September 20, 2021 • 35 mins
This week’s theme: “Partnership.” An outdoorsman copes with a curse, a man’s banana pancakes change his life, and two old men in a bait shop let their loneliness get the best of them.
Special Guest Contributor Scott Palmason is an actor, singer, improviser and comedian. You may recognize him from ‘Scrubs,’ ‘The Tonight Show,’ and several Second City stage musicals. He can be seen in the long-running sci-fi improv show “The Improvised Generation” currently running at Outside In Theatre.
IG: @scottpalmason
Twitter: @scottpalmason
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Portions of This Is Americans Live, The improvised documentary podcast,
are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors,
and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which
inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you
hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a
random sentence provided by our revered omnipotent random sentence Generator.
(00:23):
For more of This is Americans Live, listen to more
episodes of This is Americans Live. I guess and now
your first random sentence. You to walk down the Slot
canyon oblivious to the sound of thunder in the distance.
They don't really care. They just kept walking towards it.
(00:45):
Maybe they were running from something, maybe they were going
to something, but the thunder was loud and very obvious.
I don't care. I just want to be with you.
I don't care how dangerous it looks. I just want
to be here for you. Greg. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,
And do you have to go through this checklist? We're
going into this canyon? Okay, alright, alright, you're grabbing me.
(01:08):
I just have to go because I want to pay
with you. Kendra, I get it, Yes, I get it,
but we're going into this canyon and I don't care
how dangerous. We have a safety checklist, ok okay, okay,
we gotta go through it, fly through them quickly because
I can't stress enough. I want to be okay. Alright, alright, okay,
truck up on the side of the truck, said ranger.
(01:29):
The guy comes out clearly used the ranger. I don't
care if he plans to arrest us for stresspassing. I
just want to be with you. What are you guys
doing out here? Oh? No, hey, it's exploring. What you
know there's a thunderstorm? Or did you hear that noise?
Are you guys? Are you are? It's me, It's it's
it's me. It's Jack Anderson. Yeah, the Explorer. I'm Jack Anderson,
(01:50):
the Explorer. I wait, from the TV show You're Not jacking? Yeah?
From Jackson show me some I d Jonathan Holy shit. Yeah,
I love your show man man. Yeah, we're you just
look different. You got a beard on or something or
it like you did, just look different. I didn't reconnize. Yeah,
you know, I've been growing the beard out and mean,
my my best girl. We're gonna We're gonna go down
(02:11):
into the canyon, no matter how dangerous it is. He man, Yeah,
I've watched your show. I know what you can and
can't do. You do whatever you need to do. Man,
you go out there, just so if anybody, any of
the rangers asks you, don't tell them. I said that
you can go up there. All right, Terence, I see
your name Terence, Terence, but there's a Terrance to who
also works here. Just make sure you don't. It's with
the name mind the Knee. You know my show. You
(02:33):
know what we're gonna be. We're just gonna be looking
to see what the earliest like you know, cave drawings are.
How early was you talk and humanized? That's what we're
gonna do. Believe this. We're gonna go check out. Man.
You know you know my game. It's all about human
Nobody's gonna believe you. Man, Okay, it's not you. That's
when he lost his girlfriend to the thunderstorm. The lightning
(02:54):
came straight down and write her from the top of
her head down to the tip of her dead. No, Kendra, Kendra, Kendra,
all right, I'm so sorry. Whoa we're happening over here.
(03:19):
By the way, Torrance, how did you guys got here?
We drove me here. I who told you you could
come down here? I just go, man, that's just my thing.
I go places I don't I don't get permission. I
just And now it's killed someone, Terence. So you want
to tell me why there was a couple down by
the canyon in the middle of a thunderstorm. Wait what,
(03:40):
I didn't see any couple there. I don't lie to me, Terence.
I'm not lying to you. You honestly think if I
would have seen somebody like Jack and Ship. Hold on,
that was Jacket. Yeah, that was Jack Anderson. You saw
him to him and his lady. Well his lady is dead,
but that was Jacket. What she That was him from
the show? Yeah, from the show. He has a beard.
(04:00):
Jack Anderson ended up having to bury the girl that
he had aided for a brief amount of time, and
he was a guest on a few different talk shows.
Everybody couldn't help but ask him about what happened to
his lady partner, rather than when his new show is
going to come out. So I'm so excited that you're here.
Thank you for having me. And um, I know that
(04:21):
the producers have been wanting to teach on the show
for a long time, really long time. Big fan. That's
our producer, that's Jeff, big fan. Are you doing? Thanks
for being a Thank you for being so great that
I would want to be a fan. So you got
a new show coming out? Do you want to tell
us a little bit about it? It's happened to the girl? Well,
(04:41):
it was clear we who were gonna go back to
the Kender story. There was the gods, you know, the
did you murder hair? No, I didn't know. She was
a lovely girl. It just a range of you talk
took her away much too quickly. But if we could
talk about my show adventure is now well we'll get
to that. Let me ask you a question. Before Candrew,
you dated another girl. Do you remember a girl named Gina? Well,
(05:04):
guess what, Gina remembers you too. Gina, come on out here,
it's me. You remember me? Do you remember me? None
of this? And then I'm back. You thought I was
never gonna be back, but now I'm big. Jana came
out from behind the studio audience or wherever these guests
usually come from. She had a white streak of hair,
that ran through her dark black hair, and all of
(05:26):
her melanin was split down the middle. It's hard to explain,
but basically she looked like she had been struck by
lightning directly on the top of her head. And this
was the aftermath. I was not briefed on this our interview.
You brought another one of your horrors to the canyon
and got them struck by line into Look at that, sister,
(05:47):
It's I'm cursed. Okay, everyone at home. Every woman that
I've ever loved has been struck by lining. It's how
do you want to hear you in the camera? You want?
You want to know that? Of course, years went by
because Jack Amerson lost this show. He was down and
out and he was still looking for love, so he
decided to check out the most new dating app to
(06:11):
see what he could find. Bro, have you seen this one?
This is the most new dating app. Have you seen
it called? It's called I'm Scared of Lightning App? Every
single every single check on this app. She's scared of lightning,
so she will go out of her way to avoid
lightning at all costs. So I saw it. Light barkeep
(06:34):
barkeep light for me, my friend? How do I click down. Okay,
look at her, Look at her. How scared she seemed
to be of lightning. I just figured this was your
your kind of thing, you know, because so many of
your girls died from from lightning, so you want to
avoid it. At that point, they both decided to go
out or a cigarette break. Jack didn't smoke, but his
(06:57):
partner Bart was a big smoker. Hey, Brosanna, is there
a storm coming. I'm gonna go check it. I'm gonna
go investigate. When people come, win me, be careful. It's
expanded to my friends. No. That's when Jack realized that
(07:18):
is cursed and only select the ones that he loved romantically,
but also he loved in general, his friends, his lovers.
He didn't know it was next you boys recording all this.
He gotta go here. You you were Mr Host and
you and you have do you audio? Guy? You're gonna
go You're gonna get killed. Get away from this bargain.
(07:39):
I'm sure it's fine. Can I get you do it
my check real quick quick? Go one. Luckily I did
all my audio after the fact, so I wasn't even
close to them when they were outside in the storm.
(08:00):
This is this is American's Live I'm Your Host, Sorry
with producer Andy. Our special guest contributor for this episode
is Scott Palmerston. In our show, we will be using
our Trustee Sentence Generator to bring you a story in
three improvised acts. This week's theme, partnership, could range from
anything from friendship to romantic relationships to even your family
(08:22):
partnerships the whole spectrum. Stay with us Act one. His
ultimate dream fantasy consisted of being content and sleeping eight
hours in a row, also to wake up to banana
(08:43):
pancakes every other day. He had these very childish fantasies,
ones that he never let go of, even from childhood
and his adulthood. He wanted to be treated like he
was a kid on vacation. Is That's the thing I
don't get about Ben. He's you know, he's he's successful.
He's what you're You're a hedge fund manager. And here's
the thing, like I just been missing you know, yeah,
(09:06):
I just don't meet that. I just I've just really
tapped into that, which makes me young Adam, you know,
young Adam. That's head. I just want to be able
to enjoy and take care of the kid inside who
just wants to have fruit loops. Who just wants to
play Mega Man three over and over again. I don't
think there's anything wrong with that. You have a hard
time focusing on your adult responsibilities when you have these
(09:29):
childish wants. I respect for your coming from. I don't
think they're childish wants. I think it's who I am. Ultimately, Yeah,
I live in a house with other people, don't pay
a lot of rents. We also made sure not to
give him any responsibility, all right. You know, we knew
we wouldn't be able to handle him because his eyes. Yeah,
Mega manitry the other plan and having kids. He has
(09:50):
three kids. The state took the kids away. Yeah, I
have three. I have three kids. Yeah, child Protective Services
took those kids away. There, that's right, you know, like
like everybody has just kind of agreed that he not
to have any responsibility. But just which is fine, Okay,
Well if we look at we don't look at Richard
dreyfuss In. You know, Mr Holland's opus no in close encounters.
(10:12):
He gets called to something greater and nobody calls him
a dead beat dad. He leaves his family and he
he goes back to the us. I'm just going back
to the mud. I've never I've never seen that movie
because some of us just don't have time to sit
and watch movies all there. You know. I just say,
this is what all my college friends are like. They
come into town and they you know, they like, we're
not gonna give him any responsibility at the reunion, and
(10:33):
you don't have to. I mean, but I'm gonna go
to the reunion. We're all gonna enjoy ourselves. And how
are you going to get there? I'm gonna figure it out.
How are you going to get to the reunion? Get
his license suspended? Richard Dry He was walking up and
down the freeway with a backpack and a devil bag
filled with clothes. He had every intention of making it
to the reunion, but no idea how to get there.
(10:55):
And he was three thousand five miles away. Oh oh,
probably gone with that guy. I don't know how much
out are you gonna get out here? Guys, it's just,
you know, it's just it's just me kind of walking
my path and kind of being out here. It's really, uh,
you know, there's not much to this. It's just living
with the inner child who I didn't listen to for
(11:16):
a very long time. That's why I started a family.
That's why I went into banking, and it didn't do
well with it because you know, I wasn't Adam Adam?
Is that you? Derek Schopinski? All right? What are you
doing out here in the middle of nowhere? I watch
I'm headed to the reunion. Man was his best friend
from high school and seen him in over ten years
(11:38):
or whenever the reunion time span between that, and they
just picked up right where they left up. I haven't
seen you years and class ninety nine when we graduated together.
That's crazy. Have you been up to you? You were
always a real go getter. I'm sure you went none
to do great things. I mean, yes, yes I did.
Do you end up having any kids? I had? Yeah?
(12:00):
Ware where that? Why don't you bring him? Well? There
they live with their mom. Now, I oh that they
moved out to Colorado? Actually, oh yeah, and I'm here.
I actually live in Venice. I'm not. I'm not too
far from the hotel where they're doing the reunion. Okay, okay,
you must have some high power job out here, and
that's why that's why your family had to move to
the Colorado. Is that is that what you're doing? It's
(12:21):
cold out here, man, Do you want to get in
so warm up a little bit? Sure? You have a
question for you? Yeah? Have you seen Mr Holland's Opus, No, Close, counter,
close Encounters and the Third Kind? Have you seen them? Yeah?
The Richard Drivers movie My Store is gonna make a
lot more sense. When don't we get in there and
let's get let's get to get all right, Okay, They
started making their way to the high school reunion. He
didn't want to tell the truth that he actually hit
(12:43):
checked his way all the way from Colorado, all the
way back to Venett's, California, where he had all started,
and he's tried to explain the concept or at the
story of those encounters? Are the third kind? Too? His
best friend, but kept thinking it was what about Bob
so the aliens? I don't I don't get when when
did the alien and starts psychoanalyzing Bill Murray? No, No,
billmers out in this one. It's um, it's a Richard Dreyfless.
(13:06):
It's a yeah, it's a Steven Spielberg movie. I don't
think Spielberg did. What about bomb? I gotta tell you
just between the kids and between work, I just haven't
had much time to watch many movies. Oh man is
At that moment, he realized he also didn't have any
place to stay. His plan when he arrived to the
Union was to kind of camp out near the beach.
But now that he ran into his best friend, he
figured you'd ask him for a place to cratch. All right, guys,
(13:29):
it's good to see Aliah. I'm gonna I'm gonna head
home to the fam. Alright, Hey, Adam, you keep in touch. Alright,
uh quick? Yeah, yeah, what's up? You know you're talking
about talking about that garage out back that you're you
guys are gonna turn into an airbnb, Like, yeah, yeah,
I mean do you need to help about that? I'm
good with the hammer. I mean, would it be art if?
I don't know. Uh, we got so much disposable income
(13:52):
that we we we just hired people to do that stuff.
But but hey, anytime you want to pay the a
night to h to stay in it, you're you're welcome
to come come hang out. Man, it was really good
to see. I'm gonna, I'm gonna head out now, I'm
gonna I'm gonna go. Um, why Why are you standing
between me and the door man with there's something something
you need? You're pressing kind of hard on my chest? Man?
(14:13):
What what? What he are you trying to? Hey, hey, hey,
are you trying to seduce me for some sort of
a monetary favor? That's currency on the streets. Adam, Are
you sure everything's going okay with you? I got that's
my tongue. Yeah, and that's my that's my tongue. Stop? Stop, Adam?
What's going on with you? Many now talk to me.
(14:35):
Adam had no choice, but let's bill the beans. In
this particular case, he actually had a bag of beans
in his pocket that build out when he sat down.
But then he did confess about what was going on
in his life, about how he lost his kids and
how he was kind of living in the streets in
a way. And yeah, it's not great. And I I
kind of wake up most days thinking, like Megan, like
have I made the redding, you know, decision? And and
(14:58):
and like I have screwed up so much? But but
but maybe it's good. Maybe it's good to listen to
your inner child and try to trust it. But but
I I don't live anywhere and I trade low for favors,
and uh, Derek, I'm just kind of in a way.
I'm just kind of in a way. All right, Well,
I guess if you want, you can you can come
(15:20):
stay in the I mean the airbnb isn't isn't finished yet,
but you can come hang out tonight until you get
on your feet. But I mean we gotta hurry though,
before this bean stains sets in pants. He took him
up on his offer and moved into the house, started
rebuilding the out house and or whatever back house it
was into an Airbnb, and he started making his own
banana pancakes for himself. But the banana pancakes started catching on.
(15:44):
Everybody wanted to bite. Good morning, Honey, good morning, Good morning, Adam,
good morning. So what's your breakfast pancakes? Adam was just leaving. Yeah,
I just wanted to say thank you. I I got
the lease for a little venice. Oh, I got it
something at the Dorosey Dorothy. Hi. We saw that you
(16:09):
guys have this place up for rent on on Airbnb.
We just decided we wanted to forego that, maybe avoid
some of the fees. I heard you guys have some
banana pancakes that come with the room. Yes, our house guests,
he makes them, don't you. We would like to book
for a week. Is that possible, Well, it's already booked
because Adam staying here. But you know what, honey, what
you head out and make make some extra room for
(16:30):
these guests here? Not leaving my own house. Well, I
gotta make these pancakes. So I got a brook and
mortar for these pancakes opening up in Venice. I got
this place. I mean, things are looking pretty good for me.
Now Adam makes pancakes. What do you bring to the table? Honey? Wait? Wait?
Why why don't have to leave my own house? Adam?
You come in here, breathe into town, you make my
family pancakes, and now I have to leave my own house.
(16:54):
My kids are gonna be here. I have figured everything
out and they'll be here in a little bit. And
I don't want that kind of kidding a tune in
my house? Dad? What's going on? Bryce? This is your
new home. What are you surprise about? Bro? You don't
know his kid was fucking twenty one years old. It's up.
I should have never stopped to pick you up at him.
My whole life isn't shambles now because of you. Adam.
(17:14):
There there, Rice, don't cry, I'm not crying. You've upset
my boy. I'm just happy for you. Dad. You found
a new place, a new home, this is my place,
and a new wife and a new house. I'm gonna
meet your new wife. Yeah, this is Cassie. This is Cassie.
You mean your wife in a few weeks maybe, dude, Yeah,
great job. Totally forgive me for abandoning us. I asked
you to wait until after he left to write the
(17:37):
news to him we're gonna marry, But I get excited.
I get Oh. Look, I'm just following my bliss right now.
You know, goddamn had'm beant taking over his whole life,
his wife, his kids, even his job that he had,
and then he quit the job for him and then
went into banana pancakes full time. Boss. Don't worry that
these reports are gonna be You're fine anyway. Why why
(17:58):
didn't you say you quit and and you send me
an email to say go forth myself? No, I would
never do that. Yeah you did. You're at it, kid.
Wait a minute, I smell banana pancakes. Yeah, so what
I like pancakes and sometimes of the banana variety. Boss,
you gotta listen. There's not much time. I didn't send
you that email. I did not quit. Oh yeah, there's
(18:21):
this guy at him. I went to school with him.
Oh come on, he took my family, he took my wife,
he took my airbnb, he took my house. The airbnb
is part of the house. Now he's taking this job
for me. How's he taking the job if he got
your fire? Dumb ship? Did out of here? Adam? Come
out here? Adam break Rome. He's not here. I don't
even know what the funk you're talking. I can smell
(18:42):
the banana pancakes. Look what I gotta got a pancake.
Gotta listen, pancake Adam. I hdmatized everybody in Derek's life,
his boss, his friends, his wife, his kids who we
actually haven't even met yet. But it doesn't matter. Adam
has everything or took it anything from Derek. What do
they stay friends? Who knows? Coming up? Back to the
(19:08):
first word from our esteemed sponsors, stay with us. Back
to the interview. Get to know our guest for this episode,
Scott Palmerson, So how long have you been listening to
(19:30):
the show I've been listening to it for a week.
Oh nice, big fan, so a long time listener. Yeah,
and uh, tell us what you do what? I'm an
actor and I'm a singer. Nice. And then I do
other stuff to kind of like I'll pay the bills
while I being an actor and not stuff. And then
uh friends with Andy uh and we uh who did
And he was like, you want to come do this stuff?
(19:52):
And I was like, yeah, it sounds great and he
was like, since I've been such a long time listener
and it's such a I'm such a big fan, and yes,
I want to be a part of it. I was
a fan of friend, now much more a part. Are
you a big fan of musicals? Yes? I got really
into musicals. What's your favorite one? Probably a Little Shop
of Horse. Have you ever thought about maybe turning your
own life into musical? I'm actually writing it right now.
(20:14):
It's a Little Shop of Horrors, the one um where
Rick Moranus turns his kids into tiny, tiny people they
turn in where they shrink tiny and then then and
then he has to find them because he's trying. And
then there's a sequel right where he has a friend
and they're a Canadian they drink out a beer. L
A story, yes, is no l A story is the
one where the man has two brains. No, that's wrong,
(20:38):
It's called animaniac. That's true. Um, you know the one
you're referencing is that he it's like a Sereno di
Bergiac whatever you ever pronounced that. It's like that. That's Ghostbusters.
You're right, I'm sorry. It is Ghostbusters, the new one
that came out yea with Brian Doyle Murray. Yes. Do
you remember the first time that you decided you wanted
to be? What was the first Do you want to
(20:58):
be an actor? Do you want to be singer? What
was the first thing you even wanted to be? And
if it was something else, you can go and tell us, like,
what was the very first thing you wanted to be
growing up? Probably singer? My grandfather was a kind of
I sent my professional opera singer saying with my dad
and so both of them. I mean, every I grew
up seeing my dad new shows every Christmas would be
like my grandfather would sing, my mom would play piano,
(21:21):
my dad would sing, and then my sister ended up singing.
But everyone in my family is like a high quality musician.
Or high level and did amazing things. So I was
singing first, but then I would just go to my
dad's shows over and over, and he was in like,
was it expected for you to have the pipes or
did you discover that you had them later on in life?
Kind of a bit of both. I love to draw,
(21:42):
and so I drew as a kid, like I learned.
I would study the like the covers of Disney VHS
and I would study the Simpsons and study the Ninja
journals in Garfield and everybody and I would learn how
to draw those things. And that was kind of like
I'm the drawer while everyone else just like singing. And
then at my eighth grade moving up ceremony, I was like,
I'm just sing imagine. I just knew I'll sing imagine,
(22:03):
And everyone in my class was like what. And I,
as a kid, you know, he was like, Oh, this
attension is good. And I knew that I kind of
wanted this thing, kind of wanted to discover it. So
at that point it was a little bit of huberty
and a little bit of I think I like this,
even though it was kind of being a little defiant,
little younger. Did your voice crack in the middle of
the song. Did you going to puberty? No? I never did.
I remember my voice getting deeper like when I became
(22:25):
a man. You know, we actually have some clips of
your childhood in a family full of opera singers in
our archives. Have you cleaned your room? Why cleaned this morning? Fall?
Don't talk back to me. I was not talking you.
I was Scott. Yes, all you have a phone call
(22:51):
from a girl. She wants to talk to you. She
is on the phone. She's just a friend. So just
just a friend. Fall. It was my name Cold. Hello.
Are you upset the fact that the girls and more
interested in your brother who didn't exist? Jesus Christ, I
(23:13):
mean a little bit. When I started to sing, it
was a point in my life when I would have
done anything to like get the attention of like the
opposite sex. Did it work, by the way, did what work?
It's singing? Definitely? Once I knew that, like because for
me as a kid, one way that I kind of
like flipped bullying was I'll draw something for you, right, yeah, Hey,
you the bully. What do you want do you want
(23:34):
to like Simpson? Do you want this? What do you want? Like?
And I'll draw it and I that's kind of how
I negotiated with kind of that as a kid, so
like he eventually turned it into singing like don't beat
me up, ling and singing for you. I think I
think that I realized if I was good at stuff,
that that could be a protective thing. And I think
that's something I discovered later. We actually have some of
that in the archives. Fun this. Yeah, where's your fucking money? Dude?
(23:58):
It's right here? It is is the monopoly on a skateboard?
Like at that. We're not fall for that this time, dude. No, man,
it looks pretty Chris, pretty badass. We talked about this
Christ and said that we're gonna get money this time.
People are fucking bullying. Yeah yeah, where's that? More money? Okay? Alright, alright, alright,
(24:19):
no more games, no more games, no more talents. We
just wanted money, dude, alright, tired of the drawings? Do
you want either of you to be cut in half?
Because I've also been practicing magic. I don't know, man,
getting cut in half? How about you, Dicky, Dicky? You
I'll cut dicken Hams. I don't know, you know, like magic? Dude? Alright,
sure we got off fine, here we go. Alright, get
into this cardboard box. Okay, I'm in and look this,
(24:43):
look this this, and now he's into to look that.
He's in two and now he's back together. He's fine,
he's fine. He's one body. But he was separated. You
know what, that was pretty great? You know, just just
get this half the money, then half to half the
money we agreed about. Get your hand off my how
my shirt does my Ninja turtles? Last thing? You guys
(25:04):
look like you love a good impression. Well yeah, what
if I would tell you guys have been working on
a Jack Nicholson impression and that'll be as good as money,
and it'll make your bellies life? Would you guys like that?
Who's that? I'd be willing to knock a few points
off the principle if you if you can knockout all right,
didn't go for it? I really okay with that? Alright?
Can My mom's gonna be here any second? Okay, he's
(25:26):
picking me up. I mean I gotta go. Okay, here
we go. You call that mom. There you go, that's
my Jack Nicholson. Pretty good? Pretty good? I mean you
get to still want my money? Any bullys in tonight
any bullis I'm a bully, alright? Uh knock knock, Yeah,
who's used there? Let me do it, dude, who's there?
(25:48):
Jack Nichols? Call back? Salad call back? Okay, good, Okay,
give us one tenth of the money that we agree
ever the year, alright, one tenth of them unless you
do a really good John c Riley. Who the fund
is that? Dude? I don't know who the funk that
(26:08):
isn't he didn't do it? Anyways? You want me to
go forward like, you know, like thirty years and uh
like into like a you know, like into Sermonox California
and I can do it. Yeah, do you want to
do that? Okay? Okay, okay, count with me? Three one? Yeah.
So I did a John c Riley impression for John
c Rale than you did about it. I had a
friend and I'll play with him and I went and
(26:29):
chatted with him and I just said, I just want
to really want to do this, and I just was bald.
I was like, because I'm right here. My my voice
is a little deeper, but I do I do have
a bit of that Ray Romano kind of the way
Jim Henson would talk. And Jim Henson was in interviews
and you know, uh so, but the closest for me
is John c Riley. So I'm right here, I have
a pretty harsh American accident back my throat, and then
(26:51):
John c Riley's right up here. He's just right there.
And then if I slow down, you know, but I
really have to slow down, I goes just you know
this it's a weird thing, you know, and it's so
it's right, it's really close, and it's a I think
it's the closest to my act work. So it happened
when you did the impression of John c Riley for
John c Riley. He was very nice about it. He goes,
(27:11):
he was like, I don't know what ione thinks that
sounding like that. I don't sounding like that, and he
was kind of like he humored me. He was very
sweet about it. And then we all went to the
bar and like he was just a gentleman. He's really nice.
You know. I think we have a voice matching auditions
for John c Riley and our archives. Alright, John c
Riley voice matching auditions first stop Ray Romano. I'm gonna record,
(27:35):
I'm gonna record, all right, John c Riley voice matching auditions.
Kermit the Frog is Crimit the frog here. Uh, we
just wait for the green light and then we're going
to cool. Yes, it's on go. I'm gonna recket caught
John c Riley voice matching audition, Scott Palmerson, I'm gonna record.
(27:57):
Holy sh it, that guy sounds just like John c Riley.
If only my producer can do an oppression of somebody
who can move a scene forward. Thank you for being
part of the show, Scott. Hope you having a good time.
This is great coming up at three. First, a word
from our sponsors who make this high quality program possible.
Stay with us. At three. The growth old man sat
(28:31):
in the back of the bait shop, grumbling to himself
as he scooped out a handful of worms. He had
been running the bait shop for many years in this
small town, but he started noticing that you, or and
fewer teenagers who were coming to visit his bait shop
at this lake. He wondered, why one day I'm gonna
get shop one s the world. He keeps saying that,
(28:57):
here we are. He keeps saying it, well, for this
list serves the year I'm going this year? Why do
you think you've had a hard time, you know, following
through with your plans? Well, because I mean be a
busy part of fishing season. I risking him trapped here,
starts out to say, you know, I've got these big
(29:17):
plans and then just get some busy. They keep saying
that he's always busy. Seems like there's you and fewer
teenagers showing up to the lake as opposed before when
that was pretty much you only clientele. So why do
you think you're still so busy? Maybe we are just
don't want to go. I'm just afraid it's settled in.
(29:41):
Maybe are just no deep down there was nothing out
there for me, and I've got her if arms. My
buddy Devin here names there should be a lot of
teenagers here, but there's not. Some teenager. I chuck full.
The teenager showed up. Oh man, what you get it here?
(30:02):
We got worms? Welcome in a long time. You got worms,
bro fruit what fishing? Fishing? Tell me more? Definitely breaks
up your collar. Come on, look, look, look alive. We
got teenager from here finally, and my tickers are going
the mom my hair. Look, my hand is shaking you too,
(30:24):
weirdest you link, you weirdo. What is fishing definite possible?
Look to these people don't know what fishing is. Have
to get on our fishing teaching. Perhaps put them on
a kid about fresh kids were being very disrespectful. Clearly
they went there to go fishing, but just to peruse
the lake. Be consumers of what nobody knew. The first
(30:48):
thing you can learn about fishing. Oh no, damn, let's
go from the town. Alright, alright, everyone from the town fish.
You should the worm border next one, dude, you due, Devin,
You did the hook and you throw it in the
ocean and you say, oh, I want to get a fish.
(31:09):
I want to get a fish from fish. Now all
the kids say, I want to fish. I want to fish.
I want to fish water fish. You want to fish?
Wish fresh straight fish. That's actually I'm sorry, any questions, Yeah,
(31:32):
what's fishing? What do we love it? Top? Okay, the
kid's never going to just do the concept. So they
just decided to produce the lake like they usually did, drinking,
making loud, obnoxious noises, getting naked, jumping in the lake,
basically doing what teenagers do. Love. That's my favorite noise,
(31:57):
make cube. But I just can't get that song out
of my head, you know, the one the guys were singing,
we should they firshould take They split in. I don't
want to fish. I want to fish. You want you know? Yeah? Yeah?
Like I mean, you know what it is. It's crush.
These natty lights have made out with Becky and I
just go I just want to fish, I know, I said,
(32:17):
and at the head of the canoe and masturbated, are
you serious? And I didn't even get the song out
of my head. I think I was there, commune, come
on you come on me onto the dock. Come on here,
I help you onto the dock. Let's come over you
if you go ahead, all right, walk with me. They
realized they were being followed by who they didn't know
they could just heal it. Did you hear that? You? Yeah?
(32:41):
What what if we're those guys? What if like we're then?
What if we grow up to beat them? Or what
if we are them? Now? What if we are there?
What if we are they? What if we are they?
What if we are they? What if maybe you know,
what if we are you know? What if we are
that that? What if we are that? I think it's
that I don't know, it's just the higher pitch one
like the one who was like a little more frail.
(33:02):
Who who? He looks alone like you, don't you think?
And yeah, and the other one looks like I don't know,
looks like my dad. It looks like me. He looks
like my uncle. I just would have in a way.
We're all kind of whales old men at the bait shot.
What is that noise? There's someone following us that blog.
They walked up to a wall of photos next to
(33:24):
the cabin. They started noticing all the old men were
different versions of them. All the photos look like different
versions of them, banning from the eighteen hundreds to present.
Ro Look at this guy, wo whoa, this guy looks
just just like you. And this guy looks just like you.
And this guy looks just like me. Look at that yeah,
(33:44):
that one right there, and this guy looks just like
looks just like Adam Madam school, Yeah, the one who
would to be a banker, right And I heard I
think he went on to be a banker. I thought he.
I think that he went on to be Why they
knew it. They were both kids hating into another cabin
stat down in two chairs, didn't know what was going on?
(34:06):
Tell you what we're gonna do to your kids? In
song him all right, then we're pulling her on her
fish and then we slashed the year and we're hearing
the driven the nut and then I'll go to question
myself because am hurting me in the younger phone in
the time continuum me, violence is down. We maybe maybe
(34:34):
we don't guilt. He's to a young man because that
technically because there and if you stab me here you'll
canceling out. I mean, this is how you two are, right,
you work things out in the moment. It's us whoa
well the right. So then they have to let us
go because if they don't let us go. Yeah, it's
(34:56):
like that movie with with Bruce Willis, Joseph Joseph Gordon Levitt.
Remember yeah, no, no, no, no, Romancings don't know. That's
the one that has Michael Douglas. Remember might to host
the Michael host Show to talk. You had to change
it to Michael Keaton because Michael Douglas has already taken
No Michael Keaton. You're thinking of the girl who played
(35:17):
Annie Hall. Michael Keaton was Annie Hall. Now that is
as good as it gets. Technicals with the Jack Nicholson.
No that hed Keanu Reeves as a doctor. I'll be
honest days Jack who the dug is, the producer Andy
and her special contributor Scott Allomason. I'm your host, sorry
and this was This is Americans Live and this next time.
This is Americans Live can be found wherever you get
(35:38):
your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. You
can also find This is Americans Live on Instagram at
this is Americans Live and on Twitter at Americans Live
Portions of This Is Americans Live, The improvised documentary podcast,
are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors,
and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which
inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you
hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a
random sentence provided by our revered omnipotent random sentence Generator.
(00:23):
For more of This is Americans Live, listen to more
episodes of This is Americans Live. I guess and now
your first random sentence. You to walk down the Slot
canyon oblivious to the sound of thunder in the distance.
They don't really care. They just kept walking towards it.
(00:45):
Maybe they were running from something, maybe they were going
to something, but the thunder was loud and very obvious.
I don't care. I just want to be with you.
I don't care how dangerous it looks. I just want
to be here for you. Greg. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,
And do you have to go through this checklist? We're
going into this canyon? Okay, alright, alright, you're grabbing me.
(01:08):
I just have to go because I want to pay
with you. Kendra, I get it, Yes, I get it,
but we're going into this canyon and I don't care
how dangerous. We have a safety checklist, ok okay, okay,
we gotta go through it, fly through them quickly because
I can't stress enough. I want to be okay. Alright, alright, okay,
truck up on the side of the truck, said ranger.
(01:29):
The guy comes out clearly used the ranger. I don't
care if he plans to arrest us for stresspassing. I
just want to be with you. What are you guys
doing out here? Oh? No, hey, it's exploring. What you
know there's a thunderstorm? Or did you hear that noise?
Are you guys? Are you are? It's me, It's it's
it's me. It's Jack Anderson. Yeah, the Explorer. I'm Jack Anderson,
(01:50):
the Explorer. I wait, from the TV show You're Not jacking? Yeah?
From Jackson show me some I d Jonathan Holy shit. Yeah,
I love your show man man. Yeah, we're you just
look different. You got a beard on or something or
it like you did, just look different. I didn't reconnize. Yeah,
you know, I've been growing the beard out and mean,
my my best girl. We're gonna We're gonna go down
(02:11):
into the canyon, no matter how dangerous it is. He man, Yeah,
I've watched your show. I know what you can and
can't do. You do whatever you need to do. Man,
you go out there, just so if anybody, any of
the rangers asks you, don't tell them. I said that
you can go up there. All right, Terence, I see
your name Terence, Terence, but there's a Terrance to who
also works here. Just make sure you don't. It's with
the name mind the Knee. You know my show. You
(02:33):
know what we're gonna be. We're just gonna be looking
to see what the earliest like you know, cave drawings are.
How early was you talk and humanized? That's what we're
gonna do. Believe this. We're gonna go check out. Man.
You know you know my game. It's all about human
Nobody's gonna believe you. Man, Okay, it's not you. That's
when he lost his girlfriend to the thunderstorm. The lightning
(02:54):
came straight down and write her from the top of
her head down to the tip of her dead. No, Kendra, Kendra, Kendra,
all right, I'm so sorry. Whoa we're happening over here.
(03:19):
By the way, Torrance, how did you guys got here?
We drove me here. I who told you you could
come down here? I just go, man, that's just my thing.
I go places I don't I don't get permission. I
just And now it's killed someone, Terence. So you want
to tell me why there was a couple down by
the canyon in the middle of a thunderstorm. Wait what,
(03:40):
I didn't see any couple there. I don't lie to me, Terence.
I'm not lying to you. You honestly think if I
would have seen somebody like Jack and Ship. Hold on,
that was Jacket. Yeah, that was Jack Anderson. You saw
him to him and his lady. Well his lady is dead,
but that was Jacket. What she That was him from
the show? Yeah, from the show. He has a beard.
(04:00):
Jack Anderson ended up having to bury the girl that
he had aided for a brief amount of time, and
he was a guest on a few different talk shows.
Everybody couldn't help but ask him about what happened to
his lady partner, rather than when his new show is
going to come out. So I'm so excited that you're here.
Thank you for having me. And um, I know that
(04:21):
the producers have been wanting to teach on the show
for a long time, really long time. Big fan. That's
our producer, that's Jeff, big fan. Are you doing? Thanks
for being a Thank you for being so great that
I would want to be a fan. So you got
a new show coming out? Do you want to tell
us a little bit about it? It's happened to the girl? Well,
(04:41):
it was clear we who were gonna go back to
the Kender story. There was the gods, you know, the
did you murder hair? No, I didn't know. She was
a lovely girl. It just a range of you talk
took her away much too quickly. But if we could
talk about my show adventure is now well we'll get
to that. Let me ask you a question. Before Candrew,
you dated another girl. Do you remember a girl named Gina? Well,
(05:04):
guess what, Gina remembers you too. Gina, come on out here,
it's me. You remember me? Do you remember me? None
of this? And then I'm back. You thought I was
never gonna be back, but now I'm big. Jana came
out from behind the studio audience or wherever these guests
usually come from. She had a white streak of hair,
that ran through her dark black hair, and all of
(05:26):
her melanin was split down the middle. It's hard to explain,
but basically she looked like she had been struck by
lightning directly on the top of her head. And this
was the aftermath. I was not briefed on this our interview.
You brought another one of your horrors to the canyon
and got them struck by line into Look at that, sister,
(05:47):
It's I'm cursed. Okay, everyone at home. Every woman that
I've ever loved has been struck by lining. It's how
do you want to hear you in the camera? You want?
You want to know that? Of course, years went by
because Jack Amerson lost this show. He was down and
out and he was still looking for love, so he
decided to check out the most new dating app to
(06:11):
see what he could find. Bro, have you seen this one?
This is the most new dating app. Have you seen
it called? It's called I'm Scared of Lightning App? Every
single every single check on this app. She's scared of lightning,
so she will go out of her way to avoid
lightning at all costs. So I saw it. Light barkeep
(06:34):
barkeep light for me, my friend? How do I click down. Okay,
look at her, Look at her. How scared she seemed
to be of lightning. I just figured this was your
your kind of thing, you know, because so many of
your girls died from from lightning, so you want to
avoid it. At that point, they both decided to go
out or a cigarette break. Jack didn't smoke, but his
(06:57):
partner Bart was a big smoker. Hey, Brosanna, is there
a storm coming. I'm gonna go check it. I'm gonna
go investigate. When people come, win me, be careful. It's
expanded to my friends. No. That's when Jack realized that
(07:18):
is cursed and only select the ones that he loved romantically,
but also he loved in general, his friends, his lovers.
He didn't know it was next you boys recording all this.
He gotta go here. You you were Mr Host and
you and you have do you audio? Guy? You're gonna
go You're gonna get killed. Get away from this bargain.
(07:39):
I'm sure it's fine. Can I get you do it
my check real quick quick? Go one. Luckily I did
all my audio after the fact, so I wasn't even
close to them when they were outside in the storm.
(08:00):
This is this is American's Live I'm Your Host, Sorry
with producer Andy. Our special guest contributor for this episode
is Scott Palmerston. In our show, we will be using
our Trustee Sentence Generator to bring you a story in
three improvised acts. This week's theme, partnership, could range from
anything from friendship to romantic relationships to even your family
(08:22):
partnerships the whole spectrum. Stay with us Act one. His
ultimate dream fantasy consisted of being content and sleeping eight
hours in a row, also to wake up to banana
(08:43):
pancakes every other day. He had these very childish fantasies,
ones that he never let go of, even from childhood
and his adulthood. He wanted to be treated like he
was a kid on vacation. Is That's the thing I
don't get about Ben. He's you know, he's he's successful.
He's what you're You're a hedge fund manager. And here's
the thing, like I just been missing you know, yeah,
(09:06):
I just don't meet that. I just I've just really
tapped into that, which makes me young Adam, you know,
young Adam. That's head. I just want to be able
to enjoy and take care of the kid inside who
just wants to have fruit loops. Who just wants to
play Mega Man three over and over again. I don't
think there's anything wrong with that. You have a hard
time focusing on your adult responsibilities when you have these
(09:29):
childish wants. I respect for your coming from. I don't
think they're childish wants. I think it's who I am. Ultimately, Yeah,
I live in a house with other people, don't pay
a lot of rents. We also made sure not to
give him any responsibility, all right. You know, we knew
we wouldn't be able to handle him because his eyes. Yeah,
Mega manitry the other plan and having kids. He has
(09:50):
three kids. The state took the kids away. Yeah, I
have three. I have three kids. Yeah, child Protective Services
took those kids away. There, that's right, you know, like
like everybody has just kind of agreed that he not
to have any responsibility. But just which is fine, Okay,
Well if we look at we don't look at Richard
dreyfuss In. You know, Mr Holland's opus no in close encounters.
(10:12):
He gets called to something greater and nobody calls him
a dead beat dad. He leaves his family and he
he goes back to the us. I'm just going back
to the mud. I've never I've never seen that movie
because some of us just don't have time to sit
and watch movies all there. You know. I just say,
this is what all my college friends are like. They
come into town and they you know, they like, we're
not gonna give him any responsibility at the reunion, and
(10:33):
you don't have to. I mean, but I'm gonna go
to the reunion. We're all gonna enjoy ourselves. And how
are you going to get there? I'm gonna figure it out.
How are you going to get to the reunion? Get
his license suspended? Richard Dry He was walking up and
down the freeway with a backpack and a devil bag
filled with clothes. He had every intention of making it
to the reunion, but no idea how to get there.
(10:55):
And he was three thousand five miles away. Oh oh,
probably gone with that guy. I don't know how much
out are you gonna get out here? Guys, it's just,
you know, it's just it's just me kind of walking
my path and kind of being out here. It's really, uh,
you know, there's not much to this. It's just living
with the inner child who I didn't listen to for
(11:16):
a very long time. That's why I started a family.
That's why I went into banking, and it didn't do
well with it because you know, I wasn't Adam Adam?
Is that you? Derek Schopinski? All right? What are you
doing out here in the middle of nowhere? I watch
I'm headed to the reunion. Man was his best friend
from high school and seen him in over ten years
(11:38):
or whenever the reunion time span between that, and they
just picked up right where they left up. I haven't
seen you years and class ninety nine when we graduated together.
That's crazy. Have you been up to you? You were
always a real go getter. I'm sure you went none
to do great things. I mean, yes, yes I did.
Do you end up having any kids? I had? Yeah?
(12:00):
Ware where that? Why don't you bring him? Well? There
they live with their mom. Now, I oh that they
moved out to Colorado? Actually, oh yeah, and I'm here.
I actually live in Venice. I'm not. I'm not too
far from the hotel where they're doing the reunion. Okay, okay,
you must have some high power job out here, and
that's why that's why your family had to move to
the Colorado. Is that is that what you're doing? It's
(12:21):
cold out here, man, Do you want to get in
so warm up a little bit? Sure? You have a
question for you? Yeah? Have you seen Mr Holland's Opus, No, Close, counter,
close Encounters and the Third Kind? Have you seen them? Yeah?
The Richard Drivers movie My Store is gonna make a
lot more sense. When don't we get in there and
let's get let's get to get all right, Okay, They
started making their way to the high school reunion. He
didn't want to tell the truth that he actually hit
(12:43):
checked his way all the way from Colorado, all the
way back to Venett's, California, where he had all started,
and he's tried to explain the concept or at the
story of those encounters? Are the third kind? Too? His
best friend, but kept thinking it was what about Bob
so the aliens? I don't I don't get when when
did the alien and starts psychoanalyzing Bill Murray? No, No,
billmers out in this one. It's um, it's a Richard Dreyfless.
(13:06):
It's a yeah, it's a Steven Spielberg movie. I don't
think Spielberg did. What about bomb? I gotta tell you
just between the kids and between work, I just haven't
had much time to watch many movies. Oh man is
At that moment, he realized he also didn't have any
place to stay. His plan when he arrived to the
Union was to kind of camp out near the beach.
But now that he ran into his best friend, he
figured you'd ask him for a place to cratch. All right, guys,
(13:29):
it's good to see Aliah. I'm gonna I'm gonna head
home to the fam. Alright, Hey, Adam, you keep in touch. Alright,
uh quick? Yeah, yeah, what's up? You know you're talking
about talking about that garage out back that you're you
guys are gonna turn into an airbnb, Like, yeah, yeah,
I mean do you need to help about that? I'm
good with the hammer. I mean, would it be art if?
I don't know. Uh, we got so much disposable income
(13:52):
that we we we just hired people to do that stuff.
But but hey, anytime you want to pay the a
night to h to stay in it, you're you're welcome
to come come hang out. Man, it was really good
to see. I'm gonna, I'm gonna head out now, I'm
gonna I'm gonna go. Um, why Why are you standing
between me and the door man with there's something something
you need? You're pressing kind of hard on my chest? Man?
(14:13):
What what? What he are you trying to? Hey, hey, hey,
are you trying to seduce me for some sort of
a monetary favor? That's currency on the streets. Adam, Are
you sure everything's going okay with you? I got that's
my tongue. Yeah, and that's my that's my tongue. Stop? Stop, Adam?
What's going on with you? Many now talk to me.
(14:35):
Adam had no choice, but let's bill the beans. In
this particular case, he actually had a bag of beans
in his pocket that build out when he sat down.
But then he did confess about what was going on
in his life, about how he lost his kids and
how he was kind of living in the streets in
a way. And yeah, it's not great. And I I
kind of wake up most days thinking, like Megan, like
have I made the redding, you know, decision? And and
(14:58):
and like I have screwed up so much? But but
but maybe it's good. Maybe it's good to listen to
your inner child and try to trust it. But but
I I don't live anywhere and I trade low for favors,
and uh, Derek, I'm just kind of in a way.
I'm just kind of in a way. All right, Well,
I guess if you want, you can you can come
(15:20):
stay in the I mean the airbnb isn't isn't finished yet,
but you can come hang out tonight until you get
on your feet. But I mean we gotta hurry though,
before this bean stains sets in pants. He took him
up on his offer and moved into the house, started
rebuilding the out house and or whatever back house it
was into an Airbnb, and he started making his own
banana pancakes for himself. But the banana pancakes started catching on.
(15:44):
Everybody wanted to bite. Good morning, Honey, good morning, Good morning, Adam,
good morning. So what's your breakfast pancakes? Adam was just leaving. Yeah,
I just wanted to say thank you. I I got
the lease for a little venice. Oh, I got it
something at the Dorosey Dorothy. Hi. We saw that you
(16:09):
guys have this place up for rent on on Airbnb.
We just decided we wanted to forego that, maybe avoid
some of the fees. I heard you guys have some
banana pancakes that come with the room. Yes, our house guests,
he makes them, don't you. We would like to book
for a week. Is that possible, Well, it's already booked
because Adam staying here. But you know what, honey, what
you head out and make make some extra room for
(16:30):
these guests here? Not leaving my own house. Well, I
gotta make these pancakes. So I got a brook and
mortar for these pancakes opening up in Venice. I got
this place. I mean, things are looking pretty good for me.
Now Adam makes pancakes. What do you bring to the table? Honey? Wait? Wait?
Why why don't have to leave my own house? Adam?
You come in here, breathe into town, you make my
family pancakes, and now I have to leave my own house.
(16:54):
My kids are gonna be here. I have figured everything
out and they'll be here in a little bit. And
I don't want that kind of kidding a tune in
my house? Dad? What's going on? Bryce? This is your
new home. What are you surprise about? Bro? You don't
know his kid was fucking twenty one years old. It's up.
I should have never stopped to pick you up at him.
My whole life isn't shambles now because of you. Adam.
(17:14):
There there, Rice, don't cry, I'm not crying. You've upset
my boy. I'm just happy for you. Dad. You found
a new place, a new home, this is my place,
and a new wife and a new house. I'm gonna
meet your new wife. Yeah, this is Cassie. This is Cassie.
You mean your wife in a few weeks maybe, dude, Yeah,
great job. Totally forgive me for abandoning us. I asked
you to wait until after he left to write the
(17:37):
news to him we're gonna marry, But I get excited.
I get Oh. Look, I'm just following my bliss right now.
You know, goddamn had'm beant taking over his whole life,
his wife, his kids, even his job that he had,
and then he quit the job for him and then
went into banana pancakes full time. Boss. Don't worry that
these reports are gonna be You're fine anyway. Why why
(17:58):
didn't you say you quit and and you send me
an email to say go forth myself? No, I would
never do that. Yeah you did. You're at it, kid.
Wait a minute, I smell banana pancakes. Yeah, so what
I like pancakes and sometimes of the banana variety. Boss,
you gotta listen. There's not much time. I didn't send
you that email. I did not quit. Oh yeah, there's
(18:21):
this guy at him. I went to school with him.
Oh come on, he took my family, he took my wife,
he took my airbnb, he took my house. The airbnb
is part of the house. Now he's taking this job
for me. How's he taking the job if he got
your fire? Dumb ship? Did out of here? Adam? Come
out here? Adam break Rome. He's not here. I don't
even know what the funk you're talking. I can smell
(18:42):
the banana pancakes. Look what I gotta got a pancake.
Gotta listen, pancake Adam. I hdmatized everybody in Derek's life,
his boss, his friends, his wife, his kids who we
actually haven't even met yet. But it doesn't matter. Adam
has everything or took it anything from Derek. What do
they stay friends? Who knows? Coming up? Back to the
(19:08):
first word from our esteemed sponsors, stay with us. Back
to the interview. Get to know our guest for this episode,
Scott Palmerson, So how long have you been listening to
(19:30):
the show I've been listening to it for a week.
Oh nice, big fan, so a long time listener. Yeah,
and uh, tell us what you do what? I'm an
actor and I'm a singer. Nice. And then I do
other stuff to kind of like I'll pay the bills
while I being an actor and not stuff. And then
uh friends with Andy uh and we uh who did
And he was like, you want to come do this stuff?
(19:52):
And I was like, yeah, it sounds great and he
was like, since I've been such a long time listener
and it's such a I'm such a big fan, and yes,
I want to be a part of it. I was
a fan of friend, now much more a part. Are
you a big fan of musicals? Yes? I got really
into musicals. What's your favorite one? Probably a Little Shop
of Horse. Have you ever thought about maybe turning your
own life into musical? I'm actually writing it right now.
(20:14):
It's a Little Shop of Horrors, the one um where
Rick Moranus turns his kids into tiny, tiny people they
turn in where they shrink tiny and then then and
then he has to find them because he's trying. And
then there's a sequel right where he has a friend
and they're a Canadian they drink out a beer. L
A story, yes, is no l A story is the
one where the man has two brains. No, that's wrong,
(20:38):
It's called animaniac. That's true. Um, you know the one
you're referencing is that he it's like a Sereno di
Bergiac whatever you ever pronounced that. It's like that. That's Ghostbusters.
You're right, I'm sorry. It is Ghostbusters, the new one
that came out yea with Brian Doyle Murray. Yes. Do
you remember the first time that you decided you wanted
to be? What was the first Do you want to
(20:58):
be an actor? Do you want to be singer? What
was the first thing you even wanted to be? And
if it was something else, you can go and tell us, like,
what was the very first thing you wanted to be
growing up? Probably singer? My grandfather was a kind of
I sent my professional opera singer saying with my dad
and so both of them. I mean, every I grew
up seeing my dad new shows every Christmas would be
like my grandfather would sing, my mom would play piano,
(21:21):
my dad would sing, and then my sister ended up singing.
But everyone in my family is like a high quality musician.
Or high level and did amazing things. So I was
singing first, but then I would just go to my
dad's shows over and over, and he was in like,
was it expected for you to have the pipes or
did you discover that you had them later on in life?
Kind of a bit of both. I love to draw,
(21:42):
and so I drew as a kid, like I learned.
I would study the like the covers of Disney VHS
and I would study the Simpsons and study the Ninja
journals in Garfield and everybody and I would learn how
to draw those things. And that was kind of like
I'm the drawer while everyone else just like singing. And
then at my eighth grade moving up ceremony, I was like,
I'm just sing imagine. I just knew I'll sing imagine,
(22:03):
And everyone in my class was like what. And I,
as a kid, you know, he was like, Oh, this
attension is good. And I knew that I kind of
wanted this thing, kind of wanted to discover it. So
at that point it was a little bit of huberty
and a little bit of I think I like this,
even though it was kind of being a little defiant,
little younger. Did your voice crack in the middle of
the song. Did you going to puberty? No? I never did.
I remember my voice getting deeper like when I became
(22:25):
a man. You know, we actually have some clips of
your childhood in a family full of opera singers in
our archives. Have you cleaned your room? Why cleaned this morning? Fall?
Don't talk back to me. I was not talking you.
I was Scott. Yes, all you have a phone call
(22:51):
from a girl. She wants to talk to you. She
is on the phone. She's just a friend. So just
just a friend. Fall. It was my name Cold. Hello.
Are you upset the fact that the girls and more
interested in your brother who didn't exist? Jesus Christ, I
(23:13):
mean a little bit. When I started to sing, it
was a point in my life when I would have
done anything to like get the attention of like the
opposite sex. Did it work, by the way, did what work?
It's singing? Definitely? Once I knew that, like because for
me as a kid, one way that I kind of
like flipped bullying was I'll draw something for you, right, yeah, Hey,
you the bully. What do you want do you want
(23:34):
to like Simpson? Do you want this? What do you want? Like?
And I'll draw it and I that's kind of how
I negotiated with kind of that as a kid, so
like he eventually turned it into singing like don't beat
me up, ling and singing for you. I think I
think that I realized if I was good at stuff,
that that could be a protective thing. And I think
that's something I discovered later. We actually have some of
that in the archives. Fun this. Yeah, where's your fucking money? Dude?
(23:58):
It's right here? It is is the monopoly on a skateboard?
Like at that. We're not fall for that this time, dude. No, man,
it looks pretty Chris, pretty badass. We talked about this
Christ and said that we're gonna get money this time.
People are fucking bullying. Yeah yeah, where's that? More money? Okay? Alright, alright, alright,
(24:19):
no more games, no more games, no more talents. We
just wanted money, dude, alright, tired of the drawings? Do
you want either of you to be cut in half?
Because I've also been practicing magic. I don't know, man,
getting cut in half? How about you, Dicky, Dicky? You
I'll cut dicken Hams. I don't know, you know, like magic? Dude? Alright,
sure we got off fine, here we go. Alright, get
into this cardboard box. Okay, I'm in and look this,
(24:43):
look this this, and now he's into to look that.
He's in two and now he's back together. He's fine,
he's fine. He's one body. But he was separated. You
know what, that was pretty great? You know, just just
get this half the money, then half to half the
money we agreed about. Get your hand off my how
my shirt does my Ninja turtles? Last thing? You guys
(25:04):
look like you love a good impression. Well yeah, what
if I would tell you guys have been working on
a Jack Nicholson impression and that'll be as good as money,
and it'll make your bellies life? Would you guys like that?
Who's that? I'd be willing to knock a few points
off the principle if you if you can knockout all right,
didn't go for it? I really okay with that? Alright?
Can My mom's gonna be here any second? Okay, he's
(25:26):
picking me up. I mean I gotta go. Okay, here
we go. You call that mom. There you go, that's
my Jack Nicholson. Pretty good? Pretty good? I mean you
get to still want my money? Any bullys in tonight
any bullis I'm a bully, alright? Uh knock knock, Yeah,
who's used there? Let me do it, dude, who's there?
(25:48):
Jack Nichols? Call back? Salad call back? Okay, good, Okay,
give us one tenth of the money that we agree
ever the year, alright, one tenth of them unless you
do a really good John c Riley. Who the fund
is that? Dude? I don't know who the funk that
(26:08):
isn't he didn't do it? Anyways? You want me to
go forward like, you know, like thirty years and uh
like into like a you know, like into Sermonox California
and I can do it. Yeah, do you want to
do that? Okay? Okay, okay, count with me? Three one? Yeah.
So I did a John c Riley impression for John
c Rale than you did about it. I had a
friend and I'll play with him and I went and
(26:29):
chatted with him and I just said, I just want
to really want to do this, and I just was bald.
I was like, because I'm right here. My my voice
is a little deeper, but I do I do have
a bit of that Ray Romano kind of the way
Jim Henson would talk. And Jim Henson was in interviews
and you know, uh so, but the closest for me
is John c Riley. So I'm right here, I have
a pretty harsh American accident back my throat, and then
(26:51):
John c Riley's right up here. He's just right there.
And then if I slow down, you know, but I
really have to slow down, I goes just you know
this it's a weird thing, you know, and it's so
it's right, it's really close, and it's a I think
it's the closest to my act work. So it happened
when you did the impression of John c Riley for
John c Riley. He was very nice about it. He goes,
(27:11):
he was like, I don't know what ione thinks that
sounding like that. I don't sounding like that, and he
was kind of like he humored me. He was very
sweet about it. And then we all went to the
bar and like he was just a gentleman. He's really nice.
You know. I think we have a voice matching auditions
for John c Riley and our archives. Alright, John c
Riley voice matching auditions first stop Ray Romano. I'm gonna record,
(27:35):
I'm gonna record, all right, John c Riley voice matching auditions.
Kermit the Frog is Crimit the frog here. Uh, we
just wait for the green light and then we're going
to cool. Yes, it's on go. I'm gonna recket caught
John c Riley voice matching audition, Scott Palmerson, I'm gonna record.
(27:57):
Holy sh it, that guy sounds just like John c Riley.
If only my producer can do an oppression of somebody
who can move a scene forward. Thank you for being
part of the show, Scott. Hope you having a good time.
This is great coming up at three. First, a word
from our sponsors who make this high quality program possible.
Stay with us. At three. The growth old man sat
(28:31):
in the back of the bait shop, grumbling to himself
as he scooped out a handful of worms. He had
been running the bait shop for many years in this
small town, but he started noticing that you, or and
fewer teenagers who were coming to visit his bait shop
at this lake. He wondered, why one day I'm gonna
get shop one s the world. He keeps saying that,
(28:57):
here we are. He keeps saying it, well, for this
list serves the year I'm going this year? Why do
you think you've had a hard time, you know, following
through with your plans? Well, because I mean be a
busy part of fishing season. I risking him trapped here,
starts out to say, you know, I've got these big
(29:17):
plans and then just get some busy. They keep saying
that he's always busy. Seems like there's you and fewer
teenagers showing up to the lake as opposed before when
that was pretty much you only clientele. So why do
you think you're still so busy? Maybe we are just
don't want to go. I'm just afraid it's settled in.
(29:41):
Maybe are just no deep down there was nothing out
there for me, and I've got her if arms. My
buddy Devin here names there should be a lot of
teenagers here, but there's not. Some teenager. I chuck full.
The teenager showed up. Oh man, what you get it here?
(30:02):
We got worms? Welcome in a long time. You got worms,
bro fruit what fishing? Fishing? Tell me more? Definitely breaks
up your collar. Come on, look, look, look alive. We
got teenager from here finally, and my tickers are going
the mom my hair. Look, my hand is shaking you too,
(30:24):
weirdest you link, you weirdo. What is fishing definite possible?
Look to these people don't know what fishing is. Have
to get on our fishing teaching. Perhaps put them on
a kid about fresh kids were being very disrespectful. Clearly
they went there to go fishing, but just to peruse
the lake. Be consumers of what nobody knew. The first
(30:48):
thing you can learn about fishing. Oh no, damn, let's
go from the town. Alright, alright, everyone from the town fish.
You should the worm border next one, dude, you due, Devin,
You did the hook and you throw it in the
ocean and you say, oh, I want to get a fish.
(31:09):
I want to get a fish from fish. Now all
the kids say, I want to fish. I want to fish.
I want to fish water fish. You want to fish?
Wish fresh straight fish. That's actually I'm sorry, any questions, Yeah,
(31:32):
what's fishing? What do we love it? Top? Okay, the
kid's never going to just do the concept. So they
just decided to produce the lake like they usually did, drinking,
making loud, obnoxious noises, getting naked, jumping in the lake,
basically doing what teenagers do. Love. That's my favorite noise,
(31:57):
make cube. But I just can't get that song out
of my head, you know, the one the guys were singing,
we should they firshould take They split in. I don't
want to fish. I want to fish. You want you know? Yeah? Yeah?
Like I mean, you know what it is. It's crush.
These natty lights have made out with Becky and I
just go I just want to fish, I know, I said,
(32:17):
and at the head of the canoe and masturbated, are
you serious? And I didn't even get the song out
of my head. I think I was there, commune, come
on you come on me onto the dock. Come on here,
I help you onto the dock. Let's come over you
if you go ahead, all right, walk with me. They
realized they were being followed by who they didn't know
they could just heal it. Did you hear that? You? Yeah?
(32:41):
What what if we're those guys? What if like we're then?
What if we grow up to beat them? Or what
if we are them? Now? What if we are there?
What if we are they? What if we are they?
What if we are they? What if maybe you know,
what if we are you know? What if we are
that that? What if we are that? I think it's
that I don't know, it's just the higher pitch one
like the one who was like a little more frail.
(33:02):
Who who? He looks alone like you, don't you think?
And yeah, and the other one looks like I don't know,
looks like my dad. It looks like me. He looks
like my uncle. I just would have in a way.
We're all kind of whales old men at the bait shot.
What is that noise? There's someone following us that blog.
They walked up to a wall of photos next to
(33:24):
the cabin. They started noticing all the old men were
different versions of them. All the photos look like different
versions of them, banning from the eighteen hundreds to present.
Ro Look at this guy, wo whoa, this guy looks
just just like you. And this guy looks just like you.
And this guy looks just like me. Look at that yeah,
(33:44):
that one right there, and this guy looks just like
looks just like Adam Madam school, Yeah, the one who
would to be a banker, right And I heard I
think he went on to be a banker. I thought he.
I think that he went on to be Why they
knew it. They were both kids hating into another cabin
stat down in two chairs, didn't know what was going on?
(34:06):
Tell you what we're gonna do to your kids? In
song him all right, then we're pulling her on her
fish and then we slashed the year and we're hearing
the driven the nut and then I'll go to question
myself because am hurting me in the younger phone in
the time continuum me, violence is down. We maybe maybe
(34:34):
we don't guilt. He's to a young man because that
technically because there and if you stab me here you'll
canceling out. I mean, this is how you two are, right,
you work things out in the moment. It's us whoa
well the right. So then they have to let us
go because if they don't let us go. Yeah, it's
(34:56):
like that movie with with Bruce Willis, Joseph Joseph Gordon Levitt.
Remember yeah, no, no, no, no, Romancings don't know. That's
the one that has Michael Douglas. Remember might to host
the Michael host Show to talk. You had to change
it to Michael Keaton because Michael Douglas has already taken
No Michael Keaton. You're thinking of the girl who played
(35:17):
Annie Hall. Michael Keaton was Annie Hall. Now that is
as good as it gets. Technicals with the Jack Nicholson.
No that hed Keanu Reeves as a doctor. I'll be
honest days Jack who the dug is, the producer Andy
and her special contributor Scott Allomason. I'm your host, sorry
and this was This is Americans Live and this next time.
This is Americans Live can be found wherever you get
(35:38):
your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. You
can also find This is Americans Live on Instagram at
this is Americans Live and on Twitter at Americans Live
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