“WE’RE HAVING TROUBLE IN THE BEDROOM”

A caller is frustrated with her boyfriend’s sexual performance, a caller’s mom goes missing after cheating on his dad, a caller gives me an analogy that I will think about forever, and a final caller is plagued by mice. 

It is time to look at a bug. I am a gecko.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All from Lizard.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hello, Hello, how's it going good?

Speaker 3 (00:06):
You know?

Speaker 1 (00:07):
I mean, you know, I mean, it's it's all right.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
What did you say your name was? If you said
a name.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
You can just call me Lizard.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Lizard brings you what brings you on the phone lines today?

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Lizard, I've got like two things, so like it kind
of depends for sure, like I'm trying to figure out
the vibe, but also what I really want to talk about, So.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Just get honestly, I'd rather use tell me what you
really want to talk about?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Okay, Okay, cool. So I have a boyfriend and it
is it is, It's I've been with him a while now.
I've been with him a while now, and I don't
there's you know, there's certain things within a relationship that
I feel like, you know, loses its luster over time,

(01:05):
and it's just it's hard to discuss that, I guess,
you know. And yeah, yeah, mmm.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Can you tell me more?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Just like I think I'm his first real girlfriend. So
he is, you know, learning of course, but there are
some things that you can't really like learn by telling.
And I feel like I don't know how to help

(01:40):
to help him.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Okay, Like.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
You're you're so close, dude, you're so close. You almost
got it, but it just it doesn't right.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. How how old are you, guys?

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'm twenty five, he's twenty six.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Okay, and you're his first real girlfriend. And how long
are you?

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Has been together for like eight years now.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
You've been eight years? Holy shit? Okay, so he's well,
of course you're his first real girlfriend. You guys have
been together for eight years for sure?

Speaker 4 (02:13):
For sure?

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Okay, And you're saying that things have lost their luster
over eight years and you want him to do things
but you don't want to have to tell him to
do that.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, it's not that I don't. I feel like I
do tell him, but like he I don't know, man
needs to like watch something or like may I don't know.
I'm like at this point, like maybe you need to
like hook up with another girl and like, I don't know,
try things out.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Okay? Are all of these are all of the are
all of or most of these issues sexual? Or are
they other types of things?

Speaker 3 (02:56):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:56):
I think it's I think it's just that because he's
a great He's no o, we're all great. Guy, Like,
I just don't know how to like I don't know
how to help him out, you know, like I'm trying
to give him but it's just like it's it's been
hard for me. I guess in a way, I'm like, like, dang,
because I've you know, I've had I've had a couple

(03:17):
of boyfriends, so like I know my way around.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
But uh, well, I mean I don't know, man, you
haven't had a couple of boyfriends, and hopefully you haven't
had a couple of boyfriends in eight years.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
No, no, no, no no. But I'm just saying like I've
you know, had relationships before and feel like I've learned
my way and he hasn't had that type of experience.
So I'm like, how do I help you help me?
You know?

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Sure? But you were I mean listen, here's like you
were what seventeen when you had these other boyfriends, and
I assume these other boyfriends were also in high school.
So I don't know if you've I don't I don't
know if you've exactly run the gamut of you know,
sexual experience at that time. But that's not but that's

(04:05):
that's that's not important. Actually to go back to the present,
you want him, Okay, So this is all mainly sexual.
This isn't like I need him to hold the door
open for me and he's not doing it.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, you've got that on lockdown. I'm just trying to
help him out, you know.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Okay, well, well, well way that he feels like.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Oh man, I'm not doing enough or like I'm not
helping out enough, and I'm like, bro, you're great, yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
But he's he's not doing enough. What do you want?

Speaker 1 (04:40):
I just want him to like I don't know, I
guess do not research, but like you know, like be like, oh, okay,
she likes these things, you know, like let me like
like figure out like what is?

Speaker 3 (04:54):
What is?

Speaker 1 (04:55):
What do you do when you're in this situation? Your
girl likes this, like you know, like how do I
work with her on this? But he's just like, ah,
I don't know, you know?

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Oh yeah, but okay, So there's both of you guys
are being like vague, you know, because if because you're
over here and you're like, I don't want to have
to tell him this thing. But I don't even think.
I don't even know if you know what you don't
know that you want to tell him.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
No, it's not that I do.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I just don't know how to like tell him in
a way or like show him in a way that
he's like, oh, like, this isn't like her giving me criticism.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
This is her like.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Showing me, Oh she likes this, this is the way she.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Likes You know, what did you say? You're lizard? Lizard,
you guys have been together for eight years. You can
say to him, hey, I want you to do this.
I want you to you know whatever the fucking thing is.
You could just say to him that you want him
to do it. You know, he has been together for
eight fucking years. I mean, what is what you know?

(06:04):
If this was a guy, if this was a guy
that you were just getting to know and you didn't
want to make him think that you didn't like him
or whatever. Honestly, even if it was a guy you
were just getting to know, it's like, do you gotta
fucking tell the guy you know?

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:17):
No, I mean I have him. He just doesn't know
how to. I don't know if that makes sense, Like, uh,
like I don't know, do I I don't know. I
just I don't want to like be like, hey, I've
told you this and you're it's not really like matching
up like to what.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, let's get if if you're okay with it, if
we can get a little bit more specific, what are
you trying to get? Are you trying to get hit?

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Like?

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Does he just not have the equipment to do or
the stamina to do what you want him to do?
Is this less about knowledge and more about uh hardware?

Speaker 1 (06:57):
No, no, it's not hardware at all. That's the crazy part.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Okay, what is it? What is it about?

Speaker 1 (07:05):
It's just like I think, like, I don't know, like
how do I explain this? I tell him what I like,
maybe like being a little less gentle of course, and
then and then it becomes like like a maybe like
a performance a little bit, and I'm like, whoa slow
down this is that's a little that's a lot.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
That's all right. So for example, so for example, you
want like, for example, right you I assume you wanted
to take control of the situation.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, But then when he does it, it's almost like
you can tell that he's doing it in such a
way that he wants his performance to be positively reviewed,
and then it feels fake exactly. Yeah, Okay, yes, okay,

(08:00):
that's what I find, Like how.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Do I find a nice way to be like, hey, uh,
I can tell.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Just tell him just be, yeah, just tell him, just
be like, listen, listen, here's the thing this is about.
This is like an acting exercise almost. What you're trying
to get this guy to do. You're like being You're
like a director in this sense. It's like you're putting on.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
A plate gun right now, James gun is he's directing.
I got it.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Okay, Yeah, So here's your here's the thing, and what
this guy is doing is, uh, he's putting on a
thing instead of he's got to look within himself and
find like his his like dominant sexual energy, and then
you give him permission to do that and bring it out.

(08:49):
And I don't know if he feels like you've given
him the permission to go within himself and find that
and like authentically bring it out. And so instead, what
he's doing is like putting on a performance of what
you think he wants when you want him to just
like fucking you know want it, you know, so you
gotta tell so just so you gotta tell him. You

(09:10):
gotta be like, listen, listen, you're a fucking guy. You
find me attractive, You have some form of dominant sexual
energy within you. To go fucking find that ship and
bring it to me. Don't uh pretend to be a
character or something or put on a performance that you

(09:32):
think I want. I want you to look with it.
I want you to authentically desire this and find it
in yourself. You know, So you gotta you gotta kind
of kind of tell him.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
This is, this is why.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
It's literally like the simplest thing. But hey, I appreciate it, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
For sure, you see if you did, if you, please
bring him on the phone sometime. I want to hear
this from his perspective because I feel like because I'm
actually I'm curious about it because I don't like, maybe
this is have you like like when I'm curious about
this right because the thing of like he wanted, there's

(10:11):
like an authentic thing within him that he's gonna find
and bring out, Like have you when you first brought
this up to him? How did it make him feel?
Because maybe it is possible that he's putting on this
performance because he doesn't have some authentic thing within him

(10:35):
that wants to be more dominant, which is okay, but
that could just be the nature of who he is.
I don't know because I don't know this guy, Like
how did he how did he respond to this?

Speaker 1 (10:50):
A little bit defensively? He just was upset that, like,
you know, he's like, dang, like I wanted, you know,
I wanted to like make it great, and I'm like, no,
it's it is, but it's just there's like, you know,
like something that could be fine tuned. He just he
gets he beats himself up about it.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Mm hmmm mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, he's got to not do that. I mean that's
his problem, right, but uh, you know, coach him, the
coach him the best you can. Yeah, he's got to
find it within himself.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
He got it. I'm hanging in there. I got a coach.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Uh, is there anything else you want to say to
the people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Just have a great day or night.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
That's YouTube geck my.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Lizard that that's this is my Uh, this is that's what.
This is my first entry into doing like a couple's
sex therapy with a guy in a gecko costume. I
do believe that though, yeah, like if there's like if

(12:00):
if no, if like an authentic desire from his side
isn't there, she'll be able to tell. People can always
fucking tell if you're h playing pretend in some way. Yeah,
whether you're like acting or you're like doing uh but yeah,

(12:21):
doing anything like people can always tell. Hell, what's up? Man?

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Oh my god, dude, am I really on the phone
call with the get go?

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Oh yeah? What's your name? Brother?

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Oh dude, my name is Julian Bro.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Nice to meet you, man, Nice to meet you too, Jeweli,
and you got a good vibe to you.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Oh dude, man, almost I did. Fuck, I'm nervous.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Hold on, nah, don't be, this will be. This is
low stakes, brother, don't worry, dude.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
I've been listening to your show for three years now.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Man.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
I watch it every day while I'm out worth Dude,
I wait every every week for you to drop a
new episode.

Speaker 5 (13:02):
Man.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, thank you man, I appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Well listen, listen, Julian, let's get into you.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Let's let's hear what's going on in your life?

Speaker 3 (13:19):
Uh? Nothing much, man. Well my parents just split out too,
so that's one thing that's going on.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
How long were they together for?

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Oh man, they've been together for like twenty seven years.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
I believe whoa interesting Yeah, and what was it that
caused them to split up?

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Oh my mom cheated on my dad, so that was
kind of a big reason. Yeah. Yeahn man, I was sorry, nervous, bro.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
No, do don't don't be man, We're just we're just chatting.
You've nothing to be sorry for it all. How how
old are you? I'm twenty three, man, twenty three so
at the and your parents are just now getting divorced.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
They just did it in uh February.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
Okay, So, like, I don't know, it's interesting because like
at twenty three, twenty two, you kind of had you know,
you're an adult. You got your own shit going on.
So it's like, I feel like my parents got divorced
when I was god damn. Maybe like I must have
been younger than ten. Yeah, I must have been younger
than ten. So like I'm very heavily involved in the

(14:43):
situation at that. Yeah yeah right, So what what was
your level of involvement as an adult with this happening
in terms of like, well it yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
It was a it was a pretty bad to be honest,
I I uh, well, not pretty bad. I used to
go there all the time, you know, visit my parents.
Take my daughter there with him, get let her know
her grandparents and stuff, you know. So but I mean
as an adult now, man, you know, I don't support

(15:19):
cheating and nothing. If you're not happy, just leave. So
like me, I haven't talked to my mom since that
whole thing happens. So yeah, I haven't really much heard
I haven't really heard much about her.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
So really, you haven't talked to your mom since this
went down?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
No, sir, I haven't. She's been Uh, she's been m
I A.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
What was your relationship like with her before this?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
It was, uh, it was decent, you know, pretty good,
I believe, but she never really said nothing about her
having a boyfriend or nothing. So that was kind of
kind of weird when I first found out.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, so this is the main thing that kind of
broke your guys' relationship, Like it wasn't. It wasn't. Uh
sort of fractured a bit beforehand.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
No, it wasn't. That was kind of what broke the
capital back right there.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
What's your relationship like with your dad?

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Oh? Man, I talked to that guy every day, dude,
I could. I'll talk to him.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
How's he doing?

Speaker 3 (16:46):
He's doing pretty good man. He's uh, still has problems
with it here and there. You know, he'll call me
sometimes to talk about it. But he's a he has
to be taking it all right.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
And how old is he?

Speaker 3 (17:04):
He is forty six?

Speaker 2 (17:07):
Forty six. Yeah, both of you guys had kids fairly young,
it sounds.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, yeah, I had my daughter at seventeen.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Man, WHOA Okay, yeah, pretty young. Huh yeah. I got
questions for you about that later, but I'm yeah, yeah,
that's cool that you're so close with your dad. So
is he like dating?

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Now?

Speaker 2 (17:32):
What's he doing?

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Man, he is dating, So check it out, dude. He recently,
just not recently, maybe like two months ago, started talking
to this lady. He talks with her every days, out
with her, you know, and she has kids as well,
so he met her kids already. But her kids had

(17:55):
told my dad, if it's a something serious that you
want with our mother, you know, when are we gonna
meet your kids? But I'm kind of nervous about that
because it's a it's a whole weird situation. You know,
my parents have been together since I was born, and
it's like a whole new experience for me.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Oh, to start having like step siblings.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, interesting, yeah, because I I have uh four stepsisters,
but I got to know all of them again when
I was fairly young, so they've just always been there.
It was not like a new thing, you know. Yeah,
how did your dad meet this lady?

Speaker 3 (18:38):
Uh? Just partying, dude, just partying man party. Yeah, kind
of started living his bachelor Yeah, his bachelor life.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Wait, tell tell me, well, hold on, I got okay,
now I have all Right, we're gonna be talking for
a while. What's your name again, Julian man?

Speaker 3 (18:56):
Julian did you tell me whatever you want?

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Okay, I got Yeah, I'm bad with names, but uh,
we're gonna be talking for a while. Have lots of questions.
So he's partying. So actually, you know, I on a
personal level, I'm curious about this because I'm you know,
I love being out and about and running around doing things,
being you know, out of my house. Like I don't

(19:19):
I don't know if I could ever live like a
fucking uh yeah, like a boring like suburban life. I
don't think I could ever ever do that. But I'm
I get a little worried because I'm like, well, I'm
twenty seven, I'm fucking I want to have kids someday.
I want to do this and that and the other thing.
But your dad is forty six, he's gotta getah, I mean,

(19:41):
I guess, I guess. Divorced and already raised a sun
to the age of twenty two is pretty good. What
is hi? What does him partying look like? Where does
he go? What does he do?

Speaker 3 (19:53):
Oh? So I'm from California, man, so there's a bunch
of nightclubs around from where I'm from, and uh, he
goes very He hangs out on the weekend. He works
throughout the week, which is good, you know, and then
like Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, obi al hanging out with
his new girlfriend or just by himself.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
What does he do for work?

Speaker 3 (20:17):
He works in the fields right now?

Speaker 2 (20:19):
The fields?

Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah, the great, he thinks. Great.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
But your dad picks grapes during the day and then
goes to the nightclub at night.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yes, there, that's how my old man is.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Dude. That sounds awesome.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Oh man, he's cool. Man, I love him.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
That's so cool. Oh man, So what's he like? He
just go out by himself? Like to can I ask, what, like,
what city in California? You guys in.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Quorterville. Man, Quorterville?

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Is that what the atre.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
T of order?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Oh, Poulderville Order Order, Porterville? Okay, I'm way off.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yes, yeah, it's a It's an hour away from Bakersfield
and three hours away from LA.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
What are the nightclubs like in Porterville?

Speaker 3 (21:22):
It's just all the old people, man, That's why you
little going. You know, the younger generation they hit up
the casino here in Porterville, but the nightclubs are more
like older people, you know, trying to look out finding
new partner.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
It cool, bro, Yeah, I don't know if anyone listen,
if anyone deserved to be forty six years old at
the nightclub, it is your fucking dad, you know. I
think that's a because I think that's a good rule
of thumb because your dad you're twenty two, so your
dad had Yeah. So when your dad was twenty four,
I mean, I don't know what. I don't know what

(21:59):
his shit was like, you know, at that time. But
when your dad's twenty four, he's, uh, he's not partying
because he's taking care of Maybe he was, I don't know,
but maybe maybe your dad can work hard, play hard
like that. But I assume he's not partying as much,
taking care of you and you know, picking fucking grapes

(22:19):
during the day. I don't know how long that career was,
but to now, you know, his fucking wife cheated on him.
He's got a grown saw and he works, you know.
And if anyone deserved to be partying it up at
forty six, it's your dad.

Speaker 6 (22:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Man, I encouraged it to you. Man. Once I found
out he was kind of like sitting at home, you know,
just suppressed, not doing nothing, badly wants to talk. I
was like, hey, man, comal, let's go. I'll take you
off somewhere, take him out. He loved it ever since then.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
He doesn't even need me no shit. So you got
your dad into running around partying.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
Yeah. Well, me and my wife, dude, we uh, we
felt kind of bad because we would talk to him,
you know, and he sounded depressed. So we're like, hey,
come on, let's let's go. Let's go off somewhere.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
So cool and what was his life like like? Like,
what was his like day to day life like before
all this?

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Man, he just come home, played with me and my brothers.
You know, that was about it. Every once in a while,
he'll pick himself up a little battery pack of beer
and drink there. Watch his play. I was pretty much
it man. That was his day to day life, just
hanging out with his kids.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
M How many brothers do you got?

Speaker 3 (23:44):
I got to you.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
Are you close with them?

Speaker 6 (23:49):
Uh? The little one, yeah, I'm not so much the
middle one.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Is there a reason why?

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Uh? He just kind of went down the wrong path, man,
Try to strain him out, couldn't do it, you know,
I let him, Let him find out his own choices
have consequences.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Hm hmm. I won't pry if it's too much, but like,
what what what were the choices?

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Well, me and him, we grew up playing a guitar
and accordion, so uh he he recently joined a group
and uh, he's just been going downhill after that.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Man, you know those hold up, hold on, brother, I
thought you were gonna say he like joined a gang
or something. Not that he started playing accordion, so it.

Speaker 5 (24:40):
Was a not gang bang or nothing.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
You know. He Uh he hangs out with the with
the artists here in uh in our town, and uh,
you know, kind of the big party lifestyle leads down
the wrong path and you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
I kind of don't to be honest with you, like
because he doing like he's doing like hard drum and
ship like that.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
H soma. Yeah yeah, but like.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
No, I still kind of don't know what you mean,
Like it sounds like he's got like he plays the
Accordon accordion. He's hanging out with like musician artist people.
You know, maybe he doesn't you know, like what's like? Yeah,
I guess, I'm I am. I'm a little curious.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Oh, he just kind of does a coke I guess
here and there. And I personally don't don't uh in
uh what do you call it? Involve myself with those
kind of people, especially with my daughter being around. I
try to set a good example for my daughter, you know.

Speaker 7 (25:43):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
So that's how.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
It is, man, Okay, And what about the youngest one.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Oh man, that guy's a little gamer.

Speaker 6 (25:55):
Dude.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
All he does is just game.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
What's he playing?

Speaker 3 (26:01):
He loves Call of Duty, dude. He loves that hold
call it duty at Fortnite, you know, you know the
young kids play that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
I've never laid my hands on Fortnite ever in my life.
I don't know anything about it.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
Really, man, it's pretty fun, man, it's pretty fun.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
How old is the accordion guy he is when he won?
And you said you tried to straighten him out? What
does that mean?

Speaker 3 (26:39):
Just try to give him, you know, advise, hey man,
you know it's probably better not say, hang out with
these kind of people, get involved with these kind of
people that do this this drug, you know it. Maybe
put yourself in the in the with the right group
and then kind of progress from there. Make sure you
cause he does a gigs here in you know, on

(27:00):
the weekend. But the group that he's with isn't the
best influence on him. Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Okay. But but he's making the So it's mainly the
drugs that's the problem.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Yeah, yeah, I would say, so.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
Okay, And you don't think like it's better of the drugs.
I guess he's on coca all like all the time,
or he just like does it every now and then.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
Uh like every weekend he plays I guess.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
All right, yeah, and what do they all think of? Like,
what's there all? What's all their uh? How are they
all taking the divorce?

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Well, him, he doesn't really care. You know, he's got
his own thing going. But me and my little brother
just kind of Ah. You know, we're not used to
the whole situation of our parents not being together because
you know, we grew up with them being together. All
we knew was them being together. So it's not the best,
but we're kind of working through it.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Did they have as close of a relationship to your
dad as you do?

Speaker 5 (28:23):
Uh?

Speaker 6 (28:23):
Yeah, the little one, the little brother, but the middle
one he doesn't really have a relationship with my dad
for that same reason.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
M And nobody has heard from your mom. Your mom
is completely m I.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
A completely Mia man. All last time I heard she
has a boyfriend, but never met the guy or anything.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Do you want your mom in your life or do
you not care?

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Well, I'm I mean I kind of do want her
in my life for the same reason that I wanted
to see my baby, her grandchild. But she hasn't owned
up to what she had done. You know, she still
till this day, says that he didn't cheat on my dad,
that there was a whooking going on that we didn't

(29:22):
know about. But it all comes down to it. My
dad has her on video with another guy at the
cemetery late at night, so it's like, well, here's the evidence. Well,
what do you want me to do? Mhmm, yeah, what do.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
You do for What do you do for work? Julian?
Did you tell me already?

Speaker 3 (29:47):
No? I haven't, man. I think construction, bro, that's what
I do.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
How long you been with your wife?

Speaker 3 (29:54):
I've been with her? Or since I was seventeen, man, seventeen, eighteen,
nineteen twenty or two long two six years.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
I like your life, Julian. That's why I have so
many questions you. You strike me as a I don't know,
you're You're a real man. You know, you you're like
the eldest of the two. Like it seems like you're
like you're like the guy of the family. It feels
like you're like the and you're what twenty.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
Three twenty three.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
And it seems like you're like the point person of
the of the fucking family, you know. Like I mean,
you're you're taking care of your you know, trying to
get your brother off of drugs. You're getting your dad
out at the club, being less depressed, You're taking care
of a fucking kid. You're working at construction like you're.
I got I got a lot of respect for you, man.

Speaker 6 (30:47):
Thank you, man.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
I appreciate it. Man. It is kind of hard, you know, mentally,
but I'm sure I'm looking through it.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
That's really fucking cool.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
To try to be happy around my kid, you know,
not not let those things affect me. But there's only
so much you can do.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah, of course. So you got with your wife when
you were seventeen and then like, yeah, how soon after?
Like was it just like was it like a one
night stand to turn into a pregnancy that you decided
to keep?

Speaker 3 (31:18):
No, we had been going out for I want to say,
like two months and then COVID hit, and then once
COVID hit, we both got it. So we were kind
of sleeping in the same room and you know, you're bored,
don't have nothing.

Speaker 4 (31:34):
To do all day.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
So you have a kid.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Yeah, so you have a kid, you know, get the
time rolling.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Yeah, that's pretty much my life right there. Man.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
It's interesting though, because like, yeah, kind of like your dad.
It's like you, you know, I think there's yeah, obviously,
I think having a kid at seventeen has a lot
of fucking downsides. But if you had to find an upside,
it's like, well, you'll be done sooner like your dad,
you know.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Oh hell yeah, man, my dad. I think he had
me at like twenty and right now all his kids
are grown up, you know. The youngest is eighteen. Yeah,
and that guy's enjoying life right now, going to the club,
loving life now. And I'm probably I'm happy for me, know,

(32:33):
I want him to be happy. I want to help
him find someone, and it seems like he did already.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
My dad is sixty something, and he he said to
me once, he was like, you know, the nice thing
about having kids is that the only really take up
a lot of time from your life for like sixteen years.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
And then pretty much they're on their own.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
And then they're on their own. And it's funny the
way he said it, the way I took it. I
was like, sixteen years, it's a long time. But then
to see my dad being like, you know, he's older
and he's enjoying his life still, it is cool. You know,
it's like, oh, I guess maybe that is like.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
Not that long, oh man. Like my daughter right now,
she's four. Yeah, she's learning. Man. She has full sentences
with you. She'll ask you, she'll I'll come home from work,
she'll ask me how's your day, dad? Oh man? Cool,
And it's crazy. Man. She blows my mind sometimes on

(33:44):
the questions that she asked me.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
That's so cool.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
But yeah, man, oh yeah, it's my bad, dude. I'm
just kind of nervous. Man. I've been doing for so
I don't know how long.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Dude, You got nothing to nervous about it at all?
Does your wife work?

Speaker 3 (34:07):
She just finished school, man, she's trying to get a
job right now.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
What's she trying to do?

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Phlebottom?

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Oh like drawing people's blood and ship?

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Yeah, yeah, that's what That's what she went to school for.
And the job Mark did for that is kind of low,
so there's a she can't release a new job right now.
But like I told her, man, hey, my incomes to
worry about that.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Oh ship, Yeah, Julian, your phone is sucking up real quick,
your phone is sucking up.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
Oh my bad, man, my bad.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
No worries. What were you saying? I?

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Like I told her, man, my incomes supports both of us,
so she doesn't really have to worry about finding a
job right now.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Are you getting in a car?

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Yeah? Man, I'm beating work right now.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
Oh what are you gonna do when you get home? Uh?

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Just hang out man, pretty much that's about it. Hang out,
play with my daughter for a little bit. That's pretty
much my day.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
When you're forty six years old, do you do you
plan on going to the club?

Speaker 3 (35:33):
Well, if I'm seeingle, yeah, but if not, I'll plan
on goal with my wife.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
That's cool. What do you guys like to do outside
of just your regular life?

Speaker 3 (35:45):
Pretty much nothing. Now we keep it simple. We just
like hanging out with each other. It's pretty much it.
Anywhere I go, she goes, anywhere she goes, I go. Yeah.

(36:07):
What about you, man, how are you doing.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
I'm doing I'm doing pretty good. Uh yeah, I'm doing
pretty good. I'm learning to enjoy my life bit by bit.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Oh yeah, man, you need life right there.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Yeah yeah. I haven't spending too much time trying to
be anywhere else except where I am. Causes a lot
of dissonance. What else was I going to say to you?

Speaker 3 (36:37):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah, you said it's hard. You said your life is hard.
Sometimes you have a heart, you seem like you have
a difficult thing. I mean, you have a lot of
people who you're looking out for.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
I just kind of gets to me a little bit
because at the same time I'm happy for my dad.
That he's going out, you know. But I'm not mad.
It just bothers me a little bit because, like I said,
all I knew was my parents being together. So I
just kind I just kind of get got to get

(37:09):
used to the experience.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
I guess, why did you say that all you needed
was your parents together?

Speaker 5 (37:18):
Well, no, I didn't.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
I didn't need them together. It's just like all I
knew was them being together.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Oh sorry, I had misheard you. Oh yeah, what do
you think about your So you haven't met your dad's girlfriend?

Speaker 3 (37:36):
No, I haven't, man, haven't. Well, I've met her once
and it just so happened that there was a checkpoint
when they're getting home from the club and his girlfriend
didn't have a driver's license. This was I got two
in the morning. Man, So I guess my dad didn't
want to call me because he didn't want me to

(37:56):
meet her yet. But I guess they had no one
else that's the driver's license. So that was the only
time I've ever met her. M Yeah, but I guess
he's met her kids and everything, and now her kids
are trying to meet us, and I don't know how
to go about that.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
Are you would you? That sounds like nice though, right,
don't you want to meet them?

Speaker 6 (38:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (38:21):
It sounds nice, But just like I said, man, it's
just like a new experience for me that I'm not
used to. Mm hmmmm yeah, Like like when you meet
your step sisters. How how did that?

Speaker 5 (38:37):
How was that?

Speaker 4 (38:38):
God?

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I don't even remember it because I've known my stepsisters
for so long, although I remember I was really young
when I met them, so I think I felt a
little bit of like resistance, like I think that they
felt when I was younger and my parents were divorced,

(39:03):
and my dad would like bring home someone new and
I would meet them, and uh, you know, even my
step mom for a long time. I think for a
long time, my step mom felt very foreign to me.
I remember I was, I like, was at a diner

(39:24):
once with my dad and my now stepmom, I don't
know if they were married yet, and I had like
a ice cream Sunday or whatever, and I offered my
dad a bite of it with the spoon, and that
he offered my stepmom a bite of it with the

(39:44):
same spoon, and then I said, uh, I'm gonna go
get a new spoon. Okay, I felt, and you know,
I remember that, and I and I'll say, honestly, even
remembering that, I feel really bad about that because it
made sense to me when I was a kid to
like just reject this foreign presence like everything. Yeah, it

(40:11):
just made it made sense to me to reject that
and to like be upset about that for no real reason.
And now that I'm older, I understand that, Uh, like,
well I lucked out. I really lucked out because my

(40:33):
my stepdad is amazing and my step mom is amazing,
and like those are two really great people, and you know,
I'm glad that my both of my parents found people
for them and I got I used to for a
long time. Yeah, like I wouldn't. It took me. How

(40:53):
old am I? It took me like ten years to
like say I love you to my stepmom and like
take and like understand that she was like trying to
like be a part of my life and she was
trying to be helpful and she was trying to be
good to me. Yeah, and that like I was, you know,
I mattered to her, and to like take that. My

(41:16):
step my step sisters, I don't I haven't really uh
you know, I see them, but I they kind of
you know, they they live in different places and they
have their own lives.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
But yeah, you don't really get to see them in much.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
No, not really, but yeah, when I, yeah, growing up,
they felt like kind of strangers to me. And as
I get older and I become and it's it's a
it's a straight up just like maturity thing of like,
as I get more mature, I try to be like, oh,
these these are people. These are people that people I

(41:52):
care about, care about, and I should be I should like,
I should like really accept the the family, and you know,
I should you know, have a long term view, like
these people are gonna be in my life. These people
are my family. I should take that in with me
and I should really, like, uh, put in active effort

(42:14):
to make it so that these people are family. And
even the idea, the idea that somebody who's not blood
related to you can be family was foreign to me
for my entire like childhood and adolescents. And that's I
think that's even like a thing. I think that's a
difficult thing for like a adolescent to understand.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
You.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
No, I don't know if that was just that, but yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
I'm willing to meet them, you know, I don't I
don't have nothing against her or her family, you know,
like they said, if it's something serious between them two,
well when are we gonna meet your kids? And same
thing I told my dad, you know, well, if it's
serious between you and her, when are we going to
meet her and kids? But he still hasn't gotten back

(43:04):
to me on that because he's, uh, he's out working
and partying.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
So yeah, I mean I think if you're I think
if your dad really likes this lady, you should totally
you should totally meet her.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
Well, yeah that's what I'm well, I mean, I do
want to, but at the same time, I just kind
of don't. So I'm just stuck in between those two
right now.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah, fair enough, but.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
You know, you know how it goes.

Speaker 6 (43:42):
Man.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
But yeah, like I said, I if it's really something
serious between then two, I'm I'm willing to meet them.
I have nothing against them, you know, if they love
my dad and I love them too. I guess.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
It was nice talking to you. You're a cool guy.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
Nice. Thank you, man. I thought I've been waiting so
long to talk to you. Man.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Yeah, this is sorry.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
That was the only thing I bought up.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
But I have Julian, you have nothing to be sorry
for this was a really nice It was really nice
talking to you. Uh yeah, thanks for giving us this
little peek into your life. This is These are the
things I like about doing this show.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
Man, and I love watching your show. D I'll up
in my earphones and I'll listen to your podcast.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
All day and man, thank you brother. Is there anything
else you want to say to the people of the
computer before we go?

Speaker 3 (44:42):
No, I get no. I just kind of keep on going. Man,
that's what you can do.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
You beautiful, Good luck with everything. Julian, take take care.
Tell your dad. I tell your dad. The Internet gecko
guy that you listen to says hello.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
Hell yeah, man, thank you, Lyle. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Bro, Thank you, Julian. You have the rest of the night.
Man you do. That was Julian. I liked that guy
a lot that I was cool. Uh shit, what else? Yeah,
I was cool, he had a cool life. I like
hearing about his dad. Really just a man, I feel

(45:27):
I've talked about this on the show so many times.
I don't know if anyone who listens to it relates,
But there's so many people that I meet on doing
this show or like talk to on the phone that
are like younger than me, or that I'm like, this
person is so much more of like a man than
I am, like so much more of an adult. That's

(45:48):
really what it is. I think that that's really what
like fucking being an adult is. Is like if you're
the cause, Like I'm sitting in a chair right now,
I could sit in this chair until I died of starvation,
and it would like nobody else would die if I

(46:10):
did that, Like everything every I mean, people would be upset.
I have people in my life who would be upset
if I died, of course, but they wouldn't like other
than mentally there, they would be able to continue their lives.
I think it's one. I think it's once you have
other things that require you to not die, like I think, Yeah,

(46:33):
I think that's the difference between like uh, I think
that's what makes an adult is like some massive amount
of responsibility. Uh and yeah, and yeah it's cool man
like the way Julian like, you know, his fucking kid,
he's trying to help his brothers, he's trying to help
his dad. Like he's he's a good guy. I like
that guy a lot. Hello, what's up?

Speaker 3 (46:58):
You're joking?

Speaker 2 (46:59):
I'm not. It's me. What's going on?

Speaker 4 (47:01):
Oh no, this is simultaneously a great time and also
a bad time.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Oh okay, why is it a bad time?

Speaker 4 (47:09):
I'm at my dad's house for dinner and it's his birthday.
He's putting clothes in the laundry right now.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Oh, do you have time?

Speaker 3 (47:14):
Well?

Speaker 2 (47:15):
So, why is it a great time?

Speaker 4 (47:17):
Because I can't believe this just happened. My little brother
told me to call it, and so I did.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Do you have time to talk for like a little bit?

Speaker 4 (47:25):
Yeah, yeah, I'll give it.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
I'll give it a good few.

Speaker 5 (47:27):
Minutes, all right.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
Cool?

Speaker 4 (47:28):
My brother to go between and let my dad know
what's going on.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Okay, cool? How old is your dad turning?

Speaker 4 (47:37):
He was born in nineteen seventy four. He's fifty one.

Speaker 5 (47:42):
He's fifty one.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
How's he doing?

Speaker 3 (47:46):
He's doing pretty good.

Speaker 4 (47:47):
Go tell him what's going on?

Speaker 5 (47:49):
All right?

Speaker 4 (47:50):
He just came back.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Go inform your dad of the situation.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
Yeah no, I can't believe this is happening. Uh So
I actually sent you an e and you read it
very recently.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
Oh really, okay, tell me what the was? What the
email was?

Speaker 4 (48:06):
I went to the concert. I was going to go
by myself and then I won free tickets and I
took my family.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, you said nothing good ever happens.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
To you, not particularly this that would qualify as something good.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Do you what? I Yeah? What else did you say
in that email? Was that it?

Speaker 4 (48:26):
I mean, I wrote you before a while ago because
I I I talked about burning my journals.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
I have.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
I moved back home like seven months ago. Now I'm
shaking a little bit, but we're doing it. Uh. Yeah,
I moved back home. I was with my partner that
I had been with for almost eight years and went
through some mental stuff being on my own that it

(48:56):
just didn't quite work out, and I was bringing us
both down a little bit. Oh, I came back home.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Hmm, I have been How have things been since you've
been back home?

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Good?

Speaker 4 (49:10):
Good for the most part. Like I mean, I'm healthy.
I'm healthy and I'm here. I only smoke weed as
I whisper, and I don't do anything crazy. But at
the same time, oh my, I get my social interaction.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
From your show.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
You get all of your social interaction from my show.

Speaker 4 (49:35):
I would say ninety percent of it.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
By Like are you do you talk in the twitch
chat or you just mean by like by like listening, no,
by proxy podcast like by listening to the podcast. Yes, okay,
I have multiple things to say to you.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
What did you say your name was?

Speaker 4 (49:56):
It might be ready, It's Alexis Alexis.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Well, first of all, thank you for listening to the show.
I appreciate it. But I do need to inform you
that this doesn't it doesn't really count as social interaction.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
I'm very much aware I had a feeling.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
You were aware of that. Okay, where's the.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
I'm like fifty of the way there.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
This this vaguely counts as social interaction. Yeah, this vaguely
counts as social interaction. This counts as much as social
interaction for both of us. I would say, yeah, uh, okay,
where's the other ten percent come from?

Speaker 4 (50:50):
I live with my I mean, I live with my family,
so I think pretty much that's my day to day.
There's four people in my house, so it's like relatively busy.
But at the same time, I just I don't go out.
I go out for appointments, I go out for work,
and that's pretty much it. I mean I had friends
when I moved, you know, a year ago from my

(51:11):
old job. But once I came back, I was kind
of like, well, I disappeared off the face of the earth.
It'd be really weird to just kind of sert myself
back into their lives.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Do you like your well, I have multiple questions. Do
you like your family? Do you like hanging out with them?

Speaker 3 (51:31):
I do?

Speaker 4 (51:32):
I have, I mean, one younger brother that keeps me
on my toes, and then my older brother that I
can just like, you know, be myself with. And I'm ah,
that's just I mean, she's she's she's great, she's over
protected that type.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
But yeah, how does your little brother keep you on
your toes?

Speaker 4 (51:54):
He's just a goof. He's very connected to the internet,
so he keeps me a price on whatever the hell
is going on on the internet, even though I don't
want to know about it. He does a lot of editing.
He does a lot of editing. He does soccer videos.
Boys got twenty one thousand followers.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
Cool on TikTok.

Speaker 5 (52:13):
Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 4 (52:16):
He's going to be fourteen soon.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Cool. That's awesome.

Speaker 4 (52:20):
Yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, doting moreshit with his life
than I am right now.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I used to edit videos when I was like, yeah,
when not. Yeah, yeah, I started, I started making movies.
I started, I mean I was editing videos. Yeah, when
I was like fucking ten or some shit. I feel
like the the Internet. Yeah, well I have multiple thoughts
because I'm like, what on some level I get scared of,
like the version of the Internet that the youth are

(52:50):
in now. Yes, but then I'm like, how old are you?

Speaker 4 (52:54):
I'm twenty seven?

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Okay, Yeah. Our our version of the Internet when we
were fourteen, it wasn't it. It wasn't that fucking different.

Speaker 4 (53:04):
Like I don't I don't even know what I used
the Internet for. I use it for email.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yeah, but like I don't know, like we had like
fucking you know, Tumbler, and we had like our own
weird yeas and ship. Like it's not like our our
brain rot wasn't as like maybe it's the like the
like the short form video endless scrolls. Ship is a
little yeah different now, but anyway, that's a a's a
tangent from the other. You're good as a tangent.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
It's just everything on the Internet now was like it's
just over stimulating.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
Yeah, their Internet is definitely a little bit more stimulating. Man,
I'm unked out. I don't remember. There's some there's a
lot of things I was gonna ask you before I
went on that you're good.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
I'm just like I I wasn't even like allowed, Like
I wasn't allowed to have even an email until I
was in like fourth grades, so I was just not
even on the internet. Like. That's good though, Yes and no,
I'm definitely an introvert.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
So do you want more social interaction in your life?

Speaker 4 (54:13):
I do?

Speaker 3 (54:14):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (54:16):
I feel like I mean, people call and they say
the same thing all the time. It's so hard to
make friends like organically, and all the people that I
work with right now, I'm just working at a like
a fast food place basically, and they're all like twenty
years old. M the kid managers.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Uh So, where did you move from? And then where'd
you move to?

Speaker 4 (54:39):
I was so I grew up in Chicago and I
moved to Ohio for like I was there for maybe
like eight months. I almost made it a year. Yeah,
now I'm back to Chicago.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Are you like, like, are you like deep suburbs Chicago
or like how close are you to the city?

Speaker 4 (55:03):
No, like right now I'm in the middle of the city.
Like my dad, Uh lives in like the Mexican neighborhood,
so it's it's been popping here a little bit. The
school that my brother goes to sometimes they won't let
the kids out because of like ice in the neighborhood,
and like there's phone trees for people to you know,
drop their kids off that you know, for like one

(55:24):
person who's going to pick up ten kids and bring
them all home. Like it's kind of.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Nuts over here, Oh because of ice. Yeah, that's fucked up.
That's crazy.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
Yeah, this is the first time I've been over here
like in a while, but my mom's house, where I'm
normally at is like just outside of the city.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Yeah, didn't they just do like a whole like insane
fucking raid.

Speaker 4 (55:47):
I'm pretty sure I know that they were fucking like
tear guys and the cops themselves, Like I don't know,
I don't. Yeah, I'm like I really like as much
as I stay off I stay off the internet for
like everything I'm on Reddit, that's pretty much it.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Well, I well, actually, you know, because you stay here,
let me say it, Because you stay off the internet,
you're the best person to ask because it's like, if
something's happening and you know about it, even not being
on the internet. That means it's like fucking real, you
know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (56:22):
Yeah, yes and no, yes and no I hear something,
it's just like like all that can't I don't know
if that's real or I hears something that is real
and I'm like, but it's fake though, I'm like they
made it up.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Well. I just mean to say, like, if like, if
you're like, if you're like on Twitter, like you'll find
a new thing to be outraged and pissed off about
every day. But if you're like, oh yeah, and if
you're like walking around the street and living your life
and witnessing things to be upset about, that that's you know,
that's like uh.

Speaker 4 (56:53):
You know, yeah, just different level of impactful. I guess, right.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Okay, so you live in a big, major city, so
I don't know. I don't I'm not going to go
on the whole rant that I always go on, but uh,
you you can have social reaction outside of my podcast
if if.

Speaker 4 (57:13):
You desire, Yeah, I think I think I'll get there
soon enough. I mean, I'm gonna be tired of being
cramped up in my house. But now it's winter, nobody
wants to go outside.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Oh yeah, Chico sucks in the winter.

Speaker 4 (57:29):
It's already less than fifty degrees and it was like
seventy last week.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Yeah, okay, why do you say that nothing good happens
in your You seem like you seem like dissatisfied with
your life. I don't know if I'll be able to
change that on this phone call, but i'm I we
can talk about it if you want to.

Speaker 4 (57:50):
Just like the quick of it. I mean, I've I've
been in that out of school for ten years now,
you know, college, uh, and it's just I'm I thought
I wanted to be a doctor who was just one
of those things, and I was like, wow, this sucks.
And now I'm trying to go to nursing school. But
I've been trying to go to nursing school for probably

(58:11):
like five years, just you know, health and mental health
things have just kept me kind of in this loop.
But I think when I, uh, I moved so, I
mean when I moved away, a lot of the like
the guts and the inspiration honestly came from listening to
your podcast of like you just have to try some shit,

(58:32):
and I was like, I, you know, I need to try.
I need to try living on my own, and like
I was going to school out there too, and I
kind of had like this my plan was set at
that point, but it was set you know, with my partner,
and so when that kind of changed, all that went away.
It was like all that motivation was kind of gone.
It was like, you know, now my future looks different

(58:53):
and now it's really up to me to figure that out.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
When did you break up with your partner.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
In February?

Speaker 2 (59:06):
So it's up to you to figure out your future.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
It's heavy shit.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Kick it is heavy shit.

Speaker 4 (59:13):
Okay, though I'm gonna drop the but how are you doing?

Speaker 2 (59:16):
No, it's no, it's heavy, it's heavy shit. It's uh yeah.
That's one of the scarier that That's when I had
my existential crisis is when when life got Yeah, because
when you uh, well, at least from like one to eighteen,
life is pretty on the rails, right, and then it

(59:39):
gets a little and then like when you go to
college maybe and it's it's still on the rail, and
then you're twenty two and then something like I felt
like I had my eccential crisis because I felt like
my life was like on the rail like things were
figured out in some sense for a while, and then

(59:59):
they and then they and then I realized the future
was up to me and that was really spooky heavy ship.
Ah yeah, And then where do you go from there?
I don't know. That's like, it's like trying to It's
a very open problem.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Uh. But you can't fester in it or else you
will you will die.

Speaker 4 (01:00:30):
Bro, I've a beenfest No, You're good, I've been festering.
But I'm like, have that I haven't. I'm moving very slowly.
I think, I'm I do see. I see a couple
of therapists and they're telling me that I might be
graduating on to a new therapist. So I feel like
that's progress.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
What does that mean? You graduate onto a new therapist?

Speaker 4 (01:00:54):
I Uh. The issue that I have is I have, like,
all right, I have a history of like eating issues,
not eating enough, that kind of stuff, and because of that,
I have like sick, like vomiting episodes. It's pretty wild.
So I've been to the er for that kind of stuff.

(01:01:17):
And when I was in Ohio, it got really bad
and I so I needed to come home because I
needed like medical help and mental help. So that's Yeah,
that's the quick of it. So I was seeing a
gi psychologist like gastro psychologists, which I didn't know they existed.

(01:01:38):
Could be a ploy for more money, but they sent
me there and it helped, So I might be moving
on to someone else now. Stuff works. It is one
of those things. But it's like it's a marathon.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
What kinds of stuff do you eat?

Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
Now?

Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
Oh my god? I mean I eat like a child.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
I Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:02:00):
The best thing that I eat is probably like black
bean burgers. I just had minnestroni minnestroni soup for dinner.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
What is ministrone soup? Yeah, it's a vegetable soup. It's like,
uh Italian. It's really just like noodles, tomato based potatoes,
carried zucchini, whatever the hell you want to put in there.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
That sounds normal, Yeah, delicious.

Speaker 4 (01:02:28):
I eat a lot of pizza same and a lot
of a lot of pasta, a lot of bread.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
I have.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
I've had the same thing for breakfast every day since
March of banana peanut butter and banana smoothie.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
Wait, that's what I have every day for breakfast?

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
Are you shitting me? Right now?

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
Every day for breakfast I have a smoothie with peanut butter,
almond milk, banana, and a dash of protein powder. O.

Speaker 4 (01:03:01):
It's delicious.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
It's delicious, and it keeps me pretty full. I think
it's healthy. Let me know, okay, if anyone in I okay,
because I've been eating this. The first time I discovered
a peanut butter banana smoothie with almond milk, peanut butter, banana,
and protein powder, I was like, wait, this tastes really good.

(01:03:28):
There might I don't and I don't know a lot
about I'm not a nutrition guy. Uh, let me know
in the comments, folks, is that healthy? Is there anything
like it seems anything that like tastes really good. I'm like,
there's gotta be something bad about eating this every day.
But it's see, I mean like peanut butter is a

(01:03:48):
normal food, Bananas are a normal food. Protein powder is
I guess normal? Like it seems like you know, you
know what I mean. It's not like a milkshake, but
it feels milkshaking exactly exactly. So there's always a catch.
There's always a fucking catch, And I want to know
if there's a catch.

Speaker 4 (01:04:08):
As far as I know, there there isn't one, and
I would not like to know about it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
If there is, I want to know about it.

Speaker 4 (01:04:14):
If there is no, it would destroy my routine.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Yeah, yeah, they yeah, No, food's been Actually, food's been
pretty good lately because I'll yeah, I'll have the smoothie
and then the protein ship. It like kind of keeps
me satiated for a while till it's till it's time
for you know, lunch.

Speaker 4 (01:04:38):
Yeah, which we must we must have.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
I guess, Yeah, why have you been skipping meals?

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
Oh my god?

Speaker 4 (01:04:45):
Yeah, I'm a I'm a smoothie person. And then I'll
like snack and then at dinner time.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
As yes, press about what I'm doing lately, But that's
good for like losing weight. I don't know if that's
your what's what you're on.

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
No, it's not what I'm trying to do. And the honestly,
I put so much peanut butter in the shape it's
like it's it's like a maintenance thing. It's like as
as many calories as I can get in there.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
Mmm.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
Fuck, I feel like an idiot asking your name again.

Speaker 4 (01:05:15):
But it's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
I could have remembered. I could recall pretty much everything
you told me in this phone call, except for your name.

Speaker 4 (01:05:24):
It's okay. I trust you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
Quiz me. Ask me anything about your life. I'll remember it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:29):
Where did I move from Ohio?

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
Wait?

Speaker 5 (01:05:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
No, no, wait? Do you move from Chicago to Ohio? Ask
me another thing? Keep asking me question.

Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
Yeah, I guess that was a bad question.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
That was a bad question.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
No, no, that wasn't That was a good question. Keep going.

Speaker 4 (01:05:43):
How many therapists do I have?

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
Mm?

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Three?

Speaker 4 (01:05:48):
Almost it's two?

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
Okay, my brother says.

Speaker 4 (01:05:52):
Six or seven?

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
Ask me? Ask me three more questions about your life.

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
I feel like you're cuising me on myself right now.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
No, I'm trying to quiz myself on you because.

Speaker 4 (01:06:06):
Because how many brothers do I have?

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Two? But you just said that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
But also sometimes you'll just say your name and I'll
forget that. So good?

Speaker 4 (01:06:16):
Can you tell me my name? Does that count?

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
Alexis? That doesn't count?

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
You have to all right?

Speaker 4 (01:06:23):
Oh? When did I say I broke up with my partner?

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
February?

Speaker 5 (01:06:34):
Nice?

Speaker 4 (01:06:35):
That's impressive. How many followers does my How many followers
does my little brother have on.

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
TikTok twenty one?

Speaker 4 (01:06:45):
That's awesome? Yeah, he does.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
See, it's just not my name, I already forgot. No,
it's Alexis.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
But it's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
Yeah, this is because I and I've gone on this
rant so many times. But like, uh, I remember certain things.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Sometimes I feel like my memory Sometimes I feel like
I'm I have dementia. Dude, I don't know. I can't
tell if I can't tell if doing this makes my
you know, how like people retire and then their dementia
gets worse. Like working like is good for your brain
in some way, you know what I mean. I can't
tell if doing this makes me dumber or smarter. I

(01:07:29):
think it's theoretically it should make my brain better.

Speaker 4 (01:07:36):
I think it does. I think it does. But there
definitely is a memory component. You talk to so many people,
that's a whole lot of information. M it's a combo.
But you said your journal and that's I think that's
good for your brain too.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Yeah, I have done that in a while. You know,
go long periods of time without journaling.

Speaker 4 (01:07:59):
Same, I'm I'm at five years of not journaling right now.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Yeah, probably how come you haven't how come you haven't
journaled in five years?

Speaker 5 (01:08:08):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:08:09):
God?

Speaker 4 (01:08:09):
That I definitely I think I may have wrote you
an email about that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, okay, remember you said
you burned.

Speaker 4 (01:08:15):
Your I did say that journals I wanted to, I
wanted to I have, I have a lot. I have
a lot of I have years worth probably maybe like
a good six year span worth of journals that sometimes
I'll read through them and be like, it's cool, I'm
not in that place anymore. And then I kind of
wanted to do that when I came home to read

(01:08:36):
them again because I felt like such shit, but I
kind of decided not to, and I still have them.
But I feel like if I write, I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
Talk shit the whole time, talk about your life.

Speaker 4 (01:08:51):
Yeah, I think so, I don't know, it might come
out kind of angry, but I guess that's the point.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
Yeah. Yeah, Sometimes I wonder if, like that's that's been
my whole thing with journaling, because sometimes I wonder like
if all of because I have so many journals that
are just like depressing journals, yea, and you look back
at them and you're like, I don't want I don't
want I don't want to keep a record of this.
I'd like to forget about this. Yeah, I have angry ones.

Speaker 4 (01:09:24):
Yeah, No, some definitely some questionable things in there.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Yeah. Man, I was reading a journal from like seven
years ago where I was I was saying some insane
things and.

Speaker 4 (01:09:38):
It's kind of fun though, like maybe now that I'm
in a better place, I can go back and read it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
M hmm. Yeah, I was saying some insane things and
I was like, uh, I think it's it's good that
I wrote that. Now it's now honestly like, yeah, now
that I'm now that, I'm noticing that my life is
a recurring series of me. I'm looking back at journals

(01:10:03):
from seven years ago and I'm like, oh, my life
is a recurring series of me. You know, there's been evolutions,
there's been yeah blohledy blah. But I'm reading some I'm
reading journals like seven, eight years ago whatever, and I'm like, Okay,

(01:10:24):
there's evolutions here, but there's little tiny core maybe angers
or sadnesses or even joys or annoyances or whatnot that
are still like the core of them still exists with
me eight years later. This feels fucking weird.

Speaker 4 (01:10:47):
M No, it's a weird feeling to be like, oh,
I'm still the same person that I was ten years ago,
but I'm not.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
I don't not this year. Right, You're not exactly the same,
but you're also kind of totally the same.

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
Yeah, I uh, I feel it. As much as I
hate to say this, I I feel like to wrap
it up a little bit. You sho, I do wanna.

Speaker 1 (01:11:13):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:11:14):
What you said made me think of something that, uh
from my previous like group therapy experience. There was a
girl who one time we had to draw something, right
that like reflected something.

Speaker 3 (01:11:26):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:11:26):
I'll try to remember it as best as I can,
but her drawing was just of a big spiral, right,
It was just a spiral. And she's like, basically, life
is like this, right. You're you start in the middle,
and every time you go around the circle, you might
end up back in the same place, but you're looking
at it from a different perspective, and you're still you

(01:11:47):
just kind of you know, going around and around. But
every every time you have more you know, you're looking
at it from a different place, so you have more
knowledge or this or that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
Oh my god, I hate that. I'm gonna think about
that every day for the rest of my life.

Speaker 4 (01:12:05):
You're not the only one that was probably like seven
or eight years ago, and I still think about it
all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
I'm definitely going to be thinking about that.

Speaker 4 (01:12:15):
It just helps me not feel as bad.

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
Yeah, okay, yeah, life is a spiral. You start from
the bit that makes that makes such perfect sense. But
it's good, you know, No, no, I no, no, I know,
I know. I know exactly what the visual metaphor. I
understand the visual metaphor perfectly, I think. But you're expanding

(01:12:42):
outwards and you're growing, so that's good. You're not you know,
you're not it's bad. Yeah, You're not in a circle.
You're in a spiral. A spiral has forward momentum outward exactly,
but you keep going in cycles to get to that

(01:13:04):
forward momentum. So it is it is an optimistic shape
to live life. Yeah, yes, all right, I'll let you
get back to your dad's birthday party. But thanks for
talking to me.

Speaker 4 (01:13:18):
No, I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
You want to say to the people at the computer
before we go.

Speaker 4 (01:13:25):
I think I said it. I think that was my thing.
Just just keep on going. You'll figure something else out soon.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
Alexis okay, I remember, Okay, I have a good night. Alexis,
thank you for calling.

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
Thank you, Lyle.

Speaker 4 (01:13:39):
You have a good night too bye.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
That was Alexis. Well hello, hello, Oh it's the gecko guy.

Speaker 5 (01:13:58):
Oh what's up?

Speaker 2 (01:13:59):
What's up with you?

Speaker 5 (01:14:00):
Man? I'm trying to catch these mice?

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
Man, Well, you're with me, you're trying to catch mice? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 (01:14:17):
For a couple of days.

Speaker 2 (01:14:19):
Uh. Can I have some context for this?

Speaker 5 (01:14:25):
Well, we my partner and I moved into a new spot,
new house like two months ago, and uh, yeah the
house was mice. They're running around. Uh. We set out traps.

(01:14:48):
They're not they're not they're not biting at the traps,
and uh we see them like two to three times
a day. It's almost like they're used to us. H.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
Well, I I have a question, why not just live
with the mice as if they are like your pets
or like, why do you need them gone?

Speaker 5 (01:15:11):
It's a good question. I feel like they're giving me
constant jump scares and that is uncomfortable as I'm just
trying to live my life.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
What do you look like when you're just trying to
live your life.

Speaker 5 (01:15:35):
Oh that's a good question.

Speaker 3 (01:15:38):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (01:15:40):
I cook a lot of food, Uh, which the mice
seems to like. Uh, I'd say that's like one of
my main hobbies. I go out and go on a run.

(01:16:01):
That's something I've picked up recently, kind of a a
new thing for me. Uh. And then at other times
I go to work. And I guess Thence probably liked
that the best because they get to they get to

(01:16:24):
run them out without any of destructions.

Speaker 2 (01:16:31):
Mm hmm. Okay, well, I mean, is having mice in
your life. It doesn't sound like mice would really interrupt
your life all that much. It sounds like they're just
kind of there.

Speaker 5 (01:16:44):
Yeah, I mean there, it's it's uncomfortable having them around. Sure,
we just had to we had to move all the
food that we had in our sort of like common
space pantry into uh yeah, into our spaces. They leave

(01:17:04):
the mouse poop everywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:17:07):
Okay, And like, why does I don't why does life
have to be so perfect?

Speaker 3 (01:17:13):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:17:14):
Why don't you just.

Speaker 5 (01:17:15):
Know it's real?

Speaker 2 (01:17:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:17:18):
And I and you know, I think I other places
in my life I feel like I'm more accepting of
that imperfection of life. Yeah, But I feel like my
uh my home space, that's like the the one thing

(01:17:40):
that I kind of want to be closer to perfect
if possible.

Speaker 3 (01:17:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
Yeah, I mean that's life, right, is we We would
like for there to not be mousepoop in our house,
you know, sometimes they're sometimes they're just as mouse poop, Yeah,
our house, so you can't get rid of it, and

(01:18:08):
sometimes it's sometimes life is about learning to deal with
the mouse poop in your house.

Speaker 5 (01:18:16):
Absolutely, no, I uh, I'm with you on that.

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (01:18:24):
Do you have any advice for having mice besides uh?
Besides uh, I don't know the wider general outlooks of
advice that you just gave me. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
No, if you're looking for like logistical advice on how
to get rid of mice from your house, I am
absolutely one of the worst people to ask about that.

Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
That's fair.

Speaker 5 (01:18:52):
That's fair.

Speaker 2 (01:18:54):
Is there anything else I want to say to the
people of the computer before we go.

Speaker 5 (01:18:57):
Oh, nah, I'm gonna I'm gonna leave this one open ended. Okay, Yeah,
thanks Lyle. I appreciate uh, appreciate you calling.

Speaker 2 (01:19:14):
For sure you have a good rest of the day.

Speaker 5 (01:19:16):
Thank you you too.

Speaker 3 (01:19:17):
Well.

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
I wouldn't want mice in my house either. I wouldn't.
But if I don't know, yeah, that's life. Sometimes sometimes
you get mice in your house and you can't get
rid of them, and you you can move, you can
call someone who knows how to get rid of mice.
That's what I would do if I were this guy.

(01:19:38):
I would not have called me for this at all.
But yeah, or you could just be like, all right,
that's what's happening to me. I guess you could take it.
Sometimes that's a good strategy. It's a good strategy only
if there's no other practical way to deal with the situation.

(01:20:00):
It's that Napoleon meme. Do you guys know what I'm
talking about. There's like a Napoleon meme that's like, there's
nothing we can do, there's nothing. Hold on, fuck sh
there's something we can do, Napoleon. Yeah. Yeah, I encourage

(01:20:23):
everyone to look this up. There's nothing we can do.
And I don't know what's the history of this. Okay.
The phrasing bodies hopelessness based on Napoleon's exile to the
island of Saint Helena, where he died. Yeah, sometimes you're
just exiled into having mice in your house and there's

(01:20:45):
something you can do. There's a Japanese expression for this Shogun,
I Shogun. I hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the
end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a
bonus episode this week. That's right then, entire extra hour

(01:21:07):
of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming
a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapy Gecko
dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes,
They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the
regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members
only streams, and they help support my ability to continue

(01:21:30):
doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's
members only bonus episode.

Speaker 7 (01:21:36):
I found this girl who lives in Pittsburgh, but we
go to the same college together in Houston, and they
had a lot of money, and I just went on
this vacation with them. I don't know how to feel,
man like. I've just seen some shit with money, like
they just throw it around, man like. I couldn't comprehend that,
and I guess I get jealous, which turns into anger.

(01:22:00):
But I want to stay with her because she has money.

Speaker 2 (01:22:02):
First of all, Yeah, you're really going to stay with
this girls just because she has money.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
I love her well, I didn't mean to say it
like that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:10):
I If you want to hear this full conversation, you
can sign up to become a premium member at Therapy
Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in
the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com.
All right, I have nothing else to say.

Speaker 8 (01:22:28):
Again, goes on the line, taking your phone calls every nine.
Deacon goes to his I. He's teaching you cloud in
the mean of your life. Money's not really an expert.