.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Give you yeah, and to I mean, yeah, that was
a scary time and he was just like that sucks,
like and another time was like with another another guy
was like the same thing where it's like, oh my gosh,
like all of these guys are telling me like, you know,
are just in my dms and are blah blah blah blah.
(23:41):
And it's because the guy that I was dating at
the time wasn't very like, you know, affectionate with their
words or affectionate period. It was just kind of like
I felt like I wasn't being like desired or wanted
but by these other people. So I would be like, man,
these other people are saying that your girlfriend's hot and
(24:01):
you're not doing anything like in your chilling.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I mean, those are really funny ways to get it
never works. Well. That wouldn't work on me either, because
if some guy was like, oh, these guys are trying
to say what's up to me, I'd be like, then
ghos kadato, go who is this guy? It doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
It always backfires. You know what works breaking up with them?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
That works? You know what has worked for me? Is
being like can you come over? And then if they
say no, I get mad. Just being straight up. But
the other one too, the last one that I was
found it was very common, is leveraging sympathy like I
can't do that. I'm sick. Oh my god, Like you know,
being like playing the victim in a lot of ways
(24:44):
can be a really good way. I have seen, oh
my god, in relationships where like, well my last boyfriend
used to do this, and so now I just you know,
I don't really like that. And then you'd be like, Okay,
I don't want to be anything like the last boyfriend,
so I'm going to do this and I'm gonna be
an ap Ples student. And you're like yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I know people who are like, well, it's not you
know you you're married and you have kids, and you
have this and that, and I don't because it's like, well,
you're not. You don't have anything any other thing to
like hinder you. You're just like manipulating me into having
(25:25):
sympathy for you so that I don't expect more of you,
because you want to keep the bar so low so
I don't ask you for anything. Maybe you want to
ask for money, you want to ask for other things.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
You can have sympathy for people, and I think that
I can certainly like relate to people and go like,
I know what it's I know what it's like to
uh be a single mom with two kids because I
have two crazy.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Dogs, single mom who works too hard, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I get it. But there's also just things where I'm like,
at one point to you go like handle it, because
that's your reality and you have to kind of figure
it out.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Like, yes, yeah there was something yesterday. I was talking
to someone and they're like, yeah, but you know they're
they're go they're a grown ass woman. They're grown they're
in their fucking thirties. To stop having sympathy for them.
We all have access to therapy, we all have access
to buy now you should handle your shit.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah. Well, the thing is that I do feel like
when it comes to patterns that people do, like I
don't know that some people know that they are using
manipulation tactics, do you know what I mean? Like, I
don't know that people understand that like being a people pleaser,
being a people pleaser, being somebody that uses flattery to
(26:43):
get what you want, you know, Like I, for example,
one of the things that I always say when I
resolve conflict is I like to kind of like say
back to the person what I think it is that
they are saying to me. So what I hear you
say saying is you feel like I when I didn't
(27:03):
do this, you felt like I'm not taking you seriously
and I'm not taking you like I'm not holding you
in a safe place or or you know, I'm not,
I'm not. What's the way I'm looking for like I'm
not I'm not. I don't know like I'm not I'm
not like holding you. I'm just gonna say like I'm
not holding you like in a safe place. I'm not,
(27:24):
I'm not seeing you. And so what I like to
do is to go like, I see you, I understand
what you're saying, and saying that this is where I'm
having trouble understanding this part, in this part, in this part.
So for me, I like to do that because I
like to feel like I want to defuse the situation,
because I don't want to be like, well, I think this.
I'm using it as a way to go like, I
(27:44):
want you to know that I see you. I want
you to know that I'm trying, and I want you
to know that I'm I'm wanting to resolve this conflict,
which sounds great, But am I do The question is
is that am I doing that because I don't like tension,
because I don't like because I don't like a conflict
in that way, and I'm trying to diffuse it. So
(28:05):
like it goes back to what are your intentions when
you are manipulating a situation, Because essentially, when I'm manipulating
conflict in that way or when I'm resolving conflict, it
is a smaller form of manipulation, which I think is
good because what's the point of yelling at each other
When I can say I see you. I go down
my list of things that I do anyway, right like
(28:28):
with with my family and stuff like that. We have
a lot of stuff going on right now. I try
to go, these are the things that I think you're
winning at. These are the things that I think you're
killing it at. Like you're you're killing it, but like,
this is one thing that I have a little question about.
This is one thing that I'm I'm wondering about, And
so it goes back to your intent If I wanted
(28:50):
it to do that because I want to be like,
I want to be the one that they all like,
and I want to come off as being like mother
treesa which I fucking hate by the way that people
my mom called me mother Trees, and I have friends
that call me mother Teresa too, and I'm like, I'm
not that, you know, but if I can. But one
of the things that I think people talk about in
(29:13):
terms of what is a good form of manipulation is
that it's encouragement and support, like a parent might ease.
This is a sysm that we read like a parent
might use gentle persuasion to encourage a child to a
child to adopt healthy habits or pursue their interests, like, Wow,
you're a really good artist. You should become you should
(29:34):
look into becoming an artist. Like that's manipulation, do you
(29:54):
know what I mean? Like why do you want them
to become an artist? Is your intention that they do
something that you you used to do? Is it your
attention that you're like wanting them to kind of like
grow up to be in the creative field? Like what
is like your your purpose? And then the other one
is complict resolution Like this says mediators and Counselors often
(30:14):
use techniques that involve subtly guiding individuals toward towards mutual
understanding and resolution. So it's like, oh, yeah, that's exactly
like professionals do it all day long. Like you want
to go into like a therapist to talk about what's
happening with you and your husband of twenty five years
who suddenly won't sleep, whatever, won't do things with you
(30:35):
or whatever. The therapist will use techniques to make it
so that they are manipulating the situation to bring you
both to the table, which is fascinating to me.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Well, well I saw you disappear and I was like,
how do I'm going to stop talking? So she comes back?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I no, I was here. I was just like, what today?
Eat something today? Am I manipulating my stomach by eating?
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:09):
It's very interesting. I like that. I feel like there
are good ways to manipulate there. I think manipulation is inevitable.
I think we're constantly being manipulated by society and capitalism
and it's just all around us all the time. But
I think we get to it's kind of like with
(31:32):
great power comes great responsibility, Right, We're all responsible for
each other and how we operate and how we show
up and how we acknowledge people, and some people straight
up manipulate to get things that they want. I've totally
been manipulated by like somebody who was like who would
(31:55):
literally like lower her voice and be like, Maita, how
do I get a branded deal? Or how do I
get blah blah blah blah, or how do I do this? Maita?
I can't figure this out?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Can you?
Speaker 1 (32:08):
And I'd be like, okay, yeah, no, yeah, let me
help you, like using that sweet voice for me, calling
me Mayita is like my little like nickname that like
only my loved ones used to call me, you know,
like that definitely, And then and then it's like later
on you hear they're talking about you. They don't give
(32:29):
a fuck about you. You're like I thought that I was,
but oh, you only want me when I okay, got
I gotta get and when I don't benefit, when you
don't benefit from me, Suddenly I'm not okay, got it,
got it, okay, gotta get got got it?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
And I know exactly what you're talking about. But yeah, for.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Sure, we've all been manipulated by that person.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Just like put a little bow on it too. When
you think about the way that you manipulate people, because
we all do it, think about your intention and and
hold yourself accountable for those things, right, Like what your intention?
If you're just like, look, I'm just trying to make
peace and manipulate the situation, that's okay. Be transparent like
you tend good. It's as good manipulation tends to be
open and honest, Like, just be honest, like I'm just
(33:11):
trying to diffuse the situation. Like I had one partner
that was like, every time I talk to you, when
something happens you, I feel like you fuck with my brain.
Like I feel like you're fucking with my brain. And
I'm like, well, I kind of am because I'm wanting
to understand you and I want you to hold yourself
accountable for the things that you're doing. So I'm asking
you questions to see if you can come to that
conclusion yourself rather than me pointing the finger and being
(33:34):
like you're an asshole. And the other also, and the
other thing too, is that you have to respect people's
autonomy in terms of how they want to move right.
So earlier example was like, oh, you don't want to
go to the park and I'm like, now, I'm okay, Like,
oh okay, Well, I respect your decision not going. There
will be other people there. The invite is still open.
(33:56):
But I respect your decision. Whatever it is that you
want to do, and I still love you. You can
tell people what it is that you want. I would
love your company. I would love for you to come
with me. These are my actual needs, These are my
actual wants from you. But I respect your decision to
not do what I want to do. And maybe next
time you asked me to take you and your little
(34:17):
stinky friends to them all, I'll have to reconsider, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And nobody is a saint. Nobody is Mother Teresa at all.
Everyone has their little dirty moments like.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah, you know I watch porn all the time, Like
I'm not mother Teresa. Mother Teresa doesn't watch porn.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
And welcome to the astrology portion of the podcast. You
wrote down which signs are manipulating assholes?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
That says as Schule's Oh oh as sureless are less
who are the most manipulated? Manipulative science use that into I.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Don't remember, I think you're manipulating me. I was gonna
say I think that aries are blatant, like you know,
when they're manipulating, they have no like, uh, chill about it.
Like I think they're very like for the park thing,
(35:27):
they'd be like you never go out, you never do anything,
you never blah blah blah blah, and that kind of
makes the other person cower and be like, oh, that's
already an insecurity of mine. Yeah, I guess I'll go okay,
like guilt tripping them, but using like that's where that
manipulation gets very like icky sticky, is like you only
want me to go with you, so that because a
(35:49):
guy is there, Yeah, like because you want like somebody
there and not just me. You don't even give a
fuck about what I'm doing or what I want to do,
Like I I feel like aries april aries can do
that sometimes, but also they forget about it. They forget
and they don't even know what they're doing it.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
I feel like aries I tend to be very controlling.
And this is not a read on you, but I
think that like aries that I have seen, like they
like control and sometimes they'll use the manipulation to control
others around them, and when others don't do or fall
into the place that they would like them to fall into.
They get very upset and they burn it all down.
(36:32):
They burn it all down, and it's like, you know,
one of the things that I'm like, you have to
let I had somebody in my life that's told me
about somebody in their life that wasn't aries, that was
trying to control them a lot, and that when they
started to defend themselves or kind of go their own
way the areas in their life was kind of like, well,
fuck it, we're not I don't want to be friendsic anymore.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Then you know, Yeah, I think fire signs sometimes the
lowest vibrating fire sign, the dark shadow of the night
like kind of signs can get there. The fire signs
can be I think not only I think every single
sign can be manipulative, of course, but I think something
(37:16):
about the fire signs where they'll be in They have
a different interest sometimes and it's self serving. But you
know the other side of it is like, I know
you would enjoy this, and I want to bring you
out to do this. Please just trust me and let's go.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Why can't you say that though exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Exactly period, I.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Feel like virgos in my opinion that I have seen
uh Tauruses and capricorns. The Earth signs are also like
very manipulative signs, but I feel like Earth signs are
a little bit more like passive aggressive in my like you.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Don't even know what's happening.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, I just feel like Earth science are a little
bit more like no, it's fine, like it's cool, Like
I just was just trying to hang with you, but
it's okay another time, like don't worry, you know what
I mean? Like, or I feel like Earth science will
be like I mean, it's the place where everyone is
going and everyone's going to be in heptatoe passions, but yeah, whatever,
(38:23):
you know what I mean. Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
I try to think, like I think Pisces and cancers
unfortunately can be some of the most manipulating because of
their passive aggressiveness and I think sometimes the lowest vibration
of it, they can use their victimhood as a tool
(38:47):
as a weapon.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
See. I feel like with my Pisce's friends, I don't
experience that as much. I experienced that that in dating
of Pisces, but I don't experience that in my friendships
with Pisces, because I find Pisces be extremely self sufficient
and yes.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
The lowest vibrating, the lowest vibrating. I have dated a
Pisces that has who would literally be like, oh, well, like,
would you would try to guilt trip me into dating them?
And I'm like, that is the nastiest, grossest thing ever.
I would never, ever, ever like. They'd be like, I
(39:27):
would be like, okay, well I don't you know, I
don't think that we're good together. I don't I don't
want to be with you whatever, Okay, well take care,
I guess yeah, all right, well so yes, And then
a month later they text me, hey, a, Maya, I
just want to see how you're doing. Don't answer, well,
I guess that's it. Then are you sure? What about
(39:51):
my silence made you think that I wanted you to
text me?
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Oh my god, I know. I meet every X meet
with all my cancer exes. I feel like they kind
of like made me get into their relationships with them
because their love was just so delicious. And then I
was like, yeah, well I don't know, and they're like,
well then I'll see you never then and then they're
like walking away, and I'm like, wait, that was what?
(40:21):
You know?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
What I do feel like is I think virgos can
be manipulated the most. The nice, nice ones that I've
noticed that are like they they're so in their heads
yeah that I feel like sometimes they think like, oh yeah,
(40:43):
well I'm ready a piece of shit. So yeah, for sure,
I need to like do whatever they want. And that's
where and libras. I have one of my cousins is
like a virgo libri cusp and I have to tell her,
tell me when you don't want to do something, don't
just do something because I want to do it. Don't
do don't like say yes or say tell me what
(41:06):
you really want, tell me how you really feel, and
I will still love you.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely like easy to manipulate for sure,
I would say, because I always want to see both sides,
and I think levers want to see both sides too,
so they're like, oh yeah, I could see that. That's
why I'm like, don't talk to me too much. I
need to go check with I need to check with
like my royal court, and I need to see what
the court.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
That's where I feel the most protective is because I'm like,
leave them alone.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Yeah, we're like, huh, leave them alone, Okay, but who
is the number one manipulative sign? If you have to
go down the.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Who's I'm not educated enough for that.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
I would say that the number one manipulator in the
entire zodiac sign. I don't know. I kind of want
to I kind of want to say, like I kind
of want to say, I don't want to say it.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Okay, Well, this is this is why I want to clarify.
Is that, like you, we're talking about the lowest vibrating
If if you've been listening to this podcast a long time,
you know my definition of low vibration high vibration. Okay,
So then low the lowest of the lowest of the
low ist like oh the people who you're like, man,
(42:32):
fuck Pisces, and it's because of all of these bad things,
because they're they have no accountability, they have no whatever.
Like the lowest of the low. We know we all
know a person of every single sign of the lowest
of the low.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Okay, So let's see lowest of the low, lowest vibration.
At the same time, let's say the sign that we
think is manipulator.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Okay, I don't want to do it, scared, well, I too,
one dours Oh Okay, yeah, well, I would say I
would say the Earth signs. I would say the Earth
signs taken, the Earth signs taken, because y'all are smart.
(43:18):
You're smart. And sometimes my all of my lights are
not on. I got one blinking light and it's on
her last little bolt, and you know, I'm going to
use that energy to like go do something else, not manipulate.
You know, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Virgos are wild, like I see low vibration burgos and
I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
I dated someone who was like, like, oh my god.
The way he would talk about his sister was just
so horrible and like just about her her intelligence, and
he had like edit a paper something of hers and
I was like, damn, that's how you speak about your family, bro.
Like and then he'll be nice to her the next day,
you know, And I'm like, Okay, hey, have you not
(44:00):
been real with me? I don't know what's real and
what's not.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Sounds like my exploy friend. And that concludes the zodiac section. Maya,
how do you plead.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Manipulation is it can be used for good and bad.
We all know we all can wield power, and we
have so many tools and we have choices, and those
choices always have an effect and a cause and consequences.
(44:33):
So what type of manipulation do you want to put
into the world today, Like manipulate yourself into I manipulated
myself into walking today. I said, I can play my
video game, but I have to be walking on my
walking pad. Yeah, and it was really hard to like
run on my video game and then walk on my
walking pad. I almost felt like a couple times. But like,
(44:55):
use the manipulation for good absolutely.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Depletely ditto, like I very rarely, I'm like, yep, but
like ditto exactly. Like My only wish is that if
you become aware of how you're manipulating a situation, that
you hold yourself accountable, that you asked, that you ask,
that you ask yourself what your intentions are, and then
you just make decisions that are rooted in the greater
good of you, but mostly the people around you. And
(45:23):
so I hope that you use your powers for good,
and I hope that you love yourself, and I hope
that you love the people around you. Maya where canting
people find you on social media.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
You can find me at my in the moment, at
a ya in the moment anyway, were you scroll?
Speaker 2 (45:38):
What about you? You can find me at the Curly
v Show on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Thank you so much for listening to The Super Secret
Besty Club. Make sure to hit us up on our
social media to let us know what you want to
listen to on another episode. And that's it. We thinking
of eut the Club podcast, and we just manipulated you
this whole time. Everything you heard was not true. It
was fake. You just got just kidding.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael
Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, Curly, do you want to go to the park?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
No? I'm okay, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Though, oh well, all the most beautiful people in the
world are going to be there and usually go to
the park, so I thought that you would go.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
But we're going to be there, maybe I can go.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
No, No, it's okay, you don't have to go.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You didn't mention before that it was like the beauty.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm actually thinking you would probably fail out a place there.
So yeah, oh you want to go, Okay, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
You know, I was inbnded when we first rehearsed this bit,
and I'm still abnded. Now get in here.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya, and welcome to
the Super Secret Best Club podcast. A super secret club
where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Get in here and that ladies and gentlemen, and the's
and them's was an example a manipulation with a little
bit of a zinger at the end.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
See she they them zay's, z's and everyone in betweens.
Welcome to the episode of manipulation.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Manipulation station. So curly, how's your spirit?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Oh my god, it's kind of been crazy, to be honest,
which I feel like if you watched the video of this,
go and look for the video or listen to the
podcast here and go watch the video. But you'll see
I'm hiding like my crazy hair underneath the hat and
wearing a shirt that looks like a pajama top. But
it's also giving like nineties vibes. No, I love it,
(01:53):
but like this morning, I woke up. My dogs wake
me up every single day at six am six am
because they want to go out, so but every morning
that I take them out, it is absolute chaos. It's chaos.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
You walk them both at the same time.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I walk them both at the same time. Two dogs
that were found in the hood in the cut that
were just like found on the streets found them. They're
now living in this gay apartment in West Adams and
we go out every morning, and there's always just one
thing that happens, like always, Like yesterday it was this
cat that just now lives like on the next building
over or like next door, and this cat like is
(02:29):
not afraid of dogs, so it doesn't usually want there's
a cat, we're coming up with the cat, the cat
will run. This one goes like arches its back and
it's like and I'm like, girl, I'm just trying to
get into the house. I don't want to fight you.
I don't want you to get scared, them to get scared.
I'm just trying to get in. That was one thing.
Then today I'm like leaving. I'm trying to come back
into my home and my next door my next door neighbor,
(02:50):
bless her heart, like like older Asian lady who has
the sweet little white dog decides sees me coming up,
decides to run towards me with her dog. So my
dogs are getting riled up and like I'm I mean,
like Blue the pipples like ninety pounds. Chloe's like a
(03:14):
solid maybe like fifteen, but she's she's a jumpin bier.
So she's in the air. She's like not even like
she's just fluttering her little wings and trying to attack
this woman and her dog, Blue trying to eat the dog.
I'm just looking at the lady like why would you
run towards us in this way? Like what is happening?
I'm losing my balance and I'm like, I'm just trying
to get back inside. I'm trying to get back inside,
(03:36):
brush my teeth, get some food in me because the
sun hasn't even come up yet.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
A single mom who works too hard, loves her kids,
never stops.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
But look in the house. They're the best in the house.
They'll come up to me every like thirty minutes. They
like want attention, they want love, And it's a nice
break from work, or it's a nice break from reality.
But like when I get into the world and they're
not like trying to eat the trash bags that I
need to use to pick up their poop, or the
dogs aren't from the neighbors aren't trying to get us,
(04:10):
or the cats aren't coming, or the ladies aren't coming.
You know. I just hope that I hope that there
is a heaven so that the Good Lord you're in it.
I mean, this is it. If this was If this
is it, you know, I'd just be like just leaving
my apartment, throw food in the mail slot. I'll just
live in here and like let the dog shut all over.
(04:30):
But other than that, how's your spirit?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Definitely less chaotic, for sure. I have heard these kind
of stories with people who have pets, and every single time,
I'm like, yeah, maybe I'm not ready for a pet,
or maybe I'm just, you know, should just take care
of myself. It's it's enough, and it's it's equally, if
(04:56):
not more as exhausting, because I feel like I I
am a pitple and a little a little yapper i
inside as well.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So, I mean, I heard this thing a long time
ago that said that you should at least at some
point in your life care for something outside of yourself.
It is one of the most like you know, and
that can mean anything. That can mean caretaking, that can
mean dogs. I mean, a baby can be a plant girl.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I just feel like I've done that growing up with
being like the eldest daughter. I mean, I'm I'm the
baby of the family. I'm the baby of the family,
but I feel like the eldest daughter, and I will
take that.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I listen, I'm the only daughter, which I am the
eldest daughter. There's no other daughter older than me and
my family, so I'm taking it and I'm kind of
I feel like an older sister. I sometimes I feel
like a little sister. But I feel like I've I
have caretake my entire care took my entire life. So
(06:01):
I think now I'm I feel like on vacation, you know,
until I have kids.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I was thinking about that this morning, actually, about how
when they went to your house this last time, you
were like maneuvering the couch and bringing out blankets.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I'm the family manager, so I can have like.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
A place to sleep in because I like was like,
I'm okay, and you're like, no, we're going to figure it out.
You're gonna sleep comfortable. You're can turn you about this,
and you had blankets, fresh blankets for me, And I
was thinking like, oh, that's really like like thoughtful in
advance to be like, let me make sure that he's comfortable,
because when people come to my aplace, I'm like, oh,
I only have one I only have one blanket. No,
(06:36):
you let me.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Sleep in your bed that one time. You know, you're
very hospitable.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I usually will be like, hey, I only have one
good blanket because I'm kind of like a minimalist. And
I'm like you can and it's all my bad, so
you could have my bed like it's fine, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
And that was during a time when we had like
a storm and my brother and his wife and the
little baby had to come stay with us, and Curly
was already staying with us, so it was a full house.
So we had to turner couches, which are not that comfortable,
into a bed. So that's the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
But it was so fun by the way too.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
So yes, today's episode is about manipulation.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
So I mean, look, this is something that I why
did this even come up? What were we talking about? Though?
We were like, oh, that would be a good topic
to talk about, manipulation.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Besides, I don't know you you kind of brought it up.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah. I brought it up because I think I was
watching something. Oh, I was having a conversation with somebody,
and I was telling them that when it comes to relationships,
and it comes to whether it's friendships, family, or romantic relationships,
I'm very good at conflict resolution. And the way that
I resolve conflict is that I have certain steps that
(07:49):
I do right. And he was like, oh, that's really
cool that you do that. That's really cool, and I
was and that You're like that's really sweet. Yeah, And
I was like, well, I don't know if I'm really
good at conflict resolution or if I'm just a master
manipulator and trying.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
To Aren't we all conflict Aren't all virgos master manipulators?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Well that that's what brings us to today's episode, is
that essentially we are all master manipulators, absolutely, and it's
kind of just like it's kind of just even just
the science of being alive. Right, Like, we manipulate each
other every single day. You manipulate your coworkers, You manipulate
your boyfriend, your partner, your child, your children are manipulating you.
(08:32):
The child that isn't sitting in the backseat of your
car right now as you're driving to work or school
to drop them off, has manipulated your ass down to
your fake eyelashes and your two little teeth and your
your crusty eyebrows. They that's too little teeth, which but
it's okay. Like so we basically like we started to
(08:54):
go have a little bit more of a conversation and like,
you know, let's start off with defining manipulation, right, it
is handle or control or a tool or mechanism, typically
in a skillful manner. So to manipulate water or to
handle it, right, to control it or it's to control
or influence a person or a situation cleverly, unfairly or scrumpuscrumpulously, unscrumpluously.
(09:21):
I don't know how to I don't even know how
to say that word, a scrump unscrupulously, unscrupulously anyway, so
it's yes, it's very much that, like she needing why, oh,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I don't know. I saw it in a movie. I
saw it in a movie. It wasn't in Star Wars.
I'm trying to do a Star Wars thing.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
You vile literally put her hand up like she was
gonna choke me, And I said, why I saw it.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
In a movie. I'm an actor, am I not?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know? But so this kind of defines manipulation as
like a bad thing, right, But I beg to differ that.
I think that it could be used in a positive way,
so you could use your powers. Energy is neither good
nor bad. You just get to decide how you want
to use it, you know. But like, do you, like,
(10:21):
I don't know, have you ever used manipulation before, Like
do you think it's good or bad? Like do you
think that in your own life used manipulation?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Absolutely? How do you think I got to where I am.
Every single person I've ever wanted something from, I say,
give it to me, Yeah, and I give it to me,
And I'm like, this is easy. No, for sure, I
feel like I have. You can manipulate your reality and
(10:48):
you can manipulate your circumstances by just like manifestation stuff. Right,
But at its core, I do feel like I was
a great manipulator growing up, but I didn't know exactly
what I was doing.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Because people don't know that they're doing it when they're
doing it.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Because it I feel like with my family and and
the some of the toxicity within the Latinas of my family,
they taught how they they teach you how to manipulate
because sometimes you have to. And is it manipulation or
is it just kind of like you know, you know,
(11:30):
you know in my big factory wedding where she's like,
the man is the head of the family, but the
woman is the neck and I can turn the head
any way that I want.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's that?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
And is that bad? Because you know, you get shit done?
And so I feel like in that sense, I feel
like it was it was a learned trait that later
on I found out was really toxic and you know,
through as lighting, through not gaslighting. Was it, uh, what
(12:06):
is it called? Were you guilt tripping?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Guilt tripping?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
It was the number one tactic that my mom would
my mom and her mom and her mom and her
mom's mom, like all of the girls, all of the
women in my family would use. And now my mom's like,
I'm so sorry. I didn't know what I was doing.
I knew what I was doing, but I didn't know
what I was doing. And so in that sense, yeah,
I remember growing up with that.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I feel like guilt tripping is one of the first
tactics that we all learned, because I feel like all
people in our family, at least you know, the women
in my family and maybe some of the men, like
they've all kind of done it to some extent, right,
And I remember being a kid and being like, it's fine,
I'll just starve at lunch while everybody else gets pizza
lunchibles you know what I mean, like certain things like that,
(12:50):
and sometimes like you don't mean too, but you're just
saying kind of like the reality and it makes your
parents or whoever feel likes in every way, but you
just mentioned too top like ways popular I'm and call
them popular ways that people manipulate that are very common.
And gaslighting, which is a term that like a lot
of people kind of use now but they don't really
(13:11):
know that it's sorry, my children are gonna be barking
up a storm. A lots of people don't know. The
gaslighting comes from like a nineteen forty eight film in
which a man confuses his wife about like actual gas
lights like flickering in the house, like he pretends like
they're not, and he drives her crazy. So the term
kind of became this thing now where people kind of
are gaslighting each other. Gaslighting is not necessarily disagreeing with
(13:35):
the individual on what happened. It's negating their experience completely.
So like when you gaslight, it's not like you're like, no,
that's something happened, and people are like, you're gaslighting me.
It's like, I'm not gaslighting, I'm just disagreeing. I'm just
disagreeing with you on what on what happened and what
I think happened. And then gil tripping is when you
(13:57):
make people feel kind of bad about themselves and you're
like it's fine, I mean I always spend Christmas alone,
but can.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I tell a little I feel like I've told this before,
but one time, my mom she would want me to
do British accents with her all the time, and we
were in the car and she's like, please, can we
do a British accent together. I'm like I don't want to.
I'm like I don't feel like it. She's like, it's okay,
(14:25):
I'll just get the other little girl at my work
to do it. And I go, hello, mommy. That type
of shit.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Well, you know. The other thing too, is like even
just the parent, the parent, teacher, the parent children child
dynamic is also that of influencing, like I'm in manipulation.
It's also like, you know, I looked up. I was
asking TADGBT a lot of different questions and one of
them was like, are kids manipulators? And it was like absolutely,
Like kids will use tactics like crying emotions to get
(15:13):
what they want, Like they'll use negotiation like bargaining tactics.
Like I used to be like if you let me
go to bed at nine o'clock versus eight thirty, I'll
clean my room, you know, And it's kind of like
you should be cleaning your room anyway, it's not be
negotiating with my ass about going to bed, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I mean I was a great negotiator growing up. My
parents said that I should be a lawyer growing up
because they'd be like, eat your peas, and I'm like,
I don't really like peas, and they're like, I don't care,
like eat everything off of your plate. Well, if I'm full,
why are you forcing me to eat? And they're like,
I'm not, You're wasting food? Am I wasting food? Or
did you just make too much?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Or do you just not know how much I eat?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Oh? My god? See, and like how do you do
with that? I mean. The other thing too, is like
I don't know if you used to do this, but
waiting for the right time to ask your parents for
something or just.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Generally or knowing like okay, I know that my dad
is gonna say yes, or want me to ask my
mom okay, so then I'll I know, not to ask
my mom as soon as she gets home. You know
what my brother and I would do. My mom would
want us to rub her feet all the time. She
(16:25):
was so tired, she worked so hard, and we hated
it because her feet were so stinky, and so we
would as we were rubbing her feet and she was
in this twilight zone of like kind of meditation stage,
like falling asleep. Then we would ask her for things
and then she would remember. We'd be like, remember you
told us yesterday that we could go, that we could
(16:45):
do it, and she'd like, I don't remember it. Oh
well it was while we were rubbing her feet, and
she's like, well I was asleep.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, well you said yes, so I'm so dead. There's
a joke not the same, but like there was a
joke in the names where they were saying like, ladies,
if you want something like do this like blow your
man and right when he's about to not pull it
away from your face and be like, oh my god,
I forgot to pay my water bill. He's so poor?
(17:18):
Which did I said, totally try, But like you know,
it's kind of like the other things to where they
say like waiting for the right time to ask your
parents and also like you kind of see like we
always think about how our parents manipulate us to do
things like oh well, like my mom was like, oh, well,
you know your just graduated college, Like that's really good.
(17:38):
He got his BA blah blah blah, like have you
thought about maybe going back to school? And this was
like when I was already kind of popping up in
my fashion career, and I was like, mom, I just
dressed this one celebrity. She's wearing my outpit to like
the brit Awards, which is like the Grammys of Britain,
of Britain, We're tome, And so I'm like, okay, and
then you feel kind of bad, like you well, the
(18:00):
other boys are wearing this or the other the other
girls are looking like this, but also too. It brought
up like another thing to me too, where I was like,
you can find manipulation like in nature, right, like they
say that a cat like the Mealba cat mimics. They
call it like a mimic cry, like it copies that
of like a baby, supposedly because I heard where I
(18:22):
heard this, but it was like, you know, it sounds
like a human baby, so that you can learn to
like love it and feed it and take care of
it a little bit.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
With cats manipulating cats, okay, boy, get except for kebots,
except for KBOs our producer engineers cats.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
You know the other part of it was like, you know,
even dogs They talk about how the evolution of how
dogs evolved to to kind of grow bigger puppy dog
eyes to kind of get what they want to get food,
like to get all these things, and like trust me,
like my dogs, I'll be so mad at them and
they look at me and I'm like, ugh, fucking manipulators.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
But you see it by doing it right now.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
You kind of have to go a little bit lower, Yeah,
like lower your face a little bit more like yeah,
oh please, oh please.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Pease.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
You know. The other thing too, is like you know,
you see it in like parasites, right, Like parasites they
kind of will manipulate their hosts. There's this one parasite
that goes into snails and they have you seen it,
Like they get like little like like there's like you know,
snails have like those little like eyeballs or feeler things
that move like they turn it like little like zombie.
And they have like little like ring orbs that kind
(19:38):
of go up and down them like they look like
little snails zombies, and they basically manipulate the hosts to
do whatever the fuck they want them to do, down
to using chemicals to manipulate other to other other creatures
like it is a part of what we do on
the daily. And one other things too that I wanted
to bring up was that, like, there's some ways that
(20:03):
you might be doing it every day that you just
don't know. Like people pleasing is a form of manipulation.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I saw that absolutely, because you're manipulating their view of
you that you're always a team player, you're always going
to be there, you're nice, you're kind, you're thoughtful, and
that not that any of those are not true, but
you're doing it for a gain, you know, for a reason,
(20:32):
And is it just survival at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It is, I mean doing things, doing kind things for
others and expecting a little bit of payback or expecting
people you.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Know, it's security, it's it's security.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
My sister back in the day used to be like,
can you do this for me? And I'd be like,
I don't want it. She'd be like, wow, okay, should go.
I'm gonna remember that. I'm gonna remember that when you
want me to take you to the mall. Well no, no, no,
it's okay, it's okay, it's my I.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Don't think there's anything wrong with that. I don't think
there's anything wrong with that, because yeah, I'm gonna I'm
gonna remember did you guys.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Did you used to say that to Okay, I'll be
like I remember that.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
No, Yeah, that's fine. You have every right to say no,
so do I.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I feel like it's some nineties though, to be like
I remember that. Okay, Yeah, no, it's fine. Don't ask
me to take you and your little stupid friends of
the mall next time.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, it's like, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Okay, but when you want me to take you to
the store the way you want me to do you
a favorite, I see it that Okay, Okay, that's fine,
you know. And it's like, girl, did you want to
take me to the mall out of the kindness of
your heart? Or you just wanted to hold something over
my head for the rest of my life?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Anything? Actually out of the kindness of our hearts?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
And that's the thing, right, Like, is our relationships just
an exchange of something. I am one of the people
that think that, like, well, we'll get to that too.
It is intention right, because the other ones that I
wrote here is like flattery is another one, which is like,
oh my god, you look so amazing, mom, you're the
best mom or like, boyfriend, you're the best boyfriend. You're
(22:09):
just so kind and then like you're like, babe, do
you want to go to see like I don't know,
the fucking cold play with me or some shit, and
they're like not my thing, like babe, but I don't know.
I was just saying my that you're just the cutest
boyfriend because even if you don't like it, you're always
down to go with me, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Like what but you know another one is like I
used to do this all the time, so embarrassing. I
don't do this anymore. It's like when you want them
to do something for you, so you say, oh my god,
you know, Brendan to offer to come over because I
was scared because of that thing that happened, Like isn't
(22:49):
he so nice to offer protection? I straight up to
I have said this to like a guy that I
was dating, and then that guy's like, oh that's good. Yeah,
And I'm like, don't aren't you offended? Aren't you like activated?
Aren't you like you know that this this other guy
(23:09):
offered to stay with me and you did it. And
you're the guy that like I'm seeing right.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Now, like to get what you want, and what you
want is for him to come and.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Give you yeah, and to I mean, yeah, that was
a scary time and he was just like that sucks,
like and another time was like with another another guy
was like the same thing where it's like, oh my gosh,
like all of these guys are telling me like, you know,
are just in my dms and are blah blah blah blah.
(23:41):
And it's because the guy that I was dating at
the time wasn't very like, you know, affectionate with their
words or affectionate period. It was just kind of like
I felt like I wasn't being like desired or wanted
but by these other people. So I would be like, man,
these other people are saying that your girlfriend's hot and
(24:01):
you're not doing anything like in your chilling.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I mean, those are really funny ways to get it
never works. Well. That wouldn't work on me either, because
if some guy was like, oh, these guys are trying
to say what's up to me, I'd be like, then
ghos kadato, go who is this guy? It doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
It always backfires. You know what works breaking up with them?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
That works? You know what has worked for me? Is
being like can you come over? And then if they
say no, I get mad. Just being straight up. But
the other one too, the last one that I was
found it was very common, is leveraging sympathy like I
can't do that. I'm sick. Oh my god, Like you know,
being like playing the victim in a lot of ways
(24:44):
can be a really good way. I have seen, oh
my god, in relationships where like, well my last boyfriend
used to do this, and so now I just you know,
I don't really like that. And then you'd be like, Okay,
I don't want to be anything like the last boyfriend,
so I'm going to do this and I'm gonna be
an ap Ples student. And you're like yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I know people who are like, well, it's not you
know you you're married and you have kids, and you
have this and that, and I don't because it's like, well,
you're not. You don't have anything any other thing to
like hinder you. You're just like manipulating me into having
(25:25):
sympathy for you so that I don't expect more of you,
because you want to keep the bar so low so
I don't ask you for anything. Maybe you want to
ask for money, you want to ask for other things.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
You can have sympathy for people, and I think that
I can certainly like relate to people and go like,
I know what it's I know what it's like to
uh be a single mom with two kids because I
have two crazy.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Dogs, single mom who works too hard, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I get it. But there's also just things where I'm like,
at one point to you go like handle it, because
that's your reality and you have to kind of figure
it out.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Like, yes, yeah there was something yesterday. I was talking
to someone and they're like, yeah, but you know they're
they're go they're a grown ass woman. They're grown they're
in their fucking thirties. To stop having sympathy for them.
We all have access to therapy, we all have access
to buy now you should handle your shit.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah. Well, the thing is that I do feel like
when it comes to patterns that people do, like I
don't know that some people know that they are using
manipulation tactics, do you know what I mean? Like, I
don't know that people understand that like being a people pleaser,
being a people pleaser, being somebody that uses flattery to
(26:43):
get what you want, you know, Like I, for example,
one of the things that I always say when I
resolve conflict is I like to kind of like say
back to the person what I think it is that
they are saying to me. So what I hear you
say saying is you feel like I when I didn't
(27:03):
do this, you felt like I'm not taking you seriously
and I'm not taking you like I'm not holding you
in a safe place or or you know, I'm not,
I'm not. What's the way I'm looking for like I'm
not I'm not. I don't know like I'm not I'm
not like holding you. I'm just gonna say like I'm
not holding you like in a safe place. I'm not,
(27:24):
I'm not seeing you. And so what I like to
do is to go like, I see you, I understand
what you're saying, and saying that this is where I'm
having trouble understanding this part, in this part, in this part.
So for me, I like to do that because I
like to feel like I want to defuse the situation,
because I don't want to be like, well, I think this.
I'm using it as a way to go like, I
(27:44):
want you to know that I see you. I want
you to know that I'm trying, and I want you
to know that I'm I'm wanting to resolve this conflict,
which sounds great, But am I do The question is
is that am I doing that because I don't like tension,
because I don't like because I don't like a conflict
in that way, and I'm trying to diffuse it. So
(28:05):
like it goes back to what are your intentions when
you are manipulating a situation, Because essentially, when I'm manipulating
conflict in that way or when I'm resolving conflict, it
is a smaller form of manipulation, which I think is
good because what's the point of yelling at each other
When I can say I see you. I go down
my list of things that I do anyway, right like
(28:28):
with with my family and stuff like that. We have
a lot of stuff going on right now. I try
to go, these are the things that I think you're
winning at. These are the things that I think you're
killing it at. Like you're you're killing it, but like,
this is one thing that I have a little question about.
This is one thing that I'm I'm wondering about, And
so it goes back to your intent If I wanted
(28:50):
it to do that because I want to be like,
I want to be the one that they all like,
and I want to come off as being like mother
treesa which I fucking hate by the way that people
my mom called me mother Trees, and I have friends
that call me mother Teresa too, and I'm like, I'm
not that, you know, but if I can. But one
of the things that I think people talk about in
(29:13):
terms of what is a good form of manipulation is
that it's encouragement and support, like a parent might ease.
This is a sysm that we read like a parent
might use gentle persuasion to encourage a child to a
child to adopt healthy habits or pursue their interests, like, Wow,
you're a really good artist. You should become you should
(29:34):
look into becoming an artist. Like that's manipulation, do you
(29:54):
know what I mean? Like why do you want them
to become an artist? Is your intention that they do
something that you you used to do? Is it your
attention that you're like wanting them to kind of like
grow up to be in the creative field? Like what
is like your your purpose? And then the other one
is complict resolution Like this says mediators and Counselors often
(30:14):
use techniques that involve subtly guiding individuals toward towards mutual
understanding and resolution. So it's like, oh, yeah, that's exactly
like professionals do it all day long. Like you want
to go into like a therapist to talk about what's
happening with you and your husband of twenty five years
who suddenly won't sleep, whatever, won't do things with you
(30:35):
or whatever. The therapist will use techniques to make it
so that they are manipulating the situation to bring you
both to the table, which is fascinating to me.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Well, well I saw you disappear and I was like,
how do I'm going to stop talking? So she comes back?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I no, I was here. I was just like, what today?
Eat something today? Am I manipulating my stomach by eating?
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:09):
It's very interesting. I like that. I feel like there
are good ways to manipulate there. I think manipulation is inevitable.
I think we're constantly being manipulated by society and capitalism
and it's just all around us all the time. But
I think we get to it's kind of like with
(31:32):
great power comes great responsibility, Right, We're all responsible for
each other and how we operate and how we show
up and how we acknowledge people, and some people straight
up manipulate to get things that they want. I've totally
been manipulated by like somebody who was like who would
(31:55):
literally like lower her voice and be like, Maita, how
do I get a branded deal? Or how do I
get blah blah blah blah, or how do I do this? Maita?
I can't figure this out?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Can you?
Speaker 1 (32:08):
And I'd be like, okay, yeah, no, yeah, let me
help you, like using that sweet voice for me, calling
me Mayita is like my little like nickname that like
only my loved ones used to call me, you know,
like that definitely, And then and then it's like later
on you hear they're talking about you. They don't give
(32:29):
a fuck about you. You're like I thought that I was,
but oh, you only want me when I okay, got
I gotta get and when I don't benefit, when you
don't benefit from me, Suddenly I'm not okay, got it,
got it, okay, gotta get got got it?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
And I know exactly what you're talking about. But yeah, for.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Sure, we've all been manipulated by that person.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Just like put a little bow on it too. When
you think about the way that you manipulate people, because
we all do it, think about your intention and and
hold yourself accountable for those things, right, Like what your intention?
If you're just like, look, I'm just trying to make
peace and manipulate the situation, that's okay. Be transparent like
you tend good. It's as good manipulation tends to be
open and honest, Like, just be honest, like I'm just
(33:11):
trying to diffuse the situation. Like I had one partner
that was like, every time I talk to you, when
something happens you, I feel like you fuck with my brain.
Like I feel like you're fucking with my brain. And
I'm like, well, I kind of am because I'm wanting
to understand you and I want you to hold yourself
accountable for the things that you're doing. So I'm asking
you questions to see if you can come to that
conclusion yourself rather than me pointing the finger and being
(33:34):
like you're an asshole. And the other also, and the
other thing too, is that you have to respect people's
autonomy in terms of how they want to move right.
So earlier example was like, oh, you don't want to
go to the park and I'm like, now, I'm okay, Like,
oh okay, Well, I respect your decision not going. There
will be other people there. The invite is still open.
(33:56):
But I respect your decision. Whatever it is that you
want to do, and I still love you. You can
tell people what it is that you want. I would
love your company. I would love for you to come
with me. These are my actual needs, These are my
actual wants from you. But I respect your decision to
not do what I want to do. And maybe next
time you asked me to take you and your little
(34:17):
stinky friends to them all, I'll have to reconsider, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And nobody is a saint. Nobody is Mother Teresa at all.
Everyone has their little dirty moments like.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah, you know I watch porn all the time, Like
I'm not mother Teresa. Mother Teresa doesn't watch porn.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
And welcome to the astrology portion of the podcast. You
wrote down which signs are manipulating assholes?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
That says as Schule's Oh oh as sureless are less
who are the most manipulated? Manipulative science use that into I.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Don't remember, I think you're manipulating me. I was gonna
say I think that aries are blatant, like you know,
when they're manipulating, they have no like, uh, chill about it.
Like I think they're very like for the park thing,
(35:27):
they'd be like you never go out, you never do anything,
you never blah blah blah blah, and that kind of
makes the other person cower and be like, oh, that's
already an insecurity of mine. Yeah, I guess I'll go okay,
like guilt tripping them, but using like that's where that
manipulation gets very like icky sticky, is like you only
want me to go with you, so that because a
(35:49):
guy is there, Yeah, like because you want like somebody
there and not just me. You don't even give a
fuck about what I'm doing or what I want to do,
Like I I feel like aries april aries can do
that sometimes, but also they forget about it. They forget
and they don't even know what they're doing it.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
I feel like aries I tend to be very controlling.
And this is not a read on you, but I
think that like aries that I have seen, like they
like control and sometimes they'll use the manipulation to control
others around them, and when others don't do or fall
into the place that they would like them to fall into.
They get very upset and they burn it all down.
(36:32):
They burn it all down, and it's like, you know,
one of the things that I'm like, you have to
let I had somebody in my life that's told me
about somebody in their life that wasn't aries, that was
trying to control them a lot, and that when they
started to defend themselves or kind of go their own
way the areas in their life was kind of like, well,
fuck it, we're not I don't want to be friendsic anymore.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Then you know, Yeah, I think fire signs sometimes the
lowest vibrating fire sign, the dark shadow of the night
like kind of signs can get there. The fire signs
can be I think not only I think every single
sign can be manipulative, of course, but I think something
(37:16):
about the fire signs where they'll be in They have
a different interest sometimes and it's self serving. But you
know the other side of it is like, I know
you would enjoy this, and I want to bring you
out to do this. Please just trust me and let's go.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Why can't you say that though exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Exactly period, I.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Feel like virgos in my opinion that I have seen
uh Tauruses and capricorns. The Earth signs are also like
very manipulative signs, but I feel like Earth signs are
a little bit more like passive aggressive in my like you.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Don't even know what's happening.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, I just feel like Earth science are a little
bit more like no, it's fine, like it's cool, Like
I just was just trying to hang with you, but
it's okay another time, like don't worry, you know what
I mean? Like, or I feel like Earth science will
be like I mean, it's the place where everyone is
going and everyone's going to be in heptatoe passions, but yeah, whatever,
(38:23):
you know what I mean. Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
I try to think, like I think Pisces and cancers
unfortunately can be some of the most manipulating because of
their passive aggressiveness and I think sometimes the lowest vibration
of it, they can use their victimhood as a tool
(38:47):
as a weapon.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
See. I feel like with my Pisce's friends, I don't
experience that as much. I experienced that that in dating
of Pisces, but I don't experience that in my friendships
with Pisces, because I find Pisces be extremely self sufficient
and yes.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
The lowest vibrating, the lowest vibrating. I have dated a
Pisces that has who would literally be like, oh, well, like,
would you would try to guilt trip me into dating them?
And I'm like, that is the nastiest, grossest thing ever.
I would never, ever, ever like. They'd be like, I
(39:27):
would be like, okay, well I don't you know, I
don't think that we're good together. I don't I don't
want to be with you whatever, Okay, well take care,
I guess yeah, all right, well so yes, And then
a month later they text me, hey, a, Maya, I
just want to see how you're doing. Don't answer, well,
I guess that's it. Then are you sure? What about
(39:51):
my silence made you think that I wanted you to
text me?
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Oh my god, I know. I meet every X meet
with all my cancer exes. I feel like they kind
of like made me get into their relationships with them
because their love was just so delicious. And then I
was like, yeah, well I don't know, and they're like,
well then I'll see you never then and then they're
like walking away, and I'm like, wait, that was what?
(40:21):
You know?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
What I do feel like is I think virgos can
be manipulated the most. The nice, nice ones that I've
noticed that are like they they're so in their heads
yeah that I feel like sometimes they think like, oh yeah,
(40:43):
well I'm ready a piece of shit. So yeah, for sure,
I need to like do whatever they want. And that's
where and libras. I have one of my cousins is
like a virgo libri cusp and I have to tell her,
tell me when you don't want to do something, don't
just do something because I want to do it. Don't
do don't like say yes or say tell me what
(41:06):
you really want, tell me how you really feel, and
I will still love you.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely like easy to manipulate for sure,
I would say, because I always want to see both sides,
and I think levers want to see both sides too,
so they're like, oh yeah, I could see that. That's
why I'm like, don't talk to me too much. I
need to go check with I need to check with
like my royal court, and I need to see what
the court.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
That's where I feel the most protective is because I'm like,
leave them alone.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Yeah, we're like, huh, leave them alone, Okay, but who
is the number one manipulative sign? If you have to
go down the.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Who's I'm not educated enough for that.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
I would say that the number one manipulator in the
entire zodiac sign. I don't know. I kind of want
to I kind of want to say, like I kind
of want to say, I don't want to say it.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Okay, Well, this is this is why I want to clarify.
Is that, like you, we're talking about the lowest vibrating
If if you've been listening to this podcast a long time,
you know my definition of low vibration high vibration. Okay,
So then low the lowest of the lowest of the
low ist like oh the people who you're like, man,
(42:32):
fuck Pisces, and it's because of all of these bad things,
because they're they have no accountability, they have no whatever.
Like the lowest of the low. We know we all
know a person of every single sign of the lowest
of the low.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Okay, So let's see lowest of the low, lowest vibration.
At the same time, let's say the sign that we
think is manipulator.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Okay, I don't want to do it, scared, well, I too,
one dours Oh Okay, yeah, well, I would say I
would say the Earth signs. I would say the Earth
signs taken, the Earth signs taken, because y'all are smart.
(43:18):
You're smart. And sometimes my all of my lights are
not on. I got one blinking light and it's on
her last little bolt, and you know, I'm going to
use that energy to like go do something else, not manipulate.
You know, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Virgos are wild, like I see low vibration burgos and
I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
I dated someone who was like, like, oh my god.
The way he would talk about his sister was just
so horrible and like just about her her intelligence, and
he had like edit a paper something of hers and
I was like, damn, that's how you speak about your family, bro.
Like and then he'll be nice to her the next day,
you know, And I'm like, Okay, hey, have you not
(44:00):
been real with me? I don't know what's real and
what's not.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Sounds like my exploy friend. And that concludes the zodiac section. Maya,
how do you plead.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Manipulation is it can be used for good and bad.
We all know we all can wield power, and we
have so many tools and we have choices, and those
choices always have an effect and a cause and consequences.
(44:33):
So what type of manipulation do you want to put
into the world today, Like manipulate yourself into I manipulated
myself into walking today. I said, I can play my
video game, but I have to be walking on my
walking pad. Yeah, and it was really hard to like
run on my video game and then walk on my
walking pad. I almost felt like a couple times. But like,
(44:55):
use the manipulation for good absolutely.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Depletely ditto, like I very rarely, I'm like, yep, but
like ditto exactly. Like My only wish is that if
you become aware of how you're manipulating a situation, that
you hold yourself accountable, that you asked, that you ask,
that you ask yourself what your intentions are, and then
you just make decisions that are rooted in the greater
good of you, but mostly the people around you. And
(45:23):
so I hope that you use your powers for good,
and I hope that you love yourself, and I hope
that you love the people around you. Maya where canting
people find you on social media.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
You can find me at my in the moment, at
a ya in the moment anyway, were you scroll?
Speaker 2 (45:38):
What about you? You can find me at the Curly
v Show on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Thank you so much for listening to The Super Secret
Besty Club. Make sure to hit us up on our
social media to let us know what you want to
listen to on another episode. And that's it. We thinking
of eut the Club podcast, and we just manipulated you
this whole time. Everything you heard was not true. It
was fake. You just got just kidding.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael
Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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