GECKMAIL: POLYAMOROUS BIRDS

I am reading viewer mail and ranting. Again. Emails include themes of pranks, morality, polyamory relationships, building amusement park rides, killing a pigeon, self-worth, societal pressures, cake frosting snack hacks, and a bunch of other things that I hope you enjoy hearing about but I won’t be too upset if you do not. I am a gecko. Hail Satan. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hi, what's up. Welcome to gek Mail. It is
a show where I a Gecko, read mail and rant
to myself. It's a lonely, desolate, single person podcast. Normally,
on my podcast, I talk to other people, I talk

(00:20):
to strangers on the phone, and there's a back and forth,
there's a dialogue. But here there's a monologue and I'm
just gonna rant and read viewer mails. If you want
to send an email, you can send it to therapy
geckomail at gmail dot com. I just kinda keep a

(00:41):
rolling a bunch of emails that I check. I really
like doing this version of the show. I've realized that
I'm really I'm trying to have I think, the least
controversial pod cast that exists. I want no hot takes.

(01:05):
I want to talk as little as That's what I've
been enjoying about the way that I normally do my
show is that I get to talk as little as possible.
I just kind of get to sit there while other
people talk. And I don't know. I guess it's because
I don't want to say anything, because if you say
stuff on the internet, people like get mad at you

(01:25):
and stuff, and I don't know, that's a more peaceful
way to live. Not doing I really struggle with this.
Not doing anything or saying anything ever is definitely the
most peaceful way to go. It's definitely if you want
to maximize your peace of mind, you just throughout your

(01:49):
life never do or say anything to anyone ever. That's
the way to do it. And so that's what that's
what I've It's kind of the train that I've been on.
It's maybe I should just stop doing things or saying things.
But then again, I don't know what kind of life
is that. That's a u pr version of yourself and

(02:13):
you're kind of diluted down to nothing. But I don't know.
I think the optimal way to live it's probably somewhere
within that. It's probably somewhere within saying stuff and not
saying anything. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm
trying to figure out what's the optimal amount of things

(02:36):
to do and say. Where you're putting yourself out there,
you're putting you want to put yoursel me. This is
for just for me. I want to put myself out
there just enough so that I can meaningfully so just
enough so that I can have like just meaningful enough
of a life without being too vulnerable, that's all. It's

(03:00):
probably a stupid thing to do. Don't listen to anything
that I ever say. I'm go listen to fucking don't
listen to anything anyone else ever says either. Never listen
to anything. Everyone says, don't listen to this podcast. Don't
listen to any other podcast. Go outside and just look
at the sky and eat grilled chicken and then die.

(03:25):
That's the final piece of advice I will ever give
on this podcast. Ook or maybe not? Okay, all right,
let's read some view or mail, shall we? All right?
This one comes from Daniel and the subject line is urgent.
I know this isn't the best way to find out,
but I just wanted you to know that arch and
nemesis Basketball Dan has passed away on May fifth of

(03:52):
this year. What the fuck I am now? Just Dan?
Sometimes Daniel professionally, I love you, and I hope the
memory of Basketball Dan disappears from my memory because he's dead. Now, Okay,
I'm not I don't have time to give context to this.
Let's do another one, all right, m yeah, yeah, okay, okay,

(04:19):
but no one died. I don't think I think this
is I think this guy Daniel used to be basketball
Dan and now he's just Dan. So no one died.
No one died, all right? This is from Odyssey subject line.
I tricked my ex friends into giving me ASMR hey

(04:43):
GEK So like this. One time last year, I randomly
remembered the egg that my mom used to do when
I was little. What is the egg? It's where you
tap on someone's kneecap a couple times with your fist
and then spread your fingers and pushed lightly down on
their knee and it feels weird. So I did it

(05:04):
to my friend and he thought it was weird. So
it started this whole thing of us randomly doing it
to each other. But I think we all secretly liked
it and didn't want each other to know. They have
since become racist, and I moved States because nobody liked
me because I still hung out with them even though
they were racist, and I didn't realize until they learned slurs. Okay,

(05:29):
whoever wrote this email is probably in middle school. I
have no idea what this is, and I'm gonna read
a different email. You know. What I've noticed is that
here's another thing about Gekmel for those of you who
listened to the whole show, is that I like, I'm

(05:50):
thinking about starting to do it once a week, because
you know, in the regular show where I'm talking to people,
I think you guys can probably tell I'm a lot spicier,
a lot of I'm a much spicier version of myself
in gek Mail. I think it's because, like, like, I
don't wanna First of all, I don't really like get

(06:10):
off on being mean. I don't really like I don't
want to be like a mean guy. But even if
like I wanted to, It's like when you're when you
have feedback from another human being, it influences the way
that you act. So like if somebody if I'm talking
to someone on the phone and they say something and

(06:31):
I think, in my head, that's really fucking stupid that
you just said that, I'm not gonna I'll think that
in my head and then I'll take a second to
take that thought and push it through a more filter,
it through a more productive lens, because I don't I
act genuinely in my soul. I don't think just saying

(06:51):
to this person you're a fucking idiot is helpful. I
don't think it's helpful, so I filter it and I'm like, Okay,
what's a helpful what's a more helpful thing to say.
I don't do that because I don't want to hurt
their feelings. I do that because I want I want
if I'm having a conversation with this person, I want
to be genuinely helpful in that moment. But here I'm

(07:12):
just a truly, truly, truly alone in a room, and
so saying that's fucking stupid is something I'm more likely
to say. But I also don't I also am I
also don't like that because I say and think and
do so many stupid things that I don't like being judgmental,

(07:37):
I know for a lot of reasons, but one of
them just being that any judgment I could make upon
someone else, they could easily make on me. So with
the why am I? Who am I to sit on
my podcast and call someone say that someone is stupid?
But then again, it's cathartic, it feels good. That's the

(07:58):
problem with judgment. I genuinely think we live in a
very judgmental society and it's a problem, but we do.
We live in this judgmental society because it feels so
good to call someone a fucking idiot. It really like
something in the central nervous system that dopamine just gets released.

(08:22):
But this, you know, same thing happens when you do heroin.
So I don't know. I'm gonna I'm let's just let's
keep reading emails and I'm just gonna keep saying stuff. Okay.
This is from Stephen, subject line, A question on my mind,
Dear therapy Gecko. Is everything one thing? Sincerely, Steve. Okay,

(08:53):
I was about to say no, everything are different things,
but now I'm thinking about it because if everything, because
a group of things, could be considered one thing, Like
if you have a bag of stones, the bag is

(09:15):
one thing, but all the stones are several things. Okay,
So by that logic, I'm gonna say, if you put
everything in a bag, it would be one thing. But
everything on its own is a combination of a bunch
of things, so if you put it in a bag,

(09:35):
it's one thing. Okay. This is from Mario. Subject line,
I'm in love with a Polly, but I'm mono. Hello,
mister Ghek, I have strong feelings for a girl that

(09:57):
is Polly she was in an open relationship, but she
ended it a couple months ago. That's when she started
dating me. She told me from the beginning that she
is Polly, but I was really drunk and I didn't
think much of it. We've been dating for three to
four months. I chose to take a break from her
because I was getting really overwhelmed and insecure. She says

(10:20):
she has strong feelings for me too, but I've began
to develop trust issues. I start therapy tomorrow because of
this and other things. There's more to the story, but
I'm trying to keep it short. What are your thoughts
on this and what I should do? Best regards Ben, ps,
don't use my real name. Just say Ben please? All right? Well, okay,

(10:46):
from now on, if you want me to use your
real to not use your real name, email me from
an account that is that doesn't have your real name
in it, or say it, or say to use a
fake name in the beginning of the email and not
in the end of the email. Because if you say,
if you don't, all right, what should you do? Well? Ah,

(11:11):
here's the thing is, if you this girl being Polly,
this seems to be a this seems to be a
fundamental thing about the way that this girl views her
relationships and wants to live. And I chose to take
a break of because because being really insecure, are you well,

(11:36):
I mean, what's your feelings about Polly? Because you don't
I think the idea of you forcing yourself into a
polyamorous relationship just because you like this girl, I don't
know if I I don't know if that's a good idea,
because that's like a very fundamental value that is off

(12:00):
between you two. We've been doating for three or four months,
so I'm curious what those three four months have been like.
So I would say, what should you do? Oh, well,
you can't ask her to not Here's the thing. I
don't think you could ask her to be monogamous with you,
And I don't think you could ask yourself to be

(12:22):
polyamorous with her. If you really really wanted to, you
could start dating other girls and see how you feel.
But I did, You're not. I'm not even getting a
sense that you want to do that. So that that's

(12:42):
all I would say is that you can't just in
just in the way that I would say that you
can't force this girl to be monogamous you can't force
yourself to be polyamorous. And uh and next time, if
you have a fake dame, put it in the top
of the email, not the front. What's the chat think?
Let's see someone in this Someone in the chat says

(13:04):
I had this exact scenario. I accepted it to begin with,
but it was the worst few months of my life.
We ended it eventually, and it was the best decision
I made to split up. Well, there we go. Someone said,
what's a polly? All right, let's see here. This is
from Georgia. Subject line is roller coasters. Hi, Gek, I

(13:28):
met you in Manchester last year and we had a
great talk about roller coasters. Thank you for taking the
time to indulge me. I wanted to share that I
finally reached my dream of being a roller coaster engineer
and I design new ride systems. Now that's awesome. I'm
not gonna lie. I've never experienced a greater existential crisis
because I no longer have a goal to strive for

(13:49):
that powers me through the burdens of life. I only
ever dreamed of getting the job, but I never thought
about after because I really didn't think I would get
this far. My job is fucking cool. Though, What do
I do to find purpose? Again? Thanks Georgia, this is
a fascinating query. First of all, congrats on becoming a
real life roller coaster tycoon. That's awesome. This is something

(14:12):
I'm struggling with myself. I mean, I have other goals.
My goal now is to get jacked, which I don't
actually like talking about on the podcast because I think
you get a little hitted. You're a little hitted dopamine
or whatever every time you tell someone your goals, and
then that kind of makes you want to do them less.
But whatever, I'm getting jack, it's happening anyway. Enough about me,

(14:36):
What do I do to find purpose? Again? Well, well,
don't don't you find purpose in doing the job? Do
you not have a roller coaster that you've been dreaming
up in your brain that you want to do? Can
you not? Like? Are you like I want to make

(14:56):
a triple loop, de loop or dupe and eventually get there?
What's a roller coaster tycoon's career path look like? Oh,
but you open up your own roller coaster, a kid
dies on one of your things, and you go bankrupt.
That could be you. You could have something. I'm just
saying you will have more events happen in your life.

(15:19):
You know, what do I do to find purpose? Again?
Do you have any friends? Friends provide purpose? Uh? Yeah,
I guess I would say. I guess I would say
that you can get into Ferris Wheels. Maybe why don't

(15:40):
you you design new rises? And now doesn't? Okay, So
here's what I here's the thing as a roller coaster
engineer and you're constantly making new roller coasters. Isn't each
roller coaster in and of itself a goal? Isn't each
project present itself with a goal? Because the purpose it's

(16:04):
like it's like when you get like like when comedians
get Saturday Night Live, right, and like getting Saturday Night Live.
Getting the roller coaster engineer job wasn't the hard part.
The hard part is now that you're in the role,
how are you You gotta get your sketches on the air?
You got your roller coasters in Disneyland or however the

(16:25):
fuck that works? And so why don't you just focus
on thriving within the job Once you don't. I don't
know how old you are, but once you see what
other ever, you know the people you work with who
are in their fifties or whatever. What are they doing?
Can you ascribe to that? And then you just keep
ascribing to new heights and purposes and achieving goals and

(16:51):
then you die and it's great. That was really sad.
I've I think I've been feeling excess essential lately, and
it's bleeding into everything that I do. I'm really trying
to find, you know, Georgia, I'm trying to find purpose again.
It's depressing. I'm like, see, I'm like talking to people,

(17:12):
not on the show, but just in real life, Like
I I I'll talk to someone. I think I told,
I think I did I tell. I think I told
the story already of how I was going to ride
a roller coaster, and then I didn't because I was like, oh,
it's just gonna be over. That's that happens, not with
people now. Like I'll be at a bar and I'm
talking to someone and I'll be like, I don't why

(17:36):
am I talking to you right now? It's it's it's exhausting,
and I don't know if I'm never going to see
you again. Don't don't let don't let any of this
happen to you, Georgia, Georgia, you know what Georgia, Please,
dear God, you're don't don't let don't let yourself become

(17:58):
existential and crazy. Find joy in the little things. Move
on to Ferris Wheels. Ferris Wheels are good too. What's
the chat say? Someone said, that's just your midlife crisis
talking GHEK. Well, I'm about I'm twenty seven, so hopefully

(18:21):
I don't die at the age of fifty two. I
think that math sounds right. Someone said, yeah, a bunch
of people are saying, that's just depression. Is that depression?

(18:41):
Oh shit? All right, maybe I'm depressed. All right, Well, okay,
well that's fine. All right. This is from Tucker. Subject line, Lyle,
I need your sage wisdom. Tucker says, Lyle, you're such
a model of men's health. Are there any tips you

(19:03):
can share for losing weight? I think listening to you
has made me a better person. Thank you for being you.
I truly hope, I hope you are truly being you.
Thank you Tucker for asking me how to lose weight,
even though I am probably about forty pounds overweight, but

(19:24):
I'm trying. I'm actually act genuinely I'm yeah, fuck it,
I'm just gonna I said, I was gonna talk about
it on the top ry the thing now. So so
I've been doing the Gecko for like four and a
half years, and for those four and a half years,
I really I was looking at a picture of myself
when I first started, and I was really skinny. And

(19:44):
over the four and a half years that I was
doing Gecko, nothing in my life mattered to me other
than being a gecko on the internet, you know, trying
to be Internet famous, trying to you know, get people
to listen to my show, you know, making sure I
upload three clips a week, streaming and clipping and and

(20:07):
and selling tickets to my tour, and doing my tour,
and and and traveling all around and and and embracing
a life of novelty and this and that and the
other thing, and just every everything career wise and novelty
wise mattered to me, and uh way more than my health.
And as a result, they gained like fifty pounds something

(20:28):
crazy like that. And now that I've gotten to a
point with this show where I'm like, if the amount
of people that currently listen to this is the same
amount of people that currently listen to it for as
long as it exists. I'm so happy about that. And

(20:50):
I have successfully completed two and a half tours around
the world. And so my my draw for more and
more and more and more and more of that is
a dissipating and now my drive is like fucking the

(21:12):
counting calories and going to the gym and all that stuff,
and like that's what I really care about the most
right now is doing that stuff. And I mean tips
for losing weight. I don't know. I'm like, I'm fasting
and exercising. That's it. That's all you do is you'd

(21:32):
eat less and you go to the gym and hopefully
it makes you better. But I guess caring any tips
you can share for losing weight giving caring, the only
time I ever lost weight is when I cared about
losing weight. All the other times, well, you know, that's

(21:55):
the tip on how to do anything. You can apply
that to anything. Anything that you you actually genuinely care
about doing, you'll do. And then the stuff that you don't,
the stuff that you don't really care about and you're
subconscious will tell you what you actually care about. You
can consciously pretend like you care about certain things, but

(22:18):
your actions throughout your life will tell you what you
actually care about, and so just I don't know, and
pay attention to what you care about. And if you
give a shit about losing weight, then you know, eat
less and move more and then you'll lose weight. I'll
let you know if it works for me. So one said,

(22:43):
I've lost thirty months. I've lost thirty pounds in three
months and I eat tons and tons of low calorie foods.
Is thirty pounds in three month? Three months? Is that healthy?
I don't know. This is not the This is not
the what's the name of that go to? That guy's name?

(23:08):
Andrew Huberman is not the Andrew Human podcast. But I
don't know anyway, Okay, uh okay, please, okay. This person
wrote don't name me? All right, I'm gonna call you. You
know what. Here's what bothers me, though, is that some
of these people like I'll get a fucking email from

(23:30):
a guy named Brian and he's like, please don't name me,
And I'm like, you, you know, how many Brian How
many Brian's are I'm gonna google this right now. How
many people named Brian Brian are alive in the world? Okay?

(23:53):
Wick up? Google says there's not much information about how
many people named Brian are alive in the world. Okay,
all right, anyway, I was trying to make a point.
Who cares, I'm gonna read this guy, Okay, high gek.
I've been thinking about a moral dilemma I experienced a
couple of years ago. I work a job that sometimes
involves animals, birds, lizards, bees, and sometimes rabbits. I save

(24:15):
them whenever I can, but most of the time they're
dead before I arrive. I have saved one pigeon and
close to one hundred bees and a couple of lizards.
One day, I found a pigeon in shock, bleeding with
a broken wing. I wasn't sure what to do. I
googled what happens to birds with broken wings or birds

(24:38):
in shock, and I read that they almost always die.
I didn't think an animal sanctuary would take a pigeon,
as most people consider pigeons to be rats of the sky.
I wanted to put it out of its misery, but
I didn't have a lot to work with, and I
couldn't leave it in the customer's backyard. I ended up
taking a brick from the bed of my truck and
dropping it on the pigeon's head. It broke its neck immediately,

(25:02):
and the bird seemed to have one second of pain
as it freaked out, but then went limp. I genuinely
feel terrible, but I thought a bird with a broken
wing and in shocks should probably be put down. What
would you have done in my situation? Am I a
bad person? Cheers? Wow? Well, I don't think you're a
bad person, Brian, because you're correct that most people consider

(25:24):
pigeons they're acts of the sky. And I live in
New York, and if a pigeon with a broken wing
was writhing on the side of a sidewalk, hundreds and one,
hundreds and hundreds and truly hundreds of people would walk by,
not even noticing that pigeon. So you're at least a

(25:48):
better person than all of those theoretical people. Shit, man,
I don't know a bit. That's a tough situation for
you to be in. That's a tough situation for you
to be in, because what were your other right what
were your other options? It's like an animal sanctuary. You're right,

(26:08):
is probably not gonna take a pigeon. You could have
just walked away, But then the pigeon would have just
suffered and died. Uh, you don't. I don't assume you
know how to do surgery on a pigeon. It's probably true.
I'm gonna you know, let me google this. What happens
to birds with broken wings or birds in shock. Let's

(26:34):
see here. Birds go into shock very easily when injured
and often die from shock. Yeah, yeah that, yeah, yeah,
I know. I'm googling this too. That bird, that bird
was fucked. That bird was very fucked. Yeah, that bird

(26:58):
was gonna die if you walked away, and uh, there
was no real way to do anything. So yeah, you
put that you you had to be the executioner. I
don't know why our Lord put you in that situation
where you had to put down that bird, But I
don't know if I can. I even think the fact

(27:19):
that you care this much does not make you a
bad part. The fact that you care this much about
whether or not you're a bad person for putting this
pigeon out of your misery makes me believe that you
were not a bad person. Brian, I forget if your
name was Brian, but also just the fact that you
were I don't know why. I'm the fact that you
were like in all caps. At the beginning of this email,

(27:43):
you wrote, don't name me as if you're get You're
not going to go to prison. I'll tell you that much.
You could have you could have killed. You could have
on purpose killed hundreds and hundreds of pigeons and you.
I don't know how do animal abuse laws work in
this country. There's gotta be like I think, if you
just kill a random pigeon, you're I don't think you

(28:05):
can go to jail or anything bad's gonna happen to you.
But it's gotta be a number. How many pigeons do
you have to go out of your way to kill
before they at least tell you to stop. You're not
gonna go to prison for putting this pigeon out of
your misery. Let yourself go to sleep tonight. Brian, you're

(28:25):
a fine bloke. Let's see here. Okay, this is from John.
Subject line is am I ruining my life for good?
Or making it significantly better? What's up? Lyle euro fan? Here?

(28:46):
My name is John. It's not my real name. You
can just call me any way you want. I'm gonna
call you John. I'm twenty eight and I am in
a curious situation. I've been studying to become a high
school teacher for the past six years, past everything with a's,
and now I'm to take the national examination to work
in public schools. The thing is, the exam is extremely

(29:06):
difficult and it normally takes three to five years to pass,
and me being broke, I had to move back in
with my parents. They have several issues and treat me
really bad. I have to do all the chores and
take care of everything while I am being verbally abused.
I feel unable to prepare for the exams in this

(29:28):
environment and this is hat a deep impact on my
physical and mental health. So wanting to get out, I
discovered I could take a similar examination, but way easier
doable in one year to become a train dispatcher, sell
train tickets or even become a postal worker. Do I
like those jobs now particularly? But I like that they

(29:51):
give me the opportunity to break away from this toxicity,
and I feel like I deserve it. What do you
guys think? Is it worth it to give up on
your professional career and abandon your family only just for
an easy fix. Note that the teachers get paid really well.
Out here, and any of the jobs I mentioned are
full time for life jobs. This feels like a lifetime choice.

(30:13):
I am a bit stubborn and don't usually follow advice,
so don't feel pressured. Okay, I like that. Hmm, Okay,
hold on, Okay, here's the thing, John, You're coming to
a lot of conclusions that I don't necessarily understand. There's
a lot of conclusions that you are making in this
email that I don't understand. So it seems as though

(30:37):
your don you want to become a high school teacher
and you got to pass this exam. But you're like, okay,
the path to me. Okay, So you're like, all right,
let me. Let me lay out John's life and all
the variables of it. John needs a job so he
can make money so he can get out of his parents'
house because his parents are crazy. And John is gunning

(31:03):
for this job that he really wants. But if in
order to get this job, he's got to stay for
longer in his parents' apartment or whatever, and he could
get a job quicker, leave your parents' house quicker, but
it's not the job he wants. But John, I don't understand.
Here's what I understand. Why don't you just if you

(31:24):
really are like, okay, I'll just take anything just to
be able to get out of my parents' house. Why
don't you fucking do the postal working job or the
train dispatch a job and then on the side study
for your exam? Are you not allowed to do that?
Why does you wrote in the email you wrote, this

(31:45):
feels like a lifetime choice. Why. Here's That's the part
I don't understand is why you feel like this is
a long term choice because you're twenty eight. You could
go work as the trained professor for two years and
meanwhile study for the exam. So I the thing that

(32:06):
I am getting from this email that's standing out to
me is I don't understand why this is a lifetime
choice for you. And you say you're stubborn and you
don't follow advice, So the is this being a lifetime
choice because of your stubbornness? Somebody that Chad said stick

(32:29):
it out? Why don't you just yeah, it's okay. Why
don't you just get a job that will pay you
enough that you can get out of your fucking parents'
house because you clearly hate that, and then study to
be a teacher. On the side. You're a euro you

(32:52):
said you're a European fan. Where in Europe are you?
I'm curious because public's working as a public school high
scho teacher is from all accounts, horrible. That's what people say.
But I wonder if I don't know if it's as horrible.
Maybe I'm wondering if it's as horrible in Europe. Usually

(33:14):
in Europe things are just kind of a little better.
But I don't know. That's why i'd say to you, John,
is truly, truly, truly pick apart with yourself and examine
why you've believed this is a lifetime choice and why
you refuse to view your life as a long term
thing in which you can. You can do many things.

(33:38):
Humans are are multifaceted. They can they can drive trains,
they can teach high school, and they can they can
eat crackers. Okay, this is from This is from the

(34:00):
other person doesn't want me to say their name. I'm
gonna call a I'm gonna call you Jordan. I hate Okay.
This is from Jordan's subject line is disgruntled pizza manager.
I hate my job. I want to quit, but I
can't get away with the shit that I do anywhere else.

(34:20):
I enjoy drinking at work, but that's only because they
make me work long hours. I like to smoke dabs
into the ovens, and the second I clock out, I
immediately go buy more alcohol. I okay, I need to
stop drinking. I think I solved my own problem. I've
been caught drinking at work a few times, but never
been fired. I left a bottle in the bathroom lmao. Anyways,

(34:42):
I'm writing this to you drunk at work. I've talked
to you on the phone about baby trapping. My happy
and adorable dad has stopped saying I baby trapped him,
and now he wants another Okay, oh Jordan, Oh no,

(35:02):
oh man. Alcohol is a crazy thing. I really, Uh.
Life is so crazy because it's so fucking difficult for
so many people that were like, let's get really fucked
up so that we don't have to live in reality.

(35:23):
And I understand the attractiveness of that. I have indulged
in in that before. It's nice. Getting really fucked up
to avoid reality can be nice. But I just I
don't know, Jordan. I don't know you, but if I

(35:44):
could say anything to you, I would say that I
know you cannot possibly understand it right now in your
brain that is fogged up with stress and depression and
fucking whatever else, right, whatever it is that you're using
alcohol to escape from. When your brain is in a

(36:07):
dense mental fog, it cannot possibly understand or comprehend the
idea that things can change and get better. And so I,
just as an outsider observing this situation, I would say
to you, Jordan, I hope that you start to I

(36:33):
hope that you start to find it, find yourself worthy
of a life that you like enough that you don't
have to get fucked up all the time to avoid.
I mean, you have a child, and you have another,

(36:56):
you have a guy who is romantically related to you
in some way. You have things to live for, things
that would be enjoyed better if you weren't getting sucked
up all the time. So I don't know. I don't
know what the first step is to doing that, but

(37:16):
I hope you take it. Maybe go to anaa meeting
or see a therapist. I wonder about pizza shop you
work at. I like pizza. Okay, alright, this is from Skurgel,

(37:38):
subject line beautiful true Love. Hello, I am Skurgelmeyer gees
some who cares on precisely. February tenth, twenty twenty four,
at seven pm, I looked at my longtime best friend
since elementary school leaning against a pillar, and I fell

(38:01):
madly in love with them and realized I am a
massive homosexual. It took me eight months of thinking about
that to tell them those feelings. While I did so
with the intent of them surely turning me down so
I could stop constantly thinking about them, they responded by
informing me that they really, really desperately wanted me to

(38:24):
be their boyfriend once their life stopped being in a
massive chaotic uproar. That was two months ago. I constantly
think about them and my memories with them, what I
want to do with them, how I miss them, and
what I might do with them. All right, you don't
have to get that spicy, but or do I don't care.
I don't know when I might ever be able to

(38:47):
be with them. Even when I'm focused on something else,
I inevitably start thinking about my memories with them again.
Is it even moral to like a person this much?
Am I delusional and insane? I go wailing hashtag let
me know you're not insane. You're not insane. This is

(39:10):
what happens when you fall in love is you go
a little insane, You get a little you got you
go when you when you're just fucking so attracted to
someone and sew into them, you go delusional and you
go insane, and you do stupid things and make bad decisions,

(39:31):
and you try to talk and you try to convince
yourself that you're actually not delusional and you're not insane,
but you are. You're not acting in of logic. I think.
I think I'm no scientist, but I think it's like
a drug, like infatuation. Right, It's like a drug of

(39:58):
some kind and causes you to you become an addict
and then you go insane. Now here's what I don't
understand is, uh, this person was like, I want you
to be my boyfriend, but this person is basically like,
I like you too, I want you to be my boyfriend,
but my life is a little crazy right now. Right,

(40:21):
I want you to be my boyfriend, but my life
is a little crazy right now. And uh, my you
as my boyfriend, I can't have you be my boyfriend
while my life is crazy. And so you're gonna sit there,
and you are going to wait, you know, wait, you

(40:44):
know wait, and every day you look at your phone
and you wait for the text, Hey, my life is
no longer crazy, so come be my boyfriend. But you
don't know when that's gonna be, Scurgle, You don't know
when that's gonna be. I got I, I got I
got I got I got an idea for you, Skurgle.
What if this person's life is crazy forever as all

(41:10):
of our lives are, what are you gonna do? Skurgle.
You're gonna sit wait forever. You're gonna be a skeleton
with a crush. I understand holding out hope, especially when
this person this person also, it's specially especially when it's like, oh,
this is a life circumstantial thing. If now, if you

(41:31):
had told me that this person was like I just
don't like you, but who knows, maybe I will, then
I would say it or not that you know, to
move on. Are you still allowing yourself to be available
to other people, is my question? Or are you really
holding out? Are you like saying, are you are you

(41:51):
not pursuing other romantic endeavors because of this person? Don't
do that. Sometimes that's the thing takes solace in this
right sometimes genuine by the way this person. I know
that some people might be like, oh, this person actually
doesn't like scruggle their life, just genuinely their they And

(42:15):
you know, there's the whole concept of like, if they
wanted to, they would, which I actually like ninety nine
percent believe that if if someone wanted to that they
would like this person. When it comes like the imbalance
that occurs in romantic relationships, I think this person likes you,

(42:38):
they don't like you enough to uh move their life
around for you, and you clearly like them enough that
you would move across the country to be with them.
And that just happens in these fucking things. Is that
this is just you're always going to deal with some

(43:00):
level of inequitable investment in each other. In a beautiful,
perfect world, two people meet who have exactly the same
amount of investment in each other and they have a baby,
and they get married forever and then they die. But
should you go whaling? Yeah, well no, would you? Why

(43:22):
did you go whaling? Don't kill a whale. I'm not
making a joke. I think that's what you meant. Is
it moral to like a person? This much. That's what
you said. Yeah, I don't think it's I mean, unless

(43:44):
if they're a child, I don't think they are. Am
I delusional and insane? That those are the questions you are?
I forget what I said earlier. I forget if I
said that you were or you weren't. But I think
you are. You are delusional and you are insane. But

(44:04):
being delusional and insane is a normal is a natural
human experience. It's a natural response to these feelings. So
you are delusional and insane, but you're not off course
of the typical human experience in your delusions and your insanity,

(44:29):
unless if you are, Unless if this person is not real,
then that would be abnormal and you should talk to
a psychiatrist. Okay, I don't know if any of what
I just said was helpful, but I'm gonna read another
email unless if the chat has anything to say. Someone said,

(44:50):
this person is just keeping you on the sidelines kind of.
Someone said, yeah, that my life is too crazy right
now thing. I don't buy the here's here's what, but
my life is too crazy right now? Could mean a
could just mean that this person doesn't like you. It
either means this person doesn't like you, or they do
like you, they just don't like you enough to make

(45:11):
time for you. Which is a hard pill to swallow,
but it must be done alrighty as this is from eSeL.

(45:33):
Subject line is the societal pressure of becoming something. Hey, Lyle,
I wanted to talk to you about this constant pressure
I feel to become wildly successful and my internal debate
over whether this is a feeling I was born with
or something that was brainwashed into me by the hustle
culture we find ourselves in. Oh I like this, Okay.

(45:55):
I am a twenty one year old male from Amsterdam,
and lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure sure
to become successful, not just in a hopeful way, but
also in a stressful way. On the one hand, I
feel like I have to try because I really do
want to build something for myself, my family and my
loved ones. I want to be proud to have built

(46:15):
something and pat myself on the shoulder and say I
really built that. On the other hand, I feel like
this is just something that was printed into my mind.
I feel like, especially as a young man Andrew tate
E comm hustlers, etc. You get told that you have
to become rich. Oh, you will be a forgettable loser
until you die and vanish into nothingness. Would you say

(46:37):
these feelings are internally created or externally created? Have you
experienced this pressures? How do you deal with them? Would
you say that this has partially influenced you into starting
your podcast. Have a happy New Year, Best wishes, Salah. Ps.
English is not my first language, so forget any grammical
mistakes I have made. Feel free to mention my name

(47:00):
or not. I don't care this guy's name is. This
guy has like a unique name, and he's like, I
don't mention my name. I don't give a fuck. Meanwhile,
all the John's of the world are like, don't say
don't say my name anyway? All right? I love this email.
I really I I feel pressure right now to give
a good response to this email because I really want to,

(47:20):
because I totally get where this person is coming from.
And I actually feel like I have pretty good perspective
now on this issue because I've been wanting to be
successful for my whole life. I mean since I started.

(47:41):
I started making videos and movies and doing comedy and shit.
When I was like, you know, fucking fifteen, and I
always wanted to be successful in it. And now you know,
twelve years later, I've experienced a success in that I
have this podcast that people listen to and and I
go on this tour and I know what that So

(48:05):
I kind of know what material success looks like. And
I'm still on a journey with it, but I've totally
began to understand that it is not the It does

(48:27):
not solve every problem that you maybe think it would solve.
And I have a new perspective on it. And so
let's see, let me answer all these questions at once.
Would you say these feelings are internally created or externally created?
I think it's a little bit of both. I think yes,
since I think some people do have like ambition and

(48:48):
entrepreneurial spirit, you know, genuinely within them. Maybe it's like
a trait that they inherited from their family, or it's
just within them, and they they understand life to be
a fragile thing and they want more out of their

(49:08):
lives than themselves. And I don't think there's anything wrong
with wanting to be successful and wanting to, you know,
build a life that you're proud of, right, Like the
feelings that you're feeling. I don't think are bad ones,

(49:28):
at least from the way that you've talked about them,
like the like this this line in your email. I
want to be proud to have built something for myself
and pat myself on the shoulder and say, I really
built that. So here's what's so okay, okay this It
has now come to me this whole like internal versus
external thing. If you want to be successful because you

(49:53):
because you feel like you know whatever, Andrew Tait or
or some fucking guy on Instagram has a cool car
and you want to show off to people, and you
want to be successful because you want other people to
respect you, you will learn that other people, whether you're

(50:15):
successful or not, don't really give that much of a
fuck about you and your family and your friends. Ideally,
if you have the right ones will love you and
be your friend whether or not you're successful. All of
my good friends in my life right now are pretty

(50:37):
much people I met before I became successful, and they
all treat me exactly the same. Becoming successful as an
internet guy has not. I still feel all the same
feelings in the universe, and I still get pissed off
of my friends and my friends get pissed off of

(50:58):
you know how, it's just how it goes in that world.
Nothing changes in that world. Your friends will not look
at you any differently before or after success. And also, ultimately,
like the kind of the people who would look at
you differently after being successful are not like them, are

(51:23):
They're not like the main main, main people in your
life will be ultimately unaffected. I believe by this, So
it's a stupid and also and also having people like
admire you or admire your stuff is worth is kind
of not worth anything. So that's a bad reason to

(51:48):
want to be successful. Conversely, for me, one of the
things that has been really great about having had a
scessful thing is that if I died tomorrow, I really
could feel like I lived my life to the fullest
and I tried. You know. So, what you're talking about, like, uh,

(52:15):
wanting to be successful in something because of this internal
desire to have tried and to have to have built
something that you're just internally proud of, I think is good.

(52:36):
And you said, have I experienced these pressures and would
I say that this has partially influenced you in starting
your own podcast? Yeah? I think when it comes to
like I think, I just like I've always kind of
been ambitious and wanted more out of my life. And uh,
I that that those pressures, the societal pressures and the

(52:58):
internal pressures that you're talking talking about, definitely influence. I
think if it wasn't therapy Gecko, it would have been
something I would have started. And I had, you know,
endeavors that I was doing stand up and making movies
and I started a little comedy club and I was
doing stuff before I did this, And if this wasn't
the thing that took off, I would have kept doing
things until something was successful or took off, just because

(53:23):
you know, that's was just kind of always in me.
But again, now that the thing has took taken off
and now none of that, if at the time to
kind of reflect, I've learned that really the only things
that matter are like the people around you and what
you're actually doing right, Because if you want to if

(53:46):
you're like, oh, I'm gonna get rich by like doing
real estate, you can have all the money in the world,
but you're still spending your life doing real estate. Do
you like real estate? You know? Then there's like, okay,
well let me make a whole bunch of money in

(54:06):
real estate so that I can do my true passion,
or even just fucking let me get a normal ass
job so I can have enough money left over to
do my actual passion, which is a perfectly legitimate way
to live life too. I feel like I've just been
ranting for a while. I'm trying to. I'm trying to.

(54:28):
I just I love this subject because I feel like
I've had a lot of different kind of perspectives on it.
But yeah, just make sure, like when you say you
want to be, when you say you want to become something, Salah,
just make sure that whatever it is that you're doing
to become something, make sure that to make sure two

(54:51):
things of whatever it is that you're doing to become something. One,
make sure that you really fucking like doing it, and
then to make sure that you're doing it with people
you really like. Okay, because after a certain point like those,
I've just learned that those are the only two things

(55:12):
that matter. Just make sure that you really like what
you're doing and that you're doing it with people that
you like. And then like, as long as you have
enough money to fucking uh not die, you're fine. You're
something right then and there. I also think the idea
of like becoming something like you're something right now, you're

(55:35):
a human being. We all fucking will we will, like
this line you have in here where you're like, you
have to either become rich or you will be a
forgettable loser until you die and vanish into nothingness. Guess what,
We're all going to be forgettable and die and vanish
into nothingness. No one really cares that much about us.
You could be Donald Trump and live in a period

(55:57):
of time on the earth where everyone says your name
every two seconds, but eventually he's gonna fucking die and
be forgotten, and we're all gonna die and be forgotten.
So just do whatever it is that you actually want
to fucking do, and don't be obsessed with leaving a legacy.
I think legacy is just stupid in that regard. So

(56:26):
don't start from a place of what's gonna make me successful?
Start from a place of who do I like being
around and what do I like to do? Because those
are the things that are gonna matter, not any kind
of material success. All right, rant over? Uh what else?

(56:50):
What else? What does the chat say? Someone said? Kind
of unfortunate for you that the thing that took off
involved you panting your face green every time. Bro, there's
people who put I will here, dude, putting on the
makeup and gecko suit takes me way less time than
like putting on makeup and a suit and tie, which
is what a lot of people do to go to

(57:12):
their jobs. So so and said, developing self worth is
an internal process. It is. Developing self worth is an
internal process. I say that from like I have, you
know I've done. I do these tours and at every
single one of my shows, I stand around and I

(57:32):
meet everyone I meet at all of the shows that
I did. I did one hundred and twenty three shows
over the past I did one hundred and twenty three
shows over the past two years, and I've at every
one of those shows, I stand around in the lobby
and I meet every single person until until the venue's empty.

(57:54):
And I will have nights. I would have nights where
I would literally like have in a single file line
of people one by one telling me how how much
they fucking love me and how awesome I am and
all this like stuff that you would think would be validating.
But then the next day I'm still in my own brain,

(58:16):
and I'm still like, ah, I'm a piece of shit
and I suck and and no one likes me and
blah blah blah. So there's no I'm telling you firsthand,
there's no amount of external validation that can actually have
a lasting impact on your brain. It's all external. It's

(58:39):
a hunt. No, I'm sorry, it's all internal. It's one
hundred percent internal. You have to have a rock solid
foundation within you that you're something and that your life matters,
and that you're not a piece of shit. There's you know,
everything else is just is is not going to be

(59:00):
helpful for you. And how do you And I believe
that you don't get that internal rock solid belief by
being successful. I think you get.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
It by knowing that you tried, like when you go
to bed at I knowing that you tried really hard
to make an effort towards the kind of life you
want to live.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Is what actually gives you that internal validation more so
than any sort of like actual success with it. Oh
my god, I'm being a fucking Tony Robbins guy. All right, anyway,
all right, okay, all right, Oh god, I was talking

(59:48):
for way too long about that shit. Let's keep going. Okay.
This is from Mohammed. Subject line, drugs are cool, but
don't do them, yo, ghek typing this from the comfort
of my bed, which I'll sadly have to get up
out of in order to go to work to earn
money to essentially fund my drug use lol. I moved

(01:00:13):
from the UK, back home to Africa for a while,
then to the Gulf Region and back here to London.
Drugs are keeping me intact to some extent, don't And
then in all caps, he wrote, don't do them? Love
you ghek. Feel free to call for further context if needed. Well,
I don't okay, Well I hope you're okay. Someone said,

(01:00:42):
all right, let's see hold on. Okay. This is from Diana.
Subject line, just got to Korea and now everyone is
saying to leave all right. This email is twelve days ago,
so this is when they were like declaring martial law
or anything. What is martial law? Because I know they
declared it, and then like an hour later they were like,
never mind, all right, Hi, Lyle, big fan of the show.

(01:01:04):
Had a blast seeing you in Seattle earlier this year.
Thank you. I have nothing really interesting going on in
my life right now, other than I just landed in
South Korea a day ago and now there was a
lot of military and political uprising going on. Everyone back
home is telling me I should fly back, but I
just landed and planned to be here until March to
spend time with my husband out here. Also, I haven't
even had the chance to go to seven to eleven

(01:01:26):
yet and get the onegree and snacks. You can obviously
see where my priorities lie. We'll see what ends up happening.
But I plan to ride it out and stay until March.
Keep gecking and hope I can see you next time
you go on tour. Are you still there? I guess
I don't know why I said that, as if I
was talking to you and not just reading an email.

(01:01:47):
This person's probably fine, because I think they declared martial
law and then just immediately said never mind, right, let
me google this South Korea Marshall law. Okay, all right,
so yes, this is twelve days ago. Yeah, okay, so

(01:02:13):
they were oh yeah, okay, so no if they were
still okay, martial law is over now. It was like
twenty four hours. Did you guys know that the longest
the Declaration of of martial law was in Syria from

(01:02:34):
nineteen sixty seven to twenty eleven, or maybe it was Taiwan.
I don't know. I'm just looking at Wikipedia, all right,
So there we go. You can get all your snacks
and you're gonna be fine and you don't even have
to die or I don't know. I don't know why
you would die, but okay, okay. This is from Lars

(01:03:02):
High GEK. My friends and I were in college and
we were playing dodgeball with this group of guys. We
were having a good time goofing around and not taking
it super seriously, but there was this one guy who
took it very personal and started to make comments on
how we weren't playing the game right because we were
just goofing around. On the way home, we talked about
how much of a douche canoe he was. My friend,

(01:03:22):
who was an ARA at the time, knew what dorm
he was living in, so we decided to tape douches
to his door. Later that year, my friend who was
the RA started dating this guy, so when he moved
out of that dorm, we still knew where he lived.
So a year later, on that same night, at three am.
We douched his door again. We did this for two

(01:03:43):
more years before my friend ruined it all and told
him that it was us. They are still together today.
Why'd you do it twice? I mean doing it one
and doing it once is just like a stupid prank.
But doing it twice, I don't know, as I guess
that's kind of funny. Let's see here, Let's do a

(01:04:11):
couple more emails show we shall we do a couple
more emails. How long is this episode so far? It's
at least an hour. Okay, this is from Paul. The
subject line is mystics and hermits. I have this recurring
thought of moving into a cave in the mountains to
spend time reading and thinking. I used to live in
a pseudo ghost town, and that experience altered my perspective

(01:04:31):
on life. I lived in an old miner's cabin and
spent about three years fixing it and repairing it to
be more livable. The biggest lesson I learned out there
was that the romanticized parts of history are only romantic
if one does not have to live with their consequences
this experience, what does that mean? Holy shit? The romanticized
parts of history are only romantic if one doesn't have

(01:04:53):
to live with their consequences. What does that mean? This
experience has made me very wary trying anything new in
the realm of living a hermetic or mystic lifestyle. But
the thought is still circulating in my mind. Is it
worth considering doing a trial run every few weeks or
should I bag the whole thought and keep on keeping on? Okay,

(01:05:15):
I'm really trying to understand what this guy is saying.
I used to Okay, this guy spent three years in
an old miner's cabin, and then he said the biggest
lesson I learned was that the romanticized parts of life
are only romantic if one doesn't have to live with
their consequences. Okay, So this guy, I think is sad. Okay,
I think this person is saying that they made the

(01:05:37):
decision to live in a miner's cabin and that they
didn't like it. But why the fuck did they stay
there for three years if they didn't like it? Why
you say you say living you say it's only romantic
if you don't have to live with your consequences, But
why do you have to live with them? Why do

(01:05:58):
you have to live with the consequences of going somewhere
when you can just leave. I guess I mean you
didn't move to like, you know, North Korea and get
thrown in jail. You just you're an American. It seems
I'm gonna assume this experience has made me very wary

(01:06:19):
of trying anything new. You're wary of trying, Paul. You
seem like you're weary of trying new things because you
think that you have to stick it out. You ever
heard of vacation? You could just you could just you
ever heard of airbnb, Paul, Paul, go get an airbnb
for a week. You don't have to buy and you

(01:06:40):
don't have to You don't have to. We live in
twenty twenty four, man. You don't have to buy a
cabin and and dedicate find and make financial commitments to
fixing it up. Just go on Airbnb, man, and get
a little cabin in a shitty place. All right. This

(01:07:10):
is from John. The subject line is future Howdy. My
name is John and I'm thirty one years old. Life
has been a wild ride and I am finding myself
entering a new chapter of life. Over the past year,
I have been prepping my house to sell. Everyone wants

(01:07:30):
to talk about homes. Fixing up a house to sell
is expensive and creates a lot of stress, all while
not being able to present be present for the people
you want to be with. However, I am getting to
the end, and in the next two months I will
have my house listed for sale and be able to
buy a new house with my girlfriend and her two
year old daughter. We have been dating for two years

(01:07:52):
and do not live together yet because my house is
too small to raise a child. Marriage, kids, and building
a life together has been a constant conversation since we met.
It is very exciting and scary that the next phase
of our relationship is about to I was about to begin,
but oh man, I am so ready for it to start.
If you would have asked me five years ago, if
this is where I would be, If you would have

(01:08:13):
told me five years ago this is where I would be,
I would never have believed you. A younger me would
have never considered dating someone with a child, and maybe
some people listening are feeling the same way. But I
can promise you that taking the opportunity has filled my
heart with so much love and I have been gifted
with the most beautiful future. Thanks for listening. Gek, I

(01:08:33):
love that. I think that's really nice. John, Well, it's funny. Yeah,
you're about five years older than I am, and uh yeah,
I think, like I'm actually inspired reading your email because
I'm trying to keep my heart and mind open to

(01:08:55):
things that maybe I would have been turned off to,
you know, at this current point in my life. But
that's exciting that. Like I know, I talked earlier about
like being a depression, but I read an email like
this and it excites me because it's like I think,
I think a lot of like my depression has come
from like this theory that like, well this is this

(01:09:17):
idea that like, you know, I've already like there's no
nothing's in my future, Like I don't see any further
life experiences past this. Like I woke up at like
five am and I just had like a panic attack
where I was like, oh, no, life is going to
be the same, It's going to be this forever and
then I'm gonna die, you know, but uh, I don't know.

(01:09:40):
Then I read something like this and I'm like, oh, well,
here's this guy who you know said that five years
later you would he's experiencing something that five years ago
he would have never sought himself to experience. So thanks
for sharing your future with us, John. Maybe it's inspiring
to other people as well. Someone said, why must I

(01:10:08):
piss every day? Okay, let's read. Let's read another email.
Let's see. Okay, we can read a cuple we can
read a few more emails. Hey Gecko is from Paul.
Subject line bros Before hose Hey Gecko, longtime listener and fan.

(01:10:29):
I went through this crazy situation with one of my
best friends and his girlfriend earlier this year. Long story short.
I started dating his ex soon after they broke up,
and it caused a huge rift between me and my friends.
I'd always had a crush on her, and I fell
hard for her once she started showing interest in me.
Jen ended up dumping me too soon after. Karma is real,

(01:10:51):
and I was left to deal with losing my friends
and being a heartbroken. It sent me into a depression
for a while, and I spent a few months loathing
myself and not talking to anyone. I ended up reaching
out to my friends who my friend, whose ex it was,
and now we're better friends than ever. That's really nice.
We bonded over the trauma this woman had caused both
of us. Nowadays, I've forgiven myself and tried to learn

(01:11:15):
and grow from the mistakes I've made. I picked up
new hobbies and made new friends, and I'm doing great.
BTWI went to both your Tampa shows and had a
great time. Here's a picture of us. I'm on the left,
the X is between us. Oh, this is a Oh
this is too personal that I can see this now.
You know what's funny is that I'm looking at a picture.

(01:11:35):
This is normally like when I'm on the phone with
someone and they're talking to me, but like, oh, my
ex boyfriend and this and then the other thing. It's
like it's it makes it so much. It's like impersonal
because I don't know these people. But now I'm like
staring at a photo of these people who he's talking
about in the story. I hope everyone's doing all right. Oh,
she's holding my tail. She's holding my tail in the photo.

(01:12:02):
All right. Let's read another email. Uh okay, this is
from some guy. Subject line is life. Hi. I'm m
from Saudi Arabia. I've got finals next week and I'm
fucking scared. Bro. I'll graduate from UNI in May of
twenty twenty five. I guess I'm an accounting I always

(01:12:24):
listen to your podcast while I shower every morning. It's amazing, Bro,
Thank you. I want to call someday, but I know
I'll get super nervous. You're doing a great job and
I really enjoy your content. You're a good get go.
Best wishes. Listen, m listen, listen. Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something that I'm let me tell
you know what, Fuck it, I'm gonna have a little
bit of conviction today. Look. Everyone, there are institutions around

(01:12:51):
the world throughout time whose sole purpose is to make
you think that they have control over you and your life.
These are like this is like fucking like high school,
and especially when you're young and you're will and you
buy into it right when you're young. When you're in

(01:13:13):
high school, okay, the education system tries to tell you
that if you do not succeed in their rigid system
of if you do not pass this test, you are
banned from having a successful, fulfilling, happy life. That's what

(01:13:36):
they try to tell you is that if you do
this is just a test coming up, and if you
fail the test, you're You're fucked forever. You can not
achieve any of your dreams, you can never help people,
and the way you wanted to help people. You can
never be happy, you can never do It's all a lie.

(01:13:57):
It's all a lie when in fact, you live in
a vast infinite universe with no rules except the ones
that fucking everyone just fucking made up. Okay, so study
for your test. Please study free tests and do the
best you can. And then beyond that, if you study

(01:14:19):
for the test and you do the best you can,
you have nothing to be scared of, because that's all
you needed to do was study free test, do the
best you can. If you get the test back and
you got an F you don't need to freak out
because you live in advanced infinite universe with literally infinite

(01:14:40):
systems and methodologies. For you to become the happy, successful
person that you desire to become doesn't necessarily have to
be within the structure of this education system. I do
genuinely believe all of that. So take the pressure off
a little bit. But you know, studying, do your do

(01:15:00):
you fucking work all right? What's going on in Saudi
Arabia is Saudi Arabia chill ummm. So someone said, how
do you expect to be taken seriously when you're shirtless?
I don't. I don't expect to be taken seriously at all.
I actively actively would like to not be taken seriously.

(01:15:25):
Ah okay, subject line, how a transgender milf hookup saved
my relationship? Howdy, please call me worm. It's a bit
of a long story, but I'll try to keep it brief.
I'm in my twenties, kind of asexual, and currently unmedicated.
Over the summer, I went cold turkey on my meds

(01:15:47):
because I ran out of them before I received my
next ones. I became sort of agitated and emotional during withdraws,
and I was having some issues with my partner. I
had been thinking of this before, and we discussed it,
but I wanted to try hooking up with someone simply
because I hadn't done it before and since my partner
is also a sexual. They were totally supportive of this,

(01:16:09):
which was great. I found a cool trans lady on
the web I like what they called it the web,
and set up a date with her. She was extremely
nice and accommodating. We smoked a lot of weed and
did the deed. I had a great time, but after
this experience I had to have a difficult conversation with
my partner about where our relationship was going. Fast forward

(01:16:31):
about a week we took edibles and watched Rocky Horror
Picture Show. Pretty much fixed most of our problems. Fast
forward another couple weeks. We're at my partner's parents' house
having sex for the first time. It was swag. We're
doing great now, better than we were probably before this happened.

(01:16:52):
Love you, Lyle, keep gecking. Okay, so you're basically what
you're saying is that you were a sexual will and
then you tried it and you were like, oh, this
is actually pretty nice. That's kind of interesting. I get
this is like I'm not good at metaphors, but whatever. Yeah, yeah,

(01:17:18):
I don't know. I guess is that a thing like
you just you're just asexual but you never maybe if
you're I get, is that how many? I do wonder
that with like asexual people, Like how many? How many
are there? Like what's the makeup between asexual people who
are like I just never had any interest versus tried it?

(01:17:40):
Not for me asexual people? I do wonder, but I
don't know. I guess that's why you wrote kind of asexual,
because you were not asexual enough that you were like,
let's give let's give sex a try. And now you're
having sex and smoking weed and you are going to

(01:18:01):
probably go to hell because of that. But you know,
at least you'll have fun on the way over there.
Good for you, worm, good for you. Okay, let's see
this is from killing. When I'm upset, I'll buy a
whole mini tub of frosting and eat it over the
span of the week. Okay, before I finish this email.

(01:18:29):
One of the luxuries that I indulge in from time
to time. I actually got this from my sister is
I will buy a tub of icing, like vanilla icing
or even chocolate icing. I will buy pretzel sticks and

(01:18:56):
I will eat. I will dip the pretzel sticks in
the icing, and it's it's awesome. It's great. Don't do it,
it will it will make your life worse. Okay, Anyway,
when I'm upset, I'll buy a whole mini tep of
frosting and eat it over the span of a week.
One time I got Halloween frosting, and when I ate it,

(01:19:18):
my shit would come out blue. Yet I still kept
eating the frosting because I have free will, so fuck everyone,
I'll eat what I want. My shit kept coming out
blue until after like two weeks. I'd like to assume
I look like a smurf on the inside. Surprisingly, I
don't have diabetes. I don't know how, but it's okay.
I don't want diabetes. You know, I'm brother, you know brother,

(01:19:43):
killing I'm with you. I don't. I heard I'm a
I'm a stavros helkiest pod fan, and I heard him
say on a podcast something like he said something like,
if I don't have diabetes, I don't know what it's
gonna take. And I fucking identified with that at so
much because I really do feel like, if I don't

(01:20:04):
have diabetes, what the fuck is it gonna take? Because
I have done that ice. I've been on a fucking
tear before of sweets and candy and sugar and all
that shit, and uh, I don't know. I'm trying to
eat less of it, but we'll see if I ever
get diabetes. What a way to end this podcast. That

(01:20:26):
was a little ominous. Maybe that wasn't the best way
to end this podcast, but it's gonna have to be
well that was it. That was gek mail. That's the
end of reading males. I think this was good. I
don't I think this was good. I ran to you
ever talk for so long that you're like, what the
fuck did I just say? You just getting When you

(01:20:48):
talk for this long, you just get in a trance.
You don't think too much about what you're saying. You
just you just expec this is, this is These podcasts
are really just like an hour and a half of
me challenging myself to expel words out of my mouth
for as long as I feel like I can. And

(01:21:09):
I am delighted that people seem to enjoy it, because
for me, it's an exercise in expelling words out of
my mouth. But I think it's good to do that exercise.
See if you can expel words out of your mouth

(01:21:29):
like I'm doing it right now. I'm just talking. There's
no substance to anything I'm saying right now, or maybe
there is. Okay, all right, does anyone does anyone in
the chat have anything that any questions? Before we go?
Someone said, uh, I like to cover myself in sugar

(01:21:52):
and get off to ants looking and biting me. All right,
that's it. That's the end of the podcast. Thank you
for listening, uh ghek bless you and have a good
rest of your entire life and your entire day. I
don't know what you're doing while you're listening to this podcast,
but I don't know. Go oudside, just godside. Don't look

(01:22:12):
at your phone. Please stop look at your phone. I
know you're probably listening to this on a phone, but
now that this is over, just put your phone in
your house or something and go outside without it and
just walk around and keep doing that and never look
at your phone ever again, because it's bad. The internet

(01:22:32):
is bad, all right, Thank you bye? Think it goes
on the line, taking your phone calls every night, everything
goes to side. He's teaching you aloud in the of
your line.

Speaker 2 (01:22:45):
He's not an expert.