The Heiress and the Fastballer

This week we meet the Fastballer. Throws over a hundred mph. Just signed a big fat MLB contract.

She’s a billionaire’s daughter. A wild thing. Really likes to have a good time. The crazier the better.

They meet at a South Beach soiree and that same night she recruits him for a trip to Greece to attend a fancy destination wedding. 

What could possibly go wrong?

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to

(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet the Fastbawler throws over one hundred
miles per hour. Just signed a big, fat MLB contract.

(00:52):
She's a billionaire's daughter, a wild thing, really likes to
have a good time. The crazier the better. They meet
at a South Beach soiree, and that same night she
recruits him for a trip to Greece to attend a
fancy destination wedding. What could possibly go wrong? The heiress

(01:21):
and the fastballer. He drops her on the postage stamp
sized deserted island they found a few days ago while
out yachting. After she jumps overboard and swims to shore,
he yells, you're crazy. This is not news. This is

(01:44):
an extremely apt description. A very pretty girl with a
very hot body and a super rich daddy can be
all kinds of crazy and everyone just laughs and tries
to get in her pants. Boys and girls alike, even
at her tender age. She's had plenty of both. Back

(02:06):
in the States at a South beach Corrouse, she picked
him to be her date at next week's big destination
wedding extravaganza here in Greece on the island of Micanos.
Why did she pick him? Because he's hotter than hades
and because he's the next big thing in the MLB

(02:29):
with his powerful left arm that can throw a rising
fastball at over one hundred miles per hour. A few
months shy of his twenty fourth birthday, and he just
signed for the big score millions. Not that she gives
it too. It about the money her dady has billions.

(02:51):
They arrived on Micanos last week, checked into a suite
at the palladium overlooking the sea, and immediately starting having
extremely vigorous sex. He had never been to Grease before,
had never been out of the States before, had never
really had sex before, not like this. Usually the girls

(03:13):
just kind of lay there and swarmed around a little.
This was more like having sex with a wild cat,
maybe a cheetah or a mountain lion. And when not
having sex, she ate ordered everything from room service, shrimp, cocktail,
shrimp scampy, steak, sandwiches, French fries, steffato, sulaki, ice cream,

(03:39):
and of course champagne, endless bottles of champagne. And she
never tired because every hour or so she raisored up
a thin line of white powder on the glass coffee
table in front of the sofa and snorted it up
through a roll tight one hundred dollar bill. In awe

(04:02):
of her, he just did what he was told. Occasionally
they went out to frolic in the infinity pool, including
once at like three in the morning, she pulled off
her teeny bikini bottom and said, honeyboy, doo me in
the moonlight. Several times, in locker rooms and on buses

(04:24):
to away games, he and his teammates had discussed whether
it was possible to have sex underwater. He always expressed
the opinion that it was definitely impossible, no way to
get it in there. Well wrong again. Three or four
days into their sexual romp, they run at a yacht

(04:46):
with a crew and went cruising around the Mediterranean. That's
when they found the small deserted island, where she told
the crew not to peek before they jumped overboard swam
ashore and had raw sex on the fine white sand
while she dreamed up this whole crazy scenario wherein they

(05:07):
were marooned and might never again get back to civilization.
The tiny island, smaller than a baseball field and about
the same shape, had one palm tree. The palm provided
a smidgeon of shade, and its coconuts the island's only
source of food. Well, get so nice and thin, she declared,

(05:31):
while we screw ourselves silly. He nodded and tried to
act jolly and compliant, but it was tough with those
dudes on the yacht peering through the portholes, and because
well because he is a wiener, had started to look
like it had been left too long on the weber.
A couple days later, back at their sweet at the Palladium,

(05:56):
she finished off a fourth piece of super sweet cheesecake
and declared, Oh my god, I'm so fucking fat. He
thought she was skinny as a stick, which was incredible
considering the way she put away the chow, But she
had some self body shaming issues. He'd never get his

(06:19):
mostly empty head around. Fat that fat, she shouted, fat
that fat, and she waddled around the room, stark naked
and shaking her non existent belly. Fat. You're not fat, Jesus,
You're like I mean, you're like perfect. I am fat
and the wedding is in three days. I can't go

(06:40):
to the wedding looking like this. I'll look like a
sow in the exquisite gown Halston made just for me.
He'd seen her in that gown just the other night. Unbelievable.
The skimpy gold thing fit like a glove, perfectly showed
off every bump and curve. I've got it, she shouted,

(07:01):
I've got it, pulling on Undy's short shorts and a
cropped tea. I've got the absolutely most audacious, incredible idea ever.
It'll be good for me, and if we play it
just right, super good for you too. Awesome, he said,
He said awesome a lot. He had a very super

(07:23):
fast left handed fastball, a multi million dollar fastball, but
the rest of his game, well maybe just a touch
on the slow side. What's the idea? Too much food
in this dump, she announced, slipping into her ug slip onds.
I need to go where there's no food, not a crumb,

(07:44):
and no booze, not so much as a wee dram. Now,
come on, let's sced daddle. This time, they didn't go
by yacht. They rented a speedboat down at the marina
and zoomed off at full throttle, the crazy little rich
girl at the helm. They passed many islands, sped through

(08:04):
several narrow channels, hydroplaned over smooth open water. You know
where we're going, he asked, Oh, good God, what fun
would that be? And then she laughed. She laughed and laughed,
and soon the little deserted island came into view. She
pulled back on the throttle and let the speedboats settle

(08:25):
into an idol twenty yards off the island with its
single coconut palm. She moved to the bow, showed him
her breasts and instructed, three days, give me three days,
pick me up in exactly three days. I'll be runway
model thin by then. And she dove into the sea

(08:46):
and started stroking. This is when he shouted, you're crazy.
As she waded ashore. I'm free, she shouted back, free
of food, free of booze, free of tempty. Well, he
got completely lost on his way back to Meconos, entirely

(09:08):
turned around all that water, everything looked the same. He
had no idea what direction to go. He'd never even
driven a boat before, first time ever. He threw fastballs.
That was this thing, rising fastballs, just rear back, baby,
and fire away. Well. Soon the boat ran out of gas.

(09:32):
He drifted for hours, watched the sunset. Eventually an island
came into view. He dove overboard and swam ashore. Found
a small town. Nobody spoke a word of English, not
a word, and is less than stellar Greek. He asked
a young couple pause the Gamos Dave of Philandia. He

(09:57):
meant to ask for directions back to Hmm. He didn't
do very well. Would have been better to zip the
old lip. The young man that he had asked frowned
and immediately punched him in the nose, possibly breaking it
and clearly causing large amounts of blood to flow. Then

(10:20):
that not enough to deflect the insult. The young man
wrenched the fast baller's arm, his left arm, of course,
behind his back, until all present heard the ulna crack.
They didn't know it was the ulna, but unfortunately it
was the olna is one of the very important bones

(10:41):
in the forearm that helps boys and girls throw balls.
The fastball you see, had inconveniently asked not how can
I get to Mecanos, but rather, how can I screw
your girlfriend? And now, after much angst and anger and

(11:03):
many bad translations and accusations, it's three days later and
he's in a cast and not sure when he'll be
back throwing fastballs again. But that is of no great
concern right now because the national police the Hellenica Polisia
are holding him responsible for the disappearance of the all

(11:26):
powerful tech billionaire's teenage daughter. Teenage daughter, are you kidding me,
shit man? She told me she was twenty three. The
police think his crazy story about the weight loss scheme
on the deserted island is pure poppycock. Nevertheless, for the

(11:48):
past sixteen hours they've been cruising around the Mediterranean looking
for the beautiful girl with the hot body on the
little island with the single coconut palm. The story has
already made headlines back home, and that big fat MLB
contract the ink not yet dry, is in jeopardy. Boats

(12:12):
filled with Papa Razzi follow the police boat. It is
like so much else in modern life, a fucking circus.
And then and then he sees it in the distance,
across the sea. He points there, over there, the police
boat closes on the small island, resting against the smooth

(12:35):
trunk of the coconut palm. Her face the picture of
pure bliss, absolutely certain, nothing bad could ever happen to her. Ever,
she waves, She gives a big wave, and after a
moment she stands and smiles, a great, big, super wide,

(12:56):
super happy, super rich girl smile. She looks magnificent, like
some minor Greek goddess. Hair bleached blonde, and every inch
of her body, every inch bronzed by that high, hot
Mediterranean sun, and so thin. Look at her, good God,

(13:20):
a virtual skeleton, the embodiment of modern beauty. Skinny, yes,
but stunning, gorgeous, fabulous. Oh what a hit. She'll be
at the wedding in her halston and her hunky Fastballer
thanks to her scheming, now a figure of intense media

(13:41):
and Internet interest, hard at her side. Thanks for listening
to this original audio presentation of the Heiress and the Fastballer,
narrated as always by the author. If you enjoy Today's story.

(14:06):
Please take a few seconds to rate, review, and subscribe
to this podcast, and then go to Thomas William Simpson
dot com for additional information about the author and to
view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller is produced
by Andrew Pliglici and Josh Colodney and as part of

(14:30):
the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with Iheartproductions. Until
next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.