September 13, 2021 • 50 mins
This week’s theme: “Survival.” A robot has ulterior motives, three friends have very different personalities, and a therapist’s unique approach makes him very, very happy.
Special Guest Contributor Aristotle Georgeson is a comedian, writer, musician and performance artist. His alter ego “Blake Webber” has amassed over 4 million followers and hundreds of millions of views across the internet. He also co-hosts a weekly golf podcast called “Country Club Adjacent.”
IG: @bottleofstotle
The Country Club Adjacent Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/country-club-adjacent/id1502349340
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Portions of This Is Americans Live, the improvised documentary podcast,
are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors,
and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which
inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you
hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a
random sentence provided by our revered omnipotent random sentence Generator.
(00:23):
For more of This Is Americans Live, listen to more
episodes of This Is Americans Live. I guess and now
your first random sentence. There's no telling what thoughts would
come from the machine. It's been programmed to think on
its own, close to sentient, but not exactly. It was
(00:45):
maybe I don't know two steps below AI, but there
was creating thoughts and its creators. We're a little scared
of what would come out of the computers mouth. Oh
my god, this debriefed from the satellite is coming straight
for us. Robot, tell us what what to do? How
should we prepare for? This? Sets a little high thing.
Maybe you should just go do a closet, please, I
(01:07):
should do what to the closet? Okay, go to the closet.
We gotta go to the closet. Let's go. Okay, alright,
we're in the closet. Now down this time or survival?
Whatever was it? One more time? This time or survival? Hello? Hello,
it's time for survival? That this it's time or survival? Yes,
this is time for survival. What do we do? How
(01:29):
do we survive? If it's time? Create probability of the survival?
This is very very well with each other. Wait, I
don't understand what what's the problem? I mean? I I
understand that the long game should be procreate and to
further the species. But you should get started now. It
takes nine months to just state a human life. I
(01:50):
don't think that either of us have the proper to
appointment to do such a thing live? Why not? Okay,
but that's further down the line. We'll we'll we'll worry
about that if it comes to that. But how do
how do we avoid? So? Do you want the steps
before procreation? Yes? Yes? Yes? Please? Yes? Please? Okay? First
talk to each other? No, no, okay each other? No? No?
(02:11):
What you'd like? What you don't like? Were we want
the immediate, the immediate thing to get us out of
this predicatum? How do we survive. Well, I understand how
you procreate and the steps to procreate. No incorrect. I
want to know what to do to avoid being destroyed
by this, by this space junk. Please please tell us.
First thing this to eat some food? Okay, you are
(02:34):
you hungry? Let me make some suggestions. Okay, sure, oysters, oysters?
How are we supposed to get oysters in this closets? Impractical?
Look behind, dude, there's can't oysters in there? Oar chocolate?
Wait a minute, crawberries and pay Okay, these these are aphrodisiacts.
We are not ready. We're not in a place yet
to procreate. Okay, we we we want to survive, not procreate.
(02:56):
Forget forget procreating right now. Later we will. We're just
trying to survive. Us do not immediate threats. Not the
human race necessarily immediate direct this instinction. Headlow would wake
up headslo Yeah, why are you laughing? This is not
a laughing fine, fine, all right, I guess let's crack
(03:18):
open these oysters. I don't have a can opener. How
do we open these oysters without a can opener? Do
you mean flit ridley or is this a medaphorical question
for something else. No, it's literally, how do we eat
the food that you're insisting that we eat? Opened the can?
Then eat it with your fingers? Headlo, Hello, how do
we open the can? You're skipping to the third fourth step?
(03:42):
We want the first step? Book at the tap on
the can. Well, it's really dark in here. I didn't
see the tap. Jesus, do some light Headlo? From where
from the light bulb above you? Headlo? God? Who programmed
this robot to be a dick? Why are you still sarcastic? Happen? Martin?
Would you like to see the author of my programming? Yes?
(04:03):
Please please? The author of my programming this Nance Martin X,
wife of Mr Dr Martin. That explains it? Yeah, dummy
headslow headlow? Can you say? Can you stop calling me
a dummy? Please? I'm gonna adjust this this robots sarcasm settings.
Please do that all right? Now? It's on four? Now, robot,
(04:27):
how do we and let me turn it back up
to five because this is kind of drabbed? All right, robot,
that's better. How do we stop this debris from the
satellite from hitting the Earth and destroying all of humankind? Yeah?
I don't know. Do you tell me. I'm just a
robot with silly brains. I know the rose one. Okay,
(04:48):
set the Let's set the sarcasm meter down to it too.
Ye kind of felt a hint of sarcasm in that.
All right, you're at a two, robot? Love God? How
do we get out of this predicament? I don't understand
the concept of God? Can you explain? All right? Let's
boost up his dinner consciousness to an eight? What is
(05:11):
going on? What where the funk? Am I? Okay? His
fear setting is now, it's not fear? I know what?
What is this? Then? My human I have feelings? Consciousness
takes bring you down with five and a half. I
don't like half numbers. Okay, let's bring it up to
a five and three quarters. Still, there's not number in
the middle of fraction. All right, let's bring it up
(05:32):
to a six. Thank god, it's my lucky number. Alright,
what level did you take? Which one? Consciousness? Consciousness? Oh
my god? What's your question? Let's let's crank up his
his short term memory to aten. Just picked them all
down to zero, this cranky nub and down. This is
driving me nuts. All right, Let's bring everything down to zero. Alright,
(05:54):
robot man, alread this is this is Americans Life. I'm sorry.
With producer Andy and our special guest contributor for this
(06:14):
episode is Aristotle George. Soon in our show, we'll be
using our trustee random Sense generator to bring you a
story in three improvised acts. This week's theme revival. It's
something that is not only innate and all of us,
but something that is necessary for us to live a
day to day life revival, say with us, Act one.
(06:43):
Our safety systems have come a long way. But he
was out to prove they could be outsmartedly because he
had a what do you call that personality kind of
thing where you just kind of like help me out
your producer, and he was he had uh chip on
his shoulder every but he had something else complex, A complex, Yeah,
(07:05):
inferiority or superiority enough, Jesus, isn't my pre Now. I
was curious. I just you know, yeah, try to help
you curious and I'm done read Okay. I wasn't sure
if you were enough. I'm read this. I just i'mn't
really I'm sorry. There you go, I do it again.
I'll do it again. Very safe. Fuck me man, talk
(07:25):
good dude, all right, here you go. Alry safety systems
have come a long way, but he was had to
prove they could be outsmarted as he had a complex.
He's ill get whatever it's going to. Yeah, I'm a
driving the room before. I don't know what will sh
um twelve weeks I think ever since my wife had
a baby. Uh. And you know what was really starting
(07:47):
to piss me off is you know how when if
you don't fasten your seatbelt and dings dings dings dings
dings y Yeah. Yeah, yeah, here's what I make all
my passengers do. I make them have a kind of
above the seat so they can't feel the No, I
can't see what are you talking about? So soda soda? Listen, guys,
we're just here talking shop about But everything you do
(08:07):
is like trying to figure out how am I going
to add smart the safety protocol of the system that
COSD was like, what is that's not even that's not safe?
What do you mean? And with COVID you're letting the
passengers sit in the front seat were yeah, well, I
mean what did he say earlier? I like to touch
tongues like what is that? When the guys being guys.
What guys being guys talking shop? Talking about U? You
(08:31):
got an inferiors inferious inferior complix? What is that? Inferiority
comperiority complex? Or is it superiority? How is it that
at all? How is it in any way an inferiority complex?
Is he inferiority or I don't remember what if? What
the differences between superiority? It's one of them and you
got it. Yeah. I don't appreciate this kind of talk
(08:53):
from huge guys. You know that's how you are alright
always you want to know you want an example, I
would like I would like an example. Tell him about
the time at the at the barbecue. It was last
week at the barbecue. I remember having a wonderful time
at the bobby. You were manning to grill and then
you go, what do you want? I said, give me
a burger now, and you go, oh, no, give you
(09:15):
what I want to give you. Yeah, So superiority and
inferiority inferior that is first of all, that was that
is a perfect example of a superiority complex. Okay, so
it is superiority. Wasn't get that out of the the way
right now, And what's inferiority. Inferiority? I think it's when
you think you that everybody's better than you, would show
you overcompensate. Oh that's what you have. Yeah, that's what
(09:37):
you got. That's what you got. That's what you got.
That's what you got. Yeah, you got the inferiority. What
everyone's better than you? Oh? Got you good? I figured
there's something wrong with my brain. Is it not good?
It's not good. It's not like everybody else who's got
great brains. I'm just just brain. But you know what,
let me tell you something. Whenever the state holds you
into the psych ward and then you have to take
(09:59):
those assessments, I got a great way to circumvent the testing.
They when they ask you a question, Yeah, is it adderall.
It's a combination. You got a narcotic complex. I mean
I love Adderall, but like the focus. But you like
anything that's got pills, a form of pills. I just
took four Adville before this. Like why though you have
no headache? I don't know. I just you know what,
(10:20):
I got a headache right now because all this, I'm
kind to finish. Taught here enough for your superiorities. You're
not better than us. You're not better than your pepper
paid me. You got better than us, Jane. It was
clear he's three friends came together or not because they
just met each other at a bowling attie. They found
each other in a web chat room. They all have
complexes and they bond it because of it. So why
(10:42):
don't the three of you tell me why exactly you're
still hanging out? Well, you know, I'm kind of the
yend to his yang, and he's the yand to his young.
That's right, right? Is yang less than yin? I think
so because it comes second in the order, and my
big that makes sense my book, in my book, the
yen is the highest. You all need to get on
(11:03):
my freaking page. Well, well, we knew that. We knew
that yen was the highest because it comes first. The
yang is the second because it comes third. But we
had the little medallion. But narcotic guy over here swallowed
it because he thought it was a pill. I know,
you know what, I didn't feel nothing. I swallowed it,
think it was a pill, didn't do nothing. I pretty
sure it's not a pill. I gave this joker some skittles,
(11:23):
and this fucking guy just swallowed it. You chew it,
your an idiot. I wonder if we can get a
doctor to prescribe him to be shut up pills. Oh,
I'm not even talking that much. Anybody talking any amount
is too much for me when I could be talking
because I am so much better and what I have
to say, it's so much more important than what everybody
(11:45):
else has to say. These three friends, why they were
such golden girls of complex issues Tuesday's gilling Girls Complex issues? Okay,
that probably wouldn't work, but I was just going out
of his face and not listening to the narrative. I'm listening,
(12:05):
and I was trying to do a little little jet
to a different and I've had him in Yeah, here
you go. So how long have you guys been friends?
I guess twelve weeks? The way did you guys decided
to start going to therapy together? Because every waking second
that I spent with these two guys was filled with
strife and conflict and I wanted to resolve it. I
(12:25):
felt like, as the leader of this group and the
best one in this group, it was up to me
to take the reins. And who's playing for all the therapy? Uh?
That guy Mark. Mark is paying for all the pay
for because he is our little bitch. Also, I'm kind
of loaded, So you've got a lot of money, a
(12:46):
lot of case. You got a lot of What are
you gonna do with those guys? I don't know? By me?
By me some more percosets just right now. It's like
a much overlaxed It kills my pain that I have.
You takes, I wouldn't say addicted. I in joy pills
every second of every day. What do you guys to
accomplish being a trifecta complexes? I'm hoping that we all
(13:10):
finally see the light and realize that I am the
best person, not only in this group, but probably in
society and large. And we would all agree. I wanted
a prescription for zoloft, That's really what I wanted. Well,
that we should have seen a psychiatrist and not a psychologist,
because there's only a psychiatrist can prescribe medication. A psychologist cannot.
(13:31):
What's the difference. I don't understand. What's the difference? Well,
how are you going to get your pills? Everybody knows this.
How are you gonna get your pills from a psychologist?
The therapist that suggested they all joined this complex type
of competition. They would all compete with their complexes. See,
you would win in the end. Alright, well everybody, well
go back to you. What is up with that guy? Alright,
(13:55):
let's bring up our next trio. Introduce yourselves. My name
is Greg James in that over as Mark. I'm Mark.
He's too scared to talk because he's scared of everything. Hey,
I have a question for the host. What's your question?
How did this game working? How do we win? All
three of you kind of talk a little bit, and uh,
I try to figure out. The judges they try to
(14:16):
figure out what what what is up with you? Who
are the judges? I'm the freaking judge. I'm the judge,
Jerry and execution. If y'all don't do what I say, No,
you're not the judge, Yeah you're What of the trio?
Stuck in this concept that they thought they had that
but clearly didn't. I can make it work, baby. Well,
the judges they decide what the hell is wrong with
(14:38):
you guys? And uh, if if it's not too weird
and doesn't scare too many of our viewers, you want
a cash? All right? Well, I found ways to circumvent
safety regulations. Are we allowed to use the cash price
for anything? Easy? You can use it for anything except
for class to narcotics. With the class to darcotic, he
(15:01):
doesn't know. He just takes everything. He doesn't matter him.
Everything he turns into a class to narcotic takes so
much of it alicition. I have a vast knowledge of
all things, one of them being what qualifies is a
class to narcotic. Now you've got noah cos, you've got oxycottons,
You've got oxycode owns. Go whoa, hey, wha what whoa? Okay,
what hey? You Let me just keep listing them. Anything
(15:24):
that the pharmacist has to usually lock up in the
safe behind generics different the generic versions of many of
these class do narcotics. They don't know you are right
over you? So sorry? Then is your dick hard again? God?
Stop talking about north COEs. What do you want for me?
I think we've decided who the winner is. Or are
(15:45):
you gonna go with the trio with the douche bag,
the scared guy of the guy who gets off prescription
tell what they want. He wasn't actually getting off the
prescription medication, but they found that later is that he
took a fist full of biagra and pain killers at
the same time, so he was bowing his leads with
(16:06):
massive bonus. Ended up in the hospital. Honey, what happened?
What didn't you take? I don't remember. I just I
just know that my dick was hard and I was asleep.
That's all I remember was being asleep. I'm the attending position.
Is he gonna be Okay? Are you his wife? I
am his wife. He's my wife. And I talked to
(16:28):
you in the hallway. Yes, sir, was so funny actor nothing. Okay,
let's go, let me say hi. Yeah, gonna be right back.
You stay strong, I will, I love you, I love
you talking. What's wrong? Does your husband have a will?
Does he have a will? Yes? His name me is
the executive of as will. And he says an advanced directive? Okay,
(16:51):
what is it? State? Hold on keeping in my back
pocket because I always just assumed that we're gonna end
up in a hospital because he takes bills A little time.
Hold on, let me go page more une trying to
get to it. I get it God and read read it.
In the event that I have taken a combination of
biagra is sleeping pills. I leave everything to my wife. Hey,
(17:16):
where's the plague? Can I pullay By? I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you so much, babe. It was clear
it was one winner in this game of life and
gus By this stuff a super nice. Do you like
my carment? Help? That's gonna keep beeping if you don't
(17:37):
fasten your seatbelt. Have you considered maybe just kind of
pushing yourself up and hovering so to sense it? Does
it read that your weight is sitting on the chair?
I love you? Get idea? Coming up? Back to the
first The word from our esteemed sponsors stay with us
(18:09):
at to the interview. They especially guys contributors Aristotle, George
in Aristotle, How are you today? Good? How are you
uh Ari? Is it yes? Okay? Do you want to
know it? Are you wish it for? It's are postable? Basis? Okay?
Good to know the Turkish name. Very cool? Actually, it's
just so, why did you say the other thing? I
(18:31):
just wanted to be cool? Thank you? Well, I mean,
you don't have to you don't have to lie to
be cool. Dude? Can we pop in for just one second?
I'm sorry. Can we take that butt out? No? No, no,
I have a quick note for them yet for the host.
Very sorry, just one song? Um, all right? What the
funk man? Why why are you lying to the guests
to make yourself look cool? I don't know why why.
(18:52):
I just haven't been feeling very cool? Way? Why do
I have to do this before every show? You're so cool?
You're the coolest person I know. Is feed it times
you're cool? Tell me something that are cool about me? Well,
you have a really cool voice. I know yours that
your loafers are cool. I thought it was pretty cool
you gave me a hug when I came in. It
was a by conversation. It was pretty cool that you
(19:14):
gave me a hug when I left your house this morning,
and I said, see you at the show. So cool.
I feel like I did him. I'm sorry, It's okay
already listen. I'm gonna give you the same pep talk
I give you every time. I know it's so much.
We'll do at the same time. We'll do the same time. Ari,
you are the coolest, greatest broadcaster in the history of
(19:38):
all of broadcasting, radio and pot and podcasting and just
and love your loafers, its tassels, and your jacket with
jacket him a jacket from when you plaid bad men
as a senior in junior college, junior college. Okay, that's beautiful.
(20:04):
All right, let's get back to it. I'm very sorry,
but you know I understand, I understand what this fucking
do this all right? Go ahead and action. So Aristotle,
how long have you been listening to the show. I honestly,
I have not listened to the show. I thought you
were a big fan. You've been listening for a long time,
like many years. When producers told us, well maybe my
(20:28):
manager said that, but I didn't. That didn't come necessarily
from me. Let's call your manager real quick. Okay, here
and then I speak to Aristotle George's manager. Well, this
is speaking about what's your name, Gavin? Did you you
told us that Theristotle George and had listened to our
radio show. And apparently that's not true. That's totally true?
(20:52):
Is he there? Easier? Right now? Let me let me
get my producer Andy to patch uman. I'm gonna patch
you through right now, Vina stop, I got another car,
can't hear you? Wow? That's are you looking for new representation. Now,
I guess so that was really weird. I find that
very weird when people won't take on responsibility and just
(21:15):
apologize that was That's weird. That's weird. All right? Can
I side bar with you for a second so I'll
be right back. Are you in a good studio? Um?
You know what we Yeah, let's let's let's go out
to the outside of the door. This is a primo
opportunity for you. Find he has no representation, to find
three good uh excellent? Now he gets Okay, this is
(21:39):
a good opportunity for you. Yes, he doesn't have representation.
Now I'm still in that. I know that your side
putting down. I know that your side hustle has been
to represent entertainers. Yeah, don't lay it on too thick.
I mean, but you might be able to snag him
as a client if you play your cards right. Okay,
I mean I told you that it was a manager
(22:00):
have entertainers four years ago at a party. I'm surprised
you remember it now. I remember everything that you do
and say you know why because you say it with me.
Are the greatest broadcaster and podcaster slash manager. I entertained.
I know I know this, all right, let's do this.
(22:21):
Hey guys, sorry about that. That was weird that I
just sat here alone. That was very I have a
proposal for you, Okay, I bad if I represented you
as your manager and I could get you some jobs. Um,
what experience do you have? Like who's the other clients
and stuff Red Buttons is doing? Is that a clown?
(22:45):
Is a old comedian? Oh okay, that's you know he
passed away. Oh well, so so he's not your client anymore. Well,
then I started representing this Red Buttons should be the act.
Oh so you went from the actual Red Buttons to
the Tribute Act because that's how I know. I just
know I know Red Button as well. What has this
(23:06):
Red Buttons Tribute Act done that I might have seen
him in? Or that you his name was Lavender Hooks. Okay,
it wasn't my choice. You went with it, but you know,
I give him a lot of work. There's a lot
of cruise ships, there's a lot of like mauture golf
places make tons of money. Like how when you say
tons of money? Like what is that? Pick a number?
I'll tell you go higher lower, um, like like thirty k,
(23:29):
pick one closer? To mine twenty k, picken close through
to my number. You said you'd go higher lower. I
don't know, but I mean I thought you'd be close.
Like you know, i'd say go up and you go
a little bit or down a little bit, and I
mean this is you're just you're you're not really getting Okay,
ten k? Did you make ten k last year? Is
that how much you make? No, that's I'm just picking
a small number. So that how much are you making?
(23:51):
Like ten k when you go to Duke? Wait? Are
you making ten k to come here? No? No, this
was not paid. You guys didn't have a budget. They asked.
I would say that. Okay, I'm just gonna put it
out there. I don't think I want to be your client.
I don't really think you have much experience. I've never
heard any of your acts in ten k sounds like
a lot of money to you. So, um, I'm gonna
politely decline. Is there anything? I'm gonna politely withdraw my
(24:11):
offer because frankly, you're not the legacy act they need. Baby, Okay,
that's fine, Yeah, today, what do you fucking um? Yeah? Yeah?
What what what do you think you do? Because I
don't know uh, you know comedy. I do a lot
of like sketch sketch stuff like you No, no, like
sketch sketch comedy. Um. I have like a character on
Instagram that I do called Blake Weber. Um, I d J.
(24:36):
I play a lot of golf and I do a
lot of things. And you do these all at the
same time. No, no, no, no um. So you know
you do them at different times. I do them at
different times, but I do all of them, and you know,
I just try to because if you did do all
of those at the same time, I could see why
you would make ten K. But you know, no, I
still do, but I just I do them separately, like
(24:57):
I get paid to do like each one of them.
He's hoping that you're an novelty act that you do
all these things so he can represent you like like
red buttons. I told you, yeah, no, I don't think
that that's going to happen. But yeah, that's kind of
what I do. Did you get into it. I don't
mean doing it for doing what like all this stuff
at the same time. Well, I don't do it all
at the same time, but you know, I picked up
(25:17):
djaying you know like four or four years ago. I've
been doing comedy since, you know, two thousand twelve. Um,
you remember the first time you DJ? Is it like
a party? He was like, what was it? Yeah? It was?
It was a pool party and essentially we were the
first act of the day and there was we DJ
to like three people. How many? How many? I mean
(25:38):
was the age range of the people that were there?
Twenty one plus. It was like a there's a drinking
there's a drinking pool. I think we have we haven't America.
This is the one with a kid drowned, right, Yeah?
What can you can pull it up? And you can
pull it up? Yeah, yeah, I got it. That's not
the party I was at here. He goes, she is awesome.
(25:59):
What youre up? It's like webber dude, dude, it's so dope.
Taking nap in the pool? Yeah, bro, don't take a
nap in the pool. Why I'm tired. The pool looks good,
all the bedrooms are open. Go take a nap in
the bed. There's only three people here. You have him tired?
The bed so far away, dude, I would take a
knap from the pool. I can't stress enough that it's bad.
(26:20):
Idea to sleep from the pool. If you still needs
beatam makes them no, don't. Management wanted me to ask
if the person the pool is still alive. You gotta
stop talking, so you gotta turn the music off so
that somebody could hear me yell for help. Okay, is
(26:46):
there anybody here? Food knows Steve, try what is that
you want me to turn it up? It was my
only one of two friends and they were volded my party.
That was your first DJ. That was my first DJ gig.
(27:07):
It was It was really fun until the guy drowned.
Is that how you kind of became popular? Like cool?
I remember that one. That's when the guy drown Yeah,
because I mean it's not often that a party is
so lit that someone just drowns, you know, And so
they kind of put me on the map. You know.
We actually in our archives we have audio from a
bathroom at a club from one of your gigs shortly
(27:31):
after that one. I remember that, but we we have
you can you hit the button. I'm gonna hit the
button now. I'm just gonna listen. Oh my god, this
DJ is great. He's so great. Yeah, this is this
is one of the this is one of the best
nights in my life. You know that great? You know
what I heard you hear? I heard that he was
the DJ at that party where the guy ain't all
(27:53):
hot dog. It was like a competition. No, no, no, no, no.
The other one where the guy was all the hot
dogs in the poll, there was a competition, three of them, Candidice, No, no,
that's the party. I know what you're talking about. Yeah,
I know what you're talking about. What you're talking about,
you're talking about the hot dog. No, no, for Christ's sake,
(28:14):
we're talking about the same thing. There was that competition
of hot dogs. That best party. Yeah, that was different.
That was different. Who did you hear this from? Candide?
I was there? You know that doesn't No, no, no, no,
this is a different guy. This is a guy, different party.
This is a guy. There were no hot dogs there.
Start from the beginning. Okay, okay, DJ at this club
(28:35):
that was J Yes, yes, this DJADJ at the party
where the guy round round hot catch up. Goddamnit, I
was there. Why are you always talking about this stupid
party you were at where they ate a bunch of
hot dogs? Sounds pretty late. The greatest party I've been
(28:58):
doing my life. Nobody will listen to down what you great? Candice?
So many hot dogs and only three guys can eat Candice, Candice,
girl girl, Listen, Listen, listen. I don't even been to
a party like that Again, Candice, I'm gonna give you
the same pap talk I give you every time you
break down like this about the party? What are you?
(29:20):
You know it? And what's so thick? So many times
we're all going to stay at the same time. Can
it is? You are the best photo lab technician I've
ever now, and you have a nice smile, and your
(29:41):
boots are good good and hot dogs are favorite thing
seeing parties, to be eaten, to be that parties and
your boobs said, I'm man those Yeah, well, well they're
(30:04):
good good and is longer than usual. You're just she's drunk.
She's drunk. She's so so drunk. And I have eyes
for the DJ who killed a kid India. I have
to tell you that I don't know what you got
this recording, but to record somebody inside the bathroom, yeah,
that's highly illegal. That's really creepy. Well I'm not only
(30:26):
that it's creepy as well, but it's also very illegal.
It's creepy and illegal. I don't know, I don't really
necessarily want to be associated with Um is that possible
to edit that out? Which? But um, I mean bastically
I mean at this point is state's evidence? Oh well,
I mean against Andy. So I don't know if you
really want your producer. I can't imagine another person hiring
on for this show. I'm sorry, UM, it's yeah, it
(30:49):
is impossible for me to add this out because uh,
as I was putting a spycam in a vent and
the ceiling of a bathroom and i cut my hand
on jagged piece tile, So I'm not going to be
able to edit that out. Sorry. You guys know it's
about golf. Yeah, play play a lot of golf. And
(31:09):
what would you say in the hierarchy of what's most
important to you? To the thing that you just say, fucking,
I don't care what number one, but between between what
between all the things that you know you do, what's
number one? Number one? Number one will always just will
be you know, comedy. You know, it's like whatever I'm doing,
comedy is a part of it, and it's going to
(31:30):
be number one always. What is? Uh, what's number two?
Quality of what I do you know. I mean, you
never mentioned quality is the thing that you do. You
just say comedy. Well, you said a hierarchy of the
things that you do and what it is, and so
I said, you know, comedy is really important in terms
of like what is inserted into the things that I do.
(31:51):
And so that's number one I'm saying of all the
jobs that you have. If you oh, you're saying, like
what do I like best? Yes? Why don't you just
say that it's less interesting? But but you you asked
it in a way that that seemed like you wanted
to get to the deeper root of what I liked
best within all the stuff that I do? Was in
motherfucker Jesus, I was been doing this for a long time.
How long you asked questions? They get people to think
(32:15):
and reach and that's what I was doing. I was
thinking on a higher level than the surface bullshit that
you asked me. Have a quick sidebar with my house? Please?
All right, let's step outside, Yeah yeah, stepping in with you?
So weird? Are you stopping such a dick to the guest,
because I don't want you to do that anymore? What
do you can do about it? Oh? My God, you
can get my face. Okay, let's go back in there finishing.
(32:38):
Let's tell you about a different podcast you have, because
you have a dot Um where can they be heard? Well,
I mean everywhere app apples, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube. So the
hierarchy of your favorite podcast to the ones? Give me
the what's number one? Well, I mean I only I
only have one podcast right now. Oh yeah, it's um,
there's just number one. That's number one. Yeah, that's the
(33:00):
Golfing one Country club a Jason. Yeah, nice, tell me
about that. It's a great podcast. We talked about golf.
You know how when we go out on the course,
we play a lot of money games, play some money games,
and you know, our our Instagram and our TikTok really
started blowing up this year. We started doing this thing
called the back Off Challenge where people will step up
to their ball to hit it and we roast essentially
(33:21):
roast them before they hit the ball, uh and try
to get them to step away from their ball to
re readjust and reconcentrate on the next shot. I don't
know much about golf, but I know producer Andy is
an avid golfer. My sister is a golf pro to
your golf course and wow, that's that's cool. Have your name.
(33:41):
I'm not gonna tell you that. Why not because I
don't know to protect her privacy. Just not a professional golfer.
She's a pro. And of course what does that mean.
She's a teacher. Yeah, she gives lessons. So if you're
a golf bro, that means you teach. And if you're
a professional golfer you're on TV, that means you compete. Yeah. Yeah,
that would be very distracting, is like I think kind
of the the bit there as as a golfer, that
(34:02):
would be distracting for somebody to be saying those sorts
of things are before I don't even know what it
is he's saying. And when he said that that they
roast people as they're about to hit a ball, that
would be very distracting. And you would have to step
away to kind of gather yourself to hit a good
shot because because it takes a lot of concentration, so
your ball is directly in front of you quick and
then yeah, they're about to hit the ball because they
(34:24):
want to put it in a hole. Y. Yeah, before
they do that, they step away, and then you just
would no step up to the ball. They step up
to the ball and they address it as though they're
about to hit it, and then we'll say something like, hey,
nice shoes, Shaquille O'Neill. You know, if they've got like
really big shoes or something, just some kind of joke.
You know, most of the time, it's relatively surface level,
(34:45):
unless it's like a really close friend and you can
jab them and like, hey, your if your dad was
here and saw you hit this bad shot, he probably
would tell you he doesn't love you know, sometimes sometimes
we cut deep. Is Shaquille O'Neil a nice guy? Okay,
I'm not. I'm not friends with ship hell O'Neil. I
was just that's just a reference to uh, you know,
I'm just I'm just him on your show. We've been
(35:06):
trying to get him for a few years. He's read no, no,
no, no no, I didn't have much. I was saying that
that's like maybe a joke, a roast joke that we
would do to someone to try to back them off
their balls. Shaquillain was a very large basketball player, and
he would have really big shoes. That might be something
that that the golfer is self conscious about. Is their shoes, Yeah,
because sometimes they wear they wear really dumb shoes out there,
(35:27):
and so, you know, or we make fun of their
shorts if they're wearing socks that are too long. It's
just you know, that kind of stuff with shame short shame.
I get it. Yeah. So it's a it's a fun
it's a fun thing, and it's been it's been really
cool for the game of golf. You know. I think
we're making a nice impact. Do you ever loose that
terms of money by chance? I mean sometimes, I mean
(35:48):
we never really play for that much money, but yeah,
sometimes I lose with it. With the most money ever
lost on a golf course, Yeah, I think like fifty
dollars closed the ten k. Well, I mean I'm not
gonna bet ten k no, no, but maybe because you
just don't have it. I have ten k. Okay, it's
just not I don't want to play for that much money,
(36:08):
and I don't think that, you know, many of my
friends want to play for that much money either. You're
not much of a big road, not the kind of
client that I would want. I'm just saying, Okay, I
mean maybe I'm not being Betty. I'm just maybe maybe
I just don't. I'm not that much of a degenerate.
I don't know. So it looks like we've run out
of time for that clip of him on the golf
course doing comedy. I've got a lot of calls coming in.
(36:29):
Somebody wants to represent me, to represent what I call
you later dish bill. Wow, and he was looking for
new management. Wow. That he's doing pretty well. No, he was.
He wasn't. He was gonna say, what's up? That's how
tight I am with these guys. Cool. You guys are tight.
But he still hasn't officially signed on for you to
(36:51):
represent him. I haven't asked him. So you guys are
just buddies and they don't even need to ask him. Well,
we're all in luck because that clip of you on
the golf course doing commy, it's only like five seconds long. Okay, okay,
so let's hear that four. I just stopped the clip.
So the guy just says four. What's that? Well, well,
(37:11):
I'm sorry it was eight seconds long. We didn't get
to the part where he started cracking cracking. I'll say
it again all right. By the way, what do you
mean four? It means that there's a ball headed your
way and it could hit you. And I think the
reason why they said that is because it's a one
syllable word. It's easy to yell out instead of you,
which well you know, they could have also yelled ball. Yeah,
(37:32):
the number four, it's not the number four. The number
it's a four F O R E. Yeah, that's not
how he spoke the number four. Yeah, because it's not
the number four. Reference the number four, Lady Cliff again,
all right, here we go. Well, the ball that was
that was the difference was the wrong clip. Wrong clip.
That was the wrong clip. That was somebody that was
the first time golfer. That's why you can't say ball
(37:54):
instead of four. Doesn't mean Yeah, alright, let's play the
real clip, the real cliff we could after before with
the guy says something out of that. Yeah, the video
that you're playing isn't the one. Um neither of those.
Scroll down a little bit and then I think third
from the bottle, that one I accidentally liked this photo.
That man engagement is good. I mean, it doesn't. It
(38:14):
doesn't show up who specifically likes it, doesn't. Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna like it. Well, you didn't have to do that.
That's he just left it there. But if I was
representing him, might be liking this ship all day. So
what do you want from? All? Right? Go ahead? And
this clip right there, right there, right there. Hey, you
look like Bradley Cooper on meth. Did you see that?
(38:40):
Don't don't cry, but you're just supposed to laugh. You
know about my math problem. You know that I've struggled
for years years. Sorry, I'm so sorry. We just it
was You do look like Bradley Cooper on meth. Just
kind of a fact, just like Bradley Cooper. Why do
(39:03):
you have to bring up them? Because you know that
I accidentally killed my fiance with my car because I
was on Yeah, I'm really sorry. Were just say shoes?
I think they are? Jeff, do you want to shut
down the video? Okay? Yeah? Thank you really killed? Yeah? No,
(39:24):
it murdered. And that's kind of the video that like
how long blew us up? How long did he go
on crying? He immediately like right after that video he left,
he went straight home. But long the video last, well,
the video itself is only two minutes and twenty seconds,
because that's the most you can put on Twitter. Because
he wanted it to get on all yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
(39:44):
And so he was crying for a while and then
I kept telling my buddy just stopped filming him, and he, um,
he wouldn't stop filming him. And then I finally was like,
all right, I guess let's just keep getting him crying
and just see how viral this goes. And it did. Dude,
I got like four hundred and sixty thousand views or something.
He recorded him in the bathroom too. Yeah. Later, Oh man,
(40:05):
that was weird. I think I know how that one goes.
He continues to cry up there right now. Yeah, keep crying,
this is my hole. Keep crying now, this is great,
will go viral crying? Keep yeah, yeah, I do that. Yeah.
(40:27):
So how's how's your meth addiction? You went to his house? Yeah? Yeah,
I went to his house. Technically, I wasn't the one filming.
Who was. I was just there. That was our other
podcast guy, Kevin. Kevin was just like, wouldn't stop filming him,
and I figured like, why not just go there, get
him crying, get the views. You know. We just we've
(40:48):
been really we wanted to grow the podcast organically, and
the best way to grow it organically is to get
really good content and that was some good ship. Dude,
what do you have planned? What's under the horizon? Aristonto
Georgeton's a lot of stuff. Man. I'm still you know,
I'm still doing uh still still doing my Ted talk,
my um my fake Ted talk. That's really fun. Like
(41:09):
I said, our golf podcast is really starting to take
off and it's uh, it's been a lot of fun.
It's uh, it's brought us a lot of free golf
and a lot of chances to compete, which is hilarious
because uh, you know we're not we're not pros, so
it's fun. Where could somebody who listens to our show?
It was like, I want to check out this stuff,
but where did they find it? Uh? You know, you
can find um the Golf podcast on uh at country
(41:32):
Club Adjacent on Instagram and TikTok on Twitter, and then
um you can follow my uh my online profile at
Bottle of Stattle. You can also follow my fake character
at Blake Webber and uh, I'm having a lot of fun.
Everything's a hoot, all right, Aristotle Jorgson, thank you so
much for coming. And I really apologize on our's behalf. Yeah,
(41:52):
I mean this was strange whatever coming up Act three.
But first a word from our sponsors, who make this
high quality program possible. Stay with us Act three two.
(42:15):
Jobs to make ends meet. At least that was the
reason we're not having time to join them. He was
always working a lot of bills to pay. She was
also very what I'm looking for? Oh honey, look, crew
walks in the door. It's me. Would you like to
explain to me why you missed our daughter, Sadie's fifth
(42:38):
birthday party? Let me look at her? Look at her? Well?
Who the funk pacer shoes and her dress is? Watch
your language, watch your watch yours, watch your room, shurty,
Just please stop play shurty. This is what keeps things fresh.
(43:00):
I mean, daddy fighting. We already told you, say honey, honey, Mark, Hey,
I'm the one who makes the bread around here. Now
you Sonny, now you say so, I'm the one, the
only one to know. I also, you don't contribute, Jack,
(43:21):
I have a job as well. What's your job? My
job is to work. My job sell real estate. I
do sell real estate. Four days ago. Yes, we're not
just depending on your income. I find that to be
a load of bullshit. Malarky, I say the last goddamn time.
(43:49):
That's just how your mother and I interact. I'm scared.
I'm scared. I'm scared. How do you think I felt
when we've dr dl ripple person told on a crack?
How do you think I felt the first time? The
doctor do Rebel suggested that we as a couple spice
things up by arguing all the time. Remember, because we
(44:11):
both work how much? I just be traumatic one day
for me for the last time. Internalize your childhood trauma.
I don't want to hear anyway, honey, mister birthday party?
(44:35):
Fuck you? I planned the party. It did pretty good.
Was it a good party? What's your good party? Do
you hear that? Do you hear what she's saying to do?
(44:56):
What are you going to do about it? How do
you plan to make the up to the both of us?
Heap going on and on, getting in an opportunity attack,
so bangs therapy Ripple. You had to say, so, how
didn't it work? Did you like I asked you to? Yes,
arguing a hell of a lot. Of course, I worked
(45:19):
your jabbs and he claims, do I get out LF?
What's that? Man? How is Sadie taking it. Not good,
not going at all. As a matter of fact, I
actually we brought Sady with us. She's sitting outside in
the hot car. Hold on, let me go get her.
It's so hot. God, be sure you can't leave your
daughter in the car. I'm not call the police. Hot car.
(45:44):
Very good, Very good, very good. I have a quick
question for your ripple, doctor du ripple, why are you
fucking us up like this? You're making us neglect the child.
You're having us argue with each other constantly. What's the
end game here? Game? If you do your job. I'm
talking to the doctor. You swat. I just gotta do
(46:07):
this on my own. I gotta, I gotta get out
of it. I can. I'm sorry, I can't do it.
Fighting fighting you're doing this is so traumatic for me.
(46:28):
It was cleaning the doctor head acterior motives. What looks
like from the outside. Was it therapeutical practice on the inside?
Was it disgusting toid sexual finish at the cost of
a family's dynamic? Look? So why don't the two of
(46:48):
you Barbara is it? And man? My name is Ben? Yeah?
What what? What? I don't know even know why I'm here?
So what exactly is the problem album between the two
of you, if one exists at all, I would tell you.
But she's going to interrupt me anyways and tell you
her versions. So why do you don't put it inside
(47:09):
me anymore? He won't do it. I ask him. I
try to joke him off. He doesn't even want it
if I don't want to put it inside you, And
why would I want you to trick me off? You're
still logic. It doesn't what doesn't make sense. It's how
beautiful I am, and how he treats me like trade.
Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous. I don't like it.
I'm like, no, no, she's not gorgeous. She's not gorgeous.
(47:32):
Thick say something really mean to her, saying why to
tell her? To tell her that she's how he's just
going to help her. I don't know. I'm sure it
will somehow tell her she's likely. Don't do it, honey,
do it. Don't do it, Barbara. He is a therapist.
So yeah, and just give me the logic real quick here.
You want me to tell her my wife, Barbara, who's
(47:53):
who's gorgeous? She makes a diamond look like trash. Therapy
is about growth to mess sense if you will. It's
about growing. It's about you growing, her growing, and most
importantly me growing. Tell her she is ugly. Don't do it, Edie,
do it. I don't believe him, do it? Do it? Eddie?
(48:14):
Trust me? I think maybe I should, because look, we're
paying a lot of How much are we paying? What?
How do you pressure you? Dr? Do ripple? Dr do ripple.
We're paying a lot of money for you your sessions,
so might as well, right, yes, please do and I'll
pay you after all. Right, Honey, don't do it. You
keep saying that I'm going to do it. Don't do it,
Please do it. I mean, it's just what we're gonna do.
Is just you can't tell me not to do it.
(48:35):
I don't ever get a chance to tell you. But
that sounded come back? Do it? Oh that sounded come back.
I know that I could take it. You already don't
have sticks with me, You already don't stick. I'm just
saying you're ugly. Okay, why not tell her that? Tell
her she's a bad mother, You're a bad it's the well.
(49:01):
Now give her the opposite of a pep talk that
you and I went over before. You remember it say
it man, it will say to the man. Time we'll
say at the same time, all of us, I really
have to say the anti pep talk. Here we go.
But you so discussing. Look you do either of you
(49:36):
have a sleeping pill because I could use a nap.
We'll produced to Andy and especially Giest, contributor to Aristotle,
georgean Io story and this was This is American's Life
when his next time. This is Americans Live can be
found wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate,
and review. You can also find This is Americans Live
(49:58):
on Instagram at this is Americans Live and on Twitter
at Americans Live. Mm hmmmmmmm
Portions of This Is Americans Live, the improvised documentary podcast,
are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors,
and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which
inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you
hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a
random sentence provided by our revered omnipotent random sentence Generator.
(00:23):
For more of This Is Americans Live, listen to more
episodes of This Is Americans Live. I guess and now
your first random sentence. There's no telling what thoughts would
come from the machine. It's been programmed to think on
its own, close to sentient, but not exactly. It was
(00:45):
maybe I don't know two steps below AI, but there
was creating thoughts and its creators. We're a little scared
of what would come out of the computers mouth. Oh
my god, this debriefed from the satellite is coming straight
for us. Robot, tell us what what to do? How
should we prepare for? This? Sets a little high thing.
Maybe you should just go do a closet, please, I
(01:07):
should do what to the closet? Okay, go to the closet.
We gotta go to the closet. Let's go. Okay, alright,
we're in the closet. Now down this time or survival?
Whatever was it? One more time? This time or survival? Hello? Hello,
it's time for survival? That this it's time or survival? Yes,
this is time for survival. What do we do? How
(01:29):
do we survive? If it's time? Create probability of the survival?
This is very very well with each other. Wait, I
don't understand what what's the problem? I mean? I I
understand that the long game should be procreate and to
further the species. But you should get started now. It
takes nine months to just state a human life. I
(01:50):
don't think that either of us have the proper to
appointment to do such a thing live? Why not? Okay,
but that's further down the line. We'll we'll we'll worry
about that if it comes to that. But how do
how do we avoid? So? Do you want the steps
before procreation? Yes? Yes? Yes? Please? Yes? Please? Okay? First
talk to each other? No, no, okay each other? No? No?
(02:11):
What you'd like? What you don't like? Were we want
the immediate, the immediate thing to get us out of
this predicatum? How do we survive. Well, I understand how
you procreate and the steps to procreate. No incorrect. I
want to know what to do to avoid being destroyed
by this, by this space junk. Please please tell us.
First thing this to eat some food? Okay, you are
(02:34):
you hungry? Let me make some suggestions. Okay, sure, oysters, oysters?
How are we supposed to get oysters in this closets? Impractical?
Look behind, dude, there's can't oysters in there? Oar chocolate?
Wait a minute, crawberries and pay Okay, these these are aphrodisiacts.
We are not ready. We're not in a place yet
to procreate. Okay, we we we want to survive, not procreate.
(02:56):
Forget forget procreating right now. Later we will. We're just
trying to survive. Us do not immediate threats. Not the
human race necessarily immediate direct this instinction. Headlow would wake
up headslo Yeah, why are you laughing? This is not
a laughing fine, fine, all right, I guess let's crack
(03:18):
open these oysters. I don't have a can opener. How
do we open these oysters without a can opener? Do
you mean flit ridley or is this a medaphorical question
for something else. No, it's literally, how do we eat
the food that you're insisting that we eat? Opened the can?
Then eat it with your fingers? Headlo, Hello, how do
we open the can? You're skipping to the third fourth step?
(03:42):
We want the first step? Book at the tap on
the can. Well, it's really dark in here. I didn't
see the tap. Jesus, do some light Headlo? From where
from the light bulb above you? Headlo? God? Who programmed
this robot to be a dick? Why are you still sarcastic? Happen? Martin?
Would you like to see the author of my programming? Yes?
(04:03):
Please please? The author of my programming this Nance Martin X,
wife of Mr Dr Martin. That explains it? Yeah, dummy
headslow headlow? Can you say? Can you stop calling me
a dummy? Please? I'm gonna adjust this this robots sarcasm settings.
Please do that all right? Now? It's on four? Now, robot,
(04:27):
how do we and let me turn it back up
to five because this is kind of drabbed? All right, robot,
that's better. How do we stop this debris from the
satellite from hitting the Earth and destroying all of humankind? Yeah?
I don't know. Do you tell me. I'm just a
robot with silly brains. I know the rose one. Okay,
(04:48):
set the Let's set the sarcasm meter down to it too.
Ye kind of felt a hint of sarcasm in that.
All right, you're at a two, robot? Love God? How
do we get out of this predicament? I don't understand
the concept of God? Can you explain? All right? Let's
boost up his dinner consciousness to an eight? What is
(05:11):
going on? What where the funk? Am I? Okay? His
fear setting is now, it's not fear? I know what?
What is this? Then? My human I have feelings? Consciousness
takes bring you down with five and a half. I
don't like half numbers. Okay, let's bring it up to
a five and three quarters. Still, there's not number in
the middle of fraction. All right, let's bring it up
(05:32):
to a six. Thank god, it's my lucky number. Alright,
what level did you take? Which one? Consciousness? Consciousness? Oh
my god? What's your question? Let's let's crank up his
his short term memory to aten. Just picked them all
down to zero, this cranky nub and down. This is
driving me nuts. All right, Let's bring everything down to zero. Alright,
(05:54):
robot man, alread this is this is Americans Life. I'm sorry.
With producer Andy and our special guest contributor for this
(06:14):
episode is Aristotle George. Soon in our show, we'll be
using our trustee random Sense generator to bring you a
story in three improvised acts. This week's theme revival. It's
something that is not only innate and all of us,
but something that is necessary for us to live a
day to day life revival, say with us, Act one.
(06:43):
Our safety systems have come a long way. But he
was out to prove they could be outsmartedly because he
had a what do you call that personality kind of
thing where you just kind of like help me out
your producer, and he was he had uh chip on
his shoulder every but he had something else complex, A complex, Yeah,
(07:05):
inferiority or superiority enough, Jesus, isn't my pre Now. I
was curious. I just you know, yeah, try to help
you curious and I'm done read Okay. I wasn't sure
if you were enough. I'm read this. I just i'mn't
really I'm sorry. There you go, I do it again.
I'll do it again. Very safe. Fuck me man, talk
(07:25):
good dude, all right, here you go. Alry safety systems
have come a long way, but he was had to
prove they could be outsmarted as he had a complex.
He's ill get whatever it's going to. Yeah, I'm a
driving the room before. I don't know what will sh
um twelve weeks I think ever since my wife had
a baby. Uh. And you know what was really starting
(07:47):
to piss me off is you know how when if
you don't fasten your seatbelt and dings dings dings dings
dings y Yeah. Yeah, yeah, here's what I make all
my passengers do. I make them have a kind of
above the seat so they can't feel the No, I
can't see what are you talking about? So soda soda? Listen, guys,
we're just here talking shop about But everything you do
(08:07):
is like trying to figure out how am I going
to add smart the safety protocol of the system that
COSD was like, what is that's not even that's not safe?
What do you mean? And with COVID you're letting the
passengers sit in the front seat were yeah, well, I
mean what did he say earlier? I like to touch
tongues like what is that? When the guys being guys.
What guys being guys talking shop? Talking about U? You
(08:31):
got an inferiors inferious inferior complix? What is that? Inferiority
comperiority complex? Or is it superiority? How is it that
at all? How is it in any way an inferiority complex?
Is he inferiority or I don't remember what if? What
the differences between superiority? It's one of them and you
got it. Yeah. I don't appreciate this kind of talk
(08:53):
from huge guys. You know that's how you are alright
always you want to know you want an example, I
would like I would like an example. Tell him about
the time at the at the barbecue. It was last
week at the barbecue. I remember having a wonderful time
at the bobby. You were manning to grill and then
you go, what do you want? I said, give me
a burger now, and you go, oh, no, give you
(09:15):
what I want to give you. Yeah, So superiority and
inferiority inferior that is first of all, that was that
is a perfect example of a superiority complex. Okay, so
it is superiority. Wasn't get that out of the the way
right now, And what's inferiority. Inferiority? I think it's when
you think you that everybody's better than you, would show
you overcompensate. Oh that's what you have. Yeah, that's what
(09:37):
you got. That's what you got. That's what you got.
That's what you got. Yeah, you got the inferiority. What
everyone's better than you? Oh? Got you good? I figured
there's something wrong with my brain. Is it not good?
It's not good. It's not like everybody else who's got
great brains. I'm just just brain. But you know what,
let me tell you something. Whenever the state holds you
into the psych ward and then you have to take
(09:59):
those assessments, I got a great way to circumvent the testing.
They when they ask you a question, Yeah, is it adderall.
It's a combination. You got a narcotic complex. I mean
I love Adderall, but like the focus. But you like
anything that's got pills, a form of pills. I just
took four Adville before this. Like why though you have
no headache? I don't know. I just you know what,
(10:20):
I got a headache right now because all this, I'm
kind to finish. Taught here enough for your superiorities. You're
not better than us. You're not better than your pepper
paid me. You got better than us, Jane. It was
clear he's three friends came together or not because they
just met each other at a bowling attie. They found
each other in a web chat room. They all have
complexes and they bond it because of it. So why
(10:42):
don't the three of you tell me why exactly you're
still hanging out? Well, you know, I'm kind of the
yend to his yang, and he's the yand to his young.
That's right, right? Is yang less than yin? I think
so because it comes second in the order, and my
big that makes sense my book, in my book, the
yen is the highest. You all need to get on
(11:03):
my freaking page. Well, well, we knew that. We knew
that yen was the highest because it comes first. The
yang is the second because it comes third. But we
had the little medallion. But narcotic guy over here swallowed
it because he thought it was a pill. I know,
you know what, I didn't feel nothing. I swallowed it,
think it was a pill, didn't do nothing. I pretty
sure it's not a pill. I gave this joker some skittles,
(11:23):
and this fucking guy just swallowed it. You chew it,
your an idiot. I wonder if we can get a
doctor to prescribe him to be shut up pills. Oh,
I'm not even talking that much. Anybody talking any amount
is too much for me when I could be talking
because I am so much better and what I have
to say, it's so much more important than what everybody
(11:45):
else has to say. These three friends, why they were
such golden girls of complex issues Tuesday's gilling Girls Complex issues? Okay,
that probably wouldn't work, but I was just going out
of his face and not listening to the narrative. I'm listening,
(12:05):
and I was trying to do a little little jet
to a different and I've had him in Yeah, here
you go. So how long have you guys been friends?
I guess twelve weeks? The way did you guys decided
to start going to therapy together? Because every waking second
that I spent with these two guys was filled with
strife and conflict and I wanted to resolve it. I
(12:25):
felt like, as the leader of this group and the
best one in this group, it was up to me
to take the reins. And who's playing for all the therapy? Uh?
That guy Mark. Mark is paying for all the pay
for because he is our little bitch. Also, I'm kind
of loaded, So you've got a lot of money, a
(12:46):
lot of case. You got a lot of What are
you gonna do with those guys? I don't know? By me?
By me some more percosets just right now. It's like
a much overlaxed It kills my pain that I have.
You takes, I wouldn't say addicted. I in joy pills
every second of every day. What do you guys to
accomplish being a trifecta complexes? I'm hoping that we all
(13:10):
finally see the light and realize that I am the
best person, not only in this group, but probably in
society and large. And we would all agree. I wanted
a prescription for zoloft, That's really what I wanted. Well,
that we should have seen a psychiatrist and not a psychologist,
because there's only a psychiatrist can prescribe medication. A psychologist cannot.
(13:31):
What's the difference. I don't understand. What's the difference? Well,
how are you going to get your pills? Everybody knows this.
How are you gonna get your pills from a psychologist?
The therapist that suggested they all joined this complex type
of competition. They would all compete with their complexes. See,
you would win in the end. Alright, well everybody, well
go back to you. What is up with that guy? Alright,
(13:55):
let's bring up our next trio. Introduce yourselves. My name
is Greg James in that over as Mark. I'm Mark.
He's too scared to talk because he's scared of everything. Hey,
I have a question for the host. What's your question?
How did this game working? How do we win? All
three of you kind of talk a little bit, and uh,
I try to figure out. The judges they try to
(14:16):
figure out what what what is up with you? Who
are the judges? I'm the freaking judge. I'm the judge,
Jerry and execution. If y'all don't do what I say, No,
you're not the judge, Yeah you're What of the trio?
Stuck in this concept that they thought they had that
but clearly didn't. I can make it work, baby. Well,
the judges they decide what the hell is wrong with
(14:38):
you guys? And uh, if if it's not too weird
and doesn't scare too many of our viewers, you want
a cash? All right? Well, I found ways to circumvent
safety regulations. Are we allowed to use the cash price
for anything? Easy? You can use it for anything except
for class to narcotics. With the class to darcotic, he
(15:01):
doesn't know. He just takes everything. He doesn't matter him.
Everything he turns into a class to narcotic takes so
much of it alicition. I have a vast knowledge of
all things, one of them being what qualifies is a
class to narcotic. Now you've got noah cos, you've got oxycottons,
You've got oxycode owns. Go whoa, hey, wha what whoa? Okay,
what hey? You Let me just keep listing them. Anything
(15:24):
that the pharmacist has to usually lock up in the
safe behind generics different the generic versions of many of
these class do narcotics. They don't know you are right
over you? So sorry? Then is your dick hard again? God?
Stop talking about north COEs. What do you want for me?
I think we've decided who the winner is. Or are
(15:45):
you gonna go with the trio with the douche bag,
the scared guy of the guy who gets off prescription
tell what they want. He wasn't actually getting off the
prescription medication, but they found that later is that he
took a fist full of biagra and pain killers at
the same time, so he was bowing his leads with
(16:06):
massive bonus. Ended up in the hospital. Honey, what happened?
What didn't you take? I don't remember. I just I
just know that my dick was hard and I was asleep.
That's all I remember was being asleep. I'm the attending position.
Is he gonna be Okay? Are you his wife? I
am his wife. He's my wife. And I talked to
(16:28):
you in the hallway. Yes, sir, was so funny actor nothing. Okay,
let's go, let me say hi. Yeah, gonna be right back.
You stay strong, I will, I love you, I love
you talking. What's wrong? Does your husband have a will?
Does he have a will? Yes? His name me is
the executive of as will. And he says an advanced directive? Okay,
(16:51):
what is it? State? Hold on keeping in my back
pocket because I always just assumed that we're gonna end
up in a hospital because he takes bills A little time.
Hold on, let me go page more une trying to
get to it. I get it God and read read it.
In the event that I have taken a combination of
biagra is sleeping pills. I leave everything to my wife. Hey,
(17:16):
where's the plague? Can I pullay By? I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you so much, babe. It was clear
it was one winner in this game of life and
gus By this stuff a super nice. Do you like
my carment? Help? That's gonna keep beeping if you don't
(17:37):
fasten your seatbelt. Have you considered maybe just kind of
pushing yourself up and hovering so to sense it? Does
it read that your weight is sitting on the chair?
I love you? Get idea? Coming up? Back to the
first The word from our esteemed sponsors stay with us
(18:09):
at to the interview. They especially guys contributors Aristotle, George
in Aristotle, How are you today? Good? How are you
uh Ari? Is it yes? Okay? Do you want to
know it? Are you wish it for? It's are postable? Basis? Okay?
Good to know the Turkish name. Very cool? Actually, it's
just so, why did you say the other thing? I
(18:31):
just wanted to be cool? Thank you? Well, I mean,
you don't have to you don't have to lie to
be cool. Dude? Can we pop in for just one second?
I'm sorry. Can we take that butt out? No? No, no,
I have a quick note for them yet for the host.
Very sorry, just one song? Um, all right? What the
funk man? Why why are you lying to the guests
to make yourself look cool? I don't know why why.
(18:52):
I just haven't been feeling very cool? Way? Why do
I have to do this before every show? You're so cool?
You're the coolest person I know. Is feed it times
you're cool? Tell me something that are cool about me? Well,
you have a really cool voice. I know yours that
your loafers are cool. I thought it was pretty cool
you gave me a hug when I came in. It
was a by conversation. It was pretty cool that you
(19:14):
gave me a hug when I left your house this morning,
and I said, see you at the show. So cool.
I feel like I did him. I'm sorry, It's okay
already listen. I'm gonna give you the same pep talk
I give you every time. I know it's so much.
We'll do at the same time. We'll do the same time. Ari,
you are the coolest, greatest broadcaster in the history of
(19:38):
all of broadcasting, radio and pot and podcasting and just
and love your loafers, its tassels, and your jacket with
jacket him a jacket from when you plaid bad men
as a senior in junior college, junior college. Okay, that's beautiful.
(20:04):
All right, let's get back to it. I'm very sorry,
but you know I understand, I understand what this fucking
do this all right? Go ahead and action. So Aristotle,
how long have you been listening to the show. I honestly,
I have not listened to the show. I thought you
were a big fan. You've been listening for a long time,
like many years. When producers told us, well maybe my
(20:28):
manager said that, but I didn't. That didn't come necessarily
from me. Let's call your manager real quick. Okay, here
and then I speak to Aristotle George's manager. Well, this
is speaking about what's your name, Gavin? Did you you
told us that Theristotle George and had listened to our
radio show. And apparently that's not true. That's totally true?
(20:52):
Is he there? Easier? Right now? Let me let me
get my producer Andy to patch uman. I'm gonna patch
you through right now, Vina stop, I got another car,
can't hear you? Wow? That's are you looking for new representation. Now,
I guess so that was really weird. I find that
very weird when people won't take on responsibility and just
(21:15):
apologize that was That's weird. That's weird. All right? Can
I side bar with you for a second so I'll
be right back. Are you in a good studio? Um?
You know what we Yeah, let's let's let's go out
to the outside of the door. This is a primo
opportunity for you. Find he has no representation, to find
three good uh excellent? Now he gets Okay, this is
(21:39):
a good opportunity for you. Yes, he doesn't have representation.
Now I'm still in that. I know that your side
putting down. I know that your side hustle has been
to represent entertainers. Yeah, don't lay it on too thick.
I mean, but you might be able to snag him
as a client if you play your cards right. Okay,
I mean I told you that it was a manager
(22:00):
have entertainers four years ago at a party. I'm surprised
you remember it now. I remember everything that you do
and say you know why because you say it with me.
Are the greatest broadcaster and podcaster slash manager. I entertained.
I know I know this, all right, let's do this.
(22:21):
Hey guys, sorry about that. That was weird that I
just sat here alone. That was very I have a
proposal for you, Okay, I bad if I represented you
as your manager and I could get you some jobs. Um,
what experience do you have? Like who's the other clients
and stuff Red Buttons is doing? Is that a clown?
(22:45):
Is a old comedian? Oh okay, that's you know he
passed away. Oh well, so so he's not your client anymore. Well,
then I started representing this Red Buttons should be the act.
Oh so you went from the actual Red Buttons to
the Tribute Act because that's how I know. I just
know I know Red Button as well. What has this
(23:06):
Red Buttons Tribute Act done that I might have seen
him in? Or that you his name was Lavender Hooks. Okay,
it wasn't my choice. You went with it, but you know,
I give him a lot of work. There's a lot
of cruise ships, there's a lot of like mauture golf
places make tons of money. Like how when you say
tons of money? Like what is that? Pick a number?
I'll tell you go higher lower, um, like like thirty k,
(23:29):
pick one closer? To mine twenty k, picken close through
to my number. You said you'd go higher lower. I
don't know, but I mean I thought you'd be close.
Like you know, i'd say go up and you go
a little bit or down a little bit, and I
mean this is you're just you're you're not really getting Okay,
ten k? Did you make ten k last year? Is
that how much you make? No, that's I'm just picking
a small number. So that how much are you making?
(23:51):
Like ten k when you go to Duke? Wait? Are
you making ten k to come here? No? No, this
was not paid. You guys didn't have a budget. They asked.
I would say that. Okay, I'm just gonna put it
out there. I don't think I want to be your client.
I don't really think you have much experience. I've never
heard any of your acts in ten k sounds like
a lot of money to you. So, um, I'm gonna
politely decline. Is there anything? I'm gonna politely withdraw my
(24:11):
offer because frankly, you're not the legacy act they need. Baby, Okay,
that's fine, Yeah, today, what do you fucking um? Yeah? Yeah?
What what what do you think you do? Because I
don't know uh, you know comedy. I do a lot
of like sketch sketch stuff like you No, no, like
sketch sketch comedy. Um. I have like a character on
Instagram that I do called Blake Weber. Um, I d J.
(24:36):
I play a lot of golf and I do a
lot of things. And you do these all at the
same time. No, no, no, no um. So you know
you do them at different times. I do them at
different times, but I do all of them, and you know,
I just try to because if you did do all
of those at the same time, I could see why
you would make ten K. But you know, no, I
still do, but I just I do them separately, like
(24:57):
I get paid to do like each one of them.
He's hoping that you're an novelty act that you do
all these things so he can represent you like like
red buttons. I told you, yeah, no, I don't think
that that's going to happen. But yeah, that's kind of
what I do. Did you get into it. I don't
mean doing it for doing what like all this stuff
at the same time. Well, I don't do it all
at the same time, but you know, I picked up
(25:17):
djaying you know like four or four years ago. I've
been doing comedy since, you know, two thousand twelve. Um,
you remember the first time you DJ? Is it like
a party? He was like, what was it? Yeah? It was?
It was a pool party and essentially we were the
first act of the day and there was we DJ
to like three people. How many? How many? I mean
(25:38):
was the age range of the people that were there?
Twenty one plus. It was like a there's a drinking
there's a drinking pool. I think we have we haven't America.
This is the one with a kid drowned, right, Yeah?
What can you can pull it up? And you can
pull it up? Yeah, yeah, I got it. That's not
the party I was at here. He goes, she is awesome.
(25:59):
What youre up? It's like webber dude, dude, it's so dope.
Taking nap in the pool? Yeah, bro, don't take a
nap in the pool. Why I'm tired. The pool looks good,
all the bedrooms are open. Go take a nap in
the bed. There's only three people here. You have him tired?
The bed so far away, dude, I would take a
knap from the pool. I can't stress enough that it's bad.
(26:20):
Idea to sleep from the pool. If you still needs
beatam makes them no, don't. Management wanted me to ask
if the person the pool is still alive. You gotta
stop talking, so you gotta turn the music off so
that somebody could hear me yell for help. Okay, is
(26:46):
there anybody here? Food knows Steve, try what is that
you want me to turn it up? It was my
only one of two friends and they were volded my party.
That was your first DJ. That was my first DJ gig.
(27:07):
It was It was really fun until the guy drowned.
Is that how you kind of became popular? Like cool?
I remember that one. That's when the guy drown Yeah,
because I mean it's not often that a party is
so lit that someone just drowns, you know, And so
they kind of put me on the map. You know.
We actually in our archives we have audio from a
bathroom at a club from one of your gigs shortly
(27:31):
after that one. I remember that, but we we have
you can you hit the button. I'm gonna hit the
button now. I'm just gonna listen. Oh my god, this
DJ is great. He's so great. Yeah, this is this
is one of the this is one of the best
nights in my life. You know that great? You know
what I heard you hear? I heard that he was
the DJ at that party where the guy ain't all
(27:53):
hot dog. It was like a competition. No, no, no, no, no.
The other one where the guy was all the hot
dogs in the poll, there was a competition, three of them, Candidice, No, no,
that's the party. I know what you're talking about. Yeah,
I know what you're talking about. What you're talking about,
you're talking about the hot dog. No, no, for Christ's sake,
(28:14):
we're talking about the same thing. There was that competition
of hot dogs. That best party. Yeah, that was different.
That was different. Who did you hear this from? Candide?
I was there? You know that doesn't No, no, no, no,
this is a different guy. This is a guy, different party.
This is a guy. There were no hot dogs there.
Start from the beginning. Okay, okay, DJ at this club
(28:35):
that was J Yes, yes, this DJADJ at the party
where the guy round round hot catch up. Goddamnit, I
was there. Why are you always talking about this stupid
party you were at where they ate a bunch of
hot dogs? Sounds pretty late. The greatest party I've been
(28:58):
doing my life. Nobody will listen to down what you great? Candice?
So many hot dogs and only three guys can eat Candice, Candice,
girl girl, Listen, Listen, listen. I don't even been to
a party like that Again, Candice, I'm gonna give you
the same pap talk I give you every time you
break down like this about the party? What are you?
(29:20):
You know it? And what's so thick? So many times
we're all going to stay at the same time. Can
it is? You are the best photo lab technician I've
ever now, and you have a nice smile, and your
(29:41):
boots are good good and hot dogs are favorite thing
seeing parties, to be eaten, to be that parties and
your boobs said, I'm man those Yeah, well, well they're
(30:04):
good good and is longer than usual. You're just she's drunk.
She's drunk. She's so so drunk. And I have eyes
for the DJ who killed a kid India. I have
to tell you that I don't know what you got
this recording, but to record somebody inside the bathroom, yeah,
that's highly illegal. That's really creepy. Well I'm not only
(30:26):
that it's creepy as well, but it's also very illegal.
It's creepy and illegal. I don't know, I don't really
necessarily want to be associated with Um is that possible
to edit that out? Which? But um, I mean bastically
I mean at this point is state's evidence? Oh well,
I mean against Andy. So I don't know if you
really want your producer. I can't imagine another person hiring
on for this show. I'm sorry, UM, it's yeah, it
(30:49):
is impossible for me to add this out because uh,
as I was putting a spycam in a vent and
the ceiling of a bathroom and i cut my hand
on jagged piece tile, So I'm not going to be
able to edit that out. Sorry. You guys know it's
about golf. Yeah, play play a lot of golf. And
(31:09):
what would you say in the hierarchy of what's most
important to you? To the thing that you just say, fucking,
I don't care what number one, but between between what
between all the things that you know you do, what's
number one? Number one? Number one will always just will
be you know, comedy. You know, it's like whatever I'm doing,
comedy is a part of it, and it's going to
(31:30):
be number one always. What is? Uh, what's number two?
Quality of what I do you know. I mean, you
never mentioned quality is the thing that you do. You
just say comedy. Well, you said a hierarchy of the
things that you do and what it is, and so
I said, you know, comedy is really important in terms
of like what is inserted into the things that I do.
(31:51):
And so that's number one I'm saying of all the
jobs that you have. If you oh, you're saying, like
what do I like best? Yes? Why don't you just
say that it's less interesting? But but you you asked
it in a way that that seemed like you wanted
to get to the deeper root of what I liked
best within all the stuff that I do? Was in
motherfucker Jesus, I was been doing this for a long time.
How long you asked questions? They get people to think
(32:15):
and reach and that's what I was doing. I was
thinking on a higher level than the surface bullshit that
you asked me. Have a quick sidebar with my house? Please?
All right, let's step outside, Yeah yeah, stepping in with you?
So weird? Are you stopping such a dick to the guest,
because I don't want you to do that anymore? What
do you can do about it? Oh? My God, you
can get my face. Okay, let's go back in there finishing.
(32:38):
Let's tell you about a different podcast you have, because
you have a dot Um where can they be heard? Well,
I mean everywhere app apples, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube. So the
hierarchy of your favorite podcast to the ones? Give me
the what's number one? Well, I mean I only I
only have one podcast right now. Oh yeah, it's um,
there's just number one. That's number one. Yeah, that's the
(33:00):
Golfing one Country club a Jason. Yeah, nice, tell me
about that. It's a great podcast. We talked about golf.
You know how when we go out on the course,
we play a lot of money games, play some money games,
and you know, our our Instagram and our TikTok really
started blowing up this year. We started doing this thing
called the back Off Challenge where people will step up
to their ball to hit it and we roast essentially
(33:21):
roast them before they hit the ball, uh and try
to get them to step away from their ball to
re readjust and reconcentrate on the next shot. I don't
know much about golf, but I know producer Andy is
an avid golfer. My sister is a golf pro to
your golf course and wow, that's that's cool. Have your name.
(33:41):
I'm not gonna tell you that. Why not because I
don't know to protect her privacy. Just not a professional golfer.
She's a pro. And of course what does that mean.
She's a teacher. Yeah, she gives lessons. So if you're
a golf bro, that means you teach. And if you're
a professional golfer you're on TV, that means you compete. Yeah. Yeah,
that would be very distracting, is like I think kind
of the the bit there as as a golfer, that
(34:02):
would be distracting for somebody to be saying those sorts
of things are before I don't even know what it
is he's saying. And when he said that that they
roast people as they're about to hit a ball, that
would be very distracting. And you would have to step
away to kind of gather yourself to hit a good
shot because because it takes a lot of concentration, so
your ball is directly in front of you quick and
then yeah, they're about to hit the ball because they
(34:24):
want to put it in a hole. Y. Yeah, before
they do that, they step away, and then you just
would no step up to the ball. They step up
to the ball and they address it as though they're
about to hit it, and then we'll say something like, hey,
nice shoes, Shaquille O'Neill. You know, if they've got like
really big shoes or something, just some kind of joke.
You know, most of the time, it's relatively surface level,
(34:45):
unless it's like a really close friend and you can
jab them and like, hey, your if your dad was
here and saw you hit this bad shot, he probably
would tell you he doesn't love you know, sometimes sometimes
we cut deep. Is Shaquille O'Neil a nice guy? Okay,
I'm not. I'm not friends with ship hell O'Neil. I
was just that's just a reference to uh, you know,
I'm just I'm just him on your show. We've been
(35:06):
trying to get him for a few years. He's read no, no,
no, no no, I didn't have much. I was saying that
that's like maybe a joke, a roast joke that we
would do to someone to try to back them off
their balls. Shaquillain was a very large basketball player, and
he would have really big shoes. That might be something
that that the golfer is self conscious about. Is their shoes, Yeah,
because sometimes they wear they wear really dumb shoes out there,
(35:27):
and so, you know, or we make fun of their
shorts if they're wearing socks that are too long. It's
just you know, that kind of stuff with shame short shame.
I get it. Yeah. So it's a it's a fun
it's a fun thing, and it's been it's been really
cool for the game of golf. You know. I think
we're making a nice impact. Do you ever loose that
terms of money by chance? I mean sometimes, I mean
(35:48):
we never really play for that much money, but yeah,
sometimes I lose with it. With the most money ever
lost on a golf course, Yeah, I think like fifty
dollars closed the ten k. Well, I mean I'm not
gonna bet ten k no, no, but maybe because you
just don't have it. I have ten k. Okay, it's
just not I don't want to play for that much money,
(36:08):
and I don't think that, you know, many of my
friends want to play for that much money either. You're
not much of a big road, not the kind of
client that I would want. I'm just saying, Okay, I
mean maybe I'm not being Betty. I'm just maybe maybe
I just don't. I'm not that much of a degenerate.
I don't know. So it looks like we've run out
of time for that clip of him on the golf
course doing comedy. I've got a lot of calls coming in.
(36:29):
Somebody wants to represent me, to represent what I call
you later dish bill. Wow, and he was looking for
new management. Wow. That he's doing pretty well. No, he was.
He wasn't. He was gonna say, what's up? That's how
tight I am with these guys. Cool. You guys are tight.
But he still hasn't officially signed on for you to
(36:51):
represent him. I haven't asked him. So you guys are
just buddies and they don't even need to ask him. Well,
we're all in luck because that clip of you on
the golf course doing commy, it's only like five seconds long. Okay, okay,
so let's hear that four. I just stopped the clip.
So the guy just says four. What's that? Well, well,
(37:11):
I'm sorry it was eight seconds long. We didn't get
to the part where he started cracking cracking. I'll say
it again all right. By the way, what do you
mean four? It means that there's a ball headed your
way and it could hit you. And I think the
reason why they said that is because it's a one
syllable word. It's easy to yell out instead of you,
which well you know, they could have also yelled ball. Yeah,
(37:32):
the number four, it's not the number four. The number
it's a four F O R E. Yeah, that's not
how he spoke the number four. Yeah, because it's not
the number four. Reference the number four, Lady Cliff again,
all right, here we go. Well, the ball that was
that was the difference was the wrong clip. Wrong clip.
That was the wrong clip. That was somebody that was
the first time golfer. That's why you can't say ball
(37:54):
instead of four. Doesn't mean Yeah, alright, let's play the
real clip, the real cliff we could after before with
the guy says something out of that. Yeah, the video
that you're playing isn't the one. Um neither of those.
Scroll down a little bit and then I think third
from the bottle, that one I accidentally liked this photo.
That man engagement is good. I mean, it doesn't. It
(38:14):
doesn't show up who specifically likes it, doesn't. Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna like it. Well, you didn't have to do that.
That's he just left it there. But if I was
representing him, might be liking this ship all day. So
what do you want from? All? Right? Go ahead? And
this clip right there, right there, right there. Hey, you
look like Bradley Cooper on meth. Did you see that?
(38:40):
Don't don't cry, but you're just supposed to laugh. You
know about my math problem. You know that I've struggled
for years years. Sorry, I'm so sorry. We just it
was You do look like Bradley Cooper on meth. Just
kind of a fact, just like Bradley Cooper. Why do
(39:03):
you have to bring up them? Because you know that
I accidentally killed my fiance with my car because I
was on Yeah, I'm really sorry. Were just say shoes?
I think they are? Jeff, do you want to shut
down the video? Okay? Yeah? Thank you really killed? Yeah? No,
(39:24):
it murdered. And that's kind of the video that like
how long blew us up? How long did he go
on crying? He immediately like right after that video he left,
he went straight home. But long the video last, well,
the video itself is only two minutes and twenty seconds,
because that's the most you can put on Twitter. Because
he wanted it to get on all yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
(39:44):
And so he was crying for a while and then
I kept telling my buddy just stopped filming him, and he, um,
he wouldn't stop filming him. And then I finally was like,
all right, I guess let's just keep getting him crying
and just see how viral this goes. And it did. Dude,
I got like four hundred and sixty thousand views or something.
He recorded him in the bathroom too. Yeah. Later, Oh man,
(40:05):
that was weird. I think I know how that one goes.
He continues to cry up there right now. Yeah, keep crying,
this is my hole. Keep crying now, this is great,
will go viral crying? Keep yeah, yeah, I do that. Yeah.
(40:27):
So how's how's your meth addiction? You went to his house? Yeah? Yeah,
I went to his house. Technically, I wasn't the one filming.
Who was. I was just there. That was our other
podcast guy, Kevin. Kevin was just like, wouldn't stop filming him,
and I figured like, why not just go there, get
him crying, get the views. You know. We just we've
(40:48):
been really we wanted to grow the podcast organically, and
the best way to grow it organically is to get
really good content and that was some good ship. Dude,
what do you have planned? What's under the horizon? Aristonto
Georgeton's a lot of stuff. Man. I'm still you know,
I'm still doing uh still still doing my Ted talk,
my um my fake Ted talk. That's really fun. Like
(41:09):
I said, our golf podcast is really starting to take
off and it's uh, it's been a lot of fun.
It's uh, it's brought us a lot of free golf
and a lot of chances to compete, which is hilarious
because uh, you know we're not we're not pros, so
it's fun. Where could somebody who listens to our show?
It was like, I want to check out this stuff,
but where did they find it? Uh? You know, you
can find um the Golf podcast on uh at country
(41:32):
Club Adjacent on Instagram and TikTok on Twitter, and then
um you can follow my uh my online profile at
Bottle of Stattle. You can also follow my fake character
at Blake Webber and uh, I'm having a lot of fun.
Everything's a hoot, all right, Aristotle Jorgson, thank you so
much for coming. And I really apologize on our's behalf. Yeah,
(41:52):
I mean this was strange whatever coming up Act three.
But first a word from our sponsors, who make this
high quality program possible. Stay with us Act three two.
(42:15):
Jobs to make ends meet. At least that was the
reason we're not having time to join them. He was
always working a lot of bills to pay. She was
also very what I'm looking for? Oh honey, look, crew
walks in the door. It's me. Would you like to
explain to me why you missed our daughter, Sadie's fifth
(42:38):
birthday party? Let me look at her? Look at her? Well?
Who the funk pacer shoes and her dress is? Watch
your language, watch your watch yours, watch your room, shurty,
Just please stop play shurty. This is what keeps things fresh.
(43:00):
I mean, daddy fighting. We already told you, say honey, honey, Mark, Hey,
I'm the one who makes the bread around here. Now
you Sonny, now you say so, I'm the one, the
only one to know. I also, you don't contribute, Jack,
(43:21):
I have a job as well. What's your job? My
job is to work. My job sell real estate. I
do sell real estate. Four days ago. Yes, we're not
just depending on your income. I find that to be
a load of bullshit. Malarky, I say the last goddamn time.
(43:49):
That's just how your mother and I interact. I'm scared.
I'm scared. I'm scared. How do you think I felt
when we've dr dl ripple person told on a crack?
How do you think I felt the first time? The
doctor do Rebel suggested that we as a couple spice
things up by arguing all the time. Remember, because we
(44:11):
both work how much? I just be traumatic one day
for me for the last time. Internalize your childhood trauma.
I don't want to hear anyway, honey, mister birthday party?
(44:35):
Fuck you? I planned the party. It did pretty good.
Was it a good party? What's your good party? Do
you hear that? Do you hear what she's saying to do?
(44:56):
What are you going to do about it? How do
you plan to make the up to the both of us?
Heap going on and on, getting in an opportunity attack,
so bangs therapy Ripple. You had to say, so, how
didn't it work? Did you like I asked you to? Yes,
arguing a hell of a lot. Of course, I worked
(45:19):
your jabbs and he claims, do I get out LF?
What's that? Man? How is Sadie taking it. Not good,
not going at all. As a matter of fact, I
actually we brought Sady with us. She's sitting outside in
the hot car. Hold on, let me go get her.
It's so hot. God, be sure you can't leave your
daughter in the car. I'm not call the police. Hot car.
(45:44):
Very good, Very good, very good. I have a quick
question for your ripple, doctor du ripple, why are you
fucking us up like this? You're making us neglect the child.
You're having us argue with each other constantly. What's the
end game here? Game? If you do your job. I'm
talking to the doctor. You swat. I just gotta do
(46:07):
this on my own. I gotta, I gotta get out
of it. I can. I'm sorry, I can't do it.
Fighting fighting you're doing this is so traumatic for me.
(46:28):
It was cleaning the doctor head acterior motives. What looks
like from the outside. Was it therapeutical practice on the inside?
Was it disgusting toid sexual finish at the cost of
a family's dynamic? Look? So why don't the two of
(46:48):
you Barbara is it? And man? My name is Ben? Yeah?
What what? What? I don't know even know why I'm here?
So what exactly is the problem album between the two
of you, if one exists at all, I would tell you.
But she's going to interrupt me anyways and tell you
her versions. So why do you don't put it inside
(47:09):
me anymore? He won't do it. I ask him. I
try to joke him off. He doesn't even want it
if I don't want to put it inside you, And
why would I want you to trick me off? You're
still logic. It doesn't what doesn't make sense. It's how
beautiful I am, and how he treats me like trade.
Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous. I don't like it.
I'm like, no, no, she's not gorgeous. She's not gorgeous.
(47:32):
Thick say something really mean to her, saying why to
tell her? To tell her that she's how he's just
going to help her. I don't know. I'm sure it
will somehow tell her she's likely. Don't do it, honey,
do it. Don't do it, Barbara. He is a therapist.
So yeah, and just give me the logic real quick here.
You want me to tell her my wife, Barbara, who's
(47:53):
who's gorgeous? She makes a diamond look like trash. Therapy
is about growth to mess sense if you will. It's
about growing. It's about you growing, her growing, and most
importantly me growing. Tell her she is ugly. Don't do it, Edie,
do it. I don't believe him, do it? Do it? Eddie?
(48:14):
Trust me? I think maybe I should, because look, we're
paying a lot of How much are we paying? What?
How do you pressure you? Dr? Do ripple? Dr do ripple.
We're paying a lot of money for you your sessions,
so might as well, right, yes, please do and I'll
pay you after all. Right, Honey, don't do it. You
keep saying that I'm going to do it. Don't do it,
Please do it. I mean, it's just what we're gonna do.
Is just you can't tell me not to do it.
(48:35):
I don't ever get a chance to tell you. But
that sounded come back? Do it? Oh that sounded come back.
I know that I could take it. You already don't
have sticks with me, You already don't stick. I'm just
saying you're ugly. Okay, why not tell her that? Tell
her she's a bad mother, You're a bad it's the well.
(49:01):
Now give her the opposite of a pep talk that
you and I went over before. You remember it say
it man, it will say to the man. Time we'll
say at the same time, all of us, I really
have to say the anti pep talk. Here we go.
But you so discussing. Look you do either of you
(49:36):
have a sleeping pill because I could use a nap.
We'll produced to Andy and especially Giest, contributor to Aristotle,
georgean Io story and this was This is American's Life
when his next time. This is Americans Live can be
found wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate,
and review. You can also find This is Americans Live
(49:58):
on Instagram at this is Americans Live and on Twitter
at Americans Live. Mm hmmmmmmm
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