“I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN”

A caller settles down after a tumultuous life, an electrician makes big moves, a caller attempts to join a knitting club, and a final caller tries to live his American dream.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey, what's your name?

Speaker 3 (00:03):
My name is Meg. I was the person in chat
that's that I've been trying for five years.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh you've been so how long You've been listening to
the show for five years? Yeah, it's crazy. It really
is crazy to me that. I mean, I remember being
on I started doing this on Reddit like five years ago. Yeah,
and I was like, well, every year. Every year, I'm like,
all right, this is the year that you know, I

(00:28):
gotta go do something else. And then it just keeps
people keeping, which is great. It's like amazing. Yeah, well
I did, And I don't mean that in the sense
of I like, it's it's extremely cool that people are
are still here and that we're still doing this.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Oh yeah, I think everybody just likes to hear about
other people's experiences and stuff, you know.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah, yeah, Well, speaking of which, what's what what have
your experience has been?

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Like?

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Oh, dude, I've had a zillion. I have literally, I'm like,
I've I've lived in vans and traveled back and forth
across the country before. I like, now I live in
the very southwest tip of Colorado and I've been here
for like seven years, so I finally have settled. I
make a fuck ton of art I went through. I've
been through some crazy shit too. I went through like

(01:18):
a house fire, lost everything, completely rebuilt my life. So
I've got a million stories. Currently, I am healing from
a breakup.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
So you've living at the ice at the southern tip
of Colorado for seven years.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Yeah, I'm like right on the border of like Utah,
New Mexico, Arizona, at like the four Corners.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
And Okay, so before that, you were running all around
and like around where were you running?

Speaker 3 (01:44):
So I am from Jersey and I have done quite
a few trips. Like I would, I would basically get
either invited to an event or just like on a whim,
I'd have like a thousand dollars saved it up, and
I'd be like, fuck it, you know what, let's quit
our job and just drive down the coast. And so
I've done that a few times. I was like one

(02:05):
of my trips, I drove up from Jersey to upstate
New York, met this group of kids, befriended them They're
from Florida, and then drove down to all the way
to like Atlanta, Georgia, and like hitting music festivals and
stuff along the whole way, and then went from there
to Yellowstone National Park that's where we got arrested, and

(02:26):
then went to Portland and then went back across the
coast again back.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
To what were you arrested for in Yellowstone? If you
want to, you care to share?

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, So it's pretty funny. So we were we went
to Yellowstone. We did not pay for a camping site
where jackasses. We were like, let's just fucking park here
and camp here, and we probably wouldn't have gotten in
any trouble except for we were allowed. We had beer
cans out. We were asleep when this happened. We got
awoken by rangers, so like, what the fuck are you doing?

(03:00):
Not in the camping spot. You guys have open containers everywhere.
And one of the kids that we were traveling with
was underage, and he had an illicit substance in his hands,
clashed clustered whatever class to his chest while he was
sleeping in a hammock. So he wakes up and they're like,
what's in your hand? That's drugs And.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
We were like, oh, we're not bad kids.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
These bikers gave it to us because there's a lot
of bikers in Yellowstone and this woman checked my ID
and she was like, oh my god, you're.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
From freaking blah blah, New Jersey and I was like yeah,
and she was like I went to this high school.
I was like, oh my gosh, my parents went there.
And then she's like, oh my gosh, I know your
mom and like to the other ranger was like, we're
gonna go and bring you guys to jail right now,
and she was like, no, these guys are good kids.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
They're good kids.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
We're gonna let you guys go. And they gave us
like providing alcohol to a minor and then it got
dropped because if you get arrested on federal lands that's
a federal charge. You're in big trouble.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
So what was it that made you settle in Colorado?
And then how has it been being in the same
place for seven years after doing all this running around?

Speaker 3 (04:14):
It's been awesome. What made me stay here? I mean,
first I lived in Denver and Boulder, which are like
cities on the eastern side of Colorado, and I was like,
this sucks. This isn't really Colorado. There's traffic, there's just
like very yuppy culture, and so I eventually came out here.
I live in a town called Durango, and it just

(04:35):
is awesome. This town is crazy. It's just got weird
people in it.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Man.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
Like we have like weird festivals like every two months
for random things, Like we've got the river festivals coming up,
and then after that we've got a Dandelion festival. It's
fun time. And yeah, I mean, you drive an hour
north and you're going to be in the most beautiful
mountains you've ever seen. You drive an hour south, you're
going to be in the desert. Like really fun. It's

(05:01):
just nature everywhere. It's beautiful. And I live like in
a very rural areas cool, but there's college close by,
so there's parties.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
And you said you're going through a breakup. How long
were you with this person for?

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was with him for like a year, but we
had been friends for like six years before that.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Are you guy still friends or was that kind of
or was the friendship erosion part of the breakup?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
It sucks. It kind of was that.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
I try still to be friends, but this kid has
got so many issues and it sucks because like he's
ten years older than me, and I swear to god,
he argues like a high schooler, but like it's just insane.
He's got We both had problems with alcohol and I've
been four months sober ever since the breakup, and he
just won't stop and he'll call me drunk and be

(05:51):
like I love you, I'm sorry, and then be like
fuck you five minutes later. So that's that.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
And do you live alone?

Speaker 3 (06:01):
Yeah, unless you count my two kitty cats?

Speaker 2 (06:03):
How was uh uh? Yeah? How is your like kind
of healing process? Bin?

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Like what you been doing, It's been fucking awesome. If
anybody is struggling with mental health, I'm afraid to go
to therapy or a psychiatrist. I highly advise you to
just abandon that shame and to just go for it,
because like I've been in therapy and I started taking
this thing called a bilifi and I swear to god
it has like yeah, man, and I'm on the lowest

(06:31):
dose of it, and it has changed my life. Like
I am just I don't know, man, I got a
different way of thinking. It's crazy. One of my friends
yesterday was over and they're like, what, what did you
start taking it? And I told them, They're like, keep
doing that, because you're doing fucking awesome. I'm like, thinks.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Interesting, Yeah, I'm on a I've kind of made it
my you know, uh, my mission for like this year
is I want to find a good like ss sr
I for myself because you can't. I thought, is it,
isn't that an SSRI I abilify?

Speaker 3 (07:08):
No, no, no, it's I forget what it's considered, but
it's not an SSRI.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
I'm on that.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
And I'm also on wellbutrin that also is not an
SSRI I because whenever I took SSRIs, I felt like, sorry,
I was running water in the background. But whenever I
took those, I felt like I just like life was
just I don't know, it was dulled down, you know,
and it just I just felt like instead of feeling happy,
I felt nothing so and I was like nothing better

(07:34):
than sad. But I want to feel happy.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, yeah, it's I'm I'm on I don't know if
it's like an SSRI I or anything, but I'm I'm
kind of on this kick where I'm like, I think,
throughout my life, I've found a lot of meeting and
like uh projects and work and whatnot. But I've been
you know, like flip flipping flopping with like you know, uh,

(08:06):
mental fog or whatever the fuck. So I think I've
kind of tried to accept that. It's like, all right,
I think whatever's going on is something chemical that cannot
be well, I mean I think there is, Like I
think there is a strong like you can't just I
don't think there's a magic pill that's gonna like make
your life awesome, but there might be. Yeah, but I

(08:27):
have this hope that there's like.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
I'm like, try abilify bro because it will, but you.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Know, well anyway anyway, but yeah, but well, well let
me ask you this though. What's your name again? Meg?

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Meg, We're cool to just shoot the shit if you
want to keep shooting the shit, But is there anything
in particular that you called in to want to talk about?

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Honestly, Like, I'm down to shoot the ship because I've
called in a million times when I've had like some
crazy shit going on in my life and been like
I just won't event But right now I'm like I'm
doing good, So.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Excellence, that's excellence.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
I can like tell I can give like a little
brief synopsis of my life. I've been through a bunch, But.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Where what do you well, let me, what do you
so you you you make art, what do you do
for Uh? Do you do that for work?

Speaker 5 (09:23):
No?

Speaker 3 (09:23):
But I do make some money on the side from it,
though I haven't really been selling it lately, but I'm
trying to get back into that, Like I'm going to
try to run the table at our flea market and stuff.
I think I might get into making soap, try to
sell some of that. I make sour dough bread. I
might try to sell some of that too, because I
live in a very hippie dippy town where people want
to buy that stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Cool, all right? Is it like a tell me more
about the hippie dippy town. What's hippy and dippy about it?

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Dude?

Speaker 3 (09:50):
It's fucking crazy. So it's like basically like once, like
there's like a stretch of street. We've got a main
street that's like probably like eight block, and that's where
everything kind of happens in town. And everybody here is
just very like crunchy granola people. Like everybody's got there,
like we've got our little homestead. Like when everybody was

(10:12):
dying for eggs, like I was like, I don't have
to worry. I know one million people with chickens, Like, uh,
I don't know. Just everybody's got like little homesteads and stuff.
It's very rural. There's, like I said, festivals for little
insignificant things. Everybody's like, let's celebrate dambelions. They have a

(10:34):
may pole for that thing. It's like, I don't know
if you've ever seen one, but it's a gigantic pole
that they attach like a bunch of strings of fabrics
to it, and everybody runs in opposite directions around the
pole until the fabrics all wrapped around it, so that
every year it gets thicker and thicker. But everybody gets
all tangled up while they're doing it. It's really cute
to watch. And then like for the river one, people

(10:58):
go crazy. They cover themselves in like glitter and wear
two twos and shit, they decorate all their floats, like
to everybody, here, we've got a pretty crazy river. It's
got like it's got rapids that if you were to
go through it, like you need to have like a
helmet and be on good a good boat. But yeah,

(11:18):
people will dress up crazy for that and like paint
their faces and shit, and everybody gathers at the riverside
and watches people go through the rapids. And like cheers
the mom I think we also have. In the winter,
there's like a two week festival that they call Snowdown.
It's been going on since the eighties and again every
year it will have a theme. This year's theme was

(11:38):
Safari I think, or something like that. So everybody will
dress up crazy. Oh no, it was game board themes.
That's like the dumbest theme I've ever heard. But yeah,
so everybody will dress up and all of the local
businesses and bars and such will post games. There'll be
things like I think there was like a porta potty
race or something where people put bodies on wheels, and

(12:01):
then there was like a mattress race where people put
mattresses on wheels. People do ski drawing here where that's
a horse pulling you on skis and you go over
water and see who can't fall. So there's stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Have you done a lot of traveling arounds in the
past seven years or did you, like, you know, really
really settle into this town.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
I've settled into the town, but I've also like checked
out stuff outside of it. Like I live pretty close
to Moab, which is a big destination for mountain biking,
and I went there over this past fall. It kind
of sucks. I went with my access kind of the
catalyst for the breakups. And let's see. I like, if

(12:44):
you go an hour north, there's this town called Urray.
They call it the Switzerland of America, and it is
just so beautiful. I spent my birth Yeah, I spent
my birthday there.

Speaker 5 (12:54):
Gorgeous.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
What's going on in Urray?

Speaker 3 (12:59):
I mean, you're right, I don't know how anybody lives there.
It's a very tourist destination. So I think everybody kind
of lived outside of it. In this little teeny tiny
town called Ridgeway. I think everybody who works there must
live there, and they must all travel to your right,
because I think you're right, it's just all like tourist shops, restaurants,
et cetera. In Ridgeway. I went to a hot spring
over there. That's something I love. I love hot water,

(13:21):
and so I went to a hot spring over there,
and it's in It was a new to the allowed
one and I have never seen as many like sixty
year old penises in my life. Nice, very good, coming
straight at you as soon as you walk in.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
So what's next for you? Meg and your life journey.
I like, what do you what do you hope to
do after you know you're your I guess I don't
know if I don't know how healing works. Are you
do you are? Do you mean do you magically label
yourself healed? Or is it like, uh, you know, what's

(13:59):
what's what's the next in your universe?

Speaker 3 (14:01):
I think right now I'm sort of kind of healed
because I still answer the phone calls, you know, But
what's next for me is making a cup of coffee
and I'm gonna go do hair all day and then
what's really next for me? I have zero clue what
what this life has for me because lately it's been
kind of a struggle financially. But hopefully life will give

(14:24):
me the clientele that I need to be making enough
money because this town is very expensive to live in.
So really, right now my journey is just to find
stability without the help of another person.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Uh yeah, I mean good luck on that, Meg.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Do you know, I don't know why. I don't know
why when that's you know, what is so annoying is
I meant what I said just now, but when I
said it, it sounded like I was being sarcastic, didn't it? Nah?

Speaker 3 (14:55):
Man, I get it. I fucking I People constantly think
I'm being a dick because I'm from New Jersey and
I'm very sarcastic, and nobody here can pick up on
it because they're like all very nice.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
I don't know what, Like in my like, in my brain,
I was like my brain's my brain said, oh, good luck, Meg,
But my cool in my mouth was good luck.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
You're like good luck.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Maybe it's maybe it's a family maybe because it's a
family guy or something, just the way you say, Meg,
Oh my god, no good uh good? You hate family guy?

Speaker 3 (15:28):
Yeah? I can't help it, bro, I just.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Do Why do you hate family guy?

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Dude? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
It's because, like I mean, I went, I graduated high
school in two thousand and nine. I feel like we're
probably similar age. I'm thirty three, so it was like
super popular in school and everybody was just always saying
fucking quotes from it, and I was like, I can't
do another. I can't, like, I don't know. I just
don't think they're jokes. Are that funny?

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Well?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
With South Park?

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Like I grew up there, you hates Okay, Okay, hating
family guys one thing. But South Park is like, uh,
you know, is it totally different?

Speaker 3 (16:02):
It's pretty funny sometimes show.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, it's very well written and it's very the jokes
are more like I think they did a great job. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
I like the one season where it starts off where
where Butters is being professor Chaos and then they turn
them into the dog.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, good luck, Meg, try not to. I don't know,
I don't have I don't I I I wish you
sincere life. What's the name of this town, Urray. I'm
gonna check that out.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Oh no, no, Durango is where I live. But Urray
is also awesome, and Urray is felled. Oh you are
a y Some people say, oh Ray, I don't know
what the fuck is the right pronunciation. Uh, look it up.
You should visit sometime. Like I've always wanted to see
you live, but you've never come anywhere close to me,
Like I go, I.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Go to I go to Denver pretty much every year.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
Yeah, I know, but Denver's like eight hours. Dude's like,
I'm closer. I'm in the Southwest, so I'm closer to
Santa Fe and Albuquerge. If either of those if you
ever hit either of those, I will be there, like swim,
I'll be in there like somewhere.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, okay, cool, I'll consider doing that. I'll consider doing that.
I like Santa Fe. I like the have the original.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
Now we'll be there.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, it's so much fun. I went there, dude, and
I like, did you know that? Like, have you gone
through the exhibits.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
I've been to a lot of them, but I've never
been to the one in Santa Fe.

Speaker 5 (17:31):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
Dang.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Well.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
They have like the exhibit part of it is like
a nineties house or whatever, and they also have like
concerts there. I went to see a concert there. Me
and my friend were with a group of people where
were like, Yo, these people stuck, Let's just leave and
go to the exhibit. And like we went in there
and tried on all the clothes and stuff that were
like in these bedrooms and stuff in the fake house,
and we eventually got kicked out for it. They were like,

(17:53):
you need to.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Stop, get out of here, Meg, is the anything else
you want to say to the people the computer before
we go?

Speaker 3 (18:01):
Don't be scared of facing your mental health challenges, guys,
and I hope that everybody has a really really nice
day and a good start to your weekend.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Have a good night, Meg.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah, no, dude, this is you said night haha. Have
a nice day.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Oh shit, Sorry, it could be day or night, depending
on I don't know where anyone is in the world.
Well I guess I do. I know where that she
is because she told me. But uh, it could be day,
it could be night. Every it's it's whatever time you
decide it is.

Speaker 5 (18:38):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Hey, what's up. What's your name?

Speaker 5 (18:42):
I'm Tristan.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
What's up, Christen? How's life Tristan? What's going on with you?

Speaker 5 (18:49):
I am currently at work.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
What do you do for work?

Speaker 5 (18:54):
I'm an electrician.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
You're an electrician. I like that. It's a very very
real job.

Speaker 5 (19:03):
Is very real. It doesn't feel like I'm fitting and
doing nothing all day.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, that's good. You're doing a valuable that's one of
the an electrician, that's one of those jobs that AI
can't replace, right you think, I.

Speaker 5 (19:20):
Don't think so. I mean, at least you know the
physical work portion of it. I guess computers have been
like planning buildings for a little while, but I don't know. Yeah,
physical work, it can't really be done at least for

(19:43):
a while.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Listen. It's okay if you just wanted to shoot the
shit and whatever, but is there anything in particular you
want to talk about today?

Speaker 5 (19:57):
I don't know. I mean, honestly, I kind of wanted
to just like give you a compliment, like the kind
I've been watching since like the Pandemic and like when
you started, and I feel like you you kind of
have instead of just using this show as like a

(20:17):
way to like learn about other people, I think you've
kind of like used it as your outlet as well.
And I think a lot of people are like connecting
to you a lot more recently, or at least I
am like hearing your you know, how you go through
bit and you actually like tell us about it, which

(20:38):
is it's helpful to hear, you know.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Okay, good, I'm glad. I'm glad to hear it's helpful
to hear because I have been doing that more often.
And then in my off time, I wonder to myself
if it's a good idea and the impetus behind it
is a it just feels cathartic to like have a

(21:03):
you know, like I guess, to publicly share your thoughts
and life and then bees I assume it's helpful for
other people to hear in this, you know what's going
on everyone's But then I want it's funny. I wonder

(21:23):
in my own life, I'm like, am I in a
loop of some kind where I'm solidifying stories about myself?
I've even talked about this.

Speaker 5 (21:37):
I think, yeah, yeah, I've heard you. You say, like,
the more you talk about things, are you like creating
this image of yourself that like isn't actually real?

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Well no, well no, not not that, not that. More
like like if I talk about uh, like, if you're
if you're constantly talking about like being depressed, you I
think you create your brain just creates this story, right

(22:09):
that you're depressed, and then that's a loop.

Speaker 5 (22:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
I don't know where I've landed on that, but I
I I'm happy that it's resonating with and maybe I
I have other things I'd like to talk about besides
just being depressed. I guess I.

Speaker 5 (22:33):
Don't think I'm glad that that's all you. Yeah, that's
all you like talk about. You definitely don't just like
talk about that, But I I think just you know,
using it as like more of a way to not
only hear about other people's things, but you know, tell
your your stories, whether they're positive or negative, you know,

(22:54):
like talking about like your experiences in college, or giving
advice about like staying at home like uh, you know,
as long as you can so you can save up money.
Like those are just like good pieces of advice.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Like I'm okay, cool.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
And I think that. Yeah, no, I'm just uh, you're
you're you're the right person to do. This is is
kind of my compliment.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
Okay, thanks man. That what's your name, Kristin Chris, Tristan
or Tristan or Kristen Kristin ta with the tea Kristin.
Thanks Tristan. That actually means a lot to me. I
really I appreciate that, Okay, And I know I get
what you're saying, so okay, yeah, I uh, I'm gonna
start doing that more, trying to use my personal experience

(23:44):
just you know, lif. I mean, that's what I like
about the show is other people's like lived experience. So
I guess I'll keep I'll keep sharing, I think.

Speaker 5 (23:52):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's what we all we
all kind of like about it too, at least I think, so, you.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Know, well, what's going on with you, Tristan. How's life.

Speaker 5 (24:03):
Uh, Life's pretty good. I've been in a pretty pretty
good relationship for the last like year and a couple
of months. I just uh, we just got back from Brazil.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Oh what went to go ahead? I'll like, before you
go ahead, I'm gonna I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait
for a nice long silence before I get in there.

Speaker 5 (24:35):
All right, Yeah, we just we just got back from Brazil.
We went to uh Carnival in in Rio. It was
freaking it was sick.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Oh, Carnival is on my uh list? What was uh?
What was up? How was it?

Speaker 5 (24:51):
That's great? Man. Rio is like one of the most
brazy places. Like it's so beautiful, Like you're on the
beach and you just like turn around and there's just
huge mountains everywhere, and and it's just it's so nice.
And it's like the people are also very nice. I

(25:13):
can't speak Portuguese, but my girlfriend is from Brazil, so
you kind of just like so you kind of just
led me around and you know, talking to people, and yeah,
it's it's a Brazilian people have a lot of fun,
That's what I'll say.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Cool. Cool, Yeah, Yeah, the fucking rocks. Well, I've heard
Carnival is like like there's like a million fucking people
in the streets and like a big DJ and like
all that stuff.

Speaker 5 (25:48):
Yeah, I mean there's literally like parties every everywhere you go.
There's just like some random party in the street going on,
and just like a ton of music. There's like parade
stuff and yeah, it's it's wild.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
And where do you Where are you when you're not in.

Speaker 5 (26:08):
Brazil, I'm in the Boston area.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
Pretty good, Pretty good. You sound like your life is good.

Speaker 5 (26:21):
Recently it's been it's been surprisingly very good.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
Surprisingly.

Speaker 5 (26:30):
I don't know. I guess I kind of have that
like like imposter like all this good stuff shouldn't really
be happening type of thing.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, sure, sure, Why well why has it been good?

Speaker 1 (26:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (26:49):
I'm just happy with my relationship. My job's been pretty
like not stressful, and the only the only thing stressful
is like my car is like kind of a piece
of ship, So not really that that bad of a
problem to have.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah. Yeah, I I was in a airbnb and the
laundry machine I was in. Yeah. I was in Japan
for two months, and the first month I was there,
I was really really happy. I was very peaceful, and

(27:36):
I was in the airbnb and the laundry machine uh
started leaking. It was one and the the airbnb flooded
with water, and I was cleaning up the water, and
I was thinking to my I was it was a
very peaceful time, and I was thinking to myself, I'm

(27:58):
so fucking happy right now that the current worst problem
in my life is that my laundry machine is leaking.
That's uh, that's a real I that that that piece

(28:20):
that the that that that piece is now. H I
think I left that piece in Japan, but in that moment,
I remember feeling that way. So yeah, it's good.

Speaker 5 (28:34):
It's good to have like that perspective on it, especially
when like when you do end up having bigger problems,
you kind of like wish back to the times that
you the only problem your laundry unit was flooding your
house or yeah, you know your car sucks.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, but you get I mean, any I think you
can kind of do that anytime, you know, like whatever
your fucking problem is, you can always be like, well,
this is a better problem than getting my leg cut off.
That's happening to people in places, you know, so it's all,
it's all, it's all relative. I guess it's all relative.

(29:18):
What else was I going to say to you? Tristan
Tristan with a T. Is there anything that you want
to talk about while we're chilling?

Speaker 5 (29:30):
Uh? I don't know, man.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
How's uh?

Speaker 5 (29:33):
How's working out going? How's doing your push ups?

Speaker 2 (29:40):
I've I'm still working out. I'm still doing you know what,
maybe I'll try to do some push ups after I
get off the phone with you. I got up to
twenty five. I was able to do twenty five push
ups in a row. Where is my award? I thought
I would get a trophy or a or a agnet

(30:00):
or something. Still doesn't come.

Speaker 5 (30:03):
It's it's uh, well, there was a point where you
thought that you couldn't do twenty five push ups?

Speaker 2 (30:09):
And push ups? Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to that's your reward. Yeah. Yeah,
I'm trying to get back to the weight that I
was before I started being a gecko. It's fun, Yeah,
it's uh. Every day feels very long to me. So

(30:32):
if I haven't gone to the gym in a while,
if it'll feel like I haven't done it in like
a month. But the gym's great. I was. Yeah, about
a year ago, I was like lifting weights, and I
was like, I should never not do this. This is great.

Speaker 5 (30:47):
I wish that I had that that mindset about lifting weights.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Well, I you know, I mean that mindset only came.
The mindset came while I was doing it. I don't.
I didn't have I wasn't like on the couch, like
I should never or not left. Well, when I'm on
the couch, I was like, I should never leave this possession.
You know, I bet you. How'd you meet your Brazilian girlfriend?

Speaker 5 (31:16):
Oh? Tinder?

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Tinder in Tinder in Boston?

Speaker 5 (31:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she she moved up here a little
bit before we met, just by herself, which is crazy
to do.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
That's cool, but what she did do people? Still, I
feel like Tinder was popular when I was like in college.
I feel like now everyone like the growing up version
is like hinge or something like that.

Speaker 5 (31:47):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I wasn't. I don't
think I was necessarily trying to get into relationship being
on Tinder though, but it ended up happening that way.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 5 (32:01):
But yeah, I mean, sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
No, I was just mumbling I have nothing to say.

Speaker 5 (32:11):
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Yeah, there is.

Speaker 5 (32:16):
The more like college age thing to do. I guess.
I mean, I'm I'm twenty two, so I'm not I'm
not out of that phase technically.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Oh sheet m, that's cool. What are you going to
do with the rest of your life?

Speaker 5 (32:33):
I don't know. Try to make enough money to have
a house? Maybe pretty good. I don't know if I'll
be able to do it, but we'll try.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
What do you What are you planning to do to
make money.

Speaker 5 (32:53):
Of my job? To be an electrician?

Speaker 2 (32:56):
I guess? Oh, yes, sorry, I forgot. You said you
were an electrician. That's a very real job.

Speaker 5 (33:02):
Yeah, it's real. I hope that I can make more
more money.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Doing it, would you? But did you go to trade school?

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (33:13):
I did, like night school, Like I started out of
high school when I was eighteen, and did like work
during the week and then night school like twice a
week for four years.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
I have a lot of respect for you.

Speaker 5 (33:29):
Oh, thank you?

Speaker 2 (33:30):
I really do you have? You went to you learned
a skill? You have a you have a You are
deeply sincerely contributing to society with a skill that you
put in the time and effort to learn.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Yeah, that that is what happened. That's pretty crazy to
hear it.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
But like that, Yeah, I mean that's how you should
think of it. You learned to. I mean, you know,
you know, you don't work, you don't like, uh, you
don't like write copy for the Axe Body Spray Instagram.
You know what I mean? You like, know how to
do something?

Speaker 5 (34:17):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean I wire a bunch of different stuff,
get people's lights working.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah, they need that ship. Yeah, man, you know, when
the apocalypse happens, whoever runs the ex body Spray Instagram
is fucked. They're not getting on the rocket to the
moon when everything goes astray. You I don't know if
any of us are. I don't know if really any
of us are getting on the rocket. We're going to

(34:46):
get us I don't. I don't think we're getting on
the rock. But I think you have a You have
a you have a you have a decent shot at
getting on I don't know how many rockets they'll be,
but you have at least you have at least a
better shot at getting on the rocket than the Yeah,
like someone who you know or like me or you
know some someone who uh yeah it does does the

(35:12):
X bodies The X body spray thing. Yeah. Yeah, so
that's good. You're you're yeah, I mean real, You're real,
You're very you should be proud of who you are.

Speaker 5 (35:22):
I mean that, thanks man, I appreciate that. My uh
it did It definitely sucks sometimes doing this this stuff.
The A lot of the guys in this are like

(35:44):
the worst people you'll ever meet in your entire life,
like so miserable and like just like trying to die faster,
like drinking as much as possible and smoking like ten
cigarettes at a time.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
I don't know, you know, I I guess yeah, I
can see how that happens. I can absolutely see how
that happens. I hope that you. I meant everything I
said about how you should be proud of what you do.
It's a hard thing, but I hope you have a

(36:22):
plan for how you don't end up being that wanting
to die, like what like some form of I guess, uh,
diversification of life stock. I don't know how you do it?
How do you? I mean? That's what I'm on right now,
is I'm like, okay, like you, like I assume you

(36:45):
work with a lot of people who are, like, you know,
older and want to die. Sooner, you know. Yeah, okay,
so but not so much anymore.

Speaker 5 (36:56):
No, I'm with I just worked for one guy, so
me and him, and I'm kind of like I'm at
work right now.

Speaker 6 (37:02):
I'm not.

Speaker 5 (37:03):
I'm on my lunch break, but I'm mostly by myself lately,
so I'm kind of just like doing my own thing
so I don't have to deal with those people anymore.
But the first like two years of being in this,
all I saw was like guys who were like, oh,
I don't do this shit until you're forty years old.

(37:23):
You're gonna fucking want to die, you know, that type
of attitude like all the time. It's like, yeah, oh
my god. So I think I mean, the plan at
least with you know, either the company I'm at or
some other company is like try to get into like

(37:43):
more like project management. So I'm not in the field
and like destroying my body.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Yeah yeah, that's good. Yeah. No, I mean it's funny.
I understand why you'd why it was miserable to be
around those people, but I it don't. It sounds like
it was like good to have to be around those people.

Speaker 5 (38:04):
Actually, yeah, I mean it's definitely. It was definitely like
a learning like what not to do right.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Like no, if like a dude, if like an old
guy says like, don't fucking do this, I think it's
probably makes sense to listen to them.

Speaker 5 (38:23):
Yeah, probably like an old miserable guy.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Yeah, I'm like I want to do Yeah. I mean
I'm twenty seven, you're twenty two.

Speaker 5 (38:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I'm always thinking about like, uh, I feel I feel
older for the I know twenty seven is young. I
feel I feel like older for the first time in
a in a minute, and I'm like, Okay, I've I
never thought. I didn't think I would be twenty seven.
I thought I would be. I thought I would just

(39:01):
I thought I would just explode, not that I would
like not like oh I'm not gonna make it or
all I'm gonna like what. I just thought like I didn't.
I kind of picked a certain time period where I
just didn't believe the time existed beyond that. And then
now the time has existed beyond that, and I'm like, Okay,
I now have confirmation that that will continue to happen.

(39:23):
What can I do to uh best respond to the
inevitable notion that time will continue. We're in good spots
to do it, I think, Yeah, it's a good I
think I have to be aware of that the time

(39:44):
will actually continue. And how do you brace yourself for
the continuation of time. I'm probably giving a ton of
people a heart attack by talking about all this, but
what's been on?

Speaker 5 (39:55):
Maybe? Yeah? Time, time is fucking always going and it's
crazy because I mean I I remember being in high
school like it was fucking yesterday, and now I'm an
adult and I live in an apartment that I pay
rent for, which is weird.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Mm.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Do you know how to can you can you fix
an Xbox if it's broken?

Speaker 1 (40:30):
No?

Speaker 5 (40:33):
I only know yeah, yeah, maybe. I mean I'm not like,
uh like a like a tech like building computers, electrician.
I'm like, uh, you know, give you an outlet in
the wall or like put up a light or something
type of electrician.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Tristan is before we go. Is there any thing else
that I can you to make this conversation or to
make this phone call a better experience for you?

Speaker 5 (41:09):
No, this is this has been pretty great lyle your
your best dude.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Oh, thank you Christ, Thank you Christ. I'm trying. I'm
trying my absolute hardest. Thank you for for being Thank
you for being alive. Thank you for your compliments, thank
you for your for electricity.

Speaker 5 (41:29):
You're You're welcome.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
All right, I'll.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
See you around the universe. Tristan, good luck, all right,
Thanks Lyle. Okay, bye man, bye bye. Hi. What's up?

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Her name?

Speaker 2 (41:44):
Hello?

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Hi?

Speaker 2 (41:45):
Hey, my name is?

Speaker 1 (41:47):
My name is going to be sucks today.

Speaker 5 (41:50):
Fox suck.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Fu fuck.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
No s O see okay fuck fuck?

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Okay, Well what's up? Fuck? How you doing?

Speaker 1 (42:06):
Okay, you didn't hear me anyway, I'm I'm surprised, I
don't know.

Speaker 6 (42:15):
Hi.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
So I'm feeling I'm feeling really anxious because I really
actually wasn't expecting to get through.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
This is uh well, I don't really know what name
you were trying to give me, So I'm gonna call
you Fox. This this is easily gonna be one of
the lowest steaks things that you will do with your life.

(42:46):
So there's no reason to be anxious. We'll just chit chat,
we'll just talk. You know, there's no yeah, there's nothing,
there's nothing to be uh to be worried about. There's
no way to uh fail.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
No, I know, I know. It's just you don't have
very many opportunities to do something.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Like this, so, well, what's up Fox? What's going on
with you?

Speaker 1 (43:14):
I'm gon take a drink really quick?

Speaker 2 (43:16):
Take a drink?

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Do you mean like you're are you taking a shot
or like you're having some water?

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Some water?

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Cool?

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Just water? Yeah, because my mouth is filling dry. Okay. Well,
so I'm old, like I'm I'm in my forties okay,
and I just found out last year that I'm also sick.

Speaker 5 (43:44):
Okay, which.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Makes sense, It makes a lot of sense. But I
get the things that I'm interested in, like stuff like
watching twitch and you know, trying just stay away from
Instagram as much as possible for mental health reasons, but
that also kind of keeping up with what's going on,
you know. And I like music that young people like,

(44:13):
and I am single, I don't have kids, and I
don't have any desire to have kids, and so I
don't know, I just feel weird, like I don't know
how to relate to people my age. And then if
I am like relating to someone younger, once they find

(44:33):
out how old I am, they're kind of like kind
of like you could be my mom or you know,
something like that.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
So interesting. I have a lot of thoughts about this.
First of all I actually want to say, is this
something you've ever talked to an actual therapist about?

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah yeah?

Speaker 2 (44:52):
What what do what do people say? What do people say?

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Well, the problem is that all of these things I
told you about seeming younger and having interests like that,
that is a big sign of autism and women who
got missed as kids, you know.

Speaker 5 (45:13):
And so.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
The problem is that there's not a lot of knowledge
even in man therapists about it about adults because you know,
no one ever really paid attention to adults that didn't
fit these spilled out versions of what autisms should look like.
So this is you probably have heard this is happening

(45:38):
a lot to people, older people getting diagnosed, but yeah,
they just don't know, and it actually ended up being harmful.
I this is actually the first time that I'm not
in therapy for many many years, what years and years
and years, and I feel better than I ever have

(46:03):
so and yeah, and it's because because like normal types
of therapy can be harmful for people with autism, because
it's basically like even cognitive behavioral therapy, a lot of
times we like I'm trying to explain it, but like

(46:25):
our brain works a certain way, and and those type
of therapies. If we're not like completely clicking with it
and it working for us, we get more of the
come off as not doing it, you know, or not
not actually doing the work or whatever. But really inside
we feel like you're telling me the way my brain

(46:47):
works is wrong and I don't have control of that.
Does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Yeah, a little bit, A little bit. Well, I so,
I mean, listen, here's the thing I actually uh, I mean, funk, man,
I have I have if you want to dive into it,
I have like thoughts. I don't know if they're I
don't know if they're hard. There might be harmful. I
was talking to my therapy. I was talking to my therapist.

(47:16):
He was like, he was like, there might be harmful,
just in the sense that like, I don't know what
I'm doing. I just this is just my thoughts as
a as a individual. If you want my uh.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
That's not what I meant at all. That's not what
I meant at all. I absolutely want you for sure
for sure?

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Right No, no, no, no, by the way, I just want sorry, sorry, sorry,
I'm I'm gathering that not based off anything you said,
just based off of the fact that you know, I'm
I'm I'm a lizard guy on a podcast. But well,
let's talk about this because you said a bunch of
things that I thought were kind of interesting.

Speaker 5 (47:53):
Is that.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
So you have trouble relating to other people your age
because of your interests and because you feel like your
lifestyle is not exactly similar to what is traditionally expected
of other people around your.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Age, right, yeah, not at all, like not even close.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah, well, I guess let me ask you that when
you're when you are like meeting people, right, Like, how
through what means typically are you meeting people?

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Uh, in the last five or six years, I'm just
not meeting people.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Do you desire to meet people?

Speaker 1 (48:35):
Yes? Absolutely?

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Okay, great, yeah, so why haven't you been trying to
do it over the past six years.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
I get in my head that Okay, yeah, I'm excited,
I'm going to go do this, and then when the
time comes, I just kind of freeze up and I
don't do it. I don't go, and so I ended
up just staying home a lot. And then then you
just get in the habit of that where you're used to,
like I'm used to not leaving the house sometimes for

(49:10):
two weeks because I'll get my groceries delivered Instacart, and
then I just stick to myself. But the times that
I have tried to build closer relationships with people, it
ended up just being a lot more superficial of a
friendship than what I thought I had. And so like,

(49:34):
you know, expecting someone to be there for me because
they say, you know, you're family to me if you
ever need anything, But then I needed something and they
weren't there for me. Kind of.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Like yeah, but no, I will say.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
But when that happened, I just was like it was
almost like a breakup. Like I sent them a text
and I said, I'm sorry, I can't be friends with
you any more, and I explained why, and I never
heard back from them. I they're my neighbor, so I
see them occasionally, but that we.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
Just act like.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
We act like we don't see what's going on around us.
And we were friends for over a year and talked
every day.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
So so like when you're when you're getting amped up
to go out leave your house and do some ship,
what what do you when was the last time you
were amped up to leave your house and go do
some ship? And then and like what was it?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Well, what do you just fine us?

Speaker 3 (50:37):
Amped up?

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Is that not what you?

Speaker 6 (50:39):
Is?

Speaker 2 (50:39):
That not what you?

Speaker 4 (50:40):
Is?

Speaker 2 (50:40):
That not what you said where you were like all right,
I'm excited to do something and then when the time
comes at iste I me met for.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Like looking at like groups first common interests and yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's so like when you got
amped up to look at it to go to a thing,
what was the thing.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
It was? Especially it was a knitting group. Cool, which
it does sound like something people my age do, but
it's also a very young thing too, like everyone does it,
not everyone, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Ages, So again, I'll I'm just gonna pull from my
lived experience with this stuff. And this is something I've
been kind of on recently. Is that a lot of
the time I'm trying to come to a realization and

(51:38):
this is like like an epiphany that I gotta kind
of reach over and over and over again. And in
my life, which is that like the the the action
kind of precedes the motivation, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Like I've been trying to go out and do like

(52:01):
I'm trying to go out and do fucking like open
mics and do shit or whatever, and I'll be like
about to go do something or like about to try
to write something or whatever like, and I'll just get
like super in my head and crazy about it. And
then yeah, just kind of force is the wrong word
because it's actually not a force. It's just like a flow.

(52:21):
Then I just go and do it. I get up
there and I do the thing, and then after doing it,
you realize the good The good feeling comes after you
do it. So there's a little bit of a I
think a thing where you have to push to just
fucking like do it first, and then once you're there,

(52:45):
and you'll actually feel more motivated and you'll feel excited
once you're fucking there, but you're not gonna but it's like, yeah,
of course, if you've been in your house for two
weeks and then you try to go to a thing,
there's gonna be like resistance. And weirdly, I think if
you like accept the resistance and just move and push

(53:05):
past the resistance and you just go, you'll be like, oh,
this was sick, you know, but you got to get
past that little bit of It's worth getting past that
little bit of resistance. I suppose that's just from my
own personal experiences. Every time I've pushed past a little

(53:25):
bit of resistant, like I've I've I've taken my little
gecko out like irl filming equipment somewhere and setting and
setting it up and been like, what the this is
not gonna go well? And then I set it up
and then it goes well, and then I'm like, Okay,
I just needed to. I'm glad I pushed past the resistance.

(53:49):
So I mean, I guess that's just how it's kind
of been working for me lately.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
I think, Yeah, no, I totally understand that that's behavioral activation.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
That's I know. I didn't know there was a goddamn
word for it. I thought I was just didn't act.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Say. Behavior activation is actually a very helpful at least
for me.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
It's very helpful behavior.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
It's a matter of doing it.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
It's a matter of just doing it.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Is So, you know, what sends me into a goddamn
existential crisis is the fact that everything that I think
I'm like discovering about myself is like, there's there's ever
every every thought I've ever had, there's a fucking textbook
to describe. There's some textbook. That is a fucking thing
to describe it anyway.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
I think that's called getting older and learning more about
things you didn't know about previously. Yeah, yeah, go to the.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Go to the goddamn knitting group.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Yeah, I'm definitely gonna make that happen. But I guess
the part that I that's bothered me is the fact
of who I relate to and you know, the things
that I'm interested in. Aside from that, I mean, I'm
not going to make that my entire life, but I

(55:12):
do want support in my life, you know. Yeah, like
I want to make friends, I want to that kind
of thing. And so I guess I just I just
don't know how Like in my head, I'm in my thirties,
my really thirties, and then when people find out how

(55:34):
old I am, it's kind of like I guess an
it I don't know.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Then then just I don't know, man. I think, just
keep being, keep being whatever age you are in your head,
you know, Yeah, what's the what's the point of succumbing
to other people's kind of idea of what your life is?

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Like?

Speaker 2 (55:57):
I mean also, also I think there's a thing to
be set again of like you know, if you want
to make friends and have a community and do all
this shit, you gotta go. You gotta go first. That's
what I again, that's what I'm learning in my own life,
is you gotta go first. Yeah, you gotta be the
one to You show up at the knitting group, you
meet a bunch of friends, and then you go, hey,
I'm actually gonna do another knitting group on fucking Tuesdays,

(56:20):
and we're gonna do it at my house, and at
least five other people at the fucking knitting group. We're
gonna be like, all right, And then all of a
sudden you got all these knitting friends, and then all
of a sudden you're like, oh, I feel completely different
than I did, uh, six weeks ago, because I fucking
took a shot and didn't wait around for you know,
life to come find me and I did something small

(56:40):
and it fucking you know, change changed changed. But I mean,
that's that's I think. The big trap that you can
get into is kind of waiting for these things to
find you without real life. And I'm by the way,
I just really, uh, none of this is a This

(57:00):
is all again just me reiterating my own learned experience
to myself, you know, just yeah, fucking you gotta go first.
You gotta go first.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
Yeah, I mean it's pretty much common sense. I mean
it's like it's like diet and exercise, where you know
what you need to do, you know what's going to
require you just got to make yourself do it. And
that's sometimes the hardest part.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
Yeah, knitting's cool. I wish I had something. I wish
I had something funny. I feel like I you know
what I've been thinking about a lot, is uh. I
think when this podcast is listed as a comedy philosophy
podcast and I'm realizing, I'm like, it's been I'm a
little bit better at it. I think when I'm outside,

(57:53):
I'm not. I don't feel very funny in a room
alone by myself. But uh, I'll be like, man, I've
done it's been about seventy minutes. I haven't said one
fucking funny thing anyway.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
I mean, when you start talking about real life, you know,
real life, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
I don't know, but I mean maybe maybe so maybe you.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Need to specify the kind of conversations you're looking to have.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
That's the thing, though, is I Yeah. But that's the
thing is if every I like having those. But if
every conversation is like I diarrhea on my friend's balls,
that would be I think I get bored of that.
I like, I like talking about real life, but not
all the time. I don't know, I'm crazy anyway. What's

(58:42):
your name again? No?

Speaker 4 (58:43):
I get it?

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Fuck Fox? Fuck?

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Just thank you? This was fun.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Thanks for joining me on the Gecko Show. And I'll
see you. I'll see you at the knitting group. Maybe
I'll show up. Actually I probably won't because I don't
know how to knit, but I hope you go.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
I think it would be kind of difficult with those
big fingers anyway.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have a good fox go
to the knitting Go to the knitting club. Okay, okay,
by Fox By it sounds I don't know, there's so much.
Sometimes I sometimes I'm like, oh, I gotta you know.
Sometimes I'm like, oh fuck, I'm just gonna it's all over.

(59:39):
There's no hope. Uh this is depressing. Sometimes I'm like,
ah fuck, there's no hope. It's all over. We're done,
we're finished. And then you get it. But those are
thought this is the thing. Those are thoughts that you
have when you're alone in your house in your underwear. Right,

(01:00:02):
those are the thoughts you have when you're alone in
your house in underwear, and then you find their strength
to all Right, I'm gonna go to fucking knitting club.
You're at knitting club and you're like, oh, this a
cross stitch. That's interesting. Oh look, this person made a bunny.
Maybe if I keep going, I can make a bunny.
And then all of a sudden, you don't want to

(01:00:23):
kill yourself. I was talking to my friend on the phone.
I'm sure I have said this on the podcast already,
but I don't care. I'm gonna say it again even
if I have. I'm talking to my friend on the phone.
I was telling him about my existential crisis and he
was like, he said the most genius thing to me,

(01:00:49):
made a lot of sense. He was like talking about
his life and he's like, yeah, me and my friends
we do trivia every Monday. That's fun. Maybe do something
like that. And he was like and then he said,
you can't kill yourself if you have trivia on Mondays.

(01:01:09):
And I was like, that's genius. How do I how
do I medal? What is what is like trivia on Mondays?
As a metaphor, right, like, how do I create trivia
on Mondays? In my life? That's what I'm about. So yeah,
go to the knitting club. Can't kill yourself if you
got If you got knitting club on Mondays? From Lincoln, Hello,

(01:01:36):
how's it going? How's life? What's you up to?

Speaker 5 (01:01:39):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:01:39):
I just came back from a real therapy, so that
that was pretty sick. I've been going through a breakup,
which sucks. But you know, bro, we're out here, we're killing,
we're doing all right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
What's uh what does it mean to be out there?
Like you're out like you're back dating, or you're out
here like you're still alive, you're still doing it.

Speaker 6 (01:02:02):
You know, it's a weird it's a weird point. I'm
actually about to graduate college, you know. Uh, so it's
it's weird, you know, going through a breakup, but you
know you're only going to see the person for another month,
and you're only going to see like all of your
other friends for another month, and then you're starting like
a totally new chapter. It's pretty crazy stuff. So by

(01:02:23):
out there, I mean I think I'm out there in
a really weird limital space in my life, and you
know it is what it is, real quick, real quick,
real quick.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
This is crazy.

Speaker 6 (01:02:35):
Actually, did you remember do you remember do you remember
Bonner in twenty twenty two?

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Of course?

Speaker 5 (01:02:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:02:41):
Do you remember the on the first day of Bonner?
Do you remember those like two college kids with the
college radio station who came up and interviewed you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
Uh did they interview me while I was smoking a cigarette?

Speaker 6 (01:02:53):
It was in like that press tent area. You were
in full costume. It was like middle of the day Thursday.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:02:58):
I don't remember if you were if you were smoking
a cigarette.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
Anyway, I was one of those. I was one of
those one of those.

Speaker 6 (01:03:06):
Uh that like interviewed you and it's crazy like four
years later, Yeah, no, it was.

Speaker 5 (01:03:12):
It was.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
It was.

Speaker 6 (01:03:13):
It was awesome with hell and I gotta be honest
with you, like I was like debating, like you know,
like dropping out and like doing some other ship. But
you know, hey, man, you giving me an interview. You know, Hey,
that was like, you know, maybe I'm kind of good
at this, you know, maybe people want to.

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
Talk to me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
And I did.

Speaker 6 (01:03:29):
I stayed with it. So I was, yeah, I really
appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
But yeah, of course that's that's fucking that's awesome. What
do you so tell? Yeah, what what's what's going on
with you?

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
What what you been up to? Well?

Speaker 6 (01:03:42):
I stopped doing the radio station because my boss was
a bit of a tyrant and I didn't get paid.
And then I got a really cool paid job working
in video production. So if you need anybody who's on
their video production team, who's you know, about to graduate,
still looking for a job, So he plug out there?

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
You know, real quick?

Speaker 5 (01:04:01):
Where did you do on LinkedIn?

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Where'd you go to school? And what'd you Wou'd you study?

Speaker 6 (01:04:07):
I go to the University of Tennessee, so go volves,
you know, big school. But yeah, I studied journalism. So
started out doing radio stuff and now I'm a Now
I'm doing video. It's crazy, it's fun.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
And then what are you what are you hoping to
do after you graduate?

Speaker 6 (01:04:28):
I'm hoping to have a stable job, you know, wife
and kids, a suburban American dream nothing like I know, nothing,
nothing too like vanilla. But honestly, like before all like
the dream job crap. I look, you just want to
like have a comfortable life.

Speaker 5 (01:04:44):
That's what.

Speaker 6 (01:04:45):
That's the dream right there, you know, cause it's crazy.
It's very uncertain these days. It's no longer a guarantee.
I mean, it never really was, but you know it is.

Speaker 5 (01:04:55):
It is what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
That's interesting you say that it never really was what
never really was a guarantee? Yeah, what does that mean
to you?

Speaker 6 (01:05:04):
Well, I mean, you know, I feel like all like
the boomers out there, you know they you know, they
they got these like big houses now and like Daytona Beach.
You know, they're going on boats, getting like vip NASCAR
passes and shit, you know, and every and everyone thinks that, like,
you know, like life was easy for them, and to
a degree was significantly easier to them, but you know, hey,

(01:05:28):
we all had to struggle at one point, I guess.
So I think I think it's a little bit weird,
you know, always being like, you know, man, it was
so easy back then, but I'm sure that there was
some stuff that was hard. You know, I don't have
to go fight no war, not to like lick boomers
boots or anything.

Speaker 5 (01:05:41):
They don't deserve it.

Speaker 6 (01:05:42):
They're annoying as hell. But you know, the American dream
was never guaranteed that anybody, And the American dream is
probably you know, I gotta stop saying that I sound
like a fucking maga crazy person.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
No, I mean you you say, well, look, I mean
American dream. All it is in the way that you're
using it is. It's just a metaphor for like what
you're talking about, where you're like, look, I want a
suburban home and a wife and kids and to have
enough money to support them. And that's really it.

Speaker 6 (01:06:10):
Yeah, you know, I grew up with a nice family,
I guess, so it would be nice to be able
to kind of continue that legacy, you know, have a
nice little, nice little quaint life. I don't need to
be like working on movies or anything.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
Yeah, Yeah, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. Well, because yeah, I
mean a lot of I think a lot of people, yeah,
graduate from film school with like big dreams. It's it's
interesting that this thing of like how ambitious to be
and there's no right or wrong answer. I think society

(01:06:51):
kind of compels people to believe that there's a right
or a wrong answer in both directions too, you know
what I mean, Like there's sometimes, uh, society pressures you
to like compare yourself to other people and be like, well,
you gotta if you have the potential to tell these

(01:07:11):
great stories and this great career, and they're like, if
you don't, you must live up to your potential. And
you know, it's it's everything in fucking life is a
balancing act and a double edged sword, because there is
I think a lot of joy in quote unquote living
up to your potential and uh, you know, working hard

(01:07:33):
on things that you care about and try to build
something that you care about. But doing that, it's a
lot of guff and a lot of stress and a
lot of anxiety. You're gonna like there's if you follow
that hat, I'm gonna not inherently, but I mean, I
don't know why I'm I'm just talking from my own

(01:07:54):
lived experience. Is like I've tried to follow that path.
I've tried to follow that path and it there's a
lot of to it. And then the opposite side is
like just learn to be happy with whatever your lot
is and don't worry about this great big pressure of

(01:08:14):
living up to your potential whatever the fuck. And again,
just yeah, from my own lived experience is like, I
think there's something calming in that, but I also get
depressed when I'm not feeling like I'm building something or
doing something that's important to me. But every individual is
going to have a different answer to these questions, you know.

(01:08:40):
It's kind of that's the hard part. But I mean, yeah,
if you want to have a wife and a kid
and just make enough money to live, you know, I
think that's where do you where? You're in Tennessee.

Speaker 6 (01:08:57):
I'm in Tennessee.

Speaker 5 (01:08:58):
I'm going to get out though. Here's the thing.

Speaker 6 (01:09:00):
Knoxville is where like my college is, right, So it's
like a mid sized city, you know, like like just
under two hundred thousand people. It has a couple of
suburbs that has a decent downtown. But it's like it's
nothing huge. It's a really nice place though, And I
would come back whenever they changed up their politics, of course,

(01:09:20):
because Tennessee is a bit of a hell hole, you know,
if you have any compassion for any people. But yeah,
trying to get out, you know, So I don't know
where I'm gonna be. I've applied to like places all
over the country.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
Man.

Speaker 6 (01:09:32):
I've applied for jobs in like Washington and Cincinnati and
Miami and New York, and La and I've just I'm
applied to all these places, even like the middle of
nowhere in Idaho. So I don't know, it's crazy, it's
it's insane.

Speaker 1 (01:09:49):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:09:50):
I had like stability, right, I had like a girlfriend,
and now you know, I have like totally in this
limbo period for a month where I have no idea
how my life's gonna pan out. Well, like everything to
be drastically different, drastically different in like forty five days.

Speaker 2 (01:10:05):
Yeah, but that's yeah. But I think when you're when
you're just graduated from college, I mean that's good, right,
you would rather I think you'd rather things be drastically
different than to be uh the same forever.

Speaker 6 (01:10:20):
Yeah, And that's so, And that's that's true. I I'm
totally cool being in this limbo state that I'd be
lying if I if I said I was immune to
the anxiety of it.

Speaker 5 (01:10:29):
All right, Yeah, it's you know, like, yeah, it's it's
it's tough.

Speaker 3 (01:10:36):
It's tough.

Speaker 6 (01:10:37):
There are a few things that I don't know that
that I think would be cool. I did ah, I
did stand up comedy a couple of times, you know,
you know, because you know all these quirky white boys,
you know, they want to do stand up comedy.

Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
Yeah, you know, I think I did.

Speaker 6 (01:10:51):
A pretty good job. You know, people people thought it
was funnest, you know it it'd be cool to like
move to city like Chicago and like join like an
improv troop or something and then then I don't know,
see where that takes me.

Speaker 5 (01:11:02):
That could be cool.

Speaker 2 (01:11:03):
I bet you would have a lot of fun doing that.
It's funny. I recently I did stand up from sixteen
to twenty two, So I did it for like what
six years or something like that, and then I kind
of quit once I started doing the Gecko. Although, like

(01:11:24):
I do the live shows that are kind of have
stand up elements to them, and I've recently gotten back
into doing stand up at like like just regular stand
up as myself, just like going to fucking just going
to open mics around town. Yeah, and uh, it's fun.
I like it is just telling.

Speaker 6 (01:11:46):
Yeah, it's ridiculous, like telling a telling a joke and
the like doing well, it's it's a high that really
can't be matched.

Speaker 2 (01:11:54):
Yeah, I don't know for sure.

Speaker 6 (01:11:56):
It's it's it's crazy, but no, it's awesome, man, to
be honest, I wanted to like it's been a goal
of mine in the last few years to like call
in and like, you know, tell you about like that
Bonner experience, and like, truly how much it meant to
me because I hadn't interviewed a lot of people before
then with that radio station, and like, you know, we

(01:12:17):
we actually I think I think I just asked you
for a picture and you're like, well, shit, let me
do a whole interview, and kind of blew my mind, like,
oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
He wanted to talk to me, of course, man, Yeah,
it was crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
I do have one question.

Speaker 6 (01:12:30):
Yeah, you mentioned in that interview there was a kid
who like called you and told you that like he
was on shrooms. Yeah, and then it's like mom walked
in and you were like, yeah, do you know your
sons on shrooms? Did you ever get like closure to that?

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
I don't get closure on any of this stuff. Once
the phone hangs out, Once the phone hangs up, that
person has gone forever. Pretty much.

Speaker 5 (01:12:50):
It's incredible.

Speaker 6 (01:12:51):
Well, I mean, if hey, if I hang don't forget me. Okay,
that's all I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
I'm almost certainly going to forget your name. But okay,
if you I will remember who you are. If a
year from now you're like, hey, I'm that guy who
interviewed you up on Aero and then called you again,
I'll be like, oh, I remember you, but I I don't.
I don't remember people's names for some reason.

Speaker 6 (01:13:13):
So dude, it's all good. No, I just kind of
just fulfilled a bit of like a bucket list item.
You know, this is crazy, this this has been like
this has been my white whale is getting on.

Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
Here, and like I hope like saying thank you for that,
I well, thank you very much. I hope your ambition
goes further than that or not or not, I hope
you well, I guess I'm so curious, like what kind
of jobs are you applying for in oh around town, Like.

Speaker 6 (01:13:39):
Video production, video production specialist jobs, you know, just like
trying to like work like in house with a company
and like do their marketing for them, because like a
lot of companies will like outsource that, but some companies
have their own like team, and I feel like working
in house would get me a lot better benefits and
a lot more stability. I applied for a job and

(01:14:01):
I'm Olympia, Washington, being the city of Olympia's video production guy.
So i'd like live stream their board meetings, which you know,
it's not crazy work, but you know, it's fun work.
It's it's fun like just getting to like edit and
video stuff. It's like I'm playing with boys.

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
You know, it's not Look man, look man, go you
could have a great life in Olympia, Washington. You go,
you do your fucking stupid job, you do open mics
at night, you meet some lady, you have kids, you
go on hikes. Is a great life waiting for you
and in any of the places that you might end up.

(01:14:43):
You know, I I appreciate it. I do believe that.
I really do believe that.

Speaker 6 (01:14:48):
I greatly appreciate it. I greatly appreciate it. Well, hey listen,
I'm not gonna take too much of your time. I
know there's a lot of people who have like actual
like stories, but you.

Speaker 2 (01:14:56):
Know, I just hold on, hold on, hold on, by
the oh way. I just want you to know something,
and I want this is just you. This is an
actual story. Your life is an actual story. I might
move to Olympia, Washington. It's actually it's funny. It's the
most actual story because someone could call after this and
be like, you know, I did ayahuasca thirty five times

(01:15:21):
and then uh made out with my dad and we
moved to Paris like whatever. And it's like, Okay, that's crazy,
but it's like that's not not everyone does that, you know,
So this is your story even if it's not even
it's a common it's a common story, but that doesn't
make it not an actual one exactly.

Speaker 5 (01:15:43):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:15:44):
Yeah, I appreciate that, you know. I always listen to
this show and I'm like, there's see who were calling
them like, yeah, I was a drug dealer for twenty
five years. I'm like, oh shit, But that's that's what
I That's.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
What I like, though, is that is like life is crazy,
and the sense that it on there's spectrums of it
of like, oh, this is really crazy over here, and
then there's a lot in the middle where it's just like, yeah,
I don't know, everything's fine.

Speaker 5 (01:16:12):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
Life is terrifying and joyful and also a lot of
the times very very boring. So you know, it's kind
of I guess an amalgam of all that. Anyway, what's your.

Speaker 6 (01:16:27):
Name again, Lincoln President?

Speaker 2 (01:16:31):
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go.

Speaker 6 (01:16:38):
You know, I'm rocking in the free world. Later on Lincoln, Yes, sir, alrighty,
Peace be with you, Gek.

Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
That was Lincoln. I don't know why I said I
don't know why. The example I used was make out
with your dad and move to Peru. Actually, I guess,
I guess I do know why I said that. I
said that because that is an unconventional thing to do,
to make out with your dad and move to Peru.
So actually I take back my questioning on that. Well,

(01:17:10):
that was a nice podcast. That was a nice episode.
Good phone calls. It's great to hear about people's lives.
Do I have anything to say to end the podcast.
I don't know if I do. I don't know if
I do. I'm glad to keep talking to people. This

(01:17:31):
is chill, this is good. I feel like we're on
bonus time right now just doing this. I'm gonna let
whoever's listening to this get back to their lives or
get back or go is somewhere else on the internet
or their phone or whatever. Thank you guys for listening.

(01:17:54):
I'll be back again again next week. I think next
episode I'm probably gonna end up doing a a live
one like an IRL one. I like doing those. I
feel like it bumps my energy up, So I think
I'm gonna try that for the next episode of this.

(01:18:17):
Thank you all for being here to talk to talk.
I read all the Spotify comments compulsively, So if you
got something to say in the Spotify comments, maybe I
shouldn't read the Spotify comments. Maybe my life would be
better if I just did the podcast and then shut
my phone off and never looked at the internet. But

(01:18:38):
who knows if I'm gonna in the event that I
in the event that I cow and I cowered out,
and I don't do that, you can leave comments on
Spotify or YouTube and I'll try to look at them. Okay,
thank you for listening to the podcast. Get Blessed, See
you around the universe.

Speaker 1 (01:18:56):
Goes on the line taking your phone calls every nine
KT goes through on his eyes. He just teaching him
how to be like but he's not really an expert.