August 31, 2022 • 31 mins
So you agree, you think you're really pretty? Well, it's time to talk about pretty privilege. Is it real? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Oh my gosh, are we pretty? Let's discuss. Get in here!
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, can I get into this cool class? You know
you can't because you're not pretty? Yeah, but you in
the back, you're pretty. You can get and you put
all these people in line and come in for free.
Thank you so much, because like, here's a drink, take
it for you and your your friend. Sorry, but I
why because they're pretty? Are you saying that I'm not pretty?
(00:25):
Or um? Anyway? Get in here. My name is Curly
and I'm Maya and welcome to the Super Secret Best
Club podcast, a super secret club where we talked about
super secret things super secret more time. In each episode,
(00:46):
we'll talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men, and of course
our favorite secrets. Oh my god. So today we're gonna
be talking about one of my favorit topics. This this
is all about Curly. Well, this is one of my
favorite topics because I'm obsessed with the concept of beauty.
(01:09):
What is it? Beauties in the eye of the beholder?
What is pretty? People talking about this thing called pretty privilege.
People debating whether or not pretty privileged actually exists. And
there is like actual data that shows that pretty privilege
actually exists. So, according to Urban Dictionary, pretty privilege is
(01:32):
a person who has more opportunities and becomes more successful
in life because of how attractive they are. This we
have different stances on this because I get angry. We've
had like fights about this, the conversation. Yeah, I'm actually like,
I'm super fascinated by it because it is a real
(01:55):
phenomenon that I believe is absolutely true. I think that
you can see to the algorithms of your Instagram and
your TikTok. You can see it in how quickly something
will captivate your attention and by something I meet somebody
when you're scrolling through, what makes you stop and watch
the content for just a little bit longer versus how
(02:15):
you would watch anybody else. And a lot of times
it has to do with do you find them pretty?
Do you find them attractive? Because a lot of the
times I'm not. I mean, this isn't me shitting, but
I'll shoot a little bit when I see some of
these girlies on TikTok try to be funny. It's not funny.
They're just pretty. They're just pretty. I mean, look, you
(02:37):
can look at people on the on the Instagram, on
the internet, who have who have millions millions of followers,
who kind of look the part. To me, it's an
interesting thing because I actually think that the Internet works
and extremes, so even there you're extremely one thing or
actually when the other people will like be gravit, like
will gravitate towards you. Um for this conversation, you know,
(02:59):
we're just talking about in general, like both on the
Internet and in real life, like pretty privileged being a
real thing. Um. There was an article actually released by NPR,
the National Public Radio sounds official when you say when
you say their full name, the NPR, and they were
saying that like you know, around the world, Um, why
(03:19):
not there, but you know what I'm saying, around the world,
like plastic surgery, cosmic surgery is becoming so common. But
NPR was saying that in South Korea, one in three
women between the ages of nine have had plastic surgery.
And I forgot where else I've seen this article or
a video and I remember it was a credible source.
But they were talking about how there is an area
where people, um, their jobs depend on how attractive they are,
(03:44):
Like people will get surgery to kind of um move
up on the social ladder because people just don't want
to hire you if you look a certain type of
way tomato tomato tomato, um, so pretty privileged, Like my
definition is kind of like I mean, I've grown up with, um,
(04:07):
like being the best friend to some of the popular
girls who were naturally or just like really pretty. And
of course everything is subjective to our own perspective, like
what is my definition of pretty? And that could be
different than yours and somebody else's. And even these popular
girls that I grew up with could have felt like
an ugly duckling as well like I did, but traditionally
(04:31):
rooted in like um European standards, like you know, I
had extremely curly hair and I was thick at a
young age, and they were slender, um, straight hair, white, um,
you know, or just didn't have the same cultural background
(04:52):
as me. I'm Mexican, um. And they definitely like you know,
got ahead, They got more boyfriends, they picked like to
go up to the front of the class for like
special projects by the teacher. Like there was just something
about them that was like because they were, you know,
my definition of pretty at the time, Like I don't know,
(05:13):
they just got a lot of things that I didn't,
which is which you know, the last episode that we
were talking about when I like, shoot on UM, I
didn't ship on her, but like that girl that I
was talking about who I like kind of spiraled at
a um what's it coltum blinking, I spiraled at a
(05:34):
sleepover and was like, you're just so perfect. She was
part of the pretty privileged spectrum. Okay, So to me,
it's like, you know those types of popular girls, um,
and I'm just talking about like my experiences and like um.
In Hot Chick Rachel McAdams, which plays she plays Jessica Um.
(05:54):
In the beginning of the movie, you see her getting
free things because she's pretty and getting away with a
lot of things that to me very early two thousand's definition.
But that was happening to my friends and not me
at the time. Yeah, side where we know that hot
check is very problematic, but um, the thing too with
(06:15):
me is like, actually, my thing was very different because
I was always friends with all the girls, including like,
you know, girls that were considered the most beautiful, girls
that were considered average, and girls that were not considered
you know, by their peers to be the current standards
of what they thought were beautiful, who, by the way,
(06:35):
grew up to kill and slay the game Um. But
I feel like I never had any sort of tension
or animosity, but I would notice that, like I always
got treated differently, both because I was like the gig
guy with these girls, but like it just was like
I would see I would get treated differently, and then
I would see how the pretty popular girls would get
(06:57):
treated differently from the other girls in terms of like
how the boys were afraid of them, how the boys
were afraid to make them mad, things that they got
away with, things that like, Um, people just were naturally
just drawn to them because they were beautiful and popular. Um.
You know a lot of this conversation people talk about
is it rooted in European standards and colonization, um, And
(07:19):
it really is. Right, Like again you were talking about
like the coil of your hair, and if you talk
about um the word gino likeo like curly hair, which
is like uh more Mexican than it is a Central American.
There's data that says that, um, that's actually rooted in
anti blackness, right, So the it comes from the the
(07:41):
Mexican cast system where black folks were mixed with European
or if you had like a curly if you had
a coil in your hair was compared to the tail
of a coccino or a pig, and it was called belloccino. Um,
I believe, I believe that there's data hind that, and
if I'm wrong, then we can talk about it again.
(08:02):
But I'm pretty sure that I'm um, and so yes,
it's it goes far and wide. There is also um
the kind of other data that suggests that it is regional. Right, Like,
in certain areas of the world, women of size are
considered the most beautiful versus in other places, like right
now in the United States, women with curves are considered
(08:22):
more beautiful, but in other parts of the world, women
with less curves, women who are a little bit more
skinny or smaller, are considered the most beautiful. So it's
an interesting aspect to think about where is beauty and
what is pretty and what is in like the ie
of like the beholder, right. I will say, one thing
that's really fascinating for me right now is like, I'm
dating this beautiful man. He's six four, he's gorgeous, and
(08:46):
I will see him, we will go out and I
will literally see things happen to him that I have
never witnessed before. That I have never seen happen to
anybody else in my life. Where people will it will
either stop him, to compliment him, to be like whoa wow, right,
(09:07):
they will give him free drinks like they say do
they say boswingle? Yeah, they're like close, like they're just
like they love it. Yeah, huzza bazinga is like buzz lingo. Yeah.
Huza was like like a celebration. Yeah, they're celebrating your beauty.
(09:29):
You know, I've seen him. We went to like a
bar and the bartender was like, I'll hook you up
for drinks for us tonight, and I'm like when is that.
I've never seen that happen anywhere, you know, like, um,
we'll go into different places. He gets stopped. Even guy
met him and was like, whoa, you're like a model.
And I'm like, I have never no where have you
called me a model video I'll never not and damn
(09:51):
damn day in your life, you know. Um. So it's
like an interesting thing to just see how things work,
like what people will get for free, how they get treated,
how people believe you. Um. There's also sidebar. There's also
data that says that people who are beautiful who commit
crime get shorter sentences than people who are considered less
(10:14):
than attractive. Remember that the serial killer that everyone was
like fangirling after and he was like murdering women. What
is his name? Jeffrey something, Jeffrey Dahmer. No, I forgot
Zach get from played him in a movie and he
was good. He's cute. Zachefron is cute. Um, yeah, I
(10:37):
believe that. And it's also like it's based on perception definitely,
because I look back Ted Bundy, who's Jeffrey Dahmer? Another
serial killer? Another serial killer? See I'm not among the
crime serial killer girlies fandom. I'm just like it's too
(10:58):
it's like too much for me. I'm two cents to
it for that. I literally wear, like Maddy a whole
evil eye around my neck all the time because I'm
like protection production. It is all based on perception, because
(11:20):
I'm like I look back and I'm like, hey, like,
why did you give this person so much power because
they have straight hair or because they have X, Y
and Z, Like what makes you think that you were
less than because of all of those things? Like and
obviously that's like I think stuff that like you do
like inner child work on, which is what I'm doing
(11:41):
but it's just so interesting. But you were saying how
like it can go the opposite way for people who
have pretty privileged to write, like to be treated poorly
because they're considered attractive, Like they think you're dumb or something. Yeah,
so like I also find that like pretty privileged, by
the way, it can also be considered there's something that's
harmful for a lot of people. You know, people who
(12:03):
are seen as more attractive. For example, like the guy
that I'm dating, a lot of people will actually grab him,
they'll touch him. They feel like there's a lot of
um Like, there's a lot less respect in terms of
how he's objectified. And I think that that also becomes
dangerous for women fems who are considered attractive because people
think that just because they're beautiful, um that you know,
(12:26):
they want to be hit on all the time, they
want to be touched, they want to be kind of
like objectified, um or it just like kind of happens.
I also think that people can be mean, like in
the opposee setting or at school if somebody is really pretty.
I've also heard stories where people are like, um, oh,
I thought you were going to be a bit so
they were already mean to her, you know, like one
(12:48):
of my besties who is like incredibly gorgeous, and she's
been we've been best as we were very young in
our preteens. Um, somebody came up to her and told
and told her that they thought she was dumb because
she was pretty. And it created this kind of like, um,
what's the word like? It created this um like complex? Yes,
(13:10):
it created like a complex. Think, it created like a
complex in her where she felt like and the thing is,
this girl has been brilliant since day one. This girl
has never been done with day in her life. I've
known her for most of it. She's not done at all.
But it created like a complex in her where, you know,
she felt like the need that she had to prove
herself to other people. Um. And then I think on
the other side too, like you might accomplish something amazing
(13:34):
with your life and people will take away that accomplishment
from you and be like, um, oh it's only because
you're pretty, or maybe she slept her way to the
top versus like or this person could be really talented,
you know, with me saying in the beginning, like that
video wasn't funny and something because you're pretty kind of
take away take away from hard work, you know, so
(13:58):
it is something to consider in that. Um uh, how
are you treating people based off the way that they
look like? You might think like, oh, she must have
it so easy or he must have it so easy
because they're good looking, and it's honestly not always the case.
So pretty people are smart, is what you're saying. And
(14:20):
they deserve more, so give them more money exactly. So Okay,
there's this YouTube channel that I'm actually obsessed with and
they talk about really the science of beauty globally, and
he actually gets a lot of ship because people are
constantly telling him that it's what he talks about is
connected to racism, colonialism, and eugenics. Um. But he really
(14:42):
sticks his feet into the ground and he says that
this is based off of data across the world in
terms of what's considered attractive. So you'll hear things about
how like symmetry is considered more attractive. Like, um, right now,
the trend of what is beautiful is actually uh, saggerated
features like high cheekbones, jawlines, big lips, certain types of
(15:05):
eyes that are slanted a certain type of way. Um,
eyebrows that fit the face and basically like facial harmony
and how it all has to do with how people
perceive you and then in turn how you are treated
and how you move in the world. Um. They were
he was talking about this one story about this woman
(15:25):
who actually sued her place of employment because she was
saying that they were treating her poorly because of her beauty.
She was like, literally flat out, like in court documents,
was saying, it's because I'm pretty that I got fired. Um.
Turns out they interviewed a bunch of people and they
were like, actually, she's a narcissist and she was horrible
(15:45):
and she was me not because she was pretty. So
you're seeing pretty people are narcissists. But there's also just
a lot of different data as well that really says
the opposite. Um. I pulled up this thing really quick.
I don't know how crowd a bill of a source
this is, but it was just saying how, um, attractive
individuals tend to be more talented, kinder and more trustworthy
(16:08):
and more taligent. Um, oh, this is according to you,
this is what people think. People's biases. They believe that
they are more talented, kind, and more trustworthy and more challenging,
so they get away with like a lot more things. Um,
I have to chime in. I think what makes people
attractive sometimes it's not necessarily how they look, but how
(16:30):
they the energy they bring. And I will say talent
is attractive to me. Like when I meet someone who
is like really good at piano or like really good
at singing, I'm like, oh, yes, uh if I. But
if they're just pretty, I like, I'm not attracted to
(16:51):
like the traditionally like beautiful person Like yes, I think
they're beautiful, but I don't nothing in my body says
like wow you have abs or wow you have whatever,
like I want to kiss you, let's get married. Nothing
about like that at all like makes me think like
oh my god, it's it's all about the energy, you
(17:12):
know what I'm saying. So I do feel like sometimes
these pretty privileged people, I think what it is is
that they're not aware of like maybe sometimes they are
of how pretty they are. But in school, I remember
that it was always the girls who didn't care, who like,
you know, they wore what they wanted to wear, they
did their hair how they wanted, and it was that
(17:35):
sense of independence and identity and secureness and confidence that
was way more attractive to me than traditionally being beautiful,
you know what I'm saying. So I feel like that
was like another thing of it was like, are you
really like pretty privileged or is it my perspective and
perception of like how you are being carried across the
(17:58):
world or is it just the energy you're giving off
because you don't give a funk and I care too much. Yeah, well,
I do also think that just attraction and what is
considered beautiful just by looking at it or pretty by
looking at it are also different things, different things. You
can meet someone who is like traditionally attractive, but they
(18:19):
just you don't vibe with them, so you're like, uh,
not for me. Or you can meet somebody who's like
not traditionally attractive, but you vibe with them and you're like,
oh my god, and they smell really good. There's a
lot of factors that go into being attractive. And they
talk about this on that website too, on that YouTube channel,
because what I'm trying to get into is like we
have you you were saying these things about like the
(18:40):
life risk bands that we have, Like you know, when
you're going to respand to go into an event and
it's either like V I P or general or like
artists or something. And I feel like a lot of
people within pretty privilege have different privileges of like we
would always say these people are always on the list,
(19:00):
Like when we go to events, even though we could
email and say hey, like yes, I would like to
go to this event. Here's my name for the red carpet,
here's whatever. We go to the event, and our names
are never on the list. I mean sometimes they are,
and these other people are always their names aren't on
the list, but they are on the list. They're like,
oh yeah, come, not based on like popularity, just because
(19:22):
of their life wristband s A yeah. Well. One of
the things that we also wanted to touch upon too
is that there are a lot of different factors that
go into this right like where as of right now,
we're not this conversation not a focus on like the
true privileges of being light skinned or anything dealing with racism, colorism,
(19:44):
able is um anything to deal with like size, people
of size, bat phobia, those people who like randomly get
the things that you're like, what how did they get
a free drink? Or how did they get a free
meal just by being here? Like, and you know, I
do think I owe And yes, going back to the
wristbands we were talking, I have this theory that I
(20:05):
believe that everybody in life has a different wristband. Like, um,
some people can show up late to something and get in.
I show up two minutes later, I'm blocked. My seat
has been given away. I'm not even on the list,
and I look crazy because I'm probably wearing a giant
hat sitting out there in the cold by myself. Like
there are people who will go up to the door
(20:26):
like the IT club or an IT party, and they'll
be like, oh my god, right this way, come on in.
But me, I literally will have been waiting in that
line for an hour. But you're a spand is that
you're able to charm the room and become friends with
literal huge celebrities or just like notable people. Me, I don't.
(20:49):
I just don't have that. I don't have that kind
of like charm. I'm very like shy, but Curly just
has this like magical thing about him that he's just
able to Like people are so like Jojo. When we
met Jojo, not Jojo Siwa Joe, the iconic Jojo Um
get out, uh leave right now, fame vocalist. She we
(21:13):
met her at BuzzFeed and I am such a huge
mega fan of hers and Curly meets her and immediately
it's like magnets and she's like, oh my god, I
love your tattoos. Oh my god, yeah we should hang
out or oh my gobble, you guys like exchange numbers
and instagrams or something, and they didn't. Drew barrymore like,
(21:34):
just like all of your stuff right now. No, remember
that was a lie. I mean that was this morning
and it was a fake account. Oh my god, this
morning I woke up. I was like, oh, more like
all my stuff that it was. Um no, And I think,
and I yes, and I agree and everybody you know,
(21:55):
and I think that we all have different risk bands
that help us in different ways. But in turn is
of I don't know it because you're pretty. I think
it's pretty. I look, I don't think I'm pretty good,
thank you, But I Curly, wait before you say anything.
You're pretty and you have charm and you're funny. I
(22:17):
you're pretty and you have time and you're funny, and
but I don't get it the way that you get it.
I'm just messy, and I think I'm relatable that I'm messy.
I don't know what my rest band is. I think
your wristband off the top of my head is like
one of them is like, you will inevitably get what
(22:37):
you want. No, but I want this and you will
inevitably somehow get it. What. Yeah, I will say that
with what well even down to like, well, maybe this
is like I feel like we're getting into a real converence.
This is what it sounds like when we talk on
the pod. I feel like when you want something like
professionally or you're like, I'm not happy with that. I'm
(23:00):
okay with that, this is what I want to do. Instead,
you're really good with your boundaries, and so you kind
of inevitably people listen to you based off of because
they know your boundaries and they know that you tend
to be right with a lot of those things. Um
so I'm as smartest person in the world. That's what
you're saying basically. Um, but yeah, I think in terms
of just like the pretty thing too, like the pretty
privilege I do. I honestly, look here, I would love
(23:23):
some of that pretty, privileged, privileged. I would love it
a little bit. I would love to be in this
space and at a time where I'm getting free ship
where people are like letting me into places where people
are just like like clamoring and saying what's up? And like,
I want people to think that I'm done because I'm pretty,
(23:45):
not because i'm actually Yeah, I would like to I
would like to seem like I'm dumb. I would like
to know. I would like everyone to stop thinking I'm
so smart, Like, okay, we're not saying that we think
we're ugly. Like I think I'm pretty. I think I'm beautiful.
I love my body, like I understand that I have
(24:06):
those curves, Like I was at the beach the other
day and I get an unwanted attention from unwanted people
who are like just gross and disgusting. I don't want that.
I want the Lisa McGuire um Paolo treatment where he's
like Isabella and I'm like, what it is me Italian
(24:27):
pop star Isabella? Yes, I will sing with you at
the Colisseum. What your fake? What your lip sinking? And
you want me to sing in front of all these people?
I will, I will do it. Because I love you.
I want that and I deserve that. I know. I
(24:48):
was like, what are we talking about? Welcome to the
astrology portion of the podcast Curly. Which sign has the
(25:10):
most pp energy pretty privileged energy. I'm gonna say Scorpios
And I was gonna say scorpios too, Scorpios and virgos
like there's like this, Like for me, it's the fire signs.
The fires sense to me have the most pretty privileged
because they walk in and I'm like an in here.
You know, I wasn't gonna say it. I wasn't gonna
(25:31):
say it. That's why I'm like, stop everyone thinking I'm
so dumb. I mean, I mean pretty. I also think
libras are very beautiful because in astrology, they literally are
like the most beautiful sign. Like I forgot what it
is about. Yeah, they're like supposed to be like pretty. Um,
(25:53):
I've yet to see one. I'm just kidding. I always
think of Jazz. I see a lot of pretty Libra.
There's like, oh my god. Um. Virgos definitely, Leos are
hot just because it's in their dna. Um. Yeah, every
(26:15):
single sign can. I think every single sign can exude
pretty privilege. Um. But I think Aquarius have really good,
pretty privilege because Aquarius are just so charming and you're
like and they don't really care. Yeah, like you're kind
of cute and sexy. Aries for sure. I'm trying to
(26:36):
think of like all my crushes, Um, Pisces women, Pisces.
I feel like Pisces are like, yeah, you know, Pisces
are really cool. They're really Actually all my Pisces fans
are really good looking to Um. What about Gemini? I
think Gemini's yes, because like you said in episode, which
(27:01):
one are we getting today? And both are pretty Yeah
supermodels in the world? Is uh a Gemini? Um? But yeah,
I feel like overall, I think that if I had
to pick over all the zodiac signs, my top pic
would be Virgo. Actually, I take that back. Virgos have
(27:23):
to work very hard to look a certain type of way.
I take that back. I'm going to go ahead and
just say Scorpios and Leo's. Scorpios and Leo's would be
you're saying Aries, what happened to the Aries? I always say, Area,
what fuck you? You never ever loved me before a
(27:43):
day in your life. You're the biggest friend I have
ever come across. It takes a sip of my copy whatever,
Oh my God. Conclude our astrology section for this week, satisfying.
(28:06):
In conclusion, Carlitos the freaking heck? Am I pretty? You know? Yes?
You are? Am I pretty today? You are today? You're
a solid medium. Look. I think in the world there
(28:28):
are different types of privileges, different types of rispons that
get you into different parts of the world, whether that's
a job, a club, a man finances, um, married into
a rich family. I do believe that pretty privilege is
something that UM people have yet to kind of talk
about more openly. I think that this it's real. It's
also a dangerous topic because people truly cannot help the
(28:50):
way that they look. They cannot help the way that
they are treated. So I think that for me, at
the end of the day, just be aware of how
you're treating other is how you would like to be treated.
Such a boundaries babes, and just love on as many
people as you can. So you said that my wristband
is the fact that I'm good at setting boundaries. You know, dog,
(29:17):
we're breaking off. This is l I don't know, That's
why I was asking. You're like you said, boundaries really well,
and you get what I couldn't think of anything on
the spot. You know what, We're gonna end this because
(29:37):
my inclusion, my conclusion for this is like it's all
based on perception and perspective, like I've been saying for everything.
Everything is like the way we see people, like how
high on a pedestal we set them? And also it's
like what does it say about us? Like we're really
talking about what we're lacking when we give someone else
(29:59):
so much power our like we can observe how much
somebody is pretty, but not absorbed the fact that like
you're not, which is not a fact, like you are
like society all that. It's so bullshit like I don't
freaking care, Like who cares? Whatever? Dude, it's true. But
I will say this that, like if somebody comes up
to you and it's like, um, hey, what's up? Can
(30:21):
I borrow a dollar? And they were like your hype?
I think it would be more in clients and be like,
oh um, but give them a dollar. I don't want
to be with someone who asked me for a dollar.
How did I think of an example? Like, you know,
what would you do for somebody Downhills. So thank you
so much for listening everyone to another episode of The
(30:42):
Super Secret bestI Club Podcast. Um, Curly, how can we
find you on social media? You can find me on
social media at the currently v show, Vias and Velasquez
on Instagram and TikTok what about you. You can find
me at Maya in the Moment on all social media platforms.
You set us up on our social media to let
us know what you want to listen to on the
next episode of The Super Secret Best Thing Club Podcast.
(31:06):
And I guess I'm just solely good at setting boundaries,
Oh my god. And I guess I'm only good at
being friends with celebrities. Oh my God. Bye. Make sure
(31:32):
to hit that subscribe button to hear more episodes every
single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast is a
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favorite shows.
Hey, can I get into this cool class? You know
you can't because you're not pretty? Yeah, but you in
the back, you're pretty. You can get and you put
all these people in line and come in for free.
Thank you so much, because like, here's a drink, take
it for you and your your friend. Sorry, but I
why because they're pretty? Are you saying that I'm not pretty?
(00:25):
Or um? Anyway? Get in here. My name is Curly
and I'm Maya and welcome to the Super Secret Best
Club podcast, a super secret club where we talked about
super secret things super secret more time. In each episode,
(00:46):
we'll talk about love, friendships, heartbreaks, men, and of course
our favorite secrets. Oh my god. So today we're gonna
be talking about one of my favorit topics. This this
is all about Curly. Well, this is one of my
favorite topics because I'm obsessed with the concept of beauty.
(01:09):
What is it? Beauties in the eye of the beholder?
What is pretty? People talking about this thing called pretty privilege.
People debating whether or not pretty privileged actually exists. And
there is like actual data that shows that pretty privilege
actually exists. So, according to Urban Dictionary, pretty privilege is
(01:32):
a person who has more opportunities and becomes more successful
in life because of how attractive they are. This we
have different stances on this because I get angry. We've
had like fights about this, the conversation. Yeah, I'm actually like,
I'm super fascinated by it because it is a real
(01:55):
phenomenon that I believe is absolutely true. I think that
you can see to the algorithms of your Instagram and
your TikTok. You can see it in how quickly something
will captivate your attention and by something I meet somebody
when you're scrolling through, what makes you stop and watch
the content for just a little bit longer versus how
(02:15):
you would watch anybody else. And a lot of times
it has to do with do you find them pretty?
Do you find them attractive? Because a lot of the
times I'm not. I mean, this isn't me shitting, but
I'll shoot a little bit when I see some of
these girlies on TikTok try to be funny. It's not funny.
They're just pretty. They're just pretty. I mean, look, you
(02:37):
can look at people on the on the Instagram, on
the internet, who have who have millions millions of followers,
who kind of look the part. To me, it's an
interesting thing because I actually think that the Internet works
and extremes, so even there you're extremely one thing or
actually when the other people will like be gravit, like
will gravitate towards you. Um for this conversation, you know,
(02:59):
we're just talking about in general, like both on the
Internet and in real life, like pretty privileged being a
real thing. Um. There was an article actually released by NPR,
the National Public Radio sounds official when you say when
you say their full name, the NPR, and they were
saying that like you know, around the world, Um, why
(03:19):
not there, but you know what I'm saying, around the world,
like plastic surgery, cosmic surgery is becoming so common. But
NPR was saying that in South Korea, one in three
women between the ages of nine have had plastic surgery.
And I forgot where else I've seen this article or
a video and I remember it was a credible source.
But they were talking about how there is an area
where people, um, their jobs depend on how attractive they are,
(03:44):
Like people will get surgery to kind of um move
up on the social ladder because people just don't want
to hire you if you look a certain type of
way tomato tomato tomato, um, so pretty privileged, Like my
definition is kind of like I mean, I've grown up with, um,
(04:07):
like being the best friend to some of the popular
girls who were naturally or just like really pretty. And
of course everything is subjective to our own perspective, like
what is my definition of pretty? And that could be
different than yours and somebody else's. And even these popular
girls that I grew up with could have felt like
an ugly duckling as well like I did, but traditionally
(04:31):
rooted in like um European standards, like you know, I
had extremely curly hair and I was thick at a
young age, and they were slender, um, straight hair, white, um,
you know, or just didn't have the same cultural background
(04:52):
as me. I'm Mexican, um. And they definitely like you know,
got ahead, They got more boyfriends, they picked like to
go up to the front of the class for like
special projects by the teacher. Like there was just something
about them that was like because they were, you know,
my definition of pretty at the time, Like I don't know,
(05:13):
they just got a lot of things that I didn't,
which is which you know, the last episode that we
were talking about when I like, shoot on UM, I
didn't ship on her, but like that girl that I
was talking about who I like kind of spiraled at
a um what's it coltum blinking, I spiraled at a
(05:34):
sleepover and was like, you're just so perfect. She was
part of the pretty privileged spectrum. Okay, So to me,
it's like, you know those types of popular girls, um,
and I'm just talking about like my experiences and like um.
In Hot Chick Rachel McAdams, which plays she plays Jessica Um.
(05:54):
In the beginning of the movie, you see her getting
free things because she's pretty and getting away with a
lot of things that to me very early two thousand's definition.
But that was happening to my friends and not me
at the time. Yeah, side where we know that hot
check is very problematic, but um, the thing too with
(06:15):
me is like, actually, my thing was very different because
I was always friends with all the girls, including like,
you know, girls that were considered the most beautiful, girls
that were considered average, and girls that were not considered
you know, by their peers to be the current standards
of what they thought were beautiful, who, by the way,
(06:35):
grew up to kill and slay the game Um. But
I feel like I never had any sort of tension
or animosity, but I would notice that, like I always
got treated differently, both because I was like the gig
guy with these girls, but like it just was like
I would see I would get treated differently, and then
I would see how the pretty popular girls would get
(06:57):
treated differently from the other girls in terms of like
how the boys were afraid of them, how the boys
were afraid to make them mad, things that they got
away with, things that like, Um, people just were naturally
just drawn to them because they were beautiful and popular. Um.
You know a lot of this conversation people talk about
is it rooted in European standards and colonization, um, And
(07:19):
it really is. Right, Like again you were talking about
like the coil of your hair, and if you talk
about um the word gino likeo like curly hair, which
is like uh more Mexican than it is a Central American.
There's data that says that, um, that's actually rooted in
anti blackness, right, So the it comes from the the
(07:41):
Mexican cast system where black folks were mixed with European
or if you had like a curly if you had
a coil in your hair was compared to the tail
of a coccino or a pig, and it was called belloccino. Um,
I believe, I believe that there's data hind that, and
if I'm wrong, then we can talk about it again.
(08:02):
But I'm pretty sure that I'm um, and so yes,
it's it goes far and wide. There is also um
the kind of other data that suggests that it is regional. Right, Like,
in certain areas of the world, women of size are
considered the most beautiful versus in other places, like right
now in the United States, women with curves are considered
(08:22):
more beautiful, but in other parts of the world, women
with less curves, women who are a little bit more
skinny or smaller, are considered the most beautiful. So it's
an interesting aspect to think about where is beauty and
what is pretty and what is in like the ie
of like the beholder, right. I will say, one thing
that's really fascinating for me right now is like, I'm
dating this beautiful man. He's six four, he's gorgeous, and
(08:46):
I will see him, we will go out and I
will literally see things happen to him that I have
never witnessed before. That I have never seen happen to
anybody else in my life. Where people will it will
either stop him, to compliment him, to be like whoa wow, right,
(09:07):
they will give him free drinks like they say do
they say boswingle? Yeah, they're like close, like they're just
like they love it. Yeah, huzza bazinga is like buzz lingo. Yeah.
Huza was like like a celebration. Yeah, they're celebrating your beauty.
(09:29):
You know, I've seen him. We went to like a
bar and the bartender was like, I'll hook you up
for drinks for us tonight, and I'm like when is that.
I've never seen that happen anywhere, you know, like, um,
we'll go into different places. He gets stopped. Even guy
met him and was like, whoa, you're like a model.
And I'm like, I have never no where have you
called me a model video I'll never not and damn
(09:51):
damn day in your life, you know. Um. So it's
like an interesting thing to just see how things work,
like what people will get for free, how they get treated,
how people believe you. Um. There's also sidebar. There's also
data that says that people who are beautiful who commit
crime get shorter sentences than people who are considered less
(10:14):
than attractive. Remember that the serial killer that everyone was
like fangirling after and he was like murdering women. What
is his name? Jeffrey something, Jeffrey Dahmer. No, I forgot
Zach get from played him in a movie and he
was good. He's cute. Zachefron is cute. Um, yeah, I
(10:37):
believe that. And it's also like it's based on perception definitely,
because I look back Ted Bundy, who's Jeffrey Dahmer? Another
serial killer? Another serial killer? See I'm not among the
crime serial killer girlies fandom. I'm just like it's too
(10:58):
it's like too much for me. I'm two cents to
it for that. I literally wear, like Maddy a whole
evil eye around my neck all the time because I'm
like protection production. It is all based on perception, because
(11:20):
I'm like I look back and I'm like, hey, like,
why did you give this person so much power because
they have straight hair or because they have X, Y
and Z, Like what makes you think that you were
less than because of all of those things? Like and
obviously that's like I think stuff that like you do
like inner child work on, which is what I'm doing
(11:41):
but it's just so interesting. But you were saying how
like it can go the opposite way for people who
have pretty privileged to write, like to be treated poorly
because they're considered attractive, Like they think you're dumb or something. Yeah,
so like I also find that like pretty privileged, by
the way, it can also be considered there's something that's
harmful for a lot of people. You know, people who
(12:03):
are seen as more attractive. For example, like the guy
that I'm dating, a lot of people will actually grab him,
they'll touch him. They feel like there's a lot of
um Like, there's a lot less respect in terms of
how he's objectified. And I think that that also becomes
dangerous for women fems who are considered attractive because people
think that just because they're beautiful, um that you know,
(12:26):
they want to be hit on all the time, they
want to be touched, they want to be kind of
like objectified, um or it just like kind of happens.
I also think that people can be mean, like in
the opposee setting or at school if somebody is really pretty.
I've also heard stories where people are like, um, oh,
I thought you were going to be a bit so
they were already mean to her, you know, like one
(12:48):
of my besties who is like incredibly gorgeous, and she's
been we've been best as we were very young in
our preteens. Um, somebody came up to her and told
and told her that they thought she was dumb because
she was pretty. And it created this kind of like, um,
what's the word like? It created this um like complex? Yes,
(13:10):
it created like a complex. Think, it created like a
complex in her where she felt like and the thing is,
this girl has been brilliant since day one. This girl
has never been done with day in her life. I've
known her for most of it. She's not done at all.
But it created like a complex in her where, you know,
she felt like the need that she had to prove
herself to other people. Um. And then I think on
the other side too, like you might accomplish something amazing
(13:34):
with your life and people will take away that accomplishment
from you and be like, um, oh it's only because
you're pretty, or maybe she slept her way to the
top versus like or this person could be really talented,
you know, with me saying in the beginning, like that
video wasn't funny and something because you're pretty kind of
take away take away from hard work, you know, so
(13:58):
it is something to consider in that. Um uh, how
are you treating people based off the way that they
look like? You might think like, oh, she must have
it so easy or he must have it so easy
because they're good looking, and it's honestly not always the case.
So pretty people are smart, is what you're saying. And
(14:20):
they deserve more, so give them more money exactly. So Okay,
there's this YouTube channel that I'm actually obsessed with and
they talk about really the science of beauty globally, and
he actually gets a lot of ship because people are
constantly telling him that it's what he talks about is
connected to racism, colonialism, and eugenics. Um. But he really
(14:42):
sticks his feet into the ground and he says that
this is based off of data across the world in
terms of what's considered attractive. So you'll hear things about
how like symmetry is considered more attractive. Like, um, right now,
the trend of what is beautiful is actually uh, saggerated
features like high cheekbones, jawlines, big lips, certain types of
(15:05):
eyes that are slanted a certain type of way. Um,
eyebrows that fit the face and basically like facial harmony
and how it all has to do with how people
perceive you and then in turn how you are treated
and how you move in the world. Um. They were
he was talking about this one story about this woman
(15:25):
who actually sued her place of employment because she was
saying that they were treating her poorly because of her beauty.
She was like, literally flat out, like in court documents,
was saying, it's because I'm pretty that I got fired. Um.
Turns out they interviewed a bunch of people and they
were like, actually, she's a narcissist and she was horrible
(15:45):
and she was me not because she was pretty. So
you're seeing pretty people are narcissists. But there's also just
a lot of different data as well that really says
the opposite. Um. I pulled up this thing really quick.
I don't know how crowd a bill of a source
this is, but it was just saying how, um, attractive
individuals tend to be more talented, kinder and more trustworthy
(16:08):
and more taligent. Um, oh, this is according to you,
this is what people think. People's biases. They believe that
they are more talented, kind, and more trustworthy and more challenging,
so they get away with like a lot more things. Um,
I have to chime in. I think what makes people
attractive sometimes it's not necessarily how they look, but how
(16:30):
they the energy they bring. And I will say talent
is attractive to me. Like when I meet someone who
is like really good at piano or like really good
at singing, I'm like, oh, yes, uh if I. But
if they're just pretty, I like, I'm not attracted to
(16:51):
like the traditionally like beautiful person Like yes, I think
they're beautiful, but I don't nothing in my body says
like wow you have abs or wow you have whatever,
like I want to kiss you, let's get married. Nothing
about like that at all like makes me think like
oh my god, it's it's all about the energy, you
(17:12):
know what I'm saying. So I do feel like sometimes
these pretty privileged people, I think what it is is
that they're not aware of like maybe sometimes they are
of how pretty they are. But in school, I remember
that it was always the girls who didn't care, who like,
you know, they wore what they wanted to wear, they
did their hair how they wanted, and it was that
(17:35):
sense of independence and identity and secureness and confidence that
was way more attractive to me than traditionally being beautiful,
you know what I'm saying. So I feel like that
was like another thing of it was like, are you
really like pretty privileged or is it my perspective and
perception of like how you are being carried across the
(17:58):
world or is it just the energy you're giving off
because you don't give a funk and I care too much. Yeah, well,
I do also think that just attraction and what is
considered beautiful just by looking at it or pretty by
looking at it are also different things, different things. You
can meet someone who is like traditionally attractive, but they
(18:19):
just you don't vibe with them, so you're like, uh,
not for me. Or you can meet somebody who's like
not traditionally attractive, but you vibe with them and you're like,
oh my god, and they smell really good. There's a
lot of factors that go into being attractive. And they
talk about this on that website too, on that YouTube channel,
because what I'm trying to get into is like we
have you you were saying these things about like the
(18:40):
life risk bands that we have, Like you know, when
you're going to respand to go into an event and
it's either like V I P or general or like
artists or something. And I feel like a lot of
people within pretty privilege have different privileges of like we
would always say these people are always on the list,
(19:00):
Like when we go to events, even though we could
email and say hey, like yes, I would like to
go to this event. Here's my name for the red carpet,
here's whatever. We go to the event, and our names
are never on the list. I mean sometimes they are,
and these other people are always their names aren't on
the list, but they are on the list. They're like,
oh yeah, come, not based on like popularity, just because
(19:22):
of their life wristband s A yeah. Well. One of
the things that we also wanted to touch upon too
is that there are a lot of different factors that
go into this right like where as of right now,
we're not this conversation not a focus on like the
true privileges of being light skinned or anything dealing with racism, colorism,
(19:44):
able is um anything to deal with like size, people
of size, bat phobia, those people who like randomly get
the things that you're like, what how did they get
a free drink? Or how did they get a free
meal just by being here? Like, and you know, I
do think I owe And yes, going back to the
wristbands we were talking, I have this theory that I
(20:05):
believe that everybody in life has a different wristband. Like, um,
some people can show up late to something and get in.
I show up two minutes later, I'm blocked. My seat
has been given away. I'm not even on the list,
and I look crazy because I'm probably wearing a giant
hat sitting out there in the cold by myself. Like
there are people who will go up to the door
(20:26):
like the IT club or an IT party, and they'll
be like, oh my god, right this way, come on in.
But me, I literally will have been waiting in that
line for an hour. But you're a spand is that
you're able to charm the room and become friends with
literal huge celebrities or just like notable people. Me, I don't.
(20:49):
I just don't have that. I don't have that kind
of like charm. I'm very like shy, but Curly just
has this like magical thing about him that he's just
able to Like people are so like Jojo. When we
met Jojo, not Jojo Siwa Joe, the iconic Jojo Um
get out, uh leave right now, fame vocalist. She we
(21:13):
met her at BuzzFeed and I am such a huge
mega fan of hers and Curly meets her and immediately
it's like magnets and she's like, oh my god, I
love your tattoos. Oh my god, yeah we should hang
out or oh my gobble, you guys like exchange numbers
and instagrams or something, and they didn't. Drew barrymore like,
(21:34):
just like all of your stuff right now. No, remember
that was a lie. I mean that was this morning
and it was a fake account. Oh my god, this
morning I woke up. I was like, oh, more like
all my stuff that it was. Um no, And I think,
and I yes, and I agree and everybody you know,
(21:55):
and I think that we all have different risk bands
that help us in different ways. But in turn is
of I don't know it because you're pretty. I think
it's pretty. I look, I don't think I'm pretty good,
thank you, But I Curly, wait before you say anything.
You're pretty and you have charm and you're funny. I
(22:17):
you're pretty and you have time and you're funny, and
but I don't get it the way that you get it.
I'm just messy, and I think I'm relatable that I'm messy.
I don't know what my rest band is. I think
your wristband off the top of my head is like
one of them is like, you will inevitably get what
(22:37):
you want. No, but I want this and you will
inevitably somehow get it. What. Yeah, I will say that
with what well even down to like, well, maybe this
is like I feel like we're getting into a real converence.
This is what it sounds like when we talk on
the pod. I feel like when you want something like
professionally or you're like, I'm not happy with that. I'm
(23:00):
okay with that, this is what I want to do. Instead,
you're really good with your boundaries, and so you kind
of inevitably people listen to you based off of because
they know your boundaries and they know that you tend
to be right with a lot of those things. Um
so I'm as smartest person in the world. That's what
you're saying basically. Um, but yeah, I think in terms
of just like the pretty thing too, like the pretty
privilege I do. I honestly, look here, I would love
(23:23):
some of that pretty, privileged, privileged. I would love it
a little bit. I would love to be in this
space and at a time where I'm getting free ship
where people are like letting me into places where people
are just like like clamoring and saying what's up? And like,
I want people to think that I'm done because I'm pretty,
(23:45):
not because i'm actually Yeah, I would like to I
would like to seem like I'm dumb. I would like
to know. I would like everyone to stop thinking I'm
so smart, Like, okay, we're not saying that we think
we're ugly. Like I think I'm pretty. I think I'm beautiful.
I love my body, like I understand that I have
(24:06):
those curves, Like I was at the beach the other
day and I get an unwanted attention from unwanted people
who are like just gross and disgusting. I don't want that.
I want the Lisa McGuire um Paolo treatment where he's
like Isabella and I'm like, what it is me Italian
(24:27):
pop star Isabella? Yes, I will sing with you at
the Colisseum. What your fake? What your lip sinking? And
you want me to sing in front of all these people?
I will, I will do it. Because I love you.
I want that and I deserve that. I know. I
(24:48):
was like, what are we talking about? Welcome to the
astrology portion of the podcast Curly. Which sign has the
(25:10):
most pp energy pretty privileged energy. I'm gonna say Scorpios
And I was gonna say scorpios too, Scorpios and virgos
like there's like this, Like for me, it's the fire signs.
The fires sense to me have the most pretty privileged
because they walk in and I'm like an in here.
You know, I wasn't gonna say it. I wasn't gonna
(25:31):
say it. That's why I'm like, stop everyone thinking I'm
so dumb. I mean, I mean pretty. I also think
libras are very beautiful because in astrology, they literally are
like the most beautiful sign. Like I forgot what it
is about. Yeah, they're like supposed to be like pretty. Um,
(25:53):
I've yet to see one. I'm just kidding. I always
think of Jazz. I see a lot of pretty Libra.
There's like, oh my god. Um. Virgos definitely, Leos are
hot just because it's in their dna. Um. Yeah, every
(26:15):
single sign can. I think every single sign can exude
pretty privilege. Um. But I think Aquarius have really good,
pretty privilege because Aquarius are just so charming and you're
like and they don't really care. Yeah, like you're kind
of cute and sexy. Aries for sure. I'm trying to
(26:36):
think of like all my crushes, Um, Pisces women, Pisces.
I feel like Pisces are like, yeah, you know, Pisces
are really cool. They're really Actually all my Pisces fans
are really good looking to Um. What about Gemini? I
think Gemini's yes, because like you said in episode, which
(27:01):
one are we getting today? And both are pretty Yeah
supermodels in the world? Is uh a Gemini? Um? But yeah,
I feel like overall, I think that if I had
to pick over all the zodiac signs, my top pic
would be Virgo. Actually, I take that back. Virgos have
(27:23):
to work very hard to look a certain type of way.
I take that back. I'm going to go ahead and
just say Scorpios and Leo's. Scorpios and Leo's would be
you're saying Aries, what happened to the Aries? I always say, Area,
what fuck you? You never ever loved me before a
(27:43):
day in your life. You're the biggest friend I have
ever come across. It takes a sip of my copy whatever,
Oh my God. Conclude our astrology section for this week, satisfying.
(28:06):
In conclusion, Carlitos the freaking heck? Am I pretty? You know? Yes?
You are? Am I pretty today? You are today? You're
a solid medium. Look. I think in the world there
(28:28):
are different types of privileges, different types of rispons that
get you into different parts of the world, whether that's
a job, a club, a man finances, um, married into
a rich family. I do believe that pretty privilege is
something that UM people have yet to kind of talk
about more openly. I think that this it's real. It's
also a dangerous topic because people truly cannot help the
(28:50):
way that they look. They cannot help the way that
they are treated. So I think that for me, at
the end of the day, just be aware of how
you're treating other is how you would like to be treated.
Such a boundaries babes, and just love on as many
people as you can. So you said that my wristband
is the fact that I'm good at setting boundaries. You know, dog,
(29:17):
we're breaking off. This is l I don't know, That's
why I was asking. You're like you said, boundaries really well,
and you get what I couldn't think of anything on
the spot. You know what, We're gonna end this because
(29:37):
my inclusion, my conclusion for this is like it's all
based on perception and perspective, like I've been saying for everything.
Everything is like the way we see people, like how
high on a pedestal we set them? And also it's
like what does it say about us? Like we're really
talking about what we're lacking when we give someone else
(29:59):
so much power our like we can observe how much
somebody is pretty, but not absorbed the fact that like
you're not, which is not a fact, like you are
like society all that. It's so bullshit like I don't
freaking care, Like who cares? Whatever? Dude, it's true. But
I will say this that, like if somebody comes up
to you and it's like, um, hey, what's up? Can
(30:21):
I borrow a dollar? And they were like your hype?
I think it would be more in clients and be like,
oh um, but give them a dollar. I don't want
to be with someone who asked me for a dollar.
How did I think of an example? Like, you know,
what would you do for somebody Downhills. So thank you
so much for listening everyone to another episode of The
(30:42):
Super Secret bestI Club Podcast. Um, Curly, how can we
find you on social media? You can find me on
social media at the currently v show, Vias and Velasquez
on Instagram and TikTok what about you. You can find
me at Maya in the Moment on all social media platforms.
You set us up on our social media to let
us know what you want to listen to on the
next episode of The Super Secret Best Thing Club Podcast.
(31:06):
And I guess I'm just solely good at setting boundaries,
Oh my god. And I guess I'm only good at
being friends with celebrities. Oh my God. Bye. Make sure
(31:32):
to hit that subscribe button to hear more episodes every
single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast is a
production of Sono in partnership with iHeart Radios Michael Podcast Network.
For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
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