May 2, 2024 • 13 mins
Like many of the stories in this series, THE WINDOW WASHER AND HIS PUP rolls right out of real life. Real events.
Many of us take our great good fortune for granted. A roof over our heads, three squares a day, good health, families that love us. But for many, life’s not so sweet. Take John Adams for instance. Not a whole lot of joy or good luck in his life.
But hey, maybe his luck is about to change.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
Today's offering is entitled The window Washer and His Pup.
(00:49):
Like many of the stories in this series, the window
Washer and His Pup rolls right out of real life,
real events. Now, many of us take our great good
fortune for granted, a roof over our heads, three squares
a day, good health, and families that love us. But
(01:09):
for many, life's not quite this sweet. Take John Adams,
for instance, not a whole lot of joy or good
luck in his life. But hey, maybe his luck is
about to change. The window Washer and his Pup. John
(01:32):
Adams has led a tough life, a hard life, one
might think, with that name so revered in these United States,
a man with such a designation might live on easy
Street drift an inch or two above the earth, above
the fray. But no, not this John Adams. This John
(01:54):
Adams has suffered. His dad died when he was just
a kid heart attack at thirty six Jesus. His mom,
desperate for money and companionship, married a smiling bank officer
who turned out to be a sadistic jackquad who smacked
(02:15):
John around. If John so much as passed gas or
asked for another slice of pie, you think all that
goddamn pie is for you, kid? Bam whack. Then, when
John was a senior in high school, his mom died
of sadness and despair, and John fled before his stepfather
(02:37):
could rough him up and kick him out the door.
He lived for a while in the basement of a
coffee shop, where he swept floors and moved boxes and
ground peabody beans from Tanzania and did whatever else. The
sadistic Albanian owner, who pretended he was Greek, told him
(02:58):
to do well. Then one day a pack of surly
agents from Ice showed up and deported the Albanian, and
that was the end of the coffee shop. The landlord,
living the good life in Bemony bone fishing and boning
lonely ladies on holiday, showed up found John sleeping in
(03:19):
the basement on some broken down cardboard boxes and chased
him out like he was nothing more than a feral cat.
John slept that very night on a park bench until
around four in the morning, when a cop gave him
a poke with his night stick and told him to scat.
(03:40):
He wandered about for the next few years, vagabond style,
picking up sticks in people's yards for loose change, and
picking up most of his meals at fast food joints
burghers and fries and cokes and cherry pies not made
with cherries. All his life, John had lived inside an
(04:02):
endomorph's body, but a few years on a burger king
McDonald's Wendy's diet and endomorph turned into megamorph. John was
dag near as wide as he was tall. An emergency
room visit precipitated by an unresolved and untreated strap throat
(04:26):
paired up with a low grade fever and a barkie
cough put him on Emock'sicilan, which was good, but some
blood work discovered numbers that screamed pre diabetes, which was bad.
The emergency room doc, a wise ass Whitey in his
(04:47):
late twenties from the New Jersey suburbs who holds an
authentic medical degree from Saint George's University in Grenada, tells
John he smells bad, needs a haircut, is thirty pounds overweight,
and if he doesn't get his shit together asap, he'll
(05:07):
be dead within a year. That's what he told him. Nice,
What a swell guy with a big heart. Every flipping
privilege known to man laid at his long, skinny feet,
including this emergency room gig that is old man the
head of neurosurgery set up for him, And still the
(05:31):
heartless bastard feels the need to batter the battered John Adams.
He's got nothing zippo zilch, no car, no bike, no
health insurance, no bank account, no CDs, no mother, no father,
no college or high school diploma, no wife, no kids,
(05:53):
no girlfriend, no friends, no prospects. But he does this day,
walking out of the emergency room, have himself a tiny
little stroke of good luck. His mom taught him good manners,
and so he holds the door open for a guy
(06:13):
on crutches with a cast on his right leg that
runs practically from his crotch all the way down to
his toes. Thanks good, the guy grumbles as he bowls
his way out the door. He's a big guy, tall
and thick and right now clearly ticked off about the
(06:34):
whole rotten state of the universe. Broke the goddamn leg
in like three places, he confesses, even though John didn't ask,
shattered something called the the femur. Whatever the hell that
is eight weeks, eight flipping weeks without one red nickel
coming in height of the season, and I gotta cancel
(06:55):
two months work. I'm screwed, kid, I'm screwed, screwed up
the wazoo. But do you think my ex gives a
damn huh? Do you No? Not a chance? She still
wants her dough every damn dime. I called her earlier,
told her what happened, asked her, you know, if maybe
she could come to the ear and pick me up.
You know what she said. John shakes his head, but
(07:20):
takes a stab at it. Go to hell. Now, John
might be an indigent, down on his luck, pre diabetic,
fat guy, but he ain't dumb, and he's got a
pretty good sense of humor. The guy with the busted
leg almost busts a gut. He laughs so hard, and
(07:42):
that seals the deal. He's a window washer with his
own window washing biz, just him, no partners, no employees.
But this morning he fell off the ladder reaching to
get a pane of glass, just a tad out of reach.
Whoa Jesus Cohow is a bam? And then off to
(08:04):
the emergency room. John drives the window washer home in
the window washer's ford econoline van. Window washer complains the
whole way about his crappy lot in life and the
crappy state of just about every damn thing under the sun.
(08:24):
John just drives. He's long past his whining days. The
window washer's house is a small, tidy ranch and an
okay part of town, nice little front porch on a
quiet street. They sit on that front porch and hammer
out a contract. John will drive the van, run a
(08:47):
few errands, and wash windows for one hundred bucks a
day until the broken bones heel. After that, well they'll
see one hundred bucks a day. Kid, you want more?
John shakes his head. I'm not gonna let my ice
cream melt counting your sprinkles. Huh, what's that? Huh? One
(09:10):
hundred dollars is perfect good, says the window washer. We
start tomorrow, John, nods and says, I got nowhere to sleep.
You think it would be okay if I camped in
the backyard. Hell's fire, John Adams, you can sleep right
in the spare bedroom. My kid used to sleep there,
but she vamoosed with her rotten mother. John's second day
(09:35):
on the job up at a big house on the heights,
a whole litter of cute little beagle puppies run around
the backyard. The missus says, the pups are eight weeks
old and ready to be off to their new homes.
Are there any pups left? Asks John the window washer,
(09:57):
Just one, the runt of the litter. Well, you think
I could do? You think I could get him? I've
always wanted a pup. Sure, he's one hundred dollars. John
hands over the five twenty dollars bills the boss gave
him last night, and when John arrives back at the
(10:18):
ranch house a few hours later, all excited about his
new pup, he finds an ambulance in the driveway and
the boss being wheeled out through the front door on
a gurney, oxygen mask covering his face. This your father,
asks the EMT. John sort of half nods and half
(10:40):
shakes his head. He learned a long time ago that
the world was many shades of gray. What happened? He
asks Stroke. He's in tough shape, but we'll do our best.
I'm not sure he's gonna make it into the back,
goes the boss down the quiet street. Lights flashing and
(11:03):
siren blaring raises the ambulance. John scoops up his pup
off the passenger seat of the van and heads inside.
He finds a bowl and gives the pup water. Sits
on the floor and smiles while the pup laps it up.
John cracks beats and cooks up a big platter of
(11:26):
scrambled eggs. He shares his bounty with his new buddy, Bounty.
He says, that's what I'm going to call you, Bounty. Bounty.
Peas on the linoleum floor, John wipes it up with
a bounty paper towel. This makes John laugh. He rubs
(11:46):
Bounty's head and scratches Bounty's belly. They go out back
where there's a nice, big fenced in yard and lots
of lush green grass. They roll around on the grass,
playing and Bounty bounding, and John laughing and laughing. They
both sleep on the queen size bed in the guest room,
(12:06):
Bounty curled up close against John's side, and in the
morning they share another platter of scrambled eggs, and then
off they go in the van to wash some windows.
The Happy window Washer and his pup Bounty. Thanks for
(12:32):
listening to this original audio presentation of the window Washer
and his Pup, narrated by the author. If you enjoy
today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review,
and subscribe to this podcast. The Ten Minute Storyteller is
produced by Andrew Pleglici and Josh Colodney and as part
(12:56):
of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with iHeart Productions.
Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller,
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
Today's offering is entitled The window Washer and His Pup.
(00:49):
Like many of the stories in this series, the window
Washer and His Pup rolls right out of real life,
real events. Now, many of us take our great good
fortune for granted, a roof over our heads, three squares
a day, good health, and families that love us. But
(01:09):
for many, life's not quite this sweet. Take John Adams,
for instance, not a whole lot of joy or good
luck in his life. But hey, maybe his luck is
about to change. The window Washer and his Pup. John
(01:32):
Adams has led a tough life, a hard life, one
might think, with that name so revered in these United States,
a man with such a designation might live on easy
Street drift an inch or two above the earth, above
the fray. But no, not this John Adams. This John
(01:54):
Adams has suffered. His dad died when he was just
a kid heart attack at thirty six Jesus. His mom,
desperate for money and companionship, married a smiling bank officer
who turned out to be a sadistic jackquad who smacked
(02:15):
John around. If John so much as passed gas or
asked for another slice of pie, you think all that
goddamn pie is for you, kid? Bam whack. Then, when
John was a senior in high school, his mom died
of sadness and despair, and John fled before his stepfather
(02:37):
could rough him up and kick him out the door.
He lived for a while in the basement of a
coffee shop, where he swept floors and moved boxes and
ground peabody beans from Tanzania and did whatever else. The
sadistic Albanian owner, who pretended he was Greek, told him
(02:58):
to do well. Then one day a pack of surly
agents from Ice showed up and deported the Albanian, and
that was the end of the coffee shop. The landlord,
living the good life in Bemony bone fishing and boning
lonely ladies on holiday, showed up found John sleeping in
(03:19):
the basement on some broken down cardboard boxes and chased
him out like he was nothing more than a feral cat.
John slept that very night on a park bench until
around four in the morning, when a cop gave him
a poke with his night stick and told him to scat.
(03:40):
He wandered about for the next few years, vagabond style,
picking up sticks in people's yards for loose change, and
picking up most of his meals at fast food joints
burghers and fries and cokes and cherry pies not made
with cherries. All his life, John had lived inside an
(04:02):
endomorph's body, but a few years on a burger king
McDonald's Wendy's diet and endomorph turned into megamorph. John was
dag near as wide as he was tall. An emergency
room visit precipitated by an unresolved and untreated strap throat
(04:26):
paired up with a low grade fever and a barkie
cough put him on Emock'sicilan, which was good, but some
blood work discovered numbers that screamed pre diabetes, which was bad.
The emergency room doc, a wise ass Whitey in his
(04:47):
late twenties from the New Jersey suburbs who holds an
authentic medical degree from Saint George's University in Grenada, tells
John he smells bad, needs a haircut, is thirty pounds overweight,
and if he doesn't get his shit together asap, he'll
(05:07):
be dead within a year. That's what he told him. Nice,
What a swell guy with a big heart. Every flipping
privilege known to man laid at his long, skinny feet,
including this emergency room gig that is old man the
head of neurosurgery set up for him, And still the
(05:31):
heartless bastard feels the need to batter the battered John Adams.
He's got nothing zippo zilch, no car, no bike, no
health insurance, no bank account, no CDs, no mother, no father,
no college or high school diploma, no wife, no kids,
(05:53):
no girlfriend, no friends, no prospects. But he does this day,
walking out of the emergency room, have himself a tiny
little stroke of good luck. His mom taught him good manners,
and so he holds the door open for a guy
(06:13):
on crutches with a cast on his right leg that
runs practically from his crotch all the way down to
his toes. Thanks good, the guy grumbles as he bowls
his way out the door. He's a big guy, tall
and thick and right now clearly ticked off about the
(06:34):
whole rotten state of the universe. Broke the goddamn leg
in like three places, he confesses, even though John didn't ask,
shattered something called the the femur. Whatever the hell that
is eight weeks, eight flipping weeks without one red nickel
coming in height of the season, and I gotta cancel
(06:55):
two months work. I'm screwed, kid, I'm screwed, screwed up
the wazoo. But do you think my ex gives a
damn huh? Do you No? Not a chance? She still
wants her dough every damn dime. I called her earlier,
told her what happened, asked her, you know, if maybe
she could come to the ear and pick me up.
You know what she said. John shakes his head, but
(07:20):
takes a stab at it. Go to hell. Now, John
might be an indigent, down on his luck, pre diabetic,
fat guy, but he ain't dumb, and he's got a
pretty good sense of humor. The guy with the busted
leg almost busts a gut. He laughs so hard, and
(07:42):
that seals the deal. He's a window washer with his
own window washing biz, just him, no partners, no employees.
But this morning he fell off the ladder reaching to
get a pane of glass, just a tad out of reach.
Whoa Jesus Cohow is a bam? And then off to
(08:04):
the emergency room. John drives the window washer home in
the window washer's ford econoline van. Window washer complains the
whole way about his crappy lot in life and the
crappy state of just about every damn thing under the sun.
(08:24):
John just drives. He's long past his whining days. The
window washer's house is a small, tidy ranch and an
okay part of town, nice little front porch on a
quiet street. They sit on that front porch and hammer
out a contract. John will drive the van, run a
(08:47):
few errands, and wash windows for one hundred bucks a
day until the broken bones heel. After that, well they'll
see one hundred bucks a day. Kid, you want more?
John shakes his head. I'm not gonna let my ice
cream melt counting your sprinkles. Huh, what's that? Huh? One
(09:10):
hundred dollars is perfect good, says the window washer. We
start tomorrow, John, nods and says, I got nowhere to sleep.
You think it would be okay if I camped in
the backyard. Hell's fire, John Adams, you can sleep right
in the spare bedroom. My kid used to sleep there,
but she vamoosed with her rotten mother. John's second day
(09:35):
on the job up at a big house on the heights,
a whole litter of cute little beagle puppies run around
the backyard. The missus says, the pups are eight weeks
old and ready to be off to their new homes.
Are there any pups left? Asks John the window washer,
(09:57):
Just one, the runt of the litter. Well, you think
I could do? You think I could get him? I've
always wanted a pup. Sure, he's one hundred dollars. John
hands over the five twenty dollars bills the boss gave
him last night, and when John arrives back at the
(10:18):
ranch house a few hours later, all excited about his
new pup, he finds an ambulance in the driveway and
the boss being wheeled out through the front door on
a gurney, oxygen mask covering his face. This your father,
asks the EMT. John sort of half nods and half
(10:40):
shakes his head. He learned a long time ago that
the world was many shades of gray. What happened? He
asks Stroke. He's in tough shape, but we'll do our best.
I'm not sure he's gonna make it into the back,
goes the boss down the quiet street. Lights flashing and
(11:03):
siren blaring raises the ambulance. John scoops up his pup
off the passenger seat of the van and heads inside.
He finds a bowl and gives the pup water. Sits
on the floor and smiles while the pup laps it up.
John cracks beats and cooks up a big platter of
(11:26):
scrambled eggs. He shares his bounty with his new buddy, Bounty.
He says, that's what I'm going to call you, Bounty. Bounty.
Peas on the linoleum floor, John wipes it up with
a bounty paper towel. This makes John laugh. He rubs
(11:46):
Bounty's head and scratches Bounty's belly. They go out back
where there's a nice, big fenced in yard and lots
of lush green grass. They roll around on the grass,
playing and Bounty bounding, and John laughing and laughing. They
both sleep on the queen size bed in the guest room,
(12:06):
Bounty curled up close against John's side, and in the
morning they share another platter of scrambled eggs, and then
off they go in the van to wash some windows.
The Happy window Washer and his pup Bounty. Thanks for
(12:32):
listening to this original audio presentation of the window Washer
and his Pup, narrated by the author. If you enjoy
today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review,
and subscribe to this podcast. The Ten Minute Storyteller is
produced by Andrew Pleglici and Josh Colodney and as part
(12:56):
of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with iHeart Productions.
Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller,
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