December 3, 2025 • 67 mins
A caller's relationship is strained by her dad overstaying his welcome in the basement, a caller falls in love and spends 5 days with a beautiful homeless man, and a final caller explains how she became a self proclaimed “veteran slut bag."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, is this the therapy kick?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Yes? Hi, who is this?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Oh my goodness, I go by priestess.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Priestess, what's going on, priestess? How's life?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Ah? Well, life, it's amazing, but also as it goes,
there's always craziness going on.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You texted me and you said that my dad has
become my basement dweller, and the husband is pissed.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yes, essentially, unfortunately, my dad faced a situation where he
lost his home and in a three day notice, I
ended up moving him into our house and unfortunately and
unfinished basement, just because he had nowhere else to go.
(00:52):
And the husband is it's been three months and he's
a really get impatient as far as you know, get
more space back. And we also have a roommate that
we were in a room too, in one bathroom, so
kind of a tricky situation.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Mm hmm. How long has he been there for? You said.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
About three months? And where I'm struggling and why I
joke and like affectionately like I love my dad. There
has been many many years of like he was my
best friend for a lot of it. I had divorced
parents and that always creates a tricky situation. There's been
(01:42):
some good times, but there's also been some really low
low especially between me and my dad. So it's been
like tough for me. My husband is definitely pissed, but
it's been a little tough for me and sometimes triggering
because like, you know, I guess I've forgiven him my
dad for some things, and I sincerely do want to
help him, but at the same time, I feel like
(02:02):
some things aren't being respected, like it's like, you know,
it's my space, so that they're that weird dynamic of yeah,
like trying to deal with that and like wanting to
help him also not because he's kind of not in
like I don't think he's really left even his house
much for ten years, and trying to tell somebody because
(02:23):
he was a caretaker for my grandma, and trying to
tell somebody like, oh, yeah, I know you, you know, you're
not used to just being in society and stuff much,
but like you gotta get a job and figure stuff out.
Like I've tried helping him by helping him jobs. They're
just trying to help him get medical stuff, trying to
(02:44):
do things in like a nice way, and that doesn't
seem to help. So I'm kind of stuck in a
tough place because I understand, like it's got to be
like I just had a baby same time he moved
in pretty much or first, and like, uh, it's it's
like I want to help, but also boundaries and I
(03:06):
got to put my husband and my baby first.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Mm hmm does he So what has he been doing that? Like?
Is uh is disrespecting the boundaries?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, like, uh, there was an instance of you know,
some things that are out of place or not done
a certain way that the husband likes, and you know,
I try to communicate it to the husband or to
my father and he kind of gets this attitude of like,
oh we did just talking to me himself and like
(03:39):
you know, he's being a bitch or something. I'm like, WHOA,
first of all, don't even say that, like I want
to like chicken myriad. Then when he said something like that,
but you know, or or just like some things in
the past have come up, like I just want to
start off with like the reason I give my dad
she and stuff, it's because he has built the foundation
(04:01):
in me as a person to be a strong person
and loving towards people and things. But like on the
other side, sometimes I suspect maybe he's like got something
like not to diagnose or anything, but like bipolar or
something going on. Yeah, And because on the other side,
like you know, when I was living with my grandma
(04:23):
and him, like it got so bad that I couldn't
even be in my house because, yeah, I would be
late from work and he would suspect that I was
hanging out with friends or a guy that he thought
I was dating at the time, which was just a
friend I wasn't dating and wasn't and so like I'd
come home to my shit torn up and like being
called you know words, which it was pretty bad. It
(04:48):
got like that's the toxic part of and so he
like where I feel disrespected? Is it came up once
he said, well I had to do that to get
you out of the house. And I'm like, like I
had to be just like, okay, you need to leave
my space because I'm about to go off on you
because that like you could just tell me to move out.
You didn't need to do all that.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Mm hmm Okay, So like do you confront him about
this stuff? Do you say, like, hey, you can't be
doing this ship you gotta if you're gonna stay with me.
You gotta do X, Y and Z.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yes. I I well, I should say I should. I
try to, but I feel like I get talked at
and interrupted, like I never get a chance to just
sit down and actually say it, you know, or like
maybe like even when I do get moments of being
able to say it, it's like I'm being listened to to. Like,
(05:47):
of course he's gonna be defensive. I mean, he wouldn't
be when somebody's coming at you like that to where
it's it's not getting received, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, so he's not receiving it at all, or he's
like yelling at you.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Right exactly, and like, so I don't. I mean, I
know what everyone's gonna say. I know it's like just
kick him out for everything, but it's I just I
don't feel right about it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I get it, I get it. I know, I get it.
I mean I'm not gonna well, of course, listen. Of
course it's easy to say just kick him out. Of
course it's easy to say it's just kick him out.
But it's easy for me to say and for everyone
else to say because it's not our fucking dad. You know,
it's almost like it's like, well, if you're in an
abusive relationship or something, why not just leave, you know.
(06:40):
And it's like, well, there's so much like emotional quotent
behind the logistics of it, and the emotions of it
are a lot more murky. But to continue with logistics,
I suppose I mean, how old is your dad?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
He just turned fifty five, okay?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
And does he work?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Is he disabled.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
In it? Yes? Actually in some ways not fully, but
like his back and Necker feels so bad that like
he can't even turn his next sort of thing, yes,
and like his eyesight, like that's another thing, is like
diabetes is really bad and things are going on, but
(07:34):
he's also where it's making it hard. It's he's very
much not wanting to go to doctors because it feels
like he can't trust them. They just want to pump
them full drugs, which I agree with him to some points,
but it gets to a point where like, oh, well,
you didn't make the healthy choices you needed to prevent
it from becoming worse, you know, and now you put
your spot on yourself in the spot where it's either
(07:55):
medicine or like literally lose some lens man like. And
so I mean he is working towards getting possibly help
with that stuff, but only because I really really pushed
it or I have to like initiate. H.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You know, is he is he? Do we know if
he's eligible to receive any kind of government assistance? Like?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Is he?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
That? Is it that bad?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
That's what we're looking into. I don't know. I mean
I think it is, because I mean the man like
he's at eight out of ten pain all the time,
you know, And so yeah, I'm looking into that. But
I'm also like trying to look into jobs where it
would be low impact, because it's not not only just
job for money and supporting yourself, but there's some mental
(08:47):
aspect too, you know, if you want accomplished, getting your
confidence back and a purpose and being around people again.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Of course, yeah, you know, I I know. I guess
the reason why I go to government stuff first is
because it's like what's your name again? I'm sorry, I
fucking suck with names, no worries priestess, priestess. H Well,
because priestess, here's the thing. Uh, you know, it's great
that your dad has done so much for you and
(09:16):
you're a clear you are clearly a really sweet, caring
person and your family is important to you. But also
like you have your own life, like you have a
fucking you just had a fucking kid. Is it your
first kid? Yes, like you just had your first kid,
you know what I mean. And I'm sure that's the
(09:36):
pain in the Like you have your own life, you
have your own things to tend to. And I understand
that you care a lot about your dad and it's
not and it's totally not as easy as just kick
him out, but like, uh, it's really fucking hard, but
your dad has to be like your dad's gottah at
(09:57):
least like respect you. You know, he's got a least
give you something because if he's just gonna like be
the tyrant ruler of the house, like he just can't
fucking do that. I mean, it's a it's a it's
a it's a disrespect to to you. It's a respect
to your fucking kid that he's taken away attention from
(10:17):
because you got you got to be there for your kid,
but instead you're worrying about your dad.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And you're a nice person. But also also you you
have you have you have a fine night amount of
time and energy and whatever, and so you know, I
it's not easy, but it's some At a certain point
you gotta be like, Dad, listen to you. Either you
have to like like you gotta do something, or else
(10:42):
you have to like there's got to be something or
else he's just gonna keep fucking walking all over you.
And you know, for the sake of your kid and everything,
he just can't let that happen. I know it's hard.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, it's it is hard because there there is also
like the piece of I do work from home, and like,
you know sometimes because I'm going for trying not to
have to get childcare because it's stuff like two thousand
a month. It's insane and we just can't like deal
with the morganize things. Really can't swing that. But you
(11:21):
know it's helpful sometimes like that he can watch her
like and like the the other piece of it is too,
Like I mentioned, my husband Bret pissed and I'm really
trying to work.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, what's your husband's deal? What's he said? He's pissed off?
What's he what's he have to say? What are his
like solutions or thoughts?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, well, his his solution is out on the street.
But that it's not stemming necessarily from the like just
being here. It's more so for him as there's he's
holding a lot onto some paths because like while we
were dating and stuff, he I was I think there
was a two year time I wasn't speaking to my
(12:06):
dad and during the time we were dating, I was
trying to reconnect with my dad because my grandma had
passed away, and like it was a lot of phone
calls of me on the phone getting screamed at and
then like like crying for an hour afterward.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
And my husband was the one that had to see
the one holding together.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, your husband, Your husband watched you you your husband
watched you attempt to get back your Your husband watched
you attempt to rebuild your relationship with your dad. Uh,
and he watched your dad scream at you and make
you cry.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, so he holds a lot.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Of that, Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
And then which understandably, I love him for that, I
really do, And I just I was like, can you
try to please forget him for that, because I understand
you're not wrong in feeling that way, but you got
to understand somebody is not functioning from a healthy place.
And at the time I took that stuff, because you know,
like he was very much my father in the mind
(13:14):
frame of like I don't even want to live his
life anymore. So for me, it felt like a battle
of just fighting for his life, you know, which doesn't
make it okay. I didn't deserve it. I recognize all that,
but you know, I've been a shitty person times in
my life, and and it sometimes it just takes people
being there in your low lows, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
But at a and I get that, right, but also
at a certain point, it's like you it's you're it's
very kind of you again to offer your dad this forgiveness,
but you have, but he has to, like he's got
to do something to right can continue to be in
(14:01):
your life, you know, because if he's not, he's got
to hold up here. You're you're you're struggling so hard.
You're like like you're given so much, priestess, Like you're
just giving so much. And if he's giving and he
can't just give you nothing. He can't just give you
(14:22):
nothing and then blame it on whatever he's gonna blame
it on. He just can't. He can't give you nothing.
That's why your husband hates him, is because he's watching
you because if you're because if your dad, if your
dad was in like my name is Earl Mode or whatever,
and he's brought brought you a fucking fruit basket and
(14:44):
he's like, hey, I'm sorry. I know I was a
dick in the past, and I I really I want
to get back into the good graces of you and
your family. I want to be there with my grandson.
I want to be there with your husband, and I
want to do this and that, and I thank you
so fucking thanking you every fucking day for letting you, uh,
(15:05):
letting him live in your house and being like I
have a plant, like it like that because it's you.
That's why you're your husband's having a hard time forgiving
him is because he's not like for because he's your dad.
Your dad's like, from what you're telling me, your dad's
not even asking for forgiveness. He's just continuing, you know
what I mean. So it's like, how can you even
(15:26):
give forgiveness that he's not even asking for And by
the way, this all sucks. I'm really sorry to hear that.
There's no like great amazing advice or solution that doesn't
make any of this uh, suck a lot and be
really hard, but I just at a certain point, you
(15:48):
got to figure out where your uh where your limits are,
you know. And I don't know if that means throwing
him out on the street necessarily, but uh, you know something,
I mean, what what what's out there? Right? Like, I
don't you know is he eligible for government assistants? And
you're like, well, I want him to have a job
(16:10):
and have all this, you know, actually kind of get
back himself out there, and well, well, he has to
want to fucking do that, you know. And if he
wants to fuck he has to want to do that,
he has to want to improve his life. And you
can't make him want to improve his life then, and
you also can't and also you've got to be there
(16:31):
for yourself and your kid and your hut, and like
you got to be there for your life, and you
only have and you you we only have enough energy
for like so much, you know, and you your energy.
I don't think it can continue to expand outside of
your own life at this point. And I know that's
(16:55):
really hard, but I hope, I hope it gives you
something to think about.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Least it does.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I I appreciate it. I try to operate humbly as
a person, and like I don't, I don't stay in
the mind frame of I'm giving so much. I mean,
I am a personal faith. So for me, it's like, well,
it's not mine to begin with, but it's I guess
it helps. You're making me realize, like especially the energy spending,
(17:22):
because it's true, like a lot of my joy and
things were robbed in the process of being pregnant and stuff,
just because I was worried about him becoming homeless.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And you said, you said it wasn't yours to begin with.
Is that like, I've been endowed by God with all
that I am and it was never mine to begin with.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, in the sense of like like for me, I
grew up in poverty with my new worst parents, and
you know, I tried some college because there was a
program where, like your last two years of high school,
you can go into college early. And I just didn't
(18:05):
know exactly what I was wanting to do with my life.
I was going to family law that there was a
little bit of passion there because of what I dealt
with growing up. But yeah, I just kind of fell
off and just went out lived my life and unfortunately
I had a really bad accident at my work where
(18:29):
I basically fell head first at least ten feet and
like woke up, couldn't like I don't remember anything. I
couldn't even be in a room with lights or sound
or I am lucky I didn't die. And so like
I used to be an incredibly high functioning person and
(18:54):
like now I really struggle with a lot of things
like just stopping this or or what have you. But like,
despite my struggles, I still have work because like I
could have probably gone disability, but I didn't want to,
Like I rather if I can offer something, you know,
I wanted to be, you know, be able to support
(19:16):
myself and not be limited in any way as possible.
And thankfully I have a very wonderful workplace that allows
that in flexibility for me. And despite my shortcomings, I
somehow have made it into a pretty good position. And
like the level of my life, my husband and my
(19:36):
house was a whole miracle in itself. How that was
obtained because by no means with what we make should
we have any business being owners. But you know, it's
it also in place in ways where I'm just like
and I personally have experience where I like, I know
God is true to where like spiritual experiences and it's
(19:56):
just like I've that's where I'm operating from. Is I'm
and there's none of what I have I obtained myself.
You know, I've been blessed.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Sure, sure, I understand what you mean, but I understand
what you I understand what you mean when you say
that nothing that you have you achieved on your I
understand where you draw that conclusion. And I feel that way,
that's a very because I've I've lost myself in a
lot of like deterministic things and that of like so
(20:29):
I don't know why I am the way I am,
and like very like existential shit that gets you to
that point of like feeling like everything you had was
not yours. I'm gonna say this, it makes sense that
you're a woman of faith because the way in which
you operate strikes me as very christ like. But here's
(20:54):
the problem is that being Jesus sucks. I mean, yeah,
being Jesus uh sucks ass. I mean he has to
carry a giant thing for one thousand miles and then
they nail him to the cross and he just sits
(21:14):
there and dies for you know, for what you know? Well,
I I don't know the f I've never read the Bible.
But being I do know that being Jesus sucks. And
I just want you to know something. It's it's uh,
it's noble. The way you operate your life, it's really noble.
(21:35):
You give a lot for your family and for the world.
But just so like, you don't have to be Jesus.
Let me, let me be. I think in the Last
uh what, there's some fucking movie my dad told me about.
I've never seen it, but and it's like the Last
Temptation of Christ or something like that. Jesus is he's
(21:58):
hanging on the cross and a little girl comes up
to him and like takes him down. That little girl,
I think in the movie it turns out to be
the devil or whatever. But let me but pretending like
that didn't happen. Okay, forgetting about that part. Let me
be the devil in this Canara and and say, hey,
you know, and that's what your husband's trying to do.
(22:19):
He's trying to be the devil, the good devil. You
get what I mean. I'm I'm losing this, but okay,
and he's trying to your husband. You're trying to be
Jesus right now, and your husband is like trying to
take you off the cross and be like, hey, you
don't have to be Jesus. You can go back to
what Nazareth and we can have a life and hang
(22:40):
out with our kid. You know, you don't have to
be the save You don't have to be the Messiah
for your father, you know what I mean. So I'll
let go the sentiment of your husband and say, it's
very nice of you that you're trying to be Jesus,
but you really don't have to be Jesus. And uh,
(23:01):
for the sake of your for the sake of yourself
and the sake of your baby, you just you don't
have to be Jesus. You can just be priestess, hes
be yourself, be with your family. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Yes, it makes complete sense. And I guess that's why
I mentioned you too, because like I, I do, I
understand that, and I'm just trying to figure out how,
and I know you don't have the answer that I guess.
I was just trying to talk and have a sound
board another opinion other than people that are directly involved,
you know, because it's emotional for them.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I'm sure. I'm sure it's very emotional for you too. Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I mean, yes, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm not a prude.
So you mentioned like it didn't like close off my ears.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
It's saying that I'm devil saying I appreciate your time,
and I appreciate you remembered my name because you don't.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Well, yeah, Priestess, is that your real name or is
that a fake name?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
It's a it's a gamer tag I went by like
in my childhood.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
M hm mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I'm trying to think if I have anything else. I
don't know if I have like logistical ways in my
head of how you could move forward that aren't tough.
But uh, I'll leave it with that that you know,
you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep
everyone else warm all that stuff. Is there anything else
you want to say to the people of the computer
(24:35):
before we go, priestis.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, I I guess I would just say that no
matter what dark room you feel like you're in, and
you know you feel shut and scared and you don't
know if you can keep going on that, just keep
that hope alive because for every mountain or the valley
in a peak and you know, yeah, it's it's things
(25:03):
can become beautiful.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Have a have a good rest of your night, you too,
Thank you, Gek those priests. Dude, I think a lot
about the Last Temptation of Christ. I'm going to talk
about it real quick, and I swear on my life
I'm not I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Christian
at all. I'm not. I'm just like I like this
(25:27):
story because it's interesting because that's all the ship is.
There's nothing like you know, it's not about like belief.
It's just like these are just allegories of things. But like,
I don't know. I was telling my I would Yeah,
I was talking to my dad and I was telling
him I was having like a hard time doing something,
and he told he was telling me about the Last
Temptation of Christ and he was like, yeah, fucking so
(25:51):
Jesus is that he's gonna go die for our sins.
So he nailed they nail him to a cross, And
oh okay, yeah, all right, so Jesus is the Messia.
I swear this is not a this is just an
interesting story. Jesus is the Messiah. Okay, So imagine someone
says to you, all right, you're the Messiah and you
(26:13):
have to fucking die for all of our sins. You'd
be like, I don't want to do that. That sucks. But
you're like, okay, all right. Or and then they say
you drat you'd, you'd They nail you to a cross
and you're sitting there dying, and they're like, this sucks.
I don't want to do this. I do not want
to be the Messiah. I don't want to sit on
this fucking cross and die. And then yeah, and then
(26:36):
a little girl comes up to Jesus and she takes
him off the cross, and she like heals his wounds,
and then uh like takes him back to Nazareth and
he gets married and he has a kid and he
lives a happy, normal life. And then later he finds
out that that little girl was the devil trying to
(26:58):
convince him to not be the Messiah. And then Jesus
like runs up to this hill and he starts trying
to talk to God and he's like he's begging God
to go back in time to be the Messiah because
he realizes that he really actually wanted to be the Messiah.
(27:18):
I think what the story is trying to tell you
is some shit like and my dad was telling it
to me and he's we're all Jewish. I don't know
why we're talking about this stuff. But when my dad
was sail it to me, it's like, Okay, you're doing
this hard thing that you really don't want to do
and you cannot do it, but later you might go
back up to the hill and beg God, I actually
(27:41):
do want to be the Messiah. Now. I was. I
was dating this woman at the time and I told
her this and she was like, that is the stupidest
fucking thing I've ever heard, Like, why would you do
a thing? Why would you like live life in pain
just so that you can say you did? And she
(28:03):
was right too. So those are the those are like
the two different sides of that coin on that story,
depending on who you are. Is like, do you suffer
immensely for I guess nobility or whatever whatever the fucking
(28:25):
thing is that you feel like you're suffering for or
do you realize that, uh, suffering is pointless and just
like go live and enjoy life. Uh. I don't think
that has a lot to do with this woman's story,
but I don't know. It's interesting. I think about it sometimes. Jesus,
(28:46):
Jesus Christ, crazy guy. Hello, Oh hi to get Ca, Yes, Hi?
Who is this?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
This is Ada?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Ada? What's up? Ada? Where you calling from?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Czech Republic?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Oh the Czech Republic? Oh what progue?
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Sweet. I went there a long time ago, and I
ate a lot of churros.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Sure really check?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Well I don't they haven't. I don't know if they're churros,
but they're like sweet cinnamon cake things.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, like the one that's like a big comb or something.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Like yeah, the big yeah, yeah, the big cone.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Well it's actually Hungarian. But we're going to this check.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Oh okay, I mean it's all the same pleasures.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
To an American everywhere, they're everywhere outside of America. Is
it's just not America?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
You know? Yeah? Well okay, No.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I'm kidding. I think I'm kidding. What's your name again?
You said you said your name forgot? You can call
me aidan Ada. You texted me and you said I
fell in love with a homeless man and he stole
my suitcase. That was the second homeless man that I
have been with.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Yeah that happened. Yeah. Well, I spent some time working
in Switzerland this summer and I was pretty lonely in
there because I actually don't speak German, so and I
(30:44):
didn't know anybody there. So I was just like pretty miserable,
and I was like walking on the street and well,
I was outside and I was I wanted to go
back to my hotel but where I also work, but
then I realized, like I missed the last train home
(31:06):
and my phone was dead, and I was on this
like tram station and like there were like some thretty
old men trying to like, you know, they were like,
I'm going to give you a ride home, blah blah blah.
And I was feeling like, you know, in danger. And
the only other person on that stop was a homeless
(31:29):
man sleeping on the ground who was like a young
guy my age. I'm twenty, and to be honest, he
was really fucking beautiful. So I was like, this is
this is my dad's bed. I'm just gonna go up
to him and be like, can I sit next to you?
I'm scared and he was like yeah, I and I
(31:52):
fucking spent the night on the street next to him.
And I did that again for the next like five
days because I really liked him, and at some point
I let him move in to my hotel room and
I just we'll stay with him for some time.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
This was the first time.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
No, it's just the second time.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh okay, and you were living in a hotel room
at the time, Yes, I'm a fuck. Did I miss
a part of the story that explains why you were
living in the hotel room?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Oh yeah, Well I worked as a hotel receptionist there,
so I kind of just lived at the hotel where
I worked.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Okay. Did you have like a family in the same city.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Oh no, I was there completely alone. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
And how long did your relationship last with the guy
that you met at the train station.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Well, he lived with me for about a month, and
then I was just like then, I just fucking west
and went back to Czech Republic because it was all
a little bit too much. He was an addict and
me too, so it was a very like toxic, dangerous relationship.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Why did I'm curious why you slept on the street
with him for five days instead of just going back
to your hotel room.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
WHOA, I don't know. I just well, the first day
I had no way to get home, but then I
just really liked spending time with him, so it was
like kept coming back and always ended up just like
(34:04):
sleeping there next to him. I know, it's fucking crazy,
but the thing is, I have BPD, and sometimes I
just like fall into like fucking involuntarily like obsession with
(34:26):
someone who like I barely know, and like my main
like goal becomes just like getting lost from that person,
and that's exactly what happened. So I just kind of
went against all logic when I was there.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
And tell me about those five days, were they like
enjoyable for you?
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Well? It was. It was heart of course, it's not
like like pleasurable to sleep on the ground on a
tram station. But on the other hand, I was next
to him, and I was feeling, you know, I was
(35:21):
feeling all the feelings you feel when you're cuddling with
the person you like, and like, I was in a
really bad mental state back there, so I was just
like glad to be there with him, and I felt
bad for him because he was my age and already homeless.
(35:45):
So I don't know, Yeah, it was there was some
good and some bad in it.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And so you said he stole your suitcase.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, well, so after a while when I let him
live with me, so sometimes he was just like go
out to like get his drugs and like beg for money.
(36:25):
And because I didn't want him to like walk around
the hotel where I lived with like a pile of
like blankets and stuff that he would take, so I
just let him borrow my suitcase so that like it
would be less suspicious. And then I told him by
(36:46):
the end, like I'm going to leave this day, and
I told him which time my train is leaving. So
but the day before he was with the suitcase and
didn't come back until the train came. So I had
no place to put my stuff. So I had to
(37:10):
stay one more night buy a new suitcase, which was
like super expensive because it's Switzerland. And actually I didn't
get to say bye to him, but he still had
like all of his stuff, like his personal items at
the hotel. So I had to like take all of
this stuff and leave it somewhere. And then I texted
(37:33):
his plug whose phone number I had because he used
my phone, and I told him where I left the stuff. Yeah,
so I he has my suitcase probably until now if
he's alive, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
So I haven't had any contact with him.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
No, because like how do you contact the almost in
a different country.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Really, that's true? Yeah, So how long ago was all this?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
That was this summer?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Oh okay, and how are you doing now?
Speaker 1 (38:15):
I'm going to like I'm going to start like a
day day program now, like where I'm going to be
Monday to Friday doing like group therapy sessions and stuff
and getting sober and then I'm just going to sleep
at home and hopefully that works. I'm going to be
there like four to six week a month. Uh. And
(38:37):
like literally, like after I came back from this strip
and this whole thing happened, I was like, this is
the last strow. I'm going to get sober now and
fucking stop doing this crazy shit.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Mm hmm. Who was what? Who was the first? So
this was this was not the first time that something
like this even happened.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Well kind of yeah. The first time was not that serious.
But the first time was last year. I was I
was in Lisbon on a solo trip.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
And I just bought like a plea role joint and
I was like, I'm not gonna smoke this alone. So
it was just like walking around the streets of Lisbon,
and there was this guy sitting like.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
In front of some grocery store on the ground, like
big beard, messy, like rasta hair and a cup in
front of him and chest and like very crazy clothes.
And I was like, that's my dude, this is the
one I'm gonna like smoke weed with. Actually he was
(39:56):
not really homeless, it was more complicated. He was. He
didn't have a job. He just kind of like somehow
sucked over the system and they gave him a free,
shitty old apartment. He didn't have to work, and he
just sat on the street and played chessless people. And yeah,
(40:16):
I did come back one more time to meet him.
There it was a thing, but it was just like
a few days with him. But this second time was
a bit more serious.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
I'd say, so, what do you I guess, desire for
your life after getting sober, Well, I'm.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Not really sure there's more options in there for me.
I one I'm thinking about, Well, I don't have a
high school diploma because I because of the drug addiction,
I had to drop out of high school like one
month before the end. So I was thinking either I'm
(41:07):
gonna try to, you know, finish that because that would
kind of be nice, but also it's scary or I
would like to. Well, I haven't offered from my friend
in Spain to come with with him, and I've been
learning Spanish for some time, so that's like my plan be,
(41:30):
you know, just fucking move to Spain because for me,
like Czech Republic is just not the place I want
to stay forever. It's the weather here, it's not like
ideal for me. I get like seasonal depression, and the
winters here get really hard for me.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
M hm.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Do you still feel like you have this thing of
like getting really obsessed with people?
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Well, I haven't had it with anybody since I came back,
and but I went back to therapy as soon as
I got back. I mean I've been in therapy since fourteen,
but I had a little break, and since I came back,
I've been there and I haven't had this problem happen again.
(42:30):
And I think this time I could just like notice
it in the beginning, hopefully and you know, not let
it get too much in my head.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Do you have a lot of like like you're talking
about your family and shit like do you have like
a support system, Do you're like friends and family helping
you out with shit?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Uh? Yeah, yeah I do. I I mean with my family,
it's a bit complicated, but they're still here, just not
ideal sometimes. And I do have some pretty good friends.
The only problem is, like I don't think I have
any sober friends. And that's what I'm working on right now,
(43:21):
like trying to get some friends that, like, you know,
I can hang out with.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Sober And are these like when you say like sober friends,
is it like stuff? Is it harder stuff than like
just like like weed and alcohol?
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Well not, I used to have. Well now I have
friends who mostly just smoke weed or drink. I kind
of got away from that, like group of people who
did hard to drug solready. I managed to get those
people out of my life. But still, yeah, like most
(44:00):
of my friends smoked a lot of wheat, and I
found myself addicted to wheat too. So I need to, like,
you know, find people to hang out with whood will
not smoke wheat around me.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Mm hmm, okay, hmmm. What about yourself? What's going on
with your friend in uh in Spain? How do you
know them? So?
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Last year and New Years. I was at my best
friend's house and she lives with a few people, and
one of them invited this girl and she brought this
guy from staying there just like you know, f are
friends for a friend he was with visiting Czech Republic,
(44:53):
and we started talking and we got like we you know,
we we vibe with each other. So the next time
I went to Spain, because this year I traveled a lot,
I gave myself a promise to like every second month
go on a trip outside of my country. So next
(45:14):
time I went to Spain, I hit him up and
we kind of became very close. I already went there
a few times to see him and his friends, and
we do call like every day. We kind of became
like really close friends. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I think it's a good idea to find friends who
are sober. Yeah yeah, I mean, I'm sure you'll be
able to do it.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, I hope. So, I mean I did the first
step like yesterday by well, there's this like uh uh
center like but said, I don't know how to pronounce it,
but histic center in my city, and so I decided
(46:14):
to go there and you know, try to maybe start
going there for like some meditations and meet other people
who go there, and they were like super nice to me,
talked to me for an hour, and I'm feeling like, yeah,
maybe this is the place I can find some new
(46:36):
friends with like a more positive mentality.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Cool. Yeah, yeah, I was. I was thinking that I
assumed that in these like uh sober groups and whatnot,
that you'd be able to find some good friends.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Yeah, I'm going to like once a week, I'm going
to like something like you know, kind of like in
the movies when there's like the AA meetings. This is
something similar. They call it like the motivational meetings. When
I go there one time a week, but you know,
usually I like don't want to get to know the people,
(47:21):
and they advise us not to make relationships with the
people there because yeah, because like in this group, it's
kind of like some people are still using, some people
are not, and it's not really you know, it couldn't
end badly, like you know, you met at a a
(47:44):
group and you just, yeah, it could mean just relapsing together.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Interesting, because I that's that's interesting. They tell you not
to form friendships because I feel like the whole point
of the group is that you're supposed to arm relationships
with people.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
So in this one where I go to, this one
is like public and they do not like make the
rule of being sober. So in this one they do
not advise it. However, when I will start going to
like the day program, they do put a lot of
like importance on like the relationships between the people going there,
(48:24):
because you get tested and like you're working really like
hard towards sobriety. And yeah, it's going to be more
safe because you have to be sober in order to
be in this program.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Do you have any hobbies of any kind that will
get you out and about and around people.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah, I paint a lot and raw and I also
like to write, so yeah these things.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Are there any groups for any of that stuff that
you might be able to join anywhere in Europe? I suppose.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Maybe probably there's something like that. Yeah, I mean I
do have a lot of like artistic people around me
in my life, but probably there are some kind of
groups like this. Yeah, m.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Thanks for sharing your story with us a Ada, Yes,
thank you for letting me of course. I guess is
there anything else that you wanted to get out of
this phone? Call or anything at all that you need
to say before we go. I wanted to give you
the opportunity to speak whatever piece you have left.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah, I want to tell people like, don't do fucking
drugs is going to ruin your life.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
And I don't know, have a nice day, perfect, thank you, Ada, good.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Luck, thank you bye, Ada, bye bye.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
That was Adam. That was an interesting story. I'm wishing
her good luck on the sobriety journey. I know that's hard,
five days hanging out with this beautiful homeless guy. I
don't know why that sounded like that sounded romantic. That
was like a in my head, I was picturing it's
(50:41):
like a a Richard link Later film or something like that.
Speaker 3 (50:45):
Hello, Hi, Hi, Oh my gosh, how are you, Gek?
Speaker 2 (50:52):
I'm good. What's your name?
Speaker 3 (50:56):
Maria?
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Maria Maria rick Can? I is it okay? If I
read what you texted me?
Speaker 3 (51:05):
Absolutely okay?
Speaker 2 (51:07):
All right? You sure? Yeah, that's fine, Okay, you texted me.
These are your words you said, Uh, hey, Gek, I
want to talk to you about being a veteran slut
bag and getting chlamydia four times. I also need relationship advice.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Chlamydia is not that bad though, you just take a pill.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, chmydee is not that bad, especially if you have
health insurance. But I think just being a woman and
like the stigma around it, it can it can be
pretty difficult, depending on who gave it to you or
if you gave it to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
So okay, so yeah, where where where do you want
to start?
Speaker 3 (51:59):
Well, I guess we can talk about being a veteran floodbag.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
Okay, what does that? What does that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (52:13):
So basically, while I was in undergrad I'm currently twenty four.
While I was an undergrad, I was just going through
a really hard time and it pretty much bordered on
like sex addiction almost but not like I don't know, like, yeah,
it was debilitating, but I also just had a lot
(52:36):
of other things going on, a lot of mental health issues.
But we're past that now. So yeah, I went to
a party school, so I think that kind of like
created some influence.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
Did you have fun? Did you enjoy the time?
Speaker 1 (52:57):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (52:57):
Hell yeah, Okay, I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Okay, I mean it's our bi, it's I think I've
talked about this before, but look, you know, obviously it's
the thing you can get addicted to, for sure. You know,
I've been addicted. I've had t especially yeah, when I
was in college, fucking you know, addicted to the apps
and you know, addicted to you know, goooning and all
(53:20):
this kind of crap. But you know, it's one of
our like the only true like the only like default
meaning of life that we have is to survive and
have sex. Everything else is like we're adding on to it.
But that's what we're born with, is don't die and reproduce.
Speaker 3 (53:40):
Yeah, that's very true because like even growing up, like
my primary doctor was like, and this is like a
pediatric doctor. She was like, sexual desire is a very
normal thing, and I like was so weird out by it.
But I don't know. I was a pretty sheltered kid
growing up, so the moment I was on my own
(54:01):
and independent, it was like, holy shit, yeah, nobody can
tell me.
Speaker 2 (54:05):
No, right right, it's a weird thing, it is. I
find it so weird that I don't know how we
evolved like this, like societally, that one of our prime
like one of our two primary like uh, innate goals
is like taboo. You know, it's like under the it's weird.
(54:28):
Like eating and surviving that one is, you know, people
love talking about food and eating, but like you could
like like if like if you're like if you had
a food blog, right and you were like, look at
all this food that I'm eating and all the nutrients
I'm getting from it so I can continue to survive.
People be like, oh, that's cool. But if you started
(54:48):
a blog of like, you know, I'm having sex with
all these guys, people will be like what is this?
But it's like they're the same. It's just you enacting
the biological goals that we're not endowed with. It's weird.
They're like on the similar they're on the same level,
(55:10):
but they're treated so differently. It's weird.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Well, if you think about it too, like it's a
double standard because like from a woman's perspective, I mean,
it's twenty twenty five and there's the whole concept of
female empowerment and equality, and there's a different attitude when
women have a higher like body count. I hate that phrase,
(55:34):
but and like it's not okay, But when men do,
it's like, ah, you're the man, Like there's no problem
with that.
Speaker 2 (55:43):
Yeah, I think I feel like that comes from. Well, one,
I think that comes from like people just being like
jealous and angry, and then I don't that's the main
thing I think that comes from is just like again, yeah,
guys being jealous and angry or just whatever. This like
(56:07):
general cultural thing we have, even beyond the world of sex,
of just like people wanting to like judge what other
people do with their lives. I mean, where do you
think that goes from.
Speaker 3 (56:24):
Like judgment judging other people's like sexuality. I think that
just comes from like how you grew up, to be honest,
because like I don't know, I'm a I have a
psych major, and I'm currently in nursing school, so like
we learn a lot about you know, Ericson's theory of development,
(56:45):
and obviously Freud is a big one too. But that
nature versus nurture argument, I think initially, I mean, at
least for me growing up, it was never really talked
about and I was pretty shielded from a lot of things.
And but I think depending on if you make the
(57:08):
decision to you know, leave the nest and go to school,
and then you're kind of faced with other people's attitudes.
Speaker 2 (57:20):
Yeah, yeah, so that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (57:23):
Sorry, I'm like in shock right now because I'm like
been trying to call you and I'm like, oh my god, please,
and then I saw your number come up and I'm like, casp.
Speaker 2 (57:32):
So you you said you had a sheltered life, Like
what what? What did that look like?
Speaker 3 (57:39):
My parents were just very strict with me. I wasn't
allowed to like go to any parties in high school drinking, Like,
I wasn't allowed to do that. Like maybe I would
have a glass of wine at dinner, but that was
very few and far between. I had Life three sixty
on my phone throughout high school as well.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
Wait, what is Life three sixty?
Speaker 3 (58:03):
You know, like find my iPhone?
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Oh okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
It's like find my iPhone but I'm steroids.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
Oh okay. So your parents were like tracking your location
at all times?
Speaker 3 (58:13):
Yeah, And I don't know, we just didn't really. You
didn't really talk about like sex or consent or like,
I don't know, having boundaries like I wasn't really I
wasn't allowed to have my door closed or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
You never had like any kind of you never had
any kind of fucking privacy.
Speaker 3 (58:35):
No, my phone would be downstairs like at seven o'clock.
Speaker 2 (58:38):
At night so you couldn't even you couldn't even jack off. No,
that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (58:45):
I think the first time I did that, I was like,
I don't know, like nineteen, which is like horrifying, but
it's not horrifying bad, but like horrifying weird.
Speaker 2 (58:55):
Wo.
Speaker 3 (58:56):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Speaker 3 (59:01):
Somewhat? I mean it's it's very complicated because I have
a sister who's a lot older than me, so like
I spent a lot of time growing up like watching
how she navigated the relationships, so I kind of learned
like what to do and what not to do.
Speaker 2 (59:19):
Mm hmm. But how did your sister end up?
Speaker 3 (59:27):
Oh, she like moved away, like a few hours away, so.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (59:35):
But she's doing really good now. I mean she she
has her master, she has a really good job. She's
currently dating, so I would I would, I would say
she's pretty happy.
Speaker 2 (59:49):
So what is your life like? And what what is this,
uh relationship advice that you are in need of? I
don't know if I'm not good at really I don't
I try. I don't know if I'm that good at
relationship advice, but I'll try.
Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
Yeah, No, it's okay, I'm just grateful to even be
having this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
I'm sorry, what did you ask you? You well, you
texted me and you said I need a relationship advice.
Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah. So, like I have really bad
anxiety and PTSD and depression okay, and ADHD as well. Okay,
just like a whole Like I don't know, you know,
the guy with the trench coat and he's like trying
to sell you things out of the trench coat and
(01:00:37):
he's like, this is everything I got. What do you want?
Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Me, Okay, that's.
Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
Yeah. So there's this.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Guy and it's been kind of like talking on and off,
but he has a very traumatic attachment to this girl
that he used to date, and he's like telling me
that he wants to take it slow and be friends
(01:01:10):
and all this stuff, and we hang out sometimes. It's great,
and I have a lot of feelings for him and
he knows that. And I've been trying to be like
open and honest but also not intense, which with having
such bad anxiety like I do, like I'm always seeking
that reinsurance and like I just never know how to
(01:01:33):
take it slow. And he wants to be sexual and
I'm like trying to slow that part of myself down
and just kind of like redirect my own behavior and
not given to it. So like I just don't know
if I should create some distance for him to heal
(01:01:53):
and give him that time, or if I should like
not abandon shit, but like.
Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
Give it a break.
Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
But he says that he really enjoys my company, and
like he says all these nice things.
Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Can I interrupt you for a second. Yeah, who is
whistling in the background behind you? Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
I have a bird?
Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Oh well, you have a bird?
Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
I thought that was like a guy.
Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
No, no, no, no, I have I have a talk
of teal.
Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Okay, he's like whistling like a human being. That's kind
of a that's uncanny.
Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
Yeah, he likes just saying if you're happy and you
know it, he says, what the fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
That he can talk.
Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Kind of it's not like talking talking like you know,
like with bigger parrots, like you can actually make out
complete sentences that they're making. Like he kind of he
understands his phonics.
Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
I'm so, I'm he really sounds like a real human
being that's whistling in the background. Okay, anyway, all right,
this guy, Well, I mean, look, this guy told you
you got to believe when you got to believe him
when he tells you these things, right, I mean, this guy,
he says he just wants to be friends. You two
are clearly uh not on the same level of investment,
(01:03:16):
or not even not on the same level investment. You
guys are on like different planets of investment. You're on
like opposites. And also you you haven't even known this
guy for that long have you?
Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
I mean we've known each other for I want to say,
like seven years.
Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Oh shit, Okay, have you like been in love with you?
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
And there's a lot of proximity and like overlap with
our friend groups.
Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Oh okay, So.
Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Yeah, I've like witnessed him through different relationships and like
I've heard things and I'm like, damn this man then
through the fucking ringer. But I'm not trying to like
six minute or anything either.
Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
Well, yeah, I mean I think that this stuff should
be easy. Right, So if there's this seems like there's
too much this seems like to be too much distance
between you guys in terms of what you actually are desiring.
And it's not like this is a guy that you've
(01:04:19):
been I mean, you've known him for a while, but
it's not like he's been your boyfriend for you know,
seven years and you want to try to bring things out.
So yeah, I would probably I would. I would. I
would uh do an audit to see if this relationship
is causing more of a benefit or more of a
strife to you, and then act upon that information.
Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
M hmmm.
Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
I think there's definitely like some benefit because I don't know,
I kind of take everything that I encounters the lesson.
I mean, I've been through years of therapy, so I
think the good thing about it is like I'm learning
how to slow down. But there's like that one part
(01:05:05):
of me that's like, dude, it's gonna move on, let's go.
It's not that deep.
Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
But yeah, but you can't. Yeah, but he's not. He
doesn't want you can't make him give that to you.
You know. Yes, he sounds like he wants to just
like chill.
Speaker 3 (01:05:21):
Yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Mm hmm. Where'd you get a bird?
Speaker 3 (01:05:31):
I got him from a like a mom and pop shop.
He's two years old. I've had him since he was hatched.
Now he's freaking out, but yeah, he's just he's just
a little baby.
Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
What's the rest of what's your life like outside of this?
After you graduated from school?
Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
So I graduated with my bachelor's in psychology. I am
a nursing student in an accelerated program, and I also
work at a law firm. So I'm all over the place.
Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
That's pretty good. All right, you got a good you
got a good life. Don't uh, don't don't get too
distracted from it. That's what I'll say. Yeah, you want
to say to the people of the computer before we go,
I'm sorry I cut you off. You're about to say something.
Speaker 3 (01:06:25):
No, it's okay. All I would say is wrap it
before you tap it and be kind to everybody because
you don't know what they're going through.
Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
Welcome. What's your name again, Maria, Maria, Thanks for calling Maria.
Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
Have a good day.
Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
Gek goes on the line
Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Every staging.
Hello, is this the therapy kick?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Yes? Hi, who is this?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Oh my goodness, I go by priestess.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Priestess, what's going on, priestess? How's life?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Ah? Well, life, it's amazing, but also as it goes,
there's always craziness going on.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You texted me and you said that my dad has
become my basement dweller, and the husband is pissed.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yes, essentially, unfortunately, my dad faced a situation where he
lost his home and in a three day notice, I
ended up moving him into our house and unfortunately and
unfinished basement, just because he had nowhere else to go.
(00:52):
And the husband is it's been three months and he's
a really get impatient as far as you know, get
more space back. And we also have a roommate that
we were in a room too, in one bathroom, so
kind of a tricky situation.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Mm hmm. How long has he been there for? You said.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
About three months? And where I'm struggling and why I
joke and like affectionately like I love my dad. There
has been many many years of like he was my
best friend for a lot of it. I had divorced
parents and that always creates a tricky situation. There's been
(01:42):
some good times, but there's also been some really low
low especially between me and my dad. So it's been
like tough for me. My husband is definitely pissed, but
it's been a little tough for me and sometimes triggering
because like, you know, I guess I've forgiven him my
dad for some things, and I sincerely do want to
help him, but at the same time, I feel like
(02:02):
some things aren't being respected, like it's like, you know,
it's my space, so that they're that weird dynamic of yeah,
like trying to deal with that and like wanting to
help him also not because he's kind of not in
like I don't think he's really left even his house
much for ten years, and trying to tell somebody because
(02:23):
he was a caretaker for my grandma, and trying to
tell somebody like, oh, yeah, I know you, you know, you're
not used to just being in society and stuff much,
but like you gotta get a job and figure stuff out.
Like I've tried helping him by helping him jobs. They're
just trying to help him get medical stuff, trying to
(02:44):
do things in like a nice way, and that doesn't
seem to help. So I'm kind of stuck in a
tough place because I understand, like it's got to be
like I just had a baby same time he moved
in pretty much or first, and like, uh, it's it's
like I want to help, but also boundaries and I
(03:06):
got to put my husband and my baby first.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Mm hmm does he So what has he been doing that? Like?
Is uh is disrespecting the boundaries?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, like, uh, there was an instance of you know,
some things that are out of place or not done
a certain way that the husband likes, and you know,
I try to communicate it to the husband or to
my father and he kind of gets this attitude of like,
oh we did just talking to me himself and like
(03:39):
you know, he's being a bitch or something. I'm like, WHOA,
first of all, don't even say that, like I want
to like chicken myriad. Then when he said something like that,
but you know, or or just like some things in
the past have come up, like I just want to
start off with like the reason I give my dad
she and stuff, it's because he has built the foundation
(04:01):
in me as a person to be a strong person
and loving towards people and things. But like on the
other side, sometimes I suspect maybe he's like got something
like not to diagnose or anything, but like bipolar or
something going on. Yeah, And because on the other side,
like you know, when I was living with my grandma
(04:23):
and him, like it got so bad that I couldn't
even be in my house because, yeah, I would be
late from work and he would suspect that I was
hanging out with friends or a guy that he thought
I was dating at the time, which was just a
friend I wasn't dating and wasn't and so like I'd
come home to my shit torn up and like being
called you know words, which it was pretty bad. It
(04:48):
got like that's the toxic part of and so he
like where I feel disrespected? Is it came up once
he said, well I had to do that to get
you out of the house. And I'm like, like I
had to be just like, okay, you need to leave
my space because I'm about to go off on you
because that like you could just tell me to move out.
You didn't need to do all that.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Mm hmm Okay, So like do you confront him about
this stuff? Do you say, like, hey, you can't be
doing this ship you gotta if you're gonna stay with me.
You gotta do X, Y and Z.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yes. I I well, I should say I should. I
try to, but I feel like I get talked at
and interrupted, like I never get a chance to just
sit down and actually say it, you know, or like
maybe like even when I do get moments of being
able to say it, it's like I'm being listened to to. Like,
(05:47):
of course he's gonna be defensive. I mean, he wouldn't
be when somebody's coming at you like that to where
it's it's not getting received, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, so he's not receiving it at all, or he's
like yelling at you.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Right exactly, and like, so I don't. I mean, I
know what everyone's gonna say. I know it's like just
kick him out for everything, but it's I just I
don't feel right about it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I get it, I get it. I know, I get it.
I mean I'm not gonna well, of course, listen. Of
course it's easy to say just kick him out. Of
course it's easy to say it's just kick him out.
But it's easy for me to say and for everyone
else to say because it's not our fucking dad. You know,
it's almost like it's like, well, if you're in an
abusive relationship or something, why not just leave, you know.
(06:40):
And it's like, well, there's so much like emotional quotent
behind the logistics of it, and the emotions of it
are a lot more murky. But to continue with logistics,
I suppose I mean, how old is your dad?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
He just turned fifty five, okay?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
And does he work?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Is he disabled.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
In it? Yes? Actually in some ways not fully, but
like his back and Necker feels so bad that like
he can't even turn his next sort of thing, yes,
and like his eyesight, like that's another thing, is like
diabetes is really bad and things are going on, but
(07:34):
he's also where it's making it hard. It's he's very
much not wanting to go to doctors because it feels
like he can't trust them. They just want to pump
them full drugs, which I agree with him to some points,
but it gets to a point where like, oh, well,
you didn't make the healthy choices you needed to prevent
it from becoming worse, you know, and now you put
your spot on yourself in the spot where it's either
(07:55):
medicine or like literally lose some lens man like. And
so I mean he is working towards getting possibly help
with that stuff, but only because I really really pushed
it or I have to like initiate. H.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You know, is he is he? Do we know if
he's eligible to receive any kind of government assistance? Like?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Is he?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
That? Is it that bad?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
That's what we're looking into. I don't know. I mean
I think it is, because I mean the man like
he's at eight out of ten pain all the time,
you know, And so yeah, I'm looking into that. But
I'm also like trying to look into jobs where it
would be low impact, because it's not not only just
job for money and supporting yourself, but there's some mental
(08:47):
aspect too, you know, if you want accomplished, getting your
confidence back and a purpose and being around people again.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Of course, yeah, you know, I I know. I guess
the reason why I go to government stuff first is
because it's like what's your name again? I'm sorry, I
fucking suck with names, no worries priestess, priestess. H Well,
because priestess, here's the thing. Uh, you know, it's great
that your dad has done so much for you and
(09:16):
you're a clear you are clearly a really sweet, caring
person and your family is important to you. But also
like you have your own life, like you have a
fucking you just had a fucking kid. Is it your
first kid? Yes, like you just had your first kid,
you know what I mean. And I'm sure that's the
(09:36):
pain in the Like you have your own life, you
have your own things to tend to. And I understand
that you care a lot about your dad and it's
not and it's totally not as easy as just kick
him out, but like, uh, it's really fucking hard, but
your dad has to be like your dad's gottah at
(09:57):
least like respect you. You know, he's got a least
give you something because if he's just gonna like be
the tyrant ruler of the house, like he just can't
fucking do that. I mean, it's a it's a it's
a it's a disrespect to to you. It's a respect
to your fucking kid that he's taken away attention from
(10:17):
because you got you got to be there for your kid,
but instead you're worrying about your dad.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And you're a nice person. But also also you you
have you have you have a fine night amount of
time and energy and whatever, and so you know, I
it's not easy, but it's some At a certain point
you gotta be like, Dad, listen to you. Either you
have to like like you gotta do something, or else
(10:42):
you have to like there's got to be something or
else he's just gonna keep fucking walking all over you.
And you know, for the sake of your kid and everything,
he just can't let that happen. I know it's hard.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, it's it is hard because there there is also
like the piece of I do work from home, and like,
you know sometimes because I'm going for trying not to
have to get childcare because it's stuff like two thousand
a month. It's insane and we just can't like deal
with the morganize things. Really can't swing that. But you
(11:21):
know it's helpful sometimes like that he can watch her
like and like the the other piece of it is too,
Like I mentioned, my husband Bret pissed and I'm really
trying to work.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, what's your husband's deal? What's he said? He's pissed off?
What's he what's he have to say? What are his
like solutions or thoughts?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, well, his his solution is out on the street.
But that it's not stemming necessarily from the like just
being here. It's more so for him as there's he's
holding a lot onto some paths because like while we
were dating and stuff, he I was I think there
was a two year time I wasn't speaking to my
(12:06):
dad and during the time we were dating, I was
trying to reconnect with my dad because my grandma had
passed away, and like it was a lot of phone
calls of me on the phone getting screamed at and
then like like crying for an hour afterward.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
And my husband was the one that had to see
the one holding together.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, your husband, Your husband watched you you your husband
watched you attempt to get back your Your husband watched
you attempt to rebuild your relationship with your dad. Uh,
and he watched your dad scream at you and make
you cry.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, so he holds a lot.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Of that, Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
And then which understandably, I love him for that, I
really do, And I just I was like, can you
try to please forget him for that, because I understand
you're not wrong in feeling that way, but you got
to understand somebody is not functioning from a healthy place.
And at the time I took that stuff, because you know,
like he was very much my father in the mind
(13:14):
frame of like I don't even want to live his
life anymore. So for me, it felt like a battle
of just fighting for his life, you know, which doesn't
make it okay. I didn't deserve it. I recognize all that,
but you know, I've been a shitty person times in
my life, and and it sometimes it just takes people
being there in your low lows, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
But at a and I get that, right, but also
at a certain point, it's like you it's you're it's
very kind of you again to offer your dad this forgiveness,
but you have, but he has to, like he's got
to do something to right can continue to be in
(14:01):
your life, you know, because if he's not, he's got
to hold up here. You're you're you're struggling so hard.
You're like like you're given so much, priestess, Like you're
just giving so much. And if he's giving and he
can't just give you nothing. He can't just give you
(14:22):
nothing and then blame it on whatever he's gonna blame
it on. He just can't. He can't give you nothing.
That's why your husband hates him, is because he's watching
you because if you're because if your dad, if your
dad was in like my name is Earl Mode or whatever,
and he's brought brought you a fucking fruit basket and
(14:44):
he's like, hey, I'm sorry. I know I was a
dick in the past, and I I really I want
to get back into the good graces of you and
your family. I want to be there with my grandson.
I want to be there with your husband, and I
want to do this and that, and I thank you
so fucking thanking you every fucking day for letting you, uh,
(15:05):
letting him live in your house and being like I
have a plant, like it like that because it's you.
That's why you're your husband's having a hard time forgiving
him is because he's not like for because he's your dad.
Your dad's like, from what you're telling me, your dad's
not even asking for forgiveness. He's just continuing, you know
what I mean. So it's like, how can you even
(15:26):
give forgiveness that he's not even asking for And by
the way, this all sucks. I'm really sorry to hear that.
There's no like great amazing advice or solution that doesn't
make any of this uh, suck a lot and be
really hard, but I just at a certain point, you
(15:48):
got to figure out where your uh where your limits are,
you know. And I don't know if that means throwing
him out on the street necessarily, but uh, you know something,
I mean, what what what's out there? Right? Like, I
don't you know is he eligible for government assistants? And
you're like, well, I want him to have a job
(16:10):
and have all this, you know, actually kind of get
back himself out there, and well, well, he has to
want to fucking do that, you know. And if he
wants to fuck he has to want to do that,
he has to want to improve his life. And you
can't make him want to improve his life then, and
you also can't and also you've got to be there
(16:31):
for yourself and your kid and your hut, and like
you got to be there for your life, and you
only have and you you we only have enough energy
for like so much, you know, and you your energy.
I don't think it can continue to expand outside of
your own life at this point. And I know that's
(16:55):
really hard, but I hope, I hope it gives you
something to think about.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Least it does.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I I appreciate it. I try to operate humbly as
a person, and like I don't, I don't stay in
the mind frame of I'm giving so much. I mean,
I am a personal faith. So for me, it's like, well,
it's not mine to begin with, but it's I guess
it helps. You're making me realize, like especially the energy spending,
(17:22):
because it's true, like a lot of my joy and
things were robbed in the process of being pregnant and stuff,
just because I was worried about him becoming homeless.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And you said, you said it wasn't yours to begin with.
Is that like, I've been endowed by God with all
that I am and it was never mine to begin with.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, in the sense of like like for me, I
grew up in poverty with my new worst parents, and
you know, I tried some college because there was a
program where, like your last two years of high school,
you can go into college early. And I just didn't
(18:05):
know exactly what I was wanting to do with my life.
I was going to family law that there was a
little bit of passion there because of what I dealt
with growing up. But yeah, I just kind of fell
off and just went out lived my life and unfortunately
I had a really bad accident at my work where
(18:29):
I basically fell head first at least ten feet and
like woke up, couldn't like I don't remember anything. I
couldn't even be in a room with lights or sound
or I am lucky I didn't die. And so like
I used to be an incredibly high functioning person and
(18:54):
like now I really struggle with a lot of things
like just stopping this or or what have you. But like,
despite my struggles, I still have work because like I
could have probably gone disability, but I didn't want to,
Like I rather if I can offer something, you know,
I wanted to be, you know, be able to support
(19:16):
myself and not be limited in any way as possible.
And thankfully I have a very wonderful workplace that allows
that in flexibility for me. And despite my shortcomings, I
somehow have made it into a pretty good position. And
like the level of my life, my husband and my
(19:36):
house was a whole miracle in itself. How that was
obtained because by no means with what we make should
we have any business being owners. But you know, it's
it also in place in ways where I'm just like
and I personally have experience where I like, I know
God is true to where like spiritual experiences and it's
(19:56):
just like I've that's where I'm operating from. Is I'm
and there's none of what I have I obtained myself.
You know, I've been blessed.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Sure, sure, I understand what you mean, but I understand
what you I understand what you mean when you say
that nothing that you have you achieved on your I
understand where you draw that conclusion. And I feel that way,
that's a very because I've I've lost myself in a
lot of like deterministic things and that of like so
(20:29):
I don't know why I am the way I am,
and like very like existential shit that gets you to
that point of like feeling like everything you had was
not yours. I'm gonna say this, it makes sense that
you're a woman of faith because the way in which
you operate strikes me as very christ like. But here's
(20:54):
the problem is that being Jesus sucks. I mean, yeah,
being Jesus uh sucks ass. I mean he has to
carry a giant thing for one thousand miles and then
they nail him to the cross and he just sits
(21:14):
there and dies for you know, for what you know? Well,
I I don't know the f I've never read the Bible.
But being I do know that being Jesus sucks. And
I just want you to know something. It's it's uh,
it's noble. The way you operate your life, it's really noble.
(21:35):
You give a lot for your family and for the world.
But just so like, you don't have to be Jesus.
Let me, let me be. I think in the Last
uh what, there's some fucking movie my dad told me about.
I've never seen it, but and it's like the Last
Temptation of Christ or something like that. Jesus is he's
(21:58):
hanging on the cross and a little girl comes up
to him and like takes him down. That little girl,
I think in the movie it turns out to be
the devil or whatever. But let me but pretending like
that didn't happen. Okay, forgetting about that part. Let me
be the devil in this Canara and and say, hey,
you know, and that's what your husband's trying to do.
(22:19):
He's trying to be the devil, the good devil. You
get what I mean. I'm I'm losing this, but okay,
and he's trying to your husband. You're trying to be
Jesus right now, and your husband is like trying to
take you off the cross and be like, hey, you
don't have to be Jesus. You can go back to
what Nazareth and we can have a life and hang
(22:40):
out with our kid. You know, you don't have to
be the save You don't have to be the Messiah
for your father, you know what I mean. So I'll
let go the sentiment of your husband and say, it's
very nice of you that you're trying to be Jesus,
but you really don't have to be Jesus. And uh,
(23:01):
for the sake of your for the sake of yourself
and the sake of your baby, you just you don't
have to be Jesus. You can just be priestess, hes
be yourself, be with your family. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Yes, it makes complete sense. And I guess that's why
I mentioned you too, because like I, I do, I
understand that, and I'm just trying to figure out how,
and I know you don't have the answer that I guess.
I was just trying to talk and have a sound
board another opinion other than people that are directly involved,
you know, because it's emotional for them.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I'm sure. I'm sure it's very emotional for you too. Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I mean, yes, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm not a prude.
So you mentioned like it didn't like close off my ears.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
It's saying that I'm devil saying I appreciate your time,
and I appreciate you remembered my name because you don't.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Well, yeah, Priestess, is that your real name or is
that a fake name?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
It's a it's a gamer tag I went by like
in my childhood.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
M hm mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I'm trying to think if I have anything else. I
don't know if I have like logistical ways in my
head of how you could move forward that aren't tough.
But uh, I'll leave it with that that you know,
you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep
everyone else warm all that stuff. Is there anything else
you want to say to the people of the computer
(24:35):
before we go, priestis.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, I I guess I would just say that no
matter what dark room you feel like you're in, and
you know you feel shut and scared and you don't
know if you can keep going on that, just keep
that hope alive because for every mountain or the valley
in a peak and you know, yeah, it's it's things
(25:03):
can become beautiful.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Have a have a good rest of your night, you too,
Thank you, Gek those priests. Dude, I think a lot
about the Last Temptation of Christ. I'm going to talk
about it real quick, and I swear on my life
I'm not I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Christian
at all. I'm not. I'm just like I like this
(25:27):
story because it's interesting because that's all the ship is.
There's nothing like you know, it's not about like belief.
It's just like these are just allegories of things. But like,
I don't know. I was telling my I would Yeah,
I was talking to my dad and I was telling
him I was having like a hard time doing something,
and he told he was telling me about the Last
Temptation of Christ and he was like, yeah, fucking so
(25:51):
Jesus is that he's gonna go die for our sins.
So he nailed they nail him to a cross, And
oh okay, yeah, all right, so Jesus is the Messia.
I swear this is not a this is just an
interesting story. Jesus is the Messiah. Okay, So imagine someone
says to you, all right, you're the Messiah and you
(26:13):
have to fucking die for all of our sins. You'd
be like, I don't want to do that. That sucks. But
you're like, okay, all right. Or and then they say
you drat you'd, you'd They nail you to a cross
and you're sitting there dying, and they're like, this sucks.
I don't want to do this. I do not want
to be the Messiah. I don't want to sit on
this fucking cross and die. And then yeah, and then
(26:36):
a little girl comes up to Jesus and she takes
him off the cross, and she like heals his wounds,
and then uh like takes him back to Nazareth and
he gets married and he has a kid and he
lives a happy, normal life. And then later he finds
out that that little girl was the devil trying to
(26:58):
convince him to not be the Messiah. And then Jesus
like runs up to this hill and he starts trying
to talk to God and he's like he's begging God
to go back in time to be the Messiah because
he realizes that he really actually wanted to be the Messiah.
(27:18):
I think what the story is trying to tell you
is some shit like and my dad was telling it
to me and he's we're all Jewish. I don't know
why we're talking about this stuff. But when my dad
was sail it to me, it's like, Okay, you're doing
this hard thing that you really don't want to do
and you cannot do it, but later you might go
back up to the hill and beg God, I actually
(27:41):
do want to be the Messiah. Now. I was. I
was dating this woman at the time and I told
her this and she was like, that is the stupidest
fucking thing I've ever heard, Like, why would you do
a thing? Why would you like live life in pain
just so that you can say you did? And she
(28:03):
was right too. So those are the those are like
the two different sides of that coin on that story,
depending on who you are. Is like, do you suffer
immensely for I guess nobility or whatever whatever the fucking
(28:25):
thing is that you feel like you're suffering for or
do you realize that, uh, suffering is pointless and just
like go live and enjoy life. Uh. I don't think
that has a lot to do with this woman's story,
but I don't know. It's interesting. I think about it sometimes. Jesus,
(28:46):
Jesus Christ, crazy guy. Hello, Oh hi to get Ca, Yes, Hi?
Who is this?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
This is Ada?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Ada? What's up? Ada? Where you calling from?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Czech Republic?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Oh the Czech Republic? Oh what progue?
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Sweet. I went there a long time ago, and I
ate a lot of churros.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Sure really check?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Well I don't they haven't. I don't know if they're churros,
but they're like sweet cinnamon cake things.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, like the one that's like a big comb or something.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Like yeah, the big yeah, yeah, the big cone.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Well it's actually Hungarian. But we're going to this check.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Oh okay, I mean it's all the same pleasures.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
To an American everywhere, they're everywhere outside of America. Is
it's just not America?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
You know? Yeah? Well okay, No.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I'm kidding. I think I'm kidding. What's your name again?
You said you said your name forgot? You can call
me aidan Ada. You texted me and you said I
fell in love with a homeless man and he stole
my suitcase. That was the second homeless man that I
have been with.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Yeah that happened. Yeah. Well, I spent some time working
in Switzerland this summer and I was pretty lonely in
there because I actually don't speak German, so and I
(30:44):
didn't know anybody there. So I was just like pretty miserable,
and I was like walking on the street and well,
I was outside and I was I wanted to go
back to my hotel but where I also work, but
then I realized, like I missed the last train home
(31:06):
and my phone was dead, and I was on this
like tram station and like there were like some thretty
old men trying to like, you know, they were like,
I'm going to give you a ride home, blah blah blah.
And I was feeling like, you know, in danger. And
the only other person on that stop was a homeless
(31:29):
man sleeping on the ground who was like a young
guy my age. I'm twenty, and to be honest, he
was really fucking beautiful. So I was like, this is
this is my dad's bed. I'm just gonna go up
to him and be like, can I sit next to you?
I'm scared and he was like yeah, I and I
(31:52):
fucking spent the night on the street next to him.
And I did that again for the next like five
days because I really liked him, and at some point
I let him move in to my hotel room and
I just we'll stay with him for some time.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
This was the first time.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
No, it's just the second time.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh okay, and you were living in a hotel room
at the time, Yes, I'm a fuck. Did I miss
a part of the story that explains why you were
living in the hotel room?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Oh yeah, Well I worked as a hotel receptionist there,
so I kind of just lived at the hotel where
I worked.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Okay. Did you have like a family in the same city.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Oh no, I was there completely alone. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
And how long did your relationship last with the guy
that you met at the train station.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Well, he lived with me for about a month, and
then I was just like then, I just fucking west
and went back to Czech Republic because it was all
a little bit too much. He was an addict and
me too, so it was a very like toxic, dangerous relationship.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Why did I'm curious why you slept on the street
with him for five days instead of just going back
to your hotel room.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
WHOA, I don't know. I just well, the first day
I had no way to get home, but then I
just really liked spending time with him, so it was
like kept coming back and always ended up just like
(34:04):
sleeping there next to him. I know, it's fucking crazy,
but the thing is, I have BPD, and sometimes I
just like fall into like fucking involuntarily like obsession with
(34:26):
someone who like I barely know, and like my main
like goal becomes just like getting lost from that person,
and that's exactly what happened. So I just kind of
went against all logic when I was there.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
And tell me about those five days, were they like
enjoyable for you?
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Well? It was. It was heart of course, it's not
like like pleasurable to sleep on the ground on a
tram station. But on the other hand, I was next
to him, and I was feeling, you know, I was
(35:21):
feeling all the feelings you feel when you're cuddling with
the person you like, and like, I was in a
really bad mental state back there, so I was just
like glad to be there with him, and I felt
bad for him because he was my age and already homeless.
(35:45):
So I don't know, Yeah, it was there was some
good and some bad in it.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And so you said he stole your suitcase.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, well, so after a while when I let him
live with me, so sometimes he was just like go
out to like get his drugs and like beg for money.
(36:25):
And because I didn't want him to like walk around
the hotel where I lived with like a pile of
like blankets and stuff that he would take, so I
just let him borrow my suitcase so that like it
would be less suspicious. And then I told him by
(36:46):
the end, like I'm going to leave this day, and
I told him which time my train is leaving. So
but the day before he was with the suitcase and
didn't come back until the train came. So I had
no place to put my stuff. So I had to
(37:10):
stay one more night buy a new suitcase, which was
like super expensive because it's Switzerland. And actually I didn't
get to say bye to him, but he still had
like all of his stuff, like his personal items at
the hotel. So I had to like take all of
this stuff and leave it somewhere. And then I texted
(37:33):
his plug whose phone number I had because he used
my phone, and I told him where I left the stuff. Yeah,
so I he has my suitcase probably until now if
he's alive, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
So I haven't had any contact with him.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
No, because like how do you contact the almost in
a different country.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Really, that's true? Yeah, So how long ago was all this?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
That was this summer?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Oh okay, and how are you doing now?
Speaker 1 (38:15):
I'm going to like I'm going to start like a
day day program now, like where I'm going to be
Monday to Friday doing like group therapy sessions and stuff
and getting sober and then I'm just going to sleep
at home and hopefully that works. I'm going to be
there like four to six week a month. Uh. And
(38:37):
like literally, like after I came back from this strip
and this whole thing happened, I was like, this is
the last strow. I'm going to get sober now and
fucking stop doing this crazy shit.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Mm hmm. Who was what? Who was the first? So
this was this was not the first time that something
like this even happened.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Well kind of yeah. The first time was not that serious.
But the first time was last year. I was I
was in Lisbon on a solo trip.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
And I just bought like a plea role joint and
I was like, I'm not gonna smoke this alone. So
it was just like walking around the streets of Lisbon,
and there was this guy sitting like.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
In front of some grocery store on the ground, like
big beard, messy, like rasta hair and a cup in
front of him and chest and like very crazy clothes.
And I was like, that's my dude, this is the
one I'm gonna like smoke weed with. Actually he was
(39:56):
not really homeless, it was more complicated. He was. He
didn't have a job. He just kind of like somehow
sucked over the system and they gave him a free,
shitty old apartment. He didn't have to work, and he
just sat on the street and played chessless people. And yeah,
(40:16):
I did come back one more time to meet him.
There it was a thing, but it was just like
a few days with him. But this second time was
a bit more serious.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
I'd say, so, what do you I guess, desire for
your life after getting sober, Well, I'm.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Not really sure there's more options in there for me.
I one I'm thinking about, Well, I don't have a
high school diploma because I because of the drug addiction,
I had to drop out of high school like one
month before the end. So I was thinking either I'm
(41:07):
gonna try to, you know, finish that because that would
kind of be nice, but also it's scary or I
would like to. Well, I haven't offered from my friend
in Spain to come with with him, and I've been
learning Spanish for some time, so that's like my plan be,
(41:30):
you know, just fucking move to Spain because for me,
like Czech Republic is just not the place I want
to stay forever. It's the weather here, it's not like
ideal for me. I get like seasonal depression, and the
winters here get really hard for me.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
M hm.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Do you still feel like you have this thing of
like getting really obsessed with people?
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Well, I haven't had it with anybody since I came back,
and but I went back to therapy as soon as
I got back. I mean I've been in therapy since fourteen,
but I had a little break, and since I came back,
I've been there and I haven't had this problem happen again.
(42:30):
And I think this time I could just like notice
it in the beginning, hopefully and you know, not let
it get too much in my head.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Do you have a lot of like like you're talking
about your family and shit like do you have like
a support system, Do you're like friends and family helping
you out with shit?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Uh? Yeah, yeah I do. I I mean with my family,
it's a bit complicated, but they're still here, just not
ideal sometimes. And I do have some pretty good friends.
The only problem is, like I don't think I have
any sober friends. And that's what I'm working on right now,
(43:21):
like trying to get some friends that, like, you know,
I can hang out with.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Sober And are these like when you say like sober friends,
is it like stuff? Is it harder stuff than like
just like like weed and alcohol?
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Well not, I used to have. Well now I have
friends who mostly just smoke weed or drink. I kind
of got away from that, like group of people who
did hard to drug solready. I managed to get those
people out of my life. But still, yeah, like most
(44:00):
of my friends smoked a lot of wheat, and I
found myself addicted to wheat too. So I need to, like,
you know, find people to hang out with whood will
not smoke wheat around me.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Mm hmm, okay, hmmm. What about yourself? What's going on
with your friend in uh in Spain? How do you
know them? So?
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Last year and New Years. I was at my best
friend's house and she lives with a few people, and
one of them invited this girl and she brought this
guy from staying there just like you know, f are
friends for a friend he was with visiting Czech Republic,
(44:53):
and we started talking and we got like we you know,
we we vibe with each other. So the next time
I went to Spain, because this year I traveled a lot,
I gave myself a promise to like every second month
go on a trip outside of my country. So next
(45:14):
time I went to Spain, I hit him up and
we kind of became very close. I already went there
a few times to see him and his friends, and
we do call like every day. We kind of became
like really close friends. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I think it's a good idea to find friends who
are sober. Yeah yeah, I mean, I'm sure you'll be
able to do it.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, I hope. So, I mean I did the first
step like yesterday by well, there's this like uh uh
center like but said, I don't know how to pronounce it,
but histic center in my city, and so I decided
(46:14):
to go there and you know, try to maybe start
going there for like some meditations and meet other people
who go there, and they were like super nice to me,
talked to me for an hour, and I'm feeling like, yeah,
maybe this is the place I can find some new
(46:36):
friends with like a more positive mentality.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Cool. Yeah, yeah, I was. I was thinking that I
assumed that in these like uh sober groups and whatnot,
that you'd be able to find some good friends.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Yeah, I'm going to like once a week, I'm going
to like something like you know, kind of like in
the movies when there's like the AA meetings. This is
something similar. They call it like the motivational meetings. When
I go there one time a week, but you know,
usually I like don't want to get to know the people,
(47:21):
and they advise us not to make relationships with the
people there because yeah, because like in this group, it's
kind of like some people are still using, some people
are not, and it's not really you know, it couldn't
end badly, like you know, you met at a a
(47:44):
group and you just, yeah, it could mean just relapsing together.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Interesting, because I that's that's interesting. They tell you not
to form friendships because I feel like the whole point
of the group is that you're supposed to arm relationships
with people.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
So in this one where I go to, this one
is like public and they do not like make the
rule of being sober. So in this one they do
not advise it. However, when I will start going to
like the day program, they do put a lot of
like importance on like the relationships between the people going there,
(48:24):
because you get tested and like you're working really like
hard towards sobriety. And yeah, it's going to be more
safe because you have to be sober in order to
be in this program.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Do you have any hobbies of any kind that will
get you out and about and around people.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah, I paint a lot and raw and I also
like to write, so yeah these things.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Are there any groups for any of that stuff that
you might be able to join anywhere in Europe? I suppose.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Maybe probably there's something like that. Yeah, I mean I
do have a lot of like artistic people around me
in my life, but probably there are some kind of
groups like this. Yeah, m.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Thanks for sharing your story with us a Ada, Yes,
thank you for letting me of course. I guess is
there anything else that you wanted to get out of
this phone? Call or anything at all that you need
to say before we go. I wanted to give you
the opportunity to speak whatever piece you have left.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah, I want to tell people like, don't do fucking
drugs is going to ruin your life.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
And I don't know, have a nice day, perfect, thank you, Ada, good.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Luck, thank you bye, Ada, bye bye.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
That was Adam. That was an interesting story. I'm wishing
her good luck on the sobriety journey. I know that's hard,
five days hanging out with this beautiful homeless guy. I
don't know why that sounded like that sounded romantic. That
was like a in my head, I was picturing it's
(50:41):
like a a Richard link Later film or something like that.
Speaker 3 (50:45):
Hello, Hi, Hi, Oh my gosh, how are you, Gek?
Speaker 2 (50:52):
I'm good. What's your name?
Speaker 3 (50:56):
Maria?
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Maria Maria rick Can? I is it okay? If I
read what you texted me?
Speaker 3 (51:05):
Absolutely okay?
Speaker 2 (51:07):
All right? You sure? Yeah, that's fine, Okay, you texted me.
These are your words you said, Uh, hey, Gek, I
want to talk to you about being a veteran slut
bag and getting chlamydia four times. I also need relationship advice.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Chlamydia is not that bad though, you just take a pill.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, chmydee is not that bad, especially if you have
health insurance. But I think just being a woman and
like the stigma around it, it can it can be
pretty difficult, depending on who gave it to you or
if you gave it to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
So okay, so yeah, where where where do you want
to start?
Speaker 3 (51:59):
Well, I guess we can talk about being a veteran floodbag.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
Okay, what does that? What does that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (52:13):
So basically, while I was in undergrad I'm currently twenty four.
While I was an undergrad, I was just going through
a really hard time and it pretty much bordered on
like sex addiction almost but not like I don't know, like, yeah,
it was debilitating, but I also just had a lot
(52:36):
of other things going on, a lot of mental health issues.
But we're past that now. So yeah, I went to
a party school, so I think that kind of like
created some influence.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
Did you have fun? Did you enjoy the time?
Speaker 1 (52:57):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (52:57):
Hell yeah, Okay, I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Okay, I mean it's our bi, it's I think I've
talked about this before, but look, you know, obviously it's
the thing you can get addicted to, for sure. You know,
I've been addicted. I've had t especially yeah, when I
was in college, fucking you know, addicted to the apps
and you know, addicted to you know, goooning and all
(53:20):
this kind of crap. But you know, it's one of
our like the only true like the only like default
meaning of life that we have is to survive and
have sex. Everything else is like we're adding on to it.
But that's what we're born with, is don't die and reproduce.
Speaker 3 (53:40):
Yeah, that's very true because like even growing up, like
my primary doctor was like, and this is like a
pediatric doctor. She was like, sexual desire is a very
normal thing, and I like was so weird out by it.
But I don't know. I was a pretty sheltered kid
growing up, so the moment I was on my own
(54:01):
and independent, it was like, holy shit, yeah, nobody can
tell me.
Speaker 2 (54:05):
No, right right, it's a weird thing, it is. I
find it so weird that I don't know how we
evolved like this, like societally, that one of our prime
like one of our two primary like uh, innate goals
is like taboo. You know, it's like under the it's weird.
(54:28):
Like eating and surviving that one is, you know, people
love talking about food and eating, but like you could
like like if like if you're like if you had
a food blog, right and you were like, look at
all this food that I'm eating and all the nutrients
I'm getting from it so I can continue to survive.
People be like, oh, that's cool. But if you started
(54:48):
a blog of like, you know, I'm having sex with
all these guys, people will be like what is this?
But it's like they're the same. It's just you enacting
the biological goals that we're not endowed with. It's weird.
They're like on the similar they're on the same level,
(55:10):
but they're treated so differently. It's weird.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Well, if you think about it too, like it's a
double standard because like from a woman's perspective, I mean,
it's twenty twenty five and there's the whole concept of
female empowerment and equality, and there's a different attitude when
women have a higher like body count. I hate that phrase,
(55:34):
but and like it's not okay, But when men do,
it's like, ah, you're the man, Like there's no problem
with that.
Speaker 2 (55:43):
Yeah, I think I feel like that comes from. Well, one,
I think that comes from like people just being like
jealous and angry, and then I don't that's the main
thing I think that comes from is just like again, yeah,
guys being jealous and angry or just whatever. This like
(56:07):
general cultural thing we have, even beyond the world of sex,
of just like people wanting to like judge what other
people do with their lives. I mean, where do you
think that goes from.
Speaker 3 (56:24):
Like judgment judging other people's like sexuality. I think that
just comes from like how you grew up, to be honest,
because like I don't know, I'm a I have a
psych major, and I'm currently in nursing school, so like
we learn a lot about you know, Ericson's theory of development,
(56:45):
and obviously Freud is a big one too. But that
nature versus nurture argument, I think initially, I mean, at
least for me growing up, it was never really talked
about and I was pretty shielded from a lot of things.
And but I think depending on if you make the
(57:08):
decision to you know, leave the nest and go to school,
and then you're kind of faced with other people's attitudes.
Speaker 2 (57:20):
Yeah, yeah, so that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (57:23):
Sorry, I'm like in shock right now because I'm like
been trying to call you and I'm like, oh my god, please,
and then I saw your number come up and I'm like, casp.
Speaker 2 (57:32):
So you you said you had a sheltered life, Like
what what? What did that look like?
Speaker 3 (57:39):
My parents were just very strict with me. I wasn't
allowed to like go to any parties in high school drinking, Like,
I wasn't allowed to do that. Like maybe I would
have a glass of wine at dinner, but that was
very few and far between. I had Life three sixty
on my phone throughout high school as well.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
Wait, what is Life three sixty?
Speaker 3 (58:03):
You know, like find my iPhone?
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Oh okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
It's like find my iPhone but I'm steroids.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
Oh okay. So your parents were like tracking your location
at all times?
Speaker 3 (58:13):
Yeah, And I don't know, we just didn't really. You
didn't really talk about like sex or consent or like,
I don't know, having boundaries like I wasn't really I
wasn't allowed to have my door closed or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
You never had like any kind of you never had
any kind of fucking privacy.
Speaker 3 (58:35):
No, my phone would be downstairs like at seven o'clock.
Speaker 2 (58:38):
At night so you couldn't even you couldn't even jack off. No,
that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (58:45):
I think the first time I did that, I was like,
I don't know, like nineteen, which is like horrifying, but
it's not horrifying bad, but like horrifying weird.
Speaker 2 (58:55):
Wo.
Speaker 3 (58:56):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Speaker 3 (59:01):
Somewhat? I mean it's it's very complicated because I have
a sister who's a lot older than me, so like
I spent a lot of time growing up like watching
how she navigated the relationships, so I kind of learned
like what to do and what not to do.
Speaker 2 (59:19):
Mm hmm. But how did your sister end up?
Speaker 3 (59:27):
Oh, she like moved away, like a few hours away, so.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (59:35):
But she's doing really good now. I mean she she
has her master, she has a really good job. She's
currently dating, so I would I would, I would say
she's pretty happy.
Speaker 2 (59:49):
So what is your life like? And what what is this,
uh relationship advice that you are in need of? I
don't know if I'm not good at really I don't
I try. I don't know if I'm that good at
relationship advice, but I'll try.
Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
Yeah, No, it's okay, I'm just grateful to even be
having this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
I'm sorry, what did you ask you? You well, you
texted me and you said I need a relationship advice.
Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah. So, like I have really bad
anxiety and PTSD and depression okay, and ADHD as well. Okay,
just like a whole Like I don't know, you know,
the guy with the trench coat and he's like trying
to sell you things out of the trench coat and
(01:00:37):
he's like, this is everything I got. What do you want?
Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Me, Okay, that's.
Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
Yeah. So there's this.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
Guy and it's been kind of like talking on and off,
but he has a very traumatic attachment to this girl
that he used to date, and he's like telling me
that he wants to take it slow and be friends
(01:01:10):
and all this stuff, and we hang out sometimes. It's great,
and I have a lot of feelings for him and
he knows that. And I've been trying to be like
open and honest but also not intense, which with having
such bad anxiety like I do, like I'm always seeking
that reinsurance and like I just never know how to
(01:01:33):
take it slow. And he wants to be sexual and
I'm like trying to slow that part of myself down
and just kind of like redirect my own behavior and
not given to it. So like I just don't know
if I should create some distance for him to heal
(01:01:53):
and give him that time, or if I should like
not abandon shit, but like.
Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
Give it a break.
Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
But he says that he really enjoys my company, and
like he says all these nice things.
Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Can I interrupt you for a second. Yeah, who is
whistling in the background behind you? Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
I have a bird?
Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Oh well, you have a bird?
Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
I thought that was like a guy.
Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
No, no, no, no, I have I have a talk
of teal.
Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Okay, he's like whistling like a human being. That's kind
of a that's uncanny.
Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
Yeah, he likes just saying if you're happy and you
know it, he says, what the fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
That he can talk.
Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Kind of it's not like talking talking like you know,
like with bigger parrots, like you can actually make out
complete sentences that they're making. Like he kind of he
understands his phonics.
Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
I'm so, I'm he really sounds like a real human
being that's whistling in the background. Okay, anyway, all right,
this guy, Well, I mean, look, this guy told you
you got to believe when you got to believe him
when he tells you these things, right, I mean, this guy,
he says he just wants to be friends. You two
are clearly uh not on the same level of investment,
(01:03:16):
or not even not on the same level investment. You
guys are on like different planets of investment. You're on
like opposites. And also you you haven't even known this
guy for that long have you?
Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
I mean we've known each other for I want to say,
like seven years.
Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Oh shit, Okay, have you like been in love with you?
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
And there's a lot of proximity and like overlap with
our friend groups.
Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Oh okay, So.
Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Yeah, I've like witnessed him through different relationships and like
I've heard things and I'm like, damn this man then
through the fucking ringer. But I'm not trying to like
six minute or anything either.
Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
Well, yeah, I mean I think that this stuff should
be easy. Right, So if there's this seems like there's
too much this seems like to be too much distance
between you guys in terms of what you actually are desiring.
And it's not like this is a guy that you've
(01:04:19):
been I mean, you've known him for a while, but
it's not like he's been your boyfriend for you know,
seven years and you want to try to bring things out.
So yeah, I would probably I would. I would. I
would uh do an audit to see if this relationship
is causing more of a benefit or more of a
strife to you, and then act upon that information.
Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
M hmmm.
Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
I think there's definitely like some benefit because I don't know,
I kind of take everything that I encounters the lesson.
I mean, I've been through years of therapy, so I
think the good thing about it is like I'm learning
how to slow down. But there's like that one part
(01:05:05):
of me that's like, dude, it's gonna move on, let's go.
It's not that deep.
Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
But yeah, but you can't. Yeah, but he's not. He
doesn't want you can't make him give that to you.
You know. Yes, he sounds like he wants to just
like chill.
Speaker 3 (01:05:21):
Yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Mm hmm. Where'd you get a bird?
Speaker 3 (01:05:31):
I got him from a like a mom and pop shop.
He's two years old. I've had him since he was hatched.
Now he's freaking out, but yeah, he's just he's just
a little baby.
Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
What's the rest of what's your life like outside of this?
After you graduated from school?
Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
So I graduated with my bachelor's in psychology. I am
a nursing student in an accelerated program, and I also
work at a law firm. So I'm all over the place.
Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
That's pretty good. All right, you got a good you
got a good life. Don't uh, don't don't get too
distracted from it. That's what I'll say. Yeah, you want
to say to the people of the computer before we go,
I'm sorry I cut you off. You're about to say something.
Speaker 3 (01:06:25):
No, it's okay. All I would say is wrap it
before you tap it and be kind to everybody because
you don't know what they're going through.
Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
Welcome. What's your name again, Maria, Maria, Thanks for calling Maria.
Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
Have a good day.
Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
Gek goes on the line
Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Every staging.
Host
Lyle Drescher
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