GECKMAIL: “MY DAD CAN’T STOP MARRYING WOMEN FROM THE INTERNET”

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, what's up. How's it going. My name is Lyle
a Gecko sometimes and this is gek Mail. I made
an Instagram story where I asked people to send me mail,
not like literal male, but email with stuff with words.

(00:22):
You know. It's kind of will be like the regular podcast,
except it's just me. You know how. Normally there's a
lot of podcasts out there where it's two people having
a conversation, and that's what a lot of my podcast
is normally. But today my podcast is going to just
be me ranting a lot while looking at things that

(00:42):
other people have said. It's gonna be like a monologue podcast,
but I will be reading viewer mail. It's almost like
like like reading those Reddit stories, except instead of posting
them to Reddit, people email them to me. That's what

(01:03):
people used, That's what people used to do before they
could post their stories on Reddit. They just said them.
They didn't they emailed them to people, or they just
said them. I'm off one right now, I'm gonna go
on a rant today. I'm not holding it. I've decided
this this episode of gek Mail, I'm not holding anything back,
all right. I'm gonna give my true opinions on things. Normally,

(01:26):
I'm scared. Normally, I'm like, I don't want to give
my opinions because not even because I'm afraid of people
getting mad at me. Serious, seriously, not even because I'm
afraid of people getting mad at me, but more so
because I think as time has gone on, I just
developed this like deep agnosticism towards fucking everything, you know,

(01:46):
towards everything. There's some things that that agnosticism hasn't touched,
but it's touched a lot of stuff. The older I get,
the more I learn through my own personal experience, the
less I feel like I fucking know about it anything.
That's the main reason why I don't give a lot
of strong opinions, or at least try out to give

(02:08):
a lot of strong opinions. But I'm not gonna do
that today. I'm gonna not be agnostic today. I think
the world needs a little bit more agnosticism in a
sense is but that's an opinion in and of itself.
All right, Fuck this this is That was that was
too long of an intro. Thanks for listening to this podcast.

(02:29):
This is gonna be like an hour and a half
of me rambling, and I think it's gonna be fun.
I think we're gonna have a good time. I drank
a cup of coffee, and we have some good emails
that we're gonna listen to. So let's do a gek mail. Okay,
This first one is called this is from soup Corn

(02:51):
and the subject line is I don't like my home
country of Japan. Hello Therapy Gecko. I met you one
time in Shibuya a show. It was a fun experience,
so thank you for coming. Yes, I did a show
a couple times in Shibuya, Tokyo. That was fucking fun.
All right. Anyway, this is just a dump about what
I thought about today. I don't know what I should

(03:12):
do with my life. I'm an architecture student from Japan
and I am on study abroad. I don't like Japan
in terms of the work culture, the people who are
too shy to talk to each other, having to play
the mind games, read the room, who's greater and better
every single minute? Yeah, in I've talked about Japan. I

(03:33):
feel like a bunch on the show. Japan has a
crazy work culture and it also has ah fuck, there's
a name for this, dude. Hold on, there's a name
for this I'm gonna google this Japanese term for outword
verse in word expression. There's a word for this, Okay,

(04:03):
here it is, I think. I think it's called tatame
the public facade what you say and do outwardly to
maintain social harmony and expectations. And then honey, which is
like your true inner feelings. And so I think, like, yeah,
in Japanese, uh uh, like work culture from what I understand,

(04:24):
I mean, I'm a fucking white American guy, but from
what I understand is that there's a very strong culture
of like, do not say what you feel and keep
it inside to maintain social harmony. So there's a lot
of I think what this emailer is talking about is, yeah,
having to play those mind games and having to like

(04:47):
and also like social hierarchy and order, like there's this
is more important over there. Like there's this thing when
you go out to drinks with your boss, Like it's
expected that you go out to drinks with like your
coworkers and the people you work with, even after work hours.
And there's a weird thing where like when you clink
your glass you're superior. You have to make sure that

(05:10):
if your boss's glass is like above yours like you
have a lot of respect for hierarchy and whatnot. Okay,
So I don't like the work culture. I don't like
having to play these mind games. But I love the designs,
some music, fashion, and the architecture that the Japanese produce.

(05:32):
They're so funny, diverse, elegant, chaotic yet orderly. I want
to get out of Japan, but I like Japan. I
want to live doing design, but I also want money,
and being an architect isn't the best choice if you
want to be rich. Is that true? I thought architects
make a lot of money. Is that not true? Okay,

(05:57):
I'm gonna guess this person is it's true. Okay. I
just want to live my life reading books, watching movies,
going to museums, travel sometimes, learn new things, and design stuff.
Maybe it's just the work life, the adult life that
I'm scared of. Not Japan necessarily interesting. Interesting, that could

(06:18):
be true. I guess that I tend to compare myself
with other people, especially people from high school. I get
anxious when I'm talking to the people who went full business.
I feel their ideology is fit for society. They have
a clear goal, a motive, and already starting up the ladder. Interesting. Okay,
so this person gets anxious when they talk to people

(06:40):
who kind of went straight up, you know, they were like,
all right, I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna get
the job, I'm gonna respect my elders. I'm gonna, you know,
fit into the way that society is wants me to conform.
I'm still deciding on which ladder to take. I might

(07:01):
be too scared or too greedy to decide what to do.
The study abroad is hard, but so fun for me.
I am having a great experience in the city I
am studying at the moment. The people are usually helpful
and easier to talk to than in Japan. But I'm
different here as a guest. Wait, ah, this person. I
don't think this person put where they are studying. I'm

(07:24):
gonna get where. I'm gonna guess they're studying in America.
I mean, I don't know, maybe they could be studying
in Europe or Australia or Canada or whatever. That's just
me being fucking America bias. It's like, yeah, they're studying abroad.
Of course, if you're what, you're gonna go to another country.
You're gonna go some place it's not America. Okay. The

(07:45):
people are usually helpful, easier to talk to than in Japan.
But I'm here as a guest. My chances to get
a job here after study abroad are very, very low.
I have not heard about it. I think being a
guest and being I think being a guest versus being
a resident gives you different lenses. Or maybe I am
in that period where you can oversee someone's flaws because

(08:08):
they are your crush or something. Okay, this seems more
American now, yes, this seems now more American. That's that is,
I guess a little bit of America as you kind
of fall in love with it. I guess why did
I say that? You fall in love with it. You
go over and you're like, oh, there's a lot of
cool stuff here, but it is a honeymoon phase. And

(08:31):
then you're like, oh, wait, there's actually a lot of flaws.
But it's like that way everywhere. I mean, shit, for me,
it was like that with Japan, you know. I mean
you go to Japan and it's like, Wow, everything's cleaner,
everything's nicer, everything's fucking sick, And then you're like, wait,
why is it like that? And then you start to

(08:51):
start to learn about all this kind of like societal
conditioning and whatnot. Okay, or maybe I am in that
period where you can oversee someone's flaws because they're or
crush or something. Nah, Japan is still kind of shit. Okay,
that's the whole email from Soupcorn. I don't know. They
bring up a lot of interesting things. There's a lot

(09:11):
of information that's missing from this email that I'm that
is would be important to ponder it, like where did
they go? But you know what I'll say this Soupcorn,
is that the first of all, you're not alone. You're
not alone at all, and everyone everyone knows you're not

(09:33):
alone in the desire to do like you're not alone
in the sense that you see this path ahead of
you that all your like classmates are taking and friends
are taking, and you see what's up right, especially in
a culture like Japan, and you see this traditional route

(09:56):
and you look at it and you're like, oh, man,
is this is this? It is this what I gotta do?
And you're like, is there anything else? And you're and
it's not only that, right, It's not only that. It's
that you see other people, not not that you see
other people who feel the same way as you but

(10:18):
submit to it. You fucking see other people who don't
question it and don't think about it and are fine
with it. And that is I think what makes you
anxious is you're like, fuck, you know, I'm I'm Why
am I? Why am I cursed with wanting something more?

(10:39):
And my friends are totally down to just like you know, uh,
suck up to a boss and and take to take
the traditional route. And let me tell you something, it's
a it's a blessing and a curse. And you know,
I've I've never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever in

(10:59):
my life, you know, from I mean from like fucking
elementary school man like thought that I was gonna get
go into science or or medicine or law or like
anything traditional. I'm a I'm This is a hard one
to draw from my personal experience because I just feel

(11:20):
like I got I feel like I got really uh
lucky with a lot of ways that my life turned
out in this kind of regard. But also if I
hadn't gotten lucky, I would have I probably would have
just kept trying different shit until I got lucky. But
it's tough. There's lots and lots and lots of times

(11:40):
in my life and I'm not even and you know,
I mean take career out of it, right, you know,
I mean look at like life in general, there's a
certain kind of brain that just is like, I want
more out of this. Although this person, they said they
just want to read books, watch movies, go to museums,
travel sometimes, learn new things and design stuff. Can you

(12:02):
not find just like some job. I I don't know
what is available in Japan. Maybe you would have to
leave Japan. And also, this person's probably young. This person's
probably like nineteen twenty twenty one. Try going somewhere. I

(12:23):
don't know where you can go. I don't know where
you can go, but you could go somewhere America. I
know America is what sucks and it's hard to get
into and is expensive. But like, I don't know what's
up in Canada? Do they let people go to Canada?

(12:45):
I feel like I'm not being helpful to this person
at all, but I have a lot of thoughts about it.
If all you want to do is read books, watch movies,
go to museums, travel sometimes, learn new things and design stuff.
As you said, you can totally totally be like okay,

(13:07):
Like it's like, sit down, do some googling, do some research,
and just be like, what fucking job can I do
that makes the most amount of money with the least
amount of work, Like how many? There's gotta be some
bullshit jobs out there that you can just like do

(13:29):
your bullshit thing for money and then live your life.
That's a that's a big thing is that you don't
have The thing you do for money doesn't have to
be your fucking life and your how you define yourself.
So you probably have a lot of friends who are

(13:49):
like I, I it's really important to me to climb
the corporate ladder and to succeed and to do a
good job. And that doesn't have to be you. It
doesn't have to be you. You can just you can.
You can work at some fucking coffee shop for as

(14:09):
little hours as you need to to pay some humble amount,
some humble lifestyle. You live with roommates, you know, live cheap,
and just fucking live your life. Man, if that's what
you want to do, If that's what you want to do, okay,
I don't know, if any I don't know if that
was helpful at all. Let's keep going. Oh, this is

(14:33):
from the same person. Okay, this person sent me multiply.
All right, this is from the same person, but it's
kind of interesting. Okay, this is also from soup Corn.
I told my Muslim friend her favorite cake has alcohol. Hi,
So my friend decided to buy some cake and said
I can have some. I take some and went home.

(14:55):
Later that day, I had a bite and realized it
had an alcoholic flavor. So I thought this was her
first time eating it. Maybe she doesn't know about this.
So I call her, telling her that there is some
alcohol zero point nine percent wine. But the thing is,
she already had a bite. In fact, it was her

(15:15):
favorite cake to buy at the supermarket. She didn't know
there was alcohol in it before, but now that she knows,
she probably feels guilty religiously she can't eat her favorite
cake anymore. I feel so bad. Should I have not
told her about this? Or was this the right thing
to do? What can I do to make it up?

(15:36):
Is this? Okay? So this is the same guy who
from Japan who was talking about wanting to leave. I
feel bad for this person because this guy's soupcorn is
the name of this emailer. This guy's mind is so
I feel bad. This is this guy's brain. If this

(15:58):
is a guy, I'm gonna just say it is. This
guy's brain is so anxious that he thinks that it's
that it's somehow his fault that this cake has alcohol
in it's that this his friend bought like he it's

(16:20):
almost like like he like he's acting as if he
fucking like gave her the cake without knowing she bought him.
He's acting like he gifted her cake and that had
alcohol in it and he fucked her up. But he's
just informing her as a friend that the cake has

(16:42):
alcohol in it, and now he feels bad about informing
her of reality. That is helpful for her. Soup corn.
If you're listening to this podcast, you got I think
you need a strong internal mindset shift because you're if
you're doing this with cake, you're probably doing this with
the rest of your life of just believing that you're

(17:08):
somehow guilty of all everything, which is you can't live
life like that. It's gonna fuck you up. Yeah, you have.
There's no reason all to feel bad about this. You're
in You're helping your friend by informing her that this
cake has. I mean, it's a bummer for her, but
it's not your It's a bummer for her, but it's
not your fault. It's like it's like it's like if

(17:29):
you told your friend that it was going to rain
today and then you felt bad that it was going
to rise, if you fucking made it rain. Can't be
so hard on yourself, supercorn. All right. This one is
from Gabby, subject line my dad can't stop marrying women

(17:49):
he meets off the internet. Hi, gek, my name is Gabby.
I am twenty one and uh my father is on
marriage number four since twenty twenty two. For some context,
his first wife was an arranged marriage and he ended
up leaving her and their daughter three years in for

(18:10):
my mom. Him and my mom met through the internet
in two thousand and three. Wow, that's pretty early for
meeting on the internet. My dad was disowned from his
family because of the divorce and moved from India to
the US to be with my mom. They were together
for seventeen years, but he cheated on her a lot
and they got divorced like three times throughout my childhood.

(18:34):
My mom unfortunately passed away in twenty twenty and the
dating started immediately with no concern for his grieving children.
He is a pattern of finding women that do not
live close to where he's living at all, talking to
them for weeks to a month, and flying us all
out to meet them for the first time. That's crazy.

(18:58):
I mean, I guess you get hopefully, hopefully these women
live in cool places that you get to go to,
bringing them expensive gifts, buying them cars, apartments, paying for
their children's college, and then proposing to them, only to
get heartbroken. Months after, the most notable wife he had

(19:23):
lived in Chicago, he flew out to meet her for
the first time by himself after two weeks of talking
to her, and that weekend he was there, he got
her an apartment in downtown Chicago. Jesus Christ, And as
soon as he got back he told us she was
moving in with us the following week. Wait, he got
her an apartment and then fucking but if you got

(19:45):
her an apartment where First of all, what does your
dad do for a living? Dude? Your dad is anyway,
as soon he's got has he moving in with you? Guys?
If he got her an apartment in Chicago and I'm
going to speed run the rest of the story, but basically,
this woman and her daughter moved in did not speak
to any of us, unless if it was to ask

(20:07):
about our dad's dating history. Two weeks in, they both
went to Chicago for the weekend and came back engaged
without any of our knowledge, and then they eloped at
the courthouse the same week. Anyway, I really don't like her,
and my dad was forcing us to be extra nice
to her and her daughter and give them special treatment

(20:28):
and just kind of would go do things without us
to make them feel more welcome. And then the fighting
started and they started a divorce. Like three months in,
she moved back to Chicago to an apartment he was
paying for with her car. Okay, I'm gonna just keep going.
I'm gonna skip a lot of this. He was tracking

(20:49):
her in her car and got a second apartment in
Chicago to be close to her, and it was awful.
He was heartbroken and a mess for months. I can't
be He would say things like, I can't be a
good dad to you guys if I'm not happy. He
would leave my siblings alone in the house for weeks
and tell them to just door dash. I was living

(21:12):
on my own at that point because I could not
take it anymore and had no knowledge of him leaving
them anyway. His other marriages don't go so great either.
But yeah, hope this helps, love you gek, hope this
helps you? What helps? This helps? Well, I don't know
what you mean by I hope this helps, but okay,

(21:35):
Yeah that's a loaded thing. That's yeah, your dad, God,
I hope that's I really hope this isn't me when
I'm fifty. I really hope it's not me when I'm fifty.
It might be It might be me when I'm fifty.
This might just be me when I'm fifty years old.

(21:57):
Is like just you know, being like being being like now,
I don't think I would abandon my kids, but if
I had, like if I was like fifty, if I
was like if I was like in my sixties and
I had like grown kids that were on their own
and I had a dead wife, I'd probably I would

(22:18):
also probably just start meeting marrying women from the internet
randomly at sixty when you get to lose it's sixty anyway, Yeah,
that's crazy. Your dad sounds like, I mean, that's crazy, right,
because if your dad's bear like twenty one. Your dad's

(22:40):
probably in his like fifties sixties. Can you fix your
life that? Your dad's probably been that guy forever. That's
the weird thing about getting older. That's a weird thing
When you meet people who are like in their fifties
and sixties, you know, they just like that. They're they
They have been that way for most of their life

(23:01):
and will probably continue to be that way forever. But
I'm glad you're out of the house at least and
you're not like dealing with all this bullshit. I feel
bad for your siblings. I don't I don't have advice
on any of this, but it was interesting to read. Okay,
this is from Doug. Subject line baloney and cake. Hey, Gek,

(23:22):
I just ate an entire ice cream cake and now
I'm feeling sick, but I kind of want to do
it again. I also just smoked and fried. I also
just made a smoked and fried baloney sandwich and it
smells great. Also, I saw you in Dallas last year.
That's the whole email. It sounds awful, Actually, it sounds awesome.

(23:43):
That's the thing, man, That's what sucks about food is
fucking great in the moment. And then afterwards it's like
this was a horrible decision. Man ah God eating it
into I that's the thing. I could do it. I
could eat an entire ice cream cake easy. I could
do it easily if you put an entire ice cream cake.
If you put an ice cream cake in front of
me right now, could eat the thing easily. You know,
I could eat a whole pieces. I could just keep

(24:04):
going until there would be no stop. That's the problem
with food your bodies is. I think my body has
evolved to a point where it's and it won't tell
itself to stop. You have to manually stop. You have
to use your higher human consciousness to stop. But I

(24:25):
don't know. This guy seems like he's doing it pretty.
He's he's taking it in the stride. Okay, let's see.
This is from uh Subha Sebba. Subject line is so antsy. Hello,

(24:46):
dearest Lyle. I'm feeling so antsy all the time, and
I don't know what to do about it. I've always
been pretty introverted and enjoyed my time alone, but now
I can't do it anymore. I've met such cool people
this summer, and now all I want to do is
meet people, because isn't that the point of life to
make connections. I mean, I'm still autistic and thus socially inept,
but I do enjoy meeting people. But now when I'm

(25:07):
alone in my room or alone in general, I get
so lonely and feel the need to get a tattoo
or piercing, or take a risky walk down a dark alleyway,
or text someone I shouldn't text, just for some kind
of feeling. It's so lonely being alone. And I don't
know how I suddenly became uncomfortable being alone. I don't
like it when I'm alone. I feel like I'm unlovable

(25:28):
for some reason. I DeKay why, man, it's weird and irrational.
Any words of wisdom of words in general will be nice.
Thanks man. By the way, I'm a colleged aged woman
for context. Well, first of all, you know, I agree
with you. I think meeting people and making connections is

(25:49):
one of the biggest points of life. And yeah, I
know what you mean, and I you know, I mean,
everyone has their own thing when it comes to like
how they cope with loneliness. You know, I mean I've
sat comfort and you know, food and pot and you know,
porn and all these things, or yeah, we're texting someone

(26:09):
I shouldn't text or something like that, And how do
you deal with it? I mean, I think it's a
question of It's just this is a question of putting
yourself out there, right. I mean, you said you've met
such cool people this summer. How did you do that?
How did you meet these cool people? Do more things

(26:31):
that put you around in spaces with other people. There's
a lot. That's the thing, right is I'm like, life
rewards you for just doing things. Really, you don't even
have to this. This is this is honest, honestly, this
is one of This is one of the main lessons
I've learned and I and I need to apply this
in my life more often. This is key is that

(26:52):
life doesn't reward you for making the right choices, because
there's no such thing as the right choices. But life
for war ords you every time for doing stuff. It doesn't.
It's you don't need you don't need to do the
right stuff. You just have to do stuff. If you

(27:14):
sit at home alone and and jerk off and do nothing,
you will there will be no rewards to you. But
if you do anything, you don't have to do the
right thing. You don't have to meet the right people,
but you don't have to make the right If you
just fucking do anything you get, you'll just get rewarded.
So you have to just do something. I don't know

(27:35):
where you live or where you are, but there's probably
other people there, So just think of something you can do,
Like I mean, you know, we've talked about this a
bunch on here, Like go to a fucking event. I
would avoid the dark alleyways. I don't know, you said,
I'm gonna guess that you're like a alt kind of

(27:55):
a lady. You know what about going to go to
go to show, go to the fucking dark carnival or whatever,
go to the d V and art to meet up,
whatever it is, go to something, go to something. There's
plenty of, like AULTI autistic young people in wherever city

(28:17):
that you are, that you can meet up with and
hang out with. But you just got you gotta go
to where they are, and you got to find that out,
and you gotta do the the truly minimal amount of
work that is required to figure out where those places are.
The real work is in the hole, is in the
you know, put them on clothes and getting outside and

(28:39):
going doing the thing. But the more you put yourself
out there, the less time you spend in your room,
and the more time you spend out in the fucking universe,
you'll just get rewarded naturally. Naturally, you don't even have
to worry about, like doing the right shit, So you

(28:59):
don't have to worry about you don't have to worry
about saying the right things. Even when talking to people,
you don't have to worry about saying the right things.
You have to worry about the fact that you're trying
to say anything at all to anyone. You know, That's
how I feel about relationships and friendships and dates and whatnot.
You have to you just have to keep throwing yourself

(29:19):
out there and eventually you'll get rewarded. So I mean,
that's my that's my advice, man, is just to leave
your house. You know, don't it's good that you're uncomfortable
being alone. You should be, right, The point of life
is you want to make connections, and you want to

(29:44):
live a life that you're proud of and happy with,
and you know, you don't want to look at the
highlight reel of your life that you're sitting around not
doing anything, So just leave the house. There's so many
opportunities to leave the house. Get out of the get
out of the house. Man. Okay, let's see here. This

(30:06):
is from Francesco. Subject line words dear Gecko. I am
a listener whenever my podcast backlog gives me some time
to listen to the other listeners ramblings. I really appreciate it,
even if sometimes I wish the episodes were a little
bit shorter, so that they could be around the ballpark

(30:27):
of thirty to forty minutes per episode. I people, you
make the episodes short, and people want them long. You
make them long, people want them short. Folks, I'm telling you,
do whatever you want with your fucking life. People will,
people will complain about whatever you do. There's no right an.
That's why that's literally to add on to what I

(30:48):
just said, just do something because people are always there's
always there's no right thing to do. That's why you
can never ask your That's why you can't ask your
audience what kind of episodes they want to listen to
or what kind of content they want, because this is
always gonna be do. You always have to just do
whatever it is that you want to do anyway, that's
I'm rambling. Okay, anyway whatever, I'm gonna skip this. My

(31:11):
life is a mess. I guess I'll thok Okay, my
life is a mess. I guess I lost my dream
as I was going, and then I somehow got back
on track. But it's not the same thing, and I
can't seem to be able to let go of the past.
Every time I feel down, I tend to do these things,
boil and remorse for previous bad life choices, work mindlessly

(31:34):
to forget my problems, and then, at the peak of
stress and self loathing, I treat others poorly. The effect
is that every day I sink deeper in mud and
then regret how poorly I behaved to others, repeatedly, every
day for months on end, blaming myself for everything and
fearing the consequences of my actions, sometimes even after I

(31:56):
said I'm sorry, and I truly am, Because broken things
can never be fixed to their original state. Now, you
might be saying, if you are aware of this, why
don't you just stop? Apparently it's not something that I
can control entirely. If you have any advice for me,
it will be welcome, and I thank you in advance
for it. Have a great day and good luck for

(32:16):
the future of your project. Keep up the good work.
Thank you, Francesco. Okay, hold on, I'm gonna try to
digest this real quick because this is very vague. My
life is a mess. I lost my dream as I
was going and got back on track. I can't seem
to be able to let go of the past. Okay,

(32:37):
so we got remorse for bad life choices, forgetting problems. Okay,
I mean there's a lot of stuff here, right. What
are you doing when you mean you're poorly behave poorly
to others? I'm curious what you're doing. And we've all

(33:04):
had that happen, like you. You your emotional state drives
your actions and you're like, oh fuck, I was just
being a dick, you know, And then you and then
you work harder on controlling your emotions and controlling your

(33:24):
fucking you know, to the best of your ability, and
you you try to you kind of try to wrangle
it all in, right, But yeah, you can't. You can't
boil in remorse. You can't do that. You can't do that, Francisco.

(33:45):
You you there's so much opportunity in the world. For again,
I'm gonna make this the theme of the episode. Just
do things. Life rewards you for just doing things. And
there will always, forever, no matter what previous bad choices
you made in your life, there will always be an

(34:06):
infinite amount of things to do. There will always be
an infinite amount of things to fucking dwell on from
the past. So Francesca, I mean, just you can't dwell
on the past. You can't. You just can't dwell in
the past. Also, nobody ever does Nobody ever does everything perfectly.

(34:28):
Nobody ever does anything perfectly. Nobody, nobody ever fucking did
everything perfectly. And by the way, a few people and
here's the thing, actually that's not true. A few people did.
A few people have been perfect and amazing. There's a
few ned flanders Is out there who just they were

(34:50):
awesome the entire time, and they made all the right choices,
and they're rich and amazing, and they've never done anything.
They never said anything bad to anyone or done anything
bad to anyone, and they made all their perfect life choices,
and they sleep well at night, and they never all
their thought The quality of their thoughts is amazing. Those

(35:11):
people totally exist, but that's they're good. Good for fucking them.
It's not the majority, it's really not the majority. The
majority of people probably live with some regret or remorse
over actions in the past, over whether over how they
hurt other people or how they hurt themselves, or like

(35:34):
people are reminiscent about what life could have been, or
they live life. Lives are quiet desperation. It's part of
the human experience. You're not alone in this, right, So
what you're experiencing is life. This is do You're not

(35:56):
You were never gonna do everything perfectly. That's not that's
not within you. That's that's that's like, I mean, that's
that's why people love Jesus is because he apparently was
amazing and did it was awesome and he uh turned
water into wine and shit and fucking was everyone everyone
liked him. But that's not you. You're not Jesus. None

(36:16):
of us are Jesus, and we were never going to
be We were all gonna be fickle, weird, imperfect people
in a fickle, weird, imperfect, complicated world. And you have

(36:37):
to accept that none of your choices were ever gonna
be the perfect ones. You knew you did what you
could with the knowledge you had at the time. So like.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Fucking just just stop bathing and like masturbating in the
shame and the fear and the guilt and the just
stop stop.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
You're like showering in it every day for no reason.
It helps no one, It doesn't help. It doesn't help
you become a better person for yourself or for the
other people around you. And it's just like why, like
why why, By the way, I totally bathe in shame
and guilt and self loathing all the time. That's why

(37:25):
I'm able to go on this rant to you. I
feel really good in this moment, and in general, I'm
I'm pretty good at I think like moving on and
you know, for like just you know whatever, if I

(37:49):
was like, ah, fuck, I should have done differently in
that situation, or I should have done differently in that situation.
I've gotten over the years, I've gotten pretty good at
not dwelling too hard on things, because as life goes on,
I realize that you only have the information that you have,

(38:09):
and you got to you gotta be quick to forgive
yourself for bad life choices. I mean, don't be too
quick that you don't learn your lesson. You want to
learn your lesson and you want to not do you know,
repeat ship that to keep harming yourself. I do that too,

(38:31):
I've I have plenty of lessons that I refuse to learn.
I guess but every but every year of my life,
I I I it's it's it's like a stock. It
like goes up and down and up and down up,
but it trends upwards as I get, as I get
older and live and do more things that I noticed
that I'm I'm better at what what? What is the

(39:01):
term for this error correction? Life is error correction? And
as I get older and as I do more things,
I get better at the error correction. So life is
error correction, meaning you do things and then you see
how the things that you do affect you and affect
other people. And as you do things, you you err.

(39:25):
To err is human and then you correct those errors.
So you have to allow you have to understand that
these errors that you made are not bugs. They're part
of the process of being a human being. Is you?
You you you error and then you correct and you
learn and sometimes you get If you're someone who you

(39:49):
let your emotions really fucking take hold of you. You
forget all of your error correction, and you admit to
the desires of the emotion that is currently possessing your
body like a demon. And that's something to wrangle if

(40:12):
you're if you're someone that lets emotions possess your body
like a fucking demon. But life, life is just error correction.
So when you look back at your life, Francesco, at
the errors, just just flip the mindset because right now

(40:35):
you're looking back at the errors and you go, oh,
I committed all these errors. I fucked up. I made
all these bad choices, and I fucked up, which means
that I'm I'm I'm done, and I was never gonna
be anything. And I because you know, because the best

(40:55):
version of me would have never made those errors. And
so you do well, and you dwell, and you dwell
and you dwell, and you the error because the errors
were inevitable, because you're a human being doing things. The
errors were inevitable. Okay, so understand that they were inevitable.
But then now what's in your UH agency is to

(41:20):
is to correct them and learn from them and also
understand that they're gonna keep happening. They're gonna make bad
choices until you die. You're gonna make bad choices until
you die. Probably you'll get better at making at you
at having them be less bad and probably less frequent.

(41:46):
But you'll never be perfect. You'll never be James Bond.
You'll never have the right. You know what I hate?
I saw this movie. I'm gonna go on such I'm
on such a rant whatever, I don't care. I hope
people are enjoying listening to this. I saw this movie,
the F one movie. I wasn't gonna see it, but
there's some people go and I went, and I hated

(42:07):
it so much. Has anyone has anyone seen the F
one movie? I fucking hated that fucking movie so much.
I promise is related. It's by that guy Jerry. I
think Jerry Bruckheimer, right, Jerry Bruckheimer. He made Top Gun Maverick,

(42:30):
Did he make the did he make the original Top Gun? Too?
I never saw the original Top Gun, but I saw
Top Gun Maverick, and I saw F one, and I
and and but before I know that the point is
that the movies are supposed to not be realistic. But
I fucking hate those movies because in those movies because

(42:50):
I hate those movies because they're perfect. I know that's
the point. I know that's the point. I'm gonna spoil
the F one movie. If you were gonna watch the
F one movie, then you can skip ahead. But I'm
gonna spoil it because who care? Okay? In the F
one movie, everyone just has the perfect thing to say.

(43:11):
You know, every character enters the room at the perfect time.
Everyone has there's no awkward there's no like, you know,
someone mumbles and they said what and then someone goes, oh, sorry,
I didn't hear you. Do you think should we No,
everything's perfect. Everything's written so that it was a perfect

(43:33):
thing that is said, and you know what happens. Here's
the thing I'm here's the spoiler. They win the race,
because of course they win the race. There's this part
of the F one movie where the Brad Pitt's character
is like talking to the love interest and he's like, man,
I don't even care if I win this race anymore.
You know.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
I used to be so obsessed with the trophies. I
used to be so obsessed with, you know, getting the
accolades and the money. But then I realized all it
was about is the racing. It doesn't even matter if
I win, which.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Would have been great. You know, if it weren't the
fact that he wins the fucking race at the end
of that have him not win the race then anyway, Okay,
I knew that this was really okay. This is why
this is related because life is not a Jerry Brockheimer movie.
That's why I talked about this. Life is not a
Jerry Brockhimer movie where everything is perfect and you always

(44:26):
say the fucking right thing and you always win the race.
Life is weird and gross and awkward and uncomfortable, especially
if you're a person who thinks and feels in some
deep sense, and that's a blessing and a curse. He

(44:50):
embrace it. So embrace the u the uncomfortability of your errors.
You don't want want to be Brad Pitt. That's soulless.
You don't want your life to be the F one movie.
That's a shitty movie. We all know people whose life
is like the F one movie. And maybe this is not.

(45:12):
You know, the the F one movie. It looked good,
it had good cinematography, and you know, Brad Pitt, that's cool.
I guess that's a cool life. But you don't want
your life to be the F one movie. You want
you want, you want something deeper than that. You want
something that people will that will be remembered. You know,

(45:32):
I people will forget about the F one movie. So
so in feel honored to live in imperfect human existence
and embrace it and try your best. That's my rant, Francisco. Okay,
that was a lot? How long was it? How long

(45:54):
was I ranted for? That? Was? I?

Speaker 2 (45:55):
Was?

Speaker 1 (45:55):
I rant? Was it? Did I spend forty five minutes
on that? One can email? This is from Keith, subject
line feeling weird. Hey, Lyle, hope you're well. I just
wanted to email you to talk about how weird life is,
or at least I've been feeling weird about it recently.
So many people that I feel I have put a

(46:16):
lot of time and effort into a friendship or some
sort of relationship with have been disintegrating lately as I'm
twenty three and everyone seems to be moving on and
creating new lives that I am no longer a part of.
I still live with my parents, only have a part
time job, even though I've graduated college six months ago.
Now I have no motivation to do anything other than
hang out with old friends like I did in the past.

(46:38):
But none of them have time, it seems. I don't know.
I guess this is kind of a whole lot of nothing. No,
it wasn't. It makes a lot of sense. Hopefully it
makes you ponder. Okay, yeah, I feel like I recently
talked about this on the show. But it's something I've
been thinking about a lot. Is like, as you get older,

(47:03):
your friends and your family all like start to have
their own lives. I'm twenty seven. My my I used
to live in a house when I was a boy
with my mom, my mom, my dad, and my sister.
We all used to live in a house together for

(47:26):
like fucking seven years something like that. Maybe the longer eight,
I don't know. But for a long time we all
lived in a house together and we all had we
all meet meet. Those the four of us, my mom,
my dad, and my sister. We all lived and we
all had a life together. And you know, then my
parents got divorced, they got remarried. I grew up, my

(47:51):
sister grew up. Now, me, my mom, my dad, and
my sister all live in different states and we all
have our own lives and we used to have you
know this, we were all we were all in each
other's lives and we check in on each other and
I call them and we talk and I you know,
I love them and they love me, and but you know,
we're I don't see them every day. They're not in
my They're not a part of my daily, daily, true

(48:13):
daily life. You know, my high school friends. I talk
to them in a group chat every day, which is awesome,
but you know, I don't. It's not like I was
in high school where I saw them like all the
time in class. And you show up to class and
you have your friends and everyone's like a You're like,
you have people in your life, right, Like That's kind

(48:36):
of how this ship goes. Is as you get older,
everyone starts to develop their own lives and you less.
You find yourself less and less. Uh you have people
kind of like, you know, you have friends and you
have family, but the less people like in your life.

(49:03):
It's and a lot of people are lucky, you know,
they have really nice they have really great relationships like
spouses and families and people they work whether you know,
some people are lucky enough that they have people in
their life like in in their life. You know, I'm
not talking about like having friends. I'm not talking about
having family. I'm not I'm talking about like you know,

(49:25):
you know what I mean. Whoever wrote this email, you
know what I mean. So you're twenty three, which is
a pivotal age because you graduated college and you're seeing
your friends move on and they are creating their lives
that you're not a part of. But that's that's again,

(49:47):
that's natural. It's to be accepted. But the good news
for you, Keith, is that because you're only twenty three,
you have a lot of time to create your own
life that can have people in it. How do you

(50:11):
create a life that has people in it? Well, it's
kind of the running theme of the episode a little bit.
You just do things, you know, you do things that
get you around other people. Develop yourself as a person
so that you know someone will want to be in

(50:32):
a relationship with you. That person can be in your life.
Do pro social things, you have hobbies, leave your house,
create shit that other people want to be a part of.

(50:54):
You know, there's there's there's ways in which you can
if you feel a lack of people in your life,
there's ways in which I think you can be creative
and throw yourself into the universe two again, attract people

(51:14):
into your life. So for you, specifically, I would say, uh,
go ahead and more, you know, take your time to
mourn a little bit. This is this is a bit
of a grief to getting older, but there's also a
it's also there's a bit of there's a bit of

(51:36):
a grief to getting older, but it's also I think
it's a perspective thing, and I deal with a lot
of this stuff myself. I think it's a perspective thing
because if you there's inherent grief to it, but if
you look at it as like like people I hate
when people say getting older sucks. It's like things only
suck if you decide that they do. So, Uh, look

(51:58):
at this as a challenge, as opportunity and take it
and take it on with with some excitedness. Like you
you're you're challenged now to create your own life. It's
fucking insanely fucking hard. And we all know that we

(52:19):
live in a crazy world. We all know we live
in a crazy economy. We all know we live in weird,
uncertain times. We've kind of always lived in uncertain times
in a way, because you know, when the fuck was
anything ever certain but you. But these if you have

(52:40):
to just embrace it, embrace this challenge that you have
now two build your own life. Keith, you graduated college
six months ago. What for? What? What do you do?

(53:00):
Figure out a way to throw yourself into the universe
and get other people around you. It's doable. There's a
lot of opportunity. Man. I've been on a lot of
emotion I've been on a lot of motivational rants today.
But I'm into it. I like it. I like thinking

(53:21):
about life, and I think it's something that a lot
of people are struggling with. It's the like loneliness and
feel like they don't have other people like in their life.
But uh, this is so much opportunity, you know, if

(53:44):
if we truly live in a world where so many
people are struggling with this, and there should be so
much opportunity for you to figure out how to get
those people together. Okay, this is from THEO subject line
cracking girlfriend. Hi. I love to crack my girlfriend's fingers
all ten a couple times each. I also love to

(54:07):
crack her back, and I often do it even after
finishing or during sexual intercourse. She had never done this before,
and she doesn't do it alone. I wants to ask
her if she lets me do it because she likes
it or just to please me. She answered the second one,
and it made me very pleased, but also made me

(54:30):
doubt my sanity. Sometimes it can hurt, and I'm seriously
sorry when it happens, but every time we laugh at it,
and then she lets me continue. We have been together
for almost three years, and I stop myself from asking
too many questions, and I enjoy the luck I have
in finding a person who lets me do such strange
things to her body. Greetings from Italy. THEO, they are

(54:55):
really doing some weird shit over there in Europe. They
are really testing the limits of the human experience. Yeah,
I don't know. I cracked my own fingers a lot.
I've had a time. I've had a time or two

(55:16):
I was holding hands with someone and did a little
bit of a crack, you know, because it does. It
feels good. If it feels good to crack your it
feels good, like because when you do it to yourself
right like that feels good, like the cracking, but also
like because you when you do it to yourself. You

(55:36):
experience both sides. You do the cracking and you get
the cracked. But just doing the cracking satisfying too. What
is your girlfriend? Let you gotta you gotta let your
girlfriend do something weird to you, though I don't know what.
Maybe she can Yeah, maybe that's what I would do
if I was in the situation. I was like, all right,

(55:57):
thanks for letting me crack your fingers because I'm weird.
What can I What can I do for you? Do
you wanna? Do you want ten dollars? Do you want?
You can lick my I can't think of a single
thing that would be a good trade for this. Just

(56:20):
be nice, Just be very very nice to this lady.
Just be just be extremely nice to this lady forever
and do whatever she tells you. Okay, this is from Brody.
Subject line read mine please you got it? Hello, Lyle.
Love the podcasts. I always listen to them while I'm

(56:41):
at work. I do refrigeration and heating and air and
while I'm doing a job, I have your podcast in
my ear. It's really entertaining. But that one guy that
had an obsession with Reese's cups, he don't know real game.
I know exactly. I remember exactly the caller that you're
talking about. I know what you're talking about. He doesn't

(57:02):
know the real game about eating them while they're still dressed.
I'm talking peel that skirt back a little bit and
take a few nibbles. Now that's real game. I don't
do that. I just rip the whole thing off. Also,
what's your thoughts on mastering a craft? Okay, that's a
subject change so far. I'm in I'm a year in

(57:23):
my current job, which is refrigeration heating air, and I'm
nineteen years of age. Male. This person writes interestingly, do
you think it would be best for me to stick
with it and try to make a company? Or stick
with it for a few years and try to learn
a new skill? Wait, so both options are to stick

(57:44):
with it. I'd love to make a lot of money
and buy nice materialistic things and all that, but I
wouldn't want to get myself tied down trying to operate
a company and not be able to live my life again.
Love the podcast. I hope to hear myself on here
while at work. I well, okay, I'm trying to understand
with this person is asking, so I think they're saying,
do you think it would be best for me to

(58:04):
stick with it and make a company or what? Brodie,
I have no idea what the fuck you're saying in
this email. I have no fucking idea what you're saying
in this email. Man, I don't know what you're saying
in this email, but I, for some reason reading it,
I just think you're going to be fine. Don't buy

(58:25):
a bunch of crap that ties you down to your job.
I'll say that. I'll say, you're nineteen, like, buy fucking
stocks or some shit. Don't buy dumb bullshit. That's all
I'll say to you, Brody, honestly, honest, honestly, Brodie, I
don't think you're gonna listen to a single thing I
would say anyway. I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I know
you're actually going to listen to this. Yeah, yeah, you

(58:50):
know what. Yeah, stick with heating refrigeration air. I do
feel like in the AI universe that's one of the
most like real real shit, like real blue collar shit
is what will make most money. So yeah, keep doing that,

(59:13):
Keep doing that, and try not to get yourself killed.
I feel like you're gonna like get into a like
motorcycle accident or something. Don't do that. Just don't do
anything stupid. Brody, You're gonna be okay. Just don't don't
do anything stupid. I don't know why I'm worried about
this guy. Something about it, something about this email. There's

(59:33):
nothing blatantly concerning about this email, but something about the
way it's written concerns me. You'll be okay, Brody, You'll
be okay. All right. This is from buzzsaw Kill. Subject
line in all caps desperation. Hello, therapy, get go. I

(59:54):
know you're a therapist. I'm not a therapist. Do people
really think I'm a therapist? Hey, therapy, get goo. I
know you're a therapist, So I'm assuming that means you
know how I can get hella bitches, which I am
in desperate need for. Here is my situation. I love primus.
I'm all caps fat, I'm a ginger. How am I

(01:00:16):
supposed to pick up women like this? And then they
put four question marks? How? And then they put six
question marks. First of all, if they get past the fatness,
then they look up a little and see the orange
disdain on my head, which is a turn off for
some right, and even if they can look past all

(01:00:36):
of that. I play them something like John the Fishermen,
which is an entry level primus song, and I can
see in their faces they're getting drier than a raisin
in the Sahara. I mean, really, people tell me I
just got to find the right woman, but it seems
like nobody around me is the right woman. Like I'm

(01:00:58):
a clam in a sea of muscle. My favorite shark
is the hammerhead shark. Now you might read this and
think it's a personality problem. Okay, wait, you just put
this is the most ADHD email of No, it's definitely
not the most DDHD email. But it's just funny to
me that you put. It's just funny to me that

(01:01:21):
in the middle of this email, I'm like kind of
glancing over the rest of it. I'll read the rest
of it, but just in the middle of this email
you just randomly put what your favorite shark is. Keep
being you buzzsaw kill. Okay, I'm glad you put that
in there. It's good. I'm glad I know that about you. Now,

(01:01:42):
now you might read this and think it's a personality problem,
but it all caps totally isn't. I am friends with
a lot of women, and they love me, but like
as a friend obviously, you know. And I've been told
that I'm a little weird, but like, I'm not weird
to the point where I'm repulsing women, you know. I mean,
maybe I say a weird thing here or there, but

(01:02:04):
it's not creepy weird. I'm not saying your tits look
real squeezable, honey. I'm saying something like, do you ever
think if eating come is vegan? Okay, you know what
I mean. That's a bit of a bad example for
things I say, but that's just off the dome. It's
actually a perfect example of a thing that you say

(01:02:26):
because you just said it. If you can, please give
a word or two, or maybe even three, if you're
feeling serendipitous for this Primus fan, I would appreciate it. Thanks, Okay,
I have a lot of thoughts. I gotta get him together.
First of all, shout out Primus. They did the south
Park theme song. There's an epic this is fucking sick

(01:02:49):
concert video. I think the whole thing's on YouTube. It's
Matt Stone and Trey Parker doing songs from South Park
with Ween and Primus and it's at fuck in Red
Rocks and then Ween and Primus also do some songs.
It's so fucking sick. You gotta check it out if
you're a fan of South Park or Ween of Primus anyway,

(01:03:11):
So I'm gonna call you a buzz because that that's
your thing. Listen, buzz. Here's the thing I'm a. I'm
The idea of be yourself is one that is tricky
because you want to you want to be you don't

(01:03:31):
wanna You don't want to dilute your essence such that
you are palatable for others. Right, you know that's not
a good thing, but you can't. But some part, but
but but maybe some parts of your essence could be

(01:03:56):
formed a little bit, right, Like like like you take
a big thing, a marble, and you carve it to
make a statue. Right, you shaved away a lot of
stuff and you refined it and you made something that's
beautiful and was better than when the marble was just
a brick. But it's still the marble, right, the essence

(01:04:19):
is still there. So, uh, if I were you, I
don't think you should dilute who you are to be
palatable to other people. But you should probably learn how to, like,
you know, take it down a notch, you know, because

(01:04:43):
here's the other thing that's also Here's like the subject
line of the email is desperation in all caps. And
let me tell you, if you are going into this
with desperation, it doesn't and I'm not I'm telling this
from experience. If if you go into the dating universe
with desperation, I don't care how slick you think you're being,

(01:05:10):
they know, they know, they know. It doesn't matter how
slick you think you're being. If you're desperate, it comes off.
You can't you cannot prevent your subconscious feelings from coming

(01:05:37):
out in your behavior. So if subconsciously you're desperate, it'll
come out in your behavior, no matter how fucking slick
you think you're being. So you have to kind of
rid yourself of the desperation, which is hard. It's hard
to it's you know, it's hard to not want things
that you want. But just know that it comes how

(01:06:00):
you feel about yourself, how you feel about the world,
how you feel about your situations. They all come out
in your words and actions, whether you want them to
or not. They just do. They just bleed out naturally. Also,
you seem to be upset about being fat. I get

(01:06:21):
upset about being fat myself. You can always lose weight
that's within your control. You know, start going to the gym,
Start you know, doing do a little bit. I'm not
gonna go Hubermen on this because I'm the last guy
to give any of this kind of advice, but you know,

(01:06:42):
do a little bit of fasting, do a little bit
more walking. Don't do it to get attention from women,
but do it because you clearly don't like the way
that you look and feel in your body. And that
comes off right, So do it for yourself. So a that.

(01:07:03):
And then here's actually here's an here's another thing I'm
gonna throw throw at you. Buzz. This email is very
you focused, right, Like when you say things like do

(01:07:24):
you ever think eating cum is vegan? And you start
playing a Primus song. Right, Here's the thing when you
if you're hanging out with a lady and you just
start being like, hey, check out this fucking YouTube video.
Hey check out this thing, and you're just taking yourself
and you're like throwing it at them. You're not really

(01:07:46):
gonna connect, you say, I'm just gonna make this observation
but it seems like when you're meeting these women that
you're throwing yourself at them instead of trying to connect
with them by showing interest in them and their lives. Like,

(01:08:06):
here's the thing you like Primus, that's cool, but that
and your favorite shark is the hammha tried shark. That's great,
But who gives the shit? Right, if you're on a
date with someone, If you're meeting someone, you gotta you
wanna get to know them. You gotta ask them questions
about themselves. You got. Connecting with someone means you learn

(01:08:26):
about them and their content, the context in which they live,
the things that they like, who they are as a person,
and you interact with that. Because if a girl goes
to hang out with you and you're just you're just
a brick wall of yourself and you're putting on this
Primus song and you're talking about sharks and you're talking
about come and like, there's no connection this. This this

(01:08:52):
woman is gonna be like I might as well have
gone on a on a date with a with a
you know, a TV that is just one side. This
is a one sided thing, right, it seems I'm just
gathering from your email that you might be having a
lot of one sided interactions. And so if I were you,
I would just I would take all of the ego

(01:09:15):
out of this process. I would take all of the
I you start. Here's you say in this email you
have it. This is how the email is formatted. It says,
here's my situation. And then you wrote you wrote this
in like numerical list. You wrote one, I love Primus, two,
I'm fat, three I'm a ginger. It's the the format
of the email is like, there's a lot of ego

(01:09:40):
in it, and I'm and I'm I don't. I don't
mean ego in the way of like egotistical. I mean
ego in the way of like the self Like this
is like it's just it's about it's like me, I'm fat,
I'm ginger, I love Primus, I like, I'm I'm this,
I'm that, I'm the other thing. And it's not there's
no you gotta you gotta drop all of the ego

(01:10:02):
you got, drop all of the understanding of yourself and
go into these things completely flip it, like why are
you like, why are you pulling out your phone to
play John the Fisherman? Why are you doing that you
don't be don't do that. Not because you could play

(01:10:24):
you could play the cool you could play the coolest
music or whatever that, but like you, it's it's a
signal to me that you're not actually engaging with these
people that you're meeting, and you're just throwing the ego
of yourself at them, and people hate that, and people
and that leads to no connection. So you could be fat,

(01:10:47):
and you could be ginger, and you could love primus,
and you could wonder if eating cum is vegan, and
you know, look, if you're those are all things within
you that aren't necessarily gonna repel other people from you.
But if you're lead, and and and but if you
lead with all of that, and that's like your fucking

(01:11:12):
north star or whatever, you're not connecting. So next time
you go on a date with someone or you meet someone,
take don'ty, don't mention primus, don't think, don't even think
about yourself, take like literally, strip the ego from it,
strip the self from it, and focus one hundred percent
on the person you're attempting to connect to, and attempt

(01:11:33):
to connect with them by showing genuine interest in who
they are. Right and if in the process of doing that,
you can find connection through things like the music you
like and your life experiences, and you know your your

(01:11:56):
curiosity about come then bring them out. But first and foremost,
you want to go in there with the idea of
seeing if you can connect with this person, not about like. Also,
dates are not about trying to get people to like you.
They're about seeing if you connect with people naturally. They're

(01:12:17):
not They're not things that you win or lose. So
go into these So I've i've I've been repeating myself,
but go into these seeing if you connect with people,
and not see and not being like. And now, because
you're going onto all this shit with this mindset of like,
I'm a weird, fat ginger guy who loves this weird music.

(01:12:41):
No one's gonna like that shit, where it's like that's
all that's left field, that's not You're so far away
from the mindset that you want to be going into
this with. You want to be going into this with
an egoless mindset that has nothing to do with you,
that goes like, Huh, I'm gonna see if I like
this person, see if I find them interesting, see if
I can connect to them and then you know, try

(01:13:03):
to lose weight if that's what you want, if you
want to feel better about yourself. And uh yeah, primus
is cool. You should. You should check out check out
that fucking Red Rocks concert with the South Park guys.
It's so sick. All right, let's see what else i'll read.
I'll read another one. This is from Rambunctious Rampage, subject

(01:13:27):
line airplanes and growing up. Hello, mister gecko. I've been
listening since twenty twenty two when I started going to
trade school to work on airplanes. Three years later, now
I am a full time mechanic working on executive jets.
I always thought you would think my line of work
is pretty cool, and honestly, I enjoy bragging about it

(01:13:47):
because how many people have you met that'll work on airplanes?
Sure it's cool. Sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, No, it's cool.
It's cool to work on airplanes. I like being in airplanes.
I use airplanes to get places. It's good someone has
to work on them. If they don't, then they don't exist.

(01:14:11):
When I graduated school, I got engaged to my fiance
of seven years. We moved four hundred miles away together
for work. I landed my dream job right out of
school and was promptly fired three months later after the works.
After the worst two weeks of my life applying to
jobs and playing Fallout New Vegas, I got my current job,
which is going better than I ever could have expected.

(01:14:33):
We have two cats and have been thriving in our
big apartment twelve hundred square feet. This guy really likes
to brag. I built a gaming PC in March, and
we each have a bookshelf full of our own books.
You should try reading. Okay, now, fuck you, Thanks for
your time, sir. Sorry you Actually you seem like a

(01:14:53):
cool guy. Rambooks just rampage. I'm jealous. I'm not going
to try reading. I'm happy before I really am. I'm
happy for you. That's why I was being a dick,
is because I'm actually I'm jealous because you seem happy
about life, which is nice, and I'm happy for you.
I'm happy for you that you got You went from
the worst two weeks of your life too to live

(01:15:16):
in to enjoying life. It's good, man, it's good. I
like it. I like it. You know what we get
a lot of I think it's good. It's good to
know that I feel like a lot of you know,
there's a lot of fucked up shit going on in
the world. So anytime I read an email of someone

(01:15:38):
being like, oh, I actually enjoy life and things are
going good and I'm happy, especially, I love it. I
love a good story. I love this. I love a
good comeback story. Worst two weeks of your life? Now
you got books. I've read a couple of times. I
tried reading, but I I I don't have the I

(01:16:01):
don't have the patience for it. I like I like
playing video games, though I'm not a fall out New
Vegas guy. I don't like games that are too complicated
or like feel like work. You know. I feel like
I was a dick to this guy, but uh, you know,
he told me to try reading the nerve the nerve. No,

(01:16:28):
thank you for sharing a re extrous rampage. I appreciate you.
Thanks for making airplanes? Who do you what? What you work on?
Executive jets? Like for like, like do you make like Bezos'
rocket ship? And ship? That is pretty cool? Or I
guess it's cool. Have you ever seen the movie Airplane?

(01:16:49):
She watched the movie Airplane. Remolxirous Rampage. Okay, let's read
another email, all right, This is from Skip subject line
I hiked across Spain. Hey, Lyle, love the show. You're
a real g Thank you Skip. In twenty twenty three,
I hiked from the bottom of France all the way
across the top half of Spain on the Camino de Santiago.

(01:17:11):
I've always wanted to do that. Shit, that's cool. Then
I went to and spent weeks recovering on the beach
in Lagos, Portugal. I hiked the Camino because I was
feeling dead for years, no purpose, had gone through a
breakup and a pill addiction, and had no aim in life.
So I found out about the Camino from a friend

(01:17:31):
and spent two years bartending to save up to do it.
When I had the money, I quit my job, bought
the plane ticket, packed my shit, and off I went.
I ended up meeting six other hikers, all Europeans who
became my close, close friends. It's been two years since
that trip and we all still talk in our WhatsApp
group almost daily. Spain and those people made me feel

(01:17:52):
life again. Magic is real. It's out there, you just
have to find it. Skip. Ooh, what a great email
to end on. Thank you for sending this skip. I
love this, this so so so. This the theme of
the episode today, The motherfucking theme of the episode today

(01:18:12):
that life rewards you for just doing shit. And look
at this guy, right, this guy fucking he he he
didn't have any money, he spent two years, Barty saved
up for it, and then he fucking went and he
did it and he got rewarded. Life just rewards you
for doing shit. He doesn't. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta,

(01:18:35):
I gotta apply this more to my own life. You know,
life just rewards you for doing shit. It really does.
It's not a it's a less and less and less
feel like you gotta make any sort of like right
decisions or whatnot. But it just rewards you for doing shit.
I mean, this is a perfect example. This guy fucking breakup,

(01:18:55):
pill addiction, no aim in life recovery, just fucking you know.
That's the thing. I believe heavily in serendipity, Like this,
fucking shit just finds you. This is why I first
started like doing my solo travel shit when I was, uh,

(01:19:17):
you know, in my early twenties. I was solo traveling
because the more you go and do things and put
yourself out there and try to talk. Just life just
rewards you for doing shit. I love it. I love it. SKIP.
Thanks for this was a great email to end on
this guy's friends now, because yeah, we had a bunch

(01:19:38):
of other emailers who were like, I don't know how
to make friends. I don't know what to do. Do
do something crazy, you know you're gonna die, should do
something anyway? Well, okay, I kind of I feel like
I black out when I do these, and I'm like,
now I'm and I'm like, I don't even know what

(01:19:59):
the hell I just record, and I'm gonna put on
I don't know what I just recorded, and I'm going
to put on the internet, but I it's too late.
So that was gek mail. Thank you guys for listening.
I'm about to go. I'm actually I'm in a half hour.
I'm going to the airport because I'm going to the
gathering of the Juggalos to do some interviews, do my

(01:20:22):
I'm gonna do a Gecko i RL episode there, and
I think I'm gonna try to make another I made
I made. I made that Japan video, I made my
Tijuana video. I'm working on another video and then I'm
gonna shoot something at the gathering that I'm excited for
that'll be awesome. See, I'm That's what I'm trying to do.

(01:20:44):
I'm just trying to do shit. I'm just trying to
if I just keep doing ship and making I'll tell
you guys something. My all my like Gecko views or
whatever are like down, which is like, and it's been
five years. It's not like the craziest thing in the world.
But so I'm like, okay, you know, what do I

(01:21:05):
What do I do now? I want to keep doing shit?
So I swimming. I'm just gonna keep doing shit. I'm
gonna go to the gathering of the Juggalos, I'm gonna
go to Kenya, I'm gonna go to Alaska. Just do shit.
Interview people, just make videos, put them on the internet,
you know. I mean when I made that, I made
this like video about having an existential crisis in Japan,
I didn't think people would resonate with it. I thought

(01:21:27):
it was just gonna kind of, you know, be me
whining for a bit and die. And then I posted
it and a bunch of people were really into it.
So and I would have never known and It was
the first video I posted in a while that was
not Geko related. It was just me and there was
I didn't have a strategy behind it, and it was

(01:21:47):
just just doing things.

Speaker 3 (01:21:48):
You just do.

Speaker 1 (01:21:49):
Shit in the Universe awards too. So anyway, thank you
guys for listening. I hope you enjoyed this. I hope
you like. Uh. I hope. I hope you're doing all right.
I hope, I hope. I hope this was beneficial to
listen to. If you want to be on the next
get mail, send me an email at therapy geckomail at
gmail dot com. And if you sent me an email

(01:22:11):
and I didn't read it in this episode, I just
have a backlog of emails, so I might get to
your email, I might read an I might read your
email in seven months if you send it right now.
But I you know, I try to read read all
of them. So Therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com.
I'm a gecko. I'll be back. What let's see if
this gets posted on Sunday, the next episode will be

(01:22:34):
an I r L. Yeah, that's it. I'm a gecko
or or a person or a thing. Thanks for listening. Okay,
I'm gonna shut up. Bye, thank you, thanks for listening.
And it goes on the line taking your phone calls
every nine, everything, and goes to just teaching your line

(01:22:58):
an expert

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Lyle Drescher

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