January 17, 2022 • 42 mins
This week’s theme: “Ambition.” A car dealer has trouble closing, a downtrodden fast-food worker gets some help from above, and a couple’s living situation depends on the whims of a hummingbird.
Special Guest Contributor Chelsea Pope is a writer, actress and a comedian. You may have seen her performing improv and sketch at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and the Pack Theater in LA. She is also a former member of The Groundlings Sunday Company.
More at: https://www.chelseathepope.com/
IG: @chelseathepope
Twitter: @chelseathepope
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Portions of This American Laugh with Aristotle Atari and Andy Harris.
The improvised documentary podcast are brought to you by listeners
like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, and the all powerful, all
knowing Random Sentence Generator, which inspires the stories you're about
to hear. Yes, whenever you hear this sound, the next
sentence you hear is a random sentence provided by our
(00:21):
revered omnipotent Random Sentence Generator or more This American Laugh.
Listened to more episodes of This American Laugh. I guess
and now your first random sentence. Her daily goal was
to improve on yesterday. You realized that yesterday was gone.
(00:44):
It was all about today and tomorrow, today and tomorrow.
He bill. First of all, good morning, good morning to you.
I think on time today. You know, well, you know,
I woke up at six and I wanted to say
good morning then, and I was like, no, I'm not.
So I went over my journal and I journal. Yeah.
I said all my intentions. I said, I said what
(01:05):
I was grateful for. It was a short list, but
I finished it and then I just wrote and I wrote,
and I just I just got all my little brain
gunks out. Good and you know it's only eleven thirty,
but good morning, Bill, Good morning to you. I'm ready
to have a good day. Did you get that straightened
out with the ticket you got in the middle of
(01:26):
the street. Okay, well, okay, so that that's a work
in progress. Okay, it's a lot of works in progress.
And that was actually that was you know, it's easily
a forty five minute portion of my journaling was just
talking about you know, what is a work in progress?
And like, aren't we all like works in progress? Bill?
By the way, do you like your eggs overheard or scrambled?
I gotta say yesterday with pretty runny, so so scrambled,
(01:49):
scrambled harder than yesterday. Okay, so you want to scrambles
a little bit hard. Thank you for being so patient
about breakfast by the way, now my pleasure. Thank you
for being here early. And I noticed that you're wearing
shoes today. Yeah, thank you. You know, being brefit's a
problem again, like it's a work in progress. Just sometimes,
you know, I've got my brain just scattered all over
(02:11):
the floor and I go out the door and I
don't even realize that I have my shoes off. Things hurt.
I'm having thoughts and I'm having feelings and then the
next thing I know, oh, my toast bleeding. You know. Oh,
speaking of which, I noticed the no toenails in the
oatmeal this morning. You know. You know it's so funny
how that happened. Because I was making oatmeal. I was like,
(02:34):
I'm gonna make this oatmeal. I'm gonna make the gunk
out of this oatmeal, which is you know it gets
it comes out pretty gunky, right, And I felt a
little like a little ting in my toesies. And that's
when I bent down the other day and I was like,
what is that. I'm going to fix that. You know,
I'm not gonna put it off. I'm gonna fix it
right now. And then I done. Yeah. Well, you know,
unfortunately it added a little toenail in the oatmeal, and
(02:57):
I just feel I'm a little embarrassed. But today it's
okay when you strained it out in Today's a new day.
Today day. So far, everything is fine. Can I get
a refill on the ice tea? Oh yeah, yeah, you
know what, Actually I'm a little low, but if if
you give you a couple of minutes, I can stir
some powder into some water. And we can have some
fresh ice tea ready to go. Well, I gotta tell
(03:19):
you I do have to get to work. God, yeah
it is five already. It's crazy as you've been waiting
for me lunchtime. It is. Yeah, yeah, I totally understand. Yeah, no,
go ahead first. No, one of my intentions is to
be a better listener. Okay, wait, no, go Ahey, you
(03:43):
know I gotta tell you really can wait? Hey, what
is it? Bill? Oh my god? Bill? One hour later? Okay?
If you followed him to his car, listen, wait, like
(04:04):
really like listen. I thought you we were going to
min car and hour to leave your car and that's
just crazy. It's like, I don't know, I forget what
I was even going to say in the no, but
like I want to know that. I want to be
rude to you, like I'm a listener. You got into
the passenger's heat of his car. Where we're going? I
want to go. I want to know what you're gonna say.
It's gonna botherly all day, and it's gonna bother you too.
(04:24):
I can tell the child boxer and I don't like it.
Are you calling me a child? Because I feel like
a child and she forced her way into his house.
You want tell them if I said high, but also
at the same time, I wanted to know that you
need nice tea well, but listen, no, but at the
(04:45):
same time, we have to we gotta finish things. You
love himself in the bathroom, she was on the other
side of the door happening on it. I'm not like,
I don't trying to like one one. It's not really okay,
and it's not about what it is about us. It's
about us. Listen, next morning, what were you even talking about?
(05:08):
Remember it crazy? So did your journal this morning? I'm
not gonna lie, not yet. I actually don't have my
journal at your house. Is so crazy, right, Oh my gosh.
I hope today is better than yesterday. Though. You know what,
it's so crazy. You know what's so funny. It's like,
you know, you set intentions and then other things happen.
(05:30):
Just life gets in the west, life totally gets in
the way insane. It's like I had this whole like
game plan for yesterday. I was gonna make the eggs
just right, I was going to pour the iced tea.
I was going to maybe go like bowling. I was
going to maybe go for like a walk at my
steps in and then can you sell it down place?
Because I'm just that I'm writing down the places that
you plan to go and just know no particular reason.
(05:51):
I just isn't that what I'm trying to avoid these places?
But that's the day because following me to these places,
I just I get it. You're you want to know
what the eye deal day, And I'm telling you what
the ideal day is. Thinking of this me journaling on
your behalf for you, and I never thought anything different. Yeah, Okay,
that's it. That's the intro. This is this American laugh
(06:21):
with their salatary and and yarest, I'm your host Ari
alongside producer Andy Especially Guys. Contributor for this week is
Chelsea Pope. As usual, this week, we will bring you
a totally improvised story in three acts. This week's theme
ambition It's what keeps you going if you have it,
let stay with us. Act one. When she was little,
(06:53):
she had a car door slam shut on her hand
and she still remembers it quite vividly. Hi there, um,
Hi sir. Yeah, So it's just been perusing your handle
lot and I was thinking, you know, maybe I you know,
I to I get behind the wheel. Okay, well, you
know what, you come to the right place because this
(07:14):
is the Hunded dealership. And if you're looking for a
Honda quality hond you've come to the right place. Now
let's want to say, you've got a really comforting voice.
Oh good, you know what. I would lie and say
the first person who said that to me, But I
get that all you do daily, all the time, hourly.
Oh my god, I was saying. It made me wonder
(07:36):
if they're, you know, over conversating for their true feelings.
They don't really find my voice to put that. I'm
a painfully earnest person. I want to say that. I
I really I appreciate it. You know there's something paternal
about much bliged you. Now let's get started. Here. Are
you looking for like a sedan? You're looking for some
compact for us? Be awesome, you know, I'll be honest.
(07:58):
You know the size is um really not important to me? Um?
Or just the texture of the door the door, does
that make sense? I want something stopped, let's say myself,
or if I ever get involved with someone the horizon
(08:19):
anyone shot shooting. But if we're having an altercation and
someone says I'm getting in my car, and then I
slammed the door, and I wanted to be just sort
of like a you know, like and what kind of
car do you have that does that? Well? A lot
(08:40):
to unpack here, Why don't you you know what, why
don't you go ahead and have your seat right here? Okay,
right here, next next to my desk here, yeah, just
just right next to the because you have chairs across
from the you know, whats gonna make you feel more comfortable. Really,
I'm really submissive. Do whatever you want a right one.
(09:02):
I'm just I'm sitting beside you, looking away from you
right now, okay, correct, alright, um, somebody who I want
to get that out of the way of my clients.
I don't want to get into all that because I
really want a car because like the Weenishistle I work
(09:24):
at is like really far away from my apartment, and
so I really want this car. And trauma, you know,
it's like is it a present tense thing or is
it like a thing that happens that you just kind
of like it? There? It is? There, it was Okay, Okay,
I'm kind of getting with you. Okay, let me right now,
(09:47):
not particularly. I'm just asking you, is this is merely
salesman purchasurchasing potential purchasing purchaser. I'm not the one being
purchased though, person, do you want to pray? So let
me ask you a question real quick. Okay, we have
(10:07):
four doors, we have two doors. I'm gonna go out
on a limb and say, you probably wanted two dogs,
just fewer doors. Really, that's I like your thinking. I
hadn't thought about the numbers, but realistically speaking, the fewer
doors that could slam the better. And now, are you
looking for something that has some zip to it? Or
you want something where you can drive a long distance
away from somebody who's waiting you with somebody. I'll be honest,
(10:33):
this is gonna sound like wrong, but it was. It
was my fault the slam. I was in an incident.
And you know, you know what, you know what? This
might be above my pay grade. I'm gonna get my
my leasing agent in here, who also moonlights social worker Gregory,
(10:55):
can you please come in here? Please? Nice? You're looking
for carded Hey, wow, you you can really soft spoken.
There's something very disarming about you that is entirely different.
I get that a lot to get that off, you know,
so wild all the time. That's so I hourly hourly
people tell me that sometimes to wonder if people are
(11:17):
overcompensating for their true feelings about my whispit things. No,
I'll tell you one percent. I'm very I'm I'm a
really bad liar. I've been told that many times in
my life. And I'll tell you right now, I mean it.
I mean it. You have a really soft, likable voice
about you. So I have a few questions about your car.
You wish I really want a car. I just want
(11:39):
to say, I really I have to get to the
winter snittle um walking us hard, and my legs really
hurt when I get to the winer cell and and
it makes my whole body really tired when I'm pouring
like the brisket on the dogs and stuff. So just
like before we go into the questions, I just wanted
really like preface that by saying that despite my complicated history,
I think a car would be good for me. And
(12:01):
if the doors are soft, all the better. Okay, you
know it's rude of me. I didn't introduce myself yet.
My name is My name is Timberly. We managed to
check down footage of Timberly working at the Uniel looking
at these six dog you Nike, Yeah, Boris, it's Mr
(12:21):
Boris to you. I'm sorry, Mr Boris. I don't know
your first name, so I just say Boris. Boris is
the very first name, last name. Do you call these? Sleep?
Proper amount of briskets to put on to dogs? Sorry?
On my little arms ces are tired, my legs, sees
are tired because I walked here. I walked three miles
(12:45):
and I'm tuckered. I'm real tuckered out, and I scooped
the best I could. And I'm sorry. I know the
lady was only half fool, Mr Boris, Um, but I
put it. I put it on some of the dogs
and then otherwise could just be But like talks, Mr
Boret listen, Timberly, Yeah, Mr Boreth, if you feel me
(13:06):
one more time, briskit on dog Wise there will be troubles.
I do not want troubles. I want pleasures. I don't
want troubles. I want good. I know that doesn't know
what I meant. That came out wrong. Mr Bars timber
you're trembling. You're trembling. I have fear. Yes, I understand,
but I can see how my demeanor would frighten dol.
(13:28):
But you have like a scary quality about I get
told voices, Yeah, a little bit daily. People tell me
that that hourly. Oh my gosh, I think that sometimes
they may be overcompensating and not telling me they're true feelings.
That they actually find my voice to be quite pleasant.
But they do say that it's very very anerving. You know. Well, um,
(13:51):
I'm a very earnest person and timberly is someone hurting you?
Oh no, you know what. We're going to get the
hush poppy cooking here the social worker. Oh no, girls
coming here. They look in literally, I just want to
see few question. I'm so so. First of all, you're
(14:14):
doing great job with a hush puppies with me, you know,
because we now just suddenly started serving because I was
really thrown. It was really thrown because they're not weaners,
hush puppies. Somebody had the meal just I walk really
for and my AirPods don't work, so I you know,
(14:37):
it's just just my thoughts and my memories, and there's
a lot of um, there's a lot of like bam bam, bam,
but not like guns, more like slamming, just that like
I don't know if is this being recorded? Oh no, listen,
I just want to say I walk really far because
(14:57):
I care about this job and I do don't want
to go to school and so I just I don't
want any problems. I want to just keep working with
my six shifts. Is that okay? Is it Gross or Mr? Grouse?
Because I thought Boris was Boris, but it's Mr Boris,
which is the first name, last name, but the last
name Mr Grouse was my father's name. You can call
(15:18):
me Grosse. Is it gross? My first name is also Grouse,
cross Grouse. Can I call you gi? No? I'm so sorry.
Guys returned to the car dealership. So I'm a piece
all this together, I as well. Um, maybe you just
have a skitnesh demeanor. I'm sorry for assuming that the
reason you behave like this is because someone's wing you. No. No, no, no, no,
(15:44):
that I didn't you know, I really I have no
there's no I I it was. The slamming just was
honestly the like the wind. I feel like the wind
and maybe God had something to do with it and
managed to get out hands on some archive footage of God.
I honestly don't know why. She's like someone hurting you,
timber God, God, Yes it's me. Hey God, the car
(16:08):
door you remember when that happened? That really hurt? Actually
an accident though, well no, But like does the wind
have anything to say for itself? Because I'm really kind
of still upset about it, and people think that like
I've been abused, but like the wind is what hurt me,
and it's like you made the wind, you know what,
we're going to get The wind in here also happens
(16:30):
to be a social worker. I'm the wind. I gotta say,
I'm real sorry. I just want to say, you're kind
of a fuck. Yeah, she's right, you kind of yeah,
you're You didn't warn me, and my hands and the
whole psychological well being are fucked because of you. Thank
(16:50):
you so much for saying what I did not have
the balls to say to the wind. I don't know,
Like maybe it's because you're a social worker. You think
you're like a you're a good entity or something, but
just like when you slam doors without warning, you traumatize people,
and it's like, are you just doing that to justify
your position? I don't know, but like that's fun that
she's right. Wind, Sorry, Wind, that is never easy. We're
(17:14):
gonna have to let you go actually before the wind
gets like, like, yo, can the wind like I don't know.
I don't want the wind to like lose its job
or whatever, but like I don't know if the wind
could just like apologize or whatever, Like can you just say,
like why you did what you did when you did it?
Will not only do I apologize, I'm gonna go ahead
and I'm gonna take out that winer Schnitzel, I move
(17:35):
it closer to your house so you don't have to
buy a car. Wait, you don't have to walk to
That's really not That saves me like tens of thousands
of dollars. Wind, Like, I'm untraumatized because you saved me
so much money. You know what, it's my pleasure, Wind Blue,
(17:57):
then to their house. Nobody's to buy a car. I'm
so sorry. Mr. Honda Dealer. Please. Mr Hounded Dealer was
my father's name. You can call me Honda Dealer, Hounded Dealer,
Haunted Dealer, dealer of the Honda Dealers, thank you very much.
Of house, Honda Dealer of House hunted dealer. Yeah, I
(18:19):
just I kind of like don't need you anymore. Actually, um,
you see, I had kind of a beef with the wind,
and I thought God, but actually God apparently had very
little to do with it wind. The wind was just
doing its own thing. And anyway, long story short, I've
had closure in my life and I don't need this
purchase anymore. I can just like step outside and I'm
(18:40):
literally in wiener schnitha foiled bottle wind. Coming up. Back
to the first word from my esteemed sponsors, stay with us,
(19:11):
back to the interview. Let's get to know I especially
guests contributed for this week. Chelsea Pope, Welcome to the show. Hi,
thank you, thank you for being here, Thanks for having me.
So how long have you been listening to the show?
At least a good forty five minutes or so. Um, No,
I I think you and are sat all very very
funny improvisers and and uh, you know the guests you
(19:33):
have on are are very gifted as well. And um,
I'm a fan. I feel I feel very excited to
be here. I feel very uh, I feel very unworthy,
but like in a good way. No, No, I don't know,
very worthy. I can tell by the look on your
face that you've been listening for years. You've probably been
listening for at least five years or so. How long
(19:56):
is how long has your show been on? Tell me
I can't even remem longer. So long decades, decades since
you were a baby, right, yes, So, so if you
had to choose an episode early on to be your
favorite episode, what what do you recall from that episode? Um,
you know what, Taking way back into the archives, I
(20:16):
gotta say it's the first thing that pops into first,
you know, the first thing that pops in my head.
I listened to the episode that you did with Christine Bowland,
who was that face? Earlier, earlier, earlier, five years okay,
five or ten years before that, there was this interview
that you guys did um with some guy. He was
(20:37):
this dude, he was like this guy you got. You
guys just kept talking about how he was bald, and
I remember thinking, like, he's more than his hair or
lock thereof you know remember that episode. Yeah, it was
a good episode. His name was like Jeff Jeff B.
Jeff B. You know what, You're not gonna believe this
(20:57):
what I have that episode? Don't with f No, you don't,
because I tried looking for it and it didn't go
that far bad. Let's hear a clip from that. So
I'm I'm more than just my hair or my lack
of hair. I am. I'm me the combination of several attributes,
not just my head. My wife agrees, Yeah, I don't.
(21:18):
You know. There's something about you know when you U,
I see my reflection and your scalp, and I just
think to myself, like, oh that's let's your reflection of
me and other than the hair, literally anything other than
the hair, any other you know, there's uh, your there's
something about the way you spend your parents money is
(21:41):
really thoughtful, and um, you know, I gotta be honest.
I think we need to start talking about a marriage
counselor a little bit. Is that I'm sorry to I
don't want to do my hair. No, I promise it's
not about the hair, honey, I promise you it is
not about that rephrase. Is it because of my lack
of hair? No? I want to say, you know, honey,
(22:03):
can you just can you swallow your gum or spit
it out before we continue talking. There's like just like
I think there's just a small issues like that, and
this sort of issueing of of the way we function
as a couple that is is um, I don't know,
a little hard for me to kind of live with.
Chewing keeps my mind off of my follical disposition, will be. Well,
(22:31):
I'm you know, I think it's perfectly natural. And I
don't you know a lot of other grown adult men
experience a disadvantage of follically speaking, and they don't have
to chew gum for that. That's not really that's kind
of just the thing that you invented, babe. And I
(22:54):
I gotta be honest. I feel like I'm walking on
you know, a bunch of shine uh spelty hat. Yeah, no,
you know what, that's not my fault or not. It's
not my fault that you look like an egg. Shall
I want to talk to my marriage counselor and I
want to tell her we need to cancel our sessions
(23:16):
the way I'm spending my parents money on hats. Thank
you very much. Can I just say something now, Yeah,
I don't like your cowboy hat. That was really something.
It was a memorable episode. Because it was a really
memorable episode. I really did for him. It was. Honestly,
I'm really surprised that more people don't talk about that.
We want awards for that one. Yeah, what do you
(23:39):
do for a living? Well, honestly, for a living to
pay my bills, I'm a waitress, but I do also improv, sketch,
stand up, I write, I make little online videos. If
they loop, that's cool, If not, whatevs. Uh And and
I tweet and I and I try not to go
on Twitter as much as I do, but you know,
we're all creatures of habit, so it's very tempting. It's unfortunately,
(24:02):
you know, it's it's just right there, you know, it's
like it's always open, always ready. Where did you study
improv and sketch? I was at a lot of places,
you know. I was at the Groundlings for quite a
period of time, and quite a long period of time.
I was also at the US tob Theater intermittently, the
Pack Theater as well. And I briefly worked and took
(24:23):
a class and did some stand up at the Flappers
and Burbank and you know, I just kind of like
I've been around. When did you say that this was
what you wanted to do for a living. It's an
excellent question. I want to say it was always something
that was a bit of a pipe dream for me.
I came to l A as a transfer student from Ranchekukamanga.
I was going to community college at Chiefee College, and
(24:45):
I was originally actually just going to probably just become
a teacher. I didn't have the strongest sense of direction
or ambition. I always enjoyed acting in comedy. I didn't
have a lot of um, I guess confidence or that
that are sort of lit under my ass to go
for it. And then I came to I transferred to
u C l A and I was on campus. I
(25:08):
felt a little bit. I don't know, maybe I was romanticizing,
feeling out of place or something, but there was a
part of me that was just like, I'm out here,
I want to just see what the scenes like. And
I knew that I was in close approximation to the Groundlings.
So that's when I just decided I'm gonna sign up
for my first Groundlings class. And I did. And I
want to say sometime around the point where I graduated
(25:30):
us l A, somewhere between that and maybe a year
or so later, was when I thought, what if I
don't know, got some head shots and started applying myself
a little bit more like like like why not you
know I was seeing I at that point had seen
you know, other folks in classes i'd taken or peripherally
in that sort of scene that were you know, they
(25:52):
were working, they were auditioning, they were they were doing
the grind. And I had been so reluctant and afraid
of that or thinking, I guess that I wasn't skilled
enough or worthy enough to do that. And I don't know,
there was something that switched for me, maybe around like
fifteen or sixteen, where I decided like why not me?
Why don't I? Why don't I try to navigate that
(26:13):
or figure that out? And there's a lot of trial
and error, and I honestly want to say it wasn't
until around the pandemic that I started to sort of
figure out a little more of a comedic voice that
I had to have a bit more of, like I guess,
not a mission statement around what I do per se.
It's like it's not that serious, but it's it's having
an idea of like what I enjoy doing or what
(26:36):
about comedy attracts me to it and why I want
to perform it, and so I've been just trying to
swim my way through that and also paying my bills.
You know, it's interesting. You will not believe this. Why
I don't believe you already. We actually have in our
archives footage from the alternate universe in which you were
a teacher instead of doing what you do now. That
(26:59):
must be crazy. We actually, you guys have some some
some superior technology around here. That's insane. We have footage
of you with your what do you what do you
call that employee review with the principal. Oh my goodness,
so let me let me go ahead, and I'm excited
to just do this pulp. Sorry, yeah, yeah, mr Mr Kendall,
(27:27):
thank you. A couple of questions. It's a day to
day what you're teaching these children, these fourth graders right there,
you know, they're nine. Yeah, sorry, I just felt like
I needed to remind myself that summer time sure depends
on their birthdays. Summertime, sum are eight. Some are really
(27:49):
really smart, smart kids. Yeah, hodgepodge of children ages age wise,
smattering if you supposed to teach them, you know, mass
sting of algebra kind of kind of getting into that. Yeah,
you want to tell me why you're spending the first
thirty minutes teaching them zips happens up. First of all,
what is that? Okay? Well, first off, when I came
(28:13):
to the school Central Elementary, it happened to be convenient
to the location where in which I wanted to live.
And so you know, I remember reaching out to the
dean of the district superintendent, the superintendent, right, yes, m
that's how the hierarchy works naturally. I know these things.
I know, and you know what, I apologize for correcting you.
(28:36):
That's like, no, no, don't don't apologize. I deserve it.
Nobody deserves that. Really, nobody deserves that. You're a guest
here in my office, correct you. You listen. All of
this is to say that zips ups up is about
reacting in the moment and being agreeable. And I want
my students to be agreeable and adaptable and to think
(29:00):
quickly and and and also my time with the students
is on an average about thirty to forty five minutes.
And I am not a math person. I actually I
studied English literature at U C. L A. I'm not
saying that's a brag. That's just what I did, um,
so thank you, you know I did. Actually I put
(29:23):
it at the top, in the middle of the bottom.
It's exactly well. The thing is, you know, I just
I was really trying to avoid being placed in a
position where I was going to have to use the
left side of my brain because that's all rotted from cigarettes, alcohol,
poor choices. You know, there's a lot of regrettable things.
And so when these these nine eight, nine to ten
(29:44):
year old children, you know, they come into my classroom
expecting me to teach them timestables, division, what have you,
I am just at see it is overwhelming, and uh,
you know, so we do the sip steps up partly
just to bring me into the present. Well, I'm not
(30:04):
I'm not trying to be that the typical millennial here,
Proposter Candle, I know you're gen X, but listen, I
didn't expect to become a poetry teacher at the elementary
level or whatever. You know, but I uh, I am
struggling with numbers I always have. That's gonna, I gotta
tell you, that's gonna. It's gonna come back and bite
you poventually unless something miraculous happens where this district completely
(30:28):
changes the curriculum. You gotta no numbers, I'm sure, no, no, no, no,
I have them. They're all I write them down, you know.
I write them down with a sharpie on my arm
every day. Uh, I have them here right now. See
one to those are numbers. Smudge, smudge, five, six, seven
to work on that smudge sideways in sideways. Um, it
(30:52):
looks like a double. It looks like a three kissing
another three is what that is actually, and then it's
like a part in a mirror, like a hardened Yeah,
that's kind of cute cut cute. Um no, but I
know that it's an eight. And um yeah, I think right,
(31:12):
I know, I know what maybe you should Hey listen, hey,
Mr Kendall, Zip zap. A few months later we can
be in for a second semester employee review. All right, problem, Yes,
Mr Kendall, you are Congratulations to you. You're out of
the box, thinking God, the district could completely change their
(31:34):
curriculum and they're moving more towards the improv way of teaching.
Center those antiquated numbers and however, your class numbers, um yeah,
let's look here at the sounded movement opening performance of
(31:56):
them are starting off just acting like the cold ditches.
That's a very bush league way to begin to found
a movement. Opening. Listen, you know what, I can always
just be cold. That's just how we're gonna start. We're
all cold. Okay, Well, like I have, I have to
be straight up. Okay, Listen. I had an improv teacher
when I was at the ground Links Theater. Dropped something definite.
(32:18):
You dropped a name there, I dropped, I dropped a name.
I dropped a groundling here like a real groundling as
a whole. Listen. When I studied intermediate improv, he said,
he genuinely said that we can't do improv in a
(32:38):
hot room. Okay, And it's true. It's true because when
you're hot, you get slow. And it's listen, it's not
an excuse, it's real. And we could not touch the
A C in the ground Links classroom digging. Then explain
what they'll start with digging, with digging miraculously, there are
(33:00):
you one mind. Everyone knows how to dig. Everyone knows
how to dig. We don't all know how to make
a sandwich or cut a cucumber, but we all know
how to dig. Okay, everyone sat in a pile of sand,
Mr Kendall, have you not sat in a pile of
sand in the cold players? Mr Kendall was my father's name,
Kendall Kendall. My name is Carl Kendall. Carl Kendall. Oh
(33:20):
my god. Wow, that was really something. It could have
been so different. Yeah, it could have been so different.
I'm not gonna lie. I kind of I'm kind of
glad I'm not living in that all time universe with
Carl Kendall sucked. What are you working on now? Anything
we should be looking for? Yeah, I mean you know
you can. You can check me out on on the socials.
I'm always making new videos, new content. I'll be uh
(33:43):
working on longer form content as as as things move forward.
I guess the short answer is, actually, no, that sounds terrible.
That sounded terrible. That's not that's not technically what I meant.
But just still writing. I'm still figuring things out. I
guess it's it's it's I'm in a little bit of
(34:04):
a creative fox right now. With Yeah, Chelsea Pope, thanks
so much for joining us, and thank you so much
for for having me coming up. Act three. The first
the word from our sponsors who make this high quality
program possible. Stay with US Act three. The hummingbird swings
(34:40):
blurred while it equally sipped the sugar water from the feeder. Laura,
you've got to get a job. I'm dying here drowning. Hey, Thomas,
why are you get yours? You get always get on
the back about getting a job. Blah blah blah blah blah.
It's like, what's your pousemus Second, look at the humming birds?
Like what the ming birds? With the hummingbirds? Again? Look
(35:02):
in you're not like, Oh, you're so lazy blah blah
blastic Thomas. Look at the hummingbirds. Yes, the hummingbirds are gorgeous,
But do you also see this slip that was left
on the door by the landlord. We're gonna get kicked
out if you don't get a job. There's gonna be
nowhere for the hummingbirds to flutter around it. What what
(35:23):
what is that? Laura? What what are you doing? This
is the first time I've stop the well, look at
the hummingbirds you're looking at good for you? Beautiful? Look
at that? Look at that? Look at the wing? Look
at that's all blurry in it. It's blurry wing. No no, no, no, listen, no,
(35:44):
we gotta we gotta get it together. It we gotta
get gotta get out there it man, haven't has passed?
What has passed? We've got look at he's look at you.
You stripe on his it's got a little stripe. So happy.
I'm just sugar. You know, we saw the hunky he's
(36:09):
on this side of it. It's on the other side
of it. And don't should bring in a bathe well,
not a little baby. Did you go on to the
to the mansa dot com? Did you try to find
any so you go on glass door? You're not you?
You didn't you link? No, listen, I went, I looked
(36:32):
and there's no shut up. Okay, oh look it's a
little feet a room. I just want to make a
more sugar. We gotta make a more sugar. Water. We
have sugar, get some sugar. But we we could go
down the streets like the Starbucks or something of money
and get the money for we just steal some of
(36:53):
the sugars from the caddy. He should you're steal some
sugars from the caddy and we put him with some water.
We put him on the fasten. Laura, listen, you're gonna
kick us out. And my brother is not going to
help us move again. He's already helped us move a
couple of times. His back is big. We're not gonna
shut up. Shut up, shut up, look at it, Look
(37:16):
at it ready. You know what I want to be doing.
You know I want to get or put some sugar
water in my hand and have it coming. Didn't they
be when I got some honey? I think maybe you
don't got honey honey stick on me just to put
in your hand right now, use all of it those
because I'm stop a little bit, no st and you
cannot the other half because we don't eat. Don't eat
because because you got no job. Okay, well maybe you
(37:38):
could get a job. But here, why don't we feed
the hummingbirds? I'll put it in my study. You think
he's gonna come over, honkysar, don't you. I'll pull yourself together.
(37:58):
If we don't get to act together a way, they're
gonna kick us out. My brother is gonna head bla blah,
gonna be out on a fragging street. I'm gonna get god,
I'm gonna have my insurance ran out. I'm not gonna
see you that therapace. Okay it look look, look quiet,
(38:21):
stop everybody this everyone freeze. It's a beautiful there's more.
It's this tours a green one and a red one.
I didn't know they came in red. They look at
dance of honey bird love so pretty. Put your hand out, Thomas,
put your hand down with the honey. Oh God, crying Christ,
(38:47):
what a ship all we leave in? I know they did.
I didn't know that they bid. Okay, I did not
do that. Okay, I gave you the honey list this, Thomas.
What We've had a wonderful five years together. Okay, I
don't think, okay that we've been on the brink of
(39:09):
bankruptcy every waking second. But I can't support this whole
family on this last food by families two people, I know,
but that's a lot of people. That's more than one person.
That's maybe, I don't know what, maybe his families three people.
I can't stay mad at the bird, fly straight with
the bird? Yeah, okay, well you know what? Are you
(39:31):
mad at the bird? Are you mad at me? What? Really?
What about it? Boat? Okay? Well you know what I say.
Why don't we just wait to see till the Landlord
actually comes in here and does something about it, because
the way I see it, you're coming at me complained,
Oh we're gonna get kicked out. Blah blah blah blah blah.
Ain't nobody coming in here? Okay, we'll just enjoying ourselves
(39:53):
with the hunting birds and then and then nobody nobody
be coming and kicking us out. A lug. Landlord finally
came by both of you. What is this? You're still here?
I gave you three days, not a still vacate. Why
are you still here? You'll see anything in boxes? Okay,
how hold on? When't you Why did you shut up
(40:15):
for a second? I want you to look out the
wind till Mr Landlord, I am skip the goal? Is
the weather or not that I should look out the window?
I think first I should continue tearing you both in.
No one but no. Look at the little birdie, humble right,
Look at that little birdie you in the honey? Yeah,
look a little half of half a stick. Honey, I'm
(40:37):
gonna put it on your hand. Okay. If I'm not resting,
I'm giving Come on, get yourself. Why do you get
a job? Go to school? Give me your honey, right now.
I'm no, no, no, I'm squeezing. I'm squeezing on your
hand right now. Okay, here we go, we go down
and down. Come in, little buddy, come buddy. Do we
do it? Birdie? So help you? If this birdie doesn't,
(41:01):
oh no, better falls out of here either, you'll pay
me the rent. This bird eats out of my hand?
What do you get the funk out? Okay? So like this, okay,
so like if the birdie's out of your hand, we're fine. Okay,
So hey, little birdie, come in here, you sleep skid dish,
she's not coming. You know. It's tough because it's like
(41:21):
they don't usually respond to English language. But I'm trying.
You know, a little barn getting here, don't fly away,
a little bark getting in here. I got an idea.
You know how the wind owes me a favorite? Oh why?
I think I might pray to God and the wind
to see if the wind will blow the body house.
(41:42):
I think that's a great idea. I've had a sun
but dear Lord, blow Lord Lord, Yeah, it's the wind.
Can I speak to the wind? Speaking wind? Would you
mind terribly? This is I've got my hand hold on
(42:06):
humming coming right until they oh, what did this dee?
You'll know what what your kids stay? I was wonderful.
We appreciate that. Foiled again by the wind for the
producer Andy and especial guest contributor to Chelsea Pope. I'm
your sorry. And this was This American Laugh with Ari
(42:29):
Stalatari and Andy Harris. Join us next time. This American
Laugh with Aristotle, Attari and Andy Harris can be found
wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate
and review. You can also find us on Instagram at
This American Laugh and on Twitter at American Laugh with
three h. That's American Laugh with three h is
Portions of This American Laugh with Aristotle Atari and Andy Harris.
The improvised documentary podcast are brought to you by listeners
like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, and the all powerful, all
knowing Random Sentence Generator, which inspires the stories you're about
to hear. Yes, whenever you hear this sound, the next
sentence you hear is a random sentence provided by our
(00:21):
revered omnipotent Random Sentence Generator or more This American Laugh.
Listened to more episodes of This American Laugh. I guess
and now your first random sentence. Her daily goal was
to improve on yesterday. You realized that yesterday was gone.
(00:44):
It was all about today and tomorrow, today and tomorrow.
He bill. First of all, good morning, good morning to you.
I think on time today. You know, well, you know,
I woke up at six and I wanted to say
good morning then, and I was like, no, I'm not.
So I went over my journal and I journal. Yeah.
I said all my intentions. I said, I said what
(01:05):
I was grateful for. It was a short list, but
I finished it and then I just wrote and I wrote,
and I just I just got all my little brain
gunks out. Good and you know it's only eleven thirty,
but good morning, Bill, Good morning to you. I'm ready
to have a good day. Did you get that straightened
out with the ticket you got in the middle of
(01:26):
the street. Okay, well, okay, so that that's a work
in progress. Okay, it's a lot of works in progress.
And that was actually that was you know, it's easily
a forty five minute portion of my journaling was just
talking about you know, what is a work in progress?
And like, aren't we all like works in progress? Bill?
By the way, do you like your eggs overheard or scrambled?
I gotta say yesterday with pretty runny, so so scrambled,
(01:49):
scrambled harder than yesterday. Okay, so you want to scrambles
a little bit hard. Thank you for being so patient
about breakfast by the way, now my pleasure. Thank you
for being here early. And I noticed that you're wearing
shoes today. Yeah, thank you. You know, being brefit's a
problem again, like it's a work in progress. Just sometimes,
you know, I've got my brain just scattered all over
(02:11):
the floor and I go out the door and I
don't even realize that I have my shoes off. Things hurt.
I'm having thoughts and I'm having feelings and then the
next thing I know, oh, my toast bleeding. You know. Oh,
speaking of which, I noticed the no toenails in the
oatmeal this morning. You know. You know it's so funny
how that happened. Because I was making oatmeal. I was like,
(02:34):
I'm gonna make this oatmeal. I'm gonna make the gunk
out of this oatmeal, which is you know it gets
it comes out pretty gunky, right, And I felt a
little like a little ting in my toesies. And that's
when I bent down the other day and I was like,
what is that. I'm going to fix that. You know,
I'm not gonna put it off. I'm gonna fix it
right now. And then I done. Yeah. Well, you know,
unfortunately it added a little toenail in the oatmeal, and
(02:57):
I just feel I'm a little embarrassed. But today it's
okay when you strained it out in Today's a new day.
Today day. So far, everything is fine. Can I get
a refill on the ice tea? Oh yeah, yeah, you
know what, Actually I'm a little low, but if if
you give you a couple of minutes, I can stir
some powder into some water. And we can have some
fresh ice tea ready to go. Well, I gotta tell
(03:19):
you I do have to get to work. God, yeah
it is five already. It's crazy as you've been waiting
for me lunchtime. It is. Yeah, yeah, I totally understand. Yeah, no,
go ahead first. No, one of my intentions is to
be a better listener. Okay, wait, no, go Ahey, you
(03:43):
know I gotta tell you really can wait? Hey, what
is it? Bill? Oh my god? Bill? One hour later? Okay?
If you followed him to his car, listen, wait, like
(04:04):
really like listen. I thought you we were going to
min car and hour to leave your car and that's
just crazy. It's like, I don't know, I forget what
I was even going to say in the no, but
like I want to know that. I want to be
rude to you, like I'm a listener. You got into
the passenger's heat of his car. Where we're going? I
want to go. I want to know what you're gonna say.
It's gonna botherly all day, and it's gonna bother you too.
(04:24):
I can tell the child boxer and I don't like it.
Are you calling me a child? Because I feel like
a child and she forced her way into his house.
You want tell them if I said high, but also
at the same time, I wanted to know that you
need nice tea well, but listen, no, but at the
(04:45):
same time, we have to we gotta finish things. You
love himself in the bathroom, she was on the other
side of the door happening on it. I'm not like,
I don't trying to like one one. It's not really okay,
and it's not about what it is about us. It's
about us. Listen, next morning, what were you even talking about?
(05:08):
Remember it crazy? So did your journal this morning? I'm
not gonna lie, not yet. I actually don't have my
journal at your house. Is so crazy, right, Oh my gosh.
I hope today is better than yesterday. Though. You know what,
it's so crazy. You know what's so funny. It's like,
you know, you set intentions and then other things happen.
(05:30):
Just life gets in the west, life totally gets in
the way insane. It's like I had this whole like
game plan for yesterday. I was gonna make the eggs
just right, I was going to pour the iced tea.
I was going to maybe go like bowling. I was
going to maybe go for like a walk at my
steps in and then can you sell it down place?
Because I'm just that I'm writing down the places that
you plan to go and just know no particular reason.
(05:51):
I just isn't that what I'm trying to avoid these places?
But that's the day because following me to these places,
I just I get it. You're you want to know
what the eye deal day, And I'm telling you what
the ideal day is. Thinking of this me journaling on
your behalf for you, and I never thought anything different. Yeah, Okay,
that's it. That's the intro. This is this American laugh
(06:21):
with their salatary and and yarest, I'm your host Ari
alongside producer Andy Especially Guys. Contributor for this week is
Chelsea Pope. As usual, this week, we will bring you
a totally improvised story in three acts. This week's theme
ambition It's what keeps you going if you have it,
let stay with us. Act one. When she was little,
(06:53):
she had a car door slam shut on her hand
and she still remembers it quite vividly. Hi there, um,
Hi sir. Yeah, So it's just been perusing your handle
lot and I was thinking, you know, maybe I you know,
I to I get behind the wheel. Okay, well, you
know what, you come to the right place because this
(07:14):
is the Hunded dealership. And if you're looking for a
Honda quality hond you've come to the right place. Now
let's want to say, you've got a really comforting voice.
Oh good, you know what. I would lie and say
the first person who said that to me, But I
get that all you do daily, all the time, hourly.
Oh my god, I was saying. It made me wonder
(07:36):
if they're, you know, over conversating for their true feelings.
They don't really find my voice to put that. I'm
a painfully earnest person. I want to say that. I
I really I appreciate it. You know there's something paternal
about much bliged you. Now let's get started. Here. Are
you looking for like a sedan? You're looking for some
compact for us? Be awesome, you know, I'll be honest.
(07:58):
You know the size is um really not important to me? Um?
Or just the texture of the door the door, does
that make sense? I want something stopped, let's say myself,
or if I ever get involved with someone the horizon
(08:19):
anyone shot shooting. But if we're having an altercation and
someone says I'm getting in my car, and then I
slammed the door, and I wanted to be just sort
of like a you know, like and what kind of
car do you have that does that? Well? A lot
(08:40):
to unpack here, Why don't you you know what, why
don't you go ahead and have your seat right here? Okay,
right here, next next to my desk here, yeah, just
just right next to the because you have chairs across
from the you know, whats gonna make you feel more comfortable. Really,
I'm really submissive. Do whatever you want a right one.
(09:02):
I'm just I'm sitting beside you, looking away from you
right now, okay, correct, alright, um, somebody who I want
to get that out of the way of my clients.
I don't want to get into all that because I
really want a car because like the Weenishistle I work
(09:24):
at is like really far away from my apartment, and
so I really want this car. And trauma, you know,
it's like is it a present tense thing or is
it like a thing that happens that you just kind
of like it? There? It is? There, it was Okay, Okay,
I'm kind of getting with you. Okay, let me right now,
(09:47):
not particularly. I'm just asking you, is this is merely
salesman purchasurchasing potential purchasing purchaser. I'm not the one being
purchased though, person, do you want to pray? So let
me ask you a question real quick. Okay, we have
(10:07):
four doors, we have two doors. I'm gonna go out
on a limb and say, you probably wanted two dogs,
just fewer doors. Really, that's I like your thinking. I
hadn't thought about the numbers, but realistically speaking, the fewer
doors that could slam the better. And now, are you
looking for something that has some zip to it? Or
you want something where you can drive a long distance
away from somebody who's waiting you with somebody. I'll be honest,
(10:33):
this is gonna sound like wrong, but it was. It
was my fault the slam. I was in an incident.
And you know, you know what, you know what? This
might be above my pay grade. I'm gonna get my
my leasing agent in here, who also moonlights social worker Gregory,
(10:55):
can you please come in here? Please? Nice? You're looking
for carded Hey, wow, you you can really soft spoken.
There's something very disarming about you that is entirely different.
I get that a lot to get that off, you know,
so wild all the time. That's so I hourly hourly
people tell me that sometimes to wonder if people are
(11:17):
overcompensating for their true feelings about my whispit things. No,
I'll tell you one percent. I'm very I'm I'm a
really bad liar. I've been told that many times in
my life. And I'll tell you right now, I mean it.
I mean it. You have a really soft, likable voice
about you. So I have a few questions about your car.
You wish I really want a car. I just want
(11:39):
to say, I really I have to get to the
winter snittle um walking us hard, and my legs really
hurt when I get to the winer cell and and
it makes my whole body really tired when I'm pouring
like the brisket on the dogs and stuff. So just
like before we go into the questions, I just wanted
really like preface that by saying that despite my complicated history,
I think a car would be good for me. And
(12:01):
if the doors are soft, all the better. Okay, you
know it's rude of me. I didn't introduce myself yet.
My name is My name is Timberly. We managed to
check down footage of Timberly working at the Uniel looking
at these six dog you Nike, Yeah, Boris, it's Mr
(12:21):
Boris to you. I'm sorry, Mr Boris. I don't know
your first name, so I just say Boris. Boris is
the very first name, last name. Do you call these? Sleep?
Proper amount of briskets to put on to dogs? Sorry?
On my little arms ces are tired, my legs, sees
are tired because I walked here. I walked three miles
(12:45):
and I'm tuckered. I'm real tuckered out, and I scooped
the best I could. And I'm sorry. I know the
lady was only half fool, Mr Boris, Um, but I
put it. I put it on some of the dogs
and then otherwise could just be But like talks, Mr
Boret listen, Timberly, Yeah, Mr Boreth, if you feel me
(13:06):
one more time, briskit on dog Wise there will be troubles.
I do not want troubles. I want pleasures. I don't
want troubles. I want good. I know that doesn't know
what I meant. That came out wrong. Mr Bars timber
you're trembling. You're trembling. I have fear. Yes, I understand,
but I can see how my demeanor would frighten dol.
(13:28):
But you have like a scary quality about I get
told voices, Yeah, a little bit daily. People tell me
that that hourly. Oh my gosh, I think that sometimes
they may be overcompensating and not telling me they're true feelings.
That they actually find my voice to be quite pleasant.
But they do say that it's very very anerving. You know. Well, um,
(13:51):
I'm a very earnest person and timberly is someone hurting you?
Oh no, you know what. We're going to get the
hush poppy cooking here the social worker. Oh no, girls
coming here. They look in literally, I just want to
see few question. I'm so so. First of all, you're
(14:14):
doing great job with a hush puppies with me, you know,
because we now just suddenly started serving because I was
really thrown. It was really thrown because they're not weaners,
hush puppies. Somebody had the meal just I walk really
for and my AirPods don't work, so I you know,
(14:37):
it's just just my thoughts and my memories, and there's
a lot of um, there's a lot of like bam bam, bam,
but not like guns, more like slamming, just that like
I don't know if is this being recorded? Oh no, listen,
I just want to say I walk really far because
(14:57):
I care about this job and I do don't want
to go to school and so I just I don't
want any problems. I want to just keep working with
my six shifts. Is that okay? Is it Gross or Mr? Grouse?
Because I thought Boris was Boris, but it's Mr Boris,
which is the first name, last name, but the last
name Mr Grouse was my father's name. You can call
(15:18):
me Grosse. Is it gross? My first name is also Grouse,
cross Grouse. Can I call you gi? No? I'm so sorry.
Guys returned to the car dealership. So I'm a piece
all this together, I as well. Um, maybe you just
have a skitnesh demeanor. I'm sorry for assuming that the
reason you behave like this is because someone's wing you. No. No, no, no, no,
(15:44):
that I didn't you know, I really I have no
there's no I I it was. The slamming just was
honestly the like the wind. I feel like the wind
and maybe God had something to do with it and
managed to get out hands on some archive footage of God.
I honestly don't know why. She's like someone hurting you,
timber God, God, Yes it's me. Hey God, the car
(16:08):
door you remember when that happened? That really hurt? Actually
an accident though, well no, But like does the wind
have anything to say for itself? Because I'm really kind
of still upset about it, and people think that like
I've been abused, but like the wind is what hurt me,
and it's like you made the wind, you know what,
we're going to get The wind in here also happens
(16:30):
to be a social worker. I'm the wind. I gotta say,
I'm real sorry. I just want to say, you're kind
of a fuck. Yeah, she's right, you kind of yeah,
you're You didn't warn me, and my hands and the
whole psychological well being are fucked because of you. Thank
(16:50):
you so much for saying what I did not have
the balls to say to the wind. I don't know,
Like maybe it's because you're a social worker. You think
you're like a you're a good entity or something, but
just like when you slam doors without warning, you traumatize people,
and it's like, are you just doing that to justify
your position? I don't know, but like that's fun that
she's right. Wind, Sorry, Wind, that is never easy. We're
(17:14):
gonna have to let you go actually before the wind
gets like, like, yo, can the wind like I don't know.
I don't want the wind to like lose its job
or whatever, but like I don't know if the wind
could just like apologize or whatever, Like can you just say,
like why you did what you did when you did it?
Will not only do I apologize, I'm gonna go ahead
and I'm gonna take out that winer Schnitzel, I move
(17:35):
it closer to your house so you don't have to
buy a car. Wait, you don't have to walk to
That's really not That saves me like tens of thousands
of dollars. Wind, Like, I'm untraumatized because you saved me
so much money. You know what, it's my pleasure, Wind Blue,
(17:57):
then to their house. Nobody's to buy a car. I'm
so sorry. Mr. Honda Dealer. Please. Mr Hounded Dealer was
my father's name. You can call me Honda Dealer, Hounded Dealer,
Haunted Dealer, dealer of the Honda Dealers, thank you very much.
Of house, Honda Dealer of House hunted dealer. Yeah, I
(18:19):
just I kind of like don't need you anymore. Actually, um,
you see, I had kind of a beef with the wind,
and I thought God, but actually God apparently had very
little to do with it wind. The wind was just
doing its own thing. And anyway, long story short, I've
had closure in my life and I don't need this
purchase anymore. I can just like step outside and I'm
(18:40):
literally in wiener schnitha foiled bottle wind. Coming up. Back
to the first word from my esteemed sponsors, stay with us,
(19:11):
back to the interview. Let's get to know I especially
guests contributed for this week. Chelsea Pope, Welcome to the show. Hi,
thank you, thank you for being here, Thanks for having me.
So how long have you been listening to the show?
At least a good forty five minutes or so. Um, No,
I I think you and are sat all very very
funny improvisers and and uh, you know the guests you
(19:33):
have on are are very gifted as well. And um,
I'm a fan. I feel I feel very excited to
be here. I feel very uh, I feel very unworthy,
but like in a good way. No, No, I don't know,
very worthy. I can tell by the look on your
face that you've been listening for years. You've probably been
listening for at least five years or so. How long
(19:56):
is how long has your show been on? Tell me
I can't even remem longer. So long decades, decades since
you were a baby, right, yes, So, so if you
had to choose an episode early on to be your
favorite episode, what what do you recall from that episode? Um,
you know what, Taking way back into the archives, I
(20:16):
gotta say it's the first thing that pops into first,
you know, the first thing that pops in my head.
I listened to the episode that you did with Christine Bowland,
who was that face? Earlier, earlier, earlier, five years okay,
five or ten years before that, there was this interview
that you guys did um with some guy. He was
(20:37):
this dude, he was like this guy you got. You
guys just kept talking about how he was bald, and
I remember thinking, like, he's more than his hair or
lock thereof you know remember that episode. Yeah, it was
a good episode. His name was like Jeff Jeff B.
Jeff B. You know what, You're not gonna believe this
(20:57):
what I have that episode? Don't with f No, you don't,
because I tried looking for it and it didn't go
that far bad. Let's hear a clip from that. So
I'm I'm more than just my hair or my lack
of hair. I am. I'm me the combination of several attributes,
not just my head. My wife agrees, Yeah, I don't.
(21:18):
You know. There's something about you know when you U,
I see my reflection and your scalp, and I just
think to myself, like, oh that's let's your reflection of
me and other than the hair, literally anything other than
the hair, any other you know, there's uh, your there's
something about the way you spend your parents money is
(21:41):
really thoughtful, and um, you know, I gotta be honest.
I think we need to start talking about a marriage
counselor a little bit. Is that I'm sorry to I
don't want to do my hair. No, I promise it's
not about the hair, honey, I promise you it is
not about that rephrase. Is it because of my lack
of hair? No? I want to say, you know, honey,
(22:03):
can you just can you swallow your gum or spit
it out before we continue talking. There's like just like
I think there's just a small issues like that, and
this sort of issueing of of the way we function
as a couple that is is um, I don't know,
a little hard for me to kind of live with.
Chewing keeps my mind off of my follical disposition, will be. Well,
(22:31):
I'm you know, I think it's perfectly natural. And I
don't you know a lot of other grown adult men
experience a disadvantage of follically speaking, and they don't have
to chew gum for that. That's not really that's kind
of just the thing that you invented, babe. And I
(22:54):
I gotta be honest. I feel like I'm walking on
you know, a bunch of shine uh spelty hat. Yeah, no,
you know what, that's not my fault or not. It's
not my fault that you look like an egg. Shall
I want to talk to my marriage counselor and I
want to tell her we need to cancel our sessions
(23:16):
the way I'm spending my parents money on hats. Thank
you very much. Can I just say something now, Yeah,
I don't like your cowboy hat. That was really something.
It was a memorable episode. Because it was a really
memorable episode. I really did for him. It was. Honestly,
I'm really surprised that more people don't talk about that.
We want awards for that one. Yeah, what do you
(23:39):
do for a living? Well, honestly, for a living to
pay my bills, I'm a waitress, but I do also improv, sketch,
stand up, I write, I make little online videos. If
they loop, that's cool, If not, whatevs. Uh And and
I tweet and I and I try not to go
on Twitter as much as I do, but you know,
we're all creatures of habit, so it's very tempting. It's unfortunately,
(24:02):
you know, it's it's just right there, you know, it's
like it's always open, always ready. Where did you study
improv and sketch? I was at a lot of places,
you know. I was at the Groundlings for quite a
period of time, and quite a long period of time.
I was also at the US tob Theater intermittently, the
Pack Theater as well. And I briefly worked and took
(24:23):
a class and did some stand up at the Flappers
and Burbank and you know, I just kind of like
I've been around. When did you say that this was
what you wanted to do for a living. It's an
excellent question. I want to say it was always something
that was a bit of a pipe dream for me.
I came to l A as a transfer student from Ranchekukamanga.
I was going to community college at Chiefee College, and
(24:45):
I was originally actually just going to probably just become
a teacher. I didn't have the strongest sense of direction
or ambition. I always enjoyed acting in comedy. I didn't
have a lot of um, I guess confidence or that
that are sort of lit under my ass to go
for it. And then I came to I transferred to
u C l A and I was on campus. I
(25:08):
felt a little bit. I don't know, maybe I was romanticizing,
feeling out of place or something, but there was a
part of me that was just like, I'm out here,
I want to just see what the scenes like. And
I knew that I was in close approximation to the Groundlings.
So that's when I just decided I'm gonna sign up
for my first Groundlings class. And I did. And I
want to say sometime around the point where I graduated
(25:30):
us l A, somewhere between that and maybe a year
or so later, was when I thought, what if I
don't know, got some head shots and started applying myself
a little bit more like like like why not you
know I was seeing I at that point had seen
you know, other folks in classes i'd taken or peripherally
in that sort of scene that were you know, they
(25:52):
were working, they were auditioning, they were they were doing
the grind. And I had been so reluctant and afraid
of that or thinking, I guess that I wasn't skilled
enough or worthy enough to do that. And I don't know,
there was something that switched for me, maybe around like
fifteen or sixteen, where I decided like why not me?
Why don't I? Why don't I try to navigate that
(26:13):
or figure that out? And there's a lot of trial
and error, and I honestly want to say it wasn't
until around the pandemic that I started to sort of
figure out a little more of a comedic voice that
I had to have a bit more of, like I guess,
not a mission statement around what I do per se.
It's like it's not that serious, but it's it's having
an idea of like what I enjoy doing or what
(26:36):
about comedy attracts me to it and why I want
to perform it, and so I've been just trying to
swim my way through that and also paying my bills.
You know, it's interesting. You will not believe this. Why
I don't believe you already. We actually have in our
archives footage from the alternate universe in which you were
a teacher instead of doing what you do now. That
(26:59):
must be crazy. We actually, you guys have some some
some superior technology around here. That's insane. We have footage
of you with your what do you what do you
call that employee review with the principal. Oh my goodness,
so let me let me go ahead, and I'm excited
to just do this pulp. Sorry, yeah, yeah, mr Mr Kendall,
(27:27):
thank you. A couple of questions. It's a day to
day what you're teaching these children, these fourth graders right there,
you know, they're nine. Yeah, sorry, I just felt like
I needed to remind myself that summer time sure depends
on their birthdays. Summertime, sum are eight. Some are really
(27:49):
really smart, smart kids. Yeah, hodgepodge of children ages age wise,
smattering if you supposed to teach them, you know, mass
sting of algebra kind of kind of getting into that. Yeah,
you want to tell me why you're spending the first
thirty minutes teaching them zips happens up. First of all,
what is that? Okay? Well, first off, when I came
(28:13):
to the school Central Elementary, it happened to be convenient
to the location where in which I wanted to live.
And so you know, I remember reaching out to the
dean of the district superintendent, the superintendent, right, yes, m
that's how the hierarchy works naturally. I know these things.
I know, and you know what, I apologize for correcting you.
(28:36):
That's like, no, no, don't don't apologize. I deserve it.
Nobody deserves that. Really, nobody deserves that. You're a guest
here in my office, correct you. You listen. All of
this is to say that zips ups up is about
reacting in the moment and being agreeable. And I want
my students to be agreeable and adaptable and to think
(29:00):
quickly and and and also my time with the students
is on an average about thirty to forty five minutes.
And I am not a math person. I actually I
studied English literature at U C. L A. I'm not
saying that's a brag. That's just what I did, um,
so thank you, you know I did. Actually I put
(29:23):
it at the top, in the middle of the bottom.
It's exactly well. The thing is, you know, I just
I was really trying to avoid being placed in a
position where I was going to have to use the
left side of my brain because that's all rotted from cigarettes, alcohol,
poor choices. You know, there's a lot of regrettable things.
And so when these these nine eight, nine to ten
(29:44):
year old children, you know, they come into my classroom
expecting me to teach them timestables, division, what have you,
I am just at see it is overwhelming, and uh,
you know, so we do the sip steps up partly
just to bring me into the present. Well, I'm not
(30:04):
I'm not trying to be that the typical millennial here,
Proposter Candle, I know you're gen X, but listen, I
didn't expect to become a poetry teacher at the elementary
level or whatever. You know, but I uh, I am
struggling with numbers I always have. That's gonna, I gotta
tell you, that's gonna. It's gonna come back and bite
you poventually unless something miraculous happens where this district completely
(30:28):
changes the curriculum. You gotta no numbers, I'm sure, no, no, no, no,
I have them. They're all I write them down, you know.
I write them down with a sharpie on my arm
every day. Uh, I have them here right now. See
one to those are numbers. Smudge, smudge, five, six, seven
to work on that smudge sideways in sideways. Um, it
(30:52):
looks like a double. It looks like a three kissing
another three is what that is actually, and then it's
like a part in a mirror, like a hardened Yeah,
that's kind of cute cut cute. Um no, but I
know that it's an eight. And um yeah, I think right,
(31:12):
I know, I know what maybe you should Hey listen, hey,
Mr Kendall, Zip zap. A few months later we can
be in for a second semester employee review. All right, problem, Yes,
Mr Kendall, you are Congratulations to you. You're out of
the box, thinking God, the district could completely change their
(31:34):
curriculum and they're moving more towards the improv way of teaching.
Center those antiquated numbers and however, your class numbers, um yeah,
let's look here at the sounded movement opening performance of
(31:56):
them are starting off just acting like the cold ditches.
That's a very bush league way to begin to found
a movement. Opening. Listen, you know what, I can always
just be cold. That's just how we're gonna start. We're
all cold. Okay, Well, like I have, I have to
be straight up. Okay, Listen. I had an improv teacher
when I was at the ground Links Theater. Dropped something definite.
(32:18):
You dropped a name there, I dropped, I dropped a name.
I dropped a groundling here like a real groundling as
a whole. Listen. When I studied intermediate improv, he said,
he genuinely said that we can't do improv in a
(32:38):
hot room. Okay, And it's true. It's true because when
you're hot, you get slow. And it's listen, it's not
an excuse, it's real. And we could not touch the
A C in the ground Links classroom digging. Then explain
what they'll start with digging, with digging miraculously, there are
(33:00):
you one mind. Everyone knows how to dig. Everyone knows
how to dig. We don't all know how to make
a sandwich or cut a cucumber, but we all know
how to dig. Okay, everyone sat in a pile of sand,
Mr Kendall, have you not sat in a pile of
sand in the cold players? Mr Kendall was my father's name,
Kendall Kendall. My name is Carl Kendall. Carl Kendall. Oh
(33:20):
my god. Wow, that was really something. It could have
been so different. Yeah, it could have been so different.
I'm not gonna lie. I kind of I'm kind of
glad I'm not living in that all time universe with
Carl Kendall sucked. What are you working on now? Anything
we should be looking for? Yeah, I mean you know
you can. You can check me out on on the socials.
I'm always making new videos, new content. I'll be uh
(33:43):
working on longer form content as as as things move forward.
I guess the short answer is, actually, no, that sounds terrible.
That sounded terrible. That's not that's not technically what I meant.
But just still writing. I'm still figuring things out. I
guess it's it's it's I'm in a little bit of
(34:04):
a creative fox right now. With Yeah, Chelsea Pope, thanks
so much for joining us, and thank you so much
for for having me coming up. Act three. The first
the word from our sponsors who make this high quality
program possible. Stay with US Act three. The hummingbird swings
(34:40):
blurred while it equally sipped the sugar water from the feeder. Laura,
you've got to get a job. I'm dying here drowning. Hey, Thomas,
why are you get yours? You get always get on
the back about getting a job. Blah blah blah blah blah.
It's like, what's your pousemus Second, look at the humming birds?
Like what the ming birds? With the hummingbirds? Again? Look
(35:02):
in you're not like, Oh, you're so lazy blah blah
blastic Thomas. Look at the hummingbirds. Yes, the hummingbirds are gorgeous,
But do you also see this slip that was left
on the door by the landlord. We're gonna get kicked
out if you don't get a job. There's gonna be
nowhere for the hummingbirds to flutter around it. What what
(35:23):
what is that? Laura? What what are you doing? This
is the first time I've stop the well, look at
the hummingbirds you're looking at good for you? Beautiful? Look
at that? Look at that? Look at the wing? Look
at that's all blurry in it. It's blurry wing. No no, no, no, listen, no,
(35:44):
we gotta we gotta get it together. It we gotta
get gotta get out there it man, haven't has passed?
What has passed? We've got look at he's look at you.
You stripe on his it's got a little stripe. So happy.
I'm just sugar. You know, we saw the hunky he's
(36:09):
on this side of it. It's on the other side
of it. And don't should bring in a bathe well,
not a little baby. Did you go on to the
to the mansa dot com? Did you try to find
any so you go on glass door? You're not you?
You didn't you link? No, listen, I went, I looked
(36:32):
and there's no shut up. Okay, oh look it's a
little feet a room. I just want to make a
more sugar. We gotta make a more sugar. Water. We
have sugar, get some sugar. But we we could go
down the streets like the Starbucks or something of money
and get the money for we just steal some of
(36:53):
the sugars from the caddy. He should you're steal some
sugars from the caddy and we put him with some water.
We put him on the fasten. Laura, listen, you're gonna
kick us out. And my brother is not going to
help us move again. He's already helped us move a
couple of times. His back is big. We're not gonna
shut up. Shut up, shut up, look at it, Look
(37:16):
at it ready. You know what I want to be doing.
You know I want to get or put some sugar
water in my hand and have it coming. Didn't they
be when I got some honey? I think maybe you
don't got honey honey stick on me just to put
in your hand right now, use all of it those
because I'm stop a little bit, no st and you
cannot the other half because we don't eat. Don't eat
because because you got no job. Okay, well maybe you
(37:38):
could get a job. But here, why don't we feed
the hummingbirds? I'll put it in my study. You think
he's gonna come over, honkysar, don't you. I'll pull yourself together.
(37:58):
If we don't get to act together a way, they're
gonna kick us out. My brother is gonna head bla blah,
gonna be out on a fragging street. I'm gonna get god,
I'm gonna have my insurance ran out. I'm not gonna
see you that therapace. Okay it look look, look quiet,
(38:21):
stop everybody this everyone freeze. It's a beautiful there's more.
It's this tours a green one and a red one.
I didn't know they came in red. They look at
dance of honey bird love so pretty. Put your hand out, Thomas,
put your hand down with the honey. Oh God, crying Christ,
(38:47):
what a ship all we leave in? I know they did.
I didn't know that they bid. Okay, I did not
do that. Okay, I gave you the honey list this, Thomas.
What We've had a wonderful five years together. Okay, I
don't think, okay that we've been on the brink of
(39:09):
bankruptcy every waking second. But I can't support this whole
family on this last food by families two people, I know,
but that's a lot of people. That's more than one person.
That's maybe, I don't know what, maybe his families three people.
I can't stay mad at the bird, fly straight with
the bird? Yeah, okay, well you know what? Are you
(39:31):
mad at the bird? Are you mad at me? What? Really?
What about it? Boat? Okay? Well you know what I say.
Why don't we just wait to see till the Landlord
actually comes in here and does something about it, because
the way I see it, you're coming at me complained,
Oh we're gonna get kicked out. Blah blah blah blah blah.
Ain't nobody coming in here? Okay, we'll just enjoying ourselves
(39:53):
with the hunting birds and then and then nobody nobody
be coming and kicking us out. A lug. Landlord finally
came by both of you. What is this? You're still here?
I gave you three days, not a still vacate. Why
are you still here? You'll see anything in boxes? Okay,
how hold on? When't you Why did you shut up
(40:15):
for a second? I want you to look out the
wind till Mr Landlord, I am skip the goal? Is
the weather or not that I should look out the window?
I think first I should continue tearing you both in.
No one but no. Look at the little birdie, humble right,
Look at that little birdie you in the honey? Yeah,
look a little half of half a stick. Honey, I'm
(40:37):
gonna put it on your hand. Okay. If I'm not resting,
I'm giving Come on, get yourself. Why do you get
a job? Go to school? Give me your honey, right now.
I'm no, no, no, I'm squeezing. I'm squeezing on your
hand right now. Okay, here we go, we go down
and down. Come in, little buddy, come buddy. Do we
do it? Birdie? So help you? If this birdie doesn't,
(41:01):
oh no, better falls out of here either, you'll pay
me the rent. This bird eats out of my hand?
What do you get the funk out? Okay? So like this, okay,
so like if the birdie's out of your hand, we're fine. Okay,
So hey, little birdie, come in here, you sleep skid dish,
she's not coming. You know. It's tough because it's like
(41:21):
they don't usually respond to English language. But I'm trying.
You know, a little barn getting here, don't fly away,
a little bark getting in here. I got an idea.
You know how the wind owes me a favorite? Oh why?
I think I might pray to God and the wind
to see if the wind will blow the body house.
(41:42):
I think that's a great idea. I've had a sun
but dear Lord, blow Lord Lord, Yeah, it's the wind.
Can I speak to the wind? Speaking wind? Would you
mind terribly? This is I've got my hand hold on
(42:06):
humming coming right until they oh, what did this dee?
You'll know what what your kids stay? I was wonderful.
We appreciate that. Foiled again by the wind for the
producer Andy and especial guest contributor to Chelsea Pope. I'm
your sorry. And this was This American Laugh with Ari
(42:29):
Stalatari and Andy Harris. Join us next time. This American
Laugh with Aristotle, Attari and Andy Harris can be found
wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate
and review. You can also find us on Instagram at
This American Laugh and on Twitter at American Laugh with
three h. That's American Laugh with three h is
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