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October 4, 2021 50 mins

This week’s theme: “Discursive.” A father and son try to bond through art, a couple takes a gamble on love, and a velvety-voiced family faces new challenges in the workplace and at home.   

Special Guest Contributor John Milhiser is a wildly talented actor and writer. Formerly a featured player on “Saturday Night Live,” you may have also seen him in 2016’s “Ghostbusters,” the hit series “Adam Ruins Everything,” and can now be seen on Nickelodeon’s “Drama Club.” 

IG: @johnmilhiser

Twitter: @johnmilhiser

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Portions of This is Americans Live, The improvised documentary podcast,
are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors,
and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which
inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you
hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a
random sentence provided by our revered, omnipotent random sentence Generator.

(00:23):
For more This is Americans Live. Listened to more episodes
of This is Americans Live. I guess and now your
first random sentence. She looked at the masterpiece hanging in
the museum, but all as you can think of is
that her five year old could do better. Five year

(00:46):
old is very talented and a roue beyond the spectrum
of turkey fingerprint paintings and little quickly lines and are
doing some really good work. And then our gallery kim
A comin, sweetie, Look what Jeremy did? Look Look look
I'm you want to shop? I'll shop? Look Look what
he made? Look? Okay? What look dad? That's great? Yeah?

(01:11):
I love it. Can you play a little bit of
like sports or something or like maybe you know, Jeremy,
go play with your with your stem set for a second.
I want to touch your father, please. All right, you
have to be supportive of our son. Yeah, I know, honey,
I'm trying to be supportive, but it's it's not something
that I understand. But I don't know. You can't pigeonhole
him into something that you like specifically, right, you pigeon

(01:34):
him and doing stuff you like. I like it because
it's good. You know it's good because you got all
the galleries and you have all this like opinion about
paint and I don't know. Yeah, I go to the
galleries with our son because he is into our Jeremy
come back in here, settled this for us. I look
what I did. Yeah, it looks great. He didn't even
make eye contact with it. I'm looking at it. It It
looks make eye contact with the painting with the googly

(01:56):
eyes on it. Look at the googly eyes. Make eye
contact with the eyes. How does it make you feel trembling, sweetie?
It's making you feel something. Yeah, put it into words.
It's really good. Oh, there it is. Here's the father
right now. But what feelings are coming out? It was
clear that the father had some compartment and ized feelings
about all right, maybe he was a painter and didn't

(02:16):
really express himself because maybe he had a father that
was very much like in Sean. I don't have, but
I don't have I either dope that you're not a
good painter. Ye, look at this. This is a snowman. Listen,

(02:41):
he's got the buttons and sorry, I'm like you, guys,
I three putt at number eighteen. All right, So I'm
looking over your Chartum what I'm looking at? Do you
think my dad's gonna make it? Well, it's not looking good.
He's not gonna make it artist. I'm not talking. I'm
not even talking about his health. I'm slaying you're that
snowman is not looking good painted this. I'm surprised you

(03:03):
knew it was a snow man. Well, I thought it
was a fat out point on man. Well, the only
thing that gave it away was that real carrots taped
to a piece of white paper. Who did did this? Child?
Don't don't laugh too hard at that door, this whole
child so oddly young man? Uh, I have a set.

(03:29):
I have some bad news for you. Your father just
died just now when he was laughing at your terrible art.
And then he grew up abandoning his passion, his eye
when they be a painter. And then you know that
he passed on that and his little boy. That sounds terrible.
Your father's dying words were laughter at you over your
snow meal. You know that if it wasn't for the

(03:50):
stupid host said it, I would love nothing more and
to paint with you on some some Sunday afternoon together outside.
Why didn't you let a little army teach you how
to paint? I mean, I'm not that guy anymore, or
not look at me. You know what, I'm gonna go
out to town. I'm gonna go out a town on
the girls. You happen to me now you're short, silly?

(04:14):
Yeah you did, dude, macromay those yourself. Yeah, I didn't
know what it was called macroma. But yeah, I'm making shorts.
Not great anyway, Mom, where are you going? I'm going
for a girl's weekend to make a Kansas because that's
where it's Charley's us from The left him alone at
the house his father, With that he could briefly connect

(04:36):
with his son and his artistic sensibilities, but realizing that
again he was just completely alienated by his own family,
His own tribe Brothers Clic had Paint Cackle a whole album.

(04:57):
They were gone. That's just the audience. The the montage
that's over. What you guys are doing is trying to
be good. What he was doing? Who usually wrote the
song fin and ten? Who is it? Are you asking
me the producer? Yeah? This is I was asking the people, Um,
that was actually Trent Derek's and he, uh, he wrote
he wrote it. Yeah, he he's a different one. It's

(05:19):
it's this one is called my Dogs did but everything's fine. Yeah,
it's it's track four. Actually, okay, I welcome this morning
to walk and he wasn't moving at all, but the
breeves were on TV. Everything is fine. Stopped it. Yeah,

(05:43):
it wasn't very good. I mean that's why it was
relegated to. I just didn't know what the song came
from him, and so I was asking, Yeah, it was
mostly used for montages, right, did you know? That is
my understeady. This is Jake and Jake. I feel like
he needs could be better radio voice like me. I mean,
put up my radio voice. Radio. He's maybe a voice

(06:07):
whosting understoody, learning how to talk, doing a shoe and
he's teach you know what kind of wos to do
Tuesdays on Fox. That's basically the show. Uh. There are
two guys. They're they're radio host people, ones an intern
and then ones that like established and we think they
we think it'll do really well. Well I have to say, alright, Dono.

(06:31):
Research says that it's gonna be a great show. Hey.
Pro tip in the middle of a pitch, don't interrupt
the pitch. Eh and I'm you're giving you my thoughts
on the pitch. I'm so sorry, all right, thank you. Anyway,
I was gonna say, so you look like you're gonna
interruppy again, I wasn't. Okay, I don't any want water

(06:54):
around the pitching brain lighted, crane lighted. This is this
is Americans Life. I'm your Lit Story with producer Andy
Special guest contributor for this episode is John Meliser. In

(07:18):
our show, we're using our trustee sensor generator to bring
you a story in three improvised acts. This week's theme discursive. Yeah,
what are my producers looking at my face? The word
discursive That means one idea. It doesn't really flow into
the next night as it. Sometimes we think of something
and then all of a sudden, we're on a tangent

(07:39):
and just going off into another world discursive, thinking, well,
why wouldn't the same be tangents because I make up
the themes and you don't. So do your fucking job,
all right, so tell you this, pay with us all fun.

(08:01):
He ran out of money, so he had to stop
playing poker. You've been playing poker his whole life. Something
he just instinctively knew how to do poker face, lying
with his facial features. And then one day he ran
out of money and like a car running out of gas,
and I will raise you one wedding ring. David. Yes,

(08:27):
I mean yes, no. I was just totally but nobody
didn't know. Was it two big tap shot poker players
on this poker competition. We're actually seeing each other behind
closed doors. Next thing they knew, he was raising his
bets into a full on marriage and having kids. I

(08:48):
accidentally gave her a wedding ring ill and blue. It
was actually my great grandmother's ring, her actually her dying words,
where don't ever let anybody have this. But there was
a miscommunication. She thought that I was opposing to her

(09:12):
um and then I was just kind of all in.
What was that? Like? What was it like what I
just said? Yeah, it was if we played it out
with it like I don't know. Why don't you go
back to exactly what I just did, and I'll raise
you our son, to be strong. Call hard, call, call call.

(09:34):
If anybody feels they want to raise an objection between
the union of these two players, please put your cash
in the pot now or forever hold your cash. I'm
all in with this. I think they are a great,
wonderful couple. I want to put in everything a girl
because I love her. Man, Jeff, it was six months ago,

(09:56):
doesn't matter smooth for me right now? You know what
he out? I can't cash out. I try to cash out,
but every time I do and just think of you.
Our relationship was a royal flash, but we were like
two pairs go fish, just trying to double down shot
Before any life altering decisions are made, why don't we

(10:18):
find out what the priest has? Is the river card?
What you're talking about? What did you say? Because that's
also poker terminal, That's exactly. And I don't know anything
about ways to um well. I have almost as little
knowledge as you do. But in in in Texas. Hold

(10:39):
him right, they deal the cards right right, and then
that's now the last card that they dealer puts down.
You see what everybody has that's go fish. Yeah, and
then they potic and he try to make it you
know up to twenty one. Yeah, as like does your
person have a red hair? That's guess who. That's what

(11:00):
you're talking about is Then you say you can't say
that beings in the context. Hey kids, ready, where brand
new game? Where the whole family? Introducing no cut cut
cut cut? Hey what we're not allowed to say say that?
In the in the commercial where didn't you get the

(11:20):
vision in the game? You didn't get the revision? But
the new copy. Just take a look at that. Take
it take from the top. Okay, hey kids, looking for
a brand new game that's fun for the whole family.
Introducing no, no, no, you're you're just you're saying the
same thing. You're just putting the accent on the wrong
You're saying it a different way. I don't know, accidents,
I don't know. Didn't you get the second revision? No,

(11:42):
the second red that's the first time, that's the first Okay,
hey three, hey kids, are you ready for a brand
new game that the whole family is gonna love introducing God,
she's no, I'm the line above the K, right, the
line above the K. That's the accident. Did you did
you get the third revision? Did you get the third one?
Though you don't have one? If the third one is

(12:04):
the one that I'm that that that I'm looking at
that the wrong ones a plank. Alright, alright, here's here's
twenty seven here, just taking come on, we only have
the studio for twenty minutes. Well, then you should have
given me the very latest revision. Well we should have
booked studio times. I mean, that's also another good question.
Everybody made mistakes. Okay, everybody made mistakes, But the biggest
mistake is you not reading the private revision because I

(12:27):
wasn't given the right revision. I'm just gonna eighteen minutes
take four? Hey, kids, ready for it? Brand you game
that the whole family is gonna love so so much,
introducing Yeah, that's it, all right, it's wrap, Hey, sixteen
minutes early. It was a very simultorious relationship between the

(12:48):
studio and other actors. It was always very very embedded.
Al Right, guys, here we go. We gotta knockout four spots.
We only have the studio booked for eight minutes. Got
it all right? Here we go. Losing a loved one
is never easy, But luckily there's deaf. Now did you

(13:09):
get revision number forty seven? I put it on top
of the bookshelf. There's the stuff stool. I put that
back because I'm short. Well, it's just because it's a
high bookshelf. That's just where I put the revisions. That's
where the revision boxes, and that's where I put them.
That's I've been doing that for twenty years. Where's the stool?
Where is that here? Oh? Thank you? All right, get

(13:31):
up there, grab the revision number for thank you? Why
do you even put it up there? Put it down
here when I can have it and look at it
when I'm supposed to take two? All right, They got
the studio for six more minutes. Okay. Losing a loved
one is real shitty. It sucks so much, so bad.
Why they really changed it up in these later revisions? Well,
you know what you're in luck because now there is

(13:53):
a place that you can go to that has helped
with who wrote these revisions? He's here. I've never seen
him before. Mr car Right, I did expect you to
show up to the studio. I don't want to hearing
more excuses from you. I have ten funeral homes across
the county. I need this campaign done, all right, Mr
car Right. Yeah, I'm Joel. I'm an intern here. I

(14:14):
really shouldn't be doing this, but I'm just like I
seized the moment. I'm a fan of all your funeral homes.
I've had so many family members passed and I just
want to say that every time I always say go
to Mr Cartwright's funeral home because they have the most
respect and fun funerals and all of Pasadena and I
just want to say thank you for all your hard work.
And I can't wait till somebody else dies. Look, we

(14:36):
don't want people to die, but if they do, we
would love you to bring your loved ones to Cartwright.
There it is. That was great, Jeff. I'm sorry you've
been replaced. What do you mean I've been Can you
do a job for car Ride Funeral Homes Home? Yeah?
This sucks. I'm out of here, But why don't you

(14:58):
tell you all that I went to studio I was
gonna read something about car rapping rules, and I got
the revision forty seven vision. So I went to the
revision one seven eight and doing it all the way
down of Force Saven, and I found out it wasn't
even the right woman. Mus A car right, the guy
who's a funeral pom again it came and they just
did my old joba. Let me see if I get
this tracky cat right? The guy who owes the greatest

(15:19):
funeral home but all passing? You actually got to meet him?
Did he get an autograph for the kids? Okay, we're
all wrong, sun, Let me go ahead and go to
the kid. Dad. What's going on? I'm just at home
doing some social studies, some math and some chemistry. Whomework.
How's that going? I have helicopters out of that. I

(15:41):
didn't keep doing it like you know. You kind of
stumbled over a few words today last time. Maybe that's
why you got fired by Mr al Right. Well, I
didn't go there doing a pop job. I was just
putting off the script. If I'm going off sometimes i'm gonna,
I'm gonna I'm gonna get stuck. He got stuck? Why
even this relationship? I don't know. It's kind of slow

(16:02):
and spaking relationships. Dad, you said if I get a
good grazing grade school that you'll get me a dog.
Well it's about that time. I don't know if you're
ready for that god responsibiling room. The fast time I
got your fish, when you got a vision, what happens?
Fish fish died? We got to you cat, you with
a cat you left side, And also I told you
it's gonna be it's a cat. Now the cat isn't
pounced our camp. Now the cat is pregnant and probably dying.

(16:25):
Losing a pet is never easy. Well, luckily there's Cartwright
Funeral Home for Pets serving the greater al Hambra area.
Card Right Funeral Home. You used to have a pet,
and you learned it so much. And the bannet he
jumped out of this fish bolt with farm Now that

(16:52):
was track five on his album of Really Good Jack.
All Right, it's a tough one. We that's gonna be
a lot from a lot of work, a lot of
work from me. Coming up back to the first the
word from our esteemed sponsors, stay with us, act to

(17:21):
the interview. A special Guys contributor is John Millizer. How
what are you today? Good? How are you you did.
I produence that quickly, John Millizer, Yeah, both correct. So
it tells you about yourself from I guess I grew
up in New Jersey. Nice all parts of New Jersey,
you know, than like you're from New Jersey. Yeah, I

(17:42):
get that. I have been told. I say, yeah a lot. Yeah,
I do it. And that's my most Jersey accident. I
think you miss anything from Jersey. No, I just got back,
so it's nice. I haven't been in two years, because
indulge me, rior. Do you leaving after a two year?
I eight? Is? Was there anything you made? I missed
the hogies. I missed the boardwalk. There's a board there's

(18:04):
a boardwalk. And I explained to me what a uh, well,
hogie is like a sub like subway, but HOGI um,
it's like very I guess Jersey and probably like Pennsylvania.
Term Um. Is there anything that makes it different? Yeah?
What's the same same thing? Yeah, it's a bad same

(18:24):
For some reason, we're calling it hoogie and I'm not
familiar with the term hero. Can you explain what that is?
It's like it's like a hog exactly. It's like a
hog yeahs or a sub like a sandwich. No, No,
he's a not sandwich, not even close. Do you know
what a hero is? It's like that, you know. Um,
I went to a very school, so I've had any

(18:46):
of these, probably had a hogie. They're totally not is
the sandwich right? If I've never had one of those,
that's saying right. I do very very um, very meticulous,
particulously made backers and then some short Do you have
any other questions for Ari? I'm sorry. Did you enjoy
your trip to New Jersey? Oh, I enjoyed my trip

(19:07):
so much. Yeah, rejuvenated me. I haven't seen some family
members in a while, and yeah, it was just nice.
Did you ever have any friends or family in the mafia.
In the mafia, well, the Coasta Nostra cosa, the Coasta
Nostra growing up in I grew up in Bergen County,
North Jersey and Prano's country. Yeah, I was too young

(19:27):
to know what was happening, but I was told that
some mob guy was arrested down the street like him
and his wife. Yeah, Oh that was pretty you know,
we actually have that, we have that in the archives,
that arrest this one. Are you alright? We do you
shut up? You are under arrest, under rest for what

(19:47):
don't you arrest? My sweethet? Look lady, what you under arrest?
Why did I freaking duty? You know I didn't do nothing, nobody.
Everybody knows I didn't do nothing. Nobody. I'd never doing
the same thing. What exactly is it? Do you think
that we are freaking doing over here? Where do I begin? Racketeer?

(20:09):
That's a very serious charge. I run a very respectable business.
I don't know what you think I do on a
normal day basis. Your business might be a lot of things,
very respectable. I make a very honest, good living living.
Yeah good, look at you? Look at your yard? Okay,
what about it? I got norms like everybody else. Listen,
your work knows in the yard. That's not a very

(20:30):
serious crime. But that's seriously that racketeering. That's a pretty
freaking serious crime. Didn't side Marie stay out? Is she didn't?
She needs to hear all this because she's coming down
to the prethinct. But what she didn't do? Nothing? She
got him? God say what you what you say? That
was what we did? That is what you think we did?

(20:50):
What I Loretta a k A. Marie did? What did
I marit get it side. I'm not going in stay out.
I feel like I should at least into the freaking cops,
but also I should listen to my freaking maid. Squeeze over.
I don't know what town between two people as you
and I were very much same guys. Well, we grew

(21:11):
up in the same neighborhood, down the street from each other.
You went one way, I went to the other. You
became a cop and became a respectable businessman. War what
you can do? And you got Loretta a Diguloretta? War?
All you gonna do? A body to arrest me because
I got the girl? Do you really wanted you? Go ahead? Boys?
You know what? I shoot boys, boys, fellas stays plenty

(21:34):
of me to go freaking around. Way. I want to
stay outside and break this up and also figure out
what what what, what proof do you have with the racketeering?
By the way, it's my freaking prerogative. Where right the way?
What I do with my You don't do you. I
don't tell her what to do. You do whatever she wants? Cool?

(21:55):
What is prerogative? Mean? What's Google? It's four? Sorry he's
nineteen eight four? Big brother? What is prerogative? Big blood?
I don't even look run over here goats. All right,
let's get back to the fucking breast text. He you're

(22:17):
just sucking jeous. I really think that he's going to
arrest you because he has some serious evidence about the racketeering.
I don't think it really has much to do with jealousy.
I mean, what do you have, You have tapes or something?
You got an informant? What do you have? You got nothing?
You got a garage full of tennis rackets? Yeah, and
who looks to play fucking tennis? Look at me, I'm
a fucking I'm Andrea x. Oh we ever do PC hampers? Also,

(22:38):
he's also it's you love mac Andro. Remember never toll
over over here, Billy jen King. Okay, okay, now we've
established his four go back to watch you watch your evidence.
Tennis rackets? Yeah, what are you gonna doing? All those
tennis rackets, all those stolen? What makes you think the stolen?
I like to buy things in bulk. I gotta talk

(23:00):
to the cop for a second real quick. Hey, honey, sugar,
hold on my second. I'm gonna talk to this cop alright,
I'm gonna try to set him straight. Hey, listen, why
you mentioning informants. You're gonna blow my coffee. I didn't
think you don't. I don't even think about telling him
that I tipped you guys off to the freaking tennis rackets.

(23:21):
I know you're doing a great job. You didn't you
playing undercover? Really? Well? What did you say? He? Did
you know about the tennis rackets. I'm the only person
who could have been freaking possibily, but you don't want to.
There's tennis rackets missing all around town, and they're all
in your garage. All right, people asking questions. I thought
that's what racketeering meant. Also, can you do me a
quick Also? Can you do me a quick favor? Can

(23:42):
you stop calling me by my code name Loretta and
call me Marie? Please? This freaking guy thinks that my
name is Marie and you call me Loretta right off
the bed. You're gonna blow my freaking cover. Please, all right,
let's do Oh my god, this hop just call ship. Yeah,

(24:05):
hold on, I gotta talk. That is freaking you call
me Loretta again. I'm pretty sure I didn know you
did the first words out of your mount after I
walked back from my baby here, my sweet cheeks, my
honey bunt, what's loretta? I just highly doubt that I
don't screw up a lot. I think the fans have
that in the allchives. Why don't we go back? All right? Yeah,

(24:26):
guys in the fan, can you play that back? The
one from it seconds ago? Wait, you want to do
me a favor and not call me? You just hit
it again? See? Can you do me another favor? Can
you not yell out? Hey, guys in the FBI truck,
can you run back? You gotta whisper it into yellapel.

(24:49):
Don't just willy nilly, freaking guys in the FBI truck,
can you check your gyves from ten seconds and go
to proton is freaking goats that he freaking said? Yeah,
you want to play a thank you? This is the
FBI playing tape number seven for years and voice just
want to have So that was that was the wrong tape.

(25:10):
Let me let me text forman get along and talking
about I like that song. That's really good and you
had the whole album. I like it? Do you want
to play another tracker? Phimissions that I husband didn't really
know what to make about this relationship between the cop
and his nudy with wife. It seemed little fishy, so

(25:34):
he had to go talk to his capos and his
his underbuss. What's your problem? I don't know, like there's
something going on between me, my my, my wife and
the you know, his cop with Marie. Marie would never
do nothing. I don't know. She would never would you
to come here to do a good permission from you
have to do something. I don't know what You're all right?
You know what? Can I talk to the other on

(25:55):
the boss? Please? Somebody's not gonna be starting all over
the words. You know my problem? So what should I do?
Do I do I take action? Or do I just
let it go? Do you love this woman? You know
that I love it? But you know I almost got
pinched over these fucking these tennis racket, the tennis racket racket.
Somebody's feeding the cops information. I don't know who it is.

(26:17):
Are you accusing us? Wait? Exactly what do you do? Mind?
If you think they were rats? No, you think I'm
red you out in your racket? Right? I'm whenever? Why
would we would just be showing no own cells in
the foots. I don't know what I'm saying this there
might be some like you know, the informance, you know,

(26:37):
would give me a second. I'm gonna talk. I think
my wife's an informant. This one's wanna get in. We
would never do something like that. I'm gonna confer with
the on the boys here for a second to school
over there for a second. By o'clock, I think that
he's on the effected the redder. It's an informant, it
does be. And you because we are also informants over here.

(26:58):
How do you like the clock? It's pretty nice, huh,
especially made from the from Johnny Clarks. I don't know
what the first thing that good? You came up with that?
Because Johnny clocks a place, I would assume that he
that's his nickname because he makes clocks. I don't know.
I don't know. I really don't know. Want to get

(27:19):
the Johnny Clocks says the clocks. What Johnny Clocks got
out of the clock business, he did he does pools now.
I didn't get the binder the defense gave us to
get us up the speed with the the smoke is.
Don't us in the community. Nobody tell me the meeting.
I'm sorry, like you know, interrupt the very important, you know,
on the boss meeting, can I get like some kind
of direction or maybe like get more rackets. Yeah, you

(27:42):
need to get more rackets, and Damni deep in his
racket rackets. Definitely, don't kill Marie. Do not kill Marie.
She's a decorated woman, civilian. She's wire tapped. I mean,
she is good cook, she is an FBI age. She's

(28:04):
a teacher. She teacher kid how to make that Cheni polonaise?
That's what are you even Italian? What are you talking about? Blogne?
But what you see I'm saying that a cheeny. It
was clear that everybody in the family he was an
infloyment except for Joe. It was a purist throwing up

(28:27):
and it's amazing about being a made man. Only when
he got there. You know that part of the lifestyle
was being an infloyment and everybody was doing it but him.
I feel like, you know, I don't know, I'm not
understood by everybody. You know, some of the songs different.
It's not the same I think you're talking about. It's
just not the same clear Italian, I know, but you know,
it's like it feels like maybe it's a different generation.

(28:48):
Maybe it's different part of Italy. Maybe it's part of definitely,
he guys from I don't know, I don't know what
you laughing so much? That sounds like a very a
very tough particamentarian. You know what, I'm going to confer
with my fellow Italian quin quin National and now we're
going to going to discuss it. I think that is
onto the fact that we are informers work. We've filtrated

(29:09):
out of these Yes, thank you, thanks for a farm,
and don't be a favorite cut, you're not, You're that's
allowed one? And whisper what do you do? What? It's
the way I speak? Is that what I was like
when the when the guy got arrested. Yeah, it was
all over town, all over the papers everything, every guy
that was doing interview. Uh, yeah, that's what it was

(29:34):
A nice So that's what you do on your your comedian, comedian, actor, writer,
teacher since the pandemic started doing some zoom character classes
and stuff of everything that you do would gives your
most satisfaction performing? Yes, yeah, right now we're kind of
in a performing stale meat right. Do you do shows

(29:56):
at friends? I've tried a few stand up shows and
I they weren't fun to do. But I do like
shooting videos, you know, and then posting them wherever, just
to get some comedy out there. And you're currently on
a show. You play a teacher. Yes, I play a
drama teacher on the show Drama Club on Nickelodeon. I

(30:18):
thought it was very funny. Can you tell us to
do about it? Sure? It's um a show Nickelodeon called
Drama Club about the middle school drama club and just
you know that you got the jock, you got the
influencer girl, you got the real drama rama kid. And
they all just like a mismatch group of kids that
are trying to put on a production of Minnesota the Musical,

(30:43):
and it's just they get into hi Jrinks And it's
created by Matti Whitby and Monica Share. Oh, it's like
The Office. It's a mockumentary, but for like a middle school. Yeah,
they took it's like baking with well they talked to
the confessionals. Yeah yeah yeah, uh pop watch like I've

(31:05):
been to say by the Bell maybe that guy time
out Zack. Yes, And you just talk to the audience
and you feel like you was getting a window into
his life. Yeah like that, I remember that. Were you
in dramma but when you were younger? Yes, I was
in all the My middle school was inside the high school,
so in seventh grade I was in like the music Man,

(31:29):
but I was always playing the townsperson. And then um,
it wasn't until like senior year that I got Marcus
likes and a funny thing having the way the form.
But like, yeah, I was never given good roles. I
was always extra. We actually have the your your production
of the Music Man. Yeah, we have the audition for
that and you play it. Yeah. Oh the Wells Fargo

(31:53):
Wagon is coming down the street. Oh please let it
be for me? Thank you? John. So um, you do
this every time you wait around. You need to let us,
you know, deliberate. Well, you know that's happened before, and

(32:16):
and you're on every play you audition get. Yeah I
think so yeah, I do have a quick note. I
take great notes. Yeah, I love notes. I would love
your feedback. Just a slight problem with your with your selection. Um,
the audition was actually for the song we got in
trouble my friends, right here, right here in River City City.

(32:38):
I exactly did you not choose the time I wanted
to like stand out, like I wanted to like go
against the green. I wanted you know you we probably
were getting sick of that song, right, shake your head, Yes,
you're getting sick of that. We just part the part
that you're auditioning for sings that song. Yeah, so that's
why it's important for you to sing the song, because
you'll be doing that in the place if we gave

(32:59):
you the part. Do you understand now, Look, I appreciate
your zealousness. That a word? Is that a word zealousness?
A word zealousness z E A l O U n
E s s zealousness. Well, can you look up zealousness?
Please go zealous if the word indeed? All right, good,

(33:19):
we got that settled. I don't want to punish you
for really singing your heart out. So I'm going to
give you the role of that bush. I was gonna
say tree bush is more appropriate. Yeah, so you got
the crouch. I didn't even know there was a bush
in this script. Let me just find that we created
the part just we couldn't let you go without having

(33:40):
you know, Yeah, I just I felt like you wanted
what he said. Well, the Wells Fargo Wagon actually can.
Actually we came up with an original song for the
Bush goes like did you get yeah? Do you want
to try that? Sure time? So the very front part

(34:04):
that you start with, I don't need that. So you
don't need that, don't need it. Just go right to
the me me me me me you you you you you.
You know, why don't we give him the role of
Bush number two? Because that one doesn't have a mouth.
Was your first part, that's your first part. Very you

(34:28):
just kept through, do whatever you need to get. I
wanted that Bush part, and you know I got it.
Two questions to have first one after you probably the
most successful actor out of your group of people that
you into drama Drama club with. Right do you do you?
I mean, do you like think? Like what those guys

(34:49):
We're not giving me the parts that I want. I
was on the biggest show on the earth, and I'm
on another show. It's pretty great because I they do
like that show. Actually, yeah, well, I kept in touch
with my drama teacher who never gave me any of
the parts. Mrs Hanchen. We used to call our hands
on gin, you know, to get at her um. But

(35:10):
I kind of just kept in touch with her over
the years, and then when I was on SNL, I
was like, hey, my mom reached out to her. She's like, Johnsontown,
do you want him to speak to your drama club.
So they had me come in and speak to the
current drama club in my old high school. And then
nobody knew about the show I was on. And then
nobody knew any of the celebrities I brought up, and

(35:32):
nobody was interested, and it was a big I feel
like failure. They didn't care what nobody knew. What nobody knew,
what SLA We just watch the tape. Yeah, I brought
the tape class. I am proud to Please don't call
me miss hands on chin. Guys, be nice. I am proud.

(35:55):
I thought that if I proactively he said it and
wouldn't do it? All right, who's doing who? I'm just okay,
let's get through it. I'm proudly. I'm proud to welcome
former student John millhis Am I pronouncing that correctly? Yes? John? Yeah?

(36:17):
Robert down No, John Millheiser, Joe iron Man or were
you in? Oh no, I was not an iron Man.
You're thinking tell them what you're doing now, America? No, no, no, No,
I am not in those that Marvel movie. No, I'm
on a fun show called Saturday Night Live. Come on,

(36:41):
Oh when is it on? It's on Saturdays in the mornings. No, no, no,
no at night. And you know I could have gotten there,
you know, if it wasn't for miss hands on hands
almost did it all? Do this thing? I hate? I
hate it with you. I have a question, Yes, Garrett,

(37:05):
have you ever met Robert Downey Jr? Are you asking
me or you asking him him? Oh? Well, you said
you had a question. You were looking at me. I
call on you, I know, but I had I had
a question for him. Oh have you member Robert down
his junior Garrett wasn't Garrett? No, I haven't, but I
I can't imagine him hosting at some point. Who do

(37:28):
you play sports? Garrett? Stop disrupting? No, I don't play sports.
Any questions about sketch comedy? Is that where you do
like a dance with the song and then and then
you make everybody else and everybody else do the same.
It's like an improv exercise. Any other questions for John? Please?
Not a lot of kids in a your drama club anymore,

(37:48):
Miss Hanston, some like you kind of called me miss
hands on shin again. I thought you know I would
never you just kind of breathe through it and you
thought I wouldn't catch it. But it is okay, you're sorry.
I'm volunteering to be here, so let's not get into
it a little. Okay, how we won't, don't do it? Garrett,
what do you want to be when you grew up?
I want to have a lot of money, and then
I want to be able to invest in technology, and

(38:12):
then I want to build a suit made of metal.
I'd care you're cut off. I have a question, and
I want to quit. I want to be able to
fly when I want to shoot beams of stuff out
of my hands in my chest. It's a big fan
of Iron Man, Iron a Man. I have a question, John,
I have a question. What was then able to show

(38:33):
your on account? Wasn't what you thought it would be? No,
I thought they were going to ask for autographs or photos.
They didn't. They interesting life. Do you have any fun
memories of Yeah, there's lots of fun memories. I remember
I did a sketch with Lady Gaga, and right before

(38:55):
our sketch, right before the camera went live, I leaned
over to her and I was like, I'm a little
month her and She's like, I had no idea, and
I was like, yeah, I didn't want to like seem
like a super fan. But that's like one of many
things after that. Did she demond with? I thought, so, yeah, yeah,
I think she still remembers me. I hope. So are

(39:16):
there any guests the hosts that were taller than you
realized when you sat in person, taller than me than
you realize you'd realized, Charlie, they're on she still? Oh yeah.
I met Jeff Goldblum once. He was very tall, yeah,
Tim Robbin, Tim Robinson, Tim Robbins, uh, Susan Surrandon's X. Yes, yes,
very tall, he seems tall. I met Shaquille O'Neil once.

(39:39):
He's pretty tall, is he? You know? Also? You know
to getting Sean Bradley. I met him once. He's a
tall guy. I met him one time. He's taller than
you would think these people who professionally tall. So I
don't know if you cut that professionally tall. Yes, being
tall is not a job. Yes it is. Are you
talking about all right? Leap out leap? What out? Ari is?

(40:00):
Anything you want to talk about something you're working on
now that you want to leg pump do this. I'm
trying to learn new craze plump. I'll try to pump something.
I just I did pump. Plump works too, I'm gonna
plump has a Drama Club and I just remembered my
first question and then stop asking. You know, we want

(40:23):
to move move on and stuff. Uh, he's getting very impatient. Uh,
I'm talking to both of you guys. Uh. In the
show Drama Club and you were in Drama Club when
you were younger? Do you feel that there's some parallels
between the character tropes if you will, you feel like
because obviously the new version of the class the show

(40:46):
has like a influencer. You know that clearly what didn't
exist when we were young. I think cross generations. I
think Drama Club has always remained like the same, the
same heart and soul as it always has been. Like
you go into the auditor are hum and you kind
of like disappear from the rest of the school, right,
and Uh, it's still yeah, just the fun to play
and get weird with other artsy fartsy people who can't

(41:10):
play sports, all right, jem Elisia thank you so much
for coming coming up at three. But first the word
from our sponsors who make this high quality program possible.
Stay with us at three. And it was a red

(41:30):
flag warning at the beach. You grab your surfboard. He
had a pension for facing danger and made it was
a really good surfer. You always went to the way
that nobody wanted because everybody was afraid they gets swallowed. Kyle, Kyle,
what are you doing? No, there's there's a red flag
out there. Get back in here. This is when you

(41:50):
catch it. No, yeah, no, this is when you can
touch heaven. Dude, what you just can't do that? Dude,
you're gonna die. Roll. Touching heaven is not good. Yeah,
touching home means you pretty much down. That means you're
in heaven and dead. Did I'm gonna ride the wave.
The red flag can't hurt me. I'm not scared around flags.
But oh no, I got tripped out with the red flag.

(42:13):
The red flag is not the danger. The red flag
is the warning of the danger that's put out these
red fags. And all of a sudden, everyone's like, fact,
it's the red fag. Let's get out of here. And
I'm like Guys, I've dealted with red flags before. Have
you heard of America? That's the flags red in it? Dude, Yeah,

(42:33):
you're totally getting the reason why the red flags are.
You're in there to begin with, You're just you're not
even getting your Dude, I didn't know. I was in school.
I thought this was the beach and it was summer. Kyle,
what why are you anchering towards the water? You're taking
steps back towards the water. Just because you're doing a
little time baby steps doesn't mean that we're not going
to notice that you're going towards the water. Do you

(42:53):
remember what happened last time? There was a red flag
warning and you went out and we told you don't
do it. You almost died. And then where I'm finished
wanting you what happened? Yeah? And then Brodie saved me. Yeah,
And Brodie died trying to save you. He caught the grind.
The grind killed him. Do you ignored the red flag?

(43:16):
Brodie chased you, he saved you, and then the undertowe
brought a bag out into the water and he died.
He's still out there, he's still catching it. It's been
eight weeks. It wicks, Kyle, your toes on the water.
You think that just because you're not fooling his Kyle? Whatever?
Can you have me my board? Kyle, I'm not going

(43:36):
to hand you're in your board. We don't want you
to go into the water. His fans are really worried
about him. No matter what, no matter all the concerns
that they throw his away. He just wanted to get
in that water. The bigger the red flag, the more
desire he had to do it. So his friends put
together an intervention. They intentionally put up some red flags
on the beach and they waited for him. Look at
all his red flags. You have seen that in that

(44:00):
beach chair over there. What are you guys doing? You
put the red flags because we knew you'd come. This
is if you guys don't mind, I'd like to read
my letter first. Go ahead, Kyle. Sit down. Kyle, stop
going toward the flags. Are got real Your toe is
pointed towards the watch. Stops zipping out up your wet suit.

(44:21):
Stop it. Sit sit down, I can't sit my wat
sit squat next to the sand castle. We're doing this.
Stand behind the chair, but have the chair in between
you and the water. I'm gonna take chair, put it him. No, no,
don't put the chair in the waters. The water, the water.

(44:42):
Just read your letter, Rudy, Kyle. Your need to chase
after to you can't read paper? Got wet, all right?
Kyle Mahalla, Kyle Mahala, I didn't put your last name
on here. Kyle Mahallo. Thank you. Your need to ignore

(45:03):
red flags is affecting me in the following ways. One
not cool, it's cool. I have forty seven revisions to
this and the next one. We know the way to
a different visions that Kyle, Yeah, Kyle ma hollow. Hey,
are you tired of not making me happy? Well, now

(45:25):
here's the way that you can make me happy, introducing
not going into the water even though there's red flags there.
But how does it work? I'll tell you you don't
chase over the red flags. This is one of the
later revisions. Who changed to copy a little bit? Look,
just don't go on water, dude. Can you hang back
one second. I want to talk to our bro here
for say, hey, you guys talk, you guys talk, Hey,

(45:47):
why was your didn't really put a lot of heart
into that letter? Just trying to do it I'm not
going to say everyone eat somebody gaping there the a
shi in put them back. Okay, Kyle, God, you're gonna
be okay, Kyle, true it Nik killed another surfare Well, Rudy.

(46:20):
If you're looking for red flags, come on down to
the red flag stands here, sand beach, Sand Beach. All right,
let's do it at a take of that. I'm not
doing another take. Yeah, that was great. We got a
great job to a We're a five one team. We're
profession What you do we do we do. We sell
Flasny color. We changed the copy. You can't. We can't

(46:42):
say red flag. So if you could just grab revision
number two, please, uh just go go with that. I
don't even know why we do this anymore. I'm tired
of these commercials. You know, we can make so much
money to narrating your book. We can make so much
money narrating book, narrating player, narrating a movie, all kinds
of movies and plays and books. Why more morning, And
there's not even revisions all the different books. That's the

(47:02):
one book I understand. There's a lot of different possibilities
of my dad and I can tell anything. We can
scale scooter, bikecyttle car. We only had the studio, looked, Yeah,
we only have we have less than a mi Okay, yes,
I get wheels, caunts. You can sell them at farms

(47:23):
and farms and farms and guys, we got it. We
got it? Did I just? Dad? Like I lost it? Dad?
What happened to your voice? Alright? Sorry, I'm so late
you guys. Triple bogie number eighteen. And I conferred with
my fellow surgeons. And it doesn't sound good. It doesn't

(47:43):
sound good, as in it's bad. I mean, his voice
doesn't sound good. Have you heard this guy's voice? It sucks.
It's so bad. Isn't terrible? Your voice as good as
my son? To say that. I'm just telling you the truth.
I don't think you should go on the radio. I'm

(48:04):
gonna die in tonight. My dear's bad. I'm following the pattern,
you piece of ship. I know, I know. Laugh it's funny.
I think that might be. I don't know. Try something else, Dad,
don't worry else. You care of Mom. But I'm sorry, Sun,
your father's dead. Sorry I'm late. My flight from Topeka

(48:24):
was like, how's your father? Is he? Okay? Mom? He okay?
Well you see, okay, he's dad mob okay, okay, side
of his vice. I'm getting fine with it. So you
want to go do some painting something. I guess I
could be a painter, young man choosing couriers. Switch. It's

(48:46):
gonna be but over actor. Now he's gonna try to
paint pictures. We gotta do a different take of that.
We can't say pictures, so we're gonna have to do it.
Just read the extreme vision. We'll play the pictures part.
I wrote it really small at the top right. Let
me make it as the first half. In the second

(49:07):
half on the botto left corner, I see, oh yeah, um,
So here we go. Take two. We have the studio
for twenty more seconds. Good boy changing his career choice
was gonna be. But I thought, I said, we couldn't
say painter, and you jump the gun because the pictures
wearing the same painting. Read the other revision revision three.

(49:27):
It's on the it's on the roof of the building.
Where's the where's my where's the ladder? It's under the stool.
It's not you know, because they need to get it
something high. That ladder does not belong to you? Is
it at your home or is it the ladder? It's
the letter at that which house you're talking about? What
the ladder? I'm supposed to believe you have this many houses?

(49:47):
Are we? I've been doing this for a long time.
I get a lot of raises and like you alright.
Revision a young boy he just lost his father. Until
now he thought he was gonna be here was overactive,
but instead he and his mother decided it would be

(50:08):
best for him if he was a get chartists. We
ran out of time in the studio anyway. Let's just
take it if you think I got it. Chartists are
the studio and the record with popcorn commercials that we
gotta get out of here. Weduce you any you know,
especially his contributor John min I do and you know
sorry And this was This is Americans Live. Next time.

(50:31):
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