“I WANT TO DO NOTHING”

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All from Maddie.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hello, can you hear me? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (00:03):
Hey, what's your name, Maddie, Maddie, what's up, Maddie? What's up?
What's going on with you? You know?

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Nothing much? I uh, I'm just eating some pizza right now.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
That sounds psychedelic. That sounds psychedelic eating pizza. You know.
I'm sad.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
I just I just can't. This is just crazy, but continue. Sorry.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
I was just gonna say, it's really about the simple
things in life. Is eating pizza is so great? I
talk a lot on here about like my own like
food bullshit, and I've been thinking about this. Tell me,
tell me what you think, Maddie is I can't decide

(00:53):
if I'm happier when I'm not eating like shit or
when I'm eating like shit, because something like there's just
an acute happiness that I feel when I eat a
giant cheese steak and fries and watch YouTube, and it's

(01:14):
I don't there is like one could say a greater
amount of contentment in living a healthy lifestyle, but I
don't know. There's it's probably a balance. There's probably a
way to balance it, because once you eat like shit
for too long, the effects diminished but god, I did

(01:35):
nothing fucking matches it. I like, like sex or drugs
or what like. I've had no dopamine high quite like
eating an entire pint of peanut butter s'mores, Ben and Jerry's.

(01:56):
I really and and to deprive myself of that feels
like it makes life less worth living. But also to
indulge too heavily to the point where it's not even
enjoyable anymore. It's also so I don't know. There's all
I find a great joy and exercise, Like I like

(02:20):
lifting weights, I love walking, I love exercising, but I
don't like eating a salad gives me no joy. I
don't know.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
What do you?

Speaker 3 (02:30):
What do you think, Maddie?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, I've like been having this similar issue because I'm
like a good eater, you know, and I don't know
I've been I've been trying to like be more healthy,
but like I will literally like do the mill prep thing.
It takes fucking forever, and then I could sit there
and like eat it all I feel like, and it's

(02:52):
because it's healthy, and then I'm like not even full,
I feel like, but also part of it is definitely
just sugar, and it's like another I don't know, it's
another money spending thing in this capitalistic world. You know,
not to sound like that, but sugar is addicting as fuck,
and fast food just the ease that it provides, I guess,

(03:17):
but I don't know. I've been struggling. I'm like sitting
at I'm sitting here looking at this pizza and I've
eaten one piece and I could easily eat the whole
thing probably, but I'm not gonna do it because it's summertime.
I need I need that summer body, so I'm just
gonna look at it.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
What are your plans for the summertime? Do you have
anything exciting happening?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
You know? I, well, I'm broke, so I'm gonna do
the best I can. But I'm actually I'm going to
LA next week, so I think that'll be fine. I
got a friend to pay for my plane ticket, which
was pretty baller, so yeah, I'm just gonna hang out
there for a few days. I'm moving this summer, so

(04:01):
that should be fun too. But yeah, kind of on
a budget, so not much besides just working and saving money.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Honestly, Uh, your friend did your friend pay for your
plane ticket out of the kindness of their heart or
was there were there strings attached?

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Well, there's no strings attached. Her mom is a flight
or she used to be a flight attendant, so they
get some weird like ticket perks now, which I'm super
jealous of. But I guess I'm in on it now.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
So hmm, well, Mattie, let me ask you this, is
there anything in particular that you called in to want
to talk about?

Speaker 1 (04:39):
You know, not really, I didn't really think you'd answer,
to be honest with you. Last stream I was calling
as well because I was on a little road trip
driving back home, and you always talk about how do
like you romanticize things in your life, and I was
like definitely having that moment home, like listening to sad music,

(05:02):
and then I saw you like get on the stream
or whatever, so I was like, damn, like I need
to talk to him about this. But you know, now
I'm already I'm already back in my current home, so
that romantic feeling is gone. But I know.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
It's an interesting thing, romanticizing your life. I think about it.
I've been thinking about it recently because there's parts of
my life that I romanticize, like when I'm traveling or
doing grand things, or talking with my parents or or

(05:40):
with friends, or there's parts of my life that I
certainly romanticize, and some of them are like inherently romantic,
like traveling and whatnot. But I think the idea of
living a holy romantic life or every second of it

(06:01):
is romantic, that there's something exhausting to that, you know
what I mean? Like I like like almost like oh
it never, you gotta you gotta give yourself some time
to breathe, you gotta get cause that's that's why eating
the cheese steak in front of my TV watch like
eating the cheese steak and fries in front of my TV,

(06:22):
I want there is nothing romantic about that at all,
and I wouldn't dare attempt to make it romantic because
when everything's romantic, it's so grand and lofty and sometimes
just sometimes you just want to fucking be a normal ass,

(06:43):
like just live in normal fucking whatever bullshit life, which.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Is eating And how are you supposed to do that? Though?
How how do you be normal? Do you know?

Speaker 3 (06:55):
You just eat a sandwich and watch TV. It's the
most it's the least romantic thing you could do but
be But I try to be in the moment of it,
and I go, I am so fuck I actually, I
actually I actively de romanticize it. I ate it last night.
I ate a cheese steak and fries, and I thought
to myself, there is nowhere else on the planet and

(07:18):
nothing else I would rather be doing at this exact moment.
I am honored. You know what, I know, what I'm
thinking about right now is I'm actually I'm talking a
lot of bullshit. I actually completely romanticized eating a sandwich.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
I literally, yeah, like the most normal, Like it's so
normal of you.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
I thought myself. I thought to myself, I cause I
sat down and I'm trying not to feel guilty about
like whatever. But I mean some some things you are
you should feel guilty about, like you know, being addicted
to the fucking Instagram all day or whatever. But I

(07:57):
was eating this cheese steak and watching TV, and I
literally said to myself, I am honored to sit here
and eat this and watch a YouTube video about defective
Sonic plushies or whatever the fuck bullshit I'm watching. This
is a great I'm I'm so happy to be doing

(08:20):
this right now, which I think actually is romanticizing it.
So I'm wrong. I do romanticize eating a sandwich.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, well, it's hard. It's hard to catch yourself doing
something normal and then not being like, oh, I'm doing it.
Look I'm doing it, and then once you notice you're
doing it, it's not really normal anymore. In my opinion,
I don't know. Maybe that's the first steps. Because I'm
a human.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
I'm back. I'm always back and forth between like, oh,
life is this infinitesimal, crazy event that I'm experiencing in
the middle of two walls of a Blacklivian that are
all the time before I was born and all the
time after I die, And I should spend this little
speck of time in oblivion doing like be trying to

(09:10):
be amazing and romantic all the time, you know, But
it's too much to ask. It's too much to ask
to do it.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Well, yeah, I do. I have this issue where I like, well,
I guess it's romanticizing. I set myself up like I'm
in a movie or something, and that might sound like
so selfish and like, oh my.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
God, hold on, hold on, hell I can I stop?
Can I stop? Can I stop you real quick? Because immediately, yes,
I'm curious you immediately went negative with what you're saying.
You immediately said it was a problem, and you said
it was selfish. Why do you feel it is either
of those things inherently? Why did you?

Speaker 4 (09:49):
Well?

Speaker 1 (09:49):
I feel like I think it's just like you, like
us as individual humans, would like to think the things
around you are happening because of you or for you,
but like, obviously it's not. You know, it's just like
the world and randomness, and I like will inherently be like,
oh this this was a sign or something or when

(10:13):
it really was just like something random that happened. I
can't even think of an example, honestly, but like I
will sit there and like, I guess it's not even
like jumping to conclusions, but just kind of you imagine
things in my mind. I guess I don't know.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
Well, I don't think. I don't think that's inherently bad.
You're basically what you're doing is you're take like life
is chaotic and random and has no narrative or order
to it, but and you are choosing to take this
chaos and craft a narrative from it. So I mean

(10:52):
that's what you're doing. You're crafting a narrative and I
guess if you want to be a nihilist, you could
say that the narrative you're crafting, yes, is built on
a foundation of you know, chaos and inherent meaninglessness. But
I think it's good to craft a narrative. I don't
think it's selfish. I think it's it's it's something to

(11:17):
cling to. You know, you're you're you're creating something to
cling to within the chaos. And I this is gonna
sound like woo woo, but it's kind of amazing that
as human beings we have we can do that. You know,
that's like a weird, like godly gift to create your

(11:42):
own narrative from this chaos. So I don't think it's selfish.
I think it's like it's you're like tapping into your
higher existence when you as your own narrative. I mean,
as long as you're not as long as you're not like,
you know, yeah, being if I don't know, I'm trying

(12:02):
to think of an example, like, as long as you
don't think every single thing is about you all the
time and just being like a fucking asshole.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, I don't think I'm an asshole at this point,
but maybe one day I'll become one.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
I think.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
I feel like people get a little bit more assholey
as they get older. I haven't met many people that
are like, oh, I was such an asshole back then
and now I'm better. Like I feel like it was
like it's the other way around for most people.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Why do you why do you think people get become
assholes as they get older?

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Man, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
I feel like it's just like it's it's more of
like a've been there, done that sort of situation. It's
you've been through more, and it's kind of it's easier
to like jump to conclusions. I feel like it's like
the same reason why like like my grandparents are I
don't know, it's like they I guess they're just like

(13:01):
less accepting of things, whereas I'm like, why would you
really care about something that doesn't even affect you?

Speaker 3 (13:07):
You know.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
But also I've you know, I've met some people that
have like really cleaned up and like have been on
a non asshole journey. I guess, But I don't know.
I just feel like that's kind of the way it goes.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
It's always and anytime I see I've probably said this
on the podcast before. But anytime I see like a
you know, when you see like an like an elderly
person like yelling at a customer service person and you're
every time I see that, I'm like, dude, you had
eighty fucking years to figure this out? How are you

(13:53):
still at? Like you're at like level zero of consciousness
right now when you're doing that right you're and how
did you get How are you at?

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Like?

Speaker 3 (14:04):
How are you eighty fucking years old and you're at
like level zero still? It's crazy?

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I am. I'm a cashier at the moment, and
I literally sell T shirts and I deal with that
every single day. Like someone will walk in and dislike
something about a T shirt and then like stand there
and argue with me like they're like I'm holding them hostage,
and like there have been multiple times where I have

(14:30):
to be like you can leave. You know, I'm not
asking you to buy anything, but uh, I don't know. People,
it's kind of a power move, I feel like for
some of those old people, but it's it's also like,
I mean, it's not even just old people that I
run into, Like it could be anyone and you never
know who it's gonna be either, it's kind of crazy.
I don't understand. Like, I don't know. I've I've had

(14:53):
a I've worked customer service like pretty much my whole life,
I feel like, but I've never been like in a
situation where I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm so excited to
bitch at this worker right now, Like that's what I'm
gonna do when I walk in.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
I guess, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
I don't know where that comes from.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
It probably comes from like they don't I assume that
they don't have a lot, or like that all their
friends and family are like dead, or like they don't
have I don't know. I don't know how people end
up like that. I really don't. I mean, also, we
grew up differently because we we exist at this weird

(15:35):
turning point in society.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Oh man, Yeah, this is definitely a weird time. I
don't even want to get into that, honestly. Yeah, all
anyone talks about you know what I mean, And that's
all I That's all I talk about at work too.
It's like, oh, the economy, and I'm like, yeah, I
don't even Yeah, I have like no money saved. That's
all I have to say. Like, that's all I got

(16:00):
to add to that.

Speaker 3 (16:01):
I guess I was talking less about the economy more
about just like technology in general.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Uh, yes, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
Right, You're right, we don't have I mean, if you
had something you wanted to say about that, you can
say it.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
No, I mean honestly, So I guess, like a little
context into my life. I just graduated college with a
communications degree because I ran out of time to figure
out what I actually wanted to do and money. So
I was like, let me just get something out of this,
you know. And my whole little background was film production,

(16:41):
but I somehow made it through without ever figuring out
how to use a camera or like all this very
important stuff. So now I'm like out here in the
real world being like, yeah, I like film production, and
then it's like, oh, yeah, I don't use a camera.
Oh yeah, I don't know how to edit, you know,
and like this is stuff that I could easily teach
myself how to do, and for some reason it's like

(17:04):
I don't. I don't know, I just don't feel like it.
But I also like don't know what I like. And
I guess that's kind of where I am right now,
and especially with technology, like like there's all these things
that people are like, oh, you need to know how
to do this and that. Like the amount of times
someone told me to make a fucking LinkedIn account, I'm like, dude,
why can't I just like sell apples or something.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
Well a few things to that is uh I I yeah,
I talk about this a lot. I also went to
film school, and yeah, they make you watch old movies
and they don't actually teach you anything.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
No, I wasted my money and my teachers they didn't
really not to throw them under the bus because I
had a good time, but like they didn't know how
to do anything either, because I feel like that's kind
of like an ever changing industry, you know, And they're
all like pretty old.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, no, yeah, they're they're they the film school. I'm
just I'm god, I've been on this rent eight thousand times,
but yeah, the film school track is like the people
who like teach at film school usually are like they'll
be like, yeah, I've been working on the same documentary
for seven years and we're going to try to get

(18:16):
a grant for and it's just they're just in a
universe that is not the universe of that media is
actually consumed in. But anyway, so why why do you
just want to sell apples? Why can't you sell apples?

Speaker 1 (18:33):
I mean, I guess I could, but like then, I
also have this thing where like I obviously want to
be like comfortable one day, you know, and like not
having this. I feel like if you sell apples, you
just sell You have to sell apples for the rest
of your life to survive. And I don't want to
be old selling apples. Interesting, what do you But I

(18:54):
would like to I would like to be young and
sell apples like right now, okay.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
Well what do you why not? I guess I don't.
I don't see why you How old are you now?
Are you twenty two?

Speaker 1 (19:06):
I'm twenty three?

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yeah, fucking go sell apples? Why not?

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah? Maybe I will. I guess. It's more of the
it's kind of this. I was actually talking to my
coworker about this today, the feeling of like, oh shit,
like I am gonna be like I'm gonna be like
a middle aged person one day, like hopefully, you know,
And that's like a that's that's kind of new to me,

(19:34):
I guess, because I don't know. I was like really
fucking around up until like right now, like this year
pretty much and now like not to get all like
existential I feel like, but it's just like damn, like
this shit is real, you know, yeah, and like I
can't just like I guess I could go home, but

(19:56):
I that's not that's not the plane at all.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
You know, Yes, I know what you mean. I remember.
I think it was twenty nineteen. I had my Yeah,
when I was in twenty nineteen, I had my existential
crisis of like, oh shit, this is real and I'm

(20:18):
going to have to make money and have like a job,
like have a job and figure out life. I think
I was twenty twenty one, and you know, up until then,
it's like I had just been I was in high
school and I was making movies and doing stand up
and then I went to film school, which, as you know,
is nothing. And then I had a like I know,

(20:42):
I was like you and I was like, oh, I've
just been like fucking around and kind of getting to
do whatever I want for twenty one fucking years and
I'm gonna graduate soon and it's gonna get real. And
then I just I mean, I just got really lucky.

(21:04):
And now I'm now I now I do a podcast.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, you know, how is that? How's that going for you?
Do you like it? Or is there something else that
are you? Like, A damn it, now I have to
do this fucking podcast again.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
In this very moment, I'm enjoying our conversation. I think
it's because I'm on a little bit of caffeine, and
it's also it's you're an easy person. I think you're
an easy person to to talk to. I like because
some you know, I like, I appreciate callers who will
let me just go on really long rants an interrut.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Oh yeah, I didn't even think you were gonna I
didn't think I was gonna get on. So I'm like
not prepared at all.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
Okay, that's okay, that's okay. There's nothing to prepare for.
That's the guys, and there's other things I want to do.
But I'm enjoying. I mean, it's nice. It's nice to
get to talk to so many people. You know, it's
been it's been great. Before this, my plan, I had
a plan though. My plan was that I was going

(22:11):
to I had been like helping like some of my
dad's friends with like doing video, like helping them they
ran like they're own, like law firms, and so I
was helping them like make their make YouTube videos on

(22:31):
Facebook videos to promote their law firms. And so that
that was my plan. My plan was I was going
to be like a social media manager for like dentists
and lawyers and uh like small businesses, and I was
gonna The plan was I was going to do that
to make money and then on the side, uh, make

(22:57):
my own videos and stuff.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, that's kind of my plan right now. Honestly, I'm
just like praying I can get a social media type
job at least to say, I use my degree for
a few years and then maybe I'll like magically figure
out what I'm am like actually super into.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
I mean you want to you want to pick what?
What would you say? You want to sell apples? Is
that like a are you being specific? Or is that
a is that is does sell apples? Is that a
broad way of saying do something simple? And you know real?

Speaker 1 (23:34):
You know I It's it's more of just like a
like a space filler, I guess, because like my my
biggest problem is that I really I have like this
sounds so depressing, but I have no passions. I feel
like like my when you were sitting there talking about
like literally just eating and watching YouTube. I've seriously considered.

(23:55):
I'm like, should I do muck thangs? Like should I
get famous for like being a fat ass or something?
But like selling apples is just like a you know,
like my just my blank spot for trying to figure
out like what the fuck I actually want to do,

(24:15):
because right now I sell T shirts and I'm like,
if I was getting paid like ten more dollars an hour,
I really like this would be fine, you know what
I mean. And that's like kind of I don't know.
I want to be like, oh, like let me aspire
to be something great. But like also like if I'm
making money and doing an easy job, like I feel
like I cannot complain, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah, I I know exactly what you mean. I've been
thinking about that a lot. I genuinely have. I've been
thinking a lot about like, you know, I mean, there's
infinite different ways to live life, and you don't and
you can actually even kind of weave in and out

(25:02):
of phases of your life where where like at some.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
I guess.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
The thing I've been thinking about is like is it
okay to just fucking live or do you always have
to be like you're talking about, like striving to be
great and striving to do be amazing. You know, it's
a lot of pressure.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
And I do I think it's I think it's totally
fine to like have a humble living and like live
your life. Yeah, but I guess I guess kind of
was like, you know, I'm always on the Instagrams and
the whatevers, and it's just like you see these people
doing like insanely crazy things, like in your face all

(25:54):
fucking day, and it's like, god damn it. Like I'm
sitting here like hitting my vapes in the back of
this tea shop.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
Dude, our fucking brains are not We're not meant to
be I really do I really feel you on on
all these things that you're talking about. They're all things
I've been thinking about because I'm also on Instagram seeing
people do cool things, and I'm like, gosh, should be
doing more cool things. You know, our brain, our fucking

(26:24):
brains are not meant to be doing this shit like
we were. We were supposed to like live our own
lives and because we had no other reference point, just
be like, oh, the best thing you could do with
your life is dig holes in the dirt for eighty years.
And in some ways some in some ways it's a

(26:49):
negative that we're exposed to fucking literally everything all the time,
and then in some ways it's positive because it could
be you know, inspiring to do Yeah, you know, in
some way, I guess it. I guess with a lot
of shit. It just kind of depends on how you

(27:10):
look at it. Well, okay, so when when you're having
everything shoved in your face on the computer, are there
things in particular that jump out at you where you're like, oh,
I wish I was uh surfing or I don't whatever
it is, you know.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
I so I like I like to watch the like
travel vlogs or whatever. But also another weird thing is
that like like when given the opportunity to like leave
the country or like, you know, I had all these
like study abroad opportunities in college, like I'm just like, no,

(27:50):
I don't know, I don't have a passport, Like I've
never left the country, and like I also don't have
like a dying urge to do so. And I'm like
is that weird? Because everyone's like like, oh, you don't
want to go on this little trip with me to
this other country, and I'm like, look like, I don't know.
I feel like I I find some comfort in sitting

(28:12):
there and just like watching other people do shit. But
then like every now and then I'll be like, oh
my god, like at least just like get up and
open a window or some shit, you know, like feel
feel some real error on you, Like you don't have
to like go hop on a plane right now, but
like figure something out.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
I don't think it's easier to get down on yourself
when when all of that is happening, it's just like
where should I even start? I guess, well.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
That I don't know. I mean, is it just like
a sense of like all feeling guilty because you're not
doing enough? Or is it like, oh I actively I
mean you know it's something you don't actively want to
do any of that.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Yeah, I guess it's more like should I feel like
I want to be doing this for everyone else is?
But like I wouldn't even know that everyone else is
if I wasn't, so just like on my phone, know
what I mean, it's really that damn phone.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
Like, but well, here's an here's another thing to think
about God, I am, I'm I'm such a hypocrite with this,
but I've been thinking about it because I'm also at
a like a little inflection point where I'm trying to
figure out, you know, my passions and dive deeper into them.

(29:29):
But it's like the the the action I'm gonna I am.
If you saw how I spent my day today, you
would kill me for saying this, But it is. I
But you have to believe in the idea, not the
fact that I scrolled Instagram for like five fucking hours today.
The action predicates the motivation, you know what I mean? Okay,

(29:53):
So like so like, look, you're never gonna know if
you like traveling abroad or doing whatever the fuck these
things or selling fucking apples unless if you like, go
do it, you know, right, So I mean, give it.
If you can give it a shot, give it, you know,

(30:16):
give it a shot, and then you'll see and then
and then it's nice, right because if you go to
France or whatever and you get there and you're like,
I really wish I was eating a sandwich and watching
TV right now, then great, you did it. You have
verifiable evidence that you don't actually want to do any
of this shit. I don't know. I don't know where
I stand on that side. I've been thinking, I really

(30:37):
truly it's sorta Maddie matt I ever really truly have
been thinking about this a lot lately, about like feeling
guilty because you feel like you should want something but
then not inherently craving it, And I don't know where
I land on it. I think I land on the

(31:00):
idea that the action predicates the motivation and that you
know you do shit, and then fucking yeah, I think that.
I think that's where I ultimately land on. Because you
don't want to be you don't want to be like
eighty because, like you said, as you realized, you will
be uh old, and you don't want to you don't

(31:23):
want to regret things. But it's also so fucking ea,
I'm realizing this. It's also so fucking easy. If you're eighty,
it would be really easy for you to go. I
swear on my life, if you're eighty, it would be
really easy for you to go. You know, I spent
my life eating sandwiches and watching TV, and honestly, at

(31:49):
the age of eighty, now that it's all over, I
had a great time doing that and then die. Why not?
Why not? Why not? Everyone talks about the deathbed like
it's such and this is all very demotivational. But I
really have been thinking about that because, you know what,
if you got I really because when I sit down

(32:11):
and I eat a sandwich, I was just telling you,
When I eat the fucking sandwich in the frize and
I'm watching a YouTube video of ten facts you didn't
know about Zelda's Skywards Sword, I really can I really
have tapped into this ability in this moment to be like,
what an honor it is to eat of this bread
and watch of the YouTube video? What an honor it is?

(32:33):
And I think when I'm on my deathbed, I could like,
if I died tomorrow, you know, I don't think I
would regret the time I spent doing that. I mean,
i'd like to. I'm very happy that I got to
also go on lots of adventures and have great relationships
and with friends, and do work that I was proud

(32:53):
of and what and I ultimately would like to do
more of those things and less eating sandwiches and watching TV.
But if it ended up that all you ever did
was eat sandwiches, and watch TV. You could you could
feasibly make peace with that in a way that wouldn't

(33:15):
be absurd.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
You know, there's really there was really no other time
like in human history where someone could do that, you know.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
Yeah, yeah, basic basic humanity is Like what do you
have parents? Right? Mm hmm, Like do you have a
good relationship with them?

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yeah, just like yeah, we're all right.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
Do you have friends?

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Yeah, sorta. I I definitely have friends. I guess that's
another thing, Like since I've moved. I've been in a
different state now for like four years now, and it's
been a lot harder to make friends for some reason.
Like I feel like the older you get, the harder
it is to just be like you want to hang
out after this or something, you know. But yeah, I

(34:05):
have a I have a solid little group of people,
and I have some friends that are gonna move with
me in the summer. But and you know, I say
all this like ship, like, oh, I don't know what
I want to do, but like I am also a
very lucky person and I've I've like made it this far,
you know, so something will work out.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
I mean again, if you died tomorrow, you could be like, well,
I had friends, and I had a decent enough relationship
with my mom. And yeah, you know, I got to
watch YouTube. This is great.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
Yeah, I got to talk to the therapy. Get go.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
I I really it's I it's cool going to talk
to you about all this, because I swear I've been
like deep in thought about uh like ambition and whatnot.
I'm always it's a personal it's a person no choice. Well,

(35:02):
you know, I.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Also will say I used to be like, you know,
when I first when I first left my hometown, and
like my freshman year of college, like I graduated high
school twenty twenty, so I the whole COVID thing was happening,
and literally like it was like rock bottom for me.
I was literally sick every day. I went to college

(35:25):
and lost like fifty pounds and I like came back
looking sickly or whatever. And like now I work nine
to five and I go to the gym after and
I eat Quen wall So it's like I'm doing something.
But then it's like, you know, I don't I know, right,
I am like quen wah. But literally it's like I
gotta get I gotta keep getting better, I guess in

(35:47):
my head. And but I have been a lot worse.
So it's like, oh, I'm doing I'm doing good now
I have better and.

Speaker 3 (35:56):
I have this theory. I have this theory. I have
not experienced it in my personal life, but I I
am optimistically believing that it is possible. My theory is
that it it is possible to achieve things and improve

(36:18):
it life and be ambitious without fucking hating yourself. I
have not gotten experience. I have not yet personally experienced this,
but I have to believe it's possible. Maybe maybe it's like, like,
I like, I can you be ambitious from a place

(36:43):
of not hating yourself, because there's a weird like when
like being ambitious and like wanting to improve yourself and
do stuff kind of comes with the inherent partilate that
you are not enough. And I argue, I have you know,
ambitious friends, and I argue with We kind of talked

(37:03):
back and forth about the whole like being enough thing,
and I'm I don't like I get I guess like
if you're like unhappy, like I think it's a weird
paradox because like you take people who are like unhappy
and you try to and you say like, oh, but
you are enough as you are, and it's like, well,
if I'm enough as I am, why why am I
fucking miserable? You know? So on that sense, I I

(37:30):
don't like the the the movement of you are enough.
But then I like, when I look at it on
the flip side, I'm like, well, you know you never
get there. You know you can have infinite improvement and
infinite success and it will never be enough, And so
what you just hate yourself into improvement forever? That's that

(37:53):
also seems fucked to me. So I don't know the answer.
The answer lies somewhere in the middle. I haven't figured
it out yet, but I think there's I think there's
a balance. It's it's gotta be some balance of the two,
because if you're just just accepting that you're enough and
you're miserable all the time, then you're something's clearly off.

(38:16):
But if the opposite is just hating yourself forever, then
what kind of life is that?

Speaker 4 (38:20):
You know?

Speaker 1 (38:22):
I do kind of feel like some of the most
like ambitious people in my life also have this, like, like, Okay,
my best friend she is in like every college club
dean's list every year, winning awards all the time for
some shit I didn't even know she was doing, but
then will tell me like all the time, like I

(38:44):
literally like everything I do, like I hate myself, you
know what I mean. And I'm like how And I'm like, okay, yeah,
me too, But how is this manifesting so differently like
in our two lives? Because when I'm having that like
I fucking hate myself thing, I will shut down for
a week and like consider quitting my job and just
self distruct I guess. But she will just keep picking

(39:07):
up things and has like an extensive resume And I'm like, how,
you know, do you know anyone like that? Do you
have anyone like that in your life?

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Yeah? Yeah, absolutely I don't.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
I'm like, how did you How did she get that
into the stick?

Speaker 4 (39:20):
And I didn't, you know.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
And it's the same with like those ultra running people,
like well they'll run for like one hundred miles and
be like yeah, like something super traumatic happened in my
life to where this is what I do now, And
I'm like, god damn, Like if something traumatic happened in
my life, like I'd probably be sitting here eating the
pizza still, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
I always think about those like people who don't have
arms and legs that like didn't fucking go climb a mountain,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have arms and legs, and I
still didn't climb the mountain. But Monday one day, I might.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
I don't. I actually, I'm not gonna say I don't
have answers to all these things, because I actually think
I do or I don't. No, No, I don't have answers,
but I'm I have theories and I'm working on them.
I think my current theory is, uh, well, like I
procrastinated all day on making a fucking video, and then

(40:27):
once I actually finished it, I felt good. And then
I so I think there's got to be a balance
of like, Okay, you don't procrastinate and like do the
things you want to do and make the things you're
trying to make, and then you'll feel better when you

(40:50):
make those positive choices and changes, and then from there
you actually do yeah, and then from there you know,
drink as much as you want and gamble and watch
YouTube and.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
You mean, like as a reward.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
I don't know. I don't know what I mean, I
really don't, but I'm.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
Because I'll do that. I'll do I'll do one good
thing in my day. And then I'm like, oh, I
can do whatever I want now. Like, for example, I
usually go out on Thursdays and do karaoke, and last
Thursday I didn't go, and I was like, since I
won't be spending money at karaoke, I can go eat

(41:34):
four donuts for breakfast today, Yeah, as a reward. And
then it's just like, well, that wasn't a reward. You
You might as well have just gotten done karaoke and
spent your money, you know.

Speaker 3 (41:43):
But now see how great would your day be if
you went you took a long walk and you're like,
all right, I achieved my fitness goal for the day.
I'm gonna go do karaoke. That's a great day. See.
It's a balance, It's a fucking balance. I think the
answer I think there's the I think the like the
capitalist thing of like you are never enough and you

(42:04):
must keep improving is not like there's like something that
gets somewhere between. There's something like the philosophies of like
the socialist you are enough and everything is fine all
the time, Like there's something in between those two they're
like something we need a balance of the two.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
There is I think one one other thing not to
be that guy. I've recently stopped smoking so much weed,
and like that has been. That's been like the best thing.
I think. It did make me gain like a ton
of weight, which kind of sucks. But also like I

(42:47):
remember to do things and I don't have like that
constant like oh my god, you fucking suck thing over
my head at this point, I still do sometimes. And
also fuck that whole thing where people are like, yeah,
weed is an addicting because seriously, like there was a
weird brain switch that happened to me like two years ago,

(43:09):
where like all of a sudden I would smoke the
tiniest amount of weed and like just get scared. And
it still happens, and it's happened. It started two years ago,
and to this day, I still smoke every day, but
you know, it's just like before I go to bed
or whatever, cause I guess it's sort of just like
a ritual I've built in my head. But like every
day I smoke my weed and get scared and go

(43:31):
to sleep, and it's like, man, this shit is fucking addicting,
Like I don't even know. I don't know what to say.
It's definitely not like crack or anything.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
It is. It is very hilarious. How many times I've
been like, Oh, I'm gonna smoke weed before I go
to the grocery store, and then I have a panic
the grocery store. And then the next day, dude, and
then the next day I'm like, I should fucking smoke
weed before I go to the grocery store.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Well, it sounds so nice, And it used to be,
like I'm telling you, like in high school, I was
literally like all day long, just like high as fuck,
hitting the dappin, smoking joints, hitting the bong or whatever.
And now it's like one little rip of the bong
and it's like ruined my whole day and I have
to go to sleep. I guess that's part of I've

(44:16):
heard that happening like to other people, and I guess
it's just part of Like I guess you just hit
your limit eventually. But I if you asked me when
I was seventeen, like, are you gonna be scared of
weed randomly one day, I'd be like, why would that happen?
You know, Like I don't know what happened in my brain,
but I can pinpoint the exact day it happened. And

(44:37):
it's been that way ever since, and I still haven't stopped.
I don't know. I don't know what it is, but
I have. I have significantly cut down and it's been
super helpful and on the normal side of living honestly.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Maddie, mm hmm. Is there anything else you want to
say to the people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 1 (44:59):
No, is not. I really appreciate you picking.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
Up, of course. Good luck with your life. Thank you, Uh,
you know everything I was gonna say. I was gonna
say everything will probably be fine, but that yeah, why not?

Speaker 1 (45:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (45:19):
Sure, I mean everything will be fine. Everyone, everything is
gonna everyone will die, and it will be good because
that's we'll go back. We'll go, we'll return, We'll return
to the prodigal son. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Thank you for calling, Maddy. I'll see you around the universe.

(45:39):
Lyle bye. That was a nice conversation. That was good.
I am. Yeah, a lot of those things that Maddie
was talking about. I was thinking about a lot.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
I don't know how ambitious you're supposed to be or
like the weird, like the thing of like, oh, should
I be feeling certain feelings? I don't know. There's probably
some book about all this ship that I talk about
on this show that is like, here's what you here's

(46:25):
here's what your brain should be doing at all times.
And I'll just one day I'll find it and everything
and people will call me and I'll just be like, well,
here's what it says in the book that knows everything,
because there's always a fucking book that knows everything.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Hi, what's your name, Tony the Tiger.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
Tony the Tiger. What's up, Tony the Tiger? What are
you doing?

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Nothing much, man. I just finished playing pickle ball. It's
played about an hour and a half to pick a ball,
So just kind of relaxing for the rest of the night.

Speaker 3 (46:52):
M Is there anything in particular that you called in
want to talk about Tony the Tiger?

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Yeah, man, I just Uh. I'm graduating from medical school
in about a month, so it's kind of a big
transition for me. I'm starting residency in July, so it's
a big It's a big thing for me, a big
life event.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
Uh Y, are you excited? What are you in? Residency?
For like what kind of medicine.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
So internal medicine. So that's like you know when you
think doctor, that's like the doctor like you know, like
when you go to the hospital, the one that just
sees you rounds on you every day.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
That's cool.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Get kind of like general medicine type.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
You're gonna get to look inside of a lot of ears.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Well not in the hospital so much. A lot of
hospitals don't even have that tool to look in the ears.
You just kind of got to bring your own around.
And if you don't have it and then you're not
looking in any years, wait.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
A minute, you have to buy you you're like a
teacher at an underfunded school. You have to bring your
own shit.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
I mean a lot of the hospitals, like you go
in the room and they don't even they don't even
have like the tools and stuff on the wall all.
A lot of times that's more in like a clinic.
That's more in like you go into the clinic, like
your primarary doctor to get like a check up for
you know, your struped throat or whatever.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
So you just got like a steph of scope in
your pocket with your like phone and keys and vape
and ship and you bring it into the hospital.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
I try to stay away from the vape. I've had
a couple of classmates that pulled out their vape in
the hospital, Like we're walking through the er and they
just start vaping. I'm like, dude, we're gonna get kicked
out of here, like stop stop sucking vaping, Like just
walking by the patient room and they just put It's
just like automatic because like the nicotine addiction, they think,
do it without thinking about it.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
You know, how was medical school? It sounds like it
was easy.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Oh, it was the easiest four years of my life
for sure. No, it was. It was super hard man.
I would say the first year, what was the hardest.
I think you've mentioned that you have friends who were
in med school or something, but.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Yeah, I do. I have one of my best friends
is is about to start as residency.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Okay, so you know, you know a little bit about it.
But for the listeners or whatever, it's like first year
is when you have like all the classes at once.
So you got like anatomy, like your general class where
you learn how to like treat patients and be a doctor.
And then I'm at a doo school, so I'll theopathic medicine,
so you have to do like spinal manipulation stuff. So

(49:31):
that's another class. You're doing all that at once, and
it's just freaking brutal. Like people like either like turn
to like drugs that first semester or they like like
try to like you know, fuck the classmates. Like there's
a lot of like relationships that popped up. Like the
first semester that was this is everyone was like really stressed,
you know, and trying to.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Like doing doing drugs and trying to fuck your classmates
sounds pretty standard.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
No, oh, that's yeah, that's pretty standards. That's pretty standard stuff.

Speaker 3 (50:01):
So that was across across all disciplines.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Oh yeah, even if you're like, uh, you know, an
accountant school, you're also trying to fuck your classmates. So
it's it's across all disciplines. But that's the hardest semester.
And then it's like once you figure out how to study,
you just kind of coast from there and you're just
kind of chilling trying to get to third year. When
you're actually third years, like when you do your clinicals
and you actually like get to go out and you

(50:27):
have to like you know, sit in your apartment for
twelve hours a day by yourself, like eating grub hub
every day. You're actually out in the hospital like doing things.
That was my like first year, it was just like
ordering grub Hub and studying. So I got like the
freshman of fifteen.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
Yeah, are you excited to be a doctor? That's so real.
That's such a real job. It's an interesting it's an
interesting thing because like like the previous caller that we talked.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
To, I didn't hear that, but yeah, she.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Was kind of like, oh, like what am I going
to be doing when I'm fifty? And I also have
that thing, and I have some friends who I'm also like,
what the hell are we going to be doing when
we're like old and shit? And but what you're doing
is interesting because you kind of know you're how old
are you?

Speaker 2 (51:27):
Thirties and my early thirties.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
Early thirties, see, but you kind of know what you're
going to be doing for the entire rest of your life.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
Yeah, you generally know, Like each day is different. That's why,
like I like medicine because you're not you're not doing
the same necessarily the same thing over and over because
you're seeing different patients. Every day. So but you generally
know what you're going to be doing, and you have
like pretty good job security, i'd say, because you actually
like have like a thought after skill. But you know,
it's kind of like I think, like coding, you know,

(51:57):
is another one where you have like job security because
you have like a sought after school and stuff like that.
So there's a lot of jobs where it's like, you know,
you know what you're going to be doing, Like you said,
until until you're like fifty, you don't have like any
you know, there's no blackness, you know, kind of in
front of you for what your career is going to be.
Like do you like that? I do like that. I

(52:19):
think it's it just gives you, like it takes one
more stress out of life. Like you know, there's a
lot of people who have jobs where like they're not sure.
I worked at a job where I was like not
sure if I was going to get laid off, not
necessarily fired, but like laid off. And I think a
lot of people have that in their careers and it
could be any type of job. You know, even doctors
can get laid off, but like there's less of a
chance of that, especially if you're at like a hospital

(52:42):
that's kind of more rural. So I do like that,
but yeah, I just you know, and I don't really
I think like it's not the only way to go
and in your life, you know, like there's tons of
different career pathways you can go where you have job
security and doesn't require like an extra seven years just

(53:02):
to school, you know. So it's like I just did
it because I couldn't see myself doing anything else.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
You know, that's a great reasons like I do it.
Can AI replace the doctors or are you guys good.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Dude?

Speaker 2 (53:17):
I was literally thinking about that today because I was
I saw a meme or not a meme, but like
a post about the Medtronic. The company has like a
new robot where they're they're able to do like the
surgery general surgeries like appendectomies and stuff like where you
take your appendix out with's like the same error rate
as like a regular surgeon. But the robots aren't actually robots.

(53:41):
They're being controlled by the surgeon like remotely, so there's
no there's no autonomous robots at this point even remotely
doing surgery. So it's gonna be a long time. The
first thing to go. I think it's gonna be like
radiology because you're like looking at X rays and there's
like pattern recognition software, you know. And then same thing
for like pathology, where you're just like looking at microscope slides.

(54:05):
You're just looking for patterns. So I think that's another
thing that could be the next one for AI, but
just for like a regular doctor where you're just like
you need empathy, you need to talk to the patient,
talk to the family, make decisions on the fly. That's
I think that's gonna be a little harder.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
That makes sense there, Yeah, yeah, it does, like uh,
you know, you want I mean, yeah, part of your
job is like talking to people and doing stuff that
I guess a robot can't do.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Yeah. Yeah, And maybe at some point we'll have like
freaking matrix robots that just like take over and they're
the doctors. But I don't know if they'll be evil,
Maybe they won't want to treat humans, so I don't
I don't know about that, but maybe at one point
we'll have that. I don't know. It's gonna be a
long time, probably. I don't think in our lifetime. Low.
I think it's gonna be way past when we're or alive,

(54:58):
that that's gonna be fully like honest robots doing surgery,
that's my opinion.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
But well that are you excited for that? I mean,
like do you feel like they'll be better?

Speaker 2 (55:10):
I really think like the biggest thing that patients like
say to me that they like about me is that
I'm like generally pretty personal. They're like that. They're like
the I'm like the nicest person to come in the
room all day and just talk to them. And you know,
human touch is another thing. So like I don't know
if you ever had a doctor that just went in
and like didn't even touch you, like do a physical exam,
and you're like, what the fuck's that? Like did he
even do anything? Or even do anything? So it's like

(55:33):
that's a big part of being a doctor is like
the human compassion, human touch aspect. So I mean you
want like a cold, like silvery robot hand doing a
physical exam on you, you know, or I guess they
could they could do like a warming thing of the
hand with the robots, but I don't know, I think
that the human side is like a big thing. I thought,
I'm not really excited for that to be a thing.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
It'll be interesting when like you have kids who grew
up with robots.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
You know, Well, it'd be like Alledium, like that movie
with Matt Damon where this guy Elysium where the rich
people just like go get into a pod with robots
and they just are like automatically healed. But the poor
people don't have access to that. It could be like

(56:25):
that something.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
I think. I think, I think I got to stop
talking about AI so much.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
Yeah, man, but yeah, just yeah, I'm excited to do
it for residency. I'm excited to be a doctor. I
don't have to walk into a room and say I'm
this I'm student doctor Tony and Tiger, and I can
just be like, I'm doctor Tony the Tuger. I can
just actually be more confident. You know what, I.

Speaker 3 (56:46):
Forgot that you started this call by saying that you
were Tony the Tiger.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
Well, dude, Tony Tiger's a He's a forgotten mascot.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
So I wonder I see when Honestly, when you said that,
I thought you were going to bed of a dumb
ass troll. But you're actually like a smart guy.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
I was just trying to come up with the name. Dude,
I just popped into my head and I was just
coming up with a stupid team. I don't want to
troll you, dude, y'll be listening to you. You were
one of the podcasts that getting me through med school.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
Do.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
I started listening to you my first semester in med
school and like what, I'm just like vibing out chilling
after test you. I just listened for like four hours, yeah,
and just like chill. So I think you you can,
I can. I shout out a couple other my podcasts
that got me through the tough time. Go ahead, bad friends,
Bobby Lee, my boy Andrew Sentino. I know Bobby Lee

(57:37):
was on your your podcast, and then uh ceo Von
this past weekend. He's he's a cool, cool dude. So
those ones have been great, dude. And then I got
into doctor Drew after seeing uh seeing him on your
podcast also.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
Yeah yeah, so yeah, there's.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Just like yat to have someone anyone's thinking about doing
some sort of horror graduate agree now as med school
or anything, you got to have like some sort of outlet,
you know, the whether it's like chilling listening podcast. I
just would go for a three four out walk and
just listen to therapy. Get go just kind of chill
and get out, like you said, you always say get outside,
like that's anyone can just go outside, just walk outside.

Speaker 4 (58:18):
You know.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
I kind of like bringing this back to the previous
conversation that I just had, and I know you weren't
there for it, but it was a lot about like
ambition versus not and talking to you is interesting because
the world does require the continued existence of the human

(58:42):
you know what's fucking oh man, okay, hold, I'm about
to fuck my mind. The continued existence of the human
race is kind of dependent upon people having ambition, because
we need people like you to be ambitious enough to
go become doctors. So if everyone decided that watching TV

(59:05):
and eating sandwiches was enough, we'd be fucked. But also,
but also also on top of that, I.

Speaker 5 (59:14):
Kind of have a little part of me that goes,
you know what, if the human race died out because
we all got lazy and decided that eating sandwiches was enough,
and then we all died, maybe it kind of really
was enough and we could all just die.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
That's insane. I'm insane. I gotta stop talking like this.
I really I don't know what the fuck happened to me.
You've been listening to me, What's what is this? Okay?
You've been listening to me go crazy for a month.
What does that sound like to you? Am I insane?

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Dude? I love it. I know you're just because you've
been driving a lot and you've been like probably really tired,
and just like had the opportunity to be like thinking
all the time because you're I mean, I'm assuming like
you're traveling alone a lot of times, so you just
when you have the time to think by yourself, sometimes
you just go into spirals. I think everybody does that,
Like I've been doing that the third year of med
school because I don't talk anyone. I just go to

(01:00:07):
the hospital and come home and I just think about shit.
So it's like, it's not You're not going crazy, dude,
You're just thinking a lot, and you're probably taking yourself
into like just a bunch of spiraling dark holes. It
doesn't sound you're definitely different than you were, but you're
I still love listening to you. Like you're just changing
with you know, with your experiences and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
It's scary, though, I don't want to be different than
how I know. I I've thought myself into. I've kind
of it feels almost as though I've irreversibly thought myself
into Like today I was just I was on I
was procrastinating, and I was like asking chat gybt if

(01:00:47):
science could verifiably deny that we are living in a
simulation and shit like that, And I was really I
really like like like people say shit like like like
people get high and say like, oh, could we be
living in a simulation? But like I felt that, and
I really felt I really was left for a for
a while still, I'm like, oh, fuck, are we living
in a simulation?

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
But that's how you my quick thought on that. It's
like there's a dud that used to listen to you
on Serious XM and he would just be like, well,
who the fuck here is if you're living in you know, simulation,
you still have you're still living. Just enjoy like the experience,
like everyone dies, like, just enjoy it while you're here.
And there's probably no way that you're ever gonna know
if you're living in a simulation, So just keep going.

(01:01:28):
Just have fun, go out with friends, you know, do
fun things, travel like you do, talk to people, and
just enjoy it, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Yeah, all these things I'm thinking about. All these things
I'm thinking about, you're not supposed to be thinking about
them for too long.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Yeah, you might. You might have gotten a little bit
too deep into this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
I think that's why I got a little bit too deep.
Outside of the matrix, there's no there's no bottom, there's
no and you know, getting you know, reading like I
don't read books. I I don't read books. I adhd
scramble around Wikipedia, and I was doing that today. I

(01:02:09):
was ADHD scrambling around Wikipedia, like looking at like the
Wikipedia page of consciousness and of like like ship like
that and like looking at like like skimming through the
Wikipedia pages of like philosophers is doing that today and
like reading about like theories of consciousness. And it felt

(01:02:31):
important to like dive into a little bit. But you don't,
you'll you'll it'll it will kind of if you go
too deep into that, it'll kind of ruin your life.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Like like athletes or something or like like I love
Jamie Soox. I just Wikipedia Jamie Fox over and over. Yeah,
I don't know. I just Wikia like fun things a
Wikipedia racist.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Yeah, I used to do that on stream. But if
you go too deep into like existentialist thoughts and theory
and stuff. It just will ruin. It ruined my life
for a little bit. I'm trying to get out of it,
and I actually think I will. I think the key
to getting out of it is you got you just
gotta do. You just gotta be in your life. You
gotta have responsibilities, you gotta. I mean, you're a great

(01:03:18):
example of a real person because you have so many
like being in residency. I mean, you don't have time
to think about fucking like what happens after we die,
because you're so in life.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
It's frozen meals over and in my life.

Speaker 3 (01:03:35):
That's the key. You gotta be in your life in
some way, shape or form, whether it's being with people
or working or what. You gotta be in your life
because if you if.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
You gotta go do something real, like you gotta do
something real, solid, objectively real that can get like y'all
just sit in your room. I know if people I've
been that way before, while I've been depressed, I just
want to sit in my room. But you just got
to force yourself to go out and do things, you know,
which is easier said and done.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
But I've had too little responsibility because I was touring
and traveling for a while, and now that I'm now,
I'm not and I think I've had too little responsive.
My responsibility has become too little. Now that I'm I thought,
I literally thought about that. I thought about that. I'm like,
should I just have a But that's a that's a

(01:04:20):
bad reason to have a kid.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
No, I know, don't have kids. Maybe get like a
goldfish or something.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
I do you have once you yeah, if you have
too little responsibility, you start thinking and I'm actually I
mean this, I'm I am glad that I don't think
this will last forever. I'm optimistic that I'll I'll heal myself.
But I'm glad I had this little era in my
life because I think it's an honor as a human
being to get to this point where you're so did

(01:04:53):
like in the like conscious of these crazy kind of
terrifying existential things, like because I do believe I'll be
able to like see it and then go back to
like let me stop at a stop sign and like
an Instagram put it just like whatever the bullshit of life.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
And everybody goes through it. Dude, there's like it's just
kind of stupid reference but there's that episode of Knock
Them Now from the Middle where like Malcolm like goes
into like the existential crisis and like doesn't believe that
anything's real and just like super depressed, and like his
mom's like she's like, don't worry about respent like two
days in the dryer, just like sitting in the dryer,

(01:05:32):
like thinking about life. That's like everyone like experiences that
kind of thing where they're just like, what is life?
What the fuck is going on? Some people experienced it
later than others, you know, I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
I actually I don't know if everyone experiences that. I
think it's no, Like do you think no some people
are too, I don't think. I I genuinely I don't
think every single person experiences that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Okay again, Yeah, yeah, it's hard to talking absolute, so
probably you're probably correct.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
I mean, like, okay again again alluding to the previous
conversation I just had. We were talking about like people
who are like eighty years old and like arguing about
coupons with people or whatever. You know, I'm talking about
like angry eighty year old.

Speaker 4 (01:06:12):
Ye.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
I don't. I don't. I think if you're I think
if you're eighty years old and you are arguing with
a retail worker, you've probably never had an existential crisis
in your entire life. I would gander that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
That's probably true if you're like pinching pennies like that,
Like what are those people called that are the super
coupons or whatever that are like they try to they
spend hours trying to like save money on shit with coupons.
Those people probably never.

Speaker 3 (01:06:41):
Yeah, well not necessarily like people who not necessarily like
penny pinchers, but just people who like they like are like,
you know, concerned with like complete other. But if you're
eighty years old and you were just concerned about like
complete other bullshit that has fucking like nothing to do
with you, you've probably ever had an existential crisis, which

(01:07:03):
is But so I guess I think.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
What's another example of that though, like something that had
nothing to do with you that is bullshit? What's what's
one other?

Speaker 3 (01:07:14):
Let me think, like sorry to challenge you, No, no, no, no,
this is it's okay. I'm trying. I'm trying to think
of like concrete examples.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
I'm trying to think of one too, but I don't know,
like what you're I don't know, like I don't know,
like what you're like what someone else is wearing, maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
Like yeah, sure sure something like that, you know, or
I don't know, if you're like crazy what you know
what you know what I mean though, like people definitely
people who've never had accidential crisis. So I think by
that point, like if it is kind of it is
weirdly an honor to have like a terrifying existential crisis.

(01:08:01):
I think it's something to push through and eventually be like, Okay,
I'm gonna go back into the matrix and be learn
learn how to accept that you'll never have answers to
these terrifying questions and like that's fine and okay, and
like just eat your sandwich and do your job and

(01:08:23):
be okay, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Just eat your sandwich and just kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:08:32):
Eat your blooney sandwich and look at you know, watch
a YouTube video and shut up. You know, it's fine,
shut the fuck up, right, you know, but it's an
honor that you ever got, and you I don't think
you can ever fully silence whatever screaming part of your
brain is is in touch with that, but it's you know,

(01:08:54):
it's good to have had that at some point in
your level before you you know, it's good to have.
That's the is are Really, there's a higher being things
that I sound kind of like a douche, but I
I you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
Know, I don't know anyway, think you're someone's but.

Speaker 3 (01:09:11):
I'm sorry you cut out just now.

Speaker 2 (01:09:13):
Nobody thinks that you're a douche.

Speaker 3 (01:09:18):
What's your name again?

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
Okay, Well, Tony the Tiger, your phone sucks and I
can't I can't understand, but it's okay. I was going
to end the phone call soon. Anyway. I like you,
Tony the Tiger. You're You're a cool guy. I'm I'm
I'm happy to live on the same planet as you.
Uh right now, this is cool.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
Person.

Speaker 3 (01:09:45):
Yeah, I'm gonna try to win back. Where do you live? Like,
you don't have to give me your address?

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
No, where that you would ever come. It's a it's
a big college campus, but in a state that you'd
probably never come to.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
Well, try me what state?

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
Arkansas?

Speaker 3 (01:09:59):
Uh? Where? What's the biggest city in Arkansas? Lafayette?

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
To someone the other day, Now you talk to someone
the other day who's from that town?

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
What town? Little Rock?

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
Like? No, what's the biggest college University of Arkansas. That's
the big college here.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
Which city is that?

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
Fayetteville?

Speaker 3 (01:10:26):
Fayetteville, Okay? Is there is that where you live?

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Yeah, I'm in this in this area?

Speaker 3 (01:10:34):
Is it? What's it like?

Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
Dude? It's fucking awesome. There's tons of comedy clubs here.
There's bars, and there's big concert venues and stuff. Bobby
Lee came here to do a show. We had a
bunch of comedians. Nate Bargetti came here.

Speaker 3 (01:10:51):
I would do a show in Fayetville, Arkansas. Well, I
don't know if anyone would, if people would come, If
I get like one hundred people, that could be fun.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
I mean it's forty thousand people of this campus, college campus,
So all.

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
Right, maybe what's the comedy club there?

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
There's a bunch. There's JJ's Live. But then there's the
Walmart Empathy here, which is like the big outdoor venue
where Bobby Lee played.

Speaker 3 (01:11:16):
I don't know if I draw to play the Walmart
amphitheater man.

Speaker 2 (01:11:21):
Yeah, there's there's a JJ's Live is probably where you go.
There's a bunch of them. There's these big, big clubs
where bands come and comedy people come.

Speaker 3 (01:11:31):
I'll try if you work at JJ's Live hit me
up on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
All right, man, Well that's talking to you, dude.

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
Let's talking to you too, Tonny. Is there anything else
you want to say to the people of the computer
before we go?

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
Just keep listening to therapy that go as long as
he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (01:11:49):
God fucking bless you, Tony. Keep keep keep being I'm glad.
I'm glad that you didn't. I'm glad you did something
with your life. I'm very happy about that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
It's good that you're a doctor and you as well, sir,
have get care man.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
Bye bye. Hello, Hey, Hey, what's your name? My name
is Mike, Mike. What's up, Mike? How you doing?

Speaker 4 (01:12:09):
Oh no, I'm gonna at the gym at the moment,
So I'm gonna taking a break right now.

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
You're at the gym. What are we what are we
working on? Is it a push day? A pull day?

Speaker 4 (01:12:19):
It's leg day?

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
Leg Day? Respect for not skipping leg day. I'm a
big leg day skipper.

Speaker 4 (01:12:28):
Oh no, yeah, you should not skip leg day at all.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
Just real quick. I'm not on like a headset or
anything like that, right.

Speaker 4 (01:12:38):
No, I'm trying to find the quietest part in this gym,
and it's just like I think I'm gonna go there.

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, Okay? How are you? How are
your legs? How are your calves?

Speaker 4 (01:12:50):
Oh? I'm dying right now. I'm legit dying.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
Why are you legit dying?

Speaker 4 (01:12:57):
It kind of went a little hard on my lot today. Yeah,
I did five forty on the squad.

Speaker 3 (01:13:06):
You did five five? I'm sorry you say five forty? Yeah,
five hundred forty pounds? Yeah, So like, hold on, do
you squat? Hold on? You squat five hundred and forty pounds?

Speaker 4 (01:13:21):
Yes, And like to give you like a picture of
like what my body size is. I'm five eight and
I'm less than one or forty five pounds at the moment.

Speaker 3 (01:13:32):
Bro, there's no way you squat five hundred and forty pounds.
That's like how many of you?

Speaker 4 (01:13:40):
About three? I think I'm not good at maths?

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
Is that even physical? Is that? Is that physically possible?

Speaker 4 (01:13:50):
It is? It is physically possible as long as you
conditionally train your your muscle to do it, and then
you always up your your level every time you you, uh,
you work out that muscle, then you'll get stronger.

Speaker 3 (01:14:06):
Do you What do your calves look like? Are you ripped?

Speaker 4 (01:14:10):
I'm getting ripped. Yeah, yeah, but my legs look way
better than my upper half body right now, so like
I'm getting my my ass back again at the moment.

Speaker 3 (01:14:20):
Did There's no fucking way you you're lying to me.
You do not squat five hundred and forty pounds.

Speaker 4 (01:14:26):
I'll see you a video later if you want.

Speaker 3 (01:14:29):
You know what, Yeah, actually, dude, send me a video
of you squatting five hundred and forty pounds. Can you
do it right now? Actually?

Speaker 4 (01:14:37):
Yeah? Okay, do you want me to go back to
the leg part of it? I'll do it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:43):
What do you mean the leg part of it?

Speaker 4 (01:14:45):
No, because I'm at the core part of the gym
right now, so I have to walk to the.

Speaker 3 (01:14:49):
Oh okay, Oh I thought you had a pre existing
video of this.

Speaker 4 (01:14:53):
No, no, no, not yet, but I'll film one just
for you.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
You squatted five hundred and forty pounds and you didn't
even video it to show people.

Speaker 4 (01:15:02):
No, I'm not the show off kind of guy, though,
I don't. I'm not like literally like three quarters of
people here in the gym, or are they like take
selfies in the gym, or like you know, if you
kidnap that if.

Speaker 3 (01:15:17):
You can squat five hundred and forty pounds. You get
to take a video of it and brag about it.
You that you get to do that, you earned the
ability to do that. Is this a one rep? Is this?
Is this a one rep max? Or are you doing
multiple ramps?

Speaker 4 (01:15:31):
I do? I do? Uh? Uh? Ten reps? Uh ten
ten rap, ten raps.

Speaker 3 (01:15:40):
Three sets, ten reps, three sets of five hundred and
forty pounds. You're fucking lying to me.

Speaker 4 (01:15:47):
No, I'm not. I promise. I think you promise.

Speaker 3 (01:15:52):
What do you what do you bent?

Speaker 5 (01:15:55):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (01:15:56):
I'm venturing at two fifty at the moment.

Speaker 3 (01:15:59):
Two fifty? Yeah, dude, what do you look like?

Speaker 4 (01:16:04):
I'm okay?

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (01:16:07):
Imagine Bruce Lee with long hair.

Speaker 3 (01:16:10):
You look like Bruce Lee with long hair.

Speaker 4 (01:16:13):
With really long hair.

Speaker 2 (01:16:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:16:16):
Are you skary?

Speaker 1 (01:16:16):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:16:16):
Are you skinny?

Speaker 4 (01:16:18):
Yeah? I'm slim fit. Yeah, I'm skinny.

Speaker 3 (01:16:22):
And how much did you say you weigh?

Speaker 4 (01:16:24):
I'm less than one hundred and forty five pounds at
the moment.

Speaker 3 (01:16:27):
Shut the shut up, Shut the fuck up. You are less.
Shut up, dude, you are lying to me. Why you
like you learn less? You're less than one hundred and
forty five pounds right now.

Speaker 4 (01:16:36):
I'm at five eight two five eight forty five pounds.

Speaker 3 (01:16:40):
Shut the fuck up. You do not bench two hundred
and fifty pounds and squat five hundred pounds.

Speaker 4 (01:16:46):
I'll tak a video so you can be shocked for yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:16:50):
That's not even four. Like what, dude, You're fucking completely
lying to me right now.

Speaker 4 (01:16:57):
I'm not. I'm not lying to you, Lyle.

Speaker 3 (01:17:01):
Not. How is that even physically possible?

Speaker 4 (01:17:05):
You just train? I've been training like since like last fall,
I've been I've been uh sticking to my gym regiment
since last fall, and I've gotten stronger since you've just
seen me. Like last fall I was, I was like
at one to fifty eight, and I somehow managed to

(01:17:26):
lose weight during my journey of like uh working out
like every time.

Speaker 3 (01:17:36):
Dude. Okay, yeah, I you know what. I don't even
I was going to react to it on the podcast,
But send me, send me these videos of you doing me.
I just for my own personal I want to see
you one hundred five eight one hundred and forty five
pounds man squatting five hundred and forty pounds and benching

(01:17:56):
two hundred fifty pounds looks like Cause I think, what
do I bench, I bench like, let me check, I forget.
There's no way. Do you take steroids?

Speaker 4 (01:18:09):
No? I don't. The most I do is uh is
actually that energy drink that you drink Celsius?

Speaker 3 (01:18:15):
Oh celsius.

Speaker 4 (01:18:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:18:17):
So now all right, how many how many celsiuses are
you on? When you bench one hundred and whatever? Fucking put?
When you bench one?

Speaker 4 (01:18:25):
I just do one?

Speaker 3 (01:18:27):
What do I bench? I'll bench like my max. I
don't really like do the bench. I do like dumbbells.
So my max with the dumbbells is like I'll do
like two sixty pound dumbbells. That's like what one hundred
and twenty pounds?

Speaker 4 (01:18:40):
Yeah, oh that's good. So do you do like max
rap until you you equally can't do it and then
you do another set and so you can't do.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
It again something like that. It depends if I'm like
really into it, I'll like track all this shit. But
lately it's just going to the gym has becomeing like
more of a casual thing.

Speaker 4 (01:18:58):
I was.

Speaker 3 (01:18:58):
I was really I it was really good at like
doing it like without fail three times a week, and
then I got and then I and then I had
an existential crisis and I wondered what the point was.
But now I'm back sort of, not really. I don't
know why I.

Speaker 4 (01:19:11):
Said, hey, hey Low, uh, just so you know that
a lot of people care about you, so like we
look out for you.

Speaker 3 (01:19:20):
Well, thank thank you man, thank you. I'm trying to
look out for you. You're going to kill yourself if you
keep doing this.

Speaker 4 (01:19:26):
No, no, I'm not going to kill myself. I know
my limit. So it's like if my body notes went
to quit, I'll quit. I'm not gonna like push myself
until like I pop at mc l or at L
or something like that. Yeah, I don't want to do that.

Speaker 3 (01:19:40):
Man. Yeah, what's your name again, Mike, Mike.

Speaker 4 (01:19:50):
Low. We've actually met, and we've actually met in the
Salt Lake Show before your last salt show. Yes, I
brought my girlfriend with me and she was she was
the girl that mentioned about the chocolate covered cinnamon gummy bear.
I don't know if you remember that, but yeah, we
shook your hand with a pictures and you made our night.

Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh that's really nice. That's
really nice. And she mentioned the chocolate covered.

Speaker 4 (01:20:17):
Gummy gummy bear.

Speaker 3 (01:20:19):
You're not you're not eating that stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:20:22):
No, No, I'm in a strict diet right now.

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
What do you eat?

Speaker 4 (01:20:27):
Uh? So, I've been really boring with my with my
meal meals lately. I've been just doing, like I alternate
between like beef and chicken every other day with rice
and then that's it.

Speaker 3 (01:20:40):
How long you've been doing that since last fall and
you're and you have no desire to eat something like
a chocolate covered cinnamon gummy bear. Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:20:50):
I do it at least like on the weekend sparingly,
but most of the time. Yeah, I tried. I tried
try to fight it. Remember like that, have you seen
the movie, uh, Dodgeball, where like Ben Stiller almost got
that because like he was trying to pry his urge
to like eat the drumpstick.

Speaker 3 (01:21:10):
Yeah, I'm like that.

Speaker 4 (01:21:11):
I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm like at that moment right now,
but I'm yeah, my concentration is pretty good right now.

Speaker 3 (01:21:20):
Oh, help me solve this mystery. Okay, help me solve
this mystery. I go to the Blink Fitness, and at
the Blink Fitness they have for sale like these sour
rainbow belts. Yeah, and I thought first I was looking
at them, and I was like, are these like this

(01:21:41):
is like protein candy, and it's not. It's just regular
ass sour belts. Is there any reason whatsoever from a
fitness perspective why you would want to eat that before
working out?

Speaker 4 (01:21:57):
So I would not recommend you eating though us. I
just do like the energy bars, any energy bars that's
like a little over like twenty grams of protein, and
then I would I would just eat that before the thing, yeah,
because like yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:22:14):
The the question is is is is there a reason
why they sell that other than for people who have
given up on their way out of there?

Speaker 4 (01:22:26):
It's pure marketing. I think it's just like, oh look,
oh you're at a gym. Oh look what else we're
selling here? Because like they're selling like other like uh
like weird stuff that you shouldn't be eating too. Yeah,
because just like the gym that you just stated, Yeah,
I have a membership at that particular gym too, and

(01:22:48):
yeah they do that ship too.

Speaker 3 (01:22:49):
What's your take on bear Bell's protein bars.

Speaker 4 (01:22:53):
I actually love it. I highly recommend it.

Speaker 3 (01:22:56):
Yeah, they're awesome there, like, but here's my problem. I
eat I think I Yeah, I eat one for breakfast
every morning. I eat a Barebells protein bar that's that's good.
That's good. That's good.

Speaker 4 (01:23:07):
Yes, yes, it's good.

Speaker 3 (01:23:08):
But because I'm because because I'm eating it, and I'm like,
this tastes like a candy bar. I'm I think I've
convinced myself that eating a candy bar for breakfast every
morning is somehow not unhealthy.

Speaker 4 (01:23:20):
Like there's got to be a cat no, no, uh,
it's no. U. Just like if you just stick to
like what you're doing right now, or you intermittently go
to the gym when you feel like it, and then
you're still eating that in the morning, Yeah, I think
you'll still be fine. But like from like the sound
of like your previous episodes, you're just physically active every day.
I think you'll Yeah, you'll be fine.

Speaker 3 (01:23:44):
I don't know why I'm listening to you. You're lying
to me about fucking benching.

Speaker 2 (01:23:48):
You're lying.

Speaker 4 (01:23:49):
I'm not You're gonna get You're gonna get your video tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:23:55):
What's your name again, Mike? Mike? I like you, my
You're cool.

Speaker 4 (01:24:00):
Yeah, you're cool. Guys.

Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
Everyone I talked to on the podcast today was was
I enjoyed talking to?

Speaker 4 (01:24:09):
Yeah? Yeah, I agree, especially that that lady that you
talked in the first half of this episode. Yeah, I
sortally enjoyed that part of the episode.

Speaker 3 (01:24:17):
Yeah, she was cool. What else? What else? We got it?
Let's we can keep going for however long we want.
There's no thing, there's no yeah, go ahead, go ahead?

Speaker 4 (01:24:32):
Okay, So, uh what else? Oh and then there's another
thing I want to talk about? Okay? Yeah, so, uh
so my act still pays for my uh my subscription
on like premium channels like Max and Paramount, And I

(01:24:52):
still don't have the heart to like tell her that
I'm still using those accounts that she paid for.

Speaker 3 (01:25:01):
I'm gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna label that as
a victimless crime.

Speaker 4 (01:25:05):
Oh really, well I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:09):
Well, look, dude, I mean it's not it doesn't take away.
It's not like she it's not like she. Are you
at like the max amount of accounts that can be
added to the thing?

Speaker 4 (01:25:21):
Uh yes?

Speaker 3 (01:25:23):
Oh really yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:25:24):
Like yeah, like my name is still on the account
like for this said use their name for all like
the Prime Video, the Paramount plus match Netflix.

Speaker 3 (01:25:35):
Yeah, damn, her new her new guy is gonna be
like who the fuck is.

Speaker 4 (01:25:39):
Matt right exactly?

Speaker 3 (01:25:42):
What's your what's your icon on it? Uh?

Speaker 4 (01:25:46):
An alien like for one of them, and then like
I have the main guy from the Last of Us
from like Max, and like I have a random puppy
for my paramount.

Speaker 3 (01:25:59):
I'm gonna, I think gets I think. You know what, Look,
here's the thing. If you want to be Jesus Christ,
right and some some people, uh, if you want to
be the like like Ned Flanders, like I commit. You know,
if you want to be a man of like complete, utter, unflinching,
one hundred percent nobility, then yeah, then you could take

(01:26:23):
yourself off of the HBO Max subscription. But yeah, you know,
I I don't know if you're got nobody gets to
one hundred percent. If you're if you were gutting for
one hundred percent no noble Jesus Christ, run of life,
then you would take you would take it off. But
nobody gets nobody does a hundred.

Speaker 4 (01:26:43):
So yeah, yeah, no, it's it's it's kind of yeah,
because like every now and then, like uh, I would
like switch user names on these asset apps, and I
would and I would notice like someone's been like watching
like different stuff and I on my part of the
channel too. I was like that's weird. I was like,
I haven't seen h Gilmore girls in a long time.

(01:27:07):
I was like, I've never seen that shawe.

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
I was like, what the heck?

Speaker 4 (01:27:10):
I was like, why are they watching it on my account?

Speaker 1 (01:27:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:27:15):
And then the weird part is like we split up
like almost two and a half years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:27:22):
Oh oh oh it's been two and a half years. Yeah,
well yeah, let her let her kick you off?

Speaker 2 (01:27:30):
Oh yeah, who who?

Speaker 3 (01:27:33):
Who broke it off? She did?

Speaker 1 (01:27:38):
She did?

Speaker 3 (01:27:38):
Is that part of what inspired you to train to
uh squat four of you?

Speaker 4 (01:27:48):
Actually? Yeah, I just yeah, I was like not in
a good shape when we broke up, and then now
I'm in a better shape, Like I feel I like
this version of me versus the version of me two
and a half years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:28:08):
Wait, so was that was that? This is not the
same woman that I met in Salt Lake City?

Speaker 4 (01:28:13):
No, No, that was my new girlfriend?

Speaker 3 (01:28:15):
Okay, okay, well yeah your ex girlfriend? Fucking she definitely
she definitely sold low on that shack.

Speaker 4 (01:28:26):
Oh definitely. Yeah. Yeah. And then yeah she's still Yeah,
she's still working a pretty bad job. So I'm kind
of happy that I'm in a better place now than
she is now.

Speaker 3 (01:28:39):
I don't believe you at all. I don't believe for
a second. Then you know I don't, and you know
what the thing is. I guess, Yeah, next, I guess
on the next podcast. I'll have to mention at some
point whether or not because I'm expecting you to send
me these videos.

Speaker 4 (01:28:56):
Yeah, you're getting one tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:28:59):
Okay, all right, I mean I don't I yeah, okay,
I'll try to remember to check the phone line.

Speaker 4 (01:29:08):
Yeah, I'll send it to your Instagram page.

Speaker 3 (01:29:10):
Okay, yeah, do that, I check that more.

Speaker 4 (01:29:12):
Okay, Yeah, I'll do that, all right, Matt.

Speaker 3 (01:29:20):
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 4 (01:29:24):
Uh, pigeons aren't real.

Speaker 3 (01:29:27):
You're telling me I can eat a bare Bells protein
bar and drink of Celsius every day for the rest
of my life and it's not unhealthy.

Speaker 4 (01:29:35):
Yes, that's track.

Speaker 3 (01:29:39):
Please let me look you go ahead, go ahead, you look.

Speaker 4 (01:29:43):
You look better now than you did when I first
started watching you. So well, you're doing something good in
your life.

Speaker 3 (01:29:50):
Well hold on, Well, I I lost weight and I'm
continuing to lose well, I'm I'm I fell off a
lot of my habits, but I did lose weight. But
even though I lost weight, I don't know if that's
I don't know if losing weight is the same as
being healthy because you can eat only twinkies for a

(01:30:11):
month and you will lose weight.

Speaker 4 (01:30:15):
Yeah, no, there's there's so So the thing with weight
loss is just like it's literally what you do on
top of it. It's what's very beneficial for you. Like
even if you don't think you you don't feel like
you're progressing in your in your physical house right now,

(01:30:37):
but like if everyone can notice that you like physically
changed and you're doing something good about your your physical
workout right now.

Speaker 3 (01:30:48):
I'm gonna I'm gonna only eat cosmic brownies for a month.
Those are so you know how many fuck guess many
fucking calories is in a cosmic brownie?

Speaker 1 (01:30:55):
Dude?

Speaker 4 (01:30:56):
Uh isn't it like uh like fifteen hundred?

Speaker 3 (01:31:00):
It's like five fifteen hundred. That's crazy? Is what is
up with you and your numbers? You have aut landish?

Speaker 4 (01:31:06):
No, no, no, I just my my brain is full
of like useless sacks. So it's just like it's yeah, yeah,
I'm crazy like that with numbers.

Speaker 3 (01:31:17):
Five hundred and ten, Dude. Five isn't that fucking bullshit?
Five hundred and ten calories for a for for for
you know, ten seconds of joy?

Speaker 4 (01:31:30):
Man, you eat it that quick? That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:31:34):
I've never tied myself. But all right, I'll tell you what.
You send me a picture of you doing a five
hundred and forty pounds squat in a two hundred and
fifty pound bench, and I'll send you a video of
me eating a five hundred and ten calorie cosmic brownie. Deal, Matt,
is there anything else you want to say to the
people the computer before we go?

Speaker 4 (01:31:56):
Be kind? H justick care of yourself and I'm glad
you're doing better now.

Speaker 3 (01:32:05):
Thank you, man, Good luck, God bless you your beautiful soul.
I'm around this. I'll see you around the universe. God,
good there's I'm you. Hold on, I'm gonna keep you. Okay.
First of all, First of all, first of all, I
didn't mean. First of all, whenever I say God bless
you to someone, I don't mean like the Christian God. Okay,

(01:32:29):
even if I did, that's an asshole thing to say
to someone when they say God bless you. It's an
asshole thing to say to someone when they say God
bless you. I don't believe it because when someone says God,
bless you. They're trying to be nice, They're trying to
they just they really just mean have a good day.
And then when you say I don't believe in God,

(01:32:50):
you kind of be an asshole. But I also I
don't really, I don't mean, I don't know. I don't
I don't believe in God. I don't believe in like
Christian God either. I believe in like higher power ship.
I think you can mar yeah, yeah, but like that's
what God. Yeah, but but but that's what God means,
you know, it just means higher power. It doesn't necessarily

(01:33:11):
mean like the God that you grew up with when
you were going to church and ship. You know. Yeah,
so what so may the higher may, whatever controls the
flow of the universe be that, even not a higher power,
be that even you. May whatever that force is, even
if that force is literally you and your brain and

(01:33:33):
your actions, you being God, May God bless you, May
you bless you? You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:33:42):
Well, is this what it feels like being blessed by
the gekker right now? Do you believe I do believe
in the Gecko?

Speaker 3 (01:33:53):
I just that because I've been saying God bless you
to people, and I don't know why, but that's what
I mean when I say it, I think when it
comes out of my.

Speaker 4 (01:34:03):
Ask you about that. I've always wanted to ask you
about that. It's just like, I don't know if he's
like real because I know you're Jewish. So it's just like.

Speaker 3 (01:34:11):
I grew up I culturally, I grew up culturally Jewish,
but I don't like, I don't like, I don't know
what the toll rest. I don't even think, but I
don't think most Jews know what like it doesn't Judaism
has no effect on my spiritual views of life in
the universe. It's just you know, I like, I like

(01:34:34):
eating matza.

Speaker 4 (01:34:38):
I haven't had matsa in a long time.

Speaker 3 (01:34:41):
But no, I don't mean like a Christian. I don't
mean like a Christian. I don't mean like a Christian
made Jesus Christ as we understand that to be. You know,
it just means, you know, whatever I guess I explained it. Well,
it's just a higher power. That's not even when I
you know what, you know what it really is. Actually

(01:35:01):
it's not even any of that stuff. It's just you
know what it really is. I just needed something to say. Oh,
that's what it really is. It just means by it
just it just makes It's just words. It means nothing.
It doesn't even mean any of the stuff I said
about you being God. It's just saying more words because

(01:35:22):
we're in a conversation, and when you're in a conversation,
you have to say words for there to be a conversation.
That's what it means when I say cared bless you.

Speaker 4 (01:35:31):
So yeah, if you put down a T shirt, I'd
totally buy it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:34):
Matt God bless you. Send me that video of you
lifting one hundred and whatever pounds and I may never
talk to you ever again. But if that is the case,
I enjoyed the period of time that we did get
to talk.

Speaker 4 (01:35:50):
I I I concur have a good name Matte that.

Speaker 3 (01:35:56):
I liked Matt, that was cool. I liked everyone we
talked to today. What a great episode of the podcast.
Thank you to everyone who listens to this. This is
a fun episode of the podcast. Sometimes sometimes we just
do an episode and I'm like, wow, I felt great.
The correlation is always it's always about how much caffeine
I induce I ingested before recording. It makes me feel

(01:36:19):
like myself, like chemically. I know it's not. It feels
weird to like need a substance to be yourself, but
I really do feel like myself. I felt I loved
the version of myself that I was for the entire
duration of this episode. And the reason for that is

(01:36:40):
because I drank a diet Mountain Dew, which has ninety
one milligrams of caffeine. I could keep talking. Sometimes by
the end of doing this, like I'm exhausted and I
lie on the floor. But today I'm like, I could
just keep talking. I feel good. This was nice. I'm
gonna cut my line. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna

(01:37:01):
quit while we're hot. Thank you for listening to the
Therapy Echo podcast. I really mean it. I'm honored. Thanks
for sitting through the ads or skipping through them. Thanks
for dealing with it, Thanks for listening, Thanks for commenting.
If you comment, I read all the Spotify and the
YouTube comments because I'm crazy. This was nice, this was good.

(01:37:26):
I enjoyed doing this. This was this was this was
this felt fun to do, and I felt honored to
be able to do it today. So thank you for listening.
I'm gonna go calm down. I need to calm down.
I'm gonna go calm down. God bless you. I guess

(01:37:46):
whatever the fuck I mean when I say that, I'm glad.
I got to clear that up. And uh, I'm gonna
go eat something. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go eat
a fucking sandwich and watch TV and feel honored. I'm
gonna go eat a sandwich and watch a YouTube video
about Luigi and about like ten Luigi facts or whatever

(01:38:09):
the fuck, and I'm gonna feel honored that I get
to live today to do that, all right. Gecko out
goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.

Speaker 5 (01:38:23):
Never Beacon goes to his ride.

Speaker 1 (01:38:25):
He's teaching you

Speaker 2 (01:38:26):
A loud in them of your life, but he's not
really an expert.

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Lyle Drescher

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