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July 24, 2024 18 mins

Let's take a collective deep breath and explore all the feels after the big news of the weekend. President Joe Biden has announced he isn't seeking re-election and Vice-President Kamala Harris is the presumptive nominee. Whether you're excited, anxious, hesitant, or somewhere in between, it’s all valid. Tune in as I share some of my thoughts and feelings and hopefully find some comfort in knowing you're not alone. 

About the Podcast

The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

 

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation
about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions
we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed
psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find

(00:32):
a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy
for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you love listening
to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant
to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed
mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining

(00:58):
me for session three sixty nine the Therapy for Black
Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation afterword from
our sponsors. Okay, I feel like we all just need

(01:23):
to start with the deepest inhale and exhale that we
can possibly muster. Right now. I know that I'm not
the only one who has been holding my breath, walking
around with my shoulders all tensed, tension in my neck,
just all the things tense. So I wanted to jump

(01:48):
on to have a quick community check in because as
many of you, I'm sure I have been paying attention
to the news of the weekend and feeling a little whiplass,
so little, what's going on? What do we need to
do next? Like just a little scattered, And as y'all know,
anytime I'm feeling something, I imagine that many of you

(02:11):
are also experiencing it, which is why I like to
check in at times like this. So if you've been
paying attention, which I'm sure you have been, you know that.
On Sunday afternoon or Sunday morning, I believe, or maybe midday,
President Joe Biden announced that he would not actually be
seeking reelection this year, and at first that was the

(02:33):
only statement that he was stepping down. He thought that
that was best for the party. And then a little
while later it came out that he was also now
endorsing his vice president, Kamala Harris to seek the nomination
from the Democratic Party. So at first I felt, oh,
my gosh, what in the world is happening? What does

(02:55):
this mean? Like what's even going on? But I didn't
even really have time to sit with this because we
were kind of getting ready and on the way out
the door for the kids flag football game, and so
I didn't really even have time to sit with like
everything that was happening. So in between timeouts and halftimes
and all the things, I'm like checking my phones to
see what's going on, which is when I think I

(03:17):
found out that he was now also endorsing Vice President
Kamala Harris to be the nominee. So I think, like
many of you, I was feeling like, okay, kind of excited.
Is this an opportunity for us to elect the first
black woman, the first woman of color, first woman period

(03:38):
as president? But also is this really going to work?
Like have we shot ourselves in the foot, so to
speak as a democratic party? Like do we even really
have a chance now? And so I found myself kind
of waffling throughout the day, tuning into the news, paying
attention to what pundits were saying and the chatter online.

(04:02):
And then I saw that there was a call that
was going to be later that night from the Win
with Black Women organization shout out to Joe taka Edi.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to join that call on Sunday night,
but from all reports, people left feeling incredibly energized, galvanized,
ready to work, ready to do what needed to be

(04:25):
done to get Vice president Kamala Harris elected to the presidency,
and so I'm very excited to hear that, and I
think that that turned things around for a lot of people.
But I really wanted to check in with the people
who maybe are not quite there yet, because I think
what often happens, and I think we do this a

(04:48):
lot as black women, is that we immediately jump into
action without really giving ourselves time to kind of sit
with the what in the world of it? All? Right, So,
if you are still kind of feeling what just happened?
How did we get here? I want you to know

(05:08):
that I see you, and that that is a totally
valid reaction to what is already starting to be a
very up and down in tumultuous election cycle. I think
it was like that even before this weekend's announcement, and
I think even more so now. And so if you
have not gotten to excitement, if you're still feeling a

(05:31):
little anxious, a little hesitant, a little how is this
all going to work? I want you to know that
I see you and that it is okay to feel
however it is that you're feeling. I do appreciate the excitement,
and I found myself even though I was not on
the call, getting more towards a place of excitement by

(05:51):
the end of Sunday evening, just carrying the reports of
the call. But it's okay if you are not there.
And I think one of the things that many Black
women may be a little hesitant about, a little concerned about,
is what in the world are these next couple of
months going to look like, both for the vice president,

(06:14):
but also I think in our own lives, And already
I think many of us are already imagining the vitriol
that will be released because this is a black woman
running for the presidency, and I don't think that it
is unrealistic to imagine that or to be bracing ourselves
for what is going to be unleashed in the next

(06:36):
couple of months. And as true as that is, what
I also know to be true is that Black women
rally like no other. And so if this is where
we find ourselves, I trust in the ability of black
women to lead to Galvani the community, to strategize and

(07:03):
to point us to the path of victory. I don't
know that there's anybody else that I trust more than
I trust black women with this kind of an effort.
So On the one hand, that does make me feel
incredibly hopeful that there may be a path to victory
for us, and you know, an ability for us to

(07:25):
stop Projects twenty twenty five and to stop the rolling
back of many of the rights that the Republican Party
has done and continue to attempt to do with the
campaign of Donald Trump. So I'm hopeful if anybody can
get this done, black women in charge can get this done.

(07:46):
But again, I also want to hold space for the
trepidation that that means for many of us. And even
before this announcement this weekend, I kind of found myself
already a little more anxious about the election cycle. I
think after former President Trump's rally where there was the shooting,

(08:06):
I think it made me kind of pay attention and
like lock into what was happening with the new cycle
related to the election in a way that I hadn't previously,
just because I was trying to protect my own mental
health and kind of protect my own piece by not
really kind of falling down the rabbit hole. And I
think that that rally really forced me to pay attention

(08:27):
in a new way and so found myself really anxious
about like, oh, my goodness, like, is this guy going
to get elected again? And what is this going to mean?
And how are we going to kind of pull ourselves
together and out of this? And so, in a conversation
with my own therapist last week, shared that with her,
and she shared that I was not the first client
that had brought up those same kinds of things that

(08:49):
the shooting, of course had kind of led to people
kind of locking in in a different way. And so
one of the things that was really helpful in my
conversation with her that day was her questioning around, when
have you found yourself in this place before? And are
there some things that have been helpful to you in
the past that you could also lean on in this moment?

(09:13):
And so it started me to think about how anxious
and you know, very uncertain I felt in the beginning
of the pandemic, and like, how do I keep myself safe?
How do I keep my family safe? How do we
keep the community safe? And the resources that I had
to lean on? Right, Like, in periods of uncertainty, there
are often answers in places that we may be overlooking,

(09:33):
and those answers often come in the form of community,
I think. And so in that questioning and conversation with her,
it reminded me that, yes, I have been through some
very difficult times before, periods of uncertainty, periods of anxiety
and not knowing the answers, and even though it was rough,
I have made it through that. And that means that

(09:54):
I very likely couldn't do that again. And so I
want to offer that to you as well, tell that
you have been through some very very tough times and
you have made it through the other side. And the
one thing that I do know is that the only
way through difficult times is together. And so I hope

(10:15):
that you will lean on the Therapy for Black Girls community,
lean on your other circles of support, so really help
you to get through this time that can be very difficult.
More from our conversation after the break, I think again,

(10:43):
if you are feeling hesitant about this moment in history,
what this election cycle is going to kind of unfold into,
there are a couple of things that you probably do
need to keep in mind, because we already know and
we're already seeing it that there will be you way
more control activity online, lots of misinformation, lots of attempting

(11:07):
to spread rumors and mistruths about Vice President Harris and
her record and her character and all of these things.
And so I think it is really really important for you,
as much as you may be wanted tune in right now,
and again I'm guilty of this myself, but to be
very careful to monitor your engagement and the time that

(11:28):
you are spending both online kind of consuming news, but
also interacting with different accounts online. So we know for
the last presidential election there was an increase in bot
activity when people pretending to be black women online and
all of these things, attempting to engage with other accounts

(11:49):
in bad faith. And so I caution you about interacting
with these accounts because a lot of them you can
tell because they are like newer accounts, there won't likely
be a lot of information on the account. And so
as much as it may feel good to kind of
try to prove somebody wrong or to tell them where
they can get off, it may feel good in the moment,

(12:13):
but in the long run, it is likely diminishing your energy,
keeping you less focused on the task at hand, and
just is likely not a great use of your time.
And so I want to encourage you to both be
careful and monitor the amount of time that you're spending online,
but to also be very careful and to just completely

(12:34):
ignore the trolls, right like, just block them and move on,
as opposed to engaging with them in any kind of way.
The second thing that I will say is that right
now we will have to dig deeper into our reserves
of joy, our reserves of play, our reserves of frolicking,

(12:57):
because digging deep into our reserve is what allows us
to kind of wake up and fight another day. And
so in those moments where you find yourself laughing or
playing with friends on the weekend, or you know, dilly
dealing with your kids or kids in your community, make
sure that you savor those moments and take those moments

(13:19):
whenever you can, because again, building up those reserves is
what will allow us to keep fighting and doing what
we need to do, as black women often do, to
kind of save this country. And I think that that
leads me to my other point around this idea of
like black women saving something, and I understand like the

(13:39):
resentment and the why do we have to keep doing this?
And I think an interesting reframe or something I want
to offer it to you is that it is not
necessarily about saving other people. It is really about saving ourselves,
and then as a byproduct, other people kind of get
the benefit of that. If we focus more on what

(14:01):
we need to do to actually save ourselves and our
loved ones in our community, then I think that that
is a more helpful kind of framing of that idea
than it really is about saving anybody else. So I
want to offer that to you as well. I also
think again going back to my point around really leaning
into community and not feeling like you have to do

(14:22):
any of this alone. And if you need to step
back and let somebody else kind of take the front
rolls for some time, it's okay to do that. But
I think that that is what it means to be
in community and to actively engage in community, is that
everybody doesn't have to be on the front row. At
the same time, there are other people that are needed

(14:43):
in the back rows and in the kitchens and in
the schools, in all of those places. And so really
getting intentional and serious about either continuing to foster and
build community where you are or getting started at building community,
because again, and the only way that we are going
to get through this is together and so really look

(15:05):
around at how can you be active in your community?
What kinds of people can you build community with so
that you can be in it for the long haul.
I also think that a really important part of this,
when you feel ready, is to actually get involved. Right. So,
you already heard me reference the Win with Black Women
organization that was founded by Joe Taka Edie. Those calls

(15:28):
have been happening, I believe, for the last four plus years,
and so this one most recently was, of course heavily publicized,
but those calls kind of happen on a weekly basis,
And so if you're looking to get involved with that organization,
we will share that information in the show notes. The
Instagram account is Win with Black Women. I believe there
will be future calls for you to get involved with

(15:50):
and marching orders. Right, so, what kinds of things can
you do in your local communities to actually get people
registered to vote, get people to the polls, and really
help to bring people into this election cycle because we
are desperately going to need it. But like I said,
you can do that when you are ready. Now we
don't have very much time. We only have one hundred

(16:12):
or so days before this election. But again, I do
want you to know that it is okay to kind
of sit with whatever you're feeling, like the shock and
the awe and the oh my goodness of it all.
If you are not at excitement, and even if you
never get to excitement, all of that is okay. And
so again, I think it is often our impulse to

(16:34):
kind of jump into action and just kind of do
do do, But I also want us to make space
to feel and to just sit with all the things
that are coming up for us at this time. So,
like I said, I didn't want this to be a
long episode. I just wanted to check in because I
have been feeling frazzled and imagine that many of you
were as well, and so I would love to hear

(16:56):
your feedback, to hear what kinds of things are you
doing to kind of shore yourself up, How are you
feeling kind of in the wake of this announcement. Are
there other ways that you know that we can get
involved so that we can do what we need to
do for the community when the time is right. So
please continue to share this episode with your friends. Be

(17:17):
sure to text it to two of your girls right
now so that they can also weigh in with their
other topics that you want to discuss or other guests
that you feel like we need to hear from right now.
Please send that to us. You can do that at
podcasts at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. I do hope
that you will continue to do what you need to

(17:38):
do to take care of yourself right now and to
take care of your loved ones, because that is critically important.
This episode was produced by Alice Ellis and Zaria Taylor.
Editing was done by Dennison Bradberd. If you're looking for
a therapist in your area, be sure to visit our
therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. And if

(17:59):
you want to can continuing these kinds of conversations or
just be in community with other sisters, which is so
important right now, you can come on over and join
us at community dot Therapy for BlackGirl dot com to
join us in the sister circle. Until next time, take
good care. What's
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