GECKMAIL: “I HAVE A FETISH FOR SICKNESS”

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hi, Welcome to gek Mail. For those who have
not listened to this before, this is me ranting and
reading viewer mail. It's a solo podcast. A lot of
podcasts are conversations between two people, but this particular episode

(00:20):
is a mon no log, it's a monologue. It's a
one log, one person. That person is me, and I'm
gonna try to make words come out of my mouth
for an hour based on emails that people are sending me.
Normally I take phone calls from people, but you know,

(00:43):
I like to throw in these little gek mail episodes
from now and then and just now, just now, I
was like, what the I'm gonna just fucking start recording
and I don't even know what I'm gonna say. I'm
just gonna have to rant. There's a like I'm having
a thought right now. That's like, oh my god, I
have to keep talking, just making words come out of

(01:06):
my mouth for the next ninety minutes. It's only been
like one minute, but I learned. But here's the thing.
When you're climbing a mountain, you can't be looking at
the peak. You gotta look at the your shoes. I
read that on Reddit somewhere I'm a crazy person. Okay,

(01:28):
all right, I am alive. I have escaped my existential
crisis for today. Who knows when demons will visit me
once more, But in this very moment, which is all
I have and all I know for sure, the demons
are at bay and I'm ready to motherfucking pod. So
let's do that. Let's talk to some people telepathically via email.

(01:55):
So let's do that. Okay, this first one, they said,
keep it anonymous, So I just I guess I could
just make up names for all the emailers, all right, whatever,
all right. The subject line is guys in relationships liking
thirst traps on Instagram. Uh okay, this person says, Hey, Geck,
please keep this email anonymous. How do you feel about

(02:18):
guys who are in relationships liking obvious thirst traps on
social media? Do you find that disrespectful towards their partner?
Social media has really blurred the line of flirting. If
a guy is taking a second to like a post
with sexual photos, it's an obvious I'm interested and I
like what I see point blank. I don't see why

(02:40):
some men don't see this as a problem when they're
in a serious relationship. What are your thoughts. I mean,
the funny thing, Well, here's the thing is, like, I
guess I'm curious if this person is talking about like
I'm gonna assume this person is talking about like Instagram
models and shit like I mean, I mean, Instagram just

(03:00):
throws porn at you. Life just throws porn at you,
as you, as you, as you, you, just constantly. I
mean maybe I don't know, maybe it's just me, maybe
it's my own algorithm, but yeah, that's that's that's I'm
sure a lot of people's algorithms. Is you go to
your explore page and it's just, uh, it's just thirst traps.
I get, like, look, it's Here's the funny thing is
that it's like obviously it's like natural and inherent to

(03:22):
like look at it, you know. But I guess what
I don't get is liking it. Like what's the point, Like,
what is the point? I mean, I guess what's the
point of of a like on anything? Now I'm getting nihilistic,
but like, yeah, if some lady is like an Instagram

(03:44):
model and she has a eight million likes on her photo,
I guess I don't I don't understand what the like
is I guess I don't understand. I mean I could
say that about a lot of things. To be honest,
I don't understand what there I mean some here's the thing,
Mark Zuckerberg and his his homies, uh created the like

(04:04):
in a lab with psychologists to make us feel inclined
to do it for some reason. But I mean, what
do I think? I don't see why some men don't
see this as a problem when they're in a serious relationship.
Relationship boundaries are are kind of like there's no I mean,

(04:25):
this is just my opinion is that like these are
things that are like worked towards with other people. So look,
if you're if you're dating somebody worked, you know, they're
they're they're they're imagine, they're imaginary. So I mean there's
some of them are obvious and implied. But it's like, look,
if you're with a guy and you don't want him

(04:51):
to like sexual photos on you know, wanting to like
Instagram models photos, you know, an ideal world, you tell
him that and he decides whether or not that you know,
that's a that's a deal breaker for him. And if
it is, then cool, you guys were meant to be
And if it's not then great. You know, I'm not
a good relationship advice person. This does remind me of

(05:16):
a I'm gonna tell this story. This is the fun.
This is one of the hardest times I've ever left
in my life. My I was with my friend and
we we were like, we were just hanging out and
we noticed that I think I I'm like friends with
my friend's dad on Facebook. And I was like, dude,

(05:39):
your dad commented on this. There's like these Okay, So
there was this like Facebook group and I think it
was called Beautiful Tits or something like that, and there
was like a hot lady who posted a photo and
it's like, you know, it's clearly not the lady's profile.
It's just like a post. It's like a it's like

(06:00):
a profile, uh that like just posts these kinds of photos.
And my friend's dad like commented on it, being like
where do you live? And I brought this up to
my friend and we were laughing about it, and we
Uh so, my my friend calls his dad and his

(06:22):
dad answers and he's like he's like, uh, He's like, Devin,
what do you want, I'm I'm his My friend's dad
is like a like a like a he's very into yoga,
and he was like, uh, Devan, what do you want.
I'm trying to teach a bun. I'm trying to teach
a class on how to become a beam of light.

(06:43):
This better be an emergency. And uh my friend Devan
is like, uh yeah, it actually is an emergency. And
he's like, so you know when you comment something on Facebook,
everyone can see it, right, And he goes and my
friend's dad goes, oh fuck, oh no, oh no, oh no,
oh no. And then we and then me and my
friend just we walk his dad through how to how to.

(07:05):
He's like, he's like, so you mean like your cousins
and like aunts, like they can all see that. And
I'm just laughing my ass off while my friend coaches
his dad on how to delete uh those Instagram comments.
And then eventually my friend's dad cools down and he's like, look,
I just wanted to know where that lady lived. She
was pretty hot, and I was like, I you know,

(07:27):
I respect that. All right? Moving on, all right. This
is from fish Hat subject line funny Gecko Man. Okay,
Hello Lyle. I am a fella who likes watching movies
and playing videos, and I'm gonna assume that means video games.

(07:47):
I am a fellow who likes watching movies and playing
video games and doing nothing. I just finished high school
and now I am in Uni. I haven't got a
driver's license or a job, so I just feel like
a lazy bum. Most of the time. I'm constantly rotting
in my room and watching slow I've got three friends
I hang out with, and I have only made two
friends in university. My course is filled with too many
odd people that I don't know how to interact with

(08:10):
because so many of them got weird Reddit humor, and
I don't know how to interact with those people anyway.
Any advice on how to make life more fulfilling, I'm
quite bored. I have a lot of thoughts about this.
I mean, look, at the end of the day, man,
it's like the the world I think like, in the

(08:38):
most part kind of reflects back whatever you put into it,
you know, and you also kind of like tend to
find what you're looking for. So if you're like, oh,
these people are weird and I'm not gonna get along
with them, well, then yeah, those people are weird and
you're not gonna get along with them. But if you're
kind of like all right, maybe, uh, by the way

(09:00):
you sound, by the way you're on your computer all
the time watching weird shit, I'm sure you're not you. You.
Here's the thing, fish hat is, you're too chronically online,
I think, to other yourself from from other chronically online people.
You know. I mean, I don't know. I don't know you,

(09:21):
but I don't know. I think. I mean, you just
gotta do shit, that's the thing. You just gotta do
things like what do you like? You're in university, You're
on a fucking walkable campus with thousands of other people.
I assume you gotta find something to do. I don't know, kickball, uh,

(09:44):
start a movie club? Yeah? Again, all this ship, all
this shit just reflects back whatever it is that you
you put into it. So I mean, you just gotta
do shit. I don't. I don't have a better I think.
I feel like I've talked about this a and by
the way, funny thing about this is a lesson I
keep having to relearn in my own personal life because

(10:05):
there's been plenty of times where I'm like, you know,
in my room, rotting and being like I'm just rotting
and you know, I've had I've had a lot of
iterations of things in my life where I have put
out into the world, whether it's like, you know, I mean,
just doing the fucking whole Gecko thing, or doing stand up,

(10:26):
or like going on a trip or fucking you know,
joining a club, or like joining an email list that
has events going on and going out like to a
thing or talking to someone I have talking like you
have to exert your like you have to like exert
yourself upon the universe, you know, because nothing, nothing will

(10:50):
just like come to you naturally. But that's but that's
kind of like by the way, I like that. I've
had had that thought and it scared me a lot.
You know, I've had that thought, and it's recently recently,
like in the last week actually, I had that thought,
the whole thought of like nobody's coming to save you.

(11:12):
And I had that thought at a time where like
during a like emotional period where I felt very physically weak,
and so the idea that nobody is coming to save
me was like kind of fucking terrifying because it's like, well,
if nobody's coming to save me, I know me, I
know how my executive functioning works. I know how my

(11:33):
brain works and my body works and all that shit,
and if I'm my only hope were fucked. You know,
I've had that thought and had it be depressing, right,
But I've also had that thought and had it be
the opposite where it's like, Okay, well, if no one's
coming to save me, that's good because I can look

(11:54):
at you know, there's like there's very e this is
a by the way, this is all just like armchair
philosophy shit that I'm just diarrheaing from my mouth because
I've been just thinking about it in my own life.
Is like, the actual actions that I think you have

(12:15):
to take to create some form of change are not
like crazy, like you don't have to climb Mount Everest
to make a friend. You know, they're they they're kind
of like I think there are interactions that are like

(12:35):
process wise quite simple, but like emotionally difficult and like
uh scary, you know, like talking to new people are
going out to do new shit. But it's it's a
good thing, right because if the whole idea of like, oh,

(12:56):
no one's coming to save you, and it's just just
if you looked because and the reason I say it's
a good thing is because if you looked into your
soul and you look at yourself in the mirror and
you were like, I have literally tried fucking everything, and
you know, God blessed. Some people can do that, and

(13:17):
they I don't haven't found a salvation of any kind.
But if you can, like look at yourself in the
mirror and honestly go, I can try everything, and most
I don't. I don't even think that's even physically possible,
because nobody can. Physically. There's not enough life, there's not
enough years in our life span to literally try everything.

(13:41):
But it's good because it means there's still It means
that there's probably still shit you haven't tried that might
work for you to make friends and enjoy your life.
And I'm gonna talk about a little thing. I'm going
a little crazy here, but I'm gonna tal about a
little thing called it's called the eighty twenty principle. I
think about it all the time. Hold on, I'm gonna
google this. It's called the Piratio principle. It changed my
fucking life. I learned about it from this guy Tim
Ferris back when I was in like high school, Okay.

(14:05):
The eighty twenty principle suggests that eighty percent of results
come from twenty percent of causes, which means that you
might think that the like making a bundant, making friends
and creating changes is like going to be this crazy endeavor,

(14:29):
but it might just mean changing like literally five percent
of your routine, you know, like you could like you
could do one really small, like even just like going out,
like for this guy in college, Like just go start
going to a club. How fucking easy is that? Take
your body and move it into a room once a week.

(14:52):
You know, it's not you don't have to or I
don't know, I don't know. These are just this is
just all This is just suggest and thoughts and philosophies
that I'm I'm kind of working through because yeah, I
have I have these same thoughts. But yeah, think about that.
The eighty twenty principle research that fucking shit, all right?

(15:14):
Eating eating warm? All right? This is from CJ subject
line eating warm versus cold meats? Hi GEK, I'm wondering
if you have an opinion on warm versus cold, as
in DELI meats warm versus COLDAI meats. My sister thinks
it's extra fucked up to eat cold meat because the
animal's body is warm, so it's creepier for humans to

(15:35):
kill them and then cool down their bodies before eating.
Hold on, there's more to this email. But to your
sister's point in terms of like the creepiness of like
eating a thing that was alive, I feel like the
opposite is creepy. Oh okay, wait, okay, okay, hold on,
I like my I skimmed the rest of this email

(15:57):
and it's okay. I'm gonna read the rest of the email,
screaking for them to. But I think eating worm eating
warm meat is weirder because it's closer to the experience
of taking a bite out of a living animal. I
love to eat a nice cold turkey sandwich. Thoughts. Thanksgk Okay,
I was about it agree. I was about to agree
with you before even knowing that we were on the
same page. But if we're talking strictly, uh, in terms

(16:22):
of like what's fucked up or like what's like creepy, Yeah,
it's definitely creepier to eat the warm one because it's like, oh,
this is like what the chicken's body, this is what
the chicken felt like. When it was still in the body.
But I don't really think about my meats in terms
of creepiness, in terms of just the pleasantness of eating them.

(16:44):
I'm gonna go warm, Yea, I'm gonna I'm gonna go warm.
I like my ass some some chicken parmesan sandwiches. I
was this is a dumb observation, but I always forget
that it's like a like a living thing. Any time
I eat chicken, I'm like, oh, yeah, this thing was
sort of conscious and then I now I'm eating it.

(17:09):
I've had that thought a bunch of time. I'm not
going I'm not going vegetarian. Don't please don't comment on
this being like you need to go vegetarian vegetarian because
I'm not doing it. Yeah. I mean, there's thoughts and
philosophies and beliefs and whatnot, and then there's like and
then there's the human brain that I have that's like,

(17:33):
I want to eat a fucking chicken parmesan sandwich, and
that usually whatever. I don't I don't know anything about
neuro jiz, but that part of that part of the
brain is gonna win. It's gonna win pretty much every time. Okay,
this is from Eli. Subject line, I have not watched
anything from you, Hey, Lyle. I have never watched a

(17:55):
single video of yours, listened to a single podcast, or
watched more more than a few clips from you. I
stay following, though, because I think you bring something special
to this blue ball that I'm compelled to keep my
eye on. I don't know exactly what that is, but
I know it's there. Have a good one, Lyle, sayonara here,
but that's hold on. If you follow me, you have

(18:16):
to have at least watched something you In the body
of the email, you just you the you contradict the
subject if you had said you have literally don't have
any idea of like you don't even know what this
email is and it was just whatever. Well, well, all right, well,
thank thanks for the thanks for the premonition, Eli, it's nice.

(18:39):
All right. This is from Simone uh okay. Subject line
is vosecto me for a PlayStation five couple from Uckland.
Hey Lyle, hope you're well wondering if you remember us
from your show at the Tuning Fork in Uckland, New Zealand,

(19:00):
couple of years ago. I remember that show. It was
a fun show. My partner Liam was the first guy
to be brought up, and our submission was trading a
PS five verb asectomy. Okay, I vaguely remember this. I'm
gonna I vaguely remember this, but I'm gonna fill in
the vagueness with context clues and say that you promised

(19:20):
that you would buy your partner a PlayStation five. We
got of a sectomy. Okay. We are now happily married.
Our one year wedding anniversary is in October. At the
wedding we had a picture of you, me and Liam
all together pulling peace signs printed and stuck up. That's cool,
God damn. However, for this submission, I will explain a
recent fight we had over a chair. Driving along in

(19:44):
Avondale parentheses a suburb of Uckland for all the non Ucklanders, which, okay, Evandale.
I spot a beautiful old chair on the side of
the road, bright yellow, my favorite color, wooden handles and
leg mid century modern design. We immediately pull over and
I claim this chair is mine. Liam is immediately not pleased.

(20:11):
To be fair, it is slightly tattered on the bottom
and in need of a sand, but perfectly fined after
a bit of tidying up, and I am an Avid
dia wire. The argument pertained to him feel like I
never let him pick up random things off the street. Okay,
I'm gonna assume is you're if the rest of this
email is gonna be hilarious to me, if your boy

(20:33):
Liam is like a taxi thermist, and by the way,
and I ever read the rest of the email, by
the way, if your boy Liam is a taxidermist, he's
fucking right. I don't know what the rest of his
email is, but he's fine. I'm just gonna I'm gonna
answer an email that you didn't send me based on
facts about your life that aren't true, because I want
to make this statement because it's because because whatever is

(20:55):
I think If I think Uh picks up furniture from
the street to fix it up, wife, and picks up
dead animals from the street to tax or demise them husband,
I think that's a fair thing. I think that's a
fair thing. I don't think that that's what this I

(21:18):
don't think that's the direction this email is going. But
oh my god, what if it is I was writing
on the last time. All right, let's see what direction
this email is going. Okay, he feels like I never
let him pick up random things off the street, and
the fact that we have a small place that is
already struggling with the amount of stuff we have. My
POV is this is a quality piece of furniture that
I will hold on to for years to come. These

(21:39):
kind of roadside finds are rare. We often dream about
having in our funiture. We often dream about having in
our future home a grandma and grandpa chair each in
the lounge, and this is to be my grandma chair. Bro,
how old are How old are you that you're like,
I mean, this is it's sweet. That's actually a sweet thought.

(22:00):
How old are you that you're like, this is the
chair I'm gonna be in when I'm ninety, by the way,
you're gonna by the way, by the what year is it,
twenty twenty five? Let's say you're no older than thirty.
I'm gonna assume by twenty eighty five. Holy shit, yeah,
by twenty eighty five. Wait, no, I'm an idiot. Ninety

(22:25):
How fucking old will I be when I in twenty
eighty five? Sixty? Let's say you're ninety, yeah, whatever, I'll
say you're ninety, I fight twenty eighty five. No, that
math is still wrong. No, twenty eighty five. Twenty eighty five.
They're the chairs that they're gonna have. Are you're gonna
hate them. We're gonna have chairs that like can talk

(22:47):
to you. I don't know why I said that, Like
it's cool whatever. Anyway, the fight is now over and
we've arranged the house and bargained the deal that Liam
gets to pick the couch we get in the future.
But what is your take on this fight? And more importantly,
whose side are you on? Look forward to coming and
seeing your next show in Uckland. Love and miss you.
Ghek cheers Simon and Liam. I gotta yeah, maybe I'll

(23:08):
do another. I want to do another down under run.
Uh Okay, what the fuck was I going to say?
I mean, I kind of get I kind of get it.
Here's the thing is, I don't have enough information about
his side of the argument. I although I'll say this
if if there has been yeah, actually, hold on, I'm

(23:31):
kind of if I have to fill in the blanks
on the information here, I'm going to say that I
agree with Liam because I'm gonna let's assume my boy
Liam like saw like an HD saw like he saw
like a TV on the side of the road and
he was like, babe, let's babe, stop, let's let's pick
up this TV. And you were like, no, We're not
picking up a TV from the side of the road, okay.

(23:52):
And then later down the drive you're like, oh, oh,
let's stop, let's pick up this chair, and we pick
up the chair, and I'm Liam, I would be pissed.
I would be like, what the fuck? You can just
pick up shit from the side of the road and
I can't. I still think maybe he's I still think
he wants to pick up dead animals from the street
and by and look, I if that's what he wants.

(24:14):
I I still I think that's fair. I think that's
fair if that's what he wants to do. So I
am I am on Liam's side, I think because I
don't really have my understanding is that he wants to
do the same. He wants to pick up furniture from
the street. But you can because you the furniture is
what you you like the furniture more. Yeah, I'm a mom.

(24:35):
I'm on his side. Let him bring home a dead
raccoon and then maybe you know, when he dies, he
can the technology will be around, so that he can
place his spirit in the raccoon and then you can
hang out with the raccoon. Okay, uh, let's let's keep going.

(24:59):
This is is from THEO subject line. I am obsessed
with Garfield. Hey, Lyle, I am probably autistic, and my
special interest is Garfield. I have an entire bookshelf in
my house dedicated to Garfield. I have a Garfield landline
that I won in an eBay bidding. Ward it's pretty cool.
I'll attach a picture of it. And he attached the

(25:20):
picture of his his Garfield phone. This is pretty cool.
Does is this the landline connected to anything? Okay? That's all.
Love you, God bless Alasagna. I really wish I could
talk to this person. There's a lot of times when
I'm doing the email podcast where I'm like, I wish
I could talk to this person because I want to know.
I don't know how autism works in the terms of
like picking the special interest and if it's like, like,

(25:45):
this is my special interest because it just is what
it is, or if like this guy can give me
a detailed, genuine explanation as to exactly why he likes
Garfield so much. I'm not I'm not sure but I
like this landline. Yeah, I'm gonna shadow at it. This

(26:06):
is YouTuber I like, I forget his fucking name, it's
Polygon something, but he does like cursed products and he
did it. He did a video about cursed Garfield products.
When you're having an existential crisis, there's really nothing better
to watch than like some fucking YouTube video of a
guy like talking about like Garfield plushies, because that's that,

(26:30):
because that guy in that video is so grounded in reality,
you know. Okay, this is okay. This is from Felix
Existential Career Crisis Need Gecko Wisdom. I'm gonna try my best, man,
I'm gonna try my best I don't know how, I
don't know. Yeah, I'm I'm gonna try whatever. Okay, let's

(26:51):
just try because we're here. Hay Lyle. I'm Felix twenty
eight industrial designer. For the past few years, I've been
bouncing between corporate jobs, hoping to land the right one
with a cool apartment, a partner, some recognition would finally
make the depression fade. Ooh okay, right now, I design

(27:14):
three D custom consoles and controllers for Triple A Game Studios.
That sounds cool, and then he writes it sounds cool,
and it kind of is. But the job pays less
than my last one and still leaves me with that
gnawing what's the point feeling? I smoke weed daily morning
tonight just to stay afloat. This past year has been rough.
I lost several people around me, and it cracks something open. Now.

(27:35):
I'm seriously considering leaving the big city, moving back to
the forest where I grew up, building a workshop, maybe
getting a dog, a simple life with low consumption and
minimal stress. But I've been in Montreal ten years. My girl,
my friends, my girlfriend who's doing her master's and wants
an academic career, they're all here. Part of me worries

(27:56):
I'll miss out on building something real for myself if
I drop out now. So should I lean into the
quiet life and say screw it to ambition or is
this just another escape patch from the work I still
need to do? Would love your take, Gecko. Ooh, you know, actually,
I'm actually have a lot of thoughts about this, and
they're all kind of dependent on a few things, and

(28:23):
as Actually that's funny. I think you know. I've been
doing the Gecko since I was twenty two and I'm
twenty seven now, and I think I probably would have
answered this differently then than I would now, because I
think then I would be like, yeah, go into the woods,
do you live your thing? Do go for it, brother,

(28:45):
But now I'm a little bit more like, Look, the
people in your life, like your girlfriend and your friends
and the people that you know in Montreal, are like

(29:05):
you know, I mean that that's the meaning of life
is the relationships that you cultivate with other people, and
those people ground you into reality. And it's like it's
like one of, if not the most important things, is
having fucking people around you who can ground you into reality.
Some people aren't like that. Some people would be super

(29:26):
happy living in the fucking woods alone. I'm not one
of them, and I don't know if you are one
of them, because I don't know you. I would prefer
to be in a big if you know, being in
a big city with a bunch of friends and a
girlfriend sounds great, but clearly you're like, are getting gnawed

(29:47):
by some shit that you gotta escape from smoking weed,
which I have no idea about. I've never done that before,
so I can't relate there. No, I'm just uh, I'm
just messing around. I can relate there. And let's see,
I'm gonna reread this email considering what I guess you

(30:11):
are building a workshop getting at a simple life with
low consumption, a minimal stress. Why do you have to
Here's what I'm with. Here's here's one of the points
that this email is making that I disagree with. Is
this idea that to achieve a simpler life with low
consumption and minimals well, there's a few things. Is like,

(30:36):
do you have to leave Montreal to achieve this, like
to make your depression fade. I've been doing a lot
of I've doing a lot of like research on depression.
Research used to me and you go to the library
and you read several books, and now it just means

(30:58):
you frantically google and talk to chat Gypt and go
on Reddit and sit and think. So I've been doing
whatever that means, if that means research, And I don't know,
if I don't know, if I don't know if I'm
telling you this not to say that it doesn't, because

(31:20):
I'm not sold on the fact that it doesn't. But
I wrestle you said, I hope I land the right thing,
and I wrestle with the idea that such a thing exists.
I low key thinking, I hold out hope for the
fact that that that like alignment is not a myth.

(31:42):
You know that everything's not just like random, and you
kind of pick I'm holding up hope that like alignment
is like a real fucking thing. But I don't know.
You want to build a workshop. What kind of workshop
do you want to build? You want to get a dog?
Why can't you like, can you not like can you

(32:03):
not find Why do you have to move to the
woods to find peace? I would I would ask yourself
for that, because you might not have to. I don't know.
I don't know enough about you to know kind of
what you want and what you're like, what the what
the underlying feelings beneath this are. But I mean, yeah,

(32:33):
you could get a dog. That sounds that sounds like
a lot of work. I don't know if this was help.
This isn't this, by the way, gak Mail. I don't
think gak Mail isn't really like me. I feel like
gak Mail is less me giving advice and more give
me your life. And I'm going to ponder about it

(32:54):
from an external perspective I'm not. I don't know if
I have advice I have I don't know if I
advice for any of these things. I'm not. I'm not
an advice guy. But I like to ponder, so I'm
gonna ponder you, Felix. My pondering, though, is telling me

(33:15):
that there's a weird like all or nothing thing going
on here of like, I can either stay in the
city or like, what is it? I can either? Like
it's like either why why is your only option abandoning
your life and moving to the woods. You know, men

(33:37):
will abandon their life and move to the woods before
going to therapy, and God and God don't I know
that firsthand? Okay, well, good luck, Felix. What what what?
What's the game studio? It does sound cool? Okay, let's
keep going. Oh, this one's fun. This is from Kendall's

(34:01):
subject line I'm good friends with the cave Man now, Hey, Lyle.
A while back, I listened to the Caveman episode while
sweeping at my dead end job and followed him when
you posted his Instagram. For those who aren't aware, I
had a phone call on the podcast month ago, a
few weeks ago with this guy who moved to the

(34:22):
Cayman Islands to go live in a cave, and I
posted his a clip of it on my Instagram along
with his Instagram, and so I guess this person like
became friends with him. That's cool. Okay, she uses his name,
so I'm not gonna say his name. I'm gonna give
him different name. Turns out, Devin has a totally great

(34:46):
taste in music. I replied to his story and we
called for an hour that day making playlists and Spotify blends.
Since then, it's been really amazing getting to know each other.
We've had a lot of talks and I cherish him deeply.
Thank you for doing what you do and letting me
meet my friend. That's really cool. Thanks for sharing that.
That's pretty cool. Let's read this email again. I I

(35:07):
really I want to like just set the expectations straight
about kind of what I'm doing here, because I don't
uh so, there are actually there are some things that
stick out at me where I'm like, I will confidently
give advice about that, but they don't. I mean, this
podcast is like, you know, everyone's talking about every different

(35:31):
subject of every different thing, and I too. And if
if you if you claim to have good advice about everything.
You're a fucking moron because nobody has good advice about everything.
So again, this is mainly just this is this is pondering.
It's ponder mail. Maybe maybe I'll start calling it ponder
mail all right? Anyway, Okay, this is from Jalen. Subject

(35:57):
line my fiance broke up with me because of my
eighth I'm interested in this because I've been doing a
lot of research aka talking to chat GPT, frantically googling,
and frantically looking around on Reddit and thinking to myself
in my own head. I've been doing a lot of
quote unquote research about adhd uh because I think I

(36:19):
think I have it. So anyway, I'll read this fucking email, Hi, Lyle,
I know it looks long by s why this is brief?
A number A year ago today, I moved States to
close the distance from my partner. I got an apartment
with my fiance and they proposed to me. Since then,
I've worked overnight at a monotonous mind theming job with

(36:40):
no one to talk to, making just a bit more
to cover my bills. I haven't had much chance to
meet friends. I've slowly become more depressed and my ADHD
symptoms have gotten much worse. My partner expressed their concerns
with me on how I had started lacking on giving
them the energy to show my appreciation and love for them. Ah.
I would have ideas for dates and want to get

(37:01):
them flowers and anything extra to show appreciation, but I
would always fail to follow through with it, feeling that
ADHD paralysis. Yeah, it took me until recently, when the
weather has gotten a bit better, to really get it
into my head and try to get on top of it.
I started to make a little bit of progress and
I scheduled therapy and medication treatment. The day before my evaluation,
my partner told me they had given me too much

(37:23):
of themselves. I made them feel like they weren't worth
me changing for them and their patients had run out.
They say they still love me, but that they need
to have energy for themselves, as they'd really lost many
aspects of their life trying to keep the relationship together.
And I could see it too. Getting a full diagnosis
the next day, I definitely have had ADHD my whole

(37:45):
life with massive symptoms, and many of them correlate to
why I couldn't keep up with life. Our least ends
in fall and at the same time, were both starting college.
I'm hoping to make friends there and work on myself
to try to get back with them. I love them
so much. I wait, hold on, let me backcheck this
are these sends in the fall? We're both starting college?
Are we sends in the fall? At the same time
we're both starting college? Wait? How old are You're? Not?

(38:07):
Like eighteen? Are you? Because anytime I only say this
because like, are you? Maybe it's like a grad school
or something, but I don't know what. I'm going to
assume that you're not just eighteen, because if you're eighteen
and you're getting married, and shit, you're already. This is
this whole thing is good. Our least ends in the

(38:31):
fall and at the same time, we're both starting college.
I'm helping to make friends there and work on myself
to try to get back with them. I love them
so much. I just hope I can get back on
track with my mental health and have the ability to
not only be a responsible adult, but give them the
love they deserved. I love the podcast People with the Computer.
Go buy your partner flowers. Go buy yourself flowers. You
deserve it. Okay, I have a bunch of thoughts about this. Uh.

(38:54):
First of all, and I'm telling you that this is
incredibly new because I actually, I literally you've caught me
on like the the You've caught me in the middle, Jalen.
You've caught me in the middle of me uh getting
my shit together with my ADHD. So again, let me

(39:16):
ponder this. First of all, I I mean you, I
think I think you're approaching this and actually a pretty
uh mature way. You know. That's fucking painful, dude, It's
really it's painful, uh, because I'm sure that when uh,

(39:36):
your fiance or whatever tells you that they still love you,
I'm sure they mean it. I'm sure they do love you.
There's they're all the fucking time. There are situations where
like you you you love somebody, but you know that
the relationship won't work. That's like a that's like a
very adult breakup. You know. It's not not every breakup

(40:02):
is like oh I hate them, or oh I'm out
of love with them, or like it's a messy thing.
A lot of fucking breakups are just like, you know,
two people share a deep love for each other and
deep connection with each other, but that deep love and
deep connection is incompatible with so many other aspects of
uh their life and their future and their goals, and

(40:22):
so they just fucking don't. You can't hack it. So
I get it, the whole thing. I I don't. I
here's the thing, Jalen. First of all, if you're like eighteen,
you just graduated from high school and you're starting college,
to please just please forget about this woman, you know
what I mean? Like, you're you have I don't. I

(40:43):
don't really know where you are in your life with
this shit. But if you have a lease, I assume
you're like. But if you're your lease ends in the
you've got an apartment with your fiance and you're moving states,
you've got to be older than eighteen or maybe like nineteen.
I don't know. I don't know. I could see you

(41:05):
being older than eighteen, but younger than twenty. The fact
that you're starting college you're pretty young, So I you
know what you know? All right? Fine, I'll do advice,
although well, okay, maybe this isn't advice. It's the results
of my pondering. The results of my pondering are that,

(41:31):
oh fuck, can you guys hear that there's a lawnmower.
Do you guys hear that lawnmower? I don't know who
I'm not live, I don't know who I'm talking to
this about. By the time I get the answer of
whether or not you guys could hear that lawnmower, this
podcast will already be up and I won't be able
to do anything about it. But let me know in
the comments if you could hear that lawnmower, just so

(41:51):
I know for the future not to also not do
anything about it and just put it in the podcast. Okay.
The results of my pondering are that I, Jalen, I
understand that you're very young, probably and you very much
love this person, but like ideally you want to get better.

(42:16):
First of all, I believe that you can get better
and that you can like take control of your ADHD
and like build a fulfilling life. I most of my
my you know, my I have AHD, most of my
very successful most of my friends who are like very
successful also have like pretty fucking crazy ADHD. Can you

(42:39):
guys hear this lawnmower? Or am my insane? I'm gonna assume
you can't hear it because it's far away. But a
microphone is like ears, so if I can hear something,
then the okay, anyway, I'm gonna be optimistic for you
that you can like overcome ADHD symptoms, you know, especially

(43:00):
if you haven't. Okay, Yeah, I started to make a
little bit of progress. I scheduled therapy and medication treatment. Okay,
sick because he's if you've never done that before, that's
actually great because it means that you can figure out.
It means that, like, this is an untreated thing that

(43:21):
you're now gonna put effort into figuring out, which is great.
So I may, I hope, make the fucking uh, but
make it about Make it about yourself, man, Not like
this lady, because who knows what this lady's about to
go do? Who? Who knows who? Who? Who knows this lady?

(43:42):
This lady is moving on with her life. She has
this feeling where she's like, I have spent a lot
of time and energy. Uh, I've put a lot of
time and energy into this guy. Uh, And she did
that big. She loves you and loved you and probably

(44:03):
still does. Honestly, it was probably hard for her, but
she can't do it. But she also loves herself and
she can't uh do it anymore, you know, so she's
she's going on to make whatever decisions are, you know,
work for her. So, uh, the results of my pondering

(44:25):
are that you kind of got to do the same
thing for yourself. Like you know, you're get you're gonna
get your You're trying to get your shit. You're trying
to get your shit together because you want your shit together,
not because you want to get this lady back. I also,
I also really truly feel like you're like super fucking young,

(44:47):
and that this you're you, you're better, honestly, dude, Honestly,
if you're like if you're like twenty one and you're
like and if you're twenty one, if you're if I'm
gonna guess whatever, maybe like twenty if you're like twenty
one and your fiance broke up with you because of

(45:09):
your ADHD, and and this is the catalyst of like
getting your ADHD shit under control. This is like the
best thing that could ever happen to you. I think,
you know, having a catalyst to be like, oh, yeah,
there was a problem this whole time, and I need
to fix it. So this could be a great thing.

(45:30):
That's I mean, I don't I'm saying that many miles
away reading this email without being in the emotions of it.
But maybe that maybe that's the perspective you want. Maybe
you want the perspective of somebody reading this with no emotions,
without you know, having being in the emotions of it.
But yeah, that's that's what I think about all that shit. Wow,

(45:51):
it's been forty six minutes. We're still and we're going.
We're potting, We're potting it up. Let's see here. Okay,
this is a confession for therapy Gecko parentheses. I promise
I'm normal. Hey, GEK, huge fan. I listen and re

(46:15):
listen to your podcasts so often. Thank you for what
you do. Thank you, Ross. This guy's name is Ross.
I would appreciate some advice on a rather unique issue
I've been experiencing. I will ponder your issue. I don't
know if I can advise it, but I will ponder it.
I am a twenty six year old man, and I

(46:37):
have developed a rather unique fetish. I have a fetish
for when girls are sick with cold or flu. What
the fuck, man, I've never I've never heard of that
in my life. I feel like, you know, I've been

(47:03):
on the you know, besides just doing this podcast, I've
browsed the internet for many wasted hours, and yet this
is the first time I'm hearing of this fetish. Okay,
I have a fetish for when girls are sick with
cold slash flu. This is, for the most part, been
relatively healthy for me, as I have always been able

(47:24):
to find women who are willing to indulge this ridiculous desire. Dude,
what does that mean? What the fuck does that mean?
Does that are you like? Are you like like? Are
these like? Are you convincing women to like intentionally get

(47:45):
sick for you? Now that I am single, I have
found that my fetishistic nature has been leading to other
problems in my life. In the bedroom, asking the women
I've been with to sniff or rub their nose has
never been a major issue because, of course, this is
a very easy thing to do. Okay, So you're this
is okay, So you all right, okay, all right, this

(48:07):
is less uh weird than I thought that You're you
want women to act as if they have a coal
and like like fake sneeze and fake cough. Can you
fake cough? Can you fake cough. You can only really

(48:28):
real cough. You can go chew. How do you fake snees?
But you can't fake cough. I still coughed, even though
I mean, you can cough intentionally, but you can't like
fake a cough. Okay, blah blah blah blah blah uh
in the bedroom asking the women I've been with to

(48:49):
sniffer rub their nose. It has ever been a major issue, because,
of course this is very easy to do, and my
enthusiasm for seeing that usually leads to better sex for
us both. But I have began to experience some issues
with it outside of the bedroom. Now. Whenever I am
with a woman who has a cold, I instinctively become

(49:10):
overly affectionate, offering to help them with things, complimenting them, etc.
But the moment they're well again, this altruism goes away.
This ridiculous fault in my brain has been causing a
lot of stress, because, as funny as it may sound,
it's incredibly frustrating to become temporarily infatuated with people you

(49:30):
barely know, just because they happen to be unwell. I
meditate and exercise and avoid porn, and avoid porn to
manage this ridiculous fetish. But I was wondering if the
gek himself could give me some advice. Well, this one
definitely is a ponderer more than an advisor, I cure.

(49:53):
I wish we could talk on the phone. You got
to call into the podcast because there's so many more
questions I have about this temporary Well here's it. I'm
temporarily infatuated with people I barely know. Why are you?
I in what situations are you with people who you

(50:17):
barely know who are also sick? Because you in most
situations where you're with people, most of the situations where
you would be around people that you barely know are
situations where people who are sick avoid. So is I mean,
is this like is it like ladies who are like

(50:39):
on Tinder or something and you like they're they're sick,
but they meet up with you anyway. I have no
advice for this at all. This is this is I
appreciate the vulnerability that you have in sharing this. It's advice. No,
I the whole like having like a you know, it's

(51:03):
weird like these these are you don't control. I empathize
with you on this like thing of like you don't.
You don't really control what you're attracted to. That's that's
the thing. You don't have control. So if you're like,
fucking if this is your thing and you're like, I
am just attray. I find women who have a cold

(51:25):
or flu attractive. That's just this is just something I
think you were just cursed with. I don't know if
you can beat it. I'm not an expert on these things.
There's people who are like like sex fetish therapist people.

(51:45):
I mean, go talk to one of them, because I
don't know. I don't know if like fetishes can be
beaten or like, uh controlled. Most of the time they're
just surrendered to. So yeah, I don't know this. Go
talk to like a sex therapist or some shit. Maybe

(52:06):
they could give you, Maybe they could give you a
real perspective on this. I wish I had a joke.
Let me think, Let me think of a joke, something
about like a sneeze is as good as an orgasm?

(52:29):
Do I wish? I wish I had jokes. I don't
have many jokes. I'll try, I'll try. I'll come up
with jokes later. Okay, all right, okay, uh This is
from Marco subject line chat gpt as a therapist. Hey, ghek,
I started using chat scheapt as a therapist. It's actually

(52:51):
working pretty well. The worst part I had with therapy
was actually doing the stuff that we talked about. With
chat cheapt, I can go back and read the output
to get motivated again. I can use it anytime I want,
and it's free. Did you ever try it? Thanks Marco?
So Okay, first of all, I actually, like, okay, before

(53:13):
hold on, I'm gonna get into an argument with myself
about like we all fucking know the whole uh uh,
you know, like pros and cons of AI type of shit.
But on a personal level, me Lyle, I, I use
chat gpt uh for this kind of shit all the time.

(53:35):
I do. Like what I do is I journal and
then I copy and paste it into chat geapt and
then chatchapt like kind of spits back reflections to me.
And I know, I know it's like a controversial practice
and I'm I don't have thoughts about that, but I
do I do personally. I personally I do this, you know,

(53:56):
I do this like I use it every day. I
use it, you know, I wasalking about like you know
with like uh uh like like I'm trying to work
on like ADHD shit, and so I'll be talking to
it and I'll be like, you know, I have like
an actual psycho. You know, you should like you should
have an actual psychiatrist. You should have an actual therapist.

(54:17):
You shouldn't like chatchept, shouldn't like be replacing these things.
And by the way, by the way, just to like, uh,
these are just expressions of how I'm living my own life.
These are not endorsements of like, uh uh well, I
did do an ad read for chatchept, which I guess
is literally an endorsement, But I mean, I I fuck,

(54:39):
I do I do endorse I like chatche using. I
like chatchept as a therapist. Fucking I'm gonna just say
I like it as a therapist. I use it as
a therapist. I get why people are freaked out. But
here's the fucking thing, man, here's the fucking thing. It
is like p people like, real therapy is just so

(55:03):
goddamn like, there's ways to get it. There's ways to
get it. If you're like financially struggling, there's shit like
going to there's shit like going to uh like a
like a college campus or whatever. And you can like

(55:24):
work with psych students. There's probably clinics that will help
you for free. But oh but like overall, uh, it's
really hard for a lot of people to get therapy
without having to pay. Like I mean, god, damn dude
in New York City a therapist, but that insurance is

(55:44):
like two hundred and twenty dollars for like forty five minutes.
Like it's it's it's insane. And not only that is
like you when you schedule an appointment, like you can
be like in a like you can be in like
a crazy like like like can you get like like
you get me going crazy? Right? And you'd be like,
I need to fucking talk to someone right now. And

(56:05):
so you call a therapist and they're like, all right,
I had I can schedule you in in two weeks,
and I'm like, bitch, I'm fucking going crazy right now.
I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna thinking two weeks.
I don't know how about feel in two weeks. That's
a different guy. This guy right now needs to you know.
And so look for me personally, I like this is

(56:28):
just this is purely an expression of my own life
and why I like the tool is. You can use
it anytime you want. You can use it at three
o'clock in the morning. It's free. And I like what
it has to I like what it tells me. It

(56:49):
tells and I'm like and I and I say, shit, like, dude,
can you explain this to me from like a brain
chemical perspective? You know? Can you give me like offs
to read up on who who philosophy wise could help
me with that? Like it it's it's it's a good
it's a good tool for this. I don't look, look,

(57:11):
I have no idea what some people are like, don't
ever put anything personal in it, because who knows where
it's going. And I guess I guess, yeah, it's being
used to train the thing. But uh, this is just
again an expression of how the tool has genuinely personally

(57:32):
been very helpful to me in my life and apparently
into the life of this this uh emailer. But yeah,
I think it's I think it should be like supplementary.
I don't think you should like use it to replace
a therapist. But it works well. I mean, like here,

(57:53):
let me go to my fucking chatchy BT shit, what
did I just do? Also, I don't know. Part of
me is like like yeah, like I'll fucking be like, yeah,
I use it. I use it a lot for like
helping me with my Like like today I was like,

(58:15):
can you recommend me? I kind of I kind of
use it. The way the chat cept is kind of becoming.
It's becoming like the new Google search. It's kind of
the evolution of the of the Google search where I'm like,
you know, tell me about this thing where normally people
would just take their whole question and throw it into

(58:40):
and throw it into Google, where it's like now they
can do it into chat chaput and it kind of goes,
uh goes into like you know, searches for shit. Anyway,
that's just that, that's just my experience and apparently this
guy's experien PS. I have a loud stomping upstairs and neighbor.

(59:04):
How should I resolve that? Ask them politely to stop
doing that? Okay, all right, this is from Kayla. Uh
there's no subject. Hey, Gek, I just wanted to say

(59:25):
I'm such a fan of your show and happy I
found it. I recently got into the dental hygiene program. Previously,
my advisor said how I was wasn't not going to
get in the Previously my advisor said, how I okay,
I'm gona assume this is a TYPEO. Previously my advisor said,
how I was not going to get into the program
for three to five years. So this is such a

(59:46):
huge change of plans for me. I have a trip
scheduled for this October to go to Maine. I don't
want to cancel, and I mean some of the stuff
I have already paid for is refundable, is unrefundable. The
program is super competitive and overall hard. Is it bad?
I still want to go on this week long trip
and bite the bullet? Or should I call it off? Dude?

(01:00:07):
Not wanting to fall behind. I haven't been on vacation
in so long, and not getting and getting not the
program was deaf not in my Okay, well, there's a
bunch of spelling errors in this or not typos. Okay,
I haven't been on a vacation in so long and
getting the program was deaf. Not on my list of things.
Very grateful it is there, though, But should I stay
or should I go? Oh? You should probably uh, you

(01:00:35):
should probably not go to man, I'm gonna that's yeah,
that's that's the result of my pondering is that if
you just got into a fucking thing that is super
competitive that you've been dying to go go into, I
do not think. Yeah, I think I think falling behind
for a week is not a good idea. I mean,

(01:00:58):
you can always do that, you can always do the
trip later, I would say, but I think it's would
be good to prioritize doing the program, especially because the
trip is like a very like short term thing and
you'll always be able to take more trips. This is
my thought about your life. Um let's see, this is

(01:01:25):
from Simon. Hey, Lyle, my name is Simon. Feel free
to give me any name you want. Okay, I'm gonna
call you Simon. The subject line is I keep being
disappointed by women with daddy issues. Okay. I'm a French
guy into arts and music. Love your expo idea, by

(01:01:47):
the way, thank you, And I keep having problem with
my relationships lately. Should I read this in a French accent? No? Sorry,
I'm gonna dump my boring life, but I feel like
you could help me out. I can ponder you, Simon.
I will ponder your situation. Okay. Well, oh, it's been
an hour already. Look at that. Well, to get straight

(01:02:08):
to it. In my love life, I tend to end
up with more alternative kind of women, since I'm kind
of alternative myself, but having somewhat of a fatherly figure
by being a bigger guy with a movie dad bod,
kind of fat, kind of buff, and by being very
caring and nice with a thick beard. Okay, so you

(01:02:28):
have a fatherly vibe, is what you're telling me? Okay,
all of that to say, I literally only dated girls
with daddy issues and it always ended poorly. Where I
need help is that the only relationship I've been in
was with my first girlfriend, which was four years ago,
and I keep stumbling on her. She doesn't recognize me

(01:02:49):
since I changed a lot physically, but I feel like
if I had another chance with her, I would end up. Well,
should I respect her and leave her bee? Or should
I try to talk to her and see if I
can have another chance with her? Well, I mean, you
keep What do you mean by you keep stumbling on

(01:03:09):
her and she doesn't recognize you? What is that? Does it?
When you say stumbling on her? Is that like like
her shit comes up? Like in your like social media
feeds or like, because if she if you're saying she
doesn't recognize you, that means you guys have talked enough
for her to say that, Bro, it's worth a hail Mary.

(01:03:31):
What And let's unless if she like and let's unless
if she was like unless if like when you guys
broke up, she was like, never talk to me ever again,
I don't really I don't know where this and I
don't know where this relationship ended or how it ended.
But if it didn't end in like a horrible way,
there's no harm in having a conversation, right if it

(01:03:57):
didn't end in a horrible way, know, fucking go for
a go for a hail Mary, I mean, don't. I mean, look,
I think maybe not a hail Mary in the sense
of like, I've always been in love with you and
I can't live without you, and you know, hell Mary,
and like you know, Hey, how you doing? What's up?
You want to talk on the phone, like what you've
been up to? Like you like you like? I think
it's very I think it's again, unless if she was

(01:04:19):
like never talked to me ever again, I think it's fair,
uh to just initiate like a normal ass conversation. Why
not What does daddy issues mean? Does it just mean
like she had a poor relationship with her dad or
she just likes you know, I feel like, well, I

(01:04:41):
feel like, uh, don't women in general like kind of
like the daddy or like the like the fatherly arch like.
I mean, women in general, I think are like just
attracted to like competence, you know. So maybe it's just
like you're, you know, you're you're a nice competent guy.

(01:05:04):
I don't know, but yeah, fucking dear thing, go throw
a hail mary. Why not? All right, let's see? Uh
but yeah again with that hail Mary, don't be like, hey,
wid you up, but just be like, hey, how you been?
Can we talk? I just want to see how you're doing.

(01:05:25):
See if it maybe naturally evolves from there, I suppose. Uh. Okay.
This is from Laura subject line shrooms and the delusion
that I'm incredibly interesting lyle. In my day to day life,
I mostly keep to myself. But on Shrooms I become
violently convinced that the world would benefit from a ten

(01:05:50):
part docuseries about my life, and not because of any
trauma or triumph or character arc. I mean the monotony,
like how I organize my spice drawer. I live a
very regular existence that everyone on earth can relate to.
But I get this deeply persuasive feeling that if I
could just explain myself well enough, people would be fascinated

(01:06:12):
by me and I by them. Sure, I go down
the usual rabbit holes about how we're all connected and
life is amazing, YadA, YadA. But I also believe I
could talk about how I store my cereal or how
I avoid making eye contact with mannequins, and the world
would lean in like I'm giving a ted talk. I
also get weirdly emotional about handmade and thrifted things, like

(01:06:33):
I'll stare at a vintage mug and think about the
entire life it lived before ending up in my room.
The craftsmanship, the stories, the tragedy of being microwaves safe
yet so emotionally fragile. I spiral. So is this narcissism?
Is it the mushrooms? Is it just being a person
in the Internet era? Anyway? Thought I'd ask a lizard

(01:06:55):
spiritually yours, Laura M I have. I have a lot
of ponders on this. Uh. First of all, no, you're
not an artist. All right, I'm gonna get I'm gonna
get like a little woo woo kind of I'm gonna
get like a little bit woo woo. And I'm trying
not to get too woo woo because I don't want to. Like,
I don't know, but I mean I think there is.

(01:07:19):
I mean, human beings. Ye okay, I'm gonna get woo woo.
Human beings contain this kind of innate, uh you know,
creativity within them just by nature of like we all
are are, like we all are. We know, two people
have the exact same experience, even if, like you know,

(01:07:41):
if they're fucking conjoined twins, they're still looking at it
from a physically a different perspective because they're not sharing eyes. Right,
So I think people have like an innate desire to
share of themselves. Whether that and whether you have the
innate desire to share of yourself by just like telling

(01:08:02):
a friend about your day or by you know, creating
some kind of art centered around your life experience. And
you can really talk yourself out of doing it. And
I've done this to myself or a lot. I've done
this to myself a lot. You can talk yourself out
of doing it by saying that you're not interesting. But
I don't know what's the point of that, right, what's

(01:08:24):
the point of that? I mean, even just reading this email,
this is a nicely written email, Like, no, it's not mark.
You're not a narcissist for wanting to create or wanting
to I typically think narcissism. Narcissism is kind of like,

(01:08:45):
I don't know why am I sitting here pretending like
I know what narcissism? Let me google it? What really
is narcism? Because that word kind of gets thrown around
all the time. Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by
an excessive sense of self importance, need for admiration, and
a lack of empathy for others. I think that, Uh No,

(01:09:12):
I don't think it's like narcissistic to want to express yourself.
I think it's like pretty inherently human. And I'm not
reading this is I'm not reading in you being a narcissist.
I'm reading that you just want to express yourself good,
become you know, become convinced that the world would benefit

(01:09:33):
from what you have to say. Why the fuck not?
That doesn't that doesn't that I can't see a universe
where that's a bad thing, right, I mean, I think
it only it's only become an only it was a
bad thing if you like. Self importance is not like
self importance and self esteem is not like I am

(01:09:54):
so much better than everyone else and I am awesome
and what I have to say is the most important
thing ever. But it is like, like I think, I
think like healthy self esteem is probably something of like
I am confident that I am a human being of value.
I am confident that I matter and the things I

(01:10:15):
have to say matter, and you know, uh uh, and
that confidence can complete this can completely coexist with also
other people matter. Also what other people have to say
is important. And you don't have to believe, by the way,
you don't have to believe that every single person is

(01:10:35):
important or that every single thing that everyone has to
say is important, because that's that's an unrealistic belief to hold.
But uh, I don't know, I don't know. This is man,
this is like super this is super like therapy fucking bullshit.
But it's like you, you are a person. So when

(01:10:57):
you like if a friend came to you and was like, hey,
I have this idea to do this thing, and you
were like, you were like, Nah, that's stupid. Nobody gives
a fuck what you have to say, and you're just
kind of being a narcissist. So you shouldn't write a book,
and you shouldn't make a thing. You'd be a fucking asshole,
You'd be a you'd be a dick. Right, So when

(01:11:18):
you do that to yourself, you're just being a dick
to yourself. Damn, that makes perfect sense. People have been
saying that a lot throughout to me, throughout my life,
and it's clicking. It's starting to click a little bit.
It's honestly clicking with me a little bit as I'm
talking about it. This is not an original by the way,
These are not original thoughts. These are ponders that are

(01:11:39):
just kind of clicking clicking to me. Um, you know anyway, Uh,
you should do so, go make a make a fucking TikTok.
Why not write a book? Do something? You don't have
a ten part docuseries? Make a ten part docuseries on
your phone and your room, on your computer that used

(01:11:59):
to write this email. Yeah, do so. I mean there's
the we live in We live in a world where
it's easier than ever to express yourself to the masses,
So uh, take advantage of that for whatever the fuck
it's worth. Before. No, I'm not gonna be a doomer.
I'm not gonna end that with a doomer perspective. But

(01:12:20):
uh yeah, go go do a thing. Also, a lot
of the boring, you know, boring things are good to
talk about because they're like most of life is kind
of boring. So I mean, yeah, talk about how you
store your cereal. Someone will find it interesting. Everyone's crazy,

(01:12:41):
all right, Sorry, um, let's keep going. All right. This
is from K Dog, subject line some words about seeing
you in Portland and traveling to Japan. Hello, mister Gecko man.
My name is Kdog, and I am being so brave

(01:13:03):
and sending you some words for gekmel because I think
about calling you a decent amount, but I get phone
call stage right about it. I've seen you twice in
person in Portland and met you both times after the show.
Both of the pictures I have with you are not great,
so I need you to come back so we can
try again. Okay, I'm gonna try to do that. The
last time you were in town, I went to your
share with my ex and they were an evil manipulator

(01:13:24):
and I should have taken someone else. I hope that
the guy you talked to on stage who was saying
something about hooking up with his ex's friends or sister
or something whoeveryone in the crowd hated got broken up
with by his girlfriend that was with him there. I won't, Okay,
I'm trying to remember that I really want to go
to Japan next year, and I love to know what

(01:13:45):
your recommendations are for things to see, especially if it's
something I couldn't find out from a Google search about
the best things to see in Japan? Do you think
I would be safe to just go by myself as
a woman. I'm tired of waiting for one of my
friends to be able to afford traveling so I can
have a try rappl buddy, leve you k dog. Umm,
here's the thing, I don't really I I don't really

(01:14:08):
want to answer the do you think I would be
safe to go by myself to Japan as a woman,
because I have never gone to myself by Japan as
a woman. Uh So I'm not, like, you know, I
don't really I don't want to like speak from that
perspective that I do not have. But I will say that, uh,

(01:14:28):
I'll say this, Japan is like the safest fucking place
that I've ever been. It's it's I think it's consistently ranked.
I think Tokyo is like consistently ranked as like one
of the safest. Let me, let me actually google this
is Tokyo the safeest city in the world. Tokyo is. Yeah,

(01:14:50):
Tokyo is generally considered one of the safest cities in
the world. There is there's a huge culture of safety
and security. There's no there's really like no crime ime,
there's not there's really like not a lot of poverty.
It's like it's like a incredibly I can't again, I
don't have the I don't have the uh equipment to

(01:15:12):
speak about specifically, like the you know, going there alone
as a woman, but like in general, it's like the
safest place I've ever been. I don't have recommendations for
things to see. I just go just go to the
What I would do is I would just write down
there's a lot of neighborhoods that you should just walk
around in. You know, there's a Soaksa, there's a Kiabara

(01:15:34):
there's Shibuya, there's Shinjuku, there's kabuuk Cho. Uh yeah, just
go to all those fucking places and just walk around
figure shit out. It's awesome. I have a fun time, man,
spam Rocks, And good on you for going by yourself
if you've never if you have a place you really
fucking want to go to and you can afford to

(01:15:55):
go and you can make it and your friends don't
just fucking go. You know I'm with you on that. Okay, Um,
all right, let me do a couple few more. My
grandma has a crush on a football player. Hello. My
dad and I are fans of a certain football team
that just recently got good, and my grandma was intrigued

(01:16:16):
by her excitement. She doesn't understand the game at all,
but when I taught her about some of the players,
she caught feelings for one of them in particular. Her
passion is now greater than my dad's and mine combined.
I think it's cute and hilarious, but I also don't
live with my family anymore. Where my dad is subjecting her.
It's subjected to her asking the same football questions every day,
and it's taking a toll on him. Is there anything

(01:16:37):
I can do to help my dad's sanity? Wait a minute,
your dad is going insane because his mom is asking
him questions about football. You know what, man, Look, we
have no idea how long we have with our parents.
We have no idea. We have no idea how long

(01:16:58):
we have with our parents. We have no idea how
long we have with any fucking thing or any fucking
one in our fucking lives. So any stupid, non malicious
interaction that you can have with people that you like
is good. Sorry, I'm giving you too existential of an answer,
but that's where my head is at right now. So

(01:17:19):
that's that's what I got in my pondering. All right,
I can do a few more, let's see, all right.
Gek mail, Hey Ghek. My name is Steven. I am
thirty four years old and work as a truck driver
for Wugmans. I'm writing to you because lately I have
been feeling like I am just wasting my life away.

(01:17:40):
I wake up, go to work, come home, watch some TV,
and go to bed. Every day, even on my days off,
I just feel like a couch potato and do little
to nothing because I don't know how to be productive
with my time? Is there anything you do to keep
yourself productive when you're not podcasting? Thanks for what you do, Steven.
You know it's funny, man. I this is a lot

(01:18:02):
of what I've kind of been thinking about with my
existential crisis, and a lot of like the concept of
quote unquote wasting time and like you know, like life
optimization and shit like that. I can't really answer the
question of what would be productive with your time. I'm

(01:18:25):
coming around to the idea I'm coming. I used to not.
I'm coming around to the idea that like there's inherent
value in productivity in simply existing. I'm lately coming I'm not.

(01:18:45):
I'm not. I've been thinking about that a lot. I've
been presenting that as my as an idea to myself,
that there's just inherent value and productivity in existing on earth,
because if you're like a nihilist and you're like nothing

(01:19:05):
really matters, then just existing is like good enough. Which again,
it's like you could look at you could take a
fucking nihilist thing and be like, you could run with
it in a very negative direction, but you could really
run with it in a positive direction and be like

(01:19:27):
you know, just existing is productive. But okay, that's again,
that's an existential thing, and I want to get into
what I what I think, I really feel. That's just
an idea. That's just an idea that is answering me.
What I really feel, honestly at this point is like
the problem I have with the just existing is enough,

(01:19:49):
or the the problem I have with the whole idea
of like just existing is enough and like you are
enough is this thing of like if somebody, if you're
like unhappy and you're restless and you're sad and you're
miserable and blah blah blah, and somebody tells you, well,
you're enough, that feels like shit because if I'm so enough,

(01:20:09):
why am I miserable? You know? So that's that's the
catch twenty two of just existing is enough. And that's
kind of the problem I have with that argument. But
it's coming into my head and I'm entertaining it and
thinking about it. But okay, back to you, Stephen, I

(01:20:29):
do the whole idea of like I do nothing because
I don't know how to be productive with my time.
It depends on what your goals and your values are
and what you want out of life based on what
your experience has been thus far, you know, and I can't,
and so I guess not advice pondering. My pondering about you,

(01:20:57):
Steven is just like think about your like what do
you want? What you want? Like, do you want to
have more fulfilling relationships? Well, then okay. Productivity would look
like do you taking action on things that would put
you in places where you can make more connections with

(01:21:18):
more people? You know? Do you want more money? Okay?
Then being productive would be, you know, trying to figure
out how to make more money by like fucking looking
at what jobs you can do, or what schooling you
can get, or maybe a business that you could start

(01:21:39):
or something like that. You know. Do you just want
to be physically healthy? You know you can be productive
by eating better? You know? Yeah, the whole like like
this this email kind of I guess h presents productivity?
Is this like objective thing? When it is kind of subjective?

(01:22:06):
Although it's weird because if you if you ask someone
why they're doing something, and then you keep going and
you're like, well, why are you doing this? Well because this?
Well why that? Well, why why that? It goes to
a it kind of goes to a It kind of
brings it kind of brings me to a full circle
of the just existing is enough thing. But that's a

(01:22:26):
bunch of woo woo. But that's a bunch of woo
woo bullshit. I'm in I'm entertaining the idea of of that.
But it strikes me a little bit as some woo
woole bullshit, because, Uh, as a human being, we're endowed
with like consciousness and the ability to you know, identify

(01:22:48):
whatever tools are at our disposal, however maximal or minimal
they are, and go, huh, how can I use these
tools to like to do something new and get out
of the rut? You know? And I and I and
I think that that's good. But I'm still entertaining the

(01:23:10):
idea of enoughness. I'm still I've been thinking about it. Yeah,
that's my ponder about your life, Steven. Okay, let's see
an hour and twenty five. Let's let's make it to
an hour and a half. Let's make this a nice, juicy,
nice juiced up gek male uh let's see uh okay,

(01:23:45):
uh this is from no. Let's not do this, Let's
not do that one. Let's do Let's do something something chill.
Let's do just find something chill to do. Uh? Okay,
all right, This is from Dylan Uh subject line marijuana

(01:24:09):
and music. Dylan says, hello, my green friend. I recently
got out of the army, so I tried weed and
loved it. Or recently I discovered Pantera, Metallica and Pink Floyd.
That ship elevates me and makes me want to run
through a wall. That's the whole email. Is that good

(01:24:33):
to want to run through a wall? Is wanting to
run through a wall a good thing? Or is that?
Is that like a superman thing, like a powerful thing?
I mean, yeah, smoking weed and listening to music is
pretty awesome. I'm we talk about weed all the fucking

(01:24:53):
time on this podcast and sometimes and I weed weed
is a two. Lately I think we'd uh. I I
don't know. I don't know how I feel about weed.
I don't know if it's destroying me or my My
brain is in a bit of a fragile state and

(01:25:14):
I'm always trying to solve for X on my own,
you know, mental stability, and I don't know where weed
uh fits in that. But I can say, over the
course of my life I've had a lot of awesome

(01:25:36):
times smoking weed. I've had a lot, I've had a
lot of I've had a lot of times smoking weed
where I'm like this sucks, I'm never gonna do this again,
and then a lot of times where I'm like, Wow,
this is fucking awesome. I love doing this. Say with that,
do with that what you will? Okay, let's do okay,

(01:25:57):
uh I'm okay. This is from EJ subject line I'm
playing all the Devil May Cry games instead of revising
high gak long story short. I'm writing this about eight
hours before my final psychology exam in the UK, and
instead of revising as much as I should have, I
decided to complete the entirety of Devil May Cry one
in three parentheseeson, we don't speak about two? What's wrong

(01:26:19):
with Devil May Cry? Too? And I'm planning on playing
I've never played Devil May Cry? What is? What is?
I'm gonna google this Devil Devil May Cry? Is it
like a which one? Are we on? Okay? Okay, ninja theory? Okay,

(01:26:40):
looks like we're un five five six anyway. I don't
know this, I don't know why any that's important Okay,
I'm planning. I'm playing through four and five two. Only
problem is I might be risking going to university and
getting kicked out. Is it worth it? Definitely not? But
will I keep doing it? Probably anyway. Anyways, by the

(01:27:01):
time you're reading this, I will probably already have sat
the exam. Wish me luck, and I hope you all
right too. If you decide to include me in the podcast,
please refer to me as egg Man. Thank you, And
then he sent me screenshots of all the achievements he's
gotten on doublemacry. All right, what's my Do I have

(01:27:21):
a ponder about this? No, I don't really have a
ponder about this. I mean, I love video games. I
don't know if I've ever let a video game ruin
my life. Maybe I have. I mean yeah, I mean,
look if you told if you tallied up all the

(01:27:44):
time I've spent in my life playing video games and say, hey,
instead of doing that, you could have learned Spanish and
you'd be in Mexico right now with a beautiful woman
and all these a bunch of you know, friends, a
bunch of new Mexican friends, and that would be your life.
Then I guess I ruined. I guess I've ruined I've No,

(01:28:06):
I don't think I've ruined my life playing video games.
I've ruined an infinite amount of potential lives by playing
video games. I've ruined an infinite amount of But we
ruin infinite amounts of potential lives every day with every
action that we take. You don't get through life without
ruining and infinite amounts of potential lives. So maybe that's

(01:28:30):
what that's what this guy is doing. He's just he's
just ruining an infinite amount of potential lives with all
the decisions that he makes with his life that don't
lead in the infinite directions of those infinite lives. And
you know what, I don't know, man, I love video games.
I think video games are awesome. I'm really I'm really

(01:28:53):
powering through grand theft. Thought of six is the thing
I think I care about the most in my entire
life right now. I might be saying that, No, I'm
actually not saying I was about to say, I'm not exaggerating,
But no, that's actually not what I'm what I'm thinking.
That's not Uh, it's not an exaggeration. I fucking I

(01:29:14):
fucking love video games. I'm so excited for a Grand
Theft Ato six. I saw this comp I saw, I
was I was thinking about making a video about this,
but I saw this comment on I. Since it came
out eight or nine days ago, I've been watching the
Grand Theft Ato six trailer at least four times a day.
That's not that's not an exaggeration. In fact, that's actually

(01:29:34):
that might actually be an embellishment. I might I watch
it all the time. I saw a comment that said
something like, hey, hey everyone, we should use First of all,
hold before I say this comment. First of all, this
game is this is like the This is the first
time in a long time I have really felt like

(01:29:57):
I was part of something of like a of like
I felt where I felt like I was deeply connected
to like a massive world event on a personal level.
Maybe that's a little fucked up to say, but it it.

(01:30:20):
It's true, Maybe covid I felt deeply good. But do
you know what I mean? I feel like this is
an experience because this, like the whole comment section of
the Grand Theft thoughto six trailer, is just people being
like dude. I was fifteen years old when this came out,
and I had to like convince my parents to buy
it for me. And now I'm twenty eight or twenty seven,

(01:30:42):
and I can just get it myself. This is all
like like we all remember because it was too When
the trailer for Grant'stal five came out, I was in
middle school. I was taking a shit in my in
the bathroom at my middle school, and I had I
had the iPhone one or whatever the fuck, and I
was watching the trailer for grandraft Lotal five. And I

(01:31:03):
watched the Grand Theft Lotal five trailer every single day
when I was in middle school. And and I haven't
had a feeling like that since it's been it's been
thirteen years, twelve thirteen years since I had that feeling
that I had when Super Smash, Brothers Brawl and Portal

(01:31:24):
two and Grand Theft Lotal five came out. I haven't
had that feeling in a long time. There's been a
lot of there's been there's been games that I've played.
I can't think of a game on that level of
magnitude that I've played. I mean, Read the Redemption two
was fucking sick, but I played that game way way
way after it came out. I played that like five

(01:31:44):
years after it came out. I haven't been like anticipating
a video game this much since Grandraft Lot of Six.
And anyway, in the comments section is a bunch of
people who have who have had my exact life experience,
who who are like the this, like I haven't I
haven't had this feeling for so long, and like people

(01:32:07):
write this, and then the comments get I have like,
you know, million four a comment will be like, oh,
I haven't had this feeling and so long, and I'll
have like four hundred thousand likes and that's It's the
most scene I think I've felt in a while, which
is funny because I posted a video about depression and
then a bunch of people commented on it, and I

(01:32:28):
feel more seen, not not not to not to not to,
not to down. The comments I got on that video
are incredibly sweet, But I just there's something about the
comments of the Grand Theft Thought of six trailer where
I'm like, I have never I have never been more
happy to be a nameless entity in a sea of

(01:32:49):
infinite other people than I am to be, you know.
A hundred of the two hundred and eighty six million
views on the grandft thought of six trailer. I feel
deeply connected that it's like a religion at this point. Anyway,
I saw a comment that said something like on May,

(01:33:11):
I said, I saw a comment and said something like,
so the game was delayed. The game was supposed to
come out this September, and then it got delayed to
May twenty six, twenty twenty six. And I saw a
comment that said, hey, everyone, let's use this as a
way to better ourselves so that we can make a

(01:33:35):
plan on how we can improve ourselves. And you know,
I don't remember these act comment, but it was like,
how we can improve ourselves and achieve our dreams and
fix up our lives so that a year from now
when the game comes out, we can feel like we
earned it. And a couple people wrote under that, being
like that's fucking gay, shut up, which is which was

(01:33:57):
an inevitability when he posted that comment, that was an inevitability.
But I saw this and I was like, that fucking
comment slaps. This is just something I wish I had.
I wish it took a screenshot of it. I wish
I had it because this was just some random fucking
guy who caught this comment. We had like twenty six likes.
But I saw it and I was like, Wow, this
person is spitting with that comment. So I'm gonna try

(01:34:20):
to I'm gonna try to take that to heart. I'm
gonna try because of because I I am fully optimistic
that I will continue to be a conscious human being
a year from now. We're not slowing down. We're gonna
be We're gonna continue existing at least until this game
comes out. And I would like to I that comment

(01:34:43):
inspired me, like I'd like to look back on, you know,
May of twenty twenty five, when I'm in May of
twenty twenty six and be like that was a good year.
It was a good year's time. We improved. And as
the reward, I will be play uh grand Theftoto six
for like a month. There is no you know, the

(01:35:09):
whole like wave of magic wand and you could be
literally doing anything. There's no I've I was thinking about it,
and I think what I would be doing is playing
granded thoughto six, there's no other because sometimes you're like
playing a video game, or you're scrolling red or you're
doing some kind of like what is traditionally considered a
low value activity and you're like, oh, I should be

(01:35:32):
doing something productive right now. You know that's we covered
a few emails like that today. That thought will not
enter my brain, uh for a single second that I
am playing Grand Thoto six. When I'm playing graand the
thought of six, I will the only thought I will
be having when I'm playing gra Thoto six is me

(01:35:54):
on my couch holding this PlayStation controller at this moment
in time, between two walls of oblivion. All the time
there ever will be and all the time there ever was,
I am. I am exactly exactly who I want to
be and where I want to be in this infinite
universe at this time. That is the thought I will

(01:36:16):
be having the entire time I am playing Grand Theft
Auto six. Anyway, Okay, thanks for listening to gek Mail.
I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to, I'll
probably do more of these. So you can send an
email to therapy Geckomail at gmail dot com and maybe
I'll read it at some point in the future. Also,

(01:36:37):
I also like you could send me an email and
I maybe maybe I'll read it in six months, because
I don't know how I don't really have a schedule
list to when I do these episodes. Thank you all
for listening, Thank you all for hanging out. Let me
know in the comments section on Spotify if you know anything.
I don't know. I read all the comments. I'm crazy.

(01:36:58):
I probably shouldn't. I don't think it's good for my health.
But uh, I mean they're all nice, everyone's particular, everyone's
everyone's been nice. But I don't know. I I think
you only wanna You only want to take in so
much information at a time. Our brains were only meant

(01:37:18):
to take in so much information at a time. Okay,
all right, thanks everyone, see you, see you, see you.
Next episode goes on the line, taking your phone calls
every night, goes to his He's teaching you a loud
in them of your life, but he's not really an expert.

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Lyle Drescher

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