READING VIEWER MAIL (aka ranting alone)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Welcome, good evening, Hi, welcomed or good whatever time
it is that you're watching this, Welcome. This is a
special episode of the Therapy Gecko podcast. This is a
special episode. There will be no callers in this episode.
It will just be me alone, ranting into a microphone.

(00:22):
I've been wanting to try something new. I've been wanted
to try something different. I've been doing this podcast for
about four years now, over four years now, and it's
mainly just been me and occasionally someone else talking to
people on the phone. And I wanted to challenge myself

(00:43):
to see if I can do an entire hour just
ranting to myself. I mean, it's technically there's more than
that I have, all right, So I yesterday I went
on Instagram and I made it Instagram story and I
was like, I'm gonna do a viewer mail episode of

(01:05):
the podcast. Please send words. That was all I specified,
was words. I said, please send words to therapy geckomail
at gmail dot com. And so I'm gonna read as
many of the emails that people sent me as i can.

(01:26):
I'm streaming live on Twitch while i'm recording this, so
maybe i'll talk to the chat but Uh, basically, this
is good. This is kind of like it's gonna be
a little bit of my therapy session in a way.
I might talk about my life, or I might not,
or I might just delve into what the people email me.
It's funny because I've I've always been kind of bad

(01:48):
at like the Dear Abby format. I don't consider myself
like an advice guy, like a like a like a
you know, but dear Abby. It's like it's like, here's
my long thing and then here's Abby's long response. I
don't really do that. I like to get into the
conversation with folks. I find that makes me more comfortable.

(02:11):
But I want to get into I want to try
something new. I want to I want to challenge myself.
I've been bored and uh, I've no you know, Look,
people like to talk about themselves. That's why I think
so many people call into this show. It's because they
want to talk about themselves. They want to be here,
they want to be heard. And I thought to myself,

(02:34):
wait a minute, what if I just talked for an
hour uninterrupted by anyone or anything. It's so weird because
I think that's most podcasts, like I only live in
the universe of my own podcast. So like, to me,
podcasting is like synonymous with taking viewer calls, because it's

(02:56):
what I do. But I realized, like, you don't, Actually
you don't have to do that for every episode. Most
people have a guest, but sometimes you can. You really
can just rant for an hour. I don't know if
it'll be good, but I don't know. I don't really
even care about that. I just care that I tried.
That's all that matters to me. So I'm just gonna

(03:19):
get into it. I'm sitting in front of my laptop
right now. Let's start. Let's look at some viewer emails here. Okay,
let's see, all right, As of now, I have eighty
seven emails. I have eighty seven emails. Let's start at

(03:40):
the very first one. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
read people's name. Maybe i'll read their initials. Okay. The
first one is from Lyle Dresher. It says, Hey, that
was me testing to see if this email worked all right.
Next one is from JG a highlight. Hey, Hey, j G.

(04:02):
I'm a little nervous. I don't really know what to say.
I'm a big fan of the podcast and stream. You've
helped me get through many long and strenuous work days.
Your podcast has made me realize that we all really
do live similar lives, deal with similar problems, similar thought patterns, etc.
You have reinforced my love for psychology and have helped

(04:25):
me gain an appreciation of life. Thank you, Gek. That's
so nice, that's so kind. It is it's a little
weird to me because I don't feel like I really

(04:45):
I mean, there's there's psychological and anthropological aspects to what
I do, but I really I don't. I'm not a
scientist or anything like that. You know, I'm just chatting
with people. I don't have a degree in any I'm
not even like trying to pretend like I do. But
I'm happy that podcast helps people. I'm trying to get,

(05:06):
you know, what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to
get better at, like, uh, receiving praise because I sort
to eat like I'm so appreciate like a lot. I'm
so appreciative that people are are listening to this crap.
But I get like really uncomfortable when I get a
lot of praise, you know. So I'm trying to be
but I also think like if people are praising you

(05:27):
and you're like, nah, I suck whatever, you're kind of
a you're kind of you're being a little bit of
a dick, and then be you're just reinforcing low self esteem.
So I've been trying to think of myself more as
like a person who maybe does have some form of
value to offer to other people, maybe through my lived

(05:50):
experience and stuff. But I don't want to get too
up my own dick hole, because that's I hate those people.
I hate people, but anyone who when you meet someone
and they don't hate themselves at least a little bit,
I don't like them. So I'm trying. So I really
am trying to cultivate a proper amount of like, Okay,

(06:14):
let me like love myself enough that my it's I
don't I'm don't hate life, and I feel confident and
competent because that's a good way to go through life.
But let me hate myself just enough that I'm still
feel like a like a regular human being. Okay, thank you, Jared.
I'll just y'all use first names. I'm just gonna this

(06:35):
guy's Jared whatever, No one, there's a million Jared's all right.
This is from Angie. Subject is I am dating someone
as old as my stepdad. Hold, let me make sure
this's recording. All right, This looks like it's recording. Let
me check on twitch. All right, this looks all right. Yeah,
this looks like it's working. All right. I am dating

(06:56):
someone as old as my stepdad. Also, I'm not putting
any of this shit on on the screen. I'm just
gonna read it, okay. From Angie. Hello, Gek, I feel
I have been keeping a secret from most of my
friends and family. I met a guy on Reddit a
little over a month ago, and we hit it off
really well. The thing is, he lives in Poland and

(07:18):
I live in America. He is also twenty years older
than me. For context, I am twenty three. I plan
to visit him in November, when I will be staying
in Poland for two months. I'm even thinking of moving
in with him after this time if things go well. Okay,

(07:40):
all right, Uh, I don't plan on telling my family
much about my trip to Poland since I don't know
if I'll be coming back home. My boy my home.
My boyfriend makes me feel happy and is supportive. Okay,
So this when she said my boyfriend. I was like,
is there a boyfriend that you're like? You have a
separate boyfriend? But okay, this is when she says a boyfriend,

(08:00):
I think she's referring to the older dude in Poland. Okay,
my boyfriend makes me feel happy and it's supportive, but
I get anxious thinking about what other people will think
of us together. To add to this situation, I also
have a six month old daughter who will be coming
with me. Oh my god. Her father isn't involved, so
I would really like my boyfriend to be a dad

(08:22):
for her. Am I crazy for thinking a future with
him could work? Oh? Geez? Oh? Man, Okay, I have questions.
See this is why all I'm gonna challenge myself to
give thoughts, even though I feel like i'm I normally
would have a situation I would ask questions. I get
all right, So I guess I have a few thoughts

(08:42):
about this. One is like, I mean, look, man, it
sounds from this that you've never met this guy. I
met a guy, and you met him a little over
a month ago. Ah, you're twenty three. I have no like, Okay,
A couple of things. One you know, like, I guess

(09:05):
It's like I have no I have no problem with
this person, like going to Poland to like meet this guy,
do it in a do it in a public place, preferably,
uh for the first meeting. You know, maybe maybe not
go to his house immediately, but uh, you know, I

(09:25):
don't I don't have a problem with meeting this guy.
I do think this person seems like they're putting a
lot of expectations on this initial meeting. You know, like
we met this I met this guy a little over
a month ago, and I already want him to and well,
he's already her boyfriend. She's always he's calling him her boyfriend.

(09:46):
But it's like they haven't even I get that we
live in a fucking digital universe and people are getting
together on discord and stuff, But you should meet a
guy before you we put we call him our boyfriend.
I'm anxious thinking about what other people will think of

(10:07):
us together. That's my I think what other people think
of your relationship is the last problem that I have
with this. The problem I have with this is that,
a AA, it seems like you're putting a lot of
expectations on this person that you've never met. A you
want to move in with him and then be you
want him to like be a dad for your daughter.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, I guess if I had to like give advice
to this person, I would be like, I don't think
there's anything wrong with like going to Poland and having
a little weird Polish adventure with a weird Polish guy,
but don't don't don't don't expect to move in with
him or have him be the don't expect anything from
this guy. Just I would go into I don't have

(10:52):
a problem with going to Poland and meeting him, but
I just think there's too many expectations that we're putting
into this situation right now. And also just I don't,
I don't, I wouldn't. I mean a month ago. I
get if you've been dating for like two years and
you've never met but you want to call him your boyfriend. Maybe,
but like you know, just meet the guy first, and

(11:15):
and dear God, meet him in public. Don't go to
his fucking house, all right? Uh? Kobe Craft says hi
subject line, Hi, Hey gak listener from Belgium here really
like your podcast? Keep it up, Mail me back and
I'll send you some chocolate. Maybe should I just send
this guy my home address. Should I just completely dos

(11:38):
myself so I can get some Belgian chocolate from Kobe Craft.
Let me see what let me see what the chat
thinks about that angie thing.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (11:52):
All right, everyone in the chat seems to completely agree
with I don't think I don't think it's a controversial.
I don't think she's necessarily about to get murdered. But
like play like like I don't. I'm not like, I'm
not like, don't ever do anything or meet anyone ever
because you might die, But like, play it safe, play

(12:15):
it cautious anyway, all right, No, don't send me. I mean,
you can send me chocolate, but I'm trying to I
was gonna say I'm trying to lose weight, but I
don't want to publicly say that I'm trying to lose
weight because then when I when you guys watch the
podcast and I look fatter six months from now, you
can all you're gonna use that against me. All right?

(12:36):
This is from Samantha. Hi Gek, My boyfriend and I
met you recently at your show in Toronto. We drove
a total of eight hours to be there and it
was totally worth it. Thank you. Very much. I was
cool and chill until you said hi, and then I
blocked blocked out from nervousness. I think it was a

(12:57):
good interaction, though, I'm promise you. I promise you it
was a good interaction. I'll tell a story real quick.
I'm I'm insane, So occasionally i will search myself up
on Reddit because I'm insane. It's a thing I'm trying.
It's a thing i'm trying to really stop doing because

(13:19):
it's just such an insane thing to do to go
on Reddit and search therapy, get go and see if
people are talking about me. It brings truly nothing productive
or beneficial to my life, and as a habit I'm
trying to stop doing as part of my general social
media refrigerator checking. But anyway, I was, I fucking searched
myself and I found this post from this girl who

(13:42):
was like she might I think she posted in like
r slash anxiety or something like that, and she wrote
something like, oh my god. I'm so she was like,
oh my god, I feel like so shitty because I
met the Therapy Gecko at one of his live shows
and I think I said something weird and I think

(14:04):
I totally embarrassed myself, and I walked away from that
interaction feeling like so embarrassed. And I was reading this
and I was like I I it was like, hey,
I don't, I don't. I don't remember that. And b
it's like, I'm not, You're totally fine. You came to
my fucking show and you wait and you paid me

(14:26):
thirty dollars and you waited in line to talk to me.
I don't like fucking We're good, dude, thank you, thanks
for coming to my thing. I'm not.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
I'm never like, oh, that person sucked. Even if I
meet somebody and they and they and they actually are
kind of weird to me, I still don't care. I
don't what it's like last like two seconds. Thanks for
coming to the show. It's fine, you know. So I
felt bad. I really felt bad because I I've been

(14:58):
in like little I've been in like on the other
end of it, like situations like that where I'm like,
oh no, I that was a weird social reaction that
I can never fix. And I fucking hate that feeling.
And I would never want to give that feeling to
another person. The same thing, by the way, the same
thing happened to me in reverse. I went on I

(15:19):
this is this is, these are more adventures and looking
myself up on Reddit. I looked myself up and I
found a post from this girl being like I met
the therapy Gecko at his meet and greet in Austin
and I told him it was my birthday and he
didn't say happy birthday. So I'm not a fan anymore.

(15:40):
And uh, I'm really disappointed in him and I and
that I was that one. I was a little bit like,
you know, fuck you, come on, but anyway, whatever, all right, sorry, anyway,
maybe this rant episode was a bad idea, but you
know what, no, it's not. I just you know what,
these are real you know what, No, these are real

(16:00):
feelings that I am. I am expressing and it's okay.
So okay, I'm trying to I have a friend and
was She told me she's like she's trying to be
angry more often because it's okay to express anger. And
I was like, I like that. I resonate with that.

(16:22):
I take back the fuck you. If the person who
I forgot to say happy birthday with is listening to this,
we're cool. We're cool. Ever, we're cool everyone, We're cool.
There's no one I'm not cool with. All right, back
to this email. I was cool and chill until you
said hi, and then I blocked out from nervousness. I
think it was a good interaction, though. I wanted to know.

(16:44):
Do you keep recording the pods while you're on the road. No,
I record them before I leave and then I kind
of blocked and I kind of batched them out. Or
do you backlog episodes and release them? Is it a secret? No,
it's not. If that's cool. If so, that's cool, Keep
your secrets. You just seem like a very bus gecko. Ps.

(17:04):
When you asked the Logan Paul look alike if he
had any prime I laughed harder than I had all year.
Thank you. I appreciate that there was a guy in
Toronto who did. He did look like Logan Paul. Sometimes
I feel very busy and then other times I feel unemployed.
But I think that's okay. I think like, like there's

(17:27):
a weird thing in like nine to five. This has
a weird thing in like work culture in general, where
it's like where there's a weird thing in work culture
in general where it's like you have to work forty
hours a week, and it's like, there's the there's whatever
your job is, and just do that job and it

(17:51):
doesn't really matter how long it takes you, Like that's
how much. That's how work I think should work. It's like,
just do your whatever your fucking job is, and if
it takes you ten hours, that's cool. And if it
takes you forty hours then okay. But you know, the
whole thing of like you need to work specific amount
of hours is I think overplayed. Thanks Samantha, thanks for

(18:13):
coming to the show. I appreciate it. That was really fun. Okay,
this is from Elias. The subject line is hello, Okay,
let's see here. Hey GEK, love listening to your show.
Think you're a super great guy and just about one

(18:34):
of the realist people on the internet. Thanks man, I
know you get that a lot. I've always wanted to
call in, but Twitch banned my account? Why did the witch?
Where is this going? After someone stole my email and
I never got around to making a new one, so
I never know when you're on. I always listen to
the podcast, though you should do a live show in Albuquerque,

(18:56):
New Mexico. Sometimes I did a college show in Albuquerque
a couple of years ago at the University of New Mexico.
That was really fun. Shout out. I don't remember the
name of the of the of the college kid who
booked me, but there were there was a good gang
of folks. Shout out. Shout out whoever does student events
at unm UH. I know a lot of people here

(19:17):
that love your stuff, and I think you get a
hell of a kick out of the town. I got
a hell of a kick out of the town. Like
the mountains. It was cool. I'm going to college. I'm
in college right now, and I'm chronically addicted to cheating
on my boyfriends. Okay, I'm in college right now and
I'm chronically addicted to cheating on my boyfriend of two years.

(19:41):
It's kind of becoming a big problem because he wants
to move in together, but it's just not as fun
being with him if I'm not cheating on him. Jesus,
let me read that again. I'm I'm chronically addicted to
cheating on my boyfriend of two years. It's kind of
becoming a big problem because he wants to move in together,

(20:02):
but it's just not as fun being with him if
I'm not cheating on him. That part of me think
is this this person might be fucking I. That's such
a blatant statement that I really believe that this person
is fucking with me. If this person is, if this
person's listening to this and they're not fucking with me,

(20:24):
Just break up with your boyfriend. What are you doing?
Break up with bro, Break up with your boyfriend and
see a therapist. Man, I hope you're having a great day,
and keep on getting sent from my iPhone. All right, well,
I don't how are you What do you mean you're

(20:46):
chronically addicted, like to the thrill Jesus Christ? All right,
I'm just break up with your boyfriend. Man, let him,
let him be, all right. Mackenzie a poem. Oh crap,
I read their last We'll cut out their last name. Well,
we're gonna We're gonna cut out their last name. All right,

(21:08):
it's from Mackenzie. This is a poem for the ghek
Green leaves. Hold on. I'm reading the chat. Someone said
that's rage bait. I think that's rage bait. I think
that that's not real. But I don't know the fact
that she wrote chronically, or it could be a guy
Elias anyway, all right, I think it's raise bait, but whatever, mackenzie,

(21:32):
this is a poem for the Ghak. Green leaves bask
in the sunlight, swaying ever so slightly. Green trees lined
the sidewalks, standing tall, strong and united. Green stripes scattered
amongst the rooftop. Are you guys getting a visual of
this from a green hand? A human hand emerged the

(21:55):
hand of the Gek. To gek or to be gecked
is the question, gek oh, holy Ghek. I don't know
I feel about holy Ghek. But rise above the adversity.
I'm trying. I'm trying to rise above the adversity. Rise
people of Gak nation, Rise to the curiosity that Gek inspires.
Green bean, oh green gecko, you were never meant to

(22:18):
be green, only loved. Holy shit, you were never meant
to be green, only loved. That. I don't even know
what that means. I mean, I have an idea of
what that means. But that's that's powerful. I am tired.
You can finish the poem. Sorry that it got kind
of weird. That's fine, that's okay. Here is a link
to the website that has different shades of green. Okay,

(22:43):
I'll click this. Oh well, it's a website with a
bunch of shades of green. That's nine. Thank you for
the poem, Kenzie, that's that's very nice. You were never
meant to be green, only loved. That's an interesting debate
if humans are in hear worthy of love, people love.

(23:03):
People like to say that, but I don't know how
true it is. I'm not saying it's not true, but
like I don't know, what about like what about like Hitler?
You know that's the that's the like, Okay, anytime, this
is what I always think. Anytime somebody like what goes
on like a kind of a spiritual thing where they're like, oh,

(23:24):
you know, everyone deserves love, everyone deserves kindness, I'm like,
I'm I go in there immediately with the hard questions.
I'm like, what about Hitler? Does he deserve to be loved? Maybe?
I don't know? Are we I just I'm saying, do
we have exceptions? I think like in the when I
think about these things, when I think about like I
guess I have I have gone down my own mental

(23:46):
rabbit holes of like these these things of like we
all deserve love, we are all each other you are
every I really do think about these things, and I'm like,
you can't. You can't just be convenient about it, you know,
like you know those guys, you know, the like when
there's a story on the news about a lady who
like leaves a baby in a hot car and the

(24:08):
baby dies, Like, do we should we love her too? Maybe?
I don't. I don't know, probably if that's we just
I don't just don't think we can we can just
pick and choose if we're gonna be all, you know,
holy about it. I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't
know why I'm being I don't know what I'm talking about.
Thanks for the poem. I don't know why I had

(24:29):
to make that into a whole thing. All right, what's
the chat say? Someone says, Uh, if Adolph had been
loved properly, I don't think he would have killed anyone. Lol.
Maybe I don't know. I'm all right, that's I'm no,

(24:53):
I am not. I am committed to not talking about
Hitler for the rest of this. Uh stream all right,
this it might be a long for This might be
a long podcast because A because I'm having fun doing it,
and be because we have eighty one more emails to read. Okay,
this is from Andrea. Dear Gek, I love your streams

(25:15):
and you've made my life so much better. Thank you, Andrea.
I'm trying a new thing. I have a sometimes when
people are praising me and being nice to me, I
say to them, I'm trying. I say, like, someone will
say like, oh, I really like what you're doing, and
I'll say I'll say this, I'll say I'm trying my best.
And I have a friend and she was like, you

(25:36):
got to stop saying that because it implies that you're
not doing it. And I was like, you know what,
I'll give you that that's true. So now I'm just
gonna now I'm just it's part of my self love journey.
I'm just gonna be like, thank you, thank you. I
will accept in this very moment that I'm not a
piece of shit, and then I'll hate myself later. But
let me let me I can. I really I'm believing
more and more in the duality of life, like I

(25:59):
can humbly hate myself and confidently love myself on the
same day. I think I can do that. I think
I can have a nice balance. I can be enough
and I can be ambitious. I'm holding space for all things.
All right, whatever, Sorry, all right, sorry. I love your
streams and you've made my life so much better. I

(26:20):
listen to you almost every day, and when you post
a new episode, it makes me really happy that I
get to listen to stories and advice. Thank you for
everything that you do, and thanks for not making me
feel so alone. Thanks Andrea, I love you, Lyle. Thank you.
Here's a pick of my dog. That's a nice dog. Oh,
that actually is a nice dog. Here's what happens just now.

(26:41):
I just scrolled down and I prepared myself to say
that's a nice dog, just like as a blanket statement,
and then I actually looked and I was like, oh wait,
that actually is a nice dog. It is. It's a
nice dog, and it's a nice photo of the dog.
I'm not gonna I don't have the technology to like
post this on a thing, but it's a nice dog.
You're gonna have to take my word for it. Thank you, Andrea.

(27:02):
All Right, Albert subject, I want you, Lyle. Body of
the email says so bad dot dot dot. Well, I
don't know. Maybe it's you could have that's if you
Here's the thing. If you want to fuck someone, that's
a bad email to send them. If the if this

(27:23):
guy really wanted to fuck me, he could have he
could have slid in my DMS a bit better, a
little bit more subtle. I think I don't think this
guy actually wants me. I think he just wanted to
be crass. All right, Liam subject male, episode spelled m

(27:44):
M A I L all right, Hi, Lyle, longtime listener,
first time mailer, slash caller, huge fan. I'm hoping you
come to Canada, monied Toba, specifically, Where the fuck is that?
Hold on? Let me go on maps, Male, Manitoba. Where

(28:08):
the hell is Manitoba, Canada? Oh, that's a whole continent,
it's a whole problem, that's a whole that's a long
where in Manitoba. I guess Winnipeg. If I was going
to go, I could. I could reasonably see myself one
day going to Winnipeg. I was about to say, if
it's like some random place in northern Canada, I'm never

(28:30):
going to go there, but I could go to Winnipeg
one day. Who knows? Anyway? All right, Uh, The only
advice I can give is asking about how to get
over the nerves of applying for university the only advice
I can give? Oh, you mean like asking the only
advice you can ask for? How can I get over
the nerves of applying for university and moving away from home?
I've been looking forward to it for as long as

(28:52):
I can remember, but now that it's time, I am scared.
How can I get over the nerves of moving away
from home? Okay, I assume this person is like seventeen
or eighteen or something, probably eighteen, because they're applying for
university and moving away from home. Well, look, look, Liam,

(29:17):
here's the thing. If you really want to, if you
really want to, you can live in your mom's basement forever.
You don't have you don't have to. You can just
live in your mom's basement for I mean, I don't
know your mom. I don't know if she's gonna kick
you out, but it sounds like I'm just gonna make
assumptions about your life. It sounds like your mom would

(29:38):
be okay with you living at home forever. But she
probably I mean quietly, I mean probably quietly, she would
be pissed off at you and want you to get
the fuck out of her house. But you could if
you wanted to. You could be a burden to your
mother forever. But you don't rip a Liam, I do.
I don't know you, Liam, but you're you're a nice
Canadian fella. I assu. You're eighteen. You're gonna you got

(30:03):
uh you got a good sixty two years, probably until
you're dead, maybe even more if you're If you don't,
I mean you have free health care, so you're probably good.
You got sixty more, don't. I don't you want more
out of your life? Don't. You'll want to move out
of home, but you'll want to have an adventure. You'll
want to get out of there. This is those nerves.

(30:27):
This should be it should be excitement. I mean everyone's
wired differently. Some people they just like their familiar comforts.
But I don't know Liam' jo oh wait wait, hold on,
I'm an idiot. I didn't even I'm stupid. I have
been looking forward to it for as long as I
can remember. Okay, so you do want it, you've been
looking forward to it, but now at this time, I'm scared.

(30:49):
That's good though, That's good. If it wasn't scary to you,
then it wouldn't be a change and then what what
you you'd be looking forward to. Nothing, the nervousness and
the scariness, that's what you've been looking forward to. It's good.
It's good. It's good to have things in life that
you're nervous about. Well maybe not maybe not anxious about,

(31:11):
because some things that in life that you're anxious about,
but maybe even anxious, maybe even anxiety. Maybe even that's
good because it just it means that you still care.
It means that you still give a fucking shit about
any because it's so easy to just fucking not care
about anything and get strung out on heroin and whatever.
It's good. It's good to be nervous. It's good to

(31:31):
be eighteen and nervous that things might not work out,
because it means you still care. If you were telling
me if this email was like, hey, Lyle, longtime listener,
I watch your Twitter stream every day from my mom's basement,
where I plan to stay and be comfortable and not
nervous for until I die, I'd be like, well, this

(31:53):
guy's fucked, so you're good. I'm not. I'm not worried
about you, Liam, all right. This is from Puggle Guests.
This is from Puggle guests. That's a cool name. The
subject this viewer male episode Hi Therapy, Gecko. I wanted
to talk because have you heard of Scrappy Brian. He's

(32:15):
like scrappy do but Brian from Family Guy. I have
not heard of that, but that's that's cool. This is
from Sam. There's a picture of me and Sam. Oh
I met Sam. This is from Richmond, Virginia. I want
to say, Okay, hell yeah, Okay, I remember that. I
remember that background. Okay, Gek. I sincerely appreciate the energy

(32:39):
you've put into your endeavors and therefore the world. Thank you.
I appreciate that because I really sometimes feel like I
just sit around and eat food all day. You make
my eighty minute commute so much easier. What the fuck
are you commuting eighty minutes for? And I especially want
to thank you for taking my call back in August.
I'm Shep from the episode Love Makes Me Impulsive. Okay,

(33:02):
I don't remember names, but let me go to Love.
Let me go to the episode because I want to
remember is this oh crap? Is this crap? I don't which?
Hold on, Shep, Let me hold on. Let me go

(33:23):
into my Google drive and look for Shep, because I
have notes notes on all the podcasts. Ah Shep or Shep?
Hold on, oh Shep? Oh okay, okay, wait, hold on,

(33:45):
Maybe I do remember this guy Shep? What like, I crap,
there were three callers in that episode, and I just
don't I can't tell which one you are based off
of just the name. Let me look on the chat,

(34:06):
this chat, remember any of that? All right?

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Well?

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Were you? Were you the caller? All right? Whatever? All right,
I'm Shep from the episode Love makes Me Impulsive? Were
you the first caller? Why is this bothering me so much?
Just for future? I don't remember, I really like, I
really can't remember anyone based off of just names. But
if you were, like I'm the guy from the episode

(34:38):
who talked about this, I'll definitely be able to remember.
I was an eighty percent chance I'll be able to
remember it. But anyway, all right, whatever, I'm okay. I'm
Shep from the episode Love makes Me Impulsive. I found
a job and life is a little better now. If
we're doing questions in these things, sure, I'd like to
ask if you have any advice on trying to find

(34:59):
up partner when you live in a small pond. Small
town romance is not easy at twenty eight years old. Anyway,
keep being amazing, and I hope I'll see you again.
Meeting you in a Richmond, Virginia as a blast, I
knew I recognized the background. I attached a pick from
the meet and greet. I'm proud to report I've lost
forty pounds since this pick. Oh that rocks. Best wishes shep. PS.

(35:24):
Don't listen to the haters. Your face was not meant
to be read. All right, Okay, listen, shep I'm just
gonna you what why is move? You've listed multiple things,
I mean, you've listed multiple things about where you live

(35:47):
that sound bad. You have an eighty minute commute, You
live in a small town where you can't are having
trouble meeting anyone. Why don't you go somewhere else? Do
you live in rich Well? Okay, okay, we met at
the Richmond Virginia show. I'm gonna assume you don't live
in Richmond, Virginia. I'm gonna assume you live eighty minutes

(36:08):
outside of Richmond, Virginia. When he just moved to Richmond, Virginia,
there's what's the fucking population of Richmond, Virginia. Richmond's Virginia
population population. We had an episode. I don't know if
you guys remember this. Okay, this is a population of

(36:29):
two hundred and thirty thousand people. All right, that's fine.
We had a fucking episode like a few months ago
where this woman talked about how she moved to Richmond,
Virginia and started like a pinball league and started meeting people.
And I thought that was awesome. So this is move
that's my suggestion. Just move nothing you've it sounds like

(36:54):
the small town you live in is bad for your life,
so wanted you to move. Which caller was it? God?
Damn it was it? The first one? Was it? The
one who? Okay, there's three callers. There's one. I remember
the first caller, and that was a guy who almost
joined a cult. There was a guy who tries to
say positive after getting fired, and then there was a

(37:16):
caller who ripped his penis. And you could be any
one of those people. All right, I hope you're doing good, chep.
Let's keep going all right? Uh, this is Rona. This
is rona subject line intimate relationship with Zebras. This is

(37:40):
definitely a troll, but I'm gonna I'm gonna indulge. I'm
gonna indulge. Hello, therapy Gecko, I need your advice. Me,
a fifty seven year old man on schizophrenia medication, have

(38:00):
recently developed feelings to zebras I have felt for my
ex wife, Susan. All right, I'm gonna read this exactly
as it's written. I don't know what makes me feel
like it. Maybe it's their stripes that seduce me. In
my country, what's your country? What's your country? Does anyone

(38:27):
guess what country this is where they where they have
sex with zebras. In my country, we have zeos that
allow people to pet animals, including zebras. Last Saturday, I
had a fantasy of a zebra saying she will let
me lick her stripes. And I couldn't help myself. But
see what it really do? I need to read?

Speaker 3 (38:48):
I'm I all right.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm gonna read the I'm gonna read you know what.
I'm gonna finish reading this email because I read the
rest of it in my head. I'm gonna finish reading
it aloud so that you all have to read the
same thing I had to read. Last Saturday, I had
a fantasy of a zebra saying she will let me
lick her stripes, and I couldn't help myself. But see whatever,
it feels like needles to say I am only half

(39:21):
man now since she kicked me in the balls. I
think that meant to say, I'm only half man now
since she kicked me in the balls. But worse, I
got put on the do not enter the zoo list since,
as they said, I caused a traumatic event to a
minor by watching, by having him watch me put the
zebra stripes in my mouth. I don't I have to,

(39:45):
all right, on this platform, I would like to say
sorry to my ex wife, Susan Baby, I'm sorry I
said I would microwave your hamster if he spoke to
me one more time. Thank you, dearly Rona. I this
could be. This could be a man with schizophrenia. This

(40:08):
could very well be a man in a foreign country.
This could very well actually be a fifty seven year
old man in a foreign country with schizophrenia. I'm let
me tell you guys something, because let me tell you
guys something, and this is I'm gonna overall just clarify
my opinion on trolls in general, because That's one of
the questions I get a lot, is like, do you
think that people who call into your show and say

(40:30):
crazy shit are trolling? And I'm just as the guy
in the driver's seat who is listening to all this
stuff and taking it all in and like listening to
people and sometimes you know, whether life it's a live
show or a street thing, like looking people in the
eye while they're telling me, I really, I sincerely believe

(40:51):
there is a greater chance. I don't think this guy
actually like licked a zebra or whatever. There might be
a half truth. I sincerely believe there's a stronger chance
that this is a fifty seven year old man with
schizophrenia and a foreign country. Then it's like a sixteen

(41:12):
year old in Minnesota who's just bored and fucking with me.
I feel the I think people tend to air on
like I think people on the Internet tend to air
on the side of like we're being trolled because they
because they're defensive, because the worst thing that could ever

(41:35):
happen to someone because for them, the worst thing that
could ever happen is that they got trolled, is that
someone took them for a ride. You know, I don't
give a fuck. I will take you at face value
because I don't really care. If you're taking me for
a ride. I'm gonna care a little bit. I prefer
you to not the show works. The best encounters that

(41:57):
I have doing this are ones where people are completely
being you know, real and authentic. But I generally err
on the side of this person is being sincere with me.
I think ninety six percent of the people I interact
with doing this are being sincere with me. That's just
from my perspective in the driver's seat. I believe that

(42:19):
I'm gonna give it a sixty forty on this guy
is a fifty seven year old schizophrenic man in a
foreign country. Sixty percent that he is, forty percent that
he isn't all right, Let's move on. This is from

(42:40):
Willis subject line, Hey mister Gek, Hey Gek. Hope you're
doing well. I'm currently procrastinating on my college work, but
I saw your post and decided to write you an email.
I've been having major imposter syndrome running a club at

(43:02):
my college. It's a fairly big club, and this is
my first time doing any form of extra curricular activities.
That rocks in high school, I never did anything except
focused on the school rock and Roll. In my freshman
year of college, I became an intern for the club,
and this year I took up the president position. Moving
on up, Willis Is, moving on Up. I took it

(43:24):
because when me and my fellow interns were picking executive
board positions, nobody wanted to be president. I mean, I
don't know why anyone everyone would want to be the
president of anything. I personally didn't care what position I
had as long as it wasn't creative based. I decided
to take one for the team and decided to be president.
So far, it's been al right, but at times it
could be stressful. Do you have any forms of advice

(43:49):
in how to go about this pressor I skipped a
little bit. I have these phases of feeling good about
what I'm doing, and then other days I feel an
imposter syndrome, as if I don't belong in the position
I'm in since I have literally zero leadership experience under
my belt, and sometimes I feel lost. But everyone says
I'm doing a great job, although I hope they aren't
lying to me. Do you have any form of advice
in terms of how to go about this problem. Overall,

(44:12):
this is my first time balancing multiple things on my
plate at once, school, extracurriculars, taking care of myself, friends,
and to this day, I'm still learning how to balance
this position. By the way, I sorry for my sniffls.
I'm a little sick. So this is a good time
to be doing this episode because this way I won't
get any of the callers sick. I want to be

(44:32):
able to look in the mirror confidently and be proud
of where I got to today, but it is hard
to do when I have no idea what I'm doing
in a big power position. This I listen, Willis, I
don't what. First of all, Willis, I really appreciate your

(44:55):
sincerity and I appreciate your problem, But what are you
the president of? You're like like that, what do you
what do you first? Okay, as a freshman in college,
I just need you to know you, as a freshman
in college, there was no club that you could be
the president of that you could sincerely refer to as
a big power position. And I don't mean that to

(45:16):
be offensive. I'm hoping to me, I really mean that
as like I really mean that as like, uh, you know,
it's just relax, man, It's all good. You're gonna be okay.
I just don't what are you the president of where
you're making giant positions as a freshman and where you're
making like giant decisions. Also, I hope you can come

(45:37):
back to Charlotte, North Carolina. One day I met you
and wish I got to talk to more, but I
was too nervous. Love the show last year, didn would
come to the one this year, and he sent a
little picture what's up? Willis? I guess? Well, okay, I
mean that's my one thing is like, listen, Brot, you're

(45:58):
the you're a freshman in college and you're the president
of some club. You're fine. If you're the president of
the United States, maybe you would have a little bit
improcess syndrome. Maybe there's a little bit more room to

(46:18):
be feeling crazy. But like, you're fine. I'm just reading
this and I'm like, dude, you're fine. You're fine. How
do I balance school, extracurriculars, taking care of myself, relationships, friends?

Speaker 3 (46:32):
I have?

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Okay, I have some real advice. Actually, because I'm thinking
about this, just identify, like you got an eighty twenty
your life dude, you got a eighty twenty your life,
so like think about you. Guys, know what the eighty
twenty principle is. I've been thinking about it a lot.
It actually is like fucking genius. It changed my life
when I started thinking about it. Twenty percent of the
work that you do in your life is responsible for

(46:55):
eighty percent of the actual results in your life. But
what I mean by that is, let's say that, like
you like feel stretched thin by like all of your
like relationships and all your friendships and like people fucking
texting you and whatever. Just pick like the few people

(47:16):
that you really fucking like and just like make sure
you're keeping in good contact with them, and you're fine.
Let's say you have a bunch of schoolwork and a
bunch of extracurriculars and a bunch of whatever. Just pick
the like twenty percent of the It basically means, like,
of all the bullshit that you fucking put yourself through

(47:38):
on a daily basis, only twenty percent of it like
really matter, like really, just like just boil it all
down to what really fucking matters, what really moves the
needle forward in your life, and when you really like
when you ask that question scathingly. You strip everything away.
You're kind of like, oh, it's not that much. So

(48:02):
I would do that. I would go, uh, what's what's
his name? Willis? If you're Willis, look up the eighty
twenty principle. Also, just you fine, dude, fucking he didn't
even say what this club is. I hope him listening
to me saying that he's fine and that this thing.

(48:22):
I'm sorry. I feel like he's like I'm in this
club and I'm just sitting here like what you care
about doesn't matter. But I'm not saying that from a
place of like like how do I put this? I
think I put it? Okay, you get me? Fine, dude,
just live your life. Just be happy, don't be stressed
out all the time. I know that that's such blanket

(48:44):
fucking bullshit advice, but look up, look up the eighty
twenty principle. Just take twenty percent. I do this with
my like, like, I'll give you an example, like I was,
you know, I want to maintain I have a goal
of maintaining my gecko thing that I do. And it's like,

(49:05):
what of all the like random bull crap that I
could be running around doing to like do my job.
They're they're really only like twenty percent of what I
do is like actually important, And I've noticed the things
that are actually important in my job is anything that
involves like actually making stuff like this podcast. Like the

(49:32):
only things that really matter are like having interesting conversations
with people and making sure that the podcast is good
and like posting clips of it so that people can
find out about it. Everything else is kind of bullshit,
Like having a like like having like a funny twitch

(49:53):
notification background thing is like it's like it's stupid. Like
I've just focused on the things that actually matter, and
that's like me being present when I'm doing this and
uh me caring about uh the the actual like creative

(50:16):
what I'm doing and like answering random emails and like
looking at looking my and looking myself up on Reddit
are things that don't actually fucking do anything. So I'm
just relegating it to the only the things that matter,
all right, anyway, Okay, let's Smooth's keep going. How long

(50:42):
have I been going? For fifty one minutes? It seems
I could keep I'm just I mean, I don't think
I'm gonna get through all the emails. Should I do this.
Should I do this in two parts? Let's see how this,
Let's see if people like this, and then maybe I'll
do this. I mean, I like this. I'm people I
want to keep doing. This is fun. I've only got

(51:02):
through like a few of these emails, and I have
a billion more. All right, Oh, this one's fun. Joey.
This is from Joey. Subject line you interrupted me having sex?
Joey says, about two years ago, me and my girlfriend
were trying to get into your show, so we called
and we were waiting for some time, I don't remember

(51:23):
how long, probably an hour or so. While we were
on hold. We were in bed chillin' watching TV with
the volume low so we could hear you if you
picked up. Eventually, we forgot we were on hold, and
we ended up having sex, and probably like six to
seven minutes and two positions in, you answered the phone,

(51:45):
and we heard the voice and stopped, and it took
a few seconds for us to remember that we called,
and my girlfriend hopped up and answered the phone. Since
she was the one calling with the story, I don't
want to tell you who the caller was because it
was a pretty personal story of hers. That's kind of

(52:07):
funny that she wanted to talk to me more than
she wanted to have sex with you in that moment.
Moving on, this is from Cain. Have you ever played
The Binding of Isaac? I have? If so, let me know.
If not, you should try it out. Love Kin from
the UK. What's up, Kine, I have played The Binding.

(52:27):
I played it a long time ago. Fuck. I must
have played that game when I was in middle school.
How old is that game? Let me look it up?
The Binding of Isaac twenty eleven. Yeah, I played this
when I was in middle school, like on the Xbox.
It's a roguelike rogue let me I'm an now, I'm

(52:50):
at ale. Wikipedia page for roguelike you have like procedural gennera.
I guess I played Hades Hades and I played Hades
and that game was I didn't like it. I didn't

(53:11):
like that game. I don't really like roguelikes, and I
don't really remember loving the Binding adviser either, But thank
you for asking me if I have played this video game,
and thanks for messaging from the UK. Kane all right,
this is from Brian or Briah. Words for you to
read is the subject line, Hello Gek, I am nineteen

(53:33):
and from the UK. I'm not sure how these email
things work. Yet you're talking like you're from the fucking
nineteen hundreds, as you just posted as you only posted
it on your Instagram. But I've been listening to you
for years, every single episode besides the gek legend ones
because I don't know how to transfer Oh okay, they're saying,
because I don't know how to okay. I've listened to

(53:55):
every episode except the bonus ones because I don't know
how to transfer pounds to dollars online. I don't know
how to do that either. Anyway, I suppose I wanted
to talk about my struggles and seek your advice. I've
been home bound for three years now. I suffer from
horrible anxiety that I've always had since I was little,

(54:16):
and I find it really hard to get a job,
as my panic attacks can lead to vomiting, and that's
not very good out in public. Since I've been alone
and away from everything for so long, I've probably become
even worse. I don't have any friends, and I don't
know how to make them. I live on a small
island and don't talk to anyone from school anymore, so
it's hard to make friends. I just wonder if there's
any hope for me to be honest. Each day that

(54:38):
goes by lowers my mood and I'm getting lonelier every day,
and I just don't know what to do. I'm in
counseling and take medication for mental health already. Okay, getting
a job is super hard, but I've been pushing myself
and trying my hardest. I really want to be able
to move out in the future, as my household can
be toxic sometimes, but I have no idea how I
will get money in this economy. Any thoughts side note,

(54:58):
I'm going to your November show, Clapham. I'm a massive fan.
Love you well, Briah. Well, okay, I mean, have I
have some thoughts? I mean, just over I feel bad
for this person. It's a tough like just health issues
fucking suck. I know that's not the most poignant takeaway

(55:19):
from this, but that's just what I feel. Is like, man,
fucking hmm. Okay, so you're going to my show in life, Okay,
so you can leave the house. I'm curious. This is
what I'm curious about. So so you're you You're going
to my show, So you can leave the house enough
that you can like go to a show. I'm gonna assume,

(55:41):
because you're saying you're going to my show, that you
can leave the house enough. You can leave the Okay,
you can leave the house and go to a crowded
like event a theater. Do you have You're saying that
you have ability to do that? So like, do you
are you? You say, I'm pretty home bound. This is

(56:04):
why I want to follow up questions for this person.
And I'm just trying to make inferences from what they're
saying to me. And the inference is that they're going
to my show, which means that they can leave the
house if they want to. I guess that's just hard.

(56:25):
That's what I'm wondering. That's what I got it. Damn.
If I could talk to this person, I'd be like,
that's what I don't get. If they're coming to my show,
it means that they can summon the energy occasionally to
leave the house. Okay, I'm gonna assume that they can
do that. So my here's my thought. Sorry I still

(56:48):
have the sniffles. My thought is, I mean, you're nineteen,
you have sixty one years until you're dead, maybe more
because you're in the UK. I feel like in the
UK there's a lot of like ninety year old British people.
I feel like a lot of British people are old.

(57:10):
All right. If I were you, I would summon whatever
energy you can, even if it's not a lot, even
if it's once a month, whatever energy you can summon

(57:30):
to leave the house and do some shit. Just try
just like take it like audit audit your energy, Audit
what you feel like you audit like the bare minimum
of what you feel like you can do, and just
start doing that. My panic at taxically developmenting. That's not

(57:54):
very but I'm like, what triggers your panic that I
want to man, this is this is one of the
one where I wish I could talk to because I
want to know what your real therapist says how to
get money in this economy. I don't know. The economy
is fucked. I mean maybe it's better in the UK.
It's that you can move out when you're only nineteen.
You can you can probably live at your parent's house

(58:16):
for another five years and just save up money and
get some kind of whatever fucking job. I live on
a small island, do they have little jobs on the
little islands that you can you can work while you're
living in your parents house, while it's save up some money.

(58:39):
I don't I can't get over the fact that, like,
this person's going to my show, which means that they
can leave the house when they want to. It seems
even if it's like even if it's like it takes.
I'm not saying that in a sense of like, oh,
they're fucking lying. I'm saying that in a sense of,
like this we have evidence that if this person, this
person can hold it together enough to go to a

(59:00):
thing if they want to. So I'm like, how often
can they do that? Can they do that? Like Malta?
Can you can you go? Can you leave your house
once a week and go to a show, go to
an event? I mean, I'm doing this ship in London.
You can leave the house and go to London to
go to my show? Can you do that once a month?

(59:23):
Go to London and go to like a fu? Like,
what do you like? Do you like music? Do you
like comedy? Do you like art? I mean you're near,
You're you're near enough to fucking London, like a major,
major city. Can you get out can you put how
often can you realistically put yourself out there? I don't know.

(59:46):
I don't know what's the chat. Think someone said you
can go to a park or your front yard for free.
But that's by the way, that's a real fuck, that's
so real. What this person like like, Okay, you know,
make sure maybe I'm just like maybe I'm on the
thing of like, uh oh, you got to go into
London and go to like a crazy thing, but you

(01:00:07):
should literally just try getting out of the house and
walking around your neighborhood often, just like leave, just leave,
Just walk outside as much as you physically feel like
you can. That's the best I got. That's the best
I guy. That's what I do when I'm going in Sands,

(01:00:28):
I just leave. And I'm trying to make I'm trying
to make more friends too, and that's what I just leave.
Just leave the house because sometimes because sometimes a lot
of these issues, like even if you leave the house
and you don't make any new friends, you kind of
just feel better that you tried, right, You just feel
better that you tried. So again, if you can leave

(01:00:54):
your house in November to go to my show in London,
just just keep leaving in your house. Just keep them
in your house. Briah, good luck. What's the chat say?
London is mad expensive? I'm sure it is. I'm sure
it's a whole I was thinking that too. I was like,
it's probably a crazy money thing. But what the other
person in the chat said is accurate. Where it's like

(01:01:16):
you can also just walk outside. All right, how long
have I been going? For an hour? Okay, I kind
of want to keep going. Let's see. I'm checking Twitch.

(01:01:40):
I want to see how many people are watching this live.
I want to see if it's less that's about the same.
I'm having fun. I'm enjoying doing this. I'm gonna keep
making episodes of your male if I Even if this
gets less downloads, I'm still gonna do it. Or maybe

(01:02:01):
I won't, I don't know, but uh, I'm having fun.
I'm having fun. That's what matters. I'm having fun. I'm
feeling like this is good, this is a good thing
to do. Let's keep let's keep doing it, all right?
All right? All right? This from Liam. I'm a bartender,
and I have been for quite a while now. People

(01:02:22):
often don't realize how often bartenders in general are on
a substance and how often we fuck with annoying customers drinks. Jesus.
I've had multiple co workers who most of the time
are either drunk, high, or in some kind of mind
altering shift. Mind are some kind of mind altering state
on a shift. One of them once took a tab

(01:02:45):
of acid the night before a morning shift, and he
was slightly feeling the effects when he came into work.
Wasn't good, I'll tell you that. Also, if you're a
rude customer like the five percent, then there's a chance
you've drank something watered down with spitting it or a

(01:03:06):
dirty glass. Oh my god, I wish I'm forwarding this
email to John Tafford because this is not cool. Uh.
I mean whatever, you want to water something down, but
don't fucking spit in it. Jesus. All right, Connor, This
is from Connor. Subject line Hell yeah, right now, dear lyle,
right now. I'm supposed to be at work installing appliances

(01:03:28):
in an old folks home, but instead I am writing
to you. What are your top three least favorite candies?
Thank you for asking this question. By the way, loved
meeting you at the show in Pittsburgh. You killed it,
Thank you, sir Lisle. Oh then he wrote me a poem,
Lile Isle crocodile, hope your name is not on file Jesus,

(01:03:49):
I hope you find a very nice rock to live
out your gecko life. That's not what I thought he
was going to rhyme rock with and fold neatly your
gecko's socks gek bless love connor uh least favorite candies.
I'm gonna go licorice? Uh red vines. I think redvines

(01:04:14):
are disgusting. They're like they're like Twizzlers but with no flavor.
Uh black? Oh wait? What was what did I first saying?
Uh wait? What? Red vines? Black? Licorice and maybe like
hard butterscotch still gets too much in your teeth? It

(01:04:37):
is from Eddie subject line would you be mad? It
is from Eddie? Hi, my name's Eddie. Would it piss
you off? If I wore a penguin costume and broke
bad news to people on like stream and stuff? No?
Seeing you do this stuff really motivated me to want

(01:04:58):
to do something similar, But I wouldn't do it. I
wouldn't want to do it if it would make you
upset or make me make you think I'm copying you.
Let me know, because I wanted your opinion before I
started doing it. No, this wouldn't make me mad. This
is I get a dude. I get emails like this
sometimes where people are like, hey, man, I love what

(01:05:20):
you do. I was wondering if I could start a
call in show. I don't really want to like encroach
on your turf. And it's like, guys, people have been
doing First of all, people have been doing call in
shows since like the forever they've I did not invent
doing call in radio. You know, that's been a thing
since like the I'm making this up. That's been a

(01:05:42):
thing since like the seventies. But probably I don't know,
I don't know who. I don't know who did the
first call in the show, but I did not create it.
And then the whole thing of like doing it in
a costume. Uh, dude, here's the thing at this here's
the thing at this point in my journey of doing this,

(01:06:03):
I don't if you, dude, if you want to dress
up as a gecko, and if you want to make
a YouTube channel and dress up like a gecko and
call yourself therapy gecko and start taking phone calls and
saying I'm the therapy gecko. I'm it's not gonna change
my day to day life. I don't care. I really don't.

(01:06:26):
It's really not gonna change. I'm still gonna do my podcast.
Whoever's listening to it is still it's still probably gonna
listen to it. Maybe maybe they'll like yours too. I
don't know. I don't care. It's not I'm not like,
it doesn't affect me if you also wear a animal
costume and take phone calls. I don't. I don't care.

(01:06:49):
I have here's the thing, and I'm gonna I'm gonna
get pretentious for a second. I have my own personal
methodology of conducting this show. I have my own brain
and lived experience that I use to do it. As
do you, As do you, Eddie. You have your own

(01:07:12):
methodology to how you want to do your penguin shit.
You have your own lived experience, You have your own brain.
And those are the things. The fucking the costume and
the phone calls, those aren't the things they're gonna make
people wanna listen to your shit. It's it's it's you,
you know, and you and you can't be me. I'm
the only guy who's me, and I can't be you.

(01:07:33):
You're the only guy that's you. So I don't give
a fuck if you wanna. I mean, other people might
get mad. Other people might be like, why you like
not the penguin thing? Do the penguin thing. Don't care.
But if you dress up like a geck and you
call yourself therapy Gecko, other people might get mad at you.
But I won't go ahead, I'll do it. I'll be like,
this is a fucking it. Just it just won't affect me,
I don't think. So, I mean, go ahead, Eddie, do

(01:07:55):
whatever you want. Wear a penguin costume, go where where?
I seriously. I also, I hope I mean this. I
hope that your penguin costume stream makes you happy and
it's fun, and I hope you make a lot of
money doing it, and I hope you get really famous,

(01:08:16):
and I really and I all of those things could
happen to you, and none of them would affect me
in any way, shape or form, and I would be
I would be stoked for you, Eddie. So so please
do your penguin show. All right, Uh, let's keep going.

(01:08:42):
What's how long? Maybe I could do like if it's
been an hour and nine minute, I could do Like, yeah, fuck,
I'll keep I'll do a few more. I'll do a
few more. All right, where are we at? Uh? Okay,
this is from ABD subject line. I saw my grandma
pleasuring herself body. It was fucking terrifying and scary and

(01:09:06):
low key. My life ain't going to be the same anymore,
all right. So there's more of a chance that the
fifty seven year old schizophrenic guy who wants to fuck
Zebras is telling the truth than this person is telling
the truth. If this person wrote more than one sentence

(01:09:28):
about it, maybe I'd believe them. But fucking maybe they did.
Maybe they saw their grandma pleasuring herself. You know what,
I'm gonna take this at face value. I'm gonna actually
answer this. This is they just called themselves a b D. Listen, ABD,
your grandmother how old your granda? Your grandma's probably like
eighty seven, seventy eighty. You should be happy for your

(01:09:51):
grandma that she's still because your grandfather, your grandma, and
your grand I don't know anything about your grandma. Your
grandfather might be dead and your grandmother might have been
dead for a long time, in which case, your grandma
has not had sex for a long long time. And
as much as we'd like to believe that when we
get older we stop being horny, I don't think that's true.

(01:10:12):
I think if you're horny, you're just fucking horny forever,
and it never fucking goes away. And so your grandma
is horny, and she's she's jerking to let her fucking
jerk off. Dude, she raised your parents. She probably helped
you out a little bit, raise you, I used to you. Okay,
so you guys probably live in the same fucking house.
She probably helped you out in some way, shape or form.

(01:10:35):
Let your grandma jerk off. Why do you care if
your grandma's jerking off, Let it jernk off. You know,
hire her a like an escort or something if you
really want to not watch her jerk off? All right? Uh,
this is from Audrey. Hey, uh pissed story. That's what

(01:10:59):
the That's what it's says. Hi. My name is Joy.
Oh okay, well, hi Joy, my name is Joy. I
am so over COVID. Oh wait, no, no, no, no, that's
not what it says. That's not what it says. Hi, Okay,
I thought it said I am so over COVID. What
she meant to write was, Hi, my name is Joe

(01:11:19):
so over covid comma. Okay, Hi, my name is Joy
so over covid Comma. I worked at FedEx. I was
only there two months, but I made a mark. So
I was on the belt lines where you got to
load trucks and shit, and the drivers don't have bathrooms,
so they're pissing in gatorade bottles and shit. It grossed

(01:11:39):
me out. It's one thing to piss in a bottle,
but to not throw it away is gross af You
know what, I'll give you that, as a guy who's
pissed in many bottles and kept them for no reason,
I'll give you that. I'd complain to my manager basically
every day, and I'd be told to either ignore it
and work in close proximity to the piss or to
dispose of it myself. That's fucked up. Your boss was

(01:12:04):
just like, if you don't like it, why don't you
throw them away yourself? Goddamn all right? That shit made
me mad. This one faithful day, I came across a
huge plastic strawberry Kiwi Snapple bottle completely filled with piss.
So I kicked the bottle off the platform and wedged
the bottle beneath the tire of a truck I was loading.

(01:12:29):
The trucks leave like an hour after we load. The
next morning, I noticed all the drivers were in meetings.
Mind you, there were like six hundred people working at
this facility. Everyone was talking about the mysterious piss plosion. Okay,
So she strategically kicked the bottle of piss underneath the

(01:12:51):
tire of a truck so that the truck would explode
the piss bottle. The last few weeks I was there,
I didn't see a single piss bottle. Okay, So Base
she caused a piss explosion that was kind of like
the uh, the Oppenheimer bomb that ended the war. Essentially,
she she dropped a war ending nuclear piss bomb on

(01:13:16):
this situation. That just got everyone to be like, we're
not playing around anymore with the piss. Also, I love you,
Lyle Greenheart. You know I uh, you're taking matters into
your own hands. Joy. I respect that this is from
Jade uh subject line final words uh, Hello Gek. I've

(01:13:45):
wanted to call in to talk to you, but I
don't understand time zones with my busy schedule. Once I'm
home from work, my brain is soup. I have a funny,
sad story of one of the fire conversations with my
grandfather that many listeners would love. Most of us have

(01:14:05):
been hit with the financial hardships of twenty twenty four,
and I was feeling it early on in the year
as my family was getting together to celebrate yet another Christmas.
Growing up, I was always encouraged to be artistic by
my grandparents. My grandmother was always showing me new crafty tricks.
She thought it would be worthwhile to share her party
trick with me at a young age. I was about

(01:14:26):
five when I discovered I could do her party trick
as well. Oh God, I hope it's not the same
party trick as the other guys, Grandma. This trick being
writing people's names using my feet. This on its own
can get some good laughs from everyone. But as an adult,
I've thought about how I could turn that into a business. Oh,

(01:14:47):
you can turn that into a business, all right, you
can definitely turn that into a business. I don't know
if it'll be the kind of business, but if your
answer if the question is can you turn that into
a business? The answer is is definitely a yes. There's

(01:15:10):
lots of websites where people will pay you to write
their name with your feet. Uh. Okay uh. I'm joking
with my grandpa about selling feet picks since my art
business hasn't been gaining traction like I thought it would.
My boyfriend chimed in and said he'd buy the camera

(01:15:31):
for it and help take the videos. That's a that's
a that's a that's a good boyfriend. Everyone was laughing
about how they'd helped support me and my feet pick endeavor,
but they wouldn't look at my content. Well. Flash forward
just a couple of weeks and I get the heart
wrenching call that my grandpa had unexpectedly dropped dead. Is

(01:15:53):
this a story about a woman who starts off foot
only fans to honor her dead grandfather? I have to
read the rest of the email at the time. I will.
At the time, I wasn't reminiscing on our last conversation,
but once the memorial came and I was around my cousins,
I figured that would be a great time to share it.

(01:16:14):
Sure put a smile on our faces during such a
crappy time. Moral of the story is, you never know
when it will be your last time seeing someone, so
make sure you give them something to smile about. Side note,
can you ask chat if they'd buy personalized feet names.
I'm not gonna ask Chat. The answer is yes. The

(01:16:34):
answer is yes. If you really want to do this,
there will be a market for it. Thanks for having
a great show. I've listened almost every podcast. Thank you, Jade. Yeah,
this is a market for this. This is an established
market for this. Someone in the chat said personally, no,

(01:16:58):
but I bet someone will. I I double that sentiment.
All right, this is from Finn. How much? How long
have I been doing this? Maybe I'll do a few more.
Maybe I'll go up to an hour and a half.
By the way, please please let me know in the
comments if you want me to do more of these.

(01:17:20):
I want to do more of them. I'm having fun.
I have sixty six unready emails that I got to
get to and maybe I'll just do this. I kind
of want to do a part two of this because
I have a bunch more emails to read, and so
maybe I'll do Maybe I'll do like once a week.
It would be cool. I could do like, you know,
I put out two of these a week. Maybe I

(01:17:41):
could do one solo one and one one kind of
dear abby ish viewer mail one and then one phone
call one per week. Maybe not every week, I don't know.
Let me know what you think, let me know what
you'd listen to. All right, hold on, this is kind
of a long email, so oh crap, I say the

(01:18:03):
person's name already. All right, alright, This from Gene, subject
line how to get over bisexual men. Hello, I am
addicted to bisexual men. I don't know if I can
go back to straight men? Please? How do I get

(01:18:24):
over these bisexuals? All they know how to do is lie?
This is stupid. Why just be whoever you're whoever? You
fucking you're fine. I don't I know this person. I
feel like such a lame o because a lot of
these I know that they're joking, and I don't want

(01:18:45):
to come in being like I know that these people
are joking, but I don't want to come in being
like whatever, I'm gonna do it anyway, okay, obviously not
all No, it's so annoying this person's joking. I don't
I'm never mind, I'm not gonna do this because when
you my only retort is going to be something sincere

(01:19:08):
and I can't fight someone joking with someone with sincerity.
All right, Uh, this is from Jorge or George. Sorry,
all right? The subject line is peak season. Hello. I

(01:19:28):
already hate my job and how boring it is and
how worse it got after a year of being here.
I don't talk to anybody at all, and I just
fester in my thoughts most of the time. I hate it,
but I start getting bored of podcasts and music at
this point, and I don't know what to do about it.
Peak season might be the end of me. I decay.
It depends how I feel, But most of the time

(01:19:48):
it's this, Do you have any advice so I don't
go insane in my head during peak season November to December,
I might start relying on weed. But it's a dumb
fucking idea. As someone who does drugs to get through life,
it's not a good idea. I don't. I have so much.

(01:20:10):
I really actually want to help this person, but I
don't I have I don't know if I can give
this person accurate feedback, if without knowing what their job is,
or if they have any savings or where they live
or what they like or any of that shit. Yeah,

(01:20:35):
Do I have any advice so you don't go insane? Well,
ideally you're living a life that doesn't drive you insane
all the time, but you do need money to live,
and so I'm just like, how can you make money
to live while not going insane all the time? But

(01:20:57):
in order to answer that question, I feel like i'd
have to talk to you. I'm optimistic, though, I think
it's possible, So I don't know. I'm gonna skip this one.
Do you have any vice on not going insane? I'm
gonna skip this one. Just smoke weed and you'll be fine. No, don't, actually,
I mean you're gonna do it. So hang in there, George.

(01:21:18):
Sorry that one was bad. All right?

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:21:25):
What does anyone that chad have thoughts? All right? Whatever? Alright?
This is from Charlie. Subject line high Lyle. Charlie says,
Hey Lyle, I'm a longtime listener. I love your podcast

(01:21:45):
and videos. Thank you, Charlie. My name is Charlie. Hi Charlie.
I am twenty two years old and I'm having this
issue with myself. Recently, I lost my dream job over
me being irresponsible. I had moved out of my mom's
because I was making enough money to pay for my
own place, and I felt like I gained some freedom.
So I started to smoke a lot more pot than
what I used to, which led to me over sleeping

(01:22:08):
a couple of times and being late to work, which
they didn't tolerate, and they fired me. For now, I
don't see any purpose in life. I don't know what
else to do, how to be happy with myself in
my life. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Hmmm mmm, Charlie.
Sometimes in life you fucking fuck up. Sometimes in life, yeah,

(01:22:30):
fucking yeah, just fuck up. It's so weird. Like I've
been thinking a lot. I've been thinking about this a lot.
I've been thinking about how much of life is deterministic
versus in our own control. And I think back to
all the times in my life in which I was
fucking stupid and fucked something up, and looking back at
those times now, I'm like, I don't know if a

(01:22:53):
universe existed where I didn't fuck that up, because I
only had the emotional intelligence and perspective and in general
intelligence that I had at that time, which was unfortunately

(01:23:13):
not a lot. It was unfortunately not enough to not
fuck up. You can. I think I've been talking a
lot about duality and like holding space for both things,
and I think you can kind of hold space for
like I was kind of gonna not like not like
I was gonna fuck that up anyway, so who cares,

(01:23:33):
but like you can like a little bit of that.
But also, you know, you gotta kind of you gotta
like don't hate yourself into like, oh I suck and
I'm gonna be shitty and I don't know what else
to I have no purpose in life. I mean, you're
twenty two. You know you can. You can. You have
a lot of room to learn from your mistakes and

(01:23:55):
not fuck up next time, you know. So that's what
I would do, Charlie is I would try to adopt
an abundance mindset. I'm gonna get I'm gonna get motivational
speaker with you, adopt an abundance mindset. Just don't like
you'll get what's what's what's the dream job, Charlie, what's

(01:24:19):
the dream job? I want to know what this job was,
and I want I want to know why you can't
find a similar job or why you can't like if I, like,
if I had to place a bet on whether or
not I felt like you could find employment again, I
would bet that you could. So look at your life,

(01:24:44):
So look at So why don't you look at your
life from the way that I'm looking at it, which
is I don't know you at all. You're just a
random twenty two year old who was employed and is
now not. And I believe I'm optimistic you will find
you can. You're fucking you can find purpose and happiness

(01:25:06):
in life. You didn't like like, you didn't like, you're
not like in jail, you didn't like, get someone pregnant,
and now you have to take care of a kid
you're not you didn't like kill like you're You're fine,
You're gonna be fine. Just do just keep going, just
keep moving forward, Like if you need to take it,
if you need a day to go, I'm such a

(01:25:27):
fucking dumbass that I did this, and this I fucking suck.
Take it. Take your day to hate yourself if you
need it, But don't do it. If you just don't
do it forever, because then you're just throwing away your youth.
You have so like the like when I just look
at your life, just by the fact that you're twenty

(01:25:49):
two and you're not in jail or dead or seriously injured,
You're I'm like, oh my, you have so much to
your advantage. So just take just take inventory of everything
that's at your advantage and work off of that instead
of being like, I'm a piece of shit for you know,

(01:26:11):
I mean, yeah, take a little bit of time, examine it,
don't don't you don't maybe don't move on so quickly,
you know, be like, hey, you know, I probably shouldn't
have done that. That was probably a little stupid. I
won't do it next time, you know, learn, examine, analyze,
But don't you know, you don't have to. You don't
have to fuck yourself forever. You can get another job, Charlie,

(01:26:36):
What was this job? This is I actually I'm actually
really enjoying like reading people's reading stuff, but I I
am kind of like some details that would make this easier.
All Right, I'm gonna read literally one more and then

(01:26:57):
and then I'm going to stop, and then I'm going
to conclude this. Uh okay, let's see here. Uh okay,

(01:27:23):
this is from Dylan. Subject line, I broke my foot
back in April and have done nothing about it. Like nothing,
You just didn't go to the hospital. Okay, let me
read the email. Hi gak currently writing this on the
toilet at work. Very nice. So yeah, pretty sure I
broke my foot back in April this year. Go to

(01:27:43):
a fucking doctor. I was at a wedding and we
were dancing. Freebird came on, shout out free Bird. That
was the uh like final boss song of Guitar Hero too.
Free Bird came on, and I have a dance mood
and I have a dance move called the country high step.

(01:28:04):
Do you know how sumo wrestlers do their big sweep
step before they fight, Well, it's like that, but if
you grab your belt buckle and jump while you're slamming
your foot on the ground, that's that sounds bad. Picture
a gold miner in the eighteen hundreds doing a little
jig because he found a nugget and you got it.
That's very specific. Anyways, I was doing that and I

(01:28:26):
slammed my foot down one good time and I felt
a pop. Immediately thought, oh, this isn't good, and sat
down for the next few weeks, I couldn't put pressure
on the left side of my right foot. My solution
was to wear slippers everywhere. Go to a fucking doctor.
So it's been six inch months and now there's a
twinge in it when I step wrong, and I have
a slight permanent bump where my left foot has none.

(01:28:50):
All right, pretty sure. My manager is standing outside of
my stall. So that's it. Have fun with gecking, take care,
have a great day. Dylan. PS. I'm the cowboy from
the Seattle Show in twenty twenty two. I extra points
if you remember that. I absolutely remember that. I absolutely
remember the cowboy from the Seattle Show in twenty twenty two,

(01:29:11):
because dude, I'm gonna try to tell the story. Cit
there was a guy who came on stage at my
Seattle show at the Crocodile shout out the Crocodile Great venue, yeah,
two years ago, and he just wanted to talk about
being a cowboy. And then uh, I think some girl
like asked him a question like if he was single,

(01:29:32):
because like there's a part of the show where I'm like,
does anyone have any questions for the guest? And some
girl asked him a question like if he was single
and like they got like I just remember seeing them
like talking after the show, and I think either him
or like somebody else wrote like a post it note
to me that said the Cowboy scored and I was like,

(01:29:55):
I don't know what that. I was like, what, oh,
I remember you? I do remember the Cowboy anyway, Dylan. Okay,
here's what bothers me about this. You wrote, all right,
pretty sure on my manager is standing outside of the stall.
It sounds like you're employed, Dylan. It sounds like you're employed.

(01:30:17):
I don't know what kind of I don't know what
you do. I don't know if you're actually a cowboy.
Do you have health insurance? Go see a fucking Even
if you don't have health insurance, go see a doctor, Dylan,
Why are you asking me for advice? You don't even
think you're asking me for advice in this. You're just

(01:30:37):
you're just sharing. You just want to share that your
foot is about to fall off, Dylan, go to a doctor.
All right, I do remember you you wrote extra points.
If you remember that, I'm gonna can I cash in
the extra points that you're giving me to get you
to go to a doctor, cause if I can that's
what I'm gonna do to go to a doctor, Dylan.

(01:31:05):
I broke my foot back in April and I've done
nothing about it. How do you not? What do you?
Just because you like dressing up as a cowboy doesn't
mean you have to literally live like it's the eighteen
hundred's where you just break your foot and die. We
live in twenty twenty four. Go get your foot fixed,

(01:31:25):
all right. That's it. I have sixty three unread emails.
I don't know. I want to read them. I want
to read all of these emails, but I just don't have.
You know, an hour and a half feels pretty good
podcast length to me, folks. Let me know what you
thought about this. Spotify has comments now. Spotify is a
comment section, So go ahead and hit that Spotify comment section.

(01:31:49):
Go ahead and hit that fucking YouTube comment section. Thanks
for letting me try this. I'm really I'm excited about it.
I had a lot of fun doing this. I kind
of want maybe maybe if people like these, I might
spruce them in amongst the phone call episodes, kind of
maybe do like one of each a week or something

(01:32:12):
like that. I don't know, whatever, maybe maybe just phone
I don't know, I haven't decided yet. Maybe I'll just
do this once a month. I don't know, Just let
me let me know what you think. Anything else. My
tour is almost over. I go to therapy geckotour dot com.
I have a few tickets left and like literally like

(01:32:34):
less than ten left for my show in Los Angeles
on November ninth. I'm about to go to Europe. I'm
going to London, Berlin, Manchester, Amsterdam, Cologne, Glasgow, and Dublin,
and then I'm ending in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And you can

(01:32:55):
get tickets to all of those shows at therapy Gecko
tour dot com. And then I'm probably going to take
a very long time. No, I mean, I don't again,
I haven't decided yet, but I'm probably gonna take a
fairly decent amount of time off of streaming and no, no,
not streaming. I'm gonna take a fairly decent time away
from touring. I feel so lucky and grateful and happy

(01:33:18):
that I did. I pretty much did like two back
to back world tours twenty twenty four and twenty twenty three,
and it was awesome and I had a fucking great,
fucking time. I'm ready to enter a phase in my
life where I'm going to try to prioritize my physical

(01:33:41):
health because it ain't good. So, uh yeah, come see
me while while I'm still alive. That was dark, but
it's true. Come come, come see me that. I'll probably
tour again, maybe like a late twenty twenty five or
early twenty twenty six, but for now, if you live
in Europe or Los Angeles or whatever. The other place

(01:34:03):
I said was Minneapolis, Minnesota, come come to those shows
anything else. This was fun. I liked this format. I'm
gonna keep doing shit like this. I have more to
rant about. I'm always thinking about life, and I'm always
and now and now I have a stupid I have

(01:34:24):
a thing where I can share all my stupid thoughts
to a really a nice group of people. I'm really
happy that. I'm really happy with the audience that I have.
It's like the perfect Yeah, it feels perfect. Like I
don't want to be like like a Joe Rogan guy
where like everyone listens to it to that's too many

(01:34:45):
people listening to what you have to say. That's too many.
I don't think any one person should have that many
people listening to what they have to say. You know,
I feel like the amount of people that I have
listening to what I have to say is it is
a perfect amount. No more, you know, no less, it

(01:35:07):
is a perfect thing. So thank you guys, and I
don't know, I'm crazy. Thanks for listening to my thing
and share it with your friends, share it, make a make,
leave a review on Apple podcasts. All right now, I'm
just yeah, do all that stuff, all right? Thanks, bye,

(01:35:32):
see you again. Soon goes on the line taking your
phone calls every night.

Speaker 2 (01:35:39):
Ever, be goes do and he's teaching you

Speaker 1 (01:35:41):
A loud in them of your Life's not really an
expert

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Episode Transcript

Host

Lyle Drescher

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}READING VIEWER MAIL (aka ranting alone)