“MY MOM SOLD MY POKÉMON CARDS”

A caller reflects on the effects his social masking has had on his life, how his mom stole $100k of Pokémon cards from him, how he got thru a rough divorce, and other things. He was a really interesting guy and it was a great call. 

Afterwards I go on a very long Dave Ramsey-esque rant to an 18 year old about living at home to save money.

I might go get really into darts. I am a gecko.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, who is this.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
My name is Ivan, and thanks for taking my call there.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Of course, Ivan, you're so man, you're so polite.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
No, I get that a lot. It's most awkwardness, but
I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
You get this a lot, You get a lot that
you're polite.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yes, I would certainly say.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
So tell me more about that. Why do you think
you're so polite?

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Uh? Oh? Man, Well, I can go through the years
of therapy. But it's it's probably like a that's mechanism saying.
It's like a way to see not off putting, but
also kind of show the people, Hey, I'm a cool dude.
You can talk to me. I won't, you know, be
too terribly weird, you know, one of those sorts of
things interesting.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Interesting the way you phrase it, is it like, is
this a way of being that you have designed and
perfected or is it just something that came naturally to you.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh, it's absolutely a mask that has been perfected over
the years. That is without question. I'd say it's probably
not too fake of a mask. It's more like a
defense mechanism thing where it allows me to kind of
be friends with people that I meet in life and
I don't know I guess it's just always worked for me,

(01:18):
so I kind of stick with it and I kind
of like it in some ways. Some ways, by the ways,
that's not so great, but I think in most ways
it's Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
I'm sorry. I don't know if this is rude to ask, Okay,
go for it. Do you have Do you have autism?

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:34):
You know, I think that about myself, although I've asked
a lot and no one's in my therapy history like
made that diagnosis. If I am, and I do believe
I'm somewhere on the spectrum, it would be like probably
some form of high functioning thing. And if it's anything
deeper than that, it's probably something like, you know, verbal

(01:56):
communication is my thing, where like I hyper fixate on
how a much speaking, what I'm talking about, all this
other thing, you know, hyper aware how people are talking
to me, and basically all the typical queue based stuff.
But yeah, I'd say it's probably not too far Interuth.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Well, because I know that they were talking about you.
You know, do you watch do you watch the rehearsal
by Nathan Fielder? No, But I'm interested, okay, because they
talk about masking, they talk about autism on that show
and they talk about masking, and I know that that
is like a like like that's a thing.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, yeah, it's It's been brought up in past conversations
with you know, therapists I've had where I talk about that,
and the way it kind of comes back is, I mean,
it really depends on what era of my life, but
most of it has been like, hey, you know, you're
sort of trying to protect yourself while also trying to
be you know, the person you say you're trying to be,
which is difficult to deny yourself, to hold yourself to

(02:54):
like a high standard, all that kind of stuff. So
it's like anxiety induced but also like a seeming effective strategy.
But it's it's weird. I don't know, I just know
I'm I'm I'm a little kooky, and most people seem
to be okay with it.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Is is that exult like masking? And do you do
you feel like you're performing? Do you feel like you're
like having to put effort into existing in in an
intentional way?

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh? Yeah, definitely, if I mean I can be a
little more open and to say, like, you know, one
of the one of my little weird quirks is I'm
constantly talking to myself in very strange situations. You know,
I'm taking a shower, I'm walking down the road. I'm
constantly rehearsing conversations in my head with imaginary people or

(03:47):
real people in my life. And it's kind of like
a way to prepare myself for what I know to
be awkward conversation or a way to kind of like
feel the emotion ahead of time. You know, that's all
kind of been trained into me, at least to understand
the words for it. But I think it's been around
for a long time in my history of just how
I interact with people. But it does get very tiring.

(04:09):
Sometimes it can be opposite, depending on like the people
I'm around. I can be almost motive, almost energized by it, because,
like you know, if you're being kind of a kindly person,
other people kind of react to that in a kindly way,
and so it kind of perks you up. But on
the days where that's not quite so easy, you know,
the control I like to be in my computer room
and do my computer the things, so you know, just

(04:30):
just messing back.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Bro, you absolutely have to watch the rehearsal.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Okay, I'm I'm opening up the Googles.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Now, do you know do you know who Nathan Fielder is?
If you ever heard of Nathan for you, I.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
I haven't, and I'm pretty sure I need to. I
don't know things about the modern world I've been under
for basically all my life. So I'm happy to th
all about it though.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Okay, yeah, now you should, you should. You should watch
the rehearsal. It's well, it's extremely funny, but be maybe
it'll maybe it it'll you'll connect with it in that way.
But anyway, yeah, okay, So that's what I was gonna
ask you, is it's like that way of being where
you feel like you're performing and you you kind of
answer my question already. But that must be exhausting.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, yeah, And I'll tell you a part that I
don't quite like about it is oftentimes when it is exhausting,
it becomes almost a bit of a resentment sometimes, which
is where the therapy comes in, because there's a part
of me that tries so incredibly hard to kind of
be there for the other person, you know, to kind
of be at their conversational level, and if it's not

(05:39):
feeling like it's returned, well, there's you know, there's the exhaustion.
There's that you know, sort of feeling of, well, you know,
why aren't you trying in the same way I seem
to be trying. And then you know, sometimes it makes
you try harder, which is more tiring, and I can
already feel myself finally.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
M m hmmm. So that does that make you feel resentment?
It makes you feel Okay, So you're having a conversation
with someone and you're putting like all your fucking effort
into having this social interaction, and it's like taking everything
that you've got to have this social interaction, and you
can tell on the other ends that the other person

(06:16):
is not either having to or even wanting to, put
in as much effort as you're putting in, and then
that leads you to resent that person, is what you're.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Saying in a weird way. Yeah, and maybe it resents
the wrong word, but it makes me feel disconnected and
sort of even more awkward, you know, even more aware
of the fact that I'm doing what I'm doing. So,
you know, I guess some of my closest friends that
I've had in life have been people that don't make
me feel that way. I guess people that just kind of,

(06:49):
you know, automatically, I guess rock whatever it is, I'm
thrown at them. And you know, I think that's also
tell you why I tend to have I've had very few,
very close friends in life. I made lots of acquaintances
that lots of people, you know, very friendly to them. Uh,
and you can kind of get along with folks. But
in terms of close personal relationships, yeah, I know, it's
it's very admitted. In fact now is it's kind of

(07:12):
why I was I was calling in because it's sort
of related to what's going on in life now. Is
just I'm probably at the least number of personal connections
I have, and I'm just you know, reaching out to
the world to see what other people think about that.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
I guess I was actually about to say, I don't
think your situation is not uncommon by any stretch of
the imagination, because A it's dude, it's really in general,
no matter who you are, it's really really hard to

(07:47):
find people that you feel strongly connected with, that you
feel like get you, that you feel like even for
even for people who who don't have you know, strong
uh uh uh impulses to to to mask themselves. Like

(08:10):
for for it's hard to find people that you can
connect with. It's hard to find like the experience of
feeling like you're putting an effort into connecting to people
and that you're not getting it back. A. I've had
that experience in my personal life. Uh, constantly, constantly had

(08:30):
that experience in my personal life. And B I think
it's I think it's a a very universal experience. So
I don't I don't think. I don't know if that
makes you feel I don't know if that makes you
feel any better about the fact that.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
You're experiences weird. Yeah, I know it's because it's not.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
That's no, it's not a weird thing, especially because you
seem like, I don't know, I've only known you for
nine minutes or so, but you seem like a like
a like a smart, aware, you know, conscious person, And
when you're that, it's harder to it's harder to connect

(09:11):
with other people. It's just in you know. But on
that But the good news for people who have trouble,
you know, finding finding those connections is that when you
do find those connections, even if they're not you know,
on the quantity side of things, even if they're not

(09:33):
like a lot, they're they're very deep connections, and that's
worth that's worth a lot, you know, So you could
if you wanted to do a quantitative analysis of how
many friends you have, I think that that's a it's
it's not the right analysis to be doing, you know,

(09:53):
because it's if you if you find people that you
can connect with on a deep basis, I mean, that's rare,
I think, especially for you know, if you're if you're
you know, as as I get the sense that you are,
you know, a smart, conscious person.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, it's I I mean the longest friendship I've had
was since I was maybe fifteen or sixteen, and the
person I was friends with I would say I very
much had that connection with and because of going through
a lot of personal just sort of nonsense and choices,
I basically push that person away. And you know, it's

(10:31):
one of those things where I certainly try to re
establish a connection and and talk, but it's it is
very difficult because there's the connection to part of like, Okay,
well the person I am now the person that I was,
is it worth it. There's a fear to that. It's
a silly fear. I know, but I do miss having

(10:51):
that sort of a lot of connection. So at least
knowing that, hey, I am, in fact in a populace
of other humans are doing the exact same thing, and
get goes. I suppose it's not too it's not too bad.
It's good to them.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
Okay, so you said you specifically wanted to call in
to talk about this. Uh, I wanted to let you
speak your piece for a second, like what, yeah, what
exactly tell me like of the situation that you find
yourself in.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Okay, it's it's not too complicated, but it takes a
little bit of context. So if I go too long,
please just let me know.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
So the context is, you know, I mentioned I met
this friend when I was fifteen or sixteen, and he's
my friend. He was my friend until I was you know,
mid toly twenties. And the reason I met him was
I was playing a video game long time ago, Go
Darky Camelot, No anyone recognizes it, Go you. But at
the same time, I was also playing a lot of
card games Pokemon to TCG is, playing out the tournaments,

(11:57):
got lots of friends, you know, traveling the country kind
of thing, you know, and so you know, basically my
closest friend, my closest friends in general, my family kind
of revolved around this hobby that you know, put my
friends through college, put me through college because of scholarships.
You know, I had a lot of amazing stories of

(12:18):
mine come from being a part of this. And of course,
over that you know, period of time, I developed quite
a collection of just Pokemon arts. Never mind all the
other fun games, but just Pokemon cards, you know, for
well over a decade. So I mentioned, you know, going
through therapy. You all with different problems in life. And
in the last ten years, almost eleven, now, I was

(12:40):
in a very i'll just say, very unhealthy relationship and
I'm now seeking divorce from the person. But you are married,
and yeah, we were married, and it was not a
good choice I would say to do that, but I
did make that choice. Now I'm trying to help myself
by making that. I suppose, and I can tell you

(13:03):
details if you're interested, but that the relationship was really
what caused me to push away my friends, my family,
and a lot of other things just just in general.
So the reason I'm mentioning that is when I was
leaving that relationship and kind of trying to reach out
to family and friends. I reached out to my mother first,

(13:25):
and I was in Yankton, South Dakota, of all places,
and I met some friends there who played Pokemon really
all kinds of games, and I was really excited to
take my collection, and so, oh my gosh, it's been years.
I'm so excited to have this. I can't wait. Hey, Mom,
you know, can I can? I can? I can? I
come back home get my stuff and come back and

(13:46):
kind of heal and do this stuff with my friends
and a bit of silence, And through a very long
conversation I found out that two years prior to me
calling her, she had sold the entire collection for a
very princely some of one hundred thousand dollars, which is
actually a very undervalued amount what the collection was. What

(14:08):
fu Yeah, it kind of broke me.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
And that break that fucking breaks me. Man, goddamn, oh
my god, that's that breaks my fucking heart.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
So I.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
I it really sucks because I understand, or I was
made to understand, and I think part of the niceness
is where the problem comes. But that apparently they needed
the money of some kind, and I understand that but
that amount of money. And this is not to brag.
I'm not trying to put myself in another position. I'm
just saying that I could have helped them pay whatever

(14:47):
they needed for and they never contacted me. And the
reason they said is because, oh, well, you know, you
stop talking to us, and we didn't know if you
liked it anymore. And I kind of gave them about
a year to talk can kind of be around him,
And I realized in the last few months that I
really couldn't reconcile this. I really couldn't, you know. Uh,

(15:08):
it was it was. It was almost one of those
things that you know, strawbook broke the camel's back of
talking with them, because you know, in the last few years,
I've also seen the people they've become. They are not
very you know, They've always treated me with an amazing
amount of love and care and respect my entire childhood,
but as I grew in into an adult, I saw
their beliefs and habits change like a lot of people's have,

(15:30):
which is very unfortunate. And them having done that to me,
I realized was probably the biggest portrayal of my trust
and confidence and care of publicative ever experienced, and I
have almost no desire to ever talk to them again.
And it really hurts because the same person that you
know you sent a minute or two ago, was smart

(15:50):
and you know, willing to chat and be friendly, is
also struggling with not talking to his parents because of
you know what other people call a collection of cardboard,
you know, and so you know, I it's it's difficult
because I don't know what I want to do, how
I'm trying to do, what or why I'm doing what
I'm doing. I just know I don't feel good and
I'm trying to defend myself for the first time. But

(16:12):
really I saw him I wanted to kind of talk
about with Hey, listen, this thing happened to me. I
don't exactly know what to feel. These are the choices
I'm making and what does that sound like to you?
And from your first response it sounded like, yeah, kind
of a big deal. But please, now that I've said
everything and you can feel free to share wherever you
got there.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Well, a few things. One is you said, I you
it really caught my ear when you said this guy
who is uh uh? You said, I said, oh, this
guy who is uh?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Fuck?

Speaker 1 (16:44):
What did you say I'm polite and willing to talk
to people. He said, Oh, this guy is polite and
willing to talk to people, won't talk to his own parents.
First of all, human beings are immensely dynamic, so you
can be multiple, you can be multiple contradicting things once
and at different times and in different contexts, and you

(17:06):
know they're all true. So when I believe that, but two,
I mean, damn man, I'm sorry to hear that. I
know you know, just well, it's more than just cardboard, right,
It's like, hey, I mean your parents taking your shit
and then selling it. By the way, what kind of
Pokemon cars did you have that were worth one hundred

(17:27):
thousand dollars?

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Everything from the very first base sets and miss prints.
If you're a collector, you know, things like Shadowish chars arts.
I add a first edition one of those that's already
three thousand there, everything from the base set all the
way up to probably a few years past, the you know,
groupy Sapphire series.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
No, I think I think that's so fucked. I think
that's fucked man, your parents, I do. I think that's fucked. Well,
I can't. I can't tell you whether or not. You know,
I'm I can't ponder for you whether or not you
should have a relationship with your parents, but like I
do think that is fucked that they sold your Pokemon
cards for that much money. I mean, even if it

(18:11):
would be I would be if they threw them away,
you know what it's here the thing, right, if they
threw them away out of just ignorance, because they were
just you know, they're old, and they're like, uh, oh,
these are his old toys. He doesn't need these anymore.
Right if it was like if it was like that,
that would still piss me off on your behalf. If
it was like that, that would still piss me off

(18:32):
on your behalf. But at least you could chalk that
up to like ignorance, you know what I mean, Like
this was like to take them and sell them for
one hundred grand behind your back. That's fucked. That's like,
that's like willful fucked up nicks. You know it.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
It hurts. And the part that hurts the most is,
like you mentioned that, you know, when I was young
and even to late late young adulthood, I guess you know,
my mother was what I consider to be one of
my closest personal friends. I guess my father is a bit,
you know, a bit of a bit of a more strange person,
but you know, still loved him very dearly, and so

(19:10):
you know, I recognize, you know, when I had that
conversation that she was sad and she said, well, I
didn't really mean to. But the problem is, like the
relationship I have with them is that is that the
reason I feel this way is that this is something
that they chose to do because they knew that I
was the person that would just turn the other cheek

(19:31):
and accept their choice. And I know that myself, and
I know that that's already in my head, and I
know that that that they'd go, okay, well, if we
do this, all we have to do is say sorry
basically and be sad, and he would accept that. And
I know that they don't want to feel that either,
but I know that that's the dynamic, and I don't

(19:52):
want that in my life anymore. And it makes me
very sad. It makes me sadder than I've ever made
because I'm turning into a place well, I recognize that
I'm trying to change as the personally stronger, better, more connected,
and I'm aware of these choices they've made. But as
I've tried to talk to them about this, you know,
as I tried to bring it up, it was annoying
that the resistance, and in fact, the last time I

(20:13):
talked with my mother it was almost a three hour
screen match where and again there's very little extra context
to this, but because of she she I wasn't calling
her enough, she contacted my partner and said that if
I didn't contact her soon, she would call the police
for a wellness check. And I had just called here

(20:35):
and texted her like two days ago and constantly do
but this that, that over helicoptering or something, and it
just it snapped. And when when when I snapped? And
we got in an argument, which is unfortunately very common.
When we're like that, all the truth comes out, so
to speak, or at least the raw stuff, and she

(20:56):
said something that made me realize that, no, that's actually
how she felt. I said, you know, you know mod
this this thing you did, you know, you have to
understand it was a major portrayal. And one of the
reasons I have difficult talking to you is because I
don't know how to express this to you. And she goes, oh,
Jesus says that stupid collection again, and I realized that. Okay,
I understand you said it in anger. I understand you
said it meanly or you said it to kind of

(21:18):
express your whatever, But that meant that, really, deep down
you did think it was some stupid collection. It meant
that you had chosen the value or maybe it become devalued.
And I don't. I don't, and and I recognized it.
Then I recognize it now and it just hurts and
it it It both feels good to hear someone else going, yeah,
that's ridiculous, and also like, yeah, well you know why,

(21:42):
and that's kind of with it. It's just, you know,
I'm sitting here, supposed to go back to work in
a few minutes, and I just want to know, you know,
I don't know. I just wanted to share that and
ask questions and kind of get a response because, you know,
like I said, I totally recognize it's a collection of cards,
but to me, it was an identity. It was a
person that I grew through. It was something that I

(22:04):
could go to. Hell. I remember being crying in California
on the floor, thinking, you know, I'm in this terrible
relationship but I could think about this cool past that
I have and someday I'll get back home and I
look at those cards again and they were gone. You know,
I didn't even know about it. And so anyway, I'm
talking quickly.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
And I'm no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no,
no no at all. What's your name again? What's your
name again? Man?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Ivan?

Speaker 1 (22:31):
Ivan?

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yeah? Mmm?

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Do you just you fucking you just you just spit, bro,
you just I mean that was you really just spit
right just now?

Speaker 2 (22:44):
That was?

Speaker 1 (22:45):
That was? That was powerful. I'm I'm being that serious
because when you the way you said that, you were
like fuck sheet like that that that really it breaks
my heart man, Like when you were like, oh, she
knew that she could she could sell those cars because
she knew that I wouldn't put up a fight about it.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Quite really hurt when I've realized it hurt. So yeah,
I'm you know, I don't know that. That's just my
story in that now, I guess.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
I then, oh, man, I know you got to go
back to work soon. But what what else? What else
is going on in your in your life? I'm invested
in your art, I'm invested in your development. I'm I'm like,
I'm like, what's because you're yeah, man, well yeah, what's

(23:36):
going on? What else is going on in your in
your universe here?

Speaker 2 (23:41):
All right? Well I mentioned the divorce that's also been
weighing very heavily because uh got it. It's mentioned in ARC.
And all of a sudden, I thought back, like, it's
been this three years. What feels like is just un
ending BS. So okay, super long story as short as

(24:01):
they can make it. Three years ago the partner that
I'm divorcing from now and I decided to leave who
we were living in California and live on the road
and a trailer thirty five up the trailer pickup truck,
you know, driving around state state, living in the trailer
full time. I'm a software developer. Yeah we'll get there,

(24:22):
but living so software developer and I could work remotely
and do my thing. But when when you already have
problems in a relationship and then you put them in
a smaller box and you see that person even more
often with even less ability to have personal space or
work on problems, and the person you're with is already

(24:43):
sort of spiraling, it makes things worse. And I realized
in those almost two years that things weren't working. Constantly screaming, fighting, yelling,
all sorts of terrible stuff. And I snapped multiple times
mentally in terms of, you know, just screaming in a
Walmart parking lot, yelling at nothing because as my only outlet.

(25:08):
So that'll happen over the course of two years. And
I found myself in Yankton, South Dakota because of some
other nonsense not even worth just just just not more nonsense,
South Dakota with my partner at the time, and filed
for divorce because she was I was paying for her
to live in a hotel for months at that point,

(25:28):
I was also staying in a hotel. We swapped off
back and forth in the list. This is not a
relationship that I can I want to be a partner
of her try to fix anymore. So filed for divorce
and that was two years ago, and through three separate lawyers,
two of which had completely failed to life, remain in

(25:49):
contact with me, and just disordered to go. I didn't
know it was a thing, but you could totally be
ghosted by a lawyer and there's not much you can
do about it. If the lawyer just start stops, decided
to talk to you your own choices to get another
lawyer turns out, and so you know, I'm constantly fighting this.
You know, this this partner of mine who I fught
to mention this. But when I was still in South

(26:11):
Dakota and she was living in the hotel for a
while when I served with when she was served with
the papers a few days later, I found out she
called a friend of hers from California, who then flew
to Yankton. She showed up at the trailer's door that Saturday,
collected all their things, and decided to drive with this person,
drive with the truck that pulled the trailer to California,

(26:34):
effectively stranding me, stranding me in the state. And I
had you know, that's a whole nother story. But so
this is the kind of person, you know who makes
these sort of decisions. But the reason that card story
came up is because when I was dealing with being
stranded there and trying to go to therapy and trying
to find some something to stick to, I found a

(26:56):
friendly local game store. And in the family local game store,
you know, just owned by a few friends and parents
of that I met them at the time, but just
incredibly welcoming, incredibly caring people. You know, and you mentioned
how how rare it is to find someone to connect with.
It is amazing you said that, because it's exactly what
I found. I found a friend who I'll keep his

(27:19):
name because I don't want to, you know, I don't
want to assume these He's okay with being talked about.
But I've already mentioned the city and states of oops.
But the idea is I very much connected with these people,
and one person in particular was an incredible, incredible boon
to my life. And uh, it was because of that
that I called my parents and said about the thing,
realized the cards, and you know, I was doing okay

(27:41):
because I had them in my life. But since then,
I've moved on from the state to another states because
I couldn't, you know, being in the same trailer at
the same spot for a year and a half after
seeking divorce was like, I can't stay here anymore. So
I moved now in Minnesota for a little while.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
But I mean, that's that's.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Like as short as I can make the last few
years and a bunch of weird stuff, but it's it's
why I'm calling anybody who will listen. Is because you know,
I have all these weird things. It's very hard to
find someone who has a similar lifestyle that could relate,
or who even wants to listen. And you know, it's
so strange. Sometimes it sounds completely unreal. It does to me,

(28:20):
and I I don't know. I'm I'm the kind of
person that needs data points to kind of figure out
who and what I'm doing and why. So that's that's
kind of where I am now. I'm in Minnesota asking
a gecko how the heck I be a human? So that.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Okay, sorry, if I just want to make sure I'm
understanding the current. Do you do not still live in
a trailer? No?

Speaker 2 (28:50):
No, I I moved out of the trailer and I'm
actually currently living with someone else now, which is also
part of the difficulty.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Person a romantic someone else.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, it's romantic. And just to be completely transparent and open,
you know, I met this person many many months after
I filed her divorce. After the person after my partner
has gone to California never to be seen or heard
from again.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Basically, and how are things going with this person?

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Pretty well? I find that my relationship scars continue to
come up it once in a while, and uh, and
you know in terms of like expecting fights when I
don't need to having habits that I shouldn't have because
I'm dealing with someone who was abusive. But you know,

(29:45):
together we're we're we're doing okay. And I think, you know,
they also are very understanding. I've also told them the
whole story and they completely understand it. You know, oftentimes
they were much in my corner two with you know,
what's going on, and I try to make sure that
they're aware of what's happen. And it's also helped me understand,
you know, it's what I'm going to normal or at
least do you do you see my behavior as at

(30:08):
least reasonable host what I'm going through. Most of the time,
I just get a long stare. I'm like, yeah, you're
doing okay. But you know, the constant questioning is a thing.
So yeah, m hm hm hm.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Hmmm. You're asking Gecko how to be a human? What
is that? What is? What does what does that mean?
To you? Like I'm trying like if and I don't
know how much of what you I don't know how
much of that is is is tongue in cheek, But
what is what is that journey of I am trying

(30:42):
to be a human? What is that? What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (30:48):
I am very much convinced the only thing that I
don't have the ability to ever know while alive is
what it means to be alive. Like, I don't know
WHATSS is. I have no idea what it is, how
it defines me. I just know I'm here and I'm
experiencing it.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Yes, so yes, I've been told.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
And I've read and I've lived as much as I have,
and basically everyone says, well, everyone's got their own place
in the universe. So you know, maybe if I can
constrain down what I need to worry about to just
like the human stuff, maybe that'll make me okay on
the long run. Like if I don't have to hear
about the metaphysical stuff and the space travel and all
the other things I like, I just worry about the

(31:30):
eating and the breathing and the other life stuff, maybe
I'll have an easier time. And you know, I'm an experimenter,
so I like reaching out to whatever and anything I've
can find, and that includes I guess interspecies communication.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
It is funny. We're actually engaging in a form of
interspecies communication right now.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
That's true, true.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
So I actually I get you on a lot of
what you just said. Of yet you can literally this
has literally just been my my arc for the year
is that you can absolutely lose your you can endlessly
lose yourself in pondering over the metaphysical and pondering over

(32:17):
consciousness and those things and people, many people throughout the
history of existence have get this. Spent their entire lives.
They didn't have personal lives, they didn't have Many people

(32:38):
have spent and to this day, spend their entire lives
prodding at those questions professionally and writing about them and
exploring them and reading about They spend their whole lives.
And you know what, they never come out with an answer.
They never there's the ever come out with an answer.

(33:01):
I don't know if they ever will. I don't know,
if I don't know, if you know, humans came up
with a lot of answers. We came up with, like
you know, we we get to tell the story of evolution.
We get to tell a lot of stories. There's a
lot of things that we don't have answers to like
like what you're saying, like the metaphysical, the consciousness stuff,

(33:23):
that stuff is gonna be answered by beings more conscious
than us than we that we can't understand. Maybe it's
the fucking AI supercomputer ship that is gonna answer. Maybe
it's that and we but it's not. It's not gonna
be us. We've determined it's not a and but we
got to answer a lot of questions. We got to
do a lot, we got to answer. We got to

(33:46):
we like like, I was watching some fucking YouTube video
about evolution and this guy's like, this guy's like really
understanding his place in the universe as a human, and
he's like, whoa, it's so cool all this shit happened,
and we are the species that gets to tell they
to tell the story and and all the metaphysical stuff.

(34:07):
I genuinely just think we're not you know, our species
and whatever our consciousness is. I don't think we're gonna
be the ones to answer those questions. It's probably gonna
be like, uh, you know, whatever, the whatever chat GPT
looks like in a thousand years is gonna have answers
to those questions, but not not us. So so listen.

(34:30):
If it's so fascinating to you and so cool to
you and pulls you in its direction to think about
these things, and you feel honored as a human and
as a conscious being to be pulled in those directions,
and you're being pulled in those directions from places of
love and from positive emotions, then it's a great it's

(34:51):
a great place to be pulled. But if you're being
pulled to them by OCD and fear and uh, oh god,
I need to have an answer to these things or
else I'm not gonna be okay. You're you're, you're running
a fool's Errand because there's no you, you, you must
accept that your your, your consciousness in its current form

(35:13):
and its current biological state, ain't getting there. Many people
tried forever and they never got there, and they never
will get there because it's impossible. It's beyond us. And
so again, if you're being pulled in those directions from
a positive place, from a place of love, it's great,
it's an honor. But if you're being pulled at them
from a place of fear and anxiety, it's like you're you're,

(35:35):
you're chasing a fucking dragon. You know you're never gonna
get there, so so accept that and then be like,
uh uh, I'm gonna explore these things from positive place
and then focus on the human side of your life,
which is connecting with other people and eating food and

(35:59):
and and drink water and playing fucking Pokemon.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, I'll tell you. I I I'm unfortunately have to
go now. But I rarely want to say that. That
perspective you said about it's so I guess respectively, it's
it's okay that you know I'm not going to figure
out the hard stuff is a perspective I wasn't ready

(36:24):
to hear, and I'm happy to hear it, which it
wasn't great, I'm happy. So so listen. I let thank
you very much to you and group to letting me
just go on for a while. I feel mentally better
for having chatted with anybody about it, and again, just
thank you for your time. And I hope you and

(36:44):
the viewers and anyone else listening have have a wonderful
everything else they have.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
So thanks, thank thank you very much. Having good luck
to you man. Cheers, Okay, take care, take care Ivan. Damn.
I like that guy a lot that I was cool. Yeah,
like I was cool. I I I hope, I don't know,

(37:12):
I hope, I hope. I hope he is he lands
in good directions, uh for himself and figures figures some
of this ship out. Yeah, I know I clicked on.
I clicked on what he was talking about with like
the obsession over the metaphysical ship because whatever, everyone, I
don't shut up about my existential crisis on this podcast,

(37:35):
but that's a lot of what it was about. And
I even expressing that, even like I even talking to him,
just now expressing that. I like, I like, like, in
this moment that I'm recording this ship, it's clicking to
me that that's the fucking that was that Like that,
that's the sauce, right there is. I was obsessed with

(37:58):
those things on a you know, a from a fear
based state, you know, looking trying to like calm anxiety
by finding by looking for something that doesn't exist. But
you can't do that because it doesn't exist. So yeah, uh,

(38:26):
what what else? Pokemon? Pokemon are good, They're cool. I
feel you know, I feel I feel bad for Ivan,
but I don't want to throw pity at him because
I think he's just smart, do I say, Adam, I
know his name is Ivan. Phil. I don't want to
throw pitt pity at Ivan because I know he's a
smart guy and I and I think he'll I think

(38:51):
he'll persevere in some way. It's hard. It's hard if
you're a smart guy like that to find other people
to connect with. But he's got a lady in his life,
I think from what he said, Yeah, I don't know.

(39:11):
That's a tough one. But I really enjoyed having that conversation. Hello, Hey,
what's up man? What's your name? Aiden?

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:23):
This is the therapy gyek Oh.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Yeah, oh yeah, this is yeah, dude, we've never spoken before,
have we. No?

Speaker 3 (39:32):
No, I've been a big fan of you for years. Man,
it lives for a while.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Oka. Guess that's so cool. You know what's funny is
I I gotta I gotta be so honest with you, Aiden,
I this is just an expression of my life arc is.
I think I only I think I only started to
be I only think I think I only started to
be able to enjoy this whole thing recently. I think

(39:57):
I was. I think for most of it, I was
so caught up in the stress of it that I
couldn't like really sit and enjoy it, and only and
recently I've I've been just like, oh, this is a
cool thing to exist in, you know, because when you're
like trying to i don't know, like build something up,

(40:19):
stressful and you're you're in the moment of it too
much and so you can and you can't really enjoy it.
But lately I'm enjoying it, Like in this, I'm like, oh,
this is so cool that to have, especially yeah, after
five years, to have someone listening for for that long. Anyway,
I'm sorry, I'm I'm I'm really I'm really sucking myself
off right now. So I'm gonna I'm gonna no, I'm

(40:42):
sucking myself off. I'm sorry. I take back everything I said.
I I I yeah, I'm sucking myself off. What's up
with you?

Speaker 2 (40:49):
Aiden?

Speaker 1 (40:50):
How's life?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
I'm pretty good?

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Man.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
Oh that is a bit weird right now. So I
just graduated last year and until he's like, I think, yeah,
last year. I'm kind of like in between trying to
figure out stuff in my life and stuff with jobs
and just personal life, trying to fit into everything that's new.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
I guess.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
What's new?

Speaker 3 (41:13):
Well, I just started working with my dad. So I
used to work at Starbucks and I worked there for
a while. But then my dad he does like this
den repair thing, and so he needed help with the
business because my cousin originally worked with him, but he
went to a different state to start working somewhere else,
and so I'm now working with him, and so it's
a whole There were different schedules that used to be
only like night shift and stuff like that. So waking

(41:34):
up early in the morning, it's nothing I'm not used to.
But also just being on the heat a lot more.
And I live in a desert, so it's like a
hundred degrees especially in the summer.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
This is real hot out here.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
What are you in Arizona?

Speaker 3 (41:46):
No, No, I'm a I'm in a Vegas.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Oh shit, okay, So what's your dad's business that you
work for him doing?

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Oh well, so he does like painless den repair. He
works to like a couple of the rental companies out here.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
And before that, you were at Starbucks.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Yeah, yeah, before that was we're going at Starbucks. My
buddy he got a job at Starves and he got
me the job there.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
I mean, which is fun.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
Probably the most social job I've had in a while. Now,
it's kind of more We're just trying to figure out
what to do with myself because I enjoy what I'm
doing working here, but outside of this, I'm not really
doing anything. I'm kind of still trying to figure out
what I want to do a long term.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
I guess what.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
I what have you been What have you been thinking
about in your thinking? What have you been leaning towards?

Speaker 3 (42:33):
Man, There's a few things here and there I've been
thinking about. Like, I know, private investigation is sometimes been
interested into looking for, but I'm not one hundred percent sure.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
You want to do you want to become a private investigator?

Speaker 3 (42:47):
Yeah, it's always seem like a something I would probably
enjoy doing. I think I don't just seem cool. I
guess I don't know. I don't really have an exact
go online.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Why do I feel? I feel like Vegas is ripe
with like private and investigators that like that, like investigate
whether or not like guys are cheating on their wives
with strippers and ship.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Most likely honestly like people. The fact that people get
married out here is kind of crazy to you to
go with it.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Why don't you go why don't you apprentice, Why don't
you go find a private investigator? That would be sick man. Yeah,
that's what you should do. That would be so cool. Yeah,
you should go to find a private investigator in Vegas.
And uh, he's like, so you want to get into
the PI business? Do you think you're ready? And you
have to submit to him and he may he makes
you like go fetch him cigarettes and stuff like he

(43:37):
hazes you. Like that is actually legitimate suggestion, is you
could go be a pledge for some other some like
you ever seen Nathan for you?

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Uh no, it doesn't ring a bell.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
Like that, Brian wolf guy.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
I think so maybe that could be cool.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
What do you do? What do you know? What do
you usually do when you're not painting painting houses? I'm sorry,
did you say painting houses? Or am I making that up?

Speaker 3 (44:07):
Well, you're actually kind of you're kind of close in
the nose. I do paint touch up.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
On cars, Okay, okay, but yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
Just do looking to your recon and all that, which
is actually what I'm doing right now.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
What else do you think you might want to do
with your life? Aiden?

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Honestly, I really don't know. I'm still trying to think
of ideas and stuff like that, and it doesn't really
help because I got a little bit of pressure for
my family on it, maybe because stuff like I've thought
of in the past don't pay that well. And my
parents are very like, oh, if he isn't making more
than this and that, I don't want you doing it
and this and that, And they don't mind if I
go or do like They don't mind if I do

(44:46):
or don't do college or do a trade, just something
that's going to pay more than what I'm gonna be
more or what my dad's already making, you know, And
he makes a good amount of money, and so it's
kind of the pressure almost being like I don't know,
it's not the pressure just being like him, I guess,
but I don't mind. My dad's an amazing guy, and
I always strived to be like him as a person,

(45:08):
but what he does is a lot of hard work,
and I don't know if I'm cut out for it.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
How old are you?

Speaker 3 (45:15):
I'm about to turn nineteen, like next month.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
All right, cool? Cool? Interesting? What were the things that
you were saying that you want to do that don't
make a lot of money.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
For a while, I always wanted to bartend, but obviously,
you know, I'm not twenty one and close to that
for a little while if they ain't coming to the
option yet. But I know my parents my fans kind
of inhaled me by that idea, and maybe we're gonna
start just kind of scratch at inch of ba. So
I'm not really as wanting to you know already the
drink making all that, and I still don't mind trying
to do that, but I don't know, I just don't

(45:49):
have any big goal ideas yet.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
I love, but you sound like you really enjoy like, uh,
front facing dream you like you some people, some people
their dream is to to work from home and never
see another human being ever again. But you sound like
the opposite, where you're like, I want to be in
like a front facing social job.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Yeah, that would be nice. I mean it's because like recently,
you know, just recent gaing out high school ast year,
I'm just like not as social or just realizing how
well me it actually is when you're not doing stuff
with other people. Like I've been trying to figure out
that out for myself too, because like out of work,
I'm doing nothing. I'm like, I go home I'm kind
of I'm just playing video games and sometimes I'll maybe

(46:34):
hang out with a friend once a week, and so
I'm like, I want to go out and meet people.
I want to go and do things. But if you're
not like above twenty one in Vegas, there's not much
to do out here that isn't burning hot.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
Yeah. Well, I, by the way, I actually think being like,
oh I want to be a bartender, Like, I think
that choosing your career path based on like what you
think will put you in physical proximity to the most
amount of other people. Is I I genuinely do think
that is smart. I do think that is smart. I

(47:09):
get what your parents say though about you know, you
want to do some ship where there is some form
of like upward mobility so that you can you know,
you know, you know, you don't want to be like
stuck making ship money for forever and ever.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Yeah, that's yeah, that's kind of that's a fair point.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
But but but I it is interesting though, because there
are and so what you're are you going to go
to college?

Speaker 3 (47:42):
I think you maybe signing up the community college out here,
but not really for the courses of me maybe trying
to go to meet people. I think that's just an
hitch I kind of need to scratch because like I
don't know, man, maybe because like it's been a while
thing that like I've hung out with people like new
people because I don't know. I love my friends, like
we're all great, but it's just been a while.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
I guess.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah, I mean, you have you have reasonable goals. You
want to make money and you want to be around
other people, is what I assume are your goals.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Yeah, it's kind of a goal. But also the one
thing I struggles to that goal for me personally is
just taking that first step for a lot of things,
because like I'm real lazy on taking that first step
and just don't end up doing it, or just I
don't know, not knowing how to do it because I
see people do it so easily, and it's just like
I don't understand. Like maybe there's a lot of more
mental struggle I put myself for I'm thinking, oh, what

(48:36):
if this does happen, or what if this happens, you know,
and I break it down way too much, even though
it could just be done in the second by the
time already breaking down.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
Wait, hold on, what are you spiraling? About like when
you say you see other people do it easy? What
are you talking? What are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Like telling people like like people are taking the first
step to go do something so like something they've always
want to do for a while. I feel like I
got to family members at me, so you know what,
just socide and just go do it. They don't overthink
about it, They don't really think about it too much.
They can go ahead and do it, even the fear
of failure. They know that, but they still go ahead
and do it.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
Give me, give me, give me an example from your life,
like what are you what are you scared to go do?

Speaker 3 (49:20):
I don't know, man, maybe it's more scared of making
direct change, like trying to think. Here, I don't like,
like you said, already socializing thing. I'm afraid to approach
people sometimes because I'm not obviously I'm not hundred percent
sure what the reaction is going to be. And I
don't mind talking like friend and wide. I don't mind that,
but it's like talking. I don't have to go talk

(49:41):
to a girl, for example, Like I don't know if
I'm ready to even do that first step. I'm nervous
about that.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Man. Interesting, Well, I feel like the whole this whole
idea of like, yeah, you know, I'm thinking about this
because you the whole idea of like, oh I'm a
to approach. You know, it's more about you're you're focusing
on like the stress of like one single interaction, where uh,

(50:13):
the real sauce is attempting to design your life in
such a way that you are naturally in spaces with
other people repeatedly, which is how you make friends and
meet girls and do all that shit. So yeah, and
that's easy when you're in high school because that's just

(50:35):
naturally done for you. And then when you get older,
it gets it gets harder. But if you're intentional about it,
you it's you can do it. And especially because you
live do you live like in Vegas proper or you
like a little bit out on, a.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
Little bit outwards like not exactly in direct Vegas, but
a little bit hours to the other cities around it.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
You got a car, Yeah, I do.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
You've got a new one recent so my old one
just mean transition went to junk.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
All right, okay, all right, so you're clean. I mean,
you live in a major city and you have a car,
and you what you're you just graduated high school, so
you're a little you're a little in between ship right now.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
Yeah, that weird in between like figuring out your life
after high school and also just trying to figure out
who you are to what you want to do. It's
that weird in between, I guess.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yeah, m hm.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Hm hmm.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Well, I mean there's a lot of there's a lot
of things like you do you do you what? What
do you can say?

Speaker 2 (51:40):
All right?

Speaker 1 (51:40):
For like for the money part, right, for the money part,
what are you thinking about wanting to do?

Speaker 2 (51:46):
You know?

Speaker 1 (51:46):
Because there's you could go to fucking trade school, you
could you could join your dad and painting ship.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
You know.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Yeah, I mean, honestly, money wise, probably joining wound be
the better option because huh, it's a little bit the
hard vest to get into and with someone like my
dad who's been in for a while, I can get
a really good hands on for it. The money why,
it would be great for me, But I don't know
if I would really enjoy doing it. But I don't
know how much can you really enjoy a job, because

(52:16):
at one point it's gonna get repetitive no matter what
you do, right, and you're eventually gonna get bored of it.
Even something you really enjoy, it's gonna feel dull. That's
what kind of sucks.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Well, well, I actually your situation specifically, I got a
few thoughts on it because you live with your parents
right now.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
Yeah, I'm live with my parents.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
See you gotta see I I'm looking at your situation
right Okay, so you're not and you're not planning on
and you can just go right into this and you
don't have to go to college and you don't have
to ac crew a bunch of debt and all that shit.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yeah no, no, no, at least I'm trying not to
get into any debt and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
So look, I'm just if I I'm gonna lay this out.
This is I feel like I'm talking. I feel like
i'm your dad right now. I don't know why, but
I do like I like thinking about this stuff. So
I'm engaged. I'm interested in your life. I like thinking
about these things because all right, okay, all right, I
actually do feel like I'm qualified to ponder this with

(53:18):
you in some way, shape or form, which is that
you actually have a great situation because it because what
a lot of people your age do is they go
to college because it's what everyone told them to do.

(53:39):
And they spend four years and you know, they have
fun and you know, maybe party or maybe they don't
or maybe they you know, it's not that linear of
a thing. But you go to college and then you
graduate and oh no, you picked a stupid You graduated
in like you got an English degree or something, or
even a degree in like something that you're like a

(54:01):
marketing degree or something. And you graduate and now you
and now you're twenty two years old and you're in
a mountain of debt and you're going into a job
market that is like so deeply stacked against you, and
it's hard, right, but you you have an interest, you

(54:24):
have a new other, you have a different option that
you could do, which I think is an it's interesting
to explore. Now, Look, if you told me, if you
were like, I really want to become a doctor. I
really want to become a lawyer. I really want to
I don't know, I'm trying to think of other biologists.
I really wanted to get into science. If you're telling
me that, if you're telling me those things, then then yeah,

(54:46):
it's worth it to go to college and get it,
rack up debt, and do whatever the fuck you're gonna do.
But if you're sitting here like, I got no fucking idea,
I just want to be around people and exist. Right,
you're in a cool position because you could go work
with your dad for four years and live in your parents'
house and save and every fucking penny that you make

(55:11):
from your dad, you can save for four years. Right,
for four years, you can work with your dad and
maybe whatever whatever, whether or not you like the job. Okay,
what is it?

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Well?

Speaker 1 (55:21):
How along would this job is? Is like a nine to five?
What kind of job? What are the hours? On this phone?

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Kind of like a nine to five? I worked in
like well, like five am to like five pm, like
five am Friday, Yeah, Monday.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
So twelve twelve hours Monday through Friday.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
So here's what you could And because you're eighteen, you
can physically do this. If this is what you want
to do, you could spend the next Listen, you can
spend the next four years. You work Monday through Friday
with your dad. You grind it out, okay, and you
save all working Like what how many hours a week?

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Twelve times five? What's twelve times sixty.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Yeah, I think that's sixty.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
That's sixty, okay, And then you could, dude, you can
save spent four years living in your parents' house. You
save all that money, right, you save all that money,
and that's what? What's four years? I don't know? What
do you? What do? What do you can?

Speaker 2 (56:23):
I ask?

Speaker 1 (56:23):
You don't have to share if you don't want to.
What do you make with this job?

Speaker 2 (56:28):
I make?

Speaker 3 (56:29):
Well, it's not really per hour, since it's kind of
more of a family situation, since all right, business, okay,
I make like one hundred.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
A day, okay, one hundred a day working six, working
twelve one hundred a day working twelve hours. Yeah, what
does that come out to? Hold on?

Speaker 3 (56:46):
It's like, I know, that's five hundred a week, five.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
One hundred dollars. What is it's one hundred divided by
twelve eight dollars. You gotta you gotta negotiation. You gotta
negotiate that with your dad, my friend, because that's because
what what is? What's Nevada minimum wage?

Speaker 3 (57:08):
Let me google this, honest, I think it's pretty low.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Nevada minimum wage. It's twelve dollars. Okay, your dad's paying
you all right. If I were all right, if I
were you, I would do a couple of things. First,
is you got to negotiate with your dad to pay
you at minimum Nevada minimum wage. Yeah, your dad's gotta
get you. Got your dad's gotta get you. Uh Nevada

(57:33):
minimum wage? Is this your is your dad's business, right?

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Yeah, it's his business?

Speaker 1 (57:38):
All right? Tell your dad. Tell your dad he's got
to pay you Nevada minimum wage, which is at least
twelve dollars and what's the federal minimum wage? Fifty fifteen?
Now I think st think it's like, oh okay, god damn.
The federal minimum wage is still seven to twenty five,
all right, But the Vitta mintum wage twelve dollars an hour.
So get your dad to give you at least twelve

(57:59):
dollars an hour, all right. So if that gives you
twelve dollars an hour and you're working ten hours a week,
that's what, No, not ten hours a week, I'm an idiot.
Sixty hours a week, sixty times twelve, all right, So
you're making like said, al right, So if your dad
can give you like seven hundred and twenty dollars a week,
all right, if you can negotiate that with your dad.

(58:19):
That's an vitta minimum wage.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
All right?

Speaker 1 (58:22):
What is that times fifty two? All right, it's thirty
seven thousand dollars a year about before taxes. I have
no idea what the taxes are on that, but whatever,
all right, all right, So if you do that for
four years, okay, what's that? Time's four Okay? Now you
have okay, one hundred and forty nine Okay, that's one

(58:43):
hundred and forty nine thousand dollars. Most eighteen year olds,
over the course of four years go. I don't know
what the exact numbers are, might be exaggerating, but a
lot of eighteen year olds spend four years going one
hundred and forty nine thousand dollars into debt and you
could live it. You could spend the next four years

(59:05):
saving up one hundred and forty nine thousand dollars. I
don't know if you have to pay taxes on that,
and you probably are gonna want to, you know, pay
for gas and whatever you're gonna you'll have expenses. It's
not gonna be one hundred and four nine thousand dollars exactly,
but you might. But dude, bro you could save up.
Like I'm thorrowing, I'm pulling numbers out of thin air.
But you could be you can graduate. You could graduate.

(59:27):
You could be twenty two years old and you could
have seventy thousand dollars saved up. Most people that age
are like seventy thousand dollars in debt, you know, And
and get this and get this and get this. What's
your name again? Aiden?

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (59:43):
And get this? Aidan? Is is is during that whole time? Okay,
you wake up five am and then you work until
five pm. You have a car, right, mm hmm, you
could fuck it. What do you like to do, Aidan?

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Well, like my free time?

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Yeah, just in general? What do you like to do?

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
I had to play I had to play guitar like hangouts,
friends play video games or play guitar. Yeah, I used
to play a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
But you could see you what you could do? You
could and then okay, five pm? Right, for the next
four years, you get off at five pm and you
just start going to local like you're not big concerts
that cost a bunch of money, but you could just
get you could dive into the local Nevada. What kind
of music do.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
You like I'm I'm a big fan of indie music.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
You like any music, you, I guarant fucking tee you
that all around the all around Vegas, in the suburbs
or whatever. I guarantee you all around Vegas. There are
plenty of indie local music shows going around at shit
ass dive bars that are like fifteen dollars admission. Okay,
you could spend. You could spend every night of your

(01:01:02):
you spend every day of your life for the next
four years. You go into work, okay, and then you
get off at five pm, and then you drive to
a local indie concert and you pay fifteen bucks okay,
or and you you whatever gas costs. It's pretty low expenses.
And then you get involved in the local indie music scene.

(01:01:26):
And then all of a sudden, after like one year,
you start showing You show up at these concerts, and
then you have now you have and you're like, oh, hey,
what's up, man, I've seen you before. Oh hey, oh
maybe maybe there's some girl. And it's like, oh hey,
i've seen you before, you know, and then all of
a sudden, you have all of a sudden, all of
a sudden, because you keep showing up, you start to
see the same people around the same concerts. Okay, and

(01:01:48):
then and then now you have a little community. Okay,
and so you fucking and the whole time you're living
in your parents' basement. You're not paying for rent, you're
not paying for a walk, you're not paying for any
of this fucking shit. Okay, And you're saving up all
the money you're spending money on like food, and we

(01:02:10):
go into these indie shows, and you know, you take
a girl out to Chipotle every now and then. Okay,
and then and now you've spent now four years, now
you graduate, Okay, Now, now you're twenty two, and picture
this you have Okay, you made one hundred and forty
nine thousand dollars from your dad over the course of

(01:02:33):
four years. Again, most people are spending that going into debt. Okay,
you have one hundred. Now you have seventy grand. Let's say,
I don't know, I'm just gonna say that because you
saved it, because you saved up and you know, but
you don't have a degree, But you have a lot

(01:02:53):
of work experience, You've met a lot of people from
the indie music scene. You have no idea what kind
of career opportunities could come from that. Someone could be like, oh,
hey I need an audio engineer to fucking do this
whatever fucking thing, or hey, my band is going on
tour and we need a roady to go. You know,
it's tons of opportunities to do that. You're gonna be
meeting people, I'm sure through working for your dad. Okay,

(01:03:13):
opportunities could come through that. And you have seventy thousand
dollars of a safety net in case if you want
to go start your own business, or if you do
decide you want to go to a trade school or whatever,
and the whole and you didn't have to just spend
the whole four years doing nothing with your life. You know,
you have you, You'll you'll have a you'll have a

(01:03:34):
beautiful Wednesday where you got you. You're working all day
and then at night you go out to this local
indie concert whatever. Maybe you meet some people, maybe you
guys go out for you. Still you still live in
your life the whole the whole time, You're still living
cool young guy life. It's this is this that's yeah,

(01:03:55):
this is me just getting excited about that's what. That's
that's how I view your situation is you're this is
perfect because you get to save money and you still
get to live cool young guy life. You know, because
you're because you're lucky enough.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
That a great way of looking at it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:09):
Yeah, you're lucky enough that you had not everyone has.
You know, I was lucky too. I'm lucky. I have
parents that let me fucking live in their in their
house after college. If you're like, if you're lucky enough
to have that, god damn, take advantage of it. You know,
you're lucky enough to have a dad who's willing to,
you know, set you up in the thing, and the

(01:04:30):
parents that'll let you hang out in their house. You know,
take you take advantage of that. You can live a
cool life over the next four years, save a bunch
of money, and make a bunch of friends. And uh, yeah,
I've been going on a ramp. But that's that's what
I would do. That's my advice.

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
Yeah, I honestly, i'most take your advice and the whole
tire because that's all. It's both my issues. I guess
it was meeting people and trying to figure out what
to do long term.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Right because well cause it's because you can have both.
Because you go work for your dad, and then you know,
you're nineteen years old, you can work for twelve hours
a day and then go out and party afterwards, because
you bought your body can take it. So so you
so that you have your job for twelve hours a day.

(01:05:20):
That solves your money issues, and then you have some
form then and then on top of that, you find
some form of community in the major city that you
live in and just keep showing up to that, and
then that fills up both of your your things and
then and then some people might be like, well, if

(01:05:41):
he doesn't get a degree, then how's he gonna well
long term, you're twenty If again, if you have having
I genuinely think I genuinely believe having no debt and
a shit ton of money saved up and no degree
is so much better than graduating from college with a

(01:06:05):
bunch of debt and like a ship marketing degree. And
that's just this is what I believe. It would be
different if you were like again, it'd be different if
you were like a lawyer or a doctor or some
ship and you needed to do it. But anyway, yeah,
that's what I think about your life. Thanks for letting me.

(01:06:28):
I'm on. I'm a I'm on a lot of I
upped my vibeance dosage a little bit. So you called
it a perfect time to rant about these things.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
I enjoyed it. Man, that was a that alos a
great advice SPECIFIC had in a while. Run situation. I
think might really start doing that cool.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Yeah, No, let me know if Yeah, you got you
gotta play hardball with your daddy though, you gotta, you gotta,
you gotta tell you here's what you should here's what
you can do. You can actually work for him for
like a little bit, and then tell him that you'll
report him to the labor board. No, don't report your dad.
Don't report don't don't report your dad to the labor board.
Don't report your dad to the labor board. But uh yeah,

(01:07:10):
just asking me if he can pay you minimum wage?

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
Yeah, well, as I guess I should have that talk
with him though about figuring out the paying a thing.
I guess. I mean maybe it's more of just like
any figure, because there is another thing he wants to
try to teach me, which is what exactly he does.
What I'm doing now a little bit different. I'm just
helping him. But he wants to teach him what he's
actually doing, which would make me a lot more money
in the future that was taking like a year or

(01:07:37):
two actually practicing getting it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
That's great. See, Yeah, I understand the thing of like,
I want to do a job that I like doing,
but and you and you that could absolutely be in
your future. But again but right but for right now,
because you just graduated fucking high school. It's like, you

(01:08:01):
can get your money up and get your community up.
You have a perfect opportunity for that ship. And if
your dad's teaching you how to do shit in the future,
you know, you're still what am I about to say,
You're still doing something that's like could compound over long term.

Speaker 3 (01:08:22):
Yeah, playing for the future, I guess, and making long
term money.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
Yeah. And then and again the stuff that you end
up whatever it is that you decide you want to
end up doing at night. I don't know if it
is the local concert thing, but I don't know if
you want to you know, I mean when I was eighteen,
I was going to like Super Smash Brothers tournaments at night.
You know that compounds to do a community. You end
up you meet people, yea, you meet people. Then that

(01:08:46):
leads you to opportunities you wouldn't have uh known about before.
So again, yeah, I'm I'm excited for you. You could have
a next you could have a cool next four years.

Speaker 3 (01:08:56):
Yeah, that's a great idea that I was, like, gets
perspective log of what I should do a bit more
of my decision making. So I guess I probably should
have fallen working with my dad a bit, letting him
teach me a lot more things.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
Mm hmm, aiden, Oh god, Aiden, Oh my god. Yeah,
Oh no, I'm I'm uh, I'm doing excellence. I'm doing excellent.
You know how You know who Gary Vee is?

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
I think so he's definitely on He's he's probably on
So I don't do you think he's on adderall. He's
gotta be, uh, honestly, maybe he's.

Speaker 2 (01:09:44):
Got to be.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
I don't know about cocaine. People say he's on cocaine,
but he's got to be on a lot of stimulants.

Speaker 3 (01:09:53):
Probably. I think adderall might be one of them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
And is there anything else? Who I say the people
of the computer before we.

Speaker 3 (01:10:04):
Go, Am I able to say a few random words
of wisdom?

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
You say whatever you want, honestly, make sure to love
yourself before you love another. So that's all I gotta say.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
Beautiful by Aiden, of course.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
Have a great day, Gag. Thanks for the advice.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
I liked. I like that guy. I liked Adan. Yeah,
I don't know. I'm very Folks who listen to this
podcast have heard me talk about like film school and
shit before. I don't know. If you're yeah, if you're

(01:10:49):
in a position like that where yeah, like you're like,
if you if you're lucky enough that you have like
some kind of stable home situation where you can live
at home. Uh, and like you know, people aren't fucking
like screaming at each other all the time or anything
like that. Oh my god, take advantage of that. Shit. Hello, folks,
it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But

(01:11:12):
get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,
an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can
listen to. By becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko
over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers
get access to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad

(01:11:34):
free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings
from my live shows members only streams, and they help
support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's
a clip from this week's members only bonus episode, What
is are You? Are you running right now?

Speaker 2 (01:11:53):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:11:54):
I uh I was hitting some curls.

Speaker 1 (01:11:57):
All right, all right, yeah, what I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
Think you call it? What's up?

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
Bro? No, that's all right, that's all right. Are you uh?

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Are?

Speaker 1 (01:12:11):
I don't know if I can talk to you, if
you're gonna breathe into the into the microphone the whole time.

Speaker 3 (01:12:15):
Well, like, literally, I'm working out with my buddies.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
I was like doing some heavy curls and I was
talking to him and then you called. I was like, oh, shoot, guys,
the get's coming.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
I gotta go.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
If you want to hear this full conversation, you can
sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko
dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the
episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All Right,
I have nothing else to say, goes on the line,

(01:12:46):
taking calls every night, Goes to his He's teaching you
aloud in the line's exper