Best Of Eps 41-45

The best of This Is Important from episodes 41 through 45.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially
integral to the fabric of our very nature.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Here we go, start your engines. M m m m
m m m ming ming ming ming ming ming ming
ming ming ming.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
All right, guys, man, how are your ship boom.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Hit us with it?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Blake friendship?

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Friendship? Yeah, you're real? Yeah, so much love? Hell yeah
on your soundboard?

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Oh much love.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I love the love Blake real trap shit.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
That one's cool.

Speaker 4 (00:47):
You ever hit that ship when you're not on the pod,
when you're just like late night drunk thinking about us?

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Out of all of the uh possible buttons to hit
when you're alone in your room late at night thinking
about us, what is the button that you hit the
most often? Blake hit us with it? That's our friendship
is so hardcore.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
I'm constantly just sitting in my room just playing the
soundboard thinking about you.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Guys. Thank you God, Kyle. Can we get your joke
one more time? Oh the soundboard that's what Blake calls
his dick.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Okay, hey, yes, but why'd you bail on the joke?
And then you doubled back for it. What happened there?
You got nervous?

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I like it. No, I think there's a lag going on.
And it came out and then Durs caught it, and
then we came back and now I hit it and
now here we are.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Okay. You can also do don't. They call it the
fruit basket where you like kind of pull your nuts
through the back of your legs and then just kind
of have like them sitting at the bottom of your
butt crack fruit basket. Yes, yes, I can demonstrate.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
We would love to see it.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
This is this is important.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, yeah, because I don't get it.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's important. You saying you can demonstrate, but I don't
think that you are actually gonna do it. So yeah,
i'd love to see it.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
I don't know if legally I can.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, you can't understand the mechanics of it, So if
you could show it to me, that'd be great. Sheriff
Divine says, you're good.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Anna, Can you get in the chat and let me know? Please?

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Legally you can't? Yeah for sure?

Speaker 1 (02:24):
For yeah, said sure, got sure, We got a sure
on the chat.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Producer Anna says, sure, we can't see it?

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Anna, you pervert. All right, hold one, say, if you
could just show us the mechanics of this, that'd be great.
I just don't understand it.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Let's see it, all right, let me see.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
We're gonna get some some kiwi's. We're gonna bite these
kiwis hole or what the.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Skin my book? Actually?

Speaker 3 (02:44):
You know my I feel like I just took a
shower and it was cold. So like my balls are
kind of really close, like hugging my body.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay, so what you can't scratch them back?

Speaker 2 (02:53):
What I'm trying a lot of people when they take showers,
their balls like sort of hang.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Low, elongate.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yes, right, this was a cold shower. I took a
cold shower.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Why would you do such a thing because you just
worked out? Yeah, okay, here he goes, just showing us
the buck. We got the best, the best butt.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Well, we just see your asks.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Oh it was a side. It was a side. Well okay,
well it was good. Well it was.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
A side, so that was great science. They looked like
two uh and those looked really soft in shaved. Do
you shave your your nuts?

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well you guys, you guys know I'm not a very
hairy guy, right, other than my head.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Except for the head. Yeah, you got a lot of
hair up.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Talk yo.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Your nuts looked like they were holding their breath. They
were pink.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah, they were like I scared of you, motherfucker going
past the graveyard in the car, going.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Under a tunnel trying to make a wish. Yeah, man,
I'm gonna. I wasn't prepared, all right. Sorry, Hey, big
ups for doing that, bro, good job man.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
You well to let down.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Thanks man.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
No, it was cool. Yeah, you followed through.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
I did not think you were going to do it, Blake,
and I thought you were going to put the whole
thing through. I thought it was gonna be dick and balls,
but you promise balls and balls were delivered.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
I was looking for a Hello.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
If you do the just the balls out the back,
that's the fruit basket. What if you take the dick
and the balls and pull them through.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Well, that's a banana. I thought all of it. Yeah,
I thought it was all it's a banana and then
a few plums.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah, now it makes sense to me, Adam.

Speaker 4 (04:31):
I love when we hit the same way, like we're
always hitting this and it's the banana.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, and then the yeah, the orange react. This is important,
you know, this.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, baby, I'm hello, Blake.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Did you masturbate on a flight when you were a kid? Watching? Uh,
watching some movie?

Speaker 1 (04:52):
What's up? Come again?

Speaker 3 (04:53):
What where is this coming from? Why? What is this?
Gotcha journalism right out the gate?

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Jeez, this has got journalism? Well no, you said it
on another podcast. I'm wondering why you're telling cool stories
about masturbating on planes on other podcasts and you're not
mentioning it on our podcast when that's obviously a cool story.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well, first off, I will shout out, yeah, I BET's
still a very friend of the pod, at least from
this square of the circle. Yeah, I told that story
on their podcast because we didn't have a podcast.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well what is their what is their podcast? You got
to call them out?

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Yeah, but still is the podcast?

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh yeah, but still? Oh I thought you were just
I thought you were just saying a phrase.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yeah, Jack Wagner, Brandon Wardell, Yeah, big shout out to
the pod.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay, so you want to you want to give us
that story over here or is it it's you've already
burned it.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
Well now I feel like they should go over to
that pod and check it out there.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
But did you just hit the friendship button for them
or for us? Yeah? What was that?

Speaker 3 (05:55):
For all of us?

Speaker 1 (05:56):
The fuck is happening? No, no, no, no, no, no, no no, this.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Is a friendship fan. I'm feeling very interrogated right now.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Well, yeah, he jumped out the gate. He interrogated you.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I didn't mean to. I just I literally like, you're pissed.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, down came out hot and I support you.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
But this isn't I wasn't trying to get at my guy.
I was just wondering. I just heard it. It was like
five minutes ago. I heard this little clip of Blake
telling this funny story, and I'm like, why he never
told this story. I feel like we've been telling jerk
off stories jo stories all the time on this podcast.
I'm always telling some epic tales and Blake had just
left this one in the cup. When I feel like

(06:34):
this one's prime for you lose.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Whoa no, the double diss.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
You know, it came very organically in that podcast. It
wasn't like I was just like chopping at the bit
to tell about the time that I j oed on
an airplane in my youth. This is pre this is
pre come.

Speaker 5 (06:58):
How old were you?

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Let's in.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
This is pre pre.

Speaker 4 (07:03):
Yes, this is pre pre what's pre pre just the
air the air shots.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
This was when you were it was just dusted.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, when you used to just kind of and that
was it cought.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Oh, by the way, I feel like a lot of women,
a lot of females don't know that that was a thing.
Like I told Chloe, I was telling some story a
few weeks ago, and I tell Chloe this. She's like,
what do you mean nothing came out? And I'm like, yeah,
before you hit puberty, it doesn't come out. And I
was a little late hitting puberty. I was like kind
of the smaller kid, and so no, so there was

(07:34):
I was like bummed when it started to happen. I'm like,
I gotta clean this up every time. Now there used
to be no evidence. Now all of a sudden, there's
evidence everywhere.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
There's so much evidence.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, there's so much.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
Well remember when it first starts, it's just like one
clear tear drop.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Oh really that's how you saw it?

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Well for me, yeah, it was like it was like
my dick cried one tier of joy.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
Uh, okay, you felt good. Yeah, you are bringing back
specific memories. This is so weird.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
There's you didn't you didn't do one single tear drop,
or you just started one day the faucet turned on
and you I just.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Said, you brought back like a very specific memory for
me of that exact thing.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Oh you had, so you you do remember when you
just had.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
I didn't remember until just now, and I'm like, oh, yeah,
it was like I think it was only pre right.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
I think that was just what it was. It wasn't
like a it wasn't a load. Hey, speaking of cum,
I have some I have something. I did it? What
did you do? I did it? What did you do?
I did it? Did you snip? I made the appointment.
I made the appointment, made the appointment.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
That doesn't stop you from me jack and does it? No, No,
the loads still still come from what I've told But yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
You still have all the fun of the toy, but
none of the dangers.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Well, so no more live ammunitions. It's all blanks. Well,
when I do it, I haven't done it yet. I
made the appointment. I walked in.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah, can we walk through the science of it? Like science,
what what is the technical term.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
For It's called a vasectomy?

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Because that is definitely a German scientist who discovered that right.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Totally, because they cut the vas deference. That's that's that's
sick to me. And they're like, well we got to
do it. Yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
So they cut it off and then they tie it.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Or there's two of them in the sack and they
cut both of them and then I guess they cauterize
it or something. I got to look into that. I
don't know.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
Yeah, I think that's to get a blow torch in
there and just fucking tort you.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
I might be confusing, like girls get their tubes tied,
boys get their their dick snipped.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
Yes, yeah, I don't know if there's any literal tying happening.
I think that's kind of like a cute fun thing
to say, right is it's like a crimp.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Well, why can't we say I don't want to get snipped. Yeah,
let's I would rather get crimped. Maybe we can start
that crimping I'm getting I'm getting my nuts at crimped.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
They just make the tube zigzaggy.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
I'm gonna I had to get my nuts crimped this weekend.
Crimped kind of like it's eighties day in high school.
We're just crimping our nuts.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
We should crimp our pubes and just like change the world.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Oh my god, Yeah, let's for sure start crimping a
lot of our hair on our bodies.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
And like fingerwave your pubes.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
Yes, sir, I feel like people were like we shaved
to like show that we've got we're cleanly, we're we're
all cleaned up.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
We take care of our bodies. But if you style that.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Ship, yeah that's hot, right, mm hmmm, it was an
atom bomb.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Of energy, that's right? Is that what you call yourself?

Speaker 2 (10:59):
And the chewing the ice on the microphone? I love
it and I want to thank you for doing that.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Blaze you got it on true wis you're not supposed to?
Why go eat tinfoil?

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Why don't you get the sparks going?

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Well tinfoil? If you got feelings? But what's the what's
the matter with ice?

Speaker 3 (11:16):
I think they said, if you true ice, you're sexually frustrated.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Always heard that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah, so I'm gonna be what cool?

Speaker 4 (11:26):
Doctor is this like the ozarks doctor? Did you go
see him?

Speaker 3 (11:31):
You remember when they say like if you wear green
your horny?

Speaker 4 (11:34):
No, that was green em and m's what what I thought?
It was just green if you if you ate green eminem's,
they made you horny.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
It's science. What it was like the green dye in it?

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Like, why why does green make you horny? Green? The
color makes you horny?

Speaker 4 (11:48):
Green the eminem's are actually filled with tesosterone. Hello, I
just remember that back in the day, if you wore green,
the color like you were like.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Code that you were horny.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
You're a horny dog?

Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah yeah what I Oh, well I got green eyes?
So watch o.

Speaker 5 (12:11):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
There is like things to colors, like green makes you horny.
If you see orange, supposedly that color makes you hungry?

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Is it orange? Always heard? Is that why McDonald's is yellow?
It's yellow because McDonald's.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
It's science. Yeah, because subliminally it makes your you very
very hungry.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
So if you wear green, it doesn't mean that you're
necessarily horny because you're not looking at yourself all days.
You're trying to get everyone around you horny? So what's
up with that shirt?

Speaker 5 (12:38):
Lake?

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah? What are you trying to do to me?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
That green shirt? You come on the podcast trying to
get us all horn dogg though, well.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
You didn't know, Come on, man, Hello.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Hulk has Hulu has live sports?

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Okay, Hulu has live sports everybody. This is in my contract.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
That's cool. And you you're getting paid for that.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yes, since I'm on set for Woke on Hulu, I'm
being paid to wear the Hulu has live sports jersey
everywhere I go?

Speaker 1 (13:02):
And are you in Atlanta?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Are you on set right now?

Speaker 3 (13:05):
I'm not. I have to wear it offset. That's that's the.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Oh wow, this is a really intense contract that Isaac
made you sign.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
A whoopsie, are you there in the at to the
l oh?

Speaker 3 (13:18):
I am, I'm in the I'm all the way in it, baby,
all the way in it. I'm just looking for usher
everywhere I go.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
I would say I would like to do a tour
and win. And if we do a tour for the podcast,
we got to do a lot of musical numbers, a
lot of like planned musical numbers where like twenty minutes
in we're like, what'd you say?

Speaker 1 (13:43):
What do you say?

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Bro? And then we get in a fight right and
just goes into it and yeah, and then all of
a sudden, then.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
That was kind of our thing, wasn't it. Yeah, our sketches.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
Would we pretend our sketch stopped because somebody got hit
and then we're just going to the song.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, there has to be a lot of.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Now you're talking about a cappella.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I do most of my ship's acapella.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
But yeah, I mean, hello, you're talking to what was
the name of your team?

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh, the treble Makers?

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Yeah, Blake.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Don't act like you don't know, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
I don't act like you don't know. Damn son, where'd
you get there?

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Somebody just sent me that clip again, some internet person
of it was Dwight Howard talking about one of his
favorite moments with Kobe when Kobe turned him on to
Pitch Perfect and they would watch Pitch Perfect together.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
That's tide what.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, I guess Kobe Bryant's favorite movie was Pitch Perfect,
which I find absolutely hilarious and awesome. You know, damn wow, man,
I'm trying to kick it with Cobes.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
R I P yeah, RP.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Mambas, you're trying to kick you with cobes?

Speaker 4 (14:45):
Alright?

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Does that mean you want to die?

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Speaking of I'm gonna do another season of Bad Ideas?
I think so if I do another season of Bad Ideas,
you know who knows?

Speaker 1 (14:55):
That's tie? I scared you mother? Thu Oh that was
like a publicity that was like a pre pubblist, the
thing I wanted not to cry for help.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
I love the way your mind works, man.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, man, I want to kick it with Coke.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
So Kobe used to love pitch perfect. I can't wait
to kick it with that dude, because I might be
going to heaven because bad ideas is coming back on
a new platform from the Full Circle.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Man this season, Adam dies, and I'm thinking I'm thinking
of going to a wuhan wet market and eating and
eating bats.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
The cause of diary.

Speaker 4 (15:32):
I think we all know you need to go to
a lab if it's going to be real risky.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Leawn, Hello, I do that? Sure that said, rest in peace.
Let's give the us flowers. Hey, flowers to Rodney.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Speaking of giving flowers, Conan O'Brien's last night on television
is tonight. And yeah, a few episodes back, we gave
him flowers. I feel maybe we give him some more flowers.
We don't have to talk about them because we did,
but Flowersjackie Be's.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
The last guest right coming to a jack you Joiner
Kursy Jackie Black, Jackie Black, Jackie Black Black.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
Yeah, Okay, okay, I thought we were still talking about
Jack kay, and it's like that would be a weird
last guess hey Conin Yeah, people are starting to say,
like because like, you know, we mentioned McAfee, McAfee died,
we gave Conan Conan.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
His flowers, Conan Simone Conan.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
We gave Conan his flowers. Now he's off air. I'm
starting to think like our podcast might be kind of
like are You Afraid the Dark episode where it's like
whoever we mention goes off the air or dies?

Speaker 1 (16:38):
WHOA Okay, right, that's a lot of power. Yeah, I'll
be honest.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
I was kind of stoked that, like we dave Conan
his dude before it was like announced. Now everyone's like,
here's a picture of.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Me with him.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
I was there when I love him. It's like, well
we did that without him announcing anything, So we're better.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
So we won.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yes, we just love them, so it is about we rock.
We are actually one.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
As far as like the contest of giving flowers, we
gave the best flowers. They were the freshest flowers. The
people that are like sort of posting photos with Conan
now those are like old wilted flowers that are gross
and stinky.

Speaker 4 (17:16):
Right, those are like funeral flowers. Ours were like surprise,
here's some flower.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, ours are birthday flowers, right, just because even better
than birthday. You're right, they are just because they're just.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Because because we love you, and you know, I'd like
to give us flowers for giving those flowers unsolicited.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
So if you were a comic or an actor that
posted with Conan about his last day, fuck you, Okay, fuck.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
You, fuck you, well you're going to help you.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
You're rotting in hell, you piece of shit. You made
his last day about you. It's about Conan, And we
did that weeks and weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Fuck you.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
That being said I might post something, I might post something.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, then we brought it back around and made it
about us, So like then we did it.

Speaker 4 (17:59):
Yeah, hey, well I I kind of helped and made
sure we didn't know how a little bit.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Thank you a little bit, because it is about us now,
it is now, it is.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Here's here's I want to rewind a second to when
Blake was jerking off on this airplane.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Okay, who are you with.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
By the way, yeah, how old were you? Let's I
want to I want some details here. Maybe you don't
want to tell the whole story. Maybe you were only
going to get part of this story, but I think
it's important.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
Well, and what's wild. I just got done texting my
dad about how he listens to the podcast while he
does his uh his biking, and I'm like, okay, well
the way this.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
He's a cyclist as well, it news.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
What's up?

Speaker 3 (18:38):
Well, the way this came about is I used to
because I came from a divorce home, but I still
would go in between.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Why don't you cry about it?

Speaker 3 (18:46):
My mother and father's house, But I would take a
plane to see my dad because he lived in southern California.
So I was an unintended minor on planes quite a bit.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
So how old were you when you started jerking off
on planes regularly?

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Well, so this is what I was talking about on
yeah about yeah, but still as we were talking about
how like Game Pro magazines, there was a time when
like tomb Raider was the hot shit, and like like
virtual titties were like Laura Cross, Yeah, they were all
up in the buildings. So I'd be flipping through the
Game Pro and I'd see like dead or Alive Volleyball,

(19:23):
which was like this da remember that, Yeah, where it
was just like fake video game titties. But it got
my young dick on who boy.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
And so once again, how old?

Speaker 3 (19:40):
So it was last year?

Speaker 1 (19:42):
We're just like, why are we circling the bowl here?

Speaker 2 (19:44):
I know, I'm trying to get any information. You're telling
all the shit that we're not asking about. I'm asking
your age.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
I like it, Blake. I like your story, Blake.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
I do I like it too. I'm just saying he's
being cagy with the details.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
I would probably say it was in junior high. Right,
that's probably when tomb Raider was firing and I wasn't
you know, I'm still shooting blanks.

Speaker 4 (20:04):
Like I wonder if we could find out exactly what
flight it was, because there's like records of this, Right.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
You were shooting blanks junior high. Bro, Oh my, you
know that about me. I was full blown loading.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
I was a late bloomer, guys, Sorry time late bloom.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
Here's the science of the visectomy. If you guys want
it like I don't like it. A vasectomy works by
stopping sperm getting into a man's semen the fluid that
he ejaculates. We all knew that.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
I thinking we know what that?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Well, do you just you just squeeze your dick really hard.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
No, that is true.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
That's one of the techniques.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Back it up. There's the tubes that carrie sperm from
a man's testicles to the penis are cut, blocked, or
sealed with heat. No, oh, they are cauterized corduroid. You
have to wear corduroys. Right. This means that when a
man ejaculates, the semen has no sperm in it, and
a woman's egg cannot be fertilized. So that's the whole point.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
That just flooded me with memories. I actually think I
did have that knowledge somewhere in my brain for sure.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Crazy dude. Wow, yeah, fucking flooded.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Wow, I learned a thing once and uh no.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
I'm actually hell a smart. You just have to knock
the knowledge loose. And then I'm like, yeah, yeah, I
knew that, right, right, I knew that.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I can't explain it exactly, but yeah I knew that
for sure.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
Yeah. Say it to me and I will confirm.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
That it's true, you know, repeat it back to you. Yeah, okay, So, Blake,
did you know this that you can reverse it? And
it's like ninety nine percent reversible.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
I did not know that.

Speaker 4 (21:49):
Wow, it can still wrangle its way, like shit still
goes on. I had a buddy who I swam with
who got it and then he was like, didn't work.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Well, it depends on how quickly you're you're blasting. Afterwards.
You have to clear the chamber. You have to you
have to shoot like, you know, like twenty five times
to clear it. Really. Yeah, yeah, you gotta God damn it, honey,
I mean you're clearing it exactly. Do you want another kid?

Speaker 3 (22:13):
Then?

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Let me watch this. It's been a year.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
So are you going to take a big weekend? Are
you going to take the oculus uh spot.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
To your cabin a romantic weekend?

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Really treat yourself.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, really treat yourself and just clear the tubes.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, unload the banana clip.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Oh it feels like something I could throw on the calendar. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
I feel like she doesn't want to be around you
on a weekend that you're truly trying to jerk off
twenty times.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's a lot, twenty five. It's a job twenty five.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yeah. That you're going to work, right, You're going to work.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Honestly, guys.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
I like to say it, but I think we have
a movie idea. I think we slipped and fell into
a movie idea.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
Oh clear, the chambers disgusting. Don't say it like that
really slipped it.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Okay, you're taking the road back to come down. But
come on now, I'm saying. Four best friends all get
snipped and they go to a house.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Kle is starring in this movie.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Oh Kyle is the least.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
I'm a part of the ensemble. Bro. Yeah, get used
to it.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Get used to it, dude, I am used to it. Okay,
I was just I was wondering.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Wait, I want to hear this huge comedy.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
No, I'm already rewriting it. One friend gets snipped, My
one friend gets snipped. Kyle the star of the movie,
and his three best friends go with him to like
a house in the desert to do his last twenty
five ejaculations, and they want to make each one special. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Wait, you guys are gonna be there for me. I'm
just gonna take this.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Or they want to make each ejack a special event
for him.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah, it's a It's like, you know, he's like coming
to terms with like he can never create life again.
So we're like, let's treat each ejaculation like a birth
of a child.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
Can I flip this a little bit, absolutely and make
it more of a build a female driven.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Okay, and that's hot right now, those cells.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
So a woman gets pregnant her husband and they're so happy,
and he's like, you know what, honey.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
She's like, I'm just done with kids. We can't do
this anymore, Like it's too much.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
She hates kids. Maybe she hates kids.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Well, she's she's had, she she's with them.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
She wants to move on from having more kids. And
he's like, totally get it.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
You know what she has.

Speaker 4 (24:28):
Let's get snipped, right. So he gets snipped and he goes, honey,
I'm gonna go away for this weekend. I got twenty
five shots. I gotta bang out. You don't want to
be around for that.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
He leaves. She has a miscarriage the next day. Oh
my god. And now she's gotta get to this. Guys,
I'm sorry, I forgot comedy is dead? Wait? Howat this is? Sad?

(25:00):
Don't know how you get past the seat.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
Hey, he's setting it up, let's give it.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
I haven't said they haven't said the punchline yet. She's
got to get to the cabin before there's twenty five
nut bus because once he passes the nut bus and
so like you're intercutting from her, like you know, the.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Car will breakdown, she'll run into her.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
So there's there's truly a ticking cock, oh a chacking cock.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
Yeah, okay, I love that. And maybe the place he
went is there's no cell phone.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
So exactly there's just porn tapes. Yeah, it's the cabin.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's a cabin.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, you could come up to the cabin.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes, there's just it was his it was his creepy
old grandpa who just went there to die and just
has a wall of dusty old porno tapes.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Right, and you're inner cutting, so it's just you.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
You're just jerking off to like Christy Canyons or whatever
whatever old porn Betty Page or something.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
That's great. But his grandpa here or his grandpa dying
in the movie, Yeah, we could throw that in like
the like deleted scenes.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah, maybe in the coda the very very end of
the movie, after the credits is we like we walk
back and find him still jerking off of the woods,
like he goes on a walk. He thought he was
dead the whole time, but like, yeah, we think he's
dead and he's still and what is the coda? I
think that isn't that uh like after the little scene
after their credits roll.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh it's not like the secret scene. It's like I
think it's the last last bum, you know, like the
last notes.

Speaker 4 (26:27):
Yeah, like that's what is That is the led Zeppelin
album Coda their last album.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
So that was a Come related album? Oh my god, No, wait,
we're not talking about Come anymore.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Wait god damn yeah. Hold on, like jerks off on
one plane when he was nineteen years old.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
And it blew my fucking mind.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Bro, the jerks off one time on a plane when
he was in his late teens and suddenly he just
has Jiz on the brain.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
His brain has come.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
I'm sorry, No, it crossed with because Kyle's dogs names Coda, Yeah,
Come Soda.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Oh that's right.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
I wasn't totally out of the blue.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
I was like, wait, where are you getting? Okay?

Speaker 3 (27:07):
I know, I was like, wait, what the fuck does
happened to my brain?

Speaker 1 (27:09):
Because my dog Coda is also known as Come Soda.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
But I I feel so bad for everybody listening who's like,
I gotta stop.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
I can't follow it anymore. But it's not that. But
it's not that.

Speaker 6 (27:28):
Yes, smart, he's a smart guy, smart guy, really really smart.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
I'm like scared to talk because I'm pretty sure I'm
chunking hard.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
That's good. It's good to be scared to talk on
a podcast.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah. No, I'm like, I feel like I'm about, like,
you know, five seconds behind you, guys.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
I apologize, Yeah, and what about the actual internet?

Speaker 2 (27:50):
You always are.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Saying, wait, he's gonna get it in three two. I
get you, guys at the right time, but I put
it out there different.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
I'm sorry, guys, this is fun.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Ye, I know, Adam, you're that guy. I'm not the
It's like, you don't have to eat it just because
you can. I don't understand. We should establish the animals
we eat, and then the rest of them we just
leave the fuck alone. Like chickens are cool.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, but in that culture they do eat bats, and
that culture they are chickens.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
So the chickens of the sky.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
So when you're there, I want to experience their culture.
And part of their culture is eating bats in some
places humans, In which case, which would you, guys, eat human?

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Cannibal? Human?

Speaker 4 (28:46):
I don't think I would unless it was just like
a real perky but that you just use slice like
a square out of Oh is pop it?

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Oh you're talking torture. I'm talking.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Well, no, the person's not alive. I'm not gonna eat
a live person.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah, okay, But what if?

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Way, what if I was like, hey, guys, I'll give
you a piece of my haunch and you can cook
it up and eat it. And it's a surgery and
it's a planned surgery, and I'm like, I want to
lose weight, so I'm going to cut some of my
meat off of my bones and deliver it to you
guys and have a prized chef come and cook it up.
Would you grab I would do that to someone.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
I don't know if I would. I think you're actually
you know what, because I bet your skin is mad
like sour and salty.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah all right, No, okay, it's got taste.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
I'll tell you what tastes like soy sauce.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, he tastes already. I imagine you are You taste
like like you're pickled a little bit?

Speaker 1 (29:45):
So was this preseasoned?

Speaker 2 (29:46):
I think? Uh yeah, No, I was gonna say I
wouldn't want to eat Cole I'd like to eat someone else.
But the more I think about it, I think you
gotta you gotta some tasty sour patch kid haunches.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Ile is the the kim chi of our friends first?

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Sure, No, he's the pickled egg, the pickled cabbage, the
pickled whatever. I'm just pickled.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
You would want to eat like a piece of like
a fitness finspirational what do they call the finn finfluenciers?

Speaker 2 (30:14):
You're talking about my other career, Yes, right.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
You would.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
You would want to eat a slice of that that
butt right there, pearl so Adam Adam?

Speaker 1 (30:22):
So would you eat a little bit of Adam?

Speaker 4 (30:23):
I would eat Adam's butt over your butt, for sure,
just because I know that the it's a leaner meat.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
It's a leaner meat, for sure. These are two these
are these are two parallel questions. One is would you
eat in this? I guess, okay, you're eating Adam over
me whatever. That's what we got to.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
That's I don't know, because I think I'm like just
a blick a muscle, and I think it would be
too tough. I think it'd be too tough.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
Yeah, that's tough meat.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
You need that sweet marbling that Kyle has you.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
But but but let me just say this. Let me
say this.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
If I'm if I'm eating anybody's butt, it'll be the
best butt of the group.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
It'll be Blake.

Speaker 3 (30:59):
But that's eating out my butt. You're actually eating there,
but you're eating out mine.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
I feel like, first out of them, I'm giving you
my muffin top. That's what's happening. I'm cutting that right off,
and that's getting that's all fat, that's the delicacy. That's
good stuff. Bro. You want that though, you do, you.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
Do want You don't want to eat a lot of that.
But if you are gonna eat a human being, you're
gonna want some fat in there. You don't want to
just say.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
I want lean like Buffalo burger style. That's what I want.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
So you want the filet mignon. Okay, I'm a I'm
more of a ribbi guy.

Speaker 4 (31:33):
Yeah, yeah, No, I don't like I don't like fatty.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Uh yeah, I'm not into it now. I'm trying to
figure out what I eat because I'm a vegetarian. Likenles
got that wag you booty.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Uh And and by the way, I know you said
Blake has the nicest ass in the group, and yeah,
I understand you're getting under my skin.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Gotta.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
I saw this gift the other day.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
I don't say of your own butt, of my own ass.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
It was from it was from the show, and I
I forget what it was. But we were in like
medical uh we're in the hospital and I'm turning around
and you see it, just the side of my ass
to hot, hot, HoTT dude, and it was just fucking perfect.

Speaker 5 (32:15):
Man.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
I was like, I almost send it to you, guys,
but then I was like, I don't want to send
photos of my own ass to my friends, right, but I'd.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Rather talk about it. I'd rather talk about it rather
save it for the pod. Guys.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
I'll tell you right now, do you ever want to
send me nudes? I'm down. I want nudes from my
fellas at all times. They they make me laugh. They
make me all the time.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Hey, you guys out there, you heard it. If you
want to send dudes, send it to Blake's DM.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
No, I'm not asking. I'm not asking the general public.
I want him only from my very close dude friends.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Subliminally, he meant everyone out there, Blake, I have hold
on one second, Blake. I have wanted to send you,
uh some some nudes in the past, but I've been
afraid that after it goes to your inbox, it might
skip and step somewhere else. Can we make a pact
that if any of us send each other nudes for
a laugh, that which just stops in the inbox and

(33:05):
it doesn't go anywhere else. When have I ever been
Where's he gonna go? No fappening. I don't want.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
I'm not gonna fappen in my homies. When have I
ever leaked nudes? Dude, You're they're safe with me.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
I'm just establishing a pact. That's it.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Well, see with Blake, Blake's a collector, like if you
send him, if you send me a nude, it's already gone,
right it leaked.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
It's not for me, it's for everyone.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
I look at it, and I'm a human snapchat when
it comes to saving things and digital things.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Your mind is a Snapchat.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
It'll only yeah, just I see it and then it's gone.
Then it's just in the deep recesses of my computer
that I'll never be able to find. With Blake, he's
going to categorize it. You'll have all the you know,
it'll be there forever.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
He'll tag it frumpy Zity Kyle. But Fisher's hemis.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
That's why I have to make sure to establish this
past because I do want to send him, Yeah, I
do want to send him funny picks. Uh, but I'm
I'm a little nervous about where they're going to end up.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
Don't be nervous.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Hey, did you.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Guys know that Jeffrey Jeffrey Dahmer uh serial killer?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Absolutely yes, my twin.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
He drilled in people's heads and then he'd pour uh.
McBride was telling me this. He poured uh fucking orange
juice in people's heads. So like do he wanted to
turn them into zombies. It's science. That was like his thing,
orange juice.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I don't know about the orange juice detail. But he
would for sure draw small like lobottomize his victims before
he would murder them.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Is that nice or does that mean I guess that's nice?

Speaker 3 (34:43):
Right?

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, I don't know. Then they don't know what's happening. No,
lobottomizing is nice. Way. You guys are just so negative.
I'm trying to be positive.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
The nicest thing would be to not murder them.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah, yeah, just go have coffee with it.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
But then if you are going to murder someone, you
shoot him right in the head. You just murder them.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
But he's not right, so he's the bottomizing them. So
they don't know what's happening at least, but.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
They still feel things.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Oh no, but they don't know. But they don't know,
deser No, this is not good.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
I mean I remember when I was I used to like, really,
I don't know, I'm not still obsessed with serial killers.
But my aunt used to have this encyclopedia of serial
killers at her house, and when I was really young,
I would always.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Was she doing these days?

Speaker 3 (35:29):
She's great, she has she loves her cats, she loves me.
It's all fine, she has a pool, She's an awesome person.
But this book was like the encyclopedia of serial killers.
And those books always have like ten pages of crime scene.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Photos pictures in the middle.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
Yes, and I was like strangely addicted and it would
scare the fuck out of me. But I was like
strangely addicted to looking at those photos.

Speaker 5 (35:58):
When did you jerk off to them?

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Whoa could? I love it? Actually?

Speaker 4 (36:05):
I think like the Hentai titties are pretty cool. But
why is it that every Henty video, the like super
hot chicks with the giant titties, also have like a
monster hog cock?

Speaker 1 (36:16):
What is that? There's not just one? Straight up No,
I don't know Hentai very well. I apologize.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
I'm also not in that world.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
It's like the CGI porno where you're like, you click
on it and you go this so this could be cool,
and you're like, whoa, look out good, the graphics have come.
It's pretty hot, and then it's just a giant vany
hog on a woman and you're like, it's not really
my thing?

Speaker 2 (36:39):
Is there any Yeah, well it's some people's thing, okay,
don't kink shame, okay.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
But it's all of it. I'm saying, is there a
little something for the freaks like me that's still.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
Like it natch natural cartoon?

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Well?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Have you looked up Henti woman no dick? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (36:54):
Have you googled that Henti woman no dick?

Speaker 4 (36:57):
That's too much I don't want to get I don't
want to start googling.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
Then you're in the weeds. Then you're a Hendti guy. Okay,
you don't want to be a I.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
Don't want to be a Hentai guy, and no, no
offense to the Hentai guy.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Maybe try googling specifically what you'd like, you know.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
But like then I'm like, see he's an accidental He's
like a thank oops this video? How did this come
into the queue?

Speaker 1 (37:16):
I'm not a familiar Sure is this a demon fucking
a woman?

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Here?

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Let's click on that, right?

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Yes, this is what. Here's what I'll say about any
animated pornography. It gets weird quick. It's like a portal
to bizarre stuff. You know, no kinkshaming, but it gets
it gets weird. It has a dark side to it
as well.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Well, we can kink shame, yeah, we can king shame
some stuff. Some stuffer is you know, fucking bizarre.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
It's bizarre. Saying it's bizarre doesn't necessarily mean it's shameful.
It's just saying it is bizarre.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Right now, let's well, let's dissect the word bizarre. The
root word by okay, that means the tzar pre bizarre.
A tzar was a king or a sultant in mid
century Russia.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Right were you when you jerked off on flights, Blake?

Speaker 1 (38:13):
I was twenty.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
I don't have a pinpoint date. I will try to
find the game pro and that got me going, well.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
Well, will you tell us about the plane, the experience,
the equipment as they call it, what the experience?

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Did you wait?

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Was it a nighttime fly? Was this midday? Were you
going there in the middle of the morning?

Speaker 1 (38:34):
Tell me about like the seat situation. Who were you
sitting next to it?

Speaker 4 (38:37):
Is this like a one seat on the other side
and two on the other because you're just flying from
LA from what airport to what?

Speaker 1 (38:45):
And what kind of pants are you rock and sweatpants?
Are these sweatpants? Is middle school? You're unaccompanied? Who were
you sitting next.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
To There's details that are foggy, but it was not
a night flight. It was like an afternoon flight.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Afternoon flight, afternoon flight.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
And there was a gentleman sitting next to me, but
he was sleeping. He was he was.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Wow, did you sleep, attack gentleman? There was a gentleman sleeping?

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Next year, I know, I know for damn certain you
guys must have had an instant in your teenage horniest
years that you jay oed a time or place that
was inappropriate or you just should have kept it on.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
Yeah, sure, Blake, we're not talking about us it's it's
in the hundreds, if not thousands.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
But we're talking about you right now. We didn't go
on another podcast to talk about it.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Okay, Hey, yeah, see we bring our dirty stories to
this podcast.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
It was pre this is important.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
So and what does that mean before?

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Yes, it was before we had oh thank you.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
So you were prematurely I was.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
Prematurely spilling my jo beans on another a podcast.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Wait, so this is so this is but this is
pre pre come or this is pre Okay, So you
just did an air pop on an airplane.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
I did an air pop on an airplane pre air pods.
So we know that's the time frame.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Well, that's the best time to do something like that,
when you're dry popping. Yeah, that's when.

Speaker 3 (40:19):
You can get away with it. Tell your kids so
you don't.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Have to clean up anything.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Well let's not.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Let's not freeze it like, that's when you can get
away with it.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
No, this is what I'm gonna tell my kids.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
It is though, and that's why we are living in
a worse time where now children when they're alone and
they're just in their horny est state and they're just
they're they're jiggling on the flight a little bit and
just the bounce is making their balls just kind of
just kind of just.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
Right just.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Off the seat, and the air pressure is kind of
walking them up. And you know there's a stewardess there
and she's a living woman, so that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
She's a walking, talking woman.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
And then there's a guy who's asleep next to you.
Is that a weird thing that turns you on for
no reason?

Speaker 1 (41:03):
That forearm hair?

Speaker 3 (41:04):
He's gone if you're watching space Jam Lola Bunny.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
But nowadays everyone has a goddamn video camera in their
pocket called a cell phone, and the kids are not
safe to jerk off anymore, right.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Thank you. You can't get away with nothing. Because what
was the.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Bad worst thing that was gonna happen in the dare
I say best decade Blakey the nineties? The worst thing
that was gonna happen is that guy's gonna wake up
and just see little Froe Blake just all throwed out,
just yanking his meat stick under.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
A game pro.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
I got a big fucking boner, right, you know, And
that would be a weird encounter, you'd land we'd have a.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Laugh about it.

Speaker 4 (41:42):
To have a laugh, he'd tell my dad, Guy next
to Yeah, the guy next to you definitely just gives
you a nod.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
He's like, this is important.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
This is also pre nine to eleven. So he'd see
my father as soon as we got off the flight.
He'd be like, dude, your son easy. I caught him
looking at Laura Kraft.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
He alright, all right, they all chest bump. He's all right, yeah, yeah,
he's all right, all right, all right.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Back to what durst, you just pitched a really good
movie because you could have this whole like this. No,
this lady and her best friend are on a buddy.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
And the best friend is like super pregnant, ready to pop.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
She's not supposed to go.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
And then you just keep cutting the husband having just
like the weirdest jerk off scenes like twenty five.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Scenes, right, and then you're back to the action.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
And then you're back to the heartfelt story, and then
you cut to the dumb dude just.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
Like, right, bro, this is the strangest.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Well it can also like you, like your original pitch,
I want to save some of that because you know
there was some meat on those bones and just to.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Those balls, so to speak.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Sure, well, yeah, like some of those scenes should be
pretty beautiful. Yes, well, because he's dealing with he's really
finding himself out there and he's really join he's underneath.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
The water outdoor Jack Sessions, for sure.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
He's jerking off. And right as he busts, he catches
the salmon that.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
It it jumps up for the nut and then he
grabs it.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
And he grabs it, yeah, just with his bare hands.
By the lip it's flipping around and then and then
it cuts to him eating it perfect, yes, exactly. Guess
what he doesn't have any lowries? What's it going to
use to season it? Oo?

Speaker 3 (43:24):
Now that's nasty.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
I don't know what is it gonna use?

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Hey, I don't know he needs something salty. I don't know.
I don't know what he's going to use. Let's let
the audience decide.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
Adam, what would be salty to your knowledge.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Something that salty and kind of buttery tats and I'm
not sure.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
I don't know what is that?

Speaker 3 (43:41):
The description alloy is what it's called.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah, it tastes exactly like uh from all the loads
that I've swallowed, uh swallowed, not tasting salty and buttery.
Salty and buttery, right.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
And is a valid replacement for lowries.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Or like an old bay or like an old.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Is that like a seasoning?

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Yeah, it's another season cool tight.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
Yeah, well I think we got some. I was picturing
like a wild horses running by the guy when he's
just stroking it.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Yes, maybe he gets maybe one stops and sees him
doing right and just looks like he's gonna charge him,
and then just bows down. You know, horses get like
a cross.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
The right one hu yeah there, Neil, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
One in front of the other and then just bows
down like it's some sort of magical moment between the
two of them. And then for the rest of the movie,
he just rides that butt naked horseback.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Uh huh oh and he does a hands free e jack.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Yeah, and he's riding it bareback.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
That's also kind of a sexual term. There's a lot here, guys.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah, there's so much here.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Great movie.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
I would love to spend some moments on this some
of that, and then also roll through like twelve of
them quick like oh yeah, yeah, he does it on
the way up, he bangs. There's twenty five. We have
to get through twenty.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Five a love Yeah, you're gonna want to move.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
It all every single cutaway should be a new genre
for sure, genre bending.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
And guess what it's a it's a ticking cock, right,
but that cock has a tick twenty five times and
that's a lot of ticking.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
And what's cool is it by the end when he
when he gets up to like the fifteen's the late teens, like.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
When the movies when the audience is glued to their
seats in the screen. Right, it's tough. He can't just
go back to back pops.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
What about the dark nut of the soul?

Speaker 2 (45:27):
Dark blake? Hit it?

Speaker 3 (45:30):
Yes, points, you give it to yourself.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
There you go, baby, Yes points.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
You earned it?

Speaker 4 (45:37):
Great?

Speaker 1 (45:37):
Thank you? Cool?

Speaker 4 (45:38):
And then you know what, we can show something earlier
that foreskin shadows what happens later.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
The way you didn't know it was going to be
back shadows.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
I'm just saying, if we can find something in the
right vein.

Speaker 4 (45:54):
You, yes, And I don't want to rip off any
old movie like Shaft or.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
Yes Go There anymore anymore. Wow, he's gotta take a
sip of beer after that run.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
My boy had.

Speaker 3 (46:08):
To cool down.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
He's gotta wet that whistle.

Speaker 4 (46:11):
But like the soundtrack could be amazing. You could get
like Jaretha Franklin.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Oh yes, but.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
Hell yeah, do you guys want to hear some crazy shit?

Speaker 3 (46:23):
Yeah? Wait, hold on, we got some breaking news here.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
I was just in Yosemite for almost a week with
my family and stuff.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Hell yeah, bro.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
And first of all, Yosemite is dope. Go check it out.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
It's way dope.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
El cap. There's like some sequoia trees that you could
drive through.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
That's the really the only national park I've ever been to.
It's fucking stunning, gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
It's crazy. But so we're up there and my little.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
One is like, there's a worm in my poo poo and.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
We're like, huh oh, my god.

Speaker 4 (46:57):
Emma goes to check the duke in. Sure enough, there's
a little worm going and then we're like, well, he's
got pinworm. So we have to like all take this medicine.
And then the next day my big dog is like, Dad,
there's a snake in a worm in my poop poo too.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Yeah, there's a raccoon coming out of my penis. He
was like, he's like, I had a worm too.

Speaker 4 (47:19):
So we're all like boiling her clothes and like changing
the sheets and like emailing everyone at the schools and stuff.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Wait, wait, what does that?

Speaker 2 (47:26):
What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (47:26):
Why?

Speaker 2 (47:27):
Worms in your poop? What does that mean?

Speaker 4 (47:29):
So, like, if you're a little kid and you're like
sucking your thumb all the time, like I guess there's
like in germs, like somehow there's like eggs that can
get like left like on your fingernails and stuff like that,
and then you suck on your thumb and then it
goes into your body and then worms grow in your
digestive track and they eat your food, right, and then

(47:49):
like every once in a while you shit one out
And like, I'm just checking my dukie every day. Different
than dookie trends, but it is gnarlist that's cool.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
So how do you check your doukie? Do you do?
You fish it out of the toilet and like take
a fork and kind of smash.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
It up and mash it in my hands. I squeezed. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
Do you kind of get one of those like garlic
peelers and kind of run it through that?

Speaker 1 (48:09):
And yeah, how do you check exactly the playdose style? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (48:14):
Do you get kids playdoes?

Speaker 1 (48:16):
These are all good ideas? I should look into it.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
You squish it out, make it look like dreads coming
out of the little toys, Yo.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
You dookie, and then you just kind of get up
all weird and you turn around your eyeball it and
you're like looking for any movement. And then when you're like, okay,
it's not that.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Why is this making my butthole itch?

Speaker 4 (48:34):
I mean, hey, I can't. I'm waiting for it, but
I already took the medicine.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
How big was this thing? Man? How big was the worm?
Like a half inch long?

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Well that's so, I mean that's pretty big.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Sorry, I said half a schlong. So it was pretty big.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
So your kids at least six inches. They got some
big old wambows. I'm down there, I know they did.
Sure do huge cocks.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
They got my exact same.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
So do the worms get transferred through clothing to other
people in the house? Why do you have to boil
everything they can? Oh my god, because like.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
They the eggs.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
There's like eggs on your butthole, like you gotta wash
your ship.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
It's crazy, clear wild stuff.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
It's cool that your children are investigating their shit intensely
enough that they saw the worm.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Yeah, how do you see the first Was it like
a lot of worms?

Speaker 1 (49:24):
No, it's one.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
So he was three, and he's three and a half
or whatever, almost a little more. But he just came
out and was like, there's a worm in and you're
like what.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
First of all, why are you looking like what?

Speaker 4 (49:36):
Second of all, like he must have felt a little
squirm or something like that or heard it screaming from
the toilet bowl. Well, but like Emma didn't believe him
because you're just like, all right, but then kids.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Yeah, you think he's making is doing some fun. Make
believes right.

Speaker 4 (49:53):
We're all about the worm bits in our house too,
which is like extra confusing.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
There's a dragon in my poop poop?

Speaker 4 (49:58):
Right, I pissed firecrackers, right, But then she checked it
out and was like sure enough. And then Arnie, we
were like is he trying to like be part of it?
Because it got a lot.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Of attention right right, right right, and we were like, see, like, uh,
I have worms in my poo poo too.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Right, Like you have no worms in your poo poo.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
I'm cool.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
You didn't see it was like twice as big, Yeah,
there's an earthworm and his dookie. It's like, right, that
doesn't add up.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
You dig that up from the backyard.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
Yeah, why are there roly polleys in your poop.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
There's just like you guys went fishing, there's like minnows
in there.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
Yeah, dad, check out my turn.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
Did you guys call the big worms bloodsuckers back in
the day?

Speaker 3 (50:37):
What leeches?

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (50:39):
Like the big earthworms? Yeah, for sure, big earthworms. We
always call them bloodsuckers.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
No, I've heard them called nightcrawlers.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, nightcrawlers because when are they nightcrawlers?

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Because they come out at night?

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Because they come out at night. Yeah, that was the
most fun thing as a kid when uh we would
like be camping going fishing the next morning and I
was like, you got to go find those earthworms, those
nightcrawlers to uh so we can fish the next morning.
And then it's just you're hunting. You're covered in mud,
and you feel like you're doing actual work getting them worms.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
Early bird gets the worm man. That's where the saying
comes from.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
The worms are cool. So the moral of the story
is my kids are cool because worms are cool.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Yea, they did they feel sick? God did they feel?

Speaker 1 (51:23):
You don't even know. There's just parasites. They live in you.

Speaker 4 (51:25):
They eat your food, and I guess like if you
don't check your dookie. It just takes like three months
to cycle out. So you guys have all probably had.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Them for sure. This is the meat worm, do you?

Speaker 2 (51:36):
And I'm always investigating my dukie, So that's weird that
I haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
With the garlic thing, I.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
Always take it out, smash it up with a fork.
That's why I kind of that was sort of my
what I do with it.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah, every time I take a ship.

Speaker 4 (51:48):
I shit on a plate and then I kind of
shake it off into the toilet.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Yeah, I just eat it, and you guys know that.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
I'm siphoning it through a little thing like you're searching
for gold.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Right, that's how we met.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
Well these are Yeah, I'm feeling like maybe we have
a little olknor face because Carl was talking about Kyle.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Yes, it's me. I don't have the rape van with me.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
He was talking about the red meat worm's last pod.
And now all of a sudden, your kids have.

Speaker 4 (52:14):
Is the new saying instead of yolk on your face,
you got a little worm in your butt.

Speaker 3 (52:18):
I got a little worm in your pool.

Speaker 4 (52:20):
Guys, I got a little worm in my butt.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Now hear me out, guys, hear me out. Because I
think this is a really really good idea. Do we uh,
since we're talking sending nudes to each other, which I'm like,
I mean, maybe sure, but don't we want to take
really artful, artistic hardcore porno shoot hard uh and like

(52:49):
having only fans or something?

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (52:51):
Yeah, we do, don't don't we don't?

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Don't we interesting phrase of a question.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Only fans? Maybe we have like a calendar? Maybe did
I chunk? Did you guys hear that? I'm saying you froze?

Speaker 1 (53:08):
But maybe maybe we do, Adam, Maybe we do.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Maybe I'm saying we do a maybe we started only
fans where it's just real hot content from us, but
and then I kind of walked that back. I think
what we should do is we just we have like
really very sexual encounters with maybe with each other. Sensual

(53:31):
I was gonna say. I said sexual, and what I
mean is sensual.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
Photos, different things, very different.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
That we sell when we go on tour, and they're
like calendars we do like sexy calendars, you know, calenders.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
Okay, I love your merch booth ideas.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
This is a merch I got.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
My merch brain is just fireing today. I don't know
what it is your.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Merch brain firing. What other thing that we talked about.
He's boosting. He's just like he's boosting. Everything's a freaking
opportunity with Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
Yeah, firing episode just a calendar, Like, so just twelve
photos or like, are we talking about one of those
three hundred and sixty five where you pull one off
every day?

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Hell, I think I think that's that might be too
much work and a lot of nudity.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
But think about this. Think about this.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
If on the first day it's just a shot of
your flaccid penis, and then every day you peel back,
it's like it gradually getting harder.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
That's going to have to be a big calendar for
Meah oh, it gets harder. And then and then on
New Year's Eve you bust. Yes, yeah, New Year's Eve
if you bust, all right?

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Right, oh wow, so there's like actual Yeah, that's kind
of interesting.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
Wait, so this just isn't the erection growing you're actually
stimulating yourself.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
No, well, you don't see it.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
This is a flip book with three hundred and sixty
five frames, and the first frame is a flaccid wang
and then the last frame is a ces a cumshot.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Well, we could release that and then ever say just
say it's our collective dick. And what we could do
is take this much photo of just a little one
in photo of each of our dicks.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
I actually like this idea.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
It's a Frankenstein version of a dick, and it's just
our collective dick.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
So we're never Frank Weenie, you're.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
Only showing this much of your dick.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
I would be down to put all of our dicks
together in the photo shop and make a bigger dick.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Wait, who's the vulture on on the crew? Who's the head?

Speaker 1 (55:28):
Bro? Hang on?

Speaker 4 (55:30):
But I hold up, I said, I said, Frank and Weenie,
and I ain't get a yes point?

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Oh, yes, points point. I'm gonna go playing traffic yest.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
There we go. You got your points, bro, and give
you flowers.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
What do you think I'm here for the points.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
We're here for the damn point fowers.

Speaker 4 (55:50):
God, it's so crazy that Adam you took that there,
because that's exactly what I was thinking, hm with theizzing
on the New Year's I was gonna say that that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Great mind slow, and that's and that's why it works
so well together. Jersey.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Yeah, let's put our heads together, I mean.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Head on collisions, baby, And I'm not talking crash test me.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Yikes.

Speaker 5 (56:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
And so I think that's like some really cool uh
merch or n f T Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
Yeah, that's wrong. Actually, I was thinking that, like all
this NFT ship I could give a fuck about. But
doesn't it seem like the best place to drop like
your nudes or sex tape if you are going to
do that, right, like make it hell of exclusive?

Speaker 4 (56:33):
Yeah yeah, but what do you what do you want
from your dropping your sex tape?

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Well, you could still see it. It could still be
passed around the internet to everyone, but only one person
actually owns it. You could still like post.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
It wherever, but not if that person has it, yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:47):
Right, like only one person owns it if you make
it super exclusive.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Yeah, but you could still it could still be everywhere
on the internet.

Speaker 4 (56:55):
If that person puts it out there, right, But then
that devalues it, right, So you're just buying it to
put it out there.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
There's the whole thing of value is there's only one.
There can only be one.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Oh my god, we're so dumb.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
We don't have So you say, come over to my house,
I have the nude. I will show it to you,
but you have to pay at the door to see it.
To see Blake's Blake's gooch.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
Yeah, I think I bet Blake would get the most
money for for his news, right, that's what I think you.
I think you would, you would collect the most coin.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Yeah, I could get behind that. If you watch Kyle's
n FT, it's like that movie The Ring. We're like, you.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
See his butthole, like the hair, and all of a sudden,
this fucking girl with long hair curls and sucking date.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
That would be a sick ass NFT.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
Well, how did they not make a ring? Porno?

Speaker 1 (57:45):
Pity?

Speaker 2 (57:46):
This ain't the ring?

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Oh bro, I guarantee you that shit exists, the cock ring.
It exists, for sure.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
It's just the old ring. Dude, it's somebody's buttole.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Blake. If you gotta rolls like a crazy serial killer?
Would you? And they're like, but we expect we want
him bald? Would you shave your head? What would it
take for you to shave your head?

Speaker 1 (58:11):
M m mmmmmmmm shave not just a haircut, it's important.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
This is a shaved head situation. Woke has gone seven
seasons you're already done with woke Okay, right, you don't
need the money is now.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
I'll tell you what if I'm in this I'm in
this southern heat long enough, I might shave my damn head.
I'll tell you right, Hey, God, damn, it's hot as hell.
I got a sweaty back.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Of my neck.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
Dude, you are okay, but now you're deflecting. What would
it take?

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Yeah, this is a great question. What would it take
to cut your hair? This is a great question.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
Not cut your hair, shave your head.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
Shave your head?

Speaker 3 (58:51):
Uh huh, I mean it would. It would be a
bit of an identity crisis for me.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
Why don't you cry about it?

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Why don't you cry?

Speaker 3 (59:01):
I would do it for a role though, I would like,
Thank you God grows back.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
How long would it take you to grow your hair back?
Two and a half three years?

Speaker 3 (59:11):
I have no idea.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
I mean, you would never because it would go through
that weird phase that you went through when we lived together,
where it just was like a little mushroom top.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
You could get back through it, the Guarini phase.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
Yes, where you just look like Corbyn blue like for
like two years straight.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Oh, sir, I don't like it. Corkin blue? Who's that
he was.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
The kid from a high school musical type?

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Nice pole?

Speaker 3 (59:38):
Wow, durors, don't act like you don't know. You don't
know about Corbyn.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Blue dude never saw high school musical either.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
Oh okay, stop the presses.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
Are we giving flowers? I'm not giving flowers?

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Okay, So first of all, hang on, you don't watch
Game of Thrones and high school musical? Are you guys watching?

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Man?

Speaker 2 (59:57):
You gotta watch the good stuff?

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Just shut your.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Big What are you guys investing in car shows and swimming?
Jesus Christ?

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
You don't watch high school musical or Game of Thrones?
Get the fuck out.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
At least I seen men in black? Okay, you know what?
Whoa sh I saw? At least I seen men in black.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Bro seen men in black.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
This dude brought a gun to a knife five right,
No more, mister knife guy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
I've seen it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Just got seated.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
He's like, okay, I've seen it, you've seen it. I've
seen I don't remember the last part where you were
looking underneath a cat's collar. I don't remember.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
You don't really don't remember.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
They zoom out in the entire universe is just in
a marble that's in a cat's collar and you're like,
oh fuck, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Yeah no, I was too. I probably left the theater
to go watch Austin Powers again. That's probably what I.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Did, was like, all right, fair, that's tight. I would
see you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
If I leave fifteen minutes early, I could catch all
of Austin Powers so.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
I can get the minime reveal again.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
Yeah, baby, yeah, I make this shit look good. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Just the two of us, I'll make you horny. Baby.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
We're getting older, we're making we need to be making
a little bit better decisions. I mean, I remember back
in the day, me and Austin Anderson, friend of the Pod,
we would drive up to Santa Barbara when we were
like eighteen years old, and we'd go to Santa Barbara
and then we'd walk around and look for open houses
and meet the kids that were renting their rooms, like

(01:01:42):
on what is that's main drag called like playa vista,
I think, and would go and be like interested in
like renting a room, and then would be like, well,
what are you guys doing tonight? Maybe we should party?
You see our future roommates.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
And high speed bro BoNT and.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Everyone had parties. So we did that like five different places.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Almost people murderers, get all.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
These people's numbers, and then at that night we would
just like call each one and be like, what are
you guys doing? And they're like, oh, I made it's
at this party. These guys might rent a room. We
had no We just wanted to go party.

Speaker 4 (01:02:17):
And why did you want to do that up in
Santa Barbara as opposed to where you guys were in college.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Because it was a fun thing. It was a fun
thing to go do because we hadn't experienced Santa Barbara yet,
so we were just like, let's go up uh, and
then we would end up. We did this like three
times and we ended up.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Would you crash at their houses?

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
We did twice and one time. This is what would
kind of percolated his memory was once I tried to
sleep in the car with Austin, Like we just pulled
over on the side of the road and just started
to sleep and he was snoring so loudly that I
just slept in the yard next to the car the
car and I remember like it's just people were like,

(01:02:56):
I remember just a girl was jogging at like six
thirty in the morning, I'm like Jesus Christ, you rock.

Speaker 4 (01:03:04):
You just roll over and start doing push ups, and
you're like, you gotta get after it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
I'm right, yeah, just immediately go back to sleep.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
Early bird gets.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
The word I do push ups in my own puke.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
There was a time when I was so drunk and
I drove down to Orange County from Lave Goodbye, allegedly
drove down to see Blake at his father's house. Uh,
And I was so wasted, and I think I did
some cocaine that night and then made phone calls. I
remember making phone calls the whole way down and then

(01:03:34):
finding a beach and then sleeping on the beach. And
this is when.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
The listeners go, Yep, that's why he's the sober friend.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Dude. I slept on the beach and woke up at
eleven a m. And there was a volleyball game happening,
like over me, that's amazing. You just woke up.

Speaker 3 (01:03:53):
You need a fourth man.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Super sunburned dude. I was fully jean jacketed out too,
Like I was full. I had jean jacket, sunglasses, pants,
and just like I.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Bet you had a really sick trucker hat during that
time too. I remember, I remember that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
I feel like there's a detail you're missing, Kle.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
What's the detail.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Did you not have like a fake silver grill in
your mouth like teeth?

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Yeah? Probably, dude, Probably.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
Feel like you might have woke up with some fake
like a fake grill in your mouth.

Speaker 4 (01:04:22):
Do you think they thought you washed up from the shore,
they thought you were a pirate?

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Oh my god, a pirate from another time. It's a
shipwrecked man.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
That it's a dirty brown water pirate.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
Don't touch it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Pre Carl from Workaholics. So there's no explanation other than
you were an insane Captain Jack Sparrow probably pre Captain Jack.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
I feel like when we were younger, we were just
more willing to sleep places that weren't pliable.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
Well you don't run the numbers in your head of survival.
You just go, yeah, I'm gonna go to bed right.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
Here, right betting that in the ozarks.

Speaker 4 (01:05:02):
I'm just gonna find a corner of wherever we're sleeping,
and I'm just gonna do the hands in the armpits,
just laying on the glor on the floor style.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
That's for you. That's it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
I'm gonna just sleep in a little owl's house in
a tree, folded up in a little ball.

Speaker 4 (01:05:15):
Oh, Adam doesn't like owls. Why don't you go podcast
all night with your friends?

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
You shut your bait, go talk for another four hours
about come all right? Yeah, no, that's great.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
Why don't Why don't you put some cum on the table, Grant,
I'll be over here putting food.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Put more cum on the table. I have to deprogram
my children after they listen to your podcast. No, no,
they'll be proud. They'll be very proud.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
That's gonna live forever, right, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Kyle, when you were getting your hair brush, remember you
came back and you're like, dude, my mom was like
brushing my hair and it hurts so bad. I hit her.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Yeah, I punched. That's I punched my mother. Mama. Yes,
did I punched my mother? She was home and through
my hair and it was just punched her or you
like pushed her away. Oh no, I punched her.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
Well how old were you were you when you were
assaulting your mother? Because you were a big kid, so
you punching? You punching your mom?

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
Probably big check hands. No, I was probably. I mean
I was like eight or nine and We played slug
bug all the time, so it was like punching was
kind of like what we did, right, but in there
you with your mom, Yeah, for sure is your mom
the bug. My mom was was like, yeah, you can
punch me in the shoulder, but like you have to
be careful, like be be you know, don't try and hurt.

(01:06:34):
But the one time I tried to hurt, I was
dad hitting you. We're playing a game. It's called punch
bugs slug Buggy slug bug.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Did you ever go to school and they're like they
have to talk with your mom because they're like covered
in bruises? Did your mom slug you back?

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
My mom did hit me back? Yeah? She also year
old boy, Yes she was. Yes, it was it was
like a mutual like kind of thing that we would do.
She was like tough and I was like, you know
ten or eleven or something like that. But when she
was combing to mutual, when she was combing through my hair,
I hit her way too hard. You like this, it
was very wrong. Where did you hit her? Like the

(01:07:11):
shoulder on the shoulder, but you know how you can
hit like the rustle and then you can also hit
the bone and like the bone kind of hurts a
little more. I hit her on the bone and it's like,
I'm sorry, Mama, but I didn't know. I didn't really know.
You know, it's a reaction. Sorry, MoMA, where's my mom?
I got no mom in my headphone? Sorry, mam cat.

(01:07:33):
That's intense.

Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:07:34):
I love how she's like grooming you, getting lice out
of your hair as like a favor A.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Yeah, it wasn't like a. It wasn't like it was
like out of nowhere, like she pulled your hair or something.
This was like she was doing something very.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
Kind for it. Yes, and I took it, yes, to take.

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
Care of you. And it just like a knee jerk
reaction to be like, mom.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Oh, are we playing the game.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
It's one of those things where it's like it's funny
until it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:07:59):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
I get that though. It's sometimes when you're in pain,
it's like a it's science.

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
It's like the dudes who jump out people at Halloween
and then just get socked in the mouth.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
Yeah, it's funny until your mom calls us and asks
if we will take this pod down?

Speaker 4 (01:08:14):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:08:14):
I mean, she had reconstructive surgery. She's fine. It's a game.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
She had to get a nose job.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
You got a new nose out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Which we're gonna have some hot merch coming down the pipeline.
If I have my.

Speaker 7 (01:08:26):
Ways calendars, pornos, then of our buttholes, the photos of
our dicks, photoshop together as one dick, Frank and Weenie.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
And stay tuned for when we come to your city
and perform. It's your porno theater.

Speaker 3 (01:08:42):
Now, would you guys do this?

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
Would you release a photo of your butthole? If we
all took photos of our butthole and then they just
took it was just we we split the butthole into
fours and it's just you pissed.

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
Honestly, I'm into anything where we're splitting our private parts
and making one and then people have to guess which
who is what. Yeah, Like, I think that's so cool.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
Too, That is Arthur.

Speaker 1 (01:09:07):
This is important.

Speaker 5 (01:09:09):
That it's important.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
I think I think.

Speaker 2 (01:09:12):
People would dig it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
Man, this is important, Like the product will be so
worth it. It'll be proud of it for my entire life.

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
Like you know, wait, you'll see our dick.

Speaker 1 (01:09:23):
People are gonna lose and be like, yo, this is important.
Has the best drops they did the butthole drop. Did
you get it? It sold out?

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:09:31):
It was weird, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
It's our dick. Blake said it right there. It's called dick.

Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
I will never ever ever show my dick to the public.
I will show our dick.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
All the time, every day.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
Collective dick, our collective buttle.

Speaker 4 (01:09:45):
Should we switch it up though, so like somebody like
it's it's my base, and then like Adams Space next time,
Kyle's head like we there's like, however any different versions?

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, if you collect them all. If
you collect them all.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
You got to collect them all.

Speaker 3 (01:09:59):
You can.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
I don't like that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
You can kind of like backpage of Mad magazine. It
together like folded, and you can, if you know how
to fold right, you can figure out.

Speaker 4 (01:10:07):
What all of our dicks look like, or like a
garbage pail kid puzzle where if you flip them all over,
it's the butthole.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
That's a really good idea.

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
If you clicked all sixteen or whatever of the dicks,
you flip them all over and you get the butthole.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
Tops get at us. I don't want anything coming at us.

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
Well wait, Carl, I thought you liked this idea.

Speaker 1 (01:10:28):
No, I don't want anything tracing back to reality.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
If you're out, we're all out.

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
I like the idea of using one quarter. I don't
like the idea of giving them a trail to see
the real thing. Like what, No, it's not. It's a
trail to see the quartered butthole. Oh yeah, which is
also a magic eye of Kyle's dick. I mean magic eye.
I could never do them. Those are tight.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
Oh my god, it's all four of our buttholes. And
then the magic eye if you stare into it long enough, right,
is your dick r dick?

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
Yeah, but then you're gonna fully see my personal dick. No,
you'll just see the magic guy. The magic guy outline.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
It's just a magic guy outline.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
Get over it. Yeah, okay, that's cool, as long as
you're not seeing my own personal dick.

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
How do you build a magic eye? Because that? Hey, also,
I feel good merch bring magic guys back.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
So back to work.

Speaker 4 (01:11:25):
I worked yesterday with Mark Evan Jackson, who did a
couple episodes of Workaholics.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
Funny guy, Yes, super funny dude.

Speaker 4 (01:11:30):
He's been on almost everything, and he was saying, like
so often young men come up to him and say
this thing's not gonna suck itself, which is a line
that he said on our show. And this is like
super it was like a super straight lace guy. So
I was wondering if you guys can think of, even
with snapchat memory, who we gave like the worst case

(01:11:53):
scenario roll to where like people come up to them
and are like quoting the worst fucking life ever.

Speaker 3 (01:11:59):
Probably just probably the girl who played just Anna and
then talk about slapping their pussy tours.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
Oh yeah, that's right, that's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Yeah, I don't I don't remember. There's so much of
the show that I don't remember. Oh yeah, after season two,
I do not remember three, four, five, six or seven
at all.

Speaker 6 (01:12:21):
It's like Game of Thrones, Like I'll see photos and
be like, oh yeah, kind of well, Like people will
all the time say something to me that's way off
the cuff, right, and I'm like, oh am I about
to fight a man?

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
Like they'll just say some ship that I'm just like
what it's so, I couldn't even tell you. It's just
way out of bounce and I'm just like I don't know,
and they're like, that's you said that, that's you, And
I'm like what, right, and then they have to like
back explain and then they're disappointed, and I'm like, I'm sorry,
we said a lot of shit in that show. There's
a lot of stuff, and you never know what someone's

(01:12:57):
gonna like. You know that they're gonna grab a hold
of like the big catchphrases, the tight buttholes there ready
for the let's go on, those kind of things, right,
But like the deep cuts, it's because it's like when
you watch a show with a group of friends, like
one little thing might stick out to you, guys, and
then you say that to each other all the time, right,

(01:13:18):
it's science, and then you come to us and we
don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (01:13:22):
A lot of times.

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
Well, Blake just stayed here with me this past weekend,
and he didn't undo the covers, didn't get under the covers.

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
He's a monster.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
He slept on top of the covers. And it also
doesn't even look like he used a pillow. Well, yeah,
he didn't get under the covers, and it seemed like
he went out of the way to not use pillows.

Speaker 4 (01:13:46):
But this is the same dude who in the hotels
will not sleep on the bed. He'll just sleep on
the floor with like the comforter.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
Oh yeah, what the fuck is that weird? He'll sleep
on the floor next to the best He's the weirdest guy.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
I know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
The fact that he just invited a bunch of people
over there at three am, then goes to bed, then
doesn't go underneath the covers. Very nice. It's a very
nice house. These guest rooms are are great. I could
see if this is like a dorm room or something,
and you're like, I don't know, there might be all
kinds of weird shit underneath. HEAs like, these are linens,
like you could have slept with linen.

Speaker 1 (01:14:22):
These are linens and things.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
Honestly, I think in my mind I don't do it
because I get hot easily when I sleep, so I
just sleep on top.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:31):
We also first night explained to him how the thermostat
upstairs worked. I was like, this is yours, so you
can do it whatever. If you like it really cold,
you could just put it really cold. And he's like,
right on, did not touch the termistad slept on top
of the coverers though in his clothes. For sure.

Speaker 3 (01:14:49):
I didn't feel down.

Speaker 1 (01:14:50):
It just didn't get comfortable, like, didn't even try to
get comfortable. What's up with that?

Speaker 4 (01:14:54):
I can't do that. I run hot, I gotta get
the clothes off.

Speaker 3 (01:14:58):
Yeah, I mean I was exhausted. I was done.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
Sure, Yeah we were going hard man.

Speaker 3 (01:15:03):
Yeah we went.

Speaker 1 (01:15:04):
Sleep better under the covers, man, it's real, like in
a nice, cool room. I don't know why I was
so sorry. I yes, it's because I sleep on the floor.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
I slept in my jeans on top of the bed.

Speaker 3 (01:15:14):
Dude, the more I think, like that weird drunk sleep
where you're you're not awake, but you wake up like
you didn't sleep at all.

Speaker 4 (01:15:22):
Yeah, it's called alcohol poison and you're almost dead. You
know that weird sleep necessarily but you can't move and
the room is spinning.

Speaker 3 (01:15:29):
You know that sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:15:30):
Prealysis when the grim Reaper visits you.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
You know that.

Speaker 1 (01:15:37):
Yeah, we know, we don't we know.

Speaker 3 (01:15:39):
Well, we had a lot of fun this weekend, That's
all I'll say.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
Oh well, I will say that it took like so
long to not be drunk for me that next day. Like,
I understand why you had to stop drinking. Because you
drink until five six am. You would have been drunk
for part of that drive home, and you don't want
to do that.

Speaker 3 (01:15:58):
Yeah, no, I was making the responsible choice by going
to bed at three in the morning.

Speaker 4 (01:16:03):
Yes, would you eat for breakfast on before you left?
How'd you get your mind right?

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
He didn't. He didn't even grab coffee. We have coffee here.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
What did you do for five hours? You hit a
gas station?

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
I called him like like a half hour into his
drive when I woke up. He's like, yeah, I left
like a half hour, four five minutes ago something like that.
And I'm like, oh, cool, you get it. You get
anything to eat here? And he goes, no, I really
could use a coffee or something, though, Like you didn't
stop to get yourself something.

Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
He's like, no, even before you left the house and
leaves no trays this time. You don't know where he's been,
where he's going.

Speaker 3 (01:16:37):
It's not malicious, dude, I just don't think about it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
You're a stupid dumb half.

Speaker 1 (01:16:44):
It's wild though, Like I forgot to eat last week. Yeah,
there's a kitchen there, there's coffee pods right there. God,
it'd be nice.

Speaker 3 (01:16:50):
Look, I had like half a can of Coke zero
in the car from the day before.

Speaker 5 (01:16:55):
So.

Speaker 3 (01:16:56):
I kind of weaned off of that.

Speaker 2 (01:16:59):
So you're good to go. You're good to go.

Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
Wait, so when you went to the gas station because
it's a five hour drive, you gotta go. Yeah, you
ain't go inside and just get like a fucking joffe.

Speaker 1 (01:17:10):
Get a game. Stop game.

Speaker 2 (01:17:12):
Yeah, Blake, we've established you like to jerk off weird scenarios.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
Did you kick it in the car? Did you did
you know the name? Did you do it?

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
I'm reformed, man. That's not how That's not how I
get down anymore. That was junior high.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
That's not how you are anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:17:29):
For those of you at home, my front upper four
teeth are fake. Those are caps, and underneath them is
crazy fangs.

Speaker 2 (01:17:36):
Yeah, he's got a nice Joe Biden grill.

Speaker 3 (01:17:39):
It was a great purchase, made of toilet looked great.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
Oh is that right?

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:17:44):
They're porcelain. Wow, these are Toto This that's some high
fancy right there, chompers American standards.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
I might have told the story, but we were at
like not Scary Farm. Yeah, No, we were at Hunt
for Universal and we're walking through one of those mazes.
It was like really dark and there's just like it's
kind of strobe lights, and she jumped out in front
of me.

Speaker 3 (01:18:11):
And she and she was selling a choro. I just
got pissed.

Speaker 2 (01:18:15):
Yeah, she was working at the popcorn stand. No, and
she jumps out and I just socked.

Speaker 1 (01:18:22):
I just did.

Speaker 2 (01:18:22):
I did like a rabbit punch and it punched her
in the face. And then I like went to consoleer
after I realized, like, oh, I just hit a person
because I was scared and I just punched him. And
then I went like, I'm so sorry and went like
this and then just cupped her titty.

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
Yeah, where is this going? And then.

Speaker 2 (01:18:43):
I go, I go, I'm so sorry, and then just
like went out to reach her to be like I'm
so sorry. And I didn't know it was a girl,
you know, she's run a costume.

Speaker 3 (01:18:49):
She was like.

Speaker 2 (01:18:50):
And then I feel this and then I'm like, god,
I'm sorry. And Chlode's like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
Adam, Yeah, he held her underwater by the vagina.

Speaker 3 (01:18:58):
So you you hit her and then he sexually assaulted.

Speaker 4 (01:19:02):
Yes, I did run Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (01:19:07):
Hey, this is important.

Speaker 3 (01:19:11):
This is all allegedly and to that these are scary,
to that scary clown. Adam just he'll be apologizing at
the end of the pot. I did not mean he
didn't mean to elbow you in the face and then
squeeze both your titties and I said it was.

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
A little rabbit punch and uh, and then I just
had to give a honkyn. It was an accident, you know,
accidents happened. Do you remember when we went to the
SNL after party and I almost got in a fight
with Andy Samberg?

Speaker 3 (01:19:45):
Oh? Yeah, it was.

Speaker 4 (01:19:46):
It was a weird shouting match of two people not
listening to each other.

Speaker 2 (01:19:52):
It was like music was super loud. Jillian was writing
for sw that season. Remember it was the season we
were writing Workaholics, and we aren't sure if Jillian was
going to be able to do it because she's now
a writer on SNL and we weren't sure if scheduling
was going to work out.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
We went to go give her her flowers.

Speaker 2 (01:20:08):
Yes, and she invited us to come stay with her
for the weekend and see go to like the SNL
after parties with her and stuff, and we're like, oh,
hell yeah. And so we go to SNL and we
go to New York to visit Jillian and we go
to the after party and Andy Sandberg's there and we're
all fans and it was cool, and she introduces us

(01:20:28):
and the music's loud and he's sitting across the table
and Jillian goes, Andy, this is my friend Adam Adam.
This is Andy. And I go, hey, I'm Adam and
he goes, no, I'm Andy, it's Andy. And I go,
I know, I know I'm Adham. He's like, it's Andy,
it's Andy. And I'm like, I know, I know you're Andy.

(01:20:51):
I'm Adam right, and he's like, I'm Andy. And it
was like that went back and forth, and I was like.

Speaker 1 (01:20:57):
I know you're Andy, I know you're a.

Speaker 2 (01:21:00):
Jillian runs back in and like went to the bar
and came back and we're like, he's standing up, We're yelling.
I'm like, I know you're Andy, I'm a.

Speaker 1 (01:21:09):
I'm like, what is happening?

Speaker 2 (01:21:13):
And then and then we had the same agent at
that time, and my agent called me that next week
when we were back in the writer's room at Workaholics,
and he was like, hey, uh, Andy called me and
said that you guys almost got in a fistfight because
he misheard you and thought you were calling him Adam.

Speaker 1 (01:21:30):
I didn't know it got back real yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21:32):
And then uh, and then he was like yeah, he
just wanted to. And actually we squashed it there and
he was like, oh, I'm sorry. People call me at
him all the time. It just bugs me. I thought
you were doing it to like shit on me, and
I'm like, oh.

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
No, I thought you were quoting an old YouTube video.
I got pissed bro over.

Speaker 1 (01:21:49):
Back at him over back.

Speaker 2 (01:21:57):
I jerked off in a TJ Max once.

Speaker 1 (01:22:00):
And this wasn't. I am shun where. I think we
might be a little premature on that end.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
I guess, wait, did you because you remember like the
most legit hiding spot when you were like in oh,
in the apartment stores, was you'd go through the clothes
into the middle.

Speaker 1 (01:22:17):
Oh, yeah, the best.

Speaker 2 (01:22:19):
Now it wasn't. I must have been like twelve thirteen
something like that.

Speaker 1 (01:22:23):
I was at the register and yeah, it was at
the register.

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
I just locked eyes beautiful, like look like a wolf,
this dude, And.

Speaker 1 (01:22:32):
No, I was.

Speaker 2 (01:22:34):
I was sitting in a chair. I'm like waiting for
my mom to buy shit. Uh, And there's it's just
TJ Max. There's just shit everywhere. There's not a lot
of people around. I'm like wearing a big jacket and
I'm like wearing a coat. You know, it's it's winter
in Nebraska, and I just I just I just jerked off.

Speaker 1 (01:22:53):
It was I was bored.

Speaker 2 (01:22:54):
It was out of boredom, right, it was like a
jerk off out of boredom. And uh. But then I
noticed the security guard who was kind of looking at me,
and it's kind of hard to jerk off and not
like move move your art. So I think I think
he probably was like, this motherfucker's jerking off in this
TJ Max. Right, But then I couldn't stop because it

(01:23:17):
was I was too far down the process. So I
just kept going, even though I'm pretty sure I was
already spotted.

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
Yeah, like spotted, like you spotted your.

Speaker 4 (01:23:25):
Pants, like you were preeing you were was that the.

Speaker 2 (01:23:29):
Yeah, the pants were messed up. What I did is
I went in the bathroom afterwards and threw them away.

Speaker 4 (01:23:36):
Oh I've done that, And you're like, mom, I want
to buy these pants. I'm gonna wear them out of
the TJ Max.

Speaker 1 (01:23:43):
You threw your pants away, You threw your onion.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
No, not the pants. The undies. Yeah, my Joe boxers,
my Joe box Oh, Kyle, do tell about you?

Speaker 4 (01:23:53):
Oh lots of you were jacking off and then shot it. Well, yeah,
I was jacking off. That was all clean.

Speaker 1 (01:23:59):
This was no dude, I've just thrown myndies away because
I have shipped myself before, like a while on a
shift at Brendan Theaters. Dude, me too.

Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
We both ship our pants at the same job.

Speaker 1 (01:24:10):
Do you guys think you ate something? I think we
threw them out in the same place too, right like
that next door spot? Fuck it, I love Did you
throw them out that yummy? You guys ate a place?
I love? Terioki?

Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
Yeah, cause bomb dude, they'd give discounts to everybody who
worked at Brendan Theaters and it was very delicious, but
it was rich.

Speaker 1 (01:24:32):
It was it was very rich.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
So you guys like it's happened to me. It must
have been a few times, but just the one time
that I really remember it was the stand up comedy
night that I said in one of the very first
podcasts and the whole turn right where yeah, the whole
turt came out and I put it in the pot
of plant wrapped in a napkin.

Speaker 5 (01:24:50):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
But this, it sounds like it happens fairly frequently to you, Kyle. Uh,
why do you think that is? Do you think it's
all the veggies. Do you think maybe you.

Speaker 1 (01:24:58):
Need No, No, this is something that's been going on
since I was the meat eater. I just have like leakage.

Speaker 2 (01:25:05):
Oh you got a seepage situation.

Speaker 1 (01:25:07):
It's a seep situation.

Speaker 4 (01:25:08):
Yeah, just like a loose Oh what are we thinking?
Like your sphincter's loose.

Speaker 2 (01:25:12):
You blew your O ring.

Speaker 1 (01:25:13):
No. Sometimes I just pushed too hard to fart and
then you know, some stuff comes out. You know, it's
like that's what happens. It is a delicate dance.

Speaker 4 (01:25:21):
And sometimes you're like I got total control of Nope,
I just ship my pants.

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
I have a fart right now. If you guys would
like to hear it? Would you like to hear it?

Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:25:28):
Yes, yeah I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:25:31):
I don't, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:25:37):
Was that real stereo sound now in Doby.

Speaker 2 (01:25:43):
That didn't sound real at all?

Speaker 1 (01:25:45):
Was that real band? Smells real bad smells real?

Speaker 3 (01:25:49):
My?

Speaker 1 (01:25:50):
Yeah? Yeah, no, So I have I have great farts,
like fantastic farts, and I always want to hear them,
and I always want to give my best but performance,
and sometimes it's it's ship.

Speaker 3 (01:26:01):
If I may, you may.

Speaker 4 (01:26:02):
I just want to say, like, based on hearing the
like slap, the snap, crackle and pop of your buttole
it does not sound like it's very tight, like I
feel like things would slip out of that.

Speaker 1 (01:26:12):
Correct, That's what I'm saying. There was like extra clappite.

Speaker 2 (01:26:15):
Just but just from the audio, you could tell that
things could slide out.

Speaker 4 (01:26:20):
Yeah, I mean it just had a flatness to it,
you know, kind of like a little too loose and slappy.

Speaker 1 (01:26:25):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:26:26):
Yeah, it pop, I got the film me it pops?

Speaker 1 (01:26:30):
Correct, yes, yes, correct, Yes, that's in a correct assessment.

Speaker 4 (01:26:34):
And then you gave it I thought it was all done,
and then you gave it extra yeah, which tells me
that's when you're really playing with fire.

Speaker 2 (01:26:40):
That's when seepage happens.

Speaker 1 (01:26:42):
Right. It's also when the funniest farts happened, when you
think you're done and then you hit them again, you
know what I mean. Of course, little pulsing action is
good for the comedy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:49):
It's science.

Speaker 4 (01:26:50):
We're not saying it isn't right, right, Yeah, but yes,
it comes with a raw deal where sometimes.

Speaker 1 (01:26:56):
You shit yourself. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:26:57):
Hey man, you play a fire, you get burned, you know,
every once in a while.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
I agree, brother, Well you ever, you know when it
started happening, when I was like obsessed with lighting my
farts on fire? Torking? Are we talking about talking? Wait?

Speaker 3 (01:27:11):
Torture?

Speaker 2 (01:27:13):
Is that what you call it? Torquing?

Speaker 1 (01:27:15):
We called it torquing.

Speaker 3 (01:27:16):
Oh that's chorging and versus torking.

Speaker 2 (01:27:18):
It's not torching.

Speaker 1 (01:27:20):
We called it torquing.

Speaker 2 (01:27:22):
Why did you call it that?

Speaker 1 (01:27:23):
This is just lighting your farts on fire?

Speaker 2 (01:27:25):
What's the reason.

Speaker 4 (01:27:25):
I don't know, that's what. That's how I learned it
at summer camp, and I used to fucking tork it up.

Speaker 2 (01:27:29):
You know what I think happened. I think they said torching.
You said torquing. No one told you otherwise. Then you
took that home from southern as a summer camp.

Speaker 1 (01:27:38):
From southern camp, Mama, they're out here talking how to
be more southern?

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
Uh? Do you think that? Because torking doesn't make any sense,
torching makes perfect sense.

Speaker 4 (01:27:51):
I will say a couple of things. That's possible. So
that's possible.

Speaker 1 (01:27:55):
Secondly, cool.

Speaker 4 (01:27:56):
Secondly, does it have to make sense? Half of this
ship never makes sense?

Speaker 1 (01:28:00):
Just what's what's the org?

Speaker 2 (01:28:02):
Chorging makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 (01:28:06):
Sounds. What is it? It's an on a monopia.

Speaker 4 (01:28:08):
Let's leave it to the people out there, slide and
dms let them know if torquing is a thing.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
I feel like we've covered a lot so far in
this podcast. Guys, we covered is it over come? Did
you just use the heart? Make you gotta let people know?

Speaker 1 (01:28:25):
I didn't even know?

Speaker 2 (01:28:27):
Yeah, Heed, Hey.

Speaker 1 (01:28:29):
Todd, if we could just ISO that on the mix,
that'd be great, ye.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
And Todd, let's ISO that on the mix and then
bring it back right now mm hmm, just so everyone
can really.

Speaker 1 (01:28:40):
Sound like, No, it didn't. Let's and let's ISO it
again to compare. Okay, see it didn't really sound.

Speaker 2 (01:28:49):
Like that, all right, See it did not sound.

Speaker 1 (01:28:51):
And now run that. Run that right by my audio
clip as well, and put them back to back.

Speaker 3 (01:29:00):
And then now can you, yeah, can you play the
one from the last episode, please, well that one.

Speaker 1 (01:29:05):
I wasn't doing an impression of that one, but.

Speaker 3 (01:29:06):
Now I want to just do a side by side.
I just want to do a side by side if
that's possible.

Speaker 1 (01:29:11):
All right, Okay, thank you Todd.

Speaker 6 (01:29:19):
So thank you Todd, Thank you Todd, thank you to
thank god.

Speaker 1 (01:29:24):
That's pretty good. We did that one more time. Thank
you Todd. You got it.

Speaker 3 (01:29:30):
You got it, baby, really good stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:29:32):
Guys.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
Guys, I'm in Texas right now, and uh as you
could tell Houston. We're in Houston. We have a problem,
and uh my dad is here. If you guys would
like to say a quick hello.

Speaker 3 (01:29:46):
Hey, yeah, is this.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
Our first guest on the podcast?

Speaker 2 (01:29:49):
This is our first guest?

Speaker 3 (01:29:50):
Whoa first guest here?

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
Well, I'll let them talk for just just a few
minutes because I'm a whore for this hot pub and
I gotta get I gotta get back to it. But
he does want to know why you guys haven't reached
out about his kidser diagnosis.

Speaker 4 (01:30:05):
Okay, here you go, Oh okay, okay, what do you
want to hug and a kiss? Shee hey, buddy's right here.

Speaker 3 (01:30:15):
It's beaming Dennis d dude, legendary dad on the pod.
First guest ever. I would like it no other way.
How are you my?

Speaker 5 (01:30:26):
I'm good. I'm good, killing cancer one cell at a time.

Speaker 3 (01:30:29):
Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:30:30):
Hell yeah, fighting that good fight. Shit.

Speaker 3 (01:30:32):
Yeah, I mean we heard your still ripping bongs and
all that, and we're in good spirits.

Speaker 5 (01:30:38):
Oh hell yeah, that's the kids. Didn't believe me when
I talked to the doctors and the ozarks, and they said, yeah,
blaze away and uh and then we come here and
so the best doctors in the world say, shit, you
got it, smoke it sabby, and there's there's still wanting
another opinion.

Speaker 1 (01:30:58):
No, that's the only opinion that.

Speaker 5 (01:31:01):
Hell, yeah, that's right, that's right. They said, just don't
make that your first question.

Speaker 3 (01:31:06):
Yeah, how's how's how's Houston treating you? Are they? Are
they doing you right? And all that?

Speaker 5 (01:31:11):
Houston's good? But saw some baseball, saw little basketball.

Speaker 1 (01:31:16):
That's right.

Speaker 5 (01:31:17):
So yeah, everything's good.

Speaker 4 (01:31:19):
Right, So what's the deal you're doing chemo? Do you
get to like have local grub or are you on
a certain diet that they got you off for this?

Speaker 3 (01:31:27):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:31:27):
In fact, they told me to eat everything, so I did.
I gained fifteen freaking pounds.

Speaker 1 (01:31:33):
Now we're talking really, I'm gonna be.

Speaker 5 (01:31:35):
The only fat cancer survivor.

Speaker 3 (01:31:39):
That's the secret. That's how you beat it, dude.

Speaker 5 (01:31:43):
Yeah, feed dead cancer, feed dead.

Speaker 3 (01:31:45):
Yeah, dude, gosh, we're fucking rooting for you.

Speaker 1 (01:31:47):
Brother.

Speaker 5 (01:31:48):
Well thanks, ma'am.

Speaker 2 (01:31:50):
Yeah, I really feel like it's an excuse for obesity
for yeah dad to get his fat. I'm not even
convinced he has cancer. Right, Like, he'll have like eight
helpings of something and he's like the doctor said, and
now he's got man, he's got some serious squeeze ability there.

Speaker 1 (01:32:11):
Welcome to the party. They feel good.

Speaker 4 (01:32:13):
Yeah, buddy, when you like go downstairs quickly and they shake.

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
Oh yeah, I love that feeling.

Speaker 4 (01:32:19):
Yea. Is Adam getting you any voice over work with
this new smoky tone, You've got.

Speaker 3 (01:32:24):
No, No, you sound cool as fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:32:26):
Talk to his agents.

Speaker 5 (01:32:27):
Yeah, I'm gonna have to you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:32:30):
Can you give a commercial for Quizno's or something real quick.

Speaker 1 (01:32:34):
Dennis is the one who did the noise at the
end of every Workaholics episode. That was his voice.

Speaker 3 (01:32:41):
Oh yeah, that's right, this is the voice.

Speaker 4 (01:32:43):
Is it him or is it Adam doing an impression?

Speaker 3 (01:32:46):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:32:46):
We pulled Dennis back into the room and he did
it into the microphone a couple of times. Yeah it
was me, Dennis. Hell yeah it is.

Speaker 5 (01:32:54):
Well. Actually brought up a good point now that it's
out there for all the lawyers. I still haven't got
my check.

Speaker 3 (01:33:01):
Oh dang, yeah, we got you.

Speaker 5 (01:33:04):
My check is still missing.

Speaker 1 (01:33:06):
Talk to your son, yeah, Adam. Adam always said it
was a family discount.

Speaker 3 (01:33:10):
Adam, what's going on here? Get your dad paid?

Speaker 5 (01:33:13):
For Sure? For Sure?

Speaker 1 (01:33:16):
Did I ever show you guys that I was in
a kid rock music video? Wait?

Speaker 2 (01:33:21):
I knew this is just Jersey's way to bring up
his kid rock music video.

Speaker 1 (01:33:25):
What do you mean?

Speaker 3 (01:33:27):
This whole pod has been just one big long con
for you to talk about what.

Speaker 1 (01:33:35):
You've been moving, the conversation you've been moving the conversation
kid video. I did it.

Speaker 4 (01:33:42):
It's gonna air next weeklations bud.

Speaker 3 (01:33:47):
Yeah, and while you tell us the story of this,
I will be seeing it if it's on your IMDb,
because if it's.

Speaker 1 (01:33:52):
Not, it's my homie.

Speaker 4 (01:33:54):
Brian got like cast as like a bare knuckle boxer.

Speaker 2 (01:33:58):
I remember this. I was so pumped on.

Speaker 4 (01:33:59):
He's like my other buddy dropped out and he was like,
can you can you come do this?

Speaker 1 (01:34:03):
And I'm like what is it?

Speaker 4 (01:34:04):
And he's like we're just bare knuckle boxing shirts off
in front of the like drummer from kid rock.

Speaker 1 (01:34:10):
And I was like sure, and.

Speaker 4 (01:34:12):
I think I got like two hundred fifty bucks or something.

Speaker 1 (01:34:15):
It was great, but.

Speaker 2 (01:34:15):
Then in the video, like you can't really tell. It's
like always like kind of on your back and you're
like blurry and shit, and I was salty. I wanted
you to be the star of that fucking video. I
was like, cause it ended up.

Speaker 1 (01:34:27):
Being kid Rock.

Speaker 2 (01:34:28):
Yeah, I know it sucked.

Speaker 1 (01:34:31):
Yeah, that sucked.

Speaker 5 (01:34:34):
All right. Well, I've ever to let you guys get
back to podcasting because that shit's important.

Speaker 3 (01:34:40):
Yeah, man, thank you, Dennis. Yeah, super stoked to have
you as the first and only guest on this is important.

Speaker 1 (01:34:46):
That's right, right, much love Dennis.

Speaker 2 (01:34:51):
And you guys were I mean, you guys were Baeria
like that, the suburbs forty five minutes outside the Bay
Area and beery minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:35:06):
Away from and Tom Hanks is not from forty thirty.

Speaker 2 (01:35:10):
Yeah, but so you guys would seg your pants down
so fucking far. Correct, So your whole asshole is hanging out,
and so there's just one tiny, little thin piece of
fabric between an open flame and you're gaping gas leaking asshole.

Speaker 1 (01:35:27):
Yes, well we thought that was the safe way to
do it, because Blake, didn't your dad have a horror
story about like when he did it, Bear asked, and
his asshole actually sucked the Yeah, you don't do it.
You do it through your pants too.

Speaker 2 (01:35:39):
You could do it through your gene.

Speaker 1 (01:35:40):
His asshole actually sucked the I don't know if it
was your dad who did this, but one of his friends.

Speaker 3 (01:35:44):
Well, this is what I was about to ask you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:35:47):
Well we know now that we know your dad listens to
the podcast, So I'm pretty sure is your dad that
this happened to?

Speaker 1 (01:35:54):
And what does he call it? Dad?

Speaker 3 (01:35:55):
It wasn't. No, That was what I was about to
ask you, dudes. Was I was like, did you hear
the urban legend where some kid kind of was trying
to light his fart on fire and the flame sucked
up into his asshole and burned his intestines and.

Speaker 1 (01:36:12):
He got I believe that right?

Speaker 3 (01:36:13):
You do?

Speaker 1 (01:36:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:36:14):
No, And I thought that was your dad? Thought that
happened to.

Speaker 3 (01:36:17):
No, my dad's asshole is fully functioning to my knowledge.

Speaker 1 (01:36:22):
Goodbye. See. So I thought I was being safe by
going through the pants, but I think I might have
fucked up my ass and caused seapog. So this is
the root you have like a charred hole?

Speaker 3 (01:36:34):
Wait, yeah, I think I climbing this car.

Speaker 1 (01:36:39):
That's right. I couldn't draw a correlation between lighting my
farts on fire and.

Speaker 4 (01:36:45):
I can draw a picture of my buttthole for you,
freehand from memory, and it's just.

Speaker 2 (01:36:51):
A black blob.

Speaker 1 (01:36:52):
Just squat over a mirror and give me a charcoal drawing.

Speaker 4 (01:36:55):
Ever clear, I could draw a picture of my buttle
and like holding your nuts up and just kind of.

Speaker 1 (01:37:05):
Yeah, I think it caused seepage. Be careful out there, kids,
Just be.

Speaker 3 (01:37:08):
Careful, careful of torking or torching or whatever you call it,
and do it.

Speaker 1 (01:37:12):
If you're gonna do it, do it through your underwear
and your shorts or pants, or at least underwear. At
least underwear.

Speaker 2 (01:37:18):
So I jerk off Injxes Blake is a notorious airplane
jo pervert. Always Kyle's ships his pants more often than not.
What's up?

Speaker 1 (01:37:32):
What's what's?

Speaker 2 (01:37:32):
What's your thing?

Speaker 1 (01:37:33):
When?

Speaker 2 (01:37:33):
Where did you jerk off? Or what happened with your poops?

Speaker 3 (01:37:37):
Or what's your deep dark secret?

Speaker 2 (01:37:39):
Get pissed on yourself all the time?

Speaker 1 (01:37:41):
Peace? You gotta drip drop peace? Do I do?

Speaker 4 (01:37:44):
Love this podcast. We've already talked about Ace Venture, how
Jim Carrey was definitely like and as silly as this
guy is, he fucks like a champ, like he really
rails this woman while animals watch.

Speaker 1 (01:37:58):
It's a disgusting happen.

Speaker 4 (01:37:59):
He gets a blow job in the first ten minutes
of the movie, and they're like, yeah, okay, I don't know,
would he though he's kind of a buffoon.

Speaker 1 (01:38:07):
Yeah, I know, but he can. He can fucking lay
pipe though.

Speaker 2 (01:38:10):
But he for sure throws it down.

Speaker 4 (01:38:12):
Uh, it's funny, get it because he wouldn't be able to,
So it's funny.

Speaker 3 (01:38:15):
Well, sure are friendly around here.

Speaker 1 (01:38:17):
Crazy, I know, there's weird jokes about it.

Speaker 3 (01:38:20):
He's just getting laid constantly. So cool.

Speaker 4 (01:38:23):
Yeah, Like it's that funny and I'm ten years old,
just going, Yeah, this is how people behave.

Speaker 2 (01:38:28):
That's how it works, that's how I have to act.

Speaker 3 (01:38:30):
I gotta check the writing credits. I have a feeling
he may have been in the writer's room.

Speaker 1 (01:38:34):
Daddle bags.

Speaker 2 (01:38:35):
Well that's uh, that's why I did ace Ventura Impressions
for for five years in a row. After that movie came.

Speaker 1 (01:38:41):
Out, it really did infest.

Speaker 2 (01:38:44):
I was like, girls like guys that act like this,
somebody stop me.

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
Okay, will you go to the dance with me? Alrighty?
Then is that a yes? Check?

Speaker 3 (01:38:57):
Your number's still nine to one one.

Speaker 2 (01:39:01):
A buddy of mine had to go to rehab because he's.

Speaker 1 (01:39:05):
Oh, yeah, this is great.

Speaker 2 (01:39:06):
The parents sent him to rehab because he wouldn't stop
doing Ace Fincher Jim Carrey.

Speaker 1 (01:39:11):
Impressions, like that was the addiction he.

Speaker 2 (01:39:13):
That's all he talked like for two years straight. Yeah,
that they sent him to rehab to like or count
stop the cycle.

Speaker 3 (01:39:20):
That would be such a cool, strange addictions episode.

Speaker 2 (01:39:23):
Mm hmm, Yeah he was. He was addicted. It was
my buddy, Kevin Hart. I'll shut him out, yeah wine mouth.

Speaker 4 (01:39:28):
Yeah, oh god, that's great. And I feel for him
because it was. It just it worked its way into
you on like an old school level or like Anchorman.

Speaker 1 (01:39:39):
Yeah, like it's science and if you're ten and you're
just running around science quoting that movie like a glove
Laca glave.

Speaker 3 (01:39:46):
Yeah. I really wanted to get the kind of pants
he wore. He wore like those like red and black
stripe pants. I'm like, I've got a dressed just like
a Centuri because this dude is getting babes.

Speaker 1 (01:39:56):
I think I had Jerbo's that looked like that. Hestribed.

Speaker 2 (01:40:00):
Well, that's that was because it was pre Internet and
pre like memes and gifts and and all that shit.
So like that was the social currency of the time,
like knowing the quotes and if you said it, if
you said it, people are gonna laugh, Like you didn't

(01:40:21):
need your own joke football. It's it's very much like
how kids today will just rehash a meme and be
like that's funny, right, and other kids laugh and they're like, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:40:31):
Killing it, yes, Satan.

Speaker 3 (01:40:34):
Everybody's just acting like King Batch.

Speaker 2 (01:40:37):
Hey, do your kids like and subscribe? Do they say
like and subscribe.

Speaker 4 (01:40:42):
Like walking around like after they say, oh, dude, that's funny,
they just yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:40:47):
Like a buddy of mine always posts like with his
little nieces and nephews, and they're always they always will
like say a thing and at the end of it
be like like and subscribe if it's on YouTube, and
you're just like, oh, those kids are watching way too
much YouTube.

Speaker 3 (01:41:03):
Yeah, that should be a sign that maybe they get
off the iPad for just a little bit. I will
say that the ship that kind of freaks me out,
but I kind of do want to try it. Has
you have you seen like the three D printer food?

Speaker 1 (01:41:18):
Yeah? Whoa, whoa talk to me baby? What is this?

Speaker 3 (01:41:21):
Yeah? Like I saw some steaks where it's like all
like three D printed from like I don't I don't know,
like organic materials or something. But it looks like steak.
But it's completely synthetic. It's weird wild stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:41:36):
Oh wow, So is it like paper? It's edible. It's edible.

Speaker 3 (01:41:40):
Yeah, it's edible.

Speaker 1 (01:41:41):
Did you say it's paper. No, it's it's made of
organic tissue or whatever. It's paper. Wait, you printed it.
It's paper. It's science.

Speaker 3 (01:41:49):
I mean it might be paper.

Speaker 1 (01:41:51):
This is like using the same technology where they this
is like using the medical technology where they can rebuild
organs and stuff like that, where they can.

Speaker 4 (01:41:58):
They grew the ear on that fucking mouse or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:42:00):
Yeah, they can. With skin tissue, they can actually like make.

Speaker 3 (01:42:03):
My dick bigger.

Speaker 2 (01:42:06):
So you're telling me there's a chance.

Speaker 3 (01:42:09):
Frank and weed huge three D print me some new testicles.

Speaker 1 (01:42:15):
Here's my question. Would would you eat adam? Mostly for
you because you're a steak guy. You eat steak nine
days a week of science? Would you eat a cow
that was cloned?

Speaker 3 (01:42:28):
Oh? Cloned? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:42:32):
Yes? Zero hesitation? I my no.

Speaker 2 (01:42:37):
My hesitation was why would I hesitate?

Speaker 1 (01:42:39):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:42:39):
Why would I not? And uh? Then I thought about
it for a brief moment and nothing popped up, and
it's like, fucking scroll through your terminator brain. Yeah no,
why why would I not? Why would I not?

Speaker 3 (01:42:51):
Why not?

Speaker 4 (01:42:52):
Because it's like cloned. It's like it's not it didn't
come from my God.

Speaker 3 (01:42:59):
We trusts. Okay, we're gonna put whatever the scientists tell
us in our body. Okay, there we go.

Speaker 1 (01:43:06):
When when you clone something, does that something start as
a baby or does it just come out the exact opposite? Like,
how does that work? Yes, Kyle, it has to grow up.
It does.

Speaker 3 (01:43:17):
That's fucked up, seriously.

Speaker 4 (01:43:18):
So like people who got cash are having they'll have
like a dog die and they'll pay like two hundred
and fifty g's to have the same dog cloned and grown.

Speaker 1 (01:43:29):
So they just keep reading that is the sixth grade,
that's the sixth Day. That's repet Yes, yeah, So would
you eat that dog, Adam?

Speaker 2 (01:43:36):
When I eat a dog, I probably would.

Speaker 1 (01:43:38):
No, No, the cloned pet. Well, you have to consider
that eating dogs is cool?

Speaker 3 (01:43:44):
Okay, I will say it is. It is in the
movie Sixth Day. And for anybody who hasn't seen this
Arnold movie underrated as fuck, check out the Sixth Day.

Speaker 1 (01:43:53):
Great film and what is his character's name in that movie? Uh?
Ben gleib Lean.

Speaker 3 (01:44:03):
No comedian, a very deep cut comedian.

Speaker 1 (01:44:07):
Oh yeah, yeah, Why did that come up? Because you're
obsessed with them?

Speaker 2 (01:44:10):
Yeah, you love Benjamin Lee.

Speaker 1 (01:44:12):
No, somebody saying it in the chat.

Speaker 3 (01:44:14):
No, they're saying. Streisand revealed that two of her three
cotton or dogs were clones, Barber strysand ship br.

Speaker 1 (01:44:24):
If Streisand's doing it. I'm down.

Speaker 3 (01:44:26):
He's in the Illuminati for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:44:28):
We should clone her. Oh yeah, what if her dogs
clone her? How she feel?

Speaker 2 (01:44:33):
Yeah, I'm fine with Well, isn't it? Uh if we
are able to clone these animals and then eat them,
would we not be able to? Uh? Would that cut
down on like the all the.

Speaker 4 (01:44:46):
No, because it's the same animals, it's the same amount
of animals.

Speaker 2 (01:44:50):
But could you maybe clone them so they didn't fart
all the time? Because that's the issue, right, Isn't that
The whole.

Speaker 1 (01:44:55):
Thing with global warming is all farts the ozone.

Speaker 4 (01:44:59):
But the methane's got to go out out of somewhere,
like that's that's that's gas. Gas you don't want in
your body. That's why it gets expelled, Like you don't
that's why you dookie, because if the dookie stays in, right,
that's that's bad stuff you become.

Speaker 3 (01:45:11):
You don't think in in years we won't develop science
that will make it so we don't have to fart side.
You can like somehow expel that gas. Another way.

Speaker 1 (01:45:23):
You probably to get a little second buttthole put in
wherever you want it, like an open second butthole that
just can Like some of those whistles from when you
were a kid that go.

Speaker 4 (01:45:33):
A kazoo, They had like a pinwheel, a pinwheel in
them and they would go.

Speaker 2 (01:45:39):
Whoo, sounds pretty kazoo.

Speaker 3 (01:45:43):
It's like a kazoo.

Speaker 1 (01:45:44):
It's a pinwheel whistle. It's not a kazoo.

Speaker 4 (01:45:47):
Right, hey, guys, slide in these guys DM send the
pictures of the whistle with the little pinwheel on the
inside that.

Speaker 3 (01:45:53):
Go preferably while it's hanging out of your butt.

Speaker 4 (01:45:59):
Bury it in the news. Yeah, I don't want that
to happen. Look, that's where the buck stops to me.

Speaker 1 (01:46:05):
I fart. Okay, you're not going to take it away
from me. You're not going to change it. Well, that's
what I would The only way I would change it
is if I could have multiple buttholes, Like if I
could reroute.

Speaker 2 (01:46:13):
Well, I would like to not fart. If there was
a pillar or something where I never farted again.

Speaker 1 (01:46:17):
I would do that. What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:46:20):
You guys love farting and I hardly ever do.

Speaker 1 (01:46:23):
That's insane.

Speaker 4 (01:46:23):
That's one of your greatest defense mechanisms, Adam. Don't you
realize if you're being attached by an animal, the first
line of defense is you fart on them yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:46:32):
Now, what you're supposed to do is and Blake, I'm
quoting Blake. You're supposed to You're supposed to reach down
their throat.

Speaker 3 (01:46:40):
That's a wildcat.

Speaker 2 (01:46:41):
You're supposed to put your arm down their throat and
then rip their intines out of their butthole.

Speaker 3 (01:46:47):
That's a wildcat, specifically a wildcat. Well, and then, but
then if that doesn't work, you have to fart in
their face, right across their uvula.

Speaker 2 (01:46:58):
Well, that's the opposite, because dogs wouldn't dogs. When you
fart around a dog, he will dive snout first into
your asshole. Dogs they love it.

Speaker 1 (01:47:09):
Right, Yeah, dogs rock snout first. Dogs rock.

Speaker 3 (01:47:12):
That's a companion animal.

Speaker 1 (01:47:14):
Oh okay, beautiful man. Now as a comedian, though, I
don't even know. The comedian's perspective of ditching farts is
absolutely absurd to me, Like, how much have you laughed
in your life over farts? And you're just saying, without
a blink of an eye that, yeah, I don't want
it no more, Adam.

Speaker 4 (01:47:34):
To be honest, I've never laughed at you if it
wasn't a fart. So you're willing to give that up? Yeah,
it's always part related, so you could. You're trying to
pull the rug out of your whole career and your
friend shit.

Speaker 1 (01:47:44):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:47:45):
I guess I thought you guys like my personalities, so
but it is ours. Our relationship is fart based.

Speaker 3 (01:47:51):
Oh my god, you're just realizing that, Yeah, your entire
sense of humor is hinged on your farting.

Speaker 2 (01:47:59):
I guess I did know that, and that would be
my first uh. I would like to start the takebacks
and apologies. I'd like to take back saying that I'd
give up farting because I didn't realize that I had
so much weight on our relationship and our friendship. And
if it means that much to you guys, I'm gonna
stay farting guys.

Speaker 1 (01:48:18):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:48:20):
I wish.

Speaker 2 (01:48:20):
I wish I could queue up a wet one right now,
but I don't have one.

Speaker 1 (01:48:25):
Kyle's the only one who's started on the podcast, right, I.

Speaker 3 (01:48:28):
Believe, So I did.

Speaker 1 (01:48:29):
I did do that.

Speaker 2 (01:48:30):
That was real nice. That was a juicy one.

Speaker 1 (01:48:32):
You got one right now, you got one in the chamber.
I'm sitting with a pee, pretty heavy with a pee,
so I don't know that I'll be able to pull
it off. Yeah, you can't pinch, and I'm just trying
right now. I'm doing a wiggle and I don't think.
I think the liquid's coming first. So I'm not going
to do that to you guys. I get that, And
I apologize for not peeing on the microphone. That makes sense,

(01:48:53):
That's my bad.

Speaker 4 (01:48:55):
So yeah, after drinking beers for like forty eight hours,
you know you're an awesome you're pounding some loan stars.

Speaker 3 (01:49:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:49:01):
Yeah, So getting rid of for the day because we
kind of get like this is important to so we
get carted around, right, we get carved around all this stuff.
It's kind of like an agendas, like, hey, shower mate
us down here. It's like all right, I'm in the shower,
like Kyle, I'm like all right, I got fart, I'm
just gonna rip it, and then I just ship into
the shower and I.

Speaker 1 (01:49:19):
Was like, seeps, just kind of okay.

Speaker 2 (01:49:22):
I think this is why I don't shun't. I'm never
forcing farts out. Farts sometimes leak out of me. I
think that's the issue.

Speaker 1 (01:49:29):
Yeah, but I didn't. I didn't want to. That's well,
that's leaking anyway. No, but diarrhea in the shower is
like diarrhea, diarrhea.

Speaker 3 (01:49:41):
This one was a little like kind of like underground
and like seemed like, you know, it's kind of like
this was the first time the dude had hosted it,
but he'd been doing it for like ten years. But
I could see where it could get very big. I
mean it was big. It was grand for how small
it was, but I could see where it could go
off like Vegas style. I bet those drag shows are

(01:50:01):
insane and everybody is having so much fun.

Speaker 2 (01:50:04):
This is what I'm getting from you talking about this.
You want to do drag When we do the live show,
we do this is important. The guys do drag and
we all come out dressed as women and put on
a fun show.

Speaker 3 (01:50:19):
Yes, well, this was the thing I'm like, I go
in there, right'. I go down the stairs, and while
I'm walking down the stairs for you know, four guys
asked me like, hey, will you take our picture in
the stairwell and I'm like yeah, for sure, for sure,
of course I take the picture. I'm handing the phone
back and the guy's like, wait, are you blake from Workaholics.

(01:50:39):
I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah i am. I'm actually here.
I'm filming something here in Atlanta. And he's like, yeah, yeah,
I could tell because you have makeup on your face.
And I'm like, no, no, I don't have any makeup on.
He's like, oh, yeah, you do have makeup.

Speaker 2 (01:50:55):
Covered in makeup and glitter and you're wearing lipstick though.

Speaker 3 (01:50:57):
Yeah, And I'm like, no, I'm not wearing any makeup.
We actually haven't started filming yet. And he's like, oh, okay,
so you're here alone. I'm like no, my cast is
right over there. He's like, hey, don't worry about it, dude,
I'll keep it on the DL. I'm like, you don't
have to keep it on the DL.

Speaker 1 (01:51:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:51:12):
I feel like this is his running bit with everybody
he runs into. He he assumes our nose from the
Internet is straight, and it's just.

Speaker 1 (01:51:18):
Like, Okay, you're gay. I got your secret right here.

Speaker 3 (01:51:20):
Good. It was so weird, So I go over to
the other cast members awoke. I'm like, this dude just
told me that I'm wearing makeup? What's going on? And
they're like, dude, you look fucking insane. The whole place
is like lit with black lights.

Speaker 2 (01:51:32):
M h.

Speaker 3 (01:51:33):
And I guess the moisturizer I use has SPF in it, right,
and it was picking up with the black light, so
my face looked like it was glowing, like I was
wearing glowing white face, or like I was like one
of the Neon gang members from Batman Forever, if you
get that reference. It was like, I look, I got

(01:51:53):
you insane.

Speaker 4 (01:51:55):
I looked absolutely like a background actor from Belly exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:51:59):
I thought you're saying, like like one of these guys
got a little too close and like you rubbed your
face against his butt cheek or something, and you got
some butt cheek makeup on your face or something. That's
where I thought it was going.

Speaker 4 (01:52:11):
Those are my favorite pictures. We're like at a club,
like a black dude will have been dancing with a
white girl. With like crazy makeup on her face and
when he comes away, it's like on his neck.

Speaker 3 (01:52:21):
Oh yeah, he's like, oops, dude. But Lamarne took a
video of me. You guys have to see it because
I looked so crazy. I was so lucky that it
wasn't just like a club club and it was like
drag night because people go all out and like they
show up in wild as shit, like they'll just have
fucking just some leathers.

Speaker 2 (01:52:41):
So people just thought like, oh, look at look at him.
He just decided to put on some some fun white
face and that's not racist because he is why you
can't do that.

Speaker 1 (01:52:49):
Right, didn't do anything else, but did that?

Speaker 2 (01:52:51):
Didn't weird that he did that and he wore that
fun wig.

Speaker 3 (01:52:55):
They're like, he's here on the d L. He's here
on the d L, but he came completely like makeup,
did himself out. I wonder if he's getting on stage.

Speaker 4 (01:53:04):
I think it's a nice little shout out though, for
everyone out there who uses moisturizer, like Blake does that,
uh clear from from black lights because uh apparently you'll glow.
So then we go to this converse like giveaway thing
and it's set.

Speaker 1 (01:53:21):
Up in like a house or something. Right, do you
guys remember this?

Speaker 4 (01:53:23):
They had like an American flagmate out of white and
blue shoes.

Speaker 3 (01:53:27):
And there's two very cute installments.

Speaker 1 (01:53:29):
There's two bathrooms.

Speaker 4 (01:53:30):
One has a line, and I'm like, I'm gonna shit
my pants.

Speaker 1 (01:53:34):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:53:34):
The other one has no line, right, So I go
in that moment that's just got a toilet, and I'm like, well,
I'll go, I'll take a piss because we were just
slamming beers. So I piss and I'm like while I'm pissing,
i just shit my underwear, right, And so it's just
a toilet. There's not even a sink in there. There's

(01:53:55):
not even a garbage can, right, And I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:53:58):
I'm laughing extra hard because i know, out of the
four of us, Durs would be the funniest to have
this situation happen to.

Speaker 4 (01:54:05):
Full And it's like it's like ninety five degrees and
I'm like, okay, So I get my underwear off and
I just bunch them up in my hand and then
I go and I like staying to Isaac, I go, yeah,
I toss with my manager.

Speaker 1 (01:54:19):
I say, manage this, and then or maybe I'd kept
them on. Fuck. I don't know, but I go and
stand in the other line.

Speaker 4 (01:54:29):
For the other bathroom because I see that it's got
like full everything in there. And then I get in there,
get the underwear off, bury it under like all the
paper towels that are there, wash my hands, and get
the fuck out of there. And then I was just
free bawling it for the rest of the day, fully chafing.
You know, no thigh gap here, So it.

Speaker 3 (01:54:51):
Sounds like you handled it like, sounds like you mcguiberd
your diarrhea well done.

Speaker 2 (01:54:57):
I mean, we're all definitely dumb in our own ways.
I wouldn't say we're dumb people like in general in
the grand scheme of life, I wouldn't say any of
us are actually dumb people. But we're definitely dumb in
our own specific certain ways.

Speaker 4 (01:55:10):
Yeah, do you think we're smart with our powers combined
before us? Okay, do you think we're smarter like our
our smart powers combined are smarter than our dumb powers
combined are dumb?

Speaker 1 (01:55:23):
Like?

Speaker 4 (01:55:23):
Are we collectively stupider than we are smart?

Speaker 3 (01:55:27):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:55:28):
Is that? Or do you guys even understand what I'm saying?
I do, I don't get it.

Speaker 2 (01:55:31):
No, I think, uh, goodbye. I think the reason that
we work together as a group so well is that
we're all uh the deficiencies. What we're good at outweighs
our deficiencies, and you're you're smart at the thing I'm
dumb at, and I'm smart at the thing that you
guys are dumb at, and vice versa.

Speaker 1 (01:55:49):
Well said like, I'll be like, guys, what time is it?
You'll tell me.

Speaker 2 (01:55:52):
And yeah, well we're able to it. Will say, uh, yeah,
we're able to tell time. That's that's the only leg
up I have on Earth.

Speaker 3 (01:56:00):
The four of us combined, we can tell you the time,
the month, and the day of the week. But it
takes a lot of work.

Speaker 1 (01:56:07):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:56:07):
No, I would say, I think the magic of us
is how collectively stupid we are. That's why I love us. Guys,
come on,