November 15, 2021 • 45 mins
This week’s theme: “Deception.” A man’s dullness helps him fail upward, a woman copes with her significant other’s gullibility, and a group of ponytailed workers try to help a customer.
Special Guest Contributor Katie Marovitch is an actress, writer and improviser. You’ve seen her work on CollegeHumor, her show “Kingpin Katie,” and “Waffle,” and you may have seen her performing on various improv stages in L.A.
More At: www.katiemarovitch.com
IG: @katiemarovitch
Twitter: @katiemarovitch
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Portions of This American Laugh with Aristotle Atari and Andy Harris.
The improvised documentary podcast are brought to you by listeners
like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, and the all powerful, all
knowing Random Sentence Generator, which inspires the stories you're about
to hear. Yes, whenever you hear this sound, the next
sentence you hear is a random sentence provided by our
(00:21):
revered omnipotent random Sentence Generator. For more This American Laugh.
Listened to more episodes of This American Laugh, I guess
and now your first random sentence. She found his complete
illness interesting. So that's what I did this morning. You
(00:48):
kind of just watched your serial. It's foggy, Yeah, I
was starving. Yeah, but this is something about when the
milk penetrates O D O S. Yeah. Wait wait wait,
hold on now, I'm I'm not gonna I thought I
was getting you know, I could listen to you for hours.
(01:09):
Challenge accepted two hours later. So they were just really
soggy at this point. Yeah, So I dumped him out
and sank you didn't even try to eat them? No, no,
because you know, why why get satisfaction? Why be satisfied
(01:30):
in life. That's my that's my motto. In fact, in fact,
I'm so adamant that nobody has ever satisfied. Yeah. Oh,
that's just where you're going to end. Okay, pretty good,
right Ah, this is really really going well. Yeah. So,
(01:51):
um so, do you want me to go from my
my previous experience if other children's play places? Yeah, sure,
I honestly I'd love to hear it. But I think
that we've heard enough. Like, I'm ready to hire you. Really,
so you got the job working at Fanccenes Children's play Land.
All right, kids, so make sure you take your shoes
(02:13):
off one at a time. Why are you talking so slow?
This is what they hired me for. This is me.
The people that runs his place can accept me for me.
I think that you kids can expert. And where is
your costume? All the other people have a costume on
and you don't have a costume on. This is the costume.
I'm myself. I have a block shirt on, and Jean's like,
(02:36):
not fun. We're the little kids. We like fun, we
like bright things. Well, then you came to the wrong place. Miraculously,
his behavior led to a promotion, because now the shifts
supervisor a Franccenes Kids Children's play area place, Becky here,
and you didn't need to talk to you from an please,
I would love to hear its. So you're doing a
(02:57):
great job, by the way. I mean, the children hate you,
but yeah, I just love hearing you talk. That's really
nice of you. Um, this is never easy. Don't because
you know I've been bumped up and now I'm your superior. Yeah. Um,
I can't help but notice that at the birthday party. Yeah,
(03:18):
Reba Witz kid, you joined in to sing Happy Birthday
to the children. Yeah. Well, I like to sing a lot.
It's one of my hobbies, and I wanted the children
to hear. Look, I can't control what you do at home.
If you want to have fun and be happy at home, however,
this is not the place for that. Because a new
(03:39):
new guard in town and Branson's play welcome. No one
knows the name. I don't know. We should put a
sign out. We should because I don't even know the name.
As it turns out, they actually had gone to sign
shot at one point. All right, so wow, Yes, we
have all sorts of signs here. We have big signs,
we have small's eyes, we have on signs, we have
(04:00):
wood signs with heyte what sort of sign are you
looking for your particular establishment? Honestly, it doesn't really matter.
We just um we everyone at the friends scenes. Um, okay,
I guess we should have started there. What is the
name of your place? It's I'm trying to remember. Is
(04:26):
a play place? Do you have a business card or something?
We never got around to it. We just couldn't think
of remember the name. And um, you can probably call
the home office. Okay, call the home office and they'll
give you the They should know it for sure. Okay,
what's the number? Seven? Seven? Okay, what's the rest of it?
(04:52):
Come on, give me the satisfaction giving me the full number.
You like that, you like what I did? Just now
gonna get the satisfaction? You know what? That does feel
strangely good, not being satisfied. This is this American Laugh
(05:16):
and the host Aristulatory with producer Andy Harris. Our especially
guest contributor for this week is Katie Marovich. In our show,
we'll be using our trusty random Sense generator to bring
you a fully improvised show in three acts. This week's
theme deception. Sometimes it's impossible to differentiate between who is
(05:37):
telling the truth and who is telling a dirty, filthy lie?
Stay with us. Act one. They looked up at the
sky and saw a million stars. Look you said that one? Good?
That one? Yeah? What's its name? What's your name? Monica?
(06:02):
You didn't know that? No? No, no, that's a clue.
What's your name? Got it? Monica? Is the star? Bryan
named it after you? That is so? Yeah, that's right.
It only cost me. I shouldn't tell you. It's kind
of tacky. Only cost me a twenty bad thousand dollars.
(06:27):
Why is that's the way? Too much? I mean I
love it, but that's the way. Do you want money?
That's that's the going rate for No, there's no way
that's true. No, No, it's in sky. I mean it's
it's a part of nature. You trying to say to you? Overmade? Yeah,
(06:48):
that can't be right. I trusted the guy. He told
me this. He wrote on a piece of paper, you
own this star. Okay, let me see the piece of paper. Okay, No,
this is a map in first of all this and
he said it's made of paper and McDonald's snaphan and
it says you, Brian, are the proud owner of a
(07:09):
star that Okay, he spelled Brian wrong. Keep a brain.
It's not even your name. Look, that's not the important part.
The important part is that the star is named after you,
and I paid top dollar for it. You know, hold on,
you know what I gotta call it? Can you? Can
you just look at your star for a minute, your
expensive star? Yeah? Okay? Hello? Yeah, Hi? Is this uh
(07:34):
Walt Starvington? Yeah? So? Um Brian, Hey Brian, how you doing, Brian? Brian?
Be strong? Okay, he so listen to me. You you
sold me a star, and I can't help but think
that you might have gouged me on the price. Here. No, no,
(07:56):
you break your breaking up? Okay, he lost the connection.
That's not what happened. You heard it. As a speaker,
he could cut out. He made a noise like the
phone was cutting out, and then he hung off on Monica. Look,
I love you. I love you enough to name a
star after you and spend every bit of money that
I have, plus take out alone for the breast of
(08:18):
it that I couldn't what. I love you very much.
Trust is a fundamental element of life. You gotta trust people, right,
I mean, you just gotta trust them. Okay, let's just
finish our champagne. By the way, there's a bottle of
champagne that you're looking at right here. I bought it
(08:39):
from a guy sitting outside. I knew it tasted where is.
Bought it from a guy who said that he was
born on top of a hay bale at a winery
and grew up on a winery. And he handed me
this bottle of champagne, and he told me it was very,
(09:02):
very good champagne. Did you pay for it? Then mowed
him several separate times, because there's a limit how many
times how much money you can venmo a person. Yes,
let's just say we won't be going on vacation anytime
soon unless it's to the time share that I that
I just what your birthday only comes once a year, Brian,
(09:25):
I bought. I bought a time share from a guy
I knew, a guy. He handed me these keys that
he said he just had made to a time share.
So we can't even go to the time share, is
what I'm gathering. Well, I don't know. I haven't been
by that yet. I've never actually seen it. Where is
the time share supposed to be located? I took a
picture of him when he was spinning a globe and
(09:47):
then poked his figure on the globe and he said,
it's right here, sir, I took a picture of it.
Let me go through my phone real quick and see
if I could find a picture. Oh, it's here, it's
here in Detroit, Brian, check it out. Thank you might
be a little bit unless dumb means kind, because I'm
kind enough to buy you a star, I buy you
a time share, I buy you a half drank bottle
(10:09):
of champagne or half un drank. It sounds like you
spent roughly two hundred thousand dollars on my birthday this year,
and I didn't ask for that. It's not even a
memorable birthday. Really, you're going to forget this day. I
don't think you'll ever forgo. I just mean it's eight.
(10:29):
Who cares about you? And I both know is a
very important number to me because that was the age
of the guy who needs a kidney, and I promised
to him that I would give him my kidney, and
I signed a document and said that I would give
him his kid And that's how old he is, and
that's how I guess. This is just a long way
(10:49):
of me trying to tell you that I promised my kidney.
Oh my god, we need to probably speed this up
a little bit because the duck is scheduled to grubbing
in a four hours. Brian. This is all very nice,
but I just I can't be with someone like you. Sadly,
(11:11):
Monica and Brian ended up hiding ways. I'll drop you
off at the hospital. It sounds like you have to
go right, and we we took my car the hospital.
No no, no, no. The surgery isn't at the hospital.
The surgery is that a Is that a casino? Oh? Yeah, yeah, Brian,
I can't believe I didn't see the signs earlier and
wake up with your way earlier. You realized that she
(11:33):
should have noticed the signs on their first date together, Brian, Monica,
I recognized you. You have the yellow heat on you
and you have the red road. Yes, I do, well,
I did have. I did have. I did have a
dozen of them. But I kept going around to every
woman and said, should I give you the throws? And
(11:55):
they said yeah, sure, so eleven other women here generous.
Oh you know, I just I just trust people whenever
they whenever they tell me that they want something. I
just there's something about it that seems like it could
be a red flag and I'm going to ignore it. No,
it's a rose, it's a red yeah. Oh yeah cool.
(12:16):
So should we get tapas high folks? Um? Can I
get you started with something to drink? Um? Yeah? What what?
What will you have? Oh? I guess I'll do a
singry that sounds good. Um? Could you also buy me
as Angria? Money's a little tight right now because I
totally I've got this. I've I've got to paint drop.
(12:37):
Oh yeah, so I used to too, but oh was
that recent? Yeah? It's it's like just your basic run
of the mill downsizing where boss calls you to the
office and he says, uh, we're letting you go because
you stole a palate of printers, you know, downsize that
(12:59):
kind thing that happened. That could be a red flag,
but I'm gonna ignoring. I'm gonna ignore him. I found
some footage of the incident in question. Bryant my office
right now. Yeah, you want to explain to eat by
your van is filled with epsom printers. Yeah, Sheila told
me that the company was doing a printer sweep steaks printers,
(13:24):
sweepast the sweepstakes, yea, and everybody gets at everybody pallet printers.
Both of you should be ashamed of yourself. What Brian,
you're fired for stealing a pallet of printers. You're your numbers,
your number of last quarter. You're you're fine, but but
(13:47):
but really, can we can we stop trying to convince
the gullibol to steal stupid? It was really yeah, it'll
last time. Okay, no more, probably, Okay, thank you. I
(14:10):
think across your other friends. On the other hand, got
me take your shoes off. Okay, Really that's a serious
You already ruined Brian's life. I know he's stupid, but
(14:34):
still you can't go around convincing the stupid people that
work here to steal. It's not I mean, it might
be fun for you, but it's not fun for that.
But it's not fun. Three right, all right, I'm gonna
let you get back to work, I promise days later.
(14:58):
Yes I can't, but I did it again. They did
it again, didn't that? Yeah, I'm looking at the security.
Don't give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire you.
You literally came in here and did the exact same
thing that I asked you not to do. That's the reason.
Because you want the job. Job, You're gonna have to
(15:20):
give me a better reason. Please, I can't say a
little scamp. All right, really this is the last. If
it happens again, the authorities might be called. They might
(15:41):
all right, okay here moments later, Yeah, why did Okay? Okay,
you know what. Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to go out there and I want
you to promise me you're going to keep convincing people
(16:02):
to steal things. That's what I want. Okay, So you
would go out there, you do do a real bad
job out there. You convince everyone to steal things. Okay,
it's not any fun. I was holding that. I was
holding that you would go back into the into the
warehouse and you would not convince everyone there's steal things,
(16:24):
and then I wouldn't have to talk to you again
about that. Yeah, I didn't understand. There was a little
convoluted like from brain to mouth. I could tell that
you and the listener we're going to hard. I wounderstanding
what I was doing. I've gotten there, ye, jailer, is
that my watching goddam coming up back? To the first
(16:53):
word from our esteemed sponsors, stay with us to interview.
That's welcome this week's guest contributor to Katie Marovich. Katie, welcome, Hi,
thanks for having me, Thanks for being here. So how
(17:15):
long have you been listening to the show? Um? About
a day? Try again? How long? Longer? Long? Yeah? Since
the beginning? Right, Oh, I've been listening since episode one.
So you're a die hard I'm a die hard fan.
Do you remember what happened in that first episode? Yeah?
I remember the theme was trust in episode one? And um,
(17:38):
what was your favorite scene from that episode? I'm curious,
probably the second scene. What happened to that? Um? Sorry
somebody was Yeah, I was like a brief moment and
but no, I definitely we actually we actually have that
(17:58):
scene in the archives. Can I would love to hear
it and just kind of remind myself what let's hear
that these ah, excuse me, excuse becuse me. I'm the
one's coughing and not, like you know what, agree to disagree.
(18:20):
I'm the one who's coughing more. Okay, I would say
that you're coughing a little bit louder than I'm coughing.
But that doesn't mean that I'm not coughing. The scale
of one to ten, one being me being the one
who's being the coffing coughing man, and then ten being
me mostly a bunch of coughing, I'd probably say I'm
(18:40):
a ten, I'm a t No, no, I'd say you're
like a negative negative, Okay, I've of coughing. Well, okay, look,
this isn't a competition, but if it was, I would
be victorious and I would be hoisting the trophy over
my head that is filled with coughs. Okay, anyway, so
(19:05):
what was that I still had a little bit of
cough did you? Yeah? Actually I still had a little
bit of calls really, because your eyes weren't really squinty
like one does you were pretending No, no, no, no,
look listen, look, listen, look yeah, look say it. I
didn't come here to be questioned about my dedication to
(19:28):
the craft of coughing. All right, interesting, now, look both
adults here. I think it would be best if we
just moved on accepted the fact the reality that I
was the one who coughed the most and the best.
(19:48):
And first, Yeah, that was a really good I loved
that episode. Really good? Was I the guess it sounded
like me right? You know what? I think it might
have been. I think it might have been. Yeah, that's
so funny. That makes sense why you would have listened
since day one, because you obviously listened to my episode. Yeah,
(20:10):
like like a quarterback watching the game film, you would
have gone back first studied it to see. I've been
in a couple episodes though, have you? Yeah? What what other?
That one about um about outer space? The outer space
episode Space Extravagance, so that we have a Space Extravagance. Yeah,
I think that was years ago. That was more than
(20:31):
years I was about a decade ago. That mistaken producer
Andy had the episode in the archives he usually does,
So let's play it. Space is beautiful. It's very fast.
We've got first space, beautiful space. I'm so sorry what
(21:05):
I thought it was off book of book. I'm not.
You're not awful Space Extravaganza. This is a musical. You
knew that. I'm real sorry, you're throwing me off. I'm
really sorry. Can we go back to one? You know?
I don't know? No, come on, you can trust me.
I'm not going to let you down like I did
(21:26):
at the NASA. Yeah, when we made when we pitched,
we pitched the musical to musical to NASA. I'm not
going to do it, okay, okay, okay, okay, but you
better go to write this space. It is beautiful, space, beautiful,
(21:46):
and it's it's beauty and it's in its plan. It's
in the space. It's No. I didn't forget you're making
us look like no, no, no, no, no, no no.
I was so I got choked up because a song
(22:08):
that we've been working on for weeks, it's really it's
just such a beautiful song you wrote about space. Yeah,
it is beautiful and I did write it, and you're
ruining it. That was an intense episode and that scene. Yeah,
that's what one us the Webby Webby Award. I can't
believe we got a Webby I know they give it
Webbies for podcasts, right, yeah, because we got one so well,
(22:31):
I mean we of course I'm a part of that.
I think we were the lifetime achievement. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
So Katie, tell us about yourself. What do you do.
I'm a comedian and writer actor, very unique out here
and not a lot of people doing that in Los Angeles.
But yeah, and I've been out here for about eight years,
(22:51):
nine years doing that and you moved here from Chicago,
so sad of Chicago? Really? Yeah? But do you decide
to pack up and move to Los Angeles? Well, I
knew that I wanted to be a writer. I thought
I was going to be a journalist and kind of
fell into comedy. I was lucky because as a child,
(23:13):
my parents would bring me to like Second City. I oh,
and I was like really seeing some great groups early on,
like Kokani Social Clubs improvised Shakespeare, like some of the
best improvisers, and that definitely had a big impact. And yeah,
so I just I honestly like used comedy as a
little kid to avoid getting made fun of, like a
(23:36):
defense mechanism, and it worked out. You know, we actually
have in the archives, we have you going to that
first improv show at Second City when you were a child.
That's why did you know that we have that? That's
so we're you have that you would have Alright, Gaty
for your seventh birthday party, we're taking you do improv sho. Now, look,
(24:00):
hopefully this is gonna be appropriate for little child years.
I'm so excited. Hope you will be Yeah. Now, let
me explain to you how this works. Okay, you go in,
they ask you for a for a word or a phrase.
Sometimes they ask for a location that can fit inside
this room that is contrived and the UM I don't
(24:21):
like that. I'm not a fan of that because it's
basically like you're you're building the scene for him. Yeah,
so they asked for a word, You'll yell out a word, okay,
everybody where where, laffy taffy. Can we get a one
word suggestion? Please? Dad? I got to give the word Dad.
I gave the words could we We usually don't do this,
(24:45):
but if we could, uh, we could get a different
suggestion please? Hello christ And I gave the word again.
You know, I'm gonna ask for an unprecedented third suggestion
if we could just uh dick and towards freaking. It
was a very special moment. That was a good memory.
(25:06):
It was nice to hear your formative years. What was
your first job out here in l A. I was
an intern at College Humor. Well, like I said, I
just wanted to be a writer. But then someone mentioned, like,
you have to do improv classes. So I started taking
improv classes at the UCV as you do. And UM,
(25:26):
I don't know. I really fell in love with performing
and so um, I think they kind of noticed those
a little weird little funny at college humor, and they
started letting me sit in on the writer's room and um,
I get to like act and write and eventually became
a like a full time cast member writer. So I
did that for a long time. We actually have you
sitting in on the writer's meetings when they let you
(25:52):
come in and and sit in. Wow. Um, so let's
let's hear that that's a new as well. Alright, everybody,
we'd like to, uh, can we get a nice warm
welcome for uh, for Katie, she's uh, you here and
she is going to uh she's she's you know, sorry
(26:13):
doing it doing a show. She's going to pitch some
stuff to us. Okay, go pitch okay. Um wow. Um.
So it's it's like a guy and um he goes
into work and he realizes he he has two peers
(26:33):
of underwear on um instead of the usual one, and
um uh once hey, everybody, enjoy your just hang back,
take take five, sit on your monster energy drinks and
whatever the hell do you college? You guys, I'm gonna
(26:54):
talk to Kati. Katie. What are you doing? I'm pitching.
I'm funny. That's a pit two pairs underwear, I mean,
because usually you wear one parent. I understand what unders
in the game, but but why why why? That's the
kind of that's the kind of revolutionary mind blowing comedy
you bring into the tape. I mean, just trust me,
(27:15):
this is this, This sketch is gonna go over. Really, Katie.
I'm gonna let you pitch one more time, okay, And
depending on how this next pitch goes, maybe I'll let
you pitch the third time. Okay, but peace, do not
embarrass me in front of my I'm going to kill it. Okay.
I told you I'm good at that. All right, all right, everybody,
(27:36):
let's sip of those M E D drink. You know what,
Thank you? Thank you? Going to college for this? Yeah,
I did for I did comedy for this, really, yes,
I did comedy. I didn't think people I did. I did. Okay,
(27:56):
Katie's got another pitch, everybody, all right, come on, wow,
what's let's do? Okay? Um, so this one is an
autobiographical Okay, al right, guys, come listen. Up and Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, listen, Jeff,
will you shut the funk up for one? Listen? Thank you? Anyway,
it's about a girl um and she's all um. She
(28:26):
realized she has low blood sugar and she just full
on fame and then that's where it ends. Uh yeah, yeah, Katie, Sam,
I told you you'd love it and did that? Did
(28:48):
give me a little bit? Yeah? Anybody else, anybody else
have anything they want to add to this? Yeah, Jeff,
here have a question for the newbe Why exactly do
do say? Can you shut up for once? The first
day here? How do you know all the time? Looking?
How do you know that? How do you know that?
(29:09):
I like talking all the time because people when they're
trying to talk, how do you know it? What about me? Jeff?
You're stow? That was? That was a rough first day
just saying I think about that really tossed in the
deep end too. Yeah, they did, because they don't don't
(29:30):
normally do that. I have the assistant. They didn't. They
don't just say like, hey, of pitches, that was? What
are you working on these days? Now? I'm making a
bunch of short films. I just made my third one
last month and um just writing a ton really, that's it.
Anything to plug? No, I don't have anything to plug.
(29:54):
I mean you can follow me on things, and then
I'll talk about things that I have to plug. Let's
wear the It is um at Katie Mirovich on Twitter
and Instagram, and I'm also on tik stock and it's
the worst garbage ever. Know it is, um So don't
follow that one, but it is. You know, I'm on there.
(30:15):
We actually have we actually have one of your most
viewed TikTok in our archives. So do we have to
watch it? As as the producer of the show, it's
my job you have delve into the life of the
guests beforehand. Actually pulled it up. Okay, Okay, So this
(30:36):
first dance move, it's a lot of um, just kind
of like silly arms. I would call it. Have waffle
iron in one hand, baffle in one hand, uh and
an eggo waffle in the other hand. So that's already
already made. It's already made. I didn't need that. Yeah,
well it's a dance. Yes, I'm doing just very silly arms.
(30:57):
Akay at this point. Now I'm just doing some interesting gyrations.
Explained the hat to me. The hat, well, the hat
isn't so much a hat as a flower pot, but
it's I'm wearing it as a hat. Is that like?
Is that like the new one? No, it's not. Um,
I'd say that my comedy is hard, and that's kind
(31:20):
of what I'm doing here. Why are the clean xboxes underfeed? Well,
that's because I that's exactly why. Yeah. So when I'm
at home, I like to put the xboxes on. Um,
and I obviously shot this at home, so that's why
that's happening. Oh and look it's the fifteen seconds are up.
It's only fifteen seconds. Yeah, that's pretty good, thank you.
(31:40):
I um, yeah, I love to dance. Yeah, yeah, and
you know what, I think that I think the listener
is in for a treat. Whenever they checked the rest
of the TikTok though, for sure and yeah again at
Katie Marvich Um, incredible dances, Katie Marovitch, thank you so
much for joining us this week. Thank you for having
me coming up at three. The first the word from
(32:02):
our sponsors who make this high quality program possible. Stay
with us at three. The team members were hired to
tet apart since they wore their hair in a bodytail?
(32:25):
Could I help you find anything you look for? Anything
in particular, like a certain resolution, or like certain size,
or like um sort thinking, I'm sorry, was I talking
to you just like two minutes ago? Or was I
talking to I don't think so, Garrett, Garrett. Sorry, I
(32:50):
was talking to it Michael right here. Here's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go back in
the back. I'm gonna check and see if we have
any sixty inches that aren't the floor modd okay, because
you have fingerprints all over with people like to walk
up and touch screen TV. Stupid, just stupid. Yeah, I
(33:11):
want to go check it back right back, Garrett, Garrett, Garrett,
got it. Somebody helping you. Garrett Garrett's helping you know,
I'm sorry, I thought you were Garrett. No, no, no,
I'm what's your name? I'm Blair, Yeah, I'm sorry. Is
Garrett helping you? Yeah, Garrett was helping me. But I
thought looking for then Michael was helping You're looking for
(33:34):
Michael was hope? Was Garrett helping you or was Michael
helping you? Okay, So I think what happened is Michael
was helping me, and then Michael went in the back
to go look for TV's and Garrett started helping me.
Garrot one in the back to go look at TV's
and no, I'm talking to Blair. Seems well anyway, I'm
hoping you're okay. I'm okay. I hope they're okay. When
did they go back there? Maybe like two minutes ago
(33:57):
for Garrett and maybe like five minutes ago for Mike.
I want to check on them, okay, okay, I can,
I can. I I just want to say, somebody helping
you out, Blair. Blair's helping you out? Are you player?
Who is Timoth? Timoth? Yeah? I haven't seen Blair in
a long time. Well, Blair, I think was just out
(34:21):
here and I think we were talking. What do you
look like? Um? He looked literally exactly like you? Is it?
Quadruplet situation? Blair was about Garrett Garrett okay. So here's
what happened was I was talking to him, Michael okay,
and then Michael he went in the back to look
for my sixty five in TV and then whoa, whoa, whoa.
We went to the back. I assume you have some
(34:42):
sort of warehouse back there. We can look for the
TVs that don't have the We were talking about the
smudge prints on the on the television when people walk
up to the floor models, and why did they touch this?
I have no idea. What the stupid, stupid, idiot, idiot boy. Okay,
so you're trying to tell me that they went to
the quote back, either Garrett or Michael, who said I'll
(35:05):
go to the back to look for a sixty five
in Okay, So I'm not sure. I'm sorry. What is
literally shaking himth Timothy Timoth, I'm sorry, literally shaking here.
I think I got to tell you something. Yeah, what happened?
The back burned down five years ago. They didn't rebuild. No, really,
(35:26):
nobody goes to the back. Nobody's supposed to go to
the back, okay, by I had to imagine there's something
back there. No, nothing's back there. We were told in
the team meeting this morning, okay, not you ever go
in the back, just like we're told every morning. And
(35:48):
they hired four new guys, Garrett, Michael, Blair Blair, and
then you, Timoth. There's another there's another four. We haven't met.
Brian's over. We haven't met him he's a interest somewhere.
He might have gone to the back me Timmoth, I
guess I'm not quite understanding why you're so it's not
(36:09):
like the black hole. No, you want to go investigate? Yeah, honestly,
I'm unapproved to you that it's not a black hole. Brian. Yeah,
I'm gonna take this customer to hell swears, and I
want to tell him that we're going. Yeah, I got
that investigate. We were told the meeting this morning, going back. Right,
(36:32):
let's go check it out. Okay, I'm not scared at all, truly, No,
because I don't. Let's just go back. Okay, this has
got to be here, right, timmyth Yeah, what are you
doing here? Uh? We're going to the back, coming to
look for you. Blair yeah, Garrett yeah, Michael Yeah, we
were all just coming to the back to check on
(36:54):
the TVs. Why. Yeah, I would like my sixty five.
The problem you didn't hear in the meeting they say
not to ever go in the back because of a portal. Yeah.
I trusted boss when he told us ever going to
feel like I shouldn't be here anymore. No, hang back, hangback.
You should you have to be here for it. Just
seems like you're having a bit of a moment and
(37:16):
I don't want to approaches manager to talk about it. Yo.
What yeah, Greg, can you do a little three six? Yeah?
You're noticing my party? It's coming in the top knock. Yeah,
I love it. Yeah, it looks good. It looks like
what it looks like, A like a pony's sale. That's
(37:39):
what I said. You know what, I gotta tell you.
You're not gonna believe this. I'm just now realizing that's
why they call it a pony literally right down now,
like just in this second, I realized that's why they
call it. That looks like a tailed it. Yeah, what's
going on? How are you back here? How come you
told me earlier that we couldn't go to the room, dude,
(38:03):
and I wasn't. Joe. You said that it burned down, Yeah,
that it happened. Well, why did you say that, Joe?
You're worried. I got to come on, we're the best part.
We have to have a back. Well that's what I
thought when you told it to me. And then and
then this woman is looking for TVs and um, yeah,
(38:24):
I'm sorry, Should I leave? You know, you gotta be
shouldn't be here. You know, you have to be here. Okay,
it just seems like you're having but you're but but
if I'm talking about you, you're included in the in
the conversation that I want you to be here, because
I don't think it's right to talk about somebody behind
someone's pony. Yes, did you notice I put my hair
(38:45):
in a pony pail? And I really appreciate that. Yeah,
I was feeling like I wasn't fitting in. And do
you have any previous experience? Um in uh, because we're
short staffed, Because do you have any prior experience with
I'm actually currently a children's surgeon and I'm just on
my lunch break. But you know what, I only have
(39:07):
a couple of surgeries this afternoon and I could I
could probably swing it. You want to work here? Yeah,
you know I do. Well, we'll chet chat after we
straighten out this. Okay, okay, I'll just stand right here. Okay, cool. Anyway,
why did you say that shit about the back room?
Like I said, I was joking, like, it's not really
(39:29):
my fault if you took that seriously, like that's on you. Yeah, Okay,
well I guess that this shame on me. Yeah. Luck
later I checked down footage from the Children's Surgery Clinics
operating table. So anyway, Um, this is actually going to
(39:50):
be my last surgeon job. But you're supposed to scrub
in for our sergeant job tomorrow morning, right, I know,
And I'm going to skip that surgeon's job. Excuse me?
Who else is going to do the surgeon's job if
you don't do the surgeon job tomorrow. There's a twenty
eight year old who is expecting canney transplant tomorrow. Are
you You're just I'm just supposed to tell well, it's
(40:14):
not really a children. How do you know what his intellect?
That's a very good point. That's your point. I would
argue that a twenty eight year old is a children
and a twenty nine year old can be your children. Yeah,
and I'm not done listing numbers. I'm sorry. I was
just gonna say I'm a fifty four children and I um, okay,
(40:37):
I'm I'm just I'm listening. That's is that my I've
been told in the past that I have a bad
like listening. Yes, I will say it looks like a scowl.
You look quite angry at Okay, I'm not it made me.
I'm not. I'm not angry with you about that. I'm
angry with you that you're just leaving the surgery place
with surgery. Got a better job, Okay, I'm gonna be
(40:58):
working at the best Buy breast bar. Yes, some place
doesn't even have a back room. They have something back
that they don't Why do people know? I went there
and I was looking for TVs. Yes, I was looking
for a big sixty furniture TV. And I went in
there and I was like, do you have anything that
doesn't have smudgles all over it? Because a lot of
(41:22):
what I don't get it. I don't really People are
so used to like phones and touching, touching, touching, they
think everything is a touch screen. You know what, I
was driving here? I saw somebody client. You know those
electronic billboards that they have that that like the they're
they're they're they're electronic. Yes, all right, So I was
(41:46):
climbing up the billboard. They had climbed up there and
they were touching the billboard like it was a test crate.
Went why why why? So anyway you're going, are you're
leaving us? Yes? So I can't make the cergein surgeons
stop tomorrow year old. Okay, well, I'll try to break
(42:10):
it to him gently. Yes, we're going to miss you.
This child's chest is open, so I should probably get
to it right. Yeah, I gotta tell you, am I
off the record here, there's no record. I'm not really
feeling super confident that the donor kidney donor tomorrow is
(42:31):
going to show up because I think that I think
that he might be onto the fact that kind of
a black market operation here. So is it that guy?
I think his name was Brian, Brian. He seemed real
dumb to me, super dumb. Something tells me that he's
(42:52):
gonna wise up and not come in for the surgery.
So I say, there spitballing here. Yeah, I say that
we leave this kid's cavity open. Okay, let's see how
nights here goes. If it wanted, we got an extra kiddy,
I mean, you got a kidney. It's just kind of
(43:15):
let's just kind of doctor. Yes, I know exactly what
you're saying. Do you all right? Are you sure? I'm
saying we showed it in to finish operating on this
child here? Oh, we can have his kidney maybe? Oh no, no, no, yes,
I got that. I got that. I got that. No,
I did get that. Yes, all right, I also will
(43:39):
miss you. Yeah. The day passed and it was time
for the surgery. Ryan, you did show up. Oh no, no, no,
that's fine. Um do you want mine anyway? Just because
I'm here, my girlfriend broke up with me. I don't
really have any reason to live. Oh well you can
still live with just want to hear kidneys? Yeah, so
(44:01):
that's not going to kill you. It's not No, that's
not going to kill you, you know what. I just Um,
I have shoot this fast because I have to go
to my new job at best A. Yeah. I just
stopped in quickly. You know. They don't even have a
back room there. No, they do. That's a The guy
who sold me the car with a broken window that
(44:21):
he had to that he had to hot wire. Um,
he sold it to me for five hundred thousand dollars,
he told me, because I bought it from from the
parking lot at the best Buy. The guy told me
that he they didn't have back room with well anyway, Um,
I don't work here, he was lying. And I don't
(44:43):
work here anymore. I'm like I said, just gathering my
box and I've got to all I shouldn't really be here. Well,
thank you for the producer Andy and I especially guest
Katy Merrilitch. I'm you know, sorry. And this was this
American laugh during the Next Time
Portions of This American Laugh with Aristotle Atari and Andy Harris.
The improvised documentary podcast are brought to you by listeners
like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, and the all powerful, all
knowing Random Sentence Generator, which inspires the stories you're about
to hear. Yes, whenever you hear this sound, the next
sentence you hear is a random sentence provided by our
(00:21):
revered omnipotent random Sentence Generator. For more This American Laugh.
Listened to more episodes of This American Laugh, I guess
and now your first random sentence. She found his complete
illness interesting. So that's what I did this morning. You
(00:48):
kind of just watched your serial. It's foggy, Yeah, I
was starving. Yeah, but this is something about when the
milk penetrates O D O S. Yeah. Wait wait wait,
hold on now, I'm I'm not gonna I thought I
was getting you know, I could listen to you for hours.
(01:09):
Challenge accepted two hours later. So they were just really
soggy at this point. Yeah, So I dumped him out
and sank you didn't even try to eat them? No, no,
because you know, why why get satisfaction? Why be satisfied
(01:30):
in life. That's my that's my motto. In fact, in fact,
I'm so adamant that nobody has ever satisfied. Yeah. Oh,
that's just where you're going to end. Okay, pretty good,
right Ah, this is really really going well. Yeah. So,
(01:51):
um so, do you want me to go from my
my previous experience if other children's play places? Yeah, sure,
I honestly I'd love to hear it. But I think
that we've heard enough. Like, I'm ready to hire you. Really,
so you got the job working at Fanccenes Children's play Land.
All right, kids, so make sure you take your shoes
(02:13):
off one at a time. Why are you talking so slow?
This is what they hired me for. This is me.
The people that runs his place can accept me for me.
I think that you kids can expert. And where is
your costume? All the other people have a costume on
and you don't have a costume on. This is the costume.
I'm myself. I have a block shirt on, and Jean's like,
(02:36):
not fun. We're the little kids. We like fun, we
like bright things. Well, then you came to the wrong place. Miraculously,
his behavior led to a promotion, because now the shifts
supervisor a Franccenes Kids Children's play area place, Becky here,
and you didn't need to talk to you from an please,
I would love to hear its. So you're doing a
(02:57):
great job, by the way. I mean, the children hate you,
but yeah, I just love hearing you talk. That's really
nice of you. Um, this is never easy. Don't because
you know I've been bumped up and now I'm your superior. Yeah. Um,
I can't help but notice that at the birthday party. Yeah,
(03:18):
Reba Witz kid, you joined in to sing Happy Birthday
to the children. Yeah. Well, I like to sing a lot.
It's one of my hobbies, and I wanted the children
to hear. Look, I can't control what you do at home.
If you want to have fun and be happy at home, however,
this is not the place for that. Because a new
(03:39):
new guard in town and Branson's play welcome. No one
knows the name. I don't know. We should put a
sign out. We should because I don't even know the name.
As it turns out, they actually had gone to sign
shot at one point. All right, so wow, Yes, we
have all sorts of signs here. We have big signs,
we have small's eyes, we have on signs, we have
(04:00):
wood signs with heyte what sort of sign are you
looking for your particular establishment? Honestly, it doesn't really matter.
We just um we everyone at the friends scenes. Um, okay,
I guess we should have started there. What is the
name of your place? It's I'm trying to remember. Is
(04:26):
a play place? Do you have a business card or something?
We never got around to it. We just couldn't think
of remember the name. And um, you can probably call
the home office. Okay, call the home office and they'll
give you the They should know it for sure. Okay,
what's the number? Seven? Seven? Okay, what's the rest of it?
(04:52):
Come on, give me the satisfaction giving me the full number.
You like that, you like what I did? Just now
gonna get the satisfaction? You know what? That does feel
strangely good, not being satisfied. This is this American Laugh
(05:16):
and the host Aristulatory with producer Andy Harris. Our especially
guest contributor for this week is Katie Marovich. In our show,
we'll be using our trusty random Sense generator to bring
you a fully improvised show in three acts. This week's
theme deception. Sometimes it's impossible to differentiate between who is
(05:37):
telling the truth and who is telling a dirty, filthy lie?
Stay with us. Act one. They looked up at the
sky and saw a million stars. Look you said that one? Good?
That one? Yeah? What's its name? What's your name? Monica?
(06:02):
You didn't know that? No? No, no, that's a clue.
What's your name? Got it? Monica? Is the star? Bryan
named it after you? That is so? Yeah, that's right.
It only cost me. I shouldn't tell you. It's kind
of tacky. Only cost me a twenty bad thousand dollars.
(06:27):
Why is that's the way? Too much? I mean I
love it, but that's the way. Do you want money?
That's that's the going rate for No, there's no way
that's true. No, No, it's in sky. I mean it's
it's a part of nature. You trying to say to you? Overmade? Yeah,
(06:48):
that can't be right. I trusted the guy. He told
me this. He wrote on a piece of paper, you
own this star. Okay, let me see the piece of paper. Okay, No,
this is a map in first of all this and
he said it's made of paper and McDonald's snaphan and
it says you, Brian, are the proud owner of a
(07:09):
star that Okay, he spelled Brian wrong. Keep a brain.
It's not even your name. Look, that's not the important part.
The important part is that the star is named after you,
and I paid top dollar for it. You know, hold on,
you know what I gotta call it? Can you? Can
you just look at your star for a minute, your
expensive star? Yeah? Okay? Hello? Yeah, Hi? Is this uh
(07:34):
Walt Starvington? Yeah? So? Um Brian, Hey Brian, how you doing, Brian? Brian?
Be strong? Okay, he so listen to me. You you
sold me a star, and I can't help but think
that you might have gouged me on the price. Here. No, no,
(07:56):
you break your breaking up? Okay, he lost the connection.
That's not what happened. You heard it. As a speaker,
he could cut out. He made a noise like the
phone was cutting out, and then he hung off on Monica. Look,
I love you. I love you enough to name a
star after you and spend every bit of money that
I have, plus take out alone for the breast of
(08:18):
it that I couldn't what. I love you very much.
Trust is a fundamental element of life. You gotta trust people, right,
I mean, you just gotta trust them. Okay, let's just
finish our champagne. By the way, there's a bottle of
champagne that you're looking at right here. I bought it
(08:39):
from a guy sitting outside. I knew it tasted where is.
Bought it from a guy who said that he was
born on top of a hay bale at a winery
and grew up on a winery. And he handed me
this bottle of champagne, and he told me it was very,
(09:02):
very good champagne. Did you pay for it? Then mowed
him several separate times, because there's a limit how many
times how much money you can venmo a person. Yes,
let's just say we won't be going on vacation anytime
soon unless it's to the time share that I that
I just what your birthday only comes once a year, Brian,
(09:25):
I bought. I bought a time share from a guy
I knew, a guy. He handed me these keys that
he said he just had made to a time share.
So we can't even go to the time share, is
what I'm gathering. Well, I don't know. I haven't been
by that yet. I've never actually seen it. Where is
the time share supposed to be located? I took a
picture of him when he was spinning a globe and
(09:47):
then poked his figure on the globe and he said,
it's right here, sir, I took a picture of it.
Let me go through my phone real quick and see
if I could find a picture. Oh, it's here, it's
here in Detroit, Brian, check it out. Thank you might
be a little bit unless dumb means kind, because I'm
kind enough to buy you a star, I buy you
a time share, I buy you a half drank bottle
(10:09):
of champagne or half un drank. It sounds like you
spent roughly two hundred thousand dollars on my birthday this year,
and I didn't ask for that. It's not even a
memorable birthday. Really, you're going to forget this day. I
don't think you'll ever forgo. I just mean it's eight.
(10:29):
Who cares about you? And I both know is a
very important number to me because that was the age
of the guy who needs a kidney, and I promised
to him that I would give him my kidney, and
I signed a document and said that I would give
him his kid And that's how old he is, and
that's how I guess. This is just a long way
(10:49):
of me trying to tell you that I promised my kidney.
Oh my god, we need to probably speed this up
a little bit because the duck is scheduled to grubbing
in a four hours. Brian. This is all very nice,
but I just I can't be with someone like you. Sadly,
(11:11):
Monica and Brian ended up hiding ways. I'll drop you
off at the hospital. It sounds like you have to
go right, and we we took my car the hospital.
No no, no, no. The surgery isn't at the hospital.
The surgery is that a Is that a casino? Oh? Yeah, yeah, Brian,
I can't believe I didn't see the signs earlier and
wake up with your way earlier. You realized that she
(11:33):
should have noticed the signs on their first date together, Brian, Monica,
I recognized you. You have the yellow heat on you
and you have the red road. Yes, I do, well,
I did have. I did have. I did have a
dozen of them. But I kept going around to every
woman and said, should I give you the throws? And
(11:55):
they said yeah, sure, so eleven other women here generous.
Oh you know, I just I just trust people whenever
they whenever they tell me that they want something. I
just there's something about it that seems like it could
be a red flag and I'm going to ignore it. No,
it's a rose, it's a red yeah. Oh yeah cool.
(12:16):
So should we get tapas high folks? Um? Can I
get you started with something to drink? Um? Yeah? What what?
What will you have? Oh? I guess I'll do a
singry that sounds good. Um? Could you also buy me
as Angria? Money's a little tight right now because I
totally I've got this. I've I've got to paint drop.
(12:37):
Oh yeah, so I used to too, but oh was
that recent? Yeah? It's it's like just your basic run
of the mill downsizing where boss calls you to the
office and he says, uh, we're letting you go because
you stole a palate of printers, you know, downsize that
(12:59):
kind thing that happened. That could be a red flag,
but I'm gonna ignoring. I'm gonna ignore him. I found
some footage of the incident in question. Bryant my office
right now. Yeah, you want to explain to eat by
your van is filled with epsom printers. Yeah, Sheila told
me that the company was doing a printer sweep steaks printers,
(13:24):
sweepast the sweepstakes, yea, and everybody gets at everybody pallet printers.
Both of you should be ashamed of yourself. What Brian,
you're fired for stealing a pallet of printers. You're your numbers,
your number of last quarter. You're you're fine, but but
(13:47):
but really, can we can we stop trying to convince
the gullibol to steal stupid? It was really yeah, it'll
last time. Okay, no more, probably, Okay, thank you. I
(14:10):
think across your other friends. On the other hand, got
me take your shoes off. Okay, Really that's a serious
You already ruined Brian's life. I know he's stupid, but
(14:34):
still you can't go around convincing the stupid people that
work here to steal. It's not I mean, it might
be fun for you, but it's not fun for that.
But it's not fun. Three right, all right, I'm gonna
let you get back to work, I promise days later.
(14:58):
Yes I can't, but I did it again. They did
it again, didn't that? Yeah, I'm looking at the security.
Don't give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire you.
You literally came in here and did the exact same
thing that I asked you not to do. That's the reason.
Because you want the job. Job, You're gonna have to
(15:20):
give me a better reason. Please, I can't say a
little scamp. All right, really this is the last. If
it happens again, the authorities might be called. They might
(15:41):
all right, okay here moments later, Yeah, why did Okay? Okay,
you know what. Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to go out there and I want
you to promise me you're going to keep convincing people
(16:02):
to steal things. That's what I want. Okay, So you
would go out there, you do do a real bad
job out there. You convince everyone to steal things. Okay,
it's not any fun. I was holding that. I was
holding that you would go back into the into the
warehouse and you would not convince everyone there's steal things,
(16:24):
and then I wouldn't have to talk to you again
about that. Yeah, I didn't understand. There was a little
convoluted like from brain to mouth. I could tell that
you and the listener we're going to hard. I wounderstanding
what I was doing. I've gotten there, ye, jailer, is
that my watching goddam coming up back? To the first
(16:53):
word from our esteemed sponsors, stay with us to interview.
That's welcome this week's guest contributor to Katie Marovich. Katie, welcome, Hi,
thanks for having me, Thanks for being here. So how
(17:15):
long have you been listening to the show? Um? About
a day? Try again? How long? Longer? Long? Yeah? Since
the beginning? Right, Oh, I've been listening since episode one.
So you're a die hard I'm a die hard fan.
Do you remember what happened in that first episode? Yeah?
I remember the theme was trust in episode one? And um,
(17:38):
what was your favorite scene from that episode? I'm curious,
probably the second scene. What happened to that? Um? Sorry
somebody was Yeah, I was like a brief moment and
but no, I definitely we actually we actually have that
(17:58):
scene in the archives. Can I would love to hear
it and just kind of remind myself what let's hear
that these ah, excuse me, excuse becuse me. I'm the
one's coughing and not, like you know what, agree to disagree.
(18:20):
I'm the one who's coughing more. Okay, I would say
that you're coughing a little bit louder than I'm coughing.
But that doesn't mean that I'm not coughing. The scale
of one to ten, one being me being the one
who's being the coffing coughing man, and then ten being
me mostly a bunch of coughing, I'd probably say I'm
(18:40):
a ten, I'm a t No, no, I'd say you're
like a negative negative, Okay, I've of coughing. Well, okay, look,
this isn't a competition, but if it was, I would
be victorious and I would be hoisting the trophy over
my head that is filled with coughs. Okay, anyway, so
(19:05):
what was that I still had a little bit of
cough did you? Yeah? Actually I still had a little
bit of calls really, because your eyes weren't really squinty
like one does you were pretending No, no, no, no,
look listen, look, listen, look yeah, look say it. I
didn't come here to be questioned about my dedication to
(19:28):
the craft of coughing. All right, interesting, now, look both
adults here. I think it would be best if we
just moved on accepted the fact the reality that I
was the one who coughed the most and the best.
(19:48):
And first, Yeah, that was a really good I loved
that episode. Really good? Was I the guess it sounded
like me right? You know what? I think it might
have been. I think it might have been. Yeah, that's
so funny. That makes sense why you would have listened
since day one, because you obviously listened to my episode. Yeah,
(20:10):
like like a quarterback watching the game film, you would
have gone back first studied it to see. I've been
in a couple episodes though, have you? Yeah? What what other?
That one about um about outer space? The outer space
episode Space Extravagance, so that we have a Space Extravagance. Yeah,
I think that was years ago. That was more than
(20:31):
years I was about a decade ago. That mistaken producer
Andy had the episode in the archives he usually does,
So let's play it. Space is beautiful. It's very fast.
We've got first space, beautiful space. I'm so sorry what
(21:05):
I thought it was off book of book. I'm not.
You're not awful Space Extravaganza. This is a musical. You
knew that. I'm real sorry, you're throwing me off. I'm
really sorry. Can we go back to one? You know?
I don't know? No, come on, you can trust me.
I'm not going to let you down like I did
(21:26):
at the NASA. Yeah, when we made when we pitched,
we pitched the musical to musical to NASA. I'm not
going to do it, okay, okay, okay, okay, but you
better go to write this space. It is beautiful, space, beautiful,
(21:46):
and it's it's beauty and it's in its plan. It's
in the space. It's No. I didn't forget you're making
us look like no, no, no, no, no, no no.
I was so I got choked up because a song
(22:08):
that we've been working on for weeks, it's really it's
just such a beautiful song you wrote about space. Yeah,
it is beautiful and I did write it, and you're
ruining it. That was an intense episode and that scene. Yeah,
that's what one us the Webby Webby Award. I can't
believe we got a Webby I know they give it
Webbies for podcasts, right, yeah, because we got one so well,
(22:31):
I mean we of course I'm a part of that.
I think we were the lifetime achievement. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
So Katie, tell us about yourself. What do you do.
I'm a comedian and writer actor, very unique out here
and not a lot of people doing that in Los Angeles.
But yeah, and I've been out here for about eight years,
(22:51):
nine years doing that and you moved here from Chicago,
so sad of Chicago? Really? Yeah? But do you decide
to pack up and move to Los Angeles? Well, I
knew that I wanted to be a writer. I thought
I was going to be a journalist and kind of
fell into comedy. I was lucky because as a child,
(23:13):
my parents would bring me to like Second City. I oh,
and I was like really seeing some great groups early on,
like Kokani Social Clubs improvised Shakespeare, like some of the
best improvisers, and that definitely had a big impact. And yeah,
so I just I honestly like used comedy as a
little kid to avoid getting made fun of, like a
(23:36):
defense mechanism, and it worked out. You know, we actually
have in the archives, we have you going to that
first improv show at Second City when you were a child.
That's why did you know that we have that? That's
so we're you have that you would have Alright, Gaty
for your seventh birthday party, we're taking you do improv sho. Now, look,
(24:00):
hopefully this is gonna be appropriate for little child years.
I'm so excited. Hope you will be Yeah. Now, let
me explain to you how this works. Okay, you go in,
they ask you for a for a word or a phrase.
Sometimes they ask for a location that can fit inside
this room that is contrived and the UM I don't
(24:21):
like that. I'm not a fan of that because it's
basically like you're you're building the scene for him. Yeah,
so they asked for a word, You'll yell out a word, okay,
everybody where where, laffy taffy. Can we get a one
word suggestion? Please? Dad? I got to give the word Dad.
I gave the words could we We usually don't do this,
(24:45):
but if we could, uh, we could get a different
suggestion please? Hello christ And I gave the word again.
You know, I'm gonna ask for an unprecedented third suggestion
if we could just uh dick and towards freaking. It
was a very special moment. That was a good memory.
(25:06):
It was nice to hear your formative years. What was
your first job out here in l A. I was
an intern at College Humor. Well, like I said, I
just wanted to be a writer. But then someone mentioned, like,
you have to do improv classes. So I started taking
improv classes at the UCV as you do. And UM,
(25:26):
I don't know. I really fell in love with performing
and so um, I think they kind of noticed those
a little weird little funny at college humor, and they
started letting me sit in on the writer's room and um,
I get to like act and write and eventually became
a like a full time cast member writer. So I
did that for a long time. We actually have you
sitting in on the writer's meetings when they let you
(25:52):
come in and and sit in. Wow. Um, so let's
let's hear that that's a new as well. Alright, everybody,
we'd like to, uh, can we get a nice warm
welcome for uh, for Katie, she's uh, you here and
she is going to uh she's she's you know, sorry
(26:13):
doing it doing a show. She's going to pitch some
stuff to us. Okay, go pitch okay. Um wow. Um.
So it's it's like a guy and um he goes
into work and he realizes he he has two peers
(26:33):
of underwear on um instead of the usual one, and
um uh once hey, everybody, enjoy your just hang back,
take take five, sit on your monster energy drinks and
whatever the hell do you college? You guys, I'm gonna
(26:54):
talk to Kati. Katie. What are you doing? I'm pitching.
I'm funny. That's a pit two pairs underwear, I mean,
because usually you wear one parent. I understand what unders
in the game, but but why why why? That's the
kind of that's the kind of revolutionary mind blowing comedy
you bring into the tape. I mean, just trust me,
(27:15):
this is this, This sketch is gonna go over. Really, Katie.
I'm gonna let you pitch one more time, okay, And
depending on how this next pitch goes, maybe I'll let
you pitch the third time. Okay, but peace, do not
embarrass me in front of my I'm going to kill it. Okay.
I told you I'm good at that. All right, all right, everybody,
(27:36):
let's sip of those M E D drink. You know what,
Thank you? Thank you? Going to college for this? Yeah,
I did for I did comedy for this, really, yes,
I did comedy. I didn't think people I did. I did. Okay,
(27:56):
Katie's got another pitch, everybody, all right, come on, wow,
what's let's do? Okay? Um, so this one is an
autobiographical Okay, al right, guys, come listen. Up and Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, listen, Jeff,
will you shut the funk up for one? Listen? Thank you? Anyway,
it's about a girl um and she's all um. She
(28:26):
realized she has low blood sugar and she just full
on fame and then that's where it ends. Uh yeah, yeah, Katie, Sam,
I told you you'd love it and did that? Did
(28:48):
give me a little bit? Yeah? Anybody else, anybody else
have anything they want to add to this? Yeah, Jeff,
here have a question for the newbe Why exactly do
do say? Can you shut up for once? The first
day here? How do you know all the time? Looking?
How do you know that? How do you know that?
(29:09):
I like talking all the time because people when they're
trying to talk, how do you know it? What about me? Jeff?
You're stow? That was? That was a rough first day
just saying I think about that really tossed in the
deep end too. Yeah, they did, because they don't don't
(29:30):
normally do that. I have the assistant. They didn't. They
don't just say like, hey, of pitches, that was? What
are you working on these days? Now? I'm making a
bunch of short films. I just made my third one
last month and um just writing a ton really, that's it.
Anything to plug? No, I don't have anything to plug.
(29:54):
I mean you can follow me on things, and then
I'll talk about things that I have to plug. Let's
wear the It is um at Katie Mirovich on Twitter
and Instagram, and I'm also on tik stock and it's
the worst garbage ever. Know it is, um So don't
follow that one, but it is. You know, I'm on there.
(30:15):
We actually have we actually have one of your most
viewed TikTok in our archives. So do we have to
watch it? As as the producer of the show, it's
my job you have delve into the life of the
guests beforehand. Actually pulled it up. Okay, Okay, So this
(30:36):
first dance move, it's a lot of um, just kind
of like silly arms. I would call it. Have waffle
iron in one hand, baffle in one hand, uh and
an eggo waffle in the other hand. So that's already
already made. It's already made. I didn't need that. Yeah,
well it's a dance. Yes, I'm doing just very silly arms.
(30:57):
Akay at this point. Now I'm just doing some interesting gyrations.
Explained the hat to me. The hat, well, the hat
isn't so much a hat as a flower pot, but
it's I'm wearing it as a hat. Is that like?
Is that like the new one? No, it's not. Um,
I'd say that my comedy is hard, and that's kind
(31:20):
of what I'm doing here. Why are the clean xboxes underfeed? Well,
that's because I that's exactly why. Yeah. So when I'm
at home, I like to put the xboxes on. Um,
and I obviously shot this at home, so that's why
that's happening. Oh and look it's the fifteen seconds are up.
It's only fifteen seconds. Yeah, that's pretty good, thank you.
(31:40):
I um, yeah, I love to dance. Yeah, yeah, and
you know what, I think that I think the listener
is in for a treat. Whenever they checked the rest
of the TikTok though, for sure and yeah again at
Katie Marvich Um, incredible dances, Katie Marovitch, thank you so
much for joining us this week. Thank you for having
me coming up at three. The first the word from
(32:02):
our sponsors who make this high quality program possible. Stay
with us at three. The team members were hired to
tet apart since they wore their hair in a bodytail?
(32:25):
Could I help you find anything you look for? Anything
in particular, like a certain resolution, or like certain size,
or like um sort thinking, I'm sorry, was I talking
to you just like two minutes ago? Or was I
talking to I don't think so, Garrett, Garrett. Sorry, I
(32:50):
was talking to it Michael right here. Here's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go back in
the back. I'm gonna check and see if we have
any sixty inches that aren't the floor modd okay, because
you have fingerprints all over with people like to walk
up and touch screen TV. Stupid, just stupid. Yeah, I
(33:11):
want to go check it back right back, Garrett, Garrett, Garrett,
got it. Somebody helping you. Garrett Garrett's helping you know,
I'm sorry, I thought you were Garrett. No, no, no,
I'm what's your name? I'm Blair, Yeah, I'm sorry. Is
Garrett helping you? Yeah, Garrett was helping me. But I
thought looking for then Michael was helping You're looking for
(33:34):
Michael was hope? Was Garrett helping you or was Michael
helping you? Okay, So I think what happened is Michael
was helping me, and then Michael went in the back
to go look for TV's and Garrett started helping me.
Garrot one in the back to go look at TV's
and no, I'm talking to Blair. Seems well anyway, I'm
hoping you're okay. I'm okay. I hope they're okay. When
did they go back there? Maybe like two minutes ago
(33:57):
for Garrett and maybe like five minutes ago for Mike.
I want to check on them, okay, okay, I can,
I can. I I just want to say, somebody helping
you out, Blair. Blair's helping you out? Are you player?
Who is Timoth? Timoth? Yeah? I haven't seen Blair in
a long time. Well, Blair, I think was just out
(34:21):
here and I think we were talking. What do you
look like? Um? He looked literally exactly like you? Is it?
Quadruplet situation? Blair was about Garrett Garrett okay. So here's
what happened was I was talking to him, Michael okay,
and then Michael he went in the back to look
for my sixty five in TV and then whoa, whoa, whoa.
We went to the back. I assume you have some
(34:42):
sort of warehouse back there. We can look for the
TVs that don't have the We were talking about the
smudge prints on the on the television when people walk
up to the floor models, and why did they touch this?
I have no idea. What the stupid, stupid, idiot, idiot boy. Okay,
so you're trying to tell me that they went to
the quote back, either Garrett or Michael, who said I'll
(35:05):
go to the back to look for a sixty five
in Okay, So I'm not sure. I'm sorry. What is
literally shaking himth Timothy Timoth, I'm sorry, literally shaking here.
I think I got to tell you something. Yeah, what happened?
The back burned down five years ago. They didn't rebuild. No, really,
(35:26):
nobody goes to the back. Nobody's supposed to go to
the back, okay, by I had to imagine there's something
back there. No, nothing's back there. We were told in
the team meeting this morning, okay, not you ever go
in the back, just like we're told every morning. And
(35:48):
they hired four new guys, Garrett, Michael, Blair Blair, and
then you, Timoth. There's another there's another four. We haven't met.
Brian's over. We haven't met him he's a interest somewhere.
He might have gone to the back me Timmoth, I
guess I'm not quite understanding why you're so it's not
(36:09):
like the black hole. No, you want to go investigate? Yeah, honestly,
I'm unapproved to you that it's not a black hole. Brian. Yeah,
I'm gonna take this customer to hell swears, and I
want to tell him that we're going. Yeah, I got
that investigate. We were told the meeting this morning, going back. Right,
(36:32):
let's go check it out. Okay, I'm not scared at all, truly, No,
because I don't. Let's just go back. Okay, this has
got to be here, right, timmyth Yeah, what are you
doing here? Uh? We're going to the back, coming to
look for you. Blair yeah, Garrett yeah, Michael Yeah, we
were all just coming to the back to check on
(36:54):
the TVs. Why. Yeah, I would like my sixty five.
The problem you didn't hear in the meeting they say
not to ever go in the back because of a portal. Yeah.
I trusted boss when he told us ever going to
feel like I shouldn't be here anymore. No, hang back, hangback.
You should you have to be here for it. Just
seems like you're having a bit of a moment and
(37:16):
I don't want to approaches manager to talk about it. Yo.
What yeah, Greg, can you do a little three six? Yeah?
You're noticing my party? It's coming in the top knock. Yeah,
I love it. Yeah, it looks good. It looks like
what it looks like, A like a pony's sale. That's
(37:39):
what I said. You know what, I gotta tell you.
You're not gonna believe this. I'm just now realizing that's
why they call it a pony literally right down now,
like just in this second, I realized that's why they
call it. That looks like a tailed it. Yeah, what's
going on? How are you back here? How come you
told me earlier that we couldn't go to the room, dude,
(38:03):
and I wasn't. Joe. You said that it burned down, Yeah,
that it happened. Well, why did you say that, Joe?
You're worried. I got to come on, we're the best part.
We have to have a back. Well that's what I
thought when you told it to me. And then and
then this woman is looking for TVs and um, yeah,
(38:24):
I'm sorry, Should I leave? You know, you gotta be
shouldn't be here. You know, you have to be here. Okay,
it just seems like you're having but you're but but
if I'm talking about you, you're included in the in
the conversation that I want you to be here, because
I don't think it's right to talk about somebody behind
someone's pony. Yes, did you notice I put my hair
(38:45):
in a pony pail? And I really appreciate that. Yeah,
I was feeling like I wasn't fitting in. And do
you have any previous experience? Um in uh, because we're
short staffed, Because do you have any prior experience with
I'm actually currently a children's surgeon and I'm just on
my lunch break. But you know what, I only have
(39:07):
a couple of surgeries this afternoon and I could I
could probably swing it. You want to work here? Yeah,
you know I do. Well, we'll chet chat after we
straighten out this. Okay, okay, I'll just stand right here. Okay, cool. Anyway,
why did you say that shit about the back room?
Like I said, I was joking, like, it's not really
(39:29):
my fault if you took that seriously, like that's on you. Yeah, Okay,
well I guess that this shame on me. Yeah. Luck
later I checked down footage from the Children's Surgery Clinics
operating table. So anyway, Um, this is actually going to
(39:50):
be my last surgeon job. But you're supposed to scrub
in for our sergeant job tomorrow morning, right, I know,
And I'm going to skip that surgeon's job. Excuse me?
Who else is going to do the surgeon's job if
you don't do the surgeon job tomorrow. There's a twenty
eight year old who is expecting canney transplant tomorrow. Are
you You're just I'm just supposed to tell well, it's
(40:14):
not really a children. How do you know what his intellect?
That's a very good point. That's your point. I would
argue that a twenty eight year old is a children
and a twenty nine year old can be your children. Yeah,
and I'm not done listing numbers. I'm sorry. I was
just gonna say I'm a fifty four children and I um, okay,
(40:37):
I'm I'm just I'm listening. That's is that my I've
been told in the past that I have a bad
like listening. Yes, I will say it looks like a scowl.
You look quite angry at Okay, I'm not it made me.
I'm not. I'm not angry with you about that. I'm
angry with you that you're just leaving the surgery place
with surgery. Got a better job, Okay, I'm gonna be
(40:58):
working at the best Buy breast bar. Yes, some place
doesn't even have a back room. They have something back
that they don't Why do people know? I went there
and I was looking for TVs. Yes, I was looking
for a big sixty furniture TV. And I went in
there and I was like, do you have anything that
doesn't have smudgles all over it? Because a lot of
(41:22):
what I don't get it. I don't really People are
so used to like phones and touching, touching, touching, they
think everything is a touch screen. You know what, I
was driving here? I saw somebody client. You know those
electronic billboards that they have that that like the they're
they're they're they're electronic. Yes, all right, So I was
(41:46):
climbing up the billboard. They had climbed up there and
they were touching the billboard like it was a test crate.
Went why why why? So anyway you're going, are you're
leaving us? Yes? So I can't make the cergein surgeons
stop tomorrow year old. Okay, well, I'll try to break
(42:10):
it to him gently. Yes, we're going to miss you.
This child's chest is open, so I should probably get
to it right. Yeah, I gotta tell you, am I
off the record here, there's no record. I'm not really
feeling super confident that the donor kidney donor tomorrow is
(42:31):
going to show up because I think that I think
that he might be onto the fact that kind of
a black market operation here. So is it that guy?
I think his name was Brian, Brian. He seemed real
dumb to me, super dumb. Something tells me that he's
(42:52):
gonna wise up and not come in for the surgery.
So I say, there spitballing here. Yeah, I say that
we leave this kid's cavity open. Okay, let's see how
nights here goes. If it wanted, we got an extra kiddy,
I mean, you got a kidney. It's just kind of
(43:15):
let's just kind of doctor. Yes, I know exactly what
you're saying. Do you all right? Are you sure? I'm
saying we showed it in to finish operating on this
child here? Oh, we can have his kidney maybe? Oh no, no, no, yes,
I got that. I got that. I got that. No,
I did get that. Yes, all right, I also will
(43:39):
miss you. Yeah. The day passed and it was time
for the surgery. Ryan, you did show up. Oh no, no, no,
that's fine. Um do you want mine anyway? Just because
I'm here, my girlfriend broke up with me. I don't
really have any reason to live. Oh well you can
still live with just want to hear kidneys? Yeah, so
(44:01):
that's not going to kill you. It's not No, that's
not going to kill you, you know what. I just Um,
I have shoot this fast because I have to go
to my new job at best A. Yeah. I just
stopped in quickly. You know. They don't even have a
back room there. No, they do. That's a The guy
who sold me the car with a broken window that
(44:21):
he had to that he had to hot wire. Um,
he sold it to me for five hundred thousand dollars,
he told me, because I bought it from from the
parking lot at the best Buy. The guy told me
that he they didn't have back room with well anyway, Um,
I don't work here, he was lying. And I don't
(44:43):
work here anymore. I'm like I said, just gathering my
box and I've got to all I shouldn't really be here. Well,
thank you for the producer Andy and I especially guest
Katy Merrilitch. I'm you know, sorry. And this was this
American laugh during the Next Time
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