July 24, 2024 • 34 mins
Our hosts Curly and Maya dive into the murky waters of exclusivity in romantic relationships. Join them as they hilariously dissect the art of DTR (Defining the Relationship) and whether or not you should really be sharing your Netflix password.
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right here we are video video prayer.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We manifested this.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Well woa whoa you can freaking see us now?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yeah, and you better like what you see.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You better like what you're seeing. You better like this
video wherever this is that? And you better comment Wow,
they're so painty. I like them and lot they look
good and really love a positive comments.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I paid a lot for the.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Space and I got my gums cut that one time.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I didn't pay anything.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I had my first my first note shop. I had
my nose shop as eighteen years old. That's how it
all started.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Well, when I was eight years old, I had my
hernia removed, so I had an Audi and now I
haven't any So.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
My name is.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the Super Secret
Club podcast, A super secret club where we talked about
super secret things.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men
and of course our favorite secrets get in here.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
So today we are talking about something that is I mean,
if you've seen Love Island, I am a Love Island
USA UK Australia. Like die Hard fan, Well, now Love
Island USA is really starting to pick up a lot
of taste because it took six seasons for it to
get popular. The UK was already popular, but on this
(01:39):
show they talk a lot about like being exclusive, and
on the show, being exclusive means that you're closed off
if anyone else comes into the villa, right, then you're
not gonna talk to them. You're not gonna pull them
for a chat. You're just gonna say, now crosedof I'm exclusive. Right,
You're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
But you're exclusive.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You're exclusive, you're not dating anyone else.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yes, So that's what we're gonna be talking about today,
Like what is exclusivity?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, because you know, before you have the conversation of
like being boyfriend girlfriend them friends, you have to have
that conversation of are.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Are you dating and are you dating someone else?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah? Yeah, Like and I usually, you know, I put
myself a bus I usually date more than one person
at a time when I'm dating somebody, like because for me,
dating is like I don't uh, I'm just I'm just
hanging out. It's not doesn't mean so much to me.
Like I'm just hanging out. I'm feeling out the vibe. Like,
let's just see what happens. And usually the person that
(02:40):
I vibe with the most, I'm like I everybody else
kind of gets filtered out. Like I think that's how
a lot of people do it, right, Like.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I need a verbal I am not dating anyone else,
but you get there.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
But you get there. So then when you filter everybody
out and you get to the point where you're not.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Filtering anyone out, I can't date multiple people do it.
I won't do it. Why because my brain can't handle it.
Like I had to just daydream about one person per
night all throughout the day.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Well that's what makes it kind of special that if
you have like three burger patties on the grill and
you're eyeing one burger patty and you're like, that's the one.
That's the one I'm gonna throw the cheese.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
On, and no, I just want one juicy.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Like maybe it's like one of those like where they
put the cheese inside, they stuffed the cheese inside, and
then it's like, what is it called juicy Lucy?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I just wanted juicy Lucy and only one.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We had a really mean principal nun in high school
named Sister Lucy. Oh and we used to call her
a sister Juicy Lucy.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Then she knows exactly what I'm Talkingtory.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
They can take a little joke like that too. I
feel like for me, that conversation of exclusivity is a
little bit more casual, like we were talking about this.
For me, it's like I don't think about it in
a way that I go, Wow, set the scene in
the lights, get some candles, put some some shot day
in the background, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Hey, look like yeah, tell me like as if you're you're.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
How I would do it or how I think okay,
because I feel like the way that people make it
seem is that it should be this. It should be
the I really like you, and I think this is
going somewhere, and I'd like to figure.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Out what I told you yesterday?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Is that what you say? And I feel like, you know,
we should see it versus me if I'm dating somebody,
I just kind of keep going like we hang out
and I'm like hey.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
By the way, like and then when you get there, I.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Just what I usually have done is I go, I
just want to know that I'm not seeing anybody else
right now, and I'm just seeing you. See I don't
really ask for it. I tell them what I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
But that was my issue before, was like I would
I think because I think I kind of knew that they.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Were like I was very anxious.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm like I used to be avoidant and then anxious,
and this person was like anxious and then avoidant, and
I would like I felt them pulling away. So that's
why I wanted to be like we what are we?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
What are we doing? What are we? What are we doing?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Well I deserve, well I deserve for someone to say
that they want me to be their girlfriend. Like it's
it's like I feel like I backed him into a
corner and there was no way to have a conversation
and I felt like I was being very intense and aggressive,
and really it was just my insecurity, my anxiety and
(05:35):
like the lack of just feeling secure in that situationship
because it had been like close to four months. I
had met like his parents, I had met all this
Like it just felt like we're already in it, We're
already doing it, like we just need the labels.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Wrong with the label I wonder though, I think that
for me, if somebody were to go, hey, what are
we versus, hey, I'm not seeing people.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Well, okay, here's the thing is that I had that
conversation like I was like, are you dating anyone else?
And he was like no. I'm like, do you want
to date anyone else? He's like no, I'm like I'm
not dating anyone else and I don't want it. So
we already had that right, But then it's like then
it was like after are we like gonna be?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh? So you? But then that's different because you're asking
for a boyfriend girlfriend title. It's not that necessarily exclusivity conversation.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
So the reason why I brought this up was because
of Love Island, but also because I was talking to
my cousin.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I was telling my.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Cousin like, you deserve for someone to want to be
with you, and because I was asking her, I'm like
because she was calling this guy her boyfriend, And I.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Was like, oh, are you guys exclusive? You guys?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Did you guys have that talk? And she was like no,
Like how do you know that he's not dating anyone?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Ssh?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
And she was like I don't, but I don't think
that he is. I'm like no, no, no, no no.
Maybe it was my anxiety, like but I was just like,
you have to have that conversation. She was like, how
do I have that conversation? I was like, well, I
was thinking, you say from your heart's face, like I'm
really enjoying our time together.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Like I really like you.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I see this, you know, going somewhere further and and
like that's my intention, Like how.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Do you feel about that?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Like how do you feel about you know, what's your
But then I'm like, I don't want to put the
ball on his court either.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, yeah, well I'm just thinking about how like I
would react to somebody saying that to me, Like my
dad always says that because I'm always like Dad, like
I don't understand why gay dudes want to get fucked
up and drunk and they're forty years old and that's
all they want to do. They want to, you know,
run the world naked and do keep doing their things?
Like why is it so hard for them to settle down?
My Dad's like a lot of times it's the women
that kind of have to make us get our shit together.
(07:42):
There's two guys in here. Is that true? It is
that women are like kind of they both nodded, yeah,
like I feel like it is a lot of times
like the woman being like, hey, y'all, what is there? Yeah, like,
what's going on? What's happening? Yeah, So I don't necessarily
think it's like a bad thing, but I'm thinking like
for me, like as a guy, like hearing that, what
what I think? And I think I just like that
(08:03):
would make me kind of a little scared, right because
I would think like, oh, yeah, sounds like it doesn't
It doesn't sound to me like, oh that's hang. I
just want to I want to get to know you
a little bit, like, hey, let's hay im get familiar
a little bit more. It sounds like, are you ready
for the rest of your life?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah? Are you ready for the rest of your life
to be dedicated and just love me and only me
for the rest of our lives until the day that
we die?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Like what is about that?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah? What's so wrong about that?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
So wrong about that? Just like, love me and only
me forever? Pick me, choose me.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Love me. I wonder if guys just have like a
fear of like commitment, Like I wonder if there's just.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Some wrong guys, Are you all afraid of commitment? They're married?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Oh yeah, they're married.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
The children and the since two thousand and six, like
they're good, they're good.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Well, it's I feel like with the wrong with the
right person, you can't say anything wrong. They're going to
be like, oh my god, of course, like yeah, I
was actually going to say the same thing whatever, but
because this was the complete wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Guy, yeah, yeah, yeah it was.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
He was like, I just can't give you that, and
that like has been etched and burned into my brain
hearing those words over and over again. I'm like, I
just can't give you that. I just can't give you that.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I'm like, yeah, but I also feel like you're right.
I think that it's about timing, it's about frequency, and
the right person will feel like, oh yeah, I thought
we were doing that already, you know, like exactly. I
did have one partner who he kind of like I
was seeing multiple people when I met him, and he
was like, just so you know, I'm not seeing anybody
(09:41):
and I'm really focused on you and I just want
to see where this goes. And what that did kind
of made me think like, oh, I want to mirror
that energy, like I don't want him to. I don't
want to do that, and I stopped dating the other
guys that I was seeing.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
And what was the timeline, like like when, like how
long have you guys been talking?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
That one was kind of weird because I come to
find out later on he's just a love bomber, so
so I would say like two weeks. Yeah, But I
think just the casualness of it. I think the casualness
of having that conversation and just being like, I like you.
That's it, you can like me back. And he also
(10:24):
also by the way, he gave me the space to
be like, you don't have to stum saying other people,
I just want you to know what I'm doing. And
I really liked that a lot, Like I was like, oh, no,
that's cool, Like I actually want to mirror that, Like
why not We're both in our mid thirties, why not
commit to something like that? But it didn't feel as
like scary, whereas other men have been like, Hey, I
(10:45):
really like you. What are we What's going to happen?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
You've never asked before?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
No, I do what I say. No, not really.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
When I say no, I do what I say.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I do what I do what I just said.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Like I just go like I.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm hanging with I'm not really seeing anybody right now,
and it's usually true, like I usually like it. I
don't waste my time, I think.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
So, do you think that exclusivity conversation should be a
no go?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I just look, I feel like hab it, But I
just feel like, oh, calm everybody, calm down.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I mean, I think it.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Comes out of like anxiety. I think it's like the
anxiety attachment part where it's like I have to know
if this is on the same page or where we're going,
what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I think it's because.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
You if you have to, as somebody said, like if
you're wondering if he likes you or not he doesn't,
because you would know if he would let you know,
you know, the other like if I want the other
person to know that I like them, that I'm into them,
I would leave no nothing for them to think that
I don't you know. So I think it's like something
(12:08):
like that of like clarification of like well because then
out of that conversation.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't know, it just it just seems like.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I just feel like for me, I think that and
this could be wrong, right, Like I'm not in a
committed relationship and my longest relationship was three years, right,
and I get very like so boring, like like I
like my relationship to feel like recess, like I my
work and everything like and I know that's not true.
I know that's not always the case. Like relationships require
work and they require a lot of different things. But
(12:36):
at least in the very beginning, I wanted to feel like, oh,
I'm excited to see my boyfriend. Oh we're gonna get
snacks and we're gonna see a movie or whatever, like, well,
you know this guy that I'm whoever the guy that
I'm seeing, this poor boyfriend potential, right. I don't want
it to be like the so what are we super?
Early on, I wanted to stay really light.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
So how many months?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I wouldn't even say mare. I would say like a month,
maybe like one month in I would be like, hey,
do you want to be exclusive? Like I'm not, I
don't want to see anybody. I really like what we're
doing in Yeah, I would do it after a month,
But it doesn't matter to me because if he said no,
I'd be like, whatever you're like.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
So that's the thing, is what happens. If he says no,
do you stay friends? Do you break up with him?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Do you block.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I feel like if he said no, I would be
kind of like, oh, we're just not on the same
frequency then, because what if you can't see what's in front?
And I have a thing about that, Like you have
your thing about My thing is like if you can't look.
I feel like most people like you going to and
I like when you go to the mall, when you
walk into twenty one whatever. So you're walking in sit
(13:43):
you see a sweater, you know, you like it, you
get it, you try it on, you walk out, you
think it. That's it. Like I want my man to
think about me in that same way, right, like, Oh,
I like you, I fuck with you.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I want you to steal that sweater else.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
I want you to be like this.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I want them to chase you down.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Yeah, like you ever like you buy something cute and
you're sitting in your car and you're driving back home
when you're picturing yourself in that sweater. I was so
good in that sweater that like whatever color for me
is so good. That's what I want these guys to
feel when they think about me, like, oh, I'm so excited, right,
And if you're not there, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
So do you stay friends?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Though, I just don't take it. I don't take it personally.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
We can say friends, you stay friends, but I'm not
going to.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Take it personally because I have my thing where I'm like,
if you can't see me, then don't see me, like
I want you to see me, like and you know, I.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Don't see me.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Remember I had a whole lot of boyfriend who for
years did not like me at all, and then suddenly
remember he did he didn't like me, and then suddenly,
all of a sudden he was all about me, and
I was like the best thing that could happen to him.
And I was like why now why now?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Why me?
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yeah? Why? And it kind of and it ruined the
whole relationship because I could never forgive him over it.
Like I was like, was it because I lost a
little bit away? Was it because I started to make
a little bit more money? Like what was it? Why? Now?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
You know in my past, the very unhealed version of
me like wanted to stay friends with them because I'm like, yeah,
we could totally stay friends. And yeah, in that ruin me,
not for me at that time in the way that
because I was still attached and I was like I
(15:25):
had hope that one day he would because we were friends,
like maybe he just needs to see me as a friend,
and so I would not create space. I would like
jump in the middle of the space and be like
a friend. And then I would get mad at him
that we weren't like that he wasn't acting like a friend,
and then he would say sorry, and and then like
because I was just hoping for him to wake up
(15:45):
one day and be like, what the heck like of course,
it just was a friends to lovers situation, like, and
that messed me up for years, And so.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Now I feel like I would not want to be
friends with them. I think I would just want to
be like, you know, I can't. I can't do that
because of the way my mind is, Like.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
I just there's no wrong way to do it, to
be honest, Like, if you can't be friends, that's fine,
and if you can that's fine too. But like with
the guy that I told you like with him right,
like he didn't like me, and then I was like,
that's cool. We could just be friends. And I knew
that every time we would hang out, I was gonna
look fucking sexy, I was gonna smell fucking good. I
already knew that what I had to offer was good
and juicy anyways, and I'm like, he's gonna see it
(16:28):
and then he's gonna want it, and I'm not gonna
want it, and that's exactly what happened. Yeah, So I
feel like my little scorpio energy comes down around like me,
like you don't want me now, but I know you're
gonna want me later. So I get a little like
my shadow self where I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Cool, what's your venus again, Virgo virgo?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, but no, I just I think the thing is
is like you can't take it personally, like you cannot
take anybody not wanting you, and it's harder it's practiced right,
like you can't take somebody uh not being in tune
the moment personally it has nothing to do with you.
A lot of times, I literally the other day was
hooking up with some guy, tall, beautiful Latin man, hairy chest,
(17:03):
deep voice, like so sexy. Both of us stop dicks,
like we just weren't like into it, like.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And sometimes sometimes like that, And.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Then it hit me, I was like, there's we can
both be great men, but we just don't have the
sexual chemistry it's just not there. Can that grow, I
don't think. So I fell asleep and farted the whole night.
I think I like a mumigated that point. He was
about the next morning and was like, oh, my dog
has to go to boarding school, so I have to
like that's what I said. But then again it's la
(17:38):
so I'm like, sure that.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Makes sense boarding school for like Winchcraft and wizardry.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
But he was like, I gotta go, and I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, totally,
I can get out of here. But I don't know
what came over me that night. I just remember I
was gassye and not even like the like the cute
little like Tutor and boot it, but like the.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
There's a little little like gucka flick, don't mind whatever.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
You should love me for all of me, not just
my beautiful looks.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
So in my twenties, like I went through that whole
thing where I stay friends, I would stay friends with
a lot of these people who like didn't want to
like yeah, did meet with me or whatever like whenever,
it's fine, but like I wish that I if I
could go back in time, I would like tell her
like no, stop, like focus on yourself, and I feel
(18:28):
like now I would have a different way to heal,
Like how would you heal if you did take it
a little personally if it did sting a little bit. Yeah,
Like for those who like it's easier said than done,
you know, like it it It sucks when you get
attached to somebody and you are doing like the boyfriend
and girlfriend stuff and you are kind of like going
(18:49):
through you know, you're hooking up to at the same time,
and you're like getting physical and intimate, and then you're
meeting family and friends and then it's all of a sudden,
it's like, oh, well, actually they don't.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
See a few yeah, and you.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Just have to like, all of a sudden, like they're
a stranger, just some money that I used to know.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Like the same thing that I tell
everybody with heartbreak or when it comes to like neglect
or rejection in any sort of way, it's just use
that energy to pour back into yourself always, right, like.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Show them, like show them that they that they like,
don't be like you're going to show them, I'm going
to show you, like not that energy, but like invest
in yourself, invest in your spirit and your body, and
your clothes and your skincare like whatever that means in
your spirituality.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
The more that you glow, the more that they'll notice.
And I feel like like I'll And here's the other
thing too. By the way, we always say rejection is
God's protection. Right. Let me tell you there's some guys
that I wanted to date so badly and I was
sad when it didn't go there and they friends on me,
and then I'm like, oh, yikes, thank god that didn't work.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
It will be revealed later for sure.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Oh my good. I know.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
There's so many things that I'm like, way no, because
I think the biggest thing for me when I was
like dating in my twenties and in like that era
when I was just completely I would take every single
thing personal, from friend fights to family disputes and especially love,
and I feel like it was an end. Plus I
(20:20):
was still like working really really hard on my career.
We were like you know, at Federal leg we were
like really crossing into all these different lanes. And it's
crazy that I felt like I had such confidence on camera,
but then I had such low self esteem when it
came to love, and these guys were like had admitted
(20:40):
that they were intimidated by my world, and then I
was like upset that like my world was influencing these guys,
and I just wish that I could just be like
a normal person with Now I'm like, bitch, what you
wish that you could dull your shine so that these
guys would feel more comfortable being around you? Those like
hell no, like it, I like really wish I could,
(21:05):
like this sounds very bad, but I wish I could
shake her and just slap her a little bit and
be like wake up, wick up, you know, like I
wish I could just be like, no, girl, it is
not it's I mean, there's a lot of things that
I really really have.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Worked on myself.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
But you know, if somebody doesn't want to be with
you because they're like intimidated by like what you're doing,
like that's not a me problem. Like you need to
fix that within yourself, So go get a freaking job
or something.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I don't know, like like what.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
For what?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Well, welcome to the astrology portion of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Okay, so in this.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Section, we are going to analyze who which one of
the signs wants to be exclusive and which one doesn't care,
and then we're gonna talk aout which ones would be
good at exclusivity and which ones would freak out, Like
who's the avoidant of who.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Was the avoidant of?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Virgos?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Virgos?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Absolutely, it takes you, guys.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It takes you, guys, like five business days to answer
one question, to answer one question, and then it's not
(22:42):
even fully answered. And then I think it's like a
like defense or distraction technique for like, I don't know,
it's like there's a clear delay and emotional process.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I definite respect, we're definitely thinking about We think about everything, right, So, like, yes,
potential partners for me, I think about it in a
lot of different ways. Do I have the spark? Is
the romance there? And da da da, But also like
is this a good decision for my life? Like I
saw somewhere saying that, like in your relationship, and this
is probably super terrible and we're bad that they're saying
(23:18):
that your relationship is kind of like a business. Right,
And so the person that comes into your life, the
person that comes into your life, should you guys should
be building a better life for one another. It shouldn't
be like they shouldn't be like they should be adding
something new that you couldn't do it is the way
that I think about it. So I'm like, yeah, I
have a really cool world. What's your world like, Like,
(23:39):
let's go see what's up like, So I do have
a lot of things to think about. That's where I
am at personally, which I might regret when I get
a little older. But I certainly I think I take
a long time because I'm trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
It's like it's like dial up.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
It's like I like to think about it as I'm not.
We're not impulsive.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I'm impulsive.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I'm like polar opposite. I feel like aries love. I
don't know if they would love exclusivity, but they would
be like for sure, I've never tried it before, but
I'll try it. I don't know what it means, but yeah,
for sure. And then when they're in it, they're like,
oh no, I feel.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Like all fire signs like sag leo aries. I think
it's actually harder to get you guys in it, but
once you're in it, there's like a lot of passion.
Once I'm in it, there's a lot of passion. My
grandma was a leo and she would beat people up
for her man. She would go out there and like
stock pitches in the neck for her husband, you know,
a virgo. I'd be like, well, who did who hurd
(24:45):
who first?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I don't know, Just go beat them up.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Microphone, see my wee. Also this to go in like
the fucking video.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well, it's some much more freak.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's much Is this or is this not on brand
for me?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
It's on brand for me.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
It's certainly. I'm just not gonna touch the thing. I'm
just gonna I'll just like, I'll come to you. Who
else is a I.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Feel like Libra's love exclusivity.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Look, we know who loves exclusivity. Pisces water signs. What
are you, Joey? That's why That's why Joe has been
with their partners in two thousand and six. Wow, because
that's what they like. That's their jam. Wow.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
What's what's your partner's sign?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
An air sign? That's why you like her? She's fine, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
I feel like I feel like Geminis are a little
harder to get exclusive. I feel like they I don't
know about Gemini women, but I feel like Gemini men.
Oh my god, It's like you could and Sagittarius men.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
See, I feel like Geminis are not hard. They actually
love love. They're also Gemini men, but you can't get them.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Yeah you Gemini men.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
No no, no no, They're like you say one little thing.
They're like, I never I don't even know who you are.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
They're like gone already, Yeah they're gone. They're like, that
wasn't me, that was air Signs like Aquarius men are
like avoidant for sure. They'd be like tu tou lou
Aious men are.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Like why do we need to say it? Like we
already are.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, you're so sweet. Meanwhile, they're flirting with everybody up
and down six Leo's Leo's I feel like signs. Yeah,
I don't know. Look, my grandma had three husbands. She
really loved being in love. And my other grandma stayed
with her gambling addicted husband till the day she passed,
and she she loved love. She's very passionate.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Scorpios.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Scorpios, I feel like, definitely love love. They would like
they do, but they do.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I feel like they don't want to act like it.
I feel like they don't want to like appear like Yeah,
I feel like their dream is to be exclusive and
tied down to like one person, but I feel like
they don't want to like state that.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
I actually feel like my scorpio placements are the reason
why I'm single, to be honest, because when I go
on a really good date, I'm very like Gadinoso, I'm
very and I'm also a I'm not a secure attachment style,
so I'm very like I don't care, like go, I
don't care if you text me. I mean, it bothers me,
but I'm like, I'll just reflect the energy back and
(27:47):
it's fine and I keep living my life. But when
I'm dating, like I go on dates, I'm very like,
I'll rub your arm, I'll hug and like, I'll hug you,
i'll kiss you, I'll cuddle you right away. Like I
like that, And I find that a lot of guys
are like, wow, you're like really in love with me
already and I just met you, and I'm like, I'm
really not. I just like I am very okay with
(28:08):
affection and I'm like that's fine, but it's my score.
But I think they feel intense. They feel intensity to me.
I think I think of like edgarrelin Poe.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I think of like Adam's family.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, me too, and they love love like oh go man,
But it.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Has to be in their own world and their own
language on like top of the hills or hens.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
What about other earth signs Virgos, Taurus is keptcor Tauruses, Oh,
my god, Taurus. When a Tourus is in love, you
could beat them with a stick and they'll still come
crawling back. Well, wait, what's your wife's site leo? Oh leo,
double leo? That's right, two leo's in a house that's fine,
and a Taurus and a Gemini I mean and an aquarius. Yeah,
(28:51):
our household is two tauruses, my sister and my mom
an aquarus and a virgo my poor dad.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
I mean, my dad's a Leo. My mom is Sagittarius.
I'm an aries.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
My brother's Leo and me and my brother are double
fire signs.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
So that's fun.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
It's it's loud for sure.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
What about cancers cancers love love?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Yeah, cancers for sure. Oh capricorns without capricorns. Capricorns, I
feel like, are more of a business decision. They have
to really assess the risk of it, like how is
this going to make me?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Look?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
Are you going to be okay with Like, I feel
like I could use some Capricorn energy with my dating
life of like, you know, keep it pushing.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I feel like Capricorns aren't afraid of commitment because they're
really good at kind of like going for stuff that
they want, like even jobs, Like they're very I think
all Earth signs are kind of like, no, this is
what I want, I'm going to go for it. But
most Capricorns in my life have always been in committed
relationships that I've known. You know, did you just silently
go on?
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I'm trying not to.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I just like your notion shells flare a little bit.
You're season three.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
I told you you literally said you could beat tauruses
with about.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
How I'm dragging Taurus this season three. You heard it
here first America. I think I.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Love corn and I love Capricorns, and I love caprice son.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Capri Do you say or capri son? Both capri son?
What's the real way to say that? Cap what?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
What?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
No? Because I always say.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
It wrong, So I don't know what the real way
I say capri son.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I think I say capri son. Is that wrong?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
It's caprice son? Anyway?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
That concludes the astrology portion of the podcast maya.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
How do you plead?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Listen and listen closely, get.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
In here, come a little closer.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I feel like I'm not I'm very confused about my
stance on exclusivity. I feel like it's something that has
to happen naturally, right, Like you said, you will never
say the wrongly. You will never mess anything up for
the right person, like you will never like what's meant
for you is it won't miss you.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
So if you really truly feel like.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Having that conversation not out of anxiety or insecurity.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Like for sure, go ahead and have it.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
But if it is out of anxiety, I mean it's hard,
it's hard to get out of there. Like, I don't
think that's the conversation you should be having. I think
it should be like my needs are not being meant.
But then that's not your boyfriend, so like he's not.
I don't know, it's confusing. I feel like this is
something I have to talk about in therapy. But I think,
(31:41):
like you said, like not taking it personal is like
the biggest thing. I don't think I would stay friends
with them.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You. I feel like, look, if you want to have
if you want to play with your food a little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
You always play with your food every It's always like
the little devil on my shoulders.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Sometimes when I'm like, should I text him? Why not?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Do it? Who cares? Because who cares? Look? If I
think the older I get, the more that I realize,
the more life that I've experienced, more things that I see,
is that it's never that serious until it is. It's
never that serious until you're lying in your death. Betty,
You're taking your last breath and that's it. Shoot your shot,
be messy, do it, your text your ex, ask the
guy that you like if he wants to be your.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Your ex right now, and you're get your phone out
and say hey, thinking about you?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah? I mean, look, if you want to play with fire,
play a fire, like what's life about? If not to
just like stir some shit up? Right? But I think
that if you want to ask somebody if you want
to be exclusive, you should feel okay with it and
just be prepared for the answer and whatever the answer is.
If it's good, great, you got yourself a new person
to be exclusive with. And if not, then fuck it.
Tell them like whatever, thank you for being honest with me.
That's really dope. If you I'm so happy that you're
(32:48):
honest with me, and then go get yourself a cute
little outfit. Call up your girlies, go out and make
him suffer. Make him miss you. Kim absence makes the
heart girl, So just keep leaving on the space.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
And distance is so it like, allow him to miss you.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast Curly.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
How the How can I Find you? On social media?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I feel like the microphones just like getting I'm gonna
be like under the table. You can find me on
social media at the Curly v Show, on Instagram and
TikTok Maya can people find you?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, m
A y A in the Moment, anywhere where you scroll
and hit us up on our social media.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
If you want to let us know what you want
to listen.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
To another episode of the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Do y'all want to be exclusive with us?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I thing leend us know? Thanks.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with I Heart
Radio Miko Tura podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
All right here we are video video prayer.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We manifested this.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Well woa whoa you can freaking see us now?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yeah, and you better like what you see.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You better like what you're seeing. You better like this
video wherever this is that? And you better comment Wow,
they're so painty. I like them and lot they look
good and really love a positive comments.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I paid a lot for the.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Space and I got my gums cut that one time.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I didn't pay anything.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I had my first my first note shop. I had
my nose shop as eighteen years old. That's how it
all started.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Well, when I was eight years old, I had my
hernia removed, so I had an Audi and now I
haven't any So.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
My name is.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the Super Secret
Club podcast, A super secret club where we talked about
super secret things.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men
and of course our favorite secrets get in here.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
So today we are talking about something that is I mean,
if you've seen Love Island, I am a Love Island
USA UK Australia. Like die Hard fan, Well, now Love
Island USA is really starting to pick up a lot
of taste because it took six seasons for it to
get popular. The UK was already popular, but on this
(01:39):
show they talk a lot about like being exclusive, and
on the show, being exclusive means that you're closed off
if anyone else comes into the villa, right, then you're
not gonna talk to them. You're not gonna pull them
for a chat. You're just gonna say, now crosedof I'm exclusive. Right,
You're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
But you're exclusive.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You're exclusive, you're not dating anyone else.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yes, So that's what we're gonna be talking about today,
Like what is exclusivity?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, because you know, before you have the conversation of
like being boyfriend girlfriend them friends, you have to have
that conversation of are.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Are you dating and are you dating someone else?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah? Yeah, Like and I usually, you know, I put
myself a bus I usually date more than one person
at a time when I'm dating somebody, like because for me,
dating is like I don't uh, I'm just I'm just
hanging out. It's not doesn't mean so much to me.
Like I'm just hanging out. I'm feeling out the vibe. Like,
let's just see what happens. And usually the person that
(02:40):
I vibe with the most, I'm like I everybody else
kind of gets filtered out. Like I think that's how
a lot of people do it, right, Like.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I need a verbal I am not dating anyone else,
but you get there.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
But you get there. So then when you filter everybody
out and you get to the point where you're not.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Filtering anyone out, I can't date multiple people do it.
I won't do it. Why because my brain can't handle it.
Like I had to just daydream about one person per
night all throughout the day.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Well that's what makes it kind of special that if
you have like three burger patties on the grill and
you're eyeing one burger patty and you're like, that's the one.
That's the one I'm gonna throw the cheese.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
On, and no, I just want one juicy.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Like maybe it's like one of those like where they
put the cheese inside, they stuffed the cheese inside, and
then it's like, what is it called juicy Lucy?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I just wanted juicy Lucy and only one.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We had a really mean principal nun in high school
named Sister Lucy. Oh and we used to call her
a sister Juicy Lucy.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Then she knows exactly what I'm Talkingtory.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
They can take a little joke like that too. I
feel like for me, that conversation of exclusivity is a
little bit more casual, like we were talking about this.
For me, it's like I don't think about it in
a way that I go, Wow, set the scene in
the lights, get some candles, put some some shot day
in the background, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Hey, look like yeah, tell me like as if you're you're.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
How I would do it or how I think okay,
because I feel like the way that people make it
seem is that it should be this. It should be
the I really like you, and I think this is
going somewhere, and I'd like to figure.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Out what I told you yesterday?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Is that what you say? And I feel like, you know,
we should see it versus me if I'm dating somebody,
I just kind of keep going like we hang out
and I'm like hey.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
By the way, like and then when you get there, I.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Just what I usually have done is I go, I
just want to know that I'm not seeing anybody else
right now, and I'm just seeing you. See I don't
really ask for it. I tell them what I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
But that was my issue before, was like I would
I think because I think I kind of knew that they.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Were like I was very anxious.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm like I used to be avoidant and then anxious,
and this person was like anxious and then avoidant, and
I would like I felt them pulling away. So that's
why I wanted to be like we what are we?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
What are we doing? What are we? What are we doing?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Well I deserve, well I deserve for someone to say
that they want me to be their girlfriend. Like it's
it's like I feel like I backed him into a
corner and there was no way to have a conversation
and I felt like I was being very intense and aggressive,
and really it was just my insecurity, my anxiety and
(05:35):
like the lack of just feeling secure in that situationship
because it had been like close to four months. I
had met like his parents, I had met all this
Like it just felt like we're already in it, We're
already doing it, like we just need the labels.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Wrong with the label I wonder though, I think that
for me, if somebody were to go, hey, what are
we versus, hey, I'm not seeing people.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Well, okay, here's the thing is that I had that
conversation like I was like, are you dating anyone else?
And he was like no. I'm like, do you want
to date anyone else? He's like no, I'm like I'm
not dating anyone else and I don't want it. So
we already had that right, But then it's like then
it was like after are we like gonna be?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh? So you? But then that's different because you're asking
for a boyfriend girlfriend title. It's not that necessarily exclusivity conversation.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
So the reason why I brought this up was because
of Love Island, but also because I was talking to
my cousin.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I was telling my.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Cousin like, you deserve for someone to want to be
with you, and because I was asking her, I'm like
because she was calling this guy her boyfriend, And I.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Was like, oh, are you guys exclusive? You guys?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Did you guys have that talk? And she was like no,
Like how do you know that he's not dating anyone?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Ssh?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
And she was like I don't, but I don't think
that he is. I'm like no, no, no, no no.
Maybe it was my anxiety, like but I was just like,
you have to have that conversation. She was like, how
do I have that conversation? I was like, well, I
was thinking, you say from your heart's face, like I'm
really enjoying our time together.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Like I really like you.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
I see this, you know, going somewhere further and and
like that's my intention, Like how.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Do you feel about that?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Like how do you feel about you know, what's your
But then I'm like, I don't want to put the
ball on his court either.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, yeah, well I'm just thinking about how like I
would react to somebody saying that to me, Like my
dad always says that because I'm always like Dad, like
I don't understand why gay dudes want to get fucked
up and drunk and they're forty years old and that's
all they want to do. They want to, you know,
run the world naked and do keep doing their things?
Like why is it so hard for them to settle down?
My Dad's like a lot of times it's the women
that kind of have to make us get our shit together.
(07:42):
There's two guys in here. Is that true? It is
that women are like kind of they both nodded, yeah,
like I feel like it is a lot of times
like the woman being like, hey, y'all, what is there? Yeah, like,
what's going on? What's happening? Yeah, So I don't necessarily
think it's like a bad thing, but I'm thinking like
for me, like as a guy, like hearing that, what
what I think? And I think I just like that
(08:03):
would make me kind of a little scared, right because
I would think like, oh, yeah, sounds like it doesn't
It doesn't sound to me like, oh that's hang. I
just want to I want to get to know you
a little bit, like, hey, let's hay im get familiar
a little bit more. It sounds like, are you ready
for the rest of your life?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah? Are you ready for the rest of your life
to be dedicated and just love me and only me
for the rest of our lives until the day that
we die?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Like what is about that?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah? What's so wrong about that?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
So wrong about that? Just like, love me and only
me forever? Pick me, choose me.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Love me. I wonder if guys just have like a
fear of like commitment, Like I wonder if there's just.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Some wrong guys, Are you all afraid of commitment? They're married?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Oh yeah, they're married.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
The children and the since two thousand and six, like
they're good, they're good.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Well, it's I feel like with the wrong with the
right person, you can't say anything wrong. They're going to
be like, oh my god, of course, like yeah, I
was actually going to say the same thing whatever, but
because this was the complete wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Guy, yeah, yeah, yeah it was.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
He was like, I just can't give you that, and
that like has been etched and burned into my brain
hearing those words over and over again. I'm like, I
just can't give you that. I just can't give you that.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I'm like, yeah, but I also feel like you're right.
I think that it's about timing, it's about frequency, and
the right person will feel like, oh yeah, I thought
we were doing that already, you know, like exactly. I
did have one partner who he kind of like I
was seeing multiple people when I met him, and he
was like, just so you know, I'm not seeing anybody
(09:41):
and I'm really focused on you and I just want
to see where this goes. And what that did kind
of made me think like, oh, I want to mirror
that energy, like I don't want him to. I don't
want to do that, and I stopped dating the other
guys that I was seeing.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
And what was the timeline, like like when, like how
long have you guys been talking?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
That one was kind of weird because I come to
find out later on he's just a love bomber, so
so I would say like two weeks. Yeah, But I
think just the casualness of it. I think the casualness
of having that conversation and just being like, I like you.
That's it, you can like me back. And he also
(10:24):
also by the way, he gave me the space to
be like, you don't have to stum saying other people,
I just want you to know what I'm doing. And
I really liked that a lot, Like I was like, oh, no,
that's cool, Like I actually want to mirror that, Like
why not We're both in our mid thirties, why not
commit to something like that? But it didn't feel as
like scary, whereas other men have been like, Hey, I
(10:45):
really like you. What are we What's going to happen?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
You've never asked before?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
No, I do what I say. No, not really.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
When I say no, I do what I say.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I do what I do what I just said.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Like I just go like I.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm hanging with I'm not really seeing anybody right now,
and it's usually true, like I usually like it. I
don't waste my time, I think.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
So, do you think that exclusivity conversation should be a
no go?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I just look, I feel like hab it, But I
just feel like, oh, calm everybody, calm down.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I mean, I think it.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Comes out of like anxiety. I think it's like the
anxiety attachment part where it's like I have to know
if this is on the same page or where we're going,
what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I think it's because.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
You if you have to, as somebody said, like if
you're wondering if he likes you or not he doesn't,
because you would know if he would let you know,
you know, the other like if I want the other
person to know that I like them, that I'm into them,
I would leave no nothing for them to think that
I don't you know. So I think it's like something
(12:08):
like that of like clarification of like well because then
out of that conversation.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't know, it just it just seems like.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I just feel like for me, I think that and
this could be wrong, right, Like I'm not in a
committed relationship and my longest relationship was three years, right,
and I get very like so boring, like like I
like my relationship to feel like recess, like I my
work and everything like and I know that's not true.
I know that's not always the case. Like relationships require
work and they require a lot of different things. But
(12:36):
at least in the very beginning, I wanted to feel like, oh,
I'm excited to see my boyfriend. Oh we're gonna get
snacks and we're gonna see a movie or whatever, like, well,
you know this guy that I'm whoever the guy that
I'm seeing, this poor boyfriend potential, right. I don't want
it to be like the so what are we super?
Early on, I wanted to stay really light.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
So how many months?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I wouldn't even say mare. I would say like a month,
maybe like one month in I would be like, hey,
do you want to be exclusive? Like I'm not, I
don't want to see anybody. I really like what we're
doing in Yeah, I would do it after a month,
But it doesn't matter to me because if he said no,
I'd be like, whatever you're like.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
So that's the thing, is what happens. If he says no,
do you stay friends? Do you break up with him?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Do you block.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I feel like if he said no, I would be
kind of like, oh, we're just not on the same
frequency then, because what if you can't see what's in front?
And I have a thing about that, Like you have
your thing about My thing is like if you can't look.
I feel like most people like you going to and
I like when you go to the mall, when you
walk into twenty one whatever. So you're walking in sit
(13:43):
you see a sweater, you know, you like it, you
get it, you try it on, you walk out, you
think it. That's it. Like I want my man to
think about me in that same way, right, like, Oh,
I like you, I fuck with you.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I want you to steal that sweater else.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
I want you to be like this.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I want them to chase you down.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Yeah, like you ever like you buy something cute and
you're sitting in your car and you're driving back home
when you're picturing yourself in that sweater. I was so
good in that sweater that like whatever color for me
is so good. That's what I want these guys to
feel when they think about me, like, oh, I'm so excited, right,
And if you're not there, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
So do you stay friends?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Though, I just don't take it. I don't take it personally.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
We can say friends, you stay friends, but I'm not
going to.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Take it personally because I have my thing where I'm like,
if you can't see me, then don't see me, like
I want you to see me, like and you know, I.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Don't see me.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Remember I had a whole lot of boyfriend who for
years did not like me at all, and then suddenly
remember he did he didn't like me, and then suddenly,
all of a sudden he was all about me, and
I was like the best thing that could happen to him.
And I was like why now why now?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Why me?
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yeah? Why? And it kind of and it ruined the
whole relationship because I could never forgive him over it.
Like I was like, was it because I lost a
little bit away? Was it because I started to make
a little bit more money? Like what was it? Why? Now?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
You know in my past, the very unhealed version of
me like wanted to stay friends with them because I'm like, yeah,
we could totally stay friends. And yeah, in that ruin me,
not for me at that time in the way that
because I was still attached and I was like I
(15:25):
had hope that one day he would because we were friends,
like maybe he just needs to see me as a friend,
and so I would not create space. I would like
jump in the middle of the space and be like
a friend. And then I would get mad at him
that we weren't like that he wasn't acting like a friend,
and then he would say sorry, and and then like
because I was just hoping for him to wake up
(15:45):
one day and be like, what the heck like of course,
it just was a friends to lovers situation, like, and
that messed me up for years, And so.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Now I feel like I would not want to be
friends with them. I think I would just want to
be like, you know, I can't. I can't do that
because of the way my mind is, Like.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
I just there's no wrong way to do it, to
be honest, Like, if you can't be friends, that's fine,
and if you can that's fine too. But like with
the guy that I told you like with him right,
like he didn't like me, and then I was like,
that's cool. We could just be friends. And I knew
that every time we would hang out, I was gonna
look fucking sexy, I was gonna smell fucking good. I
already knew that what I had to offer was good
and juicy anyways, and I'm like, he's gonna see it
(16:28):
and then he's gonna want it, and I'm not gonna
want it, and that's exactly what happened. Yeah, So I
feel like my little scorpio energy comes down around like me,
like you don't want me now, but I know you're
gonna want me later. So I get a little like
my shadow self where I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Cool, what's your venus again, Virgo virgo?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, but no, I just I think the thing is
is like you can't take it personally, like you cannot
take anybody not wanting you, and it's harder it's practiced right,
like you can't take somebody uh not being in tune
the moment personally it has nothing to do with you.
A lot of times, I literally the other day was
hooking up with some guy, tall, beautiful Latin man, hairy chest,
(17:03):
deep voice, like so sexy. Both of us stop dicks,
like we just weren't like into it, like.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And sometimes sometimes like that, And.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Then it hit me, I was like, there's we can
both be great men, but we just don't have the
sexual chemistry it's just not there. Can that grow, I
don't think. So I fell asleep and farted the whole night.
I think I like a mumigated that point. He was
about the next morning and was like, oh, my dog
has to go to boarding school, so I have to
like that's what I said. But then again it's la
(17:38):
so I'm like, sure that.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Makes sense boarding school for like Winchcraft and wizardry.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
But he was like, I gotta go, and I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, totally,
I can get out of here. But I don't know
what came over me that night. I just remember I
was gassye and not even like the like the cute
little like Tutor and boot it, but like the.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
There's a little little like gucka flick, don't mind whatever.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
You should love me for all of me, not just
my beautiful looks.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
So in my twenties, like I went through that whole
thing where I stay friends, I would stay friends with
a lot of these people who like didn't want to
like yeah, did meet with me or whatever like whenever,
it's fine, but like I wish that I if I
could go back in time, I would like tell her
like no, stop, like focus on yourself, and I feel
(18:28):
like now I would have a different way to heal,
Like how would you heal if you did take it
a little personally if it did sting a little bit. Yeah,
Like for those who like it's easier said than done,
you know, like it it It sucks when you get
attached to somebody and you are doing like the boyfriend
and girlfriend stuff and you are kind of like going
(18:49):
through you know, you're hooking up to at the same time,
and you're like getting physical and intimate, and then you're
meeting family and friends and then it's all of a sudden,
it's like, oh, well, actually they don't.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
See a few yeah, and you.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Just have to like, all of a sudden, like they're
a stranger, just some money that I used to know.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Like the same thing that I tell
everybody with heartbreak or when it comes to like neglect
or rejection in any sort of way, it's just use
that energy to pour back into yourself always, right, like.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Show them, like show them that they that they like,
don't be like you're going to show them, I'm going
to show you, like not that energy, but like invest
in yourself, invest in your spirit and your body, and
your clothes and your skincare like whatever that means in
your spirituality.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
The more that you glow, the more that they'll notice.
And I feel like like I'll And here's the other
thing too. By the way, we always say rejection is
God's protection. Right. Let me tell you there's some guys
that I wanted to date so badly and I was
sad when it didn't go there and they friends on me,
and then I'm like, oh, yikes, thank god that didn't work.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
It will be revealed later for sure.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Oh my good. I know.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
There's so many things that I'm like, way no, because
I think the biggest thing for me when I was
like dating in my twenties and in like that era
when I was just completely I would take every single
thing personal, from friend fights to family disputes and especially love,
and I feel like it was an end. Plus I
(20:20):
was still like working really really hard on my career.
We were like you know, at Federal leg we were
like really crossing into all these different lanes. And it's
crazy that I felt like I had such confidence on camera,
but then I had such low self esteem when it
came to love, and these guys were like had admitted
(20:40):
that they were intimidated by my world, and then I
was like upset that like my world was influencing these guys,
and I just wish that I could just be like
a normal person with Now I'm like, bitch, what you
wish that you could dull your shine so that these
guys would feel more comfortable being around you? Those like
hell no, like it, I like really wish I could,
(21:05):
like this sounds very bad, but I wish I could
shake her and just slap her a little bit and
be like wake up, wick up, you know, like I
wish I could just be like, no, girl, it is
not it's I mean, there's a lot of things that
I really really have.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Worked on myself.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
But you know, if somebody doesn't want to be with
you because they're like intimidated by like what you're doing,
like that's not a me problem. Like you need to
fix that within yourself, So go get a freaking job
or something.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I don't know, like like what.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
For what?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Well, welcome to the astrology portion of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Okay, so in this.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Section, we are going to analyze who which one of
the signs wants to be exclusive and which one doesn't care,
and then we're gonna talk aout which ones would be
good at exclusivity and which ones would freak out, Like
who's the avoidant of who.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Was the avoidant of?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Virgos?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Virgos?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Absolutely, it takes you, guys.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It takes you, guys, like five business days to answer
one question, to answer one question, and then it's not
(22:42):
even fully answered. And then I think it's like a
like defense or distraction technique for like, I don't know,
it's like there's a clear delay and emotional process.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I definite respect, we're definitely thinking about We think about everything, right, So, like, yes,
potential partners for me, I think about it in a
lot of different ways. Do I have the spark? Is
the romance there? And da da da, But also like
is this a good decision for my life? Like I
saw somewhere saying that, like in your relationship, and this
is probably super terrible and we're bad that they're saying
(23:18):
that your relationship is kind of like a business. Right,
And so the person that comes into your life, the
person that comes into your life, should you guys should
be building a better life for one another. It shouldn't
be like they shouldn't be like they should be adding
something new that you couldn't do it is the way
that I think about it. So I'm like, yeah, I
have a really cool world. What's your world like, Like,
(23:39):
let's go see what's up like, So I do have
a lot of things to think about. That's where I
am at personally, which I might regret when I get
a little older. But I certainly I think I take
a long time because I'm trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
It's like it's like dial up.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
It's like I like to think about it as I'm not.
We're not impulsive.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I'm impulsive.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I'm like polar opposite. I feel like aries love. I
don't know if they would love exclusivity, but they would
be like for sure, I've never tried it before, but
I'll try it. I don't know what it means, but yeah,
for sure. And then when they're in it, they're like,
oh no, I feel.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Like all fire signs like sag leo aries. I think
it's actually harder to get you guys in it, but
once you're in it, there's like a lot of passion.
Once I'm in it, there's a lot of passion. My
grandma was a leo and she would beat people up
for her man. She would go out there and like
stock pitches in the neck for her husband, you know,
a virgo. I'd be like, well, who did who hurd
(24:45):
who first?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I don't know, Just go beat them up.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Microphone, see my wee. Also this to go in like
the fucking video.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well, it's some much more freak.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's much Is this or is this not on brand
for me?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
It's on brand for me.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
It's certainly. I'm just not gonna touch the thing. I'm
just gonna I'll just like, I'll come to you. Who
else is a I.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Feel like Libra's love exclusivity.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Look, we know who loves exclusivity. Pisces water signs. What
are you, Joey? That's why That's why Joe has been
with their partners in two thousand and six. Wow, because
that's what they like. That's their jam. Wow.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
What's what's your partner's sign?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
An air sign? That's why you like her? She's fine, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
I feel like I feel like Geminis are a little
harder to get exclusive. I feel like they I don't
know about Gemini women, but I feel like Gemini men.
Oh my god, It's like you could and Sagittarius men.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
See, I feel like Geminis are not hard. They actually
love love. They're also Gemini men, but you can't get them.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Yeah you Gemini men.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
No no, no no, They're like you say one little thing.
They're like, I never I don't even know who you are.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
They're like gone already, Yeah they're gone. They're like, that
wasn't me, that was air Signs like Aquarius men are
like avoidant for sure. They'd be like tu tou lou
Aious men are.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Like why do we need to say it? Like we
already are.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, you're so sweet. Meanwhile, they're flirting with everybody up
and down six Leo's Leo's I feel like signs. Yeah,
I don't know. Look, my grandma had three husbands. She
really loved being in love. And my other grandma stayed
with her gambling addicted husband till the day she passed,
and she she loved love. She's very passionate.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Scorpios.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Scorpios, I feel like, definitely love love. They would like
they do, but they do.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I feel like they don't want to act like it.
I feel like they don't want to like appear like Yeah,
I feel like their dream is to be exclusive and
tied down to like one person, but I feel like
they don't want to like state that.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
I actually feel like my scorpio placements are the reason
why I'm single, to be honest, because when I go
on a really good date, I'm very like Gadinoso, I'm
very and I'm also a I'm not a secure attachment style,
so I'm very like I don't care, like go, I
don't care if you text me. I mean, it bothers me,
but I'm like, I'll just reflect the energy back and
(27:47):
it's fine and I keep living my life. But when
I'm dating, like I go on dates, I'm very like,
I'll rub your arm, I'll hug and like, I'll hug you,
i'll kiss you, I'll cuddle you right away. Like I
like that, And I find that a lot of guys
are like, wow, you're like really in love with me
already and I just met you, and I'm like, I'm
really not. I just like I am very okay with
(28:08):
affection and I'm like that's fine, but it's my score.
But I think they feel intense. They feel intensity to me.
I think I think of like edgarrelin Poe.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I think of like Adam's family.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, me too, and they love love like oh go man,
But it.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Has to be in their own world and their own
language on like top of the hills or hens.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
What about other earth signs Virgos, Taurus is keptcor Tauruses, Oh,
my god, Taurus. When a Tourus is in love, you
could beat them with a stick and they'll still come
crawling back. Well, wait, what's your wife's site leo? Oh leo,
double leo? That's right, two leo's in a house that's fine,
and a Taurus and a Gemini I mean and an aquarius. Yeah,
(28:51):
our household is two tauruses, my sister and my mom
an aquarus and a virgo my poor dad.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
I mean, my dad's a Leo. My mom is Sagittarius.
I'm an aries.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
My brother's Leo and me and my brother are double
fire signs.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
So that's fun.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
It's it's loud for sure.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
What about cancers cancers love love?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Yeah, cancers for sure. Oh capricorns without capricorns. Capricorns, I
feel like, are more of a business decision. They have
to really assess the risk of it, like how is
this going to make me?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Look?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
Are you going to be okay with Like, I feel
like I could use some Capricorn energy with my dating
life of like, you know, keep it pushing.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I feel like Capricorns aren't afraid of commitment because they're
really good at kind of like going for stuff that
they want, like even jobs, Like they're very I think
all Earth signs are kind of like, no, this is
what I want, I'm going to go for it. But
most Capricorns in my life have always been in committed
relationships that I've known. You know, did you just silently
go on?
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I'm trying not to.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I just like your notion shells flare a little bit.
You're season three.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
I told you you literally said you could beat tauruses
with about.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
How I'm dragging Taurus this season three. You heard it
here first America. I think I.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Love corn and I love Capricorns, and I love caprice son.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Capri Do you say or capri son? Both capri son?
What's the real way to say that? Cap what?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
What?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
No? Because I always say.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
It wrong, So I don't know what the real way
I say capri son.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I think I say capri son. Is that wrong?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
It's caprice son? Anyway?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
That concludes the astrology portion of the podcast maya.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
How do you plead?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Listen and listen closely, get.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
In here, come a little closer.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I feel like I'm not I'm very confused about my
stance on exclusivity. I feel like it's something that has
to happen naturally, right, Like you said, you will never
say the wrongly. You will never mess anything up for
the right person, like you will never like what's meant
for you is it won't miss you.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
So if you really truly feel like.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Having that conversation not out of anxiety or insecurity.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Like for sure, go ahead and have it.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
But if it is out of anxiety, I mean it's hard,
it's hard to get out of there. Like, I don't
think that's the conversation you should be having. I think
it should be like my needs are not being meant.
But then that's not your boyfriend, so like he's not.
I don't know, it's confusing. I feel like this is
something I have to talk about in therapy. But I think,
(31:41):
like you said, like not taking it personal is like
the biggest thing. I don't think I would stay friends
with them.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You. I feel like, look, if you want to have
if you want to play with your food a little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
You always play with your food every It's always like
the little devil on my shoulders.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Sometimes when I'm like, should I text him? Why not?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Do it? Who cares? Because who cares? Look? If I
think the older I get, the more that I realize,
the more life that I've experienced, more things that I see,
is that it's never that serious until it is. It's
never that serious until you're lying in your death. Betty,
You're taking your last breath and that's it. Shoot your shot,
be messy, do it, your text your ex, ask the
guy that you like if he wants to be your.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Your ex right now, and you're get your phone out
and say hey, thinking about you?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah? I mean, look, if you want to play with fire,
play a fire, like what's life about? If not to
just like stir some shit up? Right? But I think
that if you want to ask somebody if you want
to be exclusive, you should feel okay with it and
just be prepared for the answer and whatever the answer is.
If it's good, great, you got yourself a new person
to be exclusive with. And if not, then fuck it.
Tell them like whatever, thank you for being honest with me.
That's really dope. If you I'm so happy that you're
(32:48):
honest with me, and then go get yourself a cute
little outfit. Call up your girlies, go out and make
him suffer. Make him miss you. Kim absence makes the
heart girl, So just keep leaving on the space.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
And distance is so it like, allow him to miss you.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast Curly.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
How the How can I Find you? On social media?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I feel like the microphones just like getting I'm gonna
be like under the table. You can find me on
social media at the Curly v Show, on Instagram and
TikTok Maya can people find you?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, m
A y A in the Moment, anywhere where you scroll
and hit us up on our social media.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
If you want to let us know what you want
to listen.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
To another episode of the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Do y'all want to be exclusive with us?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I thing leend us know? Thanks.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with I Heart
Radio Miko Tura podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com