August 25, 2024 • 72 mins
A caller discusses their “homeless by choice” lifestyle of couch hopping around stranger’s homes.
Afterwards a daughter tries to make sense of why her dad keeps faking his death on Facebook and I have a casual chat with a man named Bob.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, So Hi, what is your name?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
My name's NICKI go by Nikki the Star.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Uh Niki? What's going on? How can I how can
I get you today?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm ecstatic to be gecked.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Well, it says here you wanted to talk about being
homeless by choice for the past two years.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, it's kind of been like a house hopping situation,
to be.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Honest, Okay, what's the deal.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It's like more peaceful and I kind of get to
like be wherever I want. Like I live in the
middle of nowhere in Ohio and I've gotten to like
go everywhere in Ohio in a sense.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So when you say that you are okay, so you've
been homeless by a choice. So you say that you've
been the house hopping for the past ten Yeah, what
does that mean?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
So?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I just went through my third toxic roommate.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
This one was the worst of it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I went over to his house to pick up my
staff ultimately, and he kicked the side mirror off of
my friend's car and like throwing the blatta gun and everything.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It was before we get that what. So, So you're like,
what is house hopping mean? Like what do you do?
Whose houses are you hopping?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
It's kind of just I'm a stripper and a porn star. Okay,
like this that's my full time profession. But it's kind
of just like it's really toxic men that I shouldn't
move in with, and it's it's not great. I can't
get out of the cycle at this point.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So okay, so the homeless. So you're homeless by choice,
hopping around the houses of different guys and you're living
there for a little bit of time, and you've been
doing this for two years all over Ohio.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, No, I'm no, I don't know what Chat's saying
because I'm not.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I don't don't, I don't. I don't want to talk
about the chat. We're not. I'm not this is We're
just don't don't think about the chat, don't think about
just I'm just curious, okay, we don't think about any
of that stuff. I'm just I'm just asking, you know, So,
is that so that's what you're doing?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, Okay, how is that going?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Well, I'm homeless as of yesterday, but ultimately, like my
biggest thing is I've had the money at multiple points,
like I'm homeless, carless. I've never bought an apartment or
anything like, and I've had the money to do so,
but for some reason, it feels more comforting to do
it how I'm doing it, So I call myself like
(02:50):
nomadic by choice.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay, so you've so you've made money stripping and doing porn,
and you've made enough money that if you really want it,
so you could rent an apartment.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
But yeah, like I've had all the I've had all
the things to put my life back together, and I
really just have.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
It, Okay, And so instead you're how are you meeting
these guys that you're you're living at their houses?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I don't actually know. It's a really bad habit of
kind of moving in with strangers. I'm just like, I'm
careless in a destructive sense.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
How do you meet these strangers that you move in with?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I have like memory issues from a little brand image,
and I can't remember the stories of how I meant.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Most of them.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
But I do end up moving in like shortly after
meeting these people.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
How many different people's houses if you stayed at.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Over the passage, I think over four or five.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
It only lasts a couple of months and then I
kind of like gotta fund one.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
And are you, like, do you have stuff? Like what
do you what do you do with your stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I've lived in toads, right, I own three totes worth.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Of planes and I kind of just live like that,
all right, And what uh in these past like five
dudes houses that you've lived in, what has the experience
been like?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Well, most of them ended up really badly and me
getting kicked out in like a really traumatic manner.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Okay, So if you have the money, why do you
not get your own place?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, currently I'm on like probation and stuff, but prior
to this, I don't I'm I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I have like a weird outlook on life.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I've been through like a lot of trauma and a
lot of like changing experiences. I got really heavily into
like a lot of psychedelics for a while too, So
I feel like.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Introspective about the world.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
But like, I have a condition where I have seizures
if I get too stressed out. So in order to
like keep my seizures to a minimum, I have to
live completely stressed free. So I don't like everything about
owning a house or in a parka.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I'm going to stop you. I need to stop you
right there. Oh no, I'm sorry. Would you say your
name was again?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Nikki the Star?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
You're telling me by choice, you believe that you being
homeless and staying at the houses of strangers that you
just met is less stressful than just having your own apartments. Yeah,
I how did you come How did you come to
(05:50):
that concision?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
It's also just like I started off doing this when
I was in like a really bad position, okay, and like,
ultimately mean it's it's easier and less stressful for me
not to change my situation.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Nikki, do you do you want better for your life?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I don't know that better is like a good word, is.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
A good word. I think better is a good word
in this situation.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I'm going to be one hundred percent honest. Even in
my situation, my current situation, it's not optimal. I'm sure
nobody dreams of this life. I feel the best I've
ever felt in my life. I feel I feel honestly
fantastic about my life. Okay, I mean it's not all optimal,
(06:46):
but I mean I've been to the bottom of the
barrel because I feel like every I get to enjoy
everything else a lot more.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
The little things in life mean a whole lot more.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So tell me more why you feel like you know
these these past two years. Why do you feel why
do you feel like your life is the best it's
ever been.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I had like a whole traumatic assault case when I
was really young. I was like fourteen fifteen, and my
whole childhood I was just like sheltered this like I
turned eighteen, I got kicked out before I turned eighteen,
and this is when all of.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
This has started. But like I chose to.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Spend my adult life so far not worrying about being
an adult as much as like, okaying, like I have
a good quality in life, which I don't feel like
a lot of people can say.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
And that's what I've been working on.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Okay, my mental health and my physical health are really
bad off.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
So you're right, Yeah, No, I'm not crying. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
No I'm going to you're not That's what a great sentence. No,
I'm not crying. I'm just smoking a joint. Okay, sure,
all right, you know what, but all right, there's so
many things going on here that are interesting.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Uh, you know, what when I think, Actually, I watched
I watched all of the adults in my childhood. I'm
happy with their life because they never spent time trying
to find quality in life, and they just spent time
living life.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I I I really, Nikki, I really do feel like
you are reaching positive conclusions and then making wrong decisions
based off of those positive Because here's the thing. I'm
really I'm happy to hear that you are. It sounds
(09:03):
to me like you're just like, Oh, things were so
bad and now they're not as bad, and I'm really
grateful for that. And I think that's sick. But I
still don't understand why. By if you're telling me the truth,
and this really is by choice, that by choice, you
(09:24):
are opting to meet strange guys in ways that you
don't even remember and sleep at their houses instead of
just getting an apartment with the money, and it sounds.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Really bad for everybody.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Well, I'm not saying that I had money at the
time that I moved into their house.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I'm more so saying I'm talking.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I'm talking about today, I'm talking about I'm talking about
right now, Well.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Right now, I just got kicked out of the last
one I don't currently have money for all that because
life's been a shit show this year. But like I'm
just saying, everybody kind of looks at my life from
a distance and doesn't really understand it.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
What do you think people don't understand about your life?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Like I I nobody, nobody would do the things I
do but me and my breast friend, and we call
ourselves goblins and we just kind of like I've been
living the past two years is just like a street goblin.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, okay, what do you think people don't understand about
being a street goblin?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I do goblin shit twenty four seven. It's it's permanent
goblin time over here. Just my whole day is dedicated
to whatever the fuck flies to me, and like it's
it's always goblin shit.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So look, I think that you can kind of do
whatever you want as long as you're happy and as
long as you're safe. Do you feel like you're safe?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I do?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Can I ask you this too? Like you're like, what's
your what's your deal with your family?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
My family is not great and I have I don't know.
They just didn't like how it turned out, which I
get it. I mean I'm a stripper in porn starr
and I do like let people know this proudly. Okay,
I'm proud of my career choices and my family doesn't
vibe with strippers.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Okay, and you said you have a you have a
goblin friend. What's how do you How do you know her?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
My goblin friends?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I actually met at the strip club the first time
we ever met. She worked at a sixth store at
the time, and she had it they'll give you freezies
when you work there if they're like getting rid of stuff,
and they gave her butthole loop and she does not
do any so, so we befriended each other over butthole loop.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Okay. Do you do you have any concerns at all
about the way that you live or about or or okay,
well how about this? How about this with this? If
not any concerns about your present, do you have any
concerns for the future.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I do have concerns for the future, definitely.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Okay, what are your concerns for the future.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I don't spend too much time worrying about like what's
going to happen, because I do have some significant brain image,
like I got to focus on processing what's going on
now in this current moment. Like I don't really do
like plans or schedules or anything like that. I don't
worry horrifically about the future, but I do, like I
(12:53):
have been wondering lately if there's something else that's going
to be better one day?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Is there is there something else in.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Your getting a house like I have been in the
longing for Like I have decorations, but they've stayed in
a box for two years now, so I've never been
somewhere long enough to decorate. H Like that that sense
and like similar.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
To confidently.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Call a home definitely like gets to me.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Okay, hm hmm. Have you ever seen, like have you
seen a real therapist or a doctor to talk about
any of these things?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
So, I mean I have in the past, and it's
all been very traumatizing, But I almost like to think myself,
I'm a little delvisional, and I'll put it out there now,
but I do find myself like very therapizing.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I've got a lot going.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
On in my brain and like a lot of it's
some really serious mental stuff. But I feel like I
understand my own brain better than I could explain it
to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay, that's ensure. That's an interesting thought. But I'm not
telling you. I'm not even saying, I guess explaining you.
Why was therapy? Was it?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Was it helpful for you?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I don't feel like so. I'm unmedicated and parawell i'd
like to call it. I don't go to therapy and
it never helped me, and medications never.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Helped me either.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Okay, I just I just smoke.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Some weed and I get on with my day.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
All right, Do you feel like you'll be Okay?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Okay, it's very retrospective. I didn't get to tell you
why I feel a little bit safer because I also
do have background in like dominatrix work.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Okay, h what the funk was? I gonna say?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Just now, there's a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I know there is sure Uh all right, I mean,
I mean I'm debating, uh how much concern? Uh this
is raising? I guess because I don't I don't know, man,
(15:31):
I don't know. But where do you? Well? I know
it's gonna ask, where are you calling me from? Right now?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
I am currently at It's it's the guy I'm sleepings
with sisters and her girlfriend's birthday today, so we're having
a seafood boil and I'm allergic to seafood.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
So okay, so you started hooking up with a guy
and it's his sister's birthday, so he brought you to
this seafood boil.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Oh yeah, I'm like there's I'm like, they're little pet.
I'm their little stripper pet. They just bring me everywhere.
I like pretty and stand in the background.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Okay, well a shit, I mean is there anything else
that you wanted to talk about in this regard? I
just I just like, look, I think it's good that
you enjoy your life. That you're enjoying going goblin mode.
(16:32):
I just would think that, like, like if you like,
even like if you're making money and you have money,
I would think if I were you, about how you
can use the money that you're making and the money
that you're saving and the money that you know, whatever
you're you know, how you can invest it, how you
can use it to gain a sense of stability so
(16:55):
that you know your God you can still goblin mode.
I actually like you can still like because to me, look,
goblin mode. Okay, I have thoughts. It took me a
little bit to come up with my thoughts. I've decided,
what do you think about this goblin mode that you
are describing? This freedom? This, I do what I want.
(17:18):
I don't care what other people think about me. I've
spent my whole life fucking whatever, bowing down to parents
or bowing down to whatever the fuck, And now I'm
gonna do what i want. I'm gonna live how I want.
My parents just did whatever they were told forever, and
I'm gonna do what i want. I'm gonna go goblin mode.
I think that's cool for real, I do, okay, But
(17:42):
I think you can have that mindset and live your
life with that mindset without being homeless. I think, and
I said this during this call. I've said this, You've
come to positive conclusions. It's just the actions that I
(18:03):
feel like some of the actions that you have taken
as a result of the positive conclusions you've comfort to
are are are wrong turns, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Like I'm not saying I disagree at all, Okay, but
it's a very delusional life that I'm.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Living, Okay, all right, I just I mean, I'm happy.
My quality of life is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
And that's great and that's great.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Get past eighteen years and that not having that great
and that's great.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
And I don't know if you believe me, but I
think you can maintain that level of happiness, if not
even increase it by choosing not to be homeless and
live with strangers that you don't remember meeting. That's that's
that's my word. You can think about it, you can
take it, or you can leave it. But that's that's
(19:01):
I guess what I have to say.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I mean, it's it's valid. I feel like I'm also
twenty and I'm not really like vibing with the idea
of being an adult at the moment. So the least
amount of adult shit I could possibly do so that
I don't wake up every day and cry is alright
with me. Like I still go to work and I
(19:24):
still like pay my bills. There's a couple that are necessary.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
But uh, well, Nikki, is there anything else you want
to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
No? I just love walking your show.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
I'm excited to see this episode.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I've been waiting forever. I was sitting there and they
were I was admiring them, tearing apart crawfishells. And then
I saw that you'd called, so I ran outside.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, take care of NICKI good luck, good luck, good luck?
Yea goblin mode. I don't know. I don't have anything
else to say that I didn't already say while I
was talking to her.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
But.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
A shit, I don't know, man. It's like, it's like
if you're a homie told you that he was good.
It's like if like, what's the story? What's that that?
Into the wild? You guys know, into the wild. It's
with that guy. Christopher McCandless was his name. I think
that's his name. It might not, that might be the
name of something that could. But there's this guy who
(20:38):
went into the woods by choice to survive off of
berries and nothing else, and in a weird way, in
a weird way, he went. He went faral mode when
christopherm you can look this up. Look up. I don't know,
people look up Into the Wild, Christopher McAndless, you were
(20:59):
a whole book. There's a movie about it. He'd by choice,
was homeless and went into the woods. I don't think
he told anyone. I don't know, I really don't remember.
But if he did, right, like if he did. If
your friend was like, Hey, I'm gonna go live in
the woods because nobody can tell me what to do,
and I'm going goblin mode, you you'd like, you'd be concerned, right,
(21:25):
he'd be concerned. But a lot of Look, a lot
of people think Christopher McCandless was awesome, and they egged
him on, and they were like, you know, this guy
is a hero. He's sick, he defied convention, and he's
he's inspired me to also exit the capitalist healthscape that
(21:47):
I live in and go live in the woods. Other
people are like, hey, you know, he did do that.
And I don't know exactly how long, but pretty soon
after he did that, he died. He super died. He
died a lot. He very much died after doing that,
(22:07):
and he I don't think he lasted that long. And
a lot of people are like, hey, you know, he died,
so it probably wasn't the greatest idea for him to
go goblin mode, which Camp was, right. I don't know.
That's a matter of personal philosophy. I suppose I will
(22:33):
not be going goblin mode anytime soon. I will be
sitting and eating chips.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Hello, Hello, Hi, gach, what.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Is your name Millie, Millie, what's going on has life?
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Well, I guess I just kind of wanted to talk
about my dad.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
H go ahead, So.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Whenever me or my brother don't talk to him for
a few days or like we're mad at him, he
will go on Facebook and say that he passed away.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
How does he say that he passed away? Does? Who
does he pose as making the post?
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Yeah, that's what we don't really know.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
So he just so like, what, what's what's your dad's name?
Or give me a fake name. What's like, what's his.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Jacob?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Okay, so Jacob goes, Jacob Frankfort. That's your fake last name.
Jacob Frankfort has died. Post by Jacob Frankfort.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Yeah. So what exactly happened was he changed his Facebook banner.
It was just like a blurry photo of nothing, and
then someone replied to it, like one of his friends,
and said are you okay? And then my dad replied
back at himself saying he passed period, And then and
(24:24):
then the friend replied who passed and then he replied
Jacob did. And like, I don't have Facebook, so I
didn't see this. So my other siblings and like my friends,
they contacted me, like have you heard from your dad?
Like what's going on? I'm like, oh God, what do
you do? Like, Oh, he's saying that he passed on Facebook?
(24:49):
And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
How many times did he fake his own.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Death on Facebook? Only the once? But he's doing it again.
So that was about a year ago and he never
really explained what that was about. And about a few
(25:15):
days ago, him and my brother have like issues that
they need to work on or whatever. My brother was
trying to have that conversation with him, and instead of
having that conversation, my dad like calls me and starts
(25:35):
going off on me, saying that we don't care that
he's dying. I'm like, what are you talking about? You're dying?
And I don't try to get him to tell me,
like what's going on?
Speaker 6 (25:51):
Like, so.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
A year ago, when he posts that he's dying, how
does he get like, like how does he get caught
that he's not dead?
Speaker 7 (26:03):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
How do you when you when you find out that he's.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Not dead, He'll just keep posting again, like nothing happens.
That's the crazy part. Like I don't see how he
doesn't see how that's insane or like how it's going
(26:26):
to affect us, you know, like we have our own
ship going on, and on top of this, we have
a dad that's one day he's perfectly fine and then
the next screaming at me on the phone saying, you
don't care that I'm dying. And I'm like, I don't know, Like,
(26:53):
are we gonna see on Facebook again?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
He so, what? What's what? It seems like you, in
general have a tumultuous relationship with your dad.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Sorry, what did you say?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It seems in general that you have a tumultuous relationship
with your dad.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
Yeah, it's I don't like I love him a lot,
but he stresses me out beyond belief. Like what's the
last night he calls me at five in the morning
and I'm asleep and he leaves me a voice smell saying,
(27:35):
well by tried. I'm like, what do you mean you try?
You called at five in the morning.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
So he's dying again?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Is he really dying? Why does he say? Why does
he say he's dying again?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
He just threatens that. I guess, Like I talked to
him very often. I keep up with him. I ask
him about his health and he always says everything's fine,
until like, either I don't talk to him for a
few days or my brother goes off on him, then
(28:19):
suddenly he's dying.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Is does your dad? Is your dad married?
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, what's going on with his wife?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
So they take care of his mom and she does
like the day shifts and he does night shifts, So
as far as he tells me, they don't really get
to spend much time together. And his wife either happily yeah,
(28:53):
I mean they're happily married.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
So this is not This is not a guy who's
just completely alone and is trying to get attention from
his kids because because he's lonely, he's happily married. Yeah,
how long has he How long has he been like
doing shit like this?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
A long time? I mean the threatening of dying I
can't even remember. Honestly, he is like he's such a
smart man, but he's so dramatic and like says the
(29:36):
craziest things, like just the other night, he was mad
that I didn't reply to him within thirty minutes and
then he texts me, you're selfish, you know what, just
don't bother. Karma seeks those who seek it, So this.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Is probably what I assume a real therapist would tell
you that your dad has no boundaries?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Uh huh?
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Have you attempted to set boundaries with your dad?
Speaker 4 (30:15):
When I do, he start screaming and saying that we
don't care about him, and like I keep saying, he
will go back to the I'm dying and you don't care?
And I'm like, is he dying?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I mean, as far as I know, no, how does
your brother deal with all this ship? How does your
brother deal with all this ship?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
He tells me that I should block him.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
And I assume that means your brother has him blocked?
Speaker 4 (30:50):
He has? I mean, I'm the only one of his
kids that he has, like an actual.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Really with how many kids does he have?
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Four? And that also don't talk to him anymore.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Okay, so you're the last one that like wants to
put up with him. Yeah, So I'm curious, and I
mean I don't. This is not a leading question in
any way, shape or form, but I'm curious. Why do
you put up with him?
Speaker 4 (31:33):
That's a good question. That's what my brother asks. Because
I love him, That's the simple answer. Like he drives
me crazy, and he says crazy, hurtful ding sometimes, but
like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
You're right, Milly. Oh yeah, okay. How much longer do
you think you can put up with them?
Speaker 4 (32:14):
I don't know. I mean, this has been happening for
a long time, Like this isn't just the only crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Well, yeah, he faked his own death twice. That's two
crazy things. Have you ever spoken to a real therapist
about this? No? Okay, you probably should, but I assume
they would tell you. Uh uh, I don't know. I
(32:45):
don't fucking know what a real therapist would say in
this situation. But fucking.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Everyone that I talked to about it, they say, don't
deal with this, you don't deserve this. But if I
I feel like if I really stop talking to him,
who knows what he would do, Like if he acts
(33:16):
like this when he doesn't get a text back in
thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yeah, but okay, you know what, Look, I'm gonna actually like, uh,
let loose on this one a little bit. How how
old is your dad.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Sixty two?
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Sixty two? Is he mentally competent? Yeah, okay, he's not.
There's not like something divergent about him.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
No, I mean he drinks a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Okay, so your dad's sixty two, So in my opinion,
and how old are you? That was in his thirties,
he decided to have a kid, And with that decision,
it's like a crazy decision to make. That was thirty
He decided to have a kid, and he kind of
(34:15):
has to take on one of the responsibilities of doing that,
which is to not consistently call your kid yelling at
her and saying heartful things, you know, And it kind
of sounds like he you know, I mean, he's he
has he shown you any remorse at all?
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yes, but.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
Like it's really passive aggressive, we're backhanded. Like I mean,
for example, when when he went off on me the
other day for no reason, started doing that I don't
care about his health and stuff. I was like, what
makes me selfish?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Like?
Speaker 4 (35:06):
What am I doing?
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Your dad is? Take your dad is? Is I'm playing?
I mean, I guess it's my job to play armchair therapist.
I guess that's what I fucking do. But to play
armchair therapist your dad sounds like he's taking all of
his problems and unleashing them upon to you and making
them your problems, which is truly a horrible thing for
(35:32):
a parent to do to their kid. I believe he.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
Had always done that too, and like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Not that's not it's a terrible fucking reason to have
a kid.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Yeah, it's really it's really frustrating because like I have
my own ship going on, I have my own life.
Like I can't answer at five in the morning, you know,
I don't know. Me and my brother thought, like after
(36:11):
we found out that he was okay, obviously, like we
thought it was pretty funny two right on your own
Facebook as yourself that you passed.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
No, no, no, it's really really funny. It's very funny.
It's very funny to do that. And then afterwards, you know,
update your fucking candy crush scores.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Uh yeah, twenty four hours later, he's posting his candy.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Crush that's funny.
Speaker 6 (36:44):
You know.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
I almost I actually jen I feel I like, for real,
I feel bad for your dad because I don't know why.
I don't know why he he he uh like that
that's kind of how I feel. Like I feel bad
for your dad because clearly he's in a lot of pain,
but he doesn't. I feel bad for you because he's
unleashing his pain upon to you, which is not a
(37:07):
cool thing for you know, a parent to do to
their kid. And I don't think you. I don't think
you're required to put up with it.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
I feel Badrahim too, and I guess that's why I
keep responding in right.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
But but you, I think you can feel bad for
him and want him to be better without taking a
loan out of the bank of your sanity. Yeah, and
I know, by the way, that's an extremely hard thing
to do. I actually have no idea, you know, like
(37:44):
this is like we're we're discussing a pretty like emotionally
distressing and complex thing that's way easy, easier, easier said
than easier said by a gecko than done. But you know,
I don't know, man, It's it's a really it's it's
it's a tough situation. I feel I I I feel
(38:08):
your stress.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Yeah, he'll spam text me late at night, Like one
second it's really sweet, like I love you so much,
you mean the world to me, and then ten minutes
later it's shame on you.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Tell you tell your dad to get help. I mean
that that's you know what, That's probably what I would
do if I was you. Unfortunately, I'm just trying to
I'm trying to put myself in your shoes is like
I would just like your your dad, like like you
(38:47):
can set up a kind of I guess, like an ultimatum,
a thing where it's like, look, you can be a
part of my life, but you gotta fucking get help, dude,
Like you gotta go, you gotta there's something going on
with you. Your brother did that exact thing.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
But yeah, a few days ago, and that's what unleashed this.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I mean, if that's you. I mean, dude, if that's
what your brother did, then the ball is in your
dad's court.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
He just doesn't reply to him, and then he calls me,
yelling at me that we don't care. It's just the
same cycle. Like so frustrating.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I I think you should tell your dad he's gotta
he's gotta get help. He's got to work on himself.
If if you're gonna talk to him, because he can't
just like because like you want he's your dad, you
clearly love him and you want him to not be insane,
But he's gotta also want himself to not be insane
(39:49):
and not just take it out on you.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Yeah, I don't sorry, I don't see how he doesn't realize,
like what he is doing is unfair and crazy.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
And he's smart, like he is. He's smart. So that's
another reason I don't understand how he could act like this.
And we're nothing but completely rational too to him. And
(40:37):
it's a good thing he deleted his Facebook, because.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
It's a good thing he deleted his Facebook. I think
Facebook was too powerful a tool for him and frank frankly,
I mean frankly, too powerful a tool for us, several
people of his age. I think I love you. You
ever go on Reddit? You ever go to r slash
insane people Facebook?
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Yeah, I've seen some stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, you know there's there's thousands and thousands of your
dad's out there also faking their own depth on a
daily basis. So I so I hope you don't feel
alone in that. H what's your name again, Millilli? Well listen,
(41:22):
Millie again. You know this is a tough situation, but
I hope you do whatever is best for you. I
know that's that's like an empty thing to say. I'm
bad at ending conversations, but I feel like we got
some good stuff out in the middle of this, you
know what I mean? Like if you judged it on
the middle, not on the end. When I said a
(41:43):
platitude to you, I think it would have been a
good I think it was a good. Do you think
was Was this a helpful conversation to you in any
way shape before?
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (41:51):
I think it was Okay, cool.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
Yeah, you kind of just said what everyone in my life.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I absolutely assume I'm not the first person to tell
you all of these things. But listen, listen. Similar to
how you can tell your dad that he needs to
do something all he wants, at the end of the day,
he's the one that's got to make the choice, and
as are you the one that has to make yours.
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4 (42:25):
If your dad ever writes on his own Facebook that
he passed away and you're not sure and it's probably not.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
True, I don't I don't know, I have no idea.
Facebook's kind of crazy. Okay, bye, Milly, bye talking to you. Yeah,
you know what this is kind of so, I kind
(42:58):
of wanted to go look at crazy face Facebook stuff.
There's still people on there. Do you know that you
ever log into Facebook? Let's see who's still on there,
it's it's pretty uh like I remember being on Facebook
in like twenty seventeen and seeing people facebook into the void.
(43:19):
You know, you know those people who are facebooking into
the void, like whoever, whoever, you whoever when you were
on Facebook in twenty seventeen, was facebooking into the void
and you were looking at them their statuses and going,
how does this person keep making these Facebook statuses for
no one? I guarantee, Like, if you have someone in
your head, I guarantee if you log into your Facebook
(43:42):
right now, they posted an hour ago and they're still
doing it. And you know what, actually, and by the way,
by the way, I don't mean to say this as
a as a dick thing, like, oh, that person's crazy.
I don't I actually don't think that person is crazy.
I fully understand why people facebook into the void. It's
(44:05):
like journaling. They're basically they're basically journaling. That's what they're doing.
They're journaling, and they're like, it kind of feels good
to take my journal and throw it into the void
just so it's there. That's what That's what it is, man.
That's why we that's why they're facebooking. We all just
want to be seen. I think I think we all
(44:26):
just want to be seen, felt, heard, understood, loved, and
that's why we publicly and that's why Farmville works, because
we just want to be seen. That's why people Facebook
into the void, that's why, that's why people fake their
own deaths. That's why if you go on in sane
(44:47):
people Facebook, it's just it's just a bunch of people
who want to be loved, which is kind of is
stupid to say, but it's I guess that's true. And
sometimes love makes you say completely insane horrible things on Facebook,
is what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (45:08):
Okay, from Hi, it was Bob out of twenty two.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Hello, Hello, what's your name?
Speaker 6 (45:19):
My name is Bob.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Well, Bob, what's going on? How can I get you today?
Speaker 6 (45:25):
Well? I actually have a question. I mean, it's just
because I'm mostly a podcast listener, but I've noticed you
don't really ever get anyone on the show that's like
super Trolley, Like there's never anyone who's called in and
been like a boobs or whatever. Then hung up. I
was kind of curious about why that was.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Well, it's interesting that you say that that nobody has
called in and gone ah Boobs whatever, because I too
thought when I first started this that there would be
a lot more people calling in and saying ah boobs yeah,
and I'll set the show. So the way, like, I
don't know how much I talk about this on the podcast,
(46:05):
but this show first started as a thing that I
would do on the Reddit Public Access Network back in
like twenty twenty. I don't know, are you familiar with
the Reddit Public Access Network?
Speaker 6 (46:17):
Yeah? I never really got like on it, but like
I knew of it.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
It never took off. It was this weird thing where
for like a year or two, maybe not even that long,
about a year, Reddit was had live streams where you
could go live and if your streams got popular, they'd
go to the front page of Reddit. And so the
way that this show first started is I was fucking
(46:40):
around as therapy Gecko taking phone calls on Reddit. And
when I was doing that, that was a lot that
was like my streams would go to the front page.
So I'd have like forty two thousand concurrent viewers watching
the show, and like almost all of them had no
(47:03):
idea who I was, or cared or anything like that,
and so I was definitely getting fucked with a lot more.
Back when I was doing that, other people would call
in and just like try to you know, be an asshole.
But true. But even dude, even back then, truly, I
(47:28):
was astounded at how little that would happen, even back then,
Like surely maybe like once a month someone would call
in just to you know, say something bad and hang up.
But I thought it was gonna happen every single time
I went live. To be honest, I thought I was
gonna be my stream was just gonna get kind of vandalized.
(47:52):
People kept telling me that, They're like, I would never
put up a phone number because someone's gonna say something
and I'm gonna get banned from Twitch, And I'm like,
I don't people, that doesn't really happen. And even when
it would happen, I wouldn't make it a big fucking deal.
I wouldn't be like, I wouldn't stop the stream and
be like I do not condone. I would just I
would just be like, that was stupid, Okay, let's move on,
you know, because that's what they want you to do.
(48:13):
They want you to get pissed off and make a
whole big deal out of it because they want attentions.
I mean, that's really it. But dude, for real, I
am very pleasantly surprised that like ninety nine point nine
nine percent of people that I have spoken to the
(48:37):
thousands of fucking phone calls I've taken since do it
on the Reddit streams and the twitch streams and the
podcast all stuff. Genuine people for real, like genuine cool.
They just want to talk. Or if they are being
trolley or saying boobs or whatever, it's not out of
any malice. Maybe it's just because they're nervous so they
(48:57):
don't know what to say, or they were trying to
be funny. Like nobody. I don't think anyone's really come
on here with true, honest to god negative malice. And
if they ever did, it was, you know, three out
of a thousands, which is kind of crazy to me.
It's kind of crazy to me. It's funny. I've thought
(49:17):
about this before. Of all the people that I meet
doing this, whether it's on the phone or in person, again,
like pleasant interactions, extremely pleasant interactions over the phone and
in person when I do my live shows, Like, I
really don't have any bad experiences meeting talking to any
(49:41):
of these people on the phone or in person. It's
mainly like on the comments section of things and in
the chats, you know what I mean, where people are
just going insane, you know. I mean even I'll say
that the twitch chat is cool. The twitch chat it
does not. But still it's like, it's so funny to
me because I'll look at the Instagram comments of like
(50:03):
a clip of some kind that I've posted, and you know,
everyone is like people are getting into crazy fights and
just acting like lunatics. And then I meet these same
people in person and everyone's awesome. I don't, I know,
it's funny, but and they're the same fucking people. You know,
it's crazy.
Speaker 6 (50:23):
Yeah, that's what I was curious about, because like that
it sounds like I'm setting up for a bit, But
I promise you I'm not like do it.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
I don't even wonder, No, I.
Speaker 6 (50:31):
Re seriously would have a bit. I was just curious
because like, I primarily listen to the podcast, and then
I had that thought. So then I start watching more
streams and I'm still like, the ratio here is insane
because I haven't ever seen anyone call in and do
anything stupid, like I think most shows that are calling
have those kinds of people and it just seems like
yours doesn't just nuts.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Yeah, and I you know, I'm very also I'm also
very happy with like the size of my show. I'm
not like, like if whatever x QC or someone like
that open to their line to phone calls, I'm sure
that would happen a lot, but uh I I really
I'm at a fantastic perfect size of audience where the
(51:14):
people who listen are just like I mean, that's the dream,
right is You're you're popular enough that the only people
who like know about you are people who are like,
you know, actually like give a fuck about what you're doing,
and not like, you know, people who not not not
being like someone someone crazy internet famous who people just
kind of will well, we'll want to fuck with just
(51:37):
because it's funny. Yeah, Like I'm surprised, I'm I'm really
surprised that a bunch of like fourteen year olds into
discord chat have not been like, hey, let's go say
a bunch of horrible racist things on the Therapy Geckos stream.
You know, like that's that's happened. That's happened way way
way less than I thought it would. Sorry, what did
(52:02):
you say?
Speaker 6 (52:03):
That's why I'm like, I wonder if maybe I've just
like missed it or because for whatever reason, like maybe
it's that it is happening on the show and it's
just cut out of the cast. But no, I guess not.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
No.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
I mean I cut a lot of phone calls off
of the twitch stream before I put it into the podcast,
but nothing like with malicious intent. Part of me wonders
if because I'm probably gonna put this conversation on the podcast,
and part of me wonders if we're jinxing it a
little bit, But I don't think so. I don't even think.
I don't think that this is going to jinx it.
(52:36):
I don't.
Speaker 6 (52:38):
I was hoping that like by calling it and asking
I wouldn't make it worse, because I'm sure that people
have the same thought.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
Well, I mean, that's the thing is that the people
like I think that the people who would want to
just like call in and vandalize the stream are the
people who they're not. They left, They left a long
time ago because they didn't actually give a fuck about
like being here and listening to any of this. So
it kind of makes sense when you think about it
(53:10):
like that, have.
Speaker 6 (53:12):
There been any calls that you have that have been
super long. When did maybe you thought were with somebody
pulling your leg, because there's been a couple where I've
been like I feel like that was an act.
Speaker 1 (53:24):
Uh yeah, sure, yeah, definitely hundred percent, one hundred percent.
You know, you know what I'm gonna say this, and
this is uh uh do you?
Speaker 6 (53:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Fuck it? So the you remember a caller who talked
about jizzing on pizzas.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
Yes, that was the one I thought of, Like that
was okay.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
So like like a few days after I put that
out or whatever or had the call, and I went
on discord and I was just like browsing my discord
and I saw a guy in the cord. It'd be like, hey,
that was I was just that was me who was
(54:04):
talking about that. I was just pulling the prank. And
I was like and no, I didn't know. It wasn't
even funny. I was like, don't do that, man, I
hate that.
Speaker 6 (54:13):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (54:14):
No.
Speaker 6 (54:15):
The one is the I think there was this lady
who like thought she was like fucking of aliens or something.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
Yeah, yeah, sure, the lady who I remember you're talking
about the lady who thought that she who she was
she was like a high she claims to be a
high ranking government official who gets abducted by aliens regularly.
I okay that I know exactly what you're talking about.
I think okay. The question of okay that one, I
(54:43):
think I would say confidently whoever I was speaking with
on the phone believed what they were saying to be true.
Speaker 6 (54:54):
Yeah, it was hard. It was a toss up for me.
Like part of me was like, this person is either
it's possibly mentally ill, foot pulling a break, but either way, like,
I think you handled it really well.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
Well thanks, Also because I don't I think it's not
fun to constantly be like this is fake and stupid.
I I really someone was asking about this thing. I
really believe, like from sitting in the driver's seat of
this thing. My perspective is that the majority, you know,
(55:28):
most people are telling the truth and coming on here
to be sincere. Uh Yeah, I think I sure there's
like a handful that aren't. But like you look at
the like I said, you look at the YouTube comments
and every there's every fucking video. Someone's like, you know what,
I'm actually really smart and know everything and this is
a fake and it's like dude, you don't like you don't.
(55:52):
It's so it feels like ignorant to me to like
say that everything is fucking fake and like that you
know that it's fake. It's I feel as I don't
like it. It feels ignorant.
Speaker 6 (56:03):
Yeah, it's a weird flex.
Speaker 1 (56:04):
It's a weird flex. It's a weird flex.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
No.
Speaker 6 (56:07):
I think most comment sections that kind of have their
own vibe terrible. Like you look at the YouTube comment
section and this is completely stupid, but like in the
Reddit comment section, it's like people fighting over the dumbest
shit you've ever heard of in your life.
Speaker 1 (56:22):
Actually, okay, I want to you know what, I want
to say this real quick. Thank you for giving me
the uh the opportunity to say this. I know I
said just like two seconds ago that everyone in the
YouTube comment section is crazy. I take that back. I
take that back. A lot of people in the actually,
in the YouTube comment section, I let people are pretty cool.
It's in the it's in like the short form, like
(56:43):
the TikTok the TikTok comments section is filled with the
insane people. I will never take that back. But actually
I've I've been reading all the YouTube comments, like on
the recent podcast because I'm curious because these conversations feel
like conversations that I'm having alone, and so after I
(57:04):
have them, I'm a little part of my brain is like,
did anyone else hear that at all?
Speaker 6 (57:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Was that just a conversation? I know that they are
because I'm doing it as a fucking podcast, but I
still does it doesn't feel like. I mean, I'm the
only person in this room right now as I'm talking
to you. It feels like I'm just talking to you.
So I like going on YouTube and being like, what
do other people think about this guy? Like we had
that guy rowdy, that a kid who is obsessed with
(57:32):
his teacher, and I read, I read every single comment
that people had to say about him and his situation,
and I want, I actually really want to say this.
I felt as though a lot of the people in
the YouTube comments section, if not again, if not the majority,
like a ninety nine percent, were very thoughtful, in very kind,
(57:55):
and very well intentioned in their responses. And that made
me very you know, because I think a lot of people,
especially for that call, I think a lot of people
maybe had a reflex to criticize and focus on the
things that were negative, and I was a little worried
(58:20):
that would have I'm been worried what I you know,
I can't control what other people think and say, but uh,
I was I was pleasantly surprised that that was not
the case and that people were being thoughtful and helpful
because I was actually I was reading because in the podcast,
the kid talked about how he's gonna read he wants
to read the YouTube comments, and he was like, are
(58:43):
you gonna post us on YouTube? Because I want to
read the comments and I want to hear what other
people are saying about it. And so I was reading
the YouTube comments, imagining myself as that caller reading them,
and I was like, okay, I think nobody. I didn't
see any comments that I was like, that would be
a concerning idea to put in this dude's head, you
(59:04):
know what I mean. Like everything I read, I was
imagining him reading it, and I was like, Okay, this
is actually like seems as though it will be helpful
to this person to get these people's uh perspectives that
people came in with with good and positive perspectives. I
actually part of me was I was reading it. I
was considering making it like a segment of the podcast
(59:24):
where I would like read comments. Yeah, but I don't don't.
I don't know if I'm gonna do that. It's the
real reason I don't know if I'm gonna do that
is because it's a bunch of fucking work. And I
also I also really like I want the podcast to
be like insular, Like I want it so that you
can click on any episode and there's no like like
(59:46):
some fucking podcasts are there about like their little in there,
like they're about like their inside jokes and their community
and stuff. And I don't like that. I like the
idea that you can you can click on any episode
and you don't need any backstory or context to know
what we're talking. But I guess I don't know. Maybe
I'm I don't know who cares, who cares about anything?
Speaker 6 (01:00:05):
Yeah, I like that. Other I like the guy a lot. Yeah, ready,
scenes like like cool, but no, that's awesome. I guess
a lot of that has to do with this community,
because it's neat that a lot of people were on
their offering him some decent advice. I feel like a
lot of the times with like negative comments, it's more
on like the short form stuff. I don't really poke
around on like YouTube video comments. It's mostly like short.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, that's why I was
saying that the TikTok comments are kind of insane because
it is mainly like short form, because because you don't
you really can't get a good perspective on on something
in you know, a minute, whereas these people are are
presumably you know, I mean, they could have just been
(01:00:51):
listening for one minute and gotten gone right to the
comments section. But these people are presumably listening for a
full fucking forty minutes to this guy talk about his life,
and they're getting invested and they come to know, they
come to you know, know him as a full human
being instead of well, as as much as you can
(01:01:13):
come to know somebody as a full human being in
forty minutes. But yeah, you can do that more than
forty minutes than you can in one.
Speaker 6 (01:01:19):
So for sure there's still stuff you can relate to.
Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Do you not go on the internet?
Speaker 6 (01:01:24):
Oh no, I do. It's not as much anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
You see, you sound like a healthy individual.
Speaker 6 (01:01:32):
And yeah, I mean maybe I just I got off
of Reddit and I stopped caring about Reddit. I mean
I watched YouTube during like lunches and stuff. I keep
up with news. I'm not like entirely disconnected. I'm just
not super like socially linked in you know.
Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Yeah, I'm on Instagram, Twitter, yeah all that. Yeah. Twitter
is horrible. I hate Twitter. I hate it so much.
It's horrible. I don't post on twit Twitter anymore. I
deleted my Twitter back and you know, years ago. But
I have like I have like lurker accounts just so
I can like scroll and it's it's awful. I was
(01:02:10):
scrolling Twitter the other day on my little like burner
account that I have just to read it, and I
was like, why the fuck am I doing this every
single time I come on here.
Speaker 6 (01:02:21):
It's just.
Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Like it just makes me upset, you know, like there's
no there's a reason for me to do this. And
I was like, I was like, like I would type
therapy Gecko into the search bar like a fucking crazy
person to see if like anyone on Twitter was like
talking about me or talking about the podcast, and it
(01:02:47):
was like, what am I? This is just like a
horrible and then I and then it's like, you know,
you're like your social media programming or like your brain
just like does things fucking automatically, Like I trained my
brain to automatically do this and automatic actually scroll on Twitter,
and I was and at a certain point was it
was like snapping out of fucking brainwashing. I was like,
what the fuck am I doing? This is insane, this
(01:03:09):
is insanity.
Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
I'm dying.
Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
I'm slowly fucking dying, and I'm sitting on here like
getting mad, like getting mad on Twitter, like what am
I doing? Dude?
Speaker 6 (01:03:21):
I did this. I remember being on the toilet and
being like I can't do this anymore. I'm too angry.
The algorithms work way too well. Like I think that
everyone has at the moment where they come out of
it a little bit and they're like, I this is
this isn't working for me. This isn't healthy. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
I mean even like I don't feel I don't feel
bad playing video games anymore. I used to think maybe
video games was a waste of time. But in this car,
like in this uh timeline in twenty twenty four, if
you in this world where like your attention is kind
(01:03:59):
of being like taken away from you through like just
the brainwashing of like I'm programmed to go on Twitter
and scroll mindlessly if you can resist that and be
like intentional with how you want to waste your time,
Like there's almost something weirdly productive about that, Like I
(01:04:20):
would like spending three hours mindlessly scrolling TikTok is way
worse than spending three hours like playing a video game
or watching a movie that you're reading a book that
you intentionally chose to, you know, consume that was designed
as like art. That's not just like weird brain even
(01:04:43):
like a nice YouTube video essay or something like that.
It's not just like a weird brain rotty fucking thing.
Speaker 6 (01:04:52):
Because then you're at least being like intentionally lazy, Like
there's still soft skills you can get from, like playing
video games or reading or doing something else like the
doom scrolling. It's you don't never get anything out of it,
Like I I cannot remember what I looked at as
soon as I put my phone down from like exactly
like on TikTok or YouTube or whatever, like it just
vacates my brain immediately, it's gone.
Speaker 1 (01:05:13):
Exactly. I watched the Whale five days ago, thought about
it every day since.
Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
The whale.
Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
The whale, you know, the whale. Brandon Frasier. Yeah, the
guy's got a daughter and he's he's obese. Are you
still there?
Speaker 6 (01:05:30):
Yeah? It was good.
Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
It's crazy. It's an I saw really un It's a
really uncomfortable movie to watch, like uncomfortable. How like well,
also here's also here's an I think I'm like, like,
I don't look like the whale, but like I'm a
little overweight, and I think if you're like a little overweight,
it's more uncomfortable to watch because the guy is kind
of like wheezing and having a heart attack the entire
(01:05:55):
fucking movie, and you're it just it kind of makes
your like, like I was watching it and I felt
like I was having a heart attack vicariously through him
in the movie. It's terrifl No, it's terrible. It's not
a fun movie. It's not a fun movie to watch.
But it's it's great. It's a great movie. You should
watch it, Okay, but it's gonna be streamingly uncomfortable. I
(01:06:16):
watch that. I watched The inside Out. I thought about
that a little bit. There's it's a very it's a
really weird movie night inside Out in the Whale, But
that's that's that's what it was.
Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
Yeah, no kidding. On a side, I like super relate
to uh problem with like snack food. I went through
like an entire box of sentiments like an hour ago.
Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Oh sinmons are great, They're great.
Speaker 6 (01:06:43):
Someone brought me like an entire box box because they
like go to like food pantries. Yeah, and they were like, yeah,
well someone has left this year. I got it for
free and I'm not going to eat them. So here
you I've got seven boxes of Oh.
Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
That's not cool man, that's so that's so yeah, that's
not cool man. But I once got uh a fucking
the uh like I got I got Someone sent me
a thirty mister Beast bars. They were just sitting around
my house and that, and they weren't they weren't sitting
(01:07:17):
around for long. They were like full sized candy bars.
It was not It was not cool man. It was
not cool man. You know what I love is those
uh I go to this bodega every day and and
they always have a they have these chewy chips of
hoys with reeses And every single I go to that
(01:07:40):
badega every day for it to get like a whatever
breakfast and ship and uh, I always look might I
always make eye contact with the chewy chips of hoy races,
and every day I have to answer the question what
kind of day is today going to be? Because if
I buy those, I'm not gonna like it's not gonna
(01:08:01):
be like a grocery. It's not gonna be like I
have a few in there, like in the pantry, you know,
I have them if guests come over whatever, it's like.
If I buy them, I'm standing outside of the bodega
and eating the entire package, and then and then and
then after. If that's how your days starts, there's no
going back. You have to take Nike will and go
(01:08:21):
to sleep and start over. You there's no returning from
doing that with your morning, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (01:08:28):
Yeah, it's too much, it's vero much.
Speaker 1 (01:08:30):
It's too much. But again, you seem like a normal person.
You seem like a well adjusted man.
Speaker 6 (01:08:36):
Oh, thank you, I hope.
Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
So is there anything wrong with you?
Speaker 6 (01:08:42):
Oh? I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
That that's a really awesome response. I respect that. Well. Well, thanks,
I guess thanks for asking me these questions and letting
me talk on this thing. It's fun to talk. I get.
I get why people call in to talk on this thing.
It's fun to talk.
Speaker 6 (01:09:01):
On it is I mean, really, you're for answering it
because it was mostly just to satisfy my own curiosity.
Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
Sorry, can you say that again?
Speaker 6 (01:09:09):
You go like a good community. Oh well, thank you
for yeah answering my question.
Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
Do you have any more questions or comments or thoughts
or concerns before we go?
Speaker 6 (01:09:21):
Mm hmm I don't think so. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Well, Bob, God bless you.
Speaker 6 (01:09:28):
And remember my name.
Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
Yeah, you never do your name. I remember your name
and I never do that. I feel I feel mentally
clear today in a weird way. I feel honored as
you should be, as you should be.
Speaker 6 (01:09:44):
All right, thank you as the get bye Bob bye O.
Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
That guy's awesome. I love that guy. Hello, folks, it's
Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this,
I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an
entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen
to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over
(01:10:10):
at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get
access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free
podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from
my live shows members only streams and they help support
my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a
clip from this week's members only bonus episode.
Speaker 8 (01:10:33):
And she like turns the phone around so I can
see it, and in like the ten seconds that she's
showing me her phone, a text drops down. And you know,
I'm not like a snoopy person. I don't, but naturally,
your eyes just kind of, you know, it kind of
catches your eye. And the only thing I saw it
(01:10:53):
was that it was a guy's name.
Speaker 3 (01:10:56):
Mark.
Speaker 7 (01:10:56):
It's spilled M A R C. And that's why I
knew that it had to be the same guy, because
the spelling was the same. And so now I'm in
a situation where I found out just yesterday that I've
invited both of these people to my birthday party this weekend,
and she's going to show up and he's going to
show up unless I do something about it.
Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
So it's just like a weird thing where she's seeing
you romantically and him romantically at the same time.
Speaker 7 (01:11:22):
And we're about to be in the same house, right.
Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Okay, if you want to hear this full conversation, you
can sign up to become a Premium member at Therapy
gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in
the episode description. That's therapy gecko dot supercast dot com.
All right, I have nothing else to say again, goes
on the line, taking his own every night.
Speaker 4 (01:11:48):
Ever, goes to exact in the line.
Hello, So Hi, what is your name?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
My name's NICKI go by Nikki the Star.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Uh Niki? What's going on? How can I how can
I get you today?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm ecstatic to be gecked.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Well, it says here you wanted to talk about being
homeless by choice for the past two years.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, it's kind of been like a house hopping situation,
to be.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Honest, Okay, what's the deal.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It's like more peaceful and I kind of get to
like be wherever I want. Like I live in the
middle of nowhere in Ohio and I've gotten to like
go everywhere in Ohio in a sense.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So when you say that you are okay, so you've
been homeless by a choice. So you say that you've
been the house hopping for the past ten Yeah, what
does that mean?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
So?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I just went through my third toxic roommate.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
This one was the worst of it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I went over to his house to pick up my
staff ultimately, and he kicked the side mirror off of
my friend's car and like throwing the blatta gun and everything.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
It was before we get that what. So, So you're like,
what is house hopping mean? Like what do you do?
Whose houses are you hopping?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
It's kind of just I'm a stripper and a porn star. Okay,
like this that's my full time profession. But it's kind
of just like it's really toxic men that I shouldn't
move in with, and it's it's not great. I can't
get out of the cycle at this point.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So okay, so the homeless. So you're homeless by choice,
hopping around the houses of different guys and you're living
there for a little bit of time, and you've been
doing this for two years all over Ohio.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, No, I'm no, I don't know what Chat's saying
because I'm not.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I don't don't, I don't. I don't want to talk
about the chat. We're not. I'm not this is We're
just don't don't think about the chat, don't think about
just I'm just curious, okay, we don't think about any
of that stuff. I'm just I'm just asking, you know, So,
is that so that's what you're doing?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, Okay, how is that going?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Well, I'm homeless as of yesterday, but ultimately, like my
biggest thing is I've had the money at multiple points,
like I'm homeless, carless. I've never bought an apartment or
anything like, and I've had the money to do so,
but for some reason, it feels more comforting to do
it how I'm doing it, So I call myself like
(02:50):
nomadic by choice.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay, so you've so you've made money stripping and doing porn,
and you've made enough money that if you really want it,
so you could rent an apartment.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
But yeah, like I've had all the I've had all
the things to put my life back together, and I
really just have.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
It, Okay, And so instead you're how are you meeting
these guys that you're you're living at their houses?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I don't actually know. It's a really bad habit of
kind of moving in with strangers. I'm just like, I'm
careless in a destructive sense.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
How do you meet these strangers that you move in with?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I have like memory issues from a little brand image,
and I can't remember the stories of how I meant.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Most of them.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
But I do end up moving in like shortly after
meeting these people.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
How many different people's houses if you stayed at.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Over the passage, I think over four or five.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
It only lasts a couple of months and then I
kind of like gotta fund one.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
And are you, like, do you have stuff? Like what
do you what do you do with your stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I've lived in toads, right, I own three totes worth.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Of planes and I kind of just live like that,
all right, And what uh in these past like five
dudes houses that you've lived in, what has the experience
been like?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Well, most of them ended up really badly and me
getting kicked out in like a really traumatic manner.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Okay, So if you have the money, why do you
not get your own place?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, currently I'm on like probation and stuff, but prior
to this, I don't I'm I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I have like a weird outlook on life.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I've been through like a lot of trauma and a
lot of like changing experiences. I got really heavily into
like a lot of psychedelics for a while too, So
I feel like.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Introspective about the world.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
But like, I have a condition where I have seizures
if I get too stressed out. So in order to
like keep my seizures to a minimum, I have to
live completely stressed free. So I don't like everything about
owning a house or in a parka.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I'm going to stop you. I need to stop you
right there. Oh no, I'm sorry. Would you say your
name was again?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Nikki the Star?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
You're telling me by choice, you believe that you being
homeless and staying at the houses of strangers that you
just met is less stressful than just having your own apartments. Yeah,
I how did you come How did you come to
(05:50):
that concision?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
It's also just like I started off doing this when
I was in like a really bad position, okay, and like,
ultimately mean it's it's easier and less stressful for me
not to change my situation.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Nikki, do you do you want better for your life?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I don't know that better is like a good word, is.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
A good word. I think better is a good word
in this situation.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I'm going to be one hundred percent honest. Even in
my situation, my current situation, it's not optimal. I'm sure
nobody dreams of this life. I feel the best I've
ever felt in my life. I feel I feel honestly
fantastic about my life. Okay, I mean it's not all optimal,
(06:46):
but I mean I've been to the bottom of the
barrel because I feel like every I get to enjoy
everything else a lot more.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
The little things in life mean a whole lot more.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So tell me more why you feel like you know
these these past two years. Why do you feel why
do you feel like your life is the best it's
ever been.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I had like a whole traumatic assault case when I
was really young. I was like fourteen fifteen, and my
whole childhood I was just like sheltered this like I
turned eighteen, I got kicked out before I turned eighteen,
and this is when all of.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
This has started. But like I chose to.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Spend my adult life so far not worrying about being
an adult as much as like, okaying, like I have
a good quality in life, which I don't feel like
a lot of people can say.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
And that's what I've been working on.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Okay, my mental health and my physical health are really
bad off.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
So you're right, Yeah, No, I'm not crying. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
No I'm going to you're not That's what a great sentence. No,
I'm not crying. I'm just smoking a joint. Okay, sure,
all right, you know what, but all right, there's so
many things going on here that are interesting.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Uh, you know, what when I think, Actually, I watched
I watched all of the adults in my childhood. I'm
happy with their life because they never spent time trying
to find quality in life, and they just spent time
living life.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I I I really, Nikki, I really do feel like
you are reaching positive conclusions and then making wrong decisions
based off of those positive Because here's the thing. I'm
really I'm happy to hear that you are. It sounds
(09:03):
to me like you're just like, Oh, things were so
bad and now they're not as bad, and I'm really
grateful for that. And I think that's sick. But I
still don't understand why. By if you're telling me the truth,
and this really is by choice, that by choice, you
(09:24):
are opting to meet strange guys in ways that you
don't even remember and sleep at their houses instead of
just getting an apartment with the money, and it sounds.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Really bad for everybody.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Well, I'm not saying that I had money at the
time that I moved into their house.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I'm more so saying I'm talking.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I'm talking about today, I'm talking about I'm talking about
right now, Well.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Right now, I just got kicked out of the last
one I don't currently have money for all that because
life's been a shit show this year. But like I'm
just saying, everybody kind of looks at my life from
a distance and doesn't really understand it.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
What do you think people don't understand about your life?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Like I I nobody, nobody would do the things I
do but me and my breast friend, and we call
ourselves goblins and we just kind of like I've been
living the past two years is just like a street goblin.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, okay, what do you think people don't understand about
being a street goblin?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I do goblin shit twenty four seven. It's it's permanent
goblin time over here. Just my whole day is dedicated
to whatever the fuck flies to me, and like it's
it's always goblin shit.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So look, I think that you can kind of do
whatever you want as long as you're happy and as
long as you're safe. Do you feel like you're safe?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I do?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Can I ask you this too? Like you're like, what's
your what's your deal with your family?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
My family is not great and I have I don't know.
They just didn't like how it turned out, which I
get it. I mean I'm a stripper in porn starr
and I do like let people know this proudly. Okay,
I'm proud of my career choices and my family doesn't
vibe with strippers.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Okay, and you said you have a you have a
goblin friend. What's how do you How do you know her?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
My goblin friends?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I actually met at the strip club the first time
we ever met. She worked at a sixth store at
the time, and she had it they'll give you freezies
when you work there if they're like getting rid of stuff,
and they gave her butthole loop and she does not
do any so, so we befriended each other over butthole loop.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Okay. Do you do you have any concerns at all
about the way that you live or about or or okay,
well how about this? How about this with this? If
not any concerns about your present, do you have any
concerns for the future.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I do have concerns for the future, definitely.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Okay, what are your concerns for the future.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I don't spend too much time worrying about like what's
going to happen, because I do have some significant brain image,
like I got to focus on processing what's going on
now in this current moment. Like I don't really do
like plans or schedules or anything like that. I don't
worry horrifically about the future, but I do, like I
(12:53):
have been wondering lately if there's something else that's going
to be better one day?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Is there is there something else in.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Your getting a house like I have been in the
longing for Like I have decorations, but they've stayed in
a box for two years now, so I've never been
somewhere long enough to decorate. H Like that that sense
and like similar.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
To confidently.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Call a home definitely like gets to me.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Okay, hm hmm. Have you ever seen, like have you
seen a real therapist or a doctor to talk about
any of these things?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
So, I mean I have in the past, and it's
all been very traumatizing, But I almost like to think myself,
I'm a little delvisional, and I'll put it out there now,
but I do find myself like very therapizing.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I've got a lot going.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
On in my brain and like a lot of it's
some really serious mental stuff. But I feel like I
understand my own brain better than I could explain it
to somebody else.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay, that's ensure. That's an interesting thought. But I'm not
telling you. I'm not even saying, I guess explaining you.
Why was therapy? Was it?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Was it helpful for you?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I don't feel like so. I'm unmedicated and parawell i'd
like to call it. I don't go to therapy and
it never helped me, and medications never.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Helped me either.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Okay, I just I just smoke.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Some weed and I get on with my day.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
All right, Do you feel like you'll be Okay?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Okay, it's very retrospective. I didn't get to tell you
why I feel a little bit safer because I also
do have background in like dominatrix work.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Okay, h what the funk was? I gonna say?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Just now, there's a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I know there is sure Uh all right, I mean,
I mean I'm debating, uh how much concern? Uh this
is raising? I guess because I don't I don't know, man,
(15:31):
I don't know. But where do you? Well? I know
it's gonna ask, where are you calling me from? Right now?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
I am currently at It's it's the guy I'm sleepings
with sisters and her girlfriend's birthday today, so we're having
a seafood boil and I'm allergic to seafood.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
So okay, so you started hooking up with a guy
and it's his sister's birthday, so he brought you to
this seafood boil.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Oh yeah, I'm like there's I'm like, they're little pet.
I'm their little stripper pet. They just bring me everywhere.
I like pretty and stand in the background.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Okay, well a shit, I mean is there anything else
that you wanted to talk about in this regard? I
just I just like, look, I think it's good that
you enjoy your life. That you're enjoying going goblin mode.
(16:32):
I just would think that, like, like if you like,
even like if you're making money and you have money,
I would think if I were you, about how you
can use the money that you're making and the money
that you're saving and the money that you know, whatever
you're you know, how you can invest it, how you
can use it to gain a sense of stability so
(16:55):
that you know your God you can still goblin mode.
I actually like you can still like because to me, look,
goblin mode. Okay, I have thoughts. It took me a
little bit to come up with my thoughts. I've decided,
what do you think about this goblin mode that you
are describing? This freedom? This, I do what I want.
(17:18):
I don't care what other people think about me. I've
spent my whole life fucking whatever, bowing down to parents
or bowing down to whatever the fuck, And now I'm
gonna do what i want. I'm gonna live how I want.
My parents just did whatever they were told forever, and
I'm gonna do what i want. I'm gonna go goblin mode.
I think that's cool for real, I do, okay, But
(17:42):
I think you can have that mindset and live your
life with that mindset without being homeless. I think, and
I said this during this call. I've said this, You've
come to positive conclusions. It's just the actions that I
(18:03):
feel like some of the actions that you have taken
as a result of the positive conclusions you've comfort to
are are are wrong turns, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Like I'm not saying I disagree at all, Okay, but
it's a very delusional life that I'm.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Living, Okay, all right, I just I mean, I'm happy.
My quality of life is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
And that's great and that's great.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Get past eighteen years and that not having that great
and that's great.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
And I don't know if you believe me, but I
think you can maintain that level of happiness, if not
even increase it by choosing not to be homeless and
live with strangers that you don't remember meeting. That's that's
that's my word. You can think about it, you can
take it, or you can leave it. But that's that's
(19:01):
I guess what I have to say.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I mean, it's it's valid. I feel like I'm also
twenty and I'm not really like vibing with the idea
of being an adult at the moment. So the least
amount of adult shit I could possibly do so that
I don't wake up every day and cry is alright
with me. Like I still go to work and I
(19:24):
still like pay my bills. There's a couple that are necessary.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
But uh, well, Nikki, is there anything else you want
to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
No? I just love walking your show.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
I'm excited to see this episode.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I've been waiting forever. I was sitting there and they
were I was admiring them, tearing apart crawfishells. And then
I saw that you'd called, so I ran outside.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, take care of NICKI good luck, good luck, good luck?
Yea goblin mode. I don't know. I don't have anything
else to say that I didn't already say while I
was talking to her.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
But.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
A shit, I don't know, man. It's like, it's like
if you're a homie told you that he was good.
It's like if like, what's the story? What's that that?
Into the wild? You guys know, into the wild. It's
with that guy. Christopher McCandless was his name. I think
that's his name. It might not, that might be the
name of something that could. But there's this guy who
(20:38):
went into the woods by choice to survive off of
berries and nothing else, and in a weird way, in
a weird way, he went. He went faral mode when
christopherm you can look this up. Look up. I don't know,
people look up Into the Wild, Christopher McAndless, you were
(20:59):
a whole book. There's a movie about it. He'd by choice,
was homeless and went into the woods. I don't think
he told anyone. I don't know, I really don't remember.
But if he did, right, like if he did. If
your friend was like, Hey, I'm gonna go live in
the woods because nobody can tell me what to do,
and I'm going goblin mode, you you'd like, you'd be concerned, right,
(21:25):
he'd be concerned. But a lot of Look, a lot
of people think Christopher McCandless was awesome, and they egged
him on, and they were like, you know, this guy
is a hero. He's sick, he defied convention, and he's
he's inspired me to also exit the capitalist healthscape that
(21:47):
I live in and go live in the woods. Other
people are like, hey, you know, he did do that.
And I don't know exactly how long, but pretty soon
after he did that, he died. He super died. He
died a lot. He very much died after doing that,
(22:07):
and he I don't think he lasted that long. And
a lot of people are like, hey, you know, he died,
so it probably wasn't the greatest idea for him to
go goblin mode, which Camp was, right. I don't know.
That's a matter of personal philosophy. I suppose I will
(22:33):
not be going goblin mode anytime soon. I will be
sitting and eating chips.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Hello, Hello, Hi, gach, what.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Is your name Millie, Millie, what's going on has life?
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Well, I guess I just kind of wanted to talk
about my dad.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
H go ahead, So.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Whenever me or my brother don't talk to him for
a few days or like we're mad at him, he
will go on Facebook and say that he passed away.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
How does he say that he passed away? Does? Who
does he pose as making the post?
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Yeah, that's what we don't really know.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
So he just so like, what, what's what's your dad's name?
Or give me a fake name. What's like, what's his.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Jacob?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Okay, so Jacob goes, Jacob Frankfort. That's your fake last name.
Jacob Frankfort has died. Post by Jacob Frankfort.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Yeah. So what exactly happened was he changed his Facebook banner.
It was just like a blurry photo of nothing, and
then someone replied to it, like one of his friends,
and said are you okay? And then my dad replied
back at himself saying he passed period, And then and
(24:24):
then the friend replied who passed and then he replied
Jacob did. And like, I don't have Facebook, so I
didn't see this. So my other siblings and like my friends,
they contacted me, like have you heard from your dad?
Like what's going on? I'm like, oh God, what do
you do? Like, Oh, he's saying that he passed on Facebook?
(24:49):
And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
How many times did he fake his own.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Death on Facebook? Only the once? But he's doing it again.
So that was about a year ago and he never
really explained what that was about. And about a few
(25:15):
days ago, him and my brother have like issues that
they need to work on or whatever. My brother was
trying to have that conversation with him, and instead of
having that conversation, my dad like calls me and starts
(25:35):
going off on me, saying that we don't care that
he's dying. I'm like, what are you talking about? You're dying?
And I don't try to get him to tell me,
like what's going on?
Speaker 6 (25:51):
Like, so.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
A year ago, when he posts that he's dying, how
does he get like, like how does he get caught
that he's not dead?
Speaker 7 (26:03):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
How do you when you when you find out that he's.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Not dead, He'll just keep posting again, like nothing happens.
That's the crazy part. Like I don't see how he
doesn't see how that's insane or like how it's going
(26:26):
to affect us, you know, like we have our own
ship going on, and on top of this, we have
a dad that's one day he's perfectly fine and then
the next screaming at me on the phone saying, you
don't care that I'm dying. And I'm like, I don't know, Like,
(26:53):
are we gonna see on Facebook again?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
He so, what? What's what? It seems like you, in
general have a tumultuous relationship with your dad.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Sorry, what did you say?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It seems in general that you have a tumultuous relationship
with your dad.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
Yeah, it's I don't like I love him a lot,
but he stresses me out beyond belief. Like what's the
last night he calls me at five in the morning
and I'm asleep and he leaves me a voice smell saying,
(27:35):
well by tried. I'm like, what do you mean you try?
You called at five in the morning.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
So he's dying again?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Is he really dying? Why does he say? Why does
he say he's dying again?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
He just threatens that. I guess, Like I talked to
him very often. I keep up with him. I ask
him about his health and he always says everything's fine,
until like, either I don't talk to him for a
few days or my brother goes off on him, then
(28:19):
suddenly he's dying.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Is does your dad? Is your dad married?
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, what's going on with his wife?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
So they take care of his mom and she does
like the day shifts and he does night shifts, So
as far as he tells me, they don't really get
to spend much time together. And his wife either happily yeah,
(28:53):
I mean they're happily married.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
So this is not This is not a guy who's
just completely alone and is trying to get attention from
his kids because because he's lonely, he's happily married. Yeah,
how long has he How long has he been like
doing shit like this?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
A long time? I mean the threatening of dying I
can't even remember. Honestly, he is like he's such a
smart man, but he's so dramatic and like says the
(29:36):
craziest things, like just the other night, he was mad
that I didn't reply to him within thirty minutes and
then he texts me, you're selfish, you know what, just
don't bother. Karma seeks those who seek it, So this.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Is probably what I assume a real therapist would tell
you that your dad has no boundaries?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Uh huh?
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Have you attempted to set boundaries with your dad?
Speaker 4 (30:15):
When I do, he start screaming and saying that we
don't care about him, and like I keep saying, he
will go back to the I'm dying and you don't care?
And I'm like, is he dying?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I mean, as far as I know, no, how does
your brother deal with all this ship? How does your
brother deal with all this ship?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
He tells me that I should block him.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
And I assume that means your brother has him blocked?
Speaker 4 (30:50):
He has? I mean, I'm the only one of his
kids that he has, like an actual.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Really with how many kids does he have?
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Four? And that also don't talk to him anymore.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Okay, so you're the last one that like wants to
put up with him. Yeah, So I'm curious, and I
mean I don't. This is not a leading question in
any way, shape or form, but I'm curious. Why do
you put up with him?
Speaker 4 (31:33):
That's a good question. That's what my brother asks. Because
I love him, That's the simple answer. Like he drives
me crazy, and he says crazy, hurtful ding sometimes, but
like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
You're right, Milly. Oh yeah, okay. How much longer do
you think you can put up with them?
Speaker 4 (32:14):
I don't know. I mean, this has been happening for
a long time, Like this isn't just the only crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Well, yeah, he faked his own death twice. That's two
crazy things. Have you ever spoken to a real therapist
about this? No? Okay, you probably should, but I assume
they would tell you. Uh uh, I don't know. I
(32:45):
don't fucking know what a real therapist would say in
this situation. But fucking.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Everyone that I talked to about it, they say, don't
deal with this, you don't deserve this. But if I
I feel like if I really stop talking to him,
who knows what he would do, Like if he acts
(33:16):
like this when he doesn't get a text back in
thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yeah, but okay, you know what, Look, I'm gonna actually like, uh,
let loose on this one a little bit. How how
old is your dad.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Sixty two?
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Sixty two? Is he mentally competent? Yeah, okay, he's not.
There's not like something divergent about him.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
No, I mean he drinks a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Okay, so your dad's sixty two, So in my opinion,
and how old are you? That was in his thirties,
he decided to have a kid, And with that decision,
it's like a crazy decision to make. That was thirty
He decided to have a kid, and he kind of
(34:15):
has to take on one of the responsibilities of doing that,
which is to not consistently call your kid yelling at
her and saying heartful things, you know, And it kind
of sounds like he you know, I mean, he's he
has he shown you any remorse at all?
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yes, but.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
Like it's really passive aggressive, we're backhanded. Like I mean,
for example, when when he went off on me the
other day for no reason, started doing that I don't
care about his health and stuff. I was like, what
makes me selfish?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Like?
Speaker 4 (35:06):
What am I doing?
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Your dad is? Take your dad is? Is I'm playing?
I mean, I guess it's my job to play armchair therapist.
I guess that's what I fucking do. But to play
armchair therapist your dad sounds like he's taking all of
his problems and unleashing them upon to you and making
them your problems, which is truly a horrible thing for
(35:32):
a parent to do to their kid. I believe he.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
Had always done that too, and like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Not that's not it's a terrible fucking reason to have
a kid.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Yeah, it's really it's really frustrating because like I have
my own ship going on, I have my own life.
Like I can't answer at five in the morning, you know,
I don't know. Me and my brother thought, like after
(36:11):
we found out that he was okay, obviously, like we
thought it was pretty funny two right on your own
Facebook as yourself that you passed.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
No, no, no, it's really really funny. It's very funny.
It's very funny to do that. And then afterwards, you know,
update your fucking candy crush scores.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Uh yeah, twenty four hours later, he's posting his candy.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Crush that's funny.
Speaker 6 (36:44):
You know.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
I almost I actually jen I feel I like, for real,
I feel bad for your dad because I don't know why.
I don't know why he he he uh like that
that's kind of how I feel. Like I feel bad
for your dad because clearly he's in a lot of pain,
but he doesn't. I feel bad for you because he's
unleashing his pain upon to you, which is not a
(37:07):
cool thing for you know, a parent to do to
their kid. And I don't think you. I don't think
you're required to put up with it.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
I feel Badrahim too, and I guess that's why I
keep responding in right.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
But but you, I think you can feel bad for
him and want him to be better without taking a
loan out of the bank of your sanity. Yeah, and
I know, by the way, that's an extremely hard thing
to do. I actually have no idea, you know, like
(37:44):
this is like we're we're discussing a pretty like emotionally
distressing and complex thing that's way easy, easier, easier said
than easier said by a gecko than done. But you know,
I don't know, man, It's it's a really it's it's
it's a tough situation. I feel I I I feel
(38:08):
your stress.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Yeah, he'll spam text me late at night, Like one
second it's really sweet, like I love you so much,
you mean the world to me, and then ten minutes
later it's shame on you.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Tell you tell your dad to get help. I mean
that that's you know what, That's probably what I would
do if I was you. Unfortunately, I'm just trying to
I'm trying to put myself in your shoes is like
I would just like your your dad, like like you
(38:47):
can set up a kind of I guess, like an ultimatum,
a thing where it's like, look, you can be a
part of my life, but you gotta fucking get help, dude,
Like you gotta go, you gotta there's something going on
with you. Your brother did that exact thing.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
But yeah, a few days ago, and that's what unleashed this.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I mean, if that's you. I mean, dude, if that's
what your brother did, then the ball is in your
dad's court.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
He just doesn't reply to him, and then he calls me,
yelling at me that we don't care. It's just the
same cycle. Like so frustrating.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I I think you should tell your dad he's gotta
he's gotta get help. He's got to work on himself.
If if you're gonna talk to him, because he can't
just like because like you want he's your dad, you
clearly love him and you want him to not be insane,
But he's gotta also want himself to not be insane
(39:49):
and not just take it out on you.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Yeah, I don't sorry, I don't see how he doesn't realize,
like what he is doing is unfair and crazy.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
And he's smart, like he is. He's smart. So that's
another reason I don't understand how he could act like this.
And we're nothing but completely rational too to him. And
(40:37):
it's a good thing he deleted his Facebook, because.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
It's a good thing he deleted his Facebook. I think
Facebook was too powerful a tool for him and frank frankly,
I mean frankly, too powerful a tool for us, several
people of his age. I think I love you. You
ever go on Reddit? You ever go to r slash
insane people Facebook?
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Yeah, I've seen some stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, you know there's there's thousands and thousands of your
dad's out there also faking their own depth on a
daily basis. So I so I hope you don't feel
alone in that. H what's your name again, Millilli? Well listen,
(41:22):
Millie again. You know this is a tough situation, but
I hope you do whatever is best for you. I
know that's that's like an empty thing to say. I'm
bad at ending conversations, but I feel like we got
some good stuff out in the middle of this, you
know what I mean? Like if you judged it on
the middle, not on the end. When I said a
(41:43):
platitude to you, I think it would have been a
good I think it was a good. Do you think
was Was this a helpful conversation to you in any
way shape before?
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (41:51):
I think it was Okay, cool.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
Yeah, you kind of just said what everyone in my life.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I absolutely assume I'm not the first person to tell
you all of these things. But listen, listen. Similar to
how you can tell your dad that he needs to
do something all he wants, at the end of the day,
he's the one that's got to make the choice, and
as are you the one that has to make yours.
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4 (42:25):
If your dad ever writes on his own Facebook that
he passed away and you're not sure and it's probably not.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
True, I don't I don't know, I have no idea.
Facebook's kind of crazy. Okay, bye, Milly, bye talking to you. Yeah,
you know what this is kind of so, I kind
(42:58):
of wanted to go look at crazy face Facebook stuff.
There's still people on there. Do you know that you
ever log into Facebook? Let's see who's still on there,
it's it's pretty uh like I remember being on Facebook
in like twenty seventeen and seeing people facebook into the void.
(43:19):
You know, you know those people who are facebooking into
the void, like whoever, whoever, you whoever when you were
on Facebook in twenty seventeen, was facebooking into the void
and you were looking at them their statuses and going,
how does this person keep making these Facebook statuses for
no one? I guarantee, Like, if you have someone in
your head, I guarantee if you log into your Facebook
(43:42):
right now, they posted an hour ago and they're still
doing it. And you know what, actually, and by the way,
by the way, I don't mean to say this as
a as a dick thing, like, oh, that person's crazy.
I don't I actually don't think that person is crazy.
I fully understand why people facebook into the void. It's
(44:05):
like journaling. They're basically they're basically journaling. That's what they're doing.
They're journaling, and they're like, it kind of feels good
to take my journal and throw it into the void
just so it's there. That's what That's what it is, man.
That's why we that's why they're facebooking. We all just
want to be seen. I think I think we all
(44:26):
just want to be seen, felt, heard, understood, loved, and
that's why we publicly and that's why Farmville works, because
we just want to be seen. That's why people Facebook
into the void, that's why, that's why people fake their
own deaths. That's why if you go on in sane
(44:47):
people Facebook, it's just it's just a bunch of people
who want to be loved, which is kind of is
stupid to say, but it's I guess that's true. And
sometimes love makes you say completely insane horrible things on Facebook,
is what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (45:08):
Okay, from Hi, it was Bob out of twenty two.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Hello, Hello, what's your name?
Speaker 6 (45:19):
My name is Bob.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Well, Bob, what's going on? How can I get you today?
Speaker 6 (45:25):
Well? I actually have a question. I mean, it's just
because I'm mostly a podcast listener, but I've noticed you
don't really ever get anyone on the show that's like
super Trolley, Like there's never anyone who's called in and
been like a boobs or whatever. Then hung up. I
was kind of curious about why that was.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Well, it's interesting that you say that that nobody has
called in and gone ah Boobs whatever, because I too
thought when I first started this that there would be
a lot more people calling in and saying ah boobs yeah,
and I'll set the show. So the way, like, I
don't know how much I talk about this on the podcast,
(46:05):
but this show first started as a thing that I
would do on the Reddit Public Access Network back in
like twenty twenty. I don't know, are you familiar with
the Reddit Public Access Network?
Speaker 6 (46:17):
Yeah? I never really got like on it, but like
I knew of it.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
It never took off. It was this weird thing where
for like a year or two, maybe not even that long,
about a year, Reddit was had live streams where you
could go live and if your streams got popular, they'd
go to the front page of Reddit. And so the
way that this show first started is I was fucking
(46:40):
around as therapy Gecko taking phone calls on Reddit. And
when I was doing that, that was a lot that
was like my streams would go to the front page.
So I'd have like forty two thousand concurrent viewers watching
the show, and like almost all of them had no
(47:03):
idea who I was, or cared or anything like that,
and so I was definitely getting fucked with a lot more.
Back when I was doing that, other people would call
in and just like try to you know, be an asshole.
But true. But even dude, even back then, truly, I
(47:28):
was astounded at how little that would happen, even back then,
Like surely maybe like once a month someone would call
in just to you know, say something bad and hang up.
But I thought it was gonna happen every single time
I went live. To be honest, I thought I was
gonna be my stream was just gonna get kind of vandalized.
(47:52):
People kept telling me that, They're like, I would never
put up a phone number because someone's gonna say something
and I'm gonna get banned from Twitch, And I'm like,
I don't people, that doesn't really happen. And even when
it would happen, I wouldn't make it a big fucking deal.
I wouldn't be like, I wouldn't stop the stream and
be like I do not condone. I would just I
would just be like, that was stupid, Okay, let's move on,
you know, because that's what they want you to do.
(48:13):
They want you to get pissed off and make a
whole big deal out of it because they want attentions.
I mean, that's really it. But dude, for real, I
am very pleasantly surprised that like ninety nine point nine
nine percent of people that I have spoken to the
(48:37):
thousands of fucking phone calls I've taken since do it
on the Reddit streams and the twitch streams and the
podcast all stuff. Genuine people for real, like genuine cool.
They just want to talk. Or if they are being
trolley or saying boobs or whatever, it's not out of
any malice. Maybe it's just because they're nervous so they
(48:57):
don't know what to say, or they were trying to
be funny. Like nobody. I don't think anyone's really come
on here with true, honest to god negative malice. And
if they ever did, it was, you know, three out
of a thousands, which is kind of crazy to me.
It's kind of crazy to me. It's funny. I've thought
(49:17):
about this before. Of all the people that I meet
doing this, whether it's on the phone or in person, again,
like pleasant interactions, extremely pleasant interactions over the phone and
in person when I do my live shows, Like, I
really don't have any bad experiences meeting talking to any
(49:41):
of these people on the phone or in person. It's
mainly like on the comments section of things and in
the chats, you know what I mean, where people are
just going insane, you know. I mean even I'll say
that the twitch chat is cool. The twitch chat it
does not. But still it's like, it's so funny to
me because I'll look at the Instagram comments of like
(50:03):
a clip of some kind that I've posted, and you know,
everyone is like people are getting into crazy fights and
just acting like lunatics. And then I meet these same
people in person and everyone's awesome. I don't, I know,
it's funny, but and they're the same fucking people. You know,
it's crazy.
Speaker 6 (50:23):
Yeah, that's what I was curious about, because like that
it sounds like I'm setting up for a bit, But
I promise you I'm not like do it.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
I don't even wonder, No, I.
Speaker 6 (50:31):
Re seriously would have a bit. I was just curious
because like, I primarily listen to the podcast, and then
I had that thought. So then I start watching more
streams and I'm still like, the ratio here is insane
because I haven't ever seen anyone call in and do
anything stupid, like I think most shows that are calling
have those kinds of people and it just seems like
yours doesn't just nuts.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Yeah, and I you know, I'm very also I'm also
very happy with like the size of my show. I'm
not like, like if whatever x QC or someone like
that open to their line to phone calls, I'm sure
that would happen a lot, but uh I I really
I'm at a fantastic perfect size of audience where the
(51:14):
people who listen are just like I mean, that's the dream,
right is You're you're popular enough that the only people
who like know about you are people who are like,
you know, actually like give a fuck about what you're doing,
and not like, you know, people who not not not
being like someone someone crazy internet famous who people just
kind of will well, we'll want to fuck with just
(51:37):
because it's funny. Yeah, Like I'm surprised, I'm I'm really
surprised that a bunch of like fourteen year olds into
discord chat have not been like, hey, let's go say
a bunch of horrible racist things on the Therapy Geckos stream.
You know, like that's that's happened. That's happened way way
way less than I thought it would. Sorry, what did
(52:02):
you say?
Speaker 6 (52:03):
That's why I'm like, I wonder if maybe I've just
like missed it or because for whatever reason, like maybe
it's that it is happening on the show and it's
just cut out of the cast. But no, I guess not.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
No.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
I mean I cut a lot of phone calls off
of the twitch stream before I put it into the podcast,
but nothing like with malicious intent. Part of me wonders
if because I'm probably gonna put this conversation on the podcast,
and part of me wonders if we're jinxing it a
little bit, But I don't think so. I don't even think.
I don't think that this is going to jinx it.
(52:36):
I don't.
Speaker 6 (52:38):
I was hoping that like by calling it and asking
I wouldn't make it worse, because I'm sure that people
have the same thought.
Speaker 1 (52:50):
Well, I mean, that's the thing is that the people
like I think that the people who would want to
just like call in and vandalize the stream are the
people who they're not. They left, They left a long
time ago because they didn't actually give a fuck about
like being here and listening to any of this. So
it kind of makes sense when you think about it
(53:10):
like that, have.
Speaker 6 (53:12):
There been any calls that you have that have been
super long. When did maybe you thought were with somebody
pulling your leg, because there's been a couple where I've
been like I feel like that was an act.
Speaker 1 (53:24):
Uh yeah, sure, yeah, definitely hundred percent, one hundred percent.
You know, you know what I'm gonna say this, and
this is uh uh do you?
Speaker 6 (53:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Fuck it? So the you remember a caller who talked
about jizzing on pizzas.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
Yes, that was the one I thought of, Like that
was okay.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
So like like a few days after I put that
out or whatever or had the call, and I went
on discord and I was just like browsing my discord
and I saw a guy in the cord. It'd be like, hey,
that was I was just that was me who was
(54:04):
talking about that. I was just pulling the prank. And
I was like and no, I didn't know. It wasn't
even funny. I was like, don't do that, man, I
hate that.
Speaker 6 (54:13):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (54:14):
No.
Speaker 6 (54:15):
The one is the I think there was this lady
who like thought she was like fucking of aliens or something.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
Yeah, yeah, sure, the lady who I remember you're talking
about the lady who thought that she who she was
she was like a high she claims to be a
high ranking government official who gets abducted by aliens regularly.
I okay that I know exactly what you're talking about.
I think okay. The question of okay that one, I
(54:43):
think I would say confidently whoever I was speaking with
on the phone believed what they were saying to be true.
Speaker 6 (54:54):
Yeah, it was hard. It was a toss up for me.
Like part of me was like, this person is either
it's possibly mentally ill, foot pulling a break, but either way, like,
I think you handled it really well.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
Well thanks, Also because I don't I think it's not
fun to constantly be like this is fake and stupid.
I I really someone was asking about this thing. I
really believe, like from sitting in the driver's seat of
this thing. My perspective is that the majority, you know,
(55:28):
most people are telling the truth and coming on here
to be sincere. Uh Yeah, I think I sure there's
like a handful that aren't. But like you look at
the like I said, you look at the YouTube comments
and every there's every fucking video. Someone's like, you know what,
I'm actually really smart and know everything and this is
a fake and it's like dude, you don't like you don't.
(55:52):
It's so it feels like ignorant to me to like
say that everything is fucking fake and like that you
know that it's fake. It's I feel as I don't
like it. It feels ignorant.
Speaker 6 (56:03):
Yeah, it's a weird flex.
Speaker 1 (56:04):
It's a weird flex. It's a weird flex.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
No.
Speaker 6 (56:07):
I think most comment sections that kind of have their
own vibe terrible. Like you look at the YouTube comment
section and this is completely stupid, but like in the
Reddit comment section, it's like people fighting over the dumbest
shit you've ever heard of in your life.
Speaker 1 (56:22):
Actually, okay, I want to you know what, I want
to say this real quick. Thank you for giving me
the uh the opportunity to say this. I know I
said just like two seconds ago that everyone in the
YouTube comment section is crazy. I take that back. I
take that back. A lot of people in the actually,
in the YouTube comment section, I let people are pretty cool.
It's in the it's in like the short form, like
(56:43):
the TikTok the TikTok comments section is filled with the
insane people. I will never take that back. But actually
I've I've been reading all the YouTube comments, like on
the recent podcast because I'm curious because these conversations feel
like conversations that I'm having alone, and so after I
(57:04):
have them, I'm a little part of my brain is like,
did anyone else hear that at all?
Speaker 6 (57:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Was that just a conversation? I know that they are
because I'm doing it as a fucking podcast, but I
still does it doesn't feel like. I mean, I'm the
only person in this room right now as I'm talking
to you. It feels like I'm just talking to you.
So I like going on YouTube and being like, what
do other people think about this guy? Like we had
that guy rowdy, that a kid who is obsessed with
(57:32):
his teacher, and I read, I read every single comment
that people had to say about him and his situation,
and I want, I actually really want to say this.
I felt as though a lot of the people in
the YouTube comments section, if not again, if not the majority,
like a ninety nine percent, were very thoughtful, in very kind,
(57:55):
and very well intentioned in their responses. And that made
me very you know, because I think a lot of people,
especially for that call, I think a lot of people
maybe had a reflex to criticize and focus on the
things that were negative, and I was a little worried
(58:20):
that would have I'm been worried what I you know,
I can't control what other people think and say, but uh,
I was I was pleasantly surprised that that was not
the case and that people were being thoughtful and helpful
because I was actually I was reading because in the podcast,
the kid talked about how he's gonna read he wants
to read the YouTube comments, and he was like, are
(58:43):
you gonna post us on YouTube? Because I want to
read the comments and I want to hear what other
people are saying about it. And so I was reading
the YouTube comments, imagining myself as that caller reading them,
and I was like, okay, I think nobody. I didn't
see any comments that I was like, that would be
a concerning idea to put in this dude's head, you
(59:04):
know what I mean. Like everything I read, I was
imagining him reading it, and I was like, Okay, this
is actually like seems as though it will be helpful
to this person to get these people's uh perspectives that
people came in with with good and positive perspectives. I
actually part of me was I was reading it. I
was considering making it like a segment of the podcast
(59:24):
where I would like read comments. Yeah, but I don't don't.
I don't know if I'm gonna do that. It's the
real reason I don't know if I'm gonna do that
is because it's a bunch of fucking work. And I
also I also really like I want the podcast to
be like insular, Like I want it so that you
can click on any episode and there's no like like
(59:46):
some fucking podcasts are there about like their little in there,
like they're about like their inside jokes and their community
and stuff. And I don't like that. I like the
idea that you can you can click on any episode
and you don't need any backstory or context to know
what we're talking. But I guess I don't know. Maybe
I'm I don't know who cares, who cares about anything?
Speaker 6 (01:00:05):
Yeah, I like that. Other I like the guy a lot. Yeah, ready,
scenes like like cool, but no, that's awesome. I guess
a lot of that has to do with this community,
because it's neat that a lot of people were on
their offering him some decent advice. I feel like a
lot of the times with like negative comments, it's more
on like the short form stuff. I don't really poke
around on like YouTube video comments. It's mostly like short.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, that's why I was
saying that the TikTok comments are kind of insane because
it is mainly like short form, because because you don't
you really can't get a good perspective on on something
in you know, a minute, whereas these people are are
presumably you know, I mean, they could have just been
(01:00:51):
listening for one minute and gotten gone right to the
comments section. But these people are presumably listening for a
full fucking forty minutes to this guy talk about his life,
and they're getting invested and they come to know, they
come to you know, know him as a full human
being instead of well, as as much as you can
(01:01:13):
come to know somebody as a full human being in
forty minutes. But yeah, you can do that more than
forty minutes than you can in one.
Speaker 6 (01:01:19):
So for sure there's still stuff you can relate to.
Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Do you not go on the internet?
Speaker 6 (01:01:24):
Oh no, I do. It's not as much anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
You see, you sound like a healthy individual.
Speaker 6 (01:01:32):
And yeah, I mean maybe I just I got off
of Reddit and I stopped caring about Reddit. I mean
I watched YouTube during like lunches and stuff. I keep
up with news. I'm not like entirely disconnected. I'm just
not super like socially linked in you know.
Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Yeah, I'm on Instagram, Twitter, yeah all that. Yeah. Twitter
is horrible. I hate Twitter. I hate it so much.
It's horrible. I don't post on twit Twitter anymore. I
deleted my Twitter back and you know, years ago. But
I have like I have like lurker accounts just so
I can like scroll and it's it's awful. I was
(01:02:10):
scrolling Twitter the other day on my little like burner
account that I have just to read it, and I
was like, why the fuck am I doing this every
single time I come on here.
Speaker 6 (01:02:21):
It's just.
Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Like it just makes me upset, you know, like there's
no there's a reason for me to do this. And
I was like, I was like, like I would type
therapy Gecko into the search bar like a fucking crazy
person to see if like anyone on Twitter was like
talking about me or talking about the podcast, and it
(01:02:47):
was like, what am I? This is just like a
horrible and then I and then it's like, you know,
you're like your social media programming or like your brain
just like does things fucking automatically, Like I trained my
brain to automatically do this and automatic actually scroll on Twitter,
and I was and at a certain point was it
was like snapping out of fucking brainwashing. I was like,
what the fuck am I doing? This is insane, this
(01:03:09):
is insanity.
Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
I'm dying.
Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
I'm slowly fucking dying, and I'm sitting on here like
getting mad, like getting mad on Twitter, like what am
I doing? Dude?
Speaker 6 (01:03:21):
I did this. I remember being on the toilet and
being like I can't do this anymore. I'm too angry.
The algorithms work way too well. Like I think that
everyone has at the moment where they come out of
it a little bit and they're like, I this is
this isn't working for me. This isn't healthy. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
I mean even like I don't feel I don't feel
bad playing video games anymore. I used to think maybe
video games was a waste of time. But in this car,
like in this uh timeline in twenty twenty four, if
you in this world where like your attention is kind
(01:03:59):
of being like taken away from you through like just
the brainwashing of like I'm programmed to go on Twitter
and scroll mindlessly if you can resist that and be
like intentional with how you want to waste your time,
Like there's almost something weirdly productive about that, Like I
(01:04:20):
would like spending three hours mindlessly scrolling TikTok is way
worse than spending three hours like playing a video game
or watching a movie that you're reading a book that
you intentionally chose to, you know, consume that was designed
as like art. That's not just like weird brain even
(01:04:43):
like a nice YouTube video essay or something like that.
It's not just like a weird brain rotty fucking thing.
Speaker 6 (01:04:52):
Because then you're at least being like intentionally lazy, Like
there's still soft skills you can get from, like playing
video games or reading or doing something else like the
doom scrolling. It's you don't never get anything out of it,
Like I I cannot remember what I looked at as
soon as I put my phone down from like exactly
like on TikTok or YouTube or whatever, like it just
vacates my brain immediately, it's gone.
Speaker 1 (01:05:13):
Exactly. I watched the Whale five days ago, thought about
it every day since.
Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
The whale.
Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
The whale, you know, the whale. Brandon Frasier. Yeah, the
guy's got a daughter and he's he's obese. Are you
still there?
Speaker 6 (01:05:30):
Yeah? It was good.
Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
It's crazy. It's an I saw really un It's a
really uncomfortable movie to watch, like uncomfortable. How like well,
also here's also here's an I think I'm like, like,
I don't look like the whale, but like I'm a
little overweight, and I think if you're like a little overweight,
it's more uncomfortable to watch because the guy is kind
of like wheezing and having a heart attack the entire
(01:05:55):
fucking movie, and you're it just it kind of makes
your like, like I was watching it and I felt
like I was having a heart attack vicariously through him
in the movie. It's terrifl No, it's terrible. It's not
a fun movie. It's not a fun movie to watch.
But it's it's great. It's a great movie. You should
watch it, Okay, but it's gonna be streamingly uncomfortable. I
(01:06:16):
watch that. I watched The inside Out. I thought about
that a little bit. There's it's a very it's a
really weird movie night inside Out in the Whale, But
that's that's that's what it was.
Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
Yeah, no kidding. On a side, I like super relate
to uh problem with like snack food. I went through
like an entire box of sentiments like an hour ago.
Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Oh sinmons are great, They're great.
Speaker 6 (01:06:43):
Someone brought me like an entire box box because they
like go to like food pantries. Yeah, and they were like, yeah,
well someone has left this year. I got it for
free and I'm not going to eat them. So here
you I've got seven boxes of Oh.
Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
That's not cool man, that's so that's so yeah, that's
not cool man. But I once got uh a fucking
the uh like I got I got Someone sent me
a thirty mister Beast bars. They were just sitting around
my house and that, and they weren't they weren't sitting
(01:07:17):
around for long. They were like full sized candy bars.
It was not It was not cool man. It was
not cool man. You know what I love is those
uh I go to this bodega every day and and
they always have a they have these chewy chips of
hoys with reeses And every single I go to that
(01:07:40):
badega every day for it to get like a whatever
breakfast and ship and uh, I always look might I
always make eye contact with the chewy chips of hoy races,
and every day I have to answer the question what
kind of day is today going to be? Because if
I buy those, I'm not gonna like it's not gonna
(01:08:01):
be like a grocery. It's not gonna be like I
have a few in there, like in the pantry, you know,
I have them if guests come over whatever, it's like.
If I buy them, I'm standing outside of the bodega
and eating the entire package, and then and then and
then after. If that's how your days starts, there's no
going back. You have to take Nike will and go
(01:08:21):
to sleep and start over. You there's no returning from
doing that with your morning, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (01:08:28):
Yeah, it's too much, it's vero much.
Speaker 1 (01:08:30):
It's too much. But again, you seem like a normal person.
You seem like a well adjusted man.
Speaker 6 (01:08:36):
Oh, thank you, I hope.
Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
So is there anything wrong with you?
Speaker 6 (01:08:42):
Oh? I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
That that's a really awesome response. I respect that. Well. Well, thanks,
I guess thanks for asking me these questions and letting
me talk on this thing. It's fun to talk. I get.
I get why people call in to talk on this thing.
It's fun to talk.
Speaker 6 (01:09:01):
On it is I mean, really, you're for answering it
because it was mostly just to satisfy my own curiosity.
Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
Sorry, can you say that again?
Speaker 6 (01:09:09):
You go like a good community. Oh well, thank you
for yeah answering my question.
Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
Do you have any more questions or comments or thoughts
or concerns before we go?
Speaker 6 (01:09:21):
Mm hmm I don't think so. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Well, Bob, God bless you.
Speaker 6 (01:09:28):
And remember my name.
Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
Yeah, you never do your name. I remember your name
and I never do that. I feel I feel mentally
clear today in a weird way. I feel honored as
you should be, as you should be.
Speaker 6 (01:09:44):
All right, thank you as the get bye Bob bye O.
Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
That guy's awesome. I love that guy. Hello, folks, it's
Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this,
I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an
entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen
to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over
(01:10:10):
at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get
access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free
podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from
my live shows members only streams and they help support
my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a
clip from this week's members only bonus episode.
Speaker 8 (01:10:33):
And she like turns the phone around so I can
see it, and in like the ten seconds that she's
showing me her phone, a text drops down. And you know,
I'm not like a snoopy person. I don't, but naturally,
your eyes just kind of, you know, it kind of
catches your eye. And the only thing I saw it
(01:10:53):
was that it was a guy's name.
Speaker 3 (01:10:56):
Mark.
Speaker 7 (01:10:56):
It's spilled M A R C. And that's why I
knew that it had to be the same guy, because
the spelling was the same. And so now I'm in
a situation where I found out just yesterday that I've
invited both of these people to my birthday party this weekend,
and she's going to show up and he's going to
show up unless I do something about it.
Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
So it's just like a weird thing where she's seeing
you romantically and him romantically at the same time.
Speaker 7 (01:11:22):
And we're about to be in the same house, right.
Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Okay, if you want to hear this full conversation, you
can sign up to become a Premium member at Therapy
gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in
the episode description. That's therapy gecko dot supercast dot com.
All right, I have nothing else to say again, goes
on the line, taking his own every night.
Speaker 4 (01:11:48):
Ever, goes to exact in the line.
Host
Lyle Drescher
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